Ask, Tell, Confess: Shrimp in the Curtain Rod

Summary

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Dumb Blonde Podcast

Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: Shrimp in the Curtain Rod
Host: Bunnie XO, with co-hosts Haley and Jamie
Date: August 29, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of the Dumb Blonde Podcast dives deep into the wildest, most outrageous stories of revenge, confessions, and embarrassing moments as submitted by their fans. Bunnie XO and her co-hosts react to anonymous listener confessions about everything from pettiness in breakups to bodily mishaps, dishing out lots of laughter, disbelief, and candid commentary. The episode stays true to the podcast’s signature blend of realness, comedy, and unfiltered talk about relationships, trauma, and the many curveballs of life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Age, Friendship, and Nostalgia

Timestamps: 04:06 – 06:17

• Bunnie jokingly introduces the show with a cartoon callback to “Walla Walla, Washington,” much to the confusion of her co-hosts.
• The group reflects on their ages and how long they’ve known each other.
  • Bunnie: “How could I not remember that? That was, like, a huge part of my childhood.” (05:23)
  • Warm, nostalgic banter sets a playful tone for the episode.

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2. The Ultimate Revenge Stories

Timestamps: 06:17 – 17:48

Borrowed Dildo Discovery

• A listener confesses to finding and using their mom's dildo, only to realize it was a custom cast—most likely of their dad.
  • Bunnie (A): “Who in their right mind is going to steal their money from their mom and finds her dildo and thinks it’s okay to use the dildo?” (07:27)
  • Haley (C): “If there’s one dildo you never borrow in your life, it’s your mom’s.” (08:03)

Shrimp in the Curtain Rod

• Infamous revenge: stuffing raw shrimp in an ex’s curtain rod to leave a lingering, untraceable stench.
  • Haley (C): “I had a friend that stuffed fresh shrimp in her ex’s curtain rod.” (08:43)
  • Bunnie (A): “Imagine if it gets hot because the sun beaming down… it’s gonna ste–” (09:02)
  • Co-hosts agree: the level of creativity and cruelty is next-level.

The Stolen Prosthetic Leg

• A listener took her friend’s abuser’s prosthetic leg as payback while he slept.
  • Bunnie (A): “You took a limb from that man.” (10:26)
  • Haley (C): “But shouldn’t have been an abuser.” (10:27)

WhatsApp Sabotage

• Listener snitches on cheating boyfriend by sending embarrassing camping bathroom pics to his side chicks.

Coming Clean About "Toothbrush Crimes"

• Numerous stories involve pee, nair, and toothbrushes as vehicles of revenge.
  • Haley (C): “We both took turns peeing on her toothbrush. I’m not proud of it, but it did happen.” (15:25)
  • Discussion about the horror of toothbrush sabotage and bathroom germs.
  • Bunnie (A): “Did you know... your toothbrush, if it’s too close to the toilet, can collect poop particles?” (16:07)

Rapid-Fire Revenge: Hot Sauce in Contacts, Crickets in the House, Care Credit Cards

• Hot sauce in contact solution—potentially dangerous but undeniably creative.
• A listener uses her ex’s care credit card to pay for breast implants.
• One story involves releasing 1,000 live crickets in an ex’s home.
  • Bunnie (A): “I know. And they just sit there with their violins and just going off.” (23:11)
  • Group jokes about the cricket “banjo time” and the escalating chaos of these revenge tactics.

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3. Embarrassing Confessions

Timestamps: 11:54 – 15:14

The “Come Fart” Massage Incident

• A male confesses to ejaculating and farting uncontrollably during a professional massage.
  • “It was the most awkward and embarrassing moment of my life. Oh, and I wanted to die. I apologized quietly, legitimately, trying not to cry from embarrassment…” (12:26)
  • The gang riffs on the logistics of farting during orgasm, male bodily reactions, and personal experiences with awkward sex mishaps.

