Ask, Tell, Confess: Vacation Story Nightmare

Summary

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Dumb Blonde Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: "Ask, Tell, Confess: Vacation Story Nightmare"

Host: Bunnie XO (Bunnie DeFord)
Date: August 7, 2026
Main Guests: Haley, Jason, Jaime

Overview

This episode of "Dumb Blonde" dives into vacation nightmares, embarrassing travel stories, and hilarious confessions, all delivered in the show's signature blend of raw humor, blunt honesty, and relatable banter. Bunnie XO and her co-hosts share their own anecdotes and read wild listener submissions, keeping the conversation candid, unfiltered, and frequently outrageous.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Movie Talk & “Wicker” Trailer Madness

[02:16–04:15]

• The crew reacts to the bizarre trailer for a UK film called “Wicker,” where a woman commissions a man from wicker material.
• The trailer’s explicit content (the display of "wicker genitalia") becomes the focus, leading to jokes about splinters and uncomfortable visuals.
• Memorable quote:
  • “Imagine getting a splinter in your vagina.” — Bunnie [04:43]
  • “I hate wicker. God, looking at it pisses me off.” — Haley [04:08]

2. Clearing Up Rumors: Leaving Nashville?

[05:01–07:14]

• Haley addresses rumors swirling online that she’s leaving Nashville for California, assuring listeners her Cali house is only a vacation spot.
• Nashville remains home, especially because of her animals (Crunchy, S’more, Nova).
• Memorable quote:
  • “Stop putting so much pressure on your girl. I’m just trying to live my life.” — Haley [06:13]
• The crew discusses balancing work, personal life, and the importance of having a “Zen” place.

3. Personal Growth & Manifestation

[07:25–08:12]

• Haley reflects on her personal growth, saying she’s more patient, relaxed, and no longer chases what she wants—instead, she lets things come to her.
• “When you don’t chase, you attract... It just flies into your hand like little butterflies.” — Haley [07:57]

4. Country Life & Animal Mayhem

[10:39–13:33]

• Talk turns to farm life: building barns, keeping animals (chickens, roosters, turkey), and the quirks of animal behavior.
• “Can I bring my turkey? ... He’s attached to people, not other birds.” — Jason [12:16]
• Unexpected animal behavior sparks laughter:
  • “Honey, you try to mount someone the other day?” — Jason [12:52]

5. Main Theme: Wildest & Worst Vacation Stories

[13:45–32:20]

• The crew reads outrageous listener travel stories and shares their own, focusing on what went wrong rather than dream vacations.
• Listener Submission: Paige Van Zant’s Alaska Christmas Disaster
  • Paige recounts drinking too much champagne, waking up with a broken foot and poop on the table (“not sure whose, but I was alone downstairs”).
  • "Why do people [poop] on things when they get drunk?" — Haley [15:05]
• Golf Course Mishap
  • Story about someone “hovering” to poop into a golf hole, leading to vivid, gross-out speculation.
  • “Think about the person who hits a ball in one of those and has to stick their hand in…” — Haley [16:55]
• The Group Chat Confession Chain
  • Jokes about how nothing stays secret among the hosts—everything goes straight into the group chat.
  • “Don’t ever come to us and tell one of us to keep a secret, because the whole coven knows.” — Haley [18:05]
• Unprompted Photo Sharing & Blackmail Jokes
  • Bunnie and company mock-threaten to use embarrassing photos as contact pictures, not for blackmail.
  • “We make it each other's contact pictures.” — Haley [18:27]

6. More Listener Vacation Fails

[20:47–29:08]

• Legal Loophole Wedding in Turkey
  • A very short story about someone randomly marrying in Turkey—and not knowing where the marriage certificate is.
  • The hosts debate the logistics and legality.
• Sex and Sickness in Mexico
  • Listener says she gave her boyfriend head in a hotel shower and ended up with severe digestive distress for the rest of the trip, likely from the water.
  • “Mexico water will fuck you up.” — Jason [27:25]
  • Haley shares her own Mexico story, getting a bizarre rash and a steroid shot from a local doctor.
• Medication Abroad
  • The group shares how non-US medicines work faster and more efficiently.
  • “Any sort of medication that is outside the US—top tier.” — Haley [29:08]

7. Personal Confessions & Past Substance Abuse

[29:14–31:36]

• Haley tells a cautionary tale of bullying friends into a drunken nine-hour road trip to Tijuana for a donkey show, only to demand they turn around and drive back 30 minutes later.
  • “How dare you bring me to Tijuana after I bullied you to bringing me to...Tijuana.” — Haley [30:41]
• Haley and Jason discuss personal struggles with pills and edibles, including a harrowing "ego death" experience after consuming THC.

