TBT: Sloan Bella - Mystical Mother

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dumb Blonde Productions – Episode TBT: Sloan Bella - Mystical Mother

Introduction

In this compelling episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast, hosted by Bonnie of Dumb Blonde Productions, the conversation delves deep into themes of trauma, psychic abilities, spirituality, and personal resilience. The guest, Sloan Bella, affectionately referred to as the "mystical mother," shares her profound life experiences, offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into her journey from a tumultuous childhood to embracing her spiritual gifts.

1. Childhood and Adoption Trauma

Sloan opens up about her early life, highlighting the profound impact of being adopted at just ten months old. She describes her adoptive mother's controlling and abusive behavior, which included invasive actions like removing bathroom doors and checking her inappropriately.

[05:10] Sloan Bella: "My mom had me and gave me up after she gave birth to me, and I went into the foster care for 10 months... looking back on it, she may have actually had a few screws missing."

The trauma of her upbringing led Sloan to repeatedly run away from home during her formative years, seeking solace through distance running and eventually finding refuge in the world of stripping and waitressing to support herself.

2. Psychic Abilities and Experiences

Sloan reveals her innate psychic abilities, describing visions and interactions with spirits from a young age. She recounts seeing "earwig men" (aliens) around her bed and experiencing visions of deceased family members, which were dismissed by her adoptive father as mere childish imaginings.

[14:30] Sloan Bella: "I was a trance channel, meaning I would step out of my body to connect with people who have passed on."

Her psychic sensitivity intensified over the years, allowing her to predict tragedies, such as the untimely deaths of her sons Keith and Jason. These abilities have been both a source of strength and profound sorrow, shaping her role as a spiritual guide for others grappling with loss.

3. Relationships and Marriage

Sloan discusses her complex relationship with John, her soulmate, whom she met in a strip club at age 14. Their connection was immediate and karmic, destined to endure despite challenges. Their marriage brought stability and the joy of motherhood, yet it also intertwined their lives with sorrow through the loss of their sons.

[65:12] Sloan Bella: "Our dads worked together... we have similar backgrounds. It’s karmic."

Their bond, however, was tested by the tragic deaths of their sons, leading to a deep emotional connection grounded in shared grief and healing.

4. Parenthood and Loss

The heart of Sloan's narrative revolves around her experiences as a mother and the devastating loss of her children. She shares the harrowing details of how Keith died on his motorcycle and Jason's subsequent death, both of which left indelible scars on her psyche.

[84:53] Sloan Bella: "Seeing it just blew my mind. It fractured me."

Despite the pain, Sloan emphasizes the importance of celebrating her sons' lives through memorials and creating a supportive community for other grieving parents. Her approach to grief is both unconventional and deeply personal, offering solace to those navigating similar losses.

5. Astrology Insights

Throughout the conversation, Sloan provides astrological analyses of Bonnie and her husband, Jay. She interprets their birth charts, offering insights into their personalities, karmic paths, and future trajectories. Sloan predicts significant career shifts for Jay, suggesting a move away from music towards a more spiritually aligned vocation within the next eight years.

[120:04] Sloan Bella: "Within the next eight years, he’s in another career. The music thing is not where he’s staying."

These astrological insights not only showcase Sloan's expertise but also serve as a tool for listeners to understand their own lives and relationships better.

6. Current Projects and Future Plans

As the episode progresses, Sloan discusses her current endeavors, including her newly published astrology book, Beginner Astrology. She outlines her plans to launch courses and a "grief project" aimed at assisting individuals who have lost children, emphasizing the therapeutic aspects of shared mourning and remembrance.

[152:07] Sloan Bella: "I'll be doing the courses with that, and I have to film those videos when I get back."

Sloan also addresses the challenges of managing her psychic readings amidst online fraud attempts, highlighting her commitment to providing genuine spiritual guidance without succumbing to external pressures.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange between Bonnie and Sloan, celebrating their newfound friendship and mutual understanding. They reflect on the shared struggles and triumphs that come with embracing one's true self and spiritual path.

[158:55] Sloan Bella: "Thank you for having me."

[158:59] Bonnie: "We might have to do part one and two. Oh, my goodness."

Notable Quotes:

• Sloan Bella at [05:10]: "Looking back on it, she may have actually had a few screws missing."
• Sloan Bella at [14:30]: "I was a trance channel, meaning I would step out of my body to connect with people who have passed on."
• Sloan Bella at [65:12]: "Our dads worked together... we have similar backgrounds. It’s karmic."
• Sloan Bella at [120:04]: "Within the next eight years, he’s in another career. The music thing is not where he’s staying."
• Sloan Bella at [152:07]: "I'll be doing the courses with that, and I have to film those videos when I get back."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Dumb Blonde serves as a powerful testament to the human spirit's capacity to heal and transform through adversity. Sloan Bella's candid storytelling and spiritual insights offer listeners both inspiration and practical wisdom, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersections of trauma, spirituality, and personal growth.

Transcript

[Bonnie]

Hey, guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why and the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Fords. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget. And everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumblonpodcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats. Live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every frickin month. I'm talking, like, signed stuff from Jay and I lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get. It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life. My writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Got to go. Bye. Is this thing on?

[Sloan Bella]

Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker and now hosts the podcast Dumb Blonde.

[Bonnie]

Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers, and. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of money, and be a rock star's. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today we have our mystical mother here, Sloan. Bella, I know you've been called a lot of things, but you are our mystical mother. I love that to you.

[Sloan Bella]

I love that. I'm so excited to be here. It's so exciting, dude.

[Bonnie]

So I walked in. Sloan has this package that she literally wrapped to the gods for me. And we got it open, and it was the most beautiful Obsidian ball. It looks like my own personal eight ball. Like, it is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten, along with tons of other crystals and stuff like that. Like, it was.

[Sloan Bella]

It was for the new studio, I know, to raise the vibes and have it go really well.

[Bonnie]

I appreciate it so much.

[Sloan Bella]

It was such a pleasure bringing it because it came off my set to your set.

[Bonnie]

Oh, I love that.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It came from my home to your home, literally. It was one that I used that was out every day, so I wanted to bring it to you. Yay.

[Bonnie]

When I find the perfect place for it in the studio, I will video it. I'll make a video and I'll tag you in it. So awesome where it's at. Awesome.

[Sloan Bella]

Awesome.

[Bonnie]

Sloan, I'm really stoked to have you here. Like I have. I've been nervous, not going to lie. Cuz there's some things I want to ask you about. You know, Jay and I and like just life that I. I don't know if I want the answer to, but it's like you are the most honest trying to be person I've seen on the Internet who just keeps it 100. I dabble in all things, like I guess you could say a cult. And I'm obsessed with death and like I love just everything mystical.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

And when you came across my radar, I was like, who is this woman? And then the more that I studied your story and got to know who you were as a human, I was like, this is my long lost sister.

[Sloan Bella]

We probably are to some degree. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

It's crazy.

[Sloan Bella]

It's so interesting. Yeah. Because we both left home at 14. Just decided to up and go. I think you were in a warmer climate. I was not.

[Bonnie]

I was here in Vegas.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh yeah. No, I was in Toronto. So it was more of a stupid decision, you know, to run away with just the clothes you're wearing. Because it was pretty cold.

[Bonnie]

Freezing.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it was October. It was our. It was our Halloween Thanksgiving in Canada. So I remember. What do you remember the day you decided to run away?

[Bonnie]

Absolutely. Like I can visualize it and everything.

[Sloan Bella]

Exactly what I do, I did. I took a purse, I took my Marilyn Monroe book and out the door I went.

[Bonnie]

I took a trash bag of clothes.

[Sloan Bella]

Did you had a trash bag?

[Bonnie]

Yeah. And to this day, I pack up everything in trash bags. It doesn't matter how much money I have. I will literally throw all of my clothes from my closet in trash bags and just. That's how I move clothes.

[Sloan Bella]

See? Yeah. That's probably the best way to do it. Till you hang up. Yeah, you can hang them up, I mean. Because they're gonna get wrecked anyways. I don't know.

[Bonnie]

I've never understood people who fold their clothes and put them in boxes, like put them in a bag, dump it.

[Sloan Bella]

Out and Sort it out and throw it out and give it away. Yeah, absolutely. So I kind of feel like we do know each other in the sense we went kind of in two different directions. Both sex work, but a little bit different. Well, let's.

[Bonnie]

Let's circle back. Let's start from the beginning, because I want my, you know, followers who don't know your story to really get to know you, where you came from and how you came to be this just mystical mother.

[Sloan Bella]

I love that you call me that.

[Bonnie]

You are. You're my. You're just like. I like. I look up to everything you do. I think it's amazing.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, that's awesome. Because my greatest gift was being a mother, so that was the thing I was here to do.

[Bonnie]

I love that.

[Sloan Bella]

That's what I feel. Yeah. And looking back on my life, there was one thing, and it was that.

[Bonnie]

Let's talk about your childhood and where this all started and all that.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. So it's kind of interesting because I was adopted, so you never really give much thought as to what happens because you don't remember. You're like a newborn. My.

[Bonnie]

You're okay. So your mother. Go ahead.

[Sloan Bella]

My mom had me and gave me up after she gave birth to me, and I went into the FO. I was in foster care for 10 months, so people I don't know were watching me. And it's. It's interesting because it didn't occur to me that that would be trauma until my son just had our second granddaughter. And I'm watching her, and she's not even the age I was when I was adopted. And I see all the love that went into her, and then I'm like, I have no memory. No pictures, no memory, none of that. I mean, you don't really remember, but I can see with my granddaughter how loved she is. So it. It occurred to me this week at her, because she's nine and a half months, that she's so cute. Looking at her, that did I recall, like, what happened in that time frame.

[Bonnie]

They say trauma starts at the moment of conception.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, they do. There's a book. I'll tell you. I'll. I'll give you the name of it.

[Sloan Bella]

I believe it. Yeah. I believe it. And I know. I know people say, because my parents adopted me at 10 months, and my adopted mother, who was a nightmare, for people who know, she was very well educated, businesswoman, overpowering and crazy. Okay. Looking back on it, I think she may have actually had a few screws missing, but it Was difficult. She told me something, and she said she kept coming to the orphanage, or she called it that. So whatever. The place that housed the baby housing place. And she was looking for a child. She was at 40 looking for a child, and she said I was the only one. She came back three times, and I was the only one that called out to her. So that's karma right there. Next life. I'm not doing that.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

Very clearly will not. Not doing it.

[Bonnie]

Do you believe that you signed up for that, though? Like you came here for that lesson? Or would you think it was?

[Sloan Bella]

I. You know, I know people like to say that in the past few years, I've changed my mind. I believe I was kidnapped here, actually. Like, I'm being dead serious. I think I was hijacked here. Or maybe people change after they make the agreement, and then we're stuck in that until we're not. But I did walk away from it. I do know when you're adopted, you don't hold attachment to a lot because they. They. My family would say, you know, we chose you this and that, which technically, yes. And I think that led me right into stripping, honestly. Because it's like, pick me. You know? Yeah, pick me. And so I never correlated it, but I actually believe that now. And I found it extremely difficult. They were very educated people and well schooled and very proper. And I'm sorry, I'm laughing at that because I'm so not proper.

[Bonnie]

We all have to laugh at our trauma.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I didn't know. I really laugh at that. I was absolutely not proper. My mom was British. And, you know, you had to sit down and wait for dinner to be served and clean the table. It. It's good etiquette. But they were so like, you need to marry a man and be a secretary. And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm sorry. No.

[Bonnie]

Even at a young age, you knew that that's not what you wanted.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no. Absolutely not. It. When I was a little kid, I used to tell my mom, I'm gonna go to California. I don't know why I had that in my head. And my husband's there, and, you know, and he was. And he. Well, yeah, anyway, he was also Canadian, so it was really interesting. That, too, is karma. So the childhood stuff was good. I had the usual. I went to private boarding school. The usual for the British. Okay, I'll say it that way. In Canada, boarding schools, I would get expelled. You know, I was naughty. Expelled. Expelled. Then I went to private school. Expelled. You know, that kind of thing. And I would never stay in school. I wouldn't stay put because I couldn't grasp what they were saying, I guess, if that makes sense. It was dumb to me. And I was no good at math, but I was good at English. So I would stay for English and art and then gym and leave. Or what we call physical education and then leave and get in trouble constantly. And when I was really little, like first and second grade. You'll love this one. I know you'll appreciate this. Did you ever get yelled at in school for talking too much?

[Bonnie]

I. I'm smiling because I got expelled from school.

[Sloan Bella]

There you go.

[Bonnie]

I had to sit at the table and have. Wait till dinner got served. Had to clean up the table.

[Sloan Bella]

All that nonsense.

[Bonnie]

Literally, like I was.

[Sloan Bella]

Nonsense.

[Bonnie]

No, it's crazy. That's why I'm smiling, because I'm just like. I got kicked out of every school I went to. I was called to. I got expelled from school in kindergarten for ripping a boy's shirt off of him because he was talking shit about my dad.

[Sloan Bella]

There you go. He deserved it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. No, for sure. But just listening to you talk, I'm just like, oh, my gosh.

[Sloan Bella]

It was the same. It was the same. And what I found even more interesting, which is a psychic trait. So I was in school and I was. No. My aptitude for math was ridiculous. And it didn't have any. And et cetera, either. But yeah, I mean, I can count money. Yes.

[Bonnie]

I can make money.

[Sloan Bella]

That's all that matters. I'm like, who cares?

[Bonnie]

Who the fuck is doing algebra now in our 40s?

[Sloan Bella]

Nobody exactly said. No one ever. I used to argue that and get yelled at for that too. But I love you. I say, what am I going to do? Actually, in astrology, you do kind of need algebra, but now computers do it all.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So I don't. But I did. I got humbled by that at one point when I was learning how to do a chart. But I was in a special class for. They now have, like, learning disabled classes. But I was dyslexic and add and a whole host of God knows what. Hyper. Hyper person. Right. And so I went to a special morning class. I don't know what to call it. I would use a derogatory term, but I won't. Kids in my class could not see, they could not hear. And I could do all of those things. But I was kind of raised through grade school in that class. So it really undermined my confidence. I didn't think I was that smart because I was over here and the other kids were there, but I was able to read braille to little kids. That's what they had me in there for. So I was like, okay. Like littler kids that were behind. They didn't have the. The school system that we have that our kids would have now.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So I felt not very smart, but I didn't care because I just wanted to be pretty because I had a mother that would say, you know, you look, insert insanity here. So it was very competitive with her, kind of. And she was, looking back on it, she might have been like a closet alcoholic, I'm thinking, And it was so detrimental. But she did teach me good things because she was a good businesswoman. She was a strong, focused businesswoman and went through three separate careers late into her life. So that part was good. I knew that a woman could do that. She's super strong. So I like that. I took that part of it. And my dad was the smartest man I knew. Super smart, educated, so smart, could converse on anything alcoholic and crazy. And so I kind of grew up in a house. And I'm sure your other guests have said it, but I call it covert sexual abuse, because I didn't know the name for it, but they took like the bathroom doors off, so I had to shower in front, you know, so look at the life and then move into stripping, you see, so it's kind of a. A way.

[Bonnie]

My parents took the doors off the hinges too, but not the bathroom, but to my bedroom. And they nailed my window shut and.

[Sloan Bella]

Put bells on the door like you're a bear. Literally.

[Bonnie]

I mean, here comes this rebellious ass kid.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, yeah, that.

[Bonnie]

But just even having your privacy compromised at such a young age, you learn, one, not to trust people.

[Sloan Bella]

Nobody.

[Bonnie]

And two, to literally skate on thin ice and watch like you're. You become like. It's like if somebody moves a certain way, you can read it. Like, you can read.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, yeah, no, I. I'm triggered by certain people. Like, I'm always. Not so much now because I don't care, actually. Going through men, I don't care. Like, I'm like, do what you gotta do. I don't care. When I was younger, I was more nervous almost to the point of, like, not trying things, you know, hiding and staying hidden. I also think it's a psychic thing because the school I was telling you about with the weirdo classes. Sorry, kids, the weird classes was. It was because I was perceptually not picking up what other people did, but I'm psychic.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So they tried to correct that out of me, I think.

[Bonnie]

Did they? Okay, so we're winding back when you had an encounter with your dad where you asked him, where do we go when we die?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I asked him. Yeah, I said, what happens when we die? I was. I distinctly remember four turning five. And he said, you just. You rot in the ground.

[Bonnie]

I hate when people say that.

[Sloan Bella]

I think he was drunk at the time because. Yeah. Who says that to a 4 year old? I was so traumatized. I ran up to my bedroom, hid under the covers, and I was like, what happened? So then I'm. Then me, personally, I'm thinking, well, then I should just die now, because who cares? That's where I go. I'm like, if I'm gonna get there anyway, then. So it made me a little bit, like, suicidal. A little bit.

[Bonnie]

Oh my gosh. At 4 or 5.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Like, I thought, why would I be here? Like, what is the point if that's it and we just rot? I don't even want to play this game. Like, I remember thinking that, so think.

[Bonnie]

So deeply like that too, at such a young age. As was wild.

[Sloan Bella]

It's. Yeah, it's. It was obsessive. Well, I'm OCD too, so it was obsessive thought rumination. But it. The. The next thing that happened is my dad's mom came to me, but I didn't know who she was. She's just a lady that appeared in my head.

[Bonnie]

Was this the first time you had ever had a vision or had you been having them before you asked him what happens when we die?

[Sloan Bella]

I had been seeing aliens. I call them aliens, but I called them earwig men actually growing up because they look like big, tall nomadic Bedouin with the. The tarps on them. But they had like. You know what an earwig bug is?

[Bonnie]

Kind of.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it has the pinchers.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes, they.

[Bonnie]

And the legs.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, the legs and the pinchers. And they stand. So these beings look like that in the face, but covered in like, robes. And there would be around my bed every night. So I was already waking him up with those stories.

[Bonnie]

And he just thought you were just being a kid.

[Sloan Bella]

I went scared of that? No, he thought they thought I was crazy because I was adopted. They can then use adoption against you because you're not theirs, you see, so it's like you're crazy. So then the visits to the shrink happened, and I'm like, I can't help it. I'm. See, you know, I never denied it. I never tried to change it. I just said, no, they're earwig men. At first they looked for bugs and they weren't bugs. I said, no, these are men. And I always say I thought they hid under the bed. They didn't. In the closet. I didn't know where they came from. They were around there. So when my. I technically grandmother adopted, but I didn't know her, she died years before I was even born. When she appeared, I woke my dad up. Like I snuck down the hall, tap, tap, tap. He slept closest to the door, so that's why I could get to him. And I told him there was a God. That was what I said to him. He got so mad.

[Bonnie]

I want a little psychic baby.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I would love the. Out of a little psychic baby. Out of like, I'd be like, just, oh my God.

[Sloan Bella]

I would love. He got so mad. Like, he was like, get to your room. Wake me up again. And then the spanking started. All of those things, you know, because they wanted me to shut up, basically. He was raised very religiously, I guess, and then as happens, had an issue with it.

[Bonnie]

My biggest problem with religion is how can you be religious but not spiritual?

