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- [00:00]
A
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B
Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for MyPay and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on a J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, my pay spot me and travel perks go to chime.com disclosures.
- [03:05]
A
Is this thing on? Hello friends. Today my guest is one of the voices that basically has woven was woven into the American nighttime culture. Millions of people fell asleep to her voice for decades, including now 8 to 10 million listeners per week on over 250 radio stations. Her audience trusted her with secrets for 40 plus years. And not only that, she's the blueprint for the late night emotional safe space. Ms. Delilah Renee is in the house.
- [03:40]
B
Thank you. Thank you. Wow, I sound so old when you say it. Like.
- [03:46]
A
No, you don't. You sound so cool. I like, I grew up listening to you. Like, I, I know.
- [03:52]
B
I read that in your book.
- [03:53]
A
Yes, yes, yes.
- [03:55]
B
I was like, that's me. She listen to me.
- [03:57]
A
But thank God for you because I grew up on Howard Stern also. And, and it was like you taught me how to be like soft, empathic and like, almost like, you know, feminine. And then I had Howard Stern, on the other hand, teaching you how to be freaking hysterical just being a lunatic. But you know what? He's the nicest guy. Like, I got to meet him this year finally. And he really is not who Howard was back then. And he's like a changed man now. And he's the sweetest human ever. Have you ever got to meet him?
- [04:27]
B
I have not met him, but I have laughed his teacher hysterically at his incredible rudeness.
- [04:33]
A
Oh, it's wild. And. But all the years in radio you two have, the queen of radio and the king of all media have never met.
- [04:41]
B
It's weird. I actually don't know hardly anybody in media.
- [04:45]
A
Wow.
- [04:45]
B
I have been very blessed to be in the public ear, you know, and kind of have a public Persona. And yet I. My life is all very, very, very private.
- [04:59]
A
I learned that as I was researching you and I was studying you. Like it's crazy because like, when people are on tv, I feel like you know everything about them. But then people who are on the radio, it's like we all. We fall in love with your voice. We don't even know what your face looks like half the time. And I had to search and learn. All of this stuff about you and your story and your testimony is absolutely insane. I'm so excited to, like, dive into it because you're a phenomenal human. And just everything you stand for is just. It's amazing.
- [05:30]
B
And trust me, I'm not that phenomenal. I'm really not. I have made more mistakes. And unlike you, who are incredibly bold with your testimony, a lot of my stuff, you know, I don't really put out there the mistakes that I've made and the bad choices I've made. But I serve an amazing God, and because of that, I have had an incredible life. But left to my own devices, I could get myself in a whole lot of trouble.
- [06:06]
A
Well, I had to look up your birthday, and I know you're probably not into astrology or astrological signs, but I looked up your birthday because I'm like, this woman is a natural born rebel. She's a rule breaker. She's just like me. I have to know when her birthday is an Aquarius, just like me. So I was just like, oh, my God, we're.
- [06:22]
B
We're far more alike than you know.
- [06:24]
A
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that we could get into that today because I did watch a ton of, like, pods with you on it, and I've watched a bunch of stuff with you on it, and I do see how you're, like, a little bit evasive with certain things. But I think that your testimony and just who you are and what you've been through and the things that you have put out into the world is what people, especially nowadays, need. You are authentic in your own way, and you are so loving. Like, you lead with love. And to me, that is the most important thing that you can do.
- [06:58]
B
Amen.
- [06:58]
A
Have you always been like that?
- [07:00]
B
I have always. You know, I think it was Lady Gaga that said, I was born this way. And I have always been that person that talks to everybody. I've never met a stranger. I love people. I love people's backstories. I love knowing what brought them to where they are. The downside of that is I get physically ill when somebody is hurting. I thought everybody was that way. I thought everybody, like, had the same sensation. Like, I physically ratch, my stomach turns. I throw up when I'm sharing space with somebody who's going through trauma or hell or especially physical pain. And I only recently realized that not everybody is made that way, which was a shocker to me. I'm like, what do you mean you don't get sick?
- [07:57]
A
You're an empath. And that normally comes from a lot of childhood trauma.
- [08:01]
B
But reading your book, I usually can finish a book in a day. I read very quickly, and it took me weeks because I kept hurting for you and crying for you. And my husband would come in, and I'm blubbering and praying. He's like, you okay? And I'm like, you're just a few years older than my son. And I'm just like, I wish I could have known you when you were a kid.
- [08:29]
A
You know, I would have let you adopt me.
- [08:32]
B
I would have. I would have adopted you in a heartbeat.
- [08:34]
A
We would have been into the dynamic duo.
- [08:36]
B
Yeah. Yeah. I would have helped you get into even more trouble.
- [08:40]
A
Um, hey, listen, I'm always down for a good time. Um, so let's go back to where it all started for you. Um, you do speak on your childhood briefly, and the interviews that I've seen. And from what I gathered, you grew up in kind of a. A. I don't want to say like, a controversial home, but your father was an alcoholic. You went through some things as a child. Can you take me on that journey of your childhood?
- [09:08]
B
Dad was a very high functioning. You know, the more I learn about myself and my issues and my neurodivergency, the more grace I have for my folks.
- [09:19]
A
Isn't it insane?
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B
It is insane. Like, back in the day, we didn't know what being on the spectrum was or being autistic was or being neurodivergent was. And now I'm like, oh, my gosh. My dad was OCD to the max. He was neurodivergent. He was probably off the chart on the autistic spectrum. And he, you know, made himself comfortable in social settings by drinking. And now I can say that with no judgment, no anger, no. No anything.
- [09:51]
A
That's such a beautiful place to be.
- [09:53]
B
It is. But when I was younger, you know, I was busy pointing the finger and playing the blame game, but my mom was classic codependent. Um, we found. I found a few letters when they passed that they had written when they were young. And it was such an unhealthy attachment. And I'm like, gee, I wonder why I've had unhealthy attachments my whole adult life.
- [10:17]
A
Yeah, we. We learn it from our parents.
- [10:20]
B
Yeah. Yeah. You know, you repeat those patterns.
- [10:22]
A
But what were in the letters?
- [10:24]
B
Just a bunch of jealousy. And my mom was from Arkansas. She met my dad when she was a teenager, moved to Oregon. She decided to go home one summ when they were dating to Arkansas. And my dad would write her these letters, like, you better not talk to anybody. You better not, you know, just weird.
- [10:43]
A
Yeah.
- [10:44]
B
You know, controlling, like. Yeah, very controlling. And they were young. She was, like, 19. He was 21.
- [10:50]
A
But they learned. That's learned behavior from your dad's upbringing, too. Like, as you get older, it's like you realize, like, okay, you're a product of your parents. And, I don't know, forgiveness just becomes essential when you get to a certain point in life for your parents.
- [11:05]
B
Yep. And it was. I was living in Boston, and I was going through some stuff, and I was seeing a counselor, and I purposely chose a woman counselor who was the same age, like, exact same age as my mother. And I was working on some stuff, and I was telling her about this woman that was living in my house, and I had custody of her kids, and she had relapsed, and she was back in recovery, and blah, blah, blah. She said, let me understand this. This woman has abused her children. I said, yeah. Said, you're raising her children right now for her. I said, yeah, hopefully she'll, you know, get into recovery and it'll stick this time, and blah, blah, blah. And she said, and you love her? I said, yeah, she's a friend. She said, you can love her, but you can't love and forgive your mom. And yet you say your mom loved you fiercely and never abused you. She goes. And it was in that instant I got goosebumps. She said, your mom is just a woman who was doing the best that she could. And in that instant, something clicked, you know, that epiphany. And I went, oh, my God, my mom is just a woman. Like I am. Made some bad choices. And in that instant, God healed so much. That's powerful and forgave so much. And. Yeah, but I learned from the best. How to have really unhealthy attachments.
- [12:36]
A
Yes. Same sister, same. And I've. You know, with being with my husband, I have learned so much. Him and I have learned so much growing together, trying to break toxic traits that we both learned from our families. So, I mean, it's. We never ask for the trauma that we get put through, but I preach very heavy on the podcast. We don't ask for the trauma that we. That we're put through. But it's our responsibility how we move
- [13:00]
B
forward, how we move forward, how we heal from it.
- [13:02]
A
Yes, absolutely. So circling back to childhood, how many siblings did you have?
- [13:08]
B
I had. There were four in my family. My. My mom had a boy, girl, girl, boy. But then I found out when I was a teenager, I. That I had siblings that lived less than half an hour from us.
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A
Stop.
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B
That we had no idea about. Like, my dad had a family before he met my mom and never told
- [13:32]
A
her or she knew, she knew.
- [13:35]
B
But he forbade anyone else to ever talk about it, ever bring it up. And we lived in the same neck of the woods.
- [13:44]
A
What the hell? And he never went to go see them. He just cut the road.
- [13:47]
B
Never visited, never saw them, never met his son, never laid his son was born after they were divorced.
- [13:52]
A
Right.
- [13:52]
B
And never saw his son, convinced himself it wasn't his son because she. She had had a boyfriend, broke up with him, met my dad, got pregnant as a teenager, married my dad, had a daughter, got pregnant again, and then they divorced. He married my mom, she married her first. First boyfriend. That came back in the picture, right? And the kids never knew that they weren't their stepdad's children.
- [14:23]
A
Wow.
- [14:24]
B
And it wasn't until I was a teenager, I had snuck out of my parents house, got caught, got beat, and got sent to live with my grandparents. And I was crying to my grandma saying, I don't know why dad hates me so much. And she said, baby girl, your dad doesn't hate you. Your dad loves you. He's just afraid you're gonna make the same mistakes he made, and he's trying to keep you off that path. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. Because to me, we had the ideal family. You know, we had a little house in a suburb in a tiny town, we had a car. You know, we had the perfect family, I thought. And that's when she said, actually, I could get killed for this because your dad is verbatim. Grandma spilled the tea. And grandma said, you got a brother and a sister.
- [15:26]
A
Damn. Grandma had been waiting years to let that go. That was therapy for grandma.
- [15:31]
B
Yeah, Grandma. Grandma spilled the tea and she's like, we didn't want your mother to marry him because we knew they he had kids. And how's she gonna talk good about
- [15:42]
A
dad and then be like, oh, by the way, bye bye, bye bye.
- [15:48]
B
And so how did that make. You can't tell anybody. So here I am, 16 years old with this Big old secret, which, of course, I couldn't keep. So I went running once I. Once my folks let me come back home, I went running home and said to my older brother, who was just 16 months older than me, matt, did you know we have a brother and a sister? He's like, you're lying. I said, no, we really do. Grandma said, he's like, he's lying. Turns out, get this. They were the two brothers. Two half brothers. Went to the same community college at the same time, were on campus at the same time, didn't know about each
- [16:25]
A
other, so they didn't know about you guys either.
- [16:28]
B
They didn't know about us. We didn't know about them.
- [16:31]
A
Wow.
- [16:32]
B
My half brother tells me this story now. We're very close, by the way.
- [16:36]
A
Now that is so sweet.
- [16:37]
B
He went to a bar one night, one Saturday night, because my dad was a pool hustler. His son, my half brother, who I'd never met, is a pool hustler. And my brother loved to play pool. So my half brother goes to a bar, and he's playing pool, and somebody walks in and says, you were such an ass last night. And my half brother's like, what are you talking about? I was at home last night. They said, no, you were here running your mouth, being a jerk, drunk, and acting like a fool. And Ken's like, well, I probably was drunk, but I don't remember acting like a fool. And I wasn't here. Turns out my full brother was there the night before playing pool, being a bit of a jerk.
- [17:16]
A
And they look alike.
- [17:18]
B
And they looked enough alike that this person thought that my brother was who?
- [17:24]
A
My brother.
- [17:27]
B
And he said that happened more than once. He would go places, and people would say, you were just here.
- [17:32]
A
That is so crazy.
- [17:33]
B
Isn't that crazy?
- [17:34]
A
That is so. Okay, so how. So Grandma lays this on you. How does this make you feel? Do you go to your mom and tell your mom, too?
