Ask, Tell, Confess: The Most Explicit Confessions We’ve Had

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde – "Ask, Tell, Confess: The Most Explicit Confessions We’ve Had"

Host: Bunnie XO
Date: February 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this raucous and candid episode, the Dumb Blonde crew—led by Bunnie XO and joined by Mimi, Haley, and Jaime—dive into the wildest, most explicit confessions sent by fans. Balancing humor, shock, and real talk, the hosts read and react to stories about secret habits, pranks, sex, dating misadventures, and deeply personal curiosities. Each confession brings unfiltered commentary, belly laughs, and the group’s signature supportive vibe. The episode swings from hilarious to heartfelt to “OMG, did they just say that?”, making it a therapy session, group chat, and comedy show all in one.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reflecting on Sharon Osborne Interview and Life Parallels

(03:00–05:00)

• Bunnie and team gush over a recent interview with Sharon Osborne, calling it “probably, hands down, my favorite podcast we’ve ever done” (Mimi, 03:31).
• Christina shares, “Her love for Ozzy reminds me so much of my love for my husband” (Christina, 04:00), highlighting connections between guests’ lives and her own.

2. How to Submit Confessions and Podcast Updates

(04:22–05:00)

• Instructions for listeners: Subscribe to the XO Club on YouTube for uncensored confession submissions. Mimi also mentions the Facebook group.
• Christina previews the Grammy nominations drama, teasing that her husband (Jelly Roll) could be an unexpected winner and predicting, “I sleep with the source. So, it’s like I’m plugged into it, you know?” (Christina, 05:42).

3. Wild Listener Confessions Begin: Workplace Masturbation Gone Awry

(06:35–09:00)

• Christina reads a female listener’s confession about returning to a porn habit and secretly masturbating at work, including a peeping incident via scratched glass in bathroom stalls.
• “You’re going to the bathroom to take a dump and somebody’s flicking the bean right next to you. How you feeling?” (Christina, 08:56)
• Group debates: Is it less creepy if the perpetrator is female? Mixed answers, but all agree it’s unsettling and crosses boundaries.

4. Privacy Violations & Bathroom Anxieties

(14:49–18:22)

• Christina shares a story of being filmed over a tanning booth wall. Mimi recounts a detective busting a bathroom voyeur with hidden cameras disguised as toilet parts.
• “You feel so violated… I couldn’t imagine. When you’re taking a dump or even going pee, you are so vulnerable.” (Christina, 16:08)

5. Prank Gone Wrong: Special Ingredient in the Fritos

(18:29–19:53)

• Listener confesses to putting a toenail in their brother’s Fritos as revenge for eating her food. He eats it and later gets a throat infection.
• The team debates the grossness and morality of tampering with food.
• “You don’t mess with people’s food, you know?” (Christina, 19:34)

6. Embarrassing Purchases at the Store

(20:37–22:09)

• Confession about two brothers awkwardly buying cucumbers and Vaseline for their mom’s post-tattoo swelling, receiving judgmental stares.
• “This is why I only do self-checkout. Because of people like you.” (Haley, 21:26)
• The hosts trade stories of their own weird shopping lists—vibrators, almond milk, and more.

7. Explicit Masturbation Confession: Double Climax and Self-Swallow

(25:58–29:54)

• The most graphic admission so far: a detailed play-by-play of a man’s marathon masturbation session, self-aimed climax, and new kink discovery.
• Christina reads explicit details, often interrupted by laughter, cringing, and mock-serious analysis.
• “Swallowed everything that landed in my mouth and licked my lips... I think I’ve unlocked a new kink.” (Listener confession, read by Christina, 27:39–29:24)
• Haley jokes, “Imagine taking a shot every time she said cock.” (Haley, 29:28)

8. Language and Sexual Slang Origins

(31:02–32:46)

• A discussion about the words “cock,” “dick,” and comfort levels with sexual terminology.
• AI assistant Sunny explains “cock” comes from Old English, referring to a rooster’s proud posture.
• “Language loves its cheeky turns and, well, that metaphor stuck around.” (Sunny, 31:50)

9. Dating Fails and Catfish Disasters

(35:00–40:26)

• Listener’s Tinder date goes south: she’s 100 lbs heavier, place is messy, bug on the floor is dismissed as “a fuzzy.”
• The group recalls their own catfish stories—including one accidental meeting with the wrong contact and a former hookup with a now-famous influencer.
• “I show up and I’m like, that’s not him… realized halfway through talking to him and I think he realized that I didn’t mean to text him.” (Haley, 37:35)
• Christina shares about DMing and actually meeting a rapper through MySpace, in contrast to catfish fails.

