Ask, Tell, Confess: Why Was the Cucumber Wet at Zaxby’s

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde – "Ask, Tell, Confess: Why Was the Cucumber Wet at Zaxby’s"
Episode Date: May 15, 2026
Host: Bunnie XO
Guests/Co-hosts: Dustin, Confetti

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Overview

In this riotously candid episode, Bunnie XO and her co-hosts Dustin and Confetti dive into raunchy confessions, personal anecdotes, and wild listener submissions. The group discusses everything from bizarre fast food discoveries to revenge relationships, mishaps with pool jets, and advice on coming out. True to the Dumb Blonde style, the conversation is hilarious, raw, and often veers into the territory of TMI, all delivered in a spirit of camaraderie and relatability.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. The Mysterious Wet Cucumber at Zaxby’s ([04:11–06:13])

• Confetti shares a video her friends took at Zaxby’s – someone found a very girthy cucumber, complete with a condom, left in the restaurant parking lot.
• Group speculation:
  • “Someone was getting down in the Zaxby's.” – Confetti ([04:47])
  • “In the butt, you think? In the butt, for sure, it's curved.” – Confetti ([04:52])
  • “Why is it all white?” – Bunny ([05:25])
• The crew debates the odds of someone using veggies for pleasure at a fried chicken chain.
• Banter about favorite Zaxby’s menu items and the disappointment of discontinued favorites.

2. Pears Up the Butt: Odd High School Tales ([08:53–10:24])

• Dustin recounts overhearing high school classmates talk about playing with pears during drunken nights.
• Group explores the blurred line between experimentation and sexuality, emphasizing the difference between activity and identity.
• Notable quote:
  • “Pair not gay, dick, gay.” – Confetti ([10:20])
  • “Having your best friend shove a pear up your ass is not gay. But hey, we only wait till our mom leaves…” – Bunny ([10:24])
• They joke about fruit choices and why not just use more conventional options.

3. Emotional Cheating & OnlyFans Dilemmas ([10:40–13:28])

• A listener confesses to falling for an OnlyFans creator while having a partner and stepdaughters.
• Hosts dismantle the fantasy:
  • “She's being nice to you because you're paying her.” – Confetti ([11:32])
  • “If you’re still giving her any sort of monetary compensation, that is the only reason she’s talking to you… Let’s call a spade a spade.” – Bunny ([11:45])
• Bunnie and co-hosts urge honesty with his wife and question the sustainability of relationships based on paid interactions.

4. The Revenge Marriage: Marrying the Boyfriend’s Dad ([13:36–15:32])

• A listener reveals she got revenge on a cheating boyfriend… by marrying his father and having two kids, becoming his stepmother.
• “That was like an abrupt turn.” – Bunny ([14:08])
• Hosts express concern about making major life decisions out of spite:
  • “That right there alone is, like, going to give you an autoimmune disorder… If you have that much anger and unforgiveness in your heart, it’s going to come out in other ways later in life.” – Bunny ([15:09])
• Discussion of family fallout, karma, and the perils of letting grudges rule.

5. Mouse Nest in the Penis Pump ([16:10–17:27])

• Wild domestic confession: a couple finds baby mice living in a penis pump in their bedroom drawer.
• “You could never use that penis pump ever again. I hope they didn’t use it again, y’all.” – Bunny ([17:22])
• Humorous debate over pest control, country living, and what to do with unwelcome house guests.

6. Laxative Disaster: Sticky Note Shame ([21:12–24:20])

• Dustin shares his late sister's infamous hookup story: she took laxatives thinking they were Tylenol, soiled the bed mid-coitus, and woke to find a Walmart bag and a sticky note: “Please don’t contact me again.”
• “The sticky note? You could have just left. I think she would have known.” – Confetti ([22:19])
• Disbelief at the guy’s handling of the situation and musings on shame and support during intimate disasters.