- [17:41]
B
Oh, hell, no. No.
- [17:42]
A
Oh, no.
- [17:42]
B
Okay. No, no.
- [17:43]
A
What was your relationship?
- [17:44]
B
I didn't want to betray my grandma. My grandma. I was her favorite person in the universe.
- [17:49]
A
Gotcha. Okay.
- [17:50]
B
And I wasn't going to betray that. So I was in my 20s. I was living in Seattle. I had been disowned by my father,
- [17:56]
A
which we'll get into that.
- [17:58]
B
Not allowed to speak to my mother. And my grandma sent me a clipping in an envelope. And I opened it up, and it was a newspaper clipping saying that my brother, my half brother, had graduated from school, that he had taken a college program for radiology imaging. And she said, I understand he's living in Everett, Washington, which is like, 40 minutes outside of Seattle. I was in Seattle, and I'm, like, looking at his picture, going, oh, my God, that is my brother. Because like I said, my dad always said that he was not his biological child. So I pick up the phone back in the day, this was in the 80s, 1984. And I called 41 1, and I said, ken and gave his last name. And they gave me his phone number. Because he used to be able to do that.
- [18:54]
A
Yes, I remember.
- [18:54]
B
I loved it. And I called his house, and his wife Kelly answered the phone, and I said, is this the Ken Watson residence? And she said, yes. I said, is this Kelly? She said, yes. Who's this? And I said, well, this is going to sound kind of weird, but I think. I think Ken's my brother.
- [19:12]
A
Okay, so when you found out, you never reached out to them or tried to. Okay.
- [19:17]
B
No, I was a teenager.
- [19:18]
A
Okay, gotcha.
- [19:18]
B
I did, like, walk around malls and stuff. I mean, this is a small area. Bunny. We had 3,000 people in my town, 7,000 in his town, which was, like, half an hour south of small area.
- [19:31]
A
Yes.
- [19:32]
B
So I'm walking around because my dad had ice blue eyes. And I'm looking at everybody I see with blue eyes going, are you my brother? Are you my sister?
- [19:42]
A
So you call him, and he gets
- [19:44]
B
on the phone, and he got. Kelly said, hold the line. Hold on. Sky gets on the phone, sounds just like my dad. And we start talking, and I said, I. I think you're my brother. And he says, how could that be? And I said, is your name. And he said, yes. And I said, your dad is Dick Luke? And he said, really? And I said, yeah. Is your older sister Madeline? He said, yes. I said, well, I know she's my sister, but I don't know if you're really my brother. My grandma wasn't sure. And he's like, okay, this is a lot to process.
- [20:22]
A
Yeah, that's it.
- [20:23]
B
I got to call my mom. So we talked for a while. He hung up. He called his mother. His mother confirmed, because she knew about my mom.
- [20:32]
A
Right.
- [20:33]
B
And us kids.
- [20:34]
A
But mom never said anything to her kids either.
- [20:36]
B
Nope.
- [20:37]
A
What a crazy time to be alive. Like, everybody's holding secrets.
- [20:40]
B
Oh, everybody used to be. Now, because of DNA, you can't really do that.
- [20:44]
A
Yeah. Did you want to water or something before we continue?
- [20:47]
B
No, I'm good.
- [20:47]
A
Okay.
- [20:49]
B
So the next weekend, he and Kelly and their new baby Katie drove down from Everett to meet me and My husband, then husband and son. And he got out of the car on the front, and he starts to walk up to my front steps, and I just start bawling because he is the spitting image of my father. The spitting image. Like. Like God cloned my father in this young man. And I'm like, how dad didn't know that you're his son? He says, I've never met the man. I've never seen the man.
- [21:25]
A
Was your dad alive during this time? He was.
- [21:27]
B
Okay, he was, but he had disowned me.
- [21:29]
A
Right.
- [21:30]
B
So we spent the afternoon together, and then the next weekend, our family went up to their house, and for about a year, we saw each other a lot and caught up a lot. And I met my half sister on the phone. That was before video conferences or anything. Zoom calls. But we talked on the phone a lot. And then. We met. And a few months later, he was going to meet our brother, my full brother, his half brother, and my brother and his wife disappeared in a plane accident. And we didn't find the remains for several years. And we had a funeral for him. And that was when my brother met his father.
- [22:21]
A
Wow.
- [22:22]
B
So I went to my brother's funeral for he and his wife, and Ken came, and we're standing together, and he points. He goes, is that him? And I went, oh, my God, you've never met your dad. He was in his 30s at this time. I'm like, you've never met our dad? He's like, nope. So I said, okay, here we go. I took a deep breath and I walked over and I said, because, remember, dad had disowned me. He wasn't even talking to me. Dad, meet your son Ken. Meet our father.
- [23:04]
A
Oh, man. And then I back, okay, drop the grenade and run.
- [23:09]
B
Yeah, I dropped the grenade and ran in to sit down at a funeral. And then we went out to dinner afterwards, which was so surreal, so weird. At the Sizzler Steakhouse.
- [23:21]
A
Oh, good old Sizzler. Bringing families together since 1980.
- [23:25]
B
Yeah. So we had lunch at the Sizzler Steakhouse. And then I left, and Ken left, and he and my dad started a relationship, and dad took him fishing and met his kids and met his daughter. And his daughter, my half sister, who's a couple of years older, got to spend some really good time with him and with our grandma, and they had their own little family reunion, which was amazing.
- [24:00]
A
What a beautiful story. Minus losing the two, but I mean, what a beautiful story. Like, but that's just a testament of you, because you were the vessel that brought everybody together. I mean, grandma dropped the tea, but
- [24:14]
B
then Grandma spilled the tea.
- [24:15]
A
Grandma spilled the tea.
- [24:16]
B
Grandma spilled the tea.
- [24:18]
A
But you brought everybody together and you.
- [24:21]
B
And you know, she spilled the tea because she really, truly wanted me to know that my father did love me.
- [24:26]
A
Yes.
- [24:26]
B
I did not feel it and he did not express it. My dad was not good at expressing emotions, but she wanted him to know that. That his actions were not out of a lack of love, but out of misdirected love. And I think now, as a mom with many adult children, how many times I have acted out of love but not acted in a loving way. So I get it now.
- [24:59]
A
Yeah. No, I can understand that, too. What was your relationship like with your mom?
- [25:05]
B
My mom was a force to be reckoned with. She was big. She was bigger than I am. She was 6 foot tall. I'm 5 10. She was over 6 foot tall.
- [25:15]
A
Wow.
- [25:15]
B
And wore a size 12 men's shoe. Wow. Mom was a big girl.
- [25:19]
A
Yeah.
- [25:20]
B
Skinny, not like model. Yeah. Oh, she. And she was gorgeous.
- [25:24]
A
Yeah. I believe it.
- [25:25]
B
Like, gorgeous. Like natural beauty. And she was like. We were best friends when I was younger and then she made choices that I really didn't agree with. And I decided to be bitchy and judgmental and be mad at her for a little minute and then got some counseling and thank you. Thank the Lord we were able to reconcile. When I had my daughter Shayla, she came and spent. She was just going to spend a week with us and she stayed a month and we had the best time ever. And then she went home and was diagnosed with brain cancer.
- [26:05]
A
My goodness. So I'm so sorry. Is she still with us?
- [26:12]
B
No.
- [26:13]
A
Okay.
- [26:13]
B
Both my parents were 57 when they passed.
- [26:16]
A
Wow.
- [26:17]
B
Lost dad at 57 and lost mom two years later.
- [26:20]
A
Wow.
- [26:20]
B
At 57.
- [26:21]
A
I lost my parents two years within each other, too. That's crazy. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today.
- [26:41]
B
I'm told it's super easy to do.
- [26:42]
A
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- [26:58]
B
It should come with Verbocare and 24.7live support. If the hot tub's broken, that's a verbo care thing. If my teenager starts calling me Leslie,
- [27:05]
A
that's a family thing.
- [27:05]
B
Leslie. Verbo Care and 24.
- [27:07]
A
7 Life Support.
- [27:08]
B
If you know, you Verbo terms apply. See verbo.com trust for details.
- [27:12]
A
So growing up, we're going to pivot a little bit. So growing up, your parents were not Christian, but for some reason they named your brother?
- [27:18]
B
They named all of his Christian names?
- [27:20]
A
Yes.
- [27:21]
B
Oh, did the same Christians. They were just really funny.
- [27:24]
A
Did somebody have, like, Christian upbringings?
- [27:27]
B
Our last name, my maiden name is Luke.
- [27:30]
A
Huh?
- [27:31]
B
Luke. Right. So they had to name my brother Matthew Mark Luke.
- [27:36]
A
Yeah.
- [27:36]
B
Just because who else in the world can do that?
- [27:38]
A
Right?
- [27:39]
B
You know, and they thought it was so funny. So when I came along, they wanted to counteract the good with the bad. So they named they. They were. It was a toss up, they said, between Bathsheba or Delilah. So they went with Delilah.
- [27:55]
A
I loved.
- [27:55]
B
And at the time when I was a little girl, I hated it because nobody could pronounce it.
- [28:01]
A
And nobody was probably named Delilah.
- [28:03]
B
Nobody was named Delilah. The first time I heard my name besides myself was at a Goodwill on Dearborn in Seattle.
- [28:14]
A
She remembered the exact location.
- [28:16]
B
I remember the exact location. I was thrifting because I am addicted to thrifting. And somebody kept yelling, delilah, get over here. Delilah, get over it. And I'm like, who is yelling at me? I turn around, here's the cutest little girl with pigtails and caramel colored skin. She's so cute. And I'm like, she's Delilah said yes, and she better get over here. Okay. That's the first time I ever met another Delilah.
- [28:43]
A
Yeah.
- [28:43]
B
Now we have a whole household full of them.
- [28:46]
A
Yes.
- [28:47]
B
But I hated my name when I was young. And then when I got started in radio, I'm like, wow, this was pretty smart of them to name me this. It works.
- [28:58]
A
Well, it does.
- [28:59]
B
And when I go places, people are like, that's not your real name. I'm like, actually, it is the one my focus gave me at birth. So I love it now.
- [29:06]
A
I love that they named all of you guys biblical names. But they didn't walk in faith. Did they walk in faith towards the end of their life?
- [29:12]
B
They did. They both came to the Lord before they died. Praise God. My dad, amazing testimony. I don't know how much time we have.
- [29:20]
A
All the time.
- [29:21]
B
Okay. So my dad, I started even after he disowned me. I was trying to, you know, win my Way back into his heart. So I would send him cards, send him letters, and send him chocolate covered cherries because those were his favorite candies. So I sent him dozens of boxes of chocolate covered cherries over the years and cards and letters and I never of the first few I sent, he would send back an opened return to sender. He would just write return to sender in his perfect little printing because he had perfect little printing return to cinder. And after like four or five they stopped coming back.
- [30:00]
A
He was like, I want a cherry.
- [30:03]
B
Yeah, I still want the cherries. So when he passed, we found a box in his bedroom with every card, every letter I had ever sent them opened, tear stained, like obviously he was reading them and rereading them.
- [30:19]
A
Oh my goodness.
