Ask, Tell, Confess: WTF?! Some Things Should Stay Secrets

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde

Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: WTF?! Some Things Should Stay Secrets
Date: June 12, 2026
Host: Bunnie XO
Key Guests: Haley, Jaime, Mimi, Tosh

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Episode Overview

This episode of Dumb Blonde is a wild, unfiltered, and hysterical dive into the confessions listeners would probably never share anywhere else. Bunnie XO and her crew – Haley, Jaime, Mimi, and Tosh – read and react to anonymous listener "ask, tell, confess" stories, ranging from embarrassing sexual exploits and workplace mishaps to jaw-dropping stories involving family members, house cleaners, and way too many butt-related accidents. If you're squeamish, this is not your episode; if you're ready for laughs and zero judgment, this crew has your back.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Stories

1. Sex and Family Entanglements

• Haley’s Confession: Hooked up with an older neighbor as a teen; 15 years later, her mom unknowingly dates (and contracts herpes from) the same man.
  • Haley: "Two months went by and my mom ended up getting herpes from him. So gross. And no worries, I'm clean." ([06:37])
  • Crew reacts in shock and disbelief, with plenty of dark humor.

2. Pegging, Poop & Proclivities

• Jaime’s Story: Pegged a man who, in the throes of things, had what could only be described as an "explosive" accident.

  • Jaime: "He literally all over the place. I’m not kidding. It was the most disgusting thing in my life." ([06:43])
  • Leads to tips (and jokes) about how cleanliness is essential for butt stuff, especially if money’s involved:
    • Haley: "Before you get anal, you’re supposed to clean your out." ([07:30])
    • Mimi: "I doubt someone who's paying for it thought that far ahead." ([07:35])

• Listener's Story ("Ask, Tell, Confess"): Several stories about partners climaxing and involuntarily pooping, particularly with prostate stimulation.

  • Jaime (reading): "Full blown hot, ooey gooey ripe ass shit blowing out his..." ([33:54])
  • Haley: "Who describes poop as ooey gooey? I describe brownies as ooey gooey, not shit." ([33:54])
  • Advice: Always enema before pegging! ([34:21])

3. Workplace & Public Masturbation Confessions

• Anonymous Submission: Listener with a porn addiction masturbates in the work bathroom, even peeping through scratches in a cheap stall wall at a female coworker.
  • Haley (reading): "As soon as I saw that girl enter, I gave in...I can't believe I went through with it." ([11:29])
  • Memorable reactions:
    • Jaime: "I'd rather have a girl flicking the bean than a guy jacking off." ([12:46])
    • Haley: "Let me see somebody sticking their eyeball through. Okay, I'm gonna poke...I'll get an ice pick." ([12:52])

4. Ping Pong Balls & Unconventional Insertions

• Mimi's Confession: Allowed her boyfriend to insert three beer pong balls anally; the last wouldn't come out, causing panic.

  • Mimi (reading): "It was fully stuck and I immediately started to panic. As one does..." ([35:56])
  • Hilarious analogy:
    • Tosh: "Like a human gumball machine." ([36:07])

• Palomino Club Stories: Watching women shoot ping pong balls out of their vaginas (for distance and sound?) at Vegas strip clubs.

  • Crew discusses the spectacle and wonders why they've never been.

5. Embarrassing Encounters at Home & Work

• Haley's House Cleaner Story ([27:13]):
  • Took new greens, urgent bathroom trip—house cleaner accidentally barges in and literally sits on her lap mid-poop.
  • Haley: "I have a turd hanging out. What? We were eye to eye." ([28:49])
  • "All I could muster up the courage to say was, you're fine, get out. I said it four times in the calmest tone..." ([29:10])

6. Poop, Pets, and Sticky Notes

• Listener's Story (Jaime’s Sister): The sister, drunk, mistakenly takes laxatives before sex—accidentally soils the partner’s bed. He leaves a Walmart bag and a sticky note: “Please don’t contact me again.”
  • Jaime: "She came out to him, nowhere to be seen, with a Walmart bag on top, her shoes with her filled pants, and a sticky note that said, please don't contact me again." ([41:44])
  • Crew cracks up at the sticky note detail.

7. Unlikely Kinks & Hidden Fantasies

• Listener discovers her boyfriend had been cheating, engaging in anal fisting via FetLife—despite their own very vanilla relationship.
  • Discussion on how people often mask kinks from their partners due to early shame.
    • Haley: "He had to mask being a normal person in a relationship and then have his kinky separate fantasy life." ([40:26])

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Notable Quotes & Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

• Jaime: "You've at least seen my butthole." ([04:07])
• Mimi: "He looks like a seal." ([04:58])
• Haley: "There's nothing better than watching two oiled up bodies slap skins. It is so exhilarating." ([05:24])
• Haley: "Have you guys ever tasted your own vagina?" ([19:09])
• Mimi: "Like a human gumball machine." ([36:07])
• Haley: "Nada on the asada." ([46:31]) in reference to a hot guy who smelled so bad it made her vomit.

