The FIST "5 Finger" Philosophy | Leadership Expert Ken Hubbard on How to Live with Purpose and Passion

Summary

Episode Summary:

Podcast: Earn the Right to Live Your Dreams
Episode: The FIST "5 Finger" Philosophy | Leadership Expert Ken Hubbard on How to Live with Purpose and Passion
Host: Dr. Coyte Cooper
Guest: Ken Hubbard, Lead Pastor of Radius Church
Date: July 2, 2018

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Overview

This episode dives deep into creating a purpose-driven and passionate life, led by core values. Guest Ken Hubbard shares his personal journey from a tumultuous upbringing to a life anchored by his personal “FIST” philosophy—a framework of five key values he credits with his sustained energy, resilience, and impact as a leader. Host Dr. Coyte Cooper and Hubbard reflect on habits, goal-setting, and the profound difference between living reactively versus intentionally.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Ken Hubbard’s Origin Story and Motivation

• Ken’s Difficult Upbringing:

  • Born into a broken home—young parents, instability, poverty, parental absence ([01:12]).
  • Desire to “get out of that rut” came from seeing what he did not want to replicate ([03:09]).
  • “Where you're at is not where you have to stay.” – Ken Hubbard [03:10]

• Breaking the Mold:

  • Faced discouragement from those afraid he’d “move beyond” their shared circumstances ([04:09]).
  • The drive to help others avoid his struggles became a foundational motivation.

Finding and Sustaining Passion

• Energy and Purpose Connection:
  • Ken explains that real energy springs from working within your “sweet spot”—your purpose ([05:17]).
  • “If you don't have a reason to get up out of bed in the morning, who wants to get up out of bed?” – Ken Hubbard [05:17]

The FIST “5 Finger” Philosophy

• Origins and Inspiration:

  • The FIST model evolved over two decades as Ken sought to be different than the examples he’d seen ([06:58],[07:48]).
  • Inspired by a Peanuts comic where Lucy’s organized fist protects Charlie Brown—a metaphor for living with organized values ([08:07]).

• The Five Pillars:

  1. Faith
  2. Family
  3. Fitness
  4. Finances
  5. Friends ([09:12])
  • These are the filters for every major decision—time, money, energy.
  • Career is not on his list; Ken believes fulfillment in these domains lets “everything else flow out of that” ([09:13]).

• Organizing Life by Values:

  • Ken used to physically schedule time for each value on his calendar ([09:42]).
  • “Anytime I'm going to say yes or no to something…it’s going to be towards one of these five things.” – Ken Hubbard [08:51]

Real-Life Examples: Saying No to Opportunity

• Turning Down Mel Gibson ([12:06]):
  • Ken recounts declining a private pre-release screening with Mel Gibson due to his commitment to family night.
  • “Hanging out with Mel Gibson was not one of the values in my life. So it was easy for me to decide what to do.” – Ken Hubbard [12:06]
  • His son, then 11, remembered and took inspiration from this choice, underscoring the power of value-driven decisions ([13:09]).

Aligning Goals with Values

• Natural Passion Over Arbitrary Goals:

  • Ken only sets goals around what he’s genuinely passionate about or what offers real return.
  • “When you're passionate about something, it's not a chore.” – Ken Hubbard [14:35]
  • Arbitrary goals, or those not rooted in authentic values, become a “grind” and are unlikely to succeed ([15:17], [16:09]).

• Stats on Goal Failure:

  • 97% of New Year’s resolutions are never met—because they’re not supported by real values ([15:11]).

• Habits Shape Us:

  • “Once we form a habit, then the habit forms us.” – Ken Hubbard [16:41]

Challenges in Living by the FIST Philosophy

• Difficulties:
  • Early challenge: learning to say no to attractive but misaligned opportunities ([21:47]).
  • As a leader: balancing the desire to help everyone with realistic capacity and boundaries ([23:11]).
  • Learning to delegate and trust others’ strengths—control, not ego, was his struggle ([25:31]).