7. Hippie Days & Public Sex ([24:27–26:10])

• Listener reminisces about the hippie era, streaking and having public sex in wild places.
• Discussion of the difference between being a “nympho” and a “voyeur.”
• “We love that for her.” – Bunny ([25:51])

8. Advice: Coming Out to Family ([26:10–28:14])

• Young listener Jack asks how to come out as gay.
• Group emphasizes caution and context, acknowledging family background’s importance.
  • “There’s nothing better in this life than living authentically in the skin that you’re in.” – Bunny ([27:06])
• They encourage Jack to provide more context for tailored advice and express support.

9. Pool Jet Enema Mishap ([30:35–34:16])

• Hilarious tale: listener experimenting with sitting on a pool jet to make her friend laugh results in an accidental “pool enema” and runaway bowel disaster.
• Group shares jet stories, pool experiences, and poop anecdotes.
  • “She gave herself an enema. Damn.” – Bunny ([31:26])
  • “You could put water up your butt like Mountain spring water up your ass. And that's an enema, too.” – Bunny ([32:40])
• Extended riff about enemas, family group chats, and the pride of a well-formed poop.

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Notable Quotes

• “Somebody probably filmed some OF content. You like Zaxby’s that much?” – Bunny ([05:44])
• “Dude’s having a hard time accepting the fact that he might be bi. If you’re waiting until your mom leaves the house, you know you’re doing something wrong.” – Bunny ([09:42])
• “Sugar daddies? Yeah, it depended on how long. I had quite a few older rich men fall in love with me… but I just could never do that.” – Bunny ([12:22])
• “That was a very manic decision.” – Bunny ([15:09])
• “Trauma dick is wild.” – Confetti ([19:56])
• “Burn the whole down. Poogie. I'm over it.” – Bunny ([21:09])
• “There’s nothing better in this life than living authentically in the skin that you’re in.” – Bunny ([27:06])

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Overall Vibe & Tone

• Unapologetically blunt, irreverent humor
• Mix of shock, empathy, and advice—from “praise queen” to “you need therapy”
• Nothing is too taboo to discuss—from revenge marriages to pool-induced enemas
• Underneath the wild stories is a thread of solidarity, affirmation, and support

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Zaxby’s Cucumber Mystery: [04:11–06:13]
• Pears & High School Experimentation: [08:53–10:24]
• OnlyFans Emotional Entanglement: [10:40–13:28]
• Revenge Marriage Confession: [13:36–15:32]
• Mice Nest in Sex Toys: [16:10–17:27]
• Laxative Hookup Mishap: [21:12–24:20]
• Hippie Voyeuristic Tales: [24:27–26:10]
• Coming Out Advice: [26:10–28:14]
• Pool Jet Enema Story: [30:35–34:16]

---

If you love wild, hilarious confessions with a mix of mature advice and no-holds-barred authenticity, this episode is a must-listen. You’ll cringe, laugh, and maybe even relate a little too closely.

Transcript

[Bunny]

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[Confetti]

I ask, tell confess. I ask fast.

[Bunny]

Hello, friends. Welcome to another ask a church.

[Confetti]

I sent a video in the chat the other day. Do you remember Winnie the Pooh? And there's the beaver.

[Dustin]

There's a beaver and win. Nope. Don't. Nope.

[Confetti]

That's literally Bunny.

[Bunny]

I love him.

[Confetti]

In Winnie the Pooh or in Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, there was a beaver. It is literally Bunny.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

How's everybody doing? We're all wearing our shirts from Jason today.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Confetti]

You guys saw last episode?

[Bunny]

Yep.

[Confetti]

Yep.

[Bunny]

How are you guys doing? You guys got some confessions for us to read today?

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Confetti]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Oh, you guys got some good ones. You've been starting off the past two.

[Confetti]

I brought a video to the table. Oh, can you turn the TV on for me?

[Sponsor Voice]

Scared.

[Confetti]

Oh, and my friend Chat the other day.

[Bunny]

Friend chat.

[Confetti]

Dustin and Amy, okay, they went to. So they come over every week and mow our lawn. They have a lawn care service and they left our house and we're like, we're gonna go to lunch, right? I have to show you guys what they found.

