Episode 335 – Phil Ellis / Lovely Legs

Summary

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Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 335 – Phil Ellis / Lovely Legs | November 23, 2025

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Overview

The 335th episode of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio X show delivers the duo's signature mix of surreal comedy, baffling listener questions, generational culture clash, and in-studio banter with the irrepressible Phil Ellis. From debates about odd animal milks to the enduring mysteries of kangaroo pouches, the episode riffs on the absurdities of everyday life and the idiosyncrasies of modern youth culture. Highlights include a crash course on Gen Z slang, a confessional "misheard lyrics" session, awkward social scenarios, and Phil Ellis grappling with his newfound sex symbol status. As always, the tone is friendly, chaotic, and relentlessly quick-witted.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Absurd Listener Emails & Strange Questions

• Worst-Tasting Mammal Milk ([00:44])
  • A listener asks: “Which mammal has the worst-tasting milk?”
    • Ed suggests pig’s milk (“Apparently pig's milk is pretty grim.” [00:58]), while Matthew adds donkey milk, referencing Cleopatra bathing in it (“She was one of the stickiest people in Egypt.” [01:56])
    • Vin imagines platypus or marsupial (kangaroo) milk as possibly being even worse, humorously speculating about its storage in pouches.

2. Body Parts Behaving Like Other Body Parts ([03:13])

• Inspired by a listener: “What if your fingers behaved like your hair and needed regular trimming?”
  • The concept spirals into surreal notions—receding fingers, finger transplants from Turkey, and “body bits getting erect.”
  • Ed: “What if other bits of your body, apart from the genitals and nipples, got erect? … Like a whole leg erection, you'd have to hop around.” [03:47]
• Spontaneous Song Creation: Ed and Matthew break into singing “Hey guys, I’ve got an erection… I’ve got a selection” ([04:23]), and muse about creating jingles from the snippet.

3. Connecting with Gen Z: Terms, Vibes, and Trousers

• Gen Z Slang Deep-Dive ([08:10])

  • Ed and Matthew attempt to use Gen Z terms: “big yikes”, “bet”, “drip”, “cheugy”, “vibe”, “high key”, etc.
  • Matthew: “According to the Gen Z Bible, which is Google AI Overview…” [08:53]
  • Joking about the show being a "fidget spinner perched on a razor scooter" for the youth demo.

• Young People Interviews:

  • Rhiannon (28) ([14:03, 16:09])
    • Revealed scrolling TikTok is the main activity for “kids.” Suggests index fingers may become more muscular over generations.
    • Discussing club comms: Snapchat is still in use—maybe for in-club communication, though she values “living in the moment.”
  • Sam (23) ([38:08])
    • Points out the trend of going to the gym and drinking protein shakes replacing pub socializing for the younger crowd.
    • Admits never seeing a full episode of The Simpsons, believing “Simpsons” is their breed, not surname ([52:57]).
  • The hosts repeatedly marvel at the generational gap and express bemused fascination with youth habits.

4. Tour Stories, Local Gigs & Life Admin Misadventures

• Dream Fireworks Hosting Gigs ([11:23])
  • Ed aspires to go from hosting in Beckenham up to London's citywide fireworks—flatly declining ambitions to travel further. “I don’t want to travel. I can walk to Beckenham.” [11:55]
  • Imaginary Christmas film: Ed swaps life with his German doppelgänger, who is—naturally—a princess.
• Matthew’s Mattress Ordering Ordeal ([43:02])
  • Matthew shares the absurd challenge of trying to buy a bunk bed mattress online, only to find it in his four-year-old’s name. He ends up forging an email, “Please send Matt,” scrawled in crayon and photographed for customer service ([44:13]). Ed: “If she had been in the house... I would have put her on the phone.” [44:27]

5. Phil Ellis Interview

• On Being the Only Guest ([22:57])
  • Phil enjoys being the show’s “solo guest”—embracing his reputation for solitude.
• Barenaked Ladies Lyric Guessing Game ([23:34])
  • Team attempts to recall lines from “One Week;” devolves into a comical (and incorrect) debate on “your brain stops ticking.”
• Misheard Lyrics & The Day/Night Lifestyle ([24:38])
  • Phil’s favorite: “Flintstones, we’ll have a day all night” [24:57]. Discussion of Edinburgh exploits and being a “man of the day night.”
• Tour Chat: “Bathmat” ([26:37])
  • Phil rejects earlier title “Hair Plugs Tour,” not wanting confusion about hair status.
  • On Taskmaster, Phil’s “sex symbol” moment and the viral wig episode: “I'm the housewives' favorite divorcee. But let this be known ladies: I will never love another man's child.” [27:36]

