Episode 333 – Lost Sock

Summary

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Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 333 – Lost Sock
Date: November 9, 2025

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Overview

In this raucous Sunday morning episode, comedians Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby—joined by producer Vince—deliver their signature blend of irreverent chat, quirky listener correspondence, and offbeat British observational comedy. The duo take listeners deep into Ed’s annual gig hosting the Beckenham Fireworks, lampoon modern fireworks culture, and riff on everything from metal bands to mundane celebrity sightings. As ever, they stuff the show’s three hours with surreal banter, listener stories, and running jokes—showcasing exactly what makes their Radio X stint so endearing to a growing cult following.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter & Listener Emails

• Sleepy Start: The hosts admit to being “a little bit sleepy” after a late night (00:10), which sets a relaxed, rambling tone.
• USB Life Hack: Dr. Mike Sheldon offers a USB plug-in tip: “the USB logo must be facing up when the cable is plugged in” (01:04).
  • Ed: “That is a fantastic… it’s not quite a life hack, it’s just some information, but it’s very good.” (01:25)
• Coincidence Chat: Brief foray into weird coincidences, with Matthew recounting seeing a “Michael Barrymore lookalike” in Pret after chatting about him (02:32).
• Medical Facts: Listener Lou explains the heart’s ability to beat without a brain (05:02).

2. “Poo Machine” and Child-related Tangents

• Art Installations: Matthew describes museums/art exhibits simulating “food comes out as poo,” asking listeners for details (06:10).
  • “Tell me about the poo machine, because I’ve seen two of them. One more science, one more art” (06:33)
• Toilet Chat: A typically unfiltered British chat about which loos Matthew prefers at home (07:00).

3. Celebrity Traitors & Mock Behind-the-Scenes

• No Spoilers, But…: Ed and Matthew fake a scoop that Matthew was edited out of Celebrity Traitors, riffing about arriving late on a “little bicycle,” sleeping in turrets, and masquerading as “the gardener.” (08:19)
  • Matthew: “Eventually… removed from the property [for] tutting every time a traitor said anything.” (09:00)
• Applying for Next Series: Suggesting Matthew/Crosby would pay the winner’s prize amount to be on the show (£87,500), with Ed joking about needing more ad reads (10:27).
• “I would be terrible on it, but I would love to be on it.” – Ed (09:31)

4. Recap: Beckenham Fireworks

• Big Night Out: Detailed, tongue-in-cheek recap of Ed’s annual MC gig (11:45–27:05, with clips throughout).
  • Swagger: “Biggest fireworks night in London… no more questions” – Ed (11:57)
  • Riff on low attendance: Matthew jokes it looked “like a lost child walking in an empty field” (15:33)
• Shrek Tribute Band: The “Ogre Tones”—a Shrek covers band mistakenly believed to be at Beckenham fireworks, to everyone’s amusement (14:08).
  • Ed: “I would definitely go and see the Ogre Tones. It sounds amazing.” (15:24)
• Clips & Highlights:
  • Children’s No-Bang Display:
    • Little Gerry Cinnamon and little Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds do the countdown; cute crowd participation (16:05)
    • “I will say one thing. More competent than me.” – Ed (17:37)
  • Firework Impression Contest: Kids attempt firework noises (21:50).
    • “Both awful. Really poor effort. But you know what—it’s ‘cos all the fireworks are silent.” (22:39–22:49)
• Lost Property Announcements: A sock recovered at the event is revealed to be Ed’s daughter’s, triggering the episode’s “Lost Sock” title (41:16+).

5. Ed’s Comfort Zone & Local Celebrity

• Fanbase at Fireworks? Ed gently mocks his own local “fanbase” at the fireworks, with running jokes about lost Monzo cards (23:43).
• Radio/Butlin’s Banter: The team visualises Ed moving on to in-store radio or Butlin’s compère work (20:13).
  • “I can see you as director of entertainment on one of the lower-quality cruise liners.” – Matthew (21:01)
• Ongoing Rumours: Debate over whether the Beckenham Fireworks will continue, and who started the rumor it may go private—ultimately traced back to Vince’s dad (32:34+).

6. Social Observations & More Listener Stories

• Potty Mayhem: Producer Vince is horrified at how many children are using potties in the open at the fireworks (36:38+).
  • “I kept seeing… so many people doing poos last night in that park.” – Vince (37:05)
• Erotic Fireworks Segment: The team imagine a risqué adult fireworks display, “Bangarama,” with obligatory jokes about protecting children from skyward booby displays (39:30–41:13).
• Missed Fireworks: Friends Nish Kumar and Amy Annette arrive late due to Crosby giving them the wrong time—more self-deprecating snark (42:02–44:41).

7. Film Reviews and Heavy Metal

• FrightFest Recap: Matthew recounts seeing horror movies at FrightFest: “Primate” (about a rabid monkey, complete with Rob Delaney cameo) and “Deathgasm 2: Gormageddon” (a metal band unleashes zombies) (45:37–49:49).
  • “If this monkey’s cute and then it goes mad, I’m really not gonna like that.” – Matthew (47:27)
• Metal Alarm Call: Ed’s brief dip into metal appreciation is quickly reversed after hearing “Maggot Colony – The Swallower” (28:38+).

8. New Feature: Mundane Celebrity Encounters

• Listeners Share: Brilliant run of listeners’ encounters with celebrities in everyday settings (50:50 onwards).
  • Stephen Fry using a Pringle dispenser (51:16)
  • Joe Pasquale asking to touch a beard as Todd Carty looked on (52:20+)
  • “Met Paul Daniels outside Argos in Reading”—Matt in Otting (53:52)
  • Murray Walker served tiger prawns in Waitrose (54:10)
  • Sean Bean’s “two-stool” thighs when denying his identity in a pub (63:46)
  • Keith Chegwin sets off suit security tags in a Next store (63:15)

9. What Are The Kids Doing Now?

• New Feature Proposal: What are young people up to these days? Calls for younger listeners (under 30) to report in for next week (58:07+).
  • “We could have a correspondent—get Anya Magliano every week to tell us a thing… but we need more of a survey!” – Ed (58:17)
• Running out of ‘young’ contacts: “She’s not a typical young person—she’s also weird.” (58:34)

10. Album, TV & Comedy Recommendations (BetRex Segment)

• Musical recommendations include:
  • Lemonheads’ new album
  • Holly Humberstone’s single
  • Nina Jirachi’s “I Love My Computer”
  • Aesop Rock’s new album
  • Creeper’s “Sanguvor 2: Mistress of Death”
• TV picks: Pluribook (Apple TV), Down Cemetery Road, Traitors Uncloaked

Comedy shoutouts for:

• Bemi Oladipo and Andrew Mensah
• Classic “Cannon and Ball” trumpet routine

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On fireworks:
  “Remember, remember the 8th of November. It was the fireworks night in Beckenham. The biggest fireworks night in London, I believe.” – Ed (11:47)
• On local gigs:
  “You have never seen anyone love doing a job more or anyone do a job within entertainment with so little irony.” – Matthew (18:39)
• “If there was an erotic fireworks display, Keir Starmer would probably make you give your credit card details.” – Matthew (40:29)
• On missed events:
  “You might be asking why [Nish and Amy] thought it was 7:30? Because you on the phone said 7:30.” (42:25)
• On mundane celebrity encounters:
  “Anytime you meet a celebrity, it ceases to be mundane.” – Ed (51:10)

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Timestamps for Core Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:10-02:51 | Sleepy intro, emails, USB hack, and coincidence chat | | 05:02-06:39 | Medical facts: Hearts beating, ‘poo machine’ chat | | 07:44-11:13 | Celebrity Traitors spoof, Matthew’s imagined appearance | | 11:45-27:05 | Recap of Beckenham Fireworks (wit, clips, impressions) | | 32:34-36:09 | Rumours about the future of Beckenham Fireworks | | 36:38-39:08 | Potty training and poo chat at the fireworks | | 39:30-41:13 | Imaginary adult/erotic fireworks "Bangarama" | | 41:16-45:34 | Lost property: The “lost sock” and latecomer mishaps | | 45:37-50:00 | FrightFest: "Primate" & "Deathgasm 2: Gormageddon" | | 50:50-63:33 | Mundane Celebrity Encounters listener stories | | 66:11-72:50 | BetRex: Album, TV recs, and live comedy experiences |

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Tone & Style

The episode is replete with playful British self-mockery, frequent deadpan one-liners, and affectionate ribbing between the hosts. Observations about the everyday (from port-a-potty etiquette to the fate of local firework displays) are blended with absurd musings (Shrek tribute bands, erotic fireworks), and listener stories receive the same dry wit. It’s light, silly, and eager to poke fun at itself and its audience (“we have the thickest listeners in radio”).

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Conclusion

Episode 333 is a classic Ed & Matthew broadcast—joyously meandering, stuffed with inside jokes, and deeply relatable for anyone who’s ever attended a local event, mistaken a celebrity, or found themselves inexplicably obsessed with lost and found. Firework recaps, off-the-wall competitions, and down-to-earth listener stories make it both a love letter to British weekends and proof that “mundane” is in the eye of the beholder.

Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

This is a global player original podcast. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, here we are, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby for the old podcast yo yo to you. Sorry, I'm sleepy this morning, Matthew. We're about an hour and 20 minutes into the show. We've only talked about the Beckenham fireworks so far, so that's something to look forward to.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't apologize for being sleepy. We're all a little bit sleepy today. And it's a good thing that we've got some recordings of the fireworks because they, you know, not only are they the good content. Well, content.

[Matthew Crosby]

They are content.

[Ed Gamble]

They are content. They take time, they kill time, they fill time, but they are also giving me what I would describe as euphoric recall because it was such a wonderful night. Yes, I'm back there. I'm back there. Should we read some. Should we read some emails?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, well, you can.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. I'd love to. So Dr. Mike Sheldon's got in touch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank God.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Dr. Mike. Dear crunch, Crumble and Dirty Harry starring Vint Eastwood. Happy radio, lads.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't mind if I do.

[Ed Gamble]

With respect to a recent text about the difficulty of plugging a USB cable in the correct way. Yes, please. I thought I would share the most useful piece of knowledge I've gained from 20 years in the tech industry. Assuming that the socket is horizontal, then to be fully compliant with the USB specification, the USB logo must be facing up when the cable is plugged in. Best of luck in the charts this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Week and thank you, Mike.

[Ed Gamble]

That is a fantastic. It's not quite a life hack, it's just some information, but it's very Good. Thank you, Dr. Mike. Thank you very much to Kathy Rivett for getting in touch, who, let's face it, had a breakdown over three paragraphs. But thank you very much. I read your email. Hang on.

[Matthew Crosby]

So we're not reading it out, we're just saying.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think sort of. I think halfway through she goes, ah, you don't need to read this bit out.

