Throwback Thursday: MGK - Road to Forgiveness

Summary

Episode Summary: Dumb Blonde - "Throwback Thursday: MGK - Road to Forgiveness"

In this emotionally charged episode of the Dumb Blonde podcast, host Bunnie XO engages in a deep and revealing conversation with renowned artist Machine Gun Kelly (MGK). Titled "Road to Forgiveness," the episode delves into MGK's tumultuous upbringing, his struggles with family dynamics, mental health challenges, sobriety journey, and his transformative career transitions. Through candid discussions and heartfelt anecdotes, MGK offers listeners an intimate glimpse into his path toward healing and self-discovery.

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1. Childhood and Family Dynamics

MGK opens up about his complex relationship with his parents, particularly highlighting the profound impact his father's struggles had on his own development.

• Generational Trauma: MGK discusses the "generational curse" within his family, expressing a desire to break the cycle of men dying alone. He reflects, "I’m the seventh generation, which means that I should be able to break the curse" ([14:45]).

• Father-Son Relationship: The artist recounts traumatic events from his childhood, including his father's battle with depression and a horrifying incident when MGK was nine years old. "My father was keeping me from my mother for years to hurt her... I just remember finding that I always used to get so mad at him" ([09:24]).

• Mother Reconnection: MGK speaks about reconnecting with his mother later in life, expressing regret for the lost years. "My mom and I actually have reconnected in a really intense way in the past three or four years" ([11:44]).

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2. Friendships and Personal Relationships

The conversation shifts to MGK's close relationships, particularly his bond with his friend Jelly and his partner Megan.

• Friendship with Jelly: MGK highlights the unwavering support from Jelly, describing him as a "big brother." "Jelly's one of the few people who, you know, rides for me publicly" ([105:16]).

• Relationship with Megan: MGK and Megan discuss their deep connection and how it has been a source of strength in his sobriety journey. "I just love that I'm able to start to be comfortable enough to show people who I am" ([112:03]).

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3. Career and Genre Evolution

MGK reflects on his musical journey, including his shift from rap to pop-punk and beyond.

• Genre Transitions: He candidly shares his experiences transitioning between genres, addressing the challenges of changing musical styles. "I'm doing whatever the fuck I feel like doing... nothing I've done will be repeated, so everything will be new" ([83:42]).

• Album Reception: Despite facing criticism, MGK emphasizes the commercial success of his work. "Hotel Diablo is severely underappreciated... I think you’ve proven yourself" ([60:53]).

• Influence and Inspiration: MGK acknowledges the importance of supporting fellow artists and breaking down industry barriers. "Music brings people together" ([102:17]).

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4. Sobriety and Mental Health

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to MGK's journey toward sobriety and managing his mental health.

• Sobriety Milestones: MGK discusses his commitment to staying sober since August of the previous year and the challenges that come with it. "I’m completely sober from everything... I haven't drank since last August" ([105:22]).

• Mental Health Struggles: He opens up about battling Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and the importance of therapy in his healing process. "I've been able to have an awareness of what my condition is and have made peace with it" ([107:02]).

• Support Systems: MGK credits his friendships and relationships as crucial to his recovery. "The group of friends that I have, they’ve been the same group since I came in... met with a lot of psychiatrists" ([66:48]).

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5. Insights and Philosophical Reflections

MGK shares profound insights on forgiveness, self-acceptance, and living authentically.

• Forgiveness and Self-Love: Emphasizing the power of self-forgiveness, MGK states, "I thank God that I have the ability to punish myself today so that I can forgive myself tomorrow" ([43:34]).

• Breaking Bonds: He speaks about breaking free from toxic cycles and the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences. "All of the exes and friends that have been with me through this whole ride... it speaks volumes of your character" ([103:09]).

• Authenticity in Art: MGK underscores the significance of creating from the heart rather than for validation. "Art wins and heart wins, and I got both" ([116:56]).

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6. Moving Forward

In concluding the episode, MGK touches on his future endeavors and continuing personal growth.

• Future Projects: He expresses excitement about exploring various musical genres and staying true to his creative instincts. "I'm doing whatever the fuck I feel like doing... the next era is coming" ([115:33]).

• Legacy and Impact: MGK reflects on how he wants to be remembered, focusing on the emotional connections he's formed rather than just his artistic accomplishments. "All I want is to get out there and talk and show people who I am" ([112:03]).

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Notable Quotes

• On Breaking Generational Curses:

  "I’m the seventh generation, which means that I should be able to break the curse." – Machine Gun Kelly ([14:45])

• On Forgiveness:

  "I thank God that I have the ability to punish myself today so that I can forgive myself tomorrow." – Machine Gun Kelly ([43:34])

• On Sobriety:

  "I’m completely sober from everything... I haven't drank since last August." – Machine Gun Kelly ([105:22])

• On Authenticity:

  "Art wins and heart wins, and I got both." – Machine Gun Kelly ([116:56])

• On Relationships and Support:

  "Jelly's one of the few people who, you know, rides for me publicly." – Machine Gun Kelly ([105:16])

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Conclusion

This episode of Dumb Blonde offers a heartfelt exploration of Machine Gun Kelly's life beyond his music persona. Through vulnerability and introspection, MGK provides listeners with valuable lessons on overcoming adversity, the importance of meaningful relationships, and the courage to pursue one's true passions. Bunnie XO skillfully navigates the conversation, ensuring that the discussion remains both engaging and deeply personal, making it a compelling listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Bunny XO]

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[Bunny's Co-host]

Bunny xo, Bunny xo.

[Bunny XO]

Is this thing on?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Hi, babies.

[Bunny XO]

Welcome back to season eight.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Today I have a triple threat. I mean, I don't even know. I. I think he might be a quadrupled threat, but this man needs no introduction. Mr. MGK in the house, baby.

[Bunny XO]

Hi, everybody.

[Bunny's Co-host]

You had a day.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I've had. Yeah, it's been a gnarly 96 hours for sure.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I feel like you don't ever stop, though.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Nah. This was my first four day music video shoot. Which you were in.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Cool.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And thank you for having us.

[Bunny XO]

Let's talk about it.

[Bunny's Co-host]

What.

[Bunny XO]

What was.

[Bunny's Co-host]

What was the video shoot about?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, it was visually inspired. By beyond the Pines, I think story wise as well. The first 20 minutes anyway.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, if you guys are gonna watch. If you're gonna watch beyond the Pine, don't watch any more than 30 after Ryan Gosling has his moment. Don't watch it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It is. It's quite the thrill kill.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, it's like a thrill and then.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It'S just like, what happens? And you're like, wait a minute, he's on every poster. This movie has to be about him. Yeah, that was kind of a trip. But aesthetically that I love riding motorcycles. I think telling the story of lower middle class, struggling family and relationship is really what I grew up seeing. So it was something that felt right to do on a song that everyone keeps telling me is a hit. So I think the glamorous approach was obvious and I kind of went the other way and kept it g. Like how me and Jelly's background is.

[Bunny's Co-host]

You guys went back to your roots, I think.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Absolutely. I think, like, you know, we repped for, you know, when you get it, when you are exploring yourself in front of all these cameras and in the industry. Sorry, guys.

[Bunny's Co-host]

These are some beautiful cats, by the way. Yeah, these are some awesome cats that just walked in. They're like dad's home.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

But when you're exploring yourself in front of the cameras and, you know you're seeing success and, you know, you obviously idolize people and lifestyles and things, you kind of, you know, you're. You're doing your own outfit changes metaphorically, towards what you think would look cool with this era or what would look cool with that era in this era. For me, after all, the glitz and glam of the last run that I've had is just back to my roots, man. I went all the way to the top and I am just like, all right, I've seen it.

[Bunny XO]

I'm so excited.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm out.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I'm so excited to deep dive all of this with you.

[Bunny XO]

So circling back to the video, though.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So the song is for Lonely Roads, which my husband is going to be featuring on. And that's out right now.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yes.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Because when. By the time this drops, it's going to be out.

[Bunny XO]

So you guys need to go listen to it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And when do you think the music video is going to drop? Is it going to drop before.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I think the music video will be out by the time this is out. Yes.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So you guys got to go watch it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Because it's going to be awesome.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I feel really. I don't really know what to do with my Hands. Is it cool if I want to cigarette?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, of course. I would sit back. You know, this is your house, so I'm all telling you what to do on your couch.

[Bunny XO]

So you have talked a lot about.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Your childhood, and I just kind of want to go back in time a little bit with you on that. Can we speak on your childhood a little bit?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, if I've spoken on my childhood and, you know, if you're reflecting on past interviews, I don't really know how far they go back, but some of them was a very insecure. Excuse me, insecure with speaking on just almost any interview I had done in which I covered myself with an egoic exoskeleton. But as far as my childhood, some of that I've spoken on in a way that I was still just very confused and very angry. And so I do not stand by everything that I said about the people in my life and my childhood because they deserve forgiveness and something different than the way that I may have just, you know. So anyway, proceed.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That actually kind of made me want to tear up because anybody that's ever. Let me get ahold of myself here. Anybody that's ever dealt with childhood trauma has gone through a time in their life where they were just so angry that they've said so many things about the people that were in their life, that until you get to a breakthrough and you come. I don't want to say come out of the darkness, because I feel like we're always sort of going to have one foot in. But when you get to a point where you can look at them with love or forgiveness is huge.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And they're just big kids. Like, as a parent, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing every single day of my life. As a parent, you're just figuring it out constantly, but hopefully doing it with love.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Absolutely.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And sometimes, like in my situation with my father, he was so tormented from some of the most insane shit that I could imagine a kid could go through that he had to figure it out, but with almost every possible bad circumstance going against him, too. So it's almost like the expectations are too high because we think that they're just that, that they know everything because we grew up looking up at them. We're all just lost and trying to figure it out.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I feel like you've been fighting since you came out of the womb. I'm just looking down at my notes here, but it says, you know, you. You were born with your umbilical cord wrapped around your neck, correct?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So, I mean, you were already fighting the minute that you came out. Yeah. When you were born, you had your mom and your dad. I don't ever really hear you talk about your mom a lot. And a lot of the stuff that I got from your childhood I didn't take from interviews. I kind of. If you listen to your music, you tell a story, Right. You speak a lot about your life in music. And I think that anybody that is, you know, a fan of yours or a listener of yours would know that.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, I saved a lot of my interview moments for my lyrics. So I think a lot of my childhood is represented in my songs. My mom and I actually have reconnected in a really intense way in the past three or four years. You know, that side of my family is. They're all from Norway. They're extremely Norwegian. So very stoic, you know. So the emotional side of things I get from my father, who was very. You know, he wore everything on his sleeve, right? So, like, his depression was very obvious. His need for love was very, you know, like, I was. I wish. I wish I could have told him before he died that I was really inspired by how emotional he was and, like, how. I thought that was really cool in hindsight, because I am very emotional as well, probably because everything on my chart is so Pisces. But, yeah, I was saying that on July 5, it's the same day Hotel Diablo came out, but that's also the day he died. And it trips me out because on the album I said, doctors said my dad won't be here a year from now. And then a year to the date he died. And then on that date this year, I was outside and I was doing a ritual for him just to try and see if I could channel any. If I could hear him at all. But I did tell him what I just said. Sorry if I'm very long winded. I'm pretty awkward as a human, and so I don't really know what I'm saying, if anyone gives a fuck. So maybe I'll just move on. What's the next question?

