TBT: Chelcie Lynn

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde - Episode: TBT: Chelcie Lynn

Release Date: June 5, 2025
Host: Bunnie XO, Dumb Blonde Productions
Guest: Chelsea Lynn

---

Introduction

In this episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast, host Bunnie XO welcomes Chelsea Lynn, a vibrant and humorous guest, along with her friends Paige and Jen. The episode dives deep into their personal experiences, creative endeavors, and the dynamics of their relationships, all delivered with a hefty dose of comedy and candidness.

Stand-Up Comedy Adventures

Chelsea's Foray into Stand-Up
Chelsea Lynn shares her nervous yet exhilarating journey into stand-up comedy. Having recently embarked on her second stand-up show, she reflects on the terrifying anticipation versus the liberating experience of being on stage.

• Chelsea Lynn (04:35): "It's awful, but it's the best thing in the world."

Despite her fears, Chelsea expresses confidence in her comedic abilities, acknowledging that even seasoned comedians experience moments when jokes don't land.

• Chelsea Lynn (05:15): "But I've only done one round of shows in Dallas, and I nailed it every time."

Collaborative Creative Projects
The trio discusses their collaborative projects, including live streaming shows and variety acts. Chelsea highlights her collaboration with Theo Vaughn, a favorite stand-up comedian, emphasizing the hard work and mayhem behind the scenes.

• Chelsea Lynn (08:25): "We wanted it like a variety show, kind of like a haul."

Social Media and Content Creation

Navigating Censorship and Platform Challenges
Chelsea Lynn opens up about the challenges of content creation in the face of increasing censorship on platforms like YouTube and Snapchat. She reveals her plans to launch an OnlyFans account to bypass these restrictions, aiming to produce higher-quality, uncensored content.

• Chelsea Lynn (16:06): "I think in two years, OnlyFans will be the number one platform."

Monetizing Unique Content
The discussion shifts to Paige's innovative venture of creating and selling "butthole coasters," a humorous and niche product that has garnered significant interest from their audience.

• Paige (11:43): "I like, dude, you gotta do it."

Personal Relationships and Dynamics

Long-Term Relationships on Tour
Tammy shares insights into maintaining a healthy relationship while on tour, emphasizing the importance of personal space and individuality.

• Tammy (36:47): "I'm just going to make my own podcast tour. Like, literally."

The Story of How Tammy and Jay Met
The hosts reminisce about Tammy’s relationship with Jay, highlighting their immediate connection and collaborative synergy that has blossomed over 15 years.

• Tammy (29:46): "Like, soulmate relationships. Because you can have friends that are soulmates, too."

Humorous Anecdotes and Skits

Fart Guessing Game
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a comedic skit where Chelsea Lynn participates in a "fart guessing game." The trio lightheartedly attempts to guess the substance behind staged flatulence, leading to uproarious laughter and playful banter.

• Tammy (62:21): "It's a form of sugar mixed with something."

Prank Stories
Chelsea shares a bizarre encounter involving a misinterpreted massage appointment that turned into an unexpected and humorous experience.

• Chelsea Lynn (25:32): "So she starts giving a massage, and it's actually pretty good. I'm like, okay."

Merchandise and Promotions

Throughout the episode, subtle promotions for Chelsea Lynn's upcoming projects and merchandise are interwoven, maintaining the balance between content and advertising.

• Chelsea Lynn (71:01): "Everybody go. Follow me."

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with heartfelt expressions of camaraderie among the hosts and guests, reinforcing the familial bonds that underpin their collaborative efforts. Bunnie XO closes by thanking Chelsea Lynn and her friends, promising more engaging and hilarious content in future episodes.

• Tammy (71:40): "Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Dumb Blonde. We will see you guys next week. Bye."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chelsea Lynn [04:35]: "It's awful, but it's the best thing in the world."
• Chelsea Lynn [05:15]: "But I've only done one round of shows in Dallas, and I nailed it every time."
• Chelsea Lynn [08:25]: "We wanted it like a variety show, kind of like a haul."
• Chelsea Lynn [16:06]: "I think in two years, OnlyFans will be the number one platform."
• Paige [11:43]: "I like, dude, you gotta do it."
• Tammy [29:46]: "Like, soulmate relationships. Because you can have friends that are soulmates, too."
• Tammy [36:47]: "I'm just going to make my own podcast tour. Like, literally."
• Chelsea Lynn [25:32]: "So she starts giving a massage, and it's actually pretty good. I'm like, okay."
• Tammy [62:21]: "It's a form of sugar mixed with something."
• Chelsea Lynn [71:01]: "Everybody go. Follow me."
• Tammy [71:40]: "Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Dumb Blonde. We will see you guys next week. Bye."

Key Takeaways

• Embracing Vulnerability in Comedy: Chelsea Lynn's honest discussion about her anxieties and triumphs in stand-up highlights the importance of vulnerability in comedic performance.

• Adaptation to Digital Platforms: The guests emphasize the necessity of adapting to changing digital landscapes, especially concerning content monetization and platform censorship.

• Strength of Personal Relationships: The episode underscores how strong personal relationships and mutual support can enhance creative collaborations and personal well-being.

• Humor as a Unifying Force: Through various skits and humorous anecdotes, the podcast illustrates how humor can strengthen bonds and create memorable experiences.

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This episode of Dumb Blonde offers listeners a blend of humor, personal insights, and engaging stories, making it a must-listen for those seeking both laughter and relatable content.

Transcript

[Bunny]

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[Chelsea Lynn]

Lane Finger roll I would never sell my only soul. Heard your whole team, what's for sale? Heard us on the market for the low who the realest we might never.

[Paige]

Know all this acting.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You go play a role, give you the world. When they sign you up, try you out, and then they. Oh, now you're looking hungry.

[Tammy]

What's up, you sexy? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I got my white trash sisters up in this again. Chelsea, Lynn, Paige, Jen. How you doing, baby? And we have the other sisters, too.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yep. Maggie and Beth.

[Tammy]

Maggie and Bev. I'm so happy to have you back.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Thanks for having us.

[Bunny]

Dude.

[Tammy]

Last time you came, you literally rolled up to my podcast by yourself, was just like, what's up? Came and was just like the coolest thing ever and had a blast. Dude, you were just. You're the light of my life.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I love you.

[Tammy]

I love back. I'm so happy you're here. We're all.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Can I say we're all obsessed with you, by the way.

[Tammy]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We were talking about it on the way here. We're like, we love Bunny. You're just a badass dude.

[Tammy]

That's how I feel about you guys.

[Paige]

I feel like I know.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Just from watching your stories. I'm like, I don't really watch people's stories, but I watch her.

[Tammy]

I love you guys. That's how I feel about you guys. I feel like we're like just sisters from other misters. Like, literally kindred souls.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Chachi's digging it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He's digging his butthole.

[Tammy]

Joshi's over here shaking his ass for everybody.

[Paige]

Oh, my gosh. I've seen a dog do that.

[Tammy]

Dude, he gets super excited when. Whenever he gets really excited. This is the. That he does.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, gosh.

[Tammy]

It's just an all day thing.

[Paige]

Probably feels good.

[Tammy]

So what are you guys doing out here in Nashville?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, I've got some standup shows.

[Tammy]

Yes. You were talking about that last time you came on. You hadn't started doing it. No. Yeah. How is that going?

[Chelsea Lynn]

So this is so. This will be the second time I ever do standup ever. Which is terrifying.

[Tammy]

Dude, it's got to be right. Like, you walk in, the room is just full of people staring at you, and you have to be funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's awful, but it's the best thing in the world. It's weird to. To, you know, explain, like, it's the day. Like, I'm already nervous for it. And it's tomorrow. The. In the morning, I'll feel like I have to puke all day long.

[Tammy]

My butthole's puckering for.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Like, but the second I get on stage, it's like, oh, like, it's so easy.

[Tammy]

It's just natural.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tammy]

Have you ever had a joke that just flopped and you're just, like, staring at everybody like. Like, my tits, you know, like, just try to cover up the fact that. No. She said no.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No. And I know, and I know it's going to happen one day because everybody bombs everybody.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

But I've only done one round of shows in Dallas, and last. I don't know when was that? Like, Like. Yeah, so it's about a year ago. So I haven't done it in a year. And that was my first stand up show ever.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And you hear about, you know, comics bombing and stuff. I never have.

[Tammy]

I think it's just. Because it's just natural for you.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Thank you. Yeah, no, it's gonna happen one day. I just. I feel it, but I don't think. But no, I nail it every time.

[Tammy]

She's like, you know, not to toot my own horn, but toot, toot.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I feel like you don't even get that nervous, like, right now even. I'd be.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, I'm. You know, I. Tomorrow will be a different story.

[Tammy]

Paige, do you do stand up, too?

[Paige]

No. The pressure be up there, like, oh, I would. I'd be the person to be like, you want to see my pew?

[Chelsea Lynn]

She was like, but I do want.

[Tammy]

To say immediately go to the gross. Just to freak everybody out.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She does songs and she writes, like, comedy songs, and they're fun.

[Tammy]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She doesn't, like, release a whole lot of them. And I keep telling her, like, once you perfect them, you need to release them and then come be on the road with me.

[Tammy]

Dude, please do that.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She needs to.

[Paige]

We.

[Tammy]

We just got into the studio and I. I dropped that Christmas song, and I was like, I want to be the weirdo Yankovic of hot chicks. Yeah.

[Paige]

That what I'm saying.

[Tammy]

I love that, dude. Oh, my God.

[Paige]

Can we just, like, switch around songs and just like.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I love that.

[Tammy]

And not take it serious? You can't take yourself serious. Yeah, I love that. Do you. Can you sing a song off the top of your head? You got one for us?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Which one day.

