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Duncan Trussell
The North Pole used to be green it was covered in flowers and beautiful trees flowing with rivers and laughing streams that you could drink right out of all but they changed Nothing on earth can remain the same yeah, they change Nothing will remain the same. See them with their trees dying in their homes Ask them why they do it they'll tell you they don't know See them take their children to a shopping mall to meet a false prophet Claiming to be set to clown. Things have changed oh yes, they change. If they knew the real story they wouldn't say his name Ignorance is bliss but gather out your grit I'll tell you the true story of grace. What's up? Welcome to the DTFH live. Hi everybody. Hope you guys are doing great. What you just heard, I'm incredibly excited about. It's in process and I know that probably when you're making something, you shouldn't play it before it's done. Quite often I do that. Never finish the damn thing. But this I'm trying to get done before Christmas. It's the band Cat. It's my solo band, Cavern of the Pig Emperor and that's Cavern of the Pig Emperor Christmas, which is the actual story of Santa Claus. So that was just the first few tracks from it. There's over 230 tracks in my mind for the album. It's going to take me some time to get all those done and. Yeah, there. Did you get. Yeah, there it is. That's the COVID that we're working with right now. Cavern of the Pig Emperor Christmas. It's going to be incredible. My guess is that this will be one of the last DTFH episodes I do because as soon as this thing hits Spotify, I'm going to be invited to New York. They're going to want to make it into a Broadway show starring me, which is a problem because I am not a great singer and what I've been doing, which is just amazing. And I'm you for you anti AI people out there. I legitimately want to know your opinion on this. What is your feeling? Because like with Suno AI, what you could do now and you could do this for a while with it, but you can get it to generate a song with lyrics that you wrote, remove the lyricist and then sing your own. Like your. Put your own voice on it. Just record your own voice. Is that still up? I'm curious, what do you think about that? For those of you who don't give a, I don't either. But I am curious what level of fear and trembling what blowback I'm gonna get if I write the lyrics, record my own voice, but don't do the music because I don't have time to learn how to play guitar, piano, and all the things this thing does in, like, one minute. I feel like I can write lyrics no problem. And I think it's funny if I try to sing very difficult things to sing for a Christmas album, that's funny to me. The shittier it sounds, the funnier that is to me. But as far as the composition of the music, forget it. Like, there's just no way. And there's no way I'm gonna, like, get a band to do it for me. I don't even know where to start with that. And even if I did, I can't afford that. I got three kids, one on the way. It would cost so much money. It would take till next year if I want to get this album out. My goal being, I don't know, sometime before Christmas next week, then I can't get a band. So what about. What do you. What do you anti AI people think about that? You can leave it in the comments down below, but I'm not going to read it as the problem because I've gone back to my no reading comments policy mostly. Which brings me into something I wanted to tell you guys about. Fascinating thing happened to me. Really weird. Like, I don't know, five days ago, something like that, maybe. Let me give you some backstory here, guys. Aaron, my wonderful wife is inches away from blasting the next trussel out of her vagina into timespace. And so, you know, what that means is that we're trying to get her to wind down. And that is not an easy thing to do. She's a very ambitious, focused person, always doing shit. She goes to Costco, dude. Like, what? Fuck that. I actually went with her to Costco because, again, I've got to go into full servant mode here. And I just. I don't know, man. I'm still shook from that experience. It's just messed up in there, dude. It's messed up. I can't even. I've thought about. I woke up at night thinking about it. Just the. There's some kind of aggressive energy in Costco. Like, it's hard for me to understand what's going on there. Maybe it's because the carts are too big, but I don't know. Costco rules. Like, I've never been in a place with carts that you could fit a fucking casket in. Like, they probably sell caskets at Costco. So it's like hitting you at all sides 1. You don't want to run into anybody with a cart. I don't want to seem like I don't have my Costco card. I don't. I don't have a card. Aaron does. Yeah, I'm ashamed of that. But there, like, I'm trying to, like, turn off a lot of parts of my, like, sensory input in there because I'm being drawn into, like, the electronics section. I haven't looked at TVs in years. Jesus fucking Christ. Looks like you could walk right into the TV and hang out with the lizards on the tv. Beautiful. Incredible. But then also it's like, whoa, why do they have these weird coffee machines? And then you look and it's like, shitty pants. And then there's Christmas toy. Holy fuck. They're not gonna have good Christmas toys. What the fuck? They've got a fucking pinball machine. You could buy a pinball machine at Costco. So all these things are going through your head. You're overwhelmed. And then some fucking asshole smacks into you with their car, like on purpose. Cause I guess you went too far into whatever the Costco lane is you're not supposed to go on. Which makes Aaron laugh because I'm a Costco noob. She thinks it's funny. And then you start realizing, like, oh, my God, this is hell. This is some version of hell that I'm in right now, that everyone's miserable. They're selling timeshares. They're literally selling. You can buy timeshares, health insurance, life insurance. You can buy all the food you could ever want in your life, flannel shirts. And I think what's happening there is. It's just like a mix of preppers, people from militias up in the country coming down there to like, stock up on canned foods. People who are certain we're on the precipice of the fucking apocalypse mixed in with budget minded parents. It's. We. We got gas at Costco, man. We went into the fucking Costco gas line, which is exactly like some post apocalyptic movie. You're just fucking sit there like. And I'm. You got to do it all right, man. You got to do it. All right. Aaron was explaining it to me. You can't go ahead when you think you would go ahead because there's some code, Costco code, some way you get gas. It's all fucking overwhelming. So that. That's just part of what I've been doing. Like, you know, it's just. I can't Even explain the number of plates I'm trying to spin right now. Then on top of it, you've got like just the normal kind of like catastrophes that happen when you're a householder, you know what I mean? Just like, just crazy fucking shit just happens out of the blue. Water heater fucks up, plumbers have to come, just shit like that. You know what I mean? The fucking. Of course, right when literally at any moment it could happen right now, I should actually turn my phone on that she could go into labor at any fucking second. And of course that's when the heater goes out, you know? Of course. And like, things that just any normal person, you're gonna be like, okay, that sucks, I'll get it fixed. For a pregnant, it's like it feels like there was just a drone strike next door, so. Because when you're nesting and then suddenly it's like, oh, great, with my new baby, the heat's gonna be out, which isn't the worst thing in Texas, but try saying that to a pregnant. Try saying that to a pregnant person. See how that comes out at the end. Try telling someone who could go into labor any moments. Like, you know, we could. We got. We'll just use extra blankets. I mean, it's Texas. Oh, fuck, dude, you'll get your eyeballs ripped out of your fucking head. So that's sort of the universe I'm living in. And actually I like it. It's fun in a kind of brutal way. And just in the sense that it's like you're just on the precipice of, like, God knows what birth, you know, the ancestors come in, spirits come in. It's a mystical thing. It's a portal. It's, you know, the beginning of a life. It's all the mystical stuff is simultaneously happening and it's a wild, wild experience. And so somewhere over the last few weeks, which have been something of a blur for me, I had this thought which was, wow, man, it seems like people right now are less upset, like, online. And then I realized, wait, no, I just haven't been going online. I haven't been going on. I've barely been going online compared to what I was doing. And you guys, I know this is the most basic bitch observation anyone can make these days, but I feel so much better. It's night and day, man. Like the world that I'm living in right now. Having stayed offline, I still dive into a little doom scrolling here and there. Nothing, you know, nothing compared to what I was doing. The world I'm living in now is pretty great. It's busy. Traffic in Austin sucks right now for some reason. Like, people drive like fucking assholes around the holidays. Everyone's stressed out, freaked out into the year, responsibilities. But, whoa, it is so obvious, you know, the Black Plague. Can you. Josh, do you mind just Googling how many people the Black Plague killed? We all know about the Black Plague. It was this horrific global pandemic reduced the Earth's population by a healthy amount. The Black Death, 1346-1353, killed a staggering 75 to 200 million people across Europe, Asia, and Africa, wiping out 30 to 60% of Europe's population, making it history's deadliest pandemic with devastating impacts on society, economy, and culture. Now, we do know. We