Phil’s Big Questions

• On Embarrassment ([29:35])
  • Phil gets ahead of embarrassment by “8-miling himself”—roasting his own balding, clothes, marital status on stage.
  • Most embarrassing recent moment: Asking a man to move his leg on the train, only to receive a compliment about his own “lovely long legs.” Leads to running “long leg” gags ([31:14]).
• “What Is It?”: Kangaroo Pouch Material ([33:23])
  • “What sort of fabric is inside a kangaroo's pouch? Is it fur lined, or is it fleshy?”—generates spirited theorizing about marsupial interiors.
  • Matthew: “I’d imagine maybe quilted.” Ed: “Is it like the palm of the hand or the inside of the mouth?” ([33:54])
• Ever Had an Erection? ([35:12])
  • “Well, I won’t again after this.” – Phil Ellis

6. Listeners’ Lives & Young People Reports

• Reader Emails:
  • Peter (26): “Working, doing chores, failing to organize social events as all my friends are busy. So, basically, same as you guys but with slightly more life left.” ([19:22])
  • Eloise (b. 2000): Nights out, buying poppers, engagement parties, working at a lesbian club night, IRL Twitch streams, “watching TikTok and playing video games in my pants.” Ends with: “Skibidi, Toilet Rizz, Slay, no Car Punks.”
  • Zoe (20, Glasgow/Cambridge): “We charge our phone, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie.” Also enjoys Letterboxd, 10+ hours of sleep, and can’t do housework without a podcast ([47:01]).

7. Pop Culture Mysteries & Generational Gaps

• The Simpsons Theories with Sam (23) ([52:53])

  • Sam's view: thought "Simpsons" was the family's “breed,” not surname; can't name Lisa, suspects they've predicted the future merely by covering every possibility.
  • Ed: “You thought ‘Simpsons’ was the breed?! … Like Sylvanian families?” [53:43]

• Other Generational TV Gaps:

  • Ed proposes a future segment: ask young people what they think classic TV shows are about, e.g., “What do you think Only Fools and Horses is?” [56:26]

8. Music Recommendations and Miscellaneous Comedy

• Heavy Metal Band “SpiritWorld” ([36:07])
  • Matthew extols their “Wild West” musical theatrics; Ed loves their “all black cowboy” aesthetic.
• Escape Rooms & Daily Life ([49:02])
  • Matthew recommends “The Alchemist” escape room in Amsterdam.
  • A classic radio moment: Ed is caught jamming to hold music by the Smooth radio team while stuck on the phone with “Bed Kingdom” ([56:38]).
• Wombles Weather Chat ([45:27])
  • The hosts debate whether the Wombles have winter coats and remind listeners to care for their fictional Womble pets.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ed Gamble: “What if other bits of your body, apart from the genitals and nipples, got erect? Like, a whole leg erection… you’d have to hop around.” ([03:47])
• Matthew Crosby on Cleopatra: “She was one of the stickiest people in Egypt.” ([01:56])
• Vin: “Do you think cow’s milk is brown?” ([02:22])
• Matthew Crosby: “Hey guys, I’ve got an erection… I’ve got a selection!” ([04:23])
• Ed Gamble on Gen Z research: “Are we a cool show now? Bet.” ([09:02])
• Rhiannon (interviewee): “Our index fingers are more muscular than they've ever been before.” ([14:34])
• Eloise (listener): “We charge our phone, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie.” ([47:44])
• Ed Gamble interpreting Sam’s Simpsons theory: “You thought… the breed? … Like Sylvanian families?!” ([53:43])
• Phil Ellis: “I'm the housewives’ favorite divorcee. But let this be known ladies: I will never love another man's child.” ([27:36])
• Phil Ellis admitting defeat: “Well, I won’t again after this.” (on erections, [35:12])

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Quick Reference: Segment Timestamps

• [00:44] – Worst mammal milk debate
• [03:13] – "Body parts like other body parts"/spontaneous jingle
• [08:10] – Gen Z slang "crash course"
• [14:03], [16:09] – Rhiannon interview segments
• [22:57] – Phil Ellis joins
• [23:34] – Barenaked Ladies lyric guessing game
• [26:37] – Bathmat tour chat
• [29:35] – Embarrassment & “lovely long legs”
• [33:23] – “What is it?” Kangaroo pouch speculation
• [38:08] – Gen Z: Sam interview (“war memorial” vs “the pub”)
• [43:02] – Mattress-ordering fiasco
• [45:27] – Snow chat, Wombles
• [47:44] – Zoe’s Gen Z life summary
• [52:53] – Sam and The Simpsons
• [56:38] – Ed’s Bed Kingdom/Smooth radio hold music saga

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Conclusion

Episode 335 is a comedy whirlwind blending surreal hypotheticals, bemused inquiry into youth culture, and the glorious foolery of Ed, Matthew, and Phil Ellis. Underneath the relentless riffing lies a genuine curiosity about generational change (“Should I wear bigger trousers?”), sensitivity to social quirks (embracing embarrassment), and a talent for elevating the mundane to the hilarious. Whether discussing animal milks or the mysteries of cartoon lineage, the show remains a brilliant, self-deprecating love letter to British morning radio and the oddness of daily life.