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Group Dynamic & Vibe

• The group is outspoken, irreverent, and constantly riffing on each other with inside jokes, wild confessions, and the kind of honesty you only get with close friends.
• Delirium, laughter, and cringe spiral as stories escalate (“We're all so delirious...maybe we shouldn't have filmed right now.” [32:48])
• Haley and Jaime repeatedly break into giggles over facial expressions and not being able to make eye contact ([29:44], [32:09]).
• The message throughout: No kink shaming—just laughter, camaraderie, and mutual embarrassment.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment/Story | |-------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:03 | Opening banter: butthole talk, step-family porn jokes | | 05:21 | Oiled-up porn preferences—comedic preferences exposed | | 05:51 | Haley’s neighbor/mom herpes story | | 06:43 | Jaime’s pegging/poop explosion confession | | 08:35 | Anonymous work/masturbation confession | | 11:29 | Peeping & masturbation in office bathroom confession | | 28:39 | Haley’s house cleaner and poop disaster | | 33:23 | Listener’s confession: pegging leading to repeated messy encounters | | 35:56 | Ping pong balls get stuck inside Mimi’s body—panic ensues | | 41:44 | Jaime’s sister accidentally takes laxatives before sex; sticky note aftermath | | 43:12 | Bartender hookup story: fart during cunnilingus, then gets accused of a "weird vagina" | | 46:14 | Hot guy smells so bad Haley vomits after oral sex |

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Final Takeaways

• No topic is off-limits for Bunnie XO and her squad—sex, kinks, poop, embarrassment, you name it.
• This episode is a showcase of hilarious, ridiculous, and occasionally shocking real-life confessions, punctuated by unfiltered reactions and raucous laughter.
• The underlying message: “We don’t ever yuck anybody’s yum”—except maybe if you skip the enema.

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If you love uncensored conversations with genuinely funny friends, high chaos energy, and stories that will make you gasp-laugh, this episode is pure Dumb Blonde gold.

Transcript

[Bunny]

Before Wayfair, our outdoor space just felt unfinished. We had the patio, but we never actually used it. The furniture didn't match, there wasn't enough seating and once the sun went down it just felt dark and boring. It definitely wasn't giving Come hang out here now we're outside all the time. Late night hangs having friends over sitting outside. After a long day, it finally feels cozy and put together instead of random chairs thrown around outside. Adding better seating, lighting and decor completely completely changed the vibe and honestly made the whole backyard feel way more us. I also loved being able to read real customer reviews before ordering because outdoor furniture online can be such a gamble. And thank God for the assembly options because some of those pieces are heavy and I do not have the patience for a seven hour furniture meltdown. One thing I would absolutely tell a friend to buy right now is a good outdoor conversation set with deep cushions. Total game changer. Once you have a comfy seating outside, you actually start using your outdoor space way more.

[Haley]

If you haven't tried Wayfair yet, it

[Bunny]

really is the easiest way to make your home feel more like you without driving all over town looking for stuff. Patio furniture, rugs, lighting, decor, literally everything in one place. And the reviews make shopping so much easier. Patio season is here babies, and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W A Y-F A I R.com

[Haley]

Wayfair Every style, every Home A lot

[Bunny]

of people think investing is only for people who already have a ton of money and honestly that's what stopped me for the longest time.

[Haley]

I thought I needed to know everything

[Bunny]

first or have some giant amount sitting around to even get started. And between work, life, kids chaos, I definitely didn't feel like I had the time to sit there stressing over stocks all day. What I like about Acorns is it makes investing feel way less intimidating. You you can start small and it kind of grows with you. Once I actually started putting money in consistently and letting it do its thing, it changed my whole perspective. Instead of feeling guilty about not starting sooner, I finally felt like I was at least giving my money a chance to grow instead of just sitting there. One feature I really love is the Acorns potential screen because it shows you how your money could grow over time with compound interest. Seeing those number laid out visually honestly makes you think differently about even small amounts of money. Like okay, maybe those little daily or weekly investments actually do add up. And I also love that it's all in one place. I don't need 15 different finance apps cluttering up my phone. With Acorns, you can invest, save and keep everything together in one app, which makes it feel way more manageable. If you're busy and don't want to turn finances into a full time job. If you've been putting off investing because you feel like you don't know enough or don't have enough money to start, same. That's literally why I love Acorns. It makes getting started feel realistic. Some Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus. Investment join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com bunnie or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote acorns. Tier 2 compensation provided potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts, age and investment settings. Does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor.

[Haley]

View important [e-mail] Bunny Ask, Tell Confess.

[Ad Voice]

Ask tell conf.

[Bunny]

Hello friends. Welcome back to another. Convers.

[Haley]

Nice you guys don't put out. I'm tired of it.

[Jaime]

You've at least seen my butthole.

[Haley]

We're not going down this route again. It's deja vu every time.

[Mimi]

He said shut the up.

[Haley]

Jaime. When are you gonna show us your butthole?

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Mimi]

Did you ever go look at it the other day?

[Tosh]

No, I'm just not that flexible anymore. I gotta do some stretching.

[Haley]

You gotta take a squat. Take a video over mirror or put the video.

[Jaime]

Put the camera on the floor and stand over it and

[Haley]

just spread it. Dude. Is it Harry? Do you have a little Peter cottontail? A little black Peter cot tail?

[Mimi]

Just a little so hairless.

[Haley]

It looks like a little.

[Tosh]

Yeah, that's. I. I have hair, just not as much as that I've seen on other people where I'm like, oh, I don't know how I don't have that back hair. No back hair.

[Haley]

Good. Thank God.

[Mimi]

He looks like a seal.

[Haley]

Yeah, no, he's like me. We're both hairless.

[Mimi]

You guys are very similar in skin texture. It's wild.

[Haley]

There's so many porns that cater to like stepmother, stepson, step daughter, like mother in law. Mother in law. Like it's all weird. It's a weird Niche. I could never get into that. I like. I like people that are oiled up. That's my thing.

[Mimi]

That's.

[Bunny]

I'm not into family members.

[Mimi]

Oily people.

[Haley]

Yes. There's nothing better than watching two oiled up body slap skins. It is so exhilarating.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Love it.

[Tosh]

Shiny.

