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- [00:00]
Duncan Trussell
Hello, welcome to the DTFH live. This is so exciting. It was so fun last week. I wanted to do it again this week. And I'm glad we have a master at the helm, my dear friend, Josh Cabaza from Comedy Frequency. Let's give him a round of applause. This would not be possible without his hard work, his genius, his technical know how his diligence, his fortitude, his constitution. He stands like a barrier between this podcast and the forces of chaos. They want to take down our consciousness and make us a timid little shuddering bitches.
- [00:38]
Josh Cabaza
Oh, no, not Josh.
- [00:40]
Duncan Trussell
He won't let us do that and he knows how. So thanks, Josh. I appreciate it.
- [00:45]
Aaron
No problem.
- [00:46]
Duncan Trussell
Oh, I'm glad we're here. Oh, there's so much to talk about. I mean, this is incredible seeing you all here. Thank you for joining us. Listen, I don't know where to start. Maybe you guys decide. I, you know, I don't want to. I hate it when people do this to me. I really do. And I have friends who do this and it's cloying and it bothers me. But when I'm on a news bender, I'll talk to some of my friends and they will say things like, you know, I don't even know what's going on. I don't watch the news. And oh, don't you just want to fucking rip their face off when someone said, don't you just want to kill them? You know, because it's the, the, oh, I'm sorry, oh noble, transcendent one who's turned their back on the world and sits on some high mountain peak watching the birds fly by and meditating while I've got my fucking face shoved right up the ass of media Satan. But it's, you know, there's something beautiful in that. Now, I don't know exactly what is going on with me as far as that goes, but I'm not on a news bender, okay? So maybe I'm just prefacing what I'm about to talk about and why I'm going to talk about it with. Just know I will be on a new. As soon as 4chan's back up, I'll be back in hell. But, you know, I was talking to my wife and she's like, didn't. Didn't you hear about, like Katy Perry? And you know, all those assholes that went up in space and I had not. I knew it was happening. I knew Bezos was sending his wife and some other gals up there to gallivant among the Stars. But I just kind of tuned it out. I didn't really care one way or the other. Though I did think for a moment that he might be trying. This is like, maybe the most brilliant way to like, if you like. Okay, Bezos. He lost a lot of money in the last divorce. And I was just thinking, like, dude, I would not go up there if I was married to him. Even if the marriage seemed like it was going great. Because it just seemed like a way to sort of. My paranoid ass is that he's gonna blow the fucking thing up and collect all the insurance and simultaneously he probably doesn't like Katy Perry. And just like a way to take three birds or four birds with one stone is what I actually thought. I thought it's going to be like a challenge or disaster, but with like, you know, beautiful women, which it wasn't. But maybe that's why I tuned it out, because I still remember the challenge or disaster. That's how old I am. I was sitting on my couch, I'd call. I was sick. And I wasn't really sick, you know. I know I wasn't sick because in those days I don't think parents understood how dangerous sugar was. And my mom would just buy us cookies and I was just shoving my face full of Keebler elves, which I would do. She had to go to work. God damn it. What's better than that? When you call in sick. Not even call in sick. You're just sick. You gaslight your mom enough that she believes you. Now your fat ass is just on the couch shoving Kevlar elves in your mouth. Watching Wheel of Force, Fortune. Maybe it was Prices, right? I was in heaven, dude. It was great. And then the challenger disaster stuff popped up. And I don't know, I think it really did disturb me a little bit. And I just didn't. I don't want that to happen again. And it didn't. They all made it back to Earth. But yeah, now, now that this has happened, Bezos has sent his like a, A, a trove of symmetrical giant breasted ladies up into. Into the. Into space. And this has pissed off a surprising number of people are just really mad in a way that I find somewhat surprising. Look, and again, I think the more I reckon with the shock and awe that happens when, when things like this transpire, the more I begin to have to deal with the fact that maybe I am way more cynical than I like to think I am. That I'm so cynical that to me, I'm surprised when people react to that. By saying, this is the Hunger Games. Seriously, this is what it is. Classism and all that. I, I, and I think I've just assumed that my level of almost nihilistic cynicism when it comes to a certain strata of the culture was shared by most people, so. But dude, people are. Maybe it's just like, I guess, I don't know. But I figured, like, I knew no one would really celebrate this. Like, no one's gonna. It's not like this is, you know, some epic moment. We've already been sending rich people up into space now for a bit, and we all know space tourism is coming. Yeah. You know, did it seem like the exact kind of flex I would fucking do if I was Jeff Bezos and a billionaire? Yeah. I just, like, take my wife and then, like, other, like, hotties that I wanted to bang and send them up into space as a flex. That's just like, you know, that what Jeff Bezos did, I guess, is the new version of driving hotties around in a Ferrari. Right. That's all it is. It's a rich dude driving beautiful women around in his fancy ass fucking car. But now, now that we are entering into the very, I guess you would call it, pre singularity days, we're going to start seeing this identical kind of garish mating behavior. But it's going to be like the next one will be time travel. Like, he'll probably. There'll be a time machine that rich people can access and he'll take