[Bunny's Co-host]

You don't have to apologize, though. It's actually beautiful what you say, and it's so real. And I think people need to hear what you have to say because there's a lot of people who are working through, including myself. I just lost my dad last month. And I know exactly what you're going through with, you know, a father who was absent, you know, in certain things. And, like, you know, just. We're all dealing with childhood Trauma. But your dad. Actually, it says that your dad was tried at 9 years old for his own father's death.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Can we talk about that?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I think so. That's interesting that you. Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That has to contribute to how he was as a father to you, because it seems like it was almost generational, like, passed down.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. Every medium that I've spoke to or see or that I spoke to says there's a generational curse on all the men in my family, that they will die alone. And they've all died alone. I'm the seventh generation, which means that I should be able to break the curse. And I was born on the 22nd, which is a master number. And the numerology behind mine is a curse breaker. So I do hope in this lifetime that I master my best self and what I'm supposed to do. It's a very difficult road that I'm on right now with that. And my father childhood journey definitely bled into mine because we. We shared the same bed. The same bed for years. And that was, you know, the. The body, especially if you're intuitive or born intuitive, your body receives the energy from all around you. So, you know, those years that my dad slept depressed, I took on all that. And I just remember finding that I always used to get so mad at him when I was a kid, because if I scared him or he heard a loud boom or a loud noise, he would freak out. Like, gnarly freak out. And I would be like, you're supposed to be. Like, you're supposed to be a man, dude. Like, why are you acting like this? And I would. We would. You know, it just. It made me hate him. And then you sit there and you think about a kid who was on trial at nine years old for the murder of his father, and knowing that the police came and found the shotgun underneath the bed. And the story that was told to me was always that, you know, their dad dropped the gun and his head essentially blew off. And so that all happened in the room with my dad at 9 years old. And so him and my grandmother were tried for the murder. They were both acquitted. I had a very interesting talk with him on his deathbed about that moment, which I think I'll leave that between me and my father. You know, that led to a lot of, like, you know, he had split personality, and, you know, schizophrenia runs really heavy in my. In that side of the family. So a lot of things, man, that I've taken on, and I think I've projected myself to be somebody who has the stamina to endure all of these things that come with fame and criticism and hate. Because I fought back with all those traumas by becoming what I always wanted my dad to be, which was, like, tough and, you know, shake everything off and just fight anyone who, you know, comes at you. I never understood why he was so closed. But, dude, I'm tired and I'm really shy. Fucked up kid. And internally and really broken, and I'm just now fixing myself, and I don't have the energy to be the image that I was, because I'm also kind of sick of being on an island alone where no one is outside of my fans, you know, my fans who really can read the music and read into the music. Sorry. But as far as, like, public Persona, I'm really, really sick of being what they think I am. So I don't really know how I got onto that from my dad's story, but I don't know how you found that either. That's a very, like. That was a very. Quite the piece of information to stumble upon.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I just did a little bit of research, and I just, you know, I try to figure out what makes people tick and who they are. And, you know, when I first met you, I even told Jay I was like, this is a sweet boy that just has a wallop. Something hurt him. And I just wanted to kind of, you know, and I'm sorry if I interfered or anything like that with. With your process that's going on, but I just kind of wanted to figure out, like, you know, where is this hurt coming from? And, you know, I just. I like to just go deep and figure out, you know.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, well, it's the truth, and I don't run from the truth. You know, my father was on trial for murder at nine years old. Like, I. That I watched every day. And, you know, my mom, who's. Who's such a sweet woman who I was molded to be so mad at.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Molded by your dad?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yes.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Okay. When did she leave?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

At nine.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Okay.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So both my dad and I had interesting nine or nine or ten years. It was nine or ten, and it wasn't. And it wasn't leave. Also. I like. I mean, she left, but also my father was hard to deal with. Dude was gnarly, you know, like, super gnarly.

[Bunny's Co-host]

When was your dad's birthday? What sign was he?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

December 30th.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Capricorn.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And so I, you know, he would, like the only word. I didn't hear the word mom. During my whole teenage years, all I heard was Horror. And my mom is like the sweetest woman ever. And she's a scientist and she's so smart and she's. And, you know, she's beautiful and she, you know, I really missed her. And I really regret missing all those years because of who I was. You know, those years are really important. You know, people. People shape you, no matter how much you try to be your own.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Absolutely.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So she helped me, you know, to realize that. That all those things that happened, especially just like that, like, you can isolate just that. I mean, there's a lot of shit with my family, you know, like, my dad lost his. His brother. My dad has a twin. They were triplets. The triplet died at birth. And if you just isolate that trial. My dad, after that, like I said, every loud noise, he would react like, because he, you know, but he became. Have you ever seen American Psycho?

[Bunny's Co-host]

I haven't seen it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, Christian Bale's character.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, yes. I'm so sorry.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Everything that he does is black or white, right? There's no gray area. Every piece of clothing is folded perfectly. It's ironed.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I feel like he had a little bit of autism.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

The. He would shave every morning. There was. There was. His isms, like, were so definitive. And that's how my father was. Like, every piece of clothing was like this. He was obsessed with suspenders. And so, you know, it was the same thing. Like, dude, there was so many things that I did wrong that my dad would always, like, put in check. But I remember what. Every time I held my pen like this, Boom. That's lazy. Hold your pen. You hold your pen like this. And it's just. Everything was that, like. I remember the first time I got arrested. When we got out, he sat us down and it was the Bible, you know, like, it's just. Yeah. Like, everything was very. There was no. Oh, yeah, you can do it your way. Like, what's. What's your things that you want to do, Right?

[Bunny's Co-host]

It sounded like he might have had a little bit of, like, severe ocd. Also, there's a song that you say my heart was broke, like my ribs as a kid when me and my father fought. Is that a true story? Like, did your dad break your ribs?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. Well, and vice versa. It was more so his ribs than my ribs. Both of us got fucked up. I remember that specific fight was in our kitchen in Cleveland, and we were uber twinning because both of us had just big ass black and purple right here.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So you guys were just in your living room, just kitchen going.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Kitchen going at It, Yeah, that was pretty common, though. And I was a really. I acted out a lot. Like, once I got to the point where I could fight back, I was just on it, you know. But. But yeah, and I was angry. And I also. My dream was so. It was so potent, like, nothing could stop my dream. I was going to be a rapper. I was going to be a performer. Like, there was no. There was manifested curfew for me. And any punishment I had to take, I would take it. Yeah, I mean, I. I'll. When me. I'll never forget when me, Slim and Dub, we came to my house one day and all of the furniture was gone and my dad was just sitting on the floor and he was like, going to Africa. My dad just dipped and I saw. And I didn't see him until I was 26, and I had already, you know, kind of achieved the dream. And I just remember.

[Bunny's Co-host]

How old were you?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I think I was. He had. He had met my daughter once before he left, so I was probably 19 because she was, you know, I was having the baby when I was 18, and I was like, dad, I'm having a kid. And that was another thing where he was like, there's no fucking way. There's absolutely no way you're having. And he was, you know, disappointed because I was working at fast food. And he was like, you know, why the fuck didn't you become a collegiate scholar?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Your mom. So just circling back to that real quick. Just to clarify.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So when she clarify, my cat is shitting over there, so.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Nice. You guys catch the downwind?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Any downwind that is.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Little air biscuits. Good.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And that's my trouble, child. I think you got it. Yeah, that one's tickets.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So circling back to mom, just to clarify, when she left home, you chose not to be a part of her life or did she just go no contact with you?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, you know, another thing that kind of came with her and I reconnecting was just realizing that my dad was keeping me from her for years to hurt her. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, I mean, I, you know, I had had all those frustrations like, why the fuck would you never call? Why would you never show up? I was in all these things came out like, I was literally in your front yard and got the cops called on me. I, you know, every time I called, he would answer the phone and, you know, go off. And so that was. That was a manipulative parent move. Where again, it's. It's really funny. I was at a Blink182 show the other Night. And they're about to do Stay Together for the kids, which is like. It's one of my. It's probably my favorite Blink song. And it's a song about broken home. And he was like, if anybody comes from a broken home, you know, raise, raise your cell phone lights so all these cell phone lights go up. He's like, I just want you to know that it's all your fault. It's really funny because I was a prime example of that, where it was like I was kind of the tool of manipulation between the whole thing, but.

[Bunny's Co-host]

It'S never your fault.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I understand, but I have to laugh at it at this point. And honestly, it really. I kind of was.

[Bunny's Co-host]

There's a quote I heard today that I actually absolutely fell in love with. And it said, sometimes you're older than your elders on an energy level. Your parents might be younger than you spiritually.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, that is me and my daughter, because my daughter is a wise oak tree.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I have that in my notes. And we're gonna. We're gonna talk about her, too. We can move on to that.