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Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show podcast of the radio show that we do on Sunday mornings 8 till 11 on Radio X, the radio station.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lovely. I think you've covered that all there, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I think that's something for everybody. Okay, well, enjoy it, folks. We'll see you on the other side. We've got. We've got an email in and I mean, the content of email is good, but the first line is fantastic. Dear Ed James and Scooby Doo VIN or something, which I love. Just a complete. A real disregard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, A real disrespect.

[Ed Gamble]

A real disrespect and a real disregard for the format of what we do here. But yes, dear Ed James and Scooby Divin or something. If you had to guess, and this is a good question for all three of us, which mammal do you think has the worst tasting milk?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, when I first read this, I was thinking, it's got a obese. Apparently pig's milk is pretty grim.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you don't see it knocking around a lot, do you? Not really.

[Vin]

Feels like a Mick Chen email.

[Ed Gamble]

It's nice. It's from Sam. Cheers. That's a huge compliment from you. From me. Coming from Vin.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's the highest compliment that an email gets paid. It's absolute cobblers.

[Vin]

After Giles from Gogglebox, I think Mick Chen might be the funniest man alive.

[Ed Gamble]

You love Mick Chen, don't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

And you love Giles from Goggle Box. Of course.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. And I'm a big Andy the Painter fan. I think if we're going to talk about our contributors, Giles, of course, still yet to email the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Donkey.

[Ed Gamble]

Donkey milk. Asses milk. Yeah. Although isn't that. Didn't they bathe in that clear patch? Asses milk. Yeah. Yeah. Cleopatra bathing it to get the skin nice. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get her mouth shut.

[Vin]

And she added honey as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right.

[Vin]

Honey makes everything better.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Your skin. Are you sure? Like, if you had to.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sticky. She was one of the stickiest people in Egypt.

[Ed Gamble]

And she was.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And you know, which is awful. Cause it's so sandy. You walk out, if there's a breeze, then all that sand sticking to you, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

She was the Sandpaper Empress. That's what he called her, wasn't it? Anyway, so, yeah, we're going pig. We're going donkey Finn. What are you going for?

[Vin]

Pig's milk. You reckon?

[Ed Gamble]

I think pig's milk is Gonna be rank.

[Vin]

I mean, obviously in my head it's pink.

[Ed Gamble]

Why?

[Vin]

Cause pigs are pink.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you think cow's milk is brown.

[Matthew Crosby]

And not all pigs are pink.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But you know, when you think of your classic pig.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Pink pig with a capital P, what's.

[Matthew Crosby]

The biggest one you can imagine?

[Vin]

Of course, I would say maybe like a platypus.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Platypus milk.

[Ed Gamble]

Platypus milk. Or any of the marsupial type, you know, the wombats.

[Matthew Crosby]

Kangaroo milk.

[Ed Gamble]

Kangaroo milk. Kangaroo milk. Feels like it's gonna have an acrid taste.

[Vin]

I just sort of feel like it would have hung around a bit before it gets to you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Before it gets to you? Yeah, yeah. Before it gets to one, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You think, well, it just sat out in the sun a little bit too long. Is that.

[Vin]

Cause Australia's house, I think in the pouch is. I guess that's. I guess I'm thinking of that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I take that's where the milk's produced.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, I think we've stumbled into an area we don't know.

[Ed Gamble]

We don't know enough about it, but thank you for the question, sir.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I read this suggested text topic first?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from Simon. Listening to your chat with Ian Smith on this week's show, I was taken with the idea of what if body parts behave like other parts?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Having just been to the barbers, I thought, what if your fingers behave like your hair and you get them trimmed every few weeks.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not sure if it's got the legs for a full text, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

[Vin]

All your fingers fall off.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. You're trimming anyway with your fingernails. I suppose. So it's not that far off. No.

[Ed Gamble]

If you had to just trim the actual fingers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And then you get receding fingers.

[Ed Gamble]

We talk about big fingers later on the show. If you're a fan of Finger Jack.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you've tuned in for the fingers.

[Vin]

Get some new fingers from Turkey.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

The thing I used to think about as finger plugs as a kid, I used to think, what if other bits of your body, apart from the genitals and the nipples, got erect?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, you used to think about that, did you?

[Ed Gamble]

I used to think about that. Like, what if you just got a whole leg erection and you would just have to hop around with a big old arthritis.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's basically getting a. In your joints, isn't it? It is.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm afraid you've got a serious case of joints, unfortunately.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got in your wrist.

[Ed Gamble]

And not in a Good way and not in a good way. No, I didn't. Yeah, that's what they say in the fist worth two in the wrist.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you want to sing your song?

[Ed Gamble]

I've forgotten it now because what was it? Hey, Is it. Hey, boys. Hey, lads.

[Vin]

Hey, guys.

[Ed Gamble]

Hey, guys, I've got an erection. Hey, guys, I've got a selection.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the sort of thing that happens off air.