[Bunny]

Okay.

[Confetti]

I made her send me a video.

[Bunny]

Eat the beef, Smell the queef up on this bad boy. Look at it.

[Dustin]

What.

[Bunny]

What is that?

[Dustin]

A cucumber with a condom over it?

[Confetti]

Someone was getting down in the Zaxby's.

[Bunny]

What was that used for?

[Confetti]

In the butt, you think? In the butt, for sure, it's curved.

[Dustin]

But they're at Zaxby's. That's a nice. That's a nice cucumber.

[Bunny]

That is. It's. Why is it.

[Confetti]

Look at. In comparison to Dustin's foot, though? That's the length of his foot.

[Bunny]

That looks like a squash. Oh, are we sure that's a cucumber? Maybe a zucchini. Yeah, like a zucchini.

[Dustin]

I don't know, but it's girthy.

[Bunny]

Golly, that hurt. I. I wonder where that thing's been. We could only ponder.

[Confetti]

Yeah, it looks all lubed up, too. It's very wet.

[Bunny]

Why is it all white?

[Confetti]

That she said there's something in it.

[Bunny]

Ew.

[Confetti]

Dude, do you think that the condom was used when they put it on the cucumber?

[Dustin]

Look at the tip.

[Bunny]

Listen, people have way too much time on their hands, man.

[Confetti]

I don't know. I'm not a fan of Zaxby's enough to want to put something in my Somebody film.

[Bunny]

Somebody's is great. Somebody probably filmed some of content.

[Confetti]

You like Zaxby's that much?

[Dustin]

I mean, not to take a cucumber up my ass.

[Bunny]

She's like, but I'll do some tricks for some chicken fingers. The Nashville Hot chicken fingers. I just saw their damn commercial the other day. Last night. Actually.

[Dustin]

Actually, no. They took away their club sandwich, which I hope Zaxby's hears this. And I've never been back since.

[Confetti]

Oh, it pissed me off when they got rid of the birthday cake shake and try to come back with it, and it was not the birthday cake shake. You're a liar. Pissed me off.

[Dustin]

Pissed me up.

[Confetti]

Yeah, I was pregnant with, I think, cash when that one came out, and it had, like, a chocolate frosting on it. Damn it. That was good.

[Bunny]

I've just. I'll take a shake any day. I'm freaking.

[Dustin]

It does sound.

[Bunny]

I wish I could have a shake.

[Confetti]

I feel like I'd throw up if I had a shake right now.

[Dustin]

Oh, yeah.

[Bunny]

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[Dustin]

may or may not go along with this. Okay. In high school in my FFA class, I overheard these two boys who were sitting beside me talking about whenever they get drunk, they stick pears up each other's butts. I interrupted their combo and asked if I heard what they said correctly and they said yes. They acted like it was normal and no big deal. I then asked, I'm not gonna judge or anything but like, are you all gay? And one of the boys said no and that he had a girlfriend. Another question I asked was, how do you not get caught doing that? And the boy that had a girlfriend, his response was, we just wait till my mom leaves the house. I was in shock and disgusted and they just kept saying, we are drunk when we do it. It's not a big deal. I obviously had other thoughts and questions in my mind, but I was already too disturbed to really say anything else.

[Bunny]

So dude's having a hard time accepting the fact that he might be bi. If you're waiting until your mom leaves the house, you know you're doing something wrong. So why?

[Confetti]

That's a very soft fruit.

[Bunny]

Soft? It's round and bulbous. Dude, whose is that big?

[Dustin]

Which end?

[Confetti]

Yeah, you gotta start on the small end.

[Dustin]

I hope they start on.

[Bunny]

I don't Know man, why a pair

[Dustin]

start with a cucumber?

[Confetti]

Have you ever stuck something inside of you?

[Bunny]

Why not a dick at this point

[Confetti]

to go inside of you dick is

[Bunny]

probably a lot more comfortable than a.