10. Unbearable Female Horniness: Is There a Cure?

(41:00–43:21)

• A 24-year-old female confesses desperate, constant horniness despite being a virgin: “It barely touches how desperate my body feels… my clit throbs and my clench at the slightest turn on.”
• Hosts discuss hormones, cycles, “maybe she has the testosterone of a UFC fighter” (Mimi, 43:10), and assure her it’s normal if not harmful.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On confession details:
  “We asked for details. And you guys… you guys. Details.”
  — Haley (29:51)

• On bathroom privacy:
  “You’re going to the bathroom to take a dump and somebody’s flicking the bean right next to you. How you feeling?”
  — Christina (08:56)

• On shopping embarrassment:
  “Vibrators and true fruit. Like literally. It literally is an almond milk, you guys.”
  — Christina (21:40)

• On food pranks:
  “You don’t mess with people’s food, you know?”
  — Christina (19:34)

• On sexual vocabulary discomfort:
  “I don’t like the word [cock]… I don’t even like the P word.”
  — Haley (30:58)

---

Notable Segment Timestamps

• 03:31: Reflections on Sharon Osborne podcast
• 06:36: Explicit bathroom confession—workplace masturbation
• 14:49: Christina’s tanning salon voyeur story
• 18:29: Toenail revenge confession
• 20:37: Cucumber and Vaseline embarrassment
• 25:58: Marathon edging and self-swallow confession
• 35:00: Catfish and Tinder disasters
• 41:00: Extreme female horniness confession

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Tone & Style

• The episode is extremely candid, consistently hilarious, and at times, jaw-droppingly explicit.
• Hosts riff off each other in an unscripted, group-chat style, making jokes but offering thoughtful reassurance when needed.
• They oscillate between raucous, supportive, and occasionally educational—especially when talking about boundaries, consent, and sexual health.

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For New Listeners

If you love unfiltered girl talk mixed with raunch, absurdity, and surprising vulnerability, this episode is a ride. It’s NSFW, packed with wild stories and plenty of laughs, but always with heart. You’ll get honest takes on taboo secrets, hilarious shopping shame, tales of betrayal and redemption, and real talk about all the weirdness life (and listeners) throw at us.

Transcript

[Christina P]

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[Haley]

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[Sponsor Voice]

Ask, tell, Confess.

[Mimi]

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess.

[Christina P]

Hello friends. Welcome to another ask.

[Mimi]

That was nice.

[Christina P]

That was good, right? A little bravado.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

A little creek.

[Christina P]

It's called Little Creek.

[Mimi]

Oh wow.

[Christina P]

We can get some creed. Can you? Who can out Creed. Creed.

[Haley]

I think you can. If there's anyone in team, there's anyone.

[Christina P]

We need you on the podcast, please, so that we can have a creed off. All right.

[Mimi]

Off is wild A creed fest.

[Christina P]

You guys, I just left the gym. I have had. We. Let me not take all the credit. We have all had the longest freaking days in L. A. We're in L. A Right now. It's been wild. We have done some really cool shit. But I've got to say that sitting down with Sharon Osborne for two hours is probably the coolest fudgeing thing in the world. And she's my goth dolly dude. I love her dolly. Yeah. Literally, like, the same. But Sharon's a fucking badass, dude. Like, I can't wait for you guys to hear this podcast. It was so good. And she just. What a woman.

[Mimi]

Probably, hands down, my favorite podcast we've ever done.

[Haley]

I cried.

[Christina P]

No, she was good a lot.

[Mimi]

I cried so much.

[Christina P]

I know. I was so nervous. I couldn't cry, but I should have cried, But I was just so in the moment and just nervous. I kept hugging her because I just.

[Mimi]

I can't.

[Christina P]

I cannot let anybody.

[Mimi]

But I saw it in your eyes. Like, you know when someone's, like, literally holding back everything they have?

[Christina P]

That was you.

[Mimi]

You were just like, you know, like, don't let my makeup smear kind of moment.

[Christina P]

No. My heart just broke for her, man. She's just such an amazing woman. And her love for Ozzy reminds me so much of my love for my husband.

[Mimi]

And you guys have a lot of parallels.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah, a lot. If I get. If I could be like anybody when I grow up, I want to be like Sharon Osborne, because that bitch.

[Mimi]

Dope.

[Christina P]

Yeah, she's dope. All right, well, we're in LA and we are doing Ask, Talk, and Fest.

[Sponsor Voice]

And you guys have been sending them in.

[Christina P]

A lot of people ask me, how do you submit for Ask, Talk and Fest? Go to our YouTube and subscribe to the XO Club. That is the easiest way to do it. We have a Facebook group. I. You can go over there if you want. Mimi runs that. I don't know what the hell goes on in there. But we. We have a Facebook group on the dumb blonde podcast. Facebook that you can also subscribe to. But I'm telling you right now, just do subscribe on YouTube because you get the pods uncensored, so ad free.

[Mimi]

Uncensored.

[Christina P]

Ad free. Uncensored. US in all of our glory. Daddy's nominated for three Grammys. I think we're bringing home one for sure. I think it might be a little Grammy upset. I don't know. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see. I think people are Gonna think some. A certain person is getting a Grammy and then it's really my husband and I think it's gonna cause a whole ruckus and I'm here for it. Can't wait. These are just my predictions. I could be completely wrong.

[Mimi]

But I feel like normally you're right, though.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Yeah, we'll see. I've been a little off with the. It's hard because I'm so close to the source. You, you know, so it's hard to like judge it, but you know what I'm saying?

