731: What if everyday objects possess secret, ancient consciousness?

Summary

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Episode Summary: Duncan Trussell Family Hour #731

Title: What if everyday objects possess secret, ancient consciousness?
Date: January 10, 2026
Host: Duncan Trussell
Guest/Co-host: Josh

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Overview

This episode of the Duncan Trussell Family Hour is an irreverent dive into the bizarre, philosophical, and hilarious, as Duncan takes on an AI-suggested topic: "What if everyday objects possess secret, ancient consciousness?" With his signature blend of surreal humor, existential musings, and approachable wisdom, Duncan explores the possible sentience of the mundane, detours into personal stories, art, sexuality, and a raw discussion of politics and society, all while lampooning the AI-driven world of content creation. The conversational chemistry with co-host Josh keeps things unpredictable and playful.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Embracing the Algorithm’s Absurdity

[Begins ~00:00]

• Duncan admits to “surrendering” to AI content suggestions for the episode, listing the hilariously off-kilter topics proposed by YouTube’s algorithm, and uses this as a tongue-in-cheek criticism of content homogenization.
• “Rather than fight against it, I’m joining it, friends. I’m joining the fucking algorithm. I’m merging with the machine on today’s episode.” (Duncan, 03:26)
• Sets the tone for both playful submission and subtle resistance to algorithmic culture.

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2. What If Everyday Objects Are Conscious?

[Main topic starts ~05:00]

• Duncan playfully imagines a world where objects like toothbrushes, coffee mugs, and phones are ancient watchers, imbued with wisdom and memory.
• “Imagine your toothbrush isn’t just a tool, but a silent observer carrying millennia of forgotten wisdom.” (Duncan, 05:34)
• Considers the psychological effect of viewing the world as animate and interconnected, riffing on chaos magic and chaos magicians who believe objects can carry metaphysical residue.

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3. Outrageous Rituals & the Secret Lives of Family Relics

[12:00 - 18:00]

• Duncan shifts into an explicit, surreal speculative monologue: what if vibrators and boxer shorts, infused with physical residues, are magical wands or portals to other worlds?
• “Perhaps your mother has transitioned into the next phase of reality, but her vibrator has not…Could a little bit of who she was be locked within her vibrator?” (Duncan, 09:49)
• Mock-ritual advice (mixing bodily fluids, ritualistic uses of vibrators and boxer shorts) satirizes both chaos magic and the episode's "AI-generated script."
• The “honey badger versus your parents’ underwear” house bit highlights the episode’s blend of shock humor and playful subversion.

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4. Art, Self-Improvement, and the Relentless Ego

[17:00 - 23:00]

• Duncan and Josh veer into a discussion about art, self-improvement, and the futility of chasing perfection—Duncan’s attempts at drawing, Josh’s marble boob sculptures.
• “I’m going to crack the goddamn code. I think I’m two years away, maybe a year and a half from being at the level of like a fairly talented sixth grader.” (Duncan, 17:28)
• The pressure of ego and the never-ending climb to satisfaction are emphasized, with both hosts sharing artistic insecurities.

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5. Sexuality, Age, and the Strangeness of Desire

[24:00 - 28:00]

• A frank conversation on the reality and awkwardness of horniness into old age, the shifting standards of beauty, and the perpetual presence of sexual desire, regardless of biological aging.
• “For you youngs...you feel like this shit is never gonna happen to you...It’s really hard to understand that you’re melting down, that you are slowly just dissolving.” (Duncan, 25:18)

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6. Celebrity Weirdness and Alleged Rituals

[28:00 - 33:00]

• Humorous exchange about rumors of Leonardo DiCaprio’s alleged sexual practices (“headphones on while girls ride him”)—riffing on the strangeness of celebrity myths.

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7. Technology and the Spectacle of Protest

[33:00 - 42:00]

• Discussion shifts to current events: protests, livestream culture, and how violence and protest have become national spectacle—commentary on society’s voyeuristic tendencies.
• “It’s reached this...everything is being completely warped by the fact that most of us are bystanders...turning it into some kind of spectacle versus, like, something serious or important.” (Duncan, 35:47)
• They dissect a recent heavily politicized police shooting and the media narrative machinery.

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8. A World on Edge: Policing, Violence, and Civilization

[43:00 - 54:00]

• Duncan provides personal stories (getting arrested at a goth party as a teenager) to highlight shifting attitudes toward law enforcement and societal authority.
• Societal regression is discussed as a step in global social development, referencing Buckminster Fuller’s “spaceship Earth” and the interconnectedness of humanity.

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9. Piracy, Ideology, and the Fate of Civilization

[56:00 - 70:00]

• Critiques of modern politics: the infiltration of communism (“Communism itself has been infiltrated”), failures of capitalism, and the intractability of ideological polarization.
• “The idea of work itself has been corrupted by transactionalism...We might not even know what work is.” (Duncan, 73:15)
• Calls for new, yet-to-be-invented systems beyond piracy and transactionalism, instead of endlessly repeating old cycles.

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10. Everyday Experience, Joy, and Non-Duality

[80:00 - 91:00]

• Buddhist philosophical reflections: finding peace by abandoning the binary of “good” and “bad” experiences.
• Reads from the Third Patriarch of Zen:
  “The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised…” (Duncan quoting, 84:58)
• Practical parenting wisdom: happiness lies in service, not desire for personal gratification, aligning with Buddhist teachings on flow and presence.

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11. The Mystery of Male Masturbation and Technosexuality

[93:30 - End]

• Final sprawling thread: futuristic “hand job machines” at CES, the (comic) ethics of sharing masturbatory patterns with friends, and the untold mysteries (“How did Einstein jerk off?”).
• “Sharing jerk off algorithms is gay.” “Dean, you guys need therapy. You and Albert should get into couples therapy!” (Duncan, Josh, 97:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you piss off the AI, you get captured in some kind of infinite time loop and repeat your life over and over and over again in a simulation...” (Duncan, 04:27)
• “Your dad’s boxer shorts suck. They’re so fucked up and gross...could those weird old boxer shorts actually be portals to another realm?” (Duncan, 11:27)
• “The clitoroti want to fucking control everything. That’s the real problem. The clitoroti, you know, they found out that the clitoris doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, much like Bigfoot.” (Duncan riffing, 16:15)
• Josh: “Mainly boobs. And I use marble to do it.” (sculpting, 19:52)
• “You have to find some other thing than...you can’t, like, try to go back to your 20s when you’re in your 40s...” (Duncan, 27:20)
• “What happened to us? Jesus Christ. Half of us are just sitting at home watching people get shot while we’re taking shits, making jokes about it...” (Duncan, 40:33)
• “We’re all crew members on a spaceship literally moving through space...and this fucking thing can’t keep working if we’re trying to run it like we’re not on a ship together...” (Duncan on Buckminster Fuller, 53:00)
• “We need a way to wipe everyone’s memory completely. Erase everything. Erase the chalkboard of memory and culture. Start fresh. Who knows? We’d probably do the same thing.” (Duncan, 56:00)
• “Communism itself has been infiltrated. That’s what’s actually happened.” (Duncan, 65:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Introduction, AI content critique, episode premise | | 05:00 | Primary topic introduced: objects and consciousness | | 09:30 | Chaos magic and family relics in ritual | | 17:00 | Art, sculpting, ego, and perseverance | | 24:00 | Aging, sexuality, and beauty | | 28:00 | DiCaprio rumors, celebrity farce | | 33:00 | Technology, livestreams, and protest spectacle | | 43:00 | Policing, violence, and societal regression | | 56:00 | Piracy, one world, and ideologies | | 73:00 | Work, capitalism, and the meaning of labor | | 80:00 | Zen, happiness, parenting, and experience | | 93:30 | Vibrators, male masturbation, and hand job robots |

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Final Thoughts & Closing

The episode is a quintessentially Duncan Trussell journey—equal parts absurd comedy, raw personal insight, pop-sociology, mystical riffs, and unexpectedly sincere philosophy. He takes the AI-provided prompt as an invitation to lampoon both the state of content and the very human urge to find meaning, all while retaining the heart at the center of his chaos. The episode careens between laugh-out-loud moments (honey badgers, ancient vibrators), depth (parenthood, Zen), and social critique, making for a unique and engaging listen.