Practical Leadership and Life Advice

• Ken’s Top 3 Tips: ([26:43])
  1. Determine Your Values:
     • Don’t live haphazardly; know what you’re “shooting at.”
     • “Values helps me to live my life instead of life living me.” – Ken Hubbard [27:36]
  2. Constantly Pour Into Yourself:
     • Seek coaching or mentorship in each value domain—even informally ([28:14]).
     • “Not every coach knew they were my coach.” – Ken Hubbard [28:21]
     • Regularly consume content that inspires and stretches you ([29:16]).
  3. Keep Visual Reminders:
     • Keep images of where you’ve come from/what you aspire to—for humility and focus ([29:32]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Getting Stuck:
  • “Where you're at is not where you have to stay.” – Ken Hubbard [03:10]
• On Passion & Energy:
  • “If you don't have a reason to get up out of bed in the morning, who wants to get up out of bed?” – Ken Hubbard [05:17]
• On Saying No:
  • “Family is a value. So hanging out with Mel Gibson was not one of the values in my life.” – Ken Hubbard [12:06]
  • “Mel Gibson wouldn’t remember me, but my son, it made an impact on him…” – Ken Hubbard [13:09]
• On Goals:
  • “Goals are not a grind… when you love it, it’s no problem.” – Dr. Coyte Cooper [16:09]
  • “Once we form a habit, then the habit forms us.” – Ken Hubbard [16:41]
• On Living Intentionally:
  • “We usually get out of life what we put into life. It’s really a biblical principle. We reap what we sow.” – Ken Hubbard [21:07]
• On Leadership Delegation:
  • “Control was my issue… but then I began to watch other leaders do things…and see them either end up with the same results or better.” – Ken Hubbard [25:31]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ken’s Early Life & Motivation – [01:12] to [03:55]
• Overcoming Limiting Beliefs – [04:05] to [05:02]
• Passion and Energy Sources – [05:17] to [06:38]
• FIST “5 Finger” Philosophy Explanation – [06:58] to [09:42]
• Value-Driven Decision Making (Mel Gibson Story) – [11:07] to [13:30]
• Aligning Goals with Values – [14:14] to [16:41]
• The Challenge of Saying No & Leadership Delegation – [21:47] to [26:02]
• Ken’s Top 3 Tips to Increase Quality of Life – [26:43] to [30:15]

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Final Thoughts

Ken Hubbard’s “FIST” philosophy offers a practical, memorable way to anchor your life in what truly matters. His conviction: only by living in alignment with your deepest values will you maintain the drive, focus, and joy required not just for personal achievement, but for meaningful impact on those around you. The conversation—rooted in humility, stories, and real talk—shows how a simple framework can steer both everyday choices and lifelong direction.

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Find more about Ken Hubbard and his messages at RadiusChurch TV.

Transcript

[A]

What is going on? Welcome back to the podcast. I have a special guest for you today. Ken Hubbard is the founder and lead pastor of Radius Church. He is dedicated to sharing leadership in a real and authentic way. He has a passion to help people reach their dreams and excel in life. Ken has spent his entire career leading leaders in organizations, and he and his wife Patty reside in Skagit Valley, Washington. And I'm gonna add one more piece in. He is one of the most passionate and impactful speakers and leaders I have ever been around. This dude is an absolute game changer. Let's take it to the leadership field where we're going to do some learning.

[B]

In 3, 2, 1.

[A]

Welcome to the podcast, Ken.

[B]

It's so awesome to have you as a guest. How you doing, man?

[C]

I'm doing great. I'm just really honored to be here. Love talking leadership with you.

[B]

Good man.

[D]

Yeah, man.

[B]

And we've had a chance to talk about some really cool things, and I'm excited to talk about those things. But first, I think. I think it's. It's really important for listeners to get to know you a little bit. So just. How about just tell us a little bit about maybe your. Your up upbringing, your journey, and how you've gotten to the point where you are today.

[C]

Yeah. Wow. That's kind of a loaded question. But, you know, I didn't. I guess I don't know what normal is anymore, you know, if you came from a normal family or not a normal family. I don't even know how that's defined anymore. But I grew up in a broken home, just like a lot of people do in today's world. My mom was only 15 years old when she married my dad. Neither one of them had ever finished high school, nor anybody in my whole family tree, for that matter. And so consequently, really, they shouldn't have been married. And they didn't have the tools to stay married or to have a healthy, thriving home. And anyway, they ended up in divorce. My. My mom was a barmaid and my dad was a. Was a biker. And so I just grew up in this very tumultuous kind of childhood and moving all over the country and mostly in poverty kind of areas. And I think inside of me, I just. I wanted something different. I didn't. There was just this sinking feeling in me as I was growing up that, man, is this as good as it gets? And so I just had this desire to somehow get out of that. But when it's all, you know, it's all, you know. Yeah, you know, I Didn't have nowhere to look. I didn't have any role models to look up to. And of course, this is before the day of the computers and the Internet and all that kind of stuff. So I went to a very poor high school. I lived in poor neighborhoods. And. And so it just became really. It just started with this passion to get out of that rut. And I think the driving force for me was. Was I just started at an early age having this passion to help other people not have to go through some of the challenges I did.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And that's really how it started. And which leads me to doing what I do to this day. It's just. Just helping be that voice that where you're at is not where you have to stay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I love it, man. And I've heard you. I've heard you talk about that a lot.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's pretty rewarding, right, when you get to take people from a.

