Ask, Tell, Confess: Yelp Reviews About Your EX

Summary

Dumb Blonde Podcast

Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: Yelp Reviews About Your EX
Host: Bunnie XO
Release Date: December 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode is a hilarious dive into the world of "Yelp reviews" for exes, as members of the Dumb Blonde community submit satirical, biting, and sometimes even kind reviews about their former romantic partners. Bunnie XO and her co-hosts bring their trademark humor and irreverence, exploring uncomfortable truths and laugh-out-loud moments about breakups, passive-aggressiveness, and relationship lessons. The episode blends real talk about healing and boundaries with unfiltered, comedic storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up After the Holidays

• The hosts reunite after a rare two-week break, swapping stories about relaxing Thanksgivings and no-longer-hosted family holidays.
• Bunnie shares how she and her husband enjoyed a low-key, no-stress Thanksgiving, marking a new family tradition (05:08).

"It was the first year in a decade that we have not hosted a Thanksgiving. And I gotta say, we loved it." – Bunnie (05:09)

2. Lifestyle Changes & Getting Older

• Bunnie reflects on how life changes with age, joking about how her “party supplies” have evolved from cocaine to bags of electrolytes (07:00).
• The group laughs about how priorities shift in your forties, and how self-care replaces wild nights.
• The importance of magnesium and hydration routines gets a funny spotlight, contrasting the past and present.

"Now I use my pinky nail to put magnesium in my water bottle." – Bunnie (06:41)
"You need electrolytes. So I pulled out a baggie. It looks like an eight ball of cocaine. And she's like, what is our life?" – Bunnie (07:10)

3. Are You Friends with Your Exes?

• The hosts discuss whether they stay in touch with exes, how to maintain civility, and when to cut ties—especially when lines are crossed.
• Bunnie recounts her own experiences, from amicable relationships to drawing hard boundaries when an ex’s behavior became unacceptable (13:07).

"My exes don't hate me. I get along with all of them. Except for one. Yeah, and that's his choice because he's just emotional." – Bunnie (12:18)
"I try to be friends with everybody. My abusive relationship...I've tried so hard to just like, move on from that entire situation and be cordial with him, and he just will not." – Bunnie (13:54)

• The group agrees that it's possible to be cordial without remaining close, and that letting go of resentment is healthier than holding onto anger (14:53).

"Being able to be like, hey, you were a moment in my life. I don't need to hate you...because that shit builds up in your liver." – Bunnie (14:53)

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Main Segment: Yelp Reviews About Your Ex (16:17)

The core of the episode features hosts reading and reacting to real (and anonymous) "Yelp reviews" submitted by listeners about their ex-partners.

1. The Overqualified (and Problematic) Ex

Timestamp: 16:22

• Jason reads a review: “If you’re looking for an alcoholic woman beating, church-going man with a huge dick, I recommend you give him a try...Ten and a half inches long and as wide as a Coke can.”
• The hosts erupt with laughter, commenting on the paradox of toxic men often having "beautiful appendages."

"And why is it the most toxic men have the most beautiful appendages?" – Bunnie (16:54)

2. The Passive-Aggressive Ghoster

Timestamp: 17:39

• Bunny reads a review about a man who pouted instead of dealing with conflict, ghosted, and posted cryptic digs online—then, in a twist, suddenly died.

"He ghosted me. Posted cryptic whiny messages, obviously about me...And then he died." – Yelp Review read by Bunny (18:02)
"I can't stand passive aggressiveness. It will piss me off. I'll fight you." – Bunnie (18:20)

• The discussion highlights the importance of direct communication and not airing grievances online.

3. Communicating Feelings & Family Dynamics

• The hosts discuss healthy confrontation and expressing feelings, even if it's through letters—using Bunnie's daughter as an example (20:23).

“Some people can't handle the face to face conversation, but we're going to address it.” – Bunnie (20:59)

• Sharing their own family code words for difficult conversations ("Banana" for Bunnie's family, "Peaches" for Jason's), they underline the value of clear communication (24:52).

4. "Return to Sender" Exes

Timestamp: 26:38

• Olivia reads: "Negative 100 out of 10. He thought he'd try to make a family with me, but when it came to the nitty gritty, he said, 'peace out.' His family is extremely toxic...the man had zero hygiene and smells like twisted tea and dirty balls 24/7."

"If you receive him, please return to sender immediately. Don't even look in the box." – Yelp Review read by Olivia (27:05)

• Sparks a segue into personal hygiene stories, with promises of a future episode dedicated to the subject.

5. The "Bag of Chips" Ex

Timestamp: 27:50

• Jason reads: “Dating him was like opening a fresh bag of potato chips. Looked great on the shelf...but mostly air, very little substance...Would I reorder? Probably not. Would I admit I finished the entire bag anyway? Unfortunately, yes.”