[Tammy]

The Drip. Yes. The sisters know.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's so good.

[Paige]

I just saw this little filter. You know, the guy or not the guy, but the glasses.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That just the mustache control.

[Paige]

I was just on that one day, and then I started doing, like, questions, like, ask Dave a question. And then it just became a.

[Chelsea Lynn]

People love it.

[Paige]

I made a song, and I was like, I don't even know the lyrics. She's like, I just, like, 10 minutes, and I'm.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And it's good.

[Tammy]

It's just, like, off the top.

[Paige]

Is it gay if a man sucks my dick? Roses are red, violets are blue I hate rhyming you. It's, like, dumb like that. Yeah, I love it. But we're gonna do, like, some real. Like. I want to do, like, some country, like, country twang, but funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Make it pervy.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

So the song Dick down in Dallas, you guys had Trey Lewis on last night. I did Vagina in Vegas, but we recorded it, and I sound like a owl. A screeching in the woods. I was like, we cannot release this. But, dude, because it was.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Because you did it as country.

[Tammy]

I did it as country, and it just wasn't. You know, my thing's more like Marilyn Monroe. And I just. The key that Trey sung it in, I was just like, you know what? Maybe we'll just save this for another day. I'll have to give you the lyrics, though, because maybe you could do it. That would be. It's like cream. Cream pies in Compton. Like, it's just a whole bunch of.

[Paige]

Oh, that's good.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That is good.

[Tammy]

I know you guys gotta hear it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's good.

[Tammy]

So back to your standup. You have a couple shows out here, and then you guys are, like, on a tour bus, and you guys are, like, really doing the thug thistle.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, we got the hookup.

[Paige]

We're doing it.

[Tammy]

And we.

[Paige]

Yeah, we got.

[Tammy]

But you still got the bus and you're still doing the tour is what I'm saying, though. Like, that's crazy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So we're supposed to. We have, like, 70 shows booked between now and May, and we haven't even released tickets because it's like, who knows what's gonna happen? We're taking it week by week. And, you know, here, you know, But, God, I'm ready to just roll.

[Tammy]

Like, we've been. I feel like we've been literally, like caged animals for the past year. So I. I told Jay that, too. I was like, dude, as soon as it opens up, I don't even care. I'm gonna make my own podcast tour. Like, literally.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm just gonna go, dude.

[Tammy]

Yeah. So the thing with you and Theo, you guys did last night. Yeah. Talk to me about those.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So. So Theo Vaughn, who I'm obsessed with. I don't know if you know who he is.

[Tammy]

Jay was just on the King and the Sting. Oh, I didn't know who he was until he went on.

[Paige]

He's a good time.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I personally, he's my favorite stand up comedian. I mean, if you've never seen Theo Vaughn, you've got to go.

[Tammy]

I gotta check it out.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, my gosh. So he. I was on his podcast a few months ago and about died because I was, you know, such a big fan. And then he literally called me up like a month ago. I was like, hey, do you want to do that? I have this idea for this live show, like this live streaming show. Would you want to be. I was dead that he even asked me.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And we've been working really hard for, you know, a solid month to just put on a. We wanted it like a variety show, kind of like he haul.

[Tammy]

Yes. Yes. Love that.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yep. So that's kind of what we did.

[Tammy]

And I'm gonna watch it tonight. I didn't have a chance to catch it last night. Okay, we're gonna watch it tonight.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

They're gonna add a little bit of edits.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We're gonna edit it because behind the scenes, it was mayhem. We had never. You know what I mean?

[Tammy]

Anytime. A live show, dude, that's hot. Hard.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It was very hard.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

But I still think it went well and, you know, so. Yeah.

[Tammy]

Is this the only. Or is Theo traveling with you guys too, or. It was just that. That just like a oneoff.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, that was. We're going to try to see about doing something like that, you know, quarterly or something or every few months.

[Tammy]

I love that. We'll have to check Theo out too. So you're just like, really getting out there and just putting yourself out there and meeting all your fans.

[Bunny]

Like, how does that feel?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Crazy.

[Tammy]

It's insane, right?

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's crazy.

[Tammy]

I bet you have just the coolest fans. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

How many titties do we see a night?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, at the show.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Signing titties. Signing ass, asses. I love it.

[Tammy]

Oh, it's so.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I love it.

[Tammy]

She designed to sign a butthole for me.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Chelsea Lynn]

The hole.

[Tammy]

The hole.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Tammy]

That's what I want.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's bound to happen.

[Tammy]

No, please. I'm so obsessed with buttholes. I'd like to. Dude, you gotta do it.

[Paige]

I'm gonna give you one of my butthole coasters.

[Tammy]

Oh, my God, please. That is right up my alley, dude.

[Paige]

I have some out in the comments car in my backpack.

[Tammy]

Oh, dude, please. I'll cherish it for the rest of my life.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Has probably the best butthole I've ever seen in my life.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, well, it is. I mean, I don't want.

[Tammy]

Hold on though.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Don't.

[Tammy]

Don't put this out there because now she's gonna have to show us.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, it's like really good.

[Tammy]

It's like she said. Oh, you'll see it really good. Is it just like pink or brown?

[Chelsea Lynn]

What is it pink? Little. I mean, I'm like, how do you have such a great butthole?

[Paige]

And it has a little like Marilyn Monroe freckle.

[Tammy]

Oh my God, I have a freckle on my hole. I got a mole in the hole too. That's what I call it.

[Paige]

Yeah, it's like a signature, you know? Like people know that's your anus.

[Tammy]

I love that. When can we see this butthole? Whenever we do the game.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, she started somebody DM'd her and was like, hey, I'd like to buy butthole coasters for my wife randomly.

[Paige]

Like a gag gift. Because yeah, he's having a baby.

[Tammy]

Right? What a great gift to give your a push present.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, how long ago was that? Five months ago. Yeah, and people still did. She makes butthole coasters 24 7. That's her full time job now.

[Tammy]

So you just take a picture and just put it on the butthole coaster.

[Paige]

Well, I text Chelsea and I'm like, hey, like this guy wants this gift. And like I actually want to do it. How do I make this happen? And she's like, I don't know. She like puts it on her.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I put it on my story.

[Paige]

Hundreds of people are like, I want one too. I want one too. So I'm like, all right.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So she's in there like pouring red glitter.

[Tammy]

Listen, we both became rich off of our buttholes, but in two different ways.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Tammy]

That's awesome. But I did see that you had an only fans. Chelsea, when are you going to start your only fans?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Hoping to launch it in February.

[Tammy]

Dude, I'm ready.

[Chelsea Lynn]

But it scares me because you know they're cracking down on pages promoting anything. I mean, do you even mention the world word only fans.

[Tammy]

I had to take my link out of my bio.

[Paige]

Yeah, go to it.

[Tammy]

You create a backup account and you send everybody to your backup account and then you have the link and buy there's some free game for all you only fans hoes. Then you have the link in bio in your Backup account. So if that backup account gets taken, at least you have your main.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Paige]

Okay. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That is so I'm excited. I've got good. I've got some good ideas for it. It's going to be kind of different. I'm going to actually, like, produce episodes of Trailer Trash because I have so many ideas that I haven't been able to even do right. Past two or three years.

[Tammy]

Right.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Because censorship.

[Tammy]

Censorship. YouTube is getting crazy with censorship, too. I had a lot of people get upset with me because I had to move platforms from YouTube to Patreon, but they're not understanding that it's really getting so bad.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. People like, why don't you post this anymore? I'm like, because they threatened to take down my whole account if. I mean, it's like. It's bad.

[Tammy]

No, it's getting ins.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So I've had so many ideas that I've wanted to do that I thought, I could never put this on Facebook.

[Tammy]

I could never put this on YouTube.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So I'm actually going to, like, higher production and a professional, like, you know, like an episode and. And we're gonna put out some.

[Tammy]

Dude, I can't wait. I've been telling her since last year.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know.

[Tammy]

Like, get your ass on Only fans. I'll help you with whatever you need. Just do it.

[Paige]

Yeah, we all have just.

[Tammy]

It's crazy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. I'm going to what's on your only.

[Tammy]

Fans Page, because I was lurking it today. I was like, do I subscribe?

[Paige]

Oh, yeah.

[Tammy]

I didn't want to be a weirdo.

[Paige]

Because me and my sister, like, hey, we're just so competitive and we're always trying to just, like, have little competitions and we're. Okay, next competitions. Whoever shaves their pubes first is a. So we're like. There's, like, not even.

[Tammy]

Like, me and Monica, we had to grow our pubes out to get wax last month. And dude, my bush. First of all, hair on a bush just makes it look mangy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

I don't care what anybody says.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

I'd never seen my. My muffler. It looked bigger. Like, it's so cute and pretty when it shaved and then when it. It was just like an Ewok.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

It was, like, so crazy.

[Paige]

It's just laying there, you know, like sashimi on top of some rice.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. So.

[Paige]

Yeah. But I don't know it. I got used to it at first. I was just itching it. Well, I still play with it a lot. Like, you know, her hands are constantly down her pants for the first couple.

[Tammy]

Same with my husband. If you watch him while we're eating dinner, he'll probably scratch his mouth and sniff his fingers while he's hanging out with you.

[Paige]

He doesn't smell his fingers all the time.

[Tammy]

It's. I'm just like, babe, what are we doing here? Why is this what I got married for?

[Chelsea Lynn]

But, like, so we get. I get stuff taken down, like, on Snapchat.

[Tammy]

Oh, they deleted my Snapchat, and I.

[Paige]

Didn'T even do anything wrong, like a Snapchat premium or.