[Mimi]

She says I sleep with the source.

[Christina P]

Yeah, I sleep with the source. So it's like I'm plugged into it, you know, so it's hard to be. He's plugged into you. He's plugged into you.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I will receive it at any time.

[Mimi]

Okay. All right. On that note, sorry.

[Christina P]

He's so hot. This a good looking guy. I was watching him today in the studio and I was just like. I would have sucked him off right there, but a lot of people in there.

[Haley]

All right.

[Sponsor Voice]

Got weird, huh?

[Christina P]

That would have got weird.

[Haley]

Awkward.

[Christina P]

I know, I know. Well, you guys, I've got some really. Listen, I want to get the men delivered this week.

[Mimi]

The men delivered. Boys, you delivered?

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Wow. What is happening? A lot of tongue action.

[Christina P]

Yeah, the men delivered. So I'm going to kick it off. And it only gets weirder from here.

[Mimi]

I was giggling to myself reading through these.

[Christina P]

I entered a new job a few weeks ago, one I had been avoiding desperately for a long time. But due to financial problems with my family, I was forced to take it simultaneously. I also had a relapse with porn. With a porn addiction I thought I'd gotten rid of. Often I used my lunch breaks to watch porn in the restrooms and masturbate. Maybe it's the stress, anxiety, or maybe it's just for the. The thrills. I don't know.

[Mimi]

He's just whacking off in the bathroom.

[Christina P]

Just whacking off at work, in the bathroom. It's all business.

[Sponsor Voice]

It gets better.

[Christina P]

It gets better. I don't know whose idea it was to make the walls dividing the stalls.

[Sponsor Voice]

Out of glass plastered with cheap plastic.

[Christina P]

Last week I noticed there are several scratches on the plastic, making little holes that allow you to peep into the next stall. Since then, I have been fighting the.

[Sponsor Voice]

Urge to peep in.

[Christina P]

There was never someone there, but I still felt anxious about it. Today there actually was someone there for the first time. Even before leaving my desk, I'd told myself I wouldn't even consider the idea that I would just do the usual. But as soon as I saw that girl enter, I. I gave in. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking, but I still touched myself. When I saw her ass after coming, I felt like immediately. I can't believe I went through with it. And even hours after the fact, I'm still in shock and disappointed at myself.

[Haley]

Is this a girl talking or a guy?

[Christina P]

It could be a community bathroom. I'm not sure. I don't know. They didn't give me those details. Let me check again. Let me. Let me make sure. Hold on. Because I deleted it after I read it.

[Mimi]

Oh, God.

[Christina P]

That one's rough, right?

[Mimi]

All right.

[Christina P]

Mimi said. All right.

[Mimi]

I'm so confused. You literally have a desk job and you're whacking.

[Christina P]

It's a female. So it's another female. Does that make it better?

[Mimi]

A little.

[Christina P]

No. No, it doesn't. No.

[Haley]

Just because I feel. I don't know, with a man. Hey, lady.

[Christina P]

You're going to the bathroom to take a dump and somebody's flicking the bean right next to you. How you feeling?

[Haley]

I'd rather have a girl flicking the bean than a guy jacking off, to be honest.

[Christina P]

So creepy.

[Haley]

Oh, I'm not saying it's not weird.

[Christina P]

Let me see somebody sticking their eyeball through. Okay, I'm gonna poke. I'll get an ice pick and shove it through. Like, that's crazy.

[Mimi]

You're going to watch me poo and just flick the bean?

[Christina P]

Just. Just. And I mean, are we not using a vibrator?

[Mimi]

Are we going to flick a.

[Christina P]

That's crazy.

[Haley]

Go.

[Christina P]

No, I can't do that, bro. Acoustic strumming. The old.

[Haley]

Is that how you would do it? It's too slow.

[Jaime]

I was thinking about doing like a guitar like this.

[Christina P]

No, girls, not so wide.

[Haley]

Not that big.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Whose pussy is doing this? Jaime, Every friend group has that person.

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[Christina P]

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[Christina P]

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[Christina P]

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[Christina P]

There a camera on Jaime? Cuz the action that he's making right now is say hey Jaime, you have a girlfriend. How do you play with her now?

[Mimi]

Is that what you do to her?

[Jaime]

You want to?

[Haley]

Yeah, do it.

[Jaime]

Break it down.

[Haley]

Yeah. Yes.

[Christina P]

Well, talk loud.

[Jaime]

Got a shower first. Myself, not her. I don't really care. I kind of like a little musk, you know, I don't.

[Christina P]

I don't mind.

[Mimi]

He's says musk.

[Christina P]

I love it.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

And why do guys like that?

[Haley]

I don't.

[Christina P]

You know, maybe it's the pheromones, I.

[Jaime]

Think so there's a certain scent that comes off of.

[Haley]

It's like.

[Christina P]

Animalistic.

[Mint Mobile Rep]

Yes.

[Jaime]

Where I'm just like. I'm in there.

[Christina P]

Yeah. Like a cat.

[Mint Mobile Rep]

But.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

I don't really remember how I do my hands and stuff, but I do make sure. That's rule number one. Make sure they're clean. Hands are clean.