To quote Duncan’s closing reflection:
“The moment you’re able to just accept experience as it is...not try to make it better...not try to warp it or change it...it’s an incredible feeling. That is how I get into the flow state...” (Duncan quoting Zen, 89:30)

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Episode highlights for the uninitiated:

• Surreal humor about sentient objects and rituals
• Raw, real talk about art, aging, politcs and parenting
• Thoughtful integration of Zen and chaos magic philosophies
• Wild bits on male sexuality, technological augmentation, and more
• Consistently blending the ridiculous and the profound

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Transcript

[A]

Hello. Are we live? We're live. Thank you so much for coming back. It's good to see you. I thought about you last night. I was looking at some flowers and I thought about your feet. Dainty, soft, sweet, salty. I thought about you rolling in mud. Thought about you stuck in mud, struggling to get out. Help me, please. Crouched there at the edge of the quicksand pit, appreciating your body. Your eyes so vivid and clear, your voice so real. And as I watched you sink down into that mud pit, down, down, down, back to the earth. I cried tears of happiness, tears of joy. I cried for my eyes, cried for my cock, weeping and watching as my fluids joined your final resting place. Watched as my cum and tears bubbled there in the froth you left behind. Welcome to the dtfh. Hope everyone's doing great out there. I'm doing pretty good after that last shitty solo episode. I told Josh we gotta do another one. I had. I still have baby brain right now. It's real. I'm fuzzy and fucked up. I can barely make words form. I just wanna. It's apparently some kind of hormonal shit. It happens to dudes too. When a baby comes, you just go into this bizarre zone. I'm not going to talk about the baby the whole time. This time. In fact, I've given up coming up with my own ideas for these episodes. I was thrilled to find that YouTube is now offering an AI function that will tell you what to say, that suggests topics for you, and it is suggested this topic for this episode, along with some other. Can you show all the topics it suggested? You know, I've been insulted. If you're a streamer, if you have a podcast, you get insulted. Like anytime you look into the comments, someone says the worst thing you could ever say to any human being, happily, gleefully says that to you. You can almost see the sparkle in their eye. But I don't think I've ever been more offended than by the topics that Google suggested I talk about after analyzing my episodes. It's the wor. What you're seeing here is maybe the most vicious critique of me as a person. For the trolls and the haters out there, just go to the suggestions for what it wants me to talk about. You can't do worse than that. These are the suggestions for those of you in the listening audience that YouTube thinks I should talk about. Joe Rogan's dad meets UAP Gerb. Quashing beefs and opening portals. If aliens watch reality tv. Their theories on human mating rituals. What if our memories are just shared delusions, the philosophical ramifications of our online digital afterlife, why are collective neuroses are humanity's greatest, most hilarious invention? If your brother's a hater, can two cats be your cosmic family? Let's scroll down a little bit. Orbs in the collective unconscious, why we still question the real. If you're wondering, like, if you're one of the many people out there who feel old, like something's changed in the culture and you can't quite put your finger on it, you're looking at how everything kind of seems homogenized, everything seems the same, everything seems neutered, and I speak as a half neutered man. Everything seems kind of nerfed and watered down. There's your answer right there. That's what the algorithm wants us to do. And rather than fight against it, I'm joining it friends. I'm joining the fucking algorithm. I'm merging with the machine on today's episode. And not only am I going to make what it suggested the topic of today's rant. What if everyday objects possess secret ancient consciousness? I'm going to go through each of these suggestions and we're just gonna see what that. Cause my. I'm just curious. I feel like already, because of the song at the beginning and talking about weeping and coming into a quicksand pit that you're drowning in, I'm off. Like, it's like, no, fuck you. But I'm just curious, if I do exactly what it wants, are we gonna get, is it gonna start serving this thing up to some poor unwitting strangers? Because for me, that's joyful for all of us, it's joyful. For those of you in the chat, it's joyful. For anyone watching this, there is some possibility that just someone is just going to stumble upon this and be like, what the fuck am I watching? And then you guys can play along. So we'll see what happens. And what helps me is if you get those hearts rolling, get those likes rolling, the subscribes rolling because this draws them in like moths to a flame. And then we can add to the general punch in the solar plexus of the zeitgeist by doing the most mundane, weird, shitty thing that AI wants us to do. Rocco's Basilisk friends, I don't want to piss off the AI. If you piss off the AI, you get captured in some kind of infinite time loop and repeat your life over and over and over again in a simulation created by the next generation of artificial So I am bowing down to the Techno Christ and we're just going to do it? Why not? It's great. So let's start the rant. Guys. Have you ever wondered if everyday objects possess secret ancient consciousness? Imagine your toothbrush isn't just a tool, but a silent observer carrying millennia of forgotten wisdom. What if the ancient consciousness of the universe isn't in distant galaxies, but residing within the mundane objects surround, surrounding us? Today, we're diving into a mind bending what if that redefines our reality one everyday object at a time? This isn't just a thought experiment. It's an invitation to see the world anew. Bom bom bom. I guess this is where you'd put like some kind of shitty music. Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum. Intriguing scenario. Hook, do you remember that old creaky chair in your living room? What if it's not just old, but ancient? Holding secrets from forgotten civilizations, Observing every conversation and emotion. Could the seemingly inanimate objects in your home possess a hidden sentience? A quiet hum of consciousness dating back to the dawn of time? Prepare to have your perceptions shattered as we explore the startling possibility that everything around you is secretly alive. But first, a quick word from our sponsors. Halliburton. Halliburton. Producing some of the most incredible advanced technologies for defense ever made. Halliburton. We care about you. And making sure that those that threaten you are evaporated. Halliburton. Go to Halliburton.com, use offer code DTFH to get 30% off your first order of a missile defense system. What if the coffee mug you're holding has witnessed countless mornings, heard whispered secrets and carries the collective memory of every hand that's held it? Imagine the untold stories, the ancient wisdom locked within the ordinary. Is your phone just a device? Or a modern day oracle with a history beyond its creation date? Join us as we unlock the speculative doors to a world where every object has a soul and every whisper holds a secret. But first, a word from our sponsors. Palantir. Palantir. A wonderful company, keeping America safe. You don't want to feel alone and you never will. With Palantir. We're watching everything. We will keep you safe. Let's dive back in.

[B]

I think that was the last one.

[A]

What?

[B]

That was the last one.

[A]

Say, say more. Say give. Give. Write a script. What the fuck? Look, it's just doing the same thing over and over again. Here we go. Here's your call to curiosity, you fucks. Look around you right now. That lamp, that book, even your phone. What if they're not just inanimate objects, but silent observers holding ancient wisdom within their very atoms? Prepare to rethink your entire understanding of reality as we uncover the fascinating concept of everyday objects possessing a secret, ancient consciousness. Perhaps your mother has transitioned into the next phase of reality, but her vibrator has not. Have you ever thought about that? What about the consciousness of your mother's vibrator? Could a little bit of who she was be locked within her vibrator? A little bit of who she was? According to many chaos magicians, the orgasm is incredibly powerful. The orgasm can be used in rituals, manifestation, sigil magic. From that perspective, your mother's vibrator is more than just a device for pleasure. Your mother's vibrator is actually a wand. A mystical wand. Which is why, if your mother's still around, find her vibrator politely and respectfully ask her if you could bring it downstairs. Scrape off the congealed mucusy slime from your mother's nasty old bush. Collect it in jars over time once the jar is filled. According to many chaos magicians, if you bring that jar out during the next full moon, pleasure yourself into the jar, mixing your seed with your mother's squirt, you will be able to bring many great forces into your life. Think of your dad's old shitty boxer shorts, stained with weird stains in front and back. Could those weird old boxer shorts actually be portals to another realm? Many chaos magicians and scientists think so, according to a new MIT study. Your dad's boxer shorts suck. They're so fucked up and gross. Seriously, that's your dad walking around in his fucking boxer shorts down in the kitchen. That's your progenitor. That's who made you. That's your dad during the next full moon. Many chaos magicians say that if you take your dad's boxer shorts, bring them into the backyard, mix them with the jar of your mother's squirt, and then jerk off on them, you will bring incredible benefits not just to your own life, but to other people's lives as well. Josh, can you pull up an image of a honey badger?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

That is a fucking honey badger. One of the filthiest, angriest, most destructive and deadly creatures on the planet. That honey badger would run from your mom's nasty old bush. It crawls into hornet's nests and eats bees. But if it took one look, your mom's disgusting, hairy, hairy bush, and your dad's foul boxer shorts that thing would head for the fucking hills. And these are the people that made. You've got to recognize that that's the first step to freedom, according to many Chaos Guys, I'm just reading the script. This is the AI Script. It's based on my viewership. I'm just reading what it tells me to say. This is not my own personal opinion. I have no opinion on your father's nasty ass box or shorts or your mom's bush. But the AI has scanned my viewers. You know how this stuff works. I don't know. This is what it's telling me to say. The honey badger. Brave, courageous, an incredible creature. Fast, indestructible. It eats snakes. It can get bitten by a cobra and get back up and eat the cobra. But this honey badger, if it took one look at your mom's pubic mound, would immediately die. It would have a fear seizure and die. That is how disgusting your mother's bush is. But does your mother's bush contain an ancient consciousness? Could it be that your mother's vagina contains within it residual atomic and subatomic particles from the hundreds of men who have penetrated her? Could it be that each of these subatomic particles is their own planet? And on that planet, there are civilizations living right now in your mother's incredibly hairy, lumpy puss? Many Chaos Magicians think this could be the case, which is why it is very important if you really are interested in changing your life. And why wouldn't you be? To make sure that you scrape your mother's vibrator, put it in a jar, put it in a petri dish, jerk off into it over the next full moon, and unleash within you the hidden, ancient power forces that the federal government does not want you to recognize that you have. According to many Chaos Magicians, there are active agents within the federal government who. Who do not want human beings to know this one simple trick to absolute freedom and liberation. That's the end of the script. What do you guys think? I don't know. Sure as fuck didn't do much for our viewership.