[Matthew Crosby]

But it's still there. Is there a gist? What topic is it on?

[Ed Gamble]

At one point I mentioned the word Farrington when her train came into Farringdon. That's how it starts.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

That's the opener. She's got a texter for. Have you been to Farrington? That's a texter idea. Have you been to Farrington? And she said this is. And then she put some stuff. That's not for the pod. Unbelievable. Anyway, thank you, Kathy. Big, big fans of yours.

[Matthew Crosby]

When you're leading with the Farringdon stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Like those little coincidence coincidences when they happen to you. You think, this is amazing. I've got it.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're very difficult.

[Ed Gamble]

They're very difficult to convey, aren't they? You know, those weird coincidences where, oh, just as someone's talking about a thing, then a thing happened. No one, unfortunately. Yeah, Nobody cares. And that's.

[Matthew Crosby]

I was chatting to someone about Michael Barrymore the other day last night in Pret. Guess who was in Pret.

[Ed Gamble]

Wait, you're the person you were talking to? No, not. It wasn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was a man who looked like Michael Barrymore.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. Because I was gonna say, how have we done an hour and 20 of the show? Have you walked past a Barrymore in the wild?

[Matthew Crosby]

He looked a bit like him.

[Ed Gamble]

Was he dressed sort of semi outrageously? Because that's the thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Running around Pratt. He was, you know. Was he filming himself tickling old people and stuff?

[Ed Gamble]

Great. All right. At the back. Love Barrymore. Fantastic.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

We did do quite a long, maybe an hour on when you thought you saw Tim Vincent, but it wasn't Tim Vincent.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. I think that might have been during. That might have been during COVID Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because was it not Tim Vincent?

[Ed Gamble]

No, I, I. No, it wasn't Tim Vincent.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I didn't listen to the end of the story.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think there would. There have been a couple of issues.

[Matthew Crosby]

Jogging, wasn't he?

[Ed Gamble]

He was jogging. Drove really slowly. Because I have seen Tim Vincent before, and my, My wife and I sort of chased him down the roads to check. It definitely was Tim Vincent, but I thought I'd seen him again the other time was that when I thought I saw you cycling into work and I thought, oh, I'll get really close to you on my bike, on my. In my car and try and knock you over. And then I was thinking, a, no, no. Even if it is someone you know, it's not a laugh to run over a cyclist. And B, it's probably not Ed, because I've never known him to ride a bike to work.

[Matthew Crosby]

I did ride a bike to work for a while.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there we go.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've ridden my bike in here.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

How often do you bike?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, no, not now. No, it was during COVID Really? Cause we were going on lots of bike rides and then I would get ride into the studio, but I didn't like arriving sweaty.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. There are showers here, but you don't want to do that either, do you? And that requires arriving a Bit early.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very few times did I actually cycle in and then cycle home again. Quite often I would cycle in and then we were just at the point where open and I'd cycle in.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get drunk and then fold up the bike and take it in a cab.

[Ed Gamble]

Hope it gets nicked. Yeah, just hope it gets nicked outside. There's nothing I can do. This is from Lou, who says hi. Crunch Crumble and Vin Spector. Norse.

[Matthew Crosby]

I like that.

[Ed Gamble]

I like that a lot.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Norse.

[Ed Gamble]

Inspector Vin Spectre.

[Matthew Crosby]

Norse.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

I like it. Yeah. Cool. Happy radio, lads.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't mind if I do.

[Ed Gamble]

Mind if I do. Regarding the question a few weeks ago of does your heart need your brain to pump and can any doctors write in. I'm not a proper medical doctor. That's the second doctor who's written in. But not a medical doctor.

[Matthew Crosby]

Dr. Mike was a doctor.

[Ed Gamble]

Dr. Mike Sheldon. He's a doctor of USB ports.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's worked in tech for 20 years.

[Ed Gamble]

You can be a tech doctor.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure. It sounds like one of those shops.

[Ed Gamble]

Like the Gig Squad or something. Yeah, yeah. I'm not a proper medical doctor, but, you know. Your heart does not need your brain to pump. If you supplied a heart that is separated from the body with blood that had the right oxygen and nutrients in it, the heart muscles will start to contract on their own. I've seen this happen in real life. All it needs then is a jolt of electricity to synchronize it, which comes from a little pacemaker area called the sinotrial nose. The brain only changes the heart rate and doesn't affect the synchronization of the muscle contraction. Cool, huh? All the best, Lou.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is cool.

[Ed Gamble]

It is cool, isn't it? Yeah, it's really cool.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't need to know that.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you.

[Matthew Crosby]

That information's gone completely out my head.

[Ed Gamble]

We used to watch videos at school of like organs doing their stuff outside of the body. Have you ever seen that? Like. Like. Like food going down a food pipe outside the body? It's absolutely wild, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you seen that? I don't know where it is, but it's like a museum or something like that. Go and put something in and it comes out as poo. Have you seen that?

[Ed Gamble]

No, but my kids would love that because that's all they. That's all they want to talk about at the moment.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So what. What is it? You.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's a couple of play. I can't remember the one I saw the other day, but there was like an art installation somewhere where you'd like wait and it would you put food in and then wait and then the poo would come out and people would be there, like, ready for the poo.

[Ed Gamble]

Would it take the same amount of time as cheering?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, that's funny. I'm very tired today, guys.

[Ed Gamble]

If anyone knows what Ed's talking about, do get in touch Sunday at radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tell me about the poo machine, because I've seen two of them. One of them's like more of a science exhibit and one of them was an art thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, tell us what, what, what, what is that about? Because I would love to go to a poo machine. Yeah, I'd absolutely love to. Well, we'll get on to.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come to my house.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll get on to. Well, I mean, I basically live in.

[Matthew Crosby]

One €8 dinner every day and my wife's got I all the different textures in our house.

[Ed Gamble]

How many loose do you have?

[Matthew Crosby]

1. 2. But we never use the top one. Really.

[Ed Gamble]

You don't have time, do you? You simply don't have time to. You think. Look, I can either. I can either run up some stairs whilst pooing myself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Or I can use the downstairs loo.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. I mean, I should use the upstairs one, really, because the seat's comfier.

[Ed Gamble]

Treat yourself, treat yourself today after because you're going for a big meal with your family.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Treat yourself when you get home, no matter how desperate you feel. Top loo, all the way up to the top, all the way up to the traitor's turrets. Use the top loo. Anyway, let's have a listen. Let's have a listen to the show. But it is [e-mail] if you want to get in touch. Enjoy the show, folks. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good morning and welcome to the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show on Radio X. As you know, we always have our fingers on the pulse of the nation and we know that the UK has only been talking about one thing the end of Celebrity Traitors. We know some people may have successfully avoided spoilers, so we'll be doing none of that here. We do, however, have an exclusive behind the scenes revelation. Did you think that it was weird that there were 19 celebrities and not a nice round 20? Well, that's because there were 20. There was another celeb in the castle who was completely edited out of the show. Our very own Matty Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

I knew it was gonna be me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Whilst everyone else arrived in the top of a range Land Rovers, Matthew turned up two hours late on A tiny little bicycle. By which time everyone had gone to the first mission because they assumed he wasn't coming. Matthew wasn't given a seat at the first round table, choosing instead to sit underneath the table, occasionally biting Joe Mahler's ankles for a laugh. Whilst not selected as a traitor, Matthew was at all of the turret meetings anyway, because this is where he chose to sleep, assuming that he could just put his sleeping bag anywhere, like it was one of those science museum sleepovers that you hear about, because nobody dared to ask why Matty was there. He made it all the way to the end of the game. Nobody voted for him because they thought he was the gardener. And he was only mentioned for murder once when Catburn suggested they kill the little bloke brushing his teeth in the corner. Eventually, before the final winner was decided, Matthew was removed from the property. He kept threatening to spoil the game by loudly tutting every time a traitor said anything and saying, well, yeah, you would say that. Hopefully the BBC will eventually release the Matthew cut, but for now, his muse, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. I would love to be on Celebrity Traitors. I would be terrible on it, but I would love to be on it for many reasons.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew, you'd be absolutely terrible on it.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd be so. I'd be so bad. I've got no kind of poker face. I go to pieces under pressure. I'm just. I would be. I would be appalling. They can't find a cloak that I wouldn't trip up in because, oh, you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wouldn'T be a traitor. No way.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I would ask to be a traitor, I think.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

In the Golden Chats, I said, please, Claudia, I want to be a traitor. Please make me be a traitor. Please.

[Matthew Crosby]

I am willing to pay. If the producers are listening, which I'm sure they are.

[Ed Gamble]

They are, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you could just text them.

[Matthew Crosby]

I am willing. I am willing to pay the amount that people win to a charity of their choice to let Matthew be on the next series of celebrity traitors.

[Ed Gamble]

£87,500.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you sure that's worth it, man?

[Ed Gamble]

Are you sure you want to chuck it that much?

[Matthew Crosby]

I'll remortgage the house.

[Ed Gamble]

A lot of ad reads. You have to do a lot of ad reads for that kind of. For that kind of cash. But, yeah, I'm happy to do it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And I will. I will match that over the course of the rest of my life. Can't do it now. I've got to move a bit of money around. I've got to talk to my financial advisor. But over the course of the rest of my life, I hope to earn £87.5k, you know, and it'll be. Feed my kids.

[Matthew Crosby]

It'd be worth it.

[Ed Gamble]

It would be worth it, wouldn't it? It would be so good. Congratulations by man on a fantastic job on Traitors Uncloaks.

[Matthew Crosby]

Look, it's the highlight of the entire television calendar is the post show of Traitors.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because the amount of people who are tuning into that are not even watching the main show.

[Ed Gamble]

I know for me, that is the main show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

There is this trait. I've never seen an episode of Traitors, but I never miss an uncloked.

[Matthew Crosby]

The amount of people are going, I better watch Traitors. So I understand what's going on on uncloaked.

[Ed Gamble]

You don't have to. You don't have to. It's better if you haven't, actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's better if you haven't. Just.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just work it out, Work it out.

[Ed Gamble]

You can work. There's a turret. Something's going on. It's very good anyway. Yeah, but well done. It was brilliant.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thanks, you too, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks very much. Well done to both of us.

[Matthew Crosby]

So, anyway, come on, let's talk about the fireworks.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the biggest night, obviously. Yesterday was the biggest night of the year. Forget about Traitors. Celebrity traitors.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was November 8th.

[Ed Gamble]

It was November 8th. Remember, remember the 8th of November. It was the fireworks night in Beckenham. The biggest fireworks night in London, I believe.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really? So.

[Ed Gamble]

Yep, that's right, the biggest. Anyway, no more questions. It was the biggest fireworks.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I saw another one of your Instagram stories. I sort of flicked through them briefly. Looked like it wasn't very well attended.