- [30:21]
B
All the pictures I sent him because I would send him pictures of my son and. But he called me about a month before he passed and he said, I'm thinking about rewriting my will. And I hear you like antiques. I have this antique pot bellied stove if you want it. Like, dad, I'm living in Philadelphia, you're in Oregon. Don't know how I would get a pot bellied stove across the US but thanks for thinking of me. And he says, well, how about an antique red light off the back of a train? He had one of those beautiful lights that were on the caboose of the train. I said, that sounds really cool and I love antique architecture, so yeah, maybe that. And I said, really? All I want is for you to give your heart to Jesus. That's all I want. That's all I want. We didn't get to have a relationship the past 10 years. I would really like to have a relationship with you in eternity. And he knew he was dying. We knew he was dying. I said, all I want is for you to give your heart to the Lord. That's it, Just give your heart to Jesus. And he said on the phone, who are you? Delilah. Jesus Christ. Renee. Luke. When did you become a preacher? And I said, I'm not a preacher. I'm just somebody who's saved by grace and I want to spend eternity with you. And he said, well, if this Jesus stuff is so important, why are you the only one preaching at me? And as soon as he said that, I went, I'm not preaching at you. And then I went, oh my God, he's read my letters. Because ever since I had given my heart to the Lord, I had written him about what my brother tried to share with me. Because my brother had shared the gospel with me, he became A Christian when he met his wife. And he had tried to lead me to the Lord. And it took his death for me to let Christ in. And so I had written my dad all these letters talking about the Lord, and he said, why are you the only one preaching at me? So, number one, that told me he had read my letters. And number two, it told me I needed to pray. So as soon as we hung up, I just said, lord, surround him. Surround him with people that will share your gospel. Surround him with people right now before he goes that will tell him the truth. The next day, his caretaker quit. And the woman who came to take her job through hospice was an ordained pastor. I didn't orchestrate it. God did.
- [33:07]
A
God don't play about you, baby.
- [33:09]
B
Yeah. And then the people that lived right across the street from us, that had been a part of our family for years, the Leech family. Their son had just graduated from seminary and come back home. Alden was 64 and 250. £50, £300, big boy. And he had just finished seminary school, moved back in with his dad, and he came and sat with him, and I didn't have a conversation with him. This was all God. He came and sat with my dad and started sharing what. What God had done for him. So the day my dad passed, it was in December. My sister called me, and my sister was daddy's girl. They had a bond like no other. He adored her. And they just had such a sweet, sweet relationship. And she called me, and she's crying and sobbing. And then my little brother gets on the phone, and he's like, hey, what's happening? I said, what's happening? Why are you. Why are you okay? He goes, well, what would make me okay? I said, I don't. Don't know. He said, well, what would make me be okay with the fact that our dad just died? I said, what are you saying? He said, dad was just baptized.
- [34:25]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [34:26]
B
I said, what? He said, yeah. He said, call a pastor. I'm ready to go home.
- [34:31]
A
Oh.
- [34:32]
B
And he accepted. The Lord, received communal, was baptized, and went home to be with God.
- [34:39]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [34:40]
B
I have never felt two such strong, overwhelming emotions simultaneously as I did in that. That moment. Realizing I would never get to make amends or make things okay with. Not that I needed to make amends. I'm not the one that separated or severed the relationship. But there would never be a bridge here, right? But we had a bridge across eternity. And I was laughing, I was crying. I was dancing. I was literally dancing in my House praising God, and then falling down on my face, thanking God and then weeping, and it was just. I was such a hot mess. But I know that when I get there, everything is going to be so amazing.
- [35:26]
A
Amen. That's beautiful. I love that. That is such a testimony circling back to you being a child. You talk about, like, what a tenacious child you were. And there's a story that actually kind of, like, pissed me off when I heard you tell it about a third grade teacher, because duct tape my mouth. What the hell is that? I want to duct tape her mouth. But she didn't just duct tape your mouth. Can we talk about this? Like, I guess you used to talk a lot in class, right? I did, too. I was always in trouble for talking in class.
- [36:00]
B
Yeah, yeah. When I read your book, I was like, oh, my God, if. If we had known each other in a different life. I'm telling you, hell on wheels. But, yeah. And the funny thing is, of all the children I've raised, almost all of them, only, like, two or three don't have the show off gene. I must talk. I must share.
- [36:25]
A
I must. I gotta get it out.
- [36:27]
B
I gotta get it out. And I couldn't. I. To this day, I still can't stop talking and.
- [36:33]
A
But I mean, look at where it got you. Yeah.
- [36:37]
B
Yeah. When I signed my first contract for syndication, I really wanted to. To go back to that school and say, how do you like me now?
- [36:45]
A
Man, I hope she stubbed her toe every day that she woke up. Because doing this to a child is insane. It's abuse.
- [36:51]
B
Well, now it's a. You know, now. But back in the day, you know, we used.
- [36:55]
A
Kid. No, I know. It was a totally different.
- [36:58]
B
Totally different world. But I wouldn't stop talking. And so she tried setting me in the front of the class. Well, duh.
- [37:05]
A
Turn around.
- [37:06]
B
Make me the star of the show. Seriously, I'll just use your desk as my stage because I need to entertain. And then they try moving me into the back of the classroom, thinking that, well, that'll punish me. Really? You put all the hoodlums in the back. All we're going to do is inspire together. And then they tried moving me out in the hall, but we had this really cute janitor and, you know, gotta talk. So she took a piece of duct tape and put it across my mouth. But duct tape will not stick to dust or to anything that's wet. So I'm like. And I pushed the duct tape off and managed to get a hole big enough so I could keep talking. And in her frustration, she slapped a piece here and then she went around my. My head.
- [38:02]
A
Oh, my gosh. How did your parents feel about that? Were they okay with it?
- [38:06]
B
Oh, I got beat when I got home because the rule was if you get in trouble at school, you get a spanking when you get home. Yeah.
- [38:13]
A
So you're getting your head duct taped and then you're getting in trouble at home.
- [38:17]
B
Butt whooping when I got home.
- [38:19]
A
Yeah, Just get it on both ends.
- [38:21]
B
It stuck to my hair. Wouldn't stick to my face because I was sticking my tongue out, but it stuck to my hair and my hair was much longer than it is now. And I ended up with a little bob.
- [38:35]
A
That is crazy to me.
- [38:37]
B
All the tape out of my hair.
- [38:39]
A
That is crazy to me that that woman got away with that. And definitely a different time because I
- [38:43]
B
would never fall out.
- [38:45]
A
Oh, my gosh. And did you learn a lesson?
- [38:48]
B
No.
- [38:49]
A
Exactly. Like it was all for nothing.
- [38:51]
B
All this. All I learned is I don't look good in short hair.
- [38:54]
A
It's like, yeah, no, that when I heard that story, I was just like, oh my go. I hope this teacher woke up every day and stubbed her toe like that. That is the type of woman that deserves to step on a child's toy every day. Every day.
- [39:09]
B
Yeah. A jack.
- [39:10]
A
Yes.
- [39:11]
B
Have jacks anymore. The little ball and jack.
- [39:15]
A
Yeah, whatever. A freaking Lego.
- [39:16]
B
I'm worse than Legos.
- [39:18]
A
Yeah, definitely.
- [39:19]
B
So.
- [39:20]
A
So talking about you in school, you started doing radio as you were in high school.
- [39:27]
B
Grade school.
- [39:28]
A
Grade school, junior high, high school. Can you take me on this? And then to also tell me about the teacher that you were starting to get in trouble and you know, she put in a good word for you because she wanted you to. To not go down a bad path.
- [39:43]
B
A bad path. I was born with a show off gene, only I was not born Bunny with any talent. Like, I can't dribble a ball. I can't sing a note. I can sing a note. I have a one note range, maybe two. Here I am in the city of music and I love music. Oh, my God, I love music. I feel music in my soul. I open my mouth and out comes not what I want. And so, you know, back in the day, back in the 70s and the 80s, we only had two or three sports at our school for girls. You could do swimming, you could do volleyball, you could do basketball. I was not really good at any of those three. Swimming I was really good at. But you had to get up at six in the morning and Be at the pool. And my folks are like, no way. Taking it to the pool at 6 in the morning. And so I. What. I had this. This need to show off, but no outlet for it. And I found out that our school had a grant that they only got the money from if they did certain things. So this really wealthy man that started the school left all these millions of dollars in stocks and bonds, and the school would get the money if they had an oratorical contest, a speech contest every year, and if they had awards for things outside of sports, so grades and readings. So we had a special reading program, and I went, speech contest. What does that involve? Because that sounds like I might like it. And it was five different categories, and you could enter one, two, three, or all five. I entered four of the five. And you stood up on stage and recited a poem or a speech or something, but you had to do it from memory. And the two men who were the judges, the year I was on stage, seventh grade, owned the local radio station. Jerome and Steve Carnegie, two brothers. And at the end of the contest, I had won first place in some of the categories, second in some. And they came up to my mother afterwards and they said, Mrs. Luke, your daughter really likes to talk. And my mom goes, oh, my God, I know we can't shut her up. They've tried everything. The story school even tried duct tape. Nothing works. And they said, no, no, no, no, this is a good thing. We own the local radio station. We can harness this and put it to good use. So myself, Starla Pointer, Tosh, couple other kids that were in the speech contest, they took to the radio station and they trained us. They showed us how to go on microphone, how to record commercials, how to record. And they let me record school news and school sports. And so we would write the script, and by we, the others would write the script, and then I would go on the air and read it. And they would record it on this big tac machine, this big reel to reel. And then they would play it at lunchtime every day for the parents to hear, so you could hear that Danny Jones, you know, scored the most football points or whatever. And I loved it like I was addicted from day one. They had an old teletype machine that sat in a closet and shook back and forth and typed the weather and sports and world news. And they let me bring home sheets of teletype. It was a ream of paper that was folded back and forth, and I taped it on my wall like it was a poster of Mark Spitz. Or Donny Osmond or Michael Jackson. I did have those two, but I would rather look at the teletype than Michael Jackson. And that tells you something.
- [43:43]
A
Yeah.
- [43:43]
B
So when I got into high school and I didn't know this story until a few years ago, one of the teachers saw me in the hall with a boy who was older and saw my behavior and went to the Carnegie brothers and said, didn't Delilah do that program with you guys? And they're like, yeah. She said, could you come up with a work study program for her? And they're like, why? And she said, she's going to get herself in a whole lot of trouble if she doesn't have something to focus on. That's how good God is. I didn't know this woman. She wasn't one of my regular teachers. She was a substitute, full time substitute. But she could discern from a distance by my body language what I was doing, what I was going to do, the path that I was on. I don't know if she knew anything about my parents or I don't know what she knew, but God quickened her heart to talk to the Knagis. They contacted my parents and said, could we set up a work study program for your daughter? They did. So I only had to go to school half a day, and then I got out of school and went to the radio station. And I knew if I screwed up, I would lose that opportunity. And I wanted to be on the air more than I wanted to breathe. I loved it. I loved going to the station. I loved ripping the wire. I loved reading news. I loved writing commercials. I loved it. It was home. It's it. It was my happy place.
- [45:23]
A
It was a creative outlet for you.
- [45:25]
B
Yeah.
- [45:25]
A
Yeah.
- [45:26]
B
And so they sent me to Portland to get my broadcast license. I flunked the first time I went, so I went back six months later and I passed. I was the youngest person to ever get my license in Oregon.
- [45:39]
A
What does getting a broadcast license entail?
- [45:41]
B
Well, now it's nothing.
- [45:42]
A
Back then.
- [45:43]
B
Back then you had to take a test and you had to know frequencies and transmitter heights and patterns of broadcasting and the difference between AM&FM and how to modulate and how to wow. Because we had these big glasses, tubes, and we had to turn the station on a half an hour before broadcast so the tubes would heat up.
- [46:05]
A
That's some lore right there.
- [46:07]
B
Yeah, it was for reals. And I got my license, so that meant I could be in the station alone. So then they let me start opening the station for broadcast. We Went on the air at 6am and we went off at sundown. So I would ride my little bike down to the radio station on Saturday and Sunday mornings, turn the filaments on, heat up the tubes, and go on the air at 6 with the weather report. Because we were a fishing community, so the fishermen needed to know if the bar conditions were safe, and did sports first thing in the morning. We did weather and sports. I had to learn to pronounce Martina Navratilova.
- [46:46]
A
Oh, man. So falling in love with radio and just having such a crazy worth work ethic at such a young age. You were working six days a week,
- [47:02]
B
seven days a week.
- [47:03]
A
Seven days a week.
- [47:04]
B
Saturdays and Sundays at 16.
- [47:06]
A
At 16. Like that is wild because you can't. You can't teach work ethic that's instilled in you. But you loved being on radio so much.