[Tammy]

No, I don't. I. I wasn't cool enough for the premiums. I just did a reg. But I was promoting my only fans on my Snapchat clothes, pictures, and videos, and they deleted it.

[Paige]

Did you take it down for, like, 30 days?

[Tammy]

Oh, no. They. They disabled it and would never give it back.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. So, you know, I'm just going to.

[Tammy]

Post, like, have you had any of your accounts taken?

[Chelsea Lynn]

My Snapchat got taken away, but I got it back.

[Tammy]

Oh, good. Well, because you're Tammy Trailer tr. They're like, we're not taking her damn Snapchat. Yeah, we'll have the whole world after us. So on your only fans, you're gonna just be posting stuff that you just can't post anywhere else.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Pretty much just like, us doing dumb and, you know, like, I'll slap. I'll pull up my titty and just, like, slap somebody in the face. I could never post it on Instagram, you know, so stuff like that, just us doing stupid stuff. Vlogs. Yeah, I hope it's gonna be good.

[Paige]

Anything like, should I post this on Instagram or will I be taken down? It's just.

[Tammy]

That's every day of my life, literally. Yeah. I don't even post on my main page anymore. Barely, like, pictures, because, like, you can't. Anything that's even considered sexual, they'll take off your profile.

[Paige]

Well, I feel like all the other accounts are afraid of only Fans just blowing up because creators can make money and post whatever the hell they want. So I feel like Instagram, Snapchat are like, oh, no.

[Tammy]

I said the same thing. I said, I bet you only fans wouldn't make a deal with Instagram. And that's why Instagram's coming against them so hard, because Instagram was probably like, we want a percentage. And only Fans was like, go fuck yourself. So they're literally taking everybody else's money.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I think in two years, only Fans will be the number one platform.

[Tammy]

Oh, yeah. Well, only Fans Was originally made for musicians.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, I knew that.

[Tammy]

Yeah. To be able to go there and interact one on one with their fans. And then sex workers took over and were like, hey, we're gonna monetize off of this. Yeah, exactly.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I had. A couple months ago, I actually had like meetings with people from Only Fans. And that's what they told me. They were like, you know, we were really wanting comedians and athletes.

[Tammy]

Yes.

[Chelsea Lynn]

To. To break the. Because, you know, you say only fans and people automatically only think one thing.

[Tammy]

Right.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You know, and like, we want a bunch of different style, different people. You know, there's a lot of people on Only Fans that don't pros post in, you know.

[Tammy]

Totally. So there's people on there that cook. There's people in there that like make candles. There's people.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And why can't do weird post the links.

[Tammy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Regardless of which. But you know what I mean. Yeah.

[Tammy]

They actually came to me and wanted me to take the podcast over there. And I was just like, I don't know, you know, it's. That's a hard decision. Take your podcast to Only to Only Fans. And I was like, might get mixed up with my butthole. Cuz my butthole's on there, you know?

[Paige]

So I was just like, yeah, might all become one.

[Tammy]

All right, guys, we are back. And I gotta ask the question again. What's up with Greg Skullet? Okay, first of all, let's see.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Let's see it.

[Tammy]

Let's see this.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Do it. Turn around, baby. Turn around. Show full back. Look at that. Tilt your head. There you go. There you go.

[Paige]

Give them the full whip.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So the skull, it was my idea.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I thought it would be majestic and. Yeah, yeah. And it's just gotten a little too gross for me.

[Tammy]

I know. I know exactly what you're talking about, dude. I did that with Jay and his beard. I was like, grow it out, it'll be sexy. And now he's like Bushwick Bill. And I'm just like, can you so unkempt. What is going on?

[Greg]

She's saying the same thing to me.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, but now he doesn't take it a little bit. It'd be different if he took care of it and you know, but.

[Paige]

Oh, he doesn't take care of it. And then he like wakes up and it's all crazy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And he's like, paige, can you braid it? And I'm like, it looks like I.

[Greg]

Have angel wings in the morning, you know, like this.

[Tammy]

Are you. So are you attached to the skullet?

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's what I was about to say I. I want him to get rid of it. He's attached to it.

[Tammy]

So how long do you like it?

[Greg]

Okay, I'll make a deal. Once it gets down to past my shoulders, well, I'll cut it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We've talked about. We've talked about.

[Tammy]

Oh, I love rat tails.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And. And they're damn near extinct. Yes. And we're bringing. We're bringing it back.

[Tammy]

What we got Jay growing over there. This is a little rat tail.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I want Greg to be completely bald and just have a little. Just a little do it tail and have it be so long.

[Tammy]

Do it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Because I haven't seen one in real life in about eight years.

[Greg]

Just look.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Bangs.

[Tammy]

That old Bangladesh hairdo I remember.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Can you grow bangs, baby?

[Greg]

Well, they're more like little sporadic hairs.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Just say no.

[Paige]

Just that little.

[Tammy]

That little crybaby curl.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes.

[Tammy]

Give him that little crybaby girl.

[Greg]

Exactly.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes.

[Tammy]

So in other words, we can say that you regret having him grow out the skullet or.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No. No. Because.

[Tammy]

Did it have a good run?

[Chelsea Lynn]

It had a good run. And we're going to get a good rat tail out of it.

[Tammy]

Yes.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So I'm happy with that.

[Tammy]

I agree.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Because we don't see enough rat tails anymore.

[Paige]

I feel like your followers are attached to the school.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes, they are.

[Tammy]

Yeah. When you guys shave that mofo off, dude. Oh my God. You guys have to like make it a whole thing so that people sell.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It to lots of.

[Paige]

Or not sell it, but donate it.

[Tammy]

Listen, there's people out there that might eat it. Okay? Like there's. There's a fetish for everybody. You never know what's going on.

[Greg]

Some ladies beaver pill, you know.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Overdoing it.

[Tammy]

So what it like traveling with all of you guys? It's got to be hilarious, dude.

[Paige]

Oh, it's like this times 10.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's fun.

[Tammy]

Who smells the worst?

[Paige]

Sometimes her vagina.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Do you?

[Tammy]

Why do we not have Chelsea farting this stuff out of her butt?

[Chelsea Lynn]

I. Yeah, I fart the most out of everybody.

[Greg]

She farts the most. I. The most.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Oh, my husband. That's. That's got to be a guy thing. Cuz I can never. And he shits at least three times a day. I'm like, it's crazy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Like, no, I don't have that problem. But no, it's. It's fun. I like having the whole, you know, the whole group.

[Tammy]

It's fine. It's like the Partridge Family. Just everybody's on a roll.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Exactly.

[Paige]

We're all pretty stinky and we Let each other know, like, oh, yeah, yeah, your stinks.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Go take a shower.

[Tammy]

Has anybody on the tour bus yet?

[Paige]

No, they told us not to.

[Tammy]

Yeah, it's like the golden rule, but there's always somebody who forgets that rule and goes and shits in the.

[Paige]

Yeah, I've thought about it, but they said the toilet can't handle it, so.

[Tammy]

Well, do you know how many times when Jay and I first got together, we would be on a tour bus and he would come out of the bathroom carrying a bag of. I was like, we got close. Real f. Dude. It was crazy. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You have to get it out of the toilet.

[Tammy]

You have to. In the bag.

[Chelsea Lynn]

How?

[Tammy]

Ask him. He's a. A master.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I can show you how to do it.

[Greg]

You want this on your podcast?

[Tammy]

Yes, please. Yes, please.

[Paige]

All right.

[Greg]

We can do it. We'll make it happen.

[Tammy]

Oh, I thought. I thought it was gonna give us a playbook.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know.

[Paige]

I was too.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Show us. Show us how it's done.

[Tammy]

Theoretically speaking, if you had to on a tour bus, how would you do it, babe?

[Paige]

Open it up and just in it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And just hope I'd get everywhere. Yeah.

[Greg]

Hopefully you don't have the splatter.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

I would be so happy if I had splatter shits. Mine are like little rock turds. It's the worst.

[Paige]

Mine are so long, they're like a 12 inch sub.

[Tammy]

That's got to be so relieved.

[Paige]

They're so tapered. I feel like I have a dog butthole.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Hold on. Yeah, I just said I'm a. I splatter and Bunny goes. Oh, I'm so jealous.

[Tammy]

I am. Like, you have to. I have to, like, rock back and forth just to get a turd out. Like, it's a whole fru. I call it wrestling that turd. No, I eat very healthy and everything, but I think it's from. Yes, I have a lot of wrestling.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That turd no merch shirt. I know.

[Tammy]

I swear to God. Swear to God. No, But I think it's from just years of taking diet pills when I was younger. It. My whole system up, so my. Is just very dry.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That sucks. Because there's nothing like a. Just a good dude.

[Tammy]

It's so relieving. When I do have them, I'm just like. I rejoice for, like, weeks on end because they're just so far and few between.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Between. Yeah.

[Bunny]

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[Chelsea Lynn]

Release.

[Tammy]

Oh yeah, for sure.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Release. Don't ever say that again.

[Tammy]

That's true. We're not in a massage parlor. Speaking of massages, what is up with the crackhead that I saw on your story?

[Chelsea Lynn]

So I actually added this story to my stand up.

[Tammy]

Oh, you did? Okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

So we can't give away too much.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, I. No, it's. It's a little different. I mean, but. But I was telling them. I know that when I go up and tell this story, it's gonna. It's gonna sound made up.

[Tammy]

When you told it on your story, Jay and I were laying in bed. I was laughing my ass off. I was like, this is so funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Insane. So what happened was I called up. I don't even know where I found her. You know, about. People will come to your house.

[Tammy]

Did you call off Back Page?