all those ladies to watch the crucifixion of Christ. And then everyone will see, like, in paintings of the crucifixion. Is that fucking Katy Perry? That's so weird. Like, it looks just like Katy Perry. So I think that's what we're talking about here. It's, it's, it's no different than that. I don't know why people are so upset by it. Because of the, you know, emergent billionaire class. Yeah. You're gonna. We have to get used to this. Like, nobody should get too upset by it. People are making fun of these ladies. They're upset because Katy Perry kissed the ground. Which, Listen, I know, you know, I'm Katy Perry's top fan in America. You know, I've been to every one of her shows. I love her so much. She is just exactly what I look for when I'm looking for music. But this is not why I'm saying that. I think, like, if you went up in a. I think it's safe to call that an experimental vehicle that's an experimental fucking vehicle. That's a dude who, like, just ships packages, man. That's a very successful package shipper. That's not NASA. That's. He's not even. He's not making e. It's not even musk. This is a dude who started off just packing books and boxes, and he was good at it, and he. And he saw an angle that nobody could see, and he made it happen, and he became a fucking billionaire. All I'm saying is I don't know for sure that Jeff Bezos spent a lot of time studying trigonometry, you know, rocket science. He hires people and all that, but you know what I'm saying, It's like, yeah, I would kiss the fucking ground, too. I would assume I was going to die for a brief glimpse of Earth from space. So people are all making fun of her. People are, like, all on, like, attacking Bezos's, like, wife because she's got, you know, big tits. It's like, dude, what universe do you live in? What world are you people living in? This is. Don't. I just don't get it. I'm not saying you're not allowed to attack. You can attack whoever you want, but just think you're, like a bookseller. You pack books. Mail order books, I think is how he started. You send mail order books. You're Jeff Bezos. I'm sure. Like, you know, you've probably got some kind of ambitious edge to you. You're a workaholic. You've got this feeling like, I don't know why I feel like I'm going to be a billionaire, but I can feel it, man. You don't realize. The reason you feel like that is because a future version of you has been using an as of yet undiscovered technology to travel back in time and whisper that in your ear, creating some kind of bizarre time loop. You've probably been dreaming. Like, God, why do I keep looking down at the Earth? And I look to my right and there's Katie, this beautiful, beautiful woman, and another beautiful woman, and somehow it's all because of me. Maybe you're getting messages from the future. All I'm saying is, if you were Jeff Bezos and you're a billionaire, none of this seems surprising to me, you know, I'm a nerd. I'm a nerd. And it, like, I would do. I'm sorry, but if I, like, become a billionaire and. We'll get to Operation Beast Blast in a moment. Yeah, I'm sending. I'm not gonna just send my wife up into space. She won't go, probably. But yeah, I'm gonna probably, like, see if Sydney Sweeney wants to go up into my space in space for free. You just go up there. It'll be cool. You're not sitting. Switch. My wife would. Yeah, I'm not going up there with her. My wife became a billionaire and she's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go up in my spaceship with, like, I don't know, Timothee Chalamet, Brad Pitt. I don't know any famous symmetrical guys that are young. Who else?
- [11:10]
Aaron
The guy who played Aquaman. What's his name?
- [11:13]
Duncan Trussell
Look it up. Oh, yeah. No, you're not going up in space with that motherfucker. You're not going up in space with him.
- [11:19]
Aaron
Jason Momoa.
- [11:21]
Duncan Trussell
The answer is no. You will not go be. No.
- [11:23]
Aaron
And his hair just floating and floating in there.
- [11:26]
Duncan Trussell
He's. They're looking at each other. Everyone bonded in a way. No one on Earth has ever been bonded. Very. Only astronauts are bonded that way. And. And people who get abducted by aliens and they're all looking at each other and like, yeah, no, no, I'm afraid I don't have that level of confidence.
- [11:44]
Aaron
Talking balls float up like he's jump rope.
- [11:46]
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, because they've. Yeah, you just see his massive hog FL happen against this spacesuit. No way. So anyway, the point is, I just am a little surprised that people are surprised that super rich people seem like aliens because they basically. They are, in a way. They don't live in the same world that most of us live in, you know, And. Yeah, they just don't. So I think over time, you get sort of a distortion field happening where. And especially if, like, your. Your only sort of connection to the world is like, other rich people, you know, that you're just. You're going into these, like, you know, like. Oh, my God. I'll show you. This is another example of it. Pull up. Oh, God. Hold on. Let me see. Do you guys know the name? It's a new thing they're doing. It's like seasteading. Pull up. Seasteading. Josh, let me see if I can find this seasteading.
- [12:53]
Aaron
Like that.
- [12:54]
Duncan Trussell
No, sea seasteading. It's these rich people who are going like, it's rich, wealthy libertarians who are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I want to find. Go to the Seasteading Institute. Maybe they'll have a link to. Or just. You know what? I'm sorry. Google man stays underwater longer than Anyone? Somebody just broke the world record here. Yeah, it might be that. No Florida signed. Fuck. I'm going to find this. That's it. Okay, look up Rudiger Coke.
- [13:30]
Josh Cabaza
Coke. Rutgercock. Rutgercock.
- [13:37]
Duncan Trussell
Rudiger Cock. Yeah, this dude. Yeah. Okay, pull up, pull this up.
- [13:43]
Aaron
The video.