[Ed Gamble]

That was me getting ready. That was me getting into the zone to do today's show.

[Vin]

That's our Best of British entry.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's going to be our best of British entry. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be. Hey, guys, I've got an erection by Matthew Crosby. So get ready for Best of British. We're going to win this year.

[Ed Gamble]

Let's wait until.

[Vin]

Until Easter. So actually, you could release it by then.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, absolutely. Well, if somebody wants to take that little bit of us singing there and put some music behind it, we would love.

[Vin]

Somebody will do.

[Ed Gamble]

We would love to hear it.

[Matthew Crosby]

The thing is, other podcasts and radio shows that our friends do, they have very talented listeners who create them jingles.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think we have that.

[Ed Gamble]

We don't have that.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think we have that. So I think people are gonna take that snippet and do some really bad.

[Ed Gamble]

Stuff with it, but I can't wait.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And unfortunately, we won't be able to play any of it on air, but it'll be podcast.

[Matthew Crosby]

I will not be able to talk about Best of British on air because I will only be able to say vote for hey, guys, I've got an erection by Matty Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

Are you allowed to say the word erection on the radio?

[Vin]

Yeah. I mean, context is important.

[Ed Gamble]

Hey, guys, I've got an erection. Can you say that expression? Could we start.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can the context be in Best of British?

[Ed Gamble]

Could we start each hour of the show by saying, hey, guys, I've got an erection? And coming up on this.

[Vin]

And actually coming up on this hour.

[Ed Gamble]

We'Ve got Phil Ellis.

[Vin]

That's a really good point because actually we forgot to start the show with something this week.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no. What do we have to do this week?

[Vin]

I was just looking for it. We're meant to start the show with good morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, we completely forgot. We've done an entire show without.

[Matthew Crosby]

Without saying good morning.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we'll do it next week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Next week.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a rollover.

[Vin]

We won't remember.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, hang on. We haven't interviewed Phil yet. Oh, good point. So When Phil comes in.

[Vin]

We've already got to talk to Phil about. About Bare Naked Ladies.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

We need to remember.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's two things I think we can talk about. Two things we can remember, two things we could say. And we're here with Phil Ellis and we play.

[Vin]

We'll play that.

[Matthew Crosby]

And we play Good Morning by Ian Smith. Good morning.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got a lovely message for Phil here for me.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then we'll talk about the lyrics of the Bare Naked Ladies one week. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

And that'll then.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hey, guys, we've got an erection.

[Ed Gamble]

Hey, guys, have you had an erection?

[Matthew Crosby]

And then what other body parts would you like to act like? Other body parts. Okay.

[Vin]

And then you're on tour, so you like.

[Ed Gamble]

If we get to the tour, we get to the tour. But that's. That for me is very much.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's very pre record. It's half noon. And for context, I'm then taking Phil to off menu. Yeah, yeah.

[Vin]

So you could. Maybe you could do some of our questions there if we run out of time.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, ever had an erection? Not a bad question. So, you know, because.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really bad question.

[Ed Gamble]

How long? How. How long can papa doves or bread carry on? Really? Surely, surely the genie's got to mix it up a little bit.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. SCREAMING have you ever had an erection into Elle Fanning's face changes John Kern's episode. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Has a gorilla ever had an erection?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh. Have you ever had an erection near a gorilla? Well, we'll talk. We talk about. There's plenty of. Plenty of chimp chat later on as well in the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Plenty of chimp chat. I've really got chimps on the brain at the moment.

[Ed Gamble]

Those chilly, chilly chimps. There's also young people chat. So look, there's plenty of.

[Vin]

Yeah, and there's some extra young people chat in the outro.

[Ed Gamble]

Whenever we play Arctic Monkeys, I think.

[Matthew Crosby]

About you calling monkeys playing right now.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, of course they are.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course they are.

[Ed Gamble]

It's Radio X. But I always think of you calling them, which was like one of our first ever shows.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Really made me laugh. And of course somebody emailed him to say that monkeys aren't chimps and a lot of fun was had.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, you do get the listeners you deserve and you are our listeners, so you deserve this. The show.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hi, guys and welcome to the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show here on Radio X. Now, in last week's show, we made a genuine effort to connect more with the youth of today. The Gen Z. Matthew did some interviews. We learned some things about our Gen Z brethren and sistren and et cetera and.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly right.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't really know how the terms work, but I've been learning some common Gen Z terms. Cool and big. Big yikes. We've been behind the times.

[Ed Gamble]

Wait, Big yikes is one of them Big yikes. I say yikes all the time. These things come back around.

[Matthew Crosby]

They come back around.

[Ed Gamble]

But I've been saying normal S. Yikes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got to ramp up my yikes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Big yikes is apparently a term.

[Ed Gamble]

Love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

According to the Gen Z Bible, which is Google AI overview.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course it is. Of course it is. The best of the AI is the Google AI. Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are we a cool show now? Bet.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I like that bet.