"I can compare that to so many people in my life." – Jason (28:35)
"It's not even romantic. I've had friends like that." – Bunnie (28:45)

• The group analyzes what "air" represents—lack of depth or substance.

6. Lifted Truck & Red Flags

Timestamp: 29:37

• Bunnie reads: “Should have known the moment I saw that lifted truck…and the ‘I swear I don’t have anger issues’ steroid sitting in the cup holder...The higher the truck, the smaller the...this man was practically driving a skyscraper.”

• Laughter at stereotypes, with hosts riffing about "roid rage," anger, and poor follow-through in relationships.

"Between the roid rage, the tiny energy, and the fact that I'm still not convinced he can fully wipe his own ass with those balloon animal arms..." – Yelp Review read by Bunnie (30:36)

7. Snapchat Cheater & Fart Etiquette

Timestamp: 31:43

• Olivia reads: “10 out of 10. Don’t recommend. Loves to talk to multiple women on Snapchat, but says you are the only one...Also farted on me the first hangout.”

"Somebody farts on me the first hangout. I'm leaving." – Bunnie (32:18)

• Hilarious detour into relationships, "fluff" vs. "fart", and the etiquette of bodily functions in long-term relationships.

8. Old People and Bathroom Stories

Timestamps: 37:28–39:22

• The group shares stories about how older generations become less concerned with public etiquette, troughing out their funniest tales of bathroom accidents and why you should take your shoes off after shopping at Walmart.

"By the time you're 75, you earn the right to just shit your pants." – Bunnie (37:29)
"There’s this literal trail of s**t from bathroom to front door." – Jason (39:22)

• More laughter about gross-out moments and the realities of aging.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Letting Go:
  "You were a moment in my life. I don't need to hate you, and I don't need to carry any disdain." – Bunnie (14:53)

• On Toxic Traits:
  "Say what you mean, mean what you say and say how you feel. Because I'm always going to tell you how I feel." – Bunnie (18:46)

• On Flirting and Farting:
  “You're the only other person I've heard call a fart a fluff.” – Bunnie (33:36)

• On Age and Decorum:
  "By the time you're 75, you earn the right to just shit your pants." – Bunnie (37:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment / Discussion | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 05:01–07:43 | Holiday catch-up, life changes, and new routines | | 12:16–15:23 | Friendship or civility with exes | | 16:17–21:03 | First batch of “Yelp Reviews” about exes | | 21:03–24:50 | Healthy communication & family code words | | 26:38–30:37 | More ex reviews: hygiene horror stories & "chips" analogy| | 31:43–34:21 | Social media cheating, fart stories, and couple etiquette| | 37:28–39:22 | Old people, public bathrooms, and why shoes come off |

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Tone and Style

• Comedic, irreverent, and unfiltered: The hosts spare no details and encourage laughter at the absurdities of dating and relationships.
• Candid and supportive: While humor abounds, there are strong undercurrents about boundaries, personal growth, and emotional health.
• Conversational and relatable: The stories and submissions feel like a group chat with your funniest—and most brutally honest—friends.

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How to Submit Your Own Ex Review

Listeners are encouraged to join the Dumb Blonde Facebook group and submit their stories for possible future episodes (40:54).

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Final Thoughts

This episode blends outrageous listener stories with authentic talk about emotional clarity, boundaries, and the messy realities of breakups and moving on. The "Yelp Review" format provides a creative lens to reflect on what we learn (and survive) in love. For fans of comedy and real-life relationship confessions, this installment is as raw as it is cathartic.

Transcript

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Ask, tell, confetti.

[Zoe]

Ask, tell. Confess.

[Jason]

I ask to confess.

[Bunny]

Hello friends. Welcome to another episode of and where's my saxophone?

Where the is my saxophone? Why is it not here?

[Jason]

Should just be on display behind.

[Bunny]

No, I want to be like.

[Zoe]

I.

[Bunny]

Want to blow a note in the saxophone.

[Jason]

Maybe that's why you're like so sores because you were giving that your everything.

[Bunny]

No, I'm sore from this retta. And if you guys want to know about the retta, feel free to listen to the freaking episode that's dropping this week of us. It's. It's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.

How's everybody doing? I feel like we haven't sat down in forever.

[Jason]

Oh, this had like two weeks off, guys.

[Bunny]

God, we never have two weeks off.

[Jason]

No, never ever.

[Bunny]

The holidays. I hope everybody had a really good holiday.

What did you guys do?

[Jason]

I. I got to spend it with my family and I was so thankful for that. You too?

[Olivia]

Yeah, I went back home.