- [13:44]
Duncan Trussell
Any of them? Yeah, it's really cool. But basically this is like a new concept for how to escape the oppression of whatever culture you're sick of living in. And you invest in Bitcoin at the right time. You build your little fucking trailer thing out in the sea. You put up that. You put up a picture of Dave Attell and that's it. You just sort of lay around underwater. You got your peloton. You look at fish and eat really fucking good food. Your chef comes down, gives you some fucking coffee. Just sit there and eat. And that's it. It's pretty much what you do. And then you break a world record. It's got to be the easiest world record to break on fucking Earth. Just give me like Elden Ring, World of Warcraft, Ketamine. I won't even know I'm down there. See, look, he's playing World of Warcraft, drinking champagne. But yeah, this is like another version of like, now look up wheat. Look up, look up Rudiger Koch. Go to his website because it's Ocean Builders. Yeah, go to click on Ocean Builders. It's really funny. Scroll up a little bit, Josh. Right, right. Ocean Builders officially. Wait. Yeah, click on Ocean Builders. I want to show you that. So these guys are trying to like, create like a. A business model here. Go to the actual YouTube channel. Ocean Builders. Check this out. You guys, these guys. So basically, these guys want to like, essentially start this new thing where they build these little houses out in the middle of like, just outside of whatever fucking line you need to be seapods. And I don't think the same laws apply to you out there, so you could just strangle your fucking housekeeper. I guess you can't murder in international waters, but you don't wanna be like, you do fucked up shit out there. Go back to that. Yeah. And then, okay, click on Life. It's different on cpod. So this is like one of their selling points. I guess that's what you do in the day. You don't have a yard. You just go stand out there and let the fucking wind blow your, like, $50 trillion, whatever the fuck that is. And you dance, you dance, you dance. People are on the shore. People. There's like bodies on the shore for Whatever civil war is happening. And you dance and you go down your steps and it's beautiful. And like the mangrove swamp, you people are peering out there hoping that some scrap of your sushi will float to shore. But, you know, this is what I'm saying. This is the, this is like when you're. You invested in crypto, you did whatever, you, you played the game right, and, you know, now you live in a nice kind of, I don't know, basically like a mid kind of apartment. I mean, that, that would be a shit apartment anywhere else. But the fact that it's surrounded by ocean makes it really nice. And you go down your little tunnel, you want to break from the wife, the kids, you just go down and look at fish underneath. And that's it. That's your seapod eco. And so this is kind of the solution. This is like, you know, the wealthy are beginning to realize that people seem to be catching on to this sort of like, there's more of us than you, and so they gotta figure it out. And so it's the moon, it's Mars. Or you go like just offshore with a seapod, which no doubt will eventually have machine gun turrets or like release a swarm of drones that will shoot tranq darts or whatever into the people attacking you. But again, I feel like we've sort of. We need to have some more compassion for these people. Not like compassion in the normal sense, but at least in understanding. You can't expect people who have, for the last 20 years have not thought about, you know, whether or not their house is going to get repossessed or if they're ever going to have a house or if they're going to have food or, you know, metal if they. People who can't. People who don't think about medical care expenses, who, like, when they go to the doctor, the doctor doesn't even say how much it's going to cost because it's like, you know, like when you go to a really nice restaurant, they're like, they won't even tell you how much it costs and you don't care. It's like that. So you can't expect those people to act like normal is all. That's all I'm saying. But I do feel like we're going to start seeing more and more space tourism. There will be a disaster, of course.
- [18:55]
Aaron
I wonder if people get. Are more exposed to getting cancer because of the radiation up there. They're not like protected by. And so all these billionaires just start getting, you know.
- [19:04]
Duncan Trussell
Well, I mean, Again, these are the considerations. You're not going to even that. See, you. You're thinking like that because you got kids. You. You're like, you know, survive, and you're living life. You're a dad. You got fucking a lot of balls. You're juggling. You're thinking that shit. Katy Perry's not thinking that. She doesn't know what the Van Allen radiation Belt is. She. If you told her, you know, you should be careful about the Van Allen radiation belt, she would think you meant some kind of, like, boutique Y fashion belt. And she'd be like, I gotta remember not to buy a Van Allen radiation belt because it's radioactive. She probably wouldn't know that the protection offered by the Earth is not gonna happen in the Bezos, like phallic expulsion. Cause that is the other thing. I mean, not to keep going on and on here, but I think you do kind of have to look at. Let's look at the jet, the Bezos rocket launch. Because I think we do have to kind of take it to the Freudian level here to really understand exactly what's going on is no different. I think that's one of the points I'd like to make today, to calm people down a little bit, is it's easy to look at the world and freak the fuck out. But none of this is new. Can we watch the launch? There you go. Blue Origin's recent launch humiliated Jeff Bezos. So, I mean, we don't have to show too much of this. But it's a dick. Like, obviously that's.
- [20:27]
Aaron
Oh, he put all these ladies in his dick.
- [20:29]
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, he put a bunch of chicks in his dick. Like, this is just what happens when you're rich. You know, like, pause it right there. So, like, this is obviously a Freudian. And I know Freud was famously said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And I know sometimes a rocket is just a rocket, but when at the very tip of the rocket, there are just hot ladies with their boobies floating about, shrieking in orgasmic delight, let's face it, this is some kind of deep repressed, billionaire sexual energy manifesting as Jeff Bezos. But Bezos cock impregnating outer space with hotties. That's what it is. And now it's circumcised, too. And it's circumcised. So there's, you know, there's a little bit of cultural commentary there, too.
- [21:27]
Aaron
Yeah, you figure less wind resistance if it's not. You know what I mean? You got the extra. But no, he's like, no circumcised.
- [21:34]
Duncan Trussell
So yeah, and let's face this, this. So nothing's new. There have been dick swinging contests between the super wealthy since there has been dicks and wealth. Pull up Elon Musk rocket. That massive rocket. So Elon Musk, he's like, yeah, okay, great. You're going to send up your little circumcised dick with some bitches in there. Look what I'm going to do. Look up the big ass rocket. His rocket. Look at that. Uncircumcised. Look at that fucking shit. So the other billionaire is like, oh, okay, you're going to put up your little lady dick. Let me show you something. Let me show you what I got. Here it goes. Check it out. Yeah, look at that.
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Aaron
Not circumcised.
- [22:31]
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, with some kind of, I don't know, like additional shit. Like it's been body modified.
- [22:37]
Aaron
He has rings on it.
- [22:38]
Duncan Trussell
That's a big black fucking. That's a multicolored ring dick with fucking.
- [22:46]
Aaron
Animated black.