[Haley]

I. Well, we're in LA and we are

[Bunny]

doing ass talk and fest. When I was 16, I met a

[Haley]

neighbor guy, he was two years older than me and we started hooking up.

[Bunny]

It was a short summer fling.

[Haley]

Never seen him again myself. Only heard rumors around town about him. Cuz he was a man. Fast forward 15 years later. My mother, she's 20 years older than me, said I've been seeing a guy who's younger. His name is Dustin. Of course my brain goes to this guy. Back in the day. I asked her to show me his Facebook picture and it was him. No, I told my mom like dude, I with him back in the day and I was so grossed out. Two months went by and my mom ended up getting herpes from him. So gross. And no worries, I'm clean.

[Mimi]

Mom got the herpes.

[Haley]

The gift that keeps on giving.

[Mimi]

Damn.

[Jaime]

I had this guy who I used to peg. He lived in his mom's apartment, but he had all the hardware. So I'm going to town on him because I used to get into it. Anything for some cash, I guess. I'm a freak. So I'm going to town and he literally all over the place. I'm not kidding. It was the most disgusting thing in my life. His whole room smelled. It was all over the place, even on me. I took the hottest, longest shower ever. Then I never ever answered his calls again. Staying anonymous.

[Haley]

My question is, was it explosive diarrhea? Like how did it go everywhere like that? If it was a log, I could understand. Or like, you know, I would rather have a log.

[Mimi]

You know when you shake up a soda and you open it that's similar to did she shake him? I mean, if you're him.

[Haley]

Okay, but before you get anal, you're supposed to clean your out.

[Mimi]

I doubt someone who's paying for it thought that far ahead.

[Haley]

What do you mean?

[Bunny]

That's.

[Haley]

They're used to it. They know. They know. Yeah.

[Mimi]

I'm just gonna let it ride.

[Jaime]

Oh,

[Haley]

just let it ride?

[Mimi]

Yeah. I've talked about pegging way too much today. This is weird.

[Jaime]

Would you peg Jason?

[Mimi]

He won't let me.

[Haley]

Would you? But we like want to. Yeah. Hey,

[Mimi]

He would never. He won't even let me see his butthole.

[Haley]

I was just passed out from rapping too hard. Oh, God. Sugar's love. Have you guys ever seen Beauty and the Beast? Yeah, and that one part where she says something and he goes, that is exactly what Haley just did, Dude. It was so funny, dude. And it only gets weirder from here. I entered a new job a few weeks ago, one I had been avoiding

[Bunny]

desperately for a long time.

[Haley]

But due to financial problems with my family, I was forced to take it simultaneously.

[Bunny]

I also had a relapse with porn.

[Haley]

With a porn addiction I thought I'd gotten rid of. Often I use my lunch breaks to watch porn in the restrooms and masturbate. Maybe it's the stress, anxiety, or maybe it's just for the thrills. I don't know.

[Mimi]

He's just whacking off in the bathroom.

[Haley]

Just whacking off at work in the bathroom. Gob is this. It gets better. It gets better. I swear, every time I look at

[Bunny]

a phone bill now, I'm like, why are we all just accepting this somehow? Your wireless bill starts at one price, and then by the time they add random fees, you're paying way more than you expected. That's why Mint Mobile caught my attention. Because when they say plans start at 15 bucks a month, most people immediately think, okay, what's the catch? But there really isn't one. You still get unlimited talk and text, high speed data and coverage on the nation's largest 5G network. You're not just paying insane prices for it. And switching is super easy. You can keep your current phone, keep your number, choose the plan that works for you, and sign up online. No sitting in a phone store forever while somebody tries to upsell you on stuff you don't need. Honestly, Mint Mobile just took everything people hate about wireless bills and made it simpler and cheaper. If your phone bill makes you mad every month, this is your sign to try Mint Mobile and stop overpaying. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com b u n n I e that's mintmobile.com bun cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com bunny that's it. There's no catch. $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone. Paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments.

[Mimi]

But that's weird.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Bunny]

of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] I don't know whose

[Haley]

idea it was to make the walls dividing the stalls out of glass plastered with cheap plastic. Last week I noticed there are several

[Bunny]

scratches on the plastic, making little holes

[Haley]

that allow you to peep into the next stall. Since then, I have been fighting the

[Bunny]

urge to peep in.

[Haley]

There was never someone there, but I

[Bunny]

still felt anxious about it.

[Haley]

Today, there actually was someone there for the first time.

[Bunny]

Even before leaving my desk, I told

[Haley]

myself I wouldn't even consider the idea that I would just do the usual. But as soon as I saw that girl enter, I gave in. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking, but I still touched myself. When I saw her ass after coming, I felt like shit immediately. I can't believe I went through with it.

[Bunny]

And even hours after the fact, I'm

[Haley]

still in shock and disappointed at myself.

[Jaime]

Is this a girl talking or a guy?

[Haley]

It could be a community bathroom.

[Bunny]

I'm not sure.

[Haley]

I don't know. They didn't give me those details. Let me check again. Let me.

[Bunny]

Let me make sure.

[Haley]

Hold on. Because I deleted it after I read it. Oh, God, that one's rough, right?

[Mimi]

All right.

[Haley]

Mimi said. All right.

[Mimi]

I'm so confused. You literally have a desk job and you're whacking.

[Haley]

It's a female. So it's another female. Does that make it better? A little. No. No, it doesn't.

[Mimi]

A little? No.

[Jaime]

Just because I feel, I don't know. With a man and just.

[Haley]

Haley, you're going to the bathroom to take a dump and somebody's flicking the bean right next to you. How you feeling?

[Jaime]

I'd rather have a girl flicking the bean than a guy jacking off.