[Matthew Crosby]

Which of course comes from. You Bet.

[Ed Gamble]

The TV show. You bet. Going back to our screens with Mulhern.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. As. As we can all agree, myself and Matthew are bussin's. We ain't cheugy or cringe. We've got great drip. We're always flex about what we do. That's true. And if you don't agree with us, we'll ghost you. High key, no cap simp slay sus vibe.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, that was absolutely sigma. Great stuff from Ed Gamble there.

[Matthew Crosby]

And what I learned from last week's Gen Z investigation, when you turned into the Louis Theroux for the Gen Z generation. Matthew, that's Generation Z generation. What I learned is it's really cheugy to write your intros.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, it's.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it's best just to come in in the morning and do a quick goo. And that's what they call Google quick goog. And in fact, Ask Jeeves is coming back in.

[Ed Gamble]

Ask Jeeves is coming. Big yikes for Ask Jeeves.

[Matthew Crosby]

But Jeeves, now, if you have a look at him, he's wearing big baggy trousers and he's got two partners.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course he is. Cause that's how they're doing it. It's Polly Jeeves. This is Hard Fire Living for the weekend here on Radio X.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X. This is Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

Wonderful introduction there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you so much. I feel like we've probably increased our listenership by about 300 million.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. We've turned this show into the radio equivalent of a fidget spinner. Yes, a fidget spinner perched on a razor scooter. Yeah, it really is. It's for the kids.

[Matthew Crosby]

I actually have a little peek into what happens in the studio. We call Matthew the fidget spinner.

[Ed Gamble]

That's right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because he's always got his hands and his trousers and he's spinning around on his office chair.

[Ed Gamble]

And I love it. I absolutely love it. And if you stuck some sparklers in my hair, it'd be perfect for fireworks. Anyway, a wonderful show we've got here because I've interviewed More fireworks night. Always mention it. I can't stop talking about the fireworks night.

[Matthew Crosby]

I haven't had many people, only 360 more sleeps.

[Ed Gamble]

I know, it's so close. Yeah, so close. Haven't had many people asking me to host any of their local events, but it will happen if I keep putting the deets out there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sundayadiox.co.uk.com Are you using the radioacte email address to be booked for.

[Vin]

I'm deleting those emails.

[Ed Gamble]

Fair enough. All right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Where would. Obviously, Beckenham is your dream place to do the fireworks and you do that regularly. But where else in the world? Anywhere in the world. Where do you want to host the fireworks night for?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I think it's. I think it would be good to. You know, you start in Beckenham part. The London Borough of Bromley.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

So I think if there was a Bromley Borough fireworks, I move up to that and then eventually I'm doing the London fireworks.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm literally asking you to pick anywhere in the world and you've gone. Bromley Borough.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, Bromley Borough. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you're keeping it quite rich. Realistic.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't want to travel.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't want to travel.

[Ed Gamble]

I can walk to the Beckenham.

[Matthew Crosby]

But surely Beckenham is twinned with Rio de Janeiro.

[Ed Gamble]

It's twinned with Newe in Germany, so maybe I should do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

But they might have their own little German Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

Is there a German Crosby?

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what he'd be called. And yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Imagine if you look the same.

[Ed Gamble]

GERMAN accent.

[Matthew Crosby]

Imagine if you look the same and came up with a pact that you were gonna switch. What a Christmas film that would be.

[Ed Gamble]

That would be a great Christmas film. He'd have to. Obviously, I would be a normal suburban dad and he'd have to be a princess.

[Matthew Crosby]

He'd be a princess.

[Ed Gamble]

He'd be a princess.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course, then he'd come over and his wife and you would fall in love.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, Lindsay Lohan.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course.

[Ed Gamble]

It's always Lindsay Lohan.

[Matthew Crosby]

And him and your wife would fall in love. She'd love that. Yeah, yeah. Little German Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it would probably be Jed who runs the fireworks, actually, if it was my wife or someone else of Course, yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you weren't listening last week or the week before. We are full in the knowledge that Matthew's wife is cheating on him with a man called Jed, who runs the Beckenham Recreation Club.

[Ed Gamble]

A married gay man called Jed, who my wife has decided is a better prospect than I am.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you know, there's a reason they call it fireworks.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely, yes. That's the fireworks talking. Exactly right.

[Radio X Announcer]

Crunch and crumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Death is Radio X. Matthew, you've been doing some more of your young person correspondence gigs.

[Ed Gamble]

That's right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Where you speak to young people. Specifically in the Global offices.

[Ed Gamble]

Correct, yes. Maybe one day we'll venture further afield. We'll go out into Leicester Square, Vin and I, and meet some civvies. Yes, but for today we're meeting the corporate bods.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Working for the Global empire.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I just check? You came in on a different day to do this, didn't you?

[Ed Gamble]

You.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't do it pre show on a Sunday morning. There's no one around.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I just check? He's not getting any more money for this, is he?

