Podcast Summary

Podcast: Earn the Right to Live Your Dreams
Host: Dr. Coyte Cooper
Episode: The #1 Lesson From The Best Coach I Ever Had...
Date: September 16, 2021

Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Coyte Cooper reflects on the life and legacy of his most influential coach, Ron, who recently passed away. Drawing from personal experiences and stories, Dr. Cooper explores what made Ron unique—not just as a coach, but as a human being. He delves deep into the core lesson he learned from Ron: the transformative power of unconditional love and genuine care, especially in high-pressure, performance-based environments like youth athletics.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Remembering Ron’s Impact ([00:10]–[03:15])

• Dr. Cooper shares the news of his coach’s passing and describes Ron as the single most impactful mentor in his life.
• The news caused him to reflect on deeper questions about legacy and the influence one has on others.

2. The Power of Reflection and Legacy ([03:20]–[05:40])

• Dr. Cooper observes the outpouring of messages from Ron’s former athletes and parents, noting their extraordinary sincerity and gratitude.
• Distinguishes Ron from others because people don’t just say he was nice—they credit him with fundamentally changing their lives.

  "These were messages that were like, this man literally changed my life. He loved me unconditionally. He made me believe in myself." – Dr. Coyte Cooper [04:45]

3. What Made Ron Unique? Exploring the Possibilities ([05:41]–[17:25])

a. Was it His Personality? ([05:41]–[08:12])

• Ron had an infectious energy and a remarkable ability to make everyone feel important.
• He greeted everyone personally, remembered details about their lives, and imparted life lessons like gratitude.

  "Every time you saw him, he had this incredible ability to make you feel like you were the most important person that he was talking to." – Dr. Coyte Cooper [06:10]

• While critical, Dr. Cooper notes this was not the sole factor.

b. Was it His Coaching Techniques? ([08:13]–[10:50])

• Ron stood out for innovative, even quirky, training, like tying athletes’ elbows to their sides to teach technique.
• Adapted training for major events and was ahead of his time in many methods.
• However, while effective, Cooper clarifies, “it's not the thing that you hear his athletes say.”

c. Was it His Mental Approach? ([10:51]–[13:40])

• Ron encouraged athletes to have fun and enjoy competition, challenging the conventional “serious face” attitude.
• He fostered a growth mindset and made losses about learning, not shame.

  “He got you excited to compete, he got you to embrace a growth mindset and just go out and lay it on the line. And even when you fell short ... He'd put his arm around you and try to get you to see where the lesson is.” – Dr. Coyte Cooper [13:10]

d. But What Was THE Thing? ([13:41]–[15:00])

• While all those qualities mattered, they were not what people remembered most. It was something deeper—a secret sauce that underpinned all else.

4. The #1 Lesson: Unconditional Love ([15:01]–[18:52])

• Ron’s core impact was his ability to love his athletes unconditionally, in an environment where that’s rare.
• The team’s competitive excellence was paired with deep care—making everyone feel seen and valued.

  “He just loved you unconditionally. Now think about that for a second. That doesn't seem like something that's a fit in a sport like wrestling ... but yet that's what it was.” – Dr. Coyte Cooper [15:09]

5. The Power of Being Seen, Believed In, and Lifted Up ([18:53]–[23:35])

• Explains how Ron made each person feel like they mattered, focusing on what made them unique and helping them believe in their potential.

  "He saw you not only for the person that you were, but he dug in and he found all the things that were special about you and he saw you for the person that you could become." – Dr. Coyte Cooper [19:45]

• Shares a personal story of overcoming self-doubt at age 14, crediting Ron’s belief for his breakthrough.

  “He believed in me even when I wasn't sure if I believed in myself. He believed in me and he lifted me an entire level. I beat that kid, made the world team, unequivocally would have never done that without somebody who believed in me.” – Dr. Coyte Cooper [21:14]

6. The Call to Action: Carrying on Ron’s Legacy ([23:36]–[28:00])

• Dr. Cooper urges listeners—coaches, parents, anyone who impacts others—to adopt Ron’s “one step”: make love and care your primary criteria.
• Advocates for serving and uplifting others, searching for what’s good, and being a positive influence.

  “Find ways to love on people. Look for ways in your day to say, hey, how can I serve people? How can I lift people? How can I look for the best in them?”

• Suggests that, especially in current times of struggle and negativity, the world needs more people like Ron.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Death has a way of doing that. It makes us think about the way that we're living our lives. It makes us think about what's next." – Dr. Coyte Cooper [02:35]
• “He just cared deeply. But the way he looked at you, the energy, the enthusiasm, the passion. He had an incredible personality.” – Dr. Coyte Cooper [06:55]
• "All he was trying to do was pour into you. He just wanted to make your life better. It was incredible." – Dr. Coyte Cooper [19:25]
• “Make love your criteria. Make caring about people your criteria. Go in and look for the things that make them unique and point them out to them ... believe in them because people need that.” – Dr. Coyte Cooper [22:30]

Key Timestamps

• [00:10] – Dr. Cooper receives news of Ron’s passing and reflects on legacy
• [04:45] – Outpouring of genuine gratitude from former athletes
• [06:10] – Ron’s personality and the energy he brought to others
• [08:45] – Innovative, quirky coaching methods described
• [11:12] – Mindset shift: bringing fun to competition
• [13:10] – Growth mindset and learning from failure
• [15:09] – The secret sauce: unconditional love in coaching
• [19:45] – Ron’s unique approach to seeing and uplifting others
• [21:14] – The impact of belief: Dr. Cooper’s personal breakthrough
• [23:36] – One-step takeaway: love and lift others

Conclusion

This episode is both a moving tribute and a practical guide for anyone looking to make a lasting impact on others. Dr. Coyte Cooper distills decades of experience and reflection down to one powerful lesson: the true secret to influence, success, and legacy is to love people unconditionally and help them believe in their own potential. He urges listeners to adopt this approach, regardless of their roles in life, to make the world better—one act of genuine care at a time.