[Haley]

It's so creepy.

[Jaime]

Oh, I'm not saying it's not weird.

[Haley]

Let me see somebody sticking their eyeball through. Okay, I'm gonna poke. I'll get an ice pick and shove it through like that's crazy.

[Mimi]

You're gonna watch me poo and just flick the beans?

[Haley]

Just. Just. And I mean, are we not using a vibrator?

[Mimi]

Are we going to.

[Haley]

That's crazy.

[Jaime]

Acoustic bus.

[Haley]

No, I can't do that, bro. Acoustic Drumming the old.

[Jaime]

Is that how you would do it? It's too slow.

[Tosh]

I was thinking about doing, like, guitar.

[Haley]

No, girls.

[Jaime]

That's so wide. It's not that big.

[Haley]

Yeah. Whose is doing this? Jaime. Is there a camera on Jaime? Because the action that he's making right now is say, hey, Jaime, you have a girlfriend. How do you play with her now?

[Mimi]

Is that what you do to her?

[Tosh]

You want to.

[Haley]

Yeah, do it.

[Tosh]

Break it down.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

Yes.

[Haley]

Well, talk loud.

[Tosh]

Got a shower first. Myself. Not her. I don't really care. I kind of like a little musk, you know, I don't.

[Haley]

I don't mind.

[Mimi]

He says musk.

[Haley]

I love it. Yeah. And why do guys like that?

[Tosh]

I don't.

[Haley]

You know, Maybe it's the pheromones.

[Tosh]

I think so there's a certain scent that comes off of.

[Haley]

It's like animalistic.

[Tosh]

Yes. Where I'm just like. I'm in there.

[Haley]

Yeah. Cat.

[Tosh]

But. Yeah. I don't really remember how I do my hands and stuff, but I do make sure. That's rule number one. Make sure they're clean. Hands are clean.

[Jaime]

Good job.

[Tosh]

Always. And then you got to definitely work on the outside than inside.

[Haley]

Okay. But how are you doing it? Because the way you were strumming the banjo was crazy.

[Tosh]

I was thinking if I were to strum it like a guitar. So I was holding it like this.

[Haley]

I was like, why is it so wide? Have you ever seen a girl play with herself?

[Tosh]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Okay. She's not strumming the. Yeah, we're not going like this. Yeah.

[Tosh]

No, no.

[Jaime]

It's more like a. Yeah, keep the hands.

[Haley]

It's more like a. There you go. There you go.

[Jaime]

There you go.

[Haley]

There you go. I was feeling really horny and had been watching MILF and big nipple porn and had been going from a semi to raging boner for close to two hours. I was hours. I was in the living room. Isn't that called gooning? Like when you start when you're whacking off for that long, like having marathons. Right.

[Jaime]

I think that's good. Goody in general is just.

[Mimi]

Just coming.

[Jaime]

Playing with yourself.

[Haley]

Yeah. I AMB off to bed and was watching CIM videos. I don't know what that means. Slowly stroking my. The thought of sucking my own really turned me on. But alas, I lack the flexibility. I have a reasonable length, six and a half inches and good girth. So I've been told. So I lubed up my. Folded a pillow in two and placed it under my butt and slowly stroked myself whilst Looking at my gorgeous well, it is to me. And watching porn compilations, edging myself over and over, Alternating between slow hard strokes and gently massaging around the tip. Getting turned on by the amazing techniques of the women, imagining it was my cock and they were working their talents on. And then it happened. I was just edging myself again with a tight grip. Slow stroking, pulling down to the base, squeezing harder. When Angela White shout out, angela White, we love you, baby. When Angela White was the next in my clip. In the clip, my cock got harder. Watching her beautiful mouth devouring the cock. My hips started to buck involuntarily. I gripped the base of my cock. I'm sorry, I'm trying.

[Mimi]

Someone's getting off to this tonight.

[Haley]

The censored YouTube video is just gonna be beep beep, beep beep. It's gonna be titled. I'm gonna title it the most explicit confession we've had. God, my cock. I heard of watching her beautiful blah blah. I gripped the base of my in a death grip, trying to hold back the mounting pressure. My pulsing. I couldn't stop it. My was pointing directly at my face and multiple jets of cum shot out, landing on my face and in my mouth and over my chest. I'm used to it on my chest and face. It's happened before. I was surprised how much got in my mouth. Wouldn't have happened if I'd have kept my mouth shut. But there I was, mouth open, tongue out. I swallowed everything that landed in my mouth and licked my lips to remove

[Bunny]

what landed on them.

[Haley]

My cock remained hard. I wiped myself down, lubed up again this time. This guy has stamina, all right. I wiped myself down, lubed up again and this time stroking my much faster. Really going to town on myself watching the pace of the video. This time when I felt I was going to come, I just focused on my cock, listening to the starlet slurping and moaning on the cock. My mouth open, tongue out. I raised my hips and moved my head as close as I could and came again hard. It felt good. My aim wasn't great, but managed to get some in my mouth again. I moved what landed on my chin into my mouth and rubbed what landed on my chest into my skin. I'm laying cover in sweat and my own cum. I think I've unlocked a new kink.

[Mimi]

I feel like I should have paid to have heard that.

[Jaime]

Imagine taking a shot every time she said cock.

[Mimi]

It'd be so drunk I'd be blacked out. It's like you take a shot of Temptress cock and I take a shot of precious cough.

[Haley]

Listen, thank you, guys. Thank you. We asked for details. And you guys.

[Jaime]

You guys, weird details.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

All right, I'm good.

[Jaime]

Between that and Christina's. Let's put it in the middle.

[Haley]

Yeah, just. Haley said not so much.