[Bunny XO]

Let's talk about Katie's.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, I would like to say for the record, I love my mom dearly, and I misrepresented her a lot early in my career. And not misrepresented in the sense of not speaking truth. I was speaking my truth, but I didn't give the masses a chance to understand her truth. And I didn't. I wasn't in contact with her to understand her truth. And there was plenty of things that I was mad at her about because it was like, your fight has to be stronger. Like, you gotta. You gotta get to me.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

You know, you gotta. Liam Neeson this shit.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, no, I get it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Come fucking find me no matter what it takes. And, you know, because I was stuck in that situation, you know, my. The house I was even living in with my aunt and her husband, who was a giant piece of shit. I shouldn't have been. I shouldn't have been in that place.

[Bunny's Co-host]

But can we touch on your aunt, too? She was somebody who was very dear to you.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That was my dog for life.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Which was that? Mother's or father's side?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That was my dad's older sister.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And tell me, take me on that journey with you guys relationship.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

She was like the biggest supporter of any dream I had. I wanted to be a Jedi so bad. And, you know, she bought me this hockey stick so that I could take the end of the. The little hitting part off so I could have, like a staff Like a lightsaber. And I would just always be in the yard and just be like, you know, I would attach a carabiner to a rope to a tree, and I would put a bandana over my eyes. Like when they train and the lasers come with them and they can just feel.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So I would always, like, hit the carabiner in the front yard. And she would. Any dream I had, she would be like, hell yeah, you're going to be a Jedi. Like, what can I do to support it? And when I wanted to be a battle rapper, you know, I would always make her watch videos with me on BET and mtv. And she was like, well, we got it, you know, we got to get you looking like that. So she took me and she got me my first, like, you know, hip hop outfit, which in hindsight, I looked so fucking stupid.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, no. What was it now? You gotta tell me what it was.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Probably just like, some like, Anichi denim shorts that were just like down to, like, my shins with, like, with these stitches in them. So it was different color denim on it. Matching denim, whatever. But it's crazy because when I wore that to school, everyone, all of a sudden it was like, right when. At the end of the year when all the yearbooks. You sign everyone's yearbook, and the first my. On my sixth grade yearbook. It's so cool because no one signed it because I had no friends except for my one. My one boy who's. Who's locked up, who's still my friend, but seventh grade, man. When I pulled up in that denim thing, everyone wanted to sign my yearbook. And I was battle rapping too. So everyone was like, hell yeah. You know, like, they were. They were fucking with my heart. They could see I was. They could see I was vicious. And I had good rhymes as a child.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That's all you need is one person in your corner just telling you you can be whatever the fuck you want to be.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Totally. And then, I mean, she carried that mentality so heavy into my career because she worked at Target and dude, we would. There was a strip club across street called Shotgun Willys. And it was in the parking lot of this Target. And one of my proudest moments was pulling the tour bus up to Target to pick her up. But she had a. She had these glasses on. And I was like, aunt Barbara, like, you know, take your glasses off. Like, I want, you know, connect with me or whatever. And she wouldn't take them off. And I was like. I was like, what's wrong? And, you know, she finally took her glass off. She had a black eye.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, no.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

My uncle had her up.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And, you know, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't just go kill that right there, you know? And, like, that was obviously in the plans, but everybody was like, dude, you have so much going for you. You know, like, don't. Don't make this decision. But that was my heart, you know? Like, I. I couldn't take that. Anyone did that to her, you know, so. Especially him. But anyway, cut to a couple years later. You know, we're at the. We're at this at Shotgun Willys, and all the dancers are coming up to me, and they're like, yo, we, like, we love your aunt, you know, Is. Is. Does she work at Target? And I was like, yeah. She was like, yeah. They were like, yeah. Anytime we go over there to buy anything, she always has, like, MGK CDs next to her register. And if you look young or you buy anything that resembles, like, you might listen to me, she'd be like, have you guys heard of mgk? That's my nephew. You should buy the cd. Or, like, if I was on the COVID of a magazine, like Inked Magazine or something like that, she'd be like, you know, if someone's buying, like, a. I don't know, a cool T shirt or another CD or something, she'd be like, dude, you should buy my nephew's magazine cover. And so she was obsessed with me, and I was, like, a really, really inspiring person in my life. And, you know, watching her go through cancer and then beating that, and she was always really resilient. But she and my father, they both died from liver cirrhosis. They drank themselves to death. That was a hard one to buy, especially because the last phone call that I had, I cut her off. I was in a really bad mood. I was in Germany about to do this festival called Splash Festival, and she would always call me. And it was one of those conversations where I was like, honestly, she was probably just giving me love, and I'm really uncomfortable with love, right? And if I. If I'm. If I'm at that point in my life, if I was getting any of it, I got. I got really like, oh, just. And I just hung up the phone. And that was the last time I spoke to her. And they called me and told me she had passed right before I went on stage.

[Bunny's Co-host]

She knows you love her, though. She can hear you talking about her at any time.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, that. That's one where, man, I always just wish you would come to me in my dreams or something. Like, I never got closure with that. And she. I did ask that the spirits don't take her to the next life yet. Like, I really want her to be a spirit guide for me in this lifetime. Like, I want her to stay watching over me. And I feel like it's. I feel like it's happened, you know, Like, I've had a really big turnaround in the past couple years spiritually and even just with career, you know.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, absolutely. I bet you. And I guarantee that's her hand in that for sure.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. Is it? Do I, Do I? Am I like, look, is it? What am I supposed to do with my eyes?

[Bunny's Co-host]

You're doing great. Don't, don't overthink it. You're crushing it. So you started battle rapping in seventh.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Grade, Seventh grade, maybe sixth grade. Seventh grade, though.

[Bunny XO]

Was that your outlet because you were.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Such an introverted child and just such a, you know, had such a crazy home life and abusive home life. Was that your outlet to just go and be like, you know? Cause I, whenever I envisioned battle rappers, I envisioned like the aggression and just, you know, snipering people verbally.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, I desperately needed something to fit in. You know, I was an okay skater, I was an okay fighter. Fighting was really big growing up, you know, like all these kind of different outlets of kind of like alpha actions were the highlight of what seemed like people were accepting, you know, Like, a lot of my friends weren't gang, so I wanted to be a gang member a lot of. But what I was obsessed with was music, you know, Like, I loved, I just, I loved music that was. Who was always talking to me, was my headphones. And so I.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Who were your influences back then?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

DMX was huge for me. Tupac was huge for me. The Kanye and 50 albums and linkin park and Limp Bizkit and that era of albums was so. It had all the angst I needed. It was saying all the stories of a runaway, fuck up, broken home youth and yeah, my first battle rap, I'll never forget. I don't remember any of the lines that I said, but I do remember I looked up, it was a dude that was taller than me in the last line. I was like, bitch, get your tall ass down and kiss my feet. And it rhymed with whatever I'd said before. And everyone was just like. And lost their mind.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And it was so opposite of how I was at home because at home I was essentially bullied to just be like a piece of furniture in the corner, you know. What? I mean, like, I didn't really have a voice at all, so I had to find a way to have a voice. And battle rap gave me my.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Your alter ego, for sure.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, for sure. And then I probably, probably got lost in that because I just started to just. That was the person who was accepted, so I just became that person.

[Bunny XO]

When you buy from my merch online, just know you're buying from Shopify. They've been there for me ever since I started my merch company and that was a while ago, so we are like family at this point. All the tools Shopify has to offer helped me amplify my business to a whole new level. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversion up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going cha ching. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platforms better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or scrolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that I use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bunny b u n N I E all lowercase go to shopify.combunny to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.combunny y'all know I'm all about keeping.

[Bunny's Co-host]

It real with you.

[Bunny XO]

And today I want to talk about something really personal to me. You guys have heard me talk about it on the podcast numerous times. But let's discuss Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or, as most of you know, ocd. Now, I know some people joke about being a little ocd, but as someone who's actually living with ocd, I'll be the first to tell you it's not a laughing matter. And it isn't just being tidy or organized. OCD is actually having disturbing, unwanted thoughts that cause you overwhelming anxiety because they just feel so wrong and you really don't want to be thinking about them. It's also repetitive physical or mental behaviors you do to try to make the anxiety from those thoughts go away. But that just doesn't work in the long run and they just keep coming back. The idea that OCD is only about hand washing and organization is a complete misconception. OCD can latch onto anything, but it often focuses on the things we care about most. Our relationships, religious beliefs, our hobbies and passions in an attempt to make the distress from their unwanted thoughts go away. People with OCD will often engage in repetitive physical or mental behaviors known as compulsions. And actually I call them my rituals which can be incredibly time consuming and exhausting. NOCD is a virtual therapy provider for OCD that makes getting specialized therapy easier than ever. With no cd, you can do live face to face video therapy with licensed therapists who specialize in OCD and be able to access always on support between sessions all in the NOCD platform. NOCD accepts many major insurance plans to help make this life changing treatment affordable and offers always on support between sessions through therapists, messaging, OCD therapy tools, peer communities, support groups and so much more. If you think you might be struggling with ocd, first of all, I hate that for you because I struggle with it daily also. But just know that you're not alone. If you want to learn more about therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and schedule a free 15 minute call with their team. That's nocd.com to learn more and book a free 15 minute call.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I 100% resonate with that because I was abused by my stepmother growing up and so she was the bully at home and I became the bully outside of the house. It's because you just feel like you have to put on this facade so that nobody can hurt you because you already get hurt so much inside your house that when you leave the house, nobody's going to fucking hurt you because you control that totally. So battle rapping became your love and then, you know, later on down the line. You ended up having a baby when you were about 18, correct?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yep.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Can we talk about Casey?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, I would love to.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Let's talk about her. You light up whenever you talk about her. Yeah, and I love that. And I noticed in a lot of her interviews, you know, she does seem like such an old soul.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm telling you, even hearing you on.