Premature Ejaculation: A Comforting Perspective

• Haley recalls comforting a young man who experienced premature ejaculation, reframing it as “they’re just really into you.”

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4. Sex as Motivation

Timestamps: 16:52 – 18:37

• A listener writes in about using morning sex to motivate her husband to get out of bed and be productive.
  • Bunnie (A): “I feel like she cracked the code.” (17:53)
• Hosts discuss whether morning sex actually energizes their respective partners.
  • Jamie (D): “If we get a little morning session, I will pop up out of bed. I’m freaking Wreck It Ralph just… concert.” (18:12)

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5. Lifestyle Tangents & Farm Life

Timestamps: 19:10 – 26:33

• Disneyland and thunderstorm detours: a brief, funny look at family stamina and the struggle of wet jeans and socks.
• Haley shares about her new mini-roosters whose kazoo-like crowing drives her family nuts.
  • Haley (C): “They sound like kazoos. And they start at 5am and they don’t stop till 7.” (23:53)
  • Group jokes about noisy animals and tolerant neighbors.
• Bizarre neighbor with a garage full of “cow sperm,” and the question of inseminating cows as rural absurdity.
  • Haley (C): “Our neighbor came to meet us and he said, ‘Hey, I got a bunch of cow sperm in my garage. Is your cow fixed?’” (25:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bunnie XO: “If there’s one dildo you never borrow in your life, it’s your mom’s.” (08:03)
• Haley: “You took a limb from that man... shouldn’t have been an abuser.” (10:26–10:27)
• Listener Confession: “It was the most awkward and embarrassing moment of my life. Oh, and I wanted to die.” (12:26)
• Bunnie XO: “I feel like she cracked the code.” (17:53 – on motivating a husband via morning sex)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:06 – 06:17: Childhood memories & team introductions
• 06:17 – 17:48: Listener revenge stories (dildo, shrimp, prosthetic leg, toothbrush, crickets)
• 11:54 – 15:14: Embarrassing sexual confessions & reactions
• 16:52 – 18:37: Sex as motivation in marriage
• 19:10 – 26:33: Tangents (Disneyland, wet clothes, farm antics, rural stories)

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Tone & Style

The episode is characterized by:

• Irreverent humor: No topic is too taboo; the group laughs through even the most shocking confessions.
• Authenticity: Hosts share their own stories and reactions, unafraid to be awkward or real.
• Quick banter: Exchanges are rapid-fire, playful, and loaded with off-the-cuff jokes.
• Supportive energy: Even wild stories are met with empathy and validation.

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Episode Takeaways

• Vengeance can be surprisingly creative, petty, and occasionally inspiring (but not to be imitated!)
• Bodily mishaps and sexual awkwardness happen to everyone, and laughing about them can be healing
• Even in chaos, a sense of humor helps everyone cope with the very real struggles of relationships and life

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“Ask. Tell. Confess” lives up to its name, serving hilariously unfiltered advice, stories, and support for anyone navigating life’s messiest moments!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

To ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Fords. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget. And everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblon podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats. Live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every frickin month. I'm talking like signed stuff from JNI Lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get. It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life. My writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Got to go.

[C]

Bye. Ask. Tell Confront. Ask to confess.

[A]

Hello, friends. Welcome to Walla Walla, Washington.

[C]

What?

[A]

Have you guys ever seen that freaking. You guys have never seen that cartoon where the guy's like, he's a cartoon salesman. He's like, Walla Walla, Washington.

[C]

New. I thought you were gonna say Walla Walla Bing Bang. Me too. I was going for that. I thought we were going for Greece.

[A]

Hold, please.

[C]

Oh, here it comes.

[A]

Please. How can you guys not know about this classic. God, did you guys have childhoods?

[C]

When was this?

[A]

That isn't the question. All right. How do you even spell Walla Walla Washington? Walla Walla Walla, Washington. A lot of dummies Washington cartoon.