[Dustin]

They probably think that is gay.

[Bunny]

Yeah, that's crossing

[Confetti]

the line. Pair not gay dick, gay.

[Bunny]

Having your best friend shove a pair up your ass is not gay. But hey, we only wait till our mom leaves, so. Yeah, well, that's crazy too. Yeah. All right, well, okay, thanks. Thanks, Haley.

[Dustin]

You're welcome.

[Bunny]

Oh, my turn, my turn, my turn. So around seven weeks ago, I saw a TikTok of a girl and her cat. I was instantly, to say the least, attracted to her. To cut a long story short, she's an only fans girl. So I got myself an account and followed her. We've been talking daily ever since and we seem to have such a beautiful mutual connection and I'm happy to see it flourish. She knows I have a partner and father to two stepdaughters and we have a 20 year age gap which we are both comfortable with. I absolutely adore to the bones of this girl and it scares the out of me. What do I. What do I do?

[Dustin]

He has a partner.

[Bunny]

He has a partner and two little girls who call him stepdad.

[Dustin]

So. Okay, so what? Also what do we need? Help.

[Confetti]

She's being nice to you because you're paying her.

[Bunny]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Dustin]

It's like going to the strip club and being like she loves me. Like, sorry, that's what it sounds like. If you guys are talking like off the app, off the only fans thing. I get what you're saying.

[Bunny]

No, but if there's any. If you're even if you're talking off the app and you're still giving her any sort of monetary compensation, that is the only reason she's talking to you and take away the money and, and see, and listen, I'm not trying to be a hater because girl, get your bag. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time it's like let's call a spade a spade. I was one of those girls. I had so many sugar daddies that I took money from and literally had a man that was my man sleeping next to me. Yes, I would have my ex boyfriends call my sugar daddies and pull licks with me, you know.

[Dustin]

So now how often would they fall in love with you like that?

[Bunny]

Sugar daddies? Yeah, it depended on how long. I had quite a few old older rich men fall in love with me that wanted to marry me, but I just could never do that. But this girl for sure is taking him for a ride and the 20 year age gap kind of concerns me because you have two stepdaughters.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

How old are they?

[Dustin]

Yeah, how old is the girl you're talking to?

[Bunny]

Yeah, how old is the girl you're talking to? Like I, you know, the grass always seems greener but I promise you it's not.

[Confetti]

Dude. No.

[Bunny]

Like yeah. And you're no, you're essentially you are emotionally cheating financially cheating because if you've made an only fans you're for sure you had to pay the subscription.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

You're already checked out. So the best thing you could do is tell your partner and either you guys separate or if she's on board with it and you guys have some sort of agreement, cool. Can continue on. But I genuinely think you need to tell your wife what's going on and yeah, yeah.

[Confetti]

Hate to break it to you, she don't love you.

[Bunny]

No, for sure. Take the money away and see how long she talks to you.

[Confetti]

Exactly like and you probably had to pay her to slide into her DMs

[Bunny]

on of yeah, I'm sure.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Confetti]

Okay. So this one says I met a boy in middle school, fell madly in love. I came from a toxic family and it was hell. So first chance I got, I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. Well, everything was good at first and before I knew it, after a few years he was staying at his brothers and leaving me behind until I realized he had been cheating on me. So I sold and married his dad. I damn

[Dustin]

took a turn.

[Bunny]

I mean and that was, that was like an abrupt turn.

[Confetti]

Had two kids with him. Let's just say I'm now his stepmom. This won't ever forget my name or how he did me dirty. So I did him dirty. Since my husband has since passed being 20 years older than me. And now I remarried and I'm living the life I deserve with my two children that are now his little brothers. Haha. Karma is a. And hopefully it taught him a life lesson not to over a mentally unstable person. Lol. I hope this finds its way onto the podcast.

[Dustin]

I like that you read.

[Confetti]

Lol. Yeah, no, I had to add that in there.

[Bunny]

Yeah. You know, listen, I don't want to hate the player or the game, but I think that was a little overkill.