[Mimi]

Yeah, tone it.

[Jaime]

Tone it down.

[Haley]

That was so funny. Maybe. What the.

[Mimi]

He scooped it in at the end.

[Haley]

Dude. I mean, you. Have you guys ever tasted your own vagina?

[Mimi]

No.

[Haley]

Oh, I have.

[Mimi]

Well, I don't know. Like, I guess technically, like, Jason would kiss me after.

[Haley]

Oh, yeah. That's hot. Not you guys, but just that. Yeah. Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant. I didn't mean it like that. But there might be a book, too. If this one does good enough, maybe I'll write a part due. All right, who's gonna kick this off? Please don't ever do that with your eyebrows again. Don't ever do that with your eyes.

[Jaime]

What? I know it wasn't me because I have Botox.

[Haley]

Don't ever do that again.

[Mimi]

What'd you do?

[Haley]

What'd she do, bro? The hell? Oh, my. It's like I had to look away for a moment. It was bad, dude. You have to wait till her face completely relaxes for her. Do it again. She looked like Bert from Bert Nurney, dude. It was like she made. She made her eyebrows twerk like, it was crazy,

[Jaime]

like Nacho Libre, bro.

[Haley]

I don't know what she did. I don't know what she did, but holy.

[Mimi]

I need to see it right now.

[Haley]

Dude, we're all delirious. All right, we're gonna go back to Haley. Would you like to kick this off here?

[Jaime]

I'll go.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Jaime]

Is this what you feel like with me and. Got it. Got it.

[Haley]

Okay,

[Jaime]

okay.

[Haley]

Sorry,

[Tosh]

sorry.

[Jaime]

I get. I get how Mimi feels.

[Haley]

My face hurts.

[Jaime]

Get how Mimi feels.

[Haley]

She, like, made eye contact with me, too.

[Jaime]

That's what? You can't make eye contact with her? With her.

[Haley]

No, she did. It hurt, the eyebrow thing, and made eye contact with me. Like, hold on. I'm going to try to do it, but I have so much Botox on my face. She was like, you're not. Why did it feel like it was moving so much fresh.

[Mimi]

This is me moving.

[Haley]

Hers went, like, up here, though.

[Mimi]

I can't. This is why I will never have Boto, bro.

[Jaime]

See this?

[Haley]

You don't need it yet.

[Mimi]

I can't.

[Haley]

No. It's one of those things she has to be completely relaxed to do, cuz

[Mimi]

it was pass out. When I was 19, we lived next door to an older lady. She was in her late 70s. I used to go over and help her mow and do her trash and pick up around the house because she was disabled and had to move around via wheelchair. She was wasn't able to walk for very long. But one evening when I was helping her clean, she made a comment about how she missed having a man around the house and how thankful she was to have my help that night. During conversation about my love life, she stated that she hadn't had any physical touches in over 20 years and that all she had was a vibrator. We both laughed and I noticed her staring down at my bulge multiple times. I was wearing gym shorts and I knew instantly that she would probably never experience dick again in her lifetime. So I outright offered her some. I said, well, I'm only next door, I can provide whatever you need whenever. That was enough for her. At first she was shy but eventually said to come back later that she would be ready. She called me over trying to shave that yeah, everything showered for sure. She called me over around 11pm I had a key to her door so I walked right into her in the bedroom. She was already laying there fully naked. I was very young and fully bricked when I saw her. I got into her bed and wrapped her legs around my waist and slowly slid it in.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Mimi]

She was so tight but opened up to me real quick. She was incredibly wet and shaking like a leaf.

[Haley]

At first it started off like a Garth Brooks song where he talks about banging the old lady and then it turned into a straight up porn.

[Mimi]

Yep, they for 45 minutes. That was one of the best sexual experiences of my life. Sadly, she passed away a year later. We only ever that one night. She called the next day to said she slept to tell me she slept like a baby with my load in her. I'm 29 and I still love fucking old women.

[Bunny]

Starting anything on your own is terrifying. I don't care if it's a podcast, a business, a clothing brand. There's always that moment right before you hit launch where your brain starts spiraling like what if nobody listens? What if nobody buys anything? What if I completely embarrass myself? I think every successful person has had that moment where they almost talk themselves out of even trying. But honestly, taking that leap ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made. And one thing I've learned is that having the right tools behind you makes such a difference, especially when you're already stressed and figuring everything out as you go. That's why Shopify is such a game changer. And you already know I use Shopify for my own site, bunny xo.com so I'm on both sides of it. Shopping and running a business. They make it easier to actually run your business without feeling like you need a full marketing team or tech department behind you. Whether it's creating email campaigns, posting on social media, managing inventory, skipping orders, handling returns, Shopify really does all the hard back end stuff that people don't think about when they start a business. And if you've ever checked out online and seen the purple shop pay button, that's a reason so many businesses use it. Shopify has one of the best converting checkouts on the planet, which means fewer abandoned carts and more actual sales. I also love that Shopify helps get people get discovered. Because let's be real, creating something is one thing, but getting people to actually find your brand is a whole different battle. Shopify helps make that part way less overwhelming. If you've been sitting on an idea and waiting for the perfect time to start something, this is your sign. Just start. Shopify makes it feel way less scary. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com bu and ie go to shopify.com bunny that's shopify.com bunny

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[Tosh]

The last part was what got me progressively.

[Haley]

First of all, shout out to granny for getting her rocks off before she passed away.

[Mimi]

Get it?

[Haley]

Love that. For her. You know, listen, we don't ever yuck anybody's yum.

[Mimi]

Exactly.

[Haley]

So we appreciate the dickin.

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Haley]

We appreciate the Charles Dickon. Okay? It's a Christmas story. That's a Christmas story.