do know the. One of the cultural impacts, because to this day, kids still sing Ring around the rosy Pocket full of posies Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. They still sing that creepy song. I didn't know that song was a black. Was a Black Death song until I was no longer singing it. When kids are singing it, they mostly don't know that the Ring around the Rosies. These are symptoms of the bubonic plague. Pocket full of posies. They thought that somehow, I think having flowers in your fucking pocket could keep it away. They didn't know the Black Plague was caused by fleas. That was it, just fucking fleas. Because of the Silk Road, we got more connected, and then, boom, this massive disease was just wiping people the fuck out. They didn't know what was going on. And I got to tell you, man, I'm pretty sure the Internet is the technological flea causing a psychic fucking pandemic that is crushing our species, not killing us. Which, by the way, maybe that's worse because with the, you know, you're motivated to figure out what the fuck is causing the bubonic plague. You're sick of smelling that stinky barbecue smell of dead, diseased corpses burning in your village. You don't like it. You don't like the fact that everyone you know has died. You don't like the fact that you. That your doctor wears those creepy fucking stork mas masks they used to wear the. The. The. The ancient version of the COVID mask. Can you pull up those stork masks doctors used? This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by my friends at Squarespace. You must understand by now that sometimes the best way to get things going is just to start doing them. Like. Yeah, sure. You haven't figured out a way to tap into dark matter and create a warp drive that you could manufacture and sell to people all over the world. But that's no reason you shouldn't build a website to sell it. Who knows? Sometimes you do need to put the cart before the horse. Squarespace has everything you need if you want to display your inventions. If you want to sell your inventions, yeah, sure, you could go to some, I don't know, Etsy or something and sell your stuff there. Or you could take your life into your own hands, build your own website for that warp drive. The next dream you might have might actually be the blueprint for the warp drive. Start with a website. Then you might get the warp drive. Start with a website. Even before you fully figured out what your business is. I'm serious. This is just basic friction. Sometimes when you just start moving in the direction of your dreams, miracles happen. Why not just build the website for that thing you've been wanting to do? Why procrastinate? Squarespace gives you everything you need to start that wheel of turning, the wheel of magic, the wheel of karma. You can spin that, baby. Make the Warp Site website or whatever it is. Warp site.com. that's pretty cool. Someone priority took it. If they didn't, you should get it. The point is, Squarespace lets you display all the stuff that you make. It lets you offer services to your clients. It helps you send emails that don't look like, like you're trying to get somebody's bank account information. And even better, it's very easy to use. It is as deep and detailed as you want it to be. Or if you just want to get something up quickly, you can do that too. And now you can use AI. Squarespace has their own AI that will help you design that website. It was already easy, but now it's incredible. Next level, pre singularity style technology. So give it a shot. Go to squarespace.com dunkin Try it out for free. And when you're ready to launch, use Offer Code Duncan to get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Again, it's squarespace.com duncan. Use offer code duncan to get 10% off your first order of a website or a domain. Thank you, Squarespace. At least you know, with the Black Plague, you, you, like, you're you. You want it to end. You know what I mean? People weren't walking around like, yeah, but I need the Black Plague to do my job. Yeah, but I have to have the Black Plague or I'm not going to be able to make money. We have managed to create a kind of parasitic relationship with a technological, for lack of a better word, life form. We don't know. Like, to this day, people aren't really sure if, like, viruses are alive. They could just be like machines. No one's quite sure. Could you pull up a. Like a virus? Just like an electron microscope scan of a virus. Yeah. These little fuckers. No one's quite really like, are they alive? Are they sentient? Do they, you know? Look at that fucking thing. Pick up the. Look at that thing. Open that up. That. Touch that weird thing there. What is that? Is that a machine? Looks like a robot. But the point is we have created a parasitic relationship with technology, with this hyper connected world that we're living in. And I've innovated something. If you want to do it, do it. I think you're going to be. And you got to be very honest when you do it. Sit down and write a list of everyone who bothers you in the world. Just a list. Somebody who fucking hates Trump. Write it down. You pissed off at Putin? Write it down. You think Nick Fuentes is a piece of shit? Write it down. Candace Owens got your goat. Are you worried about Kanye? Whatever it is, just write them all down. Then whatever your fucking uncle, he's a piece of shit. Write it down. Then mark off the list all the people you're never going to fucking meet and the people that are left. That's your problem. Everything else is not your problem. It is irrelevant. None of it matters. You're not going to. You know what you're not going to do? You're not going to have anything to do with whether or not the United States blows the fuck out of Venezuela. You're not going to have anything to do with whether or not there's a peace deal between the Ukraine and Russia. You're not gonna have anything to do with fucking Nick Fuentes. None of it matters. It's completely irrelevant. But it soaks into our minds. It gets into you, man. It doesn't even matter. I used to think that you could approach some of this stuff and not be harmed by it, but I don't even think it's possible. It's like handling plutonium. It doesn't matter. You might think you're the most skeptical person who has just. Who's a master at media literacy, a master at discerning what's real from what isn't real. It doesn't matter. Any interaction with this shit is gonna fuck you up. That's the problem. It's the Most brilliant parasite ever. Because it pretends like there's some possibility of symbiosis, a balanced relationship with it. Like there would be a way, theoretically that this technology could make it so people had to work fewer hours so that people could like enjoy their lives more, so that things were done more efficiently. There could be some way, but it hasn't happened yet. It either makes it so that you are completely trapped, tethered to your company, your job, some group of people spam. It either does that or it makes it so that you actually end up working more. And this is one of the interesting things in the utopian vision of the future that we're currently experiencing. The idea was that we would transition out of the grind, the technology would start doing things, we'd get into some kind of weird Star Trek world where the entire planet shifted from this like never ending grind, this horrific work thing that we all do, to a sort of more utopian, less stressful, peaceful picnics, but with androids or something. Didn't happen. It hasn't happened. All that's happened is that people just have to like, work more. We're all getting hunched over because we're not standing up as much. There's a massive vitamin D deficiency all around the planet. They're wanting to call it like a vitamin pandemic. Vitamin D. You need that for your brain. So people just aren't going outside as much. We're not getting sun, we're not eating good food, and so our brains are getting all foggy and fucked up, which is exactly the perfect way you would want a brain to be if you wanted to inject it with a bunch of bullshit. So everybody that is being tilled, the soil of the human mind is being tilled by the dark tractor of the Internet. And it's driving people fucking nuts, giving you this sense of some impending threat, some danger. And I'll tell you what's really cool about taking a little Internet break. And I didn't do it on purpose. And again, the hypocrisy here is I'm about to talk about some shit I found on the Internet. So I'm not clean, I'm not clean all the way. I guess I'm California sober when it comes to the Internet right now. And I'll probably go on another bender before you know it. But the, the, the, the benefit of going off the Internet, by the way, I also recognize how crazy it is to be saying this when I depend on people being on the Internet for my job. So fuck it. But the benefit of going off this technology is that when you revisit seems fucking crazy. It's less normalized. When you're going on it all the time, all that you're seeing, it kind of seems normal. It makes sense. You're seeing the repeating pattern of whatever your fucking algorithm is serving up to you. You're solidifying some kind of worldview based on that algorithm. Probably you're getting cynical about the world and the state of people in the world. Why wouldn't you? The algorithm is hand picking the craziest motherfuckers on the planet and throwing them into your feed. Because we're interested in that. Crazy is interesting. Of course it is. You're interested in crazy because when you're around crazy in the real world, you want to get away from crazy. Because crazy is what stabs you in the fucking throat. Crazy is what throws its shit at you or whatever. You don't want to get crazified. So of course that's what we're all interested in. There's a sense this is the other way this poisonous fucking dark machine works is it gives you some sense that