- [22:47]
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, yeah, look at that. Oh, watch out. So you know, and everyone's cheering his dick. That's exactly what secretly we would all love. That's exactly the reaction I like if I took my pants off. A whole room full of people cheering. That'll never happen.
- [23:06]
Aaron
But yeah, look, they broke through the filament.
- [23:10]
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, they broke through the filament. That's just impregnated. You know, this is all the same thing. It's all. Now pull up Washington Monument. There you go. This is just a classic move that dudes have been doing for a long time. We like to put our dicks on display. Not our literal dicks, but these phalluses that indicate power. And then pull up Egyptian obelisks. This has been going on forever. You know, this is just classic rich people behavior. The Pharaohs. From the Pharaohs to the founding fathers, from the founding fathers to our current billionaires. What do they all have in common? They like to show off they're dicks, but they're not their actual dicks. They build statues. You will never know what they're. Hopefully none of us will know what any of their dicks look like. But that's what's going on. Nothing new under the sun. And I think it's a really important thing to realize right now. Otherwise you're going to everyone. I've just been encountering this level of freaked out people that is just. It bums me out a little bit, to be honest with you. Like a lot of anxiety, a lot of People out there who just seem legitimately like, you know, lost in space and. But, you know, and not to say there isn't fucked up shit going on, there always is. But if you forget that, then you start thinking this is the most fucked up time. And if you start thinking this is the most fucked up time, then you might, I don't know, overreact. Now let me look in my. The comments. I have no doubt we have some brilliant obla dick. Thank you. Happy Blippi. Two balls, Joe Santo. Rub it in, baby. Rub it in. I only got one ball. Doesn't bother me. I don't care. Made a bunch of kids. Still works. Never did bother me.
- [25:21]
Aaron
The right ball went on.
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Duncan Trussell
That's what I think. I think, yeah, one of the ball, they were like in an argument and one just stabbed the other when I was sleeping. But it doesn't really bother. It doesn't, it doesn't bother me the way I. I didn't even think it would bother me, to be honest.
- [25:37]
Aaron
You didn't want a prosthetic?
- [25:39]
Duncan Trussell
Hell no, I didn't want a prosthetic.
- [25:42]
Aaron
Ball with Bluetooth and you press it and it just starts playing like as you.
- [25:45]
Duncan Trussell
They didn't have it then. Oh, they didn't have the Bluetooth option. I would have thought about it for sure if, like now if they have. Honestly. Did they actually have that? Are you with me?
- [25:53]
Aaron
Yeah. And you're able to talk to it?
- [25:55]
Duncan Trussell
You're.
- [25:56]
Aaron
You gotta get real close.
- [25:57]
Duncan Trussell
Hold on, Josh. Are you with a.
- [25:59]
Aaron
It's only one ball, man. It's iPhones. And you put the ball in and you, you press the ball like that and it was. And then.
- [26:07]
Duncan Trussell
Don't mock a one bald man. You ever heard that, Willie Nelson? No. No. For real, though, you know, as this body modification technology advances, if a prosthetic testicle appears, I have room in my body for something extra. Like I have seen the wetworks transhumanists who just like, like basically sew a hotel key card into their fucking arm or whatever. I'm not going to do that. But I do have room for. Based on like the computing power that we have right now, I'd say in like five years I could have a full on like Mac Pro in my ball. And at that point, yeah, I would be open to it. As long as I'm somehow certain that, that it's not going to like, you know, leak microplastics into my body, then yeah. In other words, if I could start my car with my dick, I would love that. And never Lose my keys again. If, like, the fucking stupid password shit on my phone. I just had to hold the phone by the ball and it would unlock it.
- [27:11]
Aaron
That would be perfect. You just walk up to your car and wipe your balls across it.
- [27:15]
Duncan Trussell
Amazing.
- [27:15]
Aaron
Or you go to Heb and you go.
- [27:17]
Duncan Trussell
Or a little double click, double click.
- [27:20]
Aaron
I want hands free.
- [27:21]
Duncan Trussell
I honestly do. Because people are gonna think you're doing that gross ball grope thing people do. It just never fails to make me sick. Ball groping. Dudes, what is that? You know I'm talking about that weird yank. Like, I'm not saying we don't have to adjust. And look, maybe I don't know that anymore because I only have one. I have 50 less to adjust. And there wasn't much to adjust already, but, like, so maybe y'all have big ass balls and it's a serious moment, and you're trying to be discreet, but I wish you'd be more discreet. Nobody wants to see you rearrange in your scrotum. You know, I go to the bathroom, please. Yeah, you're making us all hard. We're just trying to eat at Chili's, you know? And look at you.
- [28:03]
Aaron
The problem is, if you jerk off, you might lock, unlock, lock, unlock your car or call somebody on accident because it's going back and forth.
- [28:12]
Duncan Trussell
God damn, you're totally right. First of all, I do think that what you. Okay, the difference between people like us and Jeff Bezos is you just say a thing like that offhand. Yeah, that'd be cool if we could have prosthetic testicles that also had some kind of, like, RFID capacity, some kind of Bluetooth connection, and then we'll just forget about it, like, in 10 minutes, we will never think about it again. But someone like Jeff Bezos has that idea and calls a friend because he has also. He has a ton of money. He's like, hey, I want to invest a million dollars into having some kind of, like, I don't know, Bluetooth prosthetic testicles people could use to unlock their cars. And then it gets made. And you better believe someone who's finding out their balls getting chopped off when they hear, yeah, but we're going to turn you into a fucking cyborg. Is going to say yes over some stupid ass little jelly thing like that? Yes, dude. I mean, I don't know why that has not been invented yet. Will you Google Bluetooth prosthetic testicle? That's got to be out there already. Just go. Yeah. It doesn't currently exist. A bluetooth operated prosthetic testicle doesn't currently exist as a standard medical device. Vice. What the fuck? That's crazy. I think you've stumbled upon. I guarantee someone watching has already patented that. There's got to be a reason that doesn't work. It's probably because it's like, it's too heavy.