[C]

Like my shoes. I really like it.

[A]

Here he is.

[C]

Oh, hey, sir. I represent the Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner company. You remember the weirdest part. All foreign particles from around the room. I realize that you may not be ready to purchase a Little Giant right now, but if you ever do Just remember the little giant vacuum cleaning company. That's crazy. That you would. You were. Remember that.

[A]

Okay, hold on.

[C]

What's happening?

[A]

God.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

How could I not remember that? That was, like, a huge part of my childhood. Okay, so anyways, how are you guys doing?

[C]

Great.

[A]

Since you guys want to judge me for Walla Walla Washington. Jaime, do you know about Walla Walla Washington?

[D]

I can't say that I do. That was my first time.

[A]

The youngest one in the room is the youngest.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How old are you?

[D]

I'm 29 now.

[A]

Haley, you're 20.

[C]

30.

[A]

You're 30 now. God, I keep thinking you're old.

[C]

I still think I'm, like, 24. 25. Crazy.

[A]

And I. You're 31. 31. Right.

[C]

I thought you're about to go. God, we've been together a long time.

[A]

Yeah, it's been a really long time.

[C]

I was 23, I think, when we got together.

[A]

Listen, we've been with you through all your golden years. All right, I'm gonna kick this one off, guys.

[C]

So we did it a little different this week. We did. We asked you instead of. You ask us. Yep.

[A]

We asked you guys to tell us some of you the weirdest you guys have done, so this one. All right, you guys ready?

[C]

You want to read the question of what we asked them?

[A]

Go ahead.

[C]

Okay. We just asked what the best revenge.

[A]

Yeah, pettiest.

[C]

The revenge. And you guys came out with some bangers.

[A]

All right. Once I found a dildo in my mom's sock drawer. Oh, it gets worse. While I was looking for money. So I borrowed it, and it was a pretty good ride, kind of thicker than what I'm used to. But anyway, when I finished, I was cleaning it off, and there was something etched into the side near the base. Turns out it was the name of one of those services that makes custom printed dildos of real life dicks. And I've been too scared to even think about whose it was, but it was probably my dad's. I shoved my dad's dick up my ass.

[C]

Why did we go straight for the ass?

[A]

Listen, that was a good one. That was a good one. I had to listen, first of all. Okay, put your dad's. Here's the thing, though. Who in their right mind is going to steal their money from their mom and finds her dildo and thinks it's okay to use the dildo?

[C]

Yeah, why are we skipping that part? Yeah, why did we borrow anything?

[A]

Yeah, like, that's your mom. So that's weird. Like, ew. If there's One dildo you never borrow in your life. It's your mom.

[C]

It's your mom's dildo.

[A]

Or your dad's if he has one too.

[C]

I get it. Yeah, we don't.

[A]

And obviously it wasn't one. It's a dildo, so. It wasn't a vibrator, so. It was action.

[C]

Movements, bro.

[A]

It was all action.

[C]

And we just went straight for the ass.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What do we take it off? Right, baby? All right. Okay.

[A]

Just like Lisa wasn't poop like Haley is always talking about.

[C]

Oh, let me just change my exact. My next one.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah, I am.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

Go ahead, Haley. Okay. Someone said this wasn't me, but then.

[A]

We know it was them.

[C]

I had a friend that stuffed fresh shrimp in her ex's curtain rod.

[A]

Oh, my God. That was one of my.

[C]

She left his house when she found out he was cheating. Then she peaced out. I can't even imagine what that house smelled like afterwards. How do you find that?

[A]

How smart are you to shove shrimp? And the curtain.

[C]

You're never gonna find that.

[A]

And imagine if it gets hot because the sun beaming down on the hot showers.

[C]

It's gonna ste.

[A]

Oh, she didn't say shower rod. She said curtain rod, baby.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So like those right there above the window.

[C]

Imagine in like your bedroom or something. Bye. Yeah. Can't find the smell.