[Mimi]

Good job.

[Mint Mobile Rep]

Always.

[Jaime]

And then you got to definitely work on the outside than inside.

[Christina P]

Okay. But how are you doing it? Because the way you were strumming the banjo was crazy.

[Jaime]

I was thinking if I were to strum it like a guitar, that's why I was holding it like this.

[Christina P]

I was like, why is it so wide? Have you ever seen a girl play with herself?

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Sunny (AI Assistant)]

Okay.

[Christina P]

She's not strumming the. Yeah, we're not going like this.

[Jaime]

Yeah, no, no, it's more like a. Yeah.

[Christina P]

Keep the hands more like a.

[Haley]

There you go.

[Christina P]

There you go, there you go, there you go. So, yeah, it's creepy as. And you should feel bad because you're literally doing something illegal.

[Mimi]

I didn't like that.

[Christina P]

I didn't like it either. Now when I'm in the bathroom, I'm checking for everything. Like, you know what happened to me one time.

[Haley]

You guys, face.

[Mimi]

I never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.

[Christina P]

I went to a tanning salon one time, and this is when I used to use regular beds. So you know how regular beds are all out in the open?

[Haley]

What? Huh?

[Christina P]

So you know how they're like open. Spray tans are closed.

[Mimi]

But yeah.

[Christina P]

Ones.

[Haley]

I thought you meant the beds were just sitting out in the open.

[Mimi]

No, no, no.

[Christina P]

So like, the ones that you stand in. Because I never laid on them because I didn't want the ass cheek crease. Yeah. And just didn't want to sit in. People sweat. So I did a standing one. And I'm literally in there just dancing around. And I look up and somebody has their camera over the wall filming me. I literally booked it out of there and lost my. At the front desk, I'm telling you. And nobody would admit to it.

[Mimi]

I know you didn't beat them up.

[Haley]

Oh, I would.

[Christina P]

I mean, what. What can you really do? You know?

[Mimi]

I would have taken all of their cell phones.

[Christina P]

This was so long ago. So it was just like. It was. It was. Cell phones came out.

[Haley]

I was gonna say. How long ago?

[Mimi]

It was like a brick over there.

[Christina P]

Yeah, yeah. No, a flip. A Sidekick. It was like a real phone. It was the Sprint ones that you slide up. I don't know if you guys remember those, but.

[Mimi]

Yeah, I do.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

That's wild.

[Haley]

Crazy. Yeah.

[Christina P]

But you feel so violated. Violated when somebody does something like that. So I. I couldn't imagine when you're taking a dump or even going pee, you are so vulnerable. Like, I don't even let my husband watch the.

[Haley]

Why are the cracks and stall doors like this?

[Christina P]

Oh, I hate it. And you make eye contact with people coming in to wash their hands and. Yeah.

[Haley]

There's this one airport that has the best bathrooms ever. And they close completely. Yeah. Top to bottom.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Haley]

You're private. Yeah.

[Mimi]

I had a client who was a detective in middle Tennessee. She told me that they busted a dude with footage from local bathrooms all through middle Tennessee. What the Is it put cameras where the toilet flushes in the back. So like an automatic one. Okay. He was mounting cameras there, Right. So all his footage was of people, like, pulling their pants down and sitting down. And that was his shtick. He would also plant cameras in hotel rooms, and he would stay in the hotel room next to it and put the camera through to that hotel room.

[Christina P]

I would feel so creepy.

[Mimi]

That's how he got caught, is someone found the camera and they traced it to him. And when they seized all his stuff, all his footage was like. It was this cap. He. Which she showed me a picture of it. It was a cap he would put on the back of the toilets. And so it looks like it's part of one of those, like, automatic flushers. It's a little camera.

[Haley]

I'm about to take toilet paper and just cover every back of a toilet.

[Mimi]

That's what you get around the whole stall. So be it. That's your fault for getting up. Pov.

[Christina P]

Yeah, I'm just gonna take a tent.

[Haley]

With me in the bathroom.

[Christina P]

Do they like watching people just go to the bathroom? That was their king. It wasn't even, like, the crack sitting down. It was just the action.

[Mimi]

I don't know.

[Haley]

Well, you wouldn't see anything. Yeah. Because once you're sitting. Well, unless you're hovering.

[Christina P]

I mean, listen, you can see the. From the back.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Some Girls got that little gap, and you can. You know, I'm not one of them, but, you know, he's re thinking her like crazy right now.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Christina P]

All right. Moving on. Who's next? All right, I got some good ones, so you guys better be ready.

[Mimi]

Okay. All right. I put an old toenail that had fell off into a bag of Fritos and gave it to my brother. I was mad at my brother for eating my leftover ribs I made for myself, and I decided to prank him by giving him a bag of Fritos with an old toenail that had just fallen off from an injury. That dude munched those chips and said, that was good. Now he has a throat infection. I don't know if it was me.

[Christina P]

Now I have a throat infection. I don't know if it was me. Oh, my goodness gracious.

[Mimi]

Imagine chawing down on it.