[C]

It really is it. And it don't have to be where you're at, is not where you have to stay. Doesn't have to be from a bad place. Your life might not be in a bad place, but sometimes good becomes the enemy of great, as you well know. And so no matter where I'm at in life, I could be at a great place, but is it where I want to stay? Can I do better? Can I do good enough that I can pass it down to the next generation? You know, so just always striving and moving on.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I didn't have this plan, but, you know, I've heard you talk about, you know, there are places you've wanted to go, but you had people who maybe were telling you stuff that you weren't or you couldn't be.

[C]

Oh, totally.

[B]

Tell us a little bit about that and how you've overcome some of that.

[C]

Yeah, it's a great question. And, you know, when you grow up in certain, I guess, family dynamics, cultural dynamics, when you try to break out of that, there are people that are holding on to you, telling you, who do you think you are? Do you think you're better than us? Now? I think that's dominant in poverty victim mindset kind of things. So it takes a little bit of a will to just break out of that. And I just think it comes from the passion to break out of that. I just knew there was better.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so that. That's just. I. I wasn't trying to be, like, best. I wasn't trying to be arrogant. I just. I just wanted to do Better? Yeah, yeah. It just came from that internal desire.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's cool. And that. And that transitions me, you know, in terms of. You talk about passion, but one thing I know about you is you're. You're one of the most energetic people I've ever met. In terms of your energy, your passion, where does that come from, man?

[C]

I think. Pash. I don't know. That's a great question. I might need to spend a little time thinking about that. I think I'm naturally kind of an energetic kind of person, but I think when you're. When you're living life and you're in your purpose, I like to call it when you're in your sweet spot. So here's an example. You know, the guy comes home from work every day and he's exhausted from work and he sits in the recliner and he flips through television and he eats his dinner and he goes to bed and. But not on the night that he has his proverbial hobby night. Let's just say it's bowling. Well, that night he comes home and all of a sudden he has all this energy to go throw a 10 pound bowling ball down an aisle 30 times, you know, and it's because I think when you're in your purpose or in your sweet spot or doing the thing that you love, it gives you a reason to get up out of bed in the morning. If you don't have a reason to get up out of bed in the morning, who wants to get up out of bed in the morning kind of thing. So I think a lot of energy just comes from being in, again, what I call the sweet spot. Doing the thing that you love, you're doing your purpose, you're having some meaning in life.

[B]

Yeah, no, I love it, man. And I can feel that when I'm around you. It's a pretty unique thing.

[C]

Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate when people notice.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Cool.

[B]

So recently I had a chance to sit down and talk to you and you kind of were coaching me up on something that I think is really amazing, you know, in terms of keeping your priorities straight. And you talked about your fist, your five things philosophy. The audience members need to hear about this. So tell them a little bit about that and maybe how you came about that.

[C]

Wow. Yeah, I've been living that for over 20 years now, and I just kind of stumbled on it. First of all, I'll tell you what the FIST is. And really it's just your own value system. You know, everyone has to determine what do you value in life? And are those values good values or bad values? And do they provide the best return in your life? And so for me, I think it came about because I really wanted to be different than the models I had seen. And so I just. Just through a series, you know, from about the time I was 19. And I remember on my 30th birthday, sitting down, talking to somebody that complimented me for getting so much done. And I said, well, it's because I live by these values, which I'm getting.

[D]

Ready to tell you.

