Ask, Tell, Confess: Why Staying in a Toxic Relationship Will Ruin You

Summary

Episode Summary: "Ask, Tell, Confess: Why Staying in a Toxic Relationship Will Ruin You"

Podcast: Dumb Blonde
Host: Bunnie XO
Date: January 2, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Dumb Blonde—an "Ask, Tell, Confess" installment—dives deep into navigating toxic relationships, listening to gut instincts, and embracing self-love. The panel (Bunnie XO and friends) tackle listener confessions and questions, ranging from wild parenting moments to heartbreak and healing, blending hilarious banter with candid, heartfelt advice. The tone is fun and irreverent, but doesn’t shy away from real talk about trauma and hard truths around why staying in toxic situations, especially relationships, causes lasting harm.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Behind-the-Scenes Banter & Catch-up

[02:03–04:35]

• The hosts joke about filming multiple episodes in one day, holiday stress, and upcoming tours.
• Lighthearted chat about a dog’s bad breath degenerates into discussion of senior pets and their care, with playful denial about the dog aging.
  • Notable Quote:
    Kate (re: her dog): “Do not call him a senior dog...This guy is young and spry.” – [04:01]
• Logistics obsession among the crew is lovingly teased.

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2. Wild Parenting & Confessions

[07:46–12:14]

• Tick-Gate Story: A listener recounts her daughter eating what she thought was a fruit snack, but turned out to be a blood-swollen tick from the family dog.
  • Kate: "The little had blood gushing from her mouth...it had legs. It indeed was a swollen tick." – [07:50]
  • Group reacts with both horror and hilarity, discussing how kids view gross things as edible.
  • Mimi: “The really big ones? They look like gushers.” – [08:51]
• The conversation detours through experiences with ticks, checking for them, and a surprisingly graphic but still comedic thread about buttholes, hemorrhoids, and hernias.
  • Kate: “I've seen her. She's been through a lot online. I mean, do you know what your butthole looks like?” – [10:36]
  • Mimi (from a confession): “I took a picture of my butthole to see my hemorrhoids, and it’s actually kinda cute.” – [11:09]
• The crew is unfiltered, emphasizing their signature no-shame, open-book energy.

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3. Heartbreak, Loss, and Toxic Relationships

[12:21–18:44]

• Listener Loss Story: Bailey shares a confessor’s devastating account of losing her seven-year-old son in an accident while taking their dying dog on a walk.
  • Kate: "God, that's a baby...I'm so sorry for your loss." – [13:33]
  • The team responds with deep empathy, holding the space for grief.
• Relationship Confession: Anonymous listener describes her partner’s secretive online messaging and emotional manipulation, asking for advice.
  • Kate:
    “Anytime a man makes you feel like that, you don’t—sometimes you have to be okay with never getting the apology that you deserve or the answer or closure that you want...Removing your energy is going to be the biggest statement.” – [14:59]
  • Mimi:
    “Why would you want to be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with you?... When I held the power, it all changes. Your entire mindset changes.” – [16:19]
  • The hosts agree: if your partner’s hiding things, gaslighting, and making you feel less than, the healthiest option is to leave—even before everything’s perfect or clear.
  • Kate: "You don't deserve that. You deserve to be happy and free and, and find somebody who really loves you. Or better yet, fall in love with yourself." – [17:02]
• Staying “For the Kids” Myth: The crew dismantles the rationale behind staying with a partner just because of children, calling it outdated and damaging.
  • Kate: “Saying you’re staying together for the kids—complete cop out.” – [18:17]
  • Mimi: “You’re holding the kids on the ride... Don't do that, and ever. You’re going to end up [messing] your kids up more.” – [18:28]

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4. Comic Relief: Parenting and School Days

[19:10–22:27]