8. Rapid Fire: Corn Dog Philosophies & Odd Family Moments

[23:16–26:23]

• Amid tangents, they debate the best way to eat corn dogs and joke about the “butt nugget” at the stick’s end.
• Bunny shares a listener story ("nothing terrible, but..."): overhearing her dad climax in a hotel shower, causing gags all around.
  • “That’s a line that you don’t cross...” — Haley [26:05]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Imagine getting a splinter in your vagina.” — Bunnie [04:43]
• “Stop putting so much pressure on your girl. I’m just trying to live my life.” — Haley [06:13]
• “When you don’t chase, you attract... It just flies into your hand like little butterflies.” — Haley [07:57]
• “Honey, you try to mount someone the other day?” — Jason [12:52]
• “Why do people [poop] on things when they get drunk?” — Haley [15:05]
• “Can I bring my turkey? ... He’s attached to people, not other birds.” — Jason [12:16]
• “Don’t ever come to us and tell one of us to keep a secret, because the whole coven knows.” — Haley [18:05]
• “We make it each other's contact pictures.” — Haley [18:27]
• “How dare you bring me to Tijuana after I bullied you to bringing me to…Tijuana.” — Haley [30:41]
• “That’s a line that you don’t cross...” — Haley [26:05]
• “Mexico water will fuck you up.” — Jason [27:25]

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:16] — Movie trailer “Wicker” reaction
• [05:09] — Clearing up Nashville/California living rumors
• [07:25] — Personal growth and “chase vs. attract” philosophy
• [13:45] — Introduction to vacation story confessions
• [14:24] — Paige Van Zant’s Alaska disaster
• [15:57] — Golf course poop incident
• [18:05] — Group chat secret-sharing confessions
• [20:47] — Listener’s random wedding in Turkey
• [23:16] — Corn dog eating methods
• [25:02] — Listener’s story – awkward dad moment in Bahamas
• [27:00] — Listener’s oral sex and “Montezuma’s Revenge” tale
• [29:14] — Mexico/Tijuana pill bender confession
• [31:36] — Edibles and “ego death” story

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Tone & Style

Unapologetically raunchy, quick-witted, and real. The hosts celebrate radical honesty, cackle through genuinely embarrassing confessions, and foster a judgment-free zone, making even the most awkward stories a moment of camaraderie and hilarity.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers exactly what fans expect from “Dumb Blonde”: hilarious oversharing, wild audience interactions, and barely-filtered girl talk that pulls no punches. The blend of listener stories and personal confessions keeps things unpredictable. Stay tuned for Part Two, where even more vacation nightmares are promised.

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Transcript

[Haley]

You guys know I'm in the middle of moving, and if you've ever moved, you know it's the perfect time to hit reset. Instead of bringing the same old vibe into a new space, I've been looking for pieces that actually make it feel like home. I've probably spent way too much time building wish lists and saving favorites, and Wayfair has honestly become my go to while pulling everything together. One thing I really like is Wayfair Verified because it gives me a little extra confidence that I'm looking at products that have been vetted for quality, functionality and even ease of assembly. I also always check the customer reviews and real customer photos because I want to see how something actually looks in someone's home before I click Buy. Whether you're moving, refreshing a room, or just looking for that one piece to pull everything together, Wayfair has options for just about every style and budget. And if you're planning a bigger home project, Wayfair Rewards is definitely something worth checking out. Members get 5% back every day, which is always a nice bonus when you're shopping for your home. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home Upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F A I R.com Wayfair Every Style Every Home Wayfair Every Style Every

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Home Ready to make your next move count? What if your next job came with a better quality of life? Mountain Cement in Laramie, Wyoming, has been building careers since 1927 and is hiring now. Whether you're looking for an hourly position or a salary career, there's an opportunity waiting for you. Enjoy competitive pay Day one Benefits relocation assistance for qualified candidates, and a community where outdoor recreation is part of everyday life. Hunting, fishing, mountains, and room to grow. It all starts at Mountain Cement. Apply at mountaincement.com or call 307-745-2620 Ask Tell Confett.

[Jaime]

Conf.

[Haley]

Hello friends. Welcome to another Ask, Tell Confess.

[Jason]

The way you chomp is wild.

[Bunny]

I know.

[Jason]

It's so loud.

[Haley]

It's like my teeth are wooden. You would think I had like wooden teeth, right?

[Jason]

That's crazy.

[Bunny]

Speaking of wooden weight, have you guys seen the trailer for the new movie Wicker?

[Haley]

No, you haven't.

[Bunny]

It's like wicker.

[Haley]

I hate wicker furniture. It pisses me off.

[Bunny]

Well, not furniture. Oh, it's this lady that like, wants a man so bad and she has a guy like create her a man from wicker. Oh, and in the UK trailer, they literally show his dick.

[Jason]

Let's look like it's not bad news.

[Jaime]

The cut.

[Bunny]

Everyone's like, bring it up, bring it up.

[Haley]

I want to see the trailer, dude. I can't stand wicker furniture.

[Bunny]

The com. The comments are crazy. Everyone's like, I mean, do I find

[Jason]

this on YouTube or.