[B]

I got a question.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What if my father was a free baller and my mother didn't own a clitoris?

[A]

Is that from your script?

[B]

No, no, no. That was just the question that I had from my growing up.

[A]

If your mother didn't own a clitoris.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Why would your. Where's your mom buying clitori from?

[B]

I don't know. She just never owned one.

[A]

You mean a vibrator or a clitoris?

[B]

No, a clitoris what do you mean.

[A]

She never owned one? You don't buy clitori? Is that the plural for clitoris? Look up what's plural for clitoris. Isn't it clitori or is it clitorises? We got to get our terms straight here.

[B]

Clitorises.

[A]

It's not clitori. Behold, a field of undulating clitori. The clitoroti. The clitoroti want to fucking control everything. That's the real problem. The clitoroti, you know, they found out that the clitoris doesn't exist. It's a myth, much like Bigfoot.

[B]

Was that a man doctor who came up with that?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Okay. Kind of just said doctor twice.

[A]

Well, I mean, if. I mean, honestly, yeah, it was a man doctor, AKA a doctor. Yeah. But yeah, the clitoris, it does not exist. Sorry, Bestello, Maserati. It's not real. And yes, these YouTube suggestions are fucking insane. It's insane. By the way, man, I know I go back and forth on the AI thing all the time, but right now I am down on AI this is my phase right now. I've been working nonstop trying to learn how to draw, and I don't even know what's fueling me here, but I'm obsessed every single day. Now I'm going on Instagram, I'm looking at sketch instructional videos. And let me tell you something, guys, I am not a natural visual artist. This shit does not come easy to me. But I'm going to crack the goddamn code. I think I'm two years away, maybe a year and a half from being at the level of like a fairly talented sixth grader when it comes to drawing. And once I get there, I can't wait. I can't wait. I don't even know what I want to do with it yet. But I. Something. I don't know what I want to do, why I'm even doing this every day. It's all I do. It used to be video games. Now I just sit and fucking scribble and sketch. We just watch the entire God damn Sopranos series, me and my wife, you know, she's like recovering and we just watch Episode after. I don't know how many Tony Sopranos I've fucking drawn. You know how embarrassing that is to be drawing? To be working on drawing Tony Soprano? Like, what is. What have I turned into here? Just sketching Tony fucking Soprano. It doesn't look good, guys. Looks bad. And then I tried to draw Tim Waltz just because, you know, he's in the news. It's easy to get a Big picture of him. And guess what? My Tim Waltz look like Tony fucking Soprano. Then I just realized, oh, I guess, like, I just draw one person and it's Tony Soprano. And it doesn't even look like Tony Soprano. Just like a kind of balding, fat dude. And so this is where I've been. But I really want to. I really do want to, like, become like, the greatest visual artist of all time. It's never gonna happen, but that's inside of me. Is that crazy? Do you have shit like that, Josh? Like, you know what I mean? It's like the ego is so insidious and insane. It's never pleased with anything. Like, compared to, like, a year ago when I started this shit, my drawing was abysmal. Now it's just like medium abysmal, but better. Not enough for me. Like, if I looked at what I'm drawing now, I'd be like, holy shit, that's really good compared to what I was. But now when I look at. I'm like, that's. I can't. I don't even want to look at it.

[B]

That's why I started sculpting.

[A]

What are you sculpting?

[B]

Mainly boobs. And I use marble to do it.

[A]

You actually sculpt in marble? I was wondering. You always come in here with, like, white dust on you. That's marble.

[B]

That's one of the substances. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Wow. That must be really an expensive thing to learn. You know, to get to. Marble's expensive. Like, if you fuck up once, like you do, you have to get a whole new slab of marble.

[B]

If you go to rich construction sites at night, there's nobody there. And it has just free marble that you can pick up.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's in cemeteries.

[B]

Cemeteries as well.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I've always. Nothing I love more than a well sculpted breast. And I've marveled at them. You know, you feel them and it's like, wow, this is incredible. Like, it's exactly like a breast. But tell me a little bit. What goes into the process. Do you have?

[B]

Oh, I have a specialty. I like soggy boobs. So there's a good dip.

[A]

Soggy?

[B]

Soggy. Like you dip a cookie in milk and they just kind of start to hang a little bit. That's.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Drapers.

[B]

Yes, exactly. And so I like to get the curvature of that.

[A]

And that's gotta be harder than, like, a firm bra. Like, what do you think is harder? A soggy boob. A draper or. Or like someone with breast implants.

[B]

The soggy boob Cause you have to get the dimension of it curving back onto the chest.

[A]

And tell me a little bit about your sculpting journey. When you began working in marble, did you use models or, like, what was your inspiration?

[B]

I used photos. Not allowed to use models in the house. And so I just went off of that. And then it's a lot of feeling. Boobs.

[A]

Yes, of course.

[B]

You got to feel a lot of boobs.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

And it's the other reason soggy is my specialty. Usually older ladies are the ones that let me feel their boobs.

[A]

So I was like, just go with this, man. I. You know, I was going to an art supply store. I finally got out of the house yesterday, and I was going to an art supply store to get notebooks, because I filled all my notebooks up with just. It's. If you saw. If, like, I leave my notebook on the street and you found it, you would feel, like, worried for the. You would be like, my God, like, some. This person needs help. Like, something is malfunctioning in this person. Like a schizo. It looks, but it's just like, you know, I'm trying to learn the. Like, I almost have facial proportions down, but you never get it. I mean, it's. Again, I'm not even being sorry. Like, it's a year at least, but. And that's every day working my ass off. I think in a year, I'll be able to do, like, a face where someone might look at it. Like, okay, that's something. But anyway, I got off track. I'm walking to this art supply store, and I pass a sexy old lady. You ever. You know what I'm talking about? Where, like, you. They're, like, old, old, old, but somehow still sexy. And you just think, like, fuck, man, what were they like when they were younger? You know? And, like, she gave me this. Like, when I passed her, she, like. It was sort of. It was weird. A kind of a flirty look, too. And, you know, I'm fucking married. I just had a kid. You know, I'm not gonna bang down an old lady, but. And she was covered in, like, perfume. And then. I don't know, it just really made me think about, like, the human soul, you know, like, encapsulated within that old lady is apparently an eternal soul, if you buy into that stuff. And not an old lady body. But I don't know, man. Like, if I was horny and younger and single, I wonder if I would have made love to that sweet old lady.

[B]

Yeah. And you guys she would have bought you your stuff inside the store and everything. It would have been nice. It's a whole other life, though.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

You don't do that when you see a person, you're like, man, if I was single and all that, and then what would happen after that, you know, and what it would lead to?

[A]

It was just a weird moment. I don't know the age range of people here in my chat. Thank you, Paul Oglesby. Greetings. I don't know the age range of people in my chat here, but for you youngs, you feel like this shit is never gonna happen to you. Like, you don't imagine you're going to get old, and that's great. You don't need to spend your 20s or 30s all freaked out over the fact that your body is like being weathered by time and your DNA is just going to give up at some point. Just enjoy it. But it's really hard to understand that you're melting down, that you are slowly just dissolving the printer. Your DNA, it's a printer. It's printing different copies of you over and over and over again. That thing starts running out of fucking ink, man. And that's old. That's when you get old. It's mistakes. I mean, if you've ever seen your printer when it starts running out of ink, that's the exact same thing that happens to old people. You're just. It's not replicating you in the right way anymore. It's running out of certain colors. And as the colors start running out, your hair gets gray, your eyes get all saggy and weird. It's the craziest thing to watch. It's the craziest thing to watch. But within that is apparently an eternal outside of time soul situation. And so those two collide. And you know, you can't. Like, I feel incredibly lucky that I've got a family. I'm married. Because one thing we know from watching documentaries, if swingers at old folks home, they fuck old people, you stay horny till the end, baby. And so, like, I don't know, man. At some point, once you get to be a certain age and you're horny, it's like you have to have some decorum. You know what I mean? Like, you can't. You look. It's not a good look.

[B]

No, they're all getting chlamydia.

[A]

Who is? The old folks. Oh, yeah. The disease is spread through old folks homes. But I'm talking about, like, once you hit a certain age, you're Horn. You're horny. You're still horny. And then. I don't know. You know what I mean, though? It just started. It's just a weird look to be like a horn dog, but you're in your 40s or 50s. You know what I mean? It's weird. Like, my dad would get horny. That was weird. You know, you'd have, like, girlfriends and stuff. And it's just strange. You don't want to accept it, but it's true, you know? And you, like, you got to see through it, I guess, when you get to a certain age, like, you can't look for, like, youth can't be the mark of beauty anymore, you know? You have to find some other thing than, like, you know, you can't, like, try to go back to your 20s when you're in your 40s if you're.

[B]

A man or if you're a woman.

[A]

Either way.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Either way. I mean, I get it. I'm not a fucking Leonardo DiCaprio hater. Like, so many people are. What do you want him to fucking do, you know? I'm not mad at him for that. A lot of people are, though.

[B]

He's actually the most normal out of any of the child actors that grew up. If you hear of his sexual proclivities, it's the most normal.