[A]

And trying to just light a candle and mask that smell. Like, how could you even, like, get intimate with anybody when your house smells like straight up badussy.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[C]

No, I do know what you're saying.

[A]

That's the greatest part.

[C]

That's rough, dude. Like, okay, I think that's great.

[A]

I thought it was good.

[C]

All right. Picked up my sister in law when she left her abuser, he was asleep, so I took his prosthetic leg. All right.

[A]

I mean, that's pretty good. That's pretty gangster. I love that. I love that you're. First of all, first of all, like, the fact that she could even think to take his prosthetic leg, like, that's funny. You're on a different level Funny as you're on a different level of petty. A different leg to make that man have to get up and hobble out of bed. Like, that dude had to hop around and think about his life decisions, bro.

[C]

And those things are expensive. Like, yeah, those things are expensive. You took a limb from that man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. But shouldn't have been an abuser.

[A]

Karma's a. Yeah, exactly. You shouldn't be Beating women up. You're lucky you still have your other leg, bruh. Go ahead, you go again, Haley.

[C]

Oh, Jesus. Okay, this one. This one's short, but apparently she said he left his WhatsApp open on his phone, so I sent his side chicks a picture of him chatting in a bucket while camping.

[A]

People are crazy.

[C]

That was the one I was gonna open with, but I like you. Switch it up. You gave. A little switcheroo. Yeah.

[A]

Surprise are straight up insane.

[C]

You know, I've camped a lot in my life. Never shat in a bucket. I've never camped. Excuse me. What?

[A]

You've never camped?

[C]

Have you never gone camping? No.

[D]

Imagine hating at a campsite.

[C]

No, guys. No. Sounds miserable. Unless we are in a camper. Yeah. I'm not in a sleeping bag in a 10. Wind. She's literally outside. What's that?

[D]

What's that? It's the wind.

[C]

It's just the wind. No, she's like, there's a bug on me. I'm out.

[D]

Yeah, we're in their home.

[C]

Get away from me. Why is this happening? I would never take you camping. I love you, but I would never take you camping.

[A]

You'd be terrible.

[C]

Please don't. Because, I mean, I'm not going anyway. She said, even if you invite me. Even if there's a fire.

[A]

Terrible. All right, you ready?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I've never had a massage before, but I got a gift card over the holidays, so I decided to use it and booked an appointment. The masseuse was an incredibly attractive and fit woman. I tried to relax and enjoy it, but once she started rubbing my thighs without thinking about it, I got incredibly hard.

[C]

Oh, it's a guy.

[A]

Then she started rubbing my lower back, and it felt incredible. It was really awkward because I was trying to ignore how hard I was. Suddenly, it felt even better and my dick started throbbing, and immediately I started coming hard. So hard.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

That I accidentally let out a fart while coming. It was the most awkward and embarrassing moment of my life. Oh, and I wanted to die. I apologized quietly, legitimately, trying not to cry from embarrassment. She said it was okay and just to clean up with the towel and grab another one. And she'd be back in a few minutes. I did, and she finished the last 15 minutes or so of the massage while both of us never said a word.

[D]

Come fart.

[A]

Have you ever farted while coming?

[D]

No. I'm thinking about it.

[C]

No.

[A]

I would feel like your muscles would be so tense, right?

[C]

Like it would hold it in.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I bet you it was squeaky. Then slipped out.

[A]

Oh, what if it was one of those hot ones that just.

[C]

Yeah, and your pops at, like, just so bad.

[A]

But like, bro, get a hold of yourself. Dude, like, you, I can. Men can control, right?

[D]

A fart?

[A]

Yeah, not a fart, but when you come. Not a fart, but like, when you come, right.

[D]

For the most part, yes, for the most part. Contact with the area directly. I'm not sure why he reached completion.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, but also, some dudes can come. Can come with no hands. I've seen it before.