- [47:16]
B
I loved it then. And here's the crazy thing, Bunny. I love being on the air as much today as I did back then. Oh, it just brings you joy, I think. Love it. And the part that I loved about it wasn't even being on the air as much as it was being on the phones with my listeners that would call in. And we used to get a phone call every hour from the military because we had fishermen and they needed the bar report. And so the Coast Guard, the military station, the Coast Guard station would call every hour with an updated bar report, and I would put them on the air. Like, I didn't just take notes and then say it myself. I'm like, I'm putting you on the air. Because some of the guys were so funny and so engaging. And it became, you know, our little stick, I guess, back then. And I loved working the phone lines. We did a show called Sales and Trade where people would call in and say, yeah, I got an old 57 Chevy I want to sell 200 bucks. Anybody can haul it off my property. And so I turned that into a shtick, you know, like, it was fun. And to this day, I love working the phone lines.
- [48:32]
A
I think I love. We have a segment that we do on my podcast called Ask, Tell, Confess, and it's people. I've been doing it for years, and people write in for advice. And there's nothing more fun to me than hearing people's stories, laughing with them, crying with, crying with them, giving them advice. Like, there's just something about connecting with people like that that I completely understand why you do what you do. It's just the connection is so, so much more rewarding than Anything else?
- [49:03]
B
Amen. Yeah, amen.
- [49:05]
A
So you graduate high school and you went into college. Pre med.
- [49:11]
B
I did. I, I wanted to become a doctor. And radio was my, I was thinking, I will be in radio to finance what I eventually want to do. And then I kept flunking chemistry.
- [49:30]
A
I can't, dude, I can't do chemistry either. I can't do math, I can't do algebra. I can count money. That's about it.
- [49:36]
B
Hell to the no. I, I, I, I can't even count the money. But after I flunk chemistry the third time, they're like, you can't, this, this is not the right path you're on. And I had a conversation with one of my professors because I was also doing some minute, some media stuff on the side and one of my professors told me how much he had his doctorates and he told me how much money he was making at the college. And I'm like, wait a minute, I'm making more money than you being on the air at 20 years old than you're making with your doctorates. I never went back to school. That was it. That was the end of my college career.
- [50:20]
A
So you get a job in Eugene. Wait, no. You got fired from every station in Eugene?
- [50:26]
B
I did.
- [50:27]
A
What happened with that? Why were you getting consistently fired? What was, what was going on?
- [50:34]
B
Well, one of the times I got fired I actually deserved. But most of the time my big mouth got me in trouble. It's just funny you think there's sexism in the world today. You have no idea. Like back in the 70s and 80s, they didn't even call me a woman on the radio. I was the girl. Doesn't matter if you're 20 or 30 or 50, you're the girl at the radio station. And I, I can't keep my mouth shut and stuff. That's unfair, is unfair and it's wrong. And I, I, I have to pop
- [51:11]
A
off and like, you're very protective of yourself.
- [51:15]
B
Yeah. And it's just, I don't like injustice. I don't like when I'm treated unfairly. I don't like when I'm treated like crap and I'm not going to keep my mouth shut. And you know, they want you to shut up and play the music. And I'm like, I mean, I went to work for a station in Seattle that told me I couldn't go by Delilah on the air because it sounded like a made up name. So they wanted to change my name to Kelly Star.
- [51:44]
A
That sounds like a porn star name.
- [51:45]
B
Thank You. Thank you. Okay, so you want me to change my name to sound like a porn star? Said, have used the name that my parents gave me because it sounds like a made up name. I said, how about this? How about I go by D. Renee? Because, yeah, D is my initial and Renee is my last name. And they're like, okay, that'll work. So the first night on the air, I'm like, welcome to the Delilah Show. I forgot. I forgot we had agreed to that, but just there's so much crap. I mean, I worked at a station in Seattle, K A Y O Country KO and the news director had a crush on me, and I was not the least bit interested. And I just kept ignoring him and ignoring him. And I came in one day and there was a banner across my studio. So it was on the news side, but, you know, we had glass that faced. And it said, delilah, you're a fabulous fan. A banner, like from the. The ticker tape machine that they had used that paper and written in a black felt pen, delilah, you're a fabulous. What? Hanging up right before I go on the air. So I took it down, I put it in my locker, and then I came in a few days later and there was a cartoon out of a Playboy magazine taped onto the outside of my locker.
- [53:07]
A
Freaking sexual harassment at this point.
- [53:10]
B
And I was dating my first husband, who was the news director at another radio station and was black. And we showed up at a company event together and all hell broke loose. And I was told I could not bring him to any station functions because nobody who listens to country music wants to see a blonde woman with the N word. Wow. So I took all this evidence, I went into my boss's office, and I said, I'm going to hire a lawyer, and this is not okay. I am not coming to work and being treated like this. And I showed him all the evidence, and he's like, I am appalled. I am disgusted. Leave that with me and I'll deal with it. Mind you, I was 21, right? So I left it with him, walked out the door. A week later, I was fired.
- [54:05]
A
Wow.
- [54:07]
B
And he destroyed the evidence, destroyed the cartoon, destroyed the poster. Gone. Don't know what happened to it. And that's when I should have learned to never trust anybody. But of course, I made many, many more stupid mistakes like that in my radio career. Wow.
- [54:30]
A
But I can't believe that. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's not fair. And that's not okay. And it wasn't okay back then.
- [54:37]
B
No, but there's a lot of things that are not fair and not okay, and they still happen every day.
- [54:41]
A
Yeah, absolutely.
- [54:42]
B
It's not fair that my children will make 80 cents on my dollar. That's not fair. It's not fair that less than 5% of kids who are in foster care will ever be adopted. That's not fair.
- [54:54]
A
I know.
- [54:55]
B
It's not fair that 1% of them will ever get to graduate from college. Nothing is fair.
- [55:01]
A
No, it's not, but it's. You still didn't deserve for it to happen to you.
- [55:05]
B
No.
- [55:06]
A
As someone who is such a born rebel, this was a question I had, because I feel the same way. I don't like injustice. I'm just a born rebel. Working in radio, there's so many restrictions. How do you deal with that? Because you are such a. Just a big Persona, you know, it's hard.
- [55:28]
B
I. I am surrounded with people who love me fiercely and go to battle for me and kind of protect me.
- [55:36]
A
Yeah.
- [55:37]
B
But at least. What do you think, Aaron? Like, once every six months, at least I have to call my business partner. Flipping out. I'm just flipping out. And I'm like, can you effing believe they effing did this? He's like, okay, take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. I'll deal with it. I'll deal with it. And, you know, it's not fair. There's so many things that are not right and not fair.
- [56:06]
A
The restrictions that get put on you, though, like, I. I've. I wanted to be in radio for the longest. You wrote about that in my book, too. And then when I was presented with the opportunity to get into radio, I was just like, I don't know, because, you know, when my. My team came to me and they're like, we have this deal for you, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I. I can't have somebody controlling what I'm saying, you know? And I, like, with the podcast, I'm so free, I can do whatever I want because this is my brand. I. I own all of it. But working for a station, I. I won't say who it is, but working for and block that out, they would totally restrict what I would say. And I was just like, I don't know if I can do that, you know? So I was like, I have to ask Delilah how she gets around that, because, well.
- [56:50]
B
Well, I'll let you in on a
- [56:51]
A
little secret, and we can bleep it if we need to.
- [56:53]
B
Yeah. I am probably the only disc jockey Personality left in America that gets to choose my own music.
- [57:01]
A
Wow.
- [57:02]
B
And that's in my contract.
- [57:03]
A
Oh, I love that. So, yeah,
- [57:07]
B
half of the songs are pre programmed, pre formatted, and then the half that go with dedications, I get to choose. And I got it in my contract that they cannot control my content. What I say, I get to choose what advertisers I will represent if I don't believe in them, if they're not something that I'm comfortable with. They just came to me with a movie that, you know, looks like a great movie and they're like, you know, can we. Will you talk about this? And I said no, because I. I wouldn't let my kids watch that. And if I'm not going to let my kids watch it, I'm not gonna advertise it. But I have a business partner that because of his belief in me and love for me, I have a lot of freedom that nobody else has.
- [57:56]
A
That's amazing. And that's where I want to be. Yeah.
- [57:58]
B
Yeah.
- [57:59]
A
I'm going to take a page out of your book once I'll introduce you that status. Yeah, I would love that. So let's talk about these babies and let's talk about these marriages. At 24, you were all you were. I hear a giggle in the back. I've been married three times. I. I don't judge anybody who's been married. My husband was my third and I. Third time's a charm so far. So I love him to death and, you know, it is what it is. Sometimes it. We have to kiss different frogs to become princes, you know?
- [58:29]
B
Yeah, I kissed a lot of frogs, baby.
- [58:33]
A
So 24. You had your first son.
- [58:35]
B
My first bio child at 24.
- [58:37]
A
And you were married by that time to the man that you were talking about earlier.
- [58:43]
B
George.
- [58:44]
A
George. Okay. I didn't know if we were allowed to name him or whatever.
- [58:47]
B
Sexiest man I've ever met in my life.
- [58:49]
A
You always talk so good about him. Was he your first love?
- [58:53]
B
He was. He was my first true love. Loved him with every fiber of my being. And he was a funny, smart, beautiful human being. But he had addictions and his addictions cost him his life and costs him all of his marriages. I was number three. He went on to have two more after me. But he. He never was never able to face his demons. Never able to come to peace with what had happened to him as a child. Book a loved by guest property with VRBO and you get a top rated vacation rental that's loved for all the right Reasons. Ugh.
- [59:38]
A
I love my VRBO for the location.
- [59:40]
B
Good reason. Oh, and for the pool. Cause pools are cool.
- [59:43]
A
I feel the love.
- [59:44]
B
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- [59:58]
A
All you have to do is book
- [59:59]
B
early book with VRBO and. But he was. Oh, my God, he was so funny. Funny. He was. He was a comedian. He should have been a comedian. And his son, our son together, is the funniest, most gorgeous, most amazing human being you will ever meet. Oh, he got the best of his father in every way.
- [60:23]
A
I love that you light up whenever you talk about him. I've noticed any.
- [60:26]
B
He. He was amazing.
- [60:29]
A
I love that. But he was also the reason why your father disowned you.
- [60:33]
B
Yes.
- [60:34]
A
So we're circling back.
- [60:34]
B
Well, the reason. Racism was the reason.
- [60:37]
A
Correct.
- [60:38]
B
Yeah, correct. I see you trying to get the
- [60:41]
A
dog to stop over here. Just sawing logs. So having your father disown you and, you know, having your first baby, how are you feeling in this moment? Because you're at this point, your career is thriving. You are on the radio. You're doing your. Your Delilah show. I forget the name of it. Lights out.
- [61:02]
B
Lights out.
- [61:03]
A
You're doing lights out.
- [61:04]
B
Look at all the research you did.
- [61:05]
A
Oh, girl, I love you so. I was like, I got it as
- [61:08]
B
hard for you to do the research on me as it was for me to do the research on you.
- [61:12]
A
I don't know how. Well, let me know what you know about me. Well, we'll go. We'll do that on your podcast.
- [61:17]
B
Okay. I just know that I love you. And I love you. So wish that I had met you when you were seven.
- [61:22]
A
Well, we have the rest of our lives now, so we can do this.
- [61:26]
B
Amen.