- [29:40]
Aaron
Yeah.
- [29:41]
Duncan Trussell
And that's going to up your, like, everything. You can't wear short shorts at yoga because you're prosthetic cyborg bald.
- [29:49]
Aaron
I think it'd be a heat thing and.
- [29:51]
Duncan Trussell
A heat thing. That's what it is. It's a heat thing. Yeah. Wait, see? There's the dude who came up with your idea. Click on that. There you are.
- [30:02]
Aaron
I think that's me.
- [30:04]
Duncan Trussell
See what this. You can buy Joe Rogan's podcast episodes, but there are apparently prosthetic jewels for your family. Jewels. Multiple reasons why someone may be. Okay. Turn this off. Turn this off. Get. What do you do? Get out. Get it. Get that. God damn it. All right, let's go back to the chat anyway. We got a little distracted there.
- [30:24]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [30:56]
Duncan Trussell
Hey, Kristen, how's it tracking with Carvana Value Tracker? What else? Oh, it's tracking, in fact. Value surge alert. Trucks up 2.5%, vans down 1.7. Just as predicted. Mm. So we gonna. I don't know. Could sell. Could hold the power to always know our car's worth. Exhilarating, isn't it? Tracking Always know your car's worth with Carvana Value Tracker. What is that? What is that verse in the Bible? Was it Solomon? Nothing new under the sun. What's that Bible verse?
- [31:43]
Aaron
I'm not sure.
- [31:44]
Duncan Trussell
Oh, it's Ecclesiastes. What has been will be again. What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun. The word of the teacher, Son of David King in Jerusalem. Meaningless. Meaningless, says the teacher. Utterly meaningless. Everything is meaningless. What do people gain from all their labors which they toil under the sun, generations come and generations go. But the earth remains forever. The sun rises and the sun sets and hurries back to where it rises. The wind blows to the south and turns to the north. Round and round it goes. All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. The place the streams come from there they return again. All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear it's full of hearing. What has been will be it again. What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say? Look, this is something new. It was here already long ago. It was here before our time. No one remembers the former generations and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them. That brings us perfectly. Pull up the pyramid. Shit. Now, by now we understand this is bullshit, or a lot of people think it's bullshit. But the long and short of it is for those of you who've missed this, missed the boat on this. But let me preface this by how I started thinking about this again. Like, you know, the mind, the human mind is. Can be such an asshole. And for whatever reason, after having this bizarre dream of flying in an airplane, sitting like I'd gotten on the wrong plane. I was sitting next to some lady who said we were flying to some place in Canada and I knew I wasn't going to Canada, but she was kind of cute. Sorry, Aaron is a dream and I'm sitting there with her and anyway, I wake up from that dream thinking about the pyramids and thinking about some article I had read proposing that the actual location of the Garden of Eden was where the great pyramids are. You better believe I didn't fact check it because I didn't want to find out it was wrong. I just thought that was cool. It's probably wrong. Could have been written by anybody. It could have been written by like a 9 year old. Easily just some blog post by a 9 year old, I don't know. But then I started thinking about this sphinx and how the sphinx. Will you pull up a picture of the sphinx? S P H I N X. Now look at that. Then I started thinking how everyone's like, that's the head of a lion and it's a snake. It's like a cobra. And then I started thinking, oh my God, this sphinx is the serpent they were talking about in the Garden of Eden. Because in the book of Genesis, weirdly like the punishment for the snake is it has to Crawl and slither, implying it used to have fucking legs. So then, you know, then I'm thinking, holy shit, that really is the Garden of Eden. And the pyramids are some kind of capstone placed over the Tree of Knowledge. Like, that's so dumb. And this is like 2:00am I'm thinking this and I can't go back to sleep. So then I have to start looking up everything because I'm not sleeping. When I wake up with these kinds of thoughts, it's over. Which brought me to re explore this scanning technology that they use to look underneath the pyramids. Maybe zoom it. Like, don't play any sound, but play it a little bit. So for those of you guys who haven't seen this, I'm sure most of you have, this is essentially like a wet dream for people like us. Like that they use some kind of radar and found structures under the pyramids. Not just structures, but like 2km down, there's these tubes with circular, with spiral passageways going down to some base underneath that leads up to other underground structures. Like, this is far. This is almost on par with like, you know, aliens are real. This guy's as excited as all of us are. But yeah, that's, you know, a recreation of what this. They probably aren't going to show the actual radar image, but you can let it roll for a second. This is every. This is every one of us in our fucking studios rambling about pyramids. Scroll, let's see. Just scroll forward. I want, I want to find the actual radar image. There. Go back a little bit. Go back. Yeah, yeah, click on that. The red and blue shit. Not that. It's that. Stop it. Okay, so this is like the structures that they're talking about now. Again, let me really reiterate here. I knew when this story was coming out that this was probably hot horseshit. And because when I first saw it, I thought, well, maybe. And then like the next day I was looking up, I was expecting this to be all over the Internet and everywhere. Like, my God, this is like one of the most incredible discoveries ever. We all knew there was some shit under there, but who knows what? And a lot of scientists who understand this kind of radar have come out to say that this is what happens when you use the wrong band of a radar to scan stuff that that radar cannot penetrate two kilometers under the ground. And yet you look at that and that's noise that it's picking up, the red stuff. That is not structures under the pyramids. That's noise. And yet you look at it and there does seem to be some kind of symmetry there. There does seem to be enough that you could definitely start, like, you can get a lot of like stoner pussies squirting. And, but then, and who knows if we're, if we, if we, if this is fake or whatever. It's fake. But then that got me thinking, like, holy shit, are those Tesla coils? Like, whoa. What if all the stuff Edgar Cayce was saying or like all of the fringe Egyptologists was true and that the pyramids were power stations and down there is some kind of bizarre Egyptian Tesla coils? Go ahead and play this thing. These things are the coolest ever. Look at that giant ass Tesla coil, which is just crazy. And Tesla, he thought that there would be a way to connect networks of these Tesla coils, that he thought that you could build these all over the planet and by like, you know, using them to disrupt the ionosphere or something, you could send signals instantly all around the