[A]

He seems like a great dude. He just gets in trouble all the time because, what, he breaks up with people and they're like, what, 25? 25. You're out. You're fucking out. Yeah, but it's like, that worked, but now it slowly stops working. I just don't think you care at that level, though. You're just like, yeah, fuck you.

[B]

The rumor I heard is that he plays. I forgot the name of the band. But he has headphones on, and he just lays there. And then they bring in a girl, and that girl rides him and then she leaves, but he has his headphones on the whole time.

[A]

Say that again.

[B]

He has his headphones on.

[A]

Are you making this up?

[B]

I'm not making this up. This is what I was. This is what I heard.

[A]

Where'd you hear it? A dream.

[B]

YouTube. Yeah, that they signed, like, as people have the girl sign a contract, but.

[A]

Now I believe that. I think you're bullshitting with the furry thing.

[B]

No, not for. He has headphones. It's. It's.

[A]

I thought you said he makes them dress.

[B]

No, no, no. He has headphones on and he's. It's playing.

[A]

I can't remember. Eye the Tiger.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

It's like theme for There Will Be Blood.

[B]

No, we played their song on here before they started in college.

[A]

Jesus Christ Superstar.

[B]

No.

[A]

Fly Me to the Moon. What a Wonderful Life.

[B]

The one about my bullets run faster than you. Then you start.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that band. He doesn't do that. That's a lie.

[B]

Yeah, that he listens to that.

[A]

You're making that up.

[B]

No, that he listens to that while she rides.

[A]

Pull it up. All right, you're making that up. He doesn't listen to Pumped Up Kicks while he's banging. That can't be true. That's not true. Josh is making it funny. What does Leonardo DiCaprio listen to? And making love. This can't be real. This episode of the DTFH has been supported by Soul Friends. If you're looking for a way to wrap up your day to get cozy, to feel that nice soft, warm, fuzzy feeling, then I would invite you to investigate. Soul's out of Office Gummy. It's a real game changer. It's amazing what we have access to these days. Makes my nights feel calm, sweet and I've noticed more restful sleep. Soul makes feeling good simple. They make delicious hemp derived CBD and THC products with precise dosing, clean ingredients and formulations designed for predictable feel good effects. SOL is the alcohol alternative that puts you in control of your mood. Their best selling out of Office Gummies deliver a customizable calming buzz. Give yourself the gift of a healthier unwind. Right now, Sol is offering my audience 30% off your entire order. Go to getsoul.com, use code DUNCAN. That's getsoul.com promo code DUNCAN for 30% off. Thanks, Sol. There's not. Nothing's gonna come up. This is bullshit.

[B]

What was the name of that?

[A]

People are dying. Why are you making jokes like this? That's mgmt. People are dying, Josh. Why are you making jokes like this? People are fucking dying. Just don't, don't. You're not gonna find it because it's not real. It's not even MGMT that sings that.

[B]

It's not?

[A]

No.

[B]

Who sings it?

[A]

I don't know. It's not mgmt. This isn't real. People are dying. Oh my God. The friend claims. Friend claims that while Leo and the woman were engaging in sexual intercourse, Leo reached for his vaporizer. His vaporizer like a laser gun and a pair of noise canceling headphones laid back and closed his eyes and signaled for her to keep going. This was the same unverified story I'd heard so many months ago. This is from Jezebel.com. open it up. Why not? It's over anyway. Who fucking cares? We might as well just sink into tabloid fucking gossip. Shit, Franklin. Duh. God, I hate Jezebel. I hate this shit. Get it off the screen. People are dying. Don't show me that shit. Jesus Christ, Josh.

[B]

Oh, foster the people.

[A]

I've been watching some riot some videos. Last night we watched. What's her name? God damn it. I can't believe I can't remember her name. There's this woman, Karen Carlin. Carlin. You guys know what I'm talking about. You know. You ever watch her? It's funny. She calls herself a fascist, but I think she's joking. But she, like, streams the antifa rallies and stuff in Portland, and it's just wild to watch. It's really fascinating to watch, but there's apparently gonna be a lot of big fucking protests this weekend. Big. Minnesota. She was saying that she, like, infiltrates like, Antifa and like communist blocs and, like, is a journalist and writes about what's going on in there. She's really an expert at all the different flavors of communism and anarchism and just the sort of subculture of like, you know, the revolutionary subculture. And also she's funny because, like, people conflate her with like, maga and then MAGA people will get into her chat and say some MAGA shit and then she just rips them to shreds. She thinks there's fucking idiots. And it's fascinating to watch. But yeah, apparently this weekend there's going to be some huge protests. But she was saying, like, the Portland antifa are like more like LARPing. You know what I mean? They're like. They're having fun. But the Minnesota antifa, it's like the real deal. There's fucking scary black block fucking like, no joke. Let's overthrow the federal government. Let's fucking go. And it's really creepy to think about that because in Minnesota there's going to be some shit that goes down. At least that's what she was saying. I do buy.

[B]

Is it from the lady who got shot?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they took out this lady. Shot this lady. Fucking mag dumped into her car when she's already driving away. And the. This is like. It's such a powder keg right now out there. Such a fucking powder keg, man. That. That was in number one. That was inevitable. Like somebody was gonna get shot by one of these people. There's no Way around it, someone's getting shot one way or the other. And now it's like, it's on. Now it's fucking on. You know, most of these people, they're not gonna do anything. They're gonna protest, they're gonna march, they're gonna do mourning. They're gonna, like, boycott shit. They're gonna try to, like, turn up the heat on senators, whatever. But there's a small contingent of them who are like. That's the thing she says is, like, the difference between the left and the right is that the left has shit that they will die for and the right, not so much. Now, I don't know if that. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about that. Maybe I shouldn't have said it. But the basic idea is that, like, there's, like, these people. She like, breaks it down. Like, the general accusation from the right to the protesters on the left is they're paid by George Soros. And she's like, you are fucking crazy if you think they're doing this for money. That is not what's happening. It's much deeper than that. These people legitimately want to overthrow the federal government for real. They want this. They don't want someone to get killed, but they want there to be action, like violent action that will create some kind of, at the very least, Balkanization of the United States that could lead to, you know, some new form of, like, modern communism or something like that. And she was saying in Minnesota, it's going to go off this weekend Now, I don't know, maybe not, but I'm definitely going to be watching. That's the other weird thing about the times that we're in right now is that everything is being completely absurdified by access to technology. It's like these protests have become like some form of national sport in the sense that people film them, livestream them, people comment on them, People, like, watch them as a form of entertainment. Now, that's the problem is, like, it's reached this. Like, everything is being completely warped by the fact that most of us are bystanders watching it and turning it into some kind of spectacle versus, like, something serious or important, including the lady getting shot. This is crazy the way it works. Like, everybody's got a comment on this fucking thing. Everybody's got some kind of. I mean, it's a fucking mom got blasted. Like. But, you know, now everybody wants to, like, blame one side or the other, and fucking mom got shot.

[B]

Well, J.D. vance didn't make it any better. Did you hear what he said, What'd he say?

[A]

I'm sure you want to play it. Yeah, play it. But this was an attack on law and order. This was an attack on the American people. The way that the media, by and large, has reported this story has been an absolute disgrace, and it puts our law enforcement officers at risk every single day. What that headline leaves out is the fact that that very off ice officer nearly had his life ended, dragged by a car six months ago, 33 stitches in his leg. So you think maybe he's a little bit sensitive about somebody ramming him with an automobile. What that headline leaves out is that that woman was there to interfere with a legitimate law enforcement operation in the United States. Okay, pause there. So how do you do the headline? He wants to hear, like, that's. There's a lot of, like, math in the headline he's wanting there. How do you say that in a way that makes him happy? Like, Wait, did he say 30 months before?

[B]

Six months.

[A]

An ice. What do they call them? Officers? An ICE officer who got 30 stitches six months ago was attacked by a lady. I didn't say it in a way that, like, he. Well, you can't even say it the way he wants you to say it. He's. How is the media supposed to report on that in a way that doesn't upset him.

[B]

Ice hero kills pedo.

[A]

That's pretty much what you gotta say. Like, how do you even. How do you even report on that in the way he wants? Like, he can't even put the fucking headline together. There's so many facts in the fucking headline. I mean, fuck, it sucks. That's the headline. This fucking sucks. This sucks. Why can't we just stop at that? Fucking sucks. What the fuck happened? That's a good headline. What happened to us? Jesus Christ. Like, half of us are just sitting at home watching people get shot while we're taking shits, making jokes about it, leaving dumb comments, live streaming, yapping about it while you drink vodka. What happened? The thing that really bothers me, you know, outside of, like, the murderer, is like, that's she had three fucking kids. You know? Like, that seems to be the headline that is also being missed. It's like, there's three fucking kids whose mom just got fucking murdered. You know, whether or not, like, he was defending himself or what? You know, she was driving away. So I think that's the real problem is, like, he didn't mag dump. As the car was heading towards him, he mag dumped. After the car drove off, he. The.

[B]

The guy who Shot her, was right in front of her. So when she took off, he jumped.

[A]

Out of the way and shot her.

[B]

And then shot her.

