B (4:02)

Bunny.

A (4:14)

Is this thing on? What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today my girl Erica Mina is in the house, baby. Looking fly as ever, too.

B (4:27)

Thank you, babe. I was like, I'm seeing the baddest. I gotta come correct. And I don't do interviews. Yeah, I hate them because they end up being just clickbait people kind of, you know. Yeah, I don't know. Well, they never been like my friend.

A (4:40)

I feel like I've noticed you do a lot of interviews with men. They're never gonna give you a chance.

B (4:45)

You know what it is? When I first started in the very beginning, I to put myself out there, I was just doing like Vlad tv, like these weird little outlets in the beginning that social media wasn't that big, but I wanted people to kind of like dive into me. And it never turned out that way. So. So over the years I was just like, I'm just not gonna do. And plus I'm on reality tv, so it's like, what can I really say in an interview that you guys kind of don't see edited anyway on tv? So.

A (5:12)

Yeah.

B (5:12)

But yeah, I don't do interviews. But this one, I felt like I had to first of all, such a big like your whole journey, like, I know what's up with you.

A (5:24)

I appreciate it.

B (5:25)

I feel like we have a lot in common, too.

A (5:27)

Like, you're my buddy.

B (5:28)

Yeah, we talk. Like, we could go into it, but yeah, like, you definitely, like, we have, you know, that loss of a companion, you know, kind of story that we can compare and just. I just love how you just such a ride or die. You kind of own up to who you were, what you were, and kind of like, this is who I am now. And you just kind of taken people on your journey, and now they have no choice but to fudgeing, respect you for it. And I feel like it's so similar to, like, me. I kind of was that you deserve.

A (5:58)

Your flowers, and that's what I was telling you when you first. And thank you for that. I appreciate. Thank you for seeing me for who I am now and what. What I've been through and where I'm. I really appreciate that, and that means the world to me. But you also deserve your flowers because, girl, to be as relevant as you are in this world for as long as you have been, and you've literally clawed your way up. And we're going to get into your story because I'm sure a lot of people who listen to my podcast might not know your backstory and.

B (6:25)

Which is really why I wanted to do this more than ever. Like, new audience, new fresh minds. Like, people get to tap in and then they can kind of do their homework on everything else with me after. But, yeah, I've kind of been through a lot, girl, just out there for a long time.

A (6:41)

You have literally, you've been a video vixen, you've been a reality TV star. Now you're dabbling in music and becoming an actress. And it's like, it's just so inspiring to see somebody who's came from where you've come from also and pretty much were like, you know what? I'm a force to be reckoned with. Deal with it. And I love that about you. That's always been your attitude. You don't hide who you are. I love that you wear your heart on your sleeve.

B (7:07)

Thank you.

A (7:08)

I just feel like you're just human and if the world doesn't love you, they secretly fucking want to be you. Because literally, you, you.

B (7:18)

I never thought about it like that. I think this is, you know, I just was a wild puppy for so long when I started and I had no direction. I just knew I'm going to be this. No one may, like, not knowing how to do it or who I needed to do or how I needed to be. To do it. I was just like, this is what it is, and I'm gonna go for it.

A (7:38)

You grew up in front of the world. That's not easy. Literally, that's not easy to grow up. It's like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears. They all had cameras in their faces in the most pivotal years of their lives. And so did you. You know, like, you literally were a baby coming up, and every part of your life was documented. Nobody's going to know how to act in front of one. You said it. You hit the nail on the head. Nobody guides you. Nobody tells you, hey, maybe you shouldn't act like this, or, hey, you know.

B (8:08)

I had no management, no nothing. It was just kind of like, this is. And even with family members, like, no one knew what the hell I was doing. They just kind of.

A (8:16)

Well, in reality. Well, in reality, TV encourages bad behavior because that gets views.

B (8:21)

Oh, my God. And when I got into reality tv, I swore it was like wrestling. I did. I really, really did. I was like, okay, you just go in. Because I was casted to be the villain. You know, that was the conversation we had at the, you know, when I sat down to even start my reality journey. And I was just like, okay, cool, let's do it. So in my mind, I'm like, this is like wrestling. You go in, you, you know, you be the super villain, and you go home and you get to be yourself again. And it wasn't until, you know, I got my fair share of being aired that and the backlash that I got, I was like, oh, maybe it's not like wrestling necessarily. Point it was like, okay, this is. People are going to believe what they want to believe, so let me just do my job. And then as, you know, time went on, I realized, okay, they're. They're setting me up to kind of do certain things for what they need, right, to bring in ratings. How do I get control over this for myself so that I can kind of get control?

A (9:24)

Absolutely. And I was also going to say to one of your points is people think reality TV is real.

B (9:30)

You know, it is to a certain extent, but at the same time, it's not, because no one's going to really sit down, what a bitch that they don't like, right? And discuss why they don't like them.

A (9:38)

Right? And you guys get put in these scenarios. I'm sure there's alcohol on set. I'm sure there's people behind the scenes talking shit, putting shit in people's ears.

B (9:47)

The early years of Loving hip hop was literally. We pull up the set and the liquor was coming to the van.

A (9:53)

Yeah. See what I mean?

B (9:54)

Drink, open up the, you know, the cooler. And you had your poison of choice right then and there. So. Yeah, that's a good point.

A (10:02)

Absolutely.

B (10:03)

Set you up, they gear you up, they juice you up, give you up. And then production this. You know, the truth of how my production work, you sit in the van, you talk to your producer, and they kind of lay out what's gonna happen, what you're gonna, you know, this and. And then go. Yeah.

A (10:20)

And so, I mean, in. In a sense, they're seeing snapshots, like little Polaroid pictures of your life, but just blown up to where, like, you've had to hold something in for such a long time and not been able to confront a situation. So reality TV is real in a sense, but it's also severely exaggerated too.

B (10:37)

So in the beginning stages, that's kind of what it was. And then when I started to. When it started to get real and personal was when I got married and all that stuff, like, all of that. And like. And it's funny because my life would be cool, calm, and then as soon as it's time to start filming, I don't know what it is. It's the luck of it where life just becomes crazy and out of control and the cameras are rolling and you just. You just gotta go roll with it.

A (11:05)

So let's cut it right there because we're gonna take it all the way back to when, how this even started, how you even got into reality tv. Of course we will get to your marriage because we know that that's why everybody's listening to this interview too, unfortunately.

B (11:17)

Unfortunately.

A (11:18)

But I really wanna paint a picture for my crowd that of who you are, where you came from, and all the. That you've been through before you even got to this reality TV fame. So you were born in the Bronx? Yes, I'm a Bronx girl and. But you have a crazy story because I. Every time I watch a new interview with you, I learned something new about you. You almost don't tell everything all at once.

B (11:43)

You.

A (11:44)

You kind of, like, give bits and pieces.

B (11:46)

Yeah.

A (11:46)

And you remind me so much of myself because you'll be like, yeah, so I sawed my arm off. But, you know, this happened and it was great, you know, and it's like, you' Wait a second. She just said something super fudgeing traumatic and then just brushes over it like it's nothing.

B (11:59)

Yeah, Because I'm so used to people not really giving a fuck anyway.

A (12:02)

I know, but that's not okay. And it's not, you know, you are a rarity because we need more emotion in this world. We need more like women who are like, hey man, this fucking hurts. There's a clip that we're going to play later of you talking to your ex husband. And it broke me because any woman that's ever been in some sort of fucked up relationship had to have felt that moment, you know, and we'll get.

B (12:30)

Oh, I know that, that that clip has been viral for like, it's still viral. Oh, it, I get, I get people from like, Australia and like all these places that are like sending me DMS and pouring their hearts out.

A (12:41)

And it's because to this day, it's an authentic moment. Yeah, it's a real moment. And you weren't afraid to show that. And I really have to give you your flowers on that because so many people try to just be hard for the cameras or try to act like they don't have emotion and you're just like, no, you know what? This hurts.

B (12:57)

I'm going through some phase in my life when it comes to the reality stuff was so real. And that's why it irks me when the other individual tries to act like it wasn't.

A (13:06)

Yeah.

B (13:07)

For, you know, safe face purposes. But it is what it is.

A (13:10)

So going back to the Bronx, you growing up in the Bronx, you, your mom, can you take us on that journey with your mom? Because your mom was pregnant with you in prison. So let's talk about this. Yeah, she's like, wait, you did your research?

B (13:26)

Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. I mean, obviously I wasn't born yet, so I didn't get to experience much besides like the foster care stuff and not being able to be with my mom all the time. Well, you know, like I'm supposed to, any kid's supposed to in the very beginning, early stages of their life. But yeah, it was an unfortunate situation. My mom, wrong place, wrong time, got caught up and my, my sisters, my older sisters, I should say, kind of felt it more than any anybody. But yeah, it was, it was, it was definitely a trying time for my family, but my mom pushed through. I was in the foster care system for, for some time. And my mom, you know, did what she had to do when she came out to kind of get me back. And it wasn't until like I was like 5, 6 that some normalcy kind of started to transpire for me. So the early stages of my life were definitely away from mom. And family.

A (14:31)

And that creates a lot of resentment and anger in your heart whenever, as a. As a child. Because I. My mom left me on a doorstep when I was a baby. And that really breeds kind of resentment sometimes towards women or sometimes just towards everybody.

B (14:44)

You know, I feel like for me, it wasn't so much like resentment. It was just more of, like, I just felt like it was just unfair, the. The things that I had to deal with as a baby. Yeah. You know, and. And. And I can't blame her for it because it is what it is. But, you know, the people who are taking care of me, you know, and that's why, too. It's like when it comes to foster care children, I have such a. Like a soft spot for them. Because you'd be surprised, you know, how the system just really just mishandles children, you know, consistently, and the people that they choose or they allow to be foster care parents. Because that's really, you know, I know for me, in my experience, that was kind of, I think, the. The part that really kind of messed me up in the childhood kind of phase of it, you know, being molested so young, not having control over what I was feeling, not understanding if what I was feeling was right and was wrong. And that's why to. To this day, for me to be sexual with anybody or anything, even though I'm such a sexual being, when I'm tapped in, it has to be a connection. Yeah. You know, even though I'm super, like, people look at me and be like, I'm super sad and I am, you know, like, it's part of, like, the Scorpio in me. Like, but at the same time, I'm so kind of selective because of that, you know, kind of experience.

A (16:16)

You have to be, you know, especially in this day and age. But I also think. Didn't I see an interview where you talked about, like, while you were in foster care, you were also, like, sexually abused?

B (16:25)

Yeah.

A (16:26)

Like, that's hurtful, too. And that can affect. That can also make people the super sexual or withdraw sexually.

B (16:34)

So, yeah, I was. I was sexually assaulted when I was a child for the time that I was in this particular foster situation and was. I feel like that kind of made me to, like, the tough. Not so much in the, like, the sexual stuff. Granted, like, when it comes to being sexual with anybody, I have to have a connection with you. Like, it's not just, you know what I mean? And it takes a lot to get me there. Yeah. But it also made me, like, the tough girl that I Am, you know, where I'm just kind of. I keep my, you know, and my tolerance and my. I don't know, it's kind of.

A (17:18)

You had to protect yourself.

B (17:19)

Yeah.

A (17:20)

A young age, it was like.

B (17:21)

Yes, that's what it is. I had so the way I am now, I'm like, so like I'll be damn. And people call it crazy and they call it whatever I call it. I just dare you to with me. Just because I. What I couldn't do as a child for myself, I'm gonna do now.

A (17:37)

That just gave me goosebumps. So you grew up to be the child, the woman that would have protected.

B (17:41)

The little girl that you were. I still, yeah. I feel like I owe that little girl the protection that I consistently, on a day to day basis, try to give myself that protection. Yeah.

A (17:52)

And that's really, you know, going through something like that at a young age because I also did too. And I'm only saying that to relate to you. I understand the anger.

B (17:59)

I'm obsessed with the song your husband wrote on your behalf.

A (18:01)

No.

B (18:02)

So every time I listen to it, I cry. Oh, it's one of those.

A (18:06)

Yes.

B (18:06)

Because it's really that. It's like, you know, you're innocent. You don't have no idea. And when it happens, it's like you, you know. No, no. As a child, you don't know how to explain or your innocence is really taken from you.

A (18:20)

Absolutely. And not by choice.

B (18:22)

Things and the thoughts and this and that is like, you know, it's tough. It's not easy.

A (18:27)

Well, that creates anger too. Like not being able to speak up and not being able to like say, no, I don't want you to do this to me. That also creates anger. I grew up such an angry child. I got kicked out of so many schools.

B (18:38)

Oh my God, me too.

A (18:39)

For fighting, for just. I mean, I'm telling you and that. And it stems from all of that that's happened in your childhood. They say that you can feel your mother's emotions while you're. While she's pregnant with you.

B (18:51)

Oh my God. Yeah. My son Sapphire, who's 4 vibrant child, like and, and very. Is it articulated. She. But she knows how to like articulate, articulate all her feelings and such a like, you know, vibe. But when I was pregnant with her, we were in. Me and my ex husband were in like real Die hard honeymoon phase legend. Oh my God. He is. Any little thing goes off. It's. It's literally night and day. And it's crazy because when I was Pregnant with him was when I was tormented the most by my ex husband. Like from the cheating to the embarrassment to, you know, left to fend for themselves after our house got robbed. While he's in a, in a hotel. We're just in the same house that got robbed. And I was there on ice. Tension. It was this. And I literally can see the difference in my children from them too. Just off of, you know, what my pregnancy stage was in my phases.

A (19:54)

It's crazy.

B (19:55)

And he's a beautiful, happy child, don't get me wrong. But when he is, you know, not getting his way, the tantrums, the, the breakdowns he has, I definitely see it. I'm like, oh yeah. Everything I felt when I was pregnant, he took, he now walks with and that, that. So it's funny because every time he has those moments, I try to like squeeze him and hug him and just. Because I'm just like, I. I know what I went through when I was pregnant and I just don't feel like it's his fault.

A (20:27)

Yeah. And what happened to you also wasn't your fault either.

B (20:32)

Yeah. I just wish I would have known better as far as like what I allowed to happen because had I known my it would affect my child now, I probably would have made a lot more better decisions.

A (20:46)

Well, unfortunately, we don't know to make better decisions until we go through situations that make us grow.

B (20:51)

Because I'm like, had I known it would really would affected my child the way it does now. Oh my God. I probably. It probably would have been a lot easier to just walk away and never look back. And it was then, you know, because your children are different, they give you a different type of motive and like.

A (21:05)

Yeah.

B (21:07)

And reason and aby. Damn kind of.

A (21:10)

Yeah.

B (21:11)

You know, way to be.

A (21:13)

You're already such a fierce human, so I could only imagine how you are with your babies now.

B (21:17)

God, I'm like, I'm orange jumpsuit. I dare you to. Yeah. My kids like, don't play with me.

A (21:24)

So circling back to your childhood, moving on from that horrible situation. I heard you say that your mom fought for you, which is awesome because a lot of women don't do that once their babies get lost into the, you know, system. And you also have how many brothers and sisters?

B (21:40)

So I have. Okay, so I have two sisters. One of them on my dad. Well, on my dad's side, I have two sisters and two brothers. Right. One of my sisters from my dad's side, my best friend. I'm so happy we found each other. We didn't grow up together because my dad was, you know, playboy at his fingers. But later on in life she found me and it's like my best friend. Like, literally. I wish I had her all my life. But anyway, we're making up for it now. I have another sister that was adopted and we don't know much about like, her whereabouts, but I have my two brothers on my dad's side and then on my mom's side I have three sisters. So I have a cute number of brother and sisters.

A (22:18)

And they're like half. They're like half and. And full blooded.

B (22:22)

Yeah. Because all my sisters, me and my sisters just only share mama. We all have different daddies.

A (22:27)

Gotcha. That's how my family is.

B (22:28)

Yeah.

A (22:29)

So I feel like parents back in the day were such players.

B (22:32)

Oh, yeah. They lived in that time of just free love. Yeah. Yeah.

A (22:38)

And just do it. Like we literally. We think we do what we want wanted.

B (22:41)

Yeah.

A (22:42)

It's like I feel like we're the generational curse breakers and we're breaking all the. That our parents.

B (22:47)

Oh my God. Yeah.

A (22:48)

You know.

B (22:48)

Yes.

A (22:49)

Yeah. So moving on from that, let's talk about your father's Dominican and your. I heard your mother was raised by nuns.

B (22:58)

Yeah.

A (22:59)

Can we talk about that?

B (23:00)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So unfortunately she got caught up in the system as well. Taken away from my grandfather and put into the system and ended up in like all, I wouldn't say all girls school. It was like a girl and boys school, but it was school, you know, for children that nuns kind of raised them and it wasn't the best experience. You would think, oh, nuns, holy place.

A (23:26)

But no, especially everything that's coming out about like, terrible.

B (23:30)

My mom used to tell the stories my mom tells me. I. I won't even get personal on that just because we recently just had like a heart to heart on all the things she went through. And it's so sad how. Yeah, like I said, like, I just have a soft base, but space because these, they have these facilities for children and children just aren't being treated properly. Yeah. So my mom had a really tough upbringing, which is, you know, why I understand, you know, her even more so now because as a teen, me and my mom used to clash so bad.

A (24:06)

Yeah, we're going through that right now, but thankfully it's not too rough. But I feel like everybody goes through that with their mom. It's like you just.

B (24:12)

Yeah, you don't.

A (24:13)

They don't understand. You don't understand them.

B (24:16)

Yeah. But now, you know, as time goes on like, my mom opening up to me more makes me appreciate her more, understanding what she's been through. And then it makes me look at the things that I've gone through and, like, oh, it's actually not as bad as my mom, so I have to. And I also feel like where I got my strength and resilience from definitely comes from her. After hearing what she's kind of had to go through, I definitely know, like, why I'm such a, you know, unbreakable person is because of my mom. But, yeah, she did fight for us. It wasn't easy. I'm sure they. It's funny because they'll take kids from parents, won't take kids from parents that deserve to be taken care of. And the parents that do ride for their kids, they put them through hell. So, yeah, that was kind of my mom's scenario. But once she got us, we kind of, you know, life started to kick in. My stepfather took over, you know, and gave us such a beautiful life.

A (25:10)

Let's talk about that, though. Because your mom was in a halfway house.

B (25:15)

Yes.

A (25:15)

And fell.

B (25:16)

And then fell in love with my. My. My dad. Yeah. And. Yeah. And he. He gave us such. Like I said, such a beautiful life. He was such a great person. He had, you know, his life as well, and his back. His, you know, backstory. But ultimately, he kind of, you know, fell in love with my mom. And, you know, you couldn't tell him that we weren't his children, and that's how life, you know, kind of picked up for us. And, you know, he bought us our first home. And, you know, it was just. It was once things, you know, we got over those unfortunate circumstances, and my mom did the work, meeting him, you know, that.

A (25:54)

That the universe just felt like that.

B (25:57)

Yeah. That union just literally set the tone for my childhood to kind of actually kind of settle in and be all right. And I still dealt with a lot of things, though, secretly, from what happened to me. So you.

A (26:12)

I think I heard in another interview that you said you never spoke about it, Right?

B (26:16)

No, because when I did, I remember there was a time I did. I was told it didn't happen, so. That is so hurtful, though.

A (26:29)

Yeah, that's really.

B (26:30)

And it's funny because the sister that told me it didn't happen is the sister I don't talk to now. Yeah. And that was the sister that I thought was, like, my nurturer because she kind of did raise me when my mom was at home.

A (26:42)

Right.

B (26:42)

You know, my mom worked a lot to provide us everything. Yeah, that was the sister that kind of held it down for us. But. Right. You know, tables always turn and you eventually see who people are. And that's kind of where I'm at with that.

A (26:54)

She might have gone through her own shit too. So.

B (26:56)

Yeah, she had a kid at a young age, so I'm sure she had her, you know, owner stuff going on. But, yeah, I was told it didn't happen, and, you know, I kind of looked up and very was how you said that. Respected this particular person who is my sister. So, you know, you respect someone and they tell you one thing, you kind of roll with it. And that's kind of how I took it in and I didn't speak about it for a long time.

A (27:26)

That causes anger, too, in a child when you feel like your voice isn't being heard. So you. You stuff that down. It's called unresolved anger.

B (27:34)

Yeah.

A (27:34)

And it's like you. To have to be that young and deal with being told that it wasn't true is extremely hurtful. And that comes out in other ways also.

B (27:44)

Oh, yeah. That's why I'm like. I'm so adamant on, like, being the tough cookie that I am from then to now. I've definitely kind of calmed it down because I'm just kind of like, you got this. Don't worry. People know now. They got them. They got them. They get the message now. Well, you know, so I got a chance to wheel it back in, you know, but, yeah, that's kind of why it's just kind of been that girl to no take. No. I got the label of being batshit crazy because I don't take no shit. And I kind of just. I accept it. It just kind of is what it is. And then people thinking I'm crazy, believe it or not, helps me because it's kind of like, you know, they, they, they. How you say that? They. They know not to with me, so that's kind of like selective. Like, unless they really, really, you know.

A (28:29)

Like, well, I'm your girl, so I'm gonna give the. I'm gonna give it to you real. Tell me you had to step into your. Your masculine energy.