• Teen PowerPoint Confession:
  A parent shares that her 14-year-old was suspended for inserting a photo of an erect penis in a “construction” class PowerPoint.
  • Kate: “That boy’s gonna be a comedian one day.” – [19:34]
  • The crew laughs about their own school mischief and detentions, showing their empathy for kids who push boundaries.
• Stories emerge about suspension, parents getting involved, and the hosts’ own wild moves in school—including throwing desks and accidentally being involved in a huffing white-out incident.
  • Mimi: “I would call my mom before the school could and be like, ‘Hey, I just got kicked out of school. Do you want me to bring you lunch?’” – [20:11]
• Pep talk for those who struggled in school, with Mimi sharing her diagnosis of dyslexia later in life.
  • Kate: "Look at you now, you freaking...Just crushing it, memes." – [22:27]

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Do not call him a senior dog...This guy is young and spry.”
  — Kate [04:01]
• “The little had blood gushing from her mouth...it had legs. It indeed was a swollen tick.”
  — Kate [07:50]
• “I took a picture of my butthole to see my hemorrhoids, and it’s actually kinda cute.”
  — Mimi [11:09]
• “Anytime a man makes you feel like that, you don’t—sometimes you have to be okay with never getting the apology that you deserve...Removing your energy is going to be the biggest statement.”
  — Kate [14:59]
• “Why would you want to be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with you?”
  — Mimi [16:19]
• “Saying you’re staying together for the kids—complete cop out.”
  — Kate [18:17]
• “That boy’s gonna be a comedian one day.”
  — Kate [19:34]
• “Look at you now, you freaking...Just crushing it, memes.”
  — Kate [22:27]

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Major Takeaways

• Trust your gut in relationships: Intuition is rarely wrong. Emotional abuse and gaslighting are valid reasons to leave, even in the absence of "proof."
• Staying for the kids often does more harm than good; kids know when there’s no love or respect in the home.
• Self-love should be the priority; don’t waste years trying to fix people who aren’t invested.
• Comedy, even about taboo topics, can be a powerful tool for healing and honesty.
• The crew fosters a “no shame, no filter” zone—embracing all aspects of real, messy, modern life.

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For listeners seeking relatable takes on trauma, healing, and the chaos of raising kids, all delivered with humor and heart, this episode is classic Dumb Blonde: wild, real, and unexpectedly uplifting.

Transcript

[Host]

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[Bailey]

Confess hello friends.

[Host]

Welcome to another Ask home.

[Bailey]

Yeah, okay.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Kate]

He said. How is everybody today doing?

[Mimi]

Dandy.

[Host]

We are mass filming today.

[Kate]

So if you guys are wondering why.

[Host]

We'Re in the same outfits, it's pretty. Because that's what we're doing.

[Mimi]

Getting through the holidays.

[Bailey]

We are in the same outfit.

[Host]

Yes.

[Mimi]

Break it up a little bit.

[Kate]

We're good. We're good. It's just. You know what, it's the end of the year. We've got a lot of to do. And the season ends when? In January. Season ends in January and then it's book tour, baby.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So we're excited. I can't wait.

[Bailey]

None of us know what to talk about.

[Kate]

Yeah, we're not allowed to talk about anything.

[Mimi]

That was so she just went.

[Bailey]

We all just went silent.

[Kate]

I get yelled at any time I try to give details.

[Mimi]

I literally had her. I was like, we've talked enough.

[Kate]

Yeah, I literally. I hate it because I would tell you guys everything, but she would. Yeah, And I don't see anything wrong with that because at least people can start preparing and get ready. You know, things change.

[Mimi]

I like solidified details.

[Kate]

I mean, I think we're pretty solidified in we know where we're going, who.

[Mimi]

We'Re doing a thank you. Thank you so much for that.

[Host]

What happened?

[Mimi]

She called me a logistics. I'm very logistic keen on details.

[Kate]

Yes, she is. And it's annoying, you guys. My dog's breath smells so bad. Like, it. It's gotten worse in the past, like, six months. And somebody said that it might be a bad tooth in there, but I'm like, the dude don't have very many more teeth to.

[Mimi]

To get rid of those back ones, though, once they rot.

[Kate]

But what am I supposed to do? Just let them gum everything?

[Mimi]

You start going to softer foods for senior dogs.

[Kate]

Do not call him a senior dog.

[Guest]

I saw that coming.