[Sloan Bella]

You can't. I don't think it's one's man made to me.

[Bonnie]

Right. It's insane to me that people preach all this love and this and that, but they don't practice it.

[Sloan Bella]

No. There. That's man made here. And it's money. It's. It's earthbound.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So if you. You don't have to go to church. You do not have to go to church. I never went to church. No one. Like my dad was off the church by the time I came along. So there was no church. I went with the neighbor kid a couple of times, but that was at her family's request when I stayed over there. But you don't need church. You either know there's a God or you don't.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. I grew up in church and I. You won't catch me in one now.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Because I don't think that the, the people there are just hypocritical for the wrong reasons.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And it's man made and, and it's. It's skewed for them to control the masses. So it's a little bit of a hypnotic for the masses. And God is in you like your creator is with you, period. You don't just end up here and need man to tell you what to do.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

In my opinion.

[Bonnie]

Exactly. And I just feel like Jesus was a Capricorn. He was A hell of a lot cooler than people try to make him sound. He was not black and white.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no, no. He got mad at people. That's what I always say to when people go. People say to me, how can you swear if you're spiritual? How can you do this? How can you do that? And I'm like, Jesus did like, yeah. What are you saying? He wasn't human. He was in human form. He was the son of God walking in a human shell like we are. So I get to cuss you out because you asked me a stupid question.

[Bonnie]

Has Jesus ever appeared to you?

[Sloan Bella]

Not me. No. But I. I do feel the spirit in me and I can feel. Feel it around me. But no, I have not had that happen. I would love that to happen.

[Bonnie]

That would be amazing, right?

[Sloan Bella]

Wouldn't it? Yeah, I have. I have not had that happen. I have had. I have had visions, though, of when I'm talking to people who. Who have illness, terminal illness. Like, they could be my friends, and actually they were my friends, and I know they're getting ready to pass. And this one friend in particular was very Catholic girl. I saw, like, the Virgin Mary come around her weeks before she died. That's how I knew she was going to die. Like, I saw what she prayed to coming around her. So I was like, okay, she will pass soon. I didn't tell her at that time, but I just knew it. And she passed on Palm Sunday, which was really interesting. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

We're going to dive into some death talk later on because I have been listening to how you have, like, predicted a few people's deaths. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm just going to have a sit down with Sloan and we're going to talk about death.

[Sloan Bella]

I don't pick that up around you, by the way. Thank God. All right.

[Bonnie]

Right. Thank you. But so circling back to, you know, you're this four year old girl, you're being told that what you're saying is wrong. You're being sent to shrinks, you're being spanked because of these visions you're having. Take me on the. This journey. And how are you feeling? Like, are you still just like, no, I'm right, or are you just, like, giving into, like, thinking maybe there is something wrong with you?

[Sloan Bella]

I always felt like I didn't belong with them, but I don't know that I felt right or wrong about it. I just knew.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So I didn't even attach, like, a judgment to it. I was like, I just feel. I kind of just feel like they can say what they want and I can say what I. I didn't argue except with my dad, like, you know, it. This went on from four to 10. So it went on, like six years. And at the end of it, if I even opened my mouth, he would come flying at me across, you know, he would just like, be like, that's it. And come. He couldn't tolerate it.

[Bonnie]

I wonder if you were triggering something, a fear in him.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Maybe you were sent there to. For him.

[Sloan Bella]

I. I think so. Because after he passed, which my son hates when I tell this story, because he's like, I don't remember. And I'm like. Because he was a very psychic child, my Jason. But when my dad died, okay, in 2006, at the age 80, something, whatever, older, and he passed, he came to my son. I did not get the phone call because they're in Toronto and we're here. So they were waiting for us to be awake after Christmas. And my son told me before I got the call, he came downstairs and he said, you know that grandpa. They only met him once. And he goes, you know that grandpa with the dogs, it was poodles. And I said, yeah. And he goes, he's in my room. And he said, there is a God. So he came through my son, which was tremendous for me and a nice acknowledgment.

[Bonnie]

Confirmation.

[Sloan Bella]

Confirmation, yeah. Because when they cross out of the physical, we do go to different levels. So according to your belief system, like, if you really want to go somewhere that isn't with God, you can go there. I mean, you're never stuck anywhere. You can kind of transition through different levels as you choose. It's your belief system. And he obviously, he crossed over to a dimension. I don't believe we go to heavens. A lot of the religions say you're here and then in heaven.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

That's not my understanding of it at all. So we go through different levels. Kind of like school, but I don't want to say school, but different dimensions.

[Bonnie]

Do you feel. Do you get to pick them? Or is it just how you've lived your life that lifetime and how you gave back and what you did that.

[Sloan Bella]

I think the level that you get to go to next, I. I'm not sure. You know, I can't really answer that, because when my son passed, I noticed the work that he was doing was work. He is working on the other side, and I had never seen that. But he shows up in a position of helping from the other side. So he went right into kind of helping people, which was an interesting concept because some people I see that are in school, other people are just having fun. Some people are watching their families. Like, when my dad passed, he was around me for 15 years. Like, I could pick him up like that, you know, he was.

[Bonnie]

He's like, I'm here to help you because I put you through so much.

[Sloan Bella]

He was watching. He was actually watching, like, what I was doing. I felt. I felt. And then suddenly the energy was gone. So they will transition. And when they either. And again, time is much different. Time is meant to keep us stuck here. We are kind of. I feel. I don't know that we all choose to come here. I have to say that I really don't believe that.

[Bonnie]

I would love to hear your theory on that, because I always feel like I have always. But I don't know enough. And I'm always open to learning.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I have always felt like I. Maybe it's my way of coping with my trauma, but I always feel like I picked my parents and I needed to learn these lessons in this life, and that's what has made me the woman that I am today.

[Sloan Bella]

Absolutely. I agree with that part of it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

When I look at that, though, they tell us that. And I don't know that I hear that sometimes. I do hear souls are sent here to heal and to teach. I don't think that I'm one of those, because I just refuse to say I came here.

[Bonnie]

Like, she's like, I am not of this world.

[Sloan Bella]

I am not. I did not. And. But I do know they do. There are healers and teachers that come down as people to maneuver around people. Right.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

But I feel. I know that kids can leave before the age of four if they don't want to continue on this incarnation. So we have from birth to four. And if you really don't want to be here, I know the soul can le easily. Obviously, they're kids, right. They could do anything.

[Bonnie]

I feel like children are so much more in tune with the other side also.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, they are. They live more on the other side. They see they. They have a whole thing. And then we're taught it's not real. Because if you knew it was real, you'd be like, why am I here?

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

You'd be like, why am I here?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And as you get older, more of your people are over there than here. You know, I mean, like, when you get into your 70s, most of your friends or parents and siblings have crossed. So I actually believe some of us are. I believe the Reincarnation cycle was hijacked, to tell you the truth. So I believe some of us were forced into coming back here because when we crossed out, we went where we thought, but I think they kind of steered us down the wrong path.

[Bonnie]

Like a kind of spiritual warfare.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes, absolutely. I am not convinced. We're all supposed to be here. And a lot of new age. I know you hear it all the time. It drives me crazy. Yeah, they say you can co create. I'm like, tell the people in Ethiopia that they can create whatever life they want because they cannot because the whole country is gridded and the energy is blocked and stolen. So they cannot. Neither can Haiti, Neither can wherever, you know? Yeah, they can't. So stop saying that. Is it what, only first world countries that we can do it?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So see, that's profiteering off of spiritual. So they haven't had enough. I. I don't know. People just think it's nice to believe in. I think it depends on the person. And I think sometimes we jump into something. I'll tell you, I had a experience once with somebody who passed away unexpectedly and of an overdose and their sibling. When I saw the sibling pregnant, I knew it was their. I knew it was that person coming back because I dreamt it, right? And I thought, oh, my goodness. And all the way along in the pregnancy, I was like, they were deciding whether they were going to come back in because they wanted to complete the connection but had OD'd. So they left early and then tried to come back in, but chose not to be born. So that was a stillbirth. And I saw the whole thing. I saw the soul making that decision, like, you know, in the way of this person as a person. Like, wow. I saw it and I knew it was gonna happen. I did not tell the person, but when it happened, I was like, yeah, I thought that was going to happen. So it's interesting. That soul made a decision first to come in and be pregnant, maybe to clear the karma with the sibling, you see, and just live in the tummy and then leave. So I'm not quite sure how it works really.

[Bonnie]

That's wild. That's really crazy. I definitely want to look into that more. So circling back to your childhood.

[Sloan Bella]

She keeps trying to go there.

[Bonnie]

No, I know. I'm like, let's get it. So certainly back to your childhood. You're growing up in this house. Take me on this journey. Like, are you still seeing visions? Do you as a child, do you start talking to them? Do you?

[Sloan Bella]

The way that it works for me is I'm very Claire audience. So I hear things and then I just blurt them out. Okay, so that was annoying again. Hello, Blah, annoying child.

[Bonnie]

So it's kind of like you had to learn how to wrangle it.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you. And you have to learn to know what it is because you can say something and think it's going to be. It's a combination of feeling your body and wording. And the wording can come from outside of you, but it comes from inside of you. Like, just say this. So when I say it, I get a feel for whether it's my crazy mind or if it's psychic. I also dream things, but not as much anymore. And I used to be what's called. I think they call it a trance channel, meaning I would. In order to connect with people that have passed on, I would step out of my body. So my physical would go to sleep and they would. They say it means they come into your body. But I was not coherent. Like many a friend when I was a teenager say, you know, you just dropped off for 10 minutes there.

[Bonnie]

Wow.

[Sloan Bella]

Like, I wasn't on drugs, right. Contrary to what my family thinks. But I would step out and I was able to connect through that. And it has to do with the frequency of the body because it's very hard for them to connect with us and we have to heighten our energy to get out. So to actually do readings awake and like. Like this, to talk to people, it's kind of athletic with energy. You have to raise your vibration up. So you kind of have to know how to do that or you get drained because your energy goes and then drops.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So when I was a teenager, I would just. I call it stepping out. I would actually. This would shut down like this and I'd step out and I would see them. And that first happened when my best friend passed on a motorcycle. So I was like 16, turning 17, and he was 18, and I did not know he'd passed until I fell asleep for 10 minutes and saw him.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

And so my boyfriend at the time said, you just were like acting like you were hugging somebody and but you're. You weren't awake. So. And then I woke up and said, oh, my God. And then had to track him down and find out what happened. He came very, very clearly to me. So, yeah, so I. I physically was somewhere else or on the. It's the astral level, actually. It's out of your body and it's right here.

[Bonnie]

Is it ever a scary feeling to Be out of your body or does it always feel peaceful?

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, it doesn't feel peaceful. No.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no, no. I mean, I don't know about then, because I can't remember.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

I had a lot of anxiety, but when I'm out of my body, I kind of. I call it like an airplane grounding back in. And sometimes it's very bumpy, you jolt in, and other times it's smoother, but I call it grounding in like an airplane.

[Bonnie]

Do you ever get scared that, like, your soul will get snatched while you're out of your body? How do you protect yourself?

[Sloan Bella]

I don't know.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. No, I mean, I'm like, fascinating.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. They tell you.

[Bonnie]

Teach me.

[Sloan Bella]

They tell you how to protect yourself. I actually pray to God, so I ask in the name of Jesus to protect me.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I wear crystals. Like, I have. All my jewelry is kind of crystal to align it so that they can't get into my head, you know, I kind of feel like I. I pray. I go in nature. That's the quickest way I find. So I find grass and trees and usually a dirt trail, and I start walking up it. I try to eat. Right. I don't get high or drunk, because that will. Because you won't even care.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So I don't do those. But I don't know that you can protect yourself if it's going to happen to you.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

I don't know that you can. I'm not sure.

[Bonnie]

I have always, ever since I was a little girl and I've said this on multiple podcasts, seen spirits, and I'm dreams. I've had people who have crossed over that have come to me that I. I didn't even know they had crossed.

[Sloan Bella]

So why do you fight it?

[Bonnie]

I just. It's not that I fight it because I've actually made peace with it now, so it doesn't bother me as much. But I don't know if I. I never want to steer anybody the wrong way, and I don't know if I am the right vessel for, like, anything other than myself.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay, so that's perfect for now. That's perfect. Exactly. Okay, so first of all, when you read energy, you are just giving information, like your phone. Your phone. The phone doesn't judge me or you. If I'm calling you and I scream at you, the phone is not like, oh, I shouldn't have dialed her number. The phone does not know. So we are a wire. That's it. So if you have something to say to somebody, say it to Them.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And just say, I'm giving you this. Do what you want with it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Because you hold. I. I don't care about being right or if. I mean, people can call me crazy. I had one woman insist I was wrong. I'm like, fine. I. I do not care. You. That's fine. But I give the information if I get it, and I don't judge it anymore. When I was younger, I might have talked around it because I'm like, who says some of this stuff?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

But. Yeah. No, you. If you get it, give it. Because they're coming to you, because you can hear them.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So it's like driving to Vegas. You know how dark that road is at night, and if you see a light and your car breaks down, you're gonna go that house. Now, what if they don't help you?

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So they. They want you to go there. That's why they're coming to you. They want you to do it. And it's part. It is part of what I think you're here to do if you can do it. So whether you like it or not, like, none of us grow up and do. I. I did not. I've tried to get out of this. I don't. It's not. No.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. You're like. Do you feel like it's. It's almost like a. I don't want to say prison sentence, because that sounds terrible, but it's almost, like, exhausting.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It. It hugs the living out of me, and people yell at me. You know how they get at you online?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Like a bunch of. Anyway, no offense to trolls. Troll ass, but welcome to.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, that's what they are.

[Sloan Bella]

But they say, oh, how do you. How come you get mad when people, you know, ask you for a reading? I'm like, I had people in my house from the age of 20 up until Covid.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Like, my entire life has been just reading. Yeah. And they came to me physically, like. Like, they come to your studio. They came and sat down. My kids grew up. I mean, decades. Four decades. Like, stop.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You know, and I'm. I mean, I'm trying to talk on a live show about something, let's say. And they're like, do. Do a reading. I'm like, it. No.

[Bonnie]

Go away. Yeah. You're like, that's the last thing I want to do. Just let me do my thing.

[Sloan Bella]

It's like if you're a hairdresser and you go to eat lunch, and then somebody's like, could you just cut my. Shut the. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

You're like, leave it alone. Yeah, I totally.

[Sloan Bella]

So it's like that. And other times, I don't want to see things, so there's certain things I don't want to see. And that, again, comes. And it comes with the death of my son. And when my stepson passed, I saw both of those things. And people mistake it. They say, you're not supposed to speak about something like that, but I actually saw it. And here's what I learned from telling both stepson and son that they were going to pass. I didn't know which one of my sons, so I told both of my sons to hope that one of them listened. But here's what I learned. A soul is going to do what they're going to do anyway. And you can tell them, is that going to stop them? Now, that comes into. We have no control over our lives. So there's exit points in life. And I do know that we have three or four. Like my son Keith, he had several different exit points. What was so interesting. And this comes to your reading point. About 15 years before he passed, I went to an astrologer friend of mine to ask business stuff for my husband, actually. And he was looking at my chart, and my husband's like, he kind of will look at them together, and he says. He says a bunch of stuff, and he's like, you're gonna have a child that dies. And I said, right out of his mouth, like, almost the way I do it. And I said, oh, no, you mean my stepson. So he said, no, one of yours. Now, I never forgot it. I told John, my husband at the time, I told him this. And the minute our son passed, this astrologer's name came right out of our mouths. Like, we were like, damn. But I started to get the information about two months before. So it happens for me like that. And I blurted out, like, he blurted it out. He was that kind of a psychic. Like, it. It happened to me. So never ask somebody something you don't want an answer for, because you may get an answer you don't. I was not expecting that. I asked about business, and his psychic side took right over. Even though he was an astrologer, you see, he immediately, blah, wow. And it was horrifying. And then when my kids turned 18, I was like, they're 18, I'm good. You know, when they're 18, you think you're good. Yeah, not so much. It. It can happen. And I also remember my husband saying, God wouldn't do that to me again, because it was his stepson who passed, who was nine months younger than me. So my husband had two grown kids when I met him. So my stepson and stepdaughter are. I'm right in the middle of them. And I was good friends with my stepson and I told my husband now, I said, it's not God who does that. We're not living on God's planet down here. That is not who is here. And souls have their own journey and path. So they will leave when they want, regardless of what we're told in society.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

You know, it. It. It has nothing to do with that. So even if there is a murder, you know, something along those lines, I don't know why that is happening. Because if I can't remember killing you and you kill me, I'm just going to come back and kill you again. Hello. I'm coming after you again. See, And I will never stop it. So right as a soul, I'm coming back after your ass.

[Bonnie]

Sloan's like, I got a vendetta. I'm coming back.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm living as a Scorpio now. Yeah, I'm coming after you. You. So I don't know that we even understand karma except to say that it is balance. It is not vengeance. So people often say. You know, this one hit me. It's karma. I'm going to do this to them. No, it's balance. So maybe I need to learn balance. Maybe. Last life, I didn't want children. And so this life, my son came to me who I wanted desperately. And then he left. So maybe now I know that I'm balanced in that feeling.

[Bonnie]

Do you believe in past life regressions?

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, 100. Oh, 100. Yeah. I've seen past lives. Yeah?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, I've seen them. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I always think I was like some regal queen, but then I also think I was like some bad warrior.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you probably. Yeah. Throughout generations, you know. Yeah. Well, you have class. And now. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

It took a lot long time to find it.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, no, you would, but you would be different. Your soul would be the same. So you would be in positions of power throughout your life to elevate other people, which is what you're doing here. You use a play on words calling it dumb blonde because this stupid society thinks you're dumb. Hello. Not dumb. Yeah, you know, like anything but. And so you using the play to educate people. It's in your face. Smack. Deal.

[Bonnie]

Oh, yeah. No, I'm very tongue in cheek with everything I do. I'm going to say it before you.

[Sloan Bella]

Can yeah, you know, that's. Oh, my God. Yeah, I will out myself on everything. So you can't get. You can't get me. You can't blackmail me. You. Oh, nothing over me.

[Bonnie]

You said something in a podcast that I watched last night on the plane. You said, be real, say what you want, and get it out before anybody can ever have anything on you. And I was just like that. That's how I've lived my life.

[Sloan Bella]

Absolutely.

[Bonnie]

I love that you preach that to everybody.

[Sloan Bella]

I. I do. It was hard. Now my husband is going to hate me for saying this. Technically ex husband, but we all know John, so we're gonna shout him out.

[Bonnie]

Shout out John.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. There you go, my man. Anyway, I met him in a strip club. Okay.

[Bonnie]

So, yeah, we're going back to your childhood.

[Sloan Bella]

I met him there and he did not want me saying that out loud. Now I'm like, stripper, stripper, stripper. And so, yeah, it was funny because people carry their own shame about stuff. And I'm like, whatever people's preconceived notions are, it's. They're gonna have. You know that from the Internet they call. Absolutely. She's an alien with. With, you know, a horn on the back of her head. What?