[Tosh]

What?

[Haley]

No, I've heard the complete opposite. That your lips go inside.

[Mimi]

So that's what I'm saying. It's like it's not this. Like.

[Jaime]

I don't understand.

[Haley]

My lips disappeared after ivf. Rub it. Open it right now. You guys see my. All the time. Every time I'm undressed, I've seen it in a minute. So I got a story for you guys real quick before we wrap this up.

[Mimi]

I heard about that. You had something exciting.

[Haley]

I don't know if it was exciting. Probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Oh. So every week we have people come to help us clean the house. I don't know what the direct. The correct terminology is. House cleaners.

[Mimi]

Yes.

[Haley]

Okay. We have house cleaners come once a week to clean. They have been cleaning our house for six years. I love these ladies. These are my little nuggets. Like, I love them so much. We're like, on every time they come in. Hey, yeah. Like, we talk to them. We love them. And I told you guys in the beginning of this podcast, I've been taking those new greens. So I Literally, every time if I drink something, it runs right through me. And I, you know, so I'm in the middle of cooking lunch, and all of a sudden I'm like, oh, my God, I have to get to a bathroom. So I had to run to the bathroom in the front of the house, which I never go to. I always go in my bathroom. But this time nobody was around. Everybody was upstairs. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go in this bathroom and drop a load and, you know, wash my hands and finish cooking. So anyways, I go in there minding my business, just scrolling, you know, Next thing I know, the door flies open. Chachi comes barreling in. But it wasn't just Chachi that came barreling in. It was one of the girls that had never been to our house before comes barreling in while Chachi looks like he's chasing her, but he's not. He's trying to get into the bathroom with me. This woman was so scared that mid loaf, she sat on my lap.

[Mimi]

Wall.

[Haley]

I have a turd hanging out. What? We were eye to eye.

[Jaime]

Oh, what do you mean? She said on your lap.

[Haley]

We're right here.

[Jaime]

What do you mean?

[Haley]

She opened the door, came up against the wall, and is in my lap right here. Because there's not room in that bathroom.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Mimi]

No.

[Haley]

So we're this close to each other while I'm sitting on the toilet, and I just. I'm looking at her.

[Mimi]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

[Haley]

And it smelled. Okay. And I'm looking in her eyes, and I'm looking in her eyes, and all I could muster up the courage to say was, you're fine, get out. Hold on. I said you're fine. Get out. I said it four times in the most calmest tone that you could think of.

[Mimi]

She wasn't kidding.

[Haley]

She was staring. We were deadlocked. It took her a minute to register what was going on, and I had to say it four times.

[Jaime]

What?

[Haley]

Before she just stood there and stared at me, breathing in, basking in the ambiance.

[Mimi]

I got a story. This person wants to be kept anonymous.

[Haley]

Oh, that means it's good.

[Mimi]

Wait.

[Haley]

Yeah, Juicy.

[Mimi]

She is an rn. So I was working urgent care and had a.

[Haley]

We're listening. We're listening.

[Mimi]

What is happening?

[Haley]

We started making faces. I'm sorry. Hey. We got caught in the.

[Jaime]

We can't sit in class.

[Haley]

No, no, sorry.

[Mimi]

You guys are never allowed to be in class.

[Jaime]

We're too close right now.

[Mimi]

You'd be passing notes the whole class.

[Jaime]

Our guests would be like.

[Mimi]

I'm literally like the mom of the group. Yeah. The street earlier. And these two take off. Green light, cars coming. We look back.

[Haley]

I said, should we wait?

[Jaime]

She said, no, they left us. I said, we left them. She's like, I know. I just like to gaslight.

[Mimi]

It keeps on walking. No, but they did wait. They're good people.

[Haley]

Don't make me laugh, cuz every time I laugh, my chair. Every time. This chair sucks. Sucks. All right, here we go. Am I. Am I good? Jaime. I'm sorry, dude. I'm not doing it on purpose.

[Mimi]

Could you imagine you and the guest tomorrow? Just.

[Haley]

No, I can't. I will not sit like that. I would never.

[Mimi]

I would never. That's just really funny.

[Haley]

No, I can't.

[Jaime]

I'm not gonna look at you.

[Haley]

Okay, Don't. All right, go ahead. Sorry. I'm proud of us for going to the gym. And I. We've had long days. Since Europe. We have had long days.

[Mimi]

You're up.

[Haley]

Okay. We have had a long day. I think we're delirious at this point.

[Mimi]

I can't handle this.

[Haley]

All right.

[Mimi]

I'm gonna be so thankful this is all set up tomorrow morning, though, because that means I get to sleep in a little longer.

[Haley]

You're welcome.

[Mimi]

Okay, so this one wants to be kept anonymous. She is an rn. So I was working urgent care and had a young girl come in. Hate you both. I'm just gonna continue under 18, but at least 15 years old. See, she had bad stomach cramps.

[Haley]

I'm so. You don't understand what she just did. I'm gonna cry. I am crying. You don't understand what she just did. I'm crying. And we both. We both went like this. We both went like this. I swear to God. We were both, like, trying not to Look. And then we both go. Then our eyes met. It was so funny, dude. All right, all right. I'm just gonna look over here. Go. She's so mad at us. Mom is so mad at us. All right.

[Mimi]

She was 15.

[Haley]

I'm so sorry to whoever's story this is. Dude, we shouldn't have even filmed right now. We're both. We're all so.

[Mimi]

Okay.

[Haley]

We're all so delirious. Mimi, Poop makes people laugh. I love a good poop story. How you do. I do real poop. Like poop pranks are. Wait, funny.