[Bailey]

I saw red.

[Mimi]

Yeah, you.

[Kate]

This guy is young and spry.

[Mimi]

I'm trying to help him out here.

[Kate]

He's only seven.

[Mimi]

A little canned food.

[Kate]

He will be eight in May.

[Mimi]

Oh, seven and a half.

[Kate]

You're not old, honey. Don't listen to that turd. God. How dare you insult my damn dog. That is rude. All right, well, I'm gonna kick this off the air.

[Mimi]

Get sucked out of the room.

[Kate]

She said literally going to kick this off because I already know you were gonna try to steal the one I got. We all all sitting here reading the same one and went, oh, so you guys wrote in on our Facebook page and on our YouTube. If over there, you can be a part of Askel Confess.

[Host]

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[Kate]

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[Kate]

Strap in Kate she said. Well, not my story, but I did receive a quick call from My bestie, while she was in a panic, her two year old daughter. This girl gives us a run for our money. Was eating fruit snacks when Bestie noticed something dripping from her mouth. She quickly ran over to examine what was going on. The little had blood gushing from her mouth. Bessie picked up the fruit snack and it had legs. It indeed was a swollen tick that fell off their dog. It was blood from the tick. From the dog. Oh, and the dog is being treated for limes. So she quickly called the nurse's line and the nurse clearly had to make some calls. When she got a call back, Little had stumped four nurses and three pediatricians. They were told to watch her closely in the upcoming days. And all is well with Little until our next crazy adventure.

[Mimi]

I'm crying because I'm gagging so bad.

[Kate]

What would make that little girl think a tick looked scrumptious? What about a tick is tantalizing for a child?

[Mimi]

The really big ones, they look like gushers. I don't know if you've ever seen them on like, like cows and horses. The really big ones look like.

[Kate]

I never thought they looked like a gusher. They look like.

[Bailey]

I mean, when you're like, little, you.

[Kate]

Probably don't know anybody goddamn legs.

[Mimi]

That's true. I mean, that is true.

[Kate]

I've never once.

[Mimi]

And I bet you it was like very docile though, because that means it was like full. Full docile. All right. Why is he flexing his butthole like that?

[Bailey]

Ew, it's talking to us.

[Kate]

Okay, Crunchy. Alan Jackson, get up here right now. God, this dog just strutting around. You gotta poop. I just. The, the whole tick thing is disgusting.

[Mimi]

I freak out with ticks. Have you guys ever had a tick on you and then like when you pull it off, like you can literally feel the crunch?

[Bailey]

No. What?

[Mimi]

I just crunch.

[Kate]

I had one in my head and.

[Host]

You could feel it.

[Kate]

It's like when you pull it off because you can feel like ripping.

[Mimi]

Stop.

[Kate]

Because it's got its like hooks in you.

[Mimi]

It does so. Digs its head into your skin. I pulled one off my arm the other day, but I. I felt like for like the next hour, I was like.

[Kate]

Because it's like a venom that they have or something.

[Bailey]

Yeah.

[Kate]

It's like numbs. Have you ever had one? Yeah.

[Bailey]

I grew up in the Midwest.

[Kate]

I thought I had right in our backyard one time. Remember when I found that mole?

[Mimi]

You made me look and I.

[Kate]

And I thought it was a tick.

[Mimi]

Yeah. She bent over the couch, she said, hey, I Need you to check in for ticks.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was a mole and my little mole in the hole that looked like a tick.

[Mimi]

We all checked it.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

I think you just wanted to show us your butthole.

[Kate]

Yeah, I never want to show anybody my butthole. I mean, she's cute, though. But I've seen her. She's been through a lot online. She's been through a lot online. I mean, do you know what your butthole looks like?

[Guest]

Honestly? No.

[Kate]

You've never spread your cheeks in the mirror?

[Mimi]

I.

[Guest]

No, I have done that, but I'm not as, like, agile to, like, see, look back, you know? Like.

[Kate]

No, you just look in the mirror.

[Guest]

But my mirror's kind of high, so whenever, like.

[Kate]

You've never put a mirror on the floor?

