Loading summary
Transcript361 lines
- [00:00]
Bonnie
Let's talk about what really drives success in selling. It's not just the product, it's the business behind the business. Take Alo Yoga and Gymshark, two brands that have absolutely dominated the activewear space. Sure they have great products, but what really sets them apart is their ability to build a seamless shopping experience, a strong community and a brand people want to be a part of. It's not just about selling leggings or gym gear. It's about the backend operations, the marketing automation, the personalized customer experience and the data driven decisions that keep them ahead. That that's where platforms like Shopify come in. They power the storefront, handling the logistics and making scaling possible. The brands you love, they're thriving because of the tech and strategy working behind the scenes. So if you're a business owner looking to take that next step, think beyond just the product. The right tools and infrastructure can be the difference between a side hustle and a global brand. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going cha ching. So if you're not into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that I use for my website. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bunny that's Buenn ie all lowercase. Go to shopify.com/bunny, Bunn and I. E. To upgrade you're selling today, shopify.com/bunny do you say data or do you say data? Well, at my house we say data and for the longest time I thought paying a fortune on my monthly data plan was just normal. That was until I found out about Mint Mobile and their premium wireless plans that start at just 15 bucks a month. 15 buckaroos baby. Switching to Mint Mobile is a game changer. Same reliable, high speed coverage as the big carriers, but at a fraction of the price. Why spend more when you can get premium service for less? Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you. All plans come with high speed data or data your choice, and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. No matter how you say it, don't overpay for it. Shop data plans@mint mobile.com bunny that's mintmobile.com b u n n I e upfront payment of 45 for three months. Five gigabyte plan required equivalent to 15amonth. New customer offer for first three months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra cement Mobile for details. What's up guys? Don't forget to sub to Patreon so that you can see the visuals because not only do we have episodes of the podc, have exclusive content that nobody else sees on any other apps, behind the scenes photo shoots, and we're dropping a whole bunch of surprising stuff this year. So if you guys don't want to miss out and you want to be the first to know, go over to our patreon www.dumbblonde unrated.com Love ya. Is this thing on?
- [03:19]
Karen Gravano
Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast Dumb Blonde.
- [03:23]
Bonnie
Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of money and be a rock star's wife. That was my go child. And here we are. What's up, you sexy? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde on the Pod. Today we have a woman who was born into a lifestyle that so many people glamorize. And still to this day, it's now a trending topic on Tik Tok. Today we get to hear the real pain that this lifestyle brings from a woman who's lived it and survived. Ms. Karen Gravano.
- [03:53]
Karen Gravano
Hi, beautiful. Thank you for having me. First, let's start off with that. I'm excited to be here.
- [03:58]
Bonnie
I'm so happy that you're here. Like I was just telling you, I don't watch a lot of reality TV shows, but Mob Wives, I was religiously watching that shit every week. And the reason why was because that shit just was felt so real, you know, and it was just, it was a time when TV was great.
- [04:19]
Karen Gravano
Yes. We were at the height of reality tv. And I think what made Mob Wives so authentic was that we really knew each other. We really all had history together. We weren't just a cast put in a house and we didn't like each other because, you know, somebody said something in a situation. We had a lot of history and it kind of got crazy at times, but it came through where for me especially doing the show, I Wanted it to be where I could tell my story and maybe somebody can take something away from it. Sometimes I felt like it got blurred with the fighting and the arguing. It got petty at times. But the reality was we all kind of went through different struggles and we were able to put that on tv. And people now come up to me and say, you know, thank you for sharing that I had a similar situation, or I went through this and I could relate because you guys were so real. And that's, you know, that's hence all the years later and the fighting's done and over with. You know, it's, it's, it's good to.
- [05:13]
Bonnie
Hear that it was all of you guys, you guys, vulnerability. And I think that's what made people be able to relate to you guys, especially women. You know, like, we all go through silent battles and battles and family trauma and. And I think a lot of women were able to kind of, I don't want to say latch on, but maybe like, admire, you know, each one of you for different reasons. So it was. You guys are icons. Which is, which is why we're doing these podcasts this month, because I, you know, Mob Wives started trending on Tick Tock.
- [05:47]
Karen Gravano
Yes.
- [05:47]
Bonnie
And as soon as I saw that, I was like, oh, this is. We gotta get, you know, Karen, Renee, we gotta get everybody on. Because you guys, I feel like this generation missed out on you guys.
- [05:58]
Karen Gravano
You know, they did.
- [06:00]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [06:00]
Karen Gravano
You know, they see, like, now it's back on Paramount, plus they're putting it out and I'm getting some, like, younger kids now say, I watch your show, but it's just. It was a crazy time in tv and it's unfortunate that we're not back on the air, but it kind of gets into a lot of political stuff with the producers and the network. I don't know if a lot of people know, but we kind of fell in that whole Harvey Weinstein saga where Harvey was the producer for Mob Wife. So when everything happened with him, his intellectual properties had to go get sold to another production company. And when everything finally panned out, some of the producers, one in particular, hung on and they didn't want to get. They didn't want to sell it. And so they were kind of getting greedy with the money. And, you know, we were never canceled. The network wanted to have us back, but it was just the negotiations between the producers and the network just didn't pan out.
- [06:56]
Bonnie
So I had no idea that Harvey Weinstein was involved until we had that phone call. And I was mind blown and Then I. It was right there in the credits when I was watching catching up on some of the Mob Wife episodes, just to get familiar again. You would see him and I think, like, his brother in the credits. Yeah, yeah.
- [07:11]
Karen Gravano
Bob.
- [07:12]
Bonnie
Bob White. Bob and Harvard.
- [07:14]
Karen Gravano
So it was crazy, you know, as well. I don't know if you know, but when they sell shows, they don't usually bring the cast with them. And prior to Mob Wives, they actually brought us all on the pitch meetings because I guess they thought we were so authentic and the way we interacted with each other. And Harvey would come on the meetings, and it was just. It was funny. And he would always.
- [07:35]
Bonnie
He never hit on you or anything like that?
- [07:36]
Karen Gravano
No. Everyone always says that. They're like, did you ever. I said, no. We kind of got fucked in our contract from them in a way, but never physically.
- [07:42]
Bonnie
He didn't fuck me physically. He didn't fuck me financially, in a way.
- [07:46]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. But that's, you know, in reality tv, you sign. You sign your life away.
- [07:50]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [07:51]
Karen Gravano
Which is, you know, I get it now.
- [07:53]
Bonnie
Now that it's resurfacing. Are you guys getting residuals from that?
- [07:57]
Karen Gravano
No, we don't. We never. And I don't. I don't know. Especially back then, like, if people were privy to, like, all the residuals and doing all that. We didn't. It wasn't in our. Wasn't offered to us.
- [08:09]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [08:10]
Karen Gravano
I'll tell you how, my boy. Because at first I was like, I'm not going to be on a TV show, a reality show. Like, I have too much baggage. So Jennifer Graziano, which is Renee's sister, and I, we were actually talking about doing a scripted show. We were just in talks. We've been childhood friends. She was there when I went through all this stuff with my father. We kind of stopped talking for a while, but then we reconnected. And one day she says, hey, listen, this guy's pitching an idea to me about women, you know, whose husbands went to prison. And, you know, what do you think about it? And I said, it would be good. She goes, I'm thinking of casting Drita. What do you think? I said, she's definitely good for tv. You know, she's. She's a character, so she would be good for that. And as her negotiations got further along, she was like, what about Renee? I said, renee is definitely made for tv. Like, Renee can make drama out of, like, a crumb. Right? So it's like, Renee is good for that. And then she was like, well, I have Renee's friend Carla. So anyway, Carla was beautiful. Yes. And Carla was. She's just real. Right. She came with a lot of, like, mob history stuff, too. And, like, she set her boundaries. Like, this is what I'm not gonna talk about. And she always stuck to her guns. And, like, one thing I do, because in the beginning, you know, her and Drita were friends. And at the time of our war and she was not having it. Like, they would try to sit us down and be like, can you explain to Carla and Carlos, I don't give a fuck. I'm friends with Drita. I don't want to hear it.
- [09:34]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [09:34]
Karen Gravano
And I always liked that about her because she's loyal. Even if I felt she was loyal to the wrong person or she, you know, and then kind of as the series went on, I guess she's seen for herself and, you know, the tides changed. And her and Drita, you know, we're no longer friends. But she has always stuck to what she believed in. She doesn't. She doesn't want to. She was the hard one, they always said, because she doesn't feed into drama. And, like, you're on a reality show. You guys need to talk about it.
- [09:58]
Bonnie
I feel like somebody had to be the calm to you guys. This fucking storm, though, because y'all were fucking wild.
- [10:03]
Karen Gravano
Yes.
- [10:04]
Bonnie
I mean, plates flying, fists flying, hair.
- [10:07]
Karen Gravano
Flying, like, everything flying.
- [10:09]
Bonnie
That had to have been so hard for you. And we're going to get into it. You know, all the stuff that happened as a little girl and forward, but just kind of reflecting back. That had to have been so hard for you to have to go face these people after everything that you had.
- [10:25]
Karen Gravano
Already been through prior to the show even starting. When Jennifer, the producer, had asked me if I wanted to be on it, I was like, hell, no. I have too much baggage. Like, I left New York. There was real stuff because of that lifestyle that has happened to me and my family, and it's, like, still ongoing. Like, I still to today deal with it. So I just didn't think reality TV was a platform for me. Although I was in negotiations for writing a book and actually a movie at the time, whatever. I come back and they're filming the sizzle reel. And, you know, I can't help it but sit down at the table with them and, you know, the sizzle reel is where history was really made. Cause it was iconic, and that's what sold the show. And so Jen comes back to me and she's like, you gotta be on the show. And I was like, okay. So the show comes back, they wanna buy it. And I'm like, what's the name? They're like, mob wise. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I'm not coming back and being like, mob this, mob that. I stepped away from that. In my mind. When we sat down and talked about it, it was for women who went through struggles and overcame them. And they're like, karen, you're such a good person because you went through your entire community turned on you. You know what I mean? And there was so many things. There was a hit put on my brother, like he was five minutes away from getting his head blown off. Then I moved to Arizona with my family, and my whole family gets arrested for selling drugs. We become a drug cartel in Arizona.
- [11:43]
Bonnie
Yeah, we're gonna sell face on.