[Jaime]

Can I read an Astel confess that someone gave to me specifically because it had to do with poop?

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Jaime]

All right, here it goes.

[Haley]

She's like, I got it locked and loaded.

[Jaime]

I do. It literally says, hey, ladies, this is a tell just for Haley. It involves poop and buttholes. So my boyfriend likes for me to wear a strap on and ping his butthole from time to time. Okay, no biggie. It is a little awkward, but whatever. He likes it. Well, where the situation comes in is that when his prostate is stimulated and he comes from the stimulation, he shits all over the place. Full blown hot, ooey gooey ripe ass shit blowing out his ooey gooey.

[Haley]

Who describes poop as ooey gooey? I describe brownies as ooey gooey, not shit.

[Jaime]

I don't like ooey gooey. The last time we did this, there was all over the bed, his ass, me, the strap on.

[Haley]

Why are they doing it so much?

[Mimi]

Why is it last time?

[Haley]

Why is it a repeated adventure? Do they think it's gonna get better every time? Maybe it hits like a reflex in his butthole and if he can finally

[Bunny]

release everything he needs to do an enema before.

[Jaime]

No, literally. I'm reading down more and it's says I have told him going forward, if he ever wants his butthole poked again, he will need to clean it out first. Enemas are your friend, Amy.

[Haley]

Thanks, Amy.

[Mimi]

Amy.

[Haley]

I didn't need the ooey gooey gooey.

[Jaime]

The adjectives you used were wild.

[Haley]

Listen, after the first time, somebody just shits ooey gooey turds everywhere. I'm going to not want to them

[Bunny]

with a strap on.

[Jaime]

I would get the ick so bad.

[Haley]

Yeah, like there's no way, dude.

[Mimi]

When I was 18 years old, I had my first serious boyfriend. Pretty much one of those people that's down to explore anything at the time. Well, I decided to let him insert ping pong balls into my butt. Why? I don't know. But here we are. Ping pong balls from beer pong the night before. Yes, we watched them, washed them, you weirdos. Clearly anywh who they're in there. Three of them in fact. All was fun and games and then it came time to take them out. Yep, here comes one, here comes two. But however, three would not come out. It was fully stuck and I immediately started to panic. As one does, we start to try to lube me up and insert fingers squatting as low as I could possibly go and it would not come out. And I don't know what happened next. The next few minutes, sheer panic and the. The sheer will of hearing wild er, stories. I was not about to be one of those. The ball finally came out. And to this day, do not insert any foreign objects near my ass. Ever.

[Tosh]

Like a human gumball machine,

[Haley]

I have had the privilege of watching ping pong balls get shot out of a vagina.

[Mimi]

Lucky.

[Haley]

But never an.

[Tosh]

How far do they go?

[Haley]

They paint. They come out.

[Jaime]

Oh, do they make a sound?

[Haley]

A ping pong ball and a vagina. Like I'm talking like.

[Mimi]

You remember those toys as a kid? You'd stick them in a ball and then squeeze them.

[Haley]

They come out full force. Like I'm telling you. These girls would shoot them out of their vagina.

[Mimi]

I might have to Google that later.

[Haley]

I would like to see Palomino Club. Shout out to Palomino Club in Las Vegas. They get crazy. That's the same place I saw the dude, the watermelon. Yeah, she gets crazy upstairs and downstairs.

[Mimi]

Why have we never gone there?

[Haley]

I told you guys how to do it. Humping the watermelon.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Haley]

I've told this story before on the podcast.

[Mimi]

You don't remember the watermelon?

[Jaime]

Was I dissociating?

[Haley]

I don't know. Maybe. But we went to go see male dancers one night, me and Tosh, and we went downstairs. Upstairs, they were shooting ping pong balls out of their vaginas. And then downstairs this guy is doing this dance, he comes out, he's hot, getting it going. Literally goes down to like dive on the stage and do that thing that like strippers do.

[Jaime]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Sticks his wiener in a frickin watermelon and just starts going to town on the watermelon on stage.

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[Mimi]

Did you finish?

[Haley]

I don't know.

[Tosh]

Was it watermelon season?

[Bunny]

I'm sure.

[Jaime]

I wonder if it was smushy, seedless or not. What if you got a seed stuck in the.

[Haley]

Okay, but how do you even think of like, I'm. You know what I think? Do you ever look at things that are not vaginas and think, I could stick my dick in that?

[Tosh]

I don't. I don't dwell on. Does pass my.

[Jaime]

I feel like most guys do.

[Mimi]

Yeah, I do. And I don't have a penis.

[Jaime]

Okay.

[Tosh]

You just wonder.

[Mimi]

You ever saw a hole and been like, if I had a dick, I'd stick it in there?

[Haley]

It depends on what the hole is.

[Mimi]

Yeah.

[Haley]

No, I don't look at every hole like that.

[Mimi]

No, not every.

[Haley]

You can't be sticking your dick in every hole.

[Jaime]

No.

[Haley]

All right.

[Mimi]

There are some hol though. That looked tempting. I was dating this guy for about six months. Nice guy. Unbeknownst to me, he had been cheating on me the whole time via anal fisting on a site called FetLife. I was unfamiliar with this site at the time when all of this went down. This was like a year ago. My friend found his profile on Facebook dating in his bio, which I also didn't know. He had sadly referenced his BDSM stuff and what he was looking for, which was. Was referenced into the FetLife thing. So we looked onto that site. She said, hey, girl, isn't this your boyfriend? Sure was. For the next five minutes. Me and the girlfriends went down the rabbit hole. Easily found him on the site. And he had been looking for anal fisting people from this site.