[Haley]

Yeah, they got the dong on the tube.

[Bunny]

Oh, that's on a UK trailer only, though.

[Jason]

Uk.

[Bunny]

But the comments on this are wild.

[Haley]

Is the dog big? What's the comments?

[Jason]

Clearly, it's a little. It's not bad.

[Bunny]

It's from far away. You can see it. But of course, everyone.

[Jaime]

The bush or no bush.

[Haley]

Is it uncircumcised?

[Bunny]

No bush in Europe.

[Haley]

Is it uncircumcised? Do we have an anteater? Is it a N Eater?

[Bunny]

But you can. Like, there's this one part where he's laying down and you hear like. You hear it, like, stretching, whatever. And everyone's like, you know what that is, right?

[Haley]

Getting a boner.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Oh, my God, I hate wicker. It pisses me off. I had to grow up with wicker furniture.

[Jason]

I love a good wicker.

[Bunny]

I like.

[Jason]

You would. Would.

[Jaime]

You Would not the ads.

[Haley]

Is this it?

[Bunny]

Yep.

[Jason]

That's our friend.

[Haley]

Oh, it's definitely not washed.

[Jason]

I love him.

[Haley]

Oh, it's our guy.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Is it his dong?

[Bunny]

Oh, no.

[Haley]

Oh, he.

[Bunny]

He creates him.

[Haley]

I was kind of looking forward to it if it was his.

[Bunny]

Definitely an original movie.

[Haley]

I hate wicker. God, looking at it pisses me off.

[Jason]

Guys, I don't like this.

[Bunny]

It's the part. Okay. It might be right here. There.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Bunny]

Yep.

[Jason]

It was hanging.

[Bunny]

Listen.

[Haley]

Okay, Turn it off.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Haley]

Who can.

[Jaime]

Oh, hey.

[Bunny]

Not her.

[Haley]

Banging the wicker wiener, dude.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Are you kidding? What the. And we get flagged if we cuss on YouTube. Like hell.

[Bunny]

Front row. All right.

[Jason]

Imagine getting, like, one of the. You know, sometimes wicker breaks.

[Haley]

It's probably going to be a fucking.

[Bunny]

Imagine getting a splinter in your vagina.

[Haley]

I just got a visual. Like a delayed visual, dude. And this is probably going to be a fucking box office hit.

[Jason]

Oh, for sure, bro.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Fucking only Haley would know about this shit. This is your fyp.

[Bunny]

This is my.

[Haley]

This is your flip. For sure.

[Bunny]

This is my flip.

[Haley]

All right, well, we are back and we are recovering. We have been in Nashville, just chilling and, you know, we gotta clear something up.

[Jason]

Yeah, let's clear some hair up.

[Haley]

Guys, we gotta clear something up because the Internet is in an uproar because they think that I'm leaving Crunchy and S'.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

More.

[Jason]

How dare they?

[Haley]

I would never. I have spent every day with Crunchy and S' more since I've been home. Crunchy is so spoiled now that he literally tried to attack me yesterday because he didn't want me to leave. But I need you guys to understand something. The Cali home is a vacation home.

[Jason]

Yeah. We're not moving.

[Haley]

If I need to do a fudgeing podcast run out there, we have it. But Nashville will always be home. This is my piece. This is, like, where I come to Zen out and just heal and. Yeah, I could never, ever, ever leave my animals, ever. I saw some girl made a video the other day, and she's like, what about Crunch? Like, dude, when I'm gone, they love our new farmhand wit so much that they S' more goes up to him and, like, snuggles with him. More will not even snuggle with me. Like, well taken care of. And do you guys know how many people have animals that travel? Like, yeah, you guys, it's.

[Bunny]

Yeah, we're bringing them on.

[Haley]

Stop putting so much pressure on your girl. I'm just trying to live my life. Yeah, but, like, you know, you guys just let your girl live a little.

[Jason]

Yeah, you're, you know, just having fun right now. So this is your fun vacation home when it. The weather gets. Because honestly, you guys, it's rained every day this entire summer in Nashville.

[Haley]

And when it snows out here, like, I like a break from the snow. I would like to go see the sunshine in the middle December when my depression hits, you know? So I've just always wanted a west coast house.

[Jason]

And you have so many friends out there, too. It's nice to be able to just go and get a break.

[Haley]

So many friends. Pretty little baby. She said no. No. All right, so anyways, yeah, I'm glad we cleared that up, guys. No.

[Jason]

No moving.

[Haley]

No leaving the Crunchy. No leaving the Smorgle, Nova, and Dong.

[Jason]

You've also worked so hard on your new home. I don't think realize this has been, like, a long journey. This will always be home. So that's, like, where our heart is.

[Haley]

That house is customized to me, and it's still being decorated, and I'm. I'm living in a construction zone right now, but every day it's good. I'm getting through it.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Just this year has been interesting, to say the least. But I've learned so much about myself this year. I am so patient now. Like, you really are. You, like, sometimes you have to check my pulse because I'm so relaxed about things.