[Ed Gamble]

No, definitely not.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, good.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm actually getting less money for it, actually. They're docking my pay.

[Matthew Crosby]

You had to pay the young people?

[Ed Gamble]

That's right. I had to pay the young people, but it's all above the.

[Vin]

He does have to pay. He has to pay for my train fare.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, listen, I did speak to some young people and this is a chat I had with Rhiannon. Now, we've got two clips here. Yes, tell me a bit about this first clip. What's happening in this first one? Or should we just.

[Vin]

I can't remember, so press play.

[Rhiannon]

Hi, I'm Rhiannon.

[Ed Gamble]

Hi, Rhiannon. And how old are you? If it's not a rude question.

[Rhiannon]

No, I don't mind being asked. I am 28.

[Ed Gamble]

28. Do you consider yourself to still be young?

[Rhiannon]

Yeah, I'm under 30, so I would say I'm a young person.

[Ed Gamble]

That's the ledge for you.

[Rhiannon]

What's when you're supposedly supposed to start thinking about serious things, isn't it? It's like 30 plus.

[Ed Gamble]

The fun stops, supposedly when the fun stops.

[Phil Ellis]

Stop.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what they say. Okay, so I've got a few big questions about being young. The first one is. This is quite broad. What are the kids up to?

[Rhiannon]

TikTok, Isn't it really? Just scrolling, constantly scrolling. Our index fingers are more muscular than they've ever been before.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you think this generation is going to have Bigger index fingers than the previous generation.

[Rhiannon]

I'd love for someone to conduct a study on that. I think we need to look into it.

[Ed Gamble]

There we go.

[Matthew Crosby]

I liked that chat.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'll tell you why. Cause I feel like we had some very young people on the previous show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. They were in their early twenties. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

The gulf between you. Did we have a nineteen year old on last week's show as well?

[Ed Gamble]

We did have a 19 year old, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I think the gulf between you and 19 is so big, I don't feel like you established a connection on last week's show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Whereas I think Rhiannon understood you a little bit more. Still 28, still very young.

[Ed Gamble]

She's had to talk to sort of people my age.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, she's familiar with it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Her granddad, for example.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly. A great granddad.

[Matthew Crosby]

So she went along with you on the muscular finger riff.

[Ed Gamble]

She did. She picked up the ball and ran with it. Can I just say as well, by the way, huge brownie points to Crosby for you hear the word Rhiannon. I think you can. And you don't mention Fleetwood Mac. Right. That is. That's big for me. Right. I had to force myself not to go, hey, do you love the song Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac?

[Matthew Crosby]

See where my brain went? Of course. Cause I'm younger than you was Rhiannon.

[Vin]

Yes, exactly.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I was. If she'd said, my name's Rhiannon to me, I'd say, under your own umbrella.

[Ed Gamble]

Ellen. Ellen. Ellen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ellen.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly. Yes. Well, listen, there are two very different ways we could have alienated a young person there. Anyway, do you want to hear more? Let's hear more from Rhiannon. Are you whatsapping in the club?

[Rhiannon]

Sometimes. You might Snapchat in the club.

[Ed Gamble]

This is what I've heard. So are you Snapchatting people who are in the club with you or you Snapchatting to the outside world?

[Rhiannon]

Oh, Snapchatting. Anyone who's out, really, they might be in another club, they might be next to you. Just so long as they're on Snapchat, you're Snapchatting them.

[Ed Gamble]

So if it's too loud in a club, you might Snapchat the person next to you.

[Rhiannon]

I mean, I personally wouldn't, but because I have seen other people doing it. And I mean, I might judge them because they're not really there, living in the moment like they should be, but it is, you know, something that people do.

[Matthew Crosby]

I like the cut of Rhiannon's jib.

[Ed Gamble]

Me too.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's living in the moment. She's present, she's in the club. Sure, sure. But she's not on Snapchat, which I didn't know was still a thing, apparently. So I thought Snapchat died years ago.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought Snapchat went in the way of Vine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but no, I thought no one used Snapchat anymore because people were using it for too sourcy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but if you stopped people using platforms because people were using it for two saucy reasons, the Internet would have to shut down entirely, wouldn't it? There's no bit of the Internet that isn't used in some way for grumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe. Maybe I should get Snapchat for the storylines.

[Ed Gamble]

Maybe you should get Snapchat but don't use it in the club because you won't be present.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, well, I literally won't be present.

[Ed Gamble]

You won't be in the club.

[Matthew Crosby]

I won't be in the club.

[Ed Gamble]

But we got tantalizingly close there to confirming the rumor that the kids are whatsapping in the club.

[Matthew Crosby]

So maybe. But maybe we're thinking you interviewed a 19 year old and they were like, no. Yes, but maybe we need to be looking late 20s. Maybe the late 20s kids are WhatsApping in the club.