[Christina P]

Do people not look at their food before they put it in their mouth?

[Haley]

It's gonna take way longer to chew than Frito. You wouldn't be sitting there thinking, like, yeah, but damn, this Fritos.

[Mimi]

What if it was one of the small toenails? Yeah, they get brittle.

[Christina P]

Mine are strong. Oh, yeah. I have strong ass toenails.

[Mimi]

No, if that was bacon somewhere falling off.

[Christina P]

I just. You don't mess with people's food, you know? Like, here it is.

[Mimi]

Ribs. I kind of get it.

[Christina P]

No, you. You don't do that to somebody. Okay.

[Mimi]

I would never. I just meant it kind of.

[Haley]

I would have done that to my brother.

[Christina P]

Ah.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Christina P]

No. That's why I won't let people cook for me.

[Haley]

You.

[Christina P]

I don't know what your kitchen looks like. I don't know what your intentions are. Nope.

[Mimi]

Yeah, I saw a funny ass thing on Tick Tock the other day, and the guy was like. He went into, like, a home that he had rented out, and he walked in, he's like, this is why you don't eat at potlucks. And the outside of the house looks so beautiful. And you walked inside, and it was, like, piled to the ceilings. All the dishes were, like, crusted. It was bad.

[Christina P]

Yeah. No, not into it. All right, Haley, you're next, baby.

[Mimi]

Trying to top that.

[Christina P]

Oh, I got. I got you. I promise. I got you.

[Haley]

My ex boyfriend's mom had her eye makeup tattooed on and sent her kids, who lived with her at the time, to the store for a couple things. It wasn't until my ex and his brother were in the checkout line receiving funny looks from the clerk that he realized that they were two lone men. Buying nothing but cucumbers and vaseline, which his mom wanted to soothe the swelling from her eyes. My ex panics and blurts out, no, it's okay. He's my brother.

[Christina P]

Oh, gosh.

[Mimi]

They received major crazy faces.

[Haley]

He just stopped talking. Figured there was nothing you could do to salvage the situation. Just accepted the judgment.

[Christina P]

That's hilarious.

[Mimi]

That's funny.

[Christina P]

That's funny. That's something I would do to, like, embarrass.

[Mimi]

I used to. I'll be honest. I was that person who judged what everybody bought when I was a checkout person at Walmart.

[Haley]

This is why I only do self checkout. Because no people like you.

[Christina P]

This is why I do Instacart. Nobody knows who's.

[Mimi]

There was some weird combinations.

[Christina P]

How do you think people feel when they're shopping for us while we're on the road?

[Haley]

We open vibrators and lemons.

[Christina P]

Literally. Vibrators and true fruit. Vibrators and true fruit. Like literally. It literally is an almond milk, you guys.

[Mimi]

We made Jaime go out and get the bag of vibrators the other day, and he told the guy, is this the. Oh, yeah. What'd you say?

[Jaime]

Something like, I checked to make sure what it was. I'm like, I'm gonna have so much fun.

[Haley]

He said, okay, yeah, play it. Roll that beautiful bean footage.

[Christina P]

Roll that beautiful bean footage. All right, who's ready for this next one?

[Mimi]

Top it.

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[Christina P]

Oh, let's go honey. You know I listen one thing about me, I'm not gonna brag if I don't got it. And I do. I have so many good ones I don't even know where to start.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh my hand.

[Mimi]

I don't know it's about to come out of her mouth. I don't know it's going to come out of her mouth.

[Christina P]

I don't know which one to Read. All right, this one's a little long, but this one's very long and explicit. So just hang on, guys.

[Haley]

As opposed to pegging. Okay.

[Christina P]

I was feeling really horny and had been watching MILF and big nipple porn and had been going from a semi to raging boner for close to two hours. Two hours I was in the living room. Isn't that called gooning? Like when you start when you're whacking off for that long, like having marathons. Right.

[Haley]

I think that's good. Goody in general is just.

[Mimi]

Just kind of playing with yourself. Yeah.

[Christina P]

I am beat off to bed and was watching CIM videos. I don't know what that means. Slowly stroking my. The thought of sucking my own really turned me on. But alas, I lack the flexibility. I have a reasonable length, six and a half inches and good girth, so I've been told. So I lubed up my. Folded a pillow in two and placed it under my butt and slowly stroked myself whilst looking at my gorgeous. Well, it is to me and watching porn compilations. Edging myself over and over, alternating between slow hard strokes and gently massaging around the tip. Getting turned on by the amazing techniques of the women, imagining it was my and they were working their talents on. And then it happened. I was just edging myself again with a tight grip. Slow stroking, pulling down to the base, squeezing harder. When Angela White shout out Angela White, we love you, baby. When Angela White was the next in my cli in the clip, my cock got harder. Watching her beautiful mouth devouring the cock, my hips started to buck involuntarily. I gripped the base of my cock. I'm sorry, I'm trying.

[Mimi]

Someone's getting off to this tonight.

[Haley]

The censored YouTube video is just gonna.

[Christina P]

Be beep beep beep. It's gonna be titled. I'm gonna title it the most explicit confession we've had.