- [61:27]
A
So you had gone from number six 16 to number one. Like, you were really thanks to a
- [61:31]
B
guy named Victor Stredeke. All of that is because one man believed in me and loved me and took me under his wing and taught me everything I never knew about radio. Like, when you're the talent part of radio, you don't know how the business part runs. And I don't know. I don't think that's a purposeful thing. It's just not something we learn. You just go in and there's commercials, you play, and then you leave. And so the People that sell the commercials, they really resent the talent because we take the money out the door and they feel like they bring it in the door, right? The talent feels like we're the hot stuff and we're the reason people are listening. And these commercials are just annoyances that are in our way. So there's always been this kind of division, right? And Victor took me under his wing and said, you need the salespeople on your team on your side, and you need to be on theirs, because if you understand what they're doing, they can better sell you and you will profit from it. And I'm like, how? And he says, well, I'm going to help you in your next contract, and you're going to have it tied to finances instead of just tied to ratings. And so he was such a godsend. And he really helped me understand how radio works and how I could actually make money, because I didn't used to make anything. And so he helped me to market myself. I didn't have a marketing department. The radio station sure as hell wasn't going to spend a dime promoting me because they considered nighttime radio throwaway like it had no value. The commercials they didn't even charge for. They were bonused if you bought commercials and drive time. Victor said, we're going to change that. And so he taught me how to market myself. He said, all these people calling you, get their phone numbers, call them back, form relationships with them. If they have a great story to tell, spread it out over five days so that people will come back again and again and again. I'm like, wow, this is genius. He says, TV has been doing it for years.
- [63:41]
A
It's.
- [63:41]
B
It's series, you know, like, I never thought of that. And so he taught me so much that changed my life. I went from just being a voice on the radio at night to being Delilah.
- [63:54]
A
Shout out to Victor.
- [63:55]
B
Yeah, he was amazing. He is an amazing human being. He didn't charge me anything for it. He put no expectations on me. There was no, you know, crap that I went through with program directors that, you know, had a casting couch. None of that. He was just a genuine human being who genuinely loved me.
- [64:13]
A
I love people like that that just don't want anything from you and that is just genuinely want you to succeed.
- [64:20]
B
And I don't know why. Everybody is not like that. I know if people could understand it's not a pie that there's only a little piece of the God has abundance to give and to share and there's no shortage. You can Bless somebody. And it doesn't take away from you. It just. Just keeps growing.
- [64:39]
A
Amen. I always say all boats float. Like, you need everybody around you's boat to float. And it's just. You guys have one huge, massive. Just sail together, you know? Okay, so Victor's teaching you this. You're hot on fire on your radio show. You have your first baby. You're going through the stuff with your dad. You bought your first house at 21.
- [65:03]
B
21.
- [65:03]
A
Which is freaking amazing. Like, I mean, nobody, I. I reading your book.
- [65:07]
B
If I had your money bunny, back then, I would have made you a billionaire. I would have taught you how to invest in real estate.
- [65:13]
A
Telling you, I wish I would have been smart with my money. I'm smart with it now. Thank you, Jesus, for giving me plenty of opportunities. But I. If I had done this when I was younger, too. I mean, just when I read that you had bought your first house at 21, I was like, this woman's phenomenal. Like, nobody at 21 is thinking about saving money like that and buying their first house. At least not in.
- [65:34]
B
My dad had a lot of issues, but he had a lot of wisdom. And he used to say all the time, sis, if you ever get any money, buy land. God isn't making any more of it.
- [65:46]
A
Wow.
- [65:46]
B
All we got is what we got.
- [65:48]
A
Yeah.
- [65:49]
B
So buy land. And I took him at his word. And I bought my first house at 21, my second one at 28, my third one at 30, my fourth one at 32. So at 32, I was a little real estate baroness.
- [66:03]
A
I love that. That is so awesome. So during this time, you're struggling with your Christianity and you were also doing modeling during this time and developed an eating disorder.
- [66:15]
B
Yeah. You can't really be a good model unless you have an eating disorder.
- [66:20]
A
Swallowing cotton balls.
- [66:21]
B
Yeah. Yes.
- [66:22]
A
Yeah.
- [66:24]
B
I was 510 and 145 pounds.
- [66:28]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [66:28]
B
And my agent said, you need to drop another 20 pounds. I'm like, I'm a size six. She said, if you want a model for me, you got to drop another 20 pounds.
- [66:36]
A
And they were a little crazy back then because, I mean, women. That's why everybody, like the Kate Mosses and all that, like, everybody was so sickly thin back then. It was unrealistic.
- [66:49]
B
It was very unrealistic.
- [66:50]
A
Nobody positivity.
- [66:51]
B
I gave up my eating disorder, and at the time, Dexatrim were sold over the counter, you know, so we had those for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I quit all of that the day I found out. I Was pregnant with my son. I'm like, never, never doing this again. I gave up Diet Coke when I was pregnant with my son. I was like, nope, not gonna, not gonna hurt my baby.
- [67:15]
A
So I love that motherhood softened your heart that way. So in the end, your husband ends up leaving, cheating and leaving. Can we dive into that a little bit? You're at the height of your career and this happens.
- [67:30]
B
It was just a crap year. My brother disappeared first, my husband lost his sister right after our baby was born and to suicide. And then a few months later, my brother, on Memorial Day weekend, he and his wife, disappointed, disappeared in a plane accident. And like I said, we didn't find their wreckage for a couple of years. And then in October, he moved out of my house and moved in with his girlfriend like six blocks away. And I have our baby, who's not even a year old. Well, Sonny turned a year in September. He moved out in October. And then I lost my job. I got fired from the radio station. So that was a really bad, bad, bad time in my life.
- [68:27]
A
Really bad.
- [68:28]
B
And show was number one, kicking ass, highest ratings in the city. And they hired a consultant. This is how evil radio can be. They hired a consultant, paid him $10,000 to do a consulting project. And the title of it was she is the tail wagging the dog. And he came in with all this research showing how my I had better listeners, better ratings, better cum. TSL is time spent listening. My listeners stayed for three of my five hours. Cum is cumulative number of people tuning in. I had more people tuning in at 10 o' clock at night than they had in the 7 o' clock drive time hour. In the morning. He walks in with all this data and instead of saying, give this woman money, pay her, make her program director, make her music director. Have the other DJs learn from her. They said she's the tail wagging the dog. If she doesn't go, the rest of the station will never succeed.
- [69:29]
A
Wow.
- [69:29]
B
She is the reason that the rest of the station is lagging because she's taking the limelight.
- [69:35]
A
Wow. Wow.
- [69:41]
B
And I said to the person firing me, did it ever cross your mind that maybe you should ask me to teach them how to get listeners instead of firing me for. Wait a second. Aren't we in the business of trying to generate listeners? Aren't we rated based on how many people listen? And you're telling me I have to go because too many people listen? That's like hiring a basketball player and saying you're fired because you scored the Most points in the game.
- [70:08]
A
But it probably was because you were a woman. Do you think?
- [70:12]
B
Well, because I'm a woman and because I'm a show off. And because when I would show up for an appearance, there would be, you know, a thousand people waiting to meet me and 20 people waiting to meet the others. And instead of going, oh, my gosh, you're doing something right. They're like, oh, you show off.
- [70:28]
A
You're a. Yeah, it was jealousy.
- [70:30]
B
I'm like, how? Why am I a bad person? For doing what you're not even paying me to do?
- [70:37]
A
Right. For bringing ratings in for your radio station.
- [70:40]
B
Yeah.
- [70:40]
A
And listeners. That's just insane. You're in. You know, your husband leaves, but he also leaves you with his two children.
- [70:48]
B
With his two kids that blew my mind. Who are now in their 50s. Like, what an amazing human beings.
- [70:55]
A
What a way to twist the knife, though.
- [70:57]
B
Like, you know, in your book, when you talk about your daughter, you mentioned during a tough period in your life, what hurt you was that not just that your husband had betrayed you, but that another woman had stepped in and tried to take your role in your daughter's life. That's how I felt for these kids. It's like, you can go do whatever you're gonna do with her. You are not taking these, gonna drag these kids through it.
- [71:25]
A
Wow, I love that.
- [71:27]
B
And our son, our stepson went back to his mom's. After a while, she remarried and was stable. And Camille stayed with me until she was like, 16 or 17, and then she moved to California with her dad and has done very, very, very well, both of them, in their life. Very wonderful human beings.
- [71:49]
A
I love that. And you still have a relationship with them? I do.
- [71:52]
B
And they're both really good people.
- [71:56]
A
I love that. That is, that's again, a testament of you. So you're in the darkest time of your life. You don't have any faith. You're not in Christ, you're not a Christian at this time. And this story that you told really touched me that you were in pain one night and that you were contemplating suicide. And can you take me on that journey and our listeners on that journey of, of discovering Jesus?
- [72:22]
B
I, I, I say I never wanted to die. I just didn't want to face another day of pain. I didn't know how to keep going forward when every fiber of my being hurt. Like, my brother was my best friend. We were a year apart, and we were raised like twins. And he was flying from California to Seattle to see me and to sign papers, to become My baby's godfather when he disappeared. And when he disappeared, I went home to try to help in the search. And I wasn't allowed to help in the search. And somebody in my family said, it should have been you. And I believed that because my brother was always the good one and I was always the rebel. You know, he was such a smart kid. He was an engineer. He was an officer in the Air Force. He did everything right. He married his first girlfriend. They became Christians. They had a music ministry. He was the good one. He lived up to his name. Matthew, Mark, Luke. And. So I was at this point in my life, Bunny, where I did not know how to face another day of pain because everything hurt. Breathing hurt. The songs I had to play on the radio hurt. Losing my job hurt. I had a baby I had to support. I had a house payment I had to make. I had a car payment I had to make. And I just. I laid down in bed and I said, God, if you exist, knock on the wall or something. I need to know. I need to know that there's something that's going to get me through this. And I had tried New Age stuff. Ramtha was huge in Seattle at the time, and Chandlers and all this. And I had read about Buddhism and Judaism and studied all these things and read all these things. But what my brother had shared with me was that Jesus was real and that he really was the promised Messiah. And that if you would put your faith in him, you would have a relationship with the Almighty. That's what my brother had said. And I'm like, I don't need you. I don't need your religion. You know, I'm. I'm hot stuff. So I was laying there holding my baby and I said, God, I said it out loud. If you exist, I need to know. Because if you don't, I cannot go on. And I had a plan. I had a garage. I had a car. I had a plan. And I know it sounds crazy. I wasn't. I've never been high in my life. I've never, never, you know, went that path. But I felt a euphoria come over me. And my room filled with a cloud is the best way to describe it. It was sparkly and it was like a translucent cloud. And I went to sleep. And it's the first time I had slept since my husband left. It's the first time I had slept in, you know, a long time. And I woke up the next day and I felt different. I felt light hearted. There was no knocking at the wall. I wanted him to, like, pound on the door or something.
- [76:12]
A
Isn't it crazy how we ask God to do things? Yeah, if you're real.
- [76:15]
B
If you're real. Yeah. Let this coin move.
- [76:20]
A
Yeah.
- [76:21]
B
So I went to Pike Place Market in Seattle the next day to get these things my son and I loved called Humbows. And, okay, I love them. I gave him little bites of mine. But I went to get a Humbow, and I parked my car and I walked down the road, and I came back and I saw something on my windshield, and I thought, damn, I got a ticket. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I can't afford a ticket. And I walk up to my car, and it's a little red booklet, and I take it out, and it's a New Testament, a little red New Testament. And I'm like, okay, the Jehovah Witnesses are here. And I'm looking up and down, and no other car has one on it. And I opened it up, and somebody had handwritten in pen, jesus loves you.
- [77:10]
A
That was your brother.
- [77:11]
B
And I'm like, okay. That was a pretty cool thing, God. Like, you are for real. Like, you are for real. Like. And I'm doing the Snoopy dance in the street going, he answered me. He answered me. Like, he answered. He. He answered me. I put Sonny in his car seat, and I go back home, and my phone rings, and it's a listener who happened to live in the neighborhood that I had become friends with. And she said, hey, how would you like to go to church with me this weekend? I said, what? Like, are you bugging my phone?
- [77:47]
A
She goes, there's a little church I
- [77:49]
B
found at the end of the block. It's at the end of your block. Would you like to go with me? And I'm like, okay. Her name was Cheryl. She passed away a couple years ago. But I. Cheryl and Mike, I had actually read letters from her boyfriend to her on the air before they met. And they met and got married. So I go to church with Cheryl and Mike, and the pastor says at the end of it, if anybody here really wants a relationship with Jesus, just raise your hand. And I went just like that, that quick. Everything changed. Everything changed. And that doesn't mean my life got better because there was a lot more crap that happened, but that was the beginning of my relationship with God.