[Bunny's Co-host]

The phone with her last night, it was like you were reporting to your mom. Like you like even your demeanor and everything like kind of changed.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, my, well, my, my life changed. Like I was, I'll never forget the first breath she took. She came out, she wasn't breathing. And then the doctor, I, I think like tapped her chest or something like that and she, she did the like. And I just remember everything was jokes and me trying to make her mother feel. I was trying to make her mother laugh while she was having. Which was just going so poorly. Like it was so bad. It was, I didn't know what to do. I should have been calming, but I was just trying to make jokes. She was like, shut the fuck up.

[Bunny's Co-host]

She's like, I'm shitting a kid out here.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. And, man, when she took that first breath, dude, every tears like Niagara Falls started coming. And I fell in love. And that was really the first person I ever, you know, loved, like, actually.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Gave you that feeling of love beside your aunt. You said that you were number 22, which I'm. I was born on the 22nd myself.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Were you really?

[Bunny's Co-host]

January 22nd.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Wow. Cool.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And we are. We are rule breakers and generational curse breakers. And I feel like it stops with you, with the lineage that your family has with the men.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And I see what a father you are to Casey. And, you know, can you appreciate that you've actually broken that curse with your family?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I don't know. I gotta finish this life first and do a review of my soul and kind of see if I made the right decisions or not. And I feel like one of my favorite quotes which my friend Maud Son gave me was, I thank God that I have the ability to punish myself today so that I can forgive myself tomorrow. So, you know, for the mistakes that I've made, I'm grateful that I also have the choice to forgive myself absolutely after. Because I think a lot of us live with, like, oh, man, I messed up. Like, I'm just stuck being that mistake. And it's really hard with the Internet, too. Just constantly wants to make you be that mistake also. And I just want everyone to feel comfortable to know that, you know, God or the universe or energy period has given you the ability to forgive yourself. Like, that's a choice that you have to make. And just like you have the choice to get in your car and drive somewhere, get out of bed and do something. Like, you have. You have that ability to forgive yourself, which is really important. Otherwise, those things are just gonna grow inside of you and eat you alive. And that's, I think, a lot of. I honestly, I truly believe that, you know, things like cancer or disease in some cases come from trauma and secrets that you've withheld that you can't forgive yourself for.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Secrets keep you sick.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yes. So it's really important to get it out. Yes. And accept and forgive.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Do you think you'll ever be able to give yourself your flowers while you are alive, though, for being the father that you are? Like, you may not feel like you're perfect, and I don't think anybody's a perfect parent. But coming from what you grew up in to who you are now and the father that you are to Casey. Would you. Can you ever just look at yourself and be like, yeah, I did do that.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. But I. I could always, you know, I could be a better father. So I just. I don't know. I mean, I hope. I hope that I'll always be someone that she can depend on and lean on and love. I guess I'm just so scared because I know how my relationship with my parents was and, you know, I was so mad at my dad up until the last moments of his life. So I just, I almost. I don't know. And I'm. I'm like, I'm so in love with her that I'm scared. You know, you don't ever want to, like, disappoint. And so, yeah, I mean, it's not for me to give myself any flowers. I guess I. That's for her to decide if she, you know, if I did a good job or not.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I understand that.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So let take me on this journey where, you know, you're battle rapping, you just had a baby, and I think you were at south by Southwest in Austin.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I mean, the story that was kind of built was that. But essentially we had, did I think a Southwest, even south by Southwest prior to that, maybe even another one before that. I think everyone had kind of discovered me at the same time, label wise, because there was a big bidding war. And Yeah, I mean, essentially we had to, you know, choose a label to go with. And. But it wasn't south by Southwest. It was really the mixtape circuit. Like, we were the. The one thing that I always loved that we did was we would catch everyone coming out of school and we would hand them our mixtape. And so all the seniors who would graduate, you know, go off to college in all these different parts of the country and they take a piece of home with them with our. With our mixtape and they're like, yeah, but back home we got this kid, like, you gotta check him out. And so like, the word really started to spread. And that was when mixtape era was, you know, it was really important and blog era was really important. And the Me and Mac and Wiz and Big Sean's and Kendricks, and asaps, all these, you know, all these mixtape kids were just kind of just ground zero, handing out CDs. So I still meet people who are like, yo, I remember you gave me this in whatever year. And, you know, Slim was a huge part of that, man. I remember I saved up so much just to Buy my own, like, CD burner. And we would print all the CDs, put the labels on. We shared a one bedroom apartment together. And we would just go out and hand them out. And there was this one really funny memory where we went and gathered up all these coins. Like, we saved, like, I don't know, 300, $400 worth of coins.

[Bunny XO]

Oh, I remember that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

The fitting machine.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And it tells you, like.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Or you do, like the big water bottle.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. And then we bought a Juno keyboard with that.

[Bunny XO]

Kids now will never know.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

They'll never know.

[Bunny's Co-host]

They'll never know.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That's all right.

[Bunny's Co-host]

But you bought a keyboard. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. So we got a Juno and we made all our beats with that. And. Yeah, I don't know. I also was just like, dude, I would just rap for every single person that would listen. That was kind of. I worked at an airbrush shop and that was kind of what I was like, Cleveland famous for was just like, oh, that's the white boy from the airbrush shop who always raps for everybody. Or I would go in front of the mall because the mall is the big skyscraper in downtown Cleveland. It's called Tower City. I'll go in front of there. That's like the meeting point between Eastside and West side on where the trains come. And I would just rap for everybody out front or battle rap, whoever the, you know, the Illuminati talks and all that stuff that come towards me from people, I just. It's. It. I explain it best in the end of that El Pistolero song. When I say, I don't worship the devil. That's just what they say when you get on this level.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Literally, just like they accuse Jay and I have been.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm like, look, homie. Like, this is what hard work is. Hard work means that's, you know, something comes from it. And if you look at my journey, I've been pushing and pushing and pushing and, you know, by all means, I would have loved a. I would have loved a button pusher to be like, we're gonna make him huge.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

You know what I mean? Like, they would have saved me a lot of stress and a lot of friends lost and a lot of, you know, a lot of years. You know, it's odd to be on at 19 and not experience your biggest success until you're 30. And. And that was one thing, that jelly. I love that speech. When he was like, don't ever. When he won Best New Artist.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah. And took me 38 years to get here.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, for sure. And don't ever let age be a factor in.

[Bunny's Co-host]

2 Chainz didn't hit it off till he was like 40, right?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Dude, he was like 36 or something like that when it happened. And I hate the. The expression grow up.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Right.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Like I posted, you know, the fangs or something like that the other day, and you see one comment out of the 5,000 that you just zoom in on and it's like, something really grow up or, you know, you're too old to be doing this or whatever it is. Which is so ironic because we're all still so young. But to me, that's just a sign of you being scared to ever unleash your creativity. I couldn't imagine if Tim Burton had to come up with Nightmare Before Christmas before he hit 20 years old.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Because we wouldn't have these things, like, there is no age on art. There is no age on fun. I love. I was just reading this book earlier. Let me see if. Yeah. Join with all those who experiment, take risks, fall, get hurt, and then take more risks. Stay away from those who affirm truths, who criticize those who do not think like them. People who have never once taken a step unless they were sure they were that they would be respected for doing so, and who prefer certainties to doubts. I love that I don't ever want to step and know that the ground is going to hold me.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

The best part of life are these risks that I take. And the worst thing I could ever imagine being is someone who is caged in because others live in a cage.

[Bunny's Co-host]

One of my favorite quotes is from Oscar Wilde, and it's, you will always be fond of me, for I represent to you the sins you never had the courage to commit.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm telling you what is growing up, literally, it's so odd.

[Bunny's Co-host]

You gotta always just be in tune with your inner child.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And I think a thousand percent, the second that your light is fueled by gasoline instead of natural wood means that it's forced. Like, this is all things that burn inside of me naturally. Why would you want us, you know, why would you want a synthetic result instead of something that is organic?

[Bunny's Co-host]

I think it's. The world is so programmed and people just take everything so literal now. And it's just like there's a time limit on everything. And really, people don't realize that time is like the most precious commodity and something that you'll never get back. And it's like, why don't you want to do what you love with that time instead of what the world's telling you to do.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Also, why, if someone had their childhood robbed, would you not want to allow them that back? That's like expecting.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That gave me goosebumps.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

If Helen Keller got her hearing and her eyesight back at 36, being like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, why are you on a. Why. Why are you on a. Why are you on a seesaw?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Right?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That's for kids. Like, well, I never got to experience this, right? I want to experience all the joys of life. So to me, let me experience all these joys. I didn't have 20 and in my 20s, I was on drugs. I don't remember fucking any happy moments. I don't remember any of the, you know, attaining the. These, the shows that, you know, finally sold out. I don't remember those things. So let me enjoy. I didn't get to. I was so, so tight and determined to, you know, overcompensate for the traumas that I had to show that I was good enough that I didn't get the chance to creatively express myself, maybe with things like that make me happy. I was trying to, you know, satisfy others.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Mask. Also mask all the pain that you went through. When did your drug abuse start our drug experimentation?

[Bunny XO]

Have you guys heard of lal? LAL is laser assisted lipo and the results from LAL are incredible. I've been looking at before and afters from Sono Bello and these women look incredible. Lipo used to be such a bad word. But we're also supposed to act like we love every part of our bodies, right?

[Bunny's Co-host]

It's bs.

[Bunny XO]

You deserve to get the body you want. I get it. That's why I want you guys to.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Check out Sono Bello.

[Bunny XO]

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[Bunny's Co-host]

U n N I E All right, guys.

[Bunny XO]

On tour, I had a lot of down time, so I needed to fill that boredom. And guess what? I found this game that got me absolutely freaking hooked. I escaped reality and immersed myself in a gripping tale of mystery, murder and romance, where every clue brought me closer to the truth. You can join June as she unravels the truth behind her sister's mysterious death. Unleash your creativity by designing your luxurious island estate, complete with sprawling G and stunning architecture. And use your observation skills to find hidden clues and uncover dark secrets. I'm looking forward to unlocking all of these because I'm only a couple chapters.