[C]

And then not long after that, I seen a comic strip. This back when people still read the newspaper, and there was a comic strip of Charlie Brown and he was being picked on by bullies. And Lucy came and the next frame was her fist in this big powder. Was the. The frame.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And the next frame was the bullies laying down with, you know, a little bird circling their head. And then the last frame was a picture of Charlie Brown looking at his hand and saying to his fingers, I wish you guys could get organized like that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I just think that when we. When we live life in a systematic, organized way, it brings power. So I just started calling it the fist. And it really is the five things that I. I build my world around.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I. I think we should check our goals and check our behavior and make sure they match. Because a lot of people say they value something, but then you watch their activities, and their activities don't match their values.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so anytime I'm going to say yes or no to something or spend money on something, or spend my time on something, going to be towards one of these five things. And for me, of course, everybody else has to come up with their own five, but for me, it's my faith, it's my family, it's my fitness, my finances, and my friends.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so basically, you could. You could find me any time of the day, and I'm. My activities will be working on one of those areas. And, and so my. And it. For me, if you notice, none of them have to do with any career goals or my job or my occupation, somebody else that can. But I feel like if I can keep certain things straight in my life, then everything else flows out of that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So, for example, for me, my faith, that one's number one. The other four don't have to be in that order. But for me, it's just my faith. You know, it's just my, My. My spirit, my. My spirituality, my relationship with God. I just, I work on that. And so for me, when I get up in the morning, that's the first thing I do. I work on throughout the day. I'll actually, I. Now I don't do this anymore because it's just a lifestyle and it's a habit. But I used to literally take the five things and intersperse them throughout my calendar for a week or a month and make sure I was working on those things.

[B]

I like that, man. That's cool. And yeah, and it's neat because just a minute ago we were sitting and brainstorming about a personal leadership summit you and I are going to run next year. And a big piece of that was the values. Right. And making sure there's alignment and setting those before goals.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I loved it, man. Well, I'll give you an example of one. So my first one is faith. My next one is family. So, you know, growing up without a family, my dad was absent and of course my mom worked a lot, so I didn't get to see her. And just really. So family was something I always desired. And it was out of my control as a kid. But when I became a man and got married and had my own kids, then I realized, well, now it's in my control.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I began to value it. So I'll give you an example real quick. I was part of this board. I was living in Michigan at the time, but as a part of a board down in Orlando, Florida. And I had made some trips to Orlando, but I had this rule that every Friday night was my date night with my family. My kids were young at the time, and we kind of had this family routine. And I had missed the previous Friday, which I hardly ever did. And then the next Monday, I got a phone call from the guy that led this organization that I was a part of that said, hey, we have Mel Gibson coming into town and he wants to show before it was released in theaters, the Passion of the Christ. And we have six other guys and would like you to be a part of that for some feedback. Well, I thought it would have been an incredible opportunity. I mean, hanging out, eating popcorn with a movie star, you know, kind of thing.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But I had to say no. And it wasn't even something I stressed about. I didn't have to really think about it. It was just. It did not help contribute to one of my values. And family is a value. So hanging out with Mel Gibson was not one of the values in my life. So it was easy for me to decide what to do.

[D]

Do. Yeah.

[B]

And yet, you know, the Crazy thing is that I love that story, but I think it. For most people, it is really difficult. Right. Most people are not going to say no to going with Mel Gibson. But, you know, what you're saying is, because you knew, this is. This is where I want to hang my hat. This is where I want to live my life. It became easier for you.

[C]

Yeah. Well, what's interesting about that is to hear my son, who's now 27, tell the story, because he was like, 11 at the time, and I think somewhere in there anyway, but he was like 11 at the time, and he overheard the phone call. Now I've heard him when he's speaking, tell friends and other people this story. And here's what's interesting. All these years later, Mel Gibson wouldn't remember me.

[B]

No.

[C]

But my son, it made an impact on him, and it's made the family bond stronger. And family was what I value.

[B]

And now it's cool, because I get to see it. I get to watch you with your family and see that relationship. And that's those individual moments or when you're. When you're building that family bond and showing that priority in your life.

[C]

Totally. And you did it, though. You just did it today without even realizing. Because we were talking about going on a hike together.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And you were talking about, oh, I got to bring my son with me. Would you mind? Because you want him to have those experiences. That's something you value.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

So just people just identifying. I like the five because it just. I'm simple, and it just gets too complex. And I think of the fist. You know, I'm just always trying to have the power of the fist.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

No, that's great. That's really powerful. So I want. I know people really struggle with sometimes writing down their goals, sometimes writing down their values. You call it priorities, values, kind of similar things. How did you come about those things? Did it kind of come over time? Did you intentionally think about it at one point where. How did that come into play for you?