[Ed Gamble]

This is what we need to do. So next week I've gotta find someone who's 29.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

There's gotta be someone in the office who's 29. I'm gonna interview them, find out if they are. What? Cause we're getting the other question I want to ask as well, which popped into my head this week and it supported by your intro. Should I be wearing bigger trousers?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you definitely should.

[Ed Gamble]

Should I be wearing bigger trousers? Now, the problem is, if you're a short man and you wear big clothes, it looks like you're a toddler who's put on your dad's trousers to march around the house and go, I'm Daddy. Yeah, right. Which I also do. I do march around the house and say, I'm Daddy. But I feel like it's a tricky one to, you know, like, if I was to get a big old pair of Tom Grenins, you know, if I was to get like a big old pair of, you know, the kind of.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's been a while since we've talked.

[Ed Gamble]

About Tom Greninson, but he's got big trousers. Or, you know, maybe you could get a big shorts. I don't know. It's a bit humiliating, isn't it, to.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wear Joe Marla shorts?

[Ed Gamble]

Joe Marler Shorts.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, also, I don't know if Sylvanian families do baggy jeans.

[Ed Gamble]

Baggy dungarees. Yeah. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Radio X Announcer]

Vroom, broom and honk honk.

[Ed Gamble]

We are, you know, former young people ourselves.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

No longer young people. Ed's slightly younger than me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but come on, let's forget about.

[Ed Gamble]

Let's forget about calling him young people.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm so happy.

[Ed Gamble]

You know what? I like being the age I am, but I'm also fascinated by what the kids are getting up to. Are they whatsapping in the club? Are they wearing big trousers? Is this the sort of thing that I should still be doing? Or can I leave that world behind? But we've had some young people get into it.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're a couple of unks. But we love to know what you're up to.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. We just. You know, the thing about unks is they're allowed to take a keen interest in their nieces and nephews. And I see all the young people listening as mine nieces and nephews.

[Matthew Crosby]

I see us as two patrons of an aquarium looking at young people through.

[Ed Gamble]

A big glass, occasionally licking the glass. But that's up to us, and it's not against the rules. So this is from Peter and Chester, who says, hi, I'm 26 and what I'm up to is working, doing chores and failing to organize social events with my friends as they're all busy or live too far away. So basically the same as you guys, but with slightly more life left in me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Good luck in the charts this week, Peter and Chester.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, we don't know that for a fact, Peter.

[Ed Gamble]

That's true.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, this is the thing about life. You gotta grab it with both hands because, you know, there could be an earthquake in Chester. You could fall down a big crack.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's a sick hole.

[Matthew Crosby]

You could succumb to a rare tropical disease.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. You could get Rocky Mountain spotted fever, something like that. You know, we're not wishing it on you, but you could get it.

[Matthew Crosby]

You could be punched to death by a chimp.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. So if your friends are too far away, travel to them.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Get yourself some public transportation.

[Matthew Crosby]

Always remember, avoid chimps. Chimps are not a pet.

[Ed Gamble]

Chimps are not a pet. No. If they come at you and you think, oh, this is going to be a nice cuddle, even if they reach to classic cuddly areas, they want to tear them off, mate.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. They could rip them off with one finger because they've been scrolling big old.

[Ed Gamble]

Big old chimp fingers.

[Vin]

There's a scenario where. Yes, you just simply stop to exist. Just. Just out of the blue, just.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you just cease Thanos.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

[Vin]

You know, it's always on the card. So.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So, you know, go and see your friends. Hug them. Don't hug a chimp. Do you want to do Eloise's?

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure. This is good. We need some sort of translation for some of this.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. We might have to stop occasionally for a glossary.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. You asked here what young people are up to at the moment and I'm mostly qualified because I was born in 2000.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. No, we accept that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Classic pulp. I'm not the youngest young person, but you get the listeners you deserve and thank you. Here are some things I've done recently. Saw Joey Valance and Bray.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, is Joey Valance any relation to Holly Valance? Because that's what I think of. She could have a kid.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a skirting bit around the side of the bed. Oh, I love the fellowship. I bought poppers. We didn't do the poppers. That's what I was up to when I was young, buying them and being.

[Ed Gamble]

Too scared to do them.

[Matthew Crosby]

Doing quite a lot of material about it, actually. I went to an engagement party immediately before working a shift at a lesbian club night and had to change into my sexy nurse costume at the engagement party. It wasn't a costume party. The costume could not have been more boobs forward.

[Ed Gamble]

How many boobs forward was it? Because two is typically the number.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because if it's more than two, you are. I mean, rather than being a nurse, you'll have to go and see a nurse. When I was last in London, see Clash of the Comics, Had a great time. You were both excellent. Thank you. Thank you. I scampered around to be on an IRL Twitch livestream in real life, as.

[Ed Gamble]

We learned last week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it was very nice and everyone was very lovely about it. Would scamper again. The majority of the rest of my time is spent watching TikTok and playing video games in my pants. Skibidi, Toilet Rizz, Slay, no Car Punks. Eloise and. Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you so much, Eloise. I didn't understand a bally word of that, but we loved, loved, loved every second of it.