[Bunny's Co-host]

In, but oh, my goodness, guys, it's so much fun.

[Bunny XO]

Can you unmask the truth? Download June's journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Probably. I mean, 11 was the first time that I did ecstasy with. With my one friend who lived on the same street because his older sister dated a rave DJ.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, my goodness.

[Bunny XO]

11 years old.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. But it was. It was. It was funny. They, like, told us how to do, you know, they told us how to do it. They gave us a little pacifiers because your teeth grind.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That's not. You're 11.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then, you know, then it's not like it. You know, it's not like it continued daily. It was. It took breaks. And I was more focused on music than I. Than I was being a burnout. But then in my 20s, I went the fuck off for sure.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Made up for lost time.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Definitely.

[Bunny's Co-host]

What was your drug of choice?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Started with weed and alcohol. Then I really loved snorting by vans because the work ethic that came without it, just being able to, like, lock in on something and being like, oh, my God, I just wrote six songs in two hours, you know, like, are you diagnosed add? Oh, for Vyvanse and stuff like that? Hell no. I don't know.

[Bunny's Co-host]

It's because they work so good on you. Because I know when I take Adderall, it makes me feel like I am cracked out and I have the opposite effect than getting anything done.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. I also think maybe when I was. Yeah. I don't know. Who knows?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Loved. Loved, like, Hydrocodin.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, yeah. I love a good laur d'oeuvre.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Loved Percocet. That was. My dad. Loved Percocet, too. Percocet and red wine. Like, my dad's twin told me that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Was your dad an addict?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Also, yeah, I didn't. That was actually how he really connected to my music, was he went to rehab when he came back from Africa, and he met someone with an MGK tattoo. And that guy, whoever that was, shout out to you, my boy, because you really opened up a big door for me and my dad's relationship, because I guess the kid was like, dude, you don't know what your kid, like, means to people.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Wow.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

You don't know what this music does for us. And so my dad really kind of had a different respect for me after that rehab stint. And like I said, you know, he. The last thing. What's up, boy? The last thing that we did, which, you know, he was too far gone anyway. So it wasn't even like I was trying to be the, you know, rule enforcer, but he was like, dude, can you just sneak me in some whiskey? Because he was in hospice, and obviously you can't drink or do anything. And at this point, you know, his feet had already been amputated.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, my goodness.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That was, you know, one of the hardest things in my life was, like, putting on his socks over his. Whatever was left of his, you know, feet or whatever, and. Exactly, exactly. And, yeah, I went and got the best bottle of bourbon I could find, and we. We drank, and then he. He peaced out.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Do you feel like that helped kind of put you into more of a pop culture moment? Quote, unquote? And, you know, Hotel Diablo was kind of under the spotlight.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, I actually feel like Hotel Diablo is severely underappreciated.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Really?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

For sure. I think until, like, until later, you know, it got appreciated as, you know, probably my best body of work as a rap album.

[Bunny's Co-host]

It got 1.3 billion streams. But you feel like the media kind of wrote you off, right?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm for the people, you know, I'm a man of the people, so I really only care what the people think. The whole, like, yearning for critic approval left me many years ago. That's why. I mean, if you think that I for one second thought that me making a pop punk album was gonna satisfy anybody other than what I wanted to do, it has to be, you know, like, I clearly knew that it was going to rupture. The structured system of, like, you're supposed to do this, and you're, you know, labeled as this. So this is what you are. I'm. I'm wearing the shirt of a boundary breaker. I look up to those who break the system and make people think that's what art is supposed to do. So I also struggle with the like, did that bring spotlight? Because I had been facially and musically famous for eight years before that. There wasn't a street that I could walk on from here to Australia to Germany to anywhere where people weren't like, oh, shit, that's Machine Gun Kelly. So I just think the Internet narrative really tries to force something that, you know, in time, as long as I continue to run my own race, people will look back on and it won't even be a. I think you've proven yourself. Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So 1.3 billion streams is nothing to golf at. I mean, that's. I think that's the people telling you that they're consuming you, for sure. They're loving you.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And I'm the opposite of wizard of Oz. I'm outside constantly making sure that my feet are touching ground and that I'm connecting with the people that I'm speaking for.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Absolutely. I think that's why your fans love you and the people in your life love you because you are such a strong force to be reckoned with for sure. So diving back into your album with Hotel Diablo, it was bittersweet. You know, we Talked about the 1.3 billion streams and stuff like that. But you did also touch on the fact that your father did die the same day that that came out. And you had said in an interview somewhere that a neighbor had told you some fucked up things that you couldn't get closure on.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Can we dive into that a little bit?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It was so eerie and so really just wrong, in my opinion, because I was not able to, you know, speak to my father or my aunt about any of the things that were said about him. But, you know, one thing I know that he wanted, that he had asked me to do was to go into his safe, which was in storage in Cleveland. And so I did that. And that was, you know, kind of where I got some psychological closure that, you know, he had a severe split personality disorder and, you know, had a just gnarly kind of rehab stints throughout my life that I never really knew about. So, like, when he would be like, oh, I'm gonna go on a job interview, and it would be like a long time he was gone. Like, I was kind of putting the pieces together, like, oh, he was in rehab.

[Bunny's Co-host]

The reason I'm asking is because you had said that it sent you into such a spiral that you ended up putting a shotgun in your mouth.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, that I guess I wouldn't necessarily talk about that because it's really hard for things to get taken out of context. I also think drugs are really mind altering and, like, people should be really careful of what it does to your brain chemistry because maybe that's not even necessarily you doing the actions, you know that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, absolutely. Something else taking over your body.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

But you know, what I can say is that made me so uncomfortable that I didn't even want to put my dad's ashes and my aunt's ashes in the same room as each other. So.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, how do you move on from something like that? How do you, like, because you're. You're literally, you're riding one wave where you don't feel. You had said that. You don't feel like Hotel Diablo got, you know, what it deserved. But on the other hand, you know, the streams don't lie. And then you're dealing with the situation with your dad and drug use and mental health. Like, where. Where does a shining light come in? And like, where did. Where do you. How do you navigate through such a dark time like that of highs and lows?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

My specific situation was really fortunate because of the group of friends that I have, and they've been the same group of friends that I've had since I came in. So I learned the power of expressing and being vulnerable and, like, getting. Speaking things to them and receiving really grounded advice and comfort and loyalty from people that I know would never turn their backs on me, no matter what. And I've tested that to the max, you know, where if they were going to leave, then they would have left a long time ago.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Anyone that gets close to me, I push them away to see if they stay for sure. It's all a test. It's not because I want them to go anywhere.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Absolutely.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'll never. I was watching this video my mom sent me of me as a kid where I was like, I had a really funny lisp when I was a kid. I had to get my frenulum cut because my tongue wouldn't go past my teeth. So I talked like this and, like, it was really funny when, like, I couldn't say my R's very well. So I was walking around and I was like. My mom was filming me and I was like, I'm hunting bales. And she was like, okay, well, like, where are you gonna go? And I was like, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go over there and I'm gonna hunt. I'm gonna hunt bales. And I start walking and I'm just like, waiting for her to, like, come with me. And I'm just like, come with me. And like, that really, like, is a testament. Well, it's like a microcosm of who I really am where I really don't want to be alone. Like, I don't ever want. I don't ever want to be alone, you know, Like, I love my friends so much, and I love really hard, but I'm not good at showing it. I show it by being an asshole or, you know, trying to show, like. I see. I knew you would leave me and.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Kind of like a form of self sabotage.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, dude. Self sabotage King right here.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And it also got, you know, it's funny. Covid helped me stop cocaine. Like, cocaine was. You asked me what my favorite drug, what my drug of choice was. Cocaine was the. To me, right? It gave me the. Like, me and Jelly talk about that all the time, where I'm, I'm so socially awkward. But I would do that before I went somewhere and I would leave and just be like, I just killed that in there. Like, everyone loves me, dude. Like, I was.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Brought you out of yourself, talking to.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Everybody and, you know, just like this false sense of, you know, Superman syndrome or just like, you know, I, I, whatever. And so I, you know, it's funny because Covet really helped that because obviously everyone thought it was a zombie apocalypse, so none of the dealers would leave their house.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Exactly. So you had no choice.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

All right, like, you know, I gotta find something else.

[Bunny's Co-host]

When did Megan enter the picture?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Right? I was just. That was, that was right there where I was leading into how powerful the heart is. Because you can play with every other sense that you have in your body, but if your heart isn't there, it's like, it's like this, it's like this example of, you know, being an archer. And you can be so technically skilled and all of these. Your precision could be perfect, right? And all that stuff. But if you switch to an uncomfortable place, like a shaky bridge, if you're not shooting from your soul, then all that precision, all the technicalities that you've mastered, like, nothing beats a shot from the soul, right? Like that. Anybody? That's why. That's why I never care when people give me shit about guitar playing. I don't care how technically good you are. Like, every time I play my guitar, I'm playing it from my heart. So whatever I'm playing is how I felt that day. And you know, the people who are like, why do I. Why, why am I not, you know, on, on his level of fame or other things like that? I. All I've done is Just shoot shots from my soul. So there's nothing to deny that there's people that will always resonate. And, you know, my arrows will hit their heart. And that woman struck a bullseye. And when I felt that sense light up, everything else went away. And I learned what it was to accept living. That was like. It gave purpose to everything. I was confused at why I was here for. And so I was. You know, I'm forever grateful to God and indebted to the destiny lines that wove me into that wove me and her together, because that was something where, you know, when I saw her eyes for the first time, it was like I had a telescope to every secret in the universe. And I think what followed that really proved what Moving With Love does. Because, you know, my. The album that I made after that, which is Take Us To My Downfall, went to a level I had never experienced. And, you know, I started to be able to feel my body in different ways. My mind, like, the frequency of my mind and the information that started coming into it and the way that I was able to start processing my own. You know, she was a. When, you know, when you have a twin flame relationship, it's. You're essentially looking at a mirror at all of the things that you fucking have ran away from your whole life. And, you know, it's. It's not like this grand waltz of love and gentility. It's really, really, really dark. Dark at first. And it's toxic because you're staring. It's. You're essentially. Do you watch Harry Potter?