[C]

Yeah, it was a little bit more. It was kind of organic in that I started. One of the questions I started realizing is that I was spending time automatically on the things I was passionate about.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I started evaluating. Okay. Are the things that I'm passionate about, are they good for me?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And because when you're passionate about something, it's not a chore. So, like, it really wasn't that hard for me to say no to the Mel Gibson thing. It really wasn't. I mean, because I'm more passionate about having a relationship with my wife and kids than just about anything else in the world. And so it was just the things that I was naturally passionate about, because I found that if I try to set arbitrary goals in life about things that I'm not really that passionate about or that give me a great return, then the bulls become a grind.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I recently read where 97% of people that set New Year's resolutions never meet them.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I think it's because that we don't set goals around things that we value. And the value are things that we're either one, passionate about or number two, that give us the greatest return. So today, I'm paying the dividends of the investment I made with my kids because they help us run our organization, and I just have this great relationship with them, and they're helping me go to another level. So it gave me a great return. The fact that I've stayed fit. I'm 51 years old and I've worked hard to stay fit, it gives me a great return. I have energy. I get to experience things. I get to see things that a lot of people. Well, at least kids I went to high school with that are my age don't get to. So it has a return. So it's either that I'm passionate about it, or it has a great, good return to.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, man.

[B]

You just. You said. You said a bunch of things that are crazy profound, but I had to write this one down because I'm feeling like we need to latch onto this even more. But you said goals. Goals are not a grind. And I know. I know what you mean. You do have to show up and earn things. But when you're saying when you love it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's no problem. Right. You're gonna show up because you love it and you want to pursue the thing that you're passionate about.

[C]

Sure. I love that you picked up on. I mean, it's true. It's still work. But who was it? I don't know if it was Walt Disney or somebody who said, if you find the thing that you're passionate about and do it, you'll never work a day in your life.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That whole kind of thing. Yeah, it's true. I mean, we. We work at our goals. But I think what happens is when we value something, it becomes a habit. And I heard somebody greater than me one time say something like, once we form a habit, then the habit forms us.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm just really big about if I'm Going to spend the time and energy and effort to do something. I want it to have a return or something that I'm enjoying in life.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, man, it is crazy how many people I feel like they. They pick these goals, and it's just. It's just. It's a. It is a grind. I mean, they just. They feel like they're. Man, I have to. I have to do this. You know, goals aren't about having to do something. They're getting to do something.

[C]

You know, it changes the dynamic, and then you'll start meeting the goals.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I had a friend that was a big financial guy, and he was trying to convince this guy he was meeting with to set these financial goals. Well, the guy didn't value finances the way my friend did, and so it was just a grind for him. He hated it. He gave out on the process because that was not a value in his life. So you have to really take an honest look at yourself. What makes me tick? What am I talented at?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

What opportunities are there? There's some questions that you go through, but some of it is just, I think history shows us. Like, for example, one of the reasons that family is mine is because of my history. If I wouldn't have the tough childhood I did, maybe I wouldn't have the passion to keep my family close as I do.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And, you know, I moved around a lot in the country, so I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. And so now in life, man, friends and relationship are paramount to me.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I think you have to look backwards a little bit. I say it this way, not take too much time on this. I think sometimes you got to get out a shovel and dig into yourself to find out who am I really about, what makes me tick. What? You know, when you set a goal and you get a sinking feeling in your stomach like, oh, this is to going. Gonna suck.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, you need to reevaluate that goal.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And it really is tricky, you know, because I feel like all our lives we're primed in certain ways to believe certain things, to pursue certain things. You should go for money. You should go for the. These prominent jobs. Everybody should be. Try to become professional athletes.

[D]

So. Yeah. Yeah, I think.

[B]

I think you're right. I think you've got to spend some time to really dig down and find out who you want to be and not worry about, you know, what, a lot of times what other people are going to think about that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, and the other thing, too, I Don't want to mislead listeners, because it's not. And you said it a minute ago, it's not that the goal doesn't have some work to it. So let's just say, you know, somebody comes to me and says, hey, my goal is to lose 30 pounds. I want to get well. Is the goal really to lose 30 pounds? Is that what you're really valuing? Or are you valuing a healthy lifestyle, Longevity, fun with your grandkids or your kids? And so it's really. It's not so much that you're. You change the. The goals so much, is you have to. First, I think you have to set goals out of what your values are in life. And so, you know, losing 20 pounds might be great, but what is the deeper value to that? And that's what keeps you motivated.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You know, and you talked about how you're obviously, your exercise, it's locked in, but if you had to battle, if you just say. You say you got off track, which you never will, but if you had to fight back, it's going back to your values and saying, man, I want to be around for my family for a long time. I think that's what people miss. They miss the part where it's connected to something that's so deep to them.