B (28:37)

I've been in my masculine energy even when I was married.

A (28:40)

I feel like it's. Well, he's in his feminine energy, but we'll get into that.

B (28:44)

I feel like I've never not had to be my masculine energy.

A (28:48)

Right.

B (28:48)

And.

A (28:49)

And I talk about that a lot on this podcast because I too. And I'm only saying this because I relate to you so much have been in my masculine energy my entire life, and the only person I'm in my feminine energy with is my husband. And I promise you that when it happens for me, you're going to be this golden race. You're going to be the softest version of yourself, and you're gonna look back.

B (29:09)

You had that taste for, like a second, and it's beautiful.

A (29:14)

Yeah. But when it really happens, and it's.

B (29:17)

Like, when it's for, like, ever.

A (29:18)

When it's yours. Yeah. You're going to look back and you're going to be like, I never want to be in my masculine energy again.

B (29:25)

I want to be. Oh, yeah. No, to have to be in your soft era and then have to jump back in. That's what's not talked about a lot.

A (29:34)

Yeah, absolutely. No, that's extremely traumatizing. Oh, my God.

B (29:40)

And it's hard to let it go because you're like, I loved it there.

A (29:44)

Yeah. Like, why did you take this? Why?

B (29:46)

Like, why? You could have just left me the alone. Like, you gave me a taste of what I deserve, and then to pull it underneath me. To have to. And then to have to be masculine times twenty or a hundred than you've ever been before.

A (30:02)

Yeah, no, I feel you, baby.

B (30:04)

I.

A (30:04)

And we're gonna get into that, I promise. We're just building this story, so we.

B (30:08)

Have to build it.

A (30:09)

So going back to your stepdad, he pretty much came in, made life so great. And then when do you start, like, you know, thinking like, okay, you know what? I want to be a star.

B (30:21)

I feel like I always kind of, like, loved music. And I used to watch west side Story over and over and over again. Once my mom put me onto it, it was one of my favorite go to movies, and I would sit and watch it and sing and dance. And I was obsessed with Rita Moreno. And I don't know, I just felt like I always loved that whole.

A (30:48)

Vibe.

B (30:48)

Yeah. Like, it was just always me to sing and dance, and I was always in the mirror and, like, you know, it was just something that I just. Just. It was just within me. Wasn't even, like, something I was introduced to. I'm just. And I would watch musicals all day long. I just was obsessed with them. And once I started. You know what? In my early preteens, music videos started to become a thing. Like, for real. For real.

A (31:14)

Back in the day, Video Vixens were like, the it thing to be.

B (31:17)

Yeah. Like Janet Jackson. That's the way love goes.

A (31:19)

Oh, yeah.

B (31:20)

My favorite go to videos to watch because she had, like, a variety of all these beautiful women, and Jennifer Lopez was one of them. Not even known at that time, but, yeah, you know, one of the, like, you just see, like all these women vibing out and dancing and just being. I don't know, it was just like a. Era. But that whole, like, music video phase kind of drew me in even more. And then, you know, growing up in New York, the castings of music videos and things like that were like, at an all time high. I actually have a cousin named Maritza. She used to be married to David Alingria. So we had our fair share sometimes too, of going to see Living color or him perform certain things, you know, and she was managing him at one point. And I remember, like, reaching out to her one time, I think, like, 15, 14. I was like, how do I. Oh, I want to be that? I didn't know what it was. I just want to do that. And. And having a conversation with her, she was just like, if you're really serious, you know, go check out backstage. And that was a newspaper at the time that you would get at the corner at the, you know, like the little newspaper stands, music magazine stands. That's so candy and all that stuff. So I would, like, get off the bus or get off the train and get my, you know, backstage. And I eventually just, like, one day was like, you know what? I'm gonna start going out on castings and auditions. And it just kind of took it from there. And I would go skip school, go on these castings or you knew it. I got, you know, cast it for a music video and then it just.

A (33:00)

Which one was the first one?

B (33:02)

The first one ever was all stars. It was a music video with this group called. I want to say it was all stars.

A (33:10)

Can we find that, Mimi? And the crazy thing about it is it online.

B (33:15)

It's featuring. It had Nicki Minaj. Wow. Early prime. Wow.

A (33:27)

Type in all stars Nicki Minaj and see if that comes up. Well, isn't that crazy how life is so full circle?

B (33:33)

So full circle. Because the individual I married later on in life was in it too. They had like a group. Yeah. That was my first music video ever.

A (33:44)

That's the red.

B (33:44)

And if you are able to pull it up, it's so grainy and so like, because this was so long ago.

A (33:51)

Yeah, but how crazy is that? That's like the red string theory that he was in that video with her and you were in it also.

B (33:59)

Life literally comes full circle.

A (34:00)

That is nuts.

B (34:02)

Weird.

A (34:02)

Yeah. So Weird All Stars.

B (34:07)

I. When we wrap this up, I feel like I can find it put Nicki Minaj All Stars video. Well, I was a bit. I was a vixen in the right. I was like a random, you know, video girl. That was my first video. Then came Can't Stop, Won't Stop, Young Guns, which was Rockefeller.

A (34:26)

And from there, all the New York.

B (34:29)

All the New York.

A (34:30)

That's when Rockefeller was like, huge.

B (34:31)

Oh, my God, yes. Young Guts. Can't Stop, Won't Stop. And I remember because it was one of the. It actually became one of those videos that were on all the countdowns. So I would be at school and people would be coming from, you know, to school. Like, I see you in the video 106 at park and da da da. And it was just like. It was a cool feeling. And then, yeah, it just kind of took on a life of its own. I got a taste of what it was like to see myself on tv. I got a taste to, you know, to see how things moved, you know, behind the scenes and what they were looking for, how you needed to look. Well, how what. How you needed to move, who you needed to be. And as young as I was, I was picking up everything. No guidance, no, you know, manager, no nothing. I would like, speak on behalf of myself and just, you know, just kind of just maneuvered. And before you knew it, I was like lead girl in music videos. And then I started doing, you know, publications from like double XL eye candy to.

A (35:28)

This was all huge in the 90s. This is like the 90s, right? 90s and 2000s.

B (35:33)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (35:35)

Late 90s.

B (35:36)

Yeah, yeah, yeah,. Yeah.

A (35:39)

We're showing our age here, Erica.

B (35:40)

I know. I was like, wait, is it 90s? Yikes.

A (35:43)

Like late 90s.

B (35:44)

I was literally one of the videos.

A (35:47)

I was 17 and 97.

B (35:49)

I don't even think I was born in, what, 87. So, yeah, like I. Yeah, yeah, I remember one of the videos I did. I was like 15.

A (35:57)

Wow, that's crazy that. That would never fly nowadays.

B (36:02)

Well, back then, you. They didn't do all the paperwork and stuff, like.

A (36:04)

Right.

B (36:05)

And they paid you cash, you know.

A (36:07)

Well, it's because weird was kind of happening behind the scenes sometimes.

B (36:11)

It was in the early stages of just the whole, you know, how things would get done. Like there was no real process.

A (36:18)

Right.

B (36:18)

You know, they would cast you and then, you know, that's about it. You kind of get your 2, $300 and yeah, you know, get sent home and you'll be there all day. Like I went through it all. Yeah. But I'm, I'm really blessed though, in that even though I was so young, I wasn't dumb. And I will say this, my childhood traumatic experience saved me a lot from getting caught up in, you know, a lot of women do get lured in. Yeah. In these environments to have to do X, Y and Z, to be in these positions where you can be on, you know, in these videos and stuff like that. And I feel like my traumatic experience definitely saved me from like knowing better and just like I would never. Because what I went through, I know what it felt like to be touched and you know, not wanting.

A (37:06)

Yeah.

B (37:07)

And I would never like, I would have refused to like feel that way again under my, with it being in my control.

A (37:14)

I would say.

B (37:15)

So. Yeah. It, it like unfortunate situation, but it definitely prepared me and had me prepared to kind of maneuver in those spaces. Being as young as I was, that's.

A (37:26)

That was an example of you taking your power back.

B (37:29)

Yeah. Yeah. When I, and I also knew like what I wanted to do, so I was just like, I, you're, you're gonna respect me and it's not for that. Right. You know?

A (37:39)

Absolutely. When I got into sex work, that was my way of taking my power back. It was indirectly like, you can't touch me unless you pay me. You know, so it was like a, it was a weird healing.

B (37:50)

Yeah.

A (37:50)

You know, situation. But we all, a lot of us victims. I, I don't like using that word. A lot of us survivors, you know, we take our power back in different ways and it could be something just like what you did. Just saying, like, you know what? I'm not gonna, you know, we're not shaming the other girls who have done it, but we're not gonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

B (38:11)

It is, it's, it's, it's one of those things like everyone has their own way of like dealing with what has had happened to them and then how to progress with it. Yeah. You know.

A (38:20)

Absolutely. Can we bring up a couple of these videos so we can see young Erica?

B (38:24)

It's so funny. I, I, we got a few. Do you got young? Oh God, that's. Oh, I can't wait to dive into that. Oh, I can't wait to dive into that.

A (38:35)

Oh yeah, we got, we're ready, baby.

B (38:36)

We're ready to go. This is. Okay, this video.

A (38:43)

You were in Candy Shop. I didn't know that.

B (38:46)

Yes.

A (38:46)

I love that. I used to dance to this 18 year old Mena.

B (38:50)

18, 19.

A (38:52)

I used to dance to the Song on stage all the time. That is so funny.

B (38:56)

And I was definitely, like, 17 going on 18.

A (39:00)

Erica.

B (39:01)

I was such a baby.

A (39:03)

But you always. You still look the same.

B (39:06)

You think so?

A (39:06)

Yeah. You're so beautiful.

B (39:08)

Thank you. Oh, my God. This is one of my favorites. I got to work with a lot of friends of mines on this.

A (39:14)

These were all the jams.

B (39:17)

I'm so lucky with my video catalog.

A (39:20)

No, this is amazing.

B (39:21)

Yes.

A (39:22)

This is like. This was actually.

B (39:23)

I was really excited about this one because for me, there was so many beautiful women on set. And the fact that I was picked to kind of have that, like, one on one moment. When you're in the video world and you start from, like, okay, kind of being a little bit of an extra to, like, main girl. Yeah. You know, status. It's like an accomplishment when you get to kind of deal with the artist one on one. That's why the Chris Brown video, it was like, oh, my God, now that's movies. Like, I made it.

A (39:50)

How was it meeting Chris Brown?

B (39:53)

It was his early, like, years of, you know, child, so. And I remember because I used to smoke black and mild. Oh, God.

A (40:02)

I think everybody went through a black and mild space.

B (40:04)

And I remember him seeing me off camera smoke one, and he would not let it go. He was just so. This is like, baby Chris Brown. Yeah. So he was like, ew, you've smoked cigarettes. You smoked. And he would not let it go. That he even made a comment about it on, like, making the video and swear to this day, people swear, like. Like I had, like, some type of bad breath, but it was him talking about me, like, smoking, and you could smell the smoke, like, you know, so.

A (40:36)

And it's funny because I see when.

B (40:37)

Every time I see him, I'm like, you have to clear the air on that. That you were literally getting, like, making fun of me for being a black and mild smoker. Because he was fresh. He was like, you know, baby wasn't smoking, wasn' anything. And. Yeah, but that video was my favorite. I remember my best friend at the time. Me and her were up for the part. Yeah. And it was, you know, I felt bad, but I was like, I want it. So I made sure to outdo her and I got the part.

A (41:03)

Yeah. I mean, this is. This is your career that we're talking about.

B (41:05)

I had that Michael Jackson video. What's that video? Where he go walks down the street.

A (41:11)

The way you make me feel. That one.

B (41:13)

The way you make me feel. Okay, so I had that video in mind, and I remember that Woman just being so, like, poised and badass. So when I did the audition and it was Eric White who was. Who directed this video, I made sure that whole video was just playing in my head over and over. So in audition, like, with my friend there, I made sure to outdo her. Yeah. We're not friends anymore, so I can talk the truth about it.

A (41:37)

Yeah, but I mean, you're not even.

B (41:38)

Saying, I may do you, sweetie.

A (41:40)

But yeah, to be 17, 16, 17 doing these types of videos, that's insane. Like, that's allure. Like, this is history right here.

B (41:49)

Yeah, no, it's. It's. I have a lot to tell my mom. I mean, my. My daughter.

A (41:53)

Yeah, yeah.

B (41:53)

Literally, mommy has a book to tell you.

A (41:56)

But unless you've lived through this era, you don't understand it, and it's hard for people to respect it. But this is like, this is really.

B (42:02)

Yeah. Because videos aren't like the go to thing anymore.

A (42:04)

No. And people. This was such a cool era. I wish we could go back to.

B (42:08)

This because that's the girl, actually. She ended up being casted for the friend. Oh. Her name's Narisha. I love it.

A (42:16)

But I mean, this is like, this is such a cool lore. And this goes. I just want to show everybody how independent you were before even this marriage that has made so many headlines. And, you know, because I see people say things and I'm just like, do they realize who Erica was before she got with this band?

B (42:30)

And I think because I've been around for so long, and then came this era, and then came love and hip hop. And then when I did love and hip hop, well, I was on there for, like, 15 years easy. I went through the different phases. Like, and. And I'm. I'm. I went through the whole era of like, okay, not understanding how reality TV works to. Okay, now I need to get the audience to tap into me. Even though producers were still set on me being narrated this way, that brought in ratings. It took a while for people to kind of like, okay, see me as a person. And I still feel like they don't see me as a person because they're so used to me being the villain.

A (43:13)

Right.

B (43:13)

You know, for a long time, I was okay with going in, tearing up, saying whatever, telling, you know, letting, Doing whatever they wanted me to do. Until finally I was like, this is not who I want to be forever. I want to do movies, and I want to do. And I would go out for auditions for movies, but because people have this set, you know, narrative on me, Casting people. It was hard for people to cast me. So then I'm like, okay, I have to do something that over time. And. And even though it was like I was one. I'm one week hate it. One week loved. And it goes back and forth and it fluctu. One thing's for certain is people watch for me.

A (43:50)

Absolutely.

B (43:50)

You know, because I. I bring it. Whether it's put together story by production, or it's my real life.

A (43:57)

What did you say to me earlier? Talk your girl.

B (44:01)

So it's like, yeah, I've been able to kind of like people, whether they hate me or love me or whatever, they gravitate. They watch, they know over time. I'm just like, you know what? Like, I. I want people to kind of know who I am. I'll still give you guys what you need, but I want people to start knowing that's why too. You'll see the shift if you see the years of love and hip hop. How is this? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah bout it, bout it, bout it, you know, going off on whoever. I will say whatever and read. Read a bitch for filth. No, no, no.

A (44:34)

Which I love that Erica pop the fuck off queen. For sure.

B (44:38)

I would have, like, no remorse. And then after a while, I'm just like, okay, I'm done being that girl. Like, and you could. You will see the ship if you really watch that early love and hip hop phase to like, okay, as time went on, you'll see how things change. And it was because I was just so sick of people just thinking I was just this mean, batshit crazy bitch for no reason. It's like I had to do my job and I did it. And now it's like, okay, people still want me, so let's just to show them who I am. Yeah. So for a while it. And even with that, like, I would be real deal myself. And production will narrow, like, edit things to be the way they want it to be. That's why with my lesbian relationship.

A (45:24)

Yeah, we'll talk about that too.

B (45:25)

Yeah. I'm like, this is the real deal. And then next do you know, it's like they're setting it up like this is completely innocent. And it's like, damn, we're gonna hop.

A (45:35)

Into that relationship with Sin too. But I want to talk about another relationship before all the love and hip hop stuff, because you actually met your first baby daddy, Raul, who was part of. I know he was part of the Terror Squad. Take me on that journey with you guys.

B (45:51)

I met him at The Nina sky video Move youe Body. And I was brought in by, you know, production to be on set where he was already on set. And I remember him telling me the story. I had this black dress, Remember the arrow of like, that draping kind of thing?

A (46:12)

I actually still love those dresses.

B (46:14)

Yeah. Well, I have one of those dresses on set. And he said, he. This is the story that he tells me. And it's. It lives rent free in my head forever. But he's like, as soon as they brought you in the room, I seen you and I looked down at your stomach and I was just like, damn, this is gonna have my baby. He was like, your. Your stomach was so sexy. He was just like, I just felt like you were gonna have my baby. And he was like. That's why I said. And it's funny because they asked him when I. They brought in a couple girls, like, who. Who he wanted standing next to him, and he picked me. And as soon as I, you know, got next to him, he took off his terrorist rats chain, put it on my neck, and it just draped right there on top of my stomach. And from there it was like, history. Oh. And then he, like, I remember once he can put on the chain, he put his arm around me, passes me his phone, and he goes, put your number in.

A (47:11)

Aw.

B (47:12)

So that was the romantic way of getting with my first baby daddy. But that was the kind of man I was, like, always attracted to. Like, a man that's just like assertive, like boss. Like, not with the extra shit. Like, you know, let's get straight to the point. I'm one of those women, like, if you want to fall in love in three days, let's do it. Yeah, but really fall in love. Like, I'm down.

A (47:33)

So anyway, he pulled that mesh emerged souls.

B (47:36)

Yeah. Like, okay, like, you see me, you want me, you're for me. Let's do this. Yeah. And that's what it was. He saw me, he. He knew he wanted me. And. Yeah. And we were inseparable after that. I feel like later. I was 18 when I met him. Yeah, I was young.

A (47:59)

You're a baby, but you were, you know, of age, so. Yeah, it's fine. So you end up having Raul's baby.

B (48:07)

Yes.

A (48:07)

Take me on this journey of being a video vixen and getting pregnant. Like, how do you.

B (48:13)

Oh, I hid my first pregnancy when starting a podcast.

A (48:16)

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B (51:35)

I hid. How.

A (51:36)

How did you do that?

B (51:36)

You know why? Because, okay, not saying I don't love my kids. I'm so obsessed with my kids. Yeah, but I never wanted kids.

A (51:44)

Yeah, that's. There's nothing wrong with that. I've never wanted kids either. And I have one right here.

B (51:47)

I. I never wanted kids. I think seeing my, my sisters struggle to provide and, and all of that just wasn't my thing. Yeah, it just wasn't. I just saw it as like, okay, this is great for you guys, but it's not for me. And I used to walk around with this whole mentality of, like, if I was stupid enough to get pregnant, I'm gonna be smart enough to keep my baby. So therefore, I will never be stupid enough to get pregnant. Right. And then before you know it, me and Ro was having our time of our lives, living it up. You know, I was hanging out with him during the stages of BMF being, you know, in Miami and running the streets. DJ Khaled was still DJing at the clubs.

A (52:31)

I actually had Tony Said Welch on the podcast and she's. She was the first lady of bmf.

B (52:36)

Yeah. So, like, I was around during that. That era.

A (52:39)

What a great era.

B (52:40)

What is Money was everywhere. Yeah. I feel like it taught. It showed me to the ropes of like, okay, like, be about your shit. Get your money. You could live a good life. And, you know, that's kind of where I was aiming and that's where I would. So when I found out, and I found out I was pregnant, like six months pregnant, I had no idea. I was six months living my best life. Wasn't showing no symptoms, still getting my period.

A (53:02)

And you're already so tiny.

B (53:04)

Like, I was even more tiny before then because I didn't have my breast implants. Nothing. I was like, so young. Yeah. And yeah, I found out I was pregnant and I. It. I was actually depressed. I didn't want it. I didn't Want a baby?

A (53:20)

Well, I mean, you were, you were a baby having a baby.

B (53:23)

Yeah, I didn't. And I. And I hid and I hid and I just, I had to gather myself in the sense of like, okay, like this is what it is. How do I do this? I more so spent the time being pregnant with my first pregnancy, coming to terms with, okay, this is what it is, and being okay with that.

A (53:46)

Right.

B (53:47)

But once King was born, I was like, okay, I'm okay with this.

A (53:53)

Aw, you fell in love with them.

B (53:54)

I fell madly in love with him. I breastfed. I took, took pride in that. And because I hid my whole pregnancy too, for me was more so like I got a chance to just dive into like, okay, this is what it is. You're gonna have to do whatever it takes, you know, to, to give this person the best life possible. And I didn't know how I was gonna do that, but I knew I was gonna do whatever it took to do that. Right. And how did you guys come up with his name? He named him. Oh, he named him.

A (54:25)

That makes it even more special.

B (54:27)

Yeah, he named him. He. I, I was like one day want to name him Raul. And like, you know, like as cuz I didn't. I. Like I said I was still coming to terms with me being pregnant. So the whole naming thing, you know, was like, I didn't know, I didn't want that responsibility. But at the same time I was like giving suggestions. And then one day he was like, we're gonna name him King. And I was like, what?

A (54:47)

Really?

B (54:48)

He's like, yeah. I just love the idea of like a woman going up to him and like asking him his name and he just says her, I'm King.

A (54:55)

Yeah.

B (54:55)

He's like. And he was. Raul was so into God and about God and you know, stuff like that that, you know, he would always say, you know, God is King. King is God. So I think that's kind of where his, his drive with that came from.

A (55:09)

Yeah.