[Confetti]

I do feel like she did it purely out of spite and didn't actually love the dad because now you're saying that you deserve but.

[Bunny]

And you brought two kids into this world out of spite.

[Confetti]

Out of spite. Yeah.

[Bunny]

I don't know. I just feel like that's. That right there alone is, like, going to give you an autoimmune disorder, you know, like, if you have that much anger and unforgiveness in your heart, it's going to come out in other ways later on in life. And I'm not dogging you, girl. At all. I get it. We've all done up shit for revenge. But, I mean, that was. That was a very manic decision.

[Dustin]

Yes.

[Confetti]

I was like, you really stuck to that.

[Bunny]

Yeah. And I get it, man. Getting cheated on is the worst fudgeing feeling ever. And you really, really want to fudgeing. Get those people back when. Whenever they hurt you like that.

[Confetti]

But maybe slash his tires.

[Bunny]

Those babies. Yeah, those babies, you know, and. And do those. Does he have a relationship with his little brothers now because of the whole situation?

[Confetti]

Because there could be a spike thing there. It's like he doesn't want a relationship.

[Dustin]

Or did that come between him and his dad?

[Bunny]

Yeah. How was the relationship with him and his dad? Like, did you cause a rift between a son and a father? It's just like. I don't know. There's just so many.

[Dustin]

Hey.

[Confetti]

She recognizes her issues. We love an accountable.

[Dustin]

Sure.

[Bunny]

We love, love, love, love. A queen that takes accountability. And I'm glad she's living her best life now. Yeah, I love that. My partner and I bought a house in the country last year and have been battling a mouse problem. We finally felt like we got it under control. I was home from work one day, and my dog was fixated on my partner's nightstand. Like he would. Like he would track down critters in other parts of the house. I open the top drawer and see nothing. Close it. Open the bottom drawer. Well, that's where we keep all of our adult toys. When I open the bottom drawer, there is a nest of shredded paper and six pink baby mice in his penis pump. I was beyond baffled. I FaceTimed him at work, and the look of disbelief was incredible, but so valid. We've been so tickled by this and wanted to tell someone because it's hilarious. So this is my throwaway account. I've been waiting all week to share this with y'. All.

[Dustin]

Oh, in the penis pump as well. Did they take a picture? Because I want to see it.

[Bunny]

They burrowed.

[Confetti]

They burrowed in.

[Bunny]

They burrowed in because it's like a little hamster cage.

[Confetti]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bunny]

Yeah. You could never use a. That penis pump ever again. I hope they didn't use it again, y'.

[Dustin]

All.

[Bunny]

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[Bunny]

is dude got a penis pump. Those things don't even really work anymore. My ex used to use when I've told you guys, I walked in on him in the closet.

[Confetti]

Oh, in the closet. I remember that one.

[Bunny]

And I mean he already had a hog on him. So it was like you refer to

[Confetti]

it as a hog.

[Bunny]

Yeah. Like, so I'm like, what are we doing? Like, it didn't do anything different.

[Confetti]

Yeah, it's trauma.

[Bunny]

It stretches the penis out and, like, hurts it more. I don't think it, like, trauma dick is wild. Maybe they like it because it makes all the blood rush to it. Maybe for assist sensitivity thing, but. Yeah. No, that's hilarious. I hope you guys bomb the out of your house, though. I would freak out with that many mice next to my bed. Oh, God, yeah.

[Dustin]

What do you do with the mice?

[Bunny]

I'd like to know where they went in the toilet. Yep, yep. Listen, I free. Listen, I free ladybugs. I do all of that. But mice living in your house? You got to make an example.

[Dustin]

Take it out.

[Confetti]

No, we. I do. I live in the country. I got a cat for this exact reason, because we have little mice out in the chicken coops and in the barn, and I can't handle that. And I'm terrified of them getting to the house. So we. You guys all know the series of barn cat scar, but that right there. What were they doing while you were sleeping? That's what I would like to know. Were they running on your bed?