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, it was a legit app.

[Tammy]

Okay. Because when you were describing it, I was like, she ordered a hooker off Back Page, and she's using massage as the code word.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So. So this lady shows up. Well, her profile picture looks great. She looks, you know, beautiful. Says 30 years experience. Like, gets there.

[Tammy]

She did the old catfish.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Ye.

[Tammy]

Old Catfish.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I mean, she was. She was a crackhead, and she was. She could barely stand up. She could barely speak. And I'm literally like, do I tell her to go home? Well, her car had broke down, so she had been dropped off at our house. I'm like, oh, well, now I. You know, she's. I gotta get.

[Tammy]

I'm done for. Yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So she starts giving massage, and it's actually pretty good. I'm like, okay. You know, the. Passes out on me and is still massaging.

[Tammy]

No, I'm so ocd. I would have probably freaked out twice. No.

[Paige]

I would have sat there quiet, like.

[Tammy]

Oh, how did you handle it? So great.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I was in such shock. I was. I was like, do I push her off? Do I wake her up? Like, you know what I mean? So finally I was like, ma' am, are you okay? And she's laying on my head. Yeah, it's. And it sounds. No, it's real. And I'm.

[Tammy]

Were you there?

[Chelsea Lynn]

He was in the next one.

[Greg]

Let her finish the story, because I gotta tell you what happened to me next.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. And I just said, ma' am, are you okay? And she goes, yeah, I want. While she's laying on me.

[Tammy]

Is she drooling at this point? What? Does she have color in her face? Like.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, she's wearing a mask.

[Tammy]

Oh, okay, good. Well, that's. At least.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She got. Yeah. And I said, because you're. You passed out on me. And she goes, goes, oh, I just got these clothes and the strap keeps coming off.

[Tammy]

Oh.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Something a crackhead would say.

[Tammy]

Word. Code word.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

About. I'm about to get.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. No, this. It was just the weirdest, dude. The weirdest thing.

[Tammy]

So was she on drugs? Obviously, I'm sure. Okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. And it wasn't like.

[Tammy]

She wasn't like, a narcoleptic massager.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, no, no, no.

[Tammy]

She was some sweet old grandma who was just, you know.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yep.

[Tammy]

Working. Cruising for a bruising.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. And I don't want to tell too much because I do. I do go into it and.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

In the stand up.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'll tell you after. But this. It was. It was just a crazy Experience. And then she left. And I literally was like, why does this happen to me? And then I was like, literally. I think it happens for stand up.

[Tammy]

Oh, absolutely, dude. That's gold.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

I think I might have even messaged you and been like, this is gold. Like, totally, dude. Yes. What happened to you? After?

[Chelsea Lynn]

He was supposed to get a massage.

[Tammy]

To talk about this.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Greg]

So the whole idea was that she was going to get her massage first, she got it done, and then she comes in there and tells the story.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And I'm like. I'm like, greg, how did you not.

[Tammy]

Call him in there? I been like, yo, babe.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know.

[Greg]

She came in, and then my eyes just get big, and I'm like, what the. What are you talking about? And so I. She's like, you're. She's ready for you. So I walk in there, and I.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Don'T have a mask.

[Tammy]

Set him up for the Okie dokie.

[Greg]

I don't have a. I don't have a mask on. And I'm like, okay, yeah, you want me to lay down face first or on my back? You know? And she goes face up. So then I look at her, and I was like, well, let me go get my mask. I don't have a mask. You want me to get a mask? So I look at her. Her mask is down below her nose, and she's got a snot bubble hanging out.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Huge, long socks.

[Greg]

If I'm laying on my back and this snot bubble drizzles across my fucking face, there's gonna be problems.

[Tammy]

Problems.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So, Greg.

[Greg]

So I. I couldn't do it.

[Paige]

And I.

[Greg]

And I said, hey, look, you got. You got a little dribble, you know?

[Chelsea Lynn]

I told her, hey, you got a little dribble.

[Greg]

She goes like that, pulls her mask up.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Tammy]

And touches you.

[Greg]

No. I hit the door.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Greg comes back.

[Greg]

I said. I said, maggie, Chelsea, I can't do this.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He walks in, and there ain't no way.

[Tammy]

She's.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She's leaking her face.

[Greg]

She's got dribble.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She's leaking dribble.

[Tammy]

She's soaking wet.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He comes back in, and he was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And I go, what do you want.

[Tammy]

Me to tell her?

[Chelsea Lynn]

He goes, tell her how to go back to work. Go tell him. So I literally already knew what she.

[Greg]

Needed to go tell her. I couldn't. I couldn't be mean.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I felt horrible.

[Greg]

I felt horrible for her. And I'm like, I can't be mean to this woman, you know? After Chelsea, just tell me all that's going down. Just tell her how to go back to work.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So I did.

[Greg]

She did.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I went back in there, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. He's not gonna get his massage. But I'll still pay you. You know, I want to pay her for her time. She's like, no, that's okay. She was very nice.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And then I was like, get the girl.

[Tammy]

Thank you. How did. That's. That's just insane. So we'll have to tune in to Chelsea's. Yes. Come see the show so that you guys can finish the rest.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It gets. It gets a little weirder than what I said.

[Paige]

A little more detail.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Well, if you want to go hang out with Jay, you can. You don't have to sit here, but you can. You're more than welcome to stay in here too. I just want you to know. Okay. All right, Cool.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Figured he would.

[Tammy]

So I wanted to talk about how you guys met, because I feel like we got to witness this from the beginning, and I think it's been, like, the sweetest relationship ever.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Should we. Can we say.

[Paige]

I don't. I'm trying to think of how we can say how we met.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, we technically, legally can't say.

[Tammy]

Are you serious?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, when we tell you, you'll be like, okay, got you. So let's just say, oh, got you.

[Paige]

For a future Gotcha project.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We met at a meeting, and I walked in, and she was in the lobby with Brett. Her boyfriend.

[Tammy]

Brett's here, by the way. Yeah, he's somewhere. We got him in a hole. He's in a hole right now.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And literally within a minute, we were.

[Paige]

Like, literally bonded and in, like, meeting. They're like, so you guys are just, like, childhood best friends, and we're like. Like, we met two minutes ago.

[Tammy]

But that's how. Like, soulmate relationships. Because you can have friends that are soul mates, too.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

That's how soulmate relationships work. That's how Jay and I were. As soon as I walked in, I was just like, dude, you are not my type. But what's up? Like, I feel like my soul recognizes you. Yeah.

[Paige]

It was crazy inseparable. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

But people were literally like, what do you mean? Like, you just met? We're like, we just met in the lobby. That's when we're like, 10 minutes ago.

[Tammy]

So after we met you. Yeah. Right. So after that meeting, you guys just started collabing together, and it was Internet gold after that.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

No, for sure. You guys. Everything. You guys do is funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Thank you.

[Tammy]

Like, you falling. How do you do that? So amazing.

[Paige]

Just.

[Tammy]

Did you fall as a child? Like, that's okay.

[Paige]

So I'm the youngest of eight, so, like, ways to just, like, embarrass my family and sisters. I would be, like, pulling my pants, having my pants fall down to my knees, and just, like, fake falling in stores, having my ass shoot up to the air, and they would all take off running and just be like, oh, my gosh, dude. So it just like, kind of started like that. And then when vine came out, I'm like, I'm gonna do fake falls and get reactions. So it's just.

[Tammy]

Have you ever hurt yourself, like, fake falling? I would bust a tooth. I'm not that graceful. I would bust a tooth, my nose would break. Like, something would happen.

[Paige]

Yeah. I have a way to do it. But I did jump into a bush one time and got a little. Little sliver.

[Chelsea Lynn]

A little something.

[Tammy]

No, I think I've seen it. Was it a video that you posted one time and you got, like, a branch in your arm or something like that?

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah. I was like, when you see your ex boyfriend in public, and I ran and jumped in a bush, and when I landed on, I'm like, I swear I just broke my arm. And then the pain, like, went away. I pushed myself up. I was all on my phone, like, savage. Look down.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And a freaking branch inside her. Oh, it was my pants.

[Tammy]

Did you get stitches for that? Was that a whole thing?

[Paige]

Yeah, my friends, I'm like, don't call an ambulance. And then, hey, like, two seconds later.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, well, y' all will have to see the picture.

[Tammy]

You don't want to lose your arm, you know, doing skits like that because you need your arm to land whenever you fall.

[Paige]

My neck.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, stop.

[Paige]

That would have been a goner.

[Tammy]

Oh, God.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Literally, that would have been. Literally. It was that bad.

[Tammy]

Who comes up with the skit ideas that you guys do? Is it like a mutual thing, like the.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Like the Big Gulp pranks and stuff like that?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Bunny]

Just all pretty mutual.

[Paige]

Yeah. Because we know, like, what I'd Doing what she does, and then it just.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We can collaborate and it just vibes.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Well, we haven't been able to do anything, really, since the pandemic, because even if we go out and do it with the mask on.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You know, it's crazy.

[Tammy]

And everybody's a. Just a Internet troll.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Everybody's the mask, please.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Just so upset about anybody. If you laugh online right now, it's like, we're going through the Great Depression or something. You're not allowed to have fun at all.

[Paige]

People are like, how are you guys posting when so much is going on in the world?

[Tammy]

Yeah, it's like we just want to sit around and twiddle our thumbs and be depressed. Like we're here to make you guys laugh and entertain you. That's what we're here for.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Right. But we, you know, when things open back up, we're going hard.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We've got a bunch of. A bunch of ideas.

[Tammy]

I'm really excited about that.