planet. Like, this is like early phase harp. Now look up, like Tesla coil tower. He actually wanted to do this. And then they tore this fucking thing down. Look at this thing. He built this. This used to exist. Imagine living next to this thing. Maybe, I don't know. Click on Tesla Tower, Wikipedia. A lot of people are gonna say this is like mud, flood, stuff that. Yeah. Wardenclyffe Tower, also known as the Tesla Tower, was an early experimental wireless transmission station designed and built by Nikola Tesla on Long Island. Located in the village of Shoreham, New York, Tesla intended to transmit messages, telephony and even facsimile images. Faxing. Tesla was already thinking about faxing across the Atlantic Ocean to England and to ships at sea, based on his theories of using the Earth to conduct the signals. His decision to increase the scale of the facility and implement his ideas of wireless power transfer to better compete with. Gugael Marconi, you bitch. Marconi's radio based telegraph system was met with refusal to fund the changes by the project's primary backer, J.P. morgan. Additional investments could not be found and the project was abandoned in an attempt to satisfy Tesla's debts. Again, just think about that. This is the guy who is responsible for much of what we experience as modern life. And he was so in fucking debt, he had to sell his badass Tesla tower. The tower, you know, in these days you could just turn it into like a nightclub or something. Like if. Imagine if that had withstood the test of time. That would be something incredible. It would probably be a Starbucks. In an attempt to. The tower was demolished for scrap and the property taken in foreclosure. For 50 years, Wardenclyffe was a processing facility producing photography supplies. That's what it turned into. That was like humanity's grasping towards something incredible. And now it's just like selling fucking printer ink. But this. Now go back and look at that. Go back to that. Like, scroll. Let him see Wardenclyffe again. Like, scroll up. Yeah, okay. Look at that. Now go back and look at the recreation of what that radar picked up. Scroll back a little bit to that thing. Yeah, look at that. It's like, whoa. Is that what the Egyptians were doing where they're, like, trying to build. They figure out how to build Tesla coils underground using some Earth EMF frequency or something, and then blast that shit out of the pyramids to communicate with other cultures. All over the planet was this early phase. Radio, Internet, were they broadcasting from there? And then that leads to. Pull up Library under the Sphinx again. This is like. This is what I'm thinking at, like, 2:00am, I guess. Go back. This is all. Edgar Cayce said this shit. This is all fringy stuff. But basically there's some, you know, dream that this. Underneath the hall of Records beneath the Sphinx plot the Jerusalem Post researchers raise questions about the existence of advanced society or the involvement of extraterrestrials in the creation of this enigmatic library. So basically, the idea is somewhere under the pyramids, under the Sphinx, there is the, like, Library of Alexandria. This, like, you know, we already. We have no idea how they build the pyramids. All we've got is that, you know, hieroglyphics. But there's a lot of people who believe that. Yeah. Click on hall of Records beneath the Sphinx, right there. I want to pull up the actual. Here on this side that. It doesn't matter. There's basically hieroglyphics depicting what appears to be a structure under the Sphinx. That. That book really looks legitimate. Come on. If you're gonna do a book about crazy shit, you can do better on the font. Don't do that font. Pull that book up again, please. Sorry, Eric Surkoff, if you're in the chat. But, dude, can you enlarge the fuck. Come on, man.
- [42:54]
Josh Cabaza
Come on.
- [42:55]
Duncan Trussell
You barely tried on that font. That's Photoshop. That's not good Photoshop. You did it in. What is it called? You look at him with his fucking bowl. He's like, I scuba dive. I don't do Photoshop. Come on, go back to the front of the bed. This is ridiculous. You know that font, like, you know, you see a font, it turns into a voice, you know, and that voice sounds like the Spanx and secret Atlantis hall records. We need a serious font. Edgar Cayce, a psychic known for his life readings, claimed that a hall of records built by refugees from Atlantis existed beneath the Sphinx. The hall was said to hold historic records and artifacts from a distant prehistory. But aside from this recent radar scan, which is being debunked left and right, we do know that there have been previous legitimate scans showing that there does appear to be all kinds of chambers and hidden tunnels underneath the pyramids. And who knows what's in those things. But dude, all of this made me think our idea of records is based on scrolls and papyrus and stuff like that. Like, who knows what's down there? Maybe their idea of records was some connection to the stars that they could transmit or receive data from. I don't know. Anyway, again, this is like 3am thoughts? I don't know if any of this is true. Seth Rotol says Sid Barrett is down there. If anyone deserved a funeral beneath the pyramids, it was Sid Barrett. For sure. I would be. I would fund that. I would support that. I would definitely contribute to that Kickstarter. I mean, look, all of this stuff is fringe bullshit, basically. But no matter what, you still have those things out there in the desert. And not just those things out in the desert. You have the Mesoamerican pyramids and the theoretical pyramids in Antarctica. I mean, there. There are so many versions of these structures out there that all seem to have some kind of bizarre sacred geometry. Pull up, new ruins show up from earthquake. Did you guys see this fucking thing yet? That Myanmar. Look at this shit, friends. Big ass earthquake. And look what emerges. Just click heritage daily at the very top there, this one. I just want them to see this image. Look at this. Just buried. Buried under piles and piles of mud of a temple. Just people were taking shits on it, walking on top of it. Their dogs were pissing on it. No one even knew it was there buried. And then this earthquake happens. And in that crack you just get a little glimpse of some kind of fucking temple down there. Like, what happened? Did they bury it? Pause it for a second. Just pause on that picture. I mean, did someone bury it? No. You know how much time that would take and how pissed you'd have to be to be like, dude, bury that fucking temple. Like, don't break it down. Don't just. We're going to bear it. We're going to put a hill on top of it. Look at all that mud. And just, you know, you got to think like, if you're going to build a fucking temple, you know you did that. That wasn't built in a day. I couldn't do that in a thousand days. Just that little piece of it. If someone's like, just imitate that. I couldn't do that. So all I'm saying is that used to be really important to somebody. And then no one even knew it was there. These people are like, what? What is this thing? Kids used to go there. It was some kind of important temple structure. Priests went there and taught the dharma of whatever those people were. And it just gets covered up with mud and no one even remembers not. I don't know what that is.