[Dustin]

Oh, stop. Chills. Yeah, think about it.

[Bunny]

Flush the whole house down the drain. I can't do it.

[Confetti]

Burn the whole.

[Bunny]

Burn the whole down. Poogie. I'm over it.

[Dustin]

What do we got? One. Okay, this is from Sierra. Not mine, but my sister's story. And she's no longer with us, so I'm gonna tell it. This is only for you because you like and buttholes. She said my sister had a thing with this guy. Hideous, in my opinion. I was 21 at the time. We were all drinking, and my sister's friend ends up walking me home. My sister had a migraine. She gets in her purse and takes what she thought is Tylenol. Oh, no, they were laxatives. Her and dude end up doing the deed. I was not there for this, but as my sister told it, he was coming and said, wow, you're so wet. Then said, do you smell my sister? His whole bed. And it was graphic. She ran to the bathroom and threw herself in the shower to wash the off. She came out to him, nowhere to be seen, with a Walmart bag on top of her shoes with her filled pants and a sticky note that said, please don't contact me again.

[Confetti]

The sticky note you could have just left. I think she would have known.

[Bunny]

Sticky notes.

[Confetti]

Wild.

[Dustin]

How did you know where a sticky note was?

[Bunny]

She was in his house. Yeah.

[Dustin]

But where'd he go? Oh, that was. Oh, yeah, it was his house.

[Bunny]

Yeah, that's.

[Confetti]

He left his house.

[Bunny]

That's even.

[Confetti]

That motherfucker went on a drive. He said, I gotta go. He said, I need a sink big.

[Bunny]

Yeah. My thing is, is I don't care how much diarrhea I have. I know when it's coming out.

[Confetti]

Yeah. You didn't know that she was drinking at all?

[Dustin]

She was drinking and laxative.

[Confetti]

That's.

[Dustin]

She probably felt like she was just, like, finishing and it was from a different hole.

[Bunny]

Oh, gosh.

[Confetti]

You know how he the into her?

[Bunny]

Because I went on her. Were they doing anal? Were they doing anal?

[Dustin]

I don't know.

[Bunny]

I have so many questions.

[Confetti]

I have somebody going.

[Bunny]

I mean, I. I'm really into the story. I gotta know. I'm like, no one got me. Listen, guys, listen. We need full context. I need every last detail because my mind wanders, you know, like, is it the.

[Dustin]

I want to know if it's the Walmart bag with the smiley face on it.

[Bunny]

I want to know where he found a pin and a sticky note, like

[Dustin]

in that amount of time.

[Confetti]

So quick.

[Bunny]

Yeah, so quick. While she's in the shower. Poor girl. And that's not.

[Dustin]

That's.

[Bunny]

Listen, dude, that dude sucks.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Okay. Like, let's really talk about it. That dude sucks.

[Confetti]

He should have been helping you out. Hey, let's wipes out or something.

[Bunny]

Are you okay? Like, holy. I'm so sorry that this happened.

[Confetti]

Like, that man ain't.

[Bunny]

Yeah, he ain't. I'm sure. You know what? He probably the bed one time after that.

[Dustin]

Maybe it was his.

[Bunny]

Yeah, it could have been his. Wasn't even the sisters. Yeah. I've got so many questions.

[Confetti]

Wait, I can't choose between the two. I think I'm gonna go with this one. My hubby and I are nymphos. Back in the hippies.

[Bunny]

Like, sex, I mean, all the time.

[Dustin]

Okay.

[Confetti]

Okay. So back in the hippie days. Free love. We streaked naked the neighborhood with.

[Bunny]

Back on the hippie days. So 70s and.

[Confetti]

Yep. Okay. And that's when it began. So their. Their love for sex together was streaking naked with sparklers. We had sex in the woods at a family reunion on a bank near the river in broad daylight in a showroom car. That was a tricky one, but we did it. I sat on his lap while the salesperson.