- [78:36]
A
I love that testimony.
- [78:37]
B
Everything my brother told me turned out to be true. Dang, you were right along, bro.
- [78:42]
A
I know. And he's still speaking to you through God.
- [78:45]
B
So I think all the time. All the time. And he's got my boys with him, and there's, you know, a whole family reunion waiting to happen.
- [78:53]
A
Yes, we'll talk about that too soon. So after you meet you, you give your life to God, and, you know, you're going through the changes of. Of faith. There was something that you had said that spoke to me. You were offered a job, and at this point you were like, yeah. You were like, I can't take it because that. My heart's just not in it anymore. Like, my. That's. It doesn't represent what I am about right now. And that really spoke to me because I'm kind of at a crossroad now with the pot. But the podcast and the things that I represent as my walk and my faith is there's. I've been telling them for a long time, like, I'm ready to. To go a different route. I just don't know how. And when you had said something about this on, I think it was a podcast I was watching, I was just like, man, this is. This is like speaking to me because that's where I am. So when you were offered another job and you had turned it down, do you know what I'm talking about?
- [79:50]
B
Are you talking about the one in la?
- [79:51]
A
Maybe. I'm not exactly positive. I've watched so much stuff on you last night, but I remember jotting down this as a note, and you had. They had came to you and wanted you to do a certain show, and you were like, my heart's not. That's. That doesn't represent who I am anymore. And that just spoke to me because I was like that. There's so much that doesn't represent who I am anymore. But because I've built my brand a certain way, it's so hard for me to know what direction to go. And I was just wondering how you did that.
- [80:19]
B
Well, as you walk with God, there will come times in your life that did in mine where he said, that's not who you are anymore. It's like a butterfly. You're not the cocoon anymore. You're not the little worm anymore. You're not in the cocoon anymore. I've given you wings, now fly. You don't have to crawl up the limb. You can spread your wings and fly. And I told you my dad was very wise. He used to say to me all the time, sis, don't ever go in debt. The minute you go in debt, you have to keep your job because you got to pay the man. If you're not in debt, you're free to say kiss my and move on. And I don't know if he knew when he was telling me that how rebellious I would be. But I never forgot that. And I have never. I mean, I'm everything I'm wearing except for the things from the salty heifer
- [81:18]
A
with the salty shout out to the
- [81:20]
B
salty shout out to the salty heifer for my vest and my earrings. Everything else is thrifted because I don't waste money. I don't believe in wasting money. I don't ever want to go in debt. I don't ever want to have to keep a job.
- [81:33]
A
Right.
- [81:33]
B
I want to be in a position where I can say, no, no, I'm not going to do that. You can't make me. You're not the boss of me.
- [81:44]
A
Right.
- [81:44]
B
You can't make me. And because I work for I Heart Media, but I'm contracted through them and in my contract, they're not the boss of me. We're partners. They would never try to make me do something I'm uncomfortable with. But before I signed with iHeart, I was offered a very lucrative position in television.
- [82:08]
A
I think this is what it was.
- [82:09]
B
Yes, I went to la. I was wined and dined and they rolled out the red carpet. And I had read a book before all this called the Great Seduction. And it was about how the entertainment industry, or whatever industry will lure you in through blessing you and giving you all these privileges and all these comforts and all these material things, but then they own you and get to dictate what you do. And I had read that book, one that Victor had suggested years before, finally. And that's kind of what was happening. I was being offered really wonderful, lucrative things, more money than I could ever dream or imagine. The company that I worked for before Premier, I was making 7% of everything they brought in because of me. And that wasn't much.
- [83:12]
A
Right.
- [83:12]
B
You know, and these people were offering me millions of dollars.
- [83:16]
A
Yeah.
- [83:18]
B
But I'm. I'm more than comfortable on thrifted sheets from Goodwill. I don't care.
- [83:25]
A
Right.
- [83:25]
B
If. So long as I have a down pillow, I don't give a damn.
- [83:28]
A
Yeah.
- [83:29]
B
I really don't.
- [83:30]
A
She's like, I need that down, baby.
- [83:31]
B
I do need a down pillow. I do need a down pillow. And now when I camp, I would really prefer to be on a bed instead of the ground glamping. I like glamping.
- [83:41]
A
Yes.
- [83:43]
B
But I was in the limo coming back and the lawyers are on the phone and they're like, you can ask for this and you can ask for that and blah, blah, blah. And I said, yeah, but I just adopted another baby. And I'm like, I don't really see myself raising kids in la. Well, you can get a house out here and out here and there's horses and blah, blah, blah. And we can do this and that, or you can keep your house in Seattle and work in LA Monday through Thursday and then fly home on weekends and have a nanny with the kids. And I'm like, okay. And I got home, I went to bed in the middle of the night. The Lord woke me up and he literally spoke to my heart Bunny. And he said, I did not give you these children for someone else to raise. At that point, I had three bio and four adopted. And I went, okay. And he just said, again, I did not bless you with these children that you prayed for for someone else to raise them. I got up the next morning, I called my lawyers, I said, I'm not taking it. And they're like, you can't say no. We've already said yes on your behalf. I said, no, I haven't signed anything. I never said yes.
- [84:52]
A
Yeah.
- [84:53]
B
And as God would have it, Craig and and Premier Radio Networks called me shortly thereafter and offered me a very beautiful, lucrative situation where I got to stay in radio, got to stay in my house, got to stay with my kids, got to keep my current schedule. And all these people were like, what are you doing? What are you doing? You'll have such a better platform. You'll be on tv, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't want somebody else doing my hair and makeup. I mean, the girl who did it today, I love, but I don't want to have to look good every day.
- [85:25]
A
Right.
- [85:26]
B
I don't. I want to go out and ride my horse.
- [85:29]
A
Yeah.
- [85:29]
B
I don't want to have to schedule my life around the demands that that would place on me. Because I know myself. I know I'm passionately competitive.
- [85:40]
A
Yeah.
- [85:41]
B
And if I had taken that, I would not have been satisfied unless I was number one. I wouldn't have settled for being number two or three or four and daytime tv. And to be number one, you know this. You gotta get like you have to your podcast. You gotta give it your blood, sweat and tears.
- [85:56]
A
Yes.
- [85:57]
B
I couldn't. I wasn't willing to invest that much energy in a career when I had children that needed that energy.
- [86:06]
A
Yeah.
- [86:06]
B
And this career allows me to be a full time mama, full time advocate for my kids. And. And I get to ride my horse.
- [86:17]
A
That's amazing. Let's talk about these kids. Okay. You. You have 15, but I heard you adopted three more.
- [86:23]
B
I got custody of three more.
- [86:25]
A
Okay.
- [86:26]
B
They are not legally free to adopt, but okay.
- [86:28]
A
How did this all start? Like, so you had your last biological child at 40. Had you already adopted before then? And how many had you adopted? And then. Take me on this journey. Take me on this journey because it's a little confusing.
- [86:44]
B
Well, I always wanted a big family. Yeah, I wanted at least four, maybe six. There were four in my family. And then found out there were two more. I wanted to have. I wanted my kids to have the kind of relationships that I have with my siblings. My sister is amazing. She is far smarter than I am and much more grounded than I am. She came to her wisdom a lot younger than I did, and she's very settled in her spirit, and I love her with every fiber of my being. And my little brother is just a hot ticket. He's a wild man. You might have known him in your younger years. He was a wild man. But he is his phenomenal, phenomenal father, phenomenal grandfather, phenomenal friend. His friends love him to death. I wanted my kids to have those kind of memories, but I only had one biological child for 10 years. And then I remarried. I was blessed with Shayla, my daughter. And I was told before I had her, I might not be able to have her because I had polycystic ovaries, and they wanted me to do surgery and all this stuff. I was very fortunate that I was blessed to have Shayla. But they told me afterwards, you're probably not going to have any more. You can do in vitro. You can do this or that. And so I said, you know what? I've been blessed with two bio babies and my two step kids. I want to adopt. I want to adopt a little boy close in age to my son. So that's what I set out to do. Found Manny through the foster care system. He was placed with us. Sonny was 12. Manny was 11. And I thought, perfect, I've got my daughter. My two boys will grow up together. And then found out he had siblings in foster care. So I arranged a camping trip prep thinking we'd just go camping. The kids would get to spend time together. And during the camping trip, a little boy who's nine, reached over and said in the middle of the night, can I call you mom? Since I don't have a mom. So three months later, I got custody of those two. So I went from two bio children to five children in about a Year's time. And when I got custody of those two, I sent the four older ones off to a Christian camp for a week. And while they were gone, off to Christian camp for a week. At 39 years old, I ended up pregnant with an IUD.
- [89:27]
A
Wow.
- [89:28]
B
So God really wanted that soul to come to earth. And I had Zach. And I thought, okay, this is more than enough. Six kids. I'm tapped out. Four boys, two girls. I'm done. And then my husband and I divorced, and I was a single mom and a woman named Sarah Dorman, who was friends with Billy Graham's youngest daughter. Friend of mine called me out of the blue and said, do you know anybody that wants a little baby? I said, no. No, I don't. I've got a little baby. Remember? I got a. A baby. I got a baby. I don't know anybody who wants a baby. Don't need no baby. She said, oh, there's this baby that's mom is abusive, and he's in the system, and we're trying to find a home for him. And if you know anybody that, you know, does want a baby, let me know. And I said, send me his information. Send me, you know, the contact information. I'll go to church and see if anybody wants to adopt a baby. So she sent me the picture, and a month later, I got custody of number seven, lucky number seven. And he just turned 26 yesterday. Oh. And then I'm like, okay, I'm really. I'm done. So done. Done, done.
- [90:48]
A
God's like, no, you're not.
- [90:50]
B
That's what God said. God said, really? I don't think so. Because I remember when you were younger, you prayed for a big family.
- [90:56]
A
When we make plans, God laughs.
- [90:58]
B
Yeah, he does. And I started working in Africa in 2004. And my intention when I started there was, I am not going to get emotionally invested in one person. I'm going to get emotionally invested in the community and lift up the community and work in the context of the community. Right, the community. And I stuck to it for two years. And then I went. One day, one trip. The first time we drive into the camp, my eyes lock eyes with this little girl. And I knew the minute our eyes locked, I knew she was my daughter. And I'm like, no, God, no, no. And God said, yes, yes. And I'm like, okay, are you sure? I had not. I didn't even meet her, didn't know her name, never talked to her. But I knew it the minute our eyes met. God said, meet your daughter. And later that trip, I met my second daughter, and it took me about a year and a half, two years to adopt them and bring them here. And since then, I. I have adopted six out of the refugee camp.
- [92:17]
A
Wow.
- [92:18]
B
And now I'm really done.
- [92:21]
A
Don't. How about stop saying that? Yeah, just don't say that anymore.
- [92:26]
B
How about I just say whatever you want?
- [92:28]
A
There you go. You're an amazing woman. That is just so I just. The heart that you have to house this many children and to just save this many children and give them opportunities that they would never have probably gotten is just so beautiful and like, thank you for all you do. The statistics that you were talking about, I watched you on a talk show. I think it was from a couple years ago. You had given some statistics about foster children, and it blew my mind.
- [92:57]
B
If you go into any prison and you interview a hundred men who are in prison for felony crimes, 80% of them will have spent at least 18 months in foster care. With VRBoCare, help is always ready before, during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists, so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. This is a paid message from GoFundMe. Meet Juan Naula. When his son was hospitalized for a viral infection, Juan started a GoFundMe to pay for medical expenses.
- [93:36]
A
It was 5k to pay the bill for my son, and I need only 22 hours.
- [93:41]
B
It was amazing.
- [93:43]
A
People really trust on GoFundMe.
- [93:45]
B
How did Juan raise $5,000 in less than a day? He posted a short video on GoFundMe telling his story in 30 seconds.