[Bonnie]

You know, they make up the wildish. I fight them all the time. I'm like, you, you and you. Yeah, like, I shut it down all the time.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it's. You know, I'll tell you something. I have a good message. My. My son Keith, that passed when we started my channel. I got so mad at this woman. She was trolling me. I'm like, I. I'm gonna cross search her name.

[Bonnie]

I'm gonna find you or me. I swear. I'm gonna find your grandma, I'm gonna find your aunts, uncles, your whole bloodline.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm find your car, I'm gonna flatten your tires. I'm gonna you up. So my son Keith, he's sitting there and he was so. He's a score. He was a Scorpio moon. Sagittarius Scorpio moon. And he's sitting there and he's like.

[Bonnie]

Oh, wow, that's emotional. Sagittarius sign. Scorpio moon.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And a Leo rising. So he also had swagger and he was very cute. And he said to me, mom, do you think Kobe worries about trolls? I'll never forget it. And I'm like, I don't know. I want this woman's number because I can't see straight because I'm so immature.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And he's like, no. Kobe laughs all the way to the bank. Now stop looking for this woman and go film some more. So I always remember what he said. What would Kobe do? So that's. Yeah. So that's what I say. But he had to teach me that. And he. It was in 2018, so I was like, okay, I'll listen to you.

[Bonnie]

We love Keith.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. He was so cute.

[Bonnie]

And my husband's a Sagittarius.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

I love Sagittarius.

[Sloan Bella]

I love. I love Sages. Yeah. They're fun. They're fun. And they can be. Oh, my God. They can foot in mouth and say. And you're like, did. Did. Did you just say that?

[Bonnie]

Oh, yeah. Sometimes I have to tell my husband. I'm like, what the. Stop it.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like, what are you doing? But he's so sweet and just. They are very diplomatic.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. They want to have fun.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So they don't want to hurt you and make you upset.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So that you don't have fun. Because they want to continue to have fun.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And they also, like, childlike almost. Yeah. No, Sagittarius is. It's not of the earth. Sagittarius is half man, half horse. So they live on the earth as a different species. They don't feel like us, number one. Okay. People without sag. And so they live down here, and they shoot for what's unknown. So they're always contemplating it. That is what they do. Their whole thing is about the contemplation of why are we here.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So even if they're the goofiest, stupidest.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Childish, you know, Weed smoking, speaking about my Keith at the time, whatever they're doing.

[Bonnie]

Sounds like my husband.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. They're still deeply soulful and thoughtful about where we are and why we are here.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. Oh, he's so. My husband's so deep. Sometimes I'm like, calm down, dude. I have to, like, bring him out of it, you know, Calm down.

[Sloan Bella]

Like your room. Let's.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. It's not the time right now, so let's circle back. So you left home at 14, and I heard you say that when you left home at 14, it was. Was. It was life changing for you. And you had been through a lot when you left home. Can you take me on that journey when you finally decided to leave home?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It was the greatest thing. I know. It pissed my family off. So I'm sorry.

[Bonnie]

Sorry. Not sorry.

[Sloan Bella]

Sorry. Not sorry. But, yeah, I packed my little bag and I wore, like, pants under my pants, so baggy pants over my Skinny pants and sweatshirts because it was freezing. It was October in Toronto, actually up north. And I went to school, and my friend's sister drove me to the mall, to the bus station. And then I just. On a bus and went to Toronto, where I had been. We had moved up north, and of course, nobody would take me in. You know how that is. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

They're like no wayward child off the street now.

[Sloan Bella]

And. Absolutely not. So I ended up in the flop houses. And you're going to love this. Maybe not, but the. They called them flop houses. Somebody corrected me and said they call them something else now. But where all the drug people go. And I'm not going to lie, I liked lsd. Go ahead. You know. Yeah, I love that drug. But I ended up in houses with, like, I'll say the needle people, the people that use needles. And I was so OCD that I couldn't stand it when they would. I did not do that. But when they would shoot up, they'd just leave the needles in the cigarette ashtrays on the floor. So I, like the good OCD girl, would pick everything up and wash them. And I. That. We didn't know about AIDS exactly yet at that time, but it was that year that it was.

[Bonnie]

Was.

[Sloan Bella]

It was like an 81. It broke, and I was already doing that, but I couldn't stand that they were going to put it back in their arm from the ashtray. That drove me nuts.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Like, even I was like, no. And I looked in the paper for a job. So I was always looking in the paper. And there was this club, and it was called the Fillmore's west, not East. And the owner, he was looking for cocktail waitresses. This is before Tracy Lords. Okay. So nobody was checking id. No one cared. Nobody cared. And so I went and met with him, and I had no money to buy a little. He want us in a bathing suit with little heels. I had no money, so he gave me 100 bucks back then. And I could have just bailed, but I didn't. And I went and bought it at Capezio's. You remember that store? It's a dance store. So I went and bought this little shiny gold, shiny little bathing suit and these little shoes. And I went and I started waitressing. And then I met one of the strippers, and she was like, I need a girl. We're going to Fort Erie for the weekend. She goes, you want to do it? I'm like, not really. I don't think so.

[Bonnie]

I'd have been like, how much yeah, yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, then she says. She says. She goes, well, I have some clothes for you. And I'm like, not really. She goes, well, it's whatever she said. And I'm like, okay, I'll go. The most terrifying thing, because with those horseshoe tables back in the day with a whole bunch of people and you're completely naked, like, you've gone on. And I was like, I did not understand what they were looking at. I was that immature. Like, I knew I had a body and I know that people look, but I was like, I don't.

[Bonnie]

How. You were 14.

[Sloan Bella]

14?

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, 14. It was a little bit. Yeah, it was a little bit horrifying.

[Bonnie]

And then when I. Shame on those men, though.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, I don't think they. Well, I mean, I looked young, but. But maybe they thought I was. I don't know what they thought.

[Bonnie]

They know.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, they probably knew I was. And I was terrified. I was traumatized and terrified. My friend was, like, doing all kinds of things up there, and I was like, I'm not making those faces. Like, I'm not gonna go.

[Bonnie]

Were you still a virgin?

[Sloan Bella]

No.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no. Thank God. No. I knew people, but I mean, you're 14. What are you getting out of it? Really?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You know, it takes till you're probably 20 to understand what you should do. Or at least I felt sorry for.

[Bonnie]

Such a personal question. Yeah, I was just trying to see where you were at.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, no, no. I lost my virginity young. I Learned at age 10 that men would pay for that kind of thing. Like, if you take your shorts down, always the stripping, they'll give you money.

[Bonnie]

So how old were you when you lost your virginity?

[Sloan Bella]

12.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, my goodness.

[Bonnie]

That is so young. No, I'm not. That's no judgment. That's coming from a place of love. We have a 16 year old. I would. My heart would break, you know, 12.

[Sloan Bella]

It was a kid my age, so.

[Bonnie]

Okay. Like, okay.

[Sloan Bella]

Like, yeah. Was not an adult. Okay person. Right. Yeah. Young, little boyfriend. So I'm like, okay, I'll try that.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my God.

[Sloan Bella]

And I was like, I don't get it.

[Bonnie]

Wow.

[Sloan Bella]

I was like, no, really? I was like, I don't. It took me years. And then when I had my kids, I was like, I get it. So for me, it was about having my children. Yeah, that was important. The other stuff I could do without.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

It's never been about the sex for me.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You know, after the stripping life, I was like, I hate everybody. Yeah. Don't try to kiss Me.

[Bonnie]

So you said at a young age you learned that men would pay for things. Did you have men paying you?

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, yeah. Neighbor men. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Really?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I would wear little shorts out and stuff, and they'd call you over and, you know, five bucks if you show me what's in your shorts. So I did that. I've got to say, I did it. But I was 10 and I knew better, did I? Did I not?

[Bonnie]

But you're a child. That's not here. That's not your responsibility.

[Sloan Bella]

No, it isn't. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Those men that are just. It was.

[Sloan Bella]

And you'll love this. It was the Girl Scout troops. Father. Who else would it be?

[Bonnie]

I just got goosebumps.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I will kill a dude. Like, I just piss me off.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. No, they're really weird, but our whole society, they are. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Weird isn't putting it nicely.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, I look at it and I'm like, you're married. You have your own kids. Looking back at it now, you know, my abuse as a child came from both. My mother was abusive sexually as well. So when I talk about that, a lot of people are very uncomfortable with it. Even my husband would be like, well, maybe she just didn't know what she was doing. I'm like, come on, what would she do? She would check my crotch when I came in the door. So she would put her hands down my pants and check. Yeah, yeah.

[Bonnie]

And, like, put her fingers in you?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I lived with, that kind of stuff. Yeah. So. And when you tell people, they're like, I know it. Yeah, I know. No, it would. So you run. I mean, I never did that with my kids. I was always not. People don't do.

[Bonnie]

People don't do. I won't even. Bailey. I don't even look at her when she showers at me. No, that was she not. That woman knew what she was doing.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, she knew.

[Bonnie]

She was trying. You know what it was? She was trying to have power over you.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. She would do stuff like cut all my hair off and then tell my dad I did it. No, I didn't.

[Bonnie]

Do you think that's why you have short hair?

[Sloan Bella]

To this day, I wonder, because I've had it long like yours, and then I'll cut it short. Right now I don't want to go through the grow out stage.

[Bonnie]

Oh, no, it's the worst.

[Sloan Bella]

There's that. I don't know how I'm gonna appear on camera.

[Bonnie]

Like, well, luckily, there's like, wigs and extensions and everything.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you could do that when it gets to about here, I may try to grow it out, but I have a little faith.

[Bonnie]

I love your short hair though. Your look is a vibe and I would told you when you came.

[Sloan Bella]

60S vibe. Yeah, 60s, but I love it.

[Bonnie]

It's like very twiggy.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes. Yeah, I like that kind of thing.

[Bonnie]

I love that.

[Sloan Bella]

I think, I mean when my mom cut my hair, it was like I had long hair and she would just cut like, you know, so you look like an insane kid that your brother cut your hair off by accident.

[Bonnie]

She's just jealous of you.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it was.

[Bonnie]

I had a horrendous stepmother too. She didn't do the things to me that yours did, but she beat me. And emotionally, physically, that's the same.

[Sloan Bella]

She probably wanted to do something else and couldn't, you know, take you down that way. Yeah, Horrific. Horrific. Left a huge scar. Yeah, it, it was interesting because that has to be a mental illness though. Like you for sure, you, you just.

[Bonnie]

Can'T be mean to any sort of.

[Sloan Bella]

Child on a continuum.

[Bonnie]

Is wrong with you? Never. No.

[Sloan Bella]

Your face is hilarious.

[Bonnie]

No, I love you.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh my God.

[Bonnie]

No. I'm the same way. When people talk about my trauma, I get like, like really giddy and like nervously laugh. It's just, it's a trauma response.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Oh absolutely.

[Bonnie]

But it's just you cannot be mean to children if they, if you're mean to children, you are a just piece of evil human being.

[Sloan Bella]

You're a weirdo. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Children are the most innocent things on the, on the earth.

[Sloan Bella]

They, they don't have. You don't have any recourse really. As a child. I mean, my kids, my kids had a lot more recourse. Like my Keith, if you, if you told him no, you couldn't go out, he would turn around and say, I'm gonna tell people you did you Michael Jackson me at? And I'd be like, don't laugh his.

[Bonnie]

Ass off, don't do that.

[Sloan Bella]

It was like 10. And I said, what did you just say? And he'd go hahaha. And then, you know, so the kids got more brash as they got older. But for my generation, because keep in mind I'm almost 60, which we know, but which I speak ad nauseam because I can't believe I'm here. It's very humbling to grow old like.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Everything you thought you were when you're young and it wouldn't go away, it's gone. Whatever it is. You look in the mirror and you're like, who is that. No, that different person, you know, just so different. But for me, it was very hard with my mother. And I remember running away at 10, running away at 11, running away at 12. My dad would find me. Obviously I didn't get very far. I mean, who are we kidding? And the other thing that I learned from my childhood was to be a distance runner. So when they would start whatever it was they were talking about in the home, I would leave when I was five, put on sneakers and go out the door. Because back then we all took the subways in Toronto, we all took the buses. It that wasn't abusive. Like, all the little kids went in little groups. And it wasn't like today where you're like, get off the subway.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You'll be kidnapped. Yeah. And we drop our kids everywhere and micromanage. It was not like that. And I wasn't the only kid out, you know, all my friends, you know, and we lived in a good neighborhood in Toronto. Shout out to Lawrence park. And we lived there. But I became a cross country runner to get away from it. So I always had practice and I just have used that to cope my whole life. And it's been the biggest blessing. I would advise people with anxiety and trauma exercise. It is a blessing. Like it comes first in my life, period.

[Bonnie]

I preach that all the time. Whenever I was gone through, whenever I had just gotten out of a severely abusive relationship and I first got with Jay, my body was in fight or flight. I didn't know what was going on at the time. This is right before I started hitting my spiritual journey. And I would wake up out of a dead sleep at 6:00 in the morning, throw my shoes on and go jog. We'd be on tour and I would jog around the hotel that we were in, like anywhere we would go. If I started having a panic attack, I would just go jogging. Like, it really does reset.

[Sloan Bella]

It Saves your life. Yeah, saves your life. Did you ever take the. I took Klonopin for a while. Did you?

[Bonnie]

Oh, I was a Xanax addict. I didn't do Klonopin, but give me a little Zanny Bonaduce and I would be in heaven.

[Sloan Bella]

I did that.

[Bonnie]

I love Xanax.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I was so bad. I was having like 200 panic attacks a day. And I was always in the emergency room and I thought people were poisoning my kids.

[Bonnie]

I always went to the emergency room.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I'd run straight there. Like, they're gonna help you.

[Bonnie]

Me too.

[Sloan Bella]

They lock your ass up.

[Bonnie]

They give You Xanax.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

And colon. I went so much. The doctor told me. He was like. He didn't call me Bunny, but he said Alyssa, because that's my real name. He said, alyssa, you can't keep coming in here. He's like, if you're not going to take the Xanax, do not come back in here.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Because you're not dying, right?

[Bonnie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sloan Bella]

Stop it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I would be. I would be so crazy that I was actually. And it can be spiritual because in the midst of my panic attack, I was. I'm super psychic. Like, I would see any kind of energy around me. Anything good, bad, or ugly.

[Bonnie]

Yes.

[Sloan Bella]

And that would freak me out.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So I would go places and see things. Like, I went to Disneyland with the kids and I would seeing, like, demonic. And this is true. Like, my. I think Keith was like, like three, and we were with Tanner and Jason, their little friend. And I was looking around and I got stuck in one of those cars you drive, and I'm like, oh, my God, I can't. I would see something coming at me, and it's because I was so open.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

That they will utilize that if they're a little bit dark to come in and torture you. I'm convinced of it. I'm convinced of it.

[Bonnie]

You can hear in past podcasts where I. I don't want to keep circling back to me, but it's like the. The similarity is giving me confirmation, though, that I'm not crazy.

[Sloan Bella]

You're not crazy.

[Bonnie]

How many times have I said panic attacks? I would look at people and their faces would look like they're melting.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Changing because you're seeing what you're seeing in the midst of a panic attack.

[Bonnie]

I can see people's eyes changed.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Well, you're seeing. A lot of people have attachments. You're actually seeing that. So call it non human entities attached. I. I don't go as far as to say they're all demonic unless I can tell by the shape I see.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

But people walk around with things on them. That's why addicts can't give their drugs up, because they have attachments on them who like the drugs. People don't get that. Addiction is a frequency, not a mindset. It's not a lifelong thing. I know Dr. Drew will yell at me.

[Bonnie]

No, I love that. It just gave me goosebumps.

[Sloan Bella]

It's not a. It's not a lifelong thing. It's a frequency. Once you shift the frequency, you can remove the addiction. You don't think about It. Because you don't live in it.

[Bonnie]

Wow.

[Sloan Bella]

It's family patterning. You may come from a family that has a habitual habit of living at that frequency, but that's not. It's not like your gene pool is white. No.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I don't believe that. Of course I go against medical science here, but same. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I don't believe. I. I think that everything is. I love Eastern medicine. I don't like anything about Western medicine.

[Sloan Bella]

No. It's very damaging. I had my kids. My husband delivered my kids. I did not go to a hospital. I took no drugs.

[Bonnie]

I was savage.

[Sloan Bella]

It was savage.

[Bonnie]

Childbirth is barbaric.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I haven't had children this lifetime because I am so scared of it. It. Like, it's so barbaric.

[Sloan Bella]

It. It is. But it was interesting.

[Bonnie]

I. I think I might have died during childbirth.

[Sloan Bella]

You could. A lot of people still do, believe it or not. It's pretty intense. It's a pretty intense thing and. But I really enjoyed it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I. Weirdly, I wanted to feel my children.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I spent so much time numb that I actually wanted to feel them.

[Bonnie]

Mimi has two kids.

[Sloan Bella]

She's like, no, don't like that one, do you?

[Bonnie]

Poor Mimi over here is like. I can feel no home burst. I can feel her butt cheeks clenched over here.

[Sloan Bella]

I know. They're like. I remember. I remember saying just before I pushed my first son out, I think I'll go to the mall and look for a pair of shoes.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sloan Bella]

John's like, you're not going anywhere. I'm like, no, really, we can hold this off till later. Like, then I was like, you have. You're into it then. Yeah, that part I was in. Yeah. And both my kids were like £9, so it was baby turkeys. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

Little watermelons.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

Long, 22 inches long. And I was like, it's watermelons. They were it. They were watermelons. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Goodness. We did that. Just. Just Shira over there.

[Sloan Bella]

I. That's my ocd. Once my mind sets to it, I'm not changing. I will change.

[Bonnie]

I get it. It's circling back to. You did this first gig when you were 14.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Did you jump into full time dancing after that?

[Sloan Bella]

Pretty much, yeah. I.

[Bonnie]

14, yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. No one. No one asked for. I mean, I had ID that didn't say I was 14. It said I was 16. Not much better. Right. So, yeah, still. And in Toronto, the clubs, and I went to the Fillmores east at that time, so it was the same owner. But I applied there as a dancer kind of behind his back.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

When he found out I was dancing, he never looked at me or spoke to me again. The owner of that club, like, he literally shut me down. I guess he didn't expect whatever. And I'm like, well, the money is good.

[Bonnie]

Well, I feel like men in that industry are such creeps.

[Sloan Bella]

Misogynistic.

[Bonnie]

Right. So he probably. To you to. You were a waitress, so you were innocent and you were pure.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

And then when you crossed over, you're just like the rest of them.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like in his mind, that's totally. Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I had the greatest time at that club, though. It was. Yeah, it was.

[Bonnie]

I loved dancing.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it was so fun and. But. But I also was shocked. Some of my friends would get pregnant and they would make more money. Pregnant. And that freaked. Yeah, that freaked me out. There was weird that would go on in the booth. This is before. This is before girls had to pay to work in a club. I quit when I was 23 because I'm not going to pay to work in a club. Like, yeah, it's work. Why am I paying you?