[Bunny]

Yeah, Jay and I were on the couch by 3pm that's nice. We literally. It was the first year in a decade that we have not hosted a Thanksgiving. And I gotta say, we loved it. I don't think we'll ever host another Thanksgiving again. It was just that good.

[Jason]

She Said I may have around and found out, and I like it.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

Like, it was so good, but. Yeah.

[Jason]

What did you guys eat, though?

[Bunny]

We ordered a bunch of sides from bars. Soul food. Because we just love their food and their stuffing is just so amazing. And then I made two turkeys and a ham, and we had a ton of food left over, so I just gave it to all of our security guards and made people take it home. Yeah, I made everybody to go plates, and then whatever was left over, we just gave to all our security guards. My. Our one security guard, Justin, is. He's got, like, a big family, so we literally just sent him home with sheets and pans of just food. Like, here you go. And, like, every week that I get my meal preps, I will pick out the ones that I like, and then I'll give him the rest of whatever's left over because I'm really picky, and he loves them. So I just send him home with all this food. And, like, it's so funny because it's like this, you know, big fucking Alpha dude, and he's like, loves his methodology meals, and it's, like, so funny. He's getting, like, 14 grams of fiber each meal go off.

Thank you, child.

It's okay. I ordered some, so we have some getting delivered. I. I appreciate you. Thank you.

[Olivia]

Bye.

[Bunny]

Have a great session. Yes. Love you. All right, guys, you guys, you can leave this in. Jason. I used to snort cocaine and use my pinky nail to snort cocaine, and now I use my pinky nail to put magnesium in my water bottle.

[Jason]

What a life change.

[Bunny]

I have not been feeling great because of this freaking retta. So if you guys want to hear about it, just go and listen to this, this week's podcast, and we go into a little bit more detail about what happened and stuff. But, yeah, My, how times have changed. It was the funniest thing because Momo and I were driving yesterday, and she wasn't feeling good, and I was like, you need electrolytes. So I pulled out a baggie. It's literally a sandwich bag full of electrolytes. It looks like an eight. Like an eight ball of cocaine. And she's like, what is our life? She's like, this is it never used to be like this. I was like, now I know what parents were talking about, like, have fun while you're young, because in your 40s, hits different.

[Jason]

You got baggies of electrolytes in your.

[Bunny]

But at least you guys know I practice what I preach, so I literally live for this. This magnesium is like, bro.

[Jason]

Yeah. I always feel like it fixes you so quickly too. You're like, hold on, let me get my magnesium. And then you're good in 10 minutes.

[Olivia]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Yeah. All right, so what did you do? What did you do for today? You made people write Yelp reviews.

[Jason]

Yeah. So on our Facebook, on the dumb blonde Facebook, we have a private group for everyone, and the members were able to submit Yelp reviews for their exes. And I, I was like, I don't know what to expect out of this, but, man, when I started reading through them, I was like, this is a segment for Astal Confess. For sure, people really laid into it. There was some nice ones, but, yeah, these are funny.

[Bunny]

Yeah, I read a few of them and I was like, oh, my God. I wonder if any of my exes wrote a Yelp review about me, what it would say. What do you think yours would say?

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[Jason]

Oh gosh. I haven't dated over. I don't know.

[Bunny]

Me either.

[Jason]

But I'm trying to think. I was like a teenager when I dated. So maybe just that she's a.

[Haley]

I.

[Jason]

Think mine would be like.

[Bunny]

Mine would be like she's a.

Nymphomaniac.

Definitely bipolar, possibly never diagnosed, but for sure has something wrong with her.

Yeah, that's probably what they'd say.

[Jason]

My exes probably hate me.

[Bunny]

I have a lot of exes. My exes don't hate me. I get along with all of them. Except for one. Yeah, and that's his choice because he's just emotional.

[Jason]

I was a human.

[Bunny]

Yeah, I mean, I was a human too.

[Haley]

Are you friends with exes?

[Bunny]

Yeah, I am. I'm friends. Well, look, I use that term loosely.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Because I wouldn't say like I'm like I talk to him every day or like and like we're Buddy, Buddy.

But yeah, we're definitely cordial.

Like, you know, I've been married twice. My one of my ex husbands is remarried to a beautiful girl who we actually grew up with. And I'm friends with both of them. I would talk to her more than I've talked to him, but I have talked to him before and like, you know, we're cool. He gets it. That I was crazy when I was younger and, yeah, you know, we just let bygones be bygones. And then my other ex. You guys just read about this in the book, but my other ex, I literally was helping him out until recently.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

When he decided to go online and be like, I'm Bunny, xo's ex husband. Ask me anything you want. And I was like, you know, I don't need people like you in my life, especially with as much as I have tried to help you with and do for you. Like, that was just a shady.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

And it. It was because of him. He had texted me and said he was dating a 19 year old or. No, I'm sorry, 17 year old. Right. And just turned 18. And I was like, bro, that's borderline pedo. I was like, you're 45 years old. Like, that's disgusting. My daughter is 17 and if she came home with a man like you, I would chase you off with a shotgun.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Bunny]

So he.