B (55:10)

And I was, I was fine with that. I was like, King. Actually, that's. And then when I thought about the, you know, how he broke it down, like. Yeah. Imagine like if I was a woman walking up to a guy fly and turns around, asks him names. King. I'm sold.

A (55:23)

And but back then too, that name wasn't very popular.

B (55:26)

It wasn't? Yeah, it wasn't. I think Kingston. Gwen Stefani had named her son Kingston around that time. I remember that vaguely. Cuz when she announced it, I'm like, she took our name, but he's like, no, it's King. King. So, yeah, so he named him and. Yeah. And it was it. It. King changed my life completely. He made me the ultimate hustler. He made me realize that even more so than I did before, feel like I had the. The, like I. I needed to make happen for me.

A (56:01)

Yeah.

B (56:02)

Because, you know, stealing baby formula and Pampers and all that was not the life I wanted to live. But it was what I had to do at some points. And it was just like, okay, I. I can't. And it's. It's crazy because still to this day, like, people will be like, where is Queen? Why she never show him? And so on so forth. But it's like he was born and I did everything I could to provide for him. So when I finally got the call to kind of do love and hip hop, I was living in LA at the time. King was like, seven, six, seven. Love and hip hop. New York was in New York. I was living in la and I made my mom retire so that I can have the peace of mind. Obviously, me going through what I went through as a child, I was like, I'm not leaving my kid with just anybody.

A (56:55)

Yeah.

B (56:56)

So the next best thing was make my mom stop working and take on the responsibility of not only taking care of a kid, but my mama so that I can have peace of mind.

A (57:06)

Yeah.

B (57:07)

And go out and make shit happen for us so that this way we can have. So I did have to sacrifice a lot of time, but it wasn't until he was like 6, 7. I was with King, dugging it, you know.

A (57:20)

Well, you were. You were already doing some TV stuff because Raul hadn't. Was best friends with.

B (57:25)

Yeah, he set us up to do Dash Miami. And King was like, what, three, four? He was. He was in a snippet of it too. Yeah, he was like 2, 3. He was walking around. He was so small, so tiny. But yeah, I was saying he was putting me. And one thing I will say, regardless to what. And our relationship at one point was so, like, it was. It was toxic.

A (57:45)

That was my next question.

B (57:46)

Because, yeah, it was toxic because it was more controlling. Like, he really just. He saw me as being for him and only for him. And as time grew, I was like, I want more out of life. Like, I love you, but I want more. And I like, was he staying in this.

A (58:01)

Was he a lot older than you? Okay, how about.

B (58:03)

How older? How much older? About a couple of years. Okay. But I will say this, like, even though the times that he made things difficult for Me, he was always a dad.

A (58:19)

Yeah.

B (58:20)

He loved his kids, and even in the times when he didn't have much, he still made it happen. So, like with King, with. With Raul, I never, ever had to think for one second to ever put him on child support or anything like that, because he just was always like, he was just a real one when it came to the kids. He just made things difficult for me at times. Well, yeah, but even with that being said, he put me in for a lot of things that I'm able to do now, like reality tv. He was the one who kind of set that play up, him being good friends with Scott Disick. He introduced me to Courtney, and every time they would come to Miami, we would hang out with them. So I eventually built a rapport with her. So when she started to cast for Dash, she asked about me, and Raul was like, absolutely. He actually was the one who made Jesse Torero put me in Candy Shop. And this is around the time that Fat Joe and 50 Cent had their rival. But he was like, my girl, because he knew Jussie was casting for that. He was like, you know, Erica will be banging for that. Like, you need to have, you know, a Latina in there stop playing. And Jesse was like, you sure? Like, aren't y' all at war? He was like, joe's at war. They ain't got nothing to do with my girl. So he put me in position for that.

A (59:39)

That's amazing.

B (59:39)

Cast it for that. Yeah. No, like, Raul, like, even though we had our toxic times and it was real bad, girl. Like, real bad. Like, physical bad. Like, whatever we could do to. With each other, hurt each other, we were doing at one point, and it's not something I, you know, I'm happy about, but it's the truth. And. But even still, he didn't. He knew I was the mother of his child, so he didn't do anything to stop me from flourishing, to be able to be the best that I could be.

A (60:10)

That's amazing. That's a real man.

B (60:12)

Yeah. Yeah. Like, regardless of how he felt, like, he. At one point, he had, like, a real possessive kind of mentality when it came to me.

A (60:18)

Yeah.

B (60:18)

Which I look back at it now, I'm like, fuck.

A (60:21)

Kind of hot.

B (60:22)

It's very hot. But I was young, and I. I also was like, oh, no, let me be. I want to go. I want to. Because I also knew, like, there was more for me. Yeah. You know, and he was very set in how he did things and how he was as a man. You Know, like, I used to get on him all the time because he used to. He would bring money to everybody, like, put these business plays from Fat Joe to Khaled to, you know, Jesse Terrell to all these big people that now are doing so extremely well for themselves. He would set up these plays for them and would never act for any type of, like, business percentage from deals he locked in. And none of them would ever look back and be like, hey, you set this up here. Feed your family. So I was, you know, as his woman, sitting around, seeing this man look out for everybody. And you see the other wives, you know, living it good. And we're here kind of, like, struggling and penny pitching. And after a while, it just didn't sit well for me. And I would bring it to his attention, and it would just be a bicker. And his thing was, you know, like, you know, this is what I do. This is who I am. And. And that was great for him, but for me, it was like, as your woman, I can't sit up here penny pinching while you're doing all of this. Everyone's eating, and we're just barely making it.

A (61:45)

Yeah. Also, as his. His other half, you. You want to bring that to attention because you want to be like, hey, baby, like, you deserve this, too.

B (61:54)

Up until he passed, I feel like that was always our conversations because he's. He was always the power play. And it's funny because at one point, he came out with his own water, and he brought it to Joe's attention, like, let's do our own water, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's safe to say Fat Joe downplayed all of Raul's great ideas. But over the years, who had their own water, 50 Cent came out with his own vitamin water. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's like all these great ideas that he would bring to Fat Joe, and he would downplay it or turn his. Turn his cheek. And, you know, like, he was such a brilliant man with all these great ideas. He just wasn't. He was respected when it came time to protect everybody and, you know, do the street shit and stuff like that. And when he was bringing money to the table but never looked at and, like, you know, acknowledged for the other great things that he was, you know, trying to make happen. So I think that was just like, as much as I, like, wanted to stug it out and stick with him on it, I just knew, like, okay, you're okay with this and this lifestyle and this living and being, you know, leveled with all of this, I can't, like. I like the way these other individuals are living. I deserve to live like that, too. And that kind of was the reasoning for me, kind of of like breaking things off. But it wasn't easy because he was not letting me go for a while, but he still put me in position. Yeah, I owe that man so much. I like, you know, from the music videos to bringing me into reality tv, I got a taste of it. I got a chance to see how it works, what it was and how they do things. And just seeing, like, how the Kardashians are able to turn anything with their name on it into bucks and stuff like that. Like, getting a taste of that with him putting me in position to do that and be that, you know, set it off for me. It was everything I needed to know. It was like kind of like a little blueprint. So that, man, you know, we. We had our toxic times, and it was ugly. And it was one point I went viral after I got on Love and hip hop because of an altercation I had with him outside of a nightclub, which was, you know, gets brought up a lot and. But people don't understand the backstory of that, but it's fine. But even with that being the case, he still did right by me because I was his kid's mother. And, you know, for that, I just. I gotta give him the ultimate respect.

A (64:35)

How are you dealing with his death?

B (64:39)

I don't think you could ever deal with it. I didn't think I was.

A (64:50)

You push so much down, Erica, that. That's why whenever moments like this happen, it comes to you because you don't. You push so much down. You're so trying to be the tough person, you know, so it's like.

B (65:06)

It's.

A (65:08)

It's the heartbreak, like it's okay to.

B (65:11)

Hurt that I gotta watch my baby go through it. I can't do anything about that because I can't ever take that away.

A (65:25)

It was so unexpected, too.

B (65:28)

It was his best friend, my kid's best friend, and they had a relationship that was just so. I actually wish I had that type of. Thank you. That type of relationship with one of my parents. I guess you could say I kind of had it with my stepfather. But to see your kid heartbroken and as a mom, you really can't do anything about it is, like, the hard part. And then realizing that now I'm really a single mom because he was like a dad for him. And the other situation I feel like is whatever. I think I've Been a single mom from the beginning. Right? But now I'm for real single mom.

A (66:31)

You almost don't realize how much he weight he pulled with you until he's not there anymore.

B (66:36)

Yeah, because when I couldn't be there because of my work schedule and things like that, he pulled rank and he showed up and he. He. He did what he had to do.

A (66:48)

Were him and Kim close?

B (66:50)

Huh?

A (66:51)

Were him and King close?

B (66:52)

Extremely.

A (66:53)

Yeah.

B (66:53)

Extremely close. And it's funny because over the years, me and him became extremely close, too. He would talk. He would. He would talk to me and, like. Like, what do you see in this? Like, look how fast you left me because you want it better. What is it with this? This is not even your type. This is not even of your level. Like, you know why I picked you? You know why I picked you? Because I saw greatness in you. You know why he picked you? Because he wants to take your greatness. And he would have these conversations with me and. And they would resonate with. And those. And. And our conversations mean his conversations will be those times where I would have the. I would build that strength, and then I'll be like, okay, never again. And then, you know, he was like.

A (67:40)

Your best friend again.

B (67:41)

Yeah. But he would remind me of who I was a lot. Like, do you. Do you know who you are? Did you forget who you are? Like, look how fast you left me. And you didn't look back and look what happened. Like, what is it with this clown? Whatever the fuck he wants to call him in the moment. What is it with him? Like, why. Why are you letting this situation. Especially when I was going through postpartum really bad, after I had Legend. Yeah, he would come over, bring me food, open the shades. Like, what are you. Like, what are you doing, E. Like, did you forget who the fuck you are? He's like, like, you know, snap out of it. And then, you know, it's funny because the babies loved him. They called him Uncle Raul. So we had a relationship. It was great. You know, the only thing. He was just so soft with King. But King would get away with everything, and that would be our bicker. If there was any. Like, you have to let. Like, like, you can't let him run you. You can't let him tell you what to do and this and that. I'm like, you have to be the dad. And he's like, oh. You know, like, he just had this softness with. With King that King could get away with anything, could tell him anything, whatever. But he was the best dad. And Then over time, he just became.

A (69:07)

One of my confidants.

B (69:10)

Confidants? No other. We spent Thanksgiving together. You know, at times we did New Year's Eve together. Like him, the babies, King and Raul and the family. And, you know, that was. That was it.

A (69:24)

Yeah.

B (69:24)

No.

A (69:26)

I'm so sorry that you guys have.

B (69:27)

To go through that.

A (69:28)

That, like, it breaks my heart to see you hurt so bad.

B (69:30)

Yeah. It's hard to just know that King's still hurting. Yeah. And probably will be hurting for some time. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

A (69:37)

Losing a parent is rough. I couldn't even imagine at that age.

B (69:40)

And then. Yeah. And then, you know, King and him having had plans to, you know, do things together, like, you know, moving him into his dorm room, college and things like that. And.

A (69:58)

How is your relationship with King now? Because I know you.

B (70:01)

It's kind of better. We've had our moments. I feel like, because King, for. For a little bit, he doesn't like the limelight. So, you know, me being famous and stuff like that. Like, once he became vocal, like, he didn't want to be on TV and social media because any real fan of mine knows, like, me, King used to have the best snaps back in the day. And King is so smart that we used to. We used to end up on blogs because this is the beginning phases of, like, social media and stuff. But SNAP was big for us and we would sit and have these conversations. And as a kid, he was so into, like, global warming and modern day feminism.

A (70:41)

Sounds like this one over here.

B (70:43)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (70:44)

They're just so smart. Like, I could never.

B (70:46)

Yeah. So we would sit and just have these conversations on Snap and people would just be so blown away about how smart he is. And this, that. And third, and he finally started going to school and where kids were a little bit older and parents, you know, are tuned into love and hip hop. And that attention just started to really get to him and affect him. And there was one time he went to the library and a group of parents, parents just kind of like forced him to take pictures. And that just kind of traumatized him for the rest like that. To this day, to get King to go out with me somewhere, I have to promise him that I'm not taking pictures.

A (71:23)

Oh, I understand that. We deal with that in our family too.

B (71:26)

Yeah, he hates it. He doesn't like it at all. He's very. He's super introvert. He's like, not with any. So for a while it was just like, why do you have to be famous? I hate this. Like, you know, like, so we went.

A (71:43)

Through that with Bailey too.

B (71:45)

It's. Yeah.

A (71:45)

Like, it's rough on kids.

B (71:47)

Yeah. And it's not even because he was never bullied or anything about it. It was just the fact that it's.

A (71:53)

A life they didn't ask for.

B (71:54)

Yeah. It's like, why are they in our. Like, why do they want to take. Like, I hate this. Like, why? So for a little bit, he dealt with that. And then also too. When I started loving hip hop, I had to fly out every Sunday from lax, Red Eye to make it Monday to fly back out Friday, Red Eyed. So I can have Friday. Well, Saturday morning to Sunday. So I only have like a day and a half with him when I started doing love and hip hop, so I missed out on a lot.

A (72:29)

You get a lot of shit for that. Oh, my God. Online and I. To me. And, you know, everybody has their own situations that are going on and you had your own trauma that you're dealing with, especially at that age. Since when do we start shaming moms for having to work?

B (72:44)

Yeah.

A (72:45)

I don't, that's. I don't understand because I already have.

B (72:47)

The guilt of, like, knowing I'm gonna miss football, I'm gonna miss parent teacher. I'm gonna miss, you know, just making him lunch every day or whatever. Like, that guilt will just never go away. And just the little things, like, even now with the little guys, I'm like, I bring them to set with me because I'm so scared. Something.

A (73:05)

Yeah.

B (73:05)

You know, I don't. I already walk with that, like, resentment with myself. Guilt and guilt because I'm like, I missed out on so much with him. But at the same time, King had stability, he had structure. I go through it a lot. Like, I feel like, especially with the little ones, I. I think back, like, damn, like, this is what I miss with King. And so anyway, with that being said, I had nothing when I had King. Yeah. Like, Raul did what he could, but for myself, I had nothing. Yeah. Like, in order to have rent be paid, in order to stop stealing, what the fuck. I needed to survive in order to provide food and all of that. I really had nothing. Yeah. So when I got the opportunity to do love and hip hop, it was a lot like, even for me. Can you imagine, like, working all. And I remember I had to, like, stay with my sister for the weeks. The days during the weeks that I was filming for Love and hip hop.

A (74:11)

Yeah.

B (74:11)

Who was still living in New York and then fly back and then literally be home. But this long yeah. To go back on that six damn hour flight. But it was an opportunity for me to get out there to. For me to get paid, even though they wasn't paying me much right at that time. But it was something.

A (74:29)

Yeah.

B (74:29)

And it also gave me an opportunity to give King what he needed, you know, not having shit. Yeah.

A (74:39)

You were literally working.

B (74:42)

To provide what he needed and just making it. And I was okay with that because I was able to pull it off. And then you got to remember, too, I also had my mom that I had to take care of too.

A (74:53)

Yes. Well, people make it sound like you just were out partying and, like, living a life, and they don't even realize that, like, like the parents every day make sacrifices for their kids, you know, and you were doing what you had to do at that time to make money. Did you miss out on his life a lot? Yes. But now look at the life that you have provided.

B (75:12)

And I will say that, like, I missed out on a lot, but he turned out to be such a beautiful soul. He is so, like, intelligent. He has accomplished so much. He's 17 and in college right now. Now? Yeah, as we speak. Like, I can't even complain. Like, that's why now, like, before it used to bother me and I used to sit there and, like, explain myself, but now it's like, I feel like it's a little bit weird and freaky and. And kind of like now I look at people who inquire and stress this whole, where is he? Why she's never posted. Like, you are weird to be stressing about a child's whereabouts, especially a child that is doing well for himself. Yes. At such a young age, for him to graduate high school and already be in college at. And already have his career. Like, he wants to do cyber. He wants to work in cyber security, and he's adamant on, like, being in that field no matter what it takes, you know, like, and it's not industry. It's not. And he has the private life that him and his. His dad, even though his dad was known, his dad likes his privacy as well. So he gets that trait from his dad. And he. He has everything he wants and more, you know, it's just unfortunate. Now he doesn't have his best friend, you know, but even with that being said, he's doing the work to get through it by, you know, now he's in college, he's, you know, sourced out his own therapist and, you know, things like that to kind of, you know, start his life and being a grown, you know, Person, and he does a great job at it. And now I feel like he's accepted me being the famous family.

A (77:00)

Well, it takes him growing, them growing.

B (77:01)

Up a little bit, too. And now it's like. It's funny because now that he's in college, we talk more now that he's in college than we have ever. Well, when he was a kid, he used to blow me up. But then he got into, like, preteen, and then it was like, oh, my mom's famous, E. But now he's in college, and we talk all the time. Like, we literally are on the phone for hours that I gotta tell him. Like, king, I gotta put the babies to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow. And even that is so hard because it's like your baby wants to talk to you and stay on the phone with you, and you're like, I gotta go. I gotta go, because I have the other ones. But. And then the babies are obsessed with him. Sapphire is, like, in love with her brother, you know, talks about him all day long. And it's funny because he doesn't like pictures, but with her, he'll sit on her. Like, she. He will turn her iPad, and with her, he'll take pictures, but no pictures with anybody else. Like, he runs from the camera. So sat. Anytime we want, like, an updated photo of King, we go to Sapphire's iPad, because they're there. Like, you know, I love. So, yeah, it's come full circle our relationship. And then any parent who has a teenager knows, like, teenage years. They. They sucks. I love being a mom, but, like. Like. And I'm thinking already about it, when it comes to the two that I have now, I'm like, I do not want those girl. Teenage years are so hard.

A (78:24)

You're gonna have two of them at the same time.

B (78:26)

Exactly. And I got the boy and the girl. And it's. It's. It's gonna be so interesting to see how I pull that off. But teenage years are so hard. And then in this generation, and then the way school is made up, how, you know, kids are forced to have to talk about commerce, like, subjects that kids shouldn't be having to talk about.

A (78:44)

The kids now, the. Some of the sexual preferences, and, you.

B (78:48)

Know, Tom wants to become Sally, and all of that stuff is fine, but it's like, that's not what I have. Have in my household. So for them to have this upbringing and then put them into a school that. Or schools in general or the outside world, because one thing I've learned is that these kids Learn more from other kids than they do their teachers. Sometimes it is things off.

A (79:07)

Yeah.

B (79:08)

And then they come back from school, you know, you lie to me or why is this? And then it's like, you don't. You're not prepared for these conversations yet because they're not at the age where you should be preparing.

A (79:19)

Right. My husband always says this quote. He says the worst thing you can do for a child is a parent that has an unlived life.

B (79:26)

Yeah.

A (79:26)

Because, you know, if you're just gonna sit at home with your kid and not pursue your dreams, what is that teaching your children?

B (79:32)

Yeah.

A (79:32)

You know, now look at your baby. He's in college pursuing his dreams because he had parents that pursued their dreams.

B (79:39)

Yeah. And then that sacrifice, you know, even though I wasn't ever expecting to do it by myself, now with the two little ones, it puts me in position now where, Okay, I have made a name for myself where, like, the two little ones, now, instead of leaving them behind, I can bring them with me on movie sets and stuff because I have a little status and people kind of respect it and understand. And now, too, working moms are more.

A (80:01)

Respected, way more respected than they were.

B (80:03)

Back in the day. They know you come with kids, they're going to give you a good trailer. And. And that's how I've been able to pull off all my movies, because every single movie I have done, the little ones have been on set with me.

A (80:13)

I see that, too.

B (80:13)

I think that's. Yeah. And that's something I would. I wish I would have had then, but I was making a name for myself and setting myself up back then.

A (80:21)

Yeah.

B (80:21)

So now. Yeah. Things are different. Yeah.

A (80:25)

So moving on from King, we're going to get into the subject that everybody wants to talk about and everybody wants to hear from you on. Because you haven't spoken about this at all.

B (80:35)

I've been speaking about it just because of love and hip hop.

A (80:38)

Right. But most recently, there was the most recent event.

B (80:41)

Yeah. There was just something that was put out there for monetization and clout and, you know, for a weird agenda of.

A (80:51)

A certain individual who's now a YouTuber.

B (80:54)

Yeah. All of a sudden, a YouTuber. We were.

A (80:58)

We were researching last night, and I was just like, this is weird, but to each their own.

B (81:04)

I'm never gonna knock anybody's hungry midlife crisis. At 43 years old, you wake up one day and wanting to be. Be a YouTuber.

A (81:10)

Girl, let me break out my glasses because I've got so many notes on this. So for those of you who don't know, you actually married Safari or yes, you married Safari, who is Nicki Minaj's ex. That's pretty much what people know him for, is being Minaj's ex. You can see her whole demeanor change talking about this man. Take me on the courtship. Because you said somewhere that, that he courted you for about three years.

B (81:42)

Oh my God.

A (81:45)

That's crazy.