- [93:52]
A
30 seconds. Be specific, be quick and tell. What are you gonna be using the funds for?
- [93:59]
B
I was nervous to do it because
- [94:01]
A
it doesn't feel okay to ask money.
- [94:03]
B
But you shouldn't be nervous.
- [94:05]
A
Sometimes you just have to do it
- [94:07]
B
and see the results. We were able to save my son's
- [94:11]
A
life thanks to gofundme that we still have my son with us.
- [94:16]
B
Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com gofundme.com this message reflects one person person's experience. If you go into any women's prison, the statistic is even higher. Our current foster care system does not create fully functioning adults. It creates people who end up in the system for life. It does not create lasting, loving bonds. It breaks lasting, loving bonds over and over. They know. Scientists proved this. Doctors proved this years ago, 50 years ago, that if you. If a child's primary Bond is broken after three times severed. Their primary bond with a mother or a father or a caretaker is severed three times. They cannot form healthy attachments. They cannot. The glue is destroyed. You have destroyed their ability to attach in a healthy way. Can they learn? Of course they can. God can help you do anything, but it will not come naturally to them. For you and I, having bonds broken in our life, the damage that it did, and the way that having strange relationships changed our brain so that our brain is triggered to be attracted to that which will destroy us. We're not. We're not helping kids in foster care.
- [95:55]
A
No.
- [95:56]
B
It's not helping them to have these bonds broken over and over and over again.
- [96:03]
A
When you said those statistics and some of the things that you've said, I just, like, it really tugged on my heart because my husband and I have been trying to have a baby through ivf, and I was just like, maybe God's trying to push us to adoption. You never know. And just hearing you speak.
- [96:16]
B
Or both.
- [96:17]
A
Or both. Yeah, exactly.
- [96:18]
B
Or both.
- [96:19]
A
Yeah, exactly. And, I mean, my heart's open to. To it all, and so is my husband. He. He's. My husband just wants all the babies, so we might end up with 15 also. Delilah, if you can do it, I think you make us feel like we can do it.
- [96:33]
B
I can help you. Here's the thing. When you adopt a child out of foster care, you're not just building a family, you're saving a life.
- [96:43]
A
Absolutely.
- [96:43]
B
The trajectory that a kid in foster care is on, like I said earlier, less than 5% will get to graduate. Highs will. Will be adopted. The number of. Of high school graduations is about the same, and college graduates is. Less than 1% of the kids who go through foster care get to graduate from college. It's not okay. They're throwaway children.
- [97:11]
A
What is the adjustment in your home when you bring home a child, when you have a newly adopted child? Like, how. How do you overcome some of the, you know, challenges, trauma that they've been through? Like, how do you navigate that?
- [97:28]
B
Well, I did not navigate it. It well. When I was younger, I did not have the education, the information that I have now. But the information wasn't out there.
- [97:36]
A
Right.
- [97:36]
B
Like it is now. We didn't know that. Trauma changes your brain. Trauma rewires your brain. Nobody just said that to me. Nobody said, you know, they're like, yeah, this. They didn't. First off, when I adopted the first three, they didn't even give me access to their files. Wow. So I didn't Even know the trauma they had been exposed to until one of my kids got in trouble. And when they got in trouble, I went to the courts and I forced them to let me see their files. They didn't let me copy their files or take their files.
- [98:10]
A
That's crazy.
- [98:10]
B
The state did not let me have that. But because I have a photographic memory, I memorized stuff that happened and times in their life had happened. Took me three days. I read through all three of their files. A couple of years ago, they took the state to court and the court produced the files with pages missing, entire pages gone. And they said, oh, it happened in a fire. Well, how can page seven be gone but page eight be there? That doesn't make any sense. You are lying. They took pages out that proved that they were accountable and knew that my kids were being horrifically abused in foster care.
- [98:49]
A
Oh, my God.
- [98:49]
B
And they kept putting them back into horrible placements. Parents. Even after my kids came forward and said, we're being raped, we're being abused, My goodness, we're being horrifically abused. What did they do? They told the foster parents, don't let your son within 50ft of them.
- [99:04]
A
Wow.
- [99:05]
B
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
- [99:06]
A
Oh, my gosh. That breaks my heart.
- [99:08]
B
It's horrible.
- [99:09]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [99:10]
B
And this isn't, like, uncommon. This is the norm, right? This is the norm.
- [99:17]
A
I understand why you're wanting to save all the babies.
- [99:20]
B
My son is a sergeant in the police department. And in the town where he's a police officer, there's a hotel that is no longer a hotel for people to go and stay at because they have a contract with the state to put foster kids in there at night because there's no foster homes. So they put them in a hotel at night in the same parking lot as a porn shop.
- [99:46]
A
Wow.
- [99:48]
B
Coincidence.
- [99:51]
A
They just don't give these kids a fighting chance at all.
- [99:54]
B
The kids don't stand a chance, Bunny. They don't stand a chance.
- [99:57]
A
Wow.
- [99:58]
B
I praise God for the Kanegis and for my mom, who fiercely loved me. But God placed those people in my life to keep me from going down a path that would have destroyed me.
- [100:12]
A
Right.
- [100:13]
B
You know, I joke about the fact that I have no singing talent. If I could sing, I would have destroyed my life because I'm such a show off. I would have, you know, gone that trajectory. And how many of my friends did and ended up, you know, cocaine was the queen or king, whatever, back in the 80s? These kids in foster care, they don't stand a chance. They've been Abused. They've witnessed abuse in their maternal or paternal home. They've been taken by the state. They are put in foster home after foster home after foster home. My kids were in seven, eight, and nine placements.
- [100:48]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [100:50]
B
Seven, eight, and nine placements. During the course of their stay in foster care. How can you form healthy bonds? How can you ever know how to love? How can you ever know how to be committed to anybody? When you experience that, how do you
- [101:05]
A
break through to them? Is it just being a consistent figure of love for them in the household? Like, how do you bond with them after they've been through?
- [101:13]
B
It's hard, and sometimes you don't.
- [101:15]
A
Yeah.
- [101:16]
B
But you just do your best and you show up, and I'm consistent. And, you know, the. My youngest child today has so many issues because he was exposed to drugs and alcohol in utero and so much abuse and has such a hard time that I. He travels with me because if I am out of his sight, he loses it. Like, I am his primary bond.
- [101:44]
A
You're his safe space.
- [101:45]
B
I'm his safe space. But you just love. You love. And you take them to counseling and you take them to. And I. I don't let my kids have access to the Internet.
- [101:56]
A
Good for you.
- [101:57]
B
I don't let my kids have access to devices except for what they need for school. And I don't even like doing that. There's so much garbage on the Internet. Oh, kids are the stuff you were exposed to that I read in my book. I. That was the first time I got sick. I got sick of my stomach. Reading what you were exposed to as a child. I'm like, how do you ever form a normal understanding of love when you're exposed to porn at 7, 8, 9 years old? You don't.
- [102:26]
A
It took being with my husband to establish that sex isn't everything that's in a relationship and that you actually fall in love with somebody's soul.
- [102:36]
B
Soul in their mind and their personality.
- [102:38]
A
Yeah. Because, you know, as we get older, sex fades anyways. So it's like, you know, it's like everything falls. Everything. Yeah.
- [102:46]
B
It's letting you know you got another 20 years. But gravity is not our friend.
- [102:51]
A
Oh, no. I know. I'm 46, and I'm about to get on HRT. I was having the phone calls before you walked in to. Not to keep the sadness going, but you did lose two of your children. And can we just touch on that briefly? Because I just want to paint a picture for people at home who don't know you or know your story, like, it's not always been wins for you. And like, yes, you've adopted these children, but you've also had hardships with not only a biological child, but. But an adoptive child.
- [103:19]
B
Yeah. When I adopted Sammy, I did not know how sick he was until the day that I adopted him. I was in the judge's chambers in Ghana, and he said, are you prepared to care for a boy who is this sick? And I hadn't seen any of his health records or anything, but the judge had some of them. And I said, well, I'm sure I can get better health care in America than here. And he said, of course, but I'm asking you personally, are you prepared to care for a boy who is this sick? And my son wasn't in the room. And I said, what do you. I don't understand. He said, his life expectancy is going to be much shorter than the average person. So I. I left his chambers. I went and googled sickle cell anemia. I read about it. I, you know, came back the next day and said, yes, you know, I'm ready to do this. I took him home a week later. And his sickle cell had caused so much damage to his body while he was growing and not getting any medical
- [104:25]
A
care in the foster. In the foster system.
- [104:28]
B
No, he's from Ghana. He was in an orphanage.
- [104:30]
A
Okay.
- [104:31]
B
From the time he was a baby, he was raised in an orphanage.
- [104:34]
A
Oh, my goodness. And
- [104:38]
B
his heart was twice the size of a normal heart because it had had to pump so hard to pump the sickled cells through. And I thought, you know, we'll get him to America. We'll get him the best health care. We took him to children's. He had the best doctors. He had the best health care. But he got an infection that went septic. And they tried everything. They tried everything. Blood transfusions, everything. And his heart stopped. And I thought I was going to die. I did not know I could hurt that bad.
- [105:16]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [105:17]
B
You know, here. I brought him to America. I adopted him to give him a long and healthy life, and he was gone.
- [105:26]
A
How long did you have him for?
- [105:29]
B
From the time I met him till the time he passed was a little more than three years.
- [105:32]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [105:33]
B
Yeah. So I never, never, never knew that kind of pain. Like losing my parents, losing my brother, all that was devastating. But nothing like watching a child watching a child. And then it was five years later, we lost my baby, my biological baby, Zach. Zach had decided to move in with his dad when he Was a senior. He had never lived with his dad. And I couldn't stop it. I didn't want him to, but by law, I couldn't stop it. And he moved in with his dad. And he had a very sad accident on Halloween night. Plowed into the side of a police car, and nobody was seriously hurt. The policeman cut his head, but my son thought he had killed him because it knocked him out, and that caused trauma. And then some other very sad things happened, and he went into a depression that he couldn't shake. And so my ex and I took him to a doctor who put him on medicine that destroyed him. And I called the doctor three times. Twice while my son was alive, once when he passed. I've never gotten a call back, but I called him and I said I was there with my son when you prescribed this. He gave you permission to talk to me. Please call me. There's something wrong. There is something wrong. I called him a month later, and I said, my son is not doing any better. Please call me. There is something wrong.
- [107:15]
A
Wrong. Was he having, like, a reaction just
- [107:20]
B
like the side effects of the meds they put him on? First off, most people don't know this, but SSRIs are deadly for teenagers. 47% of kids who take them develop more suicidal ideation than kids given a placebo. They knew that when they started marketing it to kids. They were caught 10 or 20 years after they started marketing this to kids, and they were fined, but the only thing they forced them to do is to put a black box warning on the prescription. So there's a black box warning saying, if there's any weird side effects, please consult your physician. This can cause suicidal ideation. I never saw the black box because I'm not the one getting the prescription. And in Washington state, if you're over 14, parents can't be involved in your health care unless you permission them. He had permissioned me, but I hadn't seen the black box warning. I knew nothing about this. I knew. I had no idea that SSRIs are deadly for teenagers.
- [108:21]
A
But what child at 14 can make those kind of decisions for themselves, too? That's insane.
- [108:26]
B
Yeah. So he was 18. He decided that the side effects were causing him to go crazy, which they were. And he took himself off the meds cold turkey without telling anybody. And 18 days later, he took his life.
- [108:42]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [108:44]
B
So anybody who has a child on an ssri, Watch them like a hawk. Watch them like a hawk. If they decide to take themselves off, or if your doctor decides don't go by what the doctors say. And they, they step down from 75 to 50 to 25 to 0. You have to titrate down minuscule amounts at a time or you'll get these things called brain zaps that he was getting. He said, mom, it feels like there's electrodes in my brain.
- [109:11]
A
Oh, my goodness.
- [109:13]
B
And I didn't know. I didn't know.