He told me I was being a hater because of it, and I and went to the Internet and did that, and I was just like, you know what? You showed me who you were in that moment, and that's disgusting.

[Jason]

No.

[Bunny]

So.

But like, I try to be friends with everybody. My abusive relationship that he. I've tried so hard to just like, move on from that entire situation and be cordial with him, and he just will not. Like, nothing works. Are you guys friends with exes?

[Haley]

Not really. Just because I'm more of out of sight, out of mind. So it's not that I go out of my way to not be in touch with exes. I just. I fill my brain with other stuff.

[Bunny]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

I get that. I mean, I, like, I'm friends with one of them on Facebook kind of thing, but like, we're both married with children and we were best friends before it and we shouldn't have dated. Right. That was the issue was that we dated and it was like, oh, we ruined a really good friendship.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

It was never the same after, of course. And so, I mean, we still, like, in passing, like, I'll like a picture right Little family and stuff. But no, I don't hang with exes. And of course, yeah, I don't. I'm here in Tennessee. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, we. I mean, we were both transplants to here, so it's like our exes aren't even around here.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

But maybe, like, on social media, I.

[Bunny]

Think being cordial and being able to be like, hey, you were a moment in my life. I don't need to hate you, and I don't need to carry any disdain, you know, because that shit builds up in your liver, and you live with that for the rest of your life if you're angry at somebody like that. So I think it's cool. You don't need to hang out with them. No, because I think that would be disrespectful if you're just, like, constantly like, hey, I'm gonna go hang out with my ex, honey. You know? Like, that's weird, but I think, you know, liking a Facebook post of their family or like, just being like, hey, man, we were wild kids. Let's laugh about it.

[Jason]

Exactly. You know, I've never had relationships in my, like, adulthood. I've always been with my husband. So all those relationships were teenagers. And, yeah, I was like. We were what, 16, 17 years old. Like, that's. I don't even consider that, like, an ex. I guess it was like, we.

[Zoe]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Around. In high school. Like.

[Olivia]

Like junior high.

[Jason]

High school. Yeah, exactly. No, that doesn't seem like a relationship now. If I was in my 20s and had a serious relationship with someone and then, like, tried to keep them in my life. No, but, yeah, no, I'm. I've been with Jason since I was turning 19.

[Bunny]

So, yeah, like, he raised.

[Jason]

Have you guys seen that trend on Tick Tock where it was like, if you, you know, have a bad attitude, you blame it on your husband because he's raised you for the past 15 years. That's my husband. I'm the way I am because of you.

[Bunny]

Yeah, I love that. All right, so who's gonna kick this off? Reading some of these Yelp reviews?

[Jason]

I got a really good one I want to kick off. No. Okay, so this one.

So she gave him one star. If you're looking for an alcoholic woman beating, church going man, that's one of mine.

[Bunny]

Damn it.

[Jason]

Church going man with a huge dick. Then I recommend you give him a try. Added, I must give stars for that gorgeous dick. Ten and a half inches long and as wide as a Coke can. It was so beautiful. Always worked whenever you needed It.

[Bunny]

God, it sounds glorious.

I mean, the description alone was grand.

[Jason]

Gave it to us.

[Bunny]

And why is it the most toxic? Men have the most beautiful appendages. Like they literally have the most beautiful cops.

[Jason]

That's why.

[Bunny]

Yeah, they're all cops. That's all they care about. They've never had to develop. It's like the ugly girl. Like when you grew up ugly, you got to develop your personality because you weren't pretty when you were younger.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

You know, so it's like guys, they don't have to develop a personality because.

[Jason]

They'Re like, I got that.

[Bunny]

Yeah, because they got a big old hog in between their thighs.

All right, I'm gonna read one next because you will probably be taking mine.

[Jason]

Probably.

[Bunny]

Hold please.

[Jason]

It's the fuzzy slippers peeking over the desk for me.

[Bunny]

Okay, this one, the passive aggressive ghoster aggressive. 0 out of 5 stars. When I asked him how he handled conflicts and he said he was the type to pout, I should have ran. Then he then ghosted me. Posted cryptic whiny messages, obviously about me on in Facebook groups. We were both in.

Oh, well, it was short lived and.