[Paige]

Yeah, it's like, how can we incorporate what we're doing now? Like, I want to think of ideas.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Literally we'll just kind of sit around and think. Or like she'll text me and be like, hey, we should do that. You know, we kind of write everything down. Yeah, I forget.

[Tammy]

Yes. That's what I have to do too.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes. I write every idea down. Like skit idea, one liner idea, prank, everything. My notes.

[Paige]

Anything that comes to your brain that's gone.

[Tammy]

I would, I would love to be a fly on the notes in you guys phones. I bet I met you at.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Do you ever go through your notes and you're like, what the is this? What was I thinking? That's me, dude.

[Tammy]

I'll. I'll Message Mimi at 3 o' clock in the morning with like a whole skit or hair brain idea. Or like, hey, we're waking up up and recording a song in the morning. And she just wakes up, she's like, okay, let me get it scheduled, you know? And I'm just like, yeah, no, it's like, it's. The notes are just non stop always. And I feel like in the middle of the night is when I get my most creative. Or at least I think I'm creative. And then I read it the next morning and I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. What was it like? What's it like being with Chelsea?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Be honest. Look at him.

[Tammy]

Okay. How long have you guys been together?

[Chelsea Lynn]

I think that all of us. 15 years.

[Greg]

Yeah, 15 years. Yeah, since 05.

[Tammy]

That's admirable.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, we get really admirable these days. Well, it won't last much longer. I'm just kidding. Stop it. I'm just kidding.

[Greg]

Prenup. We got married in 2009.

[Chelsea Lynn]

What's it like being with me? She don't want timeline.

[Greg]

It's great.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's great.

[Greg]

No, it's great being with her. She's awesome.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And I'm like, say what's Great about me. Don't give her a timeline.

[Tammy]

Hold on. She turned into Tammy real quick. Now we know where Tammy comes from.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's what Greg says.

[Greg]

There ain't a whole lot of separation. I know where the fucking character comes from.

[Tammy]

Oh yeah, for sure.

[Greg]

She gets irritated with me.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

But isn't that amazing that that became Internet gold? Just. You inspired that.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Insane.

[Greg]

I'll take all the credit.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Thanks.

[Greg]

Yeah, she's all a talent. But you gotta give me some credit, right.

[Tammy]

For pissing her off. What is it like traveling? Cause I know Jay and I, we've been on the road now for five years. Whenever we do tour and we've gotten. You have to seriously respect each other's space, especially being together all the time. Are you guys. Do you guys respect each other's space or do you have to turn into Tammy on them?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Greg really doesn't travel with me, cuz he still. He works, you know, regular job.

[Tammy]

You're like a scientist or something, right? I forgot what it was. Yeah.

[Greg]

Electrical engineer.

[Tammy]

Yeah, yeah. Like something like.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, he still works. And I. People will message me all the time and they're like, you know, it sucks that Greg's back home. I bet you miss him. I'm like, part of me does, but I love the time. I love it.

[Tammy]

I'm the same way.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And I tell him that all the time.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And there's nothing wrong with that.

[Tammy]

She's like, I make sure he knows it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I make sure he knows. I don't miss it.

[Greg]

At first. You can hurt your feelings. But then I understand where it's coming from.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Like, because he's a little.

[Greg]

A long time. And we've done the long distance relationship multiple times.

[Tammy]

No. And I really feel like, dude, when Jay's on tour, like, he'll. He'll leave for like three months at a time. He wants me to be there all the time. And I'm like, baby, I'll do two weeks on and a couple weeks off. Because it's like, you want that. You know, absence makes the heart grow faster. It really does work. These couples that are always up each other's asses. I don't know how they do it. That's not my thought.

[Paige]

Me and Brett are always together and when we go on girls trips and stuff or, you know, it's nice.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's nice.

[Paige]

Like, it's nice to miss.

[Tammy]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But I think what a lot of people forget when they're in relationships is they. They morph into one person and they don't keep their Two separate personalities. And that's where I think a lot of problems, you know, come involved, which I think is really cool that you've managed to maintain not being Mr. Trailer Trash Tammy. And you have your own thing going on too. You know, that's how. That's. That's how Jay and I have had to do it. And. And, you know, it's been a struggle, but I refuse to be Mrs. Jelly Roll. I am my own person, and he's his own person. So you got a new car.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, big mama.

[Tammy]

What is it?

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's a 1978 Lincoln Town Car, baby blue.

[Tammy]

Are you gonna put suicide doors on it?

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm gonna keep it. It is pristine.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay. It set in the garage for 40 years. They put an average of 500 miles on it.

[Tammy]

Wow.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It was custom made in 78. It is. When I say pristine.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm not touching a thing.

[Tammy]

Oh, you're just leaving it originally.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And it's gonna be. It's my daily driver.

[Tammy]

Oh, my God.

[Paige]

The seats are huge.

[Tammy]

And just like, it's luxury, baby.

[Greg]

It's got every option. It's. We got the build sheet for it.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Greg]

We have whatever was done to the car by the previous.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Every oil change receipt for 40 years.

[Tammy]

Wow.

[Chelsea Lynn]

How old.

[Tammy]

How old were the people that you bought it from? Just an older couple, 60s.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He was 98. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tammy]

Why do the older people take such good care of their cars?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And that's been. That's been probably my. One of my dream cars.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Since high school. And how I was. Wasn't even in the market for one.

[Tammy]

Right.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Here's how it happened, people. My audience knows I love that type, those type of cars. And someone had DM'd me a link. I live in Escondido, California, outside of San Diego. She had DM'd me a link. And she was like, hey, I live in Escondido, and I just saw this cars for sale on Facebook market, and it was a brown one.

[Tammy]

Oh, I thought, oh, that's cool.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So I get on there, I start looking and I saw it and I was like, baby, I'm about to buy a car. And he was like, are you sure? I was like, yeah, I'm gonna buy it.

[Tammy]

Oh, my God. That is so amazing though.

[Greg]

We drove over there to get it and we asked, you know, took it for a test drive. He goes, what we're doing is until tomorrow, we're taking offers on the car.

[Chelsea Lynn]

A car club was selling it, so we had to, like, bid it was a bidding war.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Greg]

It was donated to.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And I won. Yeah.

[Greg]

Yes, she did.

[Paige]

I got Big mama.

[Greg]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

I love that for you guys. That makes me so happy. Jay literally just bought a Cadillac. I don't know the. The brand name and older and oldest and you'll have to ask him about it whenever we go downstairs. I. I was just like, you know what? Buy it because what color my car? It's blue. No, he just got it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Literally, like I said, I haven't seen it.

[Tammy]

No, no, he just got it. So whenever we go downstairs, have him show it to you because it's like his pride and joy. And I looked at it and I was like, this looks like an old pimps car.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Car. Yeah.

[Tammy]

I was like, what?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

I'm just like, what in the hell are we doing with this? But whatever, dude.

[Paige]

It's her daily driver and it's so long, so we're like, I hope it can make it through a drive.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Feels like you're driving a boat and.

[Tammy]

But it's like it has that wheel.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Though, so the wheel is so thin and you know that. Oh, it is. It drops like butter. I mean, it just love it. I'm getting horny.

[Tammy]

Well, whenever I come to Cali, I want to go.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes.

[Tammy]

I want to go for spin.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. All right.

[Tammy]

Maybe take a naked picture for only fans on there. Yes. I spread my holes right on there.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh. Oh. Yes.

[Bunny]

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[Chelsea Lynn]

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members. Fdic Spot me. Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file fees. Apply it out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs. According to US News and World Report, 2023. Chime checking account required.

[Tammy]

So let's talk about Jen. You can fart on cue. Kind of. Or. What is this that I'm hearing about you?

[Paige]

Well, kinda.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Let me see if I got one.

[Paige]

I do gotta poop right now, but I couldn't. I know you guys wanted to, like, maybe do a fart today.

[Tammy]

Yes.

[Paige]

But I could not find the powder.

[Tammy]

Oh, no. We have powder here for you. So the reason. The reason. I don't know. Listen, we. My team comes prepared, so what we wanted.

[Paige]

Did you get that? Did you get the pure color?

[Tammy]

So, well, what we wanted to do was we wanted to have you fart certain types of powders, and Chelsea has to guess what the powder is that you're farting.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Paige]

I fart cocaine. She's like, okay.

[Tammy]

Is that something that you're open to?

[Chelsea Lynn]

We should have went and had Mexican food.

[Tammy]

Damn it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Well, do you feel like you got any in you?

[Paige]

Yeah, I. I did not take a poop today, which I usually do at the start of the morning. I was a little thrown off, but it could still happen.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Paige]

Like, were we gonna do it, like, now?

[Tammy]

Yep, we'll do it now. That'll be the last and the. And we figured that the prize will be Jay gets to sign your titties.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Okay. I mean, listen, he'll sign those, too. He loves all titties, so he doesn't discriminate Yeah, I know. My husband is just like, let's. Let's go. Titties.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Big or small? Save them.

[Tammy]

All right. Exactly. The only way we turn them down is face down. So that's how it goes around this house. All right, so what do we need to do to get you prepared to do this? We were gonna have you lay across this table right here.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

And then what we'll do is we'll have. What are. How are we gonna do those memes? Okay, we're gonna cut. We'll be right back. All right, guys, we are back. We are. We have Paige ready to roll. And so what we're going to be doing is Chelsea is going to be guessing the substance out of. Of Paige's fluffs. And then when Chelsea. If Chelsea gets them right, Jelly gets to sign her titties. So I think it's a fair trade.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Are you excited about this? Did you ever think your life would come in. I'm scared.

[Paige]

Ten years ago, what was I doing?

[Tammy]

I would not this. Hey, baby.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Hey. Scared me.