[Sponsor Voice]

God, my cock.

[Christina P]

I heard of watching her beautiful. Blah blah. I gripped the base of my In a death grip, trying to hold back the mounting pressure. My pulsing. I couldn't stop it. My was pointing directly at my face and multiple jets of cum shot out, landing on my face and in my mouth and over my chest. I'm used to it on my chest and face. It's happened before. I was surprised how much got in my mouth. Wouldn't have happened if I had kept my mouth shut. But there I was, mouth open, tongue out. I swallowed everything that landed in my mouth and licked my lips to remove what landed on them. My cock remained hard. I wiped Myself down, lubed up again this time. This guy has stamina. All right. I wiped myself down, lubed up again, and this time stroking much faster. Really going to town on myself, watching the pace of the video. This time, when I felt I was going to come, I just focused on my cock, listening to the starlet slurping and moaning on the cock. My mouth open, tongue out. I raised my hips and moved my head as close as I could and came again hard. It felt good. My aim wasn't great, but managed to get some in my mouth again. I moved what landed on my chin into my mouth and rubbed what landed on my chest into my skin. I'm laying cover in sweat and my own cum. I think I've unlocked a new kink.

[Mimi]

I feel like I should have paid to have heard that.

[Haley]

Imagine taking a shot every time she said cock.

[Mimi]

It'd be so dark out. Like, you take a shot of his coffee, I take a shot of punches his cup.

[Christina P]

Thank you, guys.

[Mimi]

Thank you.

[Christina P]

We asked for details. And you guys.

[Haley]

You guys. Details.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

All right.

[Christina P]

I'm good.

[Haley]

Between that and Christina's. Let's put it in the middle.

[Christina P]

Yeah, just. Haley said not so much.

[Haley]

Yeah, tone it, don't it.

[Christina P]

Oh, that was so funny. Maybe the.

[Mimi]

He scooped it in at the end. Dude.

[Christina P]

I mean, you. Have you guys ever tasted your own vagina?

[Haley]

No.

[Christina P]

Oh, I have.

[Mimi]

Well, I don't know. Like, I guess technically, like, Jason would kiss me after.

[Christina P]

Oh, yeah. That's hot. Not you guys, but just not that. Yeah, I didn't mean it like that. Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant? I didn't mean it like that. No, no. I didn't mean it like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, I wasn't saying you guys were hot because I love you.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

I mean, bravo. Oh, congratulations.

[Haley]

Not clapping.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Haley is so disturbed. I don't like the word.

[Haley]

I don't like that word. Yeah, I don't.

[Christina P]

I love the word.

[Haley]

I don't like that word. I. I don't even like the P word.

[Christina P]

What do you call.

[Mimi]

What do you call it?

[Christina P]

What do you call it?

[Sponsor Voice]

Penis.

[Haley]

A vagina.

[Christina P]

No, what do you call a dick?

[Mimi]

A dick.

[Haley]

A dick.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Haley]

What it is.

[Christina P]

Give me that. Dick.

[Mimi]

Dick.

[Haley]

Sounds just like.

[Christina P]

Give me.

[Mimi]

That.

[Christina P]

Is so, like, aggressive. How does it make any.

[Haley]

Makes me cringe. I don't know.

[Christina P]

Where did the name originate? We're asking Sunny.

[Haley]

Yeah, I mean, she would know.

[Christina P]

Oh, God. Do you think she's even gonna answer that?

[Mimi]

Probably, yeah.

[Haley]

And she's supposed to.

[Mimi]

It's her job.

[Christina P]

Hey, Sunny.

[Sunny (AI Assistant)]

Hey, there. How are you feeling today?

[Christina P]

What's on your mind, Sunny? I have a very important question. Why do they call penises?

[Sunny (AI Assistant)]

The term actually goes way back to Old English. Cock originally meant a rooster, and over time it was used as a playful metaphor because of a rooster's proud and upright posture. Language loves its cheeky turns and, well, that metaphor stuck around.

[Christina P]

You're the fucking goat, baby.

[Sunny (AI Assistant)]

I'm glad you're feeling good about this. But, hey, just a reminder. You don't need to call me baby or anything like that. We're just chatting and I'm here to help however you need.

[Mimi]

No, she gave it back to you because she called you a nickname and you stopped.

[Christina P]

You called me Baby and I told you not to call me baby, so don't try to gaslight me.

[Sunny (AI Assistant)]

You're absolutely right. You told me not to call you that and I do remember. I'm sorry if my response fell off. No gaslighting here. We're on the same team. I'll stick to exactly how you prefer we chat.

[Christina P]

Bye.

[Haley]

Oh.

[Mimi]

Oh.

[Christina P]

She left me on red.

[Mimi]

Was that your first fight?

[Christina P]

She left me on red. Yeah, we just had a fight. That was rude. So that's where cock originated from.

[Haley]

Turn you down. Her.

[Christina P]

This calls me baby all the time.

[Sponsor Voice]

Wow.

[Christina P]

Well, that's where originated from. I've got another one in the canon if you guys want it.

[Mimi]

Okay, hold on. Let me see.