[Bonnie]

Like, the house fee?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. So we didn't have that when I did it, but we did tip the DJ at the end of the night because he removed whatever was wrong with your body with lighting, the importance of lighting. So he would do that. But we didn't have to pay the clubs, like, they were looking for girls. There was such a stigma to it. So we got paid quite a bit, which was really good. And I traveled from here and I went to Florida. So I worked Toronto, California, Florida. And it was a shock when I came to LA because the clubs where liquor was served were all. I mean, were. Sorry, all nude was just beer and then full nude was no alcohol. But Toronto, it was like anything goes. Like huge clubs, everybody's drunk and God knows what. And this is where I drew my conclusion that most men are gay because they would come into the clubs and they. They had their young men friends with them, but they had their rings on and there. So I saw so much of that. It really jaded me. Like, I was a jaded bitch after that.

[Bonnie]

Trust me, I'm gonna. My next book that's gonna come out after this book. That's my. My life story. I've already decided. I'm gonna call it Little Black Book. And it's literally gonna be just. Just everything about dancing and escorting and everything.

[Sloan Bella]

See, I didn't quite do the escorting a couple of times, but I could never show up on time.

[Bonnie]

That's why you're an hour early today.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I'm like, for Bunny, I'm showing up. I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm like, I will be there. Well, first of all, the time said central time. So I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, what if I make a mistake? And it's not really central and it's this. So I'm like, I'm checking with. With. I'm calling John. I'm like, is central time. What is it this time? He's like, stop calling me.

[Bonnie]

I'm so sorry. That's a two hour difference.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, no, it's two. I have to look it up, though, because my mind will go off running and then you'll be like, where is she? But it was so fun. No, I'm glad I got here. I'd rather be early. But at that time, I was so like, add that I couldn't commit. I could barely get to a club, you know, Barely get there.

[Bonnie]

All over the place.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. No, I was just very much on the go. Like. Like, I still carry. I still. I traveled like that. I still travel like that. I'm here, there and everywhere. So it was hard. And the dancing was easy because I do one set and at the time in Toronto, we had to go on stage for three songs. Clothes, underwear, nothing. Right. And you could table dance. Do you remember when you had to carry the things on your head?

[Bonnie]

No.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, yeah. Okay. We had like boxes. They did not have. You could dance in the horseshoe, but for people at regular tables, just like this, we had like boxes. So you go the guide by a dance. You go pick a box up and stand there and dance in front of him on the little box in your heels.

[Bonnie]

No, never had to do. I said. But I. Everybody always says that I glamorize being in the. In sex work. And it's not that I glamorize it. I literally grew up.

[Sloan Bella]

You live this. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Where sex work is glamorous.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It's not. It's not. Yes.

[Bonnie]

When I was dancing, it was like the Anna Nicoles, the Pamela Anderson's, the Carmen Electras. Like, it was a very taboo thing. It wasn't like it is now. Dancing was very, like, taboo and you know.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, it was for me too. It was like horror. If. If one more man calls me that, I will come. That is.

[Bonnie]

I get that at least ten times a day.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. That triggers the. Out of me. I laugh because, well, now I'm like, it's Miss Horror to you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

But I will scratch your eyes.

[Bonnie]

I make it into merch. I make money off of.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, yeah, that's smart. See, I gotta learn because I get too emotional. I go right into like. Okay, no, yeah, now.

[Bonnie]

Now all the hate that gets thrown at you, just turn it into. That's what I do.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do now. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Dumb blonde. That's how I started. That's why I say, literally, people talking about me.

[Sloan Bella]

I know, because it's like, really hair color, like. And that's another thing with my mom growing up, she wouldn't get me Barbie. I had to have Skipper.

[Bonnie]

Okay. Something happened to her when she was.

[Sloan Bella]

I could.

[Bonnie]

Somebody made her feel less than thou. And that was what she wanted to project on you. But my thing is, is, like, you go your whole entire life till you're 40 years old, not having a child, and then you go get one and you treat her like this.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it was very. It was very. Yeah. It was difficult because you have nowhere to go. You have no family, because once they cut you off, you're cut off. In the adopted circle. I will say my cousins in the adopted family were always very kind to me. So I have cousins that are. They'd actually be second cousins because my first cousins are older, because my parents were older. But I have a brother that my mom and dad had after they adopted me, but he doesn't talk to me either, so.

[Bonnie]

Oh.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I didn't even call when my son passed, which was interesting.

[Bonnie]

Sounds like he's like her.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I would bet.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Without insulting anybody.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

Publicly.

[Bonnie]

So moving on, you said that you stopped dancing at 23.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

What, had you already met John at that.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I met him in the club.

[Bonnie]

Let's bring John.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

Because you kind of have a long time. Like. I don't want to say tumultuous.

[Sloan Bella]

Long. Oh, it's tumultuous.

[Bonnie]

Okay. Long tumultuous.

[Sloan Bella]

We're friends.

[Bonnie]

What kind of relationship do you think it is? Do you think it's karmic? Do you think it's soulmate?

[Sloan Bella]

It's. It. It. Soulmate. Now, this is interesting because soulmate can be anybody. Yes. Your kid, your. Your parents, your whoever. It's definitely both. It's 100 karmic because, as I always tell the story. But it's true. I was going to Florida to work. I worked in Miami, so I was going to Florida. And I came into the club in the Valley. It was just a topless club at that Time that I was in, in the, in the Valley. A real hood rat club. No offense, but it was. Anyway, I would just, you know, do the dance contest win and then take off because I'm so add I don't want to stick around. So I was going to give the bartender money I owed her. And I saw John at the bar facing the tv. And when I looked at his back, I kid you not. And I was with my friend. We were. He came in the club with me. I said to my friend, I said, my little gay friend who was coming to Miami with me. I said, see that guy at the bar? I'm going to marry him. Like I knew it. And I saw one dark haired baby and one strawberry blonde on his back.

[Bonnie]

Oh my God.

[Sloan Bella]

So that is actually how I introduced, introduced myself to him. And he said, are you high or would you like a drink?

[Bonnie]

He's like, you are right up my alley.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I saw my children. Yeah, I saw them. Two boys. And I saw Keith. Keith is a strawberry blonde. Well, he was a toe head at birth. Like a real toe head. Beautiful hair.

[Bonnie]

Are you a natural blonde?

[Sloan Bella]

I'm a dark dishwater.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And sometimes I'll go red, sometimes, you know what, it changes. But now I love blonde. So, yeah, I'm a short haired, dumb blonde. There you go, there you go.

[Bonnie]

Not so dumb blonde.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, exactly. Stupid people. I have to say it. We should put the stupid people show. Yeah, but John was there, so I was on my way. I was also married to somebody else at the time. It was a four month marriage. I made a mistake. And the voice in my head when I was walking down the aisle talked outside of me and said not to get married. And I ignored it. Yes, I did. Because we all do that because we know think we know better. So I ignored it.

[Bonnie]

I did that twice.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, did you? Oh, yeah. Didn't you want to kick it before Jade?

[Bonnie]

Third time's a charm, baby.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was his second marriage and he was mine. But six months later I came back and I saw his friend in the bar. He was not there. So I said to his friend, can you call your friend? Because he said he'd be here. Like I was so literal it was ridiculous. And he came over and we started dating right then. And we weren't really apart. Like, like. And that was it. This is year 37 and we've only been divorced since October. So it was. I know, I moved out.

[Bonnie]

You guys divorced? You guys love each other. I feel like so much love.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I do. Love him. He was annoying.

[Bonnie]

John, you're annoying. After two babies and a lifetime together, whole life annoying. You delivered the kids, too.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, he did. He did deliver John some slack. I'm like, oh, he's so funny. He now lives in our house with my grandkids, my son. And there's no room for me right now, like, literally to do my podcast. I'm down the street in my studio, slash, where I stay. But then I go there to see the grandbabies. Yeah. I'm back and forth. I drive a lot, but. Which is good for my add.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

It's excellent. But what was so fascinating when I met John, this is true story. Our dads worked together. Wow. And we're both nicknamed Slim. Okay. Yeah. My dad was born in 1917. His dad, 1912. But they work for the same company.

[Bonnie]

Wow.

[Sloan Bella]

In the same line of work. His mom, her first name was Kathleen. My mom's middle name was Kathleen. Okay. And we're all from Canada and the families, so I know it's karmic.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

There's no way. Our backgrounds are very similar. What I think happened, because I can't get away from them. And I will pick men that are 20 to 25 years older. And that is a sign of abuse. Like, that does come from that. However, I get their time frame and their culture. Like, I'm not current. I'm back then. So all the TV shows they grew up with, I get.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

How they. Your.

[Bonnie]

Your adopted parents were also older.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad was in his 50s, and my mom was 40, and then I think turning 42 when she had my brother. So she got pregnant right away. Pretty much. There's two years between us. So she got pregnant on her own after she adopted, probably because she was not as nervous about never having kids, you know, for her. And it obviously, it was karma because she felt the need to do it right to begin with, you know, so that was karma. So everything was kind of. My brother was a Scorpio. You know how that goes.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. Rough Scorpio. I love Scorpio women. Scorpio men scare me.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. They can be. They're. They're. My husband's a Scorpio rising. He's an Aries Scorpio rising. And I'm just like, you never know. They think he. He's. And he's very psychic. He's. And see, for psychics. And this goes for you, too. You're what I call a sensitive. So you don't work professionally as a psychic. It's not your Profession. But you operate psychically and not just once or twice. You do everything psychically, so that's a sensitive. So you do your business through your psychic ability. So most successful people do do that. They just don't counsel others day in and day out, because it's not. That's not what they're here to do. They're here to do this business. But use that insight. Right. And John was very much like that, so I really appreciated it. And every. Every step of the way he's been on my journey. Like, if, like, on our way here, my bra broke, so he drove me to Victoria's Secrets to get a replacement.

[Bonnie]

Like on the way here in town.

[Sloan Bella]

No, he, he wasn't. He's. He's with the grandkids right now. But I'm like, we have to get a bra. He just looks at me. He's like, you have to catch the plane. I'm like, bra, please. So he's good like that. But if I were to say, hopefully he doesn't get mad. But it's. It was the alcohol. Like, it's a lifelong journey with the alcoholism or the alcoholic.

[Bonnie]

Alcoholic.

[Sloan Bella]

Not. Not according to him.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

But I feel that it's a problem. So if you drink and you talk to me in a certain way when my kids are older, I'm not going to listen to you.

[Bonnie]

It's a trigger for you. Yeah, that's what he needs to understand.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It's a huge.

[Bonnie]

And an abusive of home where alcohol was.

[Sloan Bella]

He did as well. Like, he. His dad was very similar to mine.

[Bonnie]

You guys are opposite ends of the spectrum, though. Like.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, his was more normal. Yeah, well, that, that.

[Bonnie]

And he took. Took it on. Whereas you were like, I.

[Sloan Bella]

Absolutely.

[Bonnie]

That's how I am. Like, I. I'm sober. I won't do drugs. I won't drink. Like, nothing. We planned a drink for Mimi's birthday. It's like a special occasion.

[Sloan Bella]

When is Mimi's birthday?

[Bonnie]

The 30th. April 30th. So April 28th, we're gonna go out and tie on, but I have to bring my own bottles. Like, I won't drink liquor at a bar because I don't.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. They spike it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Mimi, they spike it. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I don't trust anything drink out of Bunny's bottles. Literally. Yeah. So, you know, it was just two different ways.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Once I had kids too, I think that any kind of drugs or alcohol is off the table for me. Like, I get very serious. So I'm a mom that way. You know, women are Caretakers. So we. We hopefully don't go down. You know, I didn't want my kids to see that from me.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm not saying I didn't do drugs. I did as a teenager, but. Yeah. So I finally got fed up with it. But I'll tell you what I think really happened. I've given it a lot of thought because he drove me batshit crazy a lot and was my best friend. Like, he's the first person I call, so it's. I mean. Yeah. I just don't know what to say. I did from the minute I saw him. Even when he's annoying and, you know, I put his name in the freezer. Yeah. To block him. He knows that secret.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

He used to throw his name out of the ice cream tray. I used to put it in there, freeze it, so he wouldn't bug me and then.

[Bonnie]

At least you didn't put him in a jar with nails.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no, no. I wasn't trying to kill him. I'm just trying to back them off a bit. None of it works, actually, by the way. They're going to come forward if they want to, right?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

But it's. It's funny because we were struggling when I got pregnant with Keith in our relationship, and I wasn't sure I wanted another child, so I asked Keith to tell me if he wanted to come through. I wasn't opposed to not having the child or not. You know, Know, honestly, that was my mindset. I wanted a career. I was kind of selfish. I had Jason. I was good with one child, even though I saw two. And I really felt like Keith wanted to be born, so I had him. And I'm Is the best thing I ever did it. He was my tie to learning things that my first son taught me different things, but my Kiki taught me really huge lessons. Obviously, he passed, so. Huge lesson. But when I separated from John and I planned and I didn't let on, and then suddenly I just left. And he was so mad, and yet he would show up for dinner the next night, come get me, and I'm like, I'm gonna have my independence over here because I was such a young girl too, you know? But after that, it was six months later that Keith passed. So I think Keith's birth was for us to work our karma out. I think we completed that cycle, and so we can be really good friends now without having any kind of. Of issues. Right. You know, I mean, we can have issues, but I have my own place.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So. Bye.

[Bonnie]

So I feel like John's gonna just be in your life.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. And it's. I know you say a lot on your podcast, because me and John were talking about this, how people don't know how you're with Jay because it looks like it should not be according to them and their judgmental ass selves.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

John and I were always like that because he was much older. And so people. People would say, is that you're. You're. If our son. Is that your. Your grandson and your daughter? It's like, no, I. Him.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. I swear, people.

[Sloan Bella]

People are stupid.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

No. You know, not. Not everybody, but there just be random. So we always looked. Not when he was younger, but we always looked kind of now when you see us. Because he's. He's at that different stage in life. He just turned 78, so. Yeah. And he still can get you, though, if he wants to, so I'll give him that. But it. It's funny. Your friends are your friends, and it's timeless. Like, whoever you love is who you love. There is no path for that.

[Bonnie]

I always tell everybody, when I met Jay, it was literally like my soul was like, there you are.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like, I recognized him, and I had known him in every other life, too. And we have had the craziest relationship. But, like, that dude is my best friend. He's my John.

[Sloan Bella]

He's. Yeah. My best friend. Even when I'm freaking mad at him. Like, I could just put a fork in his forehead, which I tell him I'm drive there and stick one in your forehead.

[Bonnie]

Oh, don't be hurting John. Damn it.

[Sloan Bella]

You'll love that you're saying that. But it's funny because he is my best friend. Like, everything that I've ever done, my work, he's always there. Like, and he can bug me while I'm doing my work, but he's still always there to pick. You know, pick it up. And he's really good. Our little granddaughter loves the out of him. She looks at him like she knows him from somewhere. It's the strangest. She could. Like, she's friends with me, but wherever he goes in the room, she's like, it's so funny.

[Bonnie]

She just loves him.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. She just sees him and she checks for him. Like, her little head pops out of your arm looking for him.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

The cutest.

[Bonnie]

So let's talk about your kids.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

Those are your light. And you have said numerous times during this podcast that you came here to be a mom.

[Sloan Bella]

I did. I didn't Know it, but I did.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. Let's talk about it.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, my God.

[Bonnie]

Take me on that journey.

[Sloan Bella]

I loved being pregnant with Jason. Loved it. Like, loved it. I was like, look, I'm. I gained 197 pounds. I really did.

[Bonnie]

I bet you were so cute, though, because you're so tiny.

[Sloan Bella]

No, I was a beast. It's like a wildebeest out there. But my stepson called me a blueberry because I wore blue. Blue overalls. And I was so huge. Like, I mean, my belly was, like. It was hideous. But I mean, cute. It was Jason. And I just absolutely. I loved breastfeeding. I breastfed for two years. And. And we. We co. Shared the bed. The kids didn't have their own beds, you know, they. They did, but I brought them all in the bed with me, and my son does the same, so it's kind of cute. They all co. Sleep. Co sleep, I think is what they called it. We just called it sharing the bed, but I just ab. It was the best experience in my life. It changed me so much. It changed me. It just. It was incredible. And then you become this, like, even more paranoid OCD person with kids. You're like, you know, you realize you're responsible for Mimi's laughing over there. You're just like, no babysitters. I made up. Yeah. Yeah. Family members only. My mother in law. My mother in law was on set. Do you remember Psychic Friends Network back in the day? So we did my client reenactments that the show did. Linda Georgian was a friend of mine, and Dionne Warwick was the host. That's the only way they'd put it on in the air. But my mother in law would be in the green room and hold Jason and I'd breastfeed him between takes and come back. Yeah, I dragged her everywhere with me, and she did it willingly. So, yeah, it was the best. And when I got pregnant with Keith, it was. Jason was so lovely. And I was kind of mad when I got pregnant again because it went so quick that first two and a half years that I'm like, oh, no, there's another baby coming. I don't. You know, like, now I can't give to Jason because I'm now gonna have two. So I was kind of mad at first, which was weird. And then I got into the pregnancy and both my kids told me their names at ultrasounds at six months. So I wanted to name both of them Matthew. Like, I had that in my head. They're going to be Matthew something. Right. I don't I don't know why. I just like the name. So with Jason, I heard Jason. So at six and a half months, I'm like, he's Jason. And then with Keith, I heard Keith. And John's like, who do you know name Keith? I'm like, nobody.

[Bonnie]

You're like, Keith Richards.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it's. He's born on the same day as my son. Oh, December 18th. Yes.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my God.

[Sloan Bella]

Good hit.

[Bonnie]

That's crazy.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Keith Richards. Keith was not like Keith, but he could have been, maybe, I guess. But yeah, when I got pregnant with Keith, it was so different because that was an extraordinary thing. When. When I gave birth to Jason, I flew out of my body. I was pushing. They said, push. And my mother, birth mother was there, and she had a mirror. She's like, look, you can see like, I don't care.

[Bonnie]

You know, my head gets spinning around.

[Sloan Bella]

And so John was there, and he was holding me up, and. And I'm push, push, push. And I'm thinking to myself, this is actually hell. I need to get. I told John, go down the street, get that kid. He used to play baseball. I said, he sells drugs. Find him. Give me the drugs. But it's too late at that point. Anyway, I flew right out of my body, and suddenly I was looking above myself, and I saw Jason, who hadn't even come out at age 19, handing John a little girl. And she was Hispanic mixed, and I a baby girl, and she had wavy hair, and she was a little toddler, and he was hand, like, handing her over, like it was over my body. But I'm watching it. John's over there. And I knew it was his granddaughter. That's our first granddaughter, baby Lila. And I saw her, and when I saw her, I went, oh, my God, there she is. She's here. And she. I described her. John's like. Like, that's weird. Yeah, he's like the absolute description because it wasn't anybody we thought who it would be with and this, that, and the other. And with Keith, I was screaming as my legs were up, and I. I was in the Jacuzzi, and something told me to get out of the Jacuzzi because it didn't feel right. So John's like, don't push. Don't push. And I'm like, why? The midwife was on her way. It was crazy, Chris, almost to be Christmas. And he's like, the head is purple. I'm like. So meanwhile, the midwife gets there. John actually did this. I got to give him kudos for this. He Pushed Keith's head back inside. Yes. For the love of God, I. Yes. No, seriously. I couldn't even feel it, though, because I was so like, what's happening?