[Guest]

I never tried standing on the counter, though.

[Kate]

Or you could get, you know, one of those. Take a selfie.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Or no. Or get one of those mirrors that, like, goes up against the wall and you lay it on the ground and you just squat over it.

[Guest]

Never thought about that.

[Mimi]

One of my confessors literally says, I took a picture of my butthole to see my hemorrhoids, and it's actually kind of cute. That was one of my confessions.

[Guest]

The hemorrhoid.

[Mimi]

That's what that person said? Yeah.

[Kate]

Have you ever had a hemorrhoid?

[Mimi]

Oh, for sure.

[Kate]

What'd you get them from? Pushing too much, I think.

[Guest]

Pushing too much? Yeah.

[Bailey]

You're a pooper.

[Guest]

I'm a pooper?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah. But it's like, I've definitely had them before, but I didn't know what they were previously. Like, maybe to, like, maybe six months ago.

[Kate]

Have you ever had a hemi? No. Lucky you. Really not that tight little sphincter.

[Mimi]

Got one when I was pregnant.

[Kate]

Keep lifting weights, you'll have one.

[Mimi]

It's gonna pop out.

[Kate]

Sorry.

[Mimi]

Yay.

[Guest]

Have you ever had a hernia?

[Mimi]

He's upset.

[Guest]

No, those suck.

[Kate]

No. Had you had a hernia?

[Guest]

Oh, for sure.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Bailey]

What is a hernia?

[Guest]

It's, like, in your stomach. It, like, kind of your. I don't know how it is exactly, but your separates. Separates, and it becomes like, a little ball. It's like a hemorrhoid on your body.

[Mimi]

Yeah. So your muscle separates and part of, like, your guts kind of come out.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Kate]

The.

[Guest]

You need certain.

[Mimi]

A lot of people get a millionaire stuff.

[Kate]

Can we get off this? All right, who's next? Who's next? Sometimes I think we forget we have microphones in front of us.

[Mimi]

We do a lot.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Yeah, go ahead. I just Read mine.

[Kate]

What happened?

[Bailey]

Mine's just a sad one.

[Kate]

Oh, God. Leave it to you to go to the next killer.

[Mimi]

Don't gotta go in order.

[Bailey]

My next one was the tick one.

[Mimi]

Oh, I only got one.

[Bailey]

Okay, okay. This person said I wanted to send the story of how I lost my son. We were teaching him that. Our 14 year old. I'm.

[Kate]

Are you kidding? That's the vibes we're bringing. Okay, you know what? Everybody's confessions mean a lot to us.

[Bailey]

I know. Okay.

[Kate]

I'm not mentally prepared for this, but go ahead.

[Host]

Yep.

[Bailey]

We were teaching him that. Our 14 year old dog was dying. He had a great idea to take her for a few walks back the road from our house to have special time with her before she left us. It's a woods road. So on our first walk, I was ahead of him a bit. And then I hear screaming. He was climbing a pile of huge logs and they tumbled on top of him. I ran as fast as I could to him, called 91 1. It took 18 minutes before anyone came. They worked on him, but it was of no use. In that instance, a double rainbow appeared and he was gone. That was four years ago now. On October 18th. He was seven years old.

[Kate]

God, that's a baby.

[Bailey]

I know.

[Kate]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Bailey]

I know I don't know this person's name, but we love you.

[Kate]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's horrific. Dude.

[Bailey]

I'm sorry to say that one after the tick one, I didn't.

[Kate]

Hi.

[Bailey]

It made me so sad.

[Kate]

Okay, well, all right. Well, that's terrible. Thanks, Haley, for sharing with us. You want to go next memes while you. Okay. All right, let me see if I can lighten the mood a little bit here. That was a rough one. That was a rough one. All right, how about this one? Please keep me anonymous. If your husband has been caught messaging and deleting messages on Facebook and confront him with these things and he lies to you, then gets offensive and trying to blame me for not having sex with him. He deleted messages, has someone messaging at 5:30am and is always putting me down. Are my gut feelings correct? He's talking with other women and I'm just a dumbass for saying, how do I get him to have a real conversation without being hateful and do and downright rude. How can I trust what he says?