if you gather up enough information regarding geopolitics, domestic politics, what's going on with the government, what's going on with the president, what's going on with some stupid culture wars bullshit, that you are going to somehow extend your lifespan. You're going to be safer. That's the underlying feeling you get. That's why when you're doom scrolling, you'll notice there's like a dark cozy feeling. Dark cozy, that's my term when I'm sure that'll take off. Dark cozy. This feeling of like you're kind of like, you feel. It's like when it's raining outside and you're inside, except it's not raining outside. You're like watching horrors upon horrors on your phone. You're watching like fucking technological wombs being created where theoretically you could just grow babies in a factory. You're looking at like all of the possible fucked up things that are coming down the line. You're watching insane porn just fucking up your head. And then you know what happened is because I kept hearing about that the Nick Fuentes, oh my God, what's his name? Piers Morgan had Nick Fuentes on. And I had not been online that much. I'm like, you know what? I gotta watch that. That sounds really, really funny. And because you've got like the old blowhard and the young blowhard and you know, you got the old, you got the old alpha the old silverback and the young up and coming silverback contending with one another. And it was really fascinating to watch because Piers Morgan doesn't have the immune system to deal with Nick Fuentes. He's dealt with all kinds of fucking people. But it was wild because Fuentes doesn't care at all, apparently, about what Piers Morgan thinks about him or what Piers Morgan's audience thinks about him. And also has a kind of satanic lucidity to him. Like, he's like, real sharp. And so it was wild to watch this old fucking boomer go up against this young buck. But also because I hadn't been online, it just seems so silly. Just. Just like, I don't know, like at the level of like, you know, when you watch your kids get in a fight or something. I don't want my kids to fight. They're gonna fight. But sometimes when the things that they get in fights over, arguments over are ridiculous, you know, the energy behind it is no different from an adult fight. But the what they're arguing over, like, who gets to hold an acorn or something? You know, it's like, it's hilarious. And that's what it looked like. That's what it feels like if you just get your head out of the fucking porta potty for just a few days. When you stick it into the porta potty again, you're like, damn, this stinks. This smells like a fucking shitter. And that's all you gotta do. Just a few days. I promise you. I don't think all of you are necessarily at the level of Internet addiction that I was at, but for those of you who are there right now and you recognize it, you know it, you're fucking raw right now. You've just been plunging your head over and over and over again into that muck, sticking your head down into the digital toilet, sucking on big fat peanut encrusted digital turds. And then you're like, why does my stomach hurt? Why do I feel so bad? Why do I keep getting angry and freaked out? Why am I tired all the time? Why am I having nightmares? What's going on with me? It's because you've been sucking turds out of a global fucking toilet that we call the Internet. It's blinders. It's the worst kind of blinders, my friends. It's like, you know, you put horse blinders on a horse, it knows it's got blinders. I don't know horses. I don't know if they even fucking know. You can Only see right in front of it. You put blinders on a person, they're like, what the fuck? I can't see in my periphery. But if you put blinders on humans that imitate the world when it isn't the world at all, they're never going to try to take them off. And that's what we're dealing with here, man. The most sophisticated, incredible blindfold that's ever been created. All you're seeing is what's online. That's gives you the impression that's all there is. You start thinking, that's it. That must be the world. The world is being covered by the Internet. We're capturing all of it. I'm not saying you guys are that stupid, but you know what I mean. All the music, all the movies, all the whoever the fucking celebrities are that you're into, all of it. The only reason you know about it is because you've seen it on the fucking screen and that's it. But it's. There's a whole other undiscovered country out there, friends, and you won't find it with the Internet. It won't matter. It doesn't matter. Whatever the fuck you're seeing on the Internet, I promise you, is a sliver, a fraction of what's going on out there in the world. And then when you add to that, if you're like most people, you just have a certain set route that you take every day. You have a grocery store you go to, you might have a job that you go to, maybe a friend's house that you go to, maybe a bar that you go to. Though I don't even know if people are doing that as much anymore. But a certain set number of places you go, your bank, and you have a set way that you get there. And the way that you get there. How do you know how to get there? Your phone fucking tells you. Your phone tells you to go left and to go right and go this way and that way. And that's just what you do. That's what I do. Like some kind of fucking zombie. You just do it. And God help you if your phone goes down and you've been dumbed down and de skilled by this fucking technology and you're lost, embarrassingly lost in your own neighborhood. And by you I mean me. That's what happens. And so then add to it the rise of AI. It's like now instead of a phone telling you where you go, I don't know if you've seen the commercials for the like, new phones with AI in them. But it is the most depressing shit you've ever seen in your life. And by that I mean depressed. I would need it, but it's like, hey, chat, how do I change a tire? There's blood in my stool. What does that mean? Is it weird that my nipples are bleeding? It's like, where all of this leads is exactly what Jaron Lanier predicted. Can you pull up a picture of Jaron Lanier? Lanier L A N I E R. It's a weird name. This dude right here. Check this guy out. This guy is, well, partially the reason we have a bunch of technology that we have right now. But look up Jared Lanier. Why to delete your social media. 10 arguments for deleting your social media accounts. Now, Jaron Lanier argues for deleting social media because these platforms, driven by targeted ads, hijack our free will, degrade truth, foster unhappiness, and make politics terrifying. By constantly manipulating behavior for profit, turning users into products. He says it brings out the worst in us, fosters addiction, creates fake realities, destroys empathy, and ultimately disconnects us while claiming to connect us, advocating for a humanistic, paid social model instead. Now, this book is fucking great. And it's sinister, by the way. It's like, it's much more than that. Like, he goes into detail about B.F. skinner, the behavioral psycholog Skinner boxes, and how we're all being, like, hypnotized by this shit. And I believe that book came out before AI had gotten where it was, which adds to the power of social media. But the impacts this is having are very real. Can you Google woman driven crazy by refrigerator ad?
Josh
It was on her refrigerator.
Duncan Trussell
Yeah. Woman driven crazy by refrigerator ad. Refrigerator, yeah. Pull up this Reddit. Yeah, that's it. The New York Post. Samsung Smart fridge ad for a new sci fi series allegedly triggered a psychotic episode. Scroll down, I'll read it. A UK woman. You off? A UK woman named Carol checked herself into the emergency room after a Samsung Smart fridge advertisement allegedly caused her to lose her grip on reality. The woman's sister detailed her plight in a viral Reddit post in which she implored the public to give her advice on dealing with the unusual predicament. My schizophrenic sister hospitalized herself because she thought she was having a psychotic episode. The sibling titled the post. Turns out it was an advert on the LED screen. The victim, who is reportedly diagnosed with schizophrenia and has been hospitalized for previous episodes, had reportedly called the Reddit user to report that someone was trying to communicate with her through her Samsung family hub smart fridge. Now, one of the symptoms of schizophrenia, for those of you who don't know, maybe some of you have it, is that you. You start thinking that the radio, the tv, is sending you messages. It's a kind of like hyper powered confirmation bias, which is like something pops up on your radio that somehow applies directly to your life and you get this sense of like, oh my God, it's a synchronicity. It's a synchronicity, but it's like. Not to say those synchronicities don't happen and not say there's a whole other conversation to be had about oracular uses of what's commonly called chaos magic to get messages from random variables in your environment in the way, like, you look at Rorschach Ink block and Inkblot and see shapes in it. But schizophrenics, they don't see it like that. They think they're getting communicated with. This poor woman has got one of these new refrigerators that apparently advertise into your fucking house. And this Pluribus ad pulls up. Now scroll down a little bit. Check it out for those. Yes. Can they see it? Scroll all the way down. So the T honored refrigerator, it says, we're sorry we upset you, Carol.
Josh
Whoa.
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, it's her name. And so this is just an ad for Pluribus, whatever the fuck that is. And this poor woman did the right thing. She's clearly working on herself. She knows she has schizophrenia and she's like, oh my God, it's happening again. Checks herself into a psych ward. Now scroll down a little bit.
Josh
I don't think she's schizophrenic.