[Ed Gamble]

Again, I did one specifically for you before people showed up where I was like wandering around in the empties.

[Matthew Crosby]

Bit not look good.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Hey, it was pretty like, listen, Vin was there, I was there, he was there to report on everything.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tell me the truth, Vin.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, it was pretty busy.

[Ed Gamble]

It was really ramp as busy as that.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

That first year. That felt dangerous.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we're not allowed to talk about that first year, but it was busy.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But, yeah, it was pretty popular.

[Ed Gamble]

Listen, the first year we'd just come out of COVID every bit of it was dangerous. But this year, very safe. Completely sold out, though. And a fantastic show, both in the sky and from yours truly. Anyway, that's all we need to say. It was a huge year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Put you in the sky.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you know What?

[Matthew Crosby]

That'd be good, wouldn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

That would be good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fire you up on a little rocket.

[Ed Gamble]

Pop me on a. Pop me on a rock. Attach me to a drone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I could be the eye in the sky.

[Matthew Crosby]

That would be very fitting for you, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you think so?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because you drone on.

[Ed Gamble]

I do need to drone on this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Droning on from a drone would be good, though. Sort of like a sort of modern, updated version of Up. You've got an old man who's attached himself to a drone. Cause he's sad.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I'll tell you what would happen as you take off on the drone, your trousers would catch on a tree and your trousers and pants would come down and then you'd fly up in the sky.

[Ed Gamble]

It was an accident, guys, I assure you, it was an accident.

[Matthew Crosby]

And a crow would fly up there and peck your willy.

[Ed Gamble]

The early bird, of course. So, listen, you've recorded some sort of field recordings. We've got some clips of the night. Shall we play a bit of Biffy Claro first and then play a few clips?

[Matthew Crosby]

Biffy Clara were there.

[Ed Gamble]

Biffy Clara were there. Yeah. I. I tell you what, the. The people in the coffee shop said I was very excited this year at the Beckenham Fireworks. There's a. The Shrek. Shrek covers band. What, like a Shrek tribute covers band. The Ogre Tones are going to be playing there. And I was like. I got all excited because the organizers hadn't told me, but it turns out that was Battersea Parks Fireworks. Of course it was. It's a big. It's a bigger affair.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Ogre Tones sound great.

[Ed Gamble]

Tones sound. Wouldn't you go and see the Ochre Tones? In a heartbeat. Anyway, we'll talk about my wonderful night in God's own country, Beckenham, after this. A little love, Biffy Calero, here on.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Radio X. Oh, and also we'll hear clips like this.

[Ed Gamble]

Beckenham. Beckenham Crunch and Crumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Best is Radio X, the Beckenham fireworks night last night, which did not feature the Ogertones.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were playing at Battersea Fireworks and I've looked them up. I was intrigued by the Ogatones, a band who covered everything from the Shrek soundtracks, which.

[Ed Gamble]

You know what? That's a good idea. It's a good idea. You've got Accidentally In Love.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got Hallelujah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got, of course, a little bit of smash mouth.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're from Hampshire. It says they're from the swamps of Hampshire. And I'll be honest with You. I'm a bit disappointed by their look.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. The tricky thing is if you are in one of those, like, big Shrek suits like they wear on the south bank, you know, to have your photograph taken with the tourists, it's really hard to sort of do licks on the guitar.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hang yourself green. At least don't just wear a Shrek cap with Shrek ears on it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. That's not enough, is it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Come on, lads. You know, good promo. And I'd imagine we'll be hearing a clip of this on their Instagram at some point. Absolutely right.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. I mean, you know, I'm sold on it. I would definitely go and see the Ochre Tones. It sounds amazing. But obviously I wasn't at the Ochre Tones last night. And the Ochre Tones weren't at the Beckham Fireworks.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, they're at Battersea park. And let me tell you, that looks like a busy fireworks night. I'm on their Instagram. Boy, oh boy, that looks busy. As opposed to the odd sort of lost child walking around in an empty field that was beckoned fireworks.

[Ed Gamble]

There was one lost child and the child was relocated before I even got a chance to get on the microphone. That's the kind of type suggestion.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were reunited with their parents. You just said relocated.

[Ed Gamble]

He was disappeared before anybody had a chance to complain about it. Anyway. Yes, we've got the first clip. Tee this one up for us. What's this?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So this is from the kids display, which.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yes, before the main event, the Bang Free display. Yeah, the quieter display. Slightly shorter. Slightly quieter. No less impressive in this day and age.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's just snowflakes.

[Ed Gamble]

It is a lot of. Yes, but why? Gone mad.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Interestingly, it was. The countdown was done by Little Jerry Cinnamon.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Little Jerry Cinnamon and little Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds did the countdown this year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

It's very sweet.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

It's not. I mean, it's not funny.

[Ed Gamble]

It's just nice.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, okay. Well, let's hear it. I'm sure I'll.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Hello, welcome. Welcome to the fireworks display. You are fireworks. I can't hear you. Let's start the countdown. Six, five, four, three, two, one.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Hello, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks so much. Wow, that was absolutely electric. The kids fireworks have been set off and the correct music is playing. And little Gerry Cinnamon and little Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds did an absolutely brilliant job.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

They were the guest announcers.

[Ed Gamble]

They were the guest announcers. They were the celebrity guests. Yeah, Local celebrities themselves. Oh, I think little Jerry Cinnamon is about to run into the Fireworks. So I better go. But it's already off to a fantastic start.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So far, so good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Absolutely adorable, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Very adorable. I will say one thing. More competent than me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's the one. They nailed it. And then you sort of like, waddle in, like, what? Fireworks?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Who wants fireworks? That was all good stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Who wants fireworks? I can't hear you. It's really good stuff from little Jerry Cinnamon there.

[Matthew Crosby]

But then. But I don't understand that big intro and then. Then they set off those fireworks with no bangs.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there's still fun music and, you know, like, obviously, fireworks.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you remember when we were kids, Matthew?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

There was no such thing as bangless fireworks.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

This generation, blooming generation.

[Ed Gamble]

You would set them off from an old milk bottle that you'd be holding in your hand and the milk bottle would shatter and the bits of it would go in your eyes and you'd love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And that'd be great.

[Ed Gamble]

That was how fireworks used to be.

[Matthew Crosby]

But now, now they look at it on their phone and it's all, AI.

[Ed Gamble]

I know. Bring back real fireworks. Bosh. Say Radio X. Crops and bobbers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matty Crosby, of course, last night. Continue. What year was this? How many years have you done it now?

[Ed Gamble]

Fourth or fifth year.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've done it fourth or fifth year hosting the Beckenham fireworks. If you look at Matthew, there he is. If you look at Matthew's Instagram stories, you have never seen anyone love doing a job more or anyone do a job within entertainment with so little irony.

[Ed Gamble]

I just. Absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Genuine enthusiasm and, you know, can I.

[Ed Gamble]

Just say, it's very, very generous for you to describe it as entertainment because.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's within the world event.

[Ed Gamble]

It's within the world of entertainment.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's wrong.

[Ed Gamble]

The fireworks are entertaining. Yeah. But you know what? That's where I'm comfortable.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I know. I've.

[Ed Gamble]

I've climbed further up the ladder and I thought more.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's.

[Ed Gamble]

I get invert to go here. What I prefer to. I, you know, I stand by a van because people genuinely think, oh, it's, you know, like, before I started showing on my Instagram, people like, oh, I assume you're, you know, like, even under a roof of some kind, like, you know, like a cricket commentator or something. No, I'm stood next to a van. Not in a van, but next to a van.

[Matthew Crosby]

Big bag of sweets and a puppy.

[Ed Gamble]

Big bag, big bag. Well, it is very much like that because, of course, we'll get to this in a little bit, but there Is a competition where you can win some sweets by doing the best. The best impression of a firework.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I was told that after the security check was done at the beginning of the evening, one of the security personnel noticed as everything was finishing and we were ready to go. Oh, there's a man over there with a rucksack in the bushes.

[Ed Gamble]

That was me, yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why were you in the bushes, man?

[Ed Gamble]

Because you've got to walk through some bushes to get to the bit where I listen. Surely you've done a gig in show business before. You've got to walk through at least one bush in order to get to the train station.

[Matthew Crosby]

I just think if you didn't do this radio show, you would be perfectly at home on a radio station. Say for Boots the Chemistry or, you know, one of those co op radio, one of those in house radio stations.

[Ed Gamble]

I would absolutely love to do it. That's definitely in my future.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What a gig. What a gig. People are leaving their house to listen to your radio show. It's fantastic.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, they're just. They're just two things.

[Ed Gamble]

No, they're saying, shall we go down the shops to listen to Matthew on.

[Matthew Crosby]

The radio or doing the announcements at Butlins or something?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I wouldn't. You know what, there's a long line of great, great comedians who then started at Butlins, then went on to be great comedians. I'd go the other way. I'm good as I'm.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, yes.

[Ed Gamble]

One of the truly great comedians and I'm gonna.

[Matthew Crosby]

Or I can see you as director of entertainment on one of the lower quality cruise liners.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, you know what, the gorgeous granny competitions, that kind of. That kind of stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think they do that anymore.

[Ed Gamble]

All right, well, I tell you what, the gorgeous grandparents competition. Are we allowing that you've got a wipe.

[Matthew Crosby]

Always brand people now, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, basically, when you get to a certain age, you all look the same anyway. Hard to tell. They've all got a stache.

[Matthew Crosby]

Gender does not exist. Gender stops.

[Ed Gamble]

Gender doesn't exist when you're a baby or an old person.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have we got more clips?

[Ed Gamble]

We've got more clips. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on. What's this one, Vin?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So this is. We've had the kids display.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

And this is. This is some of the entertainment that you do mid sets.

[Matthew Crosby]

When you were in the bushes, you kept saying, when's the kids display? Display. Which doesn't.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's very nice.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

You're getting. You're getting kids to do their impressions.

[Ed Gamble]

Of fireworks yeah, it was nice. This was good fun, this. We've still got the main event, but now the firework display is starting in about 20 minutes time. Getting yourself over to the barrier, that's the best view. But as I say, every time there are no bad news, all the action is happening up in the sky. So let's do a few. Who can do the best impression of a firework? Can you make the noise of a firework, do you think? Okay, let's hear it. Really good. Really good stuff. Yeah, let's hear your firework noise. Okay, he's going back.

[Matthew Crosby]

There you go. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Awful.

[Matthew Crosby]

Both awful.

[Ed Gamble]

Really bad.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Really poor effort.

[Ed Gamble]

But you know what?

[Matthew Crosby]

Go on. Of course they don't know the sound of the fireworks because all the fireworks are silent.