B (81:46)

I didn't want him, right? My intuition knew what was up, right? I did not want him. I never found him attractive in that way. And it's funny because it wasn't until I actually started dating him that I even got like, like the real of like his relationship with Nikki. So when he started to kind of come after me, I knew he was her ex, but I didn't know the real details of it. Coming from the terror squad angle of my life. I always was a Remy fan and stuff like that. And don't get me wrong, like, who doesn't sing a Nicki Minaj song? But I was never like tapped in like. Cause you remember, she from Brooklyn, I'm from the Bronx. So you kind of growing up in New York, you, you side and more gravitate to the rapper that's from your barrel, right? And, and everybody has to like. Well, it's not even that. It was just I was with Raul, so. Right. Remy was my, my go to, right. You know, like that was who I knew, that's who I sang. And I, I do know that Nikki for years had like these bomb ass mixtapes that even friends of mine would like like dive into it, know every word. So I knew of her, right. I just was never like really super familiar with her music because of the world that I was kind of in. Right. So yeah, I didn't know the details of their relationship or that, you know, whatever until we kind of. But anyway, I.

A (83:22)

So you guys met on the side.

B (83:24)

I wasn't. How you say that I wasn't put onto game of the kind of individual that was. All I knew was that he just gave me corny, he gave me player, he gave me suspect, you know, like.

A (83:40)

It wasn't the fur coats that threw you off.

B (83:42)

You know what, I don't even think he had the fur coats when, when I kind of met him and he was kind of going at me. He had the, the fake ruby gold necklaces and I was engaged to Bow Wow the first time I ever came past with this individual. So that's how far back we were at this strip club and they were actually filming for like, this reality show at the time. And I had want to be in support of my friend Sire. That was a part of it. Anywho, he was dating an associate that I knew at the time. She comes in with him and he, she introduces me to him, and he literally was like, you're Erica Mena. Damn, you're so beautiful in person. Wow. Why? Mind you, he's with this other woman.

A (84:31)

Just disrespectful from the gate.

B (84:33)

So that, to me was like, my first impression of him. Like, you are just disrespectful. You're thirsty. You're just not like, not that type of guy.

A (84:42)

Yeah.

B (84:42)

Anywho, that was my first intro to him. And I, from that day, he, for like three years, this man, just when I tell you, did everything in his power until finally my publicist he hired purposely because he knew she was my publicist. And I didn't find this out until years later, but he would offer her money just to kind of, you know, get to me. So, yeah, I, I, I was, I was tracked down and he was persistent and he did.

A (85:22)

You had had previous relationships on, like, Love and Hip Hop and stuff like that. Were you burned from, like, going through the, and going through the situation with Rich Dollars? Was it because you didn't want to have another relationship on camera in that franchise?

B (85:36)

Well, he wasn't even on Love and Hip Hop when he started kind of.

A (85:40)

Okay, Gotcha.

B (85:41)

He wasn't even a part of it. Wow.

A (85:42)

Okay.

B (85:43)

Yeah. So, yeah, this started, like, when I met him. He was definitely not on it.

A (85:49)

Okay. Was it you that brought him in on it?

B (85:52)

Was it what was it you that.

A (85:54)

Brought him in to?

B (85:56)

I think at one point he just got, you know, tight on money and decided to kind of like, go after Nikki Baby Gotcha and for her so he can get on it as well. Yeah, that's a mode of.

A (86:11)

I stopped watching everything. I stopped watching Love and Hip Hop after you and Rich Dollars broke up.

B (86:17)

Really? Yeah.

A (86:18)

I was just like, me and Rich.

B (86:19)

Had a good run. I will say that I thought you guys were so cute. I would say this. He believed in me, but he was one of those guys that he was easily influenced. Like, anybody could tell him anything. Yeah. So at one point people were like, telling him, like, she's just using you, blah, blah, blah. Mind you, it's like, I don't have to use you. I'm talented. Like, you're a manager if you're smart enough.

A (86:40)

We're co stars.

B (86:41)

What the fuck is in front of you? And you would, you know, not think relationship and think fucking business. And I still to this day tell them that all the time. I'm like, had you not believe what the fuck people were trying to make you believe, whether it was production or like, outside people, people, me and you probably could have made a killing together in the business. Because, like, one thing Rich at one point had was good tactics on how to, like, he. He helped, you know, spiral Cassie's, you know, career and he's, you know, responsible for a lot of other people. And he was even managing Olivia at one point. But he just believed whatever the people told him and it started to put a bad taste in his mouth about me. The mother got involved and, you know. Yeah, it was just weird. It was like, you know, everyone wanted. Want me to be this person that was using him. And it's like, I don't have to use you. I'm. I'm. That I'm talented. Whether you see it or not. Like, this got something going here.

A (87:37)

Like, I know, but I feel like you guys genuinely had love for each other.

B (87:41)

Like there was, but at the same time, he just did a lot of shiesty shit for storyline. Oh, to hurt me. And like, you know, like, that's like. Even with him teaming up with, With. With Sin, it was like you. He. He despised that girl. And then all of a sudden, to bring me down, they both. When me and her were on the outs, it was like they got together to kind of go at me, which whatever, was great storyline. But yeah. And then as far as Sin, what sucks about that is there was a lot of truth that came out with her that Rich kind of brought on camera, but they edited out because she was the one that. How do you say that? They wanted people to feel what they feel about her. What do you think they feel like? Her being this innocent woman that, you know, I went after her and I took advantage of her and, you know, broke her heart, mind you. She had a man the whole time. Right. Wow. And I was okay with that because it was like, I. This is, this was at the time. Don't judge me. But I knew she wasn't with a girl at first her, but I knew I liked it. Her.

A (88:47)

Yeah. So had you been with women previous?

B (88:50)

Yeah.

A (88:51)

Okay.

B (88:51)

Yeah. I've been bisexual all my life.

A (88:54)

How old were you the first woman you got with?

B (88:56)

Oh, that's a good question. I would say, like 17 was my first girl. It was a relationship. We didn't do anything, but we just like, made out all the time.

A (89:10)

And it Was, was it like a full on relationship?

B (89:11)

Like girlfriends, high school, you know?

A (89:14)

Yeah.

B (89:14)

Yeah. I wasn't ever sexual until later on in the years, but yeah, that was my first girlfriend. Evander Child's high school in the Bronx. Dominican girl. Yeah.

A (89:26)

She's having flashbacks. I love it.

B (89:31)

So, yeah.

A (89:32)

So the sin, the sin situation I've always thought was a storyline. It wasn't like, it wasn't.

B (89:38)

I really, really liked it. Her. But she had a white boyfriend at the time.

A (89:41)

Yeah.

B (89:42)

And I was just like, keep him. Because in my mind I'm like, he's not going to be around long. Like, yeah, I'm your first girl. Let me show you what it's like. This way you could come over here happily, freely, without, on your own, without us making a mess. Yeah. You know, like that was kind of my take on.

A (90:02)

So you were going to be Mrs. Steal your girl and I pretty much.

B (90:05)

Was up until, you know, I don't know. It's funny because to this day I'm like, I did everything I could for that girl to like set her up in the right way. Right. You know, like I made sure her contract was kind of okay. Like they did right by her. Like, there's a lot of behind the scenes stuff that I did.

A (90:28)

You felt like you worked out for her.

B (90:30)

I was the one who like, you know, set up for us to do publications for us to like, like I even, you know, decided like let's, you know, let's start some type of like T shirt because we, we built a fan base, you know, just overnight. And I was like, let's capitalize on this. So I used, I used my own money and started to make T shirts with our, our pictures on it. And like we would sell it every week. Love and hip hop was airing and it was like, okay, like let's. And my plan was I'm gonna put the money up, up, use this money and we can do like a real clothing line together. Yeah. You know, like I was already kind of like setting up our, our future in a way. Like a real daddy.

A (91:09)

Well, I mean, you guys were both two beautiful women.

B (91:11)

Yeah.

A (91:11)

And that got together on reality tv.

B (91:14)

And I really went after her. Like I really, really genuinely liked her.

A (91:17)

And this was in a time when people weren't having same sex relationships on tv. So that was something new.

B (91:22)

And I think that's why too. It resonated so loudly where people were at first, at first we got backlash because people were like, yeah, you, you shouldn't be faking. And I was like, oh, if you only knew. It's not fake. Yeah. You know, but. Yeah, I really, really liked her. It's just with her, I don't think she was com. Like, she started. It was more of an insecurity of, like, Erica and Sin. Like, she kind of felt like, you know, she wasn't the bigger. I don't know. Oh.

A (91:49)

So it became like a competition.

B (91:50)

Like, I think that's what it. Where. It's where it went and left with her. Honestly, genuinely, I really, really do do. Because it was like Eric and Sin. Eric and Sin. Eric and Sin. And at one point, I remember we. We had an argument and she was like, why is it never sit in Erica? And that's when it went light bulb. Oh, that's where all this is kind of coming from.

A (92:10)

Oh.

B (92:11)

And then, you know, before you knew it, it was like she was just trying to find everything wrong with me.

A (92:16)

But what a crazy way to look at it, though. Instead of just being like, you know what? I'll be the. You're in your masculine energy. She was in her feminine.

B (92:23)

I definitely was in my masculine energy.

A (92:25)

Like, yes. Like, somebody's got to. Of the relationship. So let me leave.

B (92:29)

Exactly. But that's how I am with all my females. I tend to be the man. Yeah.

A (92:34)

So, yeah, I believe it.

B (92:36)

I tend to be. So. So, yeah, that's kind of where we went. Left. And then before you knew it, the producers got wind of that and. And they. And they rolled with the punches of like, okay, yeah, like the drama.

A (92:49)

Yeah.

B (92:49)

So. And then, you know, it worked to her benefit because, mind you, I came on Love and hip hop as the village villain. So, you know, people already have that mentality that, that.

A (93:01)

How do you trust people in this business when everything is a storyline?

B (93:06)

Once, okay, I came on, the narrative was, I'm the bad guy. The audience, like, is set on that. I'm. That's what they. They've been seeing all this time. That's what they were made to believe. So that's what it's been. And it's still, to this day has been that. Right. That's why, you know, the YouTuber was able to run with.

A (93:28)

So back to safari.

B (93:29)

Yeah. But that's why. Okay, so. And it's funny because I want people to remember that because of how I came in and that whole narrative of being the bad guy and, like the crazy girl and this and that, that has been stuck to me like glue since I started. Right.

A (93:48)

It's kind of like the Scarlet.

B (93:49)

So it doesn't matter what real Life. Shit happens. Whether I'm at fault or not, people want to believe that. So when you deal with someone, I.

A (93:58)

Think also, though, you have always showed how strong you are, that people are like, oh, Erica, I'll get over it. You know? And that's not fair to you. That's really not fair to you, especially when you go through. And the more we uncover the layers of this relationship. This is an abusive relationship. That this man is creating a narrative and painting a narrative, and that's what narcissists do.

B (94:19)

Based off of my. My. How you call that? Reputation. Yes, my reality show reputation.

A (94:25)

Once a narcissist loses control of his supply, he controls the narrative. And that's what I've been watching happen with you guys. And you and I have been talking for months about this entire situation, and you finally have just gotten to a point where you're just like, I'm not gonna keep letting this man paint me as this bad human, you know, because he did an interview with Jason Lee eight months ago. Can we bring that in?

B (94:48)

Eight months ago.

A (94:49)

This year?

B (94:49)

Yeah, this very year. Eight months ago. Go.

A (94:52)

Yeah. He did this interview.

B (94:53)

This is before he decided to be a YouTuber, right? Of course. Yes. What the.

A (95:04)

So they brought him a cake out, and this was a divorce cake. And in this divorce cake, he is talking to Erica, which I thought was so weird.

B (95:14)

Listen, I'm. I'm only blowing this because it's on fire. I'm just not celebrating being divorced because I love my children's mother and my kids still, no matter what the situation may be. But God, just keep blessing every union that I'm a part of. Friends, family, everybody. You know, this cake is starting to look like a person that I could vent to. I appreciate you for where you've taken me in life. You know, we have a connection that somehow we just can't let go of. And I really think you're an amazing person. Individually, we may not be good for each other right now, but at one point in life, we could be. And I love you, I care about you, and no matter what, I got your back. Cake is vegan, too.

A (96:07)

Go ahead and pause it right there. So this was eight months ago.

B (96:11)

This was eight months ago.

A (96:11)

So let's circle back. You guys end up.

B (96:13)

This was around the time he was shooting for the villain show that he's on. And let's just. The whole time he was there, he was like, I'm. When I come home, I promise this time. Like, mind you, this has been a reoccurring thing.

A (96:30)

Right. So that's what I was gonna say. Let's paint this picture because this was eight months ago. So after he courted you for three years, you finally gave in and decided to, you know, be with this man. You guys had pretty much like a short lived marriage, correct?

B (96:43)

Very short. It was.

A (96:44)

You got. You guys got together, what, 20, 19, we got married.

B (96:47)

2019 was together 20, we had our daughter pandemic. You know, we were stuck together. Yeah. And then 20, 22, we officially divorced. And a week after our divorce, this man calls me hysterically crying, right? Claiming he wanted to hurt himself because he made the biggest mistake of his life.

A (97:11)

And this is all public record. You guys have had a pretty. I don't want to use the word sloppy, but pretty intense, intensely sloppy divorce. And, you know, it's two people that are hurt. Obviously, you guys had a very passionate thing. You guys, you know, two beautiful babies have came from this situation, you know, and it doesn't have to be like this. You know, he seems eight months ago to be singing your praises. So can you tell us what has transpired since?

B (97:39)

Oh, my God, a lot.

A (97:41)

Yeah.

B (97:42)

I mean, there's just so much to. To tell because it's been three years of this. But we got in divorce in 2022. A week after we got divorced, he called me hysterically crying, claiming he wanted to, like, hurt himself because he made the biggest mistake of his life. And. And I remember that day so vaguely because literally it. The way he was hysterically crying on the phone and, you know, pouring his heart out, I felt like, because I'd be lying if I said when I initially filed for divorce that I really wanted the divorce. I didn't. I filed for divorce with the intention of him getting his shit together there.

A (98:30)

And calling his bluff.

B (98:31)

Yeah.

A (98:32)

What was the reasoning? What did he need to get together? What was his shit that he needed to get together?

B (98:39)

I won't get into detail of it too much, but I found out he was cheating on me the first time ever. And he was going to Chinese parlors.

A (98:55)

Not the old rub and tube. Damn.

B (98:57)

In the dark, old women.

A (99:00)

Damn it. Oh, safari. Come on.

B (99:03)

And when I found that out, I was completely, obviously, disgusted, heartbroken. Going through.

A (99:08)

Well, didn't Nicki Minaj say that he was paying for hookers with her credit cards?

B (99:12)

Before we get into that, can I just. Because we. We are talking on the subject of her. I owe her the biggest apology ever. I owe her an apology because like a lot of us women tend to do when we don't know Any better, especially when we're hard, deep wrapped, warped into the love bombing phase is the red flag that us women tend to ignore. When a man sits there and talks to you love bombs about his ex and all the things she did to him. And it's funny how life comes full circle because the same thing he did to her, he's doing to me. Years later, I remember him pouring his heart out to me about all the stuff she did to him, showing me videos of her reacting. And at the time you're love, you're in a love bomb. I didn't think to ask, well, what did you do to her? Right. You're just showing me all this stuff that he. She's doing, she's how she's reacting. Right.

A (100:28)

Why does this man always have videos of these women reacting?

B (100:31)

Exactly. And now, mind you, this is a video he was at one point going around, I found out later on he was going around the industry showing to like around the time he was trying to bring her down when he was lying to people, saying that he wrote for her, like literally saying whatever he could to like kind of ruin her career and take her credibility for her real hard earned work.

A (100:53)

And what is the video of?

B (100:56)

She was chasing him. And I won't get into too detailed because I don't feel like, you know, yeah. Being that I'm in her shoes now, I feel like she's owed the respect to like, I don't. But come to find out he had broke the laptop that had her Pink Friday album on it on purpose and then videoed her reaction and of course she went off. Yeah, he's recording it. So rewind, fast forward to me being with him. I'm down to the mother partaking and agreeing in these conversations. Oh my God, she's the devil. Blah, blah, she did all this stuff. Blah, blah, blah. So anyway, I owe this woman an apology because I, I sat there and allowed him to talk to her about, talk about her to me. And from that came me saying things and like defending and vouching for him and speaking up on her in a way that was tacky because at the end of the day I didn't know the truth, especially not the truth that I know now. And we do that. A lot of women do that. They get caught up with a man and he's so good to you that you allow him to gossip to you about his ex.

A (102:21)

You get manipulated.

B (102:22)

Yeah. And they, and they never tell you what they did, they just tell you what they did and how crazy she is. And she did this and she did that.

A (102:29)

It's called reaction.

B (102:30)

I owe her such an apology because it's so crazy how life. It's not crazy. It's just life, but it comes full circle. It. Tables always turn. Everything she has ever said about him is true. Everything that she had went through with.

A (102:45)

Him.

B (102:47)

I'm going through it worse. You know, like you said, she definitely aired him out for paying prostitutes with her credit card. Yeah, I think. Well, first of all, he cheated on me going to a parlor. And how I found out out is completely embarrassing. How.

A (103:09)

How did you find out? But before you go into that, I just want to say I think that is so big of you to apologize to Nikki like that.

B (103:15)

Yeah, I do. I. And I feel like a lot of other people. I feel like anyone who. Who ever sided with him during that time that they broke up, because he was really like. He taunted her to this. Not too long ago, before he came at me for the YouTube, he taunted her by going to her concert.

A (103:35)

Can you pull that up for us? Can you put Safari at Nicki Minaj concert? Like, I think I thought this was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Was that weird?

B (103:43)

Because you're saying that you're going there to make. Because you're proud of her. So why didn't you sit in a box?

A (103:51)

Yeah.

B (103:52)

Calm, cool, collective. Watch the show like a normal person. No, he went there with vlogging everything.

A (103:59)

Yeah.

B (103:59)

And then had the nerve to stand, I think, in the middle of the stairs. So everybody.

A (104:04)

Because, see, he was there and somebody.

B (104:06)

He went there to make a shit show appearance.

A (104:10)

He went there to get a headline.

B (104:11)

A headline. And to provoke her, knowing she's moved on, she's married, she has a family. Every chance you get to talk about her. You do. Yeah. It has not stopped.

A (104:25)

Yeah.

B (104:26)

Since you guys have broken up. Yeah. And he does it every time for clout and attention. Him going to this concert was for one reason and one reason only. He wanted her to react in some way. Right.

A (104:41)

We're gonna pull up the clip right now so that you guys can see it. Sorry, we have an hour.

B (104:47)

No, you're good light here. It's. You're not even in a seat.

A (104:59)

It looks like he's in the bleachers. Where is. Where is he sitting? You could definitely tell he was not a guest at the seat.

B (105:06)

Then you have. And then you have eight security because you know you're not supposed to be there.

A (105:10)

Right.

B (105:12)

It's.

A (105:12)

It's weird. It's definitely. This was weird.

B (105:14)

And this is the thing. This is what I don't understand about people. It's like, okay, so first it was her that he taunted for, I guess, subscription subscribers. That and attention for his YouTube. Now that he's a newfound YouTuber.

A (105:30)

Right.

B (105:31)

He got the social media viral conversation that he wanted, but it wasn't enough traffic for his YouTube. So now all of a sudden, he wants to speak up on why he's being a deadbeat.

A (105:47)

So how did you find out that he was going to these rubbing hugs? This is where people can understand where the. Your anger is coming from.

B (105:56)

Yeah.

A (105:56)

Because that's a heavy situation while you're pregnant and to have to go and confront the man that you love.

B (106:03)

So because. So people are like, oh, well, you filed for divorce while you were pregnant. And I'm like, oh, yeah.

A (106:13)

So any other woman in their right mind would have filed for divorce.

B (106:16)

So that's kind of how I found out. And I. I kind of of like, went the off. I remember that. I was just like, what is going on? Like, what is this?

A (106:24)

Like, so he wasn't just doing rub and tugs. He was actually having sex with these people.

B (106:29)

Clearly.

A (106:30)

Wow.

B (106:32)

And from what I gather, because I did my homework. And it's funny because it's the same. A week later that he confessed this. This same rubber tug place was on the news in Atlanta for being shot at. Up.

A (106:47)

Okay, so this makes perfect sense because in that Jason Lee video interview, he talks about how Atlanta was a dark place for him.

B (106:55)

Yeah. Probably was, because he was going to these parlors and. And what? I did my research. They were all old women. Oh, God. And it's in the dark. So you don't even know what you're getting or what it looks like or anything. It's just in the dark.

A (107:12)

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A (109:25)

That's, that's like a glory hole, literally.

B (109:28)

So with that being said, and, and then I'll take full accountability. I do have to take accountability because with him, my mind was not stronger than my feelings and my boundaries was absolutely not stronger than my sympathy. I love this man so madly that even with all the bullshit because he's been allowed to come back so many.

A (110:06)

Times, you loved him more than you loved yourself.