[A]

But the argument is, yeah, you don't need to shoot her at that point. No, you're not in danger anymore. Yeah, like if someone's running towards you with a fucking knife, you. You gotta kill him.

[B]

But according to JD Vance, the guy has PTSD from already getting run.

[A]

Yeah, but it's like. But isn't that also. Then it's sort of like, great. So wait, why is that guy working? Why is that guy packing heat if he's, like, suffering from ptsd? Yeah, I mean, there's this stupid argument. It's a stupid fucking argument. I mean, look, you kids, you gotta be. You gotta watch out, man, because that's the reality of what you're up against here. I do think that people have forgotten what they're dealing. When I was a young lad, like, you fucking avoided cops like the black plague. You were scared of them. It was like when you were a kid. I don't know if you guys remember this, but you. We kids used to be afraid of adults. Like, you were fucking terrified at, like, a party where there's a bunch of adults. You were fucking scared they would fuck you up, they would step on you, they'd burn you with cigarettes. You tried to avoid adults these days, kids want to be around adults. We've, like, evolved a little bit. But when you were my age, dude, you stay the fuck away from adults. Especially, like at cocktail parties and stuff. They would fuck you up. And also, like, cops. Jesus Christ, you don't fuck with cops. Maybe that makes me a pussy or something. But you just stay away. You just don't fuck with them. They would fuck you up. I've probably talked about this before. I got arrested. I got arrested just for, like, being at a party with a bunch of goths who stole tombstones from a cemetery. Can you believe that? Why did they do that? It was the fucking worst night of my life. They were goths. They just stole a bunch of tombstones. And I didn't know them that well, but it was a great party. Oh, I remember I was sitting back talking to this old, like, senior. I was in high school, older than me, and she was doing that thing, man, she was, like, running her, like, pushing her foot into my cock, you know, kind of like. It was so. It was so hot. And then right then, the party gets busted. I'm erect. Like, all the smart kids jump out the windows and fucking run. I sit there like A dumbass. She went out a window. I got arrested. You know what the cop's name was? Officer Paradise. They put me in a cop car, and I'll never forget it. They stole cassette tapes from these kids. And they were looking through the tapes to see which ones they got. I swear to God, it was crazy. It was my first encounter with actual police corruption. Then my mom had to come and pick me up. They're like, yeah, he was in a house with these goths who stole tombstones.

[B]

And he had a boner.

[A]

Thank God they didn't mention that. I think by the time they put me in the squad car, the boner was long gone. But you just stayed the fuck away from cops, you know? Like, I'm not saying it was justified that somebody mag dumped into a fucking mob, but the aggressive. The way some of these people are getting aggressive with police officers, it's like, dude, like, you are dealing with people who are just like. You know, you see that thing where, like, people with a. A dog, you know those videos I'm talking about? Like, someone will, like, kick a dog or something because they think it's on a leash. Then it gets off the leash and, like, bites their ass. That's what you're fucking with. Like, these. These people, like, some of them have, like, real serious shit going on, man. And they're just like, told, don't do anything. Stand there. Let them. They'll spit in your face. Don't fucking do anything. But you can't control all of them. They're going to go off leash, man, and that shit's going to happen again. That's the scariest part about it. Matter of time before it happens again. And now they're like. Now it seems like they're being given the signal of, like, do it. Do it. Because then if they do it, if, like, if the next time it happens, it increases the likelihood that people are going to fight back with real. With deadly force. And then when that happens, the lockdown, then it's just a fucking lockdown. Everybody gets locked down. That's. You know, you got to look at the situation and think, like, that seems to be the goal here, right? That's the goal.

[B]

The way Vance talks is. Is kind of scary because it's the inner thoughts that are actually coming out now. Like, before that, he said, he goes, you should no longer be ashamed to be white. Did you ever hear that speech he gave?

[A]

He said that? Yeah.

[B]

And so, like. And he's gonna run for president and on the next election, so he could be the guy to really, you know, put the hammer down.

[A]

Vance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. I mean, I, like, it's just. It's a. It's. You look at this, the situation right now, and it's like, this is just gonna probably snowball into something horrific if I. If I had to roll the dice. But I'm, you know, I'm being cynical. And the other thing is, this is the beautiful thing about having kids is it fucking takes you. Your ass out of it. Like, you. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. Oh, my God, we just, like, invaded Venezuela. The baby has a blowout. Like, I have. I have a diaper filling filled with baby. You know what I mean? That brings you back to reality. Whatever's happening out there. Fuck. I gotta, like. I've got real issues, like, to deal with, like, from moment to moment. There's, like, issues, man. I gotta, like, figure out a way to make sure all these, like, human. These humans I'm juggling are, like, not pushing each other down the stairs, you know? So there's something beautiful in that. But the other problem with having kids is, like, I knew right away when I saw that minivan. That's a fucking mom. He just shot into a minivan with, like, you know, probably, if I had to guess, I don't know, the age of her kids. In the minivan are discarded yogurt pouches, toys that the kids like to hold when they're in the van.

[B]

Their mom's blood.

[A]

And now their mom's blood. A certain smell to the van that they like, that they're familiar with. That van's hauled them from one place to the next. And it's not their fucking fault that their mom was a hardcore activist. Now their mom's fucking eliminated from their lives forever.

[B]

Do you think they're gonna turn her into a martyr?

[A]

She is, yeah. I mean, from the perspective of the people who are at the protest, definitively, that is a martyr for sure. Like, if the woman had been, like, driving the van at him. You're trained to, like, fire on people. Like, that's something that they have to, like, train. They have to beat that into police officers, which is, like, if somebody's running at you with a knife or a car or whatever, you have to kill them because, you know, the amount of time somebody can. It takes for someone with a knife to get to you. I saw this whole breakdown on a YouTube video. It's fucking terrifying. You can, like, shoot somebody with a knife and they could still cut your throat. So, like, you have to like, overcome the human part of yourself and, like, kill people who are potentially going to kill you. It's suicide by cop, so. They've been trained to do that shit. You know, I think that's what Vance, in a very ungraceful way, was trying to say is, like, these people are. Like, they're told to. Like, if they're. If there's a threat, you fucking shoot, which is what happened, you know, but it's a fuck. It's a fucking. So Mom. I mean, that wasn't like Jeffrey Dahmer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, So. I don't know. I hope. I hope I stop watching that shit tonight. I gotta get back into Dark Souls. Truly so much happier you heard me ramble about this shit. I started yapping about it. Started yapping about how you shouldn't be watching this stuff, and now I'm fully immersed again. Next thing you know, I'm gonna be watching fucking Candace Owens fully join the idiots. Get sucked in. It's that easy. Just get sucked in.

[B]

Haley says there's been 32 people that have been killed by ICE, but this is the first one recorded.

[A]

Jesus Christ. Well, what are the other ones?

[B]

I have no idea. I'll look it up.

[A]

Why are we doing this? Why are we going down this path? Why are we getting political here? Josh? I don't want to do this. This isn't my realm. It's difficult to provide a single scroll down. It's difficult to provide a single scroll to the top. I'm sorry, Josh. It's difficult to provide a single exact number for the total people killed by ICE due to varying reports, reporting methods, definitions of killed by ICE records track deaths in two main categories. Deaths in ICE custody and deaths resulting from use of force incidents by ICE agents. The official number of individuals who've died While in custody. 70 deaths. 70. Since January 1, ICE has reported at least 70 deaths in its custody. That was 2017. Holy shit. That was 2017. Who was president in 2017?

[B]

Trump.

[A]