- [11:44]
Karen Gravano
Everything was taken when I'm telling you, everything. Like, from credit cards to jewelry to houses to restaurants, to cars. We had nothing. I just had a little baby. I had to come home and start over. And I did, and I made it so they were like, that's the story that we want to tell. And I'm like, you know what? That's what I want to tell too. Because if people can relate to me or I can help someone, because I know the dark places that I've been in and how I've overcame it, this is something important to me. And then next thing I know, we come back and we're, like, fighting each other.
- [12:12]
Bonnie
But I feel like they kind of set you guys up for that too, because you and Drita already had, like, beef. That was off camera, right? Because you used to date Lee, so.
- [12:23]
Karen Gravano
I dated him for six years.
- [12:25]
Bonnie
Okay, okay. I didn't know it was six years.
- [12:27]
Karen Gravano
We were together for six years. He moved to Arizona with me. We came back, and she was my friend. She was the friend that no boyfriend wanted. Like, you're not allowed to bring that girl into the house. It was like that type of situation. And me, like, nobody could tell me who I could hang out with, Right? So I always stuck up for Drita. I always, like, fuck with her. We had a weed service at a time where me and my friends ran a weed service.
- [12:51]
Bonnie
It's called Aromatherapy, right?
- [12:52]
Karen Gravano
Yes.
- [12:53]
Bonnie
I love that name. We'll talk more about that, too.
- [12:55]
Karen Gravano
And, you know, we all have money. We came from a background. Our parents, we were hustlers. And Drita had nothing. So I'm like, come on, girl. Here. Like, let's go hustle. Here's an opportunity for you to make money. And she never wanted to do it. But I was the type, like, all right, I'll go up. I'll make the sale here, give her some money. Like, I wanted her to be an equal with us. Cause that's just how I am. Like, I never want someone to be around us and feel like they're, you know, need us to pay this or to pay that.
- [13:20]
Bonnie
When you say being equal to us, is it because she wasn't Italian?
- [13:24]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, and just not even that. It was just like, you know, we were all hustlers.
- [13:29]
Bonnie
Gotcha.
- [13:30]
Karen Gravano
You know, like, we had a weed service. We had, you know, apartments, cars. And she was, you know, the girl that would come around and couldn't go to eat at this restaurant because she didn't have money. So it's like, come on, girl, I'll get you some money. Let's do. You know? And it was never. I never wanted anyone to feel like, I'm trying to be your boss or be like, be my equal. Come on, we can get this money. Let's get it together. And when we had the weed service, she just really wasn't. She just didn't want to do it. So neither here nor there. It was like, you know, she just. I'm the one that actually brought her around. And then all of a sudden, I leave and I go to Arizona and I find out that her and Leah are together, which is like. Okay. I think as a woman, like, here's where I think everything got confused from Mob Wives. Cause it wasn't portrayed right in the beginning. As a woman, I think you owe that to your friend to be able to at least say, hey, girl, listen, I hooked up with your man. She never said that.
- [14:25]
Bonnie
And you guys were still together when she hooked up with him?
- [14:27]
Karen Gravano
No.
- [14:28]
Bonnie
Okay.
- [14:28]
Karen Gravano
It was after. Like, I had moved on, but me and her were still friends. We never had a falling out. So if you and him are together, you could say, hey, like it's a phone call. But that's where she said we weren't friends. So we went from being friends. That's where I don't get it. How do you pick and choose when we're friends and when we're not? When it's convenient for you, now we're not friends. And it's not that she. I'm like, the way they were trying to make it, like, I'm like, I need you to explain this to me. Nah, just common courtesy. As a friend.
- [14:57]
Bonnie
Yeah, let's have a conversation.
- [14:58]
Karen Gravano
You never gave that to me. And whatever. It bothered me. So for me. And then she Kept saying, well, you guys weren't really together. I lived with him. You know, we were together for seven years. So it just started becoming like I was this obsessed ex girlfriend. But really it was about respect because I always respected you. I always brought you to the table with us as an equal. The reason why you're even on Mob Wives is you weren't friends with Jennifer. I made you guys become friends. No one really even liked Drita in the beginning. She was like my friend. And now it's like, oh, and let me backtrack and I'll probably, like. People probably won't like me for saying this, but before Mob Wives ever aired, we were all together. Me and Drayda sat down at tables and been like, girl, we're gonna show that no guy could ever come between a girl.
- [15:43]
Bonnie
Oh, wow.
- [15:44]
Karen Gravano
So nobody knows that. We pitched mob wise. We went into every network with Harvey Weinstein, with the producers. We all sat down together. So then when the show aired and it came out, me and Drita had this thing like we were friends and, you know, we kind of fell apart. Cause I went to Arizona, I moved away. You got with Lee, but we're back. And you know what? Fuck him. Our friendship matters more than all that. And we're gonna, you know, rekindle our friendship. But then it became, oh, Drita don't want you at her house. You can't film in her house. You can't. Like. So the producers are telling me things and I'm more like, what's up? Like, is there an issue? I don't want you to talk about Lee. I don't want this to be said. Well, you can't tell me what to say or what to do. And even in my book, this is where it all. Like, I was writing a book before Mob Wives. I have a real history in that world. Lee is like, not even a factor. So when she was like, you can't put him in your book. I'm like, who you to tell me what I could write in my book about? So that's why I wrote the little paragraph about, you know, I'm going through.
- [16:47]
Bonnie
That now with my book. I have an ex coming out of the woodwork saying, don't put me in your book. And I'm like, it's your life. I'm like, you're. You abused me.
- [16:54]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [16:55]
Bonnie
You know, like, why would I not show people that? What I did after, it's not about you, it's about what I overcame. Yeah, exactly. No, that's wild.
- [17:04]
Karen Gravano
And that's where it all started stemming from. And it was a lot of what. I mean, all the producers will even say there was so much behind the scenes that was happening before Mob wise even came back. And I think the opening line was, I came back and said, fuck Sam and the Bull. Fuck John Gotti. I'm gangster. Which I was like, why'd you say that? And it had nothing to do with the girls. It had to do with people saying, don't put her on the show. Street people. Don't bring her back. Don't do this. And it was like, that couldn't happen because the whole show was based off of Mob Wives. And my name was the name that was gonna.
- [17:39]
Bonnie
You know, your dad is pretty fucking notorious. So for everybody who's listening, your dad.
- [17:45]
Karen Gravano
Is Sammy the Bol Gravano. He was the underboss of the Gambino family. You know, the whole John Gotti, Sammy the Bull saga that has followed me for my whole life, you know, and that's what really sold Mob Wives. So for people, for everyone to be on that show and then start telling me what I could do, what I can't do, like, it's not. I'm not, you know, like, no motherfuckers. No motherfuckers.
- [18:07]
Bonnie
I didn't have none.
- [18:08]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [18:08]
Bonnie
So let's circle back to your childhood, because I did some re. I did a bunch of research because I wanted to make sure that I got everything right. And, you know, there's a lot of layers when it comes to the mob and stuff like that. And I just want to say that, and I was telling this to them earlier, I actually have a new found respect for your father and your family, because I didn't really. You know, you hear about Sammy the Bull and you hear like, oh, he's a rat. He's this, he's that. But if you. If people ever took the time to really listen to the story, your dad, and we'll get into it, pretty much warned John Gotti and was like, hey, man, yeah, stop trying to put this all on me. Like, it's not gonna happen. And then he even tried to have their trial separated, right? And Gotti refused it. And so your dad was like, you know what? It's showtime, right? And I'm sorry, but if I was in that situation, not that I, you know, am that type of personality either, and I don't think your father is. But when you have the world coming against you like that and people are trying to pin you for that, you. You've already done your. You're gonna admit to doing your, but people are trying to pin you on more. I would have probably done the same thing your dad did.
- [19:21]
Karen Gravano
You know, I, I agree with you because at this point in my life, I can say I understand and I'm happy that he did that because he did have another route that he considered taking, and that was killing John in prison because John double crossed him.
- [19:34]
Bonnie
Right.
- [19:34]
Karen Gravano
And I think my father's famous line was, john's a double crosser. I'm a master double crosser. And that's what that life is.
- [19:40]
Bonnie
Yeah, your dad's pretty fucking gangster, dude.
- [19:43]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [19:44]
Bonnie
Like, it is wild when I the shit I was learning about him.
- [19:49]
Karen Gravano
No matter how you travel, it's good to have a plan. Some people plan every minute. No sleep, bus, museum, another museum. While others only plan to take it day by day. When it comes to your finances, a plan is just as important. You can count on Credit Karma to give you the insights you need to understand your options so you can take charge of your financial path and find your way to money. Explore how you can make financial progress with confidence today. Intuit. Credit Karma. Karma you can count on. So, yes, when, first of all, prior to them getting arrested.
- [20:26]
Bonnie
Let's go all the way back. Let's go back to you just being born into this. So you're born, you, you were raised where?
- [20:33]
Karen Gravano
In Brooklyn and Staten Island. I lived in Brooklyn until I was eight years old. Then we moved to Staten Island.
- [20:37]
Bonnie
Yeah, I'm looking at my notes, so if you see me looking down, I literally have a shit ton of notes for you. So you were raised in Brooklyn and Staten Island.
- [20:45]
Karen Gravano
Right.
- [20:46]
Bonnie
And take me on that journey. You know, your dad was a hustler. He wasn't always a gangster, correct?
- [20:52]
Karen Gravano
No, he pretty much started in the mob at a very young age. I mean, in, in. So I want to say, like, Brooklyn and Staten island is kind of like the breeding ground for the Mafia. And my father grew up, you know, intrigued with that lifestyle. My grandfather came over from Sicily and, you know, he was on the opposite side of the street. My grandfather was a legitimate guy, and the men on the other side of the street, there was always respect and the way my grandfather respected them. My father was always intrigued. And my father said, how do you know this one particular guy that my grandfather knew back from Sicily? And he said, he's a bad guy, but he's one of our bad guys. He's good to us. So that always stuck in my father's head because he's like, what did he mean? By that. But the mafia took care of their communities, they took care of their own. And that's really what cosa nostra. I mean, I can get deep with you, but cosa ostraciz.
- [21:42]
Bonnie
Yeah, let's get deep because I got. I got tons of shit in here. So.
- [21:46]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, kozanosta is this thing of ours. And what it is, is the mafia actually protected and police their own communities. Like, back in the day, someone couldn't come in a community and hurt a little kid or rape a girl, you're going to get killed. The mafia protected their own, which I.
- [22:01]
Bonnie
Feel like they should do to this day, because people who hurt children need to fucking be not on the streets.