[C]

Yeah, I unbutton his pants.

[A]

Yeah, some dudes can come just at, like, the thought of things.

[C]

He really liked me.

[A]

Tell us the story.

[C]

That was it. That was.

[A]

Was that the one that you were banging in the truck?

[C]

No, no, no. This was like. This was like 2017, 2018. Haley. Yeah. No. Oh, just. All right. Okay.

[A]

You've never had a guy premature ejaculate?

[C]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

Tell us a story.

[C]

I mean, there's not much to the story. It was like, oh, well, there it is. Just a wet spot. I'm going to go home now. What are we going to do now? You know, it's one of those. I kicked him out. Well, I was like a teenager at the time.

[A]

Did you really kick him out?

[C]

Did you not because of that. I kind of feel like it was. I mean, but it got so awkward after that, that I was just like.

[A]

I mean, like, what do you say to somebody?

[C]

I. I comforted the guy. I was like, oh, it's okay. Like, it happens. Nope.

[D]

Yeah, it definitely is a. Like. Like, it does happen, but just know it's a term of like, they're really into you. I mean, you know, it definitely happened where you're like, oh, it happened. And then you get too excited. I think I must have been excited.

[C]

So, I mean, he wanted to go. It's kind of like wagging a tail, you know, dogs get really excited. Men get really excited. They just can't think about.

[A]

I mean, but shooting a load and wagging a tail are two different things.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know. I kind of feel like they're the same.

[A]

A lot of bodily fluid.

[D]

Like, I wonder what. Was there, like, a space of time between the common fart?

[C]

Or was it like.

[A]

Was it like spontaneous combustion? I don't know.

[C]

Go ahead, Memes. This one said my bestie had some put Nair in her hair conditioner at her boyfriend's house. Thankfully, she has super thick hair, so we both took turns peeing on her toothbrush. I'm not proud of it. But it did happen.

[A]

Golly.

[C]

The amount of toothbrush stuff I read you guys. Yeah. Was a little. It makes me scared by me. No one's around my toothbrush. But I think back in my past about, like, when I used to live with people and what they get it out of my toothbrush.

[A]

H. I would freak out if I found out somebody did something to my toothbrush. That's wild. Did you know that your toothbrush, if it's too close to the toilet in your bathroom, can collect poop particles?

[C]

So I always shut my toilet when I flush it. Yep.

[A]

So a lot of the majority of America Is literally brushing their teeth with poop particles.

[C]

Yep. All right. You want your lid. I know, but, like, mine's in, like, my toilet's in a room. Sorry, we're not all rich. Mine's not separated. I swear. I came from the bottom. Now I'm here. I forgot about that crazy. Your toilet has a separate room. Okay. Got mine. Not mine. Okay.

[A]

Is it my turn?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

All right, Here we go. I've manipulated my husband strategically, sleeping with him for more than 20 years. I've been married for going on 30 years. Many, many years ago, I realized that on weekends, if I got up in the morning and did whatever I needed to do, made breakfast, took care of kids, cleaned, etc, My husband would just stay in bed all day and watch tv. If I wanted to take the kids somewhere or suggested we go shopping or hiking or hang out with friends or literally anything, my husband would just say, he's worked hard all week and he wants to relax. So we'd do nothing all weekend long. But if I started the morning off by sleeping with him, shortly after we were done, he'd get up and take a shower and be ready to conquer the world. So if I want to have a lazy day at home, I get up and do whatever I want. But if I want to go do something, I sleep with him first thing in the morning. And I know I'm intentionally manipulating him, and I don't actually care because I feel like he's getting what he wants, and so am I. Wow. I like that sounds like a happy marriage.

[C]

I feel like that was very much like you found a common ground.

[A]

I feel like she cracked the code. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have. My husband doesn't work like that. I sleep. If I fudge my husband in the morning, he's going back to bed. He does not get a burst of energy. He fudgeing will roll over and saw logs. Jaime, you do. You get a Burst of energy, honestly.