[Jason]

You're kicked back about everything. Nothing gets you in a tizzy.

[Haley]

Patience has been a virtue for me this year, and I kind of dig it.

[Bunny]

I love it.

[Haley]

Yeah, I. I'm just like, whatever. Go with the flow.

[Jason]

And everything always works out.

[Haley]

Everything always works out. I've learned that when you don't chase, you attract. And it is so real, dude.

[Jason]

So true.

[Haley]

It's so real. Like, there's nothing in the world that you can't have as long as you don't chase it. When you chase it, you're kind of, like, gripping it with, like, closed fist. But when you just hold like this, it just, like, flies into your hand like little butterflies.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

Little butterflies.

[Jason]

I was on the back half of the property the other day, and there was three little butterflies, and it was a black and blue one and two blonde.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Literally, your house is. Yeah, she's literally three of us together, and they were just all flying around each other.

[Haley]

No, you don't ever capture a butterfly.

[Bunny]

We can make a little house for them.

[Haley]

No, they have to be free, baby. We're free butterflies ourselves. What would we do? Well, how do we act when we get catchy?

[Jason]

What happens when you're caged in lockdown? Haley.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

How do we. What do we do?

[Haley]

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[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Ready to make your next move count? What if your next job came with a better quality of life? Mountain Cement in Laramie, Wyoming, has been building careers since 1927 and is hiring now. Whether you're looking for an hourly position or a salary career, there's an opportunity waiting for you. Enjoy competitive pay day one. Benefits, relocation assistance for qualified candidates, and a community where outdoor recreation is part of everyday life. Hunting, fishing, mountains, and room to grow. It all starts at Mountain Cement. Apply at mountaincement.com or call 307-745-2620.

[Haley]

I know, but we can have pets out in nature.

[Bunny]

We should grow butterflies.

[Jason]

Can we grow butterflies?

[Haley]

That would be awesome.

[Jason]

Olivia did that one year. It was so much fun. They're all monarchs.

[Haley]

Yes.

[Jason]

And then she let them off in the backyard. And he hung around for like, two days and then took off. Oh, you know, let's do it.

[Haley]

So beautiful.

[Jason]

Mortaring the kit.

[Haley]

Let's do it. What's the fucking barn going to be built is what I want to know.

[Jason]

Like, permitting is.

[Haley]

I need horses asap. Let's go. Let's go.

[Jason]

Oh, I can't wait. I cannot wait for the horses to be in the backyard. But we did get a new home for our chickens, and they are living their best little life right now. Did you see her post them?

[Bunny]

No.

[Jason]

Oh, my gosh. They're living their best little life out at Marissa's house right now.

[Haley]

Is she the one that took the pigs, too?

[Bunny]

No. Oh, okay.

[Jason]

No, no. Marissa's. What's Charlie's? Yeah, they ended up taking them and they. She keeps sending me, like, screenshots from their farm group chat. And they're like, we named this one

[Haley]

Sally Ellie Jesse Raphael.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's one of the chicken's names.

[Haley]

I love that. That is so.

[Jason]

This one's so friendly. I was like, I know. It's a sweet little baby. They literally are so excited. I know. That's why we're not bringing them.

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Hate them.

[Haley]

That was the one stipulation when they. I was like, listen, man, if we're gonna cohabitate together, you can't be the crazy bird lady. I was like, I cannot handle bird everywhere.

[Jason]

4:30 this morning, Jimmy C started. It was rough. Yeah.

[Haley]

No, I. Are you not getting rid of the roosters?

[Jason]

We are. They're going to different family. We had so many roosters. They couldn't all go to one farm cuz they already had roosters. So, like, these roosters are going to them. These roosters are going to them. Yeah.

[Haley]

All right.

[Jason]

Can I bring my turkey?

[Haley]

Just one turkey on the property.

[Jason]

I love that he's in the back.

[Haley]

Lonely, though.

[Bunny]

Like, I'll hang on.

[Jason]

Won't be lonely long.

[Haley]

I know if it's lonely now, maybe. Yeah. I feel like we need a girlfriend for him or something. Dude, I don't know.

[Jason]

He, like, he's attached to people. He's not attached to other birds because he's been alone after we lost Roseanne, so he just kind of hangs out.

[Bunny]

All right.

[Jason]

Yeah, he loves. He loves cows. He loves.

[Haley]

Okay, I'm down for a turtlene.

[Bunny]

Turk.

[Haley]

Never mind.

[Jason]

Yeah, I'm gonna have to figure it out. Honey, you try to mount someone the other day?

[Bunny]

What?

[Jason]

She's a girl, though.

[Haley]

Yeah. And she's little.

[Jason]

She's tiny. She's a lap donkey. It's literally you. You're Miss Honey.