B (110:09)

I wouldn't say that. But because I see the way I love, I love so hard that I'm not letting go that easily. Right? You know, and that's, that's a flaw I have. And I love the out of me. But what I love, I love. So it's like, is it a flaw? It is to a certain extent. Because I have to learn which I have with him, when to let go a lot sooner. You know, like, because like Letting go someone you love, like, the way I feel it is. So it kills me. Even though I know this is not good for me, it kills me. So that's where I was at with it. And. And after I found out and he confessed, you know what he confessed. I remember calling his mom and confiding in her, and that's kind of where our relationship went. Left just because. Oh, does that woman make excuses?

A (111:12)

Well, she's probably the reason why he is the way he is.

B (111:15)

It's absolutely the reason why she. He is the way she is. And I know that because, you know, with our daughter, it was during the pandemic, and he would be jealous of the way I always had to breastfeed her. You know, like, the baby always has to be on you. Oh, she's still on you. And then just the way I'm so affectionate with my baby. Oh, no one ever hugged and kissed me like that when I was so little. Little things that he would say, like, that resonated with me. And that's why, too, I. I made sure to, like, go up and beyond. I would cook, clean, and. Oh, my God, the type of affection I would give him, there was nothing I wouldn't do for him. You know, like, he. He would ask me something, and I. There's ne. There was never a time I would say no. Like, oh, my God. Right. So anyway, where was I at?

A (112:11)

We were talking about why you filed for divorce.

B (112:14)

So, yeah, I called the mother and, like, you know, asked. Asked, you know, told her, and she made this, like, shitload of excuses for him. Everything but taking. Having her son, taking accountability or her even, you know, coming out to maybe speak to him in person or whatever. So anyway, I decided to get counseling for us, and we started doing marriage counseling. And then before you knew it, you know, things just.

A (112:44)

Was the counseling working at all?

B (112:45)

It was for a little bit, but then we started, like, doing construction on our house, and he didn't really know much about. So things were becoming extremely hectic. And the responsibility of that, I think, you know, kind of just made him, like, you know, feel extremely overwhelmed. Next, you know, he just. The cheating just became never ending. Like, that's when he started cheating on me with the. The Tumi version, Erica Mena, that he eventually brought on the show, and it just never stopped. And it was. He didn't care if it was on the blogs. He didn't care if it was, you know, so at that point, it was just like, okay, after, like, the third three girl, I was just like, I'M gonna file for divorce. So I filed for divorce, and it sucked for me because I. When he confessed the whole, you know, going to the parlor thing, it grossed me out. But at the same time, the way he was just crying hysterically and, like, saying how sorry he was and that, you know, something was wrong with him, I took it as, this is my husband. It's for better, for worse. In marriages, shit happens. I can run from this, or I can do my job, do my part as a wife, and stick by my man, and let's go through this in secret behind closed doors and deal with it. So that's what I did. I decided to still be with him even after that happened. But the cheating just didn't stop.

A (114:31)

It was like, just one. It's like.

B (114:33)

It was like, yeah.

A (114:34)

One disrespect after the other.

B (114:35)

Oh, my God. And it just was never ending. And I was. I was pregnant with Legend, and it was so bad, to the point, you know, even after our house got robbed, this man was so scared to be in the house with him and his children, his wife and his children. He got a hotel. And even. Even later on, I found out in the divorce, he even bought another house. Had. I had no idea. But, like, left me in the house that just got robbed because he was too scared to stay there. But it was good enough for me and the kids to stay there. And, you know, just taunted me when I tell you the cheating was just never ending, and it was all public and, you know, and. And I'm just eating, eating, sticking by, like. And going through this divorce, and. And as time went on, it was just like, okay, so I did make the right decision. I thought when I fought for divorce, he would wake up. When I fought for divorce, it got worse. He cheated on me with everybody and anybody he possibly could.

A (115:35)

It's just.

B (115:36)

And it's sick, because these women that he was dealing with knew he was married, and it just was like, no shame.

A (115:42)

I feel like all of us women have been in relationships like this, that we all have one nightmare relationship where we can completely relate to each other. You and the anger and the just absolute, like, feralness that comes with. After you have just been beat down, emotionally beat down, verbally beat down, sometimes physically, it unleashes an animal in you that is really hard to explain unless you've been through that and the rage that comes from that sort of thing, because, one, you're embarrassed. Two, you're. You know, it's embarrassment, humiliation. You've got these babies. You're also going through postpartum.

B (116:24)

Oh my God. It was horrible.

A (116:26)

This is the lowest part of your life.

B (116:28)

It was bad. Like, I was literally ovulating at 29 weeks. I was like 2 centimeters open. Oh, it got so bad. One time he had went out with one of our cast members and was just gyrating with some girl and it was all over the blogs. I woke up one day and I just lost it. I'm like, this man literally violated me and put me in jeopardy. But he doesn't stop. And I'm pregnant and I'm like. So I saw this all over the block vlogs. This one particular incident, I went crazy. I literally took all because he's a materialistic person. So I already knew what to do to get back at him and it wasn't right. But at the same time, I just lost it.

A (117:21)

It's called reactive abuse.

B (117:22)

Yeah. So I lost it. Put all his sneakers in a big garbage can and I just put paint on it. And it was a great little release. But even that, it was just like, it was just never ending. And he purposely just put me through hell forever. Like it was just nonstop. Stop. At one point I was literally. And this was all documented on love and hip hop. I was literally on in, like in, in the hospital by myself. Wired up them keeping track of the baby because I was ovulating so early. I finally gave birth at 32 weeks and two day three days after legend was born, he decided to go to Jamaica with his friend's ex girlfriend. Bounty killer's ex girlfriend, out of all people suspend his birthday.

A (118:12)

This is just so hurtful. And you're just lying in bed and I'm just having to watch this.

B (118:16)

And at that point, and this is the whole. And this is the stuff that mind boggles me about people. It's like, okay, you guys, how soon? Like, because people have short term memory. They do. It's. It's hard to keep up. Life goes on, right? But this is the same man that it's been moving like a deadbeat. From the time his last born was born, Legend was still on feeding tubes in the nicu. I was having to drive an hour because where I gave birth at the hospital was an hour away. And our house was another and we had Sapphire who was just turned one, so I had to court. I had to like literally switch out days and nights all by myself. The mother didn't fly in, the sister didn't fly in. It was just friends of mine and his brother at the time, his wife at the Time that was helping me. My manager came in at one point, like, just, you know, people that could help me was flying in to handle Sapphire so that I can go to the hospital, pump and just kind of be there with the baby, give him, you know, like, skin to skin as much as possible. And the whole time he's in Jamaica, living his best life, gyrating his hips, like, as if he didn't just have a baby who's still in the nicu, literally. So I dealt with all of that.

A (119:33)

This man has no sense of responsibility whatsoever. And like.

B (119:36)

And it's like. And this is before the whole YouTube fabricated.

A (119:41)

Yeah, we're.

B (119:42)

And we're getting story he puts together. It's like, it.

A (119:47)

I think it's.

B (119:47)

It goes way even before that, like, Legend was not even out of the hospital. And it's funny because the day he left that I last saw him, he was supposed to bring up the car seat because, you know, I just gave birth. You're not supposed to carry things heavy. Whatever. He told me he was going to go get the car seat and never came back. Never came back. It wasn't until I saw him. Him on his Instagram in Jamaica that I even. So, yeah, it's. It's sick. And then when I called the mama, like, I'm engorged. I have this baby here. Like, tell him come home. Like, what's going on? Like, you know what she told me? To this day, I just, like, I still can't wrap my head, you being a woman. Okay, who claims you did it all by yourself, too. You were mistreated by his dad or whatever. How you can put this together to tell a woman that your son just married and just. She just gave birth to your grandson. She's literally. I was at my weakest point, so vulnerable, out of it, obviously embarrassed, hurting. Not only postpartum, but heartbroken because of all the shit your son's putting me through. I'm calling you to ask you to please, like, do something. Get him. Like, tell him to come home. You know, mind you. Yeah, I did file for divorce, but still, like, these babies, they're still here. Like, yeah, we're gonna just have a heart. She literally told me, good thing you file for divorce. You won't have to deal with him much longer, is what she told me. Literally. And I just remember because I know, obviously being around. Around them long enough, I know the Jamaican sling slang. I literally told her. Her. I was like, the fact that you can tell me that while your son is living his life right now, as a complete waste man. And in Jamaican culture, a waste man is like the bottom of the bottom. Right, Right. She didn't like the message. So from then, our relationship just kind of has been whatever. But for her to even tell me something like that, it was just like, come on, woman. You, obviously, you have no respect for me either, so it is what it is. And with all due respect. Yeah.

A (122:25)

And you also, you.

B (122:27)

I should have really said you raised a waste man, which I probably have at some point, because.

A (122:33)

And also, you know, it's. There's just so much here to unpack, and.

B (122:38)

Oh, my God, I don't even know where. Like, there's so much.

A (122:41)

It's crazy that, like, how do we.

B (122:42)

Put this in sound bites so that my voice gets. We got.

A (122:46)

We got this.

B (122:46)

I'm like, there's just so much to unpack.

A (122:48)

There's so much pain here. And the fact that people can even look at the situation inside with this man is. Is it mindboggles me. Yeah.

B (122:57)

And. And I. And like I said, I got to take accountability because I just wasn't strong enough. I, I. This has been going on and on because I let it. I have to take accountability in that.

A (123:08)

Absolutely.

B (123:08)

To the point that he was allowed.

A (123:10)

To do this, but that doesn't mean that you deserved this, because.

B (123:14)

But at the same time, like, I took him back too many times to count. Right. You know, like, it's. It's just not like I allowed it to be to this point, and even now, it's. It's sick. So, okay, so then, you know, that all happened, and then here we are. Legend, you know, turns one, he's nowhere to be found. But it's funny, because anytime you guys have ever seen this man, him really be with the kids, it's because he's in the process of trying to get his family back, which means we're kind of on decent terms. Right?

A (123:55)

Which is. Was this about eight months ago that this. That you guys were still on good terms when he.

B (123:59)

Well, this particular podcast. Yeah, he was. He had just got done filming the Villain show.

A (124:04)

Right.

B (124:05)

And the whole time he was filming, anytime he got his phone, he was FaceTiming. Sorry. He was FaceTiming me. Right. And swearing up and down. Like, when I come home. I swear, this time is different. You know, even when he won, he was like, I won. I'm gonna use this 200k and I'm gonna. I'm gonna buy you another ring, and we're gonna do this again, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I love you so much e. Like, you gave me my kids. There's nothing. I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm so sorry. I swear. I'm gonna prove to you, girl. I have text messages, I have videos, I have just like he can, like, I could too. Like, I. I wish we had time for all the messages that I, I wish you guys could read. Because this man, when I tell you, when he goes through that, that moment of like trying to get me back, the way he pours his heart out in text messages with his words and then how he does his gestures, sending flowers, buying me jewelry, like, it's just. It's just intense. And then he'll come over to my house and, you know, won't leave. He'll act like he's coming to get the kids, but won't leave. Things like that. That. It's just. It's. It's been non stop since the time we officially got divorced. So we got divorced in 2022. And the week after we got divorced, he. That's when it really started. Like he would, you know, claim how he wanted his family back and that he was going to hurt himself and. And this one particular call the week after we got divorced was so intense. I really believe, believed him that he, that I, you know.

A (125:43)

You loved him.

B (125:44)

Yeah. And obviously with my experience of what he did, you know, when I was pregnant, I knew he needed help, you know, and even though I should have ran my. I loved him so much that I was just like, this is just our story. Like it's this way in Toxic Fairy Tale. Yeah. And like, like I'm gonna, I'm gonna get him, right? Like I'm gonna. We're gonna get this together. Especially because the way when our love was good, it was good. Like Safari is so funny. He's charming. He's a like great spirit when he's great. And in that. You know what I mean? Like, that's why I was friends with him too, for so long. Like, I didn't want him for so long. But then when I first, like when I realized, like there was. Because trust me, everything I could do in my power to scare this man away, I did. I remember one time I invited him to come to Cancun. I had a friend of mine's had, like bought me a trip for my birthday and I was there by myself. And I like, last minute, just decided, man, let me have him come. When I tell you he came the next day. No hesitation. I was drunk. I was acting a fool. When I tell You. I literally treated this man like a peasant. Like here, grabbed my bags, here, I'm drunk, carry me to the room. Like there was nothing. Like I just abused this man. Like I knew he liked me so much, but in, in reality I was just like, he likes me. I'm just. I don't like him. I'm just not gonna take it serious. And I'm just gonna give him a hell. And nothing scared him away. And trust me, I did everything in my power to discuss him. You know, I probably even threw up that trip because I was so wasted. He. He nurtured me, cared like there was no getting rid of this man. So anyway, because he didn't let me or leave me alone. And I know what it is like to be with him because when he's into you, he's very attentive. He goes all out. He's so romantic. The way he can text you and get your panties wet. The way he's just so romantic. Just in general, he's super like into you. He makes you feel like he is going to do anything he can to level up your life. You know, like he does what he needs to do. Oh my God. He can sell a dream. And then because he's funny, he's charming and, and all of these things, it's kind of like. It's. It's. Once you're swapped, you're swapped by him. It's bad. Like it's so bad. Cuz he has that gift. But the gift he has that he's not using it in a. You know what I mean?

A (128:33)

The women that are listening to this, that have been through this, know exactly.

B (128:37)

God, he's so good.

A (128:39)

You are preaching to your, your crowd here.

B (128:42)

Good. Like so it doesn't matter.

A (128:44)

And the sex is always phenomenal.

B (128:46)

Oh my God. It's like this man devours me and does everything in his power to please me. Right. This man will literally beg for fluids of me just because he's like, I want all of you. Yeah. And as weird as it is, you see it in his eyes. You're like, okay. And you give it and then you're like, this is the weirdest shit ever. But this is like that's how deep he dives into to you. And before you know it, you're consumed. And because when it comes to sex, girl, he goes all the out.

A (129:24)

Yeah.

B (129:25)

Like all the out to please that man can like literally, he can turn probably a butch lesbian straight, given the opportunity. Because he dives deep.

A (129:38)

Yeah.

B (129:38)

And there's nothing he won't do to satisfy you.

A (129:42)

Yeah.

B (129:43)

So with all of that, it didn't matter how much he did in the past, when he goes after you and when he would go after me, all of that dis. And I forget about it and I'm remembering and I'm just indulging in the now.

A (129:58)

It's a cycle.

B (129:58)

It's a. Oh my God. It's a neverending cycle. And it's funny because he knows my weaknesses. He also knows, even though. I should say, even though he does everything in his power to like, please me, cater to me, shower me, he also knows how to trigger. Right? And when he's bored, triggers and what triggers? That he. That he attacks the up and down. Oh my God. There's a lot that he does to like, trigger me. And it's sick because he does it because he knows. So like, there's times where I'm just like, why are you doing this to me? Like, enough is enough. Like you even X, Y and Z, Z. Oh, I didn't do that to you like that.

A (131:05)

Oh, that'll do.

B (131:06)

You know what I'm saying?

A (131:07)

Blind rage.

B (131:08)

And it's like he'll deny it and then there's times and.

A (131:14)

And it's crazy because most abusers try to rewrite history.

B (131:18)

Oh my God. So he'll do things right, and then he'll set me off and Because. And this is really the core of it. He's the non confrontational confrontation person. Stirs up so much confrontation, but has. Has this cool, laid back demeanor about it. So he'll set me off. He'll. He'll. He'll violate me and disrespect me. I'll go off. And then I'm feeling sorry that I went off when it's like, I have a right to go off, off. But because he doesn't, you know, react and loves my re. But indulges in the way I react. He won't react and go crazy, but I will. And then it's me feeling sorry and then I end up apologizing for things that I shouldn't be apologizing for. And then it's like, it's okay. I know, I know, I know you're hot head it. I know you're an emotional. What is this thing? I know you're very. You're uncontrol. You're. You.

A (132:26)

You emotionally unstable.

B (132:28)

There you go. I know you're emotionally unstable. And they.

A (132:33)

While they get you so flustered too, that like, you don't even know your words. Because I've Been in relationships like that for a while.

B (132:40)

It's like, is it me?

A (132:43)

I got into a relationship where I was in a relationship where I had to record what he would say to me in arguments, because whenever I would react, he would say, I didn't say that. And I finally got to a point where I was like, yes, you did. And I would hit play and then have to. And then that's when that was the. The beginning of the end because he. I wouldn't let him manipulate and lie anymore.

B (133:04)

Right. Right.

A (133:05)

It's really sick with.

B (133:06)

Right.

A (133:06)

These people.

B (133:07)

Yeah. I wish I was smart enough for that.

A (133:09)

I just got to a point where I was like, I know I'm not.

B (133:12)

Crazy, because I would be like, we like you. You did X, Y, and Z. This is why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. And then he'll be like, well, you have to let it go. And at one point, no, he wanted.

A (133:24)

Don't get disrespectful.

B (133:25)

He wanted me to get back with him. Like, this man would camp out at my house and in front of my kids, beg for me back. That to this day, my daughter's a little confused, and she kind of blames me. Like. Like, you broke up with Daddy. That's why I don't have a daddy in my house.

A (133:42)

House.

B (133:43)

And he would literally be on his knees, like, please, just take me back. Look at our kids. Look at our family. Please, I'll do whatever it takes. And then he'll go to Sapphire, Sapphire, tell mommy not to break up with me. And she'll just be there, like, come on, Mommy, let's be. You know, like, he knows all those. Like those times in my living room, how he would literally. And. And. And it. It's. It's sick because. Because even in the video that he used on YouTube, he used with his sister being the fool to film it. There's a clip where he shows my daughter hysterically crying how she doesn't want to come back home to my house. And it's sick because it's like, you know why she's crying, so can we. She knows she's not gonna see you for a long time because she's used to it already, therefore, she doesn't want to leave you. She's obsessed with her daddy, and he does not give her an opportunity to. To really have time with. With him. So anyway, it. It's been back and forth of him just for three years, of him just trying to get back with me on numerous occasions. It's. It's I will start dating, meeting. He'll get wind, and next thing you know, it's him sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching our old scenarios. And then it's the him pouring his heart out to me. I'm sorry. And it's like, you know, I'm talking to someone right now. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like I've been trying to move on with my life for a long time, but anytime he finds out that I'm like, dating someone, one, it's him coming back, buying jewelry or, you know, acting like he's coming to pick up the kids. And then for him, not. And then he doesn't leave. You know what I mean? Or, you know, and. And that's really what it comes down to now that, you know, in May of this year, I had enough. I had enough, enough, enough. I'm the reason why we haven't been together in that way. Because the person that I became. Okay, there's just so much to unfold with this. But.

A (136:21)

I think you're doing a great job.

B (136:23)

There's so much to talk about is just.

A (136:25)

People need to hear your truth.

B (136:30)

I was on a date last year. Oh, let's talk about this. The type of shit I deal with that triggers me. Let's go back to the triggering part. He was using this Miami girl character for a storyline line, which he confessed he only did because he wanted to prove to me that he didn't need me to be on Love and Hip Hop. So anyway, he decides to kind of fake like this Miami girl character that's on Miami Love and Hip Hop Miami. And at that time, he was about six months behind, purposely in paying child support. Now, mind you, I'm still on Love and Hip Hop at this point, but I have the kids. He's on Love and Hip Hop in Miami, and he's only 30 minutes away. He wasn't using his weekly parenting time, and he was months at least at this time. He was like six months behind on paying child support. Anywho, I'm thugging it. I'm flying with the kids to and from Miami to Atlanta to film and, you know, kind of do my. My what I'm contractually binded to do. Right? Next, you know, it goes viral. He's buying this chick's kids Rolexes. He's literally deliberately buying another man's children Rolexes and has this whole draw. They have this whole drawn out birthday party for these kids. Right. Mind you, this man is six months right behind on child support. Hasn't seen the kids kids is indulging in this whole storyline that he even admitted he was just doing so that he can prove that he didn't need me to be on loving hip hop.

A (138:22)

He also said that they've never even had sex. Right?

B (138:25)

Girl, that whole like I don't know who's worse, him or her when it comes to that whole scenario. Like she's just as desperate as he is. Because I'd be damn if a man who doesn't even have real intentions for me is going to be using my kids kids as some pro. Like as some. As some. I don't even know what you call it, but it's sick on her part. Yeah. Like pawns. Like as a mom, you're. You. You're allowing your kids first birthday to be a staged scenario so that it could look like this man is about you when really in reality isn't attracted to you. You know what I'm saying? Like. Like anyway, so it goes viral. Of course I'm going to say something. You haven't seen your kids and how much and you're purposely not paying your child support on time to spite me to financially, you know, be an. Is what you're trying to do, right? I. Things like that he's. He does to trigger me. Right.

A (139:29)

I'm just saying I don't understand how people can't see that he's poking the bear.

B (139:33)

And even when I was pregnant, he was dating the Tumi version of. Of me. Right. For Valentine's Day, he. He fills up this girl's small little apartment with flowers. The same thing he used to do with me. Had. Didn't bring Pampers. Like literally when. When I filed for divorce, buying Pampers, buying clothes, none of this was being done. So when you know your kid's father financially can buy extravagant gifts for these random women after you just had two of his kids back to back and he doesn't even drop off a box of Pampers. Who in their right mind is not going to put that on child support? That's the reason why Safaree is on child support. Because when I file for divorce, he never once thought for a second, let me drop off Pampers. Let me see if the kids need clothes. Let me. What do the kids need in general? General. Never. Never asked what these kids needed. Right? So I knew if it was like this already, it was going to get worse. And it did. So therefore, when it was time to finalize our divorce, I made it mandatory that child support was implemented, which my first kid father Wasn't on child support, but he also did what the fuck he had to do.