- [22:06]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, they didn't go to the police. They went to the mafia. And when it came here, they kind of migrated to New York and Sicilians, they were immigrants. They were trying to make money. So the mafia started rackets where they got into the garment industries, the construction industry. And it really was about their own communities and benefiting themselves. And when you become part of that lifestyle, you understand if you betray that lifestyle, death is the. You know, that's the answer. That's what happens if you betray that lifestyle. So that's what kozanosha is. It's a community of men that came together to be able to provide for their families through crimes or whatever. But you're supposed to always be loyal to that lifestyle. And if you're not, it's death is the. Is the penalty. So my father was intrigued with it from a young age. You know, he was in a young group called the rampers, which eventually was like a farm team for the mob. And then he graduated because there's a level of. Yeah, he committed a murder when he was from. It was a hit from a gangster that, you know, and that's how my father made his bones. His bones in the mob, literally. And was then created to be a made man. And he was made, I think the year that I was born, which was 1972. Mm. Or something like right around there.
- [23:24]
Bonnie
I think I have it in my notes. Yeah, let me put my bifocals on. Hold on. Yeah, keep going, though.
- [23:31]
Karen Gravano
So once you're a made man, it's like, you know, 1976. 76 he got made. Oh, maybe that murder was around the time I was born.
- [23:40]
Bonnie
Swear it says Castellano inducted Sammy into the mob.
- [23:43]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. So it was right around when I was born. He. He. He loved it. You know, he felt like he was part of a brotherhood. It was a community. They took care of his. Everything that he believed in was Cosa Nostra.
- [23:57]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [23:58]
Karen Gravano
And he lived it. He, you know, it didn't matter. If your family becomes second to Cosa Nostra, that's your first family. And my father was a very loyal soldier. He was very respected. He was a very, you know, powerful person within that lifestyle. He had a huge hit team. And at the same time, Gotti was kind of growing in his ranks, but he was more from. And I know it's all New York, but back then, it's like, worlds apart. My father was from Brooklyn and he was from Queens. So I guess when they kind of met each other, they both had respect. And how the whole Gotti administration. So my father was from Brooklyn with This guy Frankie DeCicco, who was another very powerful person within the mob. And they were very much into construction. So Paul Castellano is a construction guy.
- [24:48]
Bonnie
And is that what you believe that your dad was into? Like, you didn't know that your dad was in the mob?
- [24:54]
Karen Gravano
I didn't know what the mob was. I kind of felt like we were different, but I just didn't know, you know? Cause so many people around me were the same, like my cousins and, you know, you're gonna interview Ramona later, her family. It's like we all grew up in that lifestyle. We would go to school with other people and realize that we're different. But I never, like, felt like I was an outsider because I had a whole community that was the same as us.
- [25:16]
Bonnie
Right.
- [25:17]
Karen Gravano
And, you know, they were very close knit. So my father was very big into construction. Like, he could have probably been a huge construction person and like, owns, you know, a big construction if he didn't do the mob stuff. But, yeah, that's. You know, his thing was construction. He was. He made a lot of money.
- [25:37]
Bonnie
So growing up in that, you know, of course you. You as his daughter, get the perks. When did you finally start thinking to yourself, like, something's not right here?
- [25:47]
Karen Gravano
Like, so I want.
- [25:49]
Bonnie
I don't even know if saying not right is the thing, or like, hey, I'm. Or kind of like learning that your dad was in the mob.
- [25:55]
Karen Gravano
I always was, like, very intrigued. Like, I was a daddy's girl. So I was always intrigued with him. Like. And I remember one night I was gonna. I wanted to sleep at my friend's house, and my mother was like, no, you're sleeping home, Whatever. And I remember my father had come home and he was doing something in the room. He was, like, very, you know, running around. And he had left and that night I had said to my mother, can I sleep out? And she was like, no, I want you home. And then the next morning, I see on the paper that the nightclub that my father owned, the person was killed in the club.
- [26:27]
Bonnie
Frank Fiala.
- [26:28]
Karen Gravano
Yes. And then I remember.
- [26:30]
Bonnie
Did I say it right?
- [26:30]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. So I'm reading it, and I remember hearing prior that my father was having issues with the guy. Through a dinner conversation, he was saying something to my uncle. And then I looked at the paper, and I'm. He. He's dead. And I'm like, wait, did my father have anything to do with that? And then here comes dad in the kitchen, cooking. Hey, girl, you need anything? Like, you know, it's like, no, he couldn't have. Like, and I was so young. You don't ever look at your parent like they could be a bad person. Right. Especially someone that truly takes care of you and loves you and protects you.
- [26:58]
Bonnie
That's gonna be a mind fuck almost.
- [27:00]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [27:01]
Bonnie
In some sort of way, because you get to see the loving human that he is, and that's dad. And then, you know, in the papers and on the streets, it's like he's this. You know.
- [27:11]
Karen Gravano
Right, this. Yeah, he's forced.
- [27:14]
Bonnie
Forced to be reckoned with.
- [27:16]
Karen Gravano
So for a minute, I thought about it, but I was so young, I never thought of it again. And then I had gone to a school. It was like the school on the hill in Staten island called Staten Island Academy. And I remember going over my friend's house, which she lived, like, diagonal from Paul Castellano. And I was to Paul Castellano's house with my father, just in the car a couple of times. And the girl said. I said, I think my father's friend lives over here somewhere. And she goes, oh, not that house. A big gangster lives there. And I'm like, a gangster? What's that? And in my head, you know, I was like, yeah. And she's like, I don't know. My father says that we shouldn't go by that house. A gangster lives there. And I'm like, well, maybe if that guy's a gangster, then my father could be a gangster. We could live in a big house. Like, you know, I'm a child, and this is what I'm thinking. I didn't think of it as a bad, you know, thing, but when Paul Castellano was killed, I knew that was like the. I knew my father was involved in that.
- [28:11]
Bonnie
So let's get into that. So after the whole thing with Frank Fiala, I guess what had Happened was Frank disrespected Sammy over a business deal. And that's when Sammy took him out. And after that, him and Gotti kind of teamed up to take out Paul Castellano. Correct.
- [28:31]
Karen Gravano
So after that hit, Paul Castellano was going through some stuff. What happened was Gotti's crew was being investigated for drugs. So it's a whole thing that's like a code in the mafia. You cannot sell drugs because that now triggers dea. It's a whole different game.
- [28:49]
Bonnie
Wow, I don't knew that.
- [28:51]
Karen Gravano
So. Yeah.
- [28:52]
Bonnie
Cause like movies glamorize mobsters as being drug dealers pretty much too.
- [28:57]
Karen Gravano
It's a very big no no in the mob. Like you're not supposed to be involved in that. So John Gotti's brother and someone else in his crew got arrested for heroin trafficking. But the problem was, is when they got the bugs and the search warrants on Gotti's crew, one of the bugs picked up Angelo Ruggierio, who was John Gotti's right hand man, talking about the mob. And he basically broke down the whole entire Cosa Nostra. He explained it, who said who the boss was. He explained that there's five families. So the FBI had this on tape. And Paul Castellano was so infuriated that these tapes came out that he wanted them. And Gotti kept refusing to turn them over. So by Gotti not turning them over, Paul's either gonna kill him or he's gonna, you know, shelf him, which means dismantle his whole crew. He's not gonna have any power in be shunned. So John had an incentive to want to kill Paul Castellano. But he knew he couldn't do it without my father and Frankie DeCicco because they were the true powerhouse hit teams in the mob. So my father and Frankie at the time were going through their own separate thing with John because they felt that he was not trickling down the money. I mean, with Paul at the time, Frankie, my father were having their own issues with Paul because they felt he wasn't trickling the money down to his own family. Him and Chin, which was another boss of the Genovese family, were kind of getting rich up top. And Paul wanted to be a businessman, so they were going through their own things. And Angelo Ruggerio had reached out to my father and said, listen, we wanna take out Paul. And my father's like, who's we? And he's like, me and John Gotti. And my father's like, well, why isn't John here talking to Me? He's sending you. So it kind of like, started then, but Frankie DeCicco was like, Sammy, listen, John has an ego. He's out there. He wants to be somebody, and he's.
- [30:53]
Bonnie
Always in the limelight, too.
- [30:54]
Karen Gravano
He's in the limelight? Yes. So he said, let's take out Paul because it'll be beneficial for us and let John be the boss. He has an ego. We don't want to go to war with him. We're going to go to war with all the old timers, and we're doing an unsanctioned hit. In the Mafia, you have to get it sanctioned, which means you have to get the approvals of other families. So they just did the hit. And he was like, we're gonna always have to watch our backs, so let's let John do what he does. And we'll be in the background six months from now. If we can't control him, we'll take him out. And six months from the time that they did the Castellano hit, Frankie DeCicco, who was like a brother to my father, he got blown up in a car outside a cafe in Brooklyn. So while all this was going on, this is like. I'm seeing this. This is, like, now it's really playing out. Like, I get it. My father's in the mob, and this isn't just construction or, you know, how.
- [31:46]
Bonnie
Are you feeling, though? That's got to be, like, such a heavy, heavy feeling of, like, taking on, like, the father's, you know, responsibilities, I guess, because, you know, as daughters, we kind of like.
- [31:56]
Karen Gravano
Right.
- [31:56]
Bonnie
You know, it's like, we want our dad. We want to praise our dads, but at the same time, it's like, was it cool to you that what he was doing, or were you kind of like, oh, my God, like, you know, this is like, how did you feel?
- [32:07]
Karen Gravano
So when I was home and I rested my head on my pillow at night, I was nervous. I thought about him, you know, possibly getting killed, like they were at that particular time. I mean, I hate to say it like this, but there were bodies dropping all over, so that was on my mind. But in the neighborhood that I grew up in, everybody loved it. I was looked at as the mafia princess. Oh, this is Sammy's daughter. Oh, don't worry. You don't have to pay a tab. Oh, you want to get rims on your car? Don't worry. I have. I took care. Like, you know, I was right.
- [32:35]
Bonnie
So it was like a catch 22.
- [32:36]
Karen Gravano
It was a catch 22. And I always say this in Brooklyn and Staten island in the 80s and 90s. In that whole era, it was like being Sammy the Bull and John Gotti was bigger than being Brad Pitt in Hollywood.
- [32:50]
Bonnie
Like the respect, they're notorious.
- [32:52]
Karen Gravano
Yes. And, and it's not just coming from like old women. And that's the thing about the mob, which it's so family oriented and it brings it back to Kozanosha. Right. It's this thing of ours and how they protect the families and the communities. Like old ladies would be like, sammy, how are you? I bought you this. So I'm like, how could he be such a bad guy and get so much respect?
- [33:13]
Bonnie
Right.