Duncan Trussell
Well, no, I mean, yeah, but that's the whole point is like, this tech is already causing ridiculous moments like that. I mean, the fact that someone would buy a fucking refrigerator that could advertise into their house is mind boggling to me that you would pay for that. Now, apparently there's a way to turn it off, but you should be able to turn it on, not turn it off. That's crazy. That it starts by giving you ads with your fucking name. That is so dystopian and insane. And, you know, it's like in the Orwellian universe, when the, when you get the TV screen in your house that shows Big Brother, they make you put it there. In this case, you're fucking buying it and putting it in your house. But the point is these targeted ads like this are so unethical and so Insanely fucked up. It's like, imagine if your refrigerator had. I don't know, actually, now I'm thinking about. This might be incredible, but just for the sake of this shitty analogy, imagine if your refrigerator had a compartment in it where a hand would come out and grab your ass randomly. Like nobody would. I was gonna say, like it jerk you off. And then like, that would sell way. That would sell a lot of refrigerators. But the. The point is, I don't know. I'm trying to think of a kind of invasive physical thing that technology could do. Just. I mean, maybe it doesn't pleasure you, just reaches out and like smacks your tits randomly, says your name. Hey, Carol. Smacking your tits. Like, no, that would be illegal, but something like that somehow. And maybe it's just because this tech is like, so relatively brand new, we don't have laws that we obviously need so that corporations can't fucking do that shit. That is insane. That's insane. And this is the. This is where it gets really weird because our relationship with this parasitic fucking technology is consensual. Somebody. Carol bought that. Poor schizophrenic. Carol bought that refrigerator. You. I paid for the fucking TV in my house. That, like, we're. Every once in a while it'll just pop up. There's a new term, terms of service, which is really fucking absolutely crazy. Like, I have to re. Agree to some contract I never even read in the first place. But every once in a while there'll be a privacy notice. And if I want to use my tv, I gotta, like, act like I've read this and like, yeah, sure, whatever. I don't know what you're measuring my fucking, like, eye dilation while I watch commercials or something. Okay? I just want to watch tv. Want to see the fucking Sopranos. But completely. By the way, is it schizophrenic, though?
Josh
If your device is listening to you? It. You know what I mean?
Duncan Trussell
It's.
Josh
So it's going to feed you back what you're. What it's listening to.
Duncan Trussell
Well, there you go. There you go.
Josh
Because mine right now has been feeding me. Every once in a while, after I scroll, scroll for 30 minutes, it'll say like a video pop. And be like, break the loop. Or you will repeat it tomorrow. Break the loop. And it's just a video playing of like, space or something. I'm like, all right, time to get off my phone.
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, I've seen. Now that's interesting. I've seen versions of that. Like, like some kind of anti Technology activists make these videos that start off like, you know, the usual slop, and then they're like, hey, what are you fucking doing with your life? Like, there's more to the world than this two dimensional hellscape you're happily putting your eyes and ears on. But yeah, and on top of that, like, we all know that the fucking phone is like, you know, you'll talk about whatever, I mean, every, you know, you wanted. If you want to do an experiment, everybody watching right now, just repeat after me. Say air conditioner filters. Say, my air conditioner filters dirty. My air conditioner filter is fucking dirty, dude. My fucking air conditioner filters dirty. I got a dirty air conditioner filter. Why is my filter dirty? Just say that over and over and look at what ads probably will start popping up on your phone. And we accept that when you add to this very creepy reality that we're now being invaded by screens. Facial recognition technology, by the way, is just like, you just do it for convenience. My. When I go to the fucking airport, if I'm using clear, not to brag I'm a clear member, I get my eyeballs scanned twice. I go through clear, they scan my eyeballs, TSA scans my fucking eyeballs. And then, you know, I'm through. And I just don't want to deal with it. I don't want to be like, no, I don't want my face scanned. And also, I just think my face is already out there anyway, so there's no fucking hope for me, you know, outside of getting some kind of plastic surgery, gouging my eyeballs out, burning my face off or something. Like, there's no hope. But, dude, pull up the. God, I'm trying to think what it's called. You won't find it. The point that Jaron Lanier is trying to make and that I'm sloppily trying to make is that at this point, you can't really call yourself an activist, a revolutionary. You can't really consider that you're actually rebelling against the system. If you're looking at your phone for more than, like, a few minutes a day. And because you see it, it's a famous trope, the inmates line up in the loony bin to get their medication. They all get the little cups and they drink their meds. And then inevitably, one of the inmates is like, not taking the meds, hiding them under his mattress or whatever, and that's the one who escapes. Not doing your looking at your phone is the equivalent of that action. Not looking at your phone is like not taking your meds at the fucking cuckoo house. And it's amazing. Just a few days off and your world will exponentially get better. And I feel like the fact that the world that I'm living in, which is one of near pregnancy and all the chaos and madness that goes with that, is not what you would consider an optimum environment for happiness. But I feel better than I felt in a long time. And I'm sleeping better. I got eight hours of sleep last night. Fucking incredible. When you're a dad, that's amazing. But what was keeping me up so late is just like staring at the fucking screen. You remove that and boom, you're sleeping. You feel better, you're less stressed out, you just become a better person. So when I watched that Nick Fuentes Piers Morgan interview, I really didn't have as much power over me as shit like that was having. I don't really give a fuck. Like not in a kind of callous edge, lordy way, but just like, yeah, whatever. I don't know, it seems like too fairly annoying people having an embarrassing argument and then that was it. I know this is where maybe I'm gonna be like, you guys could say no to this. I think it would be better for you to just play video games and not go online. I think it's better if you're gonna like, if you want to do screens, just play Ghost of Yotai, play video games. Anything other than, than social media. Anything other than TikTok or reels or whatever the fuck you kids are doing now. I don't know what it is. Would be better. Anything would be better. Maybe. I don't know about this for sure. I probably shouldn't say this, but I'm going to roll the dice and say day drinking might be better for you. Just go into a bar. Going to some dive bar and drinking all day without a phone is probably healthier than staring at your fucking phone all day. I'm gonna roll the dice. Glory hole. Go to a glory hole instead of looking at your phone. Suck a cock. Get your cock sucked by a stranger. That's probably healthier than looking at your fucking phone. Because what is the difference between a phone and a glory hole? You know what I mean? I mean obviously there's obvious differences. The tech isn't there yet where a stranger's dick can stick out of your. And you could slobber it down. It'll get there eventually. We're just not there yet. But you're still. It's a rectangular shaped hole and strangers are jizzing data all over your face every day. Every day. So don't judge people who enjoy a glory hole from time to time. If you're addicted to your phone, you can't waggle your fucking finger. It's some bearded dude at a truck stop covered with fresh jizz splattered on his beard and his flannel shirt who just pleasured a stranger. Which, by the way, around the holiday season is not the worst thing to do. People are lonely right now, but you can't waggle your finger if you've been getting digital jizz splattered all over your face by God knows who. And what if you've been fucking letting Rachel Maddow and Candace Owens and Tucker Carlson spray their fucking digital fear come all over your face? Who are you to judge anybody? It's no different. It's a glory hole. The phone is a glory hole. I would call it an inglorious hole. Glory holes. At least there is some glory there, I guess. Dark Jeffrey Dmer Way and again, I want to recognize I get the hypocrisy that you're probably listening this on your phone. I don't know the solution to that problem, but if you want to have a better Christmas. Foreign. This episode of the DTFH has been brought to you by Quince. Everything you need is a quince. I don't know if you even listen to this podcast or not. You probably heard me talking about how horrifying it is to go into Costco. You feel like your soul has been sucked out of your body by the proboscis of a hyperdimensional reptilian being, and it doesn't feel like it comes back when you leave. Shopping sucks. Quints makes shopping wonderful. They've done it. They've assembled anything you might want for your whether it's for holiday shopping or just shopping for yourself. It's incredible. Check it out. Just go to quints.com by the way, this has my wife's triple seal of approval. She loves quints. And they've got everything, man. Look at it. You want great clothes. They've got incredible freaking clothes. I love my Quint crew neck sweater. It's awesome. Mongolian cashmere? I don't even know what that is. Doesn't matter to me. I just like wearing it. Now, when you hear Mongolian cashmere crewneck sweater, you're probably thinking, yeah, right. I can't afford $50,000 for a sweater, you jerk. All right, what about 59.90? I'm telling you, it's real Nice. And it's easy. Check it. Forget the clothes. They have clothes. They've got everything you want. Cool iPhone cases they've got that you want to find like gifts under 75 bucks for somebody you don't really care about as much as other people. They got that too. Balsam fir candle. It's wonderful. We have that in my house. We've got amazing slippers. And let me just say this, I actually would enjoy a nice pair of slippers for the holidays. I hope somebody gets me those. They've got everything you could possibly want, including Mongolian cashmere gloves. I don't need those. I'm in Texas. But they look cool. The point is, just go to Quint's, check them out. They're really great. They have absolutely. Oh wow. I want that. That's really cool. All weather adventure jacket for kids. Send that to my wife right now. This isn't performative by the way. I just have ADHD and I won't remember to do this until after the ad read. Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with quints. Don't wait. Go to quints.com Duncan for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Duncan. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Duncan thank you, Quince. If you want to like do a cool experiment, just see what happens. Just see what happens. You don't have. I mean, I'm still gonna show you some shit that I found on my phone that's really quite interesting. I know a meteor shower is happening soon. Gonna be out in the yard with the kids watching that thing. I'm excited about it. I needed the Internet for that. It's just like there might be a way to interact with this tech where you actually become like for all you out there who are like alleged anti capitalists, just shut the fuck up. If you're on your phone, just shut the fuck up about that. Like if you really want to do some kind of communist revolution, you're not gonna do that by feeding the fucking corporations that are gathering data from you on your fucking phone. The ultimate boycott is not necessarily everyone just stops working until shit gets better. The ultimate boycott would be we just don't care about the phone anymore. We stop looking. We don't care. Who gives a fuck. It really doesn't matter. By the way, like what are you gonna do? Vote the problem away? You really think that's gonna Fucking work. Give me a break. By now, like, we all know at this point that what 90% of what the Feds tell us is bullshit. Like, we know that. Everyone knows that there might be some sliver of truth in there, but mostly it's horseshit. Whatever it is is specially written in a way that creates plausible deniability and, you know, sedate some of the masses, angers some of them on purpose. None of it matters. Everyone knows that. I think there was a time when people believe the Feds more. Now we don't. So I'm sorry, but, like, being up to date on current events regarding politics is not gonna do shit if you're trying to actually, like, fight back against some kind of something infinitely more horrifying than any than Orwell, Orwell's dystopia or Huxley's dystopia. The thing that seems like a clear path to like, really fucking shit up is just stop looking at loses all its power as zero power over you at that point. Can't do anything like you don't care. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what's happening. You, you still could do your thoughts and prayers, by the way. You could just do it in a more generic fashion. Pray for the world, pray for parents, pray for children. You don't have to. I don't think God gives a fuck about specific prayers. It's really interesting because what really is the difference between staring at a glowing hypnotic screen and bowing down in front of, like, a statue of baal? Like, isn't it idolatry? Just to put it bluntly, and in some kind of, like, archaic way, wouldn't you call it idolatry? You know, you got the glowing rectangle. It's not an altar, but it's sort of like an altar. It's in your house. You sit down, enter into a meditative state, commune with it. You're directed by, compels you to do shit, get a new car, get a new fucking phone. What is the difference between that and praying to some weird ancient Sumerian deity? I mean, I guess the difference is that weird ancient Sumerian deity isn't going to start showing you ads for air conditioner filters because it heard you talking about it. So in a way, I guess the ancient Sumerian deity is less dangerous. What is the difference? I mean, look, I'm not saying we're sacrificing our children to baal, but dude, look at the fucking Roblox shit. Parents put their kids on Roblox, they're like, talking to like, predators? Like, what is the difference? Honestly, it's like, yeah, you're not driving a dagger through your kid's heart. You're just letting him fucking romp around some kind of cartoony landscape where there's 100% active fucked up people on there trying to like, control kids. Look, I get it. You're not like coating your child with lavender and some kind of like hash oil before you bring them to the top of the pyramid to drive a dagger into their heart, but you're posting pictures of them in a fucking bathing suit online. You know what I mean? It's like, dude, you don't really. That doesn't. It doesn't bother some parents. I'll just do that. Doesn't bother some parents when they're like, wow, look, 250,000 people like this picture of my kid in a bathing suit. I mean, it's not child sacrifice in the classic way, but things evolve, man. So. But things also stay exactly the same. That's what's cool about it. Nothing new under the sun. And so, yeah, probably in ancient times when they didn't think that like, it was, you know, when they didn't think it was like a cute thing that like polyamorous couples do when, like when they were worshiping like Odin or whatever, you know, that's pagan polyamorous couples. They're all over the fucking place.
Josh
What if it's still a sacrifice? But it's not a physical sacrifice. It's a sacrifice of their innocence.
Duncan Trussell
What's that?
Josh
It's a sacrifice of their innocence because they're gonna learn some shit on there quicker than we would have.
Duncan Trussell
100%. That's it. Yeah, it's like whatever the, you know, whatever the fuck you were, you are, whatever the fuck you are hoping for that your, your kid wouldn't hear. They're going to hear it online, dude. They're going to fucking, you know, and.
Josh
If you can traumatize a child at a young age, they're more likely to become, you know, more obedient as they get older.
Duncan Trussell
Well, yeah, you desensitize. That's the idea. Desensitize, desensitize, desensitize, normalize, desensitize. Yeah. And then, and then like once, I mean, if for an adult, you can go online for a few days and just get this like, and pray for fucking Odin to throw a goddamn for Ragnarok to start. What's it doing for a kid?
Josh
It's starting right now. Ragnarok. You didn't hear what Powell said The head of the Federal Reserve, he said unemployment is going to go up, but productivity will go up as well. How is that possible? That's never happened before. Well, AI.
Duncan Trussell
Well, 100%. But you know what? That's what I'm talking. I don't give a shit. You know, here's the thing. No, not to shoot down what you're saying. It's fucked up. I don't give a fucking shit. I don't care what Jerome Powell says. I don't care if Jerome Powell shit's a fucking unicorn. I don't. I don't care. Why did I ever care about Jerome fucking Powell? Jerome Powell can't do childcare for me. That's what I need, fucking childcare. Unless Jerome Powell is coming to the fucking house to figure out why my kid's bathtub doesn't have hot water. Fuck him. Like that. That. I'm saying this entire situation could theoretically be fought back against by the majority of people recognizing they don't need. They don't any. All the information we're getting doesn't do anything but make it make us anxious and conveys a sense of power. That's the other thing is like, Jerome Powell is just some old fucking crusty dude. Trump's just some old fucking crusty dude. That's it. He's like a dude like you look over at a restaurant, you're like, ah, he seems like a dick. That's it. You're never going to run into him. Never gonna happen. Doesn't matter is all I'm saying. These people don't need to be in our lives. Look, I'm not saying that the fucking dollar collapsing and all that stuff isn't gonna create a direct impact on humanity and people. I'm just saying you're not gonna do shit about doesn't matter. That's what I'm saying. None of it matters. Nothing can be done from that perspective. And therefore, the general focus of a person's life should go to what it always has been, which is, are you miserable, Are you happy, or are you miserable? That simple binary. How are you feeling? And is it possible to feel better? Like, do you need to feel like shit every day, all the time? Do you need to feel angry, paranoid, upset? Do you need your feathers constantly being ruffled? And if you're sick of it, what's going on there? And this is why that Jaron Lanier book is so good, because he really focuses on conditioning. And we all know the story of Pavlov's dog. You ring the bell Pavlov the dog starts fucking drooling because it thinks it's going to get food. And so now we are literally Pavlov's dog. Look at the way you feel when your phone rings. Look at the way you feel when your text alert goes off. How does that feel? Feeling good? Does that make you feel good? Bang. Whatever your fucking sound is, does that make you feel good? No. Unless you're, like, you know, in the beginning phases of some romantic thing with somebody, it's not making you feel good if you're honest with yourself. When that motherfucker vibrates, it's a little volt. It's a little volt from the Internet. A little. Hey, freak out for a second, won't you? Freak out. Your heart rate goes up, your pulse increases. You don't start salivating. You freak out for a second. What could it be? Shit. What now? God damn it. What fucking now? Okay, here we go. This. It's no different. It's tra. It's conditioning. It's training. And so I. I would say, like, if this thing is, like, making you feel like, get it away from you as much as possible.
Josh
But are we conditioned like that? Because we're fathers and we put out fires all the time. And that's why usually that ding is a fire.