[D]

Yeah. You know, if we get a little morning session, I will pop up out of bed. I'm freaking Wreck It Ralph just concert.

[A]

You got a little sprinkle free workout.

[D]

Yeah, I'll show you.

[C]

Workout is Brooke.

[D]

Yeah. I'm like, brooke, you want me to go get coffee? I never get coffee. You want to go get coffee? Like, I'm just very.

[A]

Whatever you want to do, honey.

[D]

It's very, like. Yeah. Once I get that off the list, it's like, well, what else can I do?

[C]

Off the list is crazy.

[A]

Okay, Brooke, now we know how to get him out of. Of bed. Not my husband. That would never work.

[C]

What about you? Jason's are ready to go. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. Yeah, Jason. Jason's got a lot of energy. You guys both together have a lot of energy.

[C]

It's kind of crazy. Like, we're very. Well. Yeah. My mornings, I do my best to try to, like, hang for a second in bed and then catch up on emails and, like, do those kind of things. But, like, if it's one of those days where it's like, hey, get out of bed and go. It's like you're literally out of the house within 20 minutes and starting your day.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We don't stop. Yeah.

[A]

No, you guys go. I mean, obviously, when we went to Disneyland, I tapped out at like, 3pm you were there until it was like, ready to go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

So ready. Thunderstorm in spongebob's castle thing, and he was like, ready to go, guys. Yeah.

[A]

Anytime you guys want to leave, let's go. We would keep checking live360, and I'm like, those are still there. Like, that's crazy.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, we all know that's my other child, so I was trying to please the children. I was ready, like, early in morning till whenever they tapped out. And I. I honestly have to say, if the thunderstorm hadn't happened, we probably would have longer. Yeah, we would have gone till close. We really wanted to meet Shrek. Yeah, that didn't happen.

[D]

My socks did get wet. That was my only problem.

[C]

I get it.

[D]

Wet socks.

[A]

I hate wet socks. I will punch somebody if I have to wear wet socks or wet jeans.

[C]

Is the worst. And they're heavy. Oh.

[A]

Like, have you ever tried to swim in jeans and take them off? It's. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. It's hard.

[A]

I can tell you've been through it. I made. Yeah. No, it's rough, dude. The. I don't know why I was wet with jeans on, but it's happened before and it's just not a good feeling.

[C]

I just don't like wet clothes.

[A]

They're so heavy.

[C]

She saved the day though. She bought us all. She spent like a hundred dollars on ponchos.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And we all had Harry Potter ponchos. Yeah. As we try to make it out of the place. Because the day before I did not get a poncho and we got stuck in a thunderstorm and that was rough. I was soaking wet. Just like tromping through Disney.

[A]

We got everything. But didn't we get ponchos in the pack? Backpacks.

[C]

I thought for the kids.

[A]

For the kids.

[C]

Adult sizes are different.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, gotcha. You couldn't just put it over your head?

[C]

No.

[A]

I have a few.

[C]

Rapid fire. Okay, rapid fire. Go. All right, rapid fire. One girl put hot sauce in his contact solution and left. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he probably saw that. Unless it was.

[C]

Maybe not.

[A]

Unless it was the Claire jalapeno kind.

[C]

Maybe not though. If his contacts are in there and he can't see.

[A]

Okay, listen, I just want to. I just want to give a discussion disclaimer. Guys, do not do any of this at home, please. These are some really good ideas and I'm going to save them for later on if I ever need to use them. But do. What is it? Don't. What is it? Don't do like me.

[C]

What is it? Do as I do.

[A]

As I say, not as I do.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

No. One of them. I saw this girl was like, I still had his care credit card after we split. Cuz he cheated. And so I bought myself a pair of tits. I was like, okay, honey.

[A]

I mean, I mean this girl sister.

[C]

Bought a thousand live crickets and let them go in her ex's house after found out he cheated.