- [33:13]
Karen Gravano
And it's not just fear because I've seen times where people fear him, but it was truly genuine love and respect.
- [33:20]
Bonnie
Can you guess how many times you've probably tried the latest diet craze? I've tried a few and I can honestly say that Sono Bello has made a big difference for me. From south beach to keto, even intermittent fasting. I've explored many options, but none have offered the same kind of personalized care and results. The more you yo yo diet, the more stubborn your fat gets. And then you're screwed. It's not about willpower. You've willed yourself through enough brutal diets and workouts. It's probably genetics. And the doctors at Sono Bello can help determine if your body's problem areas are genetic. Wherever you have stubborn, diet resistant fat niches, Sono Bello's micro laser fat removal technology removes it for good in one comfortable visit. What I love most about Sono Bello is that it's customized to my body and my specific goals. Their non invasive procedures helped me target areas I had struggled with for years. I love how I felt more confident in my own skin. And the best part is that I didn't have to go through months of dieting or workouts that just weren't giving me the results I wanted. Those stubborn inches around your tummy are gone. Muffin tops, side fat gone. Even saggy, loose skin gone. Permanently. All that's left are the beautiful natural curves you've been hoping to get. Warm weather is almost here. Now is the perfect time to visit Sono Bello and get your goal body in time for swimsuit season. Micro laser fat removal is the permanent solution and Sono Bello's doctors are the experts. Schedule your free consultation now and you'll get their best offer of the season. Sonobello.com Bunny B U- N N I E. That's Sono B. E-L-L-O.com Bunny. I feel like, only act it out when he had to, when it was like, survival of the fittest.
- [35:00]
Karen Gravano
Right.
- [35:00]
Bonnie
I don't feel like he just went around capping people for no reason, you know?
- [35:05]
Karen Gravano
No, no.
- [35:06]
Bonnie
Like, he wasn't just doing drive bys and shit.
- [35:09]
Karen Gravano
Absolutely not. That is something that the mob don't do. It's rules and regulations. And if you violate those rules and regulations, you know, you die. And that's an oath that all those men take and they understand. And, like, my father will even say, until today, like, so be it. You know, if that's my fate, then that's what I signed up for. Yeah, I mean, he was actually a very good hitman, so. Yeah, it's crazy to say, but he was actually. So he knows that. I mean, there was a hit that came to Arizona for us.
- [35:37]
Bonnie
Wow.
- [35:38]
Karen Gravano
And they were seconds away. And then simultaneously, we were being followed by the Phoenix PD and we were under an investigation for being a drug cartel.
- [35:48]
Bonnie
Yeah, we're gonna get to that. We're gonna get to that.
- [35:50]
Karen Gravano
So there was a hit put on us, and they did come to Arizona.
- [35:54]
Bonnie
Yeah. There's so much. There's so many layers. Okay, so I. Tell me about the time that your dad pulled a gun on you for sneaking out.
- [36:01]
Karen Gravano
So as kids, like, we always would sneak out and, like, go hang out at the schoolyard. Because all the other, you know, everybody had. They could be out to whatever hours. But us, we had. We had to be home. And my father built me a beautiful house there. He made my bedroom upstairs. I had my own bathroom, a sitting area, just because he wanted my friends to come over, be comfortable. But you're not gonna be in the schoolyard. But he didn't stop us. We were out every night. And one night, Ramona and her sister, we went to the schoolyard. We were coming home, and we would climb up the roof and go into my bedroom, would enter into the bathroom of my bedroom and then go into the room. And as soon as we all climbed through the bathroom window and I opened the door, and my father was standing right there with a gun. And I was like. I don't know why, but I remember it so clearly. I'm like, dad, hi. And I have my hands up, like. And he's still holding the gun. And I'm like, I just went to Miggy's. Do you want a sandwich? Miggy's was like a deli down the block from my house. I'M like, do you want a sandwich? And he just. He looked at me, and he said, do you see this? And I'm like, mm. He's like, do you know how close you just came to getting killed? I'm like, mm. And he just slammed the door in my face.
- [37:13]
Bonnie
He was probably so furious because he accidentally pulled a gun on his daughter. You know, could you. Could you imagine the trauma that. I mean, your trauma also, but the trauma that your dad has from all the shit he's been through.
- [37:26]
Karen Gravano
So in retrospect, now, going back, it's like they were dropping bodies left and right. So he doesn't know. And he sees. Hears people running up on the roof.
- [37:33]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [37:33]
Karen Gravano
He could have accidentally killed me. And so my mother.
- [37:36]
Bonnie
Just from sneaking out.
- [37:37]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. My mother was like, your father's so upset, he almost killed you. Thank God he didn't.
- [37:42]
Bonnie
I'm totally glad that you're still here.
- [37:45]
Karen Gravano
Me too.
- [37:46]
Bonnie
So, moving on from the Castellano hit, I'm just trying to paint a picture here of all the shit that you've had to go through with your family so that people can really wrap their head around it, and my listeners can, you know, gotti started bringing too much attention, and your dad started disagreeing with it. The FBI built a case, and then your dad had to go on the lam for a little bit.
- [38:08]
Karen Gravano
Yes.
- [38:09]
Bonnie
Can we dive into that? Like, how does that make you feel as a daughter, knowing that your dad has to go into hiding because, you.
- [38:15]
Karen Gravano
Know, so I remember it, too. My cousin had a confirmation party. We were all there, and it was having a good time. And my father said, when we go home, Morogan, I have to talk to you guys. And I remember driving home in the car, I said, go upstairs, get dressed. You know, get changed out of your clothes and come back down. And I came downstairs, and he's like, I'm gonna go away. And I'm like, you're going to jail. You're going. He's like, no, I'm gonna go away. He's like, I want you to know that I'm gonna be okay, but I can't have any communication with you guys for a while. And if you need anything, you know, ask Big Louie, your Uncle Eddie. Like, you can pass messages, but I can't talk to you. And, you know. And I'm like, okay. He's like, you may hear things. I might be dead. Just know if you need to hear anything or you want to pass the message to me, you know, go through your uncle. And it was just so weird. Because there was probably so many things racing through my head, like. But I didn't ask. Like. It's just. Nobody never told me. Everyone asked me, like, you didn't ask questions? Your mother didn't ask? No, we were just very calm. It was like we were going through the motions. And this is what.
- [39:19]
Bonnie
It was normal for you? It was normal chaos. That's traumatic, Karen.
- [39:25]
Karen Gravano
So he left because they got a tip that the Gotti indictment was coming down and my father was gonna be pulled in. And John felt that if my father left, they wouldn't be able to indict them. It would screw up the case. But I think he also maybe subconsciously knew maybe he talked too much and that those tapes were a lot of him talking about my father. I don't know. He's not here to speak on it, but he just felt that my father being gone would be able to screw up the indictment. So my father went on the lam for a couple of months or whatever. I don't remember exactly how long it was. And he just said it was just too much, like, he couldn't communicate. They were following us. Like, literally. I was going to school.
- [40:08]
Bonnie
Who's they?
- [40:09]
Karen Gravano
The FBI. So I was going to school, and I'd turn and, like, there'd be the FBI. And it was, like, to the point where I'd be like, oh, hey, like, you guys want coffee or anything?
- [40:18]
Bonnie
So you ever become friendly with any of the FBI agents because they were just following you so much? Or cordial? Not friendly, but cordial?
- [40:26]
Karen Gravano
No. I would see them. No. And actually, there was a time where they. They, like, kidnapped me and brought me to Quantico, which was FBI headquarters. When my father did cooperate, and I was like, I hope we all die in this plane. My mother's like, just shut up. I was a typical teenager, but I thought, like, if. It got to the point where I almost thought, like, if I died, my father wouldn't cooperate. That's how bad I didn't want him to do it. That's how much I didn't understand. And I literally would be like, if something just happens to us, especially me, he won't go through with it. And I found out later through George Gabriel actually was an FBI agent who did an interview. And I was watching it on tv, and he said, sammy almost stopped his whole deal because of Karen. And I didn't know that because I was so against it. I, like, really couldn't, like, fathom that even happening. It's still something that I struggle with today. It took me A long time to be able to get to understand.
- [41:23]
Bonnie
And for those at home that are listening, why. Why was it so hard for you to understand and why? You know, I, I understand why, but, you know, maybe people who haven't ever really known about the mafia lifestyle, ratting.
- [41:36]
Karen Gravano
Is the ultimate betrayal.
- [41:37]
Bonnie
Right?
- [41:38]
Karen Gravano
Right. You should die before you rat. And that's what, you know, even my brother and me would have fights in the house and we'd get in trouble for telling on each other. Like that's how serious it was. So my father to do that, I couldn't understand because that's so not who he was. You know, he faced murder trials before I didn't, you know, and he later told me, and if you ever sat down with him, he'll tell you the same thing. He struggles with it. Maybe he should have killed John in jail. And I believed that for a long time.
- [42:09]
Bonnie
Would he still be in prison had he not? Yeah, he would have got life.
- [42:13]
Karen Gravano
And it wasn't even about life. I think my father at that point was the betrayal. He couldn't, he couldn't just take it.
- [42:20]
Bonnie
He was hurt and he felt disrespected. So let's circle back to that. Your dad, when you. How did you find out that your dad was going to. Because we spoke about this earlier, earlier on in the podcast was that, you know, Gotti was pretty much, you know, turning on your dad and your dad kept warning him and was like, hey man, this is not how it happened. Trying to separate the trials and then heard the tapes.
- [42:46]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [42:46]
Bonnie
And then, you know, that's when your dad decided to do what he did. How did you learn about that?
- [42:54]
Karen Gravano
So originally my father was in jail for a year. He was gonna fight the case, you know, he was. But it became the lawyers reached out to my father through my uncle and said, john's controlling the defense. He, the lawyer told him that John doesn't want the lawyer to be able to have a lawyer client meeting without John being present. He wants to know everything that goes on. The lawyer also felt that if he didn't obey John's rules, John would kill him. And then the lawyer felt if he double crossed my father, my father would kill him. So he was in a. Kind of like a catch too. But he did tell my father. And at the time, you know, John was like, well, these tapes, if you ever listen to the Gotti tapes, it's pretty much John saying, well, I lost control of Sammy the Bull. He killed this guy and took over this business. He killed this guy and took over that business. But my father was very loyal to Kozanoshon, and he didn't kill anyone unless it came orders from the boss.
- [43:51]
Bonnie
So he was just trying to pass it off on him. He was take full response.