[Haley]

He wanted to get fisted or he wanted to put his fist in an a noose.

[Mimi]

I don't know. We found him in a local meetup group looking for. Oh, here we go. We found out him in a local meetup group looking to host to do things do this. After he got off of work, we didn't live together and he got off work at 1am So I would have no way of knowing. When I confronted him, he admitted it and we ended things immediately. What I also find interesting is that our relationship was very vanilla. None of this BDSM inserts ever came up. And he seemed really normal. He was a good boyfriend. So I would have never thought, yeah,

[Haley]

somebody probably shamed him at an early age for a kink that he had. And so he had to mask being a normal person in a relationship and then have his kinky separate fantasy life

[Mimi]

in the closet type thing.

[Haley]

Yeah. Damn, dude, getting fisted is rough, man. She said, I can't even poop. I couldn't imagine getting fisted in my butthole, Especially right now with my hemorrhoid. God.

[Bunny]

Clifford.

[Haley]

Clifford.

[Jaime]

Okay, not mine, but my sister's story. And she's no longer with us, so I'm gonna tell it. This is only for you because you like and buttholes. She said my sister had a thing with this guy. Hideous, in my opinion. I was 21 at the time. We were all drinking and my sister's friend ends up walking me home. My sister had a migraine. She gets in her purse and takes what she thought is Tylenol. Oh, no, they were laxatives. Her and dude end up doing the deed. I was not there for this, but as my sister told it, he was coming and said, wow, you're so wet. Then said, do you smell my sister his whole bed? And it was graphic. She ran to the bathroom and threw herself in the shower to wash the off. She came out to him, nowhere to be seen, with a Walmart bag on top, her shoes with her filled pants, and a sticky note that said, please don't contact me again.

[Mimi]

The sticky note you could have just left. I think she would have known.

[Haley]

Sticky nose. Wild.

[Jaime]

How did you know where a sticky note was?

[Haley]

She was in his house.

[Tosh]

Yeah, but where'd he go?

[Jaime]

Oh, that was. Oh, yeah, it was his house.

[Haley]

Yeah, that's.

[Jaime]

He left his house.

[Mimi]

That's even went on a drive.

[Haley]

He said, I gotta go.

[Jaime]

He said, I need a cig.

[Haley]

Yeah. My thing is, is I don't care how much diarrhea I have. I know when it's coming out.

[Mimi]

Yeah. You didn't know that she was drinking.

[Jaime]

She was drinking and laxative.

[Mimi]

That's.

[Jaime]

She probably felt like she was just like, finishing and it was from a different hole.

[Haley]

Oh, gosh.

[Mimi]

You know how.

[Jaime]

Not just that.

[Mimi]

He the into her

[Haley]

because I went on her. Were they doing anal? Were they doing analysis?

[Jaime]

I don't know.

[Haley]

I have so many questions.

[Mimi]

I have somebody going.

[Haley]

I mean, I. I'm really into the story. I gotta know. I started a buddy situationship after getting out of a bad relationship. My friends with benefit was a dreamy 6:2 bartender I worked with at the time.

[Bunny]

He was hot.

[Haley]

He had confidence and a swagger I couldn't deny. He bragged at how he loved going down on women and promised when I got to experience that. It would change my world that with the fact that he had a big dick, I was genuinely giddy when the time came to experience this alleged mind blowing experience.

[Bunny]

We're in my bed, and he starts making his way down south.

[Haley]

He's butt ass naked, fully bricked up, and he starts his magic. I'm laying there trying to get into it because I. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. And then it happened. He farted one long poof. And it just kept going like nothing happened. And he just kept going like nothing happened. It smelled very bad, and I didn't know what to do. I pushed myself up and said I didn't think I could get into this, into the right mood. And he said we should chill out for a bit. He was offended and then told me that maybe, just maybe I had a weird vagina. No, bro. Maybe you should make an effort to hold it in when you've talked such a big game.

[Tosh]

Was he in, like, sniper position or.

[Haley]

I think he was crouching tiger.

[Tosh]

Crouching tiger. Oh, that'll do it,

[Haley]

Dude. Okay, first of all, ladies, if a man tells you he can eat, he cannot.

[Mimi]

Nope.

[Haley]

Any dude that brags about eating the cat and being a. A pro at it does not. Can't even find the knob. All right? They're liars. I've. Trust me, they don't know what they're talking about. Secondly, normally men who have big dicks and swagger and are super hot are just gonna be a letdown. Yeah. Not one of them is gonna be a great story to write home about unless you just them and leave and never talk to them again. Other than that, the majority of the time, they are a disappointment. Speaking from experience. So, yeah, I had one time.

[Mimi]

Oh, I'm sad.

[Jaime]

Say it.

[Mimi]

I'm ready.

[Haley]

I'm thirsty. One time, there was this guy. We used to call him Carlos Asada because he was

[Mimi]

happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone.

[Haley]

Happy Cinco de Mayo. So fitting. All right, so we called him Carlos Asada because he was so hot. I'm talking like, oh, my God, this dude was just unbelievably hot and just perfect. Body in shape, beautiful face. And one night, I finally got to take him for a spin, and we went to his house, and I had been drinking tequila and all that stuff. Anyways, I go down on him, and he smells so bad, so fucking bad, to the point where I didn't even

[Bunny]

want to have sex with him.

[Haley]

I just ended up sucking him off. I get in my car to go home. And all I can smell is that smell of him. And I'm literally on the 215 with a bag from Smith's, a grocery bag, projectile vomiting as I'm driving down the freeway because he smelled so bad.

[Mimi]

Nada on the asada.

[Haley]

Yes. Nada on the sada, baby, I'm telling you. Oh, no, it.