- [109:16]
A
Sorry. I'm so sorry. Can we talk about the delight? You have a Delilah Junior?
- [109:25]
B
I do.
- [109:25]
A
Do you have multiple Delilah Juniors or just one?
- [109:28]
B
Well, I have a Delilah Junior. And today another Delilah's husband and brother in law showed up at my farm. They're gonna be living on our property. Cause like you, I've got acreage. And there's a young woman that I met when she was 4. She's a year older than one of my daughters and they grew up together who was named after me. And I didn't know their family. She just, just her mom and dad named her after me on the radio. And she became like another one of my kids. And when her folks divorced and her mom moved, she became a part of our extended family. And she went in the military, had some health issues. She's getting out of the military in 14 days and is moving onto the farm. So they'll actually be three Delilah's on the same property. Three Delilah Renee's on the same property. She's is Delilah Renee. Then my daughter Delilah is Delilah Junior.
- [110:27]
A
Do you guys call her dj?
- [110:29]
B
No, we call her Baby D because there was Momma Dee and then the other Delilah was Little Delilah. We called her Little Delilah. So Baby D was Baby D. Little Delilah is now grown up, so we can't call her little Delilah anymore. But Baby D stuck so at home. She's Baby D. I love that. And it's all kind of runs into Baby D or Baby.
- [110:50]
A
Yeah. So Baby D just went to prom.
- [110:54]
B
We just went to prom last weekend.
- [110:57]
A
Ours just went to prom too. And she got prom queen. So we were like so proud. I know. We were so proud. You made all of her bouquets and decorations. Are you crafty like that?
- [111:07]
B
I am.
- [111:08]
A
I'm not. I cannot do anything arts and crafts at all. How do you have the patience? There's no way that's.
- [111:13]
B
I love to create anything. I love to paint, I love to draw, I love to sculpt. I would love to be a full time artist, but I wouldn't make any money. Or do set designs. I love to do set designs.
- [111:27]
A
You probably could now though, because of your Name. So if it was like a 1, 1 out of 0, you know, like a 1 and 1. Delilah Renee painting, you could probably make some money.
- [111:37]
B
So. So her little school, our little school, I love it so much. For their prom dinner. You know, I see friends whose daughters have to or, you know, they have to have money to rent a limo and rent a tux and go to dinner and blah, blah, blah. In our little school, they went to a county park and brought taco fixings and sat around, you know, bench park table and ate tacos for their. Their prom dinner, which was very sweet.
- [112:08]
A
I love that. And you garden and you live. What is it called? Farm to table. A farm to table lifestyle. So do you grow everything on your farm?
- [112:16]
B
I do.
- [112:17]
A
That's amazing.
- [112:18]
B
That's that thousands of pounds of food and produce.
- [112:22]
A
And that's the dream.
- [112:24]
B
Yeah.
- [112:24]
A
Do you. So you garden and you grow the stuff yourself?
- [112:27]
B
I do.
- [112:27]
A
You have a gardener? I can't, dude. I do not have a green thumb. I need to come stay like.
- [112:31]
B
But you have fingernails.
- [112:32]
A
I need to come stay a week with you. You got to teach.
- [112:34]
B
You are invited to come and I will teach you herbs and naturopathic stuff and gardening.
- [112:43]
A
I love it. I'm into all naturopathic stuff. So whatever you want to teach, we got to get each other's numbers so that we can text and stuff like that.
- [112:49]
B
Yeah, we will.
- [112:50]
A
Delilah, thank you so much for coming on today.
- [112:53]
B
I said on a little clip I did on Tick Tock, I said you are neither of your title, you are neither dumb, and I'm guessing not as naturally blonde as we once were.
- [113:06]
A
Never. I was never a blonde. I'm a brunette. My hair's almost black.
- [113:09]
B
Really?
- [113:10]
A
Yes.
- [113:11]
B
So I was blonde once, therefore I get to be blonde forever.
- [113:15]
A
I love same. It's like once you go light, you just cannot go back to the dark hair. I get depressed and I look like, super super because I'm Brazilian, so I look super Brazilian when I have dark hair.
- [113:26]
B
Oh, Brazilians are the most beautiful women in the world. That's not a bad thing.
- [113:29]
A
No, no, no. Not saying it's a bad thing. I just. To me, I need the brightness. I totally need the brightness. But I'm really going to come stay a week at your farm.
- [113:37]
B
I'm not kidding. You are inviting.
- [113:38]
A
We literally travel.
- [113:39]
B
Although I read that you are ocd so I could harness your energy, but for the first 48 hours until you get it a little organized, you might. Might be kind of discombobulated because I am the opposite end of the spectrum.
- [113:54]
A
Gotcha.
- [113:54]
B
I am so, so adhd. Like, there's a place for everything and everything all over the place.
- [114:02]
A
Oh, you're type B. I'm type A. You're type B. I am type slob. I am type like, well, you need me. I'm gonna go there and organize. I'll go there and organize and you teach me how to freaking garden and like, grow stuff. Because I. I've killed sunflowers. I can't.
- [114:16]
B
Oh, my God. You cannot kill sunflowers.
- [114:18]
A
I. I didn't think you could until I killed two. It's. I don't know, I think one I over watered and one just got crunchy in the sun. I thought they were supposed to grow in the sun.
- [114:29]
B
They do. They. They do grow and. Okay, you want to know the secret to great gardening?
- [114:34]
A
Yes, please.
- [114:34]
B
Rabbit poop.
- [114:35]
A
Really?
- [114:36]
B
Rabbit manure.
- [114:37]
A
And not me. Not bunny poop.
- [114:39]
B
Yeah. Not bunny. Not. Different kind of rep. No. I pay a dude 20 bucks a bag for big old bags. He raises meat rabbits.
- [114:49]
A
Yeah.
- [114:50]
B
And either I go or I make my husband go about once every other month and bring home a truckload of bags of rabbit.
- [114:58]
A
Do I love that. So once I get my garden going, because we're gonna. We're moving on to a new property, and I actually have some acres that I can do a garden on. I'm gonna be hitting you up. First thing I'm gonna do is invest in some rabbit rabbits.
- [115:10]
B
Yeah. Either raise your own or just know somebody. Because if you buy two rabbits, you'll have 100 rabbits in a year. Oh, rabbits in a year. Yes. So but if you know somebody that raises meat rabbits, see, then you don't have to go out and feed them every day and you get the benefits.
- [115:24]
A
I'm getting into the honey business this year, so I bought some.
- [115:27]
B
You got bees?
- [115:27]
A
See, I got some bees last year and they started producing a ton of honey. And then I got to taste the
- [115:32]
B
difference of store bought honey and natural honey.
- [115:36]
A
Yes, ma'. Am. So we're calling it bunny's honey, and I'm looking for a manufacturer right now because I really want to, like, expand and, like, do this honey. Like, I'm like, fully believing in this honey.
- [115:46]
B
And then you can do like red hot honey.
- [115:48]
A
Oh, flavored honey.
- [115:50]
B
And depending upon what you're growing, if you've got acreage, you can grow fireweed or you can grow blackberries or whatever that flavors your honey.
- [115:58]
A
Oh, my God, I love you.
- [115:59]
B
Harvest it at different times to get the different flavors.
- [116:01]
A
Yes, ma'. Am. Okay, well, once this gets up and going, I'm gonna. I need your creative direction.
- [116:06]
B
Okay. And I'll even do a little.
- [116:08]
A
I need you to be my Victor.
- [116:09]
B
Okay, I will. I'll teach you everything I know.
- [116:12]
A
Oh, I appreciate it. Why don't you tell people where they can listen to you times and your social medias and all that jazz?
- [116:20]
B
The easiest way is to go on my website, Delilah.com and click on Listen now, and it has a map of the US and you can find a station close to you. If there's not a station close to you, like here in this city, you can call the local radio station and whine, or have your teenagers call and whine. Yeah. Show up at the station with, you know, boxes of honey and say, please, please, for Bunny, Put Delilah on the radio again.
- [116:52]
A
Yes.
- [116:54]
B
And if you really. If they don't do that, then you can download the iHeartRadio app. App and listen to me 24 7. Because they repeat my show. It's live at night, and then they repeat it all the next day. So you can have all Delilah all the time. My website also has links for all my podcasts or wherever you download podcasts. I have two. Love someone with Delilah that you're going to be on and then have a little faith with Delilah, which you really need to be on. And social. I'm on Facebook, I'm on Insta, and I'm on TikTok. My sister helps with my Facebook and my Instagram. She's very organized. Love that TikTok is all me and it's so disorganized. I never know when I'm posting.
- [117:37]
A
I'm going to follow you right now.
- [117:39]
B
I never know when I'm gonna post or, you know, when the idea hits, but that's where I have a whole lot of fun.
- [117:46]
A
Yay. What's Your handle on TikTok?
- [117:48]
B
Radio Delilah?
- [117:49]
A
Radio Delilah. I'm following you right now. As soon as we get off the mics right here. Thank you so much, Delilah. I love you. Please come back to the show anytime you want.
- [117:57]
B
I will. I always come back.
- [117:58]
A
Always have a.
- [117:59]
B
You are far more beautiful even than, like, all the pictures I looked at. I was gonna go glam. I was gonna go get my nails done and my hair done. I'm like, why? I can't out Bunny. Bunny.
- [118:09]
A
Like, you're so beautiful.
- [118:11]
B
And my hands are gonna be in
- [118:13]
A
the dirt tomorrow, so I literally podcast in sweats. I just. The only time you see, you see me glammed up. Glammed up as If I'm, like, on a red carpet or I have to be glammed up, but I prefer to be in sweats and just hanging out with my cows like that. That. That is my idea of a perfect day, so.
- [118:30]
B
Well, you can come and hang out with my cows when you come to my property. Although I have a damn neighbor that stole some of them. What I do. I have a neighbor. Get this.
- [118:39]
A
How do you steal a cow?
- [118:41]
B
A cow with ear tags.
- [118:43]
A
What the heck?
- [118:44]
B
So our property butts up against somebody else's property that butts up against somebody else's property. And the third person over called my girlfriend Michelle, who lives on the other side of our property and said, do you have a black bull and a couple of Angus and a Highlander and blah, blah, blah. And she said, well, I have a black bull and yes, that's his tag. Why are you asking? Goes, I sold him. She's like, what? And so she had lent us her bull to get our girls pregnant and her bull and a couple of my cows somehow went off my property through a down fence. We have elk that bring the fence down all the time over past the neighbor's property to this other guy. He knew damn good and well whose they were. They have tags. He knows who they were and he sold them.
- [119:35]
A
Sold. I would lose my mind.
- [119:37]
B
Sold them. And because they were legally on his property, he legally could do that. That. And so Michelle calls me freaking out, and I'm like, let me go check. And I take a picture. And she said, that's not Billy. Billy's got a blue tag, not a yellow tag. And, yeah, so one of my steers he got $4,000 for, he sold my. That's what jerks live out in. In. In my valley. What?
- [120:03]
A
I would be throwing hands. There's no way you. If somebody tried to sell. Crunch, we're fighting. I'm telling you, there's no way. Oh, my God. That.
- [120:11]
B
I hate that.
- [120:12]
A
And the law that if it's on his property, he can sell him. They need to change that law. How about return to cinder?
- [120:17]
B
How about. How about you knew who they were, who they belong to? Why didn't you call us? Why did you not call Michelle or my husband? Why did you not call us?
- [120:26]
A
That dude does not get invited to any of anything.
- [120:29]
B
No. I hope he subs his toe every day.
- [120:31]
A
You know, I hope you step on a frame. Freaking Lego every day.
- [120:35]
B
Lots of Legos.
- [120:35]
A
Yes.
- [120:36]
B
I hope your grandkid or your kid leaves a thousand Legos on the floor.
- [120:40]
A
Matter of fact, I hope you get
- [120:41]
B
a nail in your head, diarrhea and have to go to the bathroom and don't get to check for the Legos first.
- [120:47]
A
Amen, sister. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Don Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.