[D]

So.

[B]

But that's. I mean, that's a piece of. I think a lot of things you're doing is. Is. Is creating change from that place.

[C]

Yeah. No, that's so good, Coit. I love that. I love how you always connect dots like that, but. Yeah, like, I envision one day, I want to be Grandpa, and I want to take my grandkids hiking up Mount Baker somewhere.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[C]

Well, you know, who I will be tomorrow is determined by what I'm doing today.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, to just keep that up.

[B]

We got a good setup, too, Right. Because next Wednesday, we're taking Carter hiking, and by the time your grandkids are getting older, maybe he'll be a guide and he'll be the. He'll be the one taking them up. So we're. We're good to go.

[C]

I think that's so good, man. I love it. I'll remember that.

[B]

Yeah, but it's.

[C]

It's. It's really. What you just said is so true. We usually get out of life what we put into life. Yeah, it's. It's. It's really a biblical principle. We reap what we sow.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, and so, yeah, I think I heard. I think it was Muhammad Ali that one time said, you don't become a champion in the ring. You become a champion in all the things you do before the bell rings.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I love that. Good stuff, man. So let me ask you this. What would. You've talked about this a little bit. What are the biggest challenges you face in this process? Your fist staying authentic? Like, what's the biggest challenge on a daily and weekly basis, and how do you overcome it?

[C]

Some of my biggest challenges earlier on was saying no to things that could have been really fun.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, that could have been. And I think there's always the exception here and there, you know, that, you know, I might cancel a family night because some great event.

[B]

Yeah, no, no.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But overriding that's still one of the challenges, is when you know your values, you know where to spend your money, you know what to say yes to, what to say no to, what, all those kind of things so you don't have to reinvent the wheel. But the challenge is when you really have a passion to help people move farther along is drawing lines. So in my world, because I'm a pastor, I really. And it's not just from being a pastor, you know, doing leadership stuff, I have this desire to help people move on down life's journey, help them get closer to meaning in life and all those kind of things. So for me, I can't do it for everybody. So the biggest challenge for me is I can't always be the primary caregiver. I've had to develop systems and programs, processes, where I really become more of a primary care provider.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I have other leaders and other people that can help and. And facilitate. So that. That's the biggest challenge for me, because I think when you start off with a challenge to help people, you think that means you have to say yes to everybody.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But just discerning who's. Who really wants help and who's really putting in the effort, you know, because as tough as this sounds, I can't put effort into somebody that wants it less than I want it for them.

[D]

Sure, sure.

[B]

No good stuff. And one thing you just touched on a second ago is the ability to maybe get other people, you know, maybe on board with the vision. I'm taking it and kind of move it in that context, but elevating people, giving them the ability to lead. And I think a lot of leaders struggle with that. You know, being able to be in a leadership position and delegate and give up some of that power, if you want to call it that that's what you call it, a business standpoint. But was that. Was that always easy for you or was it a challenge?

[C]

It's both. It's a real paradox for me. It's easy in a lot of ways and it's difficult in a lot of ways. The part that it's difficult is that I'm extremely passionate about the way things get done.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

The process, the making sure people understand the why behind it. So I'm very into an order because I believe order determines outcome in life. So on that hand, I'm very protective of how people represent the organization or represent me. But on the other hand, it's really easy for me to delegate because. And I say this in all genuineness is that I'm kind of a one trick show, you know, I'm a one trick pony. I don't have, like a lot of talents. I'm good at one, maybe two things. And so I recognize my insufficiencies. And so I'm always trying to let other people shine where they are, are strong.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So for me, that's easy because then it makes the whole. Better.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, such a powerful leadership trait. But with that, though, did you always do that or was it hard for you to give up things? And did ego ever get in the way of that? Or does it. Has it always been okay for you?

[C]

Honestly, ego wasn't really my issue. Control was my issue. Ego wasn't my issue because I never really. I never viewed myself as all that okay. But control, you know, trying to control every little thing. And then I began to watch other leaders do things and think to myself, I wouldn't have done it that way, but see them either end up with the same results or better.