- [43:55]
Karen Gravano
He was in a conversation at the Ravenite Social Club in the apartment upstairs with Frankie Locasio, who passed away. He was the third person that was arrested in that whole Gotti thing. And he was ranting and raving about my father. And if you listen to the full tape, Frankie says, sammy's downstairs. John. He's not like that. If you have a problem with him, talk to him. Tell him to take it in. But he's right downstairs. I'm telling you, you're missing. You know, But John just kept over talking him, and he's like, he's got construction. He killed D.B. he killed this one.
- [44:28]
Bonnie
So do you think he was building the case with the feds because he knew that the room was bugged?
- [44:34]
Karen Gravano
I. In my. When this first happened, I thought maybe. And I like to tell myself that, because I was like, oh, he set my father up. I don't know. I just. I just believe that he. And so what? Prior to that happening, the feds came to John Gotti, and they told him, there's a hit out. Chin and Gas Pipe, which are other very powerful mobsters, put a hit out because of the Castellano hit. So the feds told John, they tipped him off, but the Chin and Gas Pipe actually came to my father, and they said, john's too flashy. He's bringing attention to this lifestyle. We're gonna take him out, and we want you to be the boss. My father shook hands with Gaspipe, who's a very notorious, powerful person.
- [45:21]
Bonnie
How does he get that nickname?
- [45:23]
Karen Gravano
I don't know. I would love to know that one.
- [45:26]
Bonnie
Who came up with that nickname.
- [45:28]
Karen Gravano
I know they have all these weird nicknames, Wild but. And he told Gass, we're on opposite ends of the war now. And he went directly to John and said, listen, there's a hit on you. The feds had just told him. So he's like, how do you know that? And he's like, they came to me. They want me to take you out, and, well, whatever, but let's strap up and let's just go to war with them. John didn't look at that as this man is so loyal to me. He looked at it as jealousy and that my father could possibly have more power. So it kind of caused the rift. So what I believe in my heart was because of that, John was threatened by my father and his ego, so he was setting my father up to get killed. Because if that my father could have been his rival, you know what I mean? It could have been the person that could have took over. He was the only other powerful one that could have taken him down. So I believe that he was setting him up in that conversation, and he was trying to get Frankie in that apartment that night while the FBI was recording it to agree with him that my father's greedy, we should kill him. But Frankie wasn't biting. And he's saying, sammy's not like that. I'm telling you, he's loyal to you. Just bring him up here. So once they had that tape, that was the crumble of the Sammy the Bull, John Gotti relationship because. And the government was very strategic. They played the tapes in court, and then they locked them in the same cell they had to go in. So, of course, you know, my father's fuming. John's like, oh, I was just blowing off steam. And my father's like, oh, blowing off steam. But now I'm facing a life sentence. And now you're telling me I can't defend myself because I'm indicted on murders because of you. And this is known fact, you can go back and do all the research. They have thousands and thousands and thousands of hours of surveillance and bugs that were put on my father. And not one person was ever indicted. Nobody ever got in trouble, nor has he ever badmouthed John. So that was. And I think, you know, John knew at that point my father, like. And my father said, I did plan on killing him. I was going to wait until we got out. And I love your dad.
- [47:34]
Bonnie
He's like, you know, I was just going to take him out.
- [47:37]
Karen Gravano
So initially, he thought of doing it in jail, and I think he, like, you know, I asked him, I'm like, why? I mean, why don't you just stay true to who you were? Like, that's. Why don't you just kill him? And he just said, I just broke. Like, honestly, I just felt betrayed by a brother. I just. I started thinking of the life. Like, my mother's brother was killed because of that lifestyle. Everything that has happened and, you know, just seeing everything, he was like, I was just done. I just threw in the towel, and that was my way out, you know.
- [48:05]
Bonnie
So how did you feel when your dad sat you down and, you know, told you? You talked about being on the plane and, like, saying that you hope the plane went down and stuff like that, but did you ever tell your dad how you felt?
- [48:16]
Karen Gravano
So originally, before they even took me on the plane, it was about a week before the news came out that he was gonna flip. Mind you, I'm 19 years old at this time.
- [48:26]
Bonnie
And you don't like all the details?
- [48:27]
Karen Gravano
I have no idea. Like I'm just finding this out. The things that I believed in my head, I'm starting to read in the newspaper. But me and my father never had a conversation. Even him being in jail, it was more like, hey, how you doing? Like, you know, we never talked about criminal stuff or anything. His case. We were just there to visit him. So he calls me up to the MCC for a visit and he comes out and I just. His whole demeanor was just different. My father's like, the world can be crumbling down. He's like, we got this. We're gonna stand tall, we're gonna be together. And he came out and he just looked me in the eyes and he said, I'm gonna do something that goes against everything that I believe in and everything that I've ever taught you to believe in. And when he said that, I just knew. I was like, there's no way he's gonna tell me this right now. He said, I'm gonna cooperate with the government. And I said, you're gonna rat? And my uncle was there, and my uncle was actually the one that told my father that he should do this. Brought the messages from the lawyer. And my father had a lot of money out on the streets, and he was the one that was going to go collect all the money. And my uncle, I have all cousins there, we were all going to leave together as a family. And I remember saying, you're going to rat. And my father, I think, was like taken back. He just looked at me. And my uncle goes, watch your mouth. And my father's like, no, let her talk. And I said, this is what you're going to do. You're going to leave me and Mommy and whatever. And he's like, you're not going to understand. Maybe someday you will, but you don't understand this life. And I'm like, no, I don't understand this and I never will. And I got up, and when I got up, I started walking to the door and I came, sat back down. It was short lived, the visit. We left and we were driving back to Staten Island. And picture like I'm this mob princess, I go visit my father in jail, whatever. And in my head I'm like, the only thing I can think of, like, everyone's gonna turn on me. Like, what's gonna happen? Are we gonna get killed? Like Ramona, who I'm with every single day till today, you know, her family's in that lifestyle. Like, who do I trust? And my uncle. I get to the house, it's maybe a 45 minute drive, and my mother gets out of the car, and my uncle goes, come here, let me tell you something. I said, why? He goes, you can never say whatever happened in that room, they'll kill you, they'll kill your mother, they'll kill your brother. I'm like, I don't even care. And he said, no, you should care even if you don't care about yourself. I'm 19, remember? This is like, care about your brother, care about your mother. You can't say that. You don't understand this life. So of course I don't want anything to happen to anyone. You know, I go in the house and as soon as we walked in, my mother said, listen, I said, I'll never go in the witness protection program. I will never go with you guys. And she said, I will never go. I will stand here with you. You know, we're together. It's me, you, and your brother. So as that happened, it makes me want to cry. I know you're gonna make me cry too. But as that happened, I was like, you know, that whole week, I'm like, I'm not going. There's no way. And she's like, you don't have to. We're here. That's it. That's all you had to say. And she told my father, we're not going with you. That's it. It's done. I was never part of your mob decisions when you did stuff in the street. And I'm not gonna be part of this now. I'm gonna raise my kids and I'm gonna stand on my own. My father's like, you have a ton of money. You know, just whatever the next. I guess my father called it off. Like he told the government, like, I don't care. I'm not doing it. They're like, you can't go back into MCC now. They're gonna kill you. He's like, I don't care. So the government now says, we have to get Karen here. I'm a 19 year old. I didn't know I was this instrumental in this. And if I would have known, I would have, trust me, I would have probably stopped it. But I didn't know it was happening at the time. So I guess my mother agreed. To. He said, I want to see her one time. So she agreed. And I went to the Woodbridge. Yeah, I went to the Woodbridge Mall. And all of a sudden, I go to get out of the car, and here come these agents, and they're like, hi, Karen. I'm like, I thought it was. It. I thought I was getting kidnapped. I was taken. That's it. I'm going. I'm, like, punching you.
- [52:16]
Bonnie
I don't know how you don't have post traumatic stress disorder. Do you have ptsd?
- [52:20]
Karen Gravano
So. No, I really don't. My brother deals with some stuff. Like, he does. He has some. You know, he has more stuff about what happened in Arizona because he holds a lot of guilt.
- [52:29]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [52:29]
Karen Gravano
About the whole ecstasy thing and the whole family getting arrested, and that's really where we lost everything.
- [52:33]
Bonnie
We're gonna get to that, too.
- [52:35]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [52:35]
Bonnie
So the agents came.
- [52:37]
Karen Gravano
So the agents came. They took us on a plane.
- [52:40]
Bonnie
No, no, the agents came to the mall because your dad wanted to see you.
- [52:42]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [52:43]
Bonnie
One last time. Oh. And that's when they took you on the plane.
- [52:45]
Karen Gravano
Okay. Took us. I agreed to get in the car. I was like, just one time. So I got.
- [52:49]
Bonnie
So they just take you and leave your shit where it's at?
- [52:53]
Karen Gravano
Well, they took us. We pulled up, and we got in the car, and we went into, like, a private jet, and they took us to Quantico, which is, like, FBI headquarters. And it's just kind of, like, cliche, because when we got there, they had, like, cannolis and Italian bread and mozzarella. And I'm like, what is this, Italian visa? My father's like, yeah, they overdid it. They were, like, trying to make you happy. Like, whatever, I guess. So they have this whole Italian feast out, and he's like, what do you want? And I said, I want to know the truth. Like, why are you doing this? And we sat there for hours, and he explained it, and still I didn't really comprehend it. And he's like, but you don't have to come. And he's like, I'm always gonna love you, and I'm always gonna be here. And I'm like, I'll always love you, too, but I'm not going in the witness protection program. Like, we agreed to love each other, but I wasn't. And I was like, okay. So he's like, I'm just gonna let you know that some things are gonna come out. And I'm like, okay, like, what? He's like, you're like. Like, murder. And so I Was like, okay. He's like, yeah, I was involved in murder. And I'm like, that man, when I was a kid and you left the house at the nightclub, he's like. And Paul Castellano, he's like. And like, 17 other ones. I'm like, 17. I didn't really. I mean, I'm not laughing because, you know, people did. I was like, I didn't think it was going to be that much.
- [54:10]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [54:10]
Karen Gravano
And, you know, there was a murder that was involved, my mother's brother. So we as a family have to accept that and understand. And it made me have to really dig deep inside. I couldn't be angry at just one murder when there was all these others. And like, what is this lifestyle? So from the time I left that visit and then I get home, right? So we leave that visit, and the news broke that he was going to cooperate. We're driving, and it wasn't supposed to break yet. And it's literally on 1010 news and all. I'm like, every station, like, the Underbus, the most powerful organized crime family cooperated. I'm like, no, change the station. I'm like, we get to the house, and the whole house is surrounded by news media, and I'm like, we go inside, and of course, my father's people come over, and my uncle, who was in that conversation, is, like, there with them, and he's playing this whole role like he wasn't involved. And none of us knew that that conversation he's acting like never took place. And they're like, we're gonna give you cyanide, and you're gonna go take this to your father, and you're gonna tell him to take himself out. They don't know that I just came from visiting him. So I'm like, They're telling you this? Yeah.