Duncan Trussell
Could be. There's a lot of dads out there, though. There's a lot of dads out there. I'm just saying, like, in general, I'm not feeling great when my phone buzzes. It's annoying, at the very least. And so, yeah, it's just we're being completely, like, obviously conditioned by this shit. And so, yeah, every fucking week, these, like, weirdos that, again, you're never going to cross paths with. You're never going to meet Candace Owens, you're never going to meet Sean Hannity, you're never going to meet Nick Fuentes. You're never going to meet President Trump. You're never going to meet Jerome Powell. You're never going to meet these people. They're not. They're you. They're completely irrelevant. But for somehow they've become part of our family. They're with us all the time. And so the reason that is is because we keep looking at these fucking black rectangles and none of it matters. You can't stop what's coming anyway. And I don't know. That sounds like a sinister thing to say. I don't know what's coming. Nothing new, I'll tell you that. Nothing new. Same shit. It's just Going to be the same shit. It's going to be the same fucking ice cube shape. You know, it might be a different color because somebody, because you use food coloring. It's the same fucking cube. It's just going to keep coming. And so then you have to ask yourself, how much control do I have over my conditioned response to negative stimulus in my life? And you have a lot of control over that, by the way. But the first step is you've got to untether yourself from the fucking Cthulhu whose tentacle you've allowed into every orifice of your body. That's step one. There's enough stimuli out there that is going to rightfully make you anxious. Why add more to that? But then you have to start asking yourself, do I need to feel like at a low level state of anxiety all the time? Does that make any sense at all? Is me feeling anxious doing anything to make me more productive, to make me more effective? No. Why would it really, theoretically, that you could look at your anxiety and make it non neurotic by recognizing it as energy, I guess learn to focus it. But this brings me to my book recommendation. I know I've already talked about it. I'm almost done with it. Can you please pull up Psycho Cybernetics? Dude, I've been looking at self help books for a long time. In this book, this is like the real shit. Like it works. Like this stuff works. It's kind of like musty and old and so. And it's funny in that way. I like some of the things he's talking about feel like very much from like the 60s and stuff. But like people like he's a lot of, A lot of getting ready for like a fancy party. I guess that was more important in the 60s. But if you really want to like it also, by the way, it, it feels a little bit like some of the shit I've heard about like MK Ultra stuff. Like it feels like that a little bit. But I like that stuff. But the premise of this book is just incredible. And what I really love about it is it's like, well just try the methods in this book and then 30 days, see how you feel. And I. So I was like, sure, I'll try that. It totally works. This is like a very effective, very interesting methodology that mirrors a lot of like things. In fact I would say that like what we call chaos magic. Can you pull up Liber Null? I think is what it's called Liber and it's a space between it. Yeah, yeah. Libra Null Latin for empty book or null book refers to the foundational text of Chaos magic, written by Peter Carroll, which presents a radical, eclectic system of magic, blending modern science with ancient occultism, emphasizing belief as a malleable tool for achieving personal transformation and altering reality. Belief is a tool. A central tenet is that belief isn't a fixed truth, but a temporary state that can be changed or switched to achieve magical effects. Drawing from quantum physics ideas. So that idea is all over Psycho Cybernetics. And basically what it's saying is if you habituate to worrying, which many of us do, like we've got, like, the next time you get a real neurotic pain or you start feeling really nervous or like bad, just look at what you're thinking about. And you're probably thinking about something you're worried about. You're thinking about some problem in your life, some impending problem or something in the past that you feel bad about or where you were hurt or traumatized or whatever. And so where there seems to be some similarity between Psycho cybernetics and chaos magic is Chaos Magick is saying you can replace that thing in your mind with anything. With Psycho Cybernetics, it's saying, pick out a few moments in your life that were good and just start thinking about that instead of thinking about what you're doing. Problems are and look what happens to you. It sounds so obvious that, yeah, if you stop worrying and like fixating on shit in your life that's going wrong and just start thinking about times where things went right, your mood state changes and that we since that you can re habituate yourself so that your primary mode of thinking is not impending dangers or things that have happened in the past that have hurt you, but your primary mode of thinking is a kind of realistic sort of optimism that you are reminding yourself of actual great things that have happened to you, moments where you've succeeded. And Psycho Cybernetics is saying it doesn't have to be anything big. You don't need some crowning moment in your life that you keep bringing up, just something simple, something that isn't even that exciting. You just need something to replace your worried mind, to replace those thoughts with. Whoa, it totally fucking works. I think probably where Chaos magic might go a little like into a more esoteric realm is that Chaos Magick is saying you can invoke certain deities, and those deities don't have to be real, those deities don't have to have existed. It doesn't matter. Like, you could literally, like pray to Harry Potter, for example, or you can like allow the spirit of Gandalf into you, into you, and use that personality to navigate, you know, whatever your problems are. And the point being that it's like, yeah, I mean, obviously, was Gandalf the gray reality? I don't want to say no, but probably not. But the archetype behind that is real. And that sort of personality formation is real. And that by communing with various entities, whether they're real fictional characters or mythological characters, there's no difference. And you can use that essentially to repopulate your identity with something less up and erotic. And it just works. And I. But also, I think chaos magic is saying you can actually make shit in your environment change. Which, by the way, psycho cybernetics is kind of alluding to that too, you know. And so I would recommend getting offline. Step one, step two, read that book. Step three, just go to a glory hole. There's a lot in Austin I've heard and see what happens. See what happens.
Josh
What if we're looking at the problem in the wrong way? Because we're constantly getting our nervous system stimulated. So that anxiety is like a prickly blanket that we put on. And when you take that off, it's like, well, now I'm cold. Now I. You know what I mean?
Duncan Trussell
Yeah.
Josh
And so it's like we need that anxiety to feel because when we don't feel anything, that's.
Duncan Trussell
Then what are we. Yeah, what are we without our anxiety? How do I even exist at all? Like, if you've been identifying with your anxiety, if that's your personality, which is like a lot of neurotics, it's like the anxiety is literally the spinal cord of their identity. And so you pull the fucking spine out of your identity. Now what are you? This is why people, and I do it too. This is why self sabotage happens. This is why people can be in a fairly good situation and then we'll fuck it up. Because they want that spine of nervousness, anxiety, they want to confirm reality is a horrible place. And so they reignite some fire that they just put out over and over and over again. So. Yeah, exactly. That's a good observation, Josh. It's 100% real. You. The next time you find yourself even remotely happy, if you're a neurotic, you're like, shit, man, I'm dying over here. Like, I feel okay. There's no problems. I'm bored. I need to make things exciting again. And the reality is that you actually where. I think psycho cybernetics is interesting from a kind of Buddhist perspective. Is like Buddhism is also pointing towards the emptiness, fundamental emptiness of everything, including you. And overlaid on top of that emptiness is a set of habituations and patterns and things that you think of as your identity. But the core of the gobstopper is empty. There's nothing really there. And so I think Buddhism is more about like, well, why don't we just see what happens if we hang out in that place that you're talking about and just see what happens. This is where you start. The us and them starts going away. You merge with a greater whole. Whereas magic esotericism and I guess psycho cybernetics, which honestly I would consider to be a grimoire, it points more towards the identity still being the predominant concern. Some fixation on action in the world to create results. Not that Buddhism is saying become some passive fucking like jellyfish blobbing on the beach, but, you know, whereas. Whereas these things are like, here's a way that you could be better at baseball. Like psycho cybernetics, here's how to get your golf swing better. Buddhism is more like, hey, why don't we stop incarnating over and over again in the infinite cycle of Samsara? Because it never works out here. And so. But still they both are pointing towards this sort of empty core within human identity that you just tend to fill up with whatever your primary mode of thinking is. So if you're like anxious and nervous and you think you live in hell and everything's fucked up and that you live in a hopeless world, look at the content of your thoughts and you will find that the content of your thoughts match that mood state. Change the thoughts. Watch what happens to the inner universe. The two go hand in hand.
Josh
Is that what as above, so below means?
Duncan Trussell
Could be, yeah, could be, absolutely. But I would recommend that book. Now let me go completely in the other direction of what I was just talking about, because I did say I have been going online. I think this is one last thing before we. Before I talk to some of you guys out there. Josh, pull up. So I know many of you probably know about this. You know about Poly Market. Polymarket is a place where you can essentially invest in trends. What you think's gonna happen. It's a betting site, but for world events, right? There it is. Poly Market Fed decision in January will Trump release Epstein files Maduro out by. But pull up the one I texted you.
Josh
Josh, let me look on my text. Give me one second.