[Haley]

That's crazy. Where did she. That's a learned behavior.

[Jason]

I don't know. I have no idea where it came from.

[Haley]

Where'd she learn that from?

[Jason]

Not on our farm.

[Haley]

Yeah, you guys in the woods and I got neighbors.

[Jason]

I can't.

[Haley]

Oh, you just. Our woods.

[Jason]

There's no neighbors back there.

[Haley]

Did he come on a tree?

[Bunny]

Whoa.

[Haley]

Wowza. Are we trying for another baby now

[Jason]

that factory is shut down, girl.

[Bunny]

No.

[Jason]

My baby fever is going to come out with you. Oh, my little nugget.

[Haley]

Oh, my goodness. All right, so let's talk about the. What did we pick today for the subject? Because I. We have been. You guys, listen, I don't know if it's like Ask How Confess is just picking up or whatever on YouTube, but.

[Jason]

Crazy.

[Haley]

So many people have sent in stories and it's just. It's crazy. We might have to do a part two because there's so many of them. But.

[Jason]

Yeah, we were talking about vacation homes because we're so excited about our vacation home in la and we figured we want to hear your craziest vacations.

[Haley]

Craziest vacation. I got worst vacations, so.

[Jason]

Oh, I love it. I can't wait. I got some pretty gnarly vacations.

[Bunny]

I don't think any of mine were good.

[Haley]

I mean, who wants to hear about a good vacation? Nobody. I don't know.

[Bunny]

I want to hear crazy.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

[Haley]

Like, who cares that you had a good vacation? All right, who wants to kick this?

[Jason]

You. You kick it off.

[Haley]

Oh, put me on the spot right there. All right, hold on.

[Jason]

Let me get my b.

[Jaime]

Hold on.

[Haley]

Let me get my bifocals on. Paige Van Zant, the fighter. I love her to death. So hot. You guys go check out her only fans. She's amazing. She wrote in and she said. Went to Alaska on Christmas Eve. Drank too much champagne in the hot tub. Woke up alone on the couch with a broken foot and shit on the table. Not sure whose, but I was alone downstairs. So went the rest of the trip in Alaska on crutches in the snow. Ate shit like 10 times. I waited about 6 months before I told my family about the table. I spent all day Christmas Day in the ER getting a cast put on, bro.

[Jason]

What?

[Haley]

Why do people on things when they get drunk?

[Jason]

That's.

[Bunny]

I've never done that.

[Haley]

Me either. I wish I could blackout, bro. I wish I could. That easy. I have to like concentrate, you know, and like wiggle around to get stuff out.

[Jason]

There's probably get that checked.

[Haley]

I just did with you. And I have the most beautiful butthole ever.

[Jason]

You look great.

[Haley]

Yeah, they on the inside. My butthole is great. Yeah. So the shout out. Paige. Everybody's when they're drunk. I just don't. I don't get it, dude.

[Jaime]

Was the coffee table. Do you think or will I set

[Haley]

a pool table right? She on the pool table.

[Jaime]

If it's a pool that you can't scrub that out. That's gonna be there for a second.

[Jason]

That is in the fabric.

[Haley]

But here's the thing. You can. This is gonna be so graphic. But you can't poop without peeing.

[Jason]

Oh, it's wet. Do you think if it was a pool table. Do you think she did it? Try to get it in the hole.

[Jaime]

That's a really hard.

[Haley]

Yeah, I just thought.

[Jason]

How do you know bleep this name? Jason said when we accidentally left him, he pooped in the hole of one of the golf courses on the way back because he had a so bad. It was such a long walk.

[Haley]

I didn't know that earlier.

[Jason]

Oh my God.

[Haley]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

He told me that this last trip. That's when crazy just told me this, bro.

[Haley]

I'm saying something to him when I see him. That is.

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

Hold on.

[Haley]

How do you. Those holes are small.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jason]

How to be really good, bro.

[Haley]

He hovered. He left.

[Jaime]

Yeah,

[Haley]

he fucking hovered, dude.

[Jason]

Do you think he was holding onto the pole.

[Bunny]

Stop.

[Mountain Cement Announcer]

You have to Take the pole out.

[Haley]

You got to take the pole out.

[Jaime]

I think to go.

[Jason]

And that's, like, what he used as a crutch.

[Haley]

Okay, but hold on. Think about the person who hits a ball in one of those and has

[Jason]

to stick her hand in. It just sticks.

[Haley]

You go to reach for the ball, and there's literally just a log. A log right there and that.

[Jaime]

Long ago, either.

[Haley]

And he eats pretty healthy, so there's definitely corn or broccoli in there, too.

[Jason]

Like, that's a nice color.

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Yeah, I got some weight.

[Haley]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

Dude, that's. He told me and Jason the story, so I know it's true.

[Haley]

That's funny. Yeah, that is so funny.

[Jason]

Dude, leave that name in.