[Ed Gamble]

What they've seen is the kids fireworks display. Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I couldn't find the clip of the boy who spat in your face.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't remember, let's say his name was Ben, but that was. Yeah. So I had to say thank you very much, Ben. You spat directly into my face. So whatever Ben's got, I've got. I'm very happy with that.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's good stuff. Big laugh. Was anyone listening last night? Because in previous years you've said it feels like no one's listening and it's very much Alan Partridge hosting the fair where it's fire, fire. The fair's on fire.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. No, this, I think now, this year I'm like, as the years go on, I'm starting to develop, dare I say, a fan base. I think I've got. There's definitely people who, you know, obviously the fireworks is the main event, but there are a few people who are buying the tickets to hear me announcing that someone's lost a Monzo card.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are there people?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you want to give a shout out for that now?

[Ed Gamble]

Because she's still not collecting her Monzo card. Rosie, your Monto card, I'm assuming is. Is somewhere, you know, you have to speak to the Scouts about that because.

[Matthew Crosby]

You didn't put it on a Catherine wheel at the end of the night.

[Ed Gamble]

Fire it up into the sky and it's anybody's. No, no. But yeah, Rosie, your Monzo card is still at large.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. Are there listeners to this show who come?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Yeah, yes, indeed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jem was there this year. Always good to see her. And, yeah, I'm sure some other ones were there as well. Great.

[Matthew Crosby]

Name one and that was it.

[Ed Gamble]

One that I could remember. But yeah, no, we definitely had some fans. Some fans of the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Paul says you sound like you should be working on the Waltzers in Towin in North Wales.

[Ed Gamble]

I love that gig.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

If it's not happening on the same night as the fireworks, I'll be there, mate.

[Matthew Crosby]

You want to go faster.

[Ed Gamble]

Get me. Get me involved. Well, you should also look on my talking of Wales, there is a. One of the fairground rides has a figurine on it that looks just like Ellis James and it's absolutely wild.

[Matthew Crosby]

I saw that. Made me laugh out loud.

[Ed Gamble]

So go and have a look at my. Go and have a look at my Instagram for that. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Fire in the booth. My hosting gig at the Beckenham fireworks last night, huge success. We're playing some clips of it now. Vin, what's up next? What's the next clip?

[Matthew Crosby]

We do this every year, by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but you know what? It's an event every single year and every single year is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Say that about every event every year.

[Ed Gamble]

It's true.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I suppose they are.

[Ed Gamble]

Wait, wait. Yeah, so what are you saying? That like, when, when Christmas rolls around, we just won't mention it? You've got to mention. You've got to mark these events. This is life.

[Matthew Crosby]

Play audio clips from your family Christmas.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, hang on a sec.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hang on. That's a good idea.

[Ed Gamble]

That's not a bad idea.

[Matthew Crosby]

We are in. We are in live two days after Christmas or something, aren't we?

[Ed Gamble]

We've got to do it.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got to do something because I'm not gonna be up for it.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll get a little audio recorder. Yeah, we can do that. Yeah, fantastic.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But, yeah, we've got a clip here. So the main event sort of went off without a hitch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Annoying.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

It's not really worth.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, no, it's a shame. It's a shame because in previous years. Well, the first year that little Jerry Cinnamon was supposed to do the countdown. Two years ago, they set off the fireworks before the countdown.

[Matthew Crosby]

Big tears. I'd imagine she was.

[Ed Gamble]

She was upset. But I tell you who the real big tears came from. Me. I was really upset.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, she didn't care.

[Ed Gamble]

She didn't really care at all. But. But yeah, I was really, really upset. But this year it. It all went off without a hit. Both of them did.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Here we are after the main event.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. What about that? People of Becker? Wasn't that fantastic? Another fantastic year here at the back of the fireworks. I hope you've had a good time. Have you had a good time? Give yourselves a round of APPLAUSE and remember, folks, now that fireworks night is over, it is officially Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

How was that, Matthew?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it's all over for another year, but what a fantastic year it's been. You know what the problem is? It's starting to go off without a hitch. This is the problem, right. It sort of ran like clockwork, which can only mean one thing. I have to resign.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Well, how would you respond to the rumours that are going around that next year there won't be a fireworks display?

[Ed Gamble]

Do you know what? The other day, little Jerry Cinnamon came home and said that there was an assembly in school about how there shouldn't be firework displays because it's very bad for the environment.

[Matthew Crosby]

So.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I guess it's just woke ruining our fun once again. Once again, we can't have nice things, can we? We can't have proper Binman, we can't have a firework display. And if you eat a full English these days, they put you in prison. Thanks a lot, Greta Thunberg. Two very different vibes there. The on mic and the off mic. Two very different vibes. Have you not seen that Facebook post? We bring back proper bin men. I don't know what that means.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know what that means.

[Ed Gamble]

I love our bin men. They're great.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love. What I love is like a normal fireworks sound. The end. Just like three fireworks going off and you're. That is amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm so earnest.

[Matthew Crosby]

Give yourself a round of applause. Nothing from anyone.

[Ed Gamble]

They're all on their way home. No, no, no, we just hadn't mic the crowd.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, right.

[Ed Gamble]

That was what it was.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I said that on Live at the Apollo.

[Ed Gamble]

They just didn't. Yeah, they just didn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

Forgot to mic the crowd for a moment.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. And when they cut to them and they're all looking stony faced, that was just from somebody, El. I didn't realize got something to laugh. Yeah, no, it was. I. It's funny how earnest I am. I'm really, really, really. Because that's. That's genuine.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I love.

[Ed Gamble]

I love buying, I love hosting it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I'm so cozy in my bed. Oh, so cozy and warm and moist and muddy and. Oh. Oh, what's that crawling all over me? Oh, no. Oh, I've fallen asleep in a maggot colony.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, it's quite enough of that.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is the Swallower by Maggot Colin the Swallower. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, thank you. No, no, you know what, Mr. Swallower. No, no. Is that. Is that in tribute to Nick Muhammad.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Wonderful job he did. You know what? Here's the thing about this metal alarm call, right?

[Matthew Crosby]

You love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Just when I think, just. Just when I think I'm in.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You drag me back out.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, well, that's the opposite to be in. The idea is you're out.

[Ed Gamble]

I started getting into metal, I think, yeah, this is. This is a good genre.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you been listening to? Met you taking some of my recommendations.

[Ed Gamble]

Hey, listen, I listen to metal every Sunday for 20 seconds and no, I'll get into each song and I think, yeah, this is good. But then. Then you bring along something like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You should be ashamed of yourself. And so should the maggot colonels. Radio X, Dead Boy and Soupy Ghost. The Smiths. Big Mouth strikes again on Radio X. It's Ed Gamble. It's Matthew Crosby. It is, of course, producer Vince. And I'm still reeling from the fireworks.

[Matthew Crosby]

While I remember. Yes, speaking of Big Mouth strikes again, did you see that young lad who's won the Guinness Book of World Records record for opening his mouth the widest?

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's worth looking at.

[Ed Gamble]

What can he fit in his gob?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, he's not fitting anything in it. It's just biggest gape.

[Ed Gamble]

The biggest gape. Yeah. So he just gapes in front of One of the McWhirter twins.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And they go, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And they measure it.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a big old gob.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a big goblin.

[Ed Gamble]

What a mouth. What a mouth.

[Matthew Crosby]

But it's exactly the sort of photo you think in a couple of years you are gonna regret this big time.

[Ed Gamble]

I regret that. Cause I'm the baby on the front of the Nirvana album.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, you are.

[Ed Gamble]

And I regret that now. I really do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. But it's not got any bigger.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no. If anything, you know, it shrunk from all the time I spent in the water. Scoop Daddy and Goujon Mustard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X, we were talking about the kid who just won the Guinness World Record for having the biggest open match mouth.

[Ed Gamble]

Isaac Johnson is his name. Give him a shout out. He's got an absolutely huge. God. Well worth looking him up. Yeah. Largest mouth, gape, brackets, male. That's the way he's the winner. Belongs to Isaac Johnson, USA.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Ed Gamble]

10.196 centimeters.

[Matthew Crosby]

Insane.

[Ed Gamble]

That's over four inches.

[Matthew Crosby]

It looks like AI, doesn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

It's absolutely wild. But of course, you know, if there's a great picture of him here, him here eating like three Big Macs.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, of course. Just in one it's so nice when people discover their skills early in life, isn't it? Vin's just found it.

[Ed Gamble]

He could pop a whole Pringles tube in his mouth.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good. LAUGHS wow. Well done. Of course, the other thing we've been talking about is the Beckenham fireworks.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew hosted again that night.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

A wonderful display up in the sky and you heard.

[Matthew Crosby]

You go open, shouting about the fireworks and stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Going, wow. We. Look at that.

[Ed Gamble]

Wowee. Look at that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you talk during the fireworks or do you let the fireworks do the talking?

[Ed Gamble]

Fireworks do the talk.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

There's nothing I could say that would enhance the experience. Unless, of course, someone has lost a Monzo card.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. In which case, have to say, just pause the fireworks for a second, guys, we've got a Monzo card here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, Matthew, I was just on, you know, on Reddit, I was looking at the gossip pages online.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course you were.

[Matthew Crosby]

And there's a lot of talk worldwide that this will be the last year of the Beckenham fireworks. Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

So Vin dropped this bombshell.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are they having a fallow year like Glastonbury?

[Ed Gamble]

I was. I was on a high right after this. You could hear in my voice, I was the energy, you know, obviously, I feed off the crowd, the crowd feeds off me.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a symbiotic experience. You get energy thing or you want a high from all the whiz bang fumes.

[Ed Gamble]

A little bit of that, a little bit of Haribo. But I was on a high that we can agree on. I was feeling very, very excited. And then Vin steals my thunder by saying, well, I've heard there's a rumor going around that they're not going to do it next year.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've heard there's a rumor going around it's not. Not commit committal at all.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

That's not accurate.

[Ed Gamble]

What did you say?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I've. I've heard a rumor that it's not going to be the Scouts next year.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, you said. It's a private company.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh. So the Scouts normally run it today.

[Ed Gamble]

The fifth. The fifth Beckenham Scouts. Yeah. Jed and the team at the fifth Beckham.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Great guys, by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

Really good. Jed Mendes. Really, really good guy. Lovely, lovely fellow.

[Matthew Crosby]

And this is not a national radio station anymore, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

No, it's hospital radio. Yeah. Lovely guy, lovely guy, lovely guy. Local business businessman. Yeah, he's very close to my wife, but. Yeah. So Jed. Jed runs it.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Your wife was there?

[Ed Gamble]

My wife was there indeed. She was cuddling Jed. But, yes, she told me herself. It gets Very cold. Yes, it gets very cold.