[Bailey]

Well, go with your gut intuition.

[Kate]

Yeah, well, it's not only that. I think you answered your own question. And anytime a man makes you feel like that, you don't sometimes you have to be okay with never getting the apology that you deserve or the answer or closure that you want. And you need to remove your energy. That is going to be the biggest statement to that man, is you withdrawing from his life and shutting him out completely.

[Mimi]

100.

[Bailey]

I think it's only going to hurt her more.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Bailey]

Finding out the truth rather than just leaving.

[Kate]

Yeah. And if he's already lying and hiding it, he knows he's doing something wrong 100%. If he's not cheating on you already, the intention is there and that's just as worse. And emotional cheating is way worse than fudgeing somebody else. I don't care what anybody says. I would, I would rather the person I'm with somebody else than have a continuous relationship, emotional relationship with them.

[Mimi]

Absolutely.

[Kate]

So I think you know the answer to your own questions. You just need confirmation. And you know, if you are feeling really weak right now, that's normal. You know, like a lot of women when they're in those situations, they don't want to leave or they want to try to make the man love them more or they want to try to compete with the women that he's, you know, cheating with. And you're never going to win.

[Mimi]

Why would you want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you?

[Kate]

Exactly.

[Mimi]

I, I, when I was young and dumb, I used to always like be super self conscious and these guys would cheat on me and all that kind of stuff. And then one day I was just like why would I want someone who doesn't want me? And when I held the power, it all changes. Your entire mindset changes in that moment.

[Kate]

Yeah. If you're in the position to leave, leave. Even if you're not in the position to leave, leave.

[Mimi]

Start making the, the moves towards that. Yeah, absolutely. Because use that's gaslighting too.

[Host]

Use your pain for purpose.

[Kate]

You know, like you don't want to just be beaten down and literally staying is going to cause more trauma to yourself.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You don't deserve that. You deserve to be happy and free and, and find somebody who really loves you. Or better yet, fall in love with yourself.

[Mimi]

Yeah. The best love you can have is self love.

[Kate]

If I could go back to my past, I would have not wasted so much time on men. I would have literally done my own thing, been way I was independent. I didn't need anybody. Nobody ever supported me or helped me. It was always me supporting them. Like relationships are cool but they're a lot of work and you know, it needs to Be beneficial and mutual, respect wise and just the relationship. You guys have to wake up every day and choose each other and choose not to hurt the other person, especially on purpose. He knows what he's doing.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Kate]

He's deleting stuff. He doesn't want you to see it because he knows he's wrong. So I hope that helped you and give us an update later on down the road and let us know if you took our advice or not.

[Mimi]

I saw one of the confessors say that she's only staying with her significant other because they have kids. And I'm like, that's not healthy for years or years. Like kids. Like, that's way worse than staying together.

[Bailey]

My parents.

[Mimi]

Did you stay together for the kids? I think that's such an old mindset.

[Kate]

It's a. It's a cop out.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You guys are saying that you're staying together for the kids, but you guys are both too lazy to move on and do the work. You guys are in such a toxic situation that it's like a toxic merry go round. And you guys are addicted to that, you know?

[Mimi]

And you're holding the kids on the ride.

[Kate]

Nothing to do with the kids because the kids know that you guys hate each other. We've always known. We can hear the arguments. We can see it. We know when there's love in the house and when there's not. So staying for kids is a complete cop out.

[Mimi]

Yeah. 100%. Don't do that.

[Kate]

Ever. You're going to end up your kids up more.

[Mimi]

Yeah. It really. She said. All right. I already talked about buttholes. Okay.

[Kate]

I mean, we already had a. We already found out that Jaime's got little dingleberries.

[Bailey]

Wait, did I miss that?

[Kate]

Hemorrhoids. Okay.

[Guest]

You were just like a bloody dingleberry.

[Kate]

Balls.

[Bailey]

Yes.

[Mimi]

No. He talked about washing his ass.

[Guest]

You gotta wash your ass.