[Haley]

I love that people get so comfortable with us that they just divulge information.

[Jason]

I love it. I love to get people very vulnerable and let them just tell me the wildest is.

[Bunny]

And then air it out.

[Haley]

And then air it out.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Haley]

We don't even blackmail people because we don't care to blackmail them. We just want the information to share with all of you guys.

[Jason]

100 someone the other day was like, I can't tell you that piece of information. Information, because I feel like you, Haley, and Bunny will talk about it on the podcast.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Literally never.

[Jason]

And in my head, I was like, go ahead and tell me.

[Bunny]

Already texted us in the group chat.

[Jason]

Guys, we got info.

[Haley]

Oh, don't ever come to us and tell one of us to keep a secret, because the whole coven knows. Yeah, there's no way it is in

[Jason]

the group chat immediately.

[Haley]

Absolutely.

[Jason]

We share all photos we share.

[Bunny]

Yeah, women are scared we'll blackmail each

[Jason]

other with the photos last night.

[Haley]

Oh, no, we don't blackmail it. Oh, that

[Jaime]

she's about to say no.

[Haley]

We make it each other's contact pictures.

[Jason]

Hold on. Let me share this voice note from Bunny last night.

[Haley]

Oh.

[Jason]

Because I've never heard you laugh this hard, bro.

[Haley]

We were crying.

[Jason]

This was my favorite. Let me just tell you. I blackmailed her, and I ended up with. I hate you,

[Haley]

dude. I said something about.

[Jason]

She sent me this. Like, cute.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Right from that.

[Haley]

Oh, he's so hot. That I was like. I was like, no, be sweet to him.

[Jason]

And then. Oh, wait.

[Bunny]

From other.

[Haley]

And then she was like, yes.

[Jason]

Another. Yeah.

[Haley]

I was like, no, be sweet to him. And she was like, boom. Just fucking poked my eye out. I was like, bro, it was so fucking funny.

[Jason]

Also, like, my kids are, like, in the bed, and I'm like, like, holding my phone like this,

[Haley]

bro. All I know is I Got a video this week that is.

[Jason]

She said, I fell out of my bed.

[Haley]

I. I mean, okay. It was one of those videos where you literally press play, don't know what to expect, and then happens and you're just like. Like, it literally took away, though. Breath away. Like, it was.

[Jason]

How do you look away from that?

[Haley]

Yeah, I didn't. I didn't look away. I measured every inch with my eyeballs. Okay. It was.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

The tremble in your voice right now, bro.

[Haley]

I'm scared like that.

[Jason]

I did show Jaime.

[Jaime]

Yeah. It's like an old Dish Network remote. Not, like the new ones where they're

[Bunny]

like, that's crazy,

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

bro.

[Haley]

I don't even know know what I did. I don't know. I don't know.

[Jason]

When. Yesterday.

[Haley]

Oh, God. Yeah, you showed.

[Jason]

We were.

[Haley]

Oh, yeah. I. I have.

[Jaime]

What she say?

[Haley]

Just believe. Just bleep her name. I have her cracking up all the time, dude. She is literally, like. It's the funniest.

[Jason]

I've never been.

[Haley]

She said, I've never been blessed with one of those. One of those has never found me. I was like, me either, sister until two years ago.

[Jason]

That is so funny.

[Haley]

No, it was crazy. Yeah. So anyways, you got a story for us?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah. We're all hot and bothered over here.

[Jason]

I know. It's a little. Why? Why is it so hot in here right now?

[Bunny]

I'm glad I watched Twitter. I'm glad I watched Twitter.

[Jason]

Everyone's algorithm with that. Yeah, this one's short and sweet and said, this person got married in Turkey randomly, and I don't even know where my marriage certificate is. I need more information on this. How do you just go to Turkey and marry someone? Also, is that legal?

[Haley]

I don't. You have to go through, like, customs and get a green card and all that.

[Jason]

I would like to know about that.

[Haley]

Yeah, I need to know, too. I don't believe that. There was a lot of planning that went into that.

[Jason]

Imagine getting married, you know, Isn't there, like, a movie about that where they get, like, married on a vacation?

[Jaime]

There's a couple. There's what happens in Vegas with Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. Then there's.

[Jason]

That's like, that guy trying to.

[Haley]

The proposal is what happens in Vegas with Cameron Diaz or with Brittany Murphy.

[Jason]

Yeah, I thought it was Brittany Murphy.

[Haley]

It was Brittany Murphy because I met them whenever they were on doing the tour for that movie.

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[Jason]

This is insane.

[Jaime]

Pretty sure she's taking a selfie in the middle of the.

[Jason]

Yeah, in the middle of the podcast. Giving a whole photo shoot.

[Haley]

Listen, I'm busy, guys. I got. I got a whole nother life life to worry about.

[Jason]

You clearly do.

[Jaime]

Crazy.

[Jason]

Yeah. No, you guys are the ones that

[Haley]

make me work all the time.