[Bunny's Co-host]

I don't, but they do.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, there was a. Remember that mirror where he could look in and he could see his parents and all that. So it's like. Like. It's like looking at that, but instead you're seeing all of the things that you've ran away from this whole time, and all the things that those drugs have numbed and the music and successes have numbed, and you're forced to either look away and lose or face and embrace. And that is the endless waltz that we are constantly in with each other. And so I think the reason that she and I have stepped away from publicizing anything in our relationship just down to photos of us having fun together or things like that, is because we're both really intuitive people. And so we feel the millions of. We feel the millions of hate that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Comes at you, wants to tear down beautiful things always. But you guys standing together will never allow that because you guys are way stronger than any hate that you guys could ever Receive.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, I mean, I won't lie and say that, you know, the evil eye didn't really, really take a toll on what, you know, we thought was a beautiful thing, that we could maybe inspire people to not mimic, but just inspire people to love. Right. Like that. Not. Not love us, but just inspire the action of love. Because I would be wrong in saying that we don't all, you know, kind of look at what we see on TV or on our phones and, you know, want to mimic or we think that, you know, I grew up, like I said, the main word that was in my house from my father about my mom was horror. And the things that I would see on TV from the movies and the music I was listening to was not about monogamy and was not about love. It was about the complete opposite. And so me and her being.

[Bunny's Co-host]

You also have a huge mother wound too, for sure.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And. And she clearly, you know, Megan was a. A big test for me in that. Because you're confronting all of your mother wounds when you find the person that you love and that relationship or that. That idea that we had or where we were like, you know, let's. Let's change what's in mainstream media about relationships. Like, let's. Let's show love. You know, kind of felt like it backfired because it's. It's cute at first, and then people get sick of seeing you happy. And I, you know, I'm actually fortunate because I feel like a lot of the exes that I have and, you know, the women that I've met in my life and they've all kind of had a. An empathy for seeing that. Oh, man, it's just a broken kid, man. Like, you know, he'll figure it out one day. I've been supported in that for a long time, and I really appreciate all those people that I've met on my journey for being so kind to me and understanding that I was just, you know, figuring myself out. But the hate that came with the relationship was.

[Bunny's Co-host]

You know, but don't let them win.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

No, I know, but it's just. But now we just don't let it be anybody's business. Right? They don't.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Because what, they don't know if they're winning or losing.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Right. For sure. All they need to know is that you guys love each other and you guys are, you know, in it to win it, I think. Go ahead.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Well, yeah, I mean, you know, I'm done.

[Bunny's Co-host]

No, I love hearing you talk. It's like poetry.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So I could I just feel like I'm a really boring talker right now.

[Bunny's Co-host]

It's actually really beautiful.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I talk at like a 2 mile per hour pace and I don't necessarily know. I think I'm better at writing the music and talking than I am at actually conversational talk.

[Bunny's Co-host]

No, I think people at home are actually probably going to fall in love with you because just hearing you talk is so beautiful and it very poetic. I just have one question though. Like, can we just focus on the fact that Megan had way more swagger than you when you guys met because you met her at a party and she said you smell like weed. And you looked at her and you said, I am weed. And then you guys saw each other what, like a year later and you walked into her trailer and you know.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I sat outside my trailer.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Praying to God that she would look over when she got out of her car to walk into her trailer and maybe have like an. A tiny inkling to be like, come over here. And it worked.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, you manifested that.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Except. Yeah, the first time. That was the second day of work. The first day of work I was so awkward and just stared at the ground the whole time and she just asked me questions and she has really pretty feet. So that was like. She was, she had. I was looking at the ground like, I was like, I don't know, I was just. I was super awkward, didn't know anything. What. I didn't know what to say. She just asked me a bunch of questions and asked me when my birthday was and things like that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Didn't you walk in and she said, how are you? And you said, I'm broken. And she said, well, let's find you or I'm lost. And she said, let's find you. I'm like, go fucking Megan, go. Like that was. That's hot that she did that.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, agreed.

[D]

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[Machine Gun Kelly]

I want to be an owner one day.

[D]

Billie Jean King, learn the business and so many more. Listen to the Deal wherever you get your podcast.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So what was it like making, you know, on the set of this movie, what was it like doing your first scene with her? Did you just know from the get go that you guys were going to be together?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, I was obsessed for sure. I was obsessed. And yeah, like, her conversation is just so entertaining. She's so fun to listen to. She has so much to say and she's so intelligent and she's, you know, she's really deep and she's dead sober and.

[Bunny's Co-host]

All the things you didn't think were possible in a woman.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, I grew up with a very skewed, you know, outlook. And like I said, like, my idols were kind of like my parents. So I was operating in a frequency that wasn't mine. So a lot of those years and, you know, things that I'm judged for, I'm just like, it's, you know, that's, that's a young man operating in a frequency that is not aligned with who I really am. And so it also kind of trips me out because, you know, our skin cells regenerate every seven years. So I'm literally not the same person that I was seven years ago, let alone the same person that I was yesterday. Every day, I'm constantly evolving and growing, but it's something really important to keep in mind, dude, because people, you know, if, if they're down in the pig pen getting dirty, they want you to be down there with them.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, absolutely.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

They don't look at the ones up outside of it being stoked. They're like, fuck that I'm trapped down here. You gotta, I'm gonna do anything I can to get you down here with me. Instead of being like, I'll do anything I can to get out of here and be there with you.

[Bunny's Co-host]

They love you when you're on their level. If you get any higher than that, they tear you down. It's like they build you up to tear you down.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, so it's a, it's a very, very toxic cycle to participate in and a lot of us are in it. I was in it for so long, so gotta get out of it. That requires strength and discipline and change. You know, going back to our quote about not, you know, not aligning with those who are scared to take the next step unless they're completely positive that the ground will not break beneath them.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Moving on from Megan. Let's talk about tickets to my downfall. That was pretty life changing for you.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And I don't think. Look at you smile. I love whenever you own your accomplishments, I think that's a good thing.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I don't, I'm not like saying it.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Was like, stop it. You could be like, yeah, motherfuckers, I did that. Like, you did so good. I mean, to do a genre switch, I, I've only seen a few people do it successfully and that's you, my husband, and maybe a few other people. And it is not easy because one, you have to win over brand new fans and then your old fans get mad, you know, like, you know, because you've been there.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

What was it like dropping that album? Were you absolutely petrified or did you know that it was going to be what it was?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, dude. I already felt completely alienated. I've been an outlier since birth, so I kind of just got back into that mentality of being the kid who wanted to be a Jedi, you know, or I did. I mean, when I was trying to be Super Saiyan. I cannot describe to you how awkward I must have looked because I would be in my front yard, like.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Really.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Channeling to fully trying to get my chi to a explode off of me and Kamehameha anything. So I, I, yeah, tickets I did purely out of the, the spirit of what I wanted to do. I also do. I was a Warped tour kid. Like I, the, the, the people that act like that was new for me. It's. I don't know if the right is bequeath. What does that word mean? Because I've been.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I bequeath you. So like in a wheel, in a will, they would like bequeath you.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Ah, okay. Well, I have been completely. What's the word for like lost? Like shocked. It's insert synonym for shocked. But I have just been so confused at the narrative of, you know, me trying something new. And like, I've been a band since I started. I've been flabbergasted that you have the nerve to even act like that is something new. To me, I've been a pop punk kid since I was just sense, you know, like that. Like, I also. Was I. The one thing that confused me so much was, you know, kind of when I came out with that, I was. I knew I was relighting a flame for all of the peers that I had been friends with and grew up with, and knowing that I now had a platform that could shine light on something that I loved. And, you know, all of the people that, you know, I remember seeing you say, you know, something about Motionless and White and, you know, your husband doing a song with the Falling in Reverse. And those are all guys I've toured with. I've literally. Then I warped with Those guys in 2011, 2012, 2010, like, doing the Ernie Ball stage, doing the main stage, playing as a band covering Blink songs, and just never really had the means or the discipline to sit down and just make an actual record that sounded like the universe I was already a part of. But I couldn't believe the lack of support from the guys that I was really kind of supporting by putting this album out. And I really felt like we all missed an opportunity to make that scene pop again. Pop in a way that felt like there was a ceiling. And I was. I'm, you know, severely disappointed at the. The bands who didn't speak out or speak up for the movement that was happening because it had nothing to do with my music. It had to do with the fact that there's a new generation of kids who are like, holy. Like, I want to play guitar.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah. Because bring scene kids.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Everyone before then. And I don't mean everyone, obviously, the scene is always alive. But I'm just saying in mainstream culture, you know, like the Migos and Chief Keef, and that was the. That was the. When all the kids were like, ah, I want to wear, you know, chains and hit cadences like that on 808s.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And I was also kind of seeing instrumentation die in mainstream radio and award shows and all those things. I was missing bands, you know, all of the bands that were happening were bands that have been around for generations. And I was like, no, it's time for this new. And, you know, I even loved going to the Blink show recently and seeing Pierce the Veil open. I was like, oh, that's so sick. You know, like, they deserve a big. They deserve this new audience. And.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I feel like.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I just felt like there was a real lack of support from people that I watched sit side stage with me when I would perform a Warped tour and who supported Me when I was down, right, who supported me when I was on at 1pm or 2pm and I wasn't a force to be reckoned with in their eyes. Like, it was. It was just something cool. Like, oh, shit, you know, we fuck with this dude. But then, you know, we didn't form an alliance. Like, I wish. I wish we could have. And I really felt like that was a missed opportunity. And, you know, all the YouTubers, the reactors, and, you know, people who had a platform who, like, joined the train of this is cool to shit on for likes or, you know, scared to embrace what's uncomfortable, not cool. I think it's. It's way bolder to rock with something that is gonna give, that's gonna make other people look at you. Like, why are you down with that? Because I experienced that as a kid when I would be like, I love Blink 182. And everyone was like, nah, man, that's not punk. Anti Flags punk. No Effects is punk. And you're damn right. But Blink makes great music. And they're also punk as fuck. Just because they're on MTV doesn't mean that they're soft or that their music is, you know, less has less meaning. Like, I get so, you know, with. With my shit. I think I'm very happy and honored to anyone who listened to that album and embraced it. And as an MGK fan, because I really think that you're the outliers and I really think that it makes you. In hindsight, in 10 years from now, it's going to make you feel proud that you are on this side of that movement as opposed to that side. Because my. My wave doesn't crash.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That album did great, though. Let me look at the streams. That album did great. It got like 81.1 million streams. Is that correct? No, no, no, no, that's not correct. When you Google it, that's what. That's what it says. Says 81.1 million streams.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, on Spotify, it's, I think, 3 billion.