202021 deaths in custody. 2025, 32, 2024. 95% of deaths in ICE detention between 2017 and 2021 could likely have been prevented with adequate medical care. During Trump's second term, federal immigration officials have shot at civilians multiple times, resulting in at least four deaths. How come we didn't hear about the other ones? ICE immigration officials have shot at people at least 16 times. I mean, this shit works, like, in a. This stuff works in societies where the guns have been taken away. But, like, how does this work in. This isn't going to work in America. The Albert is saying, okay, but how many of those people are armed themselves? Fair enough. Who knows? Mike Big Wiener is saying it's all propaganda. Look, I don't know. This isn't my lane. I don't know. It just fucking bothers the shit out of me. I mean I'm. I don't know why that, you know, that's the other thing. Like if I have to give my own hippie woo woo analysis of what's going on here. The first thing when someone gets shot that you're supposed to think is like that's bad. Like that's the number one thought. Maybe this is like some basic bitch shit here. But the first thing you should think is that's a, that's a human with a family and they're dead now. Like a violent fucking horrible, probably painful death just happened to them. And that's a tragedy. And like the messaging from leadership is supposed to be like, this is horrible. You know, that's where we seem to have gotten off track here is like the direction has always been let's see if we can stop murdering people. It's an ongoing habit that humanity seems to have a difficult time breaking the habit of killing people. That human life is this precious thing and that we're smart enough and adept enough and skilled enough and equipped enough and advanced enough that we don't do that anymore. You just stop doing that when it happens. It's the most appalling thing ever. And I'm not saying that like, you know, it doesn't go both ways. That's the shitty situation. It's like you're dealing with layer upon layer upon layer upon layer of insane societal issues all converging at this one point. Questions like Age of Aquarius level questions are emerging right now, which is, we all understand at this point that we share a planet. Like everybody knows that. But the ramifications of that knowledge are still rippling through the zeitgeist. Because we didn't know that for the longest time. We didn't fucking know the Earth was round. No offense to the flat earthers. It's round. It's a ball. We didn't know that. We thought it was some flat fucking thing. But now we're hyper connected. Whether we like it or not. Right now it doesn't seem like a good thing. Super connected. We've got a global economy that shit. Someone decides in some other country directly impacts all of us. Little, little things can like ripple across the whole planet. Russia decides to invade Ukraine this creates all kinds of fucking problems that we're all experiencing. This one thing leads to another thing, do another thing, do another thing. And then that's what happens, the more connected you get. And so we're supposed to act like this isn't the case. But we all know it's real. We all know we're on a planet. And then when the planet gets divided up into countries, those countries get divided up. You know how it goes. And then we start having to, like, reckon with, like, borders. And we have to reckon with, like, how we're supposed to conduct ourselves. And so you have, like, already, like, all the. All the words that woke ruined. Inclusivity, acceptance, compassion. All those words got turned into bludgeons. It's hard to even say those words anymore. But a word that got ruined by conspiracy theorists is a one world government. That's scary, right? Like, it's a terrifying thing. The one world government they're talking about is fucking scary. The one world government that they're talking about is like, a one world government being run by pirates. You know, that is terrifying. This is something that Buckminster Fuller used to talk about. You know, the whole of, like, modern civilization is the result of piracy. It's the result of people who figured out how to make boats that could get to other countries. And they had steel and guns, and they would invade, enslaved, pillage. These are pirates. Pirate culture. And then that pirate culture turned into maritime law. Maritime law turned into what we think of as, like, democracy. Pirate ships were democratic, but they were also fucking pirates. They would pillage, steal. And so what appears to be happening, if you look at it from the perspective of we are entering into the Age of Aquarius, is that all of these old pirate mechanisms are, like, recognizing that it doesn't work, Bugminster Fuller would say, like, either. We recognize we're all living on the same planet. This is a spaceship that we're all living on. We're all crew members on a spaceship literally moving through space. A perfect spaceship grows food for us. It creates shelter for us, gives us an atmosphere. We're following the sun through the galaxy. Sun moves. Pull up a video of the planets moving through space. It's fucking cool. How fucking nuts is that? We're like little baby stars flying around the sun, and it feeds us. We're like a fleet of ships moving through the solar system or moving through the galaxy. That's our whole solar system movie. And so Buckminster Fuller is. He thought that, like, it's obvious we're on a spaceship, a mothership. And this fucking thing can't keep working if we're trying to run it like we're not on a ship together. It just won't work. And so all the mechanisms that did work in a previous modality, they're not going to work. They just don't work anymore. We have all the. Technologically, what's happening is we're becoming increasingly connected. I mean like the Tower of Babel, that great story, everybody could speak the same language. And that's happening now with AI, you can instantly translate any language. It wasn't like that. Most people couldn't fucking read, much less speak other languages. Now you could just go anywhere, speak the same language. And so we still are dealing with all these remnants of pre technological civilization, male dominator culture, to quote Terence Paquetta. And fuck, it's really scary because it's like we now are supposed to be acting like we're still not deeply connected to the whole planet. That's where you run into the problem. You run into these problems of like, culture, borders. It's not just the problem of borders, it's the problem of like, of ideology. Because it's like you could look at ideology itself as its own sort of walled bordered state of mind. This is the way to live. This is it. If you want in, you've got to accept this is the right way to be. Put women in beekeeper fucking outfits, whatever your particular thing is. And that doesn't work either. And the moment you start saying things like that, people are like, are you the devil? That's what the Antichrist wants us to believe. The devil wants us to believe that our way is not the way, when we know our way is the way. But you have all these different people doing the exact same thing with their own ways. And then you start mixing them together. Cultures that don't work. The open border thing makes sense based on like understanding we're all on the same planet together. But for that to work, everyone's got to drop their ideologies at the fucking border. That's the problem. How do you make those two things work? How do you have like a hyper permissive culture and within it you have cultures who like are fundamentalists and also missionary. How can you make those things work? It doesn't work. So it's like damned if you do, damned if you don't. The fuck are you supposed to do? What are you gonna do? Mind wipe everybody? Maybe that's the best thing that could happen. A big solar flare gives everyone amnesia. Maybe that's the answer we have to come up with a way to wipe everyone's memory completely. Erase everything. Erase the chalkboard of memory and culture. Start fresh. Who knows? We'd probably do the same thing. But now we've got fucking an insane level of violence all over the planet. And also the shit the government's saying right now. It seems to be leaning back into the old days of piracy. That's what's really weird about it is it's like instead of moving in the other direction, we're like, no, we're going back. It's called a regression. It happens, by the way, when things are growing up, they regress. You know, like sleep regression happens. This episode has been brought to you by Square. You know, I gotta tell you, man, as somebody who constantly loses their wallet, their cards, there is something that just feels like. I don't know, I feel so relieved when I go into a place and see that they use Square because that means that I can use my phone to pay for stuff. And oh, my God, it's the weirdest thing for an old old like me to get used to this new technology. When I was coming up, we didn't have technology to scan credit cards. You put your card in some weird roller thing and made a bizarre noise. And they didn't print the card on shitty paper that no doubt had toxic chemicals on it that you'd have to sign Square. This is Star Trek level technology. It just works. It's simple. And I love it when I go to a place where I don't have to worry about having my stupid plastic rectangles. But it also will take credit card payments as well. Square is the platform behind the scenes of so many businesses you already love. Whether someone selling smoothies, cutting her hair, fixing bikes, or running a boutique, Square gives them one connected system to take payments, manage inventory on payroll, send invoices, and track it all from one place. If you're starting a business or running one, that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off square [e-mail] go. That's s q u-a r e.com g o. Duncan, run your business smarter with Square. Get started. It happens to kids. You know, when you're. Any parents out there, you know what I'm talking about. You finally got them to sleep through the night, and then all of a sudden, out of the blue, they can't do it anymore. It's a regression. And if you look at, like, what's happening right now is A regression. It's like some kind of growth spurt is always about to happen. By the way, when there's a regression, it's immediately followed by, like, the neurons connect. But right now, it appears the planet is regressing. We're going back. We're gonna start taking over. Shit. It's really weird. I have no idea what the solution to the problem is, but it's definitely not ideology. That's the saddest thing. This leads me to a point I wanted to make. And for the communists out there, feel free to shoot me down. I'm sure you'd be happy to go ahead and put me up against the wall, but there's a common conversation that is happening these days. And the conversation is something along the lines of, you guys recognize, like, communism is infiltrated every level of society. The communists have gotten into the schools. That communist indoctrination is happening to your children the moment they get into college. Communism is working its way into everything. It's in the corporations, it's in the government. We are leading towards a communist dystopia. It's easy to believe that. But the other day I had an epiphany. I think communism has been infiltrated. That's what's actually happened. Communism itself has been infiltrated by. I don't know what probably the communists would call the bourgeois. That communism itself has gotten invaded and colonized by people who don't really want communism to happen. That it's been taken over, it's been declawed, nerfed. It's been just completely, like, maybe, like, it'll never come back from this. Because, like, when you see some of the people promoting communism, they don't seem like communists. They don't seem like they even know what they're talking about. That they want the structure of things as they are to maintain. Even though they might say they're fighting back and they're doing actions, you get this sense of, like, you don't want any of this shit to actually go away. You just want to be comfortable. And this is some way for you to, like, get some sense of, like, meaning in your life, some sense of comfort. But there's. What I'm saying is, like, a lot of times you'll see people saying, you know, we need to have a day of mourning. But it's like you're not seeing sad. How can you mourn if you're not sad? You don't feel anything. You're not upset at all. The general sort of like fire that has to be lit under people's asses. If you really want an authentic change, it's not there. And anytime it is there, it immediately gets sucked up by culture and warped until it's safe. Meaning there's no way to, like, use the old forms anymore to get to whatever the fuck Buckminster Fuller was talking about. Forgive me, you guys. I'm really sorry. For those of you who are fresh to this, I actively avoid getting political, but kids are with their grandparents and I. I've been drinking vodka. I'm sorry.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

The problem is, you know, when I was in liberal arts school where, like, for sure, like, there's, like, there were communists there, some of the teachers were communists, and they were fucking, like, real communists. And, you know, they would give the history of communism, not in a dark way, you know, like you. Most of us, like in the west, when you're taught about communism, the first thing you hear is, it doesn't work. And generally, like, the collapse of the Soviet Union is one great example of that. But I had this professor who, like, was really good at articulating what that was like, like, to. Before it collapsed, like the dream. And, like, he didn't put lipstick on the fish or anything like that. It was really hard. But they were like. There was something incredibly noble in what they were trying to do, and they were working their fucking asses off and, like, experiencing what it's like to work not for money, which most of us, you know, don't have enough of an experience with. Like, usually if, like, you tell someone you need to go work, it's. There's a sense of anxiety that springs up inside of you. No, but, like, you don't want to do that. That's. You know, that's one of the big accusations right now. Against one. I don't. What gener. What generation? Generation are people mad at Gen Z?