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

I was just like, you're.

[Bonnie]

But for him to even be able to do that.

[Sloan Bella]

He did it. He jumped. Right. That's one thing about him. He's really good at that. Like, if you're having an emergency, he will stop and help you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And he doesn't care. Care.

[Bonnie]

You can't leave this man.

[Sloan Bella]

No.

[Bonnie]

Up in your hoo.

[Sloan Bella]

Ha. Literally with his. Literally felt like a Mack truck after. But he. Keith was tangled down here and under here. And John untangled him. The midwife came in and so turned me. And then Keith was delivered. But then he had to go to the hospital. And this is an even funnier story. But not. So I'm there and I'm. I don't have any clothes that'll fit, so I'm wearing John's pants. And I said, you stay with Jason. I'm getting in the ambulance with Keith. Keith, he went. And our doctor was Heidi Fleiss's dad.

[Bonnie]

Oh.

[Sloan Bella]

Who was doing the movie and in trouble for tax evasion at the time. So they banned him from the hospital.

[Bonnie]

Oh, no.

[Sloan Bella]

So then the hospital called social services on us for having a home birth and all of that. And little Keithy had to stay there one week. They want to make sure he was okay because he got strangled coming out. But he was. Was fine. And he was nine, just over nine pounds. And he was in with the little, like, drug babies that were the size of your hand. It was. I was like. Like little, like not even a pound babies. And that blew my mind. But I was still, like, really angry that my Keithy was in there. So I go to anger first. Always. I'm like, I will you. I'll get my kid out of here. And so Keith came home and he was just so cute. And that changed my life too. But when I got pregnant with Keith going. But I'm always going backwards. That's. I have a lot of cancer planets. We do that. We go forward and then we look back. Astrology lessons. Yeah. But when I got pregnant with Keith.

[Bonnie]

That explains why you say that you came here to be a mother. Because cancer represents mother.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like mom.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I just. Absolutely. It was. I'm not saying I was the best. I would chase those kids. Ask Jason. Like, I. My oldest son, when he was being bad, I. I park my car, kick my shoes off and tackle them on the street. Like, I Was that.

[Bonnie]

That's how I would be a mom.

[Sloan Bella]

Like that, you know?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

People are like your mom. It's like, you are not going off with that kid. I told you no. Yeah. And you know, no. I wanted them to stay away from drugs, obviously. Obvious who, you know, who wants their kids on drugs? Said no one. But when I got pregnant, I. It was St Patrick's Day and I'd gone down and gotten. I felt like having sex and John was with his friends. So I went down to the. Was known as a bicycle club in Burbank. And I dragged him away from his friends for a quickie on the living room floor. And I literally heard ping. It was like, ping, you're pregnant. And I just remember him saying, I am not out of the room. And I was pregnant. We couldn't know then, right? And then I tell the story, but I really heard one's coming and one's going. So I didn't quite know what it meant. But when I looked up when Keith would be born, and it was a sad. I knew it was his brother Jimmy. So I didn't know the timeline, but that was my first hit that Jimmy was gonna pass.

[Bonnie]

And that means the stepson.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, he was. That devastated me, like, because I saw it. And as a psychic person, when you get that information, it's almost like you feel you're causing it, but it's not that you're. You're getting the phone, like the strand of information first and you can feel it. And it's so. It blew my mind. It. It fractured me. I was not normal after. Like, I had a psychotic break. Like, that's what they said. I went to the hospital and ran away from the hospital because I thought the doctor was an escape mental patient. I mean, I was out of my mind. Like, I was just like, I'm not staying. Goodbye.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I gotta go.

[Sloan Bella]

You. Because the voices in my head, like now, they were messing with me because I was. Was. So when. When Jimmy died, it. It shattered me like glass. And John as well, I'll never forget it. But as we got closer to the time frame, I had the conversation with him because I kept hearing the voices. So I thought I'll go to his work and just jokingly sit down with him. Because he. We learned while I was pregnant he had a drug problem. We did not know that. I mean, maybe his sister did, but I did not know that. Other than weed. I mean, whatever, but nothing serious. And he started doing the overdosing thing and this and that, and he did not look like it. He was extremely good looking. Okay. And tall and healthy looking. And Dan, you know, so he didn't look like he was destroying himself, if that makes sense. And I went to John's work. He was working with John at that time. And I sat down with him and on his lunch break, he'd always tan out in the parking lot. So I was sitting with him and I'm like, like, you know, how do you want. How do you want to be buried? And he's like traditional Catholic.

[Bonnie]

And he just answers that.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, he just like, no, he was a double sag. He was the best. He was December 9th and he had a Pisces moon, though. Sweet little Pisces moon. Really sad for this planet. Too sensitive for the planet.

[Bonnie]

Pisces.

[Sloan Bella]

Venus, yeah. The nicest. The nicest person. The nicest, kindest person. Pisces always is. And they take care of everything and everybody, but it will destroy them too. So mentally for him. But anyway, he told me he'd just gone to a wedding and he was wearing his dad's tie, which was the one that John wore to our wedding. So he said, yeah, I'll wear that tie and this, that and the other. So, you know, up then I was. After Keith was born, I thought we were safe. Again, this is my thinking I can control or that I understand, and I did not. They're going to teach you a lesson psychically every single time. But it was Keith. He took his first steps on the die on the day his brother died. So my son walked, and our other son, which would be John's son, passed on that day. And it just overdose. Yep, at John's work. And I just. I. I heard the phone call coming in and I walked out the front door because I knew. I was told it would be by Halloween. And this was October 9th, and it. I can't even describe it. I was not normal. Neither was obviously John. And poor Keith, he was 10 months old, so he never knew. He went through so much. And that was my first. I remember looking at the body in the funeral. It's not funny. But in the funeral home, and we.

[Bonnie]

Have already established that you laugh when you're uncomfortable.

[Sloan Bella]

It was so I almost knocked all the flowers over. Like I couldn't get out of the room fast enough. And I was like, they didn't brush his hair right. He had long hair. He used to wear it in a ponytail. And I was like, his hair's wrong. But of course, you're dead, so your hair is wrong. You're dead. And it was so traumatic for me. And I had postpartum, too, so I had those two things. And poor John. He had to get up and go to work. Like, he was supporting us at that time because I had stopped working, pregnant with Keith, and was looking after Jason, and so he was a sole supporter, so he had to go back to work. And the thing about the grief that I found so interesting is people would call me from his work. Like, he'd forward the phones and I'd answer, and they're like, yeah, how's Jimmy? John told me he was, you know, getting lunch when I stopped by. And I'm like, he's actually dead. Like, he would not say it. No, for like a good. He was. He wouldn't say it. I mean, people knew. Obviously, people knew us, but he wouldn't say it. And poor Jason was three and loved his brother. Before my Keith, he came. It was Jimmy who showed himself on my podcast. And so I jokingly thought, like, see your first dad. I'm like, how about somebody else in the family? Never occurred to me that he. He crossed my son over. So he came to let me know. I always saw Jimmy. He showed me how he died. Much different than with Keith and with. When Keith passed. When I got that call from my other son, Jason, who did not know he was dead, he just said his exact words. 130. Is it okay to say this? Yeah. You asked about the kids, so I'm talking about it. But when Jace called me, I just finished working, and he never called. He used to text, so I picked up for that reason. You know how these kids are. They don't want to talk to you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I try to get our kid on the phone all the time. Yeah, don't text me, call me.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, they don't like that. Yeah, the 30 year olds don't either. Yeah, 31. Anyway, he called me and he said, keith hit the floor. And I'm like. Like he fell down the stairs. Like, I didn't understand the motorcycle conversation. And I said, what are you talking about? He said, the motorcycle. And I said, where? What hospital? I went right to that. He said, chatsworth. I said, Where? DeSoto. So I'm on the phone. I have had a best friend.

[Bonnie]

So did he know or.

[Sloan Bella]

No, he didn't. No, no, no. Somebody had called him.

[Bonnie]

Gotcha.

[Sloan Bella]

And said your brother was in an accident. I heard from George because Keith had gone out to get the motorcycle. John had Covid at the time was really sick. George and Keith went out to get Keith's bike because it been in the shop. So George was driving. Shout out to George a Scorpio. There you go. Yeah, he's a November 4th Scorpio. Anyway, one of Keith's friends, he was driving Keith's car, and Keith was riding the bike home, and they were going to the gym after that, like. Like my kids do.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And so George did not have my phone number or Jason. So he called our other neighbor, David. David called Jason. So that's how I found out. And then said, call your mom. Tell her whatever. But he didn't know he was dead. So David drove out before we got there. And then the police told David what happened, and he called Jason. But I did not get that call. But I knew I went complete the. The. I went numb. I don't have feelings. I laugh. You could punch me. I don't have feelings now. I don't feel anxiety, like. Like, you know, how it takes over your body. I don't feel that anymore. But I know I have it right, Mentally, intellectually, But I feel nothing physically. So I, of course, went to anger. But I drove down the street. I was calling the police, and they wouldn't tell me. So then David called me and sent me a pin to where Keith was. And I said, you need to tell me. Is my son dead? And he wouldn't answer. So I started screaming at him, you killed him. Like, I just went right nuts on him. The poor kid did. He hung up on me, ignored me, thank God. But he didn't want to tell me. That's what he said later. He goes, I just didn't want to say it. You were driving, so I just didn't want to say it. So I was on the. I was on. It's funny. I'd been on a group text, shout out to Carol, and she had said, let's. I had said, let's steal the bikes. And she was going to put them in her garage. And I didn't follow through because I called John and he said, they'll just get insurance money and buy faster bikes, right? So. And I didn't even know Keith had a bike until two weeks before he passed because I wasn't living in that house. And they shut the garage on me till I walked up on it. One day I saw Jason's bike, and then I saw a blue one, and I'm like, whose is that? Because I know Jason.

[Bonnie]

I have the same thing with motorcycles. I will not let my husband have one.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no, no. The drivers. No, this lady just. I have the video from a neighbor. Thank God, I had to do all the work though. And the police thought I would. Is crazy.

[Bonnie]

You're a crazy mom who loved your son.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, that's it. I. I just remember pulling up and I saw the tarp and I went completely nuts. They would not let me go near the body. I didn't care. I don't care what position my son's in. He's my son. I'm here to clean his life up and bring him in. Like that's my job. And I'll tell you something, I. I think of it, it's. To all the mothers that have lost. I hope I don't cry. Anyway. To all the mothers who've lost. Lost kids. Makes me. It's a full moon. I'm going nuts. But it's okay. It's.

[Bonnie]

It's okay to hurt.

[Sloan Bella]

This is a. Yeah, it's very painful. But obviously. But to all the mothers, it's a great honor to finish your child's life. I learned that because I cleaned up and had help from so many people who helped me clean up my son's life. I felt like I had to. Like, he was not finished. And so I felt like I would do everything, find out everything, make sure all his friends knew how important they were to him and do things in his honor. That's how I looked at it now. That was. It was. It blew my mind. I was just like. And I just couldn't understand, like people like the police were there. I couldn't understand what they were saying. I was like, what the are you saying? And I could see him. And it's funny, the first person I texted was his ex. Ex girlfriend. They were not together. Her name is Paige. I love her dearly. I texted her, I sent her a picture from across the street. Don't ask me why I did that. She was with her boyfriend now and they have a 1 year old, 16 month old child, really cute. And he said. She told me this after he said, what's wrong? And she said, I think Keith died. So they pulled over. She had the same reaction I did because he looked like he was. He was sleeping. They covered him and his little socks were there and they were dirty on the bottom. And I was like, why are his socks. Because he used to run around in white socks outside on the. You know how men are. They just go out. And she had the same, same comment. I just felt the urge to send her that. I don't know, I just had that reaction. And she was. Yeah, she would. And then Jason pulled up. He reacted the same way I did. He ran out of the car. It took three police to hold him back because he was going to fight them. He's like his mother that way when he's a guy. And McKenna was there, my lovely little makeup artist daughter in law. And she was there. And I just watched her. She kind of slid onto the ground. She's a Pisces. She just kind of hit the ground. And Jason just ran like he was a quarterback, like, trying to get to his brother. And they had to, like. Like, you know, push him like that. And so it was unbelievably traumatic. I just changed the whole mood of the room, but it was.

[Bonnie]

No, that's okay.

[Sloan Bella]

It was so traumatic to me that I don't even know how to describe it. Like, John didn't get out there to. I just. And I remember calling him as I was driving up and I told him to shut up because he started crying like a wounded animal. Not crying, wailing. The word is wailing. I couldn't handle it. Shut up. Click. And he couldn't come because he was too sick. He had a fever and all of that. But I just. Seeing it just blew my. Like, it just blew my mind. And so we waited. You wait, obviously, till the coroner gets there, because they have to do what they do. And I was. George had gone. George, because the police. He took Keith's car. His family took his car to John's. And when the corner put Keithy on the stretcher, his eyes were half open, like that's what happens when you die. And his mouth was open. So I. I was above his head, and his feet were this way. And Jason was behind me in the corner. And I sniffed for him. I wanted to smell him. He was not there. I sniffed his mouth. I looked at. I. I was like a nut. I looked at his eyes. I had to take it all in because that's how I am. I have to find out everything. But I had to look at him. I had to see. I didn't have panic at the time. I was just numb. But I could not smell him. He was gone. Like he was out of the vicinity. Now I'm going to tell a really interesting thing after that. The next day, my Jason was coming home from the gym in Burbank or wherever he was, but I think it was the gym. A lady hit him on his motorbike. So I was in the emergency room with him. She ran over his right. Didn't break anything, but ran over the right side of his leg and wouldn't get Off. She was wearing a mask and an older lady, and the lady behind her had to bang, bang, bang. And then help Jason the day after that. Jason says he doesn't remember, but Kenna does remember. So Jason, anyway, said he had, like, a vision in our house. House. And he saw Keith come in with his helmet on, go upstairs like he did. And he turned to his dad, and John said to him, in this vision, this wasn't really happening. This is what Jason saw. And he said, doesn't. Doesn't he know he's dead? And John said, don't tell him he'll stay longer. Which would be exactly what he would say. And so Jason said. They sat there, and Keith came downstairs, sat on our table. We have a low table and lounge table. And he sat on it. And Jason and John and him were talking in this vision. And then Jason couldn't stand it anymore. And he said, bro, you died on a motorcycle. You're dead. And he said. Keith looked at him and said, I'm not dead. And they. They did what guys do. They stood up and these two would. You know how guys are. They fight, like, with their chests and stuff. And Jason said he, like, chest bumped him energetically and then got so mad he swooshed out of the room. So technically, Jason told a piece of key soul. That's a great illustration because he helped his brother leave. Like, at least understand part of that, because part we split into different energies when we pass. Part of his energy went one way, but part came home because he wasn't sure because we're not contained. See? So Jason actually did that. Jason has been a good medium since he was a kid. He's actually better than I am, but he will never admit it and will ignore this conversation for me saying that. And then that night, I slept in Keith's bed, and I felt him. Kenna came in the room. Keith's cat was there, Tulip. And I felt Keith come through me, but he was. It's fragmented. I knew he was hugging me, but his energy was all over me, and yet he was hugging me. It wasn't like I hug you.

[Bonnie]

It's kind of like a tornado.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, like.

[Bonnie]

Like.

[Sloan Bella]

Like the static on a TV for, like, you walk through that and how that was. Would feel. It was like that, but I knew it was him. I slept in his bed, and I just said to John, I'm gonna sleep in his bed. And I went so that I could smell him, because I couldn't smell him. And that made me. He had a very distinct. My kids I could. You know, you can smell your children. Even with cologne on, you can smell them.

[Bonnie]

And when was this? When did this happen?

[Sloan Bella]

2020. July 29th. 2020. Yeah. But Keith, Keith, I have to show you the picture. He manifested on my life live stream because I kept saying I can't feel him. I. I did. I felt him move through me and I felt him when I was preparing his friends prepared the most beautiful send off and celebration. We did the service in the park guerrilla style because it was Covid. So like 60 people came in the park where he would work out. During COVID the funeral home took his body across the street because there were no. Nobody was allowed to view. I threw a tantrum and said, I'm bringing him home if we can't. And so they moved him to a different area. We signed waivers and everybody was at once was able to see him. And I was quite fine looking at his body because I knew he wasn't there. So it was very different than when his brother died because something in me thought he was still in there. But when I looked at Keith, he looked like my Keithy. Skinnier because you. You lose your volume. But it wasn't like he's not there.

[Bonnie]

Do you think it's because you had that maternal attachment to him that you feel that? Oh, as opposed to with Jimmy?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Oh, definitely. Yeah. I just knew he wasn't there. So I. I looked at the body and I. I actually took pictures of him so that I would remember it. And it looks like him sleeping like a little angel. So they could not put clothes on him because his body was damaged tremendously from the motorcycle. So they wrapped him and he looked like a little mummy. It was so cute. Cute. His little face was really cute. So I saw that and he manifested. I think it was Elvis's birthday. Somebody emailed me the other night. I was talking about this. So I have like your sets. Like a couch that was behind me and it had a blue throw on it. It was in my other studio and they're.

[Bonnie]

They're all crying over here. It made me cry too.

[Sloan Bella]

I am. I'm sorry.

[Bonnie]

No, don't apologize. I just being vulnerable.

[Sloan Bella]

It's. Yeah, it's. The. The one way to get at me is to say something about my kids. I will. Yeah. Or to, you know, like negative. I mean, but absolutely Keithy came through. So I. I was sitting. So I sit at. At the kitchen table. The only thing I took in the divorce was my kitchen table where my kids sat. That's like I lug A huge, big, fat, thick ass kitchen table around.

[Bonnie]

Cuz I'm like my husband, he's obsessed with our kitchen tables for some reason.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Cuz people sit there.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And talk. That's it. So I. My camera's on that and my little. So I had it there and the. The two chairs were behind me and people started going, look, look what's happening behind you. So I turn, I can't see anything because the lights in my face and I don't see anything. They're like, there's the face, there's the face. And I'm like, I'm live streaming so I can hear them. I mean, see the thing. And I'm like, oh, it's got to be Jim Morrison. I'm screwing around. I have a picture. It's Keith's profile from his picture. Someone took a picture of me with it behind it and attached Keith's face beside it to show that like he manifests. He manifests all the time. So I get comfort in that. Although I'll tell you, as a medium who's lived through this, I still want my son here. There is nothing you can tell a mother or a person who's lost somebody that makes them feel better. So I don't even think I make people feel better when I tell them. If I tell them I. Because I miss my son. So you can tell me stuff. Stuff doesn't matter. I want my teeth here.