[D]

We will be charging that on the patreon. That'll be $1,000,000.

[C]

Now we are cutting that out.

[A]

Jason. We are cutting that out. Or bleep it actually make it sound like sweet music that comes out. My tummy hurts. I took antibiotics and ate a 10 ounce steak. I'm feel like I'm gonna puke right now. I'm going through it over here, guys. Struggling to get through classical music.

[C]

The fact that I was mid reading and I saw you, I saw you lean over. I was like, should I just stop?

[A]

As cell confess has become so unhinged.

[C]

Literally so unhinged.

[A]

You guys. I'm sorry. If you guys really wanted good content, we're trying to. We're trying to deliver I her. All right, go ahead.

[C]

Haley, it was beautiful. You want me to reread it?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. This girl bought a thousand live crickets and let them go in her ex's house after she found out that he cheated a thousand. You can't find those.

[A]

I know, right? I know. And they just sit there with their violins and just going off.

[C]

Tiny feet. Violins, bro.

[A]

No, no. But crickets are good luck. I would have put roaches.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Not crickets. Crickets are good luck.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of money makes me want.

[C]

To punch people hearing crickets. Yeah.

[A]

Unless they're outside.

[C]

Yeah. If it's a beautiful night, you're late, like, sitting out.

[A]

But if you're trying to go to sleep and they're in the corner just having a banjo time.

[C]

No, thank you. Makes me literally so angry. I. I got these new chickens, and they're miniature roosters. So when they crow, they sound like kazoos. And they start at 5am and they don't stop till 7.

[A]

I mean, that's your fault.

[C]

It is.

[A]

You did that to yourself, sister.

[C]

It is.

[A]

They're cool looking, but that them a.

[C]

Little further away from the house, I.

[A]

Would be throwing shoes out the window. There's no way, dude.

[C]

Yeah, we have four of them. Oh.

[A]

And they all four go off.

[C]

So they have, like, competitions with the bigger ones.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

So it's like the. They. One of them will kazoo, and then the. The large roosters will.

[A]

When you say kazoo, what does it sound?

[C]

Actual kazoo play. It sounds like a real kazoo. Like, I don't have it. I don't have it on my phone.

[A]

But, like, find one on YouTube, because I've only.

[C]

Isn't it like. No, no. Like a kazoo is like.

[A]

Like that, right? Like that noise.

[D]

You did pretty good.

[C]

That was. Yeah, that was good. Way more spot on. That was great.

[A]

I watched a lot of cartoons. The hell? That sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

[C]

I hate that. Oh, why is it getting higher pitched?

[A]

No way.

[C]

And so they're like. Yeah, they sound.

[A]

Kill them all that. Your neighbors probably hate you.

[C]

My neighbors actually love all my animals.

[A]

They tell you that we come outside and BB gun shot to the head. These are gonna be taken out like targets that if my neighbors had. No, there's no way. I can't do it.

[C]

We live in the country, though. I feel like it's expected.

[A]

You have neighbors. Where's your closest neighbor? Literally, they're old.

[C]

They can't hear. Oh. If I had hearing aids, it's the same one that offered me cow. Come cow. Come on. Yeah, he's got a garage full of it.

[A]

Cow come?

[C]

Yep. Yeah.

[A]

I've never heard this story.

[C]

Oh, continue. Yeah, our neighbor came to meet us and he said, hey, I got a bunch of cow sperm in my garage. Is your cow fixed? I said, it's a steer. And he said, darn, I've got a bunch of cow come that I got from a friend. I would like to know how the.

[A]

Friend and I want to know what the cows look like. I'm just not going to inseminate my.

[C]

Cow with your cow.

[A]

No, I wasn't. I need to see the parents. Imagine it's his own.

[C]

I wasn't. He just really wants to see a cow. Human.

[A]

On that note, we're leaving. See you guys next week.

[C]

Goodbye.