I upgraded to a much, much better guy. And then he died. So I didn't have to worry about his passive aggressive little social media digs for very long.

[Jason]

What a zinger, though. Okay.

[Bunny]

What a ride.

[Jason]

Yeah, I was in it and then she was like, then he died.

[Bunny]

Yeah, that's rough. I can't stand passive aggressiveness. Yeah, passive aggressiveness will piss me off.

I'll fight you.

My husband, when we first got together was passive aggressive and I was like.

[Jason]

Oh no, how'd you break him of it?

[Bunny]

I just had to tell him, like, just be straight up now. Look at him now.

[Jason]

He'll say it as it is.

[Bunny]

Yeah, now. But when we first got together, oh my God, it was so passive, passive aggressive. And I was just like, I can't.

Handle that passive aggressive shit.

Say what you mean, mean what you say and say how you feel. Because I'm always going to tell you how I feel, you know, and it's not fair to the other person that you're with to pussyfoot around like, tell me what the is going on. So either A, I can fix it or tell you to go yourself, you know, so yeah, the passive aggressive can't do that. And then you go to the Internet afterwards. I hate that. Go to the Internet.

[Jason]

Oh, they'd be posting on the Internet immediately. Yeah, ex employees like that. That I'm like, God, I can't handle it. I just Can't. It's the cryptic. Like, you can clearly tell. They add that one detail to make you know that it's about you. But then, like, if you call them out on it, they're like, oh, it was just a generalized pose. I just shared.

[Bunny]

Relatable.

[Jason]

Relatable.

[Bunny]

You don't have balls.

You have no fudgeing balls. If you have to. If you can't say something to somebody's face or you don't even have to be confrontational. If you can't present, if you can't have amicable confrontation. I feel like, you know, like, you guys can both sit down and have a conversation of like, hey, man, you did this. And this is how it makes me feel and this is how I'm receiving it.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

I think that's what grown adults should do.

[Jason]

Most definitely.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Comfortable with uncomfortable conversations.

[Bunny]

Absolutely.

[Jason]

So important. Yeah. You have to. When you can apply that in any point of your life.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Business, personal, even with your children.

[Bunny]

Yes.

[Jason]

I can sit down with my kids and be like, hey, when you said that, this is how it made me feel. And then I need to know where you came from. Where was that stemmed from? Why did you say it and what was the meaning behind it? And then we work through that, you know, that's so important.

[Bunny]

Yeah. That was a huge thing for Bailey. Bailey was always. She would get so mad and she would hold so much in and she didn't know how to verbalize it. So I would always tell her, write me a letter. And to this day, even when she gets upset and, like, she can't verbalize it, she'll bring me a three page letter, you know, and I appreciate. I know, and I appreciate it because at least she can get what she needs to say out. And that was kind of our thing that we worked out was like, hey.

Don'T hold this in.

Like, let's talk about it when you're ready to talk about it.

[Jason]

Absolutely. And however you need to communicate, it does not have to be face to face. I love that you had her writing letters.

[Bunny]

Some people can't handle the face to face conversation, but we're going to address it.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

So it's either face to face or you address it in a letter. And then I sit down with the letter and you and we talk about it. But I always tell her, no matter.

What you put in the letter, I'm.

Not going to get mad at you. I will hear you and we'll talk about it, you know, so, you know.

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[Jason]

I love that we have a code word in our family.

[Bunny]

Banana.

[Jason]

Peaches.

[Bunny]

Ours is Banana.

[Jason]

I love that ours is Peaches. It's like, hey, I did something I need to confront about the situation. Like, you can be. A Uncomfortable conversation needs to be had when Peaches is brought up.

[Bunny]

What a sweet terminology for a shitty situation, though.

[Jason]

Well, you gotta come at it like.

[Olivia]

Hey, Peaches, Peaches, just sit on the couch.

[Bunny]

Here's. Hey, here's my peach.

[Jason]

That's Olivia. That's literally Olivia. I should, like, do something. And she's like, all right, guys. Peaches. And then we like it, like, kind of breaks it. Like it brings you into a conversation in a better mood than like, you.

[Olivia]

Know, you're about to get into.

[Jason]

Exactly. So it's like, all right, cool, everyone, guards down. We need to accept this and talk about it. I can't get over what I'm looking at over here.

[Bunny]

Put it up, put it up. No, it's got to be on your foot. Give them the dazzle.

Can we see him on camera?

[Haley]

Yeah. Turn them a little bit more towards the exit. There you go.

[Bunny]

There you go. Go upside down, Haley. Look at those perfect little French tootsies, bro.

[Jason]

The fact that they have French tips on them and they have the ridges.

[Bunny]

The nail beds are perfect.