[Tammy]

No, you can't look at the. The powder that's in there, because then it'll give it away. Okay, so we know the. The name of the game is, you gotta guess what's engine? Paige's hole.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Tammy]

She's like, I've been here before.

[Paige]

Hold on.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm out of breath. I just walked.

[Tammy]

We just ate so much food, too. So you literally are probably going to your pants right now. Well, you don't have any pants on. You're going to the table.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So when she farts, I have to look at it and see what it was?

[Tammy]

Yes. Maybe even smell the air.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Shut up.

[Paige]

Shut the hell up. You got to lick it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay, I'm ready when you are.

[Paige]

What do we do? Should we just talk till I get something done?

[Tammy]

I mean, we can. So when you guys were doing the baby shower thing, gender reveal. How hilarious was that? Did you guys think it was going to go as viral as it did.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And I knew it. And I told her.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I go get ready.

[Paige]

I think I got it.

[Tammy]

Oh.

[Paige]

Oh. Did it go out?

[Tammy]

Very.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I barely saw.

[Paige]

I think it's so heavy, that. Hold on. I got to get a powerful one. If that's the case.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Hold on. Okay.

[Tammy]

Okay. So. Okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes. So she came to me and she goes, I've had this idea for, like. Like, two years. I just haven't. You know. And she told me. I was like, we're doing it.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Today.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And as soon as we filmed it I literally go get ready. Okay. Because we're going viral. Yeah, we're going viral. She's like, you think? I go, hey, this is gonna be yes, dude.

[Tammy]

I laugh so hard. But I think the. The second one you guys did was even funnier because you were dying so hard that it made me die. Like, it was just so funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And she wanted to redo it. She wanted to actually do. And I said, this will get more love than anything will.

[Tammy]

No, it was so funny. I was literally just cracking up. I was like, these chicks are so funny, dude.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Cuz we were trying to be serious and I just couldn't.

[Tammy]

Dude. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Watching it speed, watching it fly out of her butthole, I could not lie.

[Tammy]

That's a talent. When did you discover that you could put on your butthole and just air it out like that?

[Chelsea Lynn]

The gender reveal.

[Tammy]

Oh, that was the first time.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

You'd never farted on camera prior to that?

[Paige]

Well, I farted on my brother in law's head.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Like, you must shoot this up there.

[Tammy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. There we go.

[Paige]

Yeah. So I. Oh. So I farted on my brother in law's head a couple years ago.

[Chelsea Lynn]

But in terms of powders. Yeah.

[Paige]

But from then on, that fart like anything I post, people are like, where's the fort? And I'm like, can I live? You know?

[Tammy]

Do you feel like you kind of pigeoned yourself in a hole doing that?

[Paige]

Yeah. So now it's like falls and farts.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Do you need some sort of like massage lower back?

[Paige]

No, Maybe just the. The drink. My drink over in the windowsill.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Paige]

On that side.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Is that it or is that it?

[Paige]

Yeah, that other one.

[Tammy]

Can you make yourself fart? Is that what it is? Or do you have to just.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I could fart right now.

[Tammy]

I would love to hear you fart right now.

[Paige]

Get some.

[Tammy]

Give a minute.

[Paige]

Get the mic. Fart in the mic.

[Tammy]

Oh, garden it down.

[Paige]

It's going to stink.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Be so. Look at these dudes.

[Tammy]

You guys, this is awesome. Chelsea is about to bless us with her flatulence. That's what it's called, right? Flatulence.

[Paige]

That was a good one, dude.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That one was great, huh?

[Tammy]

Listen, your little cheeks are tight. I was just about to say that because my husband farts all the time and his little cheeks are so tight. I just. I love it. I love when he.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That one felt good.

[Tammy]

We should fart. It sounds like Foghorn Leghorn. Like it's like so deep and has.

[Paige]

Baritones like that in her ass.

[Tammy]

No, no, not right now. I got Jellyfish. You guys will be, like, running for cover. Like red slimers hitting the windows, and it'll be terrible. So you guys do a lot of. With Lena Bryan, too.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, I love her.

[Tammy]

She. I've never met her, but, dude, I love when you guys do stuff together.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She.

[Tammy]

I never thought she was new. Let me rephrase that. I never knew she. She was that funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, yeah. She's even funnier in person because she has to keep a lot of stuff on.

[Tammy]

Off social media because the music row.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, yeah. You know, like, we filmed a couple things and she was like, oh, we can't post. You know, so I get it. The great thing about what I do and what we do. And I can post anything I want.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You know, as a comedian. And I can get away with it, you know, to where a lot of people can't. Right?

[Tammy]

No, no, no. I was looking over there. I was making sure she was okay.

[Paige]

Well, yeah, you know, I just chill for a second, get relaxed and something.

[Tammy]

Yeah, get that.

[Paige]

When I was getting a massage earlier, I almost farted on her.

[Tammy]

Because you were relaxed?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Do we need to have Brett come in here and give her a massage?

[Chelsea Lynn]

No.

[Paige]

That Brett. No, no, no.

[Tammy]

He's the worst.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Can we talk about how you milked his prostate real quick?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Talk about that?

[Paige]

Yeah. I just stuck my finger in his butthole and so.

[Tammy]

Wait, you didn't know you were milking his prostate?

[Paige]

No.

[Tammy]

You were just.

[Paige]

I never.

[Tammy]

Ramming them with your finger. Just for fun.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

You know, just sometimes you just slip a finger and just.

[Tammy]

I try. My husband will not let me. I really try.

[Paige]

If your man jealous and he lets you slip a little finger in, you might milk his prostate. So how we found out is Brett had a little bit of, like, powder almost spew out and kind of like what you do.

[Tammy]

That is.

[Paige]

Yeah. What the hell was that?

[Tammy]

It was like. It was like.

[Chelsea Lynn]

How did powder come out when a butthole is so moist?

[Tammy]

Moist? I don't. Well, it sounds to me like his pipes were clogged, maybe.

[Paige]

No, it doesn't come out of his ass.

[Chelsea Lynn]

What's it come? Well, inside? The body's moist anywhere.

[Tammy]

Right, right, right, right.

[Paige]

Well, not straight, but it was like, foamy. Like, not. Not semen.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And he's not semen.

[Paige]

And he was still.

[Tammy]

It was like the top. It was frothy.

[Paige]

Yeah, it was very, very frothy.

[Tammy]

Like, when you're making a super souffle, you know how the eggs get all, like, frothy?

[Paige]

Yeah. We put designs in it. Made a little heart like coffee drink. And then he's like, I still have to come. And I was like, you didn't just come.

[Tammy]

And then it might have been pre come. That might have been pre ejaculation.

[Paige]

Actually, it was something he. He screamed at the top of his.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He went.

[Tammy]

And I was like, oh, Chachi. No.

[Paige]

He said it felt so good.

[Chelsea Lynn]

See, I'm not. I would never mess with the dude's butthole.

[Tammy]

No. Well, see, I have in the past. I've just like, okay, so one of my dude. My exes cheated on me, and I was like, you know what? How can I get this guy back? I was like, I'm gonna him in his ass. So I did and told everybody about it. I broke up with him after. After I found out he cheated on me. Him in his ass. He was backing into the pink hard dildo. It wasn't a soft one. It was a hard one. He was just like, like, just, like, getting it, dude. And I told. I broke. I broke up with him, left him and told everybody.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Hell yeah.

[Tammy]

That was like my revenge.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Whoa.

[Tammy]

I don't just go around trying to random dudes.

[Paige]

And now you're here just telling everybody.

[Tammy]

Oh, I. Oh, I have put him on. Listen, they should have never gave me a podcast.

[Paige]

Okay, you put everyone.

[Tammy]

Nobody. Nobody from my past has been safe on this podcast ever.

[Paige]

Don't. With Bunny.

[Tammy]

We need to. We need to make that a clip.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Exactly.

[Paige]

Something's brewing, guys. I'm sorry.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I was about to say. So you got a fart or.

[Paige]

I didn't know it was actually gonna happen.

[Chelsea Lynn]

All right, you ready?

[Paige]

Does this need to be by me?

[Tammy]

Let me give it a fresh maybe. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay. Okay.

[Tammy]

Okay. Turn your head. Yep. You gotta close the eyes. Can't tell. Is it too heavy, though?

[Chelsea Lynn]

I don't think so.

[Tammy]

Okay, but now it's definitely moist. Oh, for sure. You're definitely going home with a yeasty beast.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Is it powdered?

[Tammy]

Yeah, it's all powders that you have to guess that are coming out of her hole.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Not powders that could come out of the kitchen out of a craft.

[Tammy]

I mean, they're everywhere you can look now. They're everywhere.

[Paige]

It's common. I swear.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You and Chachi are doing the exact same thing.

[Paige]

I know. And I looked down like this and noticed Chachi's bottle.

[Tammy]

Chachi wants to get in his house. But back to the Lena Bryant thing.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, yeah.

[Tammy]

The. His mom obsessed. Is she not the sweetest thing ever?

[Chelsea Lynn]

She's a badass, dude.

[Tammy]

So dope. Yeah, Like, I want her to be my mom.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes, I know.

[Tammy]

Adopt me, please.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know. Well, you saw the video we did, the prank on Luke Bryant.

[Tammy]

Yes.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And that ma. Did you see when she, like, literally whipped out her stick and threw it and she was gonna whoop my ass, dude.

[Tammy]

No, she wasn't playing. She's got fire in her belly.

[Chelsea Lynn]

The best.

[Tammy]

No, she's so awesome. Dude, have you. Have you seen Luke's mom? She is so funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, she is just the same in person. Oh, yeah.