[Bunny's Co-host]

3 billion.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Spotify alone. Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Anyway, that's still a ton of fucking streams. Like, anybody that has anything bad to say about it is just literally promoting your album. So people will listen to it at this point.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That's true. Maybe Even if they're trying to take.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I'm just saying, even if they're trying to hate on you, it's like, fuck those people, dude, because they're gonna make people curious. And that's, that's, you know, part of the streams that you're having.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Yeah. I. You know, I. I don't do. I don't really do interviews ever. So I guess I don't really get to say my side of things. So I think I was more so not trying to point out any negative. I was just trying to fact check things because it's time for.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Everything you said was fine.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It's hard. It's hard for me to watch narratives be. Be. Be carried by falsified facts. Just like the thing with, like, oh, he switched genres after this. It's like, no, it's impossible. There was a rap album that followed that, which was also my most successful rap album. There was, you know, a pop punk album that came, which was naturally leading up to that, because even on my first album, the first track featured Avenged Sevenfold, which is a very goaded band. And Shadows. Yeah. And like, those are these. Like this. It's all, you know. On Hotel Diablo, I left the last track being. I think I'm okay letting people know that the next era is coming and it came.

[Bunny's Co-host]

But even if.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That's what she said.

[Bunny's Co-host]

But even if you did just say.

[Bunny XO]

Say that you didn't have all that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Background and you didn't have that track record, even if you did come in and say, hey, you know what? I want to do rock. I'm gonna pick up a guitar, I'm gonna learn how to fucking play. Why is that not okay? Why?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It's so okay.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Exactly.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Whatever the fuck you want literally matters, dude.

[Bunny XO]

Like, as a society matters, we promise better.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

You have to just do whatever makes you feel happy.

[Bunny's Co-host]

If you want to rap one day, you want to sing country and do the fucking polka dot.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Look at me. Watch what happens. I just wrapped last week, and then Lonely Road dropped. That's a country rock record.

[Bunny's Co-host]

We're bringing MGK over to country guys.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It's always a possibility. I love. I love the. I.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Listen.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

You're country chords.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Your cover, you just did of Luke. Not Luke Ryan. Sorry, sorry. Zach. Of Zach, Bryan's son. To me, yeah, was beautiful.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Thank you.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And you're the delivery, your voice, everything was amazing.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Thank you. That song really spoke to me, and so I was really happy I did that. I was. I was so flattered. I saw a tweet. Someone pulled a tweet up from Zach in 2012 where he was like, it's an MGK day.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I was like, sick. The universe is cool.

[Bunny's Co-host]

You call Megan the son to you, don't you? Does that have any sort of.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

She has so many nicknames. Yeah. I love. I love Maki. I call her Maki. She calls me Buddha.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Why does she call you Buddha? And why do you call her Maki?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Question. I don't know why she calls me Buddha. Because not essentially very Buddha.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Like, maybe I could start now.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Hold up.

[Bunny's Co-host]

There you go. You need a belly, though, too. You got to get that belly going. There you go.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I can push out.

[Bunny's Co-host]

She calls you Lambie, too, right, Lammy? Yeah, Lambie. She said you had to earn that back, though, in an interview.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Why'd you have to earn a bag? What'd you do?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I think, you know, like, lambie is like a. The very, like, vulnerable, softer side. Oh, I don't know. What is it? Is a lamb a sheep?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yes. Yes. It's a baby sheep. Correct.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

A lamb is a baby sheep. We all don't know. I don't know. It's. All we know is that it's cute.

[Bunny's Co-host]

We think we're smart over here.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Software.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So I'm assuming that I had something to do with that. Unless I look like a lamb, but I think I look more like. I've been. I've been labeled the meerkat.

[Bunny's Co-host]

No.

[Bunny XO]

You think you have very.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

As far as, like, physically, when you.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Told me your background, it makes complete sense.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Norwegian.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yes. You have all of the features.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. My family is, like, have a heavy, heavy Norwegian. Like, even the church services once a week are done in Norwegian. They're from a town where the Vikings came a long time ago and such an odd path that, you know, they came, they ended up there. But even the bowling alley in that town is called Nordic Lanes. All the holiday meals are Norwegian food. Everything is.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Have you ever been there?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

To Norway?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Oh, do you love it?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Do you feel like when you go back. Because I'm Brazilian and I haven't been back to Brazil yet, but they always say when you go back to, like, your motherland, your soul feels it. Is that true?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Absolutely. And I think the magic of that culture is very active in my blood. So, you know, when I'm able to, you know, tap into that, depending on certain moon phases, and I. You know, I just kind of. It's hard not to say ritual because people just take it and run.

[Bunny's Co-host]

A ritual is something that you do over and over and over again. It doesn't have to be something satanic.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

No, not at all. That's what's so sad is that the.

[Bunny's Co-host]

OCD people have rituals.

[Bunny XO]

I have rituals.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Right, right. But the. But what's so sad is that magic is so real and it's it is. It's such a. It's been erased from our entire history because it's so scary to know that we all have the power to create a product out of a dream. And, you know, even, you know, if we're just speaking about, you know, moon phases, like the. The beauty of tapping into that. Like, you know, when people struggle with fasting or something, like, if they would just tap into what, like Ekadashi, which is an Indian practice of fasting, which is 11 days after the full moon or new moon, either one. The. The pull of the moon is a lot less. So the demand for your body to have food and water on that day is. Is the least.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I love that. That's fascinating because the moon makes women have their periods. It makes the ties.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yes. So there's so much power in that. There's so much power in that. So there's the least amount of pull from the moon on that day. So you're able to go that whole day without really feeling that urge. If you, you know, work up to that point and you could just start there. It's a really, really special day if you're ever trying to youo know, get into that, because it helps your body kill all the sicknesses. Like when you. When you practice those things, your cells, you know, turn over. And it's a lot of magic and just. Just that practice.

[Bunny's Co-host]

But there's a lot of magic and everything. And if you can just. I wish more people didn't demonize it as much as they do. And I just feel like even, you know, not to get into religion, because I don't really talk about religion that much on the podcast. But, you know, even Christianity has taken so many things from pagans. And, you know, there's just. There's a whole world out there that if people just kind of explored it, they would see that it's not bad and it's not evil. It's not like what they portray in the movies. And it's not like, good, which bad, which. Of course, there's bad people who do bad things with good things that they're given, but that doesn't mean that that's how it has to be.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, but I guess I also enjoy that it's a scary idea because it would then just become oversaturated and true. You know, I don't know. You need. You need. You need some people to be over on that side so that I always.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Say we are the kids from the witches that were burned.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Word.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Your friendship with my husband, I think, is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Because he is in desperate need of a little brother.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Right.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And I don't know, maybe you need a big brother, too. And he just absolutely loves you and adores you like this man. Like, he just. He's like, Kels. He calls you Kels, and it's just the cutest thing ever. And he just really. I don't know, it's like you guys are just like kindred spirits.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I agree. Which is so interesting given that we started out, you know, hating each other.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, let's talk about it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

You know, that was actually so long ago. I mean, you know, for the new Jelly fans, I knew him as a rapper. And for the new MGK fans, I am a rapper. And I forgot what started all of it. I mean, I know me and Yella.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I think it was him just kind of sticking up for Yella.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, me and Yella didn't. Cause that's why I didn't rock with each other. And Jelly's very loyal. And it kind of got to a point though, where like, a lot of, you know, there was a lot of street shit and gang shit behind it on both ends. And I think if I'm not mistaken, two of our big homies sold dope together, like on through from the Ohio to Nashville slash Atlanta connection. And they were both like, y'all white boys gotta chill. Cause it's fucking up business.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So I don't think they realize how intertwined like, Ohio, Nashville and Atlanta are.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's. It's like this.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So I learned that moving into Nashville, I never knew, you know. Cause I'm from the west coast, so I was just like. Thought the west coast shit was going on. Never knew. And then when I moved out to Nashville and Jay told me about, like, you know, the gds and like, you know, all that stuff, the gang culture.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And the drug culture between all those, like, those highways are really wild. Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

So through that, I mean, there was always respect, I'm sure, you know, because at the end of the day, we were all putting out hot shit. And you know, the handful of fucked up tatted white boys is slim to none. You know what I mean? Like, especially at that time, the ones who had made it past a mixtape buzz. So, you know, a lot of ego. Yeah, yeah. But also, you kind of. You're all just waiting for each other to be like, yo, I fuck with you, Right? So once that happened, we were locked in. Cause obviously then you respect each other's g too. So, you know. Cause you know that where each other comes from and all that. And I'm pretty sure Jelly and I squashed it through a really drunk FaceTime.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah. Recently, though, right? It was like.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It might have been like, five. No, I was like five, six years. Because then. Because then the drug. The drug. FaceTimes would continue.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I remember. Right, right. I think you had came back to Nashville to do something with Yellow, and we were going to be in the video, but we weren't, like, in town or something. And I think that's when you guys had squashed it. Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Right. And that was a tense video shoot, too, because that was the first time me and Yellow's people all, like, my people and Yellow's people all were face to face since the beef was kind of squashed. So we were all in there, like. Yeah, I mean, it was a lot of. A lot of guns. A lot of egos.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah. I think that was really.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

But everyone put it aside because music, dude. It's crazy how music brings people together and Totally.