Duncan Trussell
This is really interesting because on Polymarket, all of a sudden somebody like invested a lot of money into betting on whether or not basically saying Trump is going to do disclosure soon. And so Polymarket has actually been fairly accurate when it comes to predicting elections and stuff like that, you know, because people don't want to lose money. But here you see this interesting thing happened. All of a sudden, somebody invested a shit ton of money into this fucking thing. And now it's saying there's an over a 99% chance that by the end of the year, Trump is going to declassify UFO files by the end of next year. Oh, before 2027. But this just leaped up.
Josh
Yeah, it was at 30%.
Duncan Trussell
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Josh
Yeah, December 6th.
Duncan Trussell
Now pull up the other thing that I sent you, Josh.
Josh
Okay.
Duncan Trussell
The Epstein thing.
Josh
It's on the same text?
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, it's the next text. You don't even need to pull it up. The deadline for the release.
Josh
This one. What is it? This one.
Duncan Trussell
The Epstein thing. No, no, no, no, no. I texted it. Doesn't matter. It's a screenshot. The deadline for the release of the Epstein files is. Do you know when that is?
Josh
December 19th.
Duncan Trussell
December 19th. So suddenly somebody pours a bunch of money in a poly market that Trump is gonna release, declassify some kind of UFO shit. But it happens right before the fucking Epstein files legally have to be released. Makes you wonder, man. Makes you wonder, you know, because if. If there was ever a time that Trump was going to do disclosure, it seems like it would coincide with the release. The Epstein files. Makes sense. A lot of the times I don't buy into the false flag bullshit. But it seems like if you were looking for a good bet that he's going to say something about the aliens. Seems like a pretty easy bet. I really might take it.
Josh
Yeah. For every $0.60, $0.66, you win a dollar. But if, no, let me see, 36 cents, you can win a dollar.
Duncan Trussell
36 cents, you win a dollar. I'm not saying do it. I'm just saying based on the way like anytime like some kind of fucked up shit's about to happen that we're not supposed to look at, it does seem like a UFO related thing happens because it really grabs our attention. I guess the volume is relatively small on that though, right?
Josh
I mean, if you let me see.
Duncan Trussell
It's a million. The volume's like a million.
Josh
Well, if you bet a hundred you can win. And this is. If you bet. No, it's $277 you can win.
Duncan Trussell
Yeah, I see. The reason I'd want to do it now and the reason I think somebody invested so much right now is because. See, look. See that trade? Somebody dropped 25k on it. That's crazy. Like to. To put $25,000 into something so insane.
Josh
People put 2500,000 in fart coin.
Duncan Trussell
So you know, what's fart coin? How's it doing?
Josh
It's actually gone down recently.
Duncan Trussell
Yeah.
Josh
Yeah.
Duncan Trussell
Who would have thought?
Josh
I know.
Duncan Trussell
Not Good.
Josh
Down at 37 cents.
Duncan Trussell
Ah, that's too bad.
Josh
Yeah. You think that it's up 8% today.
Duncan Trussell
Oh, wow. That's incredible. Fart coins going up, guys. Thanks for that, Josh. Should have invested. You got to tell me about these meme coins. I always miss the boat. I invested in Pepe coin. Got.
Josh
I just hold it eventually go up. When Ethereum goes up.
Duncan Trussell
It's not going to go up.
Josh
Well, they're about to print a lot of money.
Duncan Trussell
They are, Yeah. I don't know, I don't have time to. But speaking of investments, I'm going to show you guys something that I'm about to drop. So if you guys actually want to invest in something powerful. I almost don't want to show this right now because I don't have the shirt up. But it will be up maybe for some of you listening right now. Check this out, guys. This is going to blow your mind. French artist Desoin Cullard made this for me. He was a fan of Midnight Gospel and I had him design this amazing shirt for me. I'm not going to say anything else about it till I find it, Josh. I'm gonna Just airdrop this to you, I guess.
Josh
Okay.
Duncan Trussell
If it'll let me. Yeah. Here you go. Did you get that or did I send it to the wrong thing?
Josh
Nothing yet.
Duncan Trussell
Hold on.
Josh
Should be the MacBook.
Duncan Trussell
You know what? I'll text it to you.
Josh
Okay.
Duncan Trussell
This artist is, like, I've been a fan of his forever, and it was so cool when I saw you follow me on Instagram and we just started talking, and, yeah, he said he would design a shirt for me, so. And he did. It's beautiful. And I'm about to release these things, but here you go. Josh, wait. Do you see this? You know, like, when you see the work of a master artist, it just. You just know it. It's incredible how they can. How they could just put their soul into their art. You know how, like, it's. It's more than just a drawing.
Josh
Come on.
Duncan Trussell
It's got to verify. Adobe Acrobat. I always wonder what that means.
Josh
Come on, open up.
Duncan Trussell
Would it help if I sent you a jpeg?
Josh
No. It should open up eventually. Here we go.
Duncan Trussell
There you go, guys. Take a look at that. These shirts are going to be released in time for Christmas. This is, again made by one of the most extraordinary artists of all time. This is the guy who taped himself to the Eiffel Tower and covered himself with hornets. He made this for me. As you could see, it says, Operation Beast Blast. We've got a picture of the pyramids. Bye. Bye. And so this is a way for you to actively participate in the movement, which I'm proud to say that I started, to blow up the pyramids. And this is a way that you could be out there on the street and, you know, I'm going to call it a dog whistle. You wear this thing, and other people, many of you, are working covertly. I understand that some people feel like their lives get put in danger when they start participating in Operation Beast Blast. But for those of you who aren't as afraid or who aren't cowards, no offense to those of you who've been working undercover, wear this shirt proudly. Give this shirt to your grandparents. They will love it. And wear this shirt wherever you go. Order multiple shirts so you could wear it every day of the week. Operation Beast Blast. For those of you just joining us is my mission to get more subscribers than Mr. Beast. How many subscribers does Mr. Beast have right now?
Josh
Let's check. Mr. Beast has 454 million.
Duncan Trussell
454 million. Where are we at now in subscribers? We are at.
Josh
161,000.
Duncan Trussell
100 so we have got some work to do to get up there to 451 million. But once I get up that high, then at that point, based on what my business managers tell me, my income stream will be so powerful that I will be able to finish the negotiations that I've been engaging in. Now I just say, throw your hat over the fence to buy the pyramids and destroy them. Now, a lot has happened since the beginning of Operation Beast Blast, which I think is worth noting. I have been talking about Operation Beast Blast since this new iteration of the DTFH on YouTube. Since then. Can you just pull up? Don't show the video, but just pull up. Mr. Beast goes into the pyramids. Got it. Since then, coincidentally, Mr. Beast, in what I would call an egregious and aggressive response. I spent a hundred hours inside the pyramids. He's mocking us. He's mocking us. He goes into the fucking pyramids. It's like a dog pissing on a tree. I don't give a fuck that he's been in the pyramids. I don't care. That doesn't make you own the pyramids. And my insiders at Egypt are he. I'm not going to say for sure he's been trying to buy them, but let me just put it this way. He's been trying to, I think, and he can't. He can't. They're not fans. And so another thing that's happened. Can you pull up Doppler Uncover structures under the pyramids? Do you think any of this is coincidence, gang? Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first, There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Flu season is here and the in store pharmacy has you covered with a free flu shot with most insurance plans. And as a thank you, get up to $20 off your grocery purchase. Plus it's cough and cold season. Stock up on all the season's essentials and get ready for relief with discounts on items like Hall's Menthol cough drops, Tylenol Cold and Flu and Mucinex Fast Max products. Offer ends December 30th. Restrictions apply and offers may vary by location. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Duncan Trussell
Look. Look at. Yeah, pull up any of those pictures. A new study using advanced radar technology might have uncovered a massive underground system beneath the pyramids of Giza. We don't have to play it. I just want to point out that all of these things started happening after Operation Beast Blast started. Why are they suddenly leaking that there's objects under the fucking pyramids? Because they know I'm about to blow them the fuck up. And people are going to be pissed when they see that directly under there is a fucking dark series of evil columns shooting bad energy into our atmosphere and corrupting the consciousness of all human beings as well as the environment. You think global warming is being called caused by fossil fuel emissions? Give me a fucking break. Wake the fuck up. You really think that? You think climate change is happening because of too many cars? No, it's happening because of those fucking pyramids. Those fucking pyramids are pointing right at the goddamn sun in one of the hottest places on Earth. Basically that if you want to know the fucking knob on the hot tub, it's the fucking pyramids. And these motherfucking pharaohs, they left it on high and just died. You think, you really think Egypt was always that fucking hot? You think mummification happens from removing the organs from a fucking mummy and wrapping it in bullshit? No, mummification happens because the fucking pyramids are basically air fryers. You stick a fucking pharaoh in there, it just withers them up. And then you wrap them up, throw people off the trail. The point is this Operation Beast Blast is real. And Operation Beast Blast is a threat to global powers. And they don't want you to know what's under there. And what's under there is no different than what's in your fucking microwave. And once we blow those fuckers up, we're gonna keep going down, baby. We're gonna keep going down until all that's left is a big ass fucking hole where there used to be pyramids. And I would say within a month, within a month we're going to see the end of earthquakes, continental drift, which they want you to believe is a natural part of living on the planet. They tricked us into thinking that. They want you to believe that the continents actually are supposed to move. They're not. They're not supposed to move. They should stay still. Does that make any sense to anyone? Like that's the first red flag. Your fucking continents are actually moving. Don't get me started about the poles shifting. None of this is supposed to be happening. And the sun was never this fucking hot. And why is the sun hot? Well, because the pyramid is essentially a middle finger that for thousands of years has just been pointing at the sun. Fuck you, sun. Fuck you. And it's pissing it off. And it's Getting hotter. Look at the solar flares. Josh, pull up solar flare.