- [55:19]
Bonnie
That is so hurtful and traumatic to say that to somebody's daughter.
- [55:23]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. And that's the fact. My father had called. I just started crying. I'm like, you have to take yourself out. You can't do this. You can't. And he said that he knew where it was coming from, because he's like, who's there? I'm like, John Gotti Jr. Uncle Eddie. This one. That one. He said. I hung the phone up and I just said, what did I do? Like, here's my family in a house with people that are just. She trusted them, like, a day ago. Like, these were people that would die for her. And now they're telling her to go kill her father. Like, it's Just. He said, what did I fucking do? And he said, I hung the phone up. I said, I looked at myself in the mirror. He goes, it was my weakest moment. But I said, sammy, you have to go all the way now. You know? And that's when he. He did it. He. You know, the feds came, and, I mean, the rest is history. The trial, the whole nine. But it was crazy.
- [56:13]
Bonnie
During all this, how is Karen feeling? Are you angry? Are you sad?
- [56:18]
Karen Gravano
I'm so angry, yeah. And everybody, like, is what I thought. So here's all my. Nobody was. They were told, you're not allowed to go to her house. She's not allowed here. I'm 19, so I was shunned. So what do I want to do? I want to act out, and I want to be bad, because if I'm bad, maybe these people will accept me again, and they won't think what my father did. So what did I do? Sold drugs, dated bad boys, home invasions. Like, it was just. It was a bunch of stuff that was out of my character, but I just acted so, like, yeah, you were.
- [56:52]
Bonnie
Traumatized and you were. You. You had a voice, but you didn't really have a choice, you know, so it was like you just went balls to the wall. Like, acted out of rebellion. I mean, rightfully so, because you, you know, you didn't ask for all this.
- [57:09]
Karen Gravano
No. And it was the other. You know, even people, like, I didn't trust anybody Italian, like, to be around them.
- [57:15]
Bonnie
Were you scared to death to, like, go anywhere or, like, did you ever feel like somebody was going to take you out because of everything that had happened?
- [57:23]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, I did. Especially when the hit came and they, you know, the government came and told my father there was a hit. My brother was 15 or 16 years old, you know, so. But my outlet was. Well, first of all, I would hang out. I went to, like, a whole other. Then I started hanging out with gangs in Coney Island. It was, you know, I stayed away from Italians. I really positioned myself. I was like, no more mob. Now I'm into drug. Drug dealing and stuff.
- [57:47]
Bonnie
But you're like, no more mobsters. I'm just gonna go to drug lords.
- [57:50]
Karen Gravano
Yes, kind of how it happened. So, yeah, I mean, I always thought about it, but it's just. I couldn't, you know, I live my life. Took some ecstasy, went to clubs.
- [58:01]
Bonnie
Just got to have kind of a childhood and, you know, just learn from your mistakes. So when did you decide to go back out to Arizona to reunite with your dad? Is that what happened?
- [58:12]
Karen Gravano
Yes.
- [58:13]
Bonnie
Okay.
- [58:14]
Karen Gravano
So my father had. I was here, and I had a weed service, and things started getting crazy, but that was a whole other thing. People were getting robbed, shootings. This.
- [58:24]
Bonnie
I was like, well, this is before weed was legal, too, right? How did you have a fucking weed service? An oral girl.
- [58:29]
Karen Gravano
Marijuana.
- [58:30]
Bonnie
They have her everywhere now, too. Like, you were, like, before your time.
- [58:34]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. And we. I mean, we. I can sit here and ramble off every person we deliver to, but I'm talking, like, not even rappers, actresses, models. There was lawyers.
- [58:44]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [58:45]
Karen Gravano
And, you know, judges. Like, it was just crazy. So. But it started escalating. And I remember one time I went to the Source magazine, and my. My dealer name was Gina. I would go in and act. And this is before my father was in the newspaper, mind you, all the time. But I would just go buy a whole other name. So I was talking to the guy.
- [59:04]
Bonnie
And what was your other name that you would call? Gina. Okay, Gotcha.
- [59:08]
Karen Gravano
So I'm talking to this guy who believed my name was Gina. This. I used to, you know, sell him weed for, like, months. And he worked at the Source magazine, and he used to give us tickets to events. So he says, hey, what are you going to do tonight? And I go, I don't know. Probably nothing. He's like, well, here, Karen. Here's some tickets. So I go, oh, thank you. And I caught it. But I was like, wait, did he say. But I was like, did he say Karen? Did he not say Karen? Whatever? So I get up and I go to leave. And he's like, all right, Ms. Gravano, I'll see you later. So I stop and I look, and he goes, everyone knows who you are. He's like, your father's in the newspaper every day. He's like. And I heard a situation happen at a club where you guys were involved, and there was, like, some mess happened. He goes, listen, if some shit goes down, you're gonna be the fall. You know, the fall guy or the fall girl. Yeah, it's gonna be a problem. He's like, you seem so different, like, intelligent and stuff. Why don't you just, like, do something legitimate? And I'm like, why don't I. Because I could, right? Like, I don't know. I'm like, why didn't. Why am I doing this?
- [60:09]
Bonnie
And isn't that crazy how you could be, like, living a certain lifestyle and one person can say something to you, and you're just like. It's like an epiphany. Like, a light bulb goes off and you're like, you know what, motherfucker? You're right. Yeah.
- [60:22]
Karen Gravano
So I'm like, let me go to Arizona. I want to go to skin school. I'm going to start something totally different. And my father had just gotten out of prison and.
- [60:30]
Bonnie
Had you talked to your dad in between here? Did he know?
- [60:33]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, he didn't know all the stuff that was happening like, that I was doing, but he would get bits. And actually, while I was with Lee, we were living in the house. He said the FBI came one day and they're like, listen, your daughter's gonna have a big problem. They're about to raid her house. And he's like, for what? And he's like, bank robbery. And he's like, well, at least she graduated from petty larceny. My father's a jokester. But it was starting to. He kind of knew, like, I was rebelling and doing stuff. So when it came out, we just had a coming to life moment and we had a whole conversation. He described everything and really got into detail, and he's like, I just want a different life for you guys. I just want you to have kids and never have to look over your shoulder. And we had that whole conversation, and I agreed to come to Arizona, and I was pregnant when I came. When I came back.
- [61:29]
Bonnie
Yeah. How old were you?
- [61:31]
Karen Gravano
26. When I got pregnant, I was, like, around there.
- [61:34]
Bonnie
And Lee is not the father.
- [61:36]
Karen Gravano
No.
- [61:36]
Bonnie
Okay.
- [61:38]
Karen Gravano
He is not the father.
- [61:39]
Bonnie
He is not the father.
- [61:41]
Karen Gravano
No.
- [61:43]
Bonnie
Okay. Do you want to talk about your baby daddy?
- [61:46]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [61:46]
Bonnie
Okay.
- [61:46]
Karen Gravano
I met Karina's father, so that was a whole other thing, because my daughter's biracial, so her dad is black, Cuban, and Puerto Rican. And that was, for me, like, after everything that happened, I just wasn't attracted to Italian men anymore. I just. I just didn't know who to trust rightfully. So, yeah, it just was like, you've.
- [62:06]
Bonnie
Been through some shit, girl.
- [62:08]
Karen Gravano
So when I had met her dad, it was like, you know, he's. It. He was. You know, it was. Her dad's a great guy. We're like, the best of friends now still. And, yeah, when I didn't know how that was gonna be my father, like, you know, in the lifestyle that I grew up in, it's usually like, you date your family, meets the. The person, and here I am, I'm pregnant.
- [62:31]
Bonnie
Where'd you meet him up?
- [62:32]
Karen Gravano
I met him at the China Club in New York City.
- [62:35]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [62:35]
Karen Gravano
He was actually with Jam Master J, which is from, like, Run dmc, And I was doing oh, geez.
- [62:41]
Bonnie
No yeah.
- [62:43]
Karen Gravano
And I was doing my weed thing, and I see them all come in, and my Jennifer's like, they look like they smoke weed. So I walk over and I, like, give them some weed. I'm like, hey, if you want more of that, hit me up. He's like, gina, my name. My number's on the card. So for, like, the first two weeks.
- [63:01]
Bonnie
I'm only calling you Gina.
- [63:02]
Karen Gravano
From now on, the first two weeks that we kind of dated, he thought I was Gina.
- [63:07]
Bonnie
Like, so he had no idea who you were?
- [63:10]
Karen Gravano
No, because, like, back then, even was like, sammy the Bull.
- [63:14]
Bonnie
Like, the name was more notorious in the face.
- [63:17]
Karen Gravano
The face. It wasn't. So I. And especially, like, in Staten island, everyone knew who I was. But here I'm going all the way to, like, Queens, and, like, it's, like, a world away now. But he. So I had gone, and it was. My father was on the front page of the newspaper, and I'm like, in the deli. And he's, like, picking it up, and he's reading it and stuff. And we get in the car, he has the newspaper sitting right there. He's like. And I'm like, I have something to tell you. And he's like, what? I'm like, my name's not Gina. And he's like, who are you then? And then he's like. And he's laughing. I'm like, no, it's really not Gina. And he's like, well, what's your name then? I'm like, karen. And he's like, so why would you tell me, Gina? I'm like, I pull the paper over. I'm like, that's my dad. He's like, okay, it was funny.
- [64:06]
Bonnie
Was he bothered by it at all?
- [64:08]
Karen Gravano
No, but I think he was just in shock the whole. But no, he was just like, whatever. It is what it is.
- [64:15]
Bonnie
I love that.
- [64:15]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, you deserve that. So, yeah, then Dave and I moved to Arizona.
- [64:20]
Bonnie
Dave?
- [64:21]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [64:22]
Bonnie
Karina's dad. Okay. Awesome.
- [64:24]
Karen Gravano
We moved to Arizona, and we rekindled my father. We're, you know, back in the day.
- [64:30]
Bonnie
What was that like, seeing your dad after not seeing him for so long?