[Mimi]

This one said. Happened to me this week with my 14 year old son. He got suspended from school. The reason? He submitted an assignment for construction class. And in the PowerPoint talking about erecting things, he put a photo of a fully erect penis. Parenting as a teenager these days is not for the faint of heart. And that's for sure. Someone please send help.

[Kate]

I think that's genius and hilarious. He should have got. I get that it was inappropriate because it's school and they have to penalize him for that, but that boy's gonna be a comedian one day.

[Mimi]

That's hilarious.

[Bailey]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

That's like such a cash move.

[Kate]

Yeah. Oh, literally.

[Mimi]

Such a cash move. Yeah.

[Kate]

That's Funny.

[Mimi]

Damn good for him.

[Kate]

I would have gone and bought him ice cream. I'd have been like, you're just like your dad.

[Mimi]

I got in trouble in school one time, and my mom. Liter. Really ended up just like, okay, you're not in actual trouble. Over it. So many times, really? Oh, my gosh. I was. I would call my mom before the school could and be like, hey, I just got kicked out of school. Do you want me to bring you lunch? Or what do you. You want Taco Bell? I can swing by on my way home sort of thing.

[Bailey]

Like, never even got.

[Mimi]

I threw a desk at a teacher one time, called her a. And threw a desk at her because she took my phone out of my purse.

[Guest]

I would light you up, Mimi.

[Mimi]

Bro, I. I was in detention all the time. I would fight. I would.

[Bailey]

The one with 30 chickens.

[Mimi]

Yeah. In middle school, I got suspended because this kid was huffing paint, and I didn't know it, and I went up and hit the bag. He had dumped a bunch of white out in it. And they said I was assisting in it. That's the time I was talking about. My mom went there, and she was like, are you not listening to her words? She didn't do it. And the assistant principal was like, no, she assisted in the drugs. Those kill brain cells. My mom's like, get the out of here. And so she just took me home.

[Bailey]

Wait.

[Kate]

I can't get past the fact that he was huffing white out.

[Bailey]

I know.

[Kate]

That was a thing either.

[Mimi]

I know.

[Kate]

I knew about the gold paint, but not.

[Mimi]

You can empty the white out into a bag and I use white out.

[Bailey]

To paint my nails.

[Kate]

God, I'm so glad I didn't become a huffer in my. I've done a lot of. But huffing is rough.

[Mimi]

Rough on the brain.

[Kate]

So rough.

[Mimi]

Yeah. So. But yeah, I got. Dude, I literally couldn't stay in school to save my life. I. I hated school.

[Guest]

I loved it.

[Bailey]

Did you ever get suspended?

[Guest]

No.

[Mimi]

Me either.

[Bailey]

No.

[Mimi]

Good for you.

[Kate]

You're good, you dorks.

[Bailey]

Yeah, I used to sit in the secretary, like, office.

[Guest]

I wasn't a teacher.

[Kate]

Oh, you're Bailey. That's how Bailey is.

[Guest]

Yeah. I wasn't a teacher's pet, but I was pretty. I mean, I was, like, next to it. Like, they just didn't mess with, like, they just knew I wasn't going to do anything.

[Mimi]

Reading the part in your book about, like, that last time, like, the final kind of straw that sent me.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

Sent me.

[Kate]

Yeah. My teachers hated me. I was not a good student. I was not very studious. Still, I'm not studious.

[Host]

I will fall asleep.

[Kate]

You can't put me in a seminar or anything. I just automatically start 100. I can't do it.

[Mimi]

Also found out.

[Kate]

Is that an ADD thing or an ADHD thing?

[Mimi]

Yeah, it's like the attention deficit of it. Like you're being able to see. I found out way later in life, though, that I'm dyslexic. So I just always thought I was bad at school. Like, my entire life I was bad at school. And then in my adulthood, I was like, oh, that's dyslexia. I got it now.

[Kate]

Look at you now, you freaking. Yeah, you're just crushing it at life memes. So proud of you. All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of Ass, Drunk and Pounds. See you guys next week.

[Host]

Bye.

[Kate]

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