[Matthew Crosby]

Jed's warm. Jed runs hot.

[Ed Gamble]

He does. He actually runs hot.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Nice big arms.

[Ed Gamble]

Nice big arms. He's there in his vest.

[Matthew Crosby]

Be prepared.

[Ed Gamble]

So anyway, we then spoke to Jed afterwards and said, look, like. So, is it gonna, you know, is it gonna be happening next year? And he thought I was basically grubbing for a rebooking.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. Which I was.

[Ed Gamble]

And he said, yeah, of course, you know, as long as, you know, the job is always yours. We'll be back here next year. Looking forward to it. And then I said to Vincent, where's this rumor come from? And he goes, I'm trying to think of where I heard it. I think it was my dad. I think.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I think it might have been my dad.

[Ed Gamble]

So your dad started this room?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I can't remember.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I can't remember. Somebody said to me that it's going to be a private company next year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

And I mean, who am I talking to about the Beckenham fireworks?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So it's maybe my dad.

[Ed Gamble]

But why would your dad know?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Crosby, I don't know how he would know. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Was it you?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Did you say that?

[Ed Gamble]

No, it wasn't you. What is your. What is your. What does your dad do?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Well, it's none of your business.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fair enough.

[Ed Gamble]

What's his. What's his.

[Matthew Crosby]

He works for a private fireworks company.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not going out to tender, as far as we can tell.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I just don't know where. I mean, unless I dreamt it. Maybe I dreamt it.

[Ed Gamble]

What a dream.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Maybe I dreamt that. My dad told me that. Is that possible?

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course. It's sad if it's true. What will you do, Matthew, if it goes to a different company? You're gonna have to find out contact details. You're gonna have to pitch your services. You're gonna have to.

[Ed Gamble]

That's exactly it. It's very much the kind of, am I gonna go the Melon sue or the Paul Hollywood route? Am I gonna stay with the company because the company is the company, or am I gonna show my allegiance to the Scouts?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Doubts are staying there, though.

[Matthew Crosby]

Andy's just said is the texter. Who's your favorite independent firework display organizers.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, that is the texter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Andy's is Jed.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you very much. Yeah, yeah. Do get in touch. 8396 on the tech store. Of course you can WhatsApp us through the global player.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But why would my dad have said that? What does he know?

[Ed Gamble]

But crucially, why would you have said it to me when I was having such a lovely time.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Well, I just wanted to hear the.

[Ed Gamble]

Purity of the enjoyment in my voice as that was happening, to be honest.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

It's because everything. Everything went so smoothly. I wanted to cruise. Created some drama.

[Ed Gamble]

You were trying to add a little bit of conflict to the matters. Yeah, fair enough. Right, let's play some. Some Kings of Leon. I will of course, be back next year at the Beckenham final.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

We've got more clips, by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

We've got more clips.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got more clips. Of course. Thank them all, because we're only an hour and a quarter into the show and I've got nothing.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X. We have the thickest listeners in radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Somehow we are still talking about the Beckenham fireworks. I mean, I'm glad of it. Last week we talked about you getting a new passport for your child for three hours.

[Ed Gamble]

We made that run for three weeks.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

One of which I wasn't even there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. So I think this is only. This is a one weeker, isn't it? Really?

[Ed Gamble]

This is a one weeker. Yeah, yeah, definitely this is a one week.

[Matthew Crosby]

But there are more clips from the event last night. Are we gonna do those now or are we gonna take a little break?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I just want to tell you about what the first thing I saw when I got there, when I got to Beckenham Rec.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, great.

[Matthew Crosby]

Was a.

[Ed Gamble]

Was it me in the bushes?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, it was using a potty out in the open. He was with his parents. Oh, I assume his parents.

[Matthew Crosby]

The yellow firework.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But it was quite confronting. The very first thing you see is some poo. Some pooing happening. But okay, you know, a lot of kids there. Fine. And this was early.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But then I kept seeing that there was so many people doing poos last night in that park.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why is that a thing?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Why is that a thing?

[Ed Gamble]

Why is potty training a thing?

[Matthew Crosby]

Take them to the toilet. It's not training. What are you training them for? Just doing one in the outdoors.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Well, definitely some of them were too old to be doing.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I just say one thing, right, if you are little, little kids won't want to use one of those Porta Potty. Weirdly, they are more comfortable pooing with everyone watching them than pooing in the dark and then pulling a lever.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

What about me? Me in my eyes?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, just look up. Look up at the fireworks in the sky. Stop looking on the ground hoping you can catch a toddler doing a poo.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

And they kept. They Kept coming towards. Because we were standing near the.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, they were shuffling on the potty towards you.

[Ed Gamble]

That.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a good horror film. You look down and there's more and more kids just scooching towards you like a dog with worms. But they're sat on a potty.

[Ed Gamble]

Potties on wheels. Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

We were standing near the fence, near the. Near the edge of the field.

[Ed Gamble]

The barrier.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, there was actually.

[Ed Gamble]

There's a wooden. Oh, the actual. Sorry. Yes. Yes, you're right. The fence. Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

People kept coming over there to use the potties.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, the good thing about where I am is it's very private, you know, around the.

[Matthew Crosby]

You just go in your van, don't you?

[Ed Gamble]

I just go. Yeah, just go in there. Just go up the exhaust. B. It's absolutely fine. It is. I should stress, it isn't my van. I'm not really.

[Matthew Crosby]

Steve won't find that funny.

[Ed Gamble]

Steve doesn't want me anywhere. Basically. Steve is livid that I'm there. He doesn't want me near the van. He's always complaining about whatever he's got to do the next day. He's in Norwich today for Remembrance Sunday.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

That's right.

[Ed Gamble]

And, you know, he had to drive there that night. He's got a much harder gig than me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why are we talking about Steve? There's got to be a line here. We can't talk about the man who owns the van that you sit in for Beckenham fireworks. Even talking about Beckenham fireworks is too specific. You can't. You and Vin can't chat about someone you know called Steve who owns a van.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's in Norwich today. Who cares?

[Ed Gamble]

I genuinely forgot we were on air. Yeah, I'm really so. I'm so sorry. I forgot. Even though I'm talking into a microphone. I thought I was just having. Having a chat with my boring friend and being boring with him, but I'm very sorry. I apologize to. I apologize to the listeners.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

That was a. That was a mistake.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

And I also crucially apologize to Steve. And good luck in Norwich today, mate. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X. Hat.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hat.

[Ed Gamble]

It was a wonderful night. We had a wonderful time. Two shows, the kids show and the adult show. It was really. I mean, not the adult show. They weren't. They weren't making pictures of naked ladies up in the sky.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sorry. Do not do that to me. When I Got a mountain. The adult show, like Jim Davidson, pantomime.

[Ed Gamble]

Something slightly blue for the dads. Of course. Yeah. Because, you know, I I was watching some of the thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

If there was that display, then people would, like, get something out of it.

[Ed Gamble]

What, sexually? Do you think people. Do you think there are people who can catch a thrill from looking at booby fireworks? From looking at booby fireworks? Hey, listen, I. I guarantee you there are. Especially in Beckenham. Yeah, especially in Beckenham. Yeah. No, I'm sure, you know, people can.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get people like Banger Armor or something. You'd sell more tickets.

[Ed Gamble]

Banger Armor later. The only problem is, because it's in the sky, it's very hard to protect, you know, the younger viewers, the more. The more innocent viewers, because it's. So what you'd have to do is you have to project it onto the ground and you'd have to have the audience in the sky. So you get a load of perverts in a hot air balloon, up they go and then down on the ground, there is an. Absolutely. A wild erotic display in sulphur.

[Matthew Crosby]

I tell you what, if there was an erotic fireworks display, Keir Starmer would probably make you. Give you credit card details. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Too right. Make you scan. Scan your face before you went in. Listen, we're just trying to have a jostle. Kier, Come on, mate. Anyway, we're not here to talk about the erotic firework display that Ed and I will be hosting next year.

[Matthew Crosby]

I would happily.

[Ed Gamble]

I know you would.

[Matthew Crosby]

I would happily host Bangarama with you.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll talk to the 5th Beckenham Scouts, but I've got a feeling they might say no. It's not exactly on brand for them.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, well, that'll have to be a private company.

[Ed Gamble]

It'll have to be a private company. A private company and a private event as well. It's going to be very much like Eyes Wide Shut, isn't it? So there'll be a trait. There'll be a traitor's Y vibe. There'll be cloak. Certainly. Anyway, you say you've got one more clip, Vin.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

One last clip.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. One final clip. What is this clip?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So this is after the main event. We've had a big display and things were starting to wind down, but Matthew had to do some public service announcements.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So that's where we find him.

[Ed Gamble]

We have also found a pair of earbuds. So if you've lost your earmuffs. We found them by the barrier. We had them over by the red van. So if you've lost your earmuffs by the red van, then come over to the red van and we've also. I put your hand in a Sock. And actually, I recognize this sock. That is my daughter's sock. I don't know why the sock has been removed. It's not the weather removing the socks. Guys.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Matthew, I've got a surprise for you.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, look who's arrived now. We did miss the fireworks, so obviously. This is Nish Kumar and Amy Annette, friends of the show. What happened, guys? There was a regrettable temporal mishap. We thought it began at 7:30. Ah, no. So you got the last three minutes of the fireworks? Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You might be asking me why did.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it was 7:30? Because you on the phone said 7:30.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wow.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Did you manage to get a couple of minutes of them?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, don't worry, Vin. You'll hear all about it on my audio commentary on the debacle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, so Nish and Amy told me they were going to the fireworks.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And my first thought was, there's no way you're getting there on time.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because look, they are wonderful people and if you're meeting one of them separately, they're bang on time earlier.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Together, they're their own worst enemy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Does not work. No. But hearing that, and I'll be honest, I scoffed when Nish texted me and saying, we missed the fireworks. We were late. I thought, of course. Of course you did. And then the revelation.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, I gave that revelation. It was your fault.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were not in the wrong here.

[Ed Gamble]

No, they were not in the wrong. But I will say that when Amy sent me a message, the fireworks display had already started. The kids fireworks display was just about to start. I got a message from a saying, hey, it's sold out. Any chance we can get in now? I've been that person as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure.

[Ed Gamble]

I've definitely been that person in the performance. Yes, exactly. Exactly. They were like, any chance you can get us in? Of course I was able to get them in. I know how to pull strings.

[Matthew Crosby]

You say, I've been that person texting the performer just before the show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And that's how you saw yourself last night?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. The performer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else was that? That if not a performance? Actually, it wasn't even a performance.

[Matthew Crosby]

Who's lost their earmuffs? Oh, yeah, that's one of the finest.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Can we talk about that? Why were her socks off?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it was weirdly so fun.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's the most partridge thing.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

It's hugely partridge.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But by the way, two socks were handed in, one from each daughter.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Oh.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it's a lost property and then they made their way to you. No, they literally Just took.