[Bonnie]

I think your soul is always going to ache for him.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I. I think that's. That's what I'm. That. That's what I do. So. But it has brought me so many lovely people who. So many people reached out. Oh my God, I was dying. Like I. And so many people. I shout out to the. My friend Bobby, who. Keith came to her and she painted his picture. And then she was a PI and she found every witness, so. And set up everything I needed to take to court, you know, to try and figure out what happened. She did it. And she literally said, was it a hit and run? It was like my friend Stacy, who is a police of Los Angeles said it. It caused the accident. Like if you're on the side, they didn't hit him, but they pulled into his lane. Cause it was DeSoto. So six lanes going one way, going the other way. And Keith was going to the freeway. He was in the closest to oncoming traffic. The lady pulled to turn left and she went out like this, which caused him to move into the middle lane. And I have him on the bike, He's Upright and fine, like nothing is showing. And then two houses later, he hits a mailbox that the person cemented into the ground, and it all catapults him and cuts basically his. This. This artery here. And so he was dead. And people kept saying, oh, your son was doing a wheelie. No, we hit the mailbox. And when it cut him, because it was metal and cemented when it cut him. That's a death grip. Like that. Yeah, that's what that is. And then he hit a telephone pole. And you'll love. Not love that, but he landed outside a Buddhist temple.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sloan Bella]

And so the monks were praying for him.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my God.

[Sloan Bella]

When I got there, which I liked.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Because my kithi, like, would like that. So I was very happy that people, they went. They told me. They took me over there when I got there, and they told me they were praying for him and they were chant. You could hear them chanting. So he passed right outside of there, and it was actually under a really beautiful tree. It's very odd, but I tried to observe everything that about it, like every single element so that I know what I saw and I can understand it. Yeah, absolutely. I petitioned the court for three years and finally got all the police video cam. So I saw every aspect of the damage done to my son. All the video. Now I can look at it. John does not want to look at it, Jason. And I can look at it, but I had to look at witnesses and how they responded and people around, and I had to know. And I can actually hear through the video, Keith's friend David on the phone. The police are telling him, and he's crying, and I can hear Jason screaming at him through the phone. And I can hear him say, bro, why would I lie? Your brother's debt. Like, I can hear that conversation. So it's fascinating. It put everything into order for me so I can see how it drives people crazy when they don't know, you know, what happened or they can't see it. So I advise people to get as much information, as much as you can get, because even though you don't want to know it, it may help you understand a series of events which will then help you process it.

[Bonnie]

Absolutely.

[Sloan Bella]

That's what I feel.

[Bonnie]

No, I'm the same way. I want to know every aspect of every situation so that I can either one, come to some sort of closure in my own life or just know. It's just something about being an information junkie. I have to know everything you need to know.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, that's that's the same with me. I needed to know. And then I needed to advocate for my son and I needed to. I throw parties to celebrate his transition, which is his birthday on the other side. That's how I choose to see it. So I put a bench up in the park. That's what we decided to do as a family, where he exercised. So I decorated on the day he passed. And we have beer and pizza parties. And on his birthday, we let off firecrackers. The neighbors call the police. But we do it every year, so that's what we do. And his friends come and they always. You know, I get invited to all the baby showers, so I go as him. Him. If that makes sense. Yep. Absolutely. For every single one of his friends and all their little kids. And it's. It's. It's a nice therapeutic for you too. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, it's really great to watch these kids. I wish. I know he knows Meadow. That's my little granddaughter. I know he knows her.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And my. My other granddaughter did part of the eulogy at his funeral. She was eight. She stood up. She wanted to.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, she did. Really brave. Brave. Because I didn't want to stand up, so she did. Yeah, really brave.

[Bonnie]

Thank you for sharing that with us.

[Sloan Bella]

God, I just. Your audience is like, whoa.

[Bonnie]

No, they love this. What do you mean? Yeah, I. Before we get in segue into our next chapter of this, can I pee really quick? Sorry. We're getting our lives together, Sloan.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I'm getting mine together. I dressed. I'm like, I'm so excited. I arrived here dressed like a sane person. Sometimes I think I'm gonna let look cute for somebody. And then I'm like, just stick with what you know works.

[Bonnie]

You look beautiful.

[Sloan Bella]

So.

[Bonnie]

You are gorgeous.

[Sloan Bella]

I. We. We. But we all. All of us are gorgeous. Everybody's gorgeous. They really are. But we don't see it that way because we believe I do.

[Bonnie]

And you know what? A lot of people are always like, why is Bunny nice to these people? Like, I. I was on what. Somebody sent me a bunch of screenshots today from this group that's on a website that just does nothing but talk about people. And they were like, bunny is always just so nice to people who have mental illness. And I'm like, am I supposed to judge them? Am I supposed to make them feel terrible about themselves? Like, that's not. That's not what I'm here for. I'm here to love people and put a smile on their face.

[Sloan Bella]

And correct.

[Bonnie]

Make them feel good about themselves.

[Sloan Bella]

That's an ignorant comment.

[Bonnie]

It's so weird. You would not believe the I have to deal with online. It's crazy.

[Sloan Bella]

I get. I get the. Yeah. That one woman, my PI was messaging me going, I think this is her page. She's sending it to me while I'm here. And I'm like. She's like, you can tell she killed her son and, oh, my goodness, to be famous. I'm like, lady, I had no like, in my head. But you can't fight them back.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. Because they tried to say that about us. My mom died before an award show.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

And they tried to say, oh, was Bunny's mom a sacrifice? And that's why Jay won all the awards. And I'm like, my mom.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like, nobody wants her. Like, love you, mom. But no, but that's not sacrificial lamb material. That's, you know, like.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, no, it's. It. It just. It's weird. And then they say things like, you talked it. And. No, that. That's how I work. That's what Claire Audience is. You say things and it actually happens.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So it was just horrible. It was.

[Bonnie]

See, so mine's the opposite. I have visions, and if I don't say anything, it will happen, but if I do, sometimes it, like, changes the trajectory of it. It's really weird.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, it's really.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, they.

[Bonnie]

I tell them that all the time. I'm like, I have have to tell you this, because if I tell you it, then it won't happen.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah, that's. That could be also your ocd. Yeah. Making deals. Making the deals. But I know with me, when I call it Psychic Tourette's, if I keep hearing it enough, I have to say it, or it just eats me. And I wanted to warn both my boys, and I didn't know which one I. My best friend was a psychic, and I went to her and I said, tell me which one of my kids is dying? And she's like, I can see the chaos. I can see the lady. And it was a lady that pulled up. We just found her. Her. Taking me four years to find her. We just. I put her face everywhere online. I got it off the. Would never know who she was, but I got it off the police footage. That's why I knew I had to get it. Wow. So now we're tracking her this week. My PI Is going to call, and.

[Bonnie]

Then you can put. You can press charges.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, she's gonna have to Say why she didn't stop. She's all over my son's body an hour before I got there. I have it on police or. They didn't get her name, nothing. She's.

[Bonnie]

Oh, she stopped. And then.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, she stopped. They're look, her and her. Whoever she was with, they're looking for. All over the ground. And I'm like, it. And. And then they're talking. They're talking about George's family. I have it on tape. Like, I got the police footage. I had to subpoena myself. I had to research how to do that. Wow. Took me 18 tries. But I kept going into court, getting a subpoena and going down there, and they're like, denied. And I'm like, you. I'm going back. But I did it because I knew I had to see something on the footage. And it's actually the. One of our witnesses described her and said, oh, no. She talks to the police. Police. And they didn't think anything of it. He died six months after that from a fentanyl overdose. And so. But he described her. So when I saw her on the video, I'm like, bingo.

[Bonnie]

Wow.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I have him on tape. So I taped everything. Yeah, it. It. Yeah. Yeah. Poor kid was Jason's age. Anyway. Fentanyl. And he was just. I felt bad. He didn't stop because he said he was smoking weed when he was driving up the street. He didn't want to get busted. But he did report her. And then I can see her everywhere. She's all over the body. And the police says, what's your name, ma'am? And she's like, oh, I'm praying. And she pretends to pray. I want. Yeah. I want to kick the. Out of her, Sloan.

[Bonnie]

That is horrific.

[Sloan Bella]

I watched it, and they wouldn't let me.

[Bonnie]

How can. I would never be able to live with that. Like, go home and.

[Sloan Bella]

You're not a good person. You're.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. To go home and go to bed and know that you killed somebody and you acted like you were praying over.

[Sloan Bella]

She didn't hit him. She pulled out.

[Bonnie]

Right, right, right, right.

[Sloan Bella]

Which. So there was.

[Bonnie]

She obviously knew she did something wrong.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

She was investigating somebody.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And then she went to help George. She got water. So I asked George's mom, do you know this woman? And she. Oh, that's the nice lady that brought him water. Talking to the cops on a ramp. Oh, that kid. He comes from a shitty family. And then she's like, yeah, the mother. She's a tall blonde. I'm not Tall. I'm five, six. I'm average. And I mean, and then she's like, the father's older. And then the kid in the car is like, he's like 80. I'm like, how do you know who I am? Like, like, they. They obviously went on. I. I don't know. But they badmouth George and all kinds of. And poor George was so traumatized because he was with. He went sat with Keith. But anyway, it was so. But now I have her name, so my PI is texting.

[Bonnie]

Well, you got to keep me updated on that now. And once you, you know, pursue it and everything, come back on the podcast.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, and we're definitely doing that.

[Bonnie]

I mean, hell hath no fury like a mama scorned, man, let me tell you.

[Sloan Bella]

No, this is Keith right here. This. He would hate it. But I hacked. Hijacked his phone and hacked into it, and that's the last picture he had up. But he was 6 foot 4 and darling. Cute. Such a cute little blonde, green eyed, sweet.

[Bonnie]

Sounds like my type.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, he would love him. He was so cute. And he would have loved you. He'd have been so excited because of your husband. He would have loved that. I love that his best friend's mom texted me, oh, my God. Keith would have loved jelly rolls. Music. No. Yeah, I love that.

[Bonnie]

So, speaking of. Speaking of jelly roll.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

You know, my husband is obsessed with you, and he has just been since last night, just hammering me with, please ask her these questions. Please, I need answers. And, like, he just really doesn't.

[Sloan Bella]

He has answers, but he's just being kind.

[Bonnie]

He doesn't. No, he doesn't trust anybody. You know, you and Tyler Henry are like, the only two he trusts, actually. Like. Like, you know, please. And then so I made the mistake of. I just never want to ever overstay my welcome with people's gifts, you know, And I just feel like it's. It's a gift and, you know, like, I don't ever want to intrude. So with Tyler, I didn't really go in depth and I didn't intrude, and he was just. Jay was like, what do you mean? You had him for two hours and you didn't ask him a thing. And I. I'm like, well, not really. So we will do the complete opposite, and I will try to ask you some questions and. But you. So you pulled up our birth charts.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

Okay, cool.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

So you did our birth charts. And I'm curious to hear about all this. Let's go ahead and.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Well, this is super interesting. I'm gonna tell you something super interesting about your man. First, I'll go back to. You're the host.

[Bonnie]

I should talk about, you know, talk about Daddy.

[Sloan Bella]

Since we just talked to Daddy and he said, don't forget me. We're not forgetting you, Daddy. Can I call him Daddy?

[Bonnie]

Yes, of course. Everybody calls him Daddy.

[Sloan Bella]

Roll. Okay? Y. So the first thing I noticed with him in this life, and I'm going to say it straight out, no matter what he did, whether he's a singer, construction worker, I don't care what he did in this life, he was never going to be handed anything. His life is about building it for himself from his own constitution. So he wasn't gonna. Even if he was born into a Hilton family, he was never going to inherit that money. Because for some reason, the karma in this life is you must do for yourself. It's about getting to know yourself in this life. His chart is totally set up for music.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

But here's the issue. Everybody got an issue in astrology, okay? Because he's a sag rising, okay? So that's fantastic. Yeah, it's cute. But he has Neptune on the ascendant, which is musical sun and uranus in the 12th house. He actually channels the music he writes so it comes to him in Claire audience form. So he understands what I'm saying because he hears the wording and puts it to paper notes. Automatic writing, okay? That's what we call. Some people write like this when they're. When they're giving readings because it's automatic writing. So he could technically do that. He guides it towards music. Now, because Neptune, which is your Venus's ruling planet, okay? Because Venus is in Pisces, because Neptune. Neptune is up there on his ascendant. He has no clear vision of himself. So I'm going to just word it this way. I know he's extremely sensitive, so let me word it this way. Anything about him in a physical sense, he does not see himself in that way. Whoever. And however he shows up, I don't care if he shows up, like looking, whatever, versus how he looks now, whatever people think, this does not matter to him because he. It changes is for him. When he sees himself, obviously he can look at himself. He knows who he is because he's, you know, gone by a mirror like we all do. But I'm talking spiritually speaking, he does not see himself. So he is a chameleon in the way he moves. Now he seems. When I look at him, I could pretty much say Yeah, I recognize the look. Okay. I can see what he'd wear. I get all of that. However, on a spiritual level, that's not. He switches internally, therefore, that's why his physical isn't important to him. It has to be pointed out to him.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Now, that's interesting, because your chart is all about learning how to take care of self in this life in a physical way. So he would almost call you in to help him do that because it doesn't mean anything to him and not because of anything he is or isn't. He could be the version of the perfect version of health right now, according to the public. Because I know what the public says about everybody. Yeah, they're a bunch of. Just shut the hell up. You know, it's always like, oh, you have blonde hair. Really? I never knew that about myself. Yeah, you know, you're.

[Bonnie]

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, no, that's what I say all the time. Whatever. But he doesn't see himself. So when you look at a chart and you see that Neptune there, you understand. Oh, this makes sense. This makes perfect sense. If he were too focused on self, he wouldn't be able to accomplish his goal. So he's come from a direct past life where this. The focus has been on just self, like, whatever that means. I don't quite know what that means, but self. So he wasn't able to do the other things he wanted to do. And this is like a cycle of three for him in this lifetime. So he's accomplished it. And I'm going to tell you something else. I'm going to go out on a limb and do one of my predictions. Okay, so within the next eight years, he's in another career. So the music thing is not where he's staying.

[Bonnie]

Please don't say politics, because that's what it's leading towards.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay, well, it's eight years from now, and the music is not what he's doing. It's so clear. He's. He's complete. Okay, when we come in, you know how they say we have a purpose in a life and we have a goal? Okay, Mine was about my children. Yours is to come through childhood and teach others through your candor and humor and truth and all of that. And you're doing it. His was to sing publicly, but he's finishing that from the most recent past life, which ended suddenly. Now, this is even stranger. It ended because, okay, his wiring internally, so electrical system, heart is very sensitive. So that's what happened in the past life. He carries it into this life that's the only reason you need to watch what he does. Because, like, let's say he did a drug like. Like speed. I'm just making that up. I'm saying a what if. Don't go trolling us. But if he was to do something that quickened the body, this would be problematic for him because he's wired that way from the past life. Okay. So there was an issue. He carries that with him. So the music had to come to clear that. It's weird, but I saw that when I was looking at his chart. Okay. And so he has another career. It's about eight years from now. So this is 20, 24. Jump ahead eight years. And I think actually within five, he. He'll stop it. This music. Because as much as he's brilliant at the music, it's not actually what he wants. I don't know if he tells people.

[Bonnie]

Philanthropist at heart.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah. It's not actually what he wants. So when it's not. I'm not saying it's bad. We're not saying that. We're not saying that, Daddy. But it's not what he wants. So he's focused in a different direction. That's what his soul has to do. Very powerful chart led by spirit. The rulership of the Neptune in the first house is placed in the 12th of past life. So the first half of this life is completing that life. You see.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Some people have just one life. Some people have three in one life. Like, there's three distinct karmic breaks. You can see it in hand reading with people, too. I'm not good at that, but palm reading. Yeah. You can see where their life stops and starts. And then it's a whole. Like, they go left. Totally different. He has that in this life. So he will never. You think you're rebellious. He will never be confined by what.

[Bonnie]

Oh, yeah. I say that about. That's why not to cut you off.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Everybody says, oh, Bunny's his handler. I'm like, do you think I could ever handle this man?

[Sloan Bella]

No, no.

[Bonnie]

No way.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, do you get the handler conversation? Yeah, okay. Shut the up.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I'm his. I'm like, you guys must not know mine.

[Sloan Bella]

No, no, I can see it in the chart. I can see a chart. Charts never lie. So when I look at a chart and then I pick it up psychically, I'm like, oh, no up.

[Bonnie]

You're not telling that man. Yeah, Daddy wears the pants. I control the zipper.

[Sloan Bella]

Period. That's it. That's why they're calling you the Handler. You have hands in a zipper.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Literally. But not the way they mean it.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

Because they're so. Yeah. But it's interesting because he will never, never, never. He. Even if everybody says, but you're a musician, he will break that mold and say, but I'm not.

[Bonnie]

I believe it. 100.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I mean he is, but he won't stay stuck.

[Bonnie]

So he will not already broke so many molds in. Within the music industry.

[Sloan Bella]

Totally.

[Bonnie]

So I. I 100 but I mean he won't.

[Sloan Bella]

He'll probably sing for his loved ones and people, but he will not be doing the tour thing because he's being guided in a different way. It's completely spiritual. Completely from behind the scenes. I have to remember this. Yeah. Okay. That's exactly right.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I gotta tell you something too. Okay. So he's so cute. He has a Scorpio south node, Taurus north node, and the south nodes conjunct to Saturn. That's what I was picking up on the ending of the lifetime. Okay, so meaning that life he didn't complete. I'm not saying he died early. I'm just saying for whatever reason, it wasn't finished. And it. There's a desire line. So we came into this life. The goal in life in a chart is to die without having a desire.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

Like whatever. Like let's say you want to buy a yacht and you never did or something stupid like that. Never do that.

[Bonnie]

Just fulfillment and.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, it's correct. And so his. His goal in this life. And it's very important because I'm sure he maybe feels bad about the way he was raised or whatever. Like what happened to him. Just the circumstances. But he had to build himself because his north nodes and Taurus. Never ever will a person with north node and Taurus be handed like gobs of money and stuff unless they put into it themselves.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

That's the karma of that Taurus. Earthbound Monetary money build ink one.

[Bonnie]

These are my Tauruses right here.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And you do look like little Taurus. Wait, what's your birthday? Oh, May 18th. You're early. You're late. Well, you're middle smack dab. Oh, it's so interesting you two would be different, huh?

[Bonnie]

No, they're complete opposite.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, totally different. You kind of have water in you somewhere.

[Bonnie]

She's a. She's a whole Aries. This woman right here is all Aries.

[Sloan Bella]

Aries.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. I did her chart and she's got like seven.

[Sloan Bella]

What's in water?

[Bonnie]

I'm not sure. I'd have to look again. It's been a while.

[Sloan Bella]

I see water. Sorry. I see.

[Bonnie]

Might be a water moon or something. I'm not sure. I'd have to see.

[Sloan Bella]

This one's quirky over here.

[Bonnie]

She's our gym. She's pretty much a Gemini.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, the quirky one.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, she's pretty much a whole Gemini right here. I compare her to our 16 year old daughter.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, there you are, you quirky girl. So it's interesting when you're looking at Mimi's chart and you say J, she's all Aries. That's called a stellium. Four more planets in the same sign. Yeah, so. So Jay has a Capricorn stuff.

[Bonnie]

I know I tell everybody that. Do I not say that? I'm like. I said, my husband's a sag, but.

[Sloan Bella]

He'S really, really Capricorn, which how. Forgive me for not being able to add. What is his age right now?

[Bonnie]

39.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay, then I'm gonna tell you exact timing. So 42 and a half. Half through 45 is when he's out of music and into the next career. Not that he can't do music. I'm saying this is a choice. No one's saying don't.