[Bunny]

Okay, so they're Voyers. They're not nymphos. They're Voyers.

[Confetti]

What the hell is that?

[Dustin]

That means. I thought it was when you're on vacation.

[Bunny]

No, a Voyer is people who like to have sex in public places. And. And. And like the idea of getting caught.

[Confetti]

Oh, this is a new word. The more, you know, I sat on his lap while the salesperson was away. He slipped it in. The excitement, the thrill. That day in our backyard pool at a Free Love concert. It was always a journey, and it happened often. I would always wear a dress with nothing underneath, and he would always wear shorts or something. That made it easy access to have sex happen in the strangest places. It was the best sex I ever had. It was a crazy ride and a love affair. We didn't care. Free love. Hippie days. Yes. I'm an old lady now, and I still rock having a great sex life, period.

[Bunny]

We love that for her.

[Dustin]

Go her.

[Bunny]

I love that. I wonder if her and the dude are still together.

[Confetti]

It doesn't sound like it.

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah.

[Confetti]

She just loved that.

[Bunny]

That's gonna be me one day reminiscing about my wild hoe days. I'm telling you, man, life creeps up on you fast, dude.

[Confetti]

Yeah. She's in her 60s now.

[Bunny]

Go, go, you go, you mama. That means she's got her hormones right, too. We stan a HRT queen for Anna. Nimity for anonymity. Keep me anonymous. What does that mean? Call me Jack. Okay. I want to come out to my family as gay. What do I do for context? I am a teenager. Oh, sweet boy.

[Confetti]

Okay, I get it.

[Bunny]

Well, Jack, this is kind of a personal question, because we don't know, like, the background of your family. I don't want to walk you into something that is going to completely devastate you or traumatize you. I would need to know more information on how to approach that. But I do think there's nothing better in this life than living authentically in the skin that you're in.

[Confetti]

Yep.

[Bunny]

So I think, you know, we would probably need to know more details. If you can circle back, that would be awesome. And then we could guide you a little bit better. But just blindly going in.

[Confetti]

Yeah, because, like, testing the waters. We would definitely need to know where the parents standpoint in this. Like, what kind of. You know, because you could test the waters with them, and they could be already fully accepting of this, Right?

[Bunny]

Yeah, they probably already know.

[Confetti]

True.

[Bunny]

Yeah. You think that parents don't know, but we know. We know when somebody is, you know, batting for the other team because you can just tell.

[Confetti]

Yeah. They might already know, or they could be completely oblivious. But I do feel like you could probably pry a little bit without being too obvious and get their standpoint just from that right there.

[Bunny]

I'm sure they already. If he's asking for our advice, I'm assuming they're probably not easy to talk to because he probably would have already came out to them. But that's again, me making assumptions. So I can't.

[Confetti]

Yeah, we need more. More context to that one would be great because we would love to help you.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Confetti]

In that journey because it is such a beautiful thing to live authentically yourself.

[Bunny]

Yep.

[Confetti]

So.

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[Bunny]

Proud of you.

[Confetti]

Hey, you came out to us. That's what matters.

[Bunny]

Yeah. We love. I love that. You guys want to do one more? I got one more. You have one more. Go ahead.

[Dustin]

I got one more.

[Bunny]

Go ahead. I've been really thinking about a bag of chips this whole freaking show.

[Confetti]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

What?

[Confetti]

What are you thinking?

[Bunny]

Sour cream. But I can't eat the whole thing. I just can share it with you. One. Okay, I have a couple.

[Dustin]

Okay, here's a story I probably shouldn't be telling, but it's too funny not to. When I was 14, I had a best friend named Kate. We were inseparable. One day we were hanging out alone at my family's pool, just messing around with the jets. And then the idea hit me. I thought, what if I sit directly on the jet? And not just sit, but, like, really commit to the bit. Naturally. I did it for the sole purpose of making her laugh. At first it was funny. Too funny. So I stayed there longer than I should have, which was my first mistake. The second I got off, I realized I had made a catastrophic. Catastrophic miscalculation. I had to clinch for my life. I'm talking immediate emergency situation. I bolted out of the pool, yanked my bikini to the side, and proceeded to absolutely destroy the side of my house. No warning, no mercy.