[Tammy]

I love old people.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Like, yeah.

[Tammy]

Just, like, so genuine and just, like, legit. Just the type of people that are on screen is the same way off screen.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I feel that. I feel like we're gonna be. Oh, cool ass old people, dude.

[Tammy]

I am scared for the generation below us because we're, like, gonna be the ultimate. Like, you're gonna have to achieve.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes.

[Tammy]

Ultimate goddessness to get on our level. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I could probably fart again.

[Paige]

Dude, we need powder.

[Tammy]

All right, so should we put the powder in Chelsea's butthole?

[Paige]

I might. My pants.

[Chelsea Lynn]

If comes out. We're good.

[Tammy]

Yeah, we love.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's.

[Tammy]

You're good.

[Paige]

Okay. As long as I don't.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You want to try to go. No, you're trying to squeeze.

[Paige]

Try to squeeze my turd.

[Tammy]

Do you want to pinch a fart?

[Paige]

Oh, no. You guys just.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Here's what I've noticed about. Here's what I've noticed about Paige. Yeah, it's like her farts get scared when she's under pressure.

[Tammy]

Oh, gotcha.

[Paige]

Well, gender reveal. It took 20 seconds.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That was.

[Tammy]

Oh, yeah, it was locked and loaded.

[Paige]

But I prepared for that one.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

This one I was. I didn't think it was gonna happen because I couldn't find powder.

[Tammy]

Well, can we just talk about what a nice ass you have, though?

[Chelsea Lynn]

The best.

[Tammy]

Oh, and that's another thing. We were checking out her Instagram earlier today, and she's like a little model. Like, when she really wants to pose and turn it on. Like, you. You're like a little ig thought.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I've always said that.

[Tammy]

You're like, I love that.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That I've always said that about her.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Paige]

People come and do her hair and makeup and make us look like women.

[Tammy]

But your poses are just so natural. Oh, and like, she'll, like, just stick a little butt out. And, like, just having a photo shoot.

[Chelsea Lynn]

With her, it's like, right, Beth? She's like, literally a model.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Paige]

People always ask, are you in a model? I'm like, huh, Huh.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I fart for a Living.

[Paige]

Yeah. I just have never thought I'd get a set question.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, dude.

[Paige]

Like now that. That like weird people are like the new.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like trend.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Weird looking humans and I'm in that category so it just kind of goes, you're.

[Tammy]

Dude, you're beautiful. Everybody's beautiful in their own way.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, you're beautiful, dude. But I definitely see what you mean. Like a unique. Weird.

[Paige]

Like.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes.

[Tammy]

Yeah. But I think it's cool that you don't look like everybody else.

[Chelsea Lynn]

For real.

[Tammy]

You know, like how many blondes with big tits are on Instagram? A lot. But they're like, you are. Set aside from it, you don't blend in.

[Chelsea Lynn]

And no one knows you're half Chinese. Nobody ever guessed.

[Tammy]

That's crazy. I can see half white, half Chinese. I can definitely see it.

[Paige]

When she did my makeup, I was like, oh, oh, yeah. I'm wearing about 12 inch shoes. But.

[Tammy]

But like for an Asian, like, you're tall.

[Paige]

I'm the tallest of my fam.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I didn't know that. Are they all short?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Have you got to meet her family yet?

[Chelsea Lynn]

I've met. At most. Well, some. Yeah.

[Tammy]

Yeah. Dude, they just love you.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh my God. Like, they're my. Yes.

[Tammy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paige]

They're all just.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So accepting and.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I love that.

[Paige]

Like Beth, her sister showed my dad her tits and my dad said thank.

[Tammy]

You as soon as I met him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

She said as soon as her dad is her dad. Oh my God, I miss him. He goes, he used to be a song science teacher. High school science teacher for like forever. Yeah. He was telling me about it. He was like, all. All the girls used to want to me. That's what he told me.

[Paige]

What the.

[Tammy]

I love him.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Paige]

And he's like 76.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He's like.

[Tammy]

Yeah, that's like my dad.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. A 76 year old Asian. Like all they all wanted to me all the time. He was being dead serious.

[Paige]

Dude, I'm not kidding. A turd might come out because I keep pushing.

[Tammy]

I just keep seeing the powder clumping up in there. I mean, how wet is your butthole is what I want to know.

[Paige]

Well, it's probably turd.

[Chelsea Lynn]

What if we. What if you kind of spread it a little bit and Beth blew on it?

[Paige]

Fart.

[Tammy]

We'll get one of those out. We'll get. Don't. No pressure.

[Paige]

But I'm like, should I.

[Tammy]

Let's talk about your calendars really quick too because we didn't touch base on those there was what, 80 more titty in this one?

[Chelsea Lynn]

40.

[Tammy]

40. I was. I loved the tit.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Next year will probably be 80.

[Tammy]

When are you going to show the hoo? Ha.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, you don't want to see that.

[Tammy]

I do. Let's show her a pic. I definitely do.

[Paige]

She has a really good vagina.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Thank you.

[Paige]

It's not.

[Tammy]

I bet.

[Paige]

It's just like.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Describe it.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Tammy]

So she's got me two lips. Enough about you. Let's talk about me.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Describe my. I'm just kidding.

[Tammy]

No, I want to hear. No, please.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay, go ahead.

[Paige]

Well, it is. I would say it is a little tanner.

[Tammy]

It doesn't look like a stingray, right? No. Huh.

[Paige]

Actually, now that you say it's a lot tanner. I was. Yeah, a lot tanner than I thought. But I thought it was gonna be like, kind of real spiffy, and it was actually not.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Paige]

She showed us on the tour bus the other day. She laid on her back. Spread it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. And Brett said that I just want people to see.

[Tammy]

I. When am I invited to the pussy?

[Chelsea Lynn]

We're like the weird. We're like the weird, weirdest group of friends. We like show each other a butthole.

[Tammy]

I want to see everybody naked. It's my thing. That's what only fans is like, my play. Yeah. Any girls that come on the podcast, I'm like, subscribe.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

The same thing to me. And we buy each other's content and we're like dogs. We all want to sniff each other's assholes.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Get them going.

[Paige]

You know, I'm always curious, like, how, like, any guy I meet, I'm like, how big says dick? It doesn't matter if he's like a 90 year old man or whatever. I'm just like, did you think about.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It with those two dudes?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Already.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

She goes, oh, I'm more curious about women. I. I'm not. I think. I think dicks are ugly.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Oh, I think are pretty. I think dicks are just like. They're just.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

No, I think they're both. They're like the porpoise of sexual. Just, you know, like, I just. There's nothing cool about them. They all look the same. Except some have a little more of a curve.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yep.

[Tammy]

Some are shorter, some are fatter, some are longer, some are lumpy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yep.

[Paige]

But that's what I need to know.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's what I need to know.

[Tammy]

You haven't seen enough in your life then? Is that what we're saying? Is that what's going on here?

[Paige]

Well, they've all been like, pretty decent. But I want to see like I have seen a one tiny one. Just I didn't do anything to it. But we've all made them show us in their room in Vegas. But now I'm just where the weird happens, you know?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paige]

Like, yeah, Just I want to see.

[Tammy]

So back to the calendar. We're not going to get to see that beautiful post.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Cuz I really want to keep it funny.

[Tammy]

I feel like they need to have you in Playboy. Well, that would be iconic.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Af I would do that.

[Tammy]

That would be so cool.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, Yeah. I feel like. Okay. A lot of people are like, why don't you show your ass first off, I don't have that great of an ass. But you know, like, everybody been overlooking.

[Tammy]

Looks good though, baby.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's true. If I get that.

[Tammy]

Teach you some posts.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. Dead serious. Next year I'm gonna put ass in it. Yay. Yeah, but I feel like when I do the tits as Tammy, it's just funny. And I feel like showing my ass is more like. I feel more. I mean, I'll flash titties, nothing, but I feel like if I show my ass, it's more like exposed. I'm more like, oh, no.

[Tammy]

You know, it's different other regions. Yeah, it's different. It's more like.

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah, I'm the opposite. I feel like showing my ass is not a big deal, but if I show my tits a little bit.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, complete opposite for me.

[Paige]

Still show every.

[Tammy]

It's probably because you don't. You don't take this the wrong way, but you have smaller boobs. So all your life you've probably been a little insecure about them. So you showed your ass more. You know, whereas Tammy, Chelsea's had bigger boobs, so she's shown her tits more.

[Paige]

Yeah, I'm not even insecure about my tits. Like, that might have been the wrong word for it everybody, but. But I just, I don't know. Just. Yeah, I've always mooned everyone.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Because you have a great ass.

[Tammy]

Yeah, she does have a great.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm not showing nobody this ass.

[Paige]

And just like, even before like volleyball games and I'd like hike my like, hell yeah. Spandex up my ass.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I played volleyball. Yeah, that you pulled down your pants and someone came out the front door.

[Paige]

Oh, I put happy birthday, grandma. Because it was my grandma his birthday.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Holy.

[Paige]

Dude, I made Brett write that on my butt.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Holy moly.

[Tammy]

All right, so are we gonna have Beth blowing your. Is that what we're Gonna do?

[Paige]

Well, I just tried to fart again and I turtlenecked.

[Chelsea Lynn]

So we're gonna.

[Paige]

Do you think if I took out a. Go in and took a. And came back?

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, cuz all the farts would. All the farts would be with the.

[Tammy]

You think it's a family?

[Paige]

Yeah, I really fart when I.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It.

[Tammy]

It's a family affair.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It comes out. You just don't know it.

[Tammy]

I think Beth blowing is just as good. I'm sorry you got signed up for this bed.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I don't think the people watching will be disappointed.