[Bonnie]

You're not saying anything that my husband hasn't already said. He always says, I don't want to be 45 years old doing music.

[Sloan Bella]

There you go. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Says it all the time.

[Sloan Bella]

And he's not going to. I'm here to prove that.

[Bonnie]

But I'm like. I'm like, lord, please don't let it be politics. Because he's really getting involved in, like, you know, a lot of stuff. And I'm like, I am not meant to be a first lady. Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you are. At least you'll be able to drive. Dress cute, right? Jeez. Some of them dress cute, but you'll be cuter. Yeah, of course. I don't. I don't know if you can wear a crop top to the UA meeting.

[Bonnie]

If anybody's gonna change. Anybody's gonna change. I'm a trailblazer.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I would. I'd wear workout pants, but, you know.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Dress it up with heels like it's an outfit.

[Bonnie]

I love that.

[Sloan Bella]

That's my thing. That's an outfit. Yeah. See, it's. Jay has. This is. This is interesting. It could be politics, But I'll tell you something. It might be in a different way than we're thinking about it. So it might be advocacy, something like politics, but in a different way. If that makes his own version. Yeah, no, it Could. Because he's got. He's got Pluto in the 10th in Scorpio, he's got Saturn in Scorpio, and he's got the Stellium in Capricorn. Capricorn always supersedes after, like, 40s, 50s and 60s. They never. Are not successful later in life unless they choose to, like, take off and not do it. Right. Like, unless they're like, stubborn Capricorns and like you. I'm not doing it.

[Bonnie]

I have Capricorn in my chart.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you do. And so now, the other weirdo thing about him is I. I just. I have to say this. Forgive me, but I don't know about his love life prior to you or anything, and I don't even care, but he was like, a ladies man. Huh?

[Bonnie]

He's always been a man. That's what I try to tell everybody. No, no, he listens to me.

[Sloan Bella]

Women will stalk him, find him. Yeah, it's his. See, people, people. It's his energy. Yes. Because he has Mars in Aquarius. That's friendly. Now, listen, when. When you're a friendly man and you're not molesting somebody.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, he's not creepy.

[Sloan Bella]

Yes, you're friendly. Women take that as flirting.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So they're like, oh, he likes me. And then he has to chase them away because he's like. Because, of course, with the sag rising, he's like, I just want to be their friends, but she, like, wants to marry me. So for you to marry him is super good because he ran a lot.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, well, he running and didn't give me an option. He was like, I want to get married. And I was like, I do not.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

He was like, but that's. You're gonna marry me. And like, he found first to say I love you to me, and I wouldn't say it back to him. And he got mad at me. Like, he was like, what do you mean you don't love me? And I'm like, bro, we just started banging. Like, let's give me. It's been two weeks. Like, what are you talking about?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, exactly. It's. I'm gonna pull up yours now. I have to. I can't keep it all in my head.

[Bonnie]

No, you're good.

[Sloan Bella]

I can sometimes, but not if I'm not studying it day in and day out. Okay, let me just find you. Look, look. Who needs glasses here in a splinting?

[Bonnie]

And not admitting I got my bifocals right here.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, so do you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. I cannot see without them.

[Sloan Bella]

You're too Young for that.

[Bonnie]

No, I'm 44.

[Sloan Bella]

That's super young. Super young. I'd love to be that again. Okay, so, yeah, you look 44.

[Bonnie]

So I love that. No, you really do.

[Sloan Bella]

I love that about you saying that about this. What do I have to pay you to get?

[Bonnie]

Nothing. I was telling them that. That when you weren't even here.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh my God. Yeah. I'm glad that you see it in person and think it's.

[Bonnie]

No, you look even better in person.

[Sloan Bella]

I do?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, that's because I actually.

[Bonnie]

And like.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay, that's good. Cuz I put effort into the makeup.

[Bonnie]

You look gorgeous.

[Sloan Bella]

When I go on my own, it's like I've draggled in. Okay, so you're his Capricorn. Now it's interesting because he had a vision when he saw you. Meaning he saw. Okay. Like he knew there was a knowingness. We call that spiritual knowing, Claire. Cognizance, Clear knowing. Okay, so he knew when he saw you. That's just it. Because you're. When we look at. See, look at you. This is crazy. Okay, so you're really Aquarius. Doubt. But you're Capricorn Rising. Now that. That is what gets you. Okay, so your little cap rising, that part is what sits on his planet. So you do motivate him. So technically you could say that you motivate him, but it's because you can land in his thread of information. And I will say for you, in the next couple of months is going to be a little bit difficult. I know you mentioned the new studio and you're doing another show, but you're going up energetically. Like your chart is lit it. So how do I want to word this for you? Letting go of things that no longer serve you, whatever that means. It could be a pair of like fuzzy boots that you wear because you love them or whatever. Right. Letting go of things that no longer suit you and then kind of mourning the loss of who you were because you weren't quite ready to let go of her. But now you're over here and so you're her, not her, but they're both you. So it's. It's this. Two time frames. Sitting like that be a very powerful aspect. A lot of money. You have millionaires, which is neither here nor there, but you have a lot of aspects. And it's fascinating because your nodes are at 29 degrees. This lifetime you had to learn how to present yourself in public because you were squashed in the last lifetime. I don't know who squashed you. The mother wound is. You carry mother wound with you over several lifetimes. Okay, several. From what I could see. The mother wound is not what you think, though. It's more an issue of not abandoning your own femininity. It's not like the mothers did to you, but whoever were your mothers and this life, that life, and maybe like two back abandoned themselves as women and you chose not to.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, that's definitely did. She was a beautiful woman and just let her whole life go to it. Yeah, see, I hate that you.

[Sloan Bella]

You watch that, though. More than one life. That's why you could not in this life. Okay. Why you could not. And it's so, so funny because your mom's like doing this with her hands.

[Bonnie]

Oh, tell her to knock it off and get the hell out of here. Vanessa.

[Sloan Bella]

She's doing. No. I don't even know her name, but she's doing this. And. And I'm going to say to you, it's funny because, okay, I don't know what area it is that you live in now, but there is a whole bunch of family stuff that you're going to dive into. Family genetics, the way the family worked and part of where you're connected through history in your family, she's saying that it was hidden from her. Your mother did not know her whole background. Your mother was not privy to where she came from. And your mother. This is what they're telling me. It's no excuse for your mother's behavior. They like to come through and try to make amendments over here. But the way that I'm feeling it, and I see her to the end of her life, she suffered. I. I see her kind of sitting like this and wringing her hand. So sh. The. The. Your anxiety is genetic, all of that, but she was hidden from her own life. So she didn't understand that she couldn't feel who she was because it was hidden from her. Was there something like, weird when she was born about. I don't know if you've ever spoken about this. I have not heard you say it, but was she not told her history because she. It's not what it is. So you can go back in your family, but it's not. What it is. Is.

[Bonnie]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know a lot on. On my dad's side. My dad. I don't know like a lot of that family, but my mom told me that I was born into just a. A bunch of Kentucky white trash witches. There was like seven of them and they Were just like all had gifts. They all were like spiritual.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, she. You got from her. But no, there's something hidden about it. There's a tie to your family. And it's. I, forgive me for saying this, it's connected to war back in the time. So when you say warrior, but it's connected to like American war. And I almost want to say in the Appalachians. I have no idea where that is. Really, Because I'm Canadian. Huh.

[Bonnie]

Where is that?

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Appalachia. Yeah. But your family was connected to that. So there's. There's hierarchy in the family unit. And then your mother's side cast out over here. I'm getting that. And she. It makes her nervous that you're gonna find this out because it's gonna kind. Sorry for laughing. It's kind of undermined who you thought you were. Not the witch part. That's probably why you were pushed over here. But it's not what you think. She was hidden. Your mom was hidden. So they didn't tell her the full truth.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Even if they told her truth, it was bits and pieces and not fully.

[Bonnie]

Can I stop finding out about my weird ass family?

[Sloan Bella]

This life.

[Bonnie]

I'm so tired of it. Like, why do I gotta be the gift gatekeeper for all this?

[Sloan Bella]

You know why? Because you're breaking the cycle. And the cycle is not. Not throwing yourself under the bus. In order to be harmonious in any kind of relationship, being true to who you are as a female soul, you had to master that. That's actually what you're doing. And the stark childhood is difficult for you. Now look at that. There's your Neptune and Sag. So you see your husband, exactly who he is.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

100. Now your stellium in Virgo, three or more planets. You have Saturn, Mars and Jupiter. That Mars in Virgo is super hard. Super hard. Because regardless of what Jay is, he shows up like that in your chart. Okay, so doesn't matter the sign that you marry. The energy shows up there. And so you. He's your third marriage, you said. Okay, so first marriage in astrology is the seventh house. So that was a whiny crybaby man who was codependent and needed you to take care of everything. Okay, yeah. So that was the first one.

[Bonnie]

All of them.

[Sloan Bella]

Second marriage is in the ninth house in a chart of a woman. Like if you do Liz Taylor, you're going around the whole chart a couple of times.

[Bonnie]

Like seven marriages, right?

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, exactly. So you have to jump. Is the ninth house. You have Libra in The ninth with Pluto in Libra. Control. Control issues. Dominant, possibly violent, but stalking. Okay. So that's second. Husband number two. Okay. So control over your energy. So that's probably why you split away from him. Husband number three. Big daddy over here. Yeah, yeah. Neptune in sag in the 11th house. Friends first. Okay. Always friends. Even if, let's say something happened and no one wanted to have sex ever again. Friends.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And that's actually extremely important. Friends. And Neptune, musical friends. Musician. So you married a musician. Also higher minded friends. The two of you will go towards where you. Where you need to go, whether you think you will or not.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So it doesn't matter. Like you could say, I'm going to change my life and I'm going to open up a chicken farm and raise chickens. And you're. And you'll still end up where you need to be because of that. And it's a spiritual connection because it's Neptune. So a lot of times you're taking your glasses off, looking at them, going, I didn't know that about him. Like, he, it's. He surprises you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. With his tattoos.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I'm like, when did you get that? He's like, I've had this.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm like, you look like, did you get that? That's hilarious.

[Bonnie]

I'm like you. I always see a new tattoo on him every time.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Where do you see us in like the future? In the next like five years? Jay and I.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. The ne. You're not in music. That's what I'm. I know. Don't. The fans are coming for me now. No, like, shut up. I feel like when I'm looking and I go around in my head, there's a connection to Europe with the two of you. So I'm not sure what that is, but I go around the world and then I go out of the country. So is that what is in mind for you?

[Bonnie]

I'm not sure yet.

[Sloan Bella]

But I mean, I get a connection to Europe out of the country, so I'm pretty sure you're going to do something there. I don't feel you're going to stay in one place or another. So I don't feel there's a settling energy and I feel the karma of the work. I can't see if it's politics, but I do know it's a different career for both of you and I do know you're going at it together. I don't see a divorce, if that's what any crazy people are asking.

[Bonnie]

No, no. We're Not. We've already made a decision that no matter what we go through, we're sticking it out in this lifetime. Like, we are our end game for each other.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I don't see. I don't.

[Bonnie]

Nobody's going to put up with him the way I put up with him, and no one's going to put up with me the way he puts up with me. Like, we just get each other.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It's interesting. In the next five years, I. Do you feel, though, like your career is going to change as well and not. I'm not talking politics with you. You are going through. It'll be the next 26 years of your life, actually a long time.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You're going. You're headed in a different way. And I'm going to go out in a limb and say this. You will actually do this work at one point in your life, period. End of conversation. Don't come for me. But I'm literally hearing that right now. That's what you're supposed to be doing as a healer. You're doing it in this. This capacity, but you're going to figure out a way to do it differently. Like, not in a podcast way is what I'm saying. And actually it could be a group way, but it's a one on one way. And you will do it. It'll come to you. You have guides around you and you have a lot of people. You have like wild lifetimes with very indigenous people. So. Meaning you have that in your background as well. So there's like lineage all the way. You have a lot of people around you, like from many, many. Obviously it's many lifetimes. Because. Because it wouldn't be in the most recent three that you've been that, but you have that. And you've always been like a medicine woman. So I feel like your career is going to go in that direction. There's also something to do with art because it comes across as very colorful to me. So I'm assuming art. But it might not be painting art. It could be a different expression. I'm not picking up on. I don't get any issues with health. I do feel. I do feel, though, that Jay has to look at himself and ground into himself.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Sloan Bella]

Like actually look at himself. What I. By look, I mean understand. He's a human.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And step into it, which I'm sure he knows he is. He has to take his pants off one leg at a time, like we all do.

[Bonnie]

But health wise, how do you see Jay?

[Sloan Bella]

I feel actually like he's pretty robust and consistent with his health. Like, I don't see with him when he passes. It's gonna be sudden. It's not anytime soon that I can see, but I can see like, like out. So he won't be burdened. He has purpose right now. Not to say anyone who passes young doesn't, because they do. But his purpose is still here. So I don't even get that around him. The only thing I would say is his wiring is very sensitive. So anything that he eats, drinks, smokes, ingests, smells like furniture polish, whatever, he has to be careful. And I don't know if he's aware of that because he kind of pushes himself without paying attention, which is typical of Sagittariuses. They will push themselves into the ground even if they're like, oh, my foot's broken. It's okay, I can walk there.

[Bonnie]

He's very aware of it. He has atrial fibrillation.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

Had to have his heart shocked a few times.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah. It's his electrical system. And I. I don't think I get the electric. I can see that. That's from the past life. That shows in his chart.

[Bonnie]

His dad had it. Everybody in his family has it too.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. It's like, I don't feel he's going to pass. What I feel with him, though, he has to be very careful because he has triggers like sensitive food, drink, literally chemicals. Like, he's sensitive and I don't know that he's aware of that.

[Bonnie]

He is. Well, he's starting to be. He's always thought I was crazy because I'm so, like, get my blood work done and only eat a certain diet and all this stuff. And he's always thought I was crazy. And finally this year, he has literally hopped on the same train as me, Even going to the same doctors and trying to one up me and get an even better doctor. Gary Breca.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. And get a better blood test. Does he do that? John does that with me.

[Bonnie]

I'm like, okay. But whatever. So, yeah. So this year he's really, like, taking it in. Do you see or can you feel any more children around us?

[Sloan Bella]

Okay, can I ask you who Catherine is?

[Bonnie]

That is my grandmother.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah. Because I hear the name real strong.

[Bonnie]

That's my mom's mom.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah, the name. Real strong. You liked her, though, right? I mean, you like your mom?

[Bonnie]

I. I love my mom.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I didn't like her.

[Sloan Bella]

I loved her.

[Bonnie]

Yes.

[Sloan Bella]

You know what I'm saying?

[Bonnie]

I didn't really know her.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Because I Feel. I feel like you. I just heard the name real strong. So she's here as well? Because I just heard it.

[Bonnie]

God, if it's not my mom, it's the her, too.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, I think probably. I think probably the secrets you're gonna uncover have to do with her.

[Bonnie]

She was very secretive.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. So I'm. If I'm outing your family, like, outing that, you're gonna find that. That she's gonna come through and try to block it. No, no, no, no. You can't get me. Yeah, I feel. It's interesting. I feel you're a lot like her. Okay. I don't know what I mean by that. I don't think I mean looks. I think something in you is a lot like her. You have. When you ask about kids coming to the family, are you talking about a male child?

[Bonnie]

I wish.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah. There. I. I feel a boy child. Part of your karma with. With fully understanding yourself as a female would be the concept of creation. And what is the thing that human female women can do but to create life? That is the biggest form of creation.

[Bonnie]

I just feel like I've been healing so much trauma with my parents that I finally am ready to be a parent. Like, I've helped raise Bailey since she was 7. And I think that also showed me that, hey, I'm not gonna up a kid's life too badly, you know, That's.

[Sloan Bella]

That's your trauma response. You would never hurt a child. That. That. That wouldn't. You'd be quite the opposite.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You're not going to be perfect, because when they hit teenage years, you're like, shut up.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. You know, that's how I am with Bailey right now. My kid.

[Sloan Bella]

Please.

[Bonnie]

But I feel like I've mastered. Not mastered, but I feel like I can do this, you know, and you can do it. And I just want a little piece of Jay and I together.

[Sloan Bella]

And then the next best thing after that is being a grandparent.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my gosh. Because I'll be at the age to be a grandparent when they start having kids, so that'll be perfect. Correct.

[Sloan Bella]

John was 47 with Jason and 50 with Keith.

[Bonnie]

No.

[Sloan Bella]

And he had kids at 19 and 20, 47 and 50. And now he's with them, with the grandkids. It's the best. He loves them. So it's the best thing. Yeah, no, it's the best thing. You can't beat that.

[Bonnie]

Okay, so I do have a question that we can do on record.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, let's Go.

[Bonnie]

So I. I have been pregnant three times in my life.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, my God. I. Oh, I wish I'd have said that to you. Okay.

[Bonnie]

Okay, go ahead. What were you going to.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I wish I said that to you because you do have a girl on the other side, and you're not going to believe I said that.

[Bonnie]

She follows me everywhere.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you have a little girl on the other side. You told me we're pregnant three times. So no one's going to believe that. But I. I wish I'd have said it. But you do. And she's growing up with you on the other side. Now, let me explain this. So sometimes we have children here and they pass and they reincarnate and they go somewhere else or they go in a different dimension and we don't see them. Miscarriages can happen like that, that sometimes you can be pregnant and the baby comes to experience your physical. And then for whatever reason, their choice are yours. And I'm not sure which it is because it's different for everybody. They go on the other side, but they grow up with you over there. So they stick very close to their parent or parents, depending their entire life. So they are like a certain age, they go through all of the things and celebrate everything with you. That. That's one child I see. Like that female.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. I've always said I have a little girl that follows me. I haven't seen her in a long, long time. But before, like, you know, probably like 10 years ago, she was always. She made herself.

[Sloan Bella]

And it was three years before that that you miscarried?

[Bonnie]

I had. So when I was 13. When I was 16, I got pregnant the first time I had sex and I ended that with an abortion because I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I was a runaway. And then after that, I had 17, 18, 19, three years. Three, four years after I had an ectopic pregnancy.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, that you can't do. Yeah. Because you die.

[Bonnie]

I had two ectopic pregnancies.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, interesting. See, that is from the past life and the confirming that you accept your feminine self inside of you, your femininity. And so you're in this life as a woman, you see? So you experience that from that life. So there's. There's two. You're also merging in this life. So you're becoming stronger woman and you're breaking family patterning and cycling. And that's what you're doing.

[Bonnie]

Wild.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. No, that is what you're doing. So the atopic pregnancy is just to let you know you can get pregnant and you're still a female. Believe it or not, I know we have this war, men against women, that the government makes up anyway.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Souls come and go. We switch colors. That I do know, because I've had past life visions. And I'm a little boy in the south and I am a dark skinned little boy. And I'm in my crib jumping up and down and there's shag carpet on the floor. Don't ask me when that was, but I see like a. Like a thick carpet on the floor and it's weird. And I'm in like a nursery or something. So we do switch male to female back and forth, back.