A (140:51)

But which is not a bad thing. That's why child support is implemented in the court system.

B (140:55)

Yeah, but as long as you're not. If this man, man, if we're together or not, these kids are your kids, right? If he was riding for these kids the way he rides for whatever woman he's on for the moment, we would be so good. Because regardless of what you. There are baby mamas out there that don't have to talk shit or say anything about their baby daddies. Why? Because they do what the fuck they have to do. There are baby mamas that live a good life of not having to talk ill on their baby daddies whatsoever. Because these men are doing what they have to do. Not all, but a lot of them do.

A (141:34)

I don't consider you talking ill. You're telling the truth. So are you not allowed to speak your truth?

B (141:40)

And that's in order to save his reputation. And that's what it's been. And that's why so like a crock of shit how everyone's like, oh, he's been quiet for so long. He's been quiet for so long because he cannot deny anything I have said about him. Up until him randomly now having this new YouTuber found urge where he can edit that he started and, and, and stirred up, you know what I'm saying?

A (142:07)

And let's talk about these videos. Can we bring up these videos, Mimi, that we have of Erica climbing over the fence? That's my girl climbing over the fence. And then also like trying to get into his house. And then the only thing I do have, didn't agree with in here, and I understand that this is where your rage is coming from, is the babies are, are seeing all of this.

B (142:31)

You know that one? Yes. So, okay, so let's break this down.

A (142:35)

Yeah. What's happening in this clip right here?

B (142:40)

Okay, so pause, wait, pause. Because I'm gonna get to that. Yeah, keep that there because I want to show you. I want to tell you this. Go. This goes along with the climbing the fence. So anyway, that first initial video, I had went to his house to pick up the kids. I had just came back from, from a work trip, came to pick up the kids. Prior to getting there, he was telling me how he finally had some money for me. So one of the moments of him trying to get back with me, he came up with this idea of putting the kids in some type of schooling, daycare, right. So that we could have More time together to fix things and build on us without the kids being around. I fell for it. So I did my homework and I ended up finding a Montessori school. Me and him went to the Montessori school, checked it out together. The lady told us how much it cost. He agreed to take on that expense. Come time to pay the school, Safaree had the nerve to tell me I paid child support. Take it out of that. So here I am now. Now left with this newfound expense that I wasn't prepared. Prepared to take on. But this is the route you want to go. You cheap, no problem. Oh, you pay for it in child support. Mind you, let me not even give you a breakdown of that. But anyway, cool.

A (144:07)

Please do. Spare us. No detail, please.

B (144:09)

So anyway, I've been taking on this new expense of the kids going to this month, Montessori school on my own. After he told me he would take this on. Now, he did this because this is around the time, like, after when it was time for him to pay up. I wasn't trying to fuck on him. So anytime I'm not trying to fuck on him. Anything he said he was going to do, he ain't doing him. Seeing the kids is not even a question. Like, if I'm not trying to fuck on him, him, or ignore what he did and kind of, you know, go with the flow and just act like we're getting back together. That's always his M.O. he won't do anything extra outside of child support, and he's damn sure not picking up these kids. That's just what it's been from. From the jump. So anyway, I get to the house and he's telling me, I got a surprise for you. And I'm like, what is it? And he tells me he has the money. Money for the school. For the school. I get there, I did take a nap, right? I get. Because I live like 30, 40 minutes away, mind you. I just. Like I said, I just landed, I'm exhausted, so I take a little nap. I get up and next thing you know, he tells me he wants to talk. I'm like, okay, let's talk. He found out that I had a guy that I was hanging out with when I was on my work trip. So his initial was like, oh, so this is what we're doing. Like, I'm over here with the kids and I'm trying to make things better, and I'm just like, we're not.

A (145:57)

The call is coming from inside the house, Safaree.

B (146:03)

So anyway, I'm like, How does it feel? I'm like, leave me alone. So anyway, it's. He starts to get in his feelings and then he goes, you know what? Why don't you ask him to give you the money? I was going to give you the money. Oh, God. That started the argument and then from there him saying other nasty shit. So that initial. Sadly, whatever was.

A (146:29)

And they just happened to be recording at this moment.

B (146:32)

Well, he has cameras in his house. Okay. What are the coincidence that now he wants to fuck with me and provoke me while I'm at his house. Right. So he starts to, you know, say how he's not paying for it. And at that point, I'm not gonna lie, I was set off because I'm carrying this expense that I did not inquire. Now, mind you, this was. That was this year. That was in May, the first one where shit is going down. That was in May, Right. Okay. I got fired from Love and Hip Hop because he started a fabricated nasty story and was gossiping to me about another cast member. Me. And that cast member got into it. I said something that, you know, she. She went low. I went to hell. And for that I lost my job. So he is the reason, the big reason why I lost my job. But anyway, this is that. This is that year. This is this year.

A (147:32)

You're also carrying years of just hurt.

B (147:35)

Yeah, but my whole thing is, you know, I just lost my job. Yeah. One of my main incomes. You owe me this money because you're the one that wanted to put them into this facility. Facility.

A (147:48)

Right.

B (147:49)

You literally are in your feelings every time. I don't want to fuck on you. So you refuse to give me the money that you said you would pay for these kids. So now I'm taking on an expense that I did not originally, I wasn't prepared for. And I just lost my job because of you. Now here I am at the house to pick up the kids. You get when I'm talking to someone or I was with someone the night before. Now you're saying you're not giving me the money you owe me. Right. I'm off. Yeah. I am ticked off. So I'm telling him. I'm like, explain to me what's going. Like, explain to me why you're not going to give me this money. You're the reason why. Da, da, da. So I want answers. He's Mr. Not Confrontation. Confrontation. He knew. Telling me that he wasn't going to give me that money was going to set me off. He knew that.

A (148:38)

And then for the so what did he do?

B (148:42)

He was going to call the cops on me. So what you see there is me. First of all, I'm pissed off. You owe me that money. You owe me that money, like a couple, like a good 10 bands that you owe me. Okay. He still owes me that money to this day. But anyway. And it's even more now because it's been that long. So you tell me you're going to pay me this money, mind you. This man has no problem buying himself jewelry. Jewelry. This man has no problem buying random women that he's sleeping.

A (149:14)

He just bought Selena Powell jewelry.

B (149:16)

Did he?

A (149:17)

On his YouTube. I just saw. I mean, I didn't watch the video because I wasn't giving him the views, but that's the title of his. She said, let me not. Let me not.

B (149:25)

I don't even care. I mean, at this point, I'm so used to it.

A (149:28)

Yeah.

B (149:28)

Like, just a couple of months ago, he gifted the Miami girl a necklace. And I only seen that because that was viral. Right. You know what I'm saying? It's like. It's sick. It's like. So this particular video, like I said, he taunted me with this money, then says he's not going to pay for it. Then I'm asking him to explain to him, explain to me why he starts to, you know, call the cops. I'm just over it, B. And yes, that was completely wrong of me. And I take accountability for that. And that's the first and only time. Time that has ever happened in front of my kids, which is why my kids literally followed me out. Yeah, they. They're not scared of me. They've never seen me ever act like that in front of them ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. It's never been that way. And how he's trying to make it seem like this hap. Never. You can. My kids are proof that they have never been around that and in any kind of way. Right. You know, did I lose my. Absolutely. Because enough is enough. You're literally. You. You're the reason why I lost my job. And here you are owing me all this money for something you. You inquired about. And you. Like. This was your idea to put them into the school. You said you were going to pay for it. And because I'm not on you the way and going about things the way you want it to be. Now you don't want to pay. What? You said going to pay. Right. So it set me the off. And then him having the nerve. Now you want to call the cops on Me. You want to call the cops on me? And I have a video where I'm filming him myself. So what you see there is. I'm not trying to. I'm not putting my hands on. I'm trying to get the phone from him so I could speak to the cops myself. Because at that point, enough is enough. Yeah, enough is enough. But you know what's so crazy and sick about it all is a week after that happen, happen, guess who's calling me again, begging to be back with me. And once again sending me videos of him playing with himself, watching videos of us that he has, how much he misses me. And he. So a week after that happened, the sick bastard was back trying to get back with me.

A (151:50)

What is with him whacking off on videos?

B (151:52)

He. If you. If you've ever dealt with this man.

A (151:56)

I don't think I'm.

B (151:57)

In any kind of way. Every girl that's ever dealt with him gets those videos. It's. And I know that because I'm loving hip hop Miami. I seen a clip one time, the girl is outing him in front of the chick.

A (152:07)

Oh, no.

B (152:08)

Talking about. He sent me this video of him jerking himself.

A (152:12)

And I'm like, he's just a whack, a mole. He literally just.

B (152:15)

He loves video. He loves.

A (152:18)

He loves himself.

B (152:19)

He loves recording himself. Oiled up. Oh, the visual. He's oiled up. No. Abs out.

A (152:31)

No.

B (152:31)

And for days. It's his thing. So any woman, and I know, any woman that's ever dealt with him is.

A (152:38)

Does he have the fur coat on? That's all I want to know in any of them.

B (152:42)

I've never received them with fur coat, but maybe another woman has. But that's just his M.O. but with me in particular, it would be his laptop open with videos of me that I've even sent him in the past. Pass. You know, because he's like. He's one of those people like, loves my tits. So it's like, send me a video with your tits and your tongue out.

A (153:00)

Imagine how many other girls videos he has like that.

B (153:02)

Oh, I know. First of all, he has cameras all over his house so that any woman he sleeps with now he has on camera.

A (153:09)

Oh, gosh.

B (153:10)

It's just an automatic MO.

A (153:12)

Isn't that like a. That's a charge, isn't it?

B (153:14)

I mean, I'm. Well, if you ever go to his house and you're busting it open, just know there's. There's cameras. I mean, I mean, he could legally have cameras in his house.

A (153:22)

Yeah, absolutely.

B (153:23)

But so that's how he probably gets away with it. But I mean, there's even been. Yeah. Oiled up a week later, mind you. I'm on vacation, I'm in Tulum living my best life and I fall for it again.

A (153:38)

Erica, what the fuck? Okay, listen. I could blame him for some stuff, but now I'm gonna start.

B (153:43)

You know why? It's. It's. He is so good.

A (153:48)

This man has got you fired from your job. Jobs. He has made you look like a fool numerous times.

B (153:55)

What?

A (153:55)

And you just keep going back.

B (153:58)

Cuz it's the way he pours his heart out. And it's like. Even though you know, he. At this point, I know he has no heart. And it's still. You know what it is too. It's like I didn't have these kids to be by myself. I've already been down that road.

A (154:10)

Yeah.

B (154:11)

So I think for a while, up until May, where I got. And I'll get into that, where I actually, Ashley was just like, enough is enough.

A (154:19)

Yeah.

B (154:22)

I still had hope that he would just get his shit together, he would change.

A (154:26)

You thought that he would change. I get that. All of us women.

B (154:30)

Oh my God, it's like, like we are so like our connection. Look what he was. He was talking to a fucking cake, claiming that our connection was that. Because it, it was. It was that deep. You know what I'm saying? Like when a man devours you and your fluids and everything that comes with you, it's like, how can you not believe it? I don't seen this man do and drink and everything of me. How can I not believe him? Right? Is that tmi?

A (155:04)

You genuinely love him?

B (155:05)

I did.

A (155:06)

Yeah.

B (155:07)

I did. Are you. So that video is like.

A (155:10)

Are you still in love with Safari?

B (155:11)

No.

A (155:13)

Do you have love for him?

B (155:15)

Okay. I don't have love for him anymore. And here's why. In May, after that whole thing happened, a week goes by, he's coming back. I came back from Tulum and I indulge in him. And this is all in May. Now two days later, I get a call from one of his friends, well actually a dm, and they asked me to call them. And it's actually a friend that he hangs out with to this day in Florida. And they called me with appearance tensions. And I say this because this person is very close to him now. And this person is a standup guy, doesn't get into the mess. But he's a good guy. You can tell because of the way he moves, how he is with his Own family, so on, so forth. And he reached out to me and said, listen, listen, I think it's fair that you know, because I don't think it's fair what is being done. And I'm like, what's going on? Lord, I know he's been trying to get back with you and he's been telling me that this time is for real and that he really. And I, and I've been vouching for him like, like with it, like I think he should make things right for him. But now I'm getting nervous and I feel like you should know before you get caught up again. And I'm like getting nervous about what? So apparently he started bragging to this particular friend that he met this 20 year old girl that he's very interested in because quote, unquote, she doesn't know who he is. And that because she's not in the industry, it will be easy for him to kind of, of tell her what he wants her to know and still be able to do what he wants to do. And Bunny, I instantly became so disgusted. It was the reality check that I needed after all this time. And what's so sick about it is that no matter after everything this fucking man put me through through, it was the fact that I am now being informed that this man is now going after girls that are the same age as his niece, his baby niece.

A (158:10)

And he's.

B (158:10)

You are a 43 year old man and now you're going after this 20 year old girl because you know she doesn't know no better. And because what you can now manipulate, manipulate her because she's not in the industry. So what that means you could tell her whatever it is you want to tell her, she'll believe you and she'll play her position if she's into you enough or if you love bomb her enough. And you could still do what you have to do. So that means basically you're here trying to quote unquote, every other week trying to get your family back, but you also now have this agenda to go after a girl that doesn't know no better. A 20 year old girl. You know what that means? That mean look what he did to me and I'm in my 30s, I can't even imagine what he's about to do to a girl that's in her twenties that doesn't know any better. Right then and there I got sick to my stomach and I realized that the person that I am, that I became in that very moment has to change everything. Moving Forward like I'm the change. Like I am the one that's like in order for this because there's no changing him. All he's going to do is break me apart. Part keeps setting me off. Using the fact that I love him to the core to chip away at me to make me feel like there's something wrong with me every chance he gets and that all he cares about is his next victim. And now there's no limits because now you're going after a girl that just started life life. She has no idea at 20 years old she has no idea your what your kind is. And I just became sick because it was like he has a niece that he has been around for, you know, a baby niece that is the same age as this girl that now he's. He was bragging that he's going to be pursuing. And that's when I realized I'm like this is first not going to get any better. Two, he does need help and the help that he needs, I'm not sticking around. I have to help myself now to get over this and do what I have to do for these two babies. On top of that I have a daughter. So does he. You know what it made me think about? Like imagine some guy going after my daughter at 20 years old because she's not in the industry and she won't know any better. So this friend actually saved my life.

A (161:11)

Shout out to the homie.

B (161:12)

Shout outs to the homie. And he still rolls with him to this day. This is the first time. I'm sorry if I don't. I try to be selective in my words so he won't know who you are. But he put me onto game. He's like, he's going after this 20 year old girl. And it's funny because not too long ago I was tagged in a blog where you see him pulling this young girl that looks like she's 15. She. It could be the 20 year old. I'm guessing it is because that was in May. May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, December. Yeah, it probably is her. But she looks like a child. A child. And in my mind I'm like not only is this pervert like you're perverted, you're sick. Yeah.

A (162:02)

Well I think that might you have time.

B (162:04)

Yeah.

A (162:04)

It's like that might trigger your childhood.

B (162:06)

Trauma also because that might have been what? Yeah.

A (162:10)

What happened to you?

B (162:11)

Oh my God. When I tell you I just got instantly gross.

A (162:15)

I can't handle when out. Yeah. When men are tricks or like and I'm not saying that he's tricking off on her, but that's my thing.

B (162:21)

If I find out, I'm sure he's tricking off on her.

A (162:23)

Ever tricked off on a girl and like if they're young and it's like that's such a weird thing.

B (162:28)

Well, it's funny you say the trick off part because this same friend told me how he. Cuz I was just like, this is insane. I was on the phone with him for like an hour and I'm like, you know what's so sad is like he runs through these women and every time he gets a. A woman he like buys them jewelry.

A (162:43)

Right?

B (162:44)

Like that's his thing. Right. I'm like, he's never bought his own daughter a pair of earrings. A pair. The diamond earrings. My daughter. And he's Mr. Jewelry Connoisseur. My son doesn't have a chain on his neck from his daddy. My daughter doesn't even have a pair of earrings on her. In her ears from her daddy.

A (163:00)

No.

B (163:01)

But yet apparently he bought that girl a pair of diamond earrings claiming that. That she brings him more peace than his daughter does. Which is weird.

A (163:13)

What? That he's quoted saying that the, the.

B (163:16)

Friend told me this.

A (163:17)

Oh my goodness.

B (163:18)

Cuz I was like, why is it that he. Every time he finds a new broad, he. He gets some Jew like what is the tricking on the broad or someone else's kids? Like what is that? He's just like, I don't know. But what he said, he said to me not too long ago that he had a pair of earrings for sapphire. But. But he ended up giving it to the girl because she brings him more peace. And I'm just like, this is just. It's Twilight Zone. Like people will never believe me. But being that this person wants to paint this narrative so it can deadbeat in peace. This is why I'm like, I'm like fuck it, let's just talk about it.

A (163:51)

Well, this man is really a menace to society.

B (163:56)

Sick. Yeah.

A (163:58)

Like he's genuinely not a good human. Women. Like that's a bad spirit. Sick to hurt somebody like this. And his.

B (164:04)

That's why it took so long.

A (164:06)

Let's talk about the situation with you climbing the ladder.

B (164:09)

Yes.

A (164:09)

Because when you told me this story, it made complete sense to me. I was like, absolutely. I would have done the same thing.

B (164:16)

So, okay, I'm gonna tell you the story and then I want you to go to me hopping the ladder and then I want you to come back to this. If you can. Okay. So I had a night out. Off. He has the kids. I'm in Carbone with this football player that I was dating. Mind you, this ladder thing was done last year. The other, the first one where I'm going crazy because of the schooling stuff that was done this year, that was in May, early May. This right here is last year. He's on loving hip hop, so called going after another woman, right? I'm living my life. I start dating this football player. Really into him at the time. He comes to town just to take me to Carbone. And I go, as you should right? Now, obviously, I know this information later on, this particular information, but he got wind. Someone at Carbone that knows him tells him I'm at Carbone.

A (165:33)

Does he have a tracker on you?

B (165:35)

No, but he knows a lot of people.

A (165:36)

Okay. Because I feel like he just knows everything.

B (165:39)

So, like, in Atlanta, he got wind because of someone from production. Because I brought the guy. Like, it was like, after set, I kind of left with the guy. So anyway, this particular time I met Carbone, I'm leaving. He gets wind from someone that was there, that I was there. Now I get dropped off at home. Now, I just started dating this guy, so I wasn't going home with him, but, you know, that's my business. I get home, like, maybe one. Something in the morning. I jump in the shower. I'm getting ready for bed, no kids. I get a call from him. Legend just fell off the bed, and he's bleeding. Wait, what? Yeah, he fell off the bed and he's bleeding. Bleeding from where? Now, I know the kids have a bunk bed in his house, but I. I know he doesn't use the top bunk. So in my head, I'm like, how did he fall? I'm, like, trying to figure out, like. So I'm like, where's he bleeding from? He goes, I don't know. I don't know. I'll call you right back. Okay? Ten minutes go by. He doesn't call me back. So as a mother, I'm like, I start calling him. What the going on? Is he okay? At least. At least tell me he's okay. He doesn't pick up. I called him numerous times back to back, back to back. It's not picking up. So at that point, I'm like, I'll just go over there. Like, what the. Like, I'm just gonna go over there. So I drive over there. Now, mind you, he lives in a gated community. You cannot get into this community unless you're let in by the residents. They let me in. Okay. I get to the door, and as you can see, I have pajamas on. I was about to go to bed. I have my sports bra. I put some biker shorts on. You know, whatever. Like, I was literally. Literally about to call it a night. I get to the door. I'm ringing the bell. No one answers. He has a transparent kind of door. I see him walking back and forth. Like, he's looking right, doesn't answer the door. So at that point, I'm like, this is crazy. I'm. I'm like, all the things that are going in my mind, I'm like, this sees in my. The door. Now, I know Safari has glass. All his backyard is all glass. So I'm like, I'm gonna go to the back to look through and see what the going on. That gate was locked. He just so happened to be getting work done on his house at this time. This was last year.

A (168:22)

The convenience of the ladder.

B (168:24)

The ladder was literally there waiting for me.

A (168:28)

It said, climb me.

B (168:30)

Like, the fact that people think I drove a ladder. I. I rode with a ladder. Because I, like. I'm not gonna lie. The comments. I'm just like, are people this stupid? But they are.

A (168:41)

Common sense is not.

B (168:42)

He was actually getting work done on his house, right? So the ladder was there. There was fucking tools there. The ladder was there. The. The gate was locked. This motherfucker, after calling to tell me my son fell from the bed, right? And is bleeding, is not answering the door, mind you. He let me into the community. So at that point, I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? Right? Why is he. But I see him walking back and forth. And at that point, as much as I probably should have known this motherfucker was playing with me, I wasn't. I was just more concerned, what the fuck's going on? Why is he saying, my kid mama bear? So the ladder was there. I used the ladder. Ladder to hop the fence, which.