- [47:22]
Aaron
What if it was the great flood?
- [47:23]
Duncan Trussell
Well, that brings us to the next fringe. Fucking stoner shit. I want to share with you guys. See, this is what happens when I don't go on the news sites as I just gather this weird stoner shit. Pull up the Noah's Ark. New study on Noah's Ark which I've always just thought Noah's ark was like a parable. I never. How do you take that seriously? Pull up the New York Post. New evidence supports myth of Noah's Ark as boat shaped formation dates back to biblical floods. A recent discovery has led some experts to believe they found the fossil of Noah's ark. Researchers have found that a boat shaped mound long believed by the faithful to be Noah's ark was most likely submerged underwater during a devastated devastating flood some 5,000 years ago. The international team of experts has been working since 2021 to study the dura panar formation. Now look, scroll down to the thing because you do. I mean, it's Noah's Ark. What? Really? Like simple, drunk, got a bunch of animals on a boat and floated around. It's impossible to believe this.
- [48:30]
Aaron
What are these animals right here?
- [48:31]
Duncan Trussell
What? They didn't make it on?
- [48:33]
Aaron
Nope. Look, they're flying away.
- [48:34]
Duncan Trussell
I know. They're assholes. They should have gotten on. They're like, we can fly. We don't need your stupid ark, you drunk piece of shit. Scroll down, scroll down to the formation. You got to see this, you guys. It looks like a boat. It looks exactly like the silly boat and all the silly Noah's ark pictures. You see, they found coral too. They found like, you know. Anyway, look, I don't know. I can't believe in Noah's. I just like there's so many things that I'm willing to accept, but Noah's ark. It's real hard for me to look at the size of that thing. And like, I'm sorry, you're not getting, you're gonna get a couple elephants on there.
- [49:14]
Aaron
Maybe I thought it really wasn't a boat, but it was a sample of each one from an ancient civilization and they called it Noah's Ark. But it was really just like a small like DNA sample of everything.
- [49:25]
Duncan Trussell
You think Noah's taking DNA samples?
- [49:27]
Aaron
I don't. I think Noah is a corporation and that's what took the samples.
- [49:31]
Duncan Trussell
What? What? What?
- [49:33]
Aaron
Yeah, there was corporations back in the day. There was ancient civilizations. And when the whole flood happened, they, someone to Mars, someone underwater. And now they're guiding us because we're like this, the, the, the Neanderthals that lived or whatever, the humans that lived and they're guiding us. And that's why we have stair step evolution with writing and then, you know, all the other stuff. And now we're getting AI and other stuff.
- [49:57]
Duncan Trussell
I love you, man. Maybe. Look, I don't know. I don't know. The older you get, the less, you know. And you know, I, I think the, the sort of modern day secular's perspective on things is a sort of psychological force field to not deal with the reality of existence, which is so bizarre already. Like having to contend with all the things that Josh just said, or having to contend with the things Graham Hancock talks about, or having to just contend with the very existence of the pyramids. You want to reduce everything to some kind of mundane form so you don't have to reckon with the reality of unpredictable cataclysms. You want your cataclysms to be predictable. Nobody wants to talk about the reality of change on this planet and that in surprising change and the mud flood Tartaria people, they've sort of zoomed in on that aspect of living on planet Earth. Most people want to look at the federal government or wars and rumors of war.
- [51:03]
Aaron
The connection's unstable right now. It just said, I'm sorry. I think I did that. I apologize.
- [51:08]
Duncan Trussell
What'd you do?
- [51:09]
Aaron
I said what I said and then it went unstable.
- [51:13]
Duncan Trussell
You think somebody at YouTube was like, he can't talk about that.
- [51:17]
Aaron
Maybe that's what people are saying on the chat. Big Noah shut us down.
- [51:25]
Josh Cabaza
Well, there you go folks.
- [51:27]
Duncan Trussell
Now you have it there.