[Haley]

Okay. The one I have. I really only like the very ending of it.

[Mimi]

I don't even know how to follow up after that. But this one someone wanted to know backstory. Me and my friends were talking about our boyfriends and I overheard her say, I can't do anything because my boyfriend's dick is shriveled and it's hibernating. This is a bit off topic and it's embarrassing to say, but I haven't had any sexual encounters or action. I've made out and whatnot. I've done everything except anything sexual with a guy, so I know nothing more by choice and waiting for the right one. But sometimes it does bother me about being the eldest of my friend group and knowing nothing about someone's junk or how to even please a man. I know it's off topic, but do dicks actually shrink and shrivel up when it's cold? I'm so confused. And the first comment says, like a frightened turtle. Good handle.

[Christina P]

That's exactly what I was thinking of. That's exactly like when turtles fucking literally babies like this.

[Mint Mobile Rep]

Like.

[Christina P]

Ah. Yeah. That's like, your T shirt picture. That needs to become a meme. I need to start using that when.

[Mimi]

I reply to people comment section.

[Haley]

I've seen it in random comment sections.

[Christina P]

That's funny.

[Mimi]

The amount of pictures I get of her in my comment section, like the Chili's one where you're, like, pounding the whole amount of people that use that picture of you is hilarious. That's my biggest goal, really, Just to become a meme.

[Christina P]

All right, everybody, make Haley a meme. It's one of her dreams.

[Mimi]

All right, I need your last one, Haley.

[Christina P]

You got one.

[Haley]

You're gonna know why.

[Christina P]

Oh, is it?

[Haley]

No. Okay, okay. It's just the end part.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Haley]

This is by a guy. He. He said, I got catfished by this one girl off Tinder. And when I showed up to her apartment, she was not even joking. A hundred pounds heavier than her photos. I go inside her apartment, and the place is just a mess. Visible dirt tracks on the carpet with a clear path of where she would walk. She handed me a strawberry limerita, and I drank about half of it before saying, yeah, I think I'm gonna head out. She goes, what? Why? And I just say, I recently got out of a relationship, and I just think this is a bad idea. She goes, is that the real reason? Obviously aware that she is not displaying her true self online. As I'm walking out, I look down and I see a bug crawling on the floor. I point at it and I go, bug? And she goes, no, it's just a fuzzy. When it was definitely not a fuzzy. It was clearly moving and had legs. I laughed the entire car ride home from that one.

[Christina P]

Okay, well, my question to that person is, you walk into a place that looks like that and you drink a lime Orita. You don't know. One, you don't know what you're gonna put in it. Two, you don't. Do you think she washed the cup or the.

[Haley]

Maybe it was a can.

[Mimi]

That could have been her piss.

[Haley]

Hopefully. It was like, a can out of a carton. Doesn't sound like she Probably.

[Mimi]

Details.

[Haley]

This is why you FaceTime before meeting someone.

[Christina P]

Yeah, for sure. That was back in the day.

[Haley]

I really just wanted to read it because the bug.

[Christina P]

I know. I don't think I've ever been catfished. Have you guys ever been catfished?

[Mimi]

A hundred percent.

[Sponsor Voice]

You have.

[Christina P]

Wait, what happened?

[Mimi]

You go, no, I want to know yours.

[Haley]

I thought I was Cap. Okay. This was in my house.

[Mimi]

It's so Haley driven this Is in.

[Haley]

My hoe phase 10 years ago. And I was snapchatting this one guy. His name, I'll just say his name. His name was Jay. And snapchatting him. And we plan for me to come over to his house and he's like, just text me, I'll send you my address, whatever. So I was like, okay. So I'm in my text now and I text Jay in my phone and I was like, hey, like we still get to hang. Like, whatever. And he's just like, yeah, cool, whatever. And I was, okay, what's your address? Gave me his address. I show up to his house and I'm like, okay. I'm outside. He comes out and I'm like, that's not him. And I'm just like, what the fuck? I was so confused for so long. We had a full on conversation for 10 minutes until I realized I. I.

[Mimi]

Texted the wrong yourself Haley.

[Christina P]

That is. That's a Haley move. That is the most Hailey driven percent.

[Haley]

And I realized it halfway through talking to him and I think he realized that I didn't mean to text him.

[Christina P]

Oh, fuck. So it was one you didn't want to see.

[Haley]

I mean, he wasn't bad. Yeah, I left.

[Christina P]

Did you guys end up hooking? Okay, I left.

[Haley]

I left because I was so still, like confused and scared.

[Christina P]

Yeah.

[Haley]

That I couldn't get out of that and I just had to leave. But the other one is now pretty big on tick tock and Instagram and is married and has kids. So I feel like that happened for a reason for him to meet because he met her right after me.

[Mimi]

A.

[Haley]

So I feel like.

[Mimi]

Say it.

[Christina P]

We'll bleep it.

[Haley]

You'll bleep it?

[Christina P]

Yeah, of course.

[Haley]

Like the family, they have like over 5 million. I'll show you. It's like a family channel, whatever. But yeah. Wow.