A (169:28)

That's a fucking G move. That's a G move, right? Like, I would do the same thing. You tell me now.

B (169:33)

Go to the part that I told you before. The other second part. I get to the back. If. Can you zoom into my face? I am concerned. I am confused. I am trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.

A (169:50)

This is you knocking on the door, right?

B (169:51)

This is me knocking. He's trying to. And it's funny because he's been circulating like. Joe Budden even mentioned this video on his podcast. Safaree has been sending people this Video since it happened. Joking about it in the set. And mind you, everyone he has sent this video to. But prior to him doing this, YouTube has gotten a different story on why.

A (170:14)

But I mean, it's the Nicki Minaj thing.

B (170:16)

One exactly one person he told I was trying. I think he even said in this video that I was trying to break into his. His house. I think. Yeah, he said it was time. Mind you, if someone is breaking into your house, why wouldn't you call the cops?

A (170:29)

Why would you let them in from your gate guard, gated community? You know, like this.

B (170:35)

Look at my face. Can you zoom in anymore? I am stressed. I'm concerned. I am not mad, I am not raging. I am trying. I am confused and concerned. And that it's clearly written all over my face. My eyebrow is literally touching my hairline. Can you believe this bastard comes to the door finally. Literally. You're crazy. You really came here and laughing at me, laughing at me. You're crazy. Me off. You really came here. That's the stuff I was talking about. Like triggering.

A (171:18)

Yeah, that would set me off. I'd have been like, you just called me and said our son split his head open and is bleeding.

B (171:24)

Like what?

A (171:25)

And didn't answer the phone. I thought he was going to the hospital.

B (171:28)

Purposely didn't answer the phone because he knows my mind starts first of all, my kid. He knew exactly what to say. I really now know. He got wind I was at Carbone, wanted to fuck up my night. So I couldn't get none, which is probably what he was thinking, which is why he waited to call me. At the time he called me, thinking I was probably laid up with the dude and decided to tell me that. Then knew telling me that will have my mind going. Which is why he didn't pick up. Then he obviously gets alerted by his gate that I'm at the gate. Oh, I got her. She's here now. Fucked up her night. Purposely didn't let me into the gate because he wanted me to lose my shit. But Gate of his house. But lose my shit.

A (172:13)

The gate of his house.

B (172:14)

Yeah, they let me into the gate. They called him to let me into the. You cannot go into this man's residence without being let in by the guard gate he has. In a gated community. You cannot go into this man's gate unless he lets you in. Okay, so now here we are. May I find out about the 20 year old girl?

A (172:32)

Right?

B (172:32)

Okay. He calls me now. I'm not letting him know what I know. I just told him. Basically Enough is enough. Like, I can't do this. You're a pervert. I was kind of like, telling him without telling him. I was even. I was calling him all the p. Words in the book, like, clearly, you're a pervert. Clearly, you're this. And you got weird. You got more. You got more issues than that. You got sex. You got. You're a sex addict. First and foremost. You are a pervert. You literally do nothing but manipulate. And with me, you toy with the fact that I love you, and you beg me to be with you every chance you get. Then you bounce around from woman to woman. You know what I mean? Like, you disregard these kids when I'm done. Not on you. You. You purposely try to make financial burdens for me by not helping me outside of the little bit of money you do pay, because honestly, his child support is calculated off of if he was taking his kids once a week the way he's supposed to. He's not my child care just to work. Which is why sometimes I bring them. A lot of times, I bring my kids to set, and I still have to pay, but it's not as much because I'm kind of stuck still there, right when I. If I have to leave, let's say to do a movie, like it's doing Stepmother was two weeks. One of the. One of the. Because we break it down two weeks. Can you imagine leaving your kids for two weeks, two kids? What that child care cost? Around the clock. Yeah, it's a lot of money. So you purposely. And then what we do for a living, I have to. And even with flying with the kids, I got to pay for my flight. Their flight, you know, the food. I got to make them come, get a hotel that is, you know, accommodating for kids that, you know, you can't do no cheap shit, you know, not saying that I would, but you got to get a place to stay that's accommodating to your kids. Big enough space. All of that shit cost. Yeah, all of that shit costs. And then on set, even with me being on set, I have to pay for someone. So anyway, for what I do for a living, what he does for a living, he knows that it adds up. So I have this conversation with him. I'm like, you know, what the fuck you're doing? I can't do it. You're a p. You're a pervert. You're sick in the head. You. You know, he. And I'm sure with our last conversation, he got the memo. He will never Be able to fuck on me or with me again. And in that conversation I even brought up, I'm like, I'm so sick of the fact that you pick and choose when to be a father and the fact that your family doesn't even try to do their part when it comes to these kids. You know, what the hell this man said? How could they when you're their mother? Bunny. That set me off right then and there that I literally went into my phone, found his mother's number and he talks about that in the YouTube too as well. And I sent her a message with proof of him in my home that very week. Because remember, I think told you that whole incident that we went, I went off on him because of the school stuff and I broke in his house. Like I just had enough. I was just like, whatever. That was in May, right? Couple of days later, the homie called me. No, sorry, that was in May. That happened a week later. We're back to whatever, right? Because he was sending me all the messages I got back. Whoop. Swapped back to in, right? Two days later, after me being swarmed in, after a week of that happening, we get together, I'm swapped back in. Two days later, the homie calls me with that bit of information about him dating a 20 year old girl that he's bragging on how he's so excited because she's not in the industry and she doesn't know any better and he can kind of tell her what he needs to tell her and still do what he needs to do. That's literally his words. I could tell her what I need to tell her and still do what I need to do. Him telling me how can his family do their part part for my kids because I'm their mother. I knew right then and there, even though I always knew it just was like a real like confirmation. He's playing two sides.

A (176:45)

Absolutely.

B (176:46)

He's kissing and trying to on me and get back with me, quote, unquote.

A (176:50)

But telling his mom something else.

B (176:52)

Oh yeah. So I text his mother, quote unquote. I figured since I know your son is such a liar and since he knows, knows and since I know he lies on me all the time to you and your daughter. Just figure I informed you of him being up in my house last week. Isn't it ironic how he paints me out to be such a hateful monster but yet won't leave me alone? And in that I show video of him in my home camera, which you've.

A (177:22)

Never gone on YouTube and posted these.

B (177:24)

This Is what he. But he discusses how I disrespected his mother and sent her inappropriate photos of him. Nobody. I sent her proof. Where you be at? Okay. Yeah. Because you lie to her and say one thing and it's crazy because the mother is the enabler and the sister's the cheerleader. Right. So really it's like what I did was I opened up the floodgates to the truth on the lies you're telling them. Right. So I clarified things because you're, you're, you're painting this to be one way with them. But yeah, you're really consistently. Since we got divorced, every single other week you're begging trying to get back with me. Eight months ago, you just went on a. You went on and did a whole interview. Not only did you praise me as a mother, but you were literally said you wanted to eventually publicly that you see us being back together in the right time and all this shit and all of that. Now all of a sudden you didn't get enough excitement with your, you know, taunting your ex at her concert? What's up next? Now you all of a sudden want to tell the. Your truth. Your truth on why you're being a baby daddy. Isn't it convenient? I just find it that like, oh, now all of a sudden it's convenient for you to speak on all the truth I've been. Been telling.

A (178:48)

Yeah.

B (178:49)

So you took your time to edit this 30 minute video using video videos.

A (178:56)

Of me from separate occasions too.

B (178:59)

From separate occasions, not telling the truth behind what led to this and why this was that just so you can deadbeat in peace. And that's his agenda because now that he's a YouTuber. YouTuber and he can't on me anymore, he takes that out on me by not coming around for the kids. And what happens if you're YouTubing every day, people are going to start inquiring why your kids are never with you. Right?

A (179:27)

Yeah. Does nobody. Can nobody like put the pieces together? Like, it makes me sad. Like these blogs, like, even when I was doing research for this podcast, a lot of these blogs, like side with him and like, oh, it makes perfect sense. And Erica. And I'm just like.

B (179:42)

And you know why?

A (179:43)

Because not see what's happening.

B (179:45)

He. This is what he's doing. He's using my reputation to now paint this picture on why he chooses to be a deadbeat.

A (179:53)

But I think that your actions even after he dropped these, you did it so g, dude. And like normally you would have flown off the handle and like Gone to defend yourself. And this time you were just like.

B (180:03)

You know, what do you, you know why? Cuz I knew the time would come where I can actually speak on it and I knew I would do it before the year was out. And I just, I sat with it with God and I was just like, I need to tell my truth. And I know, you know, I need to tell my truth because of who I am and because this narrative being so false could be damaging to my future, my career, you know what I'm saying? So I sat with it with God and I was just like, I'm not going to speak on anything I did a little bit. But then I was just like, there's so much to unpack with this that doing it off of, like it's not gonna make sense, right? So, and, and literally like you DM'd me and it was just. Oh God, no, for real. It was like, okay, this is what I'm gonna do. This is it. Because I can sit with a credible woman that's been through it, that understands what's up.

A (181:02)

A lot of women have been through this.

B (181:03)

And your podcast, podcast resonates to an audience that isn't fucking a male dominated hip hop scene that. But it's like your viewers and like the people who tune into you aren't stupid. And I know that because of the.

A (181:24)

Shit you talk about, they're so compassionate.

B (181:27)

And the way your podcast has been able to expand and grow, the way it's obvious because the people tuning everything you speak on and how you speak and it resonates, it's credible, it's, it's real, you know, place for people to.

A (181:46)

Come and tell their truth with no judgment and with people. I'm so blessed to have a following that these women are going to just wrap themselves, they're going to wrap their arms around you like, and it's all up like that.

B (181:59)

And it's like, I'm not saying I'm perfect. I would take full accountability. I, I'm fucking, You know, this man has been able to trigger me. This man has been able to break me. This man. And I take full accountability because no matter how much he's violated, disrespected me, embarrassed me, no, he's left me for dead. From the time my son was born till now, I still took him back so many times I engaged in sexual acts, I, I accepted the gifts. I believed him because I was desperate in sense of. I wanted still the idea of my kids to have a two parent household. But this is where I Want people to, to kind of come together and put two and two together and realize, what the fuck? If I wasn't allowing this man to see his kids, why is it that he's taking me to court for everything but to see his kids? He is now suing me for defamation and a whole bunch of other fucking stupid and merit shit. He's taking me to court right now also because he wants to modify his child support. He literally leaked his own court papers, which triggered me right before this got leaked. He leaked his papers, his lawyer papers, and he had the nerve to make the head to put in there that he sees he has the kids more than me. And because he's no longer on love and hip hop, he doesn't make, make that that much money.

A (183:25)

So Obviously he's a YouTuber now.

B (183:28)

But I fell for the bait because when that went out, when he, when he put his whole court papers out, people were coming at me like, oh, why is she making it seem like he never sees the kids if he's claiming he has them more? I literally posted the calendar of yes. So next, you know, people are going at him like, oh, you only seen your kids 16 times. Times that I fell for the bait which led him to do this. He's so calculated and his agenda is very clear. It's just people love to hate me being the bad guy that this is where, you know what I'm saying, this kind of became as big as it was where people actually believe this.

A (184:11)

Yeah.

B (184:12)

Because the truth is, like I said, if he, if I was keeping these kids from him, first of all, he has court order recorded parenting time since 2022.

A (184:20)

Yeah.

B (184:21)

He's supposed to get them three days one week, four days the next week. It's supposed to be rotating, rotating, rotating. He doesn't do it. Why? Because he claims the kids school is too far and he'll be. He doesn't want to drive two hours every day to get the kids. Where I, where he picked the school for the kids to go was 30 minutes away from him. Right. So picking them up and dropping them off every day would be a two hour drive every, every day. He claims he's not doing that. Then if I'm not on him on those other days that he could be picking them up, which is the weekends. It makes my life complicated. Right. It's less, it's hard for me to date, it's hard for me to maneuver and, and work and do this without me having to pay. He also knows I lost one of my main incomes thanks to Him. So therefore money is probably not as much as it used to be. So keeping the kids on my tab all the time adds up. So he's calculated in every way. If I'm not engaging in him on me, these kids don't see him. And, and even that he'll get them purposely not brush their hair, purposely dress them looking crazy, all of these things. Because he knows I take pride. Just like I. He would take pride in how he dresses, I take pride in how I dress. They all. Therefore, what do you not take pride in when it comes to your kids?

A (185:44)

Absolutely.

B (185:45)

He will have my kids walking around looking like, yeah, but yet he can be in tip top shape. So it's like he doesn't just do things to set me off. He does things out of spite all the time. All the time.

A (186:03)

After being through all of this with him, how is your heart? How are you right now?

B (186:10)

You know what? I'm a lot better.

A (186:11)

Yeah.

B (186:12)

Believe it or not, this coming out set me free. For real. For real. I love that. Because I'm like, look how far he will go. Like he hasn't gone far enough to break me and bring me down. But now you want to publicly make me be this person that you know that I'm not. Because in. And you and I know this to be a fact. He wants to make sure that I don't flourish in my career anymore.

A (186:49)

He's not succeeding.

B (186:50)

I'm doing movies now. Right. I've been blessed to. Now I have my dating show with Zeus that comes out this top of this year.

A (186:57)

Let's talk about it. Because no matter what this man has.

B (187:00)

Done to you, he did this, right, to stop all of this, of that, and so he can YouTube and be a deadbeat in peace. Right? That's what this agenda is for. That's. That's his motive. That this is all that. This set me free. Because now I'm able to do this.

A (187:19)

Yeah. And you have.

B (187:21)

I feel like I've been sparing him a lot. And the truth is the truth. I am not perfect. I have taken this man back on numerous occasions. I have allowed him to fucking provoke me where I wig the fuck out. I have allowed him to use, you know, my weaknesses against me. Because he knows when we got married, that was the one thing. When he kept begging me for kids. I don't want to be a single mother. He left me for dead with two kids on purpose. Because he knows that's one of my biggest, like, years. Yes. But now I can tell my story for real.

A (188:06)

Yeah.

B (188:07)

On who he is and what I've.

A (188:09)

Been through and not carry it into 2025 and not carry it in.

B (188:15)

Like, he just set me free. Because now, like he does with Nikki, he often tries to. To chime in.

A (188:25)

Well, he's definitely going to come forward after this podcast comes out.

B (188:28)

I mean, if he comes forward, it's because he's desperate for more clout. That's just who he is.

A (188:32)

And he'll ride the wave and just know that. Don't let him trigger you.

B (188:36)

He can't. Okay. I'm so, like, now that I. Especially now about the latter because it's been like such a. And I. I'm able to laugh at it now because it's like, damn, he really fucking set me up for this. You stupid fucking bitch. You allow this fucking clown to really, like, play with you like this? Yeah, but this just set me free because now I can tell the truth on all of this shit.

A (189:01)

Karma always comes back around.

B (189:02)

And, you know, before I close out this conversation, it's like the proof is in the pudding. If this man was being. If his kids were being withheld from seeing. From him seeing his kids, he would be in court for that. He's not in court for any of the.

A (189:16)

But in fact, also taking you to court for defamation.

B (189:19)

Then he's also, after putting this shit out on me. He's. He's trying to sue me. Oh, when I was shooting the zoo show, he put out. He was trying to get a restraining order on me, Mind you. I was in. I was in California for like a month and a half shooting my. My dating show. He got wind that I was shooting the dating show and it was for real going, like, going down. This man had the audacity to try to get a restraining order on me. Why? So that in the middle of shooting, I had to stop app, find a lawyer, pay a lawyer to now respond to this and. And defend myself with this quote, unquote restraining order. So it's like when I tell you there's so much behind the scenes that I've been dealing with with this man. And if you guys want to believe, it's exhausting. It's so exhaust. Because if people really want to believe that I don't want to break every week and that I don't have to pay for with my kids going with their dad, you gotta be out your rabid ass mind.

A (190:17)

Yeah.

B (190:18)

A free break, three days, one week, four days the next week. Bring it on. Come pick up these kids. And then he also tells on himself, too. And Another thing, he's like, I refuse to go to her house, stupid. Your kids go to school every day. That's how much he has.

A (190:34)

He hasn't seen his kids video of him in your house, but.

B (190:38)

Exactly. He doesn't want to come to my house cuz he. He can't fuck on me anymore. Is the real deal. Yeah, he can't drink my fluids and fucking devour me the way he is. Obsessively loves to anymore. But he can pick his kids up at school, but doesn't do that because he doesn't want to drive the two hours every day.

A (190:57)

So there you go. Let's move on from Safaree, though, and talk about this dating thing. Because even though Safaree has put you through all of this fucking bullshit.

B (191:06)

Yes.

A (191:06)

He has literally tried everything he can to just fucking bring you down. And like, I. I just could never imagine a man wanting.

B (191:14)

Oh, did I tell you how he was DMing the football player too?

A (191:18)

No, he did not. But it doesn't fucking surprise me. Like, what is going on with this?

B (191:23)

It's been. When I tell you people, like, what.

A (191:25)

Was he dming the football player?

B (191:27)

I guess he wanted to tell him that, like, so I'm dating this guy, talking to him, but he still was kind of coming at me. He got. This is the guy that I was at Carbone with. He found out who it was and starts DMing him, talking about he had stuff to tell him. What? You want to see it?

A (191:46)

Yes, I would love to see it. If people don't see that he's the problem. Yeah. Then I just. After this podcast, if I see another blog about you being the problem here, I'm going.

B (192:00)

I mean, like I said, I'll take accountability. Babe. I'm not gonna say I'm innocent, because I'm not.

A (192:04)

I get it. But one thing for sure, it does.

B (192:06)

Take two to tango. And.

A (192:07)

But.

B (192:08)

And trust me, the sex, our sexual chemistry is so like, bomb that it was hard for me to let go. But at the same time, you guys.

A (192:16)

Also have a trauma bond too, so that makes everything so.

B (192:19)

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So look, this is.

A (192:26)

Hold on, let me get the bifocals on. On. He said.

B (192:35)

So this was after he had me hop the fence. He. He got wind. Okay, so he found out. So they just told him that I was there with a guy, but once he found out it was a football player, and this football player, when I tell you is fine. Does the. He's.

A (192:49)

He said, what up? Let me know when you see this. Trying to send you some info. Just want to make sure you're the right person.

B (192:58)

So, yeah, he basically every time I'm ready to move on or I've moved on, like, this man can't take it. So it's like, if I'm all of this, if I'm this crazy, let's just say it like that. Why haven't you been to court to get your kids away from me? For one, for two, why haven't you gone to court? Because you. I'm keeping your kids from you. Like, why? Why?

A (193:23)

It's just an abusive relationship.

B (193:25)

There's just so much that I just wish people were smart enough to see.

A (193:28)

I think, and I will say this.

B (193:30)

A lot of celebrity women reached out to me. Like, big name women that were like, listen, what you did is nothing compared to what X, Y and Z made me do. And it's like, you'd be surprised how many men. And it's. I'm saying it's right. But men literally purposely antagonize, provoke women, and then when they lose their. It's like, she's crazy. She's this, she's this. That they never tell this the whole story.

A (193:58)

It's reactive abuse. And that's part of controlling the narrative. If he can't control you, he wants to control what people think about you. And after this podcast, if people can't see what's going on here, especially now that you're distancing yourself from him and saying, hey, you know, Know what? No more. Yeah, just let this dude crash.

B (194:16)

I would never let this man touch me again.

A (194:20)

I mean, he's gonna crash out on his own. I mean, he's crashing out already, so. Moving on from safari, though. And no matter what this man has done to you, you have literally just risen from the ashes like a. The Phoenix that you are. You have done this your entire life. It seems like to be a theme for your life, like, no matter what fucking adversities life throws at you.

B (194:39)

Yeah. I don't know how I really have, like, 10 lives. I would say nine, but no, you always. I have a couple of lives on me.

A (194:46)

I'm telling you. You always come back full force. And now you have a dating show coming out on Zeus. Tell me all about this.

B (194:52)

I'm super excited about that. I feel like this show, I mean, it's definitely Zeus, so it's crazy. It has its elements, but what I love about it is that Lemmy and LJ let me create a format where I still gave them Zeus, but I wanted to tap in and. And show how fun and sexy and wild, you know, being a. A bisexual woman could be. Yeah. What I love about it is I got to be myself, you know, in the sense of, like, once I'm, like, in my world, in my element, I. Sex is, like, my favorite conversation. I love to talk about. I'm a Scorpio, so I love to talk about sex.

A (195:28)

Do you know what your moon sign is?

B (195:29)

I don't. Was asking me because she said you were gonna ask me. So I was like, oh, how do I find that? You gotta find out your moon sign, because she's gonna want to know. I'm like, okay, good to know. But, yeah, I love to talk about sex. I just feel like, you know, in a safe space, like, we all do it, whatever, right?

A (195:49)

Yeah.

B (195:49)

So I've been an open bisexual for, like, years, and I love love, and I haven't been lucky in it, but I know I'm deserving of it. And one thing people don't know is how fun and crazy and, you know, wild I am. Well, wild, yes.

A (196:07)

But, like, you know, I think we all know you're fun and crazy and wild.