[Ed Gamble]

They just. I think they just took them off by the barrier and just threw them on the ground. And when the security were looking for an iPhone, which someone had, they said, we found two socks. And I was like, oh, well, that's little Gerry Cinnamon and that is Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds. So. Yeah, but they were, you know, reunited with their owners and all is well. But, yeah, no, Amy got in touch with me and she said, oh, can we get in? I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. It starts at 7:30, so you'll make it in time. But go to Village Way and speak to Dave. And you know, they got in. But of course it wasn't 7:30. I thought it was 7:30. It was 7:15. They started and they're only 18 minutes long.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, missed them. Nish also references his audio commentary that he'd said that he'd record for me. Not sent it yet, so.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you know what?

[Matthew Crosby]

There's plenty of the shows three minutes after the show's finished.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, that's great because we'll be talking about the wrecking fireworks next week's show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Christopher Hodder says he's just googled it and actually says it starts at 7:15.

[Ed Gamble]

So that's right. That's right. That's what I said.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Thanks, Christopher.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks, Chris. Yeah, yeah, I got the information wrong. I told him it was 7:30. It's still starts at 7:15. Thank you. But it's. But crucially, I can stress this now, it's finished. So it doesn't matter what time it's like, Chris. It doesn't matter what time it started. It has now finished for another year, but it will be back next year and I will be back there next year. Whether or not we still have a radio show remains to be seen, but I will definitely be standing in a field. Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Coming at you live from Leicester Square. Matthew?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, indeed.

[Matthew Crosby]

And let me tell you, Leicester Square isn't where I'd normally spend an evening. But on Halloween night, you didn't, did you? I came to Leicester Square to the Odeon Lux for Fright Fest Halloween.

[Ed Gamble]

Fright Fest, Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were showing three films in a row for Frightfest Halloween on Halloween night. And then the next day was six films. I did not go to the next day.

[Ed Gamble]

You did the triple billboard.

[Matthew Crosby]

I did. Well, I did the first two. Too scared, it's too sleepy. Oh, when a film starts at half ten. Come on.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, forget about.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna fall asleep.

[Ed Gamble]

Forget about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I went to see two and it's good to be with my horror brethren.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, in the Odeon Lux, as.

[Ed Gamble]

A spooky boy, you know, you're in. You're in the world of Satan.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you get a lot of props being, you know, like. Like when I saw you at the.

[Matthew Crosby]

When I saw you, like, fake hands and stuff? Yeah, that's right.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Googly eyes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, do you get a lot of people? Because when I saw you at the Deftones Weezer gig, that was your people, right?

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, people were like, oh, my God, he's here. You know, big time. The king of this genre is here. Exactly. The king. You know, now that Ozzy's gone, the new king is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you saying I'm the king of horror?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have they given me a Horror Nation this week?

[Ed Gamble]

Have they given you a Horror Nation? Did they give you a big crown with.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. What I would say is people who are obsessed with horror are only obsessed with horror.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

And these were like the creme de la creme of horror nerds at this thing. So I don't think people were really bothered that I was there.

[Ed Gamble]

So they'd be more excited by a John Carpenter or a Wes Craven.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure. Or Robert Englund.

[Ed Gamble]

A young Freddy Krueger, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. The first film we saw was called Primate.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's about a monkey that gets rabies.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was really fun.

[Ed Gamble]

Poor monkey.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was really fun. I mean, it was. Poor monkey. I lent it over to my friend Jake just as it started saying, if this monkey's cute and then it goes mad. I'm really not gonna like that if.

[Ed Gamble]

It starts as Curious George and ends his outbreak. Oh, I can't have that.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's sort of a very good description.

[Ed Gamble]

Is that what it is? George meets out.

[Matthew Crosby]

But it is really good. It's really scary. The monkey really does go mad.

[Ed Gamble]

Because the thing is, monkeys are scary anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

They'll. You know, if a monkey attacks you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You really know about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, shout out to the first person who appears in that film, very briefly, Rob Delaney.

[Ed Gamble]

Rob Delaney's there.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't want to give away too much, but he's not in it for a lot.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

He's there for a good time, not a long time.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think that's out next year and I would recommend it. It is a whole heap of fun. Even though it's called Primate and it should be called, as we decided, Chimp Goes Bananas. Or as another friend suggested, ape S. Of course. Yeah. So that was.

[Ed Gamble]

You'd Go and see a movie called Apex. What's your word?

[Matthew Crosby]

Then the next film was Deathgasm 2 Gormageddon.

[Ed Gamble]

Excuse me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Deathgasm 2 Gormageddon.

[Ed Gamble]

Is this another metal alarm call?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because it does feel metal. It's a metal comedy horror film. Deathgasm 2 Gormageddon.

[Ed Gamble]

Gormageddon, yes. Okay. And did you see Deathgasm 1?

[Matthew Crosby]

I did, but many, many years ago. So it's New Zealand film, okay. About a heavy metal band who find a cursed piece of music and play it. And loads of zombies turn.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, fantastic.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lot of fun. Really funny.

[Ed Gamble]

That is a fun genre, isn't it? Kiss. Obviously you've got a great horror movie. The Foo Fighters made one as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Food Fighters made one.

[Matthew Crosby]

And it's very sort of early Peter Jackson splatter.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, is it bad taste?

[Matthew Crosby]

Bad taste and brain death. Brain death, yeah, those sorts of things.

[Ed Gamble]

Great.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I was outside after Primeape before Deathgasm 2 Gormageddon. This guy came up to me and he was like, oh my God. Ed Gamble, so nice to meet you. I'm a big fan. I was like, did you see Primate? He was like, no, no, no. I'm here cause I'm doing an introduction for the second film film, Deathgasm 2. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm looking forward to that. And he said, did you see the first one? I said, yeah. And he went, I was in it. I went, it was been a while, to be honest.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He plays the one armed drummer.

[Ed Gamble]

Surely you would have recognized. Does he have one arm?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no. His arm gets ripped off in the course of death.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

But yeah, a lot of fun. A lot of fun. Deathgasm2. So I'm just doing a little film review for you. Really?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You know what? We could have turned this into film. We could have played. Could have played the jingle, but we don't need to.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I didn't go the next day because I did not want to see the Turkish coffee table. Feel. Feel free to Google that.

[Ed Gamble]

The Turkish coffee table.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's. Yes, it's a Turkish remake of the film the Coffee Table, which was out last year.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I tell you what, the Turkish coffee table is one of the absolute highlights of our erotic firework display. Crobby J and the Machine, Radio X coming on. It's coming on. Keep those gorillas away from Rob Delaney. He's going to do terrible, terrible things to them. Yes, that was Gorillaz, of course, on Radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Never mind.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what? That's what happened.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, it's not what happened.

[Ed Gamble]

Robert Delaney isn't what happened.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're giving away what happened in the film.

[Ed Gamble]

At the start of Primate. I have it on good authority that Rob Delaney does something absolutely abhorrent to a monkey and is asked to leave the film. That's why the director.

[Matthew Crosby]

Leaving the film.

[Ed Gamble]

The director comes in and says, I'm so sorry, Please, we can't be having that on screen. Off you go. Off you go. He gets back in his car, he goes home. It's Ed Gammell and Matthew Crosby here on Radio Ed. And we're gonna be talking to. This is. We're gonna be revisiting an old texter here, Mundane Celebrity Encounters. If you'd like to join in the conversation, it's 83936 on the text, or you can WhatsApp us through the Global player to get in touch.

[Matthew Crosby]

The problem is, I don't know whether I'm more impressed by celebrity than these people. None of these are mundane.

[Ed Gamble]

Anytime you meet a celebrity, it ceases to be mundane. Yeah, that is very, very much the point.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But isn't the point that they're doing things that are mundane? People themselves are exciting for the actions.

[Ed Gamble]

You be the judge of this one here. See if you think this is from Cam from Sydney and slightly more London than Beckenham, he says. So Cam says, morning, you lovely bunch of lads. In a theater foyer with Stephen Fry of Celebrity Traitors fame. He put his change into a print.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think we can give him more than that, you know, big show.

[Ed Gamble]

I hadn't heard of him before.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I think he's the breakout star. Has he done other things?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. I'm surprised he didn't get voted out quite early because no one had heard of him. But, yeah, no, I'm sure he's done other stuff, but I just. I just don't know. Don't know what it is. Anyway, in a theater foyer with Stephen Fry, he put his change into the Pringle dispenser and turned the little knob. As the pot came out, he said aloud to himself, ooh, I won. And then took his Pringles and went about his day. Isn't that so funny? God bless you. Thank you, Cam.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the good story.

[Ed Gamble]

That's just a good story.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, so it's celebrities. They themselves are not mundane, but it's mundane things that are happening.

[Ed Gamble]

Stephen Fry buying some Pringles out, one of those little. I've never seen someone use one of those machines.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is Roger Ian Cardiff. Joe Pasquale once asked me if he could touch my beard as Todd Carty looked on.

[Ed Gamble]

Is this. Wait, did this happen to him or did I dream this? Because that is my perfect scenario.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, obviously love Pasquale. I love Squeaky.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I've had many, many happy interactions with Squeaky. I've worked with him a few times. He's just fantastic. I love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Huge shout out to Joe Pasquale for his appearance on Taskmaster this week.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I haven't seen it.

[Matthew Crosby]

He pops up.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course he does. You can't keep a good squeaky down.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, this. This is fantastic. This is from Tom in Middlesbrough. When I was 15, I did a Zumba class with Jet from Gladiators.

[Ed Gamble]

Again, that sounds like my dream.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, I know this may initially seem too exciting or fun for this topic, but the real mundanity comes from the fact that she was a fellow attendee. Oh, anytime I tell this story, people assume she was the instructor as she's clearly a fitness guru in her own right. But no. We followed the instructor into the Jazzercise adjacent rendition of the pop anthem Filthy Gorgeous by the Scissor Sisters as fellow students in the school of Zumba. We didn't speak as she left. As soon as the class was over, I went back to the class. She didn't keep up with the ever audible radio. And good luck in the chats this week.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, you can certainly hear it. You can certainly hear it. Thank you, Tom. This is from M. Who M, by the way, also sent us an absolutely fantastic picture. A mocked up picture. I'll stick it on my Instagram of Ed and me and the COVID for the Strokes. Is this it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. My hand, your bum.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Really, really good. Really, really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good title for the podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

My hand, your bum. Yeah, this is. This is from EM. Mundane celebrity encounters. Met Paul Daniels outside Argos in Reading. That's from Matt in Otting.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

That's all you need. That is exactly what we're after.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, sorry, I've got another one. Can I go on?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from Jim. I once served Murray Walker some tiger prawns in a pot in Waitrose in Ringwood.