[Tammy]

No, not at all. And then you can still waft in the fumes and figure it out. Yeah, I think so.

[Paige]

Okay, then I'll go. Can I go take a little dirt dookie and then come back on top of your button and then we can switch up the flavors.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Flavors?

[Paige]

Because that first. First fart came out and it looked.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Like white powder, but I'm not positive it was.

[Paige]

It was so packed in that it couldn't even get out.

[Tammy]

Okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay. All right. All right, I'm ready.

[Tammy]

We're gonna take a. Are we gonna. Oh, are we blowing first? Are you gonna blow? Let her blow.

[Paige]

First one.

[Tammy]

Okay. Yeah, gotcha.

[Paige]

And then the second one, I'll fart it out for sure.

[Tammy]

Okay, gotcha.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You get in the middle and you just kind of spread and Beth, you just blow.

[Tammy]

All right, here we go. All right, Chelsea, what do you think the powder is?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay, I'm ready.

[Tammy]

Here we go. It's so lumpy.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's chunky.

[Tammy]

Oh, God.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I was not expecting chunks. Is it chalk?

[Tammy]

No.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Come lean in. Oh, I gotta smell it. Great.

[Tammy]

Why was it so chunky?

[Paige]

Did I touch that? Chunk it? Lick it?

[Tammy]

No, I eat it. I can't believe our. That wet ranch dressing.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Nice. Nice.

[Paige]

Do you understand why it didn't come out?

[Tammy]

Dude, we just talk about how lumpy it was.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That was. That was disgusting. The. Seeing the lumps got me. Got me.

[Tammy]

Funny, dude, but can we just talk about how good of a friend you are? You just go and pick it up. Ranch.

[Paige]

Oh, you've got my butt juices in your face.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, dude.

[Tammy]

How wet is your. That. It made that lumpy.

[Paige]

Let me go check that out.

[Chelsea Lynn]

You got a moisture.

[Tammy]

Okay, Definitely. Well lit.

[Paige]

Sometimes. Well, hold on one second. My. If Brett dumps a load in me, it doesn't come out right away. It takes about a couple like a week.

[Tammy]

A week?

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's insane. No, mine dumps right out right away.

[Paige]

Well, we have sex almost like, you.

[Tammy]

Know, it's just Brett secretly packing heat.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I've seen his winner.

[Paige]

He's great.

[Chelsea Lynn]

He's good. Average head is way bigger than his shaft. Shaft, wow. I've never seen a head to shaft ratio like that. It's wild.

[Tammy]

Like a hammerhead.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It's wild to see.

[Paige]

Well, it hits that spot.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like it's the first man who can make me orgasm just vaginally.

[Tammy]

Go, Brett, go. That was.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Go, Brett.

[Tammy]

That was. Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm so happy to listen to this right now.

[Tammy]

All the ladies are gonna be in the dm.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know, Brad. We want to see that big head.

[Paige]

Hey, Brett, can we see your hammerhead?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Post it to your only fans.

[Paige]

I will be back up. Okay.

[Tammy]

All right.

[Chelsea Lynn]

All right.

[Tammy]

We'll be right back, guys.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Not looking.

[Tammy]

All right, here we go.

[Paige]

Oh, gosh.

[Tammy]

You're okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's great. I don't know.

[Tammy]

Let's do dude in here all the time. No. Well, we're normally here during the day, so I don't think anybody's over there, though, so don't worry about it. And if they are, who cares? They're enjoying it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's what I'm saying.

[Tammy]

All right, you got to turn your head. Turn your head. Here we go. We're going in.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Wipe the hole first.

[Tammy]

Yeah, because that shit's wet. No, Beth is amazing. Like, she.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Beth comes through, dude.

[Tammy]

She's amazing. When's Beth's birthday?

[Chelsea Lynn]

November 29th.

[Tammy]

Oh, you're sad. It's like my hubby.

[Paige]

How do you know all of these signs?

[Tammy]

I just study people. I love people. I love people, so I like to just study what they are.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Okay, that should be perfect. All right, here we go. I feel like I can already see it clumping.

[Paige]

Can you fart? Get in my hole immediately.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay, I'm ready for it.

[Tammy]

If not, Beth will blow. We know Beth can blow. Beth Blue. That's a good porn name. Beth Blue. That's a good porn name. Like, porn star name.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Beth Blue.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, it is.

[Tammy]

B, L E W Blue.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah. Okay.

[Tammy]

All right, we ready?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay, she's blowing.

[Tammy]

All right, we're going to blow. Here we go.

[Paige]

I think a fart, though, would just be so good.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay. It would.

[Tammy]

It's okay. Blowing is just as funny.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It is.

[Tammy]

Here we go. Okay. Yes. She looks like a little.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I can see it.

[Tammy]

She looks like a little turkey right here.

[Chelsea Lynn]

All right. Come on. Okay, Chunks. Is it blue?

[Tammy]

It's. It might have a little color to it.

[Paige]

Let's go smell it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It looks like salt.

[Tammy]

Just smell it. I think if you sniffed her you would know and smell.

[Paige]

Taste it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Here we go. Sugar.

[Tammy]

It's a form of sugar mixed with something.

[Chelsea Lynn]

God.

[Paige]

Come get close.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Jesus. Oh, my God.

[Paige]

What does it look like?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay, it's sugar.

[Tammy]

Sniff it. Sniff it, Chelsea. Just take a big whiff. I can't.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I can't.

[Tammy]

It smells delicious.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, God. I see the wetness in there. Here. Here's something that. Here.

[Tammy]

Oh, I don't smell nothing. All right, we'll give you a hint. You drank it a lot as a child.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Kool Aid.

[Tammy]

Yes, ma' am. Yeah, no, I was gonna say Koolaid.

[Chelsea Lynn]

At first, but it looked. The crystals looked big.

[Tammy]

Yeah, I mean, she is. Something's going on in that app. The heat. I don't know what's going on, but it is. Yeah, it's literally forming everything.

[Chelsea Lynn]

That's what I thought at first.

[Tammy]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Tammy]

Okay, so you're. You're two for. You're two for two right now.

[Paige]

So we're gonna do this in somebody else's and see if it clumps up like this to see how normal.

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, you got a moist.

[Paige]

Nobody else's is like this.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I mean, I could see it glistening when I spread it.

[Tammy]

For real?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Well, it did just get really wet.

[Tammy]

All right, let's do one more. Was that a fart?

[Chelsea Lynn]

No, that was. Oh, Chachi went nuts.

[Paige]

Gino, you okay?

[Tammy]

He doesn't know what's going on.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I'm ready for another. Another powder.

[Tammy]

We got the lap. We're gonna do one more. All right. She went and wiped her. Her little hole because the Kool Aid was singeing her little hole hole. And now look, Josh is like. What is going on here? Josh is trying to figure it out.

[Chelsea Lynn]

I know, dude. They're just, like, sitting there.

[Tammy]

Deaf's had worse days. All right, ready?

[Chelsea Lynn]

All right.

[Tammy]

All right. Well, here we go.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Is it in?

[Tammy]

No, no, not yet. That's what she said. That's what he said. Okay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Fuck.

[Tammy]

All right, it's in.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Ready?

[Tammy]

We're ready.

[Chelsea Lynn]

We gonna blow or we're gonna blow and try to fart?

[Paige]

It's up to you guys.

[Tammy]

I mean, if you can fart. Let's go. We're ready. It's charged.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, it's blah.

[Tammy]

All right, we're gonna blow.

[Bunny]

Well, leaning close there.

[Tammy]

She blows.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah, you gotta.

[Tammy]

You're gonna have to really waft in this one.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Really?

[Tammy]

Yeah, wafting. Remember, waft.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Okay.

[Tammy]

Ready, set. Oh, no, it blew down. Oh. All right, hold on. You gotta turn. Maybe put it up towards the crack and not so much. The hole. Right? Okay, here we go.

[Paige]

One, two.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Cocoa powder?

[Tammy]

No, but it is a spice. I can smell it from here. You're on the right nutmeg. Yes.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

She got it, baby. Yay.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Oh, yeah. Now I'm getting the.

[Tammy]

Now you can smell it. Yeah. Yes, baby.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yeah.

[Tammy]

Yeah, baby. Well, Jelly gets to sign your titties.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It. Let's do it.

[Tammy]

Are you excited about this or what?

[Chelsea Lynn]

Hell, yeah.

[Tammy]

All right, why don't you plug your socials, tell everybody where they can find you.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yes. Everybody go. Follow me.

[Paige]

Welcome back to 97.3.

[Chelsea Lynn]

It is Chelsea Lynn on everything. Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Chelsea Lynn.

[Tammy]

And then Trailer Trash Tammy also. And Trailer trash Tammy, which we didn't get to. We didn't hang out with Tammy today, but it's okay. We saw she tried to come out a little bit earlier, so that was good enough for us.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Next time, I'll do Full Blown tan.

[Tammy]

Love it. Love it. All right, Paige, go ahead, drop your socials. And you're. And you're selling your butthole coasters.

[Paige]

Yes. Hello. All my socials are Paige, gin, G I N N. And that's for Instagram. All of it.

[Tammy]

All of it.

[Chelsea Lynn]

All right.

[Paige]

Snapchat.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Yep.

[Tammy]

Awesome.

[Chelsea Lynn]

Thank you for having us.

[Tammy]

Thank you guys for coming. I love you guys so much. You guys are just my family. And I hope you guys guys don't mind because you're literally my sisters from other so I'm so happy to have you guys here.

[Paige]

And you're so pretty.

[Tammy]

I love you guys. Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Dumb Blonde. We will see you guys next week. Bye.