[Haley]

Good cuticles.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Jason]

No.

[Bunny]

Pet them. No, no.

[Haley]

It's very Spy Kids. Guys ever watch that?

[Bunny]

We have guests.

[Haley]

Yeah, thump them.

[Bunny]

But I said we have guests that sit there. You guys, over here.

[Jason]

That's. I just.

[Bunny]

I'm sorry. Can you hear me burping in the microphone and everything, dude. God, I'm going Through it.

Greta. All right, you go. You go, my little horny toad.

[Olivia]

Okay, this is negative 100 out of 10. He thought he would try to make a family with me, and then when it really came down to nitty gritty in the parent part, he said, peace out. His family also is extremely toxic and likes to fight with anyone who gets to challenge these, their precious little grandson, who's 38, by the way. Oh, also, the man had zero hygiene and smells like twisted tea and dirty balls.

[Bunny]

24 7.

[Olivia]

If you receive him, please return to sender immediately. Don't even look in the box. Just send him straight back to hell where he belongs.

[Bunny]

She didn't hold back. That was a baby daddy that. She was like this.

[Jason]

Dude, you are having a rough time. Dang. Twisted tea, though.

[Bunny]

That's what she say. Twisted tea. And what else?

[Haley]

Ball sack.

[Bunny]

Dirty balls. Ew, dude. 24 7, we're talking about hygiene in the next podcast, too. You guys gotta listen to that. Yeah, we're gonna teach you guys how to have some good freaking hygiene.

[Jason]

Absolutely.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

Nobody wants to smell like twisted tea.

[Jason]

And dirty ball sacks.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

What a comparison.

[Jason]

I know. Of all things.

[Olivia]

All right, that's what got me on that.

[Jason]

This one says 2 stars. Good packaging, mostly air dating him.

[Haley]

I get it. I know what you're saying was like.

[Jason]

Opening a fresh bag of potato chips. Looked great on the shelf. Shiny packaging, irresistible in the moment, and then poof. 75. Air satisfying in tiny doses. Easy to snack on when bored. Dangerous if you're hungry for anything real. Once you get past the crunch, you realize you are working way too hard for very little substance, and the whole bag disappears way too fast, leaving you wondering why you didn't just make a sandwich. Would I reorder? Probably not. Would I admit I finished the entire bag anyways? Unfortunately, yes.

[Olivia]

Oh, that's a great review.

[Bunny]

That is the best review I've ever heard in my life.

[Jason]

Good. And I can compare that to so many people in my life.

[Olivia]

I've had that a lot.

[Jason]

So nice.

[Bunny]

I've had friends.

[Jason]

Yeah, I can compare it to a lot.

[Bunny]

It's not even romantic. I've had friends like that that are just. Just a lumpy bag of potato chips.

[Zoe]

Yeah.

[Haley]

What do you think the air was that she was referring to? Like, was it the ick? Like, what do you think was air?

[Jason]

Was. No, no, such as meaning.

[Bunny]

Like, no substance. Like, Like. Okay, so you know when you open a bag of chips, how it looks like it's full, but then you open it up and there's only like that much chips in it. That's what she said.

[Olivia]

I feel like that's like lights on, no one's home, kind of.

[Santa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Haley]

So he was like, attractive, but nothing couldn't handle.

[Bunny]

Yeah, exactly. Couldn't hold the conversation. Yeah, like, that's why she said whenever you read, there's something about substance and it gets dangerously low or something like that. So I hate that. I hate when you cannot have a conversation with a person.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Bunny]

Like you need to stimulate my mind before you can stimulate my body. For sure if it's sexual, but even like in friendships, if you're vapid and I can't conversate with you. Yeah, bro, you gotta go.

[Jason]

Absolutely.

[Bunny]

That or you're just gonna be my good time Charlie. The girl that I call the girl or the guy that I call out to have fun with and you know, just send home afterwards because. Yeah, you can't do that. All right, well, I don't know how I'm gonna follow up that grand review. Let me see what I got over here. Okay. This one is a one out of a five star, so at least he got one. Should have known the moment I saw that lifted truck. And the. And the I swear I don't have anger issues. Steroid sitting in the cup holder. The science is clear. The higher the truck, the smaller the. And baby, this man was practically driving a skyscraper. Between the roid rage, the tiny energy, and the fact that I'm still not convinced he can fully wipe his own ass with those balloon animal arms, it was giving red flags. Talked big, delivered little. Couldn't finish the job ever. Performance deflated, follow through non existent excuses.

Olympic level.

Overall, would not date again, would not recommend, but would use as a warning label for future girls.

[Olivia]

That sounds like someone I know.

[Jason]

It's like, sounds like except for the roids, all the kids I grew up with.