[Bonnie]

Oh, I definitely carry some male traits, for sure. I, like, sometimes I tell everybody in this life, I'm like, I'm so glad I wasn't born a male because I would have already gone to jail for murder.

[Sloan Bella]

Ditto over here.

[Bonnie]

Like, I swear to God, I'm like, thank God.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I know it's hard, but we go in and out, we carry because we're spirit, which is neither nor we. You just are. And you come in. But in this life, you wanted to ground into female, so that's what you're doing. That also has a lot to do with the way that you choose to show up as a female in a physical sense. So you chose your look as a female. And that's just like I did. Just like you two did. We choose our look and we choose to come into the world to express it in a certain way. Some women are making a statement in a different way, you know, like they're choosing to dress however it is they're dressing or not dressing. So you chose it. So it's to ground into that God for you. So you're doing it like you're saying, I am female this time. There's no confusing it with you.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, no, I'm all confusing.

[Bonnie]

I'm all woman, baby.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

So I wanted to ask you. I know everybody asks you about, like, the P. Diddies, the OJ Simpsons, the. All that jazz and stuff like that.

[Sloan Bella]

And I. O.J.

[Bonnie]

I know.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Like, sorry, Carol knows about that dude. But I want to know about, like, a couple other.

[Sloan Bella]

Throw them at me.

[Bonnie]

Okay. Princess Diana.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, my gosh. Princess.

[Bonnie]

I feel such a connection with her.

[Sloan Bella]

She was very publicly. She had a. What that is, is. That's a very big aura that comes out because she was a public person. So she has to be able to connect with the public. One would hope she was one of the first videos I did on my channel, she was very much. And I. I can't remember everything I said, but she's the one that showed me that they trafficked children. She 100 knew about it. It. I don't feel she's reincarnated. I know some people think she has. I feel like she's in a dimension where she's actually doing work to help people understand that here now, where I got confused with it because I liked Princess Diana. But then I don't like what these people do because to be born into that family, there's a certain ritual that goes on with those people. I'm Canada. I grew up around the Queen, you know. Yeah, we hear our nonsense over there. There. Queen Lizard. Okay. I said it. I had to say.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, she. Something was off about her.

[Sloan Bella]

Very off. Yeah. But Princess Diana, Charles, I can't. He's the evil. I. Thank you.

[Bonnie]

Yes.

[Sloan Bella]

All the indigenous kids in Canada, they flew over to Cam Loops and they just found the bodies this year. When I used to talk about it as a kid, I was called crazy. And called crazy before COVID for saying it. I said that Queen took those kids and did whatever she did. Did. And they found those bodies from those schools. They did find them in 2022, I think, or 2021, whatever it was. But you can look it up.

[Bonnie]

Prince Philip. I've always gotten evil vibes from him. Just demonic.

[Sloan Bella]

They are demonic. They sell out. Who? Okay, just think about it. We are free souls, and we come into this life and we have these people that say they're royalty. Why? The. What? I'm sorry. Just because I'm born here, in captivity, I actually believe that. In captivity to them. Why do I have to listen to you? They steal everyone's money. They don't do anything. I mean, why do I care what they do? Who are they? Yeah, you know, I mean, they still. The Queen. The Queen of England still owns all the land in Canada. We have, like, leases on our property, allegedly, according to paperwork. Like, no one knows that, but if you go research it.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

She made sure. Because we're still in the British. I'm like. No, I hated. I was kicked out of school for refusing to sing God Save the Queen. Oh, eighth grade. Boom. Out. Yeah, I hated her.

[Bonnie]

Her? Yeah. Nothing. Ever. I've never seen her really? Just like. I don't know. You can just look at people and. And tell if, like, their soul is, like, glittery.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. No, no, no, she's not. But it's indoctrination. She did a Lot of interesting things in her life as far as, like the history and things that she did.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

But it's for a reason. Now, Princess D showed me, specifically showed me maps. And I did not know this. I'm talking in 2018. I did the video with her November. She talked about the children being trafficked. Perfect. Always brown skinned babies. And she's the one that said that. That's why I said it. I had no idea. So she's somewhere helping. I think actually helping expose it. Because I had no. And you know how I got her. I didn't care to channel her or not. She wasn't on my list. I was going through Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. That was on my list.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

But I was hiking with this guy and he was doing makeup for her best friend.

[Bonnie]

Oh, wow.

[Sloan Bella]

And so he was talking about her and it flipped into my head. And then I went home and thought, I'll do a video on her. You know, it was here nor there. It's just who I feel like doing. And maybe I get it right, maybe I don't. But she was very invested in that. And she actually, honestly, she was. Okay, I'm gonna say the word sacrifice, but she didn't. Oh, God, please. But she was taken out. Yeah, absolutely. She was absolutely murdered. And I remember, I remember going to Pavilions in Burbank the day she died. I remember hearing it on the radio going, what? It just didn't sit right. And I mean, mean, it was a lie. And they set the driver up too. They set everybody up like it was a payoff. The other thing that I got from her, which I don't think I've read anywhere, but it was on the video I did. Is that Dodie El Fayed's father? So Muhammad Al Fayed, Herod's owner, who she was engaged to at the time, he was actually there. I didn't know this, but when I channeled her, he was actually there when she was tested. What kind of people look up your hoohah to test if you. Here, get out of here. Yeah, but you know. Oh, they're just British, I heard. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's abuse.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Hello. But his father was there. So somehow some way, there was a deal made with them back then. And I think they crossed him out of it. And that's why he obviously, his son died. I understand that pain, but he was so flipped out because I don't think he thought it was going to happen because he had their word is what I got from that video.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

So they Double crossed him too. And I don't think I ever heard him say he was there. But I saw him when I was doing that, saw the Queen mother, I saw Diana's father, I saw the Queen and I saw Dodie's father like in just when I was like focusing on it.

[Bonnie]

Do you think Charles is going to cross over soon?

[Sloan Bella]

I can't believe he hasn't. I mean, I can't believe that that's him in that body. I can't believe that Kate is missing. Yeah, she's missing. Like I don't care what they say, she's not there.

[Bonnie]

I feel even though she just did a video, she just dropped a video talking about how she has cancer.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. Okay. I'm a basketball player.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm also six foot five.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Can't you tell? Yeah. You know, I'm huge. No, I don't, I, no, I, I actually problem is when you play with gangsters, they take you out like gangsters. So I'm just gonna word it. So they're spiritual gangsters in a way and not in a good way way. They are. It's the same as MS.13. They're just like that. But they put on a different hat and call themselves monarchy.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

I think they took her out. I can't prove it. I sound crazy, but that's what I think. And I don't think I, I said first when Charles got in, he wasn't going to make it. Like, I mean, is that even him or are they putting a corpse up there?

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I mean he, the dude looks like he has got two legs in the coffin already.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, he does. His hands freak me out. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I. Eyes.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

If you just look at his eyes, they're weird.

[Sloan Bella]

It's very weird and I'm not gonna say it. Shut up.

[Bonnie]

Say it.

[Sloan Bella]

It's wife Camilla.

[Bonnie]

The side.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I know. Apparently they had a kid and I kind of feel like that's true. I feel like she had a child. Like they say she had a child and I feel like she did and gave it up for adoption. Maybe some guy in Australia says he is now. He could be crazy.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Could be cray cray. But I kind of feel like that might be his attachment to her.

[Bonnie]

Because when you had some weird attachment.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. When you have a baby though, with somebody and let's say you have to give it up. How do you not think about that?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You know, but I don't like her shenanigans and games.

[Bonnie]

So I've never liked her. I think any woman that can do what she did to horrific and then marry into the family and expect everybody to call her the queen is just insane. Yeah. All right, so moving on from them. Yeah. Marilyn Monroe.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, God, I do have a Marilyn Monroe. Okay, do you? I do. Years ago I wrote something when I was doing, you know, blogs on like, My Space.

[Bonnie]

I used to have a blog.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, that's how I started out.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay, there you go.

[Bonnie]

Confessions of a White Trash Wife.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, nice. Yeah, you're not white trash, but nice.

[Bonnie]

I mean, I came from it.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, so they say. But is anybody trash? Not really. We're all. We're all gods, I feel, you know, even those that are acting nonsense. Anyway, I. I was thinking about Marilyn Monroe. Who doesn't love Marilyn? Love Marilyn.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And yes, they murdered her. I've been saying that since I was 10. I don't care. They did.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And it's obvious. No one swallows 50 pills without water.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

If you've ever tried to swallow aspirin. Not 50 of them.

[Bonnie]

I can. I'll choke.

[Sloan Bella]

No, they hot shotted her, obviously, in my opinion. Okay. So I was channeling and I wrote this thing and people thought I was talking about myself. I wasn't. I said I felt like Marilyn was born in. Again in Canada. Okay. Like for. For real. And I felt like she was in entertainment. And I said something like I felt like she was a musician and she had had two kids or I said entertainment, possibly music, something. I can't remember exactly what I said. So this woman reaches out to me. I said, she's incarnated back down. It's hard because psychics can feel them on the other side and here, because we are both here and there. So like when someone dies here, we don't physically see them, but they are here and there. So part of them is here. We only bring a part down with us and reside over there. So they say. Anyway, that's how I feel about it. But. But this woman calls me and she's like, I'm Marilyn. And I'm like, oh God, the crazies are out. Anyway, her name was is Sherry Lee Laird. She was born in Scotland and actually interviewed for being Marilyn Monroe. She had the dreams, the memories, the visions. She's a musician from Toronto. She's slightly younger than me, like born in 67, I think, and has two kids. And she. I mean, they say it's her, and when you look at the research, it looks like it's her. But I felt Marilyn had reincarnated back almost immediately.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, she's Like, I'm coming back.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I, I felt like that. Well, they took her out. That's a problem with murder. You get murdered and they want to come back because they have to complete. So they either have to wait however many life cycles you may, you know, I may die, you may die. We might not choose to come back in with whoever we're with now. We might go somewhere else. We always say we will, but when we get over there, we make stupid decisions, like being kidnapped over here, but.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sloan Bella]

Like who chooses certain things and, and, and I think our lives are very faded as opposed to free will. We have free will and how we respond, but nothing about what happens to us is free will. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because if somebody starts a war over there and your family lives over there that they weren't supposed to start because of their free will, now I'm in the midst of their free will. So now I'm on a different path, you see? So I don't quite understand it, and I don't pretend to understand it, and I don't have all the answers. But with Marilyn, I think she incarnated back and I really do believe that woman is her. Like, when I look at her, I get the distinct feeling that it is her.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

So you should look her up.

[Bonnie]

I will.

[Sloan Bella]

I will.

[Bonnie]

Definitely.

[Sloan Bella]

It's an interesting thing. I mean, we all want to run around and look like different versions of Marilyn, don't we?

[Bonnie]

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, yeah, because she's the cutest. Well, Sloane, is there anything you want to promote while you're here? And.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, my God, just the fact that I got dressed and showered. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

What do you do? Do you have any projects?

[Sloan Bella]

I do. I, I. Well, they're projects. I have to get a team. My young friend says I need a team.

[Bonnie]

You have to. You got to get people who believe in you.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, I have to have a team because it's so hard to even answer all the emails. But I'm back to my client. I still read clients day in and day out. One thing I would like to say on your podcast, because more people will listen, my calendar is not booked out for a year. I only book two weeks at a time because I don't want to be obligated to the reading if I change my mind because I'm ADD right as I'm staring at the mic cross eyed, but I'm already, I'm add, so people always go, oh, you're booked for a year. No, I'm not. I would never do that. That's ridiculous.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

I mean, I know people do it. They say they're sold. I refuse to let my calendar get like that.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, that would be.

[Sloan Bella]

I. I couldn't. Can you imagine?

[Bonnie]

No.

[Sloan Bella]

No.

[Bonnie]

I don't even. Like, I have to plan a week in advance.

[Sloan Bella]

That's it. Because you could change. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

I tell my team. I'm like, talk to me. Let's get through this. And talk to me about the next week after we.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, because I can't do it. And if I have to set up readings and then you cancel and I have to send your money back, back then. Six months. What? No, but the projects I hope to start this year, I am fit. I did finish my astrology book, Beginner Astrology, so I'll be doing the courses with that, and I have to film those videos when I get back. That's what I'm doing to correspond with the book. It's like a astrology for dummies, for lack of a better word.

[Bonnie]

But I love that people need it. Do you know how many people ask me all the time how to read a bird chart? Birth chart, and I'm like, I. That I'm not your girl.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Sloan's your girl, not your girl.

[Sloan Bella]

Well, this book tells you step by step, like, what is your sun, moon and rising? Because a lot of people don't even know how to find that. I get that all the time. And it's your birth time. And no, you can't just make up a time to make your. I'm like, stop that. I don't know my time. But get out of here. No. So you can do sun on the ascendant, and you can rectify a chart, but that's a lot of skill. So you have to really want to. And you have to do it by the deaths of people and injuries and illness and moves and things like that, and then figure out what was happening. So you work backwards, and there's only very few practitioners that can do that, honestly, you know, like that. But anyway, that's coming out, and I want to start. This is just. My goal in the next year is to start my grief project, which is connecting with all of the people whose children have passed. But I want to do it from the perspective of the children. Okay. The siblings that are left behind and the backstories of the people and how you handle the grief. Grief. Because I know I handled it so much differently even than John. I'm. I was very. I was very public with Keith. It was the most public thing I've ever done. I couldn't shut up. It was weird. Other people get drunk and high. Other people shut right down and never come out of their house.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

You know, so everybody handles it different. And I also really want to tell people what to say to people because they say dumb it, Like. And I'll just say this now. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Well, I can't handle this. So, you know, like, don't say that.

[Bonnie]

To somebody because grieving or just lost their child.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah, you can't. Who can? Hand let's.

[Bonnie]

It's like somebody having a panic attack and telling them to calm down.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, yeah. You can't. You can't calm down.

[Bonnie]

Like, what do you mean? I'd love to.

[Sloan Bella]

I'd love to.

[Bonnie]

Teach me how.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I can't. I think I'm gonna die and you poison me and then in my underwear. Going to the hospital. Running for mad dash.

[Bonnie]

Exactly.

[Sloan Bella]

But that's. That's one of the projects, so I just call it my grief project. And I've met so many people that are interested, so that's. And just doing my work. I mean, you know, just doing my. I still read people day in and day out, like usual. It's just like a hairdresser. I get up and go to work and just cut hair in a different way.

[Bonnie]

Where can people book with you?

[Sloan Bella]

When my calendar's open, they can. They book on my website, Sloan, Bella.com, which we are redoing right now because it keeps crashing because the fraudsters are out. You know how they try to fraud in on your.

[Bonnie]

Well, maybe not had that done yet, but.

[Sloan Bella]

Okay. Yeah, they try to buy like $20,000 worth of something and then they jam it with little fake credit cards and then it. Yeah, they do it all the time. They do it to my side all the time. Yeah. So they. All the. All the companies that take the money have checks and balances, so it ends up shutting your website down, but they still do it like it. They'll try it 160 times in a row.

[Bonnie]

That's crazy.

[Sloan Bella]

Who does that? Like, who's got that kind of time? Yeah, that's why it's bots, I think it's bots, they say. But yeah, that's what I'm doing. That's the project I'm doing. Yes.

[Bonnie]

Sloan, I am so happy that we got.

[Sloan Bella]

I am here. So happy.

[Bonnie]

That was like, what, a two and a half hour podcast?

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How great.

[Bonnie]

We might have to do part one and two.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Oh, My goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I'm so happy to meet you. It was the best ever.

[Bonnie]

Dude, I could sit here and talk to you for hours. And I told my husband last night, I said, this woman is going to be a lifelong friend.

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, good. I'm glad. Yeah, I'm so glad. I'm so glad, because I was so excited. My PR girl, she was like, here's a list of what? What do you want to do? Well, actually, she tracked me down and bugged me. I didn't bug her. She was bugging me. You heard that, right? Mary. She was bugging.

[Bonnie]

Yeah. And Mary bug with her 10. 10 text messages a day.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

And voice messages.

[Sloan Bella]

She was bugging me, and I'm like. Like, I don't want to do anything. I want to go hiking, and that's it. And then I looked at the list, and then yours was there. I'm like, okay, if you can get me on Bunny, I'll do it. That's how she won me over. Like, I don't care. This is not. Then she called me, and she's like, crazy, I just got you on Bunny. I'm like, shut the door.

[Bonnie]

I was like. She was like, would you have Sloane Bell on the podcast? I said I would. Absolutely.

[Sloan Bella]

Love. Oh, it was so great.

[Bonnie]

I was like, I'm a huge fan.

[Sloan Bella]

I was so excited. I was like, I'm so excited. And. And so now Mary's part of my team. She worked her way in, but, yeah, it was so great. Yeah, she sent out of everybody. She's like, this one. I'm this one.

[Bonnie]

Oh, I appreciate you so much.

[Sloan Bella]

You remind me of just things that I experienced, and you use your. Your experience for good, which I freaking love. And you're not ashamed of what you did. I have fought that. Like, people are like, lower your voice. You have kids. I'm like, my kids know who the hell I am. How do you think they don't know who I am? You know that everybody knows who I am. And so I was just so excited.

[Bonnie]

A. I'm happy. Thank you so much, Sloan. And why don't you shout out your IG and your tik tok and everything?

[Sloan Bella]

Oh, yeah, it's all under at Sloan Bella. Any other version of my name is not me. Numbers in front of it underscore. You know, I don't ask for money. Just so we're very clear. Do not do that. You do not have a curse on you. No one can take it off with money if you do.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sloan Bella]

It's a lifelong thing. And you have to do it through your actions. You know, karmic. Yes, it's karmic. If it's a curse. It's family patterning through generational behaviors. You have to choose to change the behavior.

[Bonnie]

Wow.

[Sloan Bella]

No one's throwing. Do you think that Orange Man Bad would be alive if curses worked? No. Right? Or Bush or even Obama? Any of them. Anybody. Whoever pick one, they would not be alive.

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Do you know how many people are out spell casting against those people all day long?

[Bonnie]

Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

Hundreds of thousands. I'm sure. There's an underground community out there doing it.

[Bonnie]

Sure. Absolutely.

[Sloan Bella]

So they're not really that effective. You can do it, but it's manipulation of energy. So it always goes back to you tenfold. Oh, my God.

[Bonnie]

That's why I always say return to sender.

[Sloan Bella]

That's what I do. I give it to God. I actually have. Because my temper's so bad sometimes times because I'm a little bit masculine too.

[Bonnie]

So I'm the same way. I resort to anger. That's why.

[Sloan Bella]

Yeah. I go right to anger before love anything. No anger. I punched you out. My reaction is fierce. Like that. Like, just like.

[Bonnie]

Ah. Yeah.

[Sloan Bella]

And. But I give it to God, I'm saying, please, I can't handle this, so please take it back wherever it came from. I love that. Yeah. That's what I do.

[Bonnie]

Well, you're gonna have to come back and visit me.

[Sloan Bella]

I'm gonna come back and visit you. It's gonna be so fun. Yeah.

[Bonnie]

Thank you so much.

[Sloan Bella]

Thank you for having me.

[Bonnie]

And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Don Blonde. I will see you guys next week.

[Sloan Bella]

Week. Bye.