[Ed Gamble]

That's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, thank you. Good Waitrose. That.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a lovely Ringwood, though. A gross sounding place.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Gross sounding place in a beautiful part of the world.

[Ed Gamble]

It's kind of one of those places. It like sounds rude, but isn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. Ringwood.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got a case of the Ringwood, definitely. Oh, I'm gonna have to take those pills again. And we're gonna have to wash the sheets.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And we're gonna have to go to a song now.

[Ed Gamble]

And we have to go to a song. This is what I have to do to my sheets when I've got Ringwood. It's Changes by David Bowen, Ed Gamble and mother Matthew Radio X. James says, I sold Dave Spiky an M s sandwich circa 2010. I can't remember what sandwich it was. And there was no other conversation. James in Devon. Thank you very much, James. That's exactly what we're after.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

Great celeb, Dave Spiky M and S sandwich. All the details are there. I've got to say, I'm imagining with Spiky, it's there. You know, if it's not. If it's not their best ever egg, it's their best ever prawn.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's got to be. It's got to be.

[Matthew Crosby]

And. And I bet he's like, oh, I've come off in the world. He's having a.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly. He's a working class lad made good. He can afford.

[Matthew Crosby]

Look at me.

[Ed Gamble]

Not even in the meal deal. It's not even in the meal deal. I don't care. I've got that Phoenix Night money.

[Matthew Crosby]

Look at me having a prawn sandwich.

[Ed Gamble]

Neil and Copenhagen, believe me, Dave from down the road. Dave from down the road's eating a prawn. Sam, if they could see me now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Peter, Peter, I've got a prawn sandwich. I'm saying this to Peter K. I know Peter K. I know Peter K.

[Ed Gamble]

I also know Justin Moorehouse.

[Matthew Crosby]

Neil in Copenhagen says, I once literally bumped into Nick Knowles in a petrol station.

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

He was reading the back of a smoothie and I was reading my receipt.

[Ed Gamble]

The things people do to avoid having a conversation. This is from. Well, we're getting mixed messages here, but it's from Louise in Epsom. My local co op in Epsom. Dane Bowers and Peter Crouch. On separate occasions, Peter Crouch bought two bottles of cheap red wine. Now, you see, that's the other way, isn't it? It's going the other way, of course. Dave Spikey buying the most expensive sandwich in the shop. Peter Crouch. That's how you hang onto your money.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's going the other way from the thing that we imagined happened in the last story.

[Ed Gamble]

No, that definitely did happen. Yeah, we know it happened, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from Mungo.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Mungo.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hi, Mungo. My mate had a stagger weekend at a big house in Aberystwyth. And on the first night, a lady came down to the patio at the back to ask us to be quiet because they were working the next day. Luckily, she spoke to me and the only other dude there who knew who she was. Sorry, I've really messed this up.

[Ed Gamble]

That's all right. And we understand.

[Matthew Crosby]

And when we asked if she was actually Tamsin Grieg. What? She stepped back and said yes. And that's Sally Phillips over there. Absolutely. Dropping Phillips in.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow.

[Matthew Crosby]

We promised to keep it down. And after a bit of Googling worked out, it was probably because they were filming with Miriam Margulies.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, my.

[Matthew Crosby]

And she told them to go and tell the boys to keep it down. It was 9pm thanks, Mungo.

[Ed Gamble]

I think 9pm is an acceptable time to say keep it down. But then I am older than Miriam Margulies.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I told my neighbours to keep it down at ten past one this morning.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, ten past one is call the police.

[Matthew Crosby]

Time they were.

[Ed Gamble]

Ten past one. Forget about. Turn it down. Ten past one is called the damn pass police.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were. They were chatting outside quite loudly on the street right below our window. No. Stuck my head through the window. Be quiet.

[Ed Gamble]

Surely you can WhatsApp each other at this hour?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, we don't have their number.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, they can WhatsApp each other.

[Matthew Crosby]

What just stood on the street. I'd say that's more scary if I looked at the window and saw that.

[Ed Gamble]

Whatsapping each other.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what young people do nowadays.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, we're just going.

[Ed Gamble]

They go to the club and they don't shout into each other's ears like we used to do when we were in the club. Yeah, no, they WhatsApp each other in the club. Did you know that? That I was told that by one of the. One of the dads at my daughter's school who went on a stag deal and went to a club with young people saying, what's up?

[Matthew Crosby]

He's driving. What's that?

[Ed Gamble]

That's what the kids do these days.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, That's a good. That is a good new feature. Matthew Crosby's what Do the Kids Do Now?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, please. Yeah, you know what? Yeah. Because for next week's show, I'm going to go out and I'm going to find out something that the kids are doing now. I'm going to speak to a young person. But don't worry, it's all going to be.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

We could have a correspondent. We could get Anya Magliano on. And every week she could Tell you a thing, that a young person.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got to start branching out. It can't be the only.

[Ed Gamble]

The only young.

[Matthew Crosby]

The only young person that Matthew knows. Yeah, but it's the only young person that Matthew knows. We need to get more of a survey than Anya because she's also weird.

[Ed Gamble]

She's. Yeah, she's not a typical young person. Although we, you know, we do chat about young music together. I was talking to her about Holly Humberstone this week. Have you? Of course you. Have you listened to this new song by Holly Humberstone? It's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Holly Humberstone sounds like a detective in a young adult novel. Yeah, she could be Holly Humberstone Investigators.

[Ed Gamble]

Holly Humberstone from Gateshead. She could be a detective. Yeah, she's very good. Anyway, but, yes, we need to find Bradley.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're not saying that, are you?

[Ed Gamble]

Are you? Are you? I've got. I've got a story to tell you off air, anyway. If you play some Mumford and Sons while we talk. While we talk freely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Talking of the young people talking to the young. Yeah. Below me.

[Ed Gamble]

This is what the kids are into.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Always with fail, crunch and crumble. Radio X. Mumford and his very beautiful sons.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lovely sons.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely, lovely sons. Bring your sons to work date. Always bring your sons to work day for Mumford. Now, I've got to add, none of them are actually his sons, are they?

[Matthew Crosby]

One of them is, but he won't say which one.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Mumford and Son.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Mumford, Mumford and Son. It's Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby here on Radio X. We're still talking about your mundane celebrity encounters and boy, oh, boy, they keep coming. I met Sean Bean in home base in Yeovil and got my picture taken with him. He was actually really shy and shopping with his wife. Thank you, Laura.

[Matthew Crosby]

Laura sent the photo. May I say, Sean Bean has a wonderful smile.

[Ed Gamble]

He's got a gorgeous smile. You don't see it very often because he's always playing gritty or dead. Or dead. Yes, that's how he's always. He's either gritty or dead. He's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Two steps.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Why.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why don't we write a new show for Sean Payne called Smiley Alive Man?

[Ed Gamble]

The Smiley Alive Man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Coming soon to Netflix.

[Matthew Crosby]

Soon to Netflix and Apple. Vicky Lam gets in contact to say, years ago, I worked in a very expensive, outdoorsy type shop and Alex from Blur came in to look around. He was eyeing up the thermals and I asked him if he needed any help. He said no and walked out.

[Ed Gamble]

Scared him Away. You scared him away. Those small shops, as soon as someone says you need any help, it puts pressure on you.

[Matthew Crosby]

You need thermals to work on the cheap cheese farm.

[Ed Gamble]

But, yeah, he's not. He's like an outdoorsy guy, isn't he? Does a lot of. He does cheese farms, he does his festival and he does his Brit pot classical, of course. Brit pop classical, which is going to be at Latitude this year. Very excited for that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tom says, I saw Judge Rinder at the range in Plymouth buying a small green Santa.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. He doesn't do things. He doesn't. He doesn't take the straight path, does he? Judge Rinder, he's. He's always green.

[Matthew Crosby]

Santa Rosa rather than the traditional red and white.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a little bit. This one comes from Asher in Chelmsford. I once sold Bobby Ball a recorded book for. I don't know what a recorded book is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Audiobook, maybe. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm guessing it's an audiobook.

[Matthew Crosby]

How do you sell an audiobook to someone in person?

[Ed Gamble]

How do you sell. Oh, well, hang on.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Whilst working in a music shop.

[Ed Gamble]

So maybe it's on a compact disc. It's on a compact disc.

[Matthew Crosby]

I bet you weren't very good at working in that music shop because you don't really know the terms.

[Ed Gamble]

Record.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

A book. Possible.

[Ed Gamble]

Probably a recording book. It. It could be. Oh, yeah, that makes more sense.

[Matthew Crosby]

Music shop. It's a. I thought you're working in HMV and you're selling someone a CD of an audiobook.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. You're telling them we need to talk about Kevin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

For his granddaughter.

[Ed Gamble]

For his granddaughter, exactly.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hey. Hey. Happy Christmas.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got your prawn sandwich. That's for your Uncle Dave's Mikey. And then we got you this as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're lucky. But Bobby wasn't buying another trumpet. Of course. Lily, do you remember that classic bit?

[Ed Gamble]

No, what's his classic bit?

[Matthew Crosby]

We rarely do Bet Rex Live and it's rarely that.

[Ed Gamble]

You're recommending Cannon and Bull to me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, my goodness. The trumpet routine. Well, Bobby's got a trumpet and Tommy's not happy with it. It's fantastic. And then Tommy breaks the trumpet and Bobby has a strop. And it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[Ed Gamble]

I cannot wait to meet trombone. That's the train home sorted. Howling.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Howling.

[Ed Gamble]

As I travel back to Beckenham.

[Matthew Crosby]

So funny. I will watch that. And then Mick Miller's noddy routine. Oh, just classic stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Listen, you are leaning on an open door here.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's going on? Leaning on an open door.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

What's happening?

[Matthew Crosby]

Fine. Matt from Nottingham says, I met Denise Manhausen on the Cross Channel ferry. How's that? That's normal radio. Is it?

[Ed Gamble]

Can I tell you this? Steve from Luton. I saw. This is a great one, Saw Chris Hoy at a pub in Edinburgh. He denied it was him, but his thighs were taken up. Two stools. The old man and the big baby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. Mundane ish. Celebrity encounter here from Neil in Bristol. And I agree, it's mundane ish.

[Ed Gamble]

Great.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'd say it's not mundane at all, but it's just great. So I thought I'd read it out. I sold Keith Chegwin a suit he'd ordered online from Next in Newbury in 2003.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow.

[Matthew Crosby]

There was a big fanfare when we knew he was on his way to collect Cheggers. I didn't know that the suits for collection still had the security tags on. So when he left he set the alarms off. The managers were very apologetic and I got a telling off for showing Keith up.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow. There's no bit of that story. I don't.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't love. I love it.