[Bunny]

Oh, dude, dudes are the worst. They are the worst.

[Haley]

Aren't they always, like, sweaty too?

[Bunny]

No, but they're always angry.

[Olivia]

They're red.

[Bunny]

They're either sweaty or they're red.

[Olivia]

And he would grow extra hair so like I would hug him and feel his hair through his shirt.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I thought Lloyds made the hair fall out. Don't they bald?

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah, on top. But the hair grows somewhere else always.

[Olivia]

You can always tell.

[Bunny]

Yeah, the little buttholes look like Peter cottontails.

[Jason]

Stop.

[Bunny]

Yeah, they bend over and it's like just a little poof of ball of hair.

[Olivia]

And it makes your balls smaller, right?

[Bunny]

Yeah. Yep. Balls shrink up like it's A up situation.

[Jason]

No, I. It reminds me of the movie Grown Ups or the Guy.

[Olivia]

Haley.

[Jason]

Ladies.

Oh, gross.

[Bunny]

All right, who's next?

[Olivia]

I got one. 10 out of 10.

[Bunny]

Go toes.

[Olivia]

10 out of 10. Don't recommend. Loves to talk to multiple women on Snapchat, but says you are the only one. Don't ever date someone with a Snapchat. Will tell other women you're his cousin on there too when posting pics with you.

[Jason]

Ooh.

[Olivia]

Didn't know how to spell my name over a month in and also farted on me the first hangout. Immature little boy who needs to heal his trauma. Return to cinder real quick.

[Bunny]

All right, well, she said, farted on me first hangout. So she went back for more.

[Haley]

Yeah, that's on her.

[Bunny]

Yeah, she went back for more. That's. You might have invited that into your life, honey. Somebody farts on me the first hangout. I will. I'm leaving. I'm like, that's you. Let me hear you fart. I'm getting up and rolling out like Chachi. Okay.

[Jason]

I just found out that Jaime just farted in front of Brooke, like, for the first time. For the first time Just recently? Yeah, like, within the.

[Haley]

It was awesome. I thought she was gonna be so mad at me, and I was like, wait, you're not mad? She thought it was funny.

[Jason]

They've been together, but it was like.

[Haley]

Been together five years. First time, first fluff.

[Bunny]

Okay, so tell me. Break this down for me. I need to know how it happened.

[Haley]

Okay. So I was making a sandwich.

[Olivia]

Make the sound. Make the sound.

[Haley]

So I was making a sandwich, and I was also in the kitchen away from her. So she was watching Mormon wise or something. And I really did have to fluff. So I held it and I held it, but I reached down into the fridge to grab something and it went out like, it was like. Like very, like, quick but, like, apparent. It happened. And then she didn't say anything.

She didn't say anything. So I'm like, cool. She didn't hear it. And then three minutes later, she's like, did you fart?

[Olivia]

And I was like, you were in the clear.

[Haley]

Yeah. Thinking I was good. I think I was good.

[Jason]

And I was, like, super in it.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

She let me sit.

[Haley]

Right. She called me out on it.

[Bunny]

You're the only other person I've heard call a fart a fluff. I call it a fluff, too.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Haley]

I think got it from you.

[Jason]

Yeah, I heard you call it a fluff.

[Bunny]

That's amazing. I love that.

[Haley]

It's A. It's a less aggressive word than fart, bro.

[Bunny]

You're fluffing while you're making a sandwich.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Well, in the kitchen, that's like my husband. He'll be eating, and he'll just be like, the other morning, because we eat breakfast together now because Tyson makes our breakfast together. That's like our thing. We eat breakfast together, and he literally just starts ripping ass. And he's like, oh, sorry, I didn't know you were there.

Normally not there. So he has to get used to me being there. But I'm like, still, when you're alone, this is what you're doing is just farting in your food. Like, what are we doing? Yeah, like, what are we doing? Like, this is not okay.

[Jason]

Have you seen Jason's new way of farting? Where he squats?

[Mrs. Claus's Sister]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Zoe]

Zoe. This thing weighs a ton. Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[Santa]

Santa.

[Bunny]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Zoe]

He's talking to you britches.

[Jason]

I'm not.

[Mrs. Claus's Sister]

Of course he did.

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[Olivia]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Okay. He did that in public. We're at Walmart. And he got mad because I told him he couldn't have something. He said.

[Haley]

Wait, what did you tell him he couldn't have?

[Bunny]

Wait, so does it force a fart out when he squats?

[Jason]

Every time it sounds like he's ripping his butt open. Have you watched the video?

[Bunny]

I have not.

[Jason]

Okay, let me show you real quick. It literally sounds like he like rips his butthole open.