- [64:34]
Karen Gravano
It was just like, we didn't miss a beat. And my father's such, like, a businessman. Like, he's like a hustler. So I always admired that about him, and I think that I took that away as well. Excuse me, but I feel like he was already in. He had a pool company. He was already doing construction. He was building apartment complexes. So I'm like, okay. I kind of Stepped right in Arizona. Yeah, he already started all that. So when I had come out, that's what we were all getting into. He had a construction office and my cousin's boyfriend started dabbling around with ecstasy. And of course, he was huge back then. Yeah, it was like the drug of choice.
- [65:15]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [65:16]
Karen Gravano
So, you know, here I go is I know people in New York where you can get it from. And it kind of just took on. It was like they had an investigation going on prior to the people who we dealt with, they were watching them. But when we kind of stepped in, it was a two month investigation. Because they realized who my brother was and who my father was, they were able to make a case real quick. They didn't have anything on my father really, but they had on my brother. And I feel like your dad is.
- [65:46]
Bonnie
So smart, he never gets shit pinned on him unless it's other people getting him caught up.
- [65:52]
Karen Gravano
That's exactly what happened. So when they arrested all of us, which is kind of crazy, and I learned a lot about the legal system. That's why I'm so into prison reform now and stuff. But they created this case and they called it a universal case, which means they arrested my mother because they said she was the bankroller, because there was money kept in her house. My father, who they said was the boss, my daughter's father, who was the runner. Me. I was the go between where I and my, you know, between Dave and my brother. And my brother was the muscle out there that really brought it all in. So they had a lot of evidence on my brother. And my father's like, fuck it, I'm going to trial. They don't have nothing. Even me, I had nothing. I'm literally charged with illegal use of an electronic communication in a drug transaction.
- [66:38]
Bonnie
Wow.
- [66:39]
Karen Gravano
I never had a crime before that. So I would have got a slap on the hand. But because my father, Sammy the Bull, we were all facing major time. They did all this forfeiture, which is like, if they go in and say it's ill gotten gains, we now have to prove. Which they knew. Yeah. Which they knew where we got it. I mean, my father, when he left New York after the whole mob thing or whatever, he had millions of dollars.
- [67:05]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [67:05]
Karen Gravano
You know, we had houses, cars, restaurants, but they took it all. And they took my father. And they basically had everyone saying that Sammy was the boss. Meanwhile, he was bringing these kids in. The kid that my brother was dealing with, he came to my father like, listen, I sold drugs or whatever, I got some money, I want to become Legit. So my father brought him into the pool company, but they were still hustling and doing whatever, and, you know, you're guilty by association. My father had the name, and it makes careers. Like, Janet Napolitano became the governor of Arizona after that. Then she went on to become the Homeland Security. The head of Homeland Security.
- [67:40]
Bonnie
Because she took down Sammy the Bull.
- [67:42]
Karen Gravano
Yes. It's crazy. So the whole case in Arizona, pretty much, they were like, listen, Sammy, you're an embarrassment. You got six years for 19 murders, and now you're out here selling ecstasy with your kids. We don't care what your involvement is. You take the fall because we have to redeem ourselves. And that's pretty much what happened in Arizona. You know, a little bit more complicated, but it's pretty much the gist of it. And my brother went to jail for nine and a half years. My daughter's father went to jail for nine and a half years. And, you know, me and my mother stayed home and raised the kids.
- [68:14]
Bonnie
Dad. How long did dad go away for?
- [68:16]
Karen Gravano
18 years. 18 years for that. Like, they just, you know, threw the book at him, which. Anyone would never got that. But here we are, you know, I mean, we.
- [68:27]
Bonnie
So what do you do after your brother's in jail, your dad's in jail, and you are left at home, and baby daddy's in jail, and you are left at home with your mom to literally pick up the pieces with nothing left. Like, they took. They wiped you guys out.
- [68:43]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [68:43]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [68:44]
Karen Gravano
Thank God I went to school to become an esthetician. And then I also. Well, at the time, I was. Who's going to hire me? Right? So my friend is like. She was dancing at the strip club, Christie's Cabaret. She's like, come into the club. I'm like, girl, I just had a kid. I'm fat, I'm chubby. There's no way I can dance. Or she.
- [69:02]
Bonnie
Beautiful face.
- [69:03]
Karen Gravano
Thank you. She goes, no. Well, maybe you can come in and be a house mom. I'm like. She's like, just come in. We'll figure something out. There's money there. So I come in and I meet Warren, who's, like, amazing. He's very big in that industry or whatever. He's like, come here, sweetheart. Let's talk. And I go in the room and I'm like, just like, I came from New York, and the hustle is like, men are hustlers out there, right? And it's more organized crime, drugs, this. I walked into a whole world that.
- [69:28]
Bonnie
Was like, women are the hustlers.
- [69:30]
Karen Gravano
Women and costumes. And I was like, what's happening here? Like, I'm all.
- [69:34]
Bonnie
So you're like, honey, I'm home.
- [69:36]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. Literally. So he takes me in the office, and he's like, listen, I know your story. I know everything. I'm like, yeah, I just want to be low key. He goes, well, I could hire you for the house. Mommy's like, but I can't fire her right now. It'll be a transition. What do you do? I said, well, I know how to do skincare and stuff. He goes, what about makeup? I'm like, kinda, yeah. It's like, good. You're the new makeup artist. He goes, you're gonna come in here and you're gonna. I'll never forget this. He was like, you're gonna make these women need you. And I looked at him, and he goes, they're gonna like you, but when they need you, you'll make money. I'm like, what does he mean by that? It took me a long time because I actually did go from the makeup artist to being the house mom. And I learned the whole flow of the club and how from the minute someone walks in that has money to, like, calling the girls and the girls that don't tip stay longer on stage. And I kind of, like, ran all that. Cause I am. It's in my nature. And I killed it. And I started working in the strip club, and when Mob Wives came calling, that's where I was working. We were actually gonna try to film there and stuff, but everyone was like, no, we don't want cameras here. So, yeah, it's crazy. I went. And it's. It's just. Honestly, the whole east coast is so different from the West Coast.
- [70:55]
Bonnie
Oh, for sure.
- [70:56]
Karen Gravano
I grew up on the West Coast.
- [70:57]
Bonnie
Yes.
- [70:58]
Karen Gravano
And you think because you're coming from the east coast, we're so fast and slick and, like, we could talk circles around you guys, and nobody.
- [71:05]
Bonnie
Yeah, it's even hustlers. I grew up in that industry, so, I mean, I know nothing but women who get money, you know? And it's just a different mindset. I feel like just west coast women are just trained to go, you know, like, from. Get. You just trained to go.
- [71:21]
Karen Gravano
And some of my best friends are still from there. I remember when I first went into the club, the girl's like, she's one of my best friends. She was like, yeah, girl. So, Maria, I got your back. She had just come back from the Bunny Ranch, and I'm like, this is. She's like, yeah, I Caught a case. I had to go out there and make 10 racks real quick. And I'm like, that's a different life.
- [71:38]
Bonnie
I never did the Bunny Ranch. That's a different lifestyle. Those girls out there. Those girls out there are just savages. Like, I have the utmost respect for them because that's a whole different lifestyle. I couldn't. Too many rules. I'm, like, a renegade.
- [71:50]
Karen Gravano
And I think, for me, the biggest thing that. Why I wrote my book that was like, that's my baby. Like, mob wise was just. But my book was.
- [71:58]
Bonnie
What's the name of your book?
- [71:59]
Karen Gravano
It was called Mob Daughter. It was a New York Times bestseller.
- [72:03]
Bonnie
Yes, baby.
- [72:04]
Karen Gravano
I was very proud of it. But for me, I just came to terms with everything in my life, like, who I am. You have to be responsible for your own choices. Like, I think I blamed my father, and then I was mad at this, and just the way I acted out. And it's just everybody goes through those emotions, but once you can kind of, like, finally sit down and internalize who you are, that's when I was just like, okay. And I hate people that judge other people.
- [72:29]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [72:30]
Karen Gravano
So my whole life, I've been judged, oh, Sammy's daughter, she can't come. Don't put her on the show. Or, you know, she did this, or she said this on the show, or she worked in a strip club, or. It's like, when I. When I finally came out on the reality show, and I sat back one day, and I'm like, look at all these people on social media, like, sitting here just judging other people. They must be such really lonely people in their lives, miserable. And it's just. Every day just made me come back stronger. And that's just. You know, I wound up getting a deal after Mob Wives, I got a deal with the network. So I produced a show called Families of the Mafia. We did two seasons. They were gonna come back for a third season. But my daughter's like, if you fucking associate me as a mob kid one more time, because my daughter is a hustler in her own right. She works in finance.
- [73:17]
Bonnie
Isn't that crazy how it comes around full circle?
- [73:20]
Karen Gravano
She's like, I don't want to be known as this mob grandkid. What are you gonna be like? My kids. Kids. Kids are gonna be like, the mom. This is my. So my great, great, great grandfather would be still doing shows, so we decided not to go with the third season, but I actually am working on a scripted show with them.
- [73:36]
Bonnie
So I'm excited for you. Have you ever gone to therapy?
- [73:40]
Karen Gravano
No.
- [73:41]
Bonnie
You have never gone to therapy? After all you've been through, girl, you are a tough cookie, dude. Holy shit. And to be so well rounded, right? And like, do you suffer from anxiety or anything like that?
- [73:54]
Karen Gravano
My daughter does. Because my daughter was actually in the house when they arrested her father. When later on he got re arrested and I think that. And she was also in the house when they arrested us. She was a baby and I don't think she could remember it, but I don't know if it. Trauma. She's always had anxiety as a kid. And I'm like, her, her Xanax, like she calls me like I always keep my phone closed because when she needs, she'll like, what are you doing? I'm here. Okay, bye. She just has to hear my voice.
- [74:19]
Bonnie
Do you ever feel like all of that's gonna catch up to you one day? Like mentally and emotionally? Or do you just always feel like you've always had to be the rock?
- [74:27]
Karen Gravano
I feel like I always had to be the rock. Like. And I'm not just saying this because you're here. Remember I had told you. So my brother, I think he's. He. Everything that happened with the whole ecstasy thing, I think he holds a lot of guilt. So he comes out of prison and he struggles with, you know, some mental health issues and like just, just, you know. And then one day like me and him were having a heart to heart and I'm like, I'm always the rock for that. And then I'm sleeping, it's 3:00 in the morning. And he sends me this song. And I'm like, I told you. And I'm like, I can't see. I don't have my glasses. And put. And I hear somebody save me. And I'm like, the fuck is this? And I'm listening and listening and in our. In New York, it's three hour difference. And I'm like calling him. I'm calling. I actually sent the song to my father. My father's like, yeah, I know jelly roll. What do you mean? He's like, I listen. I like the music.