[B]

Yeah. Now it was millennials and now Gen Z. Gen Z.

[A]

The general accusation against Gen Z is like, they don't want to work. And the. Which I think is a fair crit. It is a. That's true. That's true.

[B]

It's less of I don't want to work and more like money isn't real.

[A]

Yeah, right. That's the Age of Aquarius stuff. But also it's like, yeah, of course you don't want to work for somebody else. That's. Nobody does. That sucks. You don't want to go to some fucking cubicle and some dude fucking stinky cologne on, tells you shit you have to do. And then you get this shitty paycheck with taxes taken out of it, and your whole life feels meaningless. That's what you don't want. But from like, the perspective of what this professor was teaching is like. But that's not work. That's different than actual work. We might not even know what work is. A lot of people like actual work where you're working with a group of people with a shared interest. And you're not doing it to get a rectangle that you've put in an atm. You're doing it to actively help people around you and to build things for people. And you're not even thinking about where you're going to get out of it because you're taken care of. It's just you're part of a. A group that takes care of each other. Most people have no idea what that feels like. It's hard to get the experience. You have kids, you'll get a little taste of it. But you also know that the work that you're doing around the house, cooking for them, all the things that you're doing, you have to keep getting the rectangle to put in the fucking machine to keep the food coming. The idea of work itself has been corrupted by transactionalism. The problem and getting to the point where people are able to give up the rectangle that you put in the machine. How do you even start? There's no way to even get there. No one knows. It's like trying to learn to read before language exists. We know it's probably some kind of synthetic, insane imposition on humanity itself. Transactionalism, it doesn't really make sense. It doesn't work in the family unit at all. And the moment that transactionalism gets into a family, things are weird. Like when parents start charging their kids rent and shit. That's weird. When parents become landlords, it's weird. I get it. Your kid's a stoner sitting there jerking off you, porn every day playing Call of Duty. But just to get to the place requires a blank slate. Like, we don't even know how to do it. You could criticize capitalism all you want, but the problem is, dude, I don't know, man. Even if you hardcore communists out there, I don't know what your fucking plan is. We're talking about deep, high level, hardcore conditioning. We all want that rectangle to put in the technological vagina spray numbers into our bank accounts. Getting people off, that is tough. Especially when people are just even mildly comfortable. That's all. It's just hard. It's hard for Me to take someone professing to be a communist seriously when it appears that they've paid to have their eyebrows waxed. You know what I mean? I'm sorry, I can't. The leadership's fucked. You guys got infiltrated, man. I think you got infiltrated. I'm not a communist. I don't know what I am.

[B]

How close is Animal Farm to actual communism? Because that's the only thing I ever remember.

[A]

Haven't read it in a long time.

[B]

It's the only thing I ever remember from learning about communism was Animal Farm.

[A]

Mars at Pandria is saying something quite brilliant. Work with meaning, work with intention. It changes everything. Is my handle any good? Says, set up your own Etsy bikini shop. He's quoting Karl Marx. That was Karl Marx's. That's what he said on his deathbed. Set up an Etsy bikini shop. Ian Murdoch is saying, people are in the center of their own universe. They cannot care for you like themselves. You can never become the center of your universe. Look, everyone's talking about, like, economic crashes, and that's not going to be the thing either. If anything, an economic crash is just going to put people more into survival mode. That's not the thing. I think, number one, this is a fun thing to think about. We should all be thinking about this. Do we need to be doing things this way? Is this the way to do things? And then throw out all your Eat the Rich bumper stickers and all that bullshit? Because the whole Eat the Rich thing, it's like, that's just piracy. You're just trying to do a different version of piracy. You're trying to do Robin Hood style piracy. It's still piracy. So you have to throw out all the aggro shit. And then what emerges is a big question mark, like what hasn't been thought of yet? And that's where we should be headed. I know it's the easiest thing to say in the world. It's easy to say in my nice air conditioned podcast studio with beautiful Josh, who pulls things up for me. But. Why shouldn't we always be thinking about this stuff? You have to. They force it down your fucking throat. Turn on the tv. It's like Mom's getting their fucking faces blown off. Well, we know that sucks. Start there, and then somewhere along the way you realize, like, I gotta find my mom's old vibrator. It's gotta be somewhere. You ever think about that? Like, where's your grandmother's vibrator? Where is it? Now isn't that weird? These objects that meant so much to somebody, especially your grandmother. She loved to come, helped her fall asleep. But where do they go? Landfills.

[B]

Or they pass it down to the next generation. Or they cremate it with the person.

[A]

Within. Mustache. A taco in one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back. Nice. Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to rideshares, entertainment and more. Pick a bundle with your go tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Earn more cash when you do more with Stash. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me Stash terms. No matter the occasion, snack time should be easy. That's why Skinnypop popcorn keeps it light, airy and endlessly delicious. Skinny Pop is made from just three simple ingredients, delivering an irresistible taste without being complicated. Skinnypop's simplicity allows you to freely enjoy as much popcorn as you want. Just open the bag and enjoy. No overthinking, no tough choices. When it comes to snacking, Skinnypop just makes sense. Deliciously popped, perfectly salted Skinny Pop. Popular for a reason. All those vibrators. You can't sell them at a Goodwill, so they go. They go in landfills, I guess. Landfills. Recycled, maybe. Sad, if you think about it. You know, every vibrator tells a story. Every vibrator meant something to somebody once. Now it's just one layer of plastic in a landfill, forgotten forever. But do they dream? Do vibrators dream? Do vibrators long for love? Do they feel used? Are vibrators sentient? And can we talk to them? We'll explore this on the next dtfh. Thank you for listening. Let's take some questions, then I get out of here. This took too long. Paul, thank you again for your beautiful and wonderful donation. Mr. Niles 32 says my clockwork elves change diapers. How do you know mine don't? When you say I'm missing out, how do you know mine don't? That would be amazing. That's something. That's another thing. Where? Like the DMT realm. Like, how long before we fucking invade that? Like, if somebody figures out a way to extract oil from the TMT realm. The funniest shit ever. How long before Exxon is invading? Julian is asking, what's Julian's last name? McKay. Thanks for the big donation, Julian. McKinney. Duncan, have you ever Experienced a flow state of novelty and experiences that are negative or unfulfilling. Do you have any thoughts on shifting those phenomena to positive and fulfilling experiences? Yeah, man. I mean, like this is, by the way, if you're going to be a parent, you got to learn to do that. That's the first thing you have to learn that skill because. You know the desire for the binary you're talking about. This is a good, this is a positive experience. This is a negative experience that. Look, I have to read it. I've read it before. Fuck it, it's 216, third patriarch of Zen. I'm saying that only because, like I have a vodka buzz and it's 2:16. It's been a while. The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however. And heaven and earth are infinitely. Are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind. When the deep meaning of things is not understood. The mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail. The way is perfect, like vast space where nothing is lacking and nothing in excess. Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject that we do not see the true nature of things. So the question that you're asking is a kind of like alchemical transmutation of experience. The idea is this is bad experience. I will turn it into good experience. But the third patriarch of Zen is saying it's just experience. Don't attach any label to it at all and see what happens. This is just what's happening. There might be some anxiety, there might be some sense of aversion to the experience that you're having. But if you can just accept that those feelings are like the weather, it's cloudy outside right now. I'm not going to let that. I'm not going to tell a whole story about how I'm some piece of shit because it's cloudy. I'm not going to weave a story about how it's going to be cloudy forever because I wasn't a good son. But we do that with certain experiences and those are called. That's what Sharon Salzberg calls the add ons. You start painting this incredible mosaic based on negative experiences. And this is why in Buddhism, the first noble truth. Jack Kornfield talks about this in the episode that's coming out is there is suffering, not life is suffering. There is suffering, which is like, yeah, there's something going on here that sucks. I don't like it. But saying there is suffering, it's like saying, well, the water's a little cold right now. It doesn't mean, by the way, you should be passive and not try to heat the water up or something. But it's the moment you're able to just accept experience as it is. This is just experience and not tell a whole story about it, not try to make it better, not try to warp it or change it. This is what's happening. It's an incredible feeling. That is how I get into the flow state is you have to abandon as a parent all ideas or expectations for what your next, what your day is going to be like. Because shit goes south for sure. Like something's going to go south, something will not work, someone will fall, someone's going to get in a fight, someone's going to be upset. And then you're married, so you're dealing with like the stress of parenting in a marriage. So there's so many things where if you are constantly thinking, how do I make me happy in these moments, then you end up only being happy for the 20 minutes that you get at the end of the day when you're watching tv. And I don't want my life to be relegated to like 20 minutes of joy when everything is exactly the way I want it to be. And it seems like Xin Sin Ming, the third patriarch of Zen is saying, what happens if we stop drawing any distinction at all. It's a fascinating thing to do and really one way to do this is the next time you're really happy, look at the way you feel and you'll realize that like it's not that different from when you're like experiencing tons of suffering and pain. It's a powerful experience. You might have a sort of light heartedness to you, a sense of exhilaration, but if you look at the energetic quality, it's like weirdly similar to like getting your finger slammed in the door. It's still this powerful. You're filled with all this energy, a kind of exuberance, but it's not that much different. I don't know the comic, but like he was talking about how Taco Bell uses the same ingredients and just puts them in different forms. Forgive. It's like over 20 years ago I heard this joke, so I think it's okay to not credit this person. It was like not on a special or anything. And I don't remember the punchline but when you start recognizing that the human experience, it's basically the same ingredients getting mixed together in different forms, which is why in the vernacular now everyone people will say, I'm excited. That means happy, I guess, but it's a more accurate way to describe happiness. It's just a level of excitement, energetic level. People are addicted to that. You don't want to give up the high highs like the third patriarch of Zen is inviting you to do. You want those peaks. But something happens when you let go of that and suddenly you realize that you can find a peacefulness. I don't want to say happiness in every moment. That's the goal. So that you don't have to just like, so that you don't have to win the lottery to be happy. You know, you don't need all the phenomena to line up. And the whole point in Buddhism for not wasting time with this stuff is the impermanence of your own existence. It's like, how long are you going to work at this to get to the exact right set of variables, set up and harmonize? How long is it going to take you? A few years? Because you might not be alive that long. The human body is so fragile, just. God, the algorithm loves serving me videos of people in bar fights. And it happens all the time. And somebody punches somebody, their head hits the ground, they're dead. I'm not saying you're gonna get in a bar fight, but it's like it's uncertain if you even make it to tomorrow. So if like you're waiting for your. The stocks you've invested into increase in value over the next 15 years before you're happy. Fuck. That's a big gamble. That's a crazy gamble. So you just sort of have to stop differentiating one from the other, this from that. And then things get really interesting. This whole Differentiation game we're doing, that's what I was rambling about earlier. It leads to piracy. If I'm a you, if I'm a me and you're a you, well, if you're my friend, great. But if you're not, maybe I'm going to take your fucking oil. As above, so below, you know the things happening. This is what Carl Jung used to say, by the way. It's like when you're looking at global events, it's a projection of the shadow of all of society. And if you look at what's happening from that perspective, yeah, you could expect if we're like moving into like a hyper connected culture that is simultaneously valuing One's own personal happiness is the most important thing. Those are two contradictory things smashing into each other. You could expect chaos. Something's got to give. Either we disconnect and, like, go back to full piracy, or we let go of this hunger to be the happiest person while other people are fucked up. You gotta pick, which you can't pick for anyone but yourself. I guess all I know is, like, if I as a dad, wake up in the morning imagining that things are gonna go my way, I might as well take my remaining ball, stretch it out on a fucking cutting board and smash it as hard as I can with a mallet. Because it's not gonna go my way. It won't. And I don't mean that as a defeatist. I'm saying, like, if I can wake up and give up that fantasy, I'm fucking tired or stressed out or I don't feel funny or whatever. If I could give up that fantasy and just think, all right, how can I be the most helpful to the many people around me today? I'm not going to pull it off, by the way, but if I just think that it cuts through all that bullshit and then you move into, like, this sort of like, mode of the servant, which is seemingly antithetical to what's being promoted in popular culture right now, which certainly isn't, like, how wonderful it is to help to not think about yourself. Anyway, what a long winded, shitty rant.