[Bunny]

Oh, she gave herself an enema. Damn.

[Dustin]

Oh, wait. Oh, no, there's more. Kate's dying. Laughing. I'm half laughing, half fighting for my dignity. And here's the worst part. After we finally pulled ourselves together, we went back and did it again.

[Bunny]

I think all girls have a jet story.

[Dustin]

First of all, I wasn't rich. My pool didn't have jets.

[Bunny]

I had an above ground pool that had jets. Okay, we weren't rich.

[Dustin]

I didn't have jets. But no, I. I don't have a jet story.

[Bunny]

I do.

[Confetti]

That's unfortunate for you.

[Dustin]

Oh, okay.

[Bunny]

You got a jet story. Beams.

[Confetti]

I feel like waterish.

[Bunny]

Okay, do tell.

[Dustin]

What am I missing out on?

[Confetti]

Oh, no, I was younger. I'm not talking about that.

[Bunny]

I can't ever pull anything out of Mimi. She'll say. She'll say yes, and she'll allude to something, but she'll never go into detail.

[Confetti]

My mom watches this.

[Dustin]

My entire family watches this.

[Confetti]

Yeah. Hey, Susan.

[Bunny]

Hey. Hey, Susan. So I think her giving herself an enema is hilarious. She must have been barren down. She had to for like a second. Like, she had to been on.

[Dustin]

Is that what an enema does?

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah. It cleans you up.

[Confetti]

Yeah. I mean it.

[Bunny]

Yeah. You could put water up your butt like Mountain spring water up your ass. And that's an enema, too. And it'll come out.

[Confetti]

Not just the saline, isn't.

[Bunny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dustin]

Like an oil change.

[Bunny]

You could put coffee up your ass.

[Confetti]

I've seen people do coffee.

[Bunny]

Put coffee up their ass and do coffee.

[Dustin]

What does that do?

[Bunny]

Cleans your whole out. Does it, like, give you the. Do you wake up?

[Confetti]

I don't.

[Bunny]

I've done it. I can't remember. Did I do one? I think I did one and it made me, like, cracked out, I would imagine.

[Confetti]

It's like putting cocaine in.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

I never stuck anything up my ass, Kaylee.

[Bunny]

I mean, you've never had an enemy,

[Dustin]

but I meant like that.

[Bunny]

Yeah, well, you don't have a problem.

[Dustin]

No, I don't.

[Bunny]

Until you're constipated. And that's your last resort.

[Confetti]

Oh, I had a enema when I was giving birth to cash. After I had cash. Because, like, you know, like, anesthesia and stuff, you get plugged up really bad and you're not supposed to push afterwards. Tragic.

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah. I love a little baby enema. Just stick it in there. I did one the other day and I pooped, and it was in the shape of a J.

[Confetti]

And I came in a picture. Didn't you?

[Bunny]

Yeah, I know. I told my husband about it, though. He was really proud.

[Confetti]

The amount of poop pictures I've seen from you. From you as well.

[Dustin]

There was one that. I literally still can't believe. That one.

[Confetti]

You know what color you're. Is it the color?

[Dustin]

That one?

[Confetti]

That one. You saw that one.

[Dustin]

That one was wild.

[Confetti]

That was the craziest, most perfect poop.

[Dustin]

Oh, it didn't cut off. I don't know.

[Bunny]

It was healthy. I miss. I haven't had one like that since.

[Confetti]

Really?

[Bunny]

Oh, that one was probably.

[Dustin]

Don't have to anymore. That cleared your entire system.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

A couple years.

[Bunny]

That was probably like 20 years of just. That came out of me. Yeah.

[Confetti]

Yeah, that color was nice.

[Bunny]

Yeah. All right, guys, we are out of here. See you next week, lovey.

[Dustin]

Bye.