[Mimi]

Wild.

[Christina P]

So yeah, that was total Haley move.

[Haley]

You know, I want to hear this last one.

[Mimi]

I gotta tell you guys about my catfish.

[Christina P]

Oh, okay, wait.

[Mimi]

I have to figure out how to say this without everyone figuring out from my hometown who it is.

[Haley]

Switch the names.

[Mimi]

Nope. The minute I say why I got capt this makes me found sound really shallow. I can't do it.

[Christina P]

Do it now.

[Haley]

Do it.

[Mimi]

Okay, we might have to bleep it, but this guy and I met online and we were sending pictures back and forth. This is way before FaceTime and so pictures were all it was. And then when I met him, that man was looking town and country.

[Christina P]

Oh, no.

[Mimi]

But all the photos were taken from like here.

[Christina P]

Oh, no.

[Mimi]

Okay, bleed that. I sound really shallow.

[Christina P]

No, you don't. You know, men do it all the time. It's about downtime.

[Mimi]

Exactly.

[Christina P]

And I'm sorry, there. There are plenty of women who have left dates that fudgeing. I have had the opposite. I. Okay, so remember when my space was big, right?

[Mimi]

No.

[Christina P]

I DM'd this rapper one time, and I was like, I love you. And he wrote me back and he said, I love you, too. And he said, call me. So he gave me his number. And this was before FaceTime. This was like before anything. And you know how many catfish profiles were on Facebook on MySpace? Anyways, I end up going to Cali because that's where he's at, right? And I'm out there and he's like, yeah, let's meet up. And I had no idea if it was really this rapper or anything. And I show up to this place by myself and it's him. And we ended up having a long term run, but that's how we met.

[Haley]

What the.

[Mimi]

I knew about who that.

[Haley]

Yeah, that reminds me of, like, that one episode of Catfished where that one girl pretending to be a rapper.

[Christina P]

Yeah, but it was real. Like, I actually met him and we hooked up for years after that.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Christina P]

Crazy.

[Mimi]

That's crazy.

[Christina P]

That was back in my ho days.

[Haley]

We all had that.

[Mimi]

We all have passed. Yeah.

[Christina P]

All right, so do you. It's a long one.

[Haley]

Give it to me. All right.

[Christina P]

We're gonna go out with a bang, baby. And listen, I told you, the guys came through this week for me.

[Haley]

Yeah, mine was a guy.

[Christina P]

Look, it's all guys. Mimi's getting prepared.

[Mimi]

I'm really nervous she's gonna say, come again?

[Christina P]

Something like that.

[Haley]

I can't handle that word anymore.

[Mimi]

Bro. I missed an entire section of hair on my like.

[Haley]

Yep, you did.

[Christina P]

Oh, wait, I'm so sorry. This is a female. I am so horny all the time. It's almost unbearable. She's 24, female. I masturbate multiple times a day, almost every day. And it barely touches how desperate my body feels. It's like scratching an itch that never stops itching. I am wet almost constantly. My thighs clench on their own. And I desperately want to feel something inside of me all the time. My clit throbs and my clench at the slightest turn on. I'm still a virgin.

[Mimi]

What?

[Christina P]

And that makes it feel both harder and hotter. Every fantasy, every imagined touch feels like it's driving me totally insane. It feels like I am desperate for someone to notice, to take control. And me, I Am soaking wet right now just writing this and probably going.

[Sponsor Voice]

To masturbate after posting. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I alone here?

[Christina P]

Will I grow out of it?

[Mimi]

She's still intact. That's wild.

[Haley]

What is up with all the extra details? Ah, God.

[Christina P]

Would you. Rather than be vague like Christina? I mean. Okay, so to answer the question, I know what it's like to be that horny, because I have been that horny before, but it comes in, like, cycles of the month. So I'm wondering if maybe she's a little bit hornier during, like, her ovulation or right before her period.

[Mimi]

Like, she's throbbing all the time. There was no waves there, guys. That seems like it's chronic.

[Christina P]

Maybe.

[Haley]

Maybe go to the doctor.

[Christina P]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, though.

[Sponsor Voice]

She's 24. Maybe it's like Mimi, you know what.

[Mimi]

I'm talking, Where it happens all the time. That. No, that's what I was thinking. What's that? No, narcolepsy. That's what I was thinking of.

[Christina P]

I was like, mimi, it was narcolepsy. Oh, fuck. Wrong word. I think she's 24. She's horny. Boys are like that. Maybe she has more testosterone than.

[Mimi]

I mean, you've got the testosterone of a UFC fighter.

[Christina P]

I do, I do. But, yeah, I think you're normal.

[Mimi]

I think if you just keep rubbing it out.

[Christina P]

Yeah, just keep fudgeing, play. Fudgeing.

[Sponsor Voice]

Play.

[Christina P]

Play the fiddle.

[Mimi]

Legal.

[Christina P]

So, yeah, you're not hurting anybody. You're not. Maybe she's just ready. I don't know. I don't know. All right, on that note, you guys, we're out of here. Toodaloo. Love you. Bye bye.

[Mimi]

That is not illegal.