[B]

This is going right here.

[A]

I'm glad you asked this. Vibrah Vira. Can Amish people use vibratorials or not? Not sure Hare Krishnas can or not. I mean, look, I'm really curious about the question itself. Are you? It's two really interesting religious sects that you're asking about that seem very different from each other. I think with the Hare Krishnas, I'm going to go. If I had to guess, I'm going to say no. Because it's a fundamentalist form of bhakti yoga that says you should only have sex to make more people. So I'm guessing vibrators are out as far as the Amish go? I have no idea. But I'm excited about the new vibrators that are coming out. Did you see the new vibrators they have from. What's it called? Ces? What's the cvs? No, not cvs. They do have vibrators of cvs. It's the tech look up new vibrator ces, I think is what it's called, called.

[B]

C. What again? What is it?

[A]

See? Ask the chat. They'll know. What's the name of the tech conference they're having right now?

[B]

Ces.

[A]

Ces. Scroll down. It's. It's like a jerk off machine. It looks pretty cool.

[B]

I'm seeing images.

[A]

No, that's not it. You're gonna have to go on YouTube. It basically, like, jerks you off, but syncs up to porn. I want to go to CES someday. Don't worry about it. You don't have to bring it up. I could describe it. It's a hand job machine, essentially. And it, like, apparently, like, you can download, like, jerk off patterns, which is pretty interesting, or upload your own, which is very weird because, like, I guess you could theoretically send your friend, like, dude, try this pattern I just learned. Just weird. Would you do that?

[B]

Yeah, when the bass drop. And it'll be like.

[A]

No, I'm saying, like, if I. If, like, we both had a jerk off machine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you could record, like, yourself jerking off. It would translate that into the machine. If I sent that to you, if, like, a friend sent that to you, you could download it into the machine. It would jerk you off in the same way that I had just jerked off. Would you do it?

[B]

No, because then I would think it's your hand doing it to me the entire time.

[A]

That's weird. Yeah, that's fucking weird. Why would you think that?

[B]

Because I have a certain amount of pressure that I like to use, and I don't know what pressure you'd like to use, so I would just feel like, well, this is different. And not in a good way.

[A]

Albert says that's gay. What are you talking about, Albert? That's, like, not gay at all. What's gay about sending the way you jerk off to your friends and they jerk off in the exact same way? You're weird, Albert. You need therapy. Why would you even think that's gay? It's so straight. Dean Williams is saying sharing jerk off algorithms is gay. Dean, you guys need therapy. You and Albert should get into couples therapy. Ian Murdoch, if I, you know, that it would be cool that I think you would. You know, it is a personal thing, though. But you got to wonder, you know, like, is it, like, repressed heterosexual male living in the year 2020? Like, jerk off patterns are a mystery. Like, it's an undiscovered. You have no idea how your friends jerk off.

[B]

Yeah, but it'd be more upset if my friend could jerk me off better than I could. And I never knew that.

[A]

I don't Know that would be upsetting. Yes, I would feel like I might get shamed because we're friends with comedians and if they see your jerk off routine, they might be like, dude, this is hard. This is terrible. But the positive side of this is there could be a whole universe of ways to masturbate as a man that you have no idea. Yeah, like you're basically, you know those undiscovered tribes that they find they fly the drone over. They. They've uncontacted tribes. That's most dudes when it comes to jerking off. You have no idea. You don't know how I jerk off. You don't know how your best. You don't have your dad jerks. You don't have your ancestors jerked off. You have no idea. It is not taught in school. Certainly not taught between father and son. We're talking about an absolute singularity. This is more mysterious than inside a black hole.

[B]

There's some things that I just don't want to know in life. I think.

[A]

Official Diadonics says, never circle jerked with your boys. No, I never did that. Bustalo Maserati says I use my feet. That's incredible. Larry Butter says it should be part of the presidential fitness test. I mean, it's a mystery. We only know Ohio Gentleman Arms says gay is only a concept. A hole is a whole. Hey, it's cool you're gay, man, but that is a. I mean, look, it's a concept in the way, like, everything's a concept. Marza Pandrea says it's easier with foreskin intact. I wouldn't know. I've wondered about that though, but that yet. This is my super awesome username. Says Trump should share a stroke pattern. It could be part of elections. Don't you want to know the way the leader of the free world masturbates? I'm saying this is something that theoretically we should all be sharing with each other. That's all. Call it what you want. Gay or straight, we should know this. How did Einstein jerk off? Wouldn't you want to know? How did Copernicus jerk off? How did Galileo jerk off? Wouldn't you want to know? There's a whole. There's a whole story there. There's a whole undiscovered country. How did T.S. eliot beat his meat while crying? I gotta go. God bless you all. Thank you so much for tuning in. May God go with you into the night. Tune in for the. I have two great interviews coming up. Leonard Picard, Jack Kornfield. Perfect timing for the weirdness that's happening in the world. I'll see you next week. Until then, Hare Krishna Every Lenovo is built to let them go. Let them work and rework. Let them animate A dinosaur. No. A toaster. No. A hamster and a jetpack. Fun. Let them put golden wings on a dog. Good boy. Let them color correct anywhere and everywhere. Let them make Powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, Lenovo gives creatives everything they need. Lenovo.com, let creatives create Lenovo. Lenovo does your child dread going to school every day? It's time to try Oregon Charter Academy. Our online school offers interactive learning in a safe, safe environment with a dynamic and responsive curriculum. Providing your student with support to thrive will bring you relief knowing you found just what your child needs. Don't wait. Enroll today@oregon charter.org and see the difference it makes for your child. Oregon Charter Academy what Learning should be Every Lenovo is built to Let them move. Let them put a chicken on a skateboard. Please. Let them scale, copy and change it up. Let them make a purple sky with raining soccer balls incoming. Let them launch their vision to the world. Let them make Powered by Intel Core Ultra processors, Lenovo gives creatives everything they need. Lenovo.com, let creatives create Lenovo Lenovo.