- [75:19]
Bonnie
My husband's gonna love that. Sammy the Bull knows who he is.
- [75:21]
Karen Gravano
He's like, I love the music. So I'm like, no, but Jarrod sent this to me. And I'm like. And I. I know this is. I'm not just saying it because I'm having this conversation, but I listened to this song and it's like I kind of internalized with it and I'm like, so when Gerard. When I finally got a hold of him, like, whoa, are you okay? And he's like, no. He's like, I watched a documentary on this guy. You don't know about him? Like, no. I said, but could you have chose a different song? Like, I'm thinking something's, like, going on with you.
- [75:47]
Bonnie
Poor Karen.
- [75:48]
Karen Gravano
And he's like, no, whatever. So I watched the documentary. It was great, by the way. But I think sometimes people find people that they could relate to. And maybe for my brother, whatever he was going through, like, he just. I mean, he was like, no, I was just sending it to you because I liked it. I wanted you to see the documentary. I'm like, yeah, could have put that.
- [76:06]
Bonnie
In the thing instead of just send the text with the song.
- [76:10]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. So I feel like even me being able to express myself on the show or talk about it, maybe that was my therapy.
- [76:19]
Bonnie
Yeah.
- [76:19]
Karen Gravano
You know, I think a lot of times being able to get it out, where it's not like just your people, you could say it and other people can hear it. It's like you go through things, and sometimes writing books or therapy, it was a huge therapy for me. You know, you don't understand it, but when someone else is like, thank you. You know, I read your story. It was a struggle. I was going through a hard time. Might not be the same hard time I was going through or, you know, different situations. Working in the strip club, I met a lot of girls. And, you know, I think for a big thing with me, it was like, I was so angry. But everybody has a story. Yeah, there's one that stands out in my head. This girl would work in there, and she was beautiful, and she would come in and just be like, a bitch, right? I was like, I don't even like her. Like, me and her. And I had makeup out one day, and she's just touching my stuff, and I'm like, you know, I buy that, right? You have to tip for it. And she flings it down. I'm like, oh, my God. Me and this girl, one day are gonna be rolling around the floor. So one day she's in the dressing room and she's holding her head, and I'm like, what happened? And she's like, you feel this? And it was like a big bump in the head. Anyway, to make a long story short, she told me that her father had raped her and then hit her in the head with a thing. And it was just like. And I got it at that moment, I'm like, that's why you're so angry.
- [77:31]
Bonnie
Oh, my gosh.
- [77:32]
Karen Gravano
So everybody has a story, and everybody goes through their stuff, and sometimes just being able to sit down and talk about it, you know?
- [77:37]
Bonnie
Yeah, absolutely. Can we talk about your dad's Instagram? I just discovered. The only reason why I discovered this is because Ramona told me about it.
- [77:49]
Karen Gravano
Oh, yeah.
- [77:49]
Bonnie
And I went, she thinks it's hilarious. I went and looked at it yesterday. He is hilarious. What the hell is dad doing over there?
- [77:57]
Karen Gravano
He's just having a ball.
- [77:59]
Bonnie
Sammy the Bull is on Instagram.
- [78:02]
Karen Gravano
He's probably jealous. I'm here with you now, too.
- [78:05]
Bonnie
Tell dad, come on the show. I would love to have him. He did. I just found out that he did a podcast with our homie Brendan Chob.
- [78:12]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [78:12]
Bonnie
And we love Brendan.
- [78:14]
Karen Gravano
So.
- [78:14]
Bonnie
Yeah, tell him he's always welcome to come on the show.
- [78:16]
Karen Gravano
Tell him. He'll love it.
- [78:17]
Bonnie
Yeah. I checked out his Instagram, and I was like, this is hilarious. Like, what a crazy world we live in. And different times we live in. That he can have done everything that he did, being an underboss and all this to being kind of like a comedian on social media. Like, is that not crazy how our parents get older and get weirder?
- [78:40]
Karen Gravano
That's what. I'm so cool.
- [78:42]
Bonnie
My dad's so cool and so weird. Now I'm just like, why couldn't you have been this guy back then, you know?
- [78:47]
Karen Gravano
My father has always been a jokester. Like, he'll always make light. And I remember when my whole family got arrested and we're in court and we're, like, going to take our pleas, and I was just, like, blank. Like, I forgot everything, you know, I'm, like, scared. I get up there, they're like, how old are you? And I'm like, I couldn't even think how old I was. So I look back and my father goes, don't lie now. You're on to Oath. And I'm like. And the whole courtroom cracks up. And I'm like, he just always. But, yes, he's funny.
- [79:13]
Bonnie
That is hilarious.
- [79:14]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [79:14]
Bonnie
Well, what can we expect from you? What can. What's Karen got cooking in the kitchen, man?
- [79:20]
Karen Gravano
So I just opened a spa in Hazlet, New Jersey. Body Depot. We do body contouring facials. And remember, I went to school as an esthetician back in the day? So that has still stuck with me. Literally, like, there. I do the treatments. I love it. I love being there. And I'm also working in negotiations with Showtime right now for a show.
- [79:40]
Bonnie
So hustling Spirit girl. I love that about you. It's so admirable.
- [79:45]
Karen Gravano
I do want to write a second book. I felt like people have asked me, and I just wasn't at a place where I felt like significant things happen in my life that I was. I felt like, you know, I want to really.
- [79:57]
Bonnie
You're at a place where you felt like significant things haven't happened in your life?
- [80:01]
Karen Gravano
Well, prior I wrote one book. Now I have to have. Now I have a couple more things that happen. So, yeah, I'm actually helping someone get out of prison, up, turn over a life sentence, which is very important to me, like prison reform. So I've been working a lot on that because it's just, you know, a lot of stuff has gone on with that and. Yeah, just waking up, being me, just being calm.
- [80:24]
Bonnie
Like, how this is your time to just really just shine and just. You went through so much chaos in the beginning of your life that I.
- [80:31]
Karen Gravano
Feel like this is.
- [80:32]
Bonnie
This is your time to shine and just coast. Like, you deserve that, dude.
- [80:36]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. Thank you.
- [80:38]
Bonnie
I appreciate you so much coming on this podcast. And I hope that people getting to hear your story now from your mouth and you know, everybody, when they do the Mob Wife aesthetic, like, it's cute and we all do it, you know, for views and stuff like that, but there's a real lifestyle behind that.
- [80:54]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [80:54]
Bonnie
You know, and you definitely embrace it and embody it. And the fact that you've never had therapy fucking is mind blowing to me.
- [81:01]
Karen Gravano
I get asked that and a lot of Even, like, for me, I felt like, obviously I'm really attached to that life. And when we did Mob Wives, they were like. I said, it's. There's so much more to the lifestyle. And if you're really gonna put me in a category with any woman, even though they don't like me, the Victoria Gotti's and the people that have struggled, trials, tribulations, because no matter whatever happened between our. I mean, we'll always be joined whether we like each other or not. So I will always have a mutual respect for them in a way, because I understand, like, they lost their father, too. There are really people out there that lost their parents. That lifestyle, whether it's dead or in prison, and it's not easy. So for me, even when I got out there and everyone's like, mom, mob wives, they're making a mockery or they're doing this, and it was what it was, and it was definitely not intended for that. And I think when you really watched it, you understood that it was about women and their stories. But for all my other mob wife families out there, or mob families out there, like, I. It is. And for you to say that because it is a lifestyle and there's a lot more behind it than just a mob wife aesthetic or, you know, movies. It's a lot. And it's. It's. It'll be with me forever, but it is who I am, and it's made me who I am. And that's why I will continue to be forever. You know, everything that is, whether it's the bad things or the good things, are, you know, sketched in my life and will make me always want to be able to talk to people or help anyone in a situation, because I understand that.
- [82:33]
Bonnie
So I love that you're a strong ass bitch.
- [82:35]
Karen Gravano
Thank you. So are you.
- [82:37]
Bonnie
You don't. You don't have to compliment me back. You got to take your flowers.
- [82:41]
Karen Gravano
No, because I. Thank you. Thank you. But I also when. Because I know. Because Ramona said, oh, Bunny's doing, you know, homework on us. Let me do a little homework on Bunny here. But I admire everything that you've been through, too, and you're real. Right? So even when we had that conversation on the phone before this, I was like, I felt like I was talking to one of my good friends. And to be able to sit down with people that understand, maybe it's a different lifestyle, but you went through your trials and tribulations and we could sit here and have a real conversation. That's why you're doing so good. And I'm proud of you, too.
- [83:15]
Bonnie
I appreciate you so much. That means a lot to me. And you're gonna have to come back and visit me because I want you on the podcast. Anytime you have anything cool going on, just come and this is your platform, and I'll always give it to you.
- [83:25]
Karen Gravano
Thank you. And now that you said that Sammy will be watching, he's been like, dude.
- [83:31]
Bonnie
I'll shave my pants. And Sammy the bull calls. I'll be like, hello. I don't even know what I would say. I'd be so excited. I don't fangirl much over things, but I just feel like you and your family, you guys have really just, you know, you guys are a part of history, you know, and, like, there's a lot of people that are, like, you know, famous and stuff like that, but you guys are literally a part of American history.
- [83:50]
Karen Gravano
Yeah.
- [83:50]
Bonnie
Like, that's wild.
- [83:52]
Karen Gravano
Yeah, it is.
- [83:53]
Bonnie
So why don't you shout out all your social media so that people can find you websites for your business, all that jazz.
- [83:59]
Karen Gravano
Okay, so Karen Gavano is. I'm on Instagram, and the Instagram for the Body Depot is the Body Depot. The website for it is bodydepot Clinic. And that's my baby. Like, I love. I love anything skincare. I love being there. I love kind of like building something from the ground. So, yes, that's my baby.
- [84:21]
Bonnie
We're gonna come visit you next year. Next time we actually have some time, and we're in New York because we do come on tour and stuff like that, or New Jersey. We're gonna come and spend a day, and we'll probably bring the cameras and stuff like that and just get some treatments.
- [84:32]
Karen Gravano
Okay. Yeah. I got you, girl. I got you.
- [84:34]
Bonnie
I think it'll be awesome.
- [84:35]
Karen Gravano
Yeah. And then I'm working on something big, so look out for it. Hopefully it'll be on TV soon.
- [84:40]
Bonnie
And again, thank you so much, Karen, for coming.
- [84:42]
Karen Gravano
Thank you for having me.
- [84:44]
Bonnie
Thank you guys so much for listening to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.