[Jason]

Let's put these selfies in the podcast, Jason. Okay, so I want you, as it's happening, selfies onto the screen.

[Bunny]

Add a random sound effect to each one, too.

[Jason]

Yeah, that would be great. Just a little montage. Like kaching.

[Jaime]

You guys like when corn dogs are crispy or crispy.

[Haley]

You can't have a saggy ass corn dog.

[Jason]

Half soggy dog.

[Jaime]

I feel like Haley would like that.

[Jason]

You like soft?

[Bunny]

I do like when they're a little crispy, but not too hard. Sonics are great.

[Jason]

Show me how you eat the. The butt nugget of the corn dog off the stick.

[Jaime]

I try to see how far I can get the stick.

[Haley]

The butt nugget.

[Jason]

Like, you know, the little hard part at the end of a corn dog. Oh, how do you get. Do you.

[Bunny]

I.

[Jason]

Show me how you eat it.

[Bunny]

I bring it up. I bring it up.

[Jason]

Exactly what I would assume like a little chip. Just shaving your teeth on that wooden stick. Oh, love that. That hits my stimulation so hard. I don't like.

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah, the wooden.

[Jason]

Imagine running your teeth over that.

[Haley]

I'll barf. I hate that too. Whenever you do popsicles. You all right?

[Jason]

Today just made my insides hurt.

[Haley]

Damn. Between you and Matt, I can't Handle it. You guys are gonna make me puke.

[Jason]

I don't like that.

[Haley]

I had to send him a cute little selfie. It's cute, right?

[Bunny]

I'm blind. I can't see.

[Jason]

I like it.

[Jaime]

Very good.

[Haley]

Listen. They should have never let me in the streets. I love it here.

[Jason]

Love it, love it.

[Bunny]

Welcome.

[Jason]

Trying to catch up.

[Haley]

You've been trying to get me in the streets forever, sister. And now we had so much fun together in Cali.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

Dude.

[Bunny]

Bro.

[Haley]

Girl.

[Bunny]

I'm still recovering.

[Haley]

I'm ready. I'm wearing. I'm ready to go.

[Bunny]

Okay. Nothing terrible, but when my dad and I were in the Bahamas, he was in the shower and I was in the other room and I heard him have a massive orgasm.

[Jason]

Hold on.

[Bunny]

He doesn't know I heard it, but it was pretty scarring.

[Haley]

That's disgusting.

[Jason]

First off, why?

[Bunny]

Secondly, the fact it started off with nothing terrible.

[Jason]

But that's really terrible actually.

[Haley]

Was he whacking off or was he somebody?

[Jason]

If he's in the shower, he's probably alone.

[Haley]

Why are you coming that loud in the shower by yourself? Like, why are you doing that?

[Jaime]

He probably thought he was alone and she probably came back to like get a sandwich.

[Haley]

Simply pass away.

[Bunny]

There's no way never look at my dad again.

[Jason]

No, I would call you out on it. What the are you doing in there and why are you doing it with me?

[Haley]

I knocked on the door. I'd been like, stop on the wall. Just pissed off. You better knock your off. What the are you doing? Like this voice.

[Bunny]

I like that voice.

[Haley]

I be so. That's. Dude, that's a line that you don't cross. Like, nobody wants.

[Jason]

Why are we doing that?

[Haley]

They're dad doing weird.

[Jason]

Ew.

[Haley]

Triggering.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Ew.

[Haley]

Read my book. Read my book and you'll understand why.

[Jason]

God. Jaime, you got one.

[Jaime]

I do, actually.

[Jason]

Everyone really liked you on camera, Jaime.

[Haley]

Yeah, they did. Yeah, they loved you.

[Jason]

You got good one liners. Thanks. I don't know if I'm still high from last night. You could so funny today.

[Haley]

You gotta smile for a picture.

[Bunny]

We do the same thing.

[Jason]

I did middle finger. I assumed it was to him.

[Haley]

Which one?

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I would have done peace sign if it was the other one. Just kidding.

[Haley]

Nice.

[Bunny]

Well, I thought it was for Facebook.

[Jason]

Okay. Go ahead, Jaime.

[Jaime]

Alrighty. So, gave my man. Sorry. Gave my man head drunk in the shower in Mexico.

[Haley]

Oh, Passionate.

[Jaime]

You'd read that one?

[Bunny]

Yep. Go ahead.

[Jaime]

Passionate as hell with the water. Running. That's how she wrote it.

[Haley]

Running, running.

[Jaime]

Must have. Must have swallowed some Water. And the next day had the runs for the next for the rest of the trip.

[Haley]

That's the worst.

[Jason]

Mexico water will fuck you up.

[Haley]

See, I. I've been to Mexico a few times, and I never had a problem with the water. Never had a problem with the ice. But I literally went out there one time and I had a rash that started right here that went down my chest, and it was so itchy, I looked like elephant skin. I had to have a doctor come and give me a shot in Mexico of like a steroid shot to make the swelling go down and disappear.