[B]

Or better.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And it was like a learning curve. And I think that's where it is. Iron sharpening iron.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's why friends become one of my values, because there's so much I learned from other people and how they go about different goals or, you know, objectives and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, no, excellent, man. We got a little bit off the. The questions that I had, but I felt like we needed to.

[C]

I'm just following your lead.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[D]

I'll keep going.

[B]

So we're getting down towards the end of this thing. But you're a big leadership guy. I've had a chance to listen to you talk about that on a weekly message or weekly basis with your messages and service, but if you could just narrow it down. I know this is gonna be hard, but if you could narrow it down to three tips just to help people increase the quality of their lives. What would they be and why?

[C]

Well, I would go back to what we started talking about is determining what your values are. Yeah, I really think that's. I think that's the key. If I could go back to Charlie Brown for a minute. Charlie Brown, another one of the little comic strips. Of course, people are gonna now realize that all my leadership depth comes from cartoons or comic strips. But I remember one particularly where Charlie Brown was shooting arrows into a fence, and then Linus would go with a bucket of paint and draw the bullseye around the arrow. And I just think that too many people live life haphazardly. I think that we don't even know what we're shooting at, but we're spending our money on it, our time on it, or worrying about it, whatever. And so I just really think values helps me to live my life instead of life living me.

[B]

I love that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I would say that's number one. Help. Remind me where I'm speaking of. Keeping me on point.

[B]

Just the three things that leadership type pieces that people can increase the quality of their lives. So you just crushed it on number one. Okay, we'll segment, we'll go to two, and then we'll regroup and go to three.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Number two would be. I just think you have to constantly be pouring into your life. I really believe in being coached up. And so, like on my five that I gave my faith, my family, my finance, my fitness, and my friends. When I first started living that way, I got a coach in every one of those areas.

[D]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And sometimes here's what will blow people's minds is not every coach knew they were my coach.

[B]

Ah, I got you.

[C]

And so there were some people that I would sit down and poignantly talk about finances with or with faith with. But there was other guys. I remember there was a guy in my church, his name was Mike. He had seven daughters. And I watched the relationship that he had, and I began to watch him over the next three years like a hawk. And every time I could be around his family, I would. He didn't know it, but was he coaching and mentoring me?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'd ask them questions here and there. In. In other areas of life, I've made appointments with people. I said, I'll pay you $100 for 20 minutes of your time. And I sit down and all I do is ask questions.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And so I think being poured into. In today's world, it's easy. You got podcasts, you got books, you got audiobooks. You got. And so I start off every single day of my life by reading something that stimulation me spiritually and intellectually.

[D]

Yeah. Love it.

[C]

And so that would be the. So the first one is values. The second one is pouring into. And I would say for me, the third. I'm a very visual guy. The third thing is I keep pictures in front of me of what I want to be and where I want to go.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Or where I've come from. I'll give you an example. I keep a little picture of me when I was somewhere about five years old, sitting on my desk.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And it's a little picture of me standing in a really bad neighborhood we lived in. There was a bullet hole in the window in back of me, and I'm just standing there. And for whatever reason, that picture reminds.

[D]

Me.

[C]

Why I want to do better. So that my kids don't have to or my grandkids don't have to, or can I help other people get out of that environment. And so just keeping in front of me, where I've come from and where.

[B]

I'm going, man, that's. That's so awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time. I know listeners are going to love this. I got to learn a ton out of this thing. But I think for the. For the people out there who maybe are curious, where can they learn more, see some of your messages, learn more about what you do?

[C]

Thanks so much for giving me that opportunity. Opportunity. I pastor a church called Radius Church, and our webpage is RadiusChurch TV, and there's a category of library messages there, and I hope they will help people that might take a listen to them. But, man, thanks for the opportunity. I feel like I should be asking you questions. You're the leadership guru around here, and so I'm looking forward to doing some projects with you and learning from you. And thanks for the opportunity.

[B]

Well, you don't know. I'll say one last thing. I actually did just get coached up with you, and maybe I tricked you because I just talked for 30 minutes, and I don't have a $100 bill here.

[C]

There you go, man. That's great.

[B]

Awesome. Thank you so much.

[C]

That's great.

[A]

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed it, be sure to pass it on to other people who might need to hear the message. And if you're looking for resources to take your life to an entirely different level, head on over to coitcooper.com and download for a limited time a free copy of my brand new 10 habits of high performers and Impact Makers ebook and get out and establish habits that will help you crush it in your life today and in this week.