[Haley]

It's a scary game to play because that's all gravity going down.

[Jason]

That's what I'm saying. And the fact that you did it in Walmart.

[Haley]

Walmart.

[Olivia]

I mean, that makes sense.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Walmart's crazy target. No.

[Haley]

Yeah, I walked behind these new squats I've been doing. Ready?

[Olivia]

Why does it sound like a duck?

[Bunny]

Like a high pitch duck?

[Jason]

Okay, this one. Dad. Pages wide. Dad. No.

[Olivia]

It's such a cash activity.

[Jason]

It is. It's very cash. Very, very catch cash. This morning he, we're getting him up and Jason's holding him and I walk up behind him, I like put my arm there and he just starts ripping it on me. And he thinks it is so funny. So then Jason uses him as like a bazooka and is just like pointing his butt at me and farting.

The boy. Mom.

[Bunny]

A whole lot of farting going on.

[Jason]

Okay. Oh.

Okay.

[Haley]

I don't think old people care about farting either.

[Olivia]

Old people don't care about.

[Bunny]

By the time you're 75, you earn the right to just your pants.

[Haley]

Yeah, I wasn't even mad.

[Jason]

75?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Olivia]

I feel like that's young.

[Haley]

No, 75.

[Bunny]

75 is old. I mean, people die at 74.

[Jason]

Wait, I have to tell the story that my mom told me the other day. She told you too? My mom was at Walmart.

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

And she's following. She. She's parked and this car pulls up and there's like a little old lady getting out let out at the front, right? And my mom's walking, she's like, man, it stinks. Walking into Walmart.

And she says she's falling behind this little old lady with white pants on and she is busting it trying to get to the bathroom, right? So my mom also had to go to the bathroom. So she's like. They tend to be going the same way. And she's like, man, I wonder if the sewer is backed up in Walmart. No. And all of a sudden she sees it start dripping out of the bottom of the lady's pants into her shoe. And now it's on the floor of Walmart and it is going from the entrance of Walmart to the bathroom. People don't know what it is. And they're stepping in it and tracking it through Walmart now, right? So my mom's in there and, like, there's a little kid, like, playing in the handicap stall. And the little lady's like, get.

[Bunny]

Move, move.

[Jason]

And my mom was like, like, come here. Like, move, little kid. Like, this lady's gotta go. And I know. And so my mom felt so bad and, like, now there's this literal trail of. From bathroom to front door. So she goes out and she felt. She went over to the pharmacy and got like, one of those packs of wipes. And like, at this time, it has now caused a scene because there's employees everywhere trying to figure out what's happening. And my mom just walked over and, like, with a huge stack of wipes and was like, can you hand it to the lady in the. The handicap stall? She had an accident. And that's what that is. And like, my mom said, like, on people's faces, realizing what this goo was down the aisle.

[Olivia]

And that's why you take your shoes off at the door.

[Bunny]

That poor lady. Take your shoes off.

[Jason]

When you. After you go shopping, you come home.

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

You don't know what's on the bottom of your shoes.

[Olivia]

That's why you never wear your shoes in the house.

[Bunny]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Imagine slipping and falling in something like that.

[Bunny]

No, I. I'll end my life.

No.

[Jason]

She said, that's my 13. 3.

[Bunny]

Jay told me the funniest story the other night. He went party and he, you know, he's been having problems with his tummy. So he like, runs to the bathroom to try to. And a guy follows him in there and he's like, so jelly, you know? And Jay. And Jay goes, listen, man, I'm trying to right now. And if you're talking, I'm not going to be able to. So maybe if you're quiet, I can get a log out. And so the guy just sat there. The guy just sat there waiting for Jay to. Yeah.

[Jason]

No, he waited in the bathroom.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

This is the level of craziness that we're on right now. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jason]

Poor guy.

[Bunny]

Bro Y. So he had to with.

[Olivia]

I'd be so pissed at that person.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You have courtesy flushing as it comes out.

[Bunny]

Oh, my husband.

[Olivia]

Don't come loud.

[Jason]

She'll come.

[Bunny]

Jay does not care. He will blow up a bathroom.

[Jason]

No, she'll come into my house. My shower turns on the sink. Turns on her. Tik toks are on loud, and she's yelling from the bathroom. Turn on something out there.

[Bunny]

Yeah, she does that when we're on tour.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Santa]

Tour.

[Bunny]

All right, guys, I think those were amazing. We can continue those next week because they're really funny. Dude, those are hilarious. Yeah, we'll do those next week again, too.

[Jason]

Submit. You just got to go to the dumb blonde Facebook and become a member of the group.

[Bunny]

Yeah, okay.

Love you guys. Toodaloo.

Bye.

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