[Jason]

What?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

Did it work, though? Oh, like that Mexican drugs.

[Jason]

Mexican drugs are.

[Haley]

Where is that?

[Bunny]

Europe.

[Haley]

I was just about to say, I learned when we were in Europe, the nasal spray. I straight up had a fever. I haven't had a fever. And God knows how long. 100 and something degrees fever. I mean, my worst fear came about while we were abroad. And I have never had antibiotics, Tylenol and whatever else they prescribed me literally was like, within 24 hours.

[Bunny]

Well, we all were sick, but we all were better the next day.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah, that was. Mine was a little bit longer for the throat spray. And she nasal shot it, bro. I forgot about that nasal shot. What was supposed to go down her throat? She was like, why am I numb? I said, it's burning.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And did the other nose.

[Haley]

No, it was bad.

[Jason]

That was so funny, dude.

[Haley]

Dude.

[Bunny]

None of us could read it.

[Haley]

No. So we were all taking. That wasn't in English. Yeah, we were just. We were Googling French. Yeah, we were Googling, like, Parsimitol or something like. That was Tylenol. And then like, I needed a Z pack. And they're like, what's a Z pack? And I'm like, I don't know. Antibiotics. Like, I needed something and I had. Oh, dude, it was crazy. But, yeah, Any sort of medication that is outside of the US top tier.

[Jason]

Yeah, 100%. You can go up to Mexico street corner.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And get whatever the hell you want.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Viagra.

[Haley]

Yeah. I actually went to Tijuana one time.

[Jaime]

There we go.

[Haley]

I actually went to Tijuana one time. I was so drunk, I was at this place called Cheyenne Saloon in Las Vegas where they do, like. It's a place where, like, bands go and they just have, like, Battle of the Bands and stuff like that. This is back in my Xanax days. So I was quite wild. And we were in the parking lot and I'm like, let's go to Tijuana and see the donkey show. And So I literally bullied, bullied my friends. I was like, you. You don't want to go to Tijuana. Like, just so up, right? Made my car full of friends drive nine hours to Tijuana, right? Nine hours from Vegas to Tijuana.

[Jason]

It's not even fun. On hour three, oh, I w up

[Haley]

sober and hungover in Tijuana and was so mad that they brought me to Tijuana that I made them. I went to the pharmacy, bought a whole bunch of blue valiums and some other pills from there, because this is, like, back in the day when you could get, like, hydrocodone. You can go, literally go to Mexico, walk into a freaking pharmacy, buy all the pills you could possibly want and leave. We were there for 30 minutes, and I made everybody leave and go home and drive me back home. Terrible. Terrible.

[Jason]

That's the wildest.

[Bunny]

What?

[Haley]

Terrible.

[Bunny]

That's the worst vacation story ever.

[Haley]

Terrible.

[Jason]

Worst vacation story.

[Haley]

Terrible human. I was. Yes. I mean, I was strung out on fucking pills.

[Jason]

How dare you take me to Tijuana.

[Haley]

How dare you bring me to Tijuana after I bullied you to bringing me to fucking Tijuana. You know, like, God, I could never imagine being like that now. And thank God I'm freaking sober. But, man, back then, pills were Had a hold of me, so. You act like a completely different human.

[Jason]

It did. I like the pills. After the surgery, we just had a lot.

[Haley]

I couldn't take them. I took him for, like, the day of because I was in so much pain. And then after that, I was just

[Jason]

every single one of them.

[Bunny]

Ah.

[Jason]

Jason goes, we're gonna need to chill.

[Bunny]

Said, you're a month out.

[Jason]

That's funny. I know. I went on, like, a crazy pill bender and then, like, went and drank 10 days straight with you guys. And I came home and I was like, that's crazy. Relapse on thc. It's a whole thing.

[Bunny]

What?

[Jason]

Yeah, I took edibles last night. Nice.

[Bunny]

Did you see us?

[Haley]

We both said, it won't.

[Bunny]

Won't be me.

[Haley]

Yeah, I have Haley, you haven't eaten an edible. Or when she had her ego death.

[Jason]

That was crazy. On a plane.

[Jaime]

No.

[Haley]

Not only did Haley have an ego death, she had to travel and work in between that ego death. It was, like, important. So we were, like, landed, had to drive to.

[Bunny]

Don't remember doing your makeup. Don't remember anything.

[Haley]

Oh, dude.

[Jason]

She was literally in the corner of an airplane just like,

[Haley]

he did it off did. She made me never want to try weed again, dude.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. No, it was a good time.

[Bunny]

Again.

[Jason]

No, I was really happy last time.

[Haley]

All right, guys, we're gonna do a part two because we didn't get to tell too many of you guys a story. So next week, we will do a lot more vacation stories. Love you guys. See you guys next week.

[Bunny]

Bye.