- [51:27]
Josh Cabaza
Now you can see it. For those of you cynical, skeptical, those of you out there still living inside the Matrix prison don't want to admit the fact that we are being controlled by unknown invisible forces that want to moderate the Natural conversation that humans should be having every single, single day regarding Noah's Ark. The Ark Corporation, the collection of semen from all the animals in the world which then placed in the great pyramids of Giza and all the stories of Tartaria. Now you can see right there live, we were shut down by the New World Order. Global Globalani Elite Global Alani Globalani Illuminati Opera clearly were monitoring our live feed in the moment Josh red pilled us regarding Noah's Ark being a corporation more than a boat. They shut us down, folks. They would not let us continue. But we will march forward. We will fight. We will not be deterred. We will share the stories of the actual Noah's Corporation. We'll talk about how they didn't have maternity leave. We'll talk about when the workers went on strike. And most importantly, we will not be daunted by the Deep State operatives who want to keep bearded bald stoners and their producers from talking about the things that women want to hear most. I've dedicated this channel to appealing to those ladies out there who can't find good footage of stoners talking about UFOs, aliens, pyramids, etc, And I want whoever's watching this right now, whatever NSA operative, whoever's over at Hillary Clinton's mansion in charge of destabilizing the Internet connection to the DTFH. Who knows, could be Mr. Beast himself. That you will not stop us. We will continue forward. We will march forward. We will continue, continue proclaiming the truth of the great Mud flood the structures under the pyramids, Tesla and billionaire Cox. And we're going to keep doing it until the end of time. Now back to the originally recorded podcast.
- [53:52]
Duncan Trussell
For those of you who are my dear listeners and you can't see some of the stuff we put up here, I want to remind you we do have a YouTube channel where you could have watched this live. You could have seen the ups and downs of streaming, which we're just figuring out right now. For some reason, even though we're wired directly into the Internet with an Ethernet cable, our connection is unstable. It's trying to reconnect and it doesn't know how. But because we're unfamiliar with streaming live on YouTube, we're afraid to refresh because we'll think we'll lose everything. You see, this is the modern age. And I'm sure people had a printing press. This. There was some printing press version of this. The ink would. I don't know what. What it would be. I'm sorry. I want this podcast this new version of the DTFH to be flawless, seamless, and more than that, advanced. I want people to see this podcast and feel inspired to start their own podcast. And that's kind of what I wanted to talk about before I talked about all this silly mud flood shit. Came to my attention that there's only 30 podcasts in the world right now. And, you know, I get it, we're busy. A lot of you are more interested in oil painting or writing, exercising. But I do want to invite anyone out there listening to maybe take the leap into podcasting. Do it. We need more. Don't let the fact that there's only 30 or 36 bearded, bald dudes talking about the pyramids out there. And you stop. You. You know the reason there's not more of us. I don't even know why I think people are. This is the. This is what I. And this. And I don't mean to alienate anybody, but this goes out to all the bearded bald men out there who like to smoke weed. People want to hear what you have to say about the pyramids. People want to hear what you have to say about politics. People need to hear what you have to say about religion. And people are dying for your take on current events. And if y'all out there who are listening continue to turn your backs on the culture the way that you are, then I feel like you're being selfish. And I know this not just because from the, you know, the awards I get every week. What award did we just get this week? For this. For this. For my podcast golden app, the Redfin Golden Apple Award. But one thing I know just from, like, you know, and sometimes this is hard, and I'm sorry, Aaron, if you're watching, I don't mean to get personal here, but, you know, I come home after doing this. I'm exhausted. This drains me. The energy it takes to talk about this stuff is, like, intense. And you could see my legs are shaking right now. And I get home, I'm sure this probably happens to you, Josh, but I walk through the door, I just want to sit down and rest. Sometimes I weep. Sometimes I weep. And Erin runs to me and she says, duncan, Duncan, can you please talk to me about the structures under the pyramids? Please? I saw something on the Internet, but I don't fully understand it. And I wonder if maybe we could just sit down and you could spend the next couple of hours talking to me about not just the pyramids, but the Sphinx and the secret library that might be underneath the Sphinx. And Maybe if you have the energy, throw in some stuff about AI. And I'm so tired and I love her so much, but I just, you know, I don't have the energy and I have to tell her. It's hard. I have to say, Aaron, oh, my love, I would. I so want to talk to you. I want to explain some of these things to you, these deep things, these important things, these profound things. But I am tired. I am tired. And sometimes we sob together. This is the reality, I guess, of living in late stage capitalism is that we have to find a way to find that balance, to not just give ourselves fully to our podcasts, but to give ourselves fully to our marriage. And every woman out there is so hungry and thirsty for this wisdom. Every woman out there longs. They long into the depths of their hearts to hear about the pyramids, the construction of the pyramids, the mystery of the pyramids, where the pyramids are located, maybe even something about the Napoleonic wars that happened near the pyramids, around the pyramids. But I guess I'm just asking for help. I can't do it all. And I'd just love it if some of you guys out there are man up, get a camera, let people know your thoughts on these things. Because the world is hungry and we must feed it with our love. I'm sorry about the technical error. We live in a world where change is inevitable. We live in a world where instability is the norm. Nobody wants to think about it, but we are all plunging towards the great unknown we call death. Falling out in a strange trajectory from the dripping vaginas of our mothers. Our mothers fucked so hard by our fathers. Our mothers who once lay legs asunder. Our fathers bare buttocks pumping, flexing, shoving hard and deep. Filling our mothers up. Filling them up not just with their pulsating penises, but with hope and love.
- [61:01]
Aaron
It kicked us out. It kicked us out at the end.
- [61:08]
Duncan Trussell
Did you record that stuff, though?
- [61:10]
Aaron
Yeah, I recorded it all here.
- [61:11]
Duncan Trussell
Okay, cool. Because that was really important what I just said. Happy Easter, everybody. I'll see you next week. We're going to do another live one next week. We're going to figure out how to update and get this thing working. I don't know, maybe it is something I said. Maybe I destabilize the algorithm.
- [61:27]
Aaron
They literally said as soon as the Noah stuff that I said cut it.
- [61:30]
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, maybe the algorithm picked up on some conspiracy shit and kicked us. I don't know. We'll figure it out. Until next week. I love you. Don't forget, ad free episodes like and subscribe Leave a comment I love you. Goodbye.
- [61:43]
Ryan Seacrest
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