B (196:11)

Like, but, like, in a fun way where it's not loving. Hip hop drama. Like, people know me. Drama crazy. Now it's like fun crazy. Turn up crazy. Like, tap into, like, how fun it is to be around me when I'm in, you know, a good, healthy environment.

A (196:26)

Yeah.

B (196:27)

So I got nine guys, nine girls, all walks of life.

A (196:30)

Wow.

B (196:32)

Yeah. And we took it there and we put us. We're all in one big house, and they are competing for my love. And I'll say this, my cast, I'm completely obsessed with them. I had such a great time with just, you know, the whole environment that it was. It was crazy, nonstop. The boys turned up, the girls turned up burnt up. You know, I'm not very, like, into the whole, like, throwing down stuff because I've been there, done that, growing up in New York. But I will say this, it definitely turned me on to see them kind of, like, some of them were taking it so serious where they were, like, thumping for me and, like, hardcore, like. But, yeah, I just love it because it's like, like I said, I got an opportunity to really be myself. It also was very emotional because you get attached to certain people and even though you don't see them in that way way, you know, to let them go and hurt their feelings, it's tough. It's tough. But, yeah, it was a fun time. The trailer will be dropping Very soon.

A (197:32)

When does it drop? When is the actual January?

B (197:34)

We're just right now going over Zeus's programming.

A (197:37)

Yeah.

B (197:37)

Let me have so much stuff in the works and stuff like that. So he. He wants this to be very right timing, and it's good because we literally shot this in August. Wow. And right in the middle of you.

A (197:49)

Going through all of this.

B (197:50)

Oh, my God. Literally, literally going through all of this. It was going down, and. But at the same time, it was. It was a wild experience.

A (198:01)

It was an outlet for you too.

B (198:03)

Yes. And doing it, it made me realize, too, like, everything my first baby daddy would tell me is like, remember who the fuck you are? Was in my head. Because to go through what I went through. I was on love of hip hop for so many years. Then what happened, happened to me. These people used me for bait, and all of a sudden, selective outrage kicked in, and the next thing you know, they're firing me over social media. And I held that franchise down for so many years. Regardless of how people feel about me, people tuned in. They wanted to know my drama. They wanted to know my life story. I was able to kind of go through my relationships. You know, I brought out, you know, me being a bisexual. Then I got married and had my fairytale wedding. Then I got kids, then I got left for dead with kids. Like, the world has been on a journey with me for so long, and now it's like, now I get an opportunity to not only have my own show, but to show me in the element that I'm very deserving in, and that's love. Like, I am such a lover. Regardless of how crazy my love life has been, I have always been open with my love life. And there's. Whether it's bad, good, ugly, whatever. It's. It's just been this ride that my fan base has been able to go on with me. So now, you know, doing two Ways with Erica was just an outlet of just kind of seeing what it's like to date me and how to date me and. And then the, you know, the challenges. I got a chance to make up, you know, for my contestants, you know, kind of says a lot about me. I'm definitely a freaky girl. I'm definitely a freaky girl, but I'm also very fun. And I'm also. Also, I. I feel deep, too. I'm. I'm an empath, even though I'm hardcore and, like, I'm very empathic. So it was. It. It's. It's definitely a ride. People have been saying, your show is very loud. You're very loud. I'm like, yes, yes, it's loud. I'm loud.

A (199:58)

When I think of Erica Mina, I think of somebody who's very loud. And that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. Yeah, they call Chronic loud, so that's a good thing.

B (200:06)

And it's great. Cuz, like, everyone behind the scenes, production, everyone's like, you gotta hit on your hands. We're so excited for you. I just stopped by the Zeus office the other, you know, everyone was just like, so excited for me because the edits are, you know, starting to be edited up and they're just like, this is. This is great because people get to see who you are. A lot of them said this was the most fun that you've ever had on a set. You know, so I got a chance to, like, bring an experience to not just my contestants, but, you know, production and everybody that, you know, plays behind the scenes. It's always more than what you guys see in front of the camera. Absolutely. So, yeah, I. Yeah, I'm excited. It's. It's. It's gonna. It's very loud and it's out there and. And we're gonna be on a ride for. It says 12 episodes, but we have so much footage that I'm thinking they might add some, you know, extra episodes in. But I'm excited. And then we also have movies coming out. I have a movie run, directed and written by Chris Stokes, that comes out in theaters this year.

A (201:05)

Let's go.

B (201:06)

We get a trailer for that. That. And then my trilogy, Stepmother, which is on to be, and all my other movies that are on to Be. I'm really proud of that. And I'm just gonna continue on and like the acting stuff. This is why I'm like, this couldn't have come at a better time. Because I feel like at the end of the day, I'm not perfect. Like I said, I've made some faults, I've taken back I up. I fell for the okie doke. I've also made some bad decisions, but I'm unapologetically me at all times, even within my mistakes. And one thing's for sure is that when it comes to my career, I give it my all. And there's a lot of versions of me, which is probably why I've been able to kind of be in this for so long. And I'm not afraid of growth.

A (201:49)

And that's exactly what you've shown this entire podcast is so much growth.

B (201:54)

Like, I'm not afraid to grow change. Last August I decided to like not drink anymore. So I'm.

A (202:01)

Can we talk about this? I just learned about your sobriety.

B (202:03)

Yeah, like, ah, I'm over it. You know what it is? I just feel like to. To go where I'm really headed and where I'm supposed to end up being ultimately. I feel like I used alcohol to kind of numb a lot of things and to make the disun and I. And alcohol plays a part of me making the dumb. The stupid, dumb decisions I've made with just kind of accepting and taking back and so on so forth. That played a big part of me indulging and not being level headed like I'm supposed to, you know, because emotions are high. It weakens me. My mind isn't clear. I forget what I have on the line. I'm like. Even that night that I hopped the fence, I had a couple of drinks with my girlfriend. Guy.

A (202:58)

Yeah.

B (202:59)

You know, I was a little tipsy and you know, when I got that phone call, you know, I'm sure if I was sober, him not picking up, you know, whatever, I probably would have made a different decision and going over there all together, you know what I mean? And I think about that and, and even with that last incident, you know, being set off, you know, like knowing. Knowing that this person purposely says and does things to kind of provoke me being sober. I feel like now is going to give me a lot more strength and clarity and. And I'm going to stop and think things through before anything. You know what I mean? Before any type of reaction.

A (203:46)

Absolutely.

B (203:47)

And so far I feel like it's great. Like I get up at 5, I pray now, write in my journal. The kids get up at 7. So I kind of have like this routine now that's been mapped out since I decided to become completely sober and it's been great. Like I walk around with this damn bottle. If I'm not with this bottle, it's my Stanley Cup. Yeah. And. And I just feel so much better. I also feel like I am able to hear. I'm super in tune spiritually. Like when I wake up at five and I'm praying I'm able to visually see what's gonna happen for me. Like God, I feel like, like shows me things and it's been so like liberating because like even with this, I was supposed to come not too long ago before this actual visit and something happened with my mom. Yeah, yeah.

A (204:42)

By the way.

B (204:42)

Yeah, she's great. Where I wasn't able to make it. And it was like the timing of everything and just like, how. And I realized that now, like, I like everything in its timing. It's like, who would have know. I would have not predicted that, you know, to. To come and. And try to ruin me. Yeah. And I feel like that was the. The. There was a motive behind that. Like, that was. That was done and put out to, like, end me once and for at peace. Yes, that was done to, like, end me for once and for all. And the fact that that wasn't the.

A (205:19)

Result, you know, you've done nothing but level up. Even getting sober. No drug is worse than reality. I say that to everybody because I've been sober since 2017, I heard.

B (205:30)

Yeah.

A (205:31)

So to. To be able to be in the midst of all this chaos, all this stress, everything coming at you, and just to make that comment, conscious, spiritual decision, to be like, you know what? I don't want my mind altered anymore. I want to be in this a hundred percent. That is. That's amazing.

B (205:47)

Yeah. And I'm so proud of you. Now since I've done it, I'm like. I look back at all the. I was tolerating and like, the lies and, you know, now us going to court, sometimes I have to go back and send proof to my lawyer about certain things. And I'm reading how I was just like, the lies, the. This, the deceitfulness, the. And it's just like, had I been sober, none of this would have slid that. That well. And I definitely would have not accepted as much as I accepted, you know, like, and then getting through postpartum, that. Because when I was pregnant and even after I wasn't. I wasn't drinking then, but the pain of that and feeling on, you know, disregarded and thrown to the side and. And just not seen and taunted the way I was taunted, you know, like, from the time I gave birth to Legend, even up till now, this person purposely buys all these things, knowing it does nothing for these kids. And everything's left on me. That's done to taunt me. Yeah. That's done to make my life complicated and more difficult, you know, now that I don't want to have any sexual relationships with them at all. It claims it's scared of me. It can't come nowhere near me because it's so scared, you know, and it's just like, wow, I'm really dealing. Well, I should say. I wouldn't even say I'm dealing, but if there's any regret that I have is the person that I chose to have more kids with. But I love my babies. But I just. I. I just really.

A (207:29)

You can't control how. Who he's gonna be. He's always gonna be who he's gonna be.

B (207:33)

Yeah, but I. I feel like I owe my kids, like a. Forever an apology.

A (207:42)

But they have you. They have you. They have King. You know, like those babies were. They chose you to be their mom for a reason. And so.

B (207:51)

Yeah, but those times when my daughter is begging to get picked up by her dad and he does nothing but give her excuses and she gets off the iPad and she's Derekly crying, it's like, I am so sorry.

A (208:02)

Yeah.

B (208:02)

You know, like that's the stuff. And. And then that's. And that's even more so why I have to stay sober because I now have to. And it's funny because no matter how much time passes and we're about to be on seven months that he hasn't seen them, their love for him has not subsided because how much love I pour into them and how much I allow them to love him, even from a distance when they miss him. And it's real bad. I play his video on YouTube and that's stuff I kind of have to deal with. But at the same time, it's a sacrifice I'm gonna make because in time, they will see it for what it is. But in the meantime, I don't want the trauma of them missing him and not seeing him to affect them, their. You know, their. Their. Their light. So I try to do what I can to kind of build them up with love. And no matter how much time has passed and. And that's the part that's so sad about it, is he can do this, but yet doesn't tell the world that no matter how much he goes without seeing them, those kids love him even more than the last time he saw them seven months ago. Ago.

A (209:10)

My prayer for you guys after this podcast comes out is that I really hope Safari listens to this with an open heart.

B (209:17)

Oh, he's not going to listen to this.

A (209:18)

And. Oh, he's. Oh, he's listening. Trust me. You know he's gonna listen.

B (209:22)

He is not. He might. He might. He might stalk my Instagram page to see. Because he does do that. Yeah, I know that because it's so obvious.

A (209:32)

Well, my prayer is that he does listen to this part of the podcast broadcast with you, and he'll probably get.

B (209:37)

Wind of the stuff that goes viral.

A (209:39)

Listens with an open heart, and then just. You guys can just get it together because it does seem like there was a lot of love there. And those babies were made with love. And I really pray that you guys can come to some sort of friendship, you know, of don't back together.

B (209:56)

I don't even want no friendship. I just want him to just step up to the plate, you know, just be a dad. See the kids when you are supposed to see them, when you have them, dress them properly, love them properly, you know.

A (210:06)

Have you guys ever tried to have like a mediator in between you guys that can like get the kids to and from each other so you guys don't even have to interact?

B (210:13)

You don't have to interact now Bunny, he could literally go to the school, pick the kids up. I know there's. I know of men that drive three hours just to pick up their kids, spend time with them and drive three hours back to drop them off and then three hours to get back. Like if you really want to see your kid, no time or place case stops you.

A (210:33)

Yeah.

B (210:35)

And it's like that's just what it comes down to. And he has court ordered time to see them. He just chooses not to because it makes my life complicated. If I have them seven days a week and let's just say because my career, I actually do things like movies and I have a show and things like that, I have to pay child care. And if I have them seven days, he knows that's going to cost me.

A (211:00)

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So, so what? So 20, 25, what can we look forward for you?

B (211:07)

We got Erica Mena Two Ways with Zeus coming. Yes. We have a movie called Run that will be in theaters.

A (211:14)

But I want to hear about you personally. What is does Erica want for herself personally? All your accomplishments are amazing. Yeah, I can't wait to see those come to fruition.

B (211:23)

You know what I wanna, I wanna continue just being this clear minded person. I feel like I've been drinking since, since I was like 16. Yeah. I want to indulge in life like because it's what I stopped in August. I'm only like August seven months. Seven, eight months in. I want to progress in this life of clarity and you know, continue to indulge in, you know, bettering myself. Whether it's me in the gym or taking some classes. I've been doing this cold water plunge thing. Yeah, yeah.

A (212:02)

Cold plunge.

B (212:03)

Yes. I'm obsessed with it because it really, it has helped me to understand how powerful my mind is. So when I first started doing it, obviously it's scary, it's freaky, like you're dying, you're hyperventilating. But once you start realizing and how you can control your mind, like I will literally now sit in 40 degrees for three minutes. Of course I have go past that. But I can make myself really believe I'm not in a cold situation. Yeah. And with that comes. Okay, if I can do that with just that I've already what manifested what I manifested Now I want to just be able to kind of just progress in my mental and like how I can just make everything that I want happen mentally. Especially now that my mind is clear. You know, I want to challenge myself more in the physical sense. I've always been like, you know, real active in the gym and stuff like that. But now I really want to dive in where I'm like, you know, weightlifting heavier and just make that more of a day to day routine.

A (213:08)

It's so good for your mental health too.

B (213:10)

Oh my God. I feel like just challenging myself physically with the power of my mind and how I can take my. I just feel like it's just time. And then before I'm 40, I just feel like I, I see myself just being in the best shape ever. And this is all stuff that's come and been, you know, told to me in my 5am you know, prayers that I just really see myself in my 40s looking better than I've ever have. I also see myself being in major movies with major actresses and actors and you know, I just, there's just so much that's.

A (213:44)

Sit down and make a vision board. That's what I do with my team.

B (213:47)

I saw you guys do one not too long ago. Yeah. Yeah.

A (213:50)

Every year we do vision boards and it's phenomenal what comes.

B (213:54)

I've been like writing profusely lately and a lot of the things that I've kind of like started jotting down are starting to kind of come through. My manager's been calling me about certain things and I'm like, no way. I'm like, I take a picture, I'm like, I wrote this down. Yeah.

A (214:11)

So no, words are spells.

B (214:13)

Oh my God.

A (214:15)

I'm telling you, words are spells. So you be careful what you cast.

B (214:17)

And then this year too, more importantly, I don't ever want to speak about just certain things anymore.

A (214:25)

You don't have to. You left it all here.

B (214:28)

Like literally. That's why I said this has been like that set me free. And then now what I've been doing to kind of just move forward and then me staying sober and all of this, like I. If there's ever been a time where I've said I'm a fan force. It's definitely beyond that now. Like, the force that I am cum is, you know, I'm excited for myself more than anything because I'm like, damn. I have been through some. And yes, I've loved harder than a. But now it's time to kind of, you know, you don't realize the power you have until someone tries to chip away at it, take it from you.

A (215:09)

Yeah, absolutely.

B (215:10)

And that's kind of what this year has been. Power. So much like, even with Love and Hip Hop. What happened with me on Love and Hip Hop, I didn't realize I was. That it was. I was that big until that happened. And then I was just like, wow. Not just with my words, but my. Me as a whole, you know?

A (215:36)

Does anybody even watch Love and Hip Hop since you left?

B (215:39)

It's so funny because that's literally what I was gonna say. Say. I was gonna say I literally get stopped non stop. I get messages non stop in public. The amount of people that tell me on a day to day. And it's literally like. And I live so far out. I get old people. I get like people from different walks of life. I had a Oriental woman stop me and like at the airport in la and she was just like, you know, I don't watch Love and hip hop anymore since you left, so they need.

A (216:09)

To bring you back. They'll bring you. If they wanted to bring you back, would you go back?

B (216:13)

I left off at a pretty good coin.

A (216:16)

Yeah.

B (216:16)

And you know what's crazy? I was actually on my last year contractually with them, and had I not been fired, I would have to wait two years to even do Zeus. Oh, wow. I was actually offered Zeus around the time I got divorced, but I was contractual, actually caught in. So Lemmy was like, I'll wait and do this with you. So I was actually supposed to do, like, I've been offered this show years ago, but contractually I wasn't. So being that I got fired, there was no binding and I was able to go right into what I was. So that was. That was a blessing, even though it was an. It came from an unfortunate situation. But to answer your question, I don't think they could afford me with what I'm gonna ask for. Just because out of the disrespect and the disregard that they kind of. How they dealt with me was just disgusting.

A (217:11)

Well, I think you felt like you were loyal to them and they just.

B (217:14)

For 15 years, I let These people. I did everything these people told me to do in the very beginning because I didn't know no better. And that brought in all the ratings that they needed, and it took on a life of its own. New York transpired, where they were able to do all these other cities.

A (217:27)

Yeah, that was a great season.

B (217:29)

So it's safe to say, like, you know, I definitely was the guinea pig. And, you know, I also inspired other women to be casted on this franchise to, you know, to do what they do. So it's. It's good to know that. But, yeah, I left off at a pretty good fucking penny with them. I was getting. I was probably one of the highest paid, if not the highest paid.

A (217:52)

So you deserved every penny of it.

B (217:54)

Yeah. So for them to come back and then they're back. Better apologize to me, too.

A (218:00)

She said the apology better be disrespect.

B (218:03)

Yeah. I mean, I feel like when you're old, an apology, it's only right. You get one, so.

A (218:08)

Absolutely. Well, I just want to tell you, Erica, thank you for coming here and.

B (218:12)

Thank you for having me. I swear, Danny, I was praying, like, when. That. When everything was just coming at me at once, I was like, okay. And my. My. My manager was like, okay, whatever you said right now, because I was kind of whatever I could. I did say a few things on the Internet, but it wasn't getting anywhere. People weren't. They were just caught up in the visual that was, like, literally viral everywhere. And I was just like, you know what? I'm not going. I'm just going to put out a statement. And I put it out with TMZ that I just wanted it to stop, but really, that was just to kind of bring myself to the drawing board. And I sat on it for days and just prayed because I knew I had to tell him, you can't lie on me like this and think, I'm not gonna fucking tell the truth. Yeah. So I just prayed for it because I knew it had to be right. And not only done right, but the. The timing of it had to make perfect sense. Like, I wanted that wave to be rode out the way it was.

A (219:17)

Yeah.

B (219:17)

Because the truth of the matter is that. That that's what it wanted. It wanted the. It wanted the attraction, it wanted the views, it wanted the subscribers, and it showed its true colors when it started promoting the number of subscribers it got. You know what I'm saying? So the. The motive. Yeah, the motive got is. It's there. It's just people are so used to wanting to hate Me that I pray that they, you know, they fell for the hoopla.

A (219:46)

I pray that they see your growth in this podcast, though. Because even in all the interviews that I've watched you in, you've always been so kind of like, rah, rah. And here you're just like, look, man, this is what it is. This is what happened. I'm not who that person is.

B (219:59)

Let me know. I mean, and don't get me wrong, I'm a crazy, but my crazy has some substances. Like, there's a reason behind the crazy. Oh, no. You know what I'm saying?

A (220:08)

You're not gonna.

B (220:10)

Like, if you want people to believe I'm just crazy for no reason, you know, like, that I'm not gonna allow. Because all. Every ounce of crazy that comes from this, there's. There's a reason. Yeah.

A (220:25)

There's a method to the madness.

B (220:26)

Oh, my God. A huge method for imagine. And every action. For every action, there's a reaction. Absolutely. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, so. Yeah. So we're leaving this in the past. Thank you. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to kind of. You have my. Lay it all out. Because literally, when I tell you I am, I feel so liberated. It is what it is. The truth is told. And if I'm spoken about by it ever again, you guys hear it first. It's because it needs clout, which it. It does. I mean, look what it's done with it.

A (221:00)

It puts the lotion on the skin the other exact.

B (221:02)

You know what I'm saying? The other ex still to this day gets bamboozled by this fool's, you know, thirst to be talked about, you know, and she's married with. With kids and has accomplished so much in her career, you would think it would leave it alone.

A (221:17)

But why don't you tell everybody where they can find you if they already aren't following you?

B (221:22)

Give them Erica Mena on Instagram. And then I also have a YouTube, only one Erica Men Mena. And then I have my Tick Tock, which is only one Erica Mena as well. And yeah, I'm excited for this. Thank you so much.

A (221:35)

I love you, girl, and I can't wait to see you flourish in 2020.

B (221:38)

Thank you for being who you are. Because literally, like, every bit of success you're getting from this podcast is so deserving. I actually see this being a show.

A (221:46)

One day, like, manifested, baby, man, you.

B (221:50)

The podcast. You got your, like, we need talk shows. We need.

A (221:55)

That's what we're trying to do.

B (221:56)

That's what we're aiming to do. I got chills just saying it because I so see this being like you're a talk show host. I appreciate podcast.

A (222:04)

I appreciate you so much.

B (222:05)

You're a talk show host, baby.

A (222:07)

I appreciate you. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week.

B (222:13)

Bye.

A (222:18)

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