[Bunny XO]

But I think you brought up a.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Really good point, because a lot of these beefs could be squashed by one setting egos aside.

[Bunny XO]

But two, all you. You said all we needed to hear.

[Bunny's Co-host]

From the other person was that you fucked with me. And it would have just been, you know, like. I think a lot of people, especially in the music industry, need to hear that right now, because it's like, what are we beefing for?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And all we. All we want is validation.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Because. And if you're like me and Jelly, like, you don't. You don't get it from your parents, so you want it from somebody else.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And that's why I dm. You know, any artists that I see doing their thing, whether they fuck with me or not, I'm always like, you know, I like this.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, whatever.

[Bunny XO]

So I feel like that's what the.

[Bunny's Co-host]

OGs are supposed to do to the people that are coming up in the game. I feel like you guys. For you to do that, I think is awesome, because my husband does that, too. And I think that just speaks volumes of your character, because not a lot of people will do that.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah, they didn't do it to me. They still don't do it to me. So I. You know, I'm lonely in that sense. Jelly's one of the few people who, you know, rides for me publicly, which means a lot. And the. The amount of authenticity behind how much he says, I love this dude speaks for a hundred other people who can say it half Heartedly So I, and I really actually just appreciate the hours that we've spent where my temper is in a different, My temperament is in a different place than his is. And I'm, I, you know, I still have this, I love this quote, actually.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I'm a quote person too.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I have so many of your quotes in here. So if you see me look down, I'm just looking at these, this pages of notes that I have for you. These cats.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

This was something that Halsey had said to me about me. She said, a child who grows up in a village where he wasn't held grows up to burn the world down so they can feel the heat.

[Bunny's Co-host]

That gives me goosebumps.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And so a lot of that is still so present in my temperament. And Jelly is great about diffusing, diffusing. And you know, I'll have you know, I have things where, you know, I bring to him like, hey, I'm mad about this at you. And he's able to hold space for it and redirect it and it's just. And at the same time make me feel validated for the emotions and feelings I have and then give me a solution as well. So I, I was really, really lucky to meet your husband and make a, you know, gain a big brother.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Well, he feels the same about you. And I think this is going to be a lifelong friendship and I am here for it.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Thank you.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I think you guys compliment each other. So let's talk about mental health and sobriety. Where's your sobriety journey now?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm completely sober from everything. I don't drink anymore. I haven't drank since last August.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And you hold to that because I actually wanted you to have a drinking contest with my husband and you were like, no, I'm sober.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It just kills me because I just.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Know I would have fucking drank that, man. If you ever do, we're not encouraging it, but if you ever do, please don't.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It was hard. And when we were shooting Lonely Road and you know, he rented out the bowling alley and the drinks kept coming, I was, that was like, probably my, the second night in this process that I've had where I've ever just been looking. And it was probably just from that place of ego where I was just like, jelly, I just want to drink you under the table in this high.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Ass altitude after I've been sober.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. And then we showed up to set the same time the next day and I saw his condition and I saw mine and I was like, yeah, I made the right choice.

[Bunny's Co-host]

No, literally, he tries to get me to drink.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

It was rough. He showed up, and he was like. Like, bubba, just tell me when. Tell me when the camera's rolling. I'll step out right when it's time.

[Bunny's Co-host]

He texts me. He's like, I'm so fucking hungover. I'm like, good. I'm like, I love when he does that to himself, because then it makes. He takes a break from drinking. So I'm like, yeah, have a ball, honey. Do whatever you. I said, it's high elevation, so just pace yourself. And he's like, I got this. I'm like, whatever.

[Bunny XO]

So you're sober off everything.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Is your mental health better now that you're sober, or is that when the real battle has begun? Because I know when I got sober in 2017, it was, sobriety sucks. It was the hardest journey that I went on, because then I had to get to know myself.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

And that was the real battle. I had to get to know myself without something in my system, you know.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Masking that was really. I get mad at sobriety a lot. You know, that is like a. But I'm still in that phase of.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Rebelling.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. But, you know, I didn't tell anybody outside of, you know, the closest to me, but I went to rehab right when we got off the European tour last year, and that was my first time I ever went to rehab. And, man, they just gave me so many ways to operate the body and show where this, like, anger is coming from and methods to quell it. And I met with a lot of psychiatrists, some who gave up on me, and many therapists who did the same. But I ended up falling into an awareness of what my condition is and have made peace with it. And it's a constant. It's a constant tightrope walk.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Can we speak on what the condition is?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

That one feels a little too brand new for me to confidently say, but I respect. I've also been able to have my art, and that's kind of where I feel really comfortable taking down and wood carving. You know, I like doing that. I like.

[Bunny XO]

You can whittle some wood.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I can whittle some wood.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I saw that video you posted. I was like, this is crazy. That takes precision.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, that's my. My grandpa's a Norwegian wood carver, so.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Tommy Lee with the bonsais, where.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Tommy's cold.

[Bunny's Co-host]

He's cold with the bonsais.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Sure. Yeah. What else do I do? Take on my cats, be a volleyball dad, Go on dates.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Has Megan been a catalyst in your Sobriety.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I think all my friends, I think everyone just. Really? Yeah. I mean, absolutely. Megan has for sure been extremely helpful in dealing with the kind of psychological withdrawals that come with getting off drugs. Yeah, it's rough. And being accepting that having fun isn't being self medicated or like being dang sorry. I'm like, I'm. I'm bad at answering these questions because I'm like, new to all this.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I think you're doing great. I think you've crushed this entire interview.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Am I putting you to sleep over there? I've just been really happy seeing everybody. Right. Like, I love that I'm clear when I look at, you know, the person I love. I'm really happy that when I'm clear, when my daughter and I are having our conversations and I'm coming from a place of being centered and holding space for what a child needs from their parent, you know, which is patience and advice that doesn't come from like, I just want to get through this so I can go and satiate this desire. Yeah. This, like, demon in me, you know, like, that's been a huge reward for me and I give a lot of props, a lot of props to everyone around me for never quitting before I got to this point. Because I really hope I'm a lot more of like a pleasure to be around. And I have. It's funny. This is. This is my. This is my cat. That kind of your emotional support cat? No, this is the. This is the troubled one. Really. This is me in cat form right here.

[Bunny's Co-host]

But every time you talk about something serious or like, you are kind of like tied up on your words, they. Is it he or she is a he. He chimes in. Have you noticed that?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bunny's Co-host]

He's like, I got you. I got you, dad.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

And he just purred for the first time in two years. So he was a lot like how I feel. I was where, you know, Megan was. She saw, like, who I truly was, and she was just waiting for that to be able to come out, you know, because that's. That's the reward when you have a soulmate is to be able to be connected with that person's soul. And when you're blocking it and covering it with all these things, you weren't able to see it. And, you know, same goes for, you know, Casey. One of the biggest things that killed me in that relationship was when she would be like, dad, I know when you're high. So you, you. That is like the ultimate sign of like, just disappointment in yourself. And Yeah, I. I continue to, you know, embrace that. This journey is going to be hard for me, but I accept it and forgive myself for. I really don't know. I'm also, like, really hard on myself. Very self deprecating. So I guess, yeah, I'm just happy that I'm able to start to be comfortable enough to show people who I am because I kind of depended on my art to do that. And you got to understand that a lot of people aren't gonna listen to lyrics. Yeah. So. And Jelly inspired me to do that too. He was kind of like, man, you got it. You got to get out there and talk and show people who you are. I mean, all my friends, Mod, huge, huge advocate for being like, man, I just wish people could see who I see. Megan, huge advocate for that.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Mod loves you. He started crying on the podcast when he was talking about you guys, this friendship.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I love him to death now sitting that sunken pit over there and smoke 30 cigarettes with him at 3am Talking about life and bitching about sobriety and just getting it out there. And, you know, all my friends, like, even when Slim came and Ashley's over there and all these people that have just been with me through this whole ride, I really just kind of wanna that. That thought of, when you die, how will people remember you? I don't necessarily think it's. Man, he made great songs, right? You want people to be like, man, what a great. You know, what a. What a. I could call on that person whenever I needed something. Like, that was. That person was always there for me. But you can't be there if your mind is on Neptune.

[Bunny's Co-host]

So that's how they say people will always remember you for how you made them feel.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Oh, it's a good one. Yeah. That's how I'm operating right now. I just like. I just.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Yeah, I think you're doing great, dude.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I suck at talking.

[Bunny's Co-host]

I think. I don't know. You did. We did about two. And we did about two hours, right? I think. Yeah, I think you did great. So wrapping up, what can we expect from you moving forward? Because you did take it.

[Bunny XO]

Are we going back to rap?

[Bunny's Co-host]

Are we going. Are we staying in the rock genre? Or are we just going to do whatever the fuck we feel like doing?

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm doing whatever the fuck I feel like doing.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Attaboy. Country. That's country.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

I'm doing whatever the fuck I feel like doing. I love rapping. I love playing my guitar. I love belting out whatever I'm holding inside in sentences that feel like an explanation of feelings. And. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. I. I would honestly say, like, at this point, nothing I've done will be repeated, so everything will be new, which will come with some more controversy. Only this time, my both my feet are on the ground, and I'm unstoppable. And I also don't give a fuck anymore. Art wins and heart wins, and I got both.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Let's go. Well, I'm proud of you. And, Kels, I think you did phenomenal in this interview.

[Bunny XO]

Can we give him a round of applause?

[Bunny's Co-host]

I think you did amazing. You did so good. And thank you. Bunny dude, thank you for coming on the podcast. I'm so happy to have you.

[Machine Gun Kelly]

Thank you. My cats have absolutely up everywhere. I know you can smell it. I'm so sorry. We chose the room right next to Fine.

[Bunny's Co-host]

Totally Fine. It was a vibe, and we just loved being here. So thank you so much, and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. We will see you guys next week.

[Bunny XO]

Bye.