Dumb Blonde Podcast – TBT: Alexandra Kay

Release Date: September 18, 2025
Host: Bunnie XO
Guest: Alexandra Kay

Episode Overview

This episode of Dumb Blonde features musician and viral sensation Alexandra Kay, recorded while on tour. Bunnie XO dives into Alexandra’s remarkable journey from small-town beginnings to viral fame, exploring her experiences with relationships, trauma, the music industry’s highs and lows, and the importance of resilience. Through candid stories and laughter, the conversation highlights Alexandra’s authenticity, gratitude, and growth, offering listeners both inspiration and vulnerability.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Touring Life and Opening Acts

• Being on Tour with Jelly Roll
  • Alexandra describes touring with Jelly Roll as a dream come true, emphasizing the daily “pinch me” moments.
  • Quote: “It feels like a dream every single day… I always try to stop and talk to him for like five minutes because I get just, like, gems of wisdom.” (04:46)
• Learning from Humble Beginnings
  • Both host and guest reflect on how playing for tiny crowds built their stagecraft and humility.
  • Quote: “You have to go through those years of playing for nobody… to figure out how to hold a crowd’s attention.” – Alexandra (05:55)
  • Alexandra shares a story of playing to just 6 people in a 500-capacity room and how those audience members later spread the word, building her early fanbase. (07:52)

2. Upbringing, Family, and Early Musical Roots

• Close-Knit and Athletic Family
  • Alexandra grew up in a family of three sisters, deeply bonded by time spent together, especially through competitive softball.
  • Quote: “We all played competitive softball… It’s what made me ready for this kind of lifestyle – just work, work, work.” (10:12, 11:10)
• Church and First Creative Sparking
  • Singing in church as a child hinted at Alexandra’s creative energy and set the stage for her future in music.
  • Quote: “My mom would just hear me sing in church, and she was like, oh, okay… I had a little bit of a musical ear.” (13:02)

3. Teenage Trauma and Personal Growth

• Early, Abusive Relationships
  • Alexandra opens up about her first love at 13, a five-year relationship marked by her partner’s drug addiction and domestic violence.
  • Quote: “He was very heavy into drugs and it became a physically abusive relationship. I hid it… I loved him and I knew my parents would never let me see him again.” (14:17-15:09)
  • She explains that her trauma led to both songwriting and volatile friendships in adolescence.
• Reflection and Healing
  • Therapy helped her realize the impact of early trauma on her attachment style and decision-making.
  • Quote: “Once I went through my divorce and started in therapy, I realized why I hang on to things for too long.” (14:17)

4. Finding Her Musical Path & Industry Lessons

• DIY Era: SoundCloud, Dive Bars, and First Record Deals
  • Alexandra started releasing songs on SoundCloud and describes her “pop” phase and signing an early, constraining record deal at 21.
  • Quote: “My creative freedom just completely went out the window. But I learned a lot in that year and a half.” (27:16)
  • She worked with St. Louis hip-hop artists and even recorded with Nelly, Huey, and Chingy. (25:45)
  • The pitfalls of early contracts: “The songs I released with them — I haven’t seen any money. They still own everything.” (27:41)
• The Netflix Chapter: Highs and Heartbreaks
  • An Uber-ride connection led her to be cast on the Netflix show "Westside." The experience involved big hopes but ended with financial and emotional letdowns.
  • Quote: “We were all over Times Square… But then we get the call: It’s buried in the algorithm... your checks are going away… Warner Bros. dropped us all.” (38:54-39:44)
  • Lesson: “God puts me in situations way before I realize why I’m there… It makes me so grateful for moments like these.” (31:19, 38:58)

5. The Road to Viral Stardom

• TikTok and the Power of Consistency
  • Alexandra’s series of morning “coffee and covers” went massively viral on TikTok. Her authentic online presence built a huge, loyal fanbase.
  • Quote: “I slid in, sang a Jo Dee Messina song, and someone said, ‘How do you make your coffee?’—So I made coffee, sang ‘Cowboy Take Me Away,’ and got 3 million views.” (61:00)
  • She strategically alternated viral content with her original songs to grow an audience for her music.
  • First real financial breakthrough: “We made $10,000—I’ll never forget that day, it was life-changing for us.” (58:00)
• Navigating Social Media Platforms
  • Alexandra and Bunnie discuss the varying cultures of Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and X (Twitter), with Facebook bringing both huge audiences and the harshest comments.
  • Quote: “Facebook is my most ruthless platform in the comments… but the crazier it gets, the views skyrocket.” (57:29)