Josh
Video. Or just pictures?
Duncan Trussell
Just news. News on solar flares. I'm sure there's one coming. Oh, what do you know? Three days ago, NOAA forecast strong geomagnetic storm for Tuesday. What? Massive solar flare hits Earth. Watch the skies. Powerful solar eruption will hit the Earth tonight. Earth will be covered by a red level magnetic storm on December fucking 12th. Oh, what do you know? It's December 12th. You think that's a coincidence? This isn't your refrigerator talking to you. This is me talking directly to you. And I mean you, not everybody else. And I am telling you, God sent me into your house to tell you that you have to help me destroy these fucking pyramids. It's your job. And the best way to do that will be to order those shirts, which will be available@duncantrussell.com by the end of the day. Wear it. Participate. Don't be like these other motherfuckers taking big shits watching Nick Fuentes yap on the fucking Internet. I'm sorry, but I haven't heard Nick Fuentes say one fucking thing about blowing up those pyramids. Huh? What do you know? What do you know? While Candace Owens is blathering about whether or not fucking McCrone's wife has a big old fat fucking hog, I'm trying to blow up the goddamn fucking pyramids. I'm sorry. I'm getting a little heated. But I'm sure Moses got heated, too when God called him to Egypt. And let me tell you, they changed the fucking Bible because God didn't tell them to go to Egypt and set the Jews free. God said, go out there and blow those fucking shitty pyramids up. They changed it because he was like, I can't do that. Well, that's the difference between me and Moses, I guess. Because I can and I will, and you can help me. Our children and our children's children can live on a planet without pyramids. Don't be afraid to dream. This could happen. No more pyramids. Yeah, sure. The books will still be there. They might pick up an old National Geographic and see the pyramids and cry. I can't believe there was a time when there were pyramids. It's okay, honey. It's okay. I helped. You did. I did. You were part of Operation Beast Blast. Daddy, I was. I helped. And that's why those pyramids are gone. Subscribe, like. Spread the message. Get the shirt. God be with you. Hare Krishna. Quick. Choose a meal. Deal with McValue the $5 McChicken meal deal, the $6 McDouble meal deal or the new $7 Daily Double with its own small fries, drink and four piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. Parts of the participation may vary. Not Bell for McDelivery.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. The holiday season can be exhausting with all the parties and the end of year celebrations, but don't forget to take care of yourself by stocking up on your favorite nutritional products. Now through December 30th. Shop in store and online and save on items like Cliff Snack Bars, Luna Bars, Boost Nutritional Energy Drinks, Premier Protein Shakes, Z Bar Variety Packs, Open Nature Powder and Body Fortress Protein powder offers end December 30th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Duncan Trussell
Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first, There the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.
Duncan Trussell Family Hour – Episode 728: Everything’s Perfect (December 15, 2025)
In this solo riff/“salon-style” episode, Duncan Trussell dives deep into the strange digital vortex of modern life. Using a swirl of personal anecdotes, social criticism, surreal humor, and metaphysical speculation, Duncan explores the psychic cost of hyper-connectivity, the rise of AI, the blurred boundary between technological convenience and spiritual parasitism, and finding genuine moments of presence in a world addicted to screens. There’s also discussion of Operation Beast Blast (his ongoing Mr. Beast rivalry), wild rants about blowing up the Egyptian pyramids, and a recurring plea for listeners to reclaim their sanity (and holidays) by unplugging, laughing, and feeling, at least for a moment, that "everything's perfect".
On AI Music:
“The shittier it sounds, the funnier that is to me. But as far as the composition of the music, forget it. Like, there's just no way…” (05:30, Duncan)
On Costco Anxiety:
“Costco rules. Like, I’ve never been in a place with carts that you could fit a fucking casket in. …All these things are going through your head. You’re overwhelmed. Then some fucking asshole smacks into you with their cart, like, on purpose…” (10:00, Duncan)
On the Internet as Modern Plague:
“I gotta tell you, man, I’m pretty sure the Internet is the technological flea causing a psychic fucking pandemic that is crushing our species—not killing us. Which, by the way, maybe that's worse…” (25:30, Duncan)
On Screen Addiction:
“You’ve just been plunging your head over and over into that muck, sticking your head down into the digital toilet, sucking on big fat peanut-encrusted digital turds. And then you’re like, why does my stomach hurt? Why do I feel so bad?” (46:00, Duncan)
On Targeted Ads:
“But you should be able to turn it on, not turn it off. That's crazy. That it starts by giving you ads with your fucking name. That is so dystopian and insane.” (38:30, Duncan)
On Glory Holes vs. Smartphones:
“What is the difference between a phone and a glory hole...? It’s a rectangular shaped hole and strangers are jizzing data all over your face every day, every day.” (54:00, Duncan)
On Modern Sacrifice:
“I get it. You're not like coating your child with lavender and …driv[ing] a dagger into their heart, but you're posting pictures of them in a fucking bathing suit online. ...It’s not child sacrifice in the classic way, but things evolve, man.” (57:45, Duncan)
On Disinformation and Tech Overlords:
"Jerome Powell can't do childcare for me. That's what I need, fucking childcare. Unless Jerome Powell is coming to the fucking house to figure out why my kid's bathtub doesn't have hot water. Fuck him." (59:55, Duncan)
On Revolution:
“Not looking at your phone is like not taking your meds at the fucking cuckoo house. …Just a few days off and your world will exponentially get better.” (46:30, Duncan)
On Habituation:
“Look at the way you feel when your phone rings. …Does that make you feel good? …When that motherfucker vibrates, it’s a little volt. A little, ‘Hey, freak out for a second, won’t you?’ …No different. …It’s conditioning.” (62:00, Duncan)
On Psycho-Cybernetics & Chaos Magick:
“Psycho-Cybernetics is saying it doesn't have to be anything big...just something simple, something that isn't even that exciting. You just need something to replace your worried mind, to replace those thoughts with. Whoa, it totally fucking works.” (71:20, Duncan)
Operation Beast Blast:
“You really think Egypt was always that fucking hot? ...The pyramids are basically air fryers. You stick a fucking pharaoh in there, it just withers them up.” (94:10, Duncan)
The episode blends raw honesty, biting humor, absurdism, and sincere philosophical inquiry. Duncan’s delivery swings effortlessly between parody, insight, and raw vulnerability, often leveraging surreal metaphors and “conspiracy” as both critique and comedy. Think George Carlin meets Ram Dass meets Reddit meme culture.
This episode is a wild ride through the existential (and often hilarious) hazards of modern life. Duncan Trussell urges listeners to disconnect from digital anxiety machines, reclaim agency over their attention, experiment with reshaping their consciousness (with a nudge toward old-school self-help and chaos magick), and join him in a metaphysical war against the monuments of delusion—whether they’re internet black rectangles or the literal Pyramids of Giza. Everything’s perfect...as soon as you step away from the screen.*