[Ed Gamble]

That is absolutely fantastic. Do you know what? There must be celebs out there who get the sort of. The great treatments. Right. Are you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Chegwin is one of them.

[Ed Gamble]

Chegwin's one of them. Are you able to.

[Matthew Crosby]

He wasn't able to buy the suits then. And that's why Naked Jungle happened, of course. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

He had to perform, what, a show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Supposed to just be jungle.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm sorry. I tried to get as soon the tags are on. It kept setting the alarms off. Thank you very much. Those, by the way, if you are a young person, please do get in touch. What are you up to for our brand new feature? What are you up to now? What are we saying as a young person? We're saying sort of 37 and under. Right.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Well, that's me. I qualify for that.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, barely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, so we don't. If you're a genuine young person and you listen to the show Sunday at Radio video x code 22.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, under 30, I think we can go with. They're probably up for things that we don't know about.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Students could be students, I think.

[Ed Gamble]

Students, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You could be a student. Right. But we've also got to think of our listenership and the general radio.

[Ed Gamble]

We've got to get someone.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But maybe the kids will get in touch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. Yeah. Don't tell us what your kids are up to. Tell us what you're up to as a kid. And by as a kid, we mean 29 and under. That's what we're saying. Yeah. Get in touch, guys. [e-mail] thank you so much. Of course. Get the podcast. Bye bye. Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, there we are, Matthew. Show's all done.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. That is the end of the show. And you know what? Not a moment too soon because the studio's falling apart.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, the studio's falling apart. The seams. Vin smashed up the microphone like the Incredible Hulk.

[Ed Gamble]

The first thing, the first thing you did basically, Vin, when you came in is smash up the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you smash up the microphone and then put the wrong fader up for my intro.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Yes, correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spot on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. When it's not spot on, it's the opposite.

[Ed Gamble]

You were spot on. Ed was spot on. Yeah. You were miles away.

[Matthew Crosby]

The rare Ed spot on moment. Do we have anything to do other than Bet Rex, Matthew?

[Ed Gamble]

No, I think that's it. Just to remind people if they would like to get in touch, then, of course, sundayadiox.co.uk is the email. We'd love to hear from you about any of the topics covered in this show, especially if you can confirm the. The rumors that the fireworks are definitely going to come back. Yes, yes. That's the main. That's the main thing I'm. I'm worried about because I do trust Finn's dad. Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So Jed said. Jed's told you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, baby.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no, no. Oh, God, my wife's gonna be devastated. So what have I been listening to this week? Lemon Heads have got a brand new album out and it is absolutely fantastic. So. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You make me older.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, me and time.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, no. It's you. I blame all my aging on you.

[Ed Gamble]

It's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna have to get preventative. Crosby Botox.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, you look. You look fantastic. Well, if it's any consolation, you keep me young. So. So it's, it's, it's a symbiotic relationship. It works. It works both ways. The new Lemonheads album is absolutely fantastic. I can't stop listening to the new Holly Humberstone single as well. So I'm obsessed with that. I think it's absolutely brilliant. I think it's. It puts me in mind of some of the more torch songy songs on Midwest Princess, the Chapel Roan album. So love that. Who am I?

[Matthew Crosby]

He's young again.

[Ed Gamble]

What kind of a person am I.

[Matthew Crosby]

No one knows. No one knows who you are.

[Ed Gamble]

My Radio one. Am I six Music? Am I Radio two? Nobody knows. But I'm certainly not Radio X. Yes. What else have I been listening to? No, those are the two main things. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nina Jirachi's I Love My Computer album. Have you heard that? That was very, very good. I listened to that this week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Obviously not to wait for the answer there.

[Ed Gamble]

It's like hyper. Like hyper pop. Very, very good. Well, it was more to the listener.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Say that name again.

[Ed Gamble]

Nina Jirachi.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Okay, I'll check that out.

[Ed Gamble]

Very good. You know, she's got a song about an ipod touch. What's not to love?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, now, I mean, what's not to love? That's it. That's a. That's a good song as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't play it.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I'm not. I shouldn't be playing it.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, but I meant that's.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a good, Good song title.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's just holding it up.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Oh, I was looking at the animation.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, don't look at the animation. It's a good song title. Anyway, she's got great.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Like Radiohead, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly, yeah. Very nice. Like Radiohead. Ed, what about you?

[Matthew Crosby]

Albums wise? The new Aesop Rock album. I heard it's a mess there too. ASAP Rock. One of my favorite rappers. It's a really good album. Probably the best since the Impossible Kid, which was 2016. The new Creeper album, Sanguvor 2. Mistress of Death.

[Ed Gamble]

Again, sounds like something that would be.

[Matthew Crosby]

On at Fright Fest if you like. Sort of operatic, sort of rock.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Metal y, but a bit pop punky as well. They're fantastic. Anyway, it's like very Danzig Creeper. It's hypo negative. Creeper.

[Ed Gamble]

Creeper. Yes. Yeah, Well, I love Danzig.

[Matthew Crosby]

Big shout out for those. And also the new Vince Gilligan show, Pluribook. Oh, I've not watched it on Apple tv and that's all I'll say about it. Okay, it's. Rhea Seehorn is the lead from Better Call Saul. She's amazing and the show's amazing and it's best to not know anything going in. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

I think I'm still paying for Apple tv. I haven't watched anything since the studio, so I should watch that really.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, that was quite recent. I'd say Apple TV is actually worth the money now.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it? Yeah, because what else should I be watching on Apple tv? I haven't watched Shrinking.

[Matthew Crosby]

I want to watch Slow Horses.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've not Watched Slow Horses Down Cemetery Road. That's another recommendation that's out at the moment. Emma Thompson.

[Ed Gamble]

What's the thing with Jon Hamm that everyone was raving about? Is that worth watching Mad Men?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's on Netflix.

[Ed Gamble]

I was talking about every sixth episode of Dirty Rock.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But yes. Okay, well, I will. I'll watch that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Down Cemetery Road is another Beck wreck. It's. It's another adaptation of another McC Heron book. Who wrote Slow Horses. And it's Emma Thompson and it's been adapted by Moena Banks, I think, and Ruth Hunt's in it as well. It's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, also, big bet rec for Traitor's Uncloaked. If you've. If you've not listened to any of the episodes of Traitors Uncloak, they're all brilliant.

[Matthew Crosby]

Watch. Let's say watch it.

[Ed Gamble]

Watch it. Why not listen to it? It's a visualized podcast.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's exclusive stuff on the. The service that shall not be named.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course. Of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

They can't. Very salty here. If we talk about other stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

Hate it at the moment.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

It's part of the national conversation, so I think it's fair.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

But for next week.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got about. You've got about six weeks before we're talking about it again, basically, because obviously.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

There'S, you know, presenters from here that are on it, so it does make sense to talk about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but we can't come.

[Ed Gamble]

People forget. Miles is on it. Yeah, Very good, though. He would be very good on it, actually. No, he wouldn't. He'd be annoying. Yeah. For everybody else, he'd be.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, he'd be hanging off the walls in the morning.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, the problem is, actually, he'd be quiet. That's the thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not in the morning, he wouldn't.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Unless they put a microphone in front of him. Otherwise he just. He'll just keep himself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, they were microphones then.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you know? You know what I mean? Well, unless they put a big mic with a big. With a big mouth.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what? We're gonna have to pop a massive microphone in front of him. Breakfast.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll just paint it out in.

[Matthew Crosby]

Post him in the tracer's turret with a huge microphone.

[Ed Gamble]

So he's trying to get Texas off the ground, but yeah. Anyway, Moyles for series two.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

That'd be good.

[Ed Gamble]

Me and. Me and Miles. I'm sleeping in the terror. He's not talking. It's gonna be great.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the reason I Was talking about Michael Barrymore yesterday, by the way, was. Someone suggested that Michael Barrymore does series two of Celebrity Traces. I would like it.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd like it. Yeah, he is good. Yeah, he is good.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

I went to see King Gizzard and Lizard Wizard.

[Matthew Crosby]

You did, didn't you?

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Did you, man, they were good. So if ever you get the chance to go and see them. Go and see them.

[Matthew Crosby]

They've got two albums I love, but you can't guarantee they're gonna.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

You have no idea what they're gonna put. They did a rave set when I went to see them, and then a few days.

[Matthew Crosby]

They would have been livid.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

It was brilliant. But I knew three songs.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

And they played for a couple of hours and then, like, a few days later, they played with an orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

So who knows?

[Matthew Crosby]

I just want the thrash album. So.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Yeah, I mean, they played. They played one of. One of them off of Rat's Nest Infest.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

They're a few years away from doing what Sparks did, which is kind of like hiring out a venue for 40 nights and playing every single album. Yeah. That's what.

[Matthew Crosby]

Divine Comedy did that recently.

[Ed Gamble]

Did Divine Comedy do that? Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Or they. No, they didn't do that recently. They have done that in the past.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Also, I saw Bemi Oladipo the other day.

[Matthew Crosby]

Stand up, Oladipo.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Oladipo. Apologies. He was amazing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Apologies.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Yeah. So I wasn't aware of him, but he was fantastic.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's very, very funny.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Great story about Sheila Fogarty.

[Ed Gamble]

I gave him a couple of weeks ago, so. Good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Andrew Mensah was hosting.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's great. Yeah. And Andrew and Bemi do emceeing together and they put clips online. They're very funny together.

[Ed Gamble]

Great.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Just like, just slagging people off in the crowd, basically.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

Not slagging off sh.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

No, no, they're friends.

[Ed Gamble]

Good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can we start a campaign to change Sheila's photo on the stairs?

[Ed Gamble]

She's got to get a better photo. You know, we love Sheila.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know when. You know, a photo's not been through the approval process?

[Ed Gamble]

No one's. An agent hasn't seen that. Sheila certainly hasn't seen that. But she has to see us to walk past it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Everyone has to walk past it every day.

[Ed Gamble]

Hasn't she been through enough?

[Matthew Crosby]

But she's looking down and she's got, like, claw hands.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, It's. It is like she's been sort of. It looks like she's been shaken awake.

[Vincent (Producer Vince)]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And she's just sort of clawing around to find out where the microphone is, what region.

[Matthew Crosby]

A glass of water.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly. Yeah, it's a. It's a bad photo.

[Matthew Crosby]

But Shout out to Sheila.

[Ed Gamble]

She doesn't look anything like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

If that's the photo you've seen of her and you know, if you'd taken that in, if you're in like CSI and you take it into a bar and said, have you seen this person? But no, no one's seen that person. No, no, just exist.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cuz that's a T. Rex.

[Ed Gamble]

But we love Sheila.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway.

[Ed Gamble]

Bye bye.