6. Surviving Heartbreak and Rebirth

• Leaving a Marriage and Starting Over
  • Details Alexandra’s 11-year relationship, its decline, and the heartbreak of divorce, intensified by public speculation about her rising fame.
  • Quote: “It was devastating. I had never lived alone… but moving in with my manager Beth, and having support, helped me through that period.” (44:55, 49:30)
  • She poured her emotions into the album “All I’ve Ever Known.”
  • Alexandra emphasizes empathy and privacy, refusing to smear her ex publicly: "The last thing I ever wanted to do was destroy him further... But the comment section was brutal." (47:56, 49:07)

7. The Power of Team and Personal Boundaries

• Building with Trusted Friends
  • Strong praise for her manager Beth and her tight-knit touring family.
  • Quote: “It would be detrimental to me if Beth and I weren’t working together… we grew it together.” (64:36, 68:58)
  • Alexandra now sets boundaries while remaining a people-pleaser at heart, especially for her fans.
  • Quote: “It’s so important my fans know they are loved and appreciated… that part of me can’t go away, or I’d lose myself.” (51:01)

8. Healing, New Love, and the Future

• Romance with Rocco
  • Rocco transitioned from Alexandra’s trusted guitarist and friend to her partner. Their slow burn friendship blossomed naturally and happily.
  • Quote: “With Rocco, I became so feminine… He softened me up so much. If my shoes are untied, he stops and ties them.” (73:40-74:15)
• Excitement for What’s Next
  • Alexandra is focused on soaking up tour memories, writing a second album with a new, poppier and rock-influenced sound, and exploring a fair new record deal.
  • Quote: “I’m working on my second record… It’s country still, but a little heavier—a lot of pop in there. And I’m just so proud that I held out for a deal that’s for the artist.” (76:03)
  • She discusses the stigma around signing to a label and how artists like Jelly Roll have changed the landscape for independent acts:
  • Quote: “He helped out in my scenario—a blueprint of what I could get and what was possible.” (78:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You have to go through those years of playing for nobody… to figure out how to hold a crowd’s attention.” – Alexandra Kay (05:55)
• “Once I went through my divorce and started in therapy, I realized why I hang on to things for too long.” – Alexandra Kay (14:17)
• “My creative freedom just completely went out the window. But I learned a lot in that year and a half.” – Alexandra Kay on early record deals (27:16)
• “God puts me in situations way before I realize why I’m there… It makes me so grateful for moments like these.” – Alexandra Kay (31:19, 38:58)
• “With Rocco, I became so feminine… He softened me up so much.” – Alexandra Kay (73:40)
• “It’s so important my fans know they are loved and appreciated… that part of me can’t go away, or I’d lose myself.” – Alexandra Kay (51:01)
• “We made $10,000—I’ll never forget that day, it was life-changing for us.” – Alexandra Kay (58:00)
• On her journey: “I know that… people look at you and they're like, oh, it's just the TikTok girl. But you've done some—you've earned your stripes.” – Co-host (75:03)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:51 – Start of interview and on tour with Jelly Roll
• 04:46 – Alexandra on tour life and learning from Jelly Roll
• 07:52 – Playing to (almost) empty rooms and perseverance
• 09:03 – Alexandra’s family, upbringing, and softball
• 13:02 – Early music influences (church, family)
• 14:00–15:09 – Teenage relationship, trauma, and resilience
• 23:08 – First steps recording and sharing songs online
• 25:45 – St. Louis hip-hop roots; working with Nelly, Huey
• 27:16 – Signing (and learning from) her first record deal
• 31:19, 38:58 – “Invisible string” moments and career setbacks
• 44:55–49:08 – Discussing divorce, heartbreak, and living alone
• 51:01 – People-pleasing, setting boundaries with fans
• 55:10-58:00 – TikTok breakthrough, viral coffee videos, earning real money
• 61:00-62:10 – ‘Coffee and cover’ TikToks explode
• 65:35 – Facebook Live sessions keep the band afloat in the pandemic
• 73:40 – Relationship with Rocco and new beginnings
• 76:03–76:58 – New album and fair record deal insights
• 78:32 – Jelly Roll and changing how indie deals are made

Tone and Style

This episode brims with warmth, honesty, and humor, bouncing between laughter and deeply personal revelations. Both Bunnie XO and Alexandra keep things real, addressing heavy topics like trauma, heartbreak, and industry manipulation, but always return to themes of resilience and gratitude. Alexandra’s openness and Bunnie’s supportive, candid style create a safe space for unfiltered storytelling.

For New Listeners

If you’re discovering Alexandra Kay for the first time, this episode offers an intimate tour of her backstory—far beyond just being “the TikTok coffee girl.” Her journey through pain, rebuilding, viral triumph, and authentic artistry is laid bare, making her music and social presence all the more resonant.

Where to follow Alexandra Kay:

• @alexandrakmusic (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X/Twitter)

Note: Content summarized skips ad reads and housekeeping. For the most powerful moments, check the timestamps above.