[Vin]

Joey Valance and Bray, yes. Are an American hip hop duo from Pennsylvania.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I like hip hop, yes.

[Ed Gamble]

And I like America.

[Matthew Crosby]

So they sound off a hip, a hippie to the hippity, the hoppy.

[Vin]

They've toured with some 41 and they've done Charlie XCX covers. So maybe actually you'll like them.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, they sound great.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X Radio, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, joined by our only guest of today, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Our only scoop for Daddy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Our only scoop for Daddy, it's the wonderful Phil Ellis. Welcome to the show, Phil.

[Phil Ellis]

It's an absolute pleasure to be here and to be the solo guest.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, the only guest. You're all we need, Phil.

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah, and I like to be as alone as possible.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's a very lonely guy.

[Ed Gamble]

Would you like us to leave? Would that make you more comfortable?

[Phil Ellis]

I've got some ideas to take the show in a new direction.

[Ed Gamble]

Can we do a little bit of show business before we get into. I mean, business of show rather than show business before we get into the actual business of show, which is, of course, your show business career. The song One Week by Barenaked Ladies, are you familiar with that song?

[Phil Ellis]

No. If it's not by Oasis, I'm afraid. But I know I'm happy to go for it. Okay, well, I'm gonna have a guess.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Vin]

That song, do you know that tune?

[Phil Ellis]

Oh, I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Phil Ellis]

I know this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. So, Chickadee, China, the Chinese chicken. What do you think the next line is?

[Phil Ellis]

Yes, please. Two of them. Hey, go on.

[Ed Gamble]

It's very.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Friday.

[Phil Ellis]

Make it three.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, do you know what? I love that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Better. That is better. Eat it. It's chicken and China, the Chinese chicken. Eat a drumstick.

[Ed Gamble]

You have a drumstick. You have a drumstick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, fine. You have a drumstick. I'll agree with that.

[Ed Gamble]

And your brain starts ticking. That's what I think it is.

[Matthew Crosby]

I thought it was stopped. Stop sticking.

[Ed Gamble]

Stop sticking.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've looked it up, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is gonna blow your mind. Both wrong. Oh, really? We're both wrong and both right. It's stops ticking.

[Ed Gamble]

Your brain stops ticking.

[Matthew Crosby]

So as you can see, that's how I've got to. Sticking is stops ticking. It starts ticking. It stops sticking. Anyway, Phil's on tour.

[Phil Ellis]

You know when you think. Cause this is like lyrics that you've mistaken misheard lyrics, clearly. Yeah, yeah. My favorite was the Flintstones. I used to think it was like, we'll have a do time, a dab a do time. We'll have a day all night.

[Matthew Crosby]

Like that. We'll have a day all night.

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah, because it's like, hey, it's nighttime. Get to bed. But not tonight.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, we're going to have daytime at night.

[Phil Ellis]

Get to work.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were absolute party animals for Flintstones, weren't they? Yeah. Yeah.

[Phil Ellis]

Back in that quarry, Fred.

[Matthew Crosby]

We'll have a day all night. It's the phrase, isn't it? If you want to stay up all night, you'll say, we're going to have a day today.

[Phil Ellis]

Hey, it's your birthday tomorrow. Have a day night. Daddy's drinking. It's 3am It's a day night.

[Ed Gamble]

You seem like a day night kind of person. I've definitely seen you having a day. I mean, obviously the last time I probably saw you was at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Yeah. And you were a man of the day night.

[Phil Ellis]

I was a man of the day night, wasn't I?

[Ed Gamble]

You lived the day night.

[Phil Ellis]

That was when I had some of my best gigs. 4am outside the AS. Everything was like as the cow was deflating on the last day.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Phil Ellis]

The underbelly.

[Matthew Crosby]

I only ever really see you, Phil, in Edinburgh in that sort of. On Blair street, in the sort of. Or Cowgate, in the sort of more dank cobbled areas of Edinburgh, wearing your leather jacket, sort of lurching around in a sort of friendly Jack the Ripper way. I would say. Yeah.

[Phil Ellis]

I like to think of more like a sort of Birkin Hare, you know, like looking for a cadaver.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

But plenty of them.

[Phil Ellis]

Off to sell them to a gentleman with ideas.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And the good thing is, of course, the more cadavers you've got, the more bums on seats at the gig.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because, you know, sometimes, sometimes, you know, it hasn't sold quite as well. Pop a few corpses in there and.

[Matthew Crosby]

You still get your sold out crest. That's the rules. As long as it's 70 full of cadavers, you still get your sold out.

[Phil Ellis]

I'd still kneel next to that chalkboard.

[Matthew Crosby]

With a thumbs up for herself, hands covered in blood.

[Ed Gamble]

So the show is called Bathmat.

[Phil Ellis]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Tell us about the show. Why Bath Mat?

[Phil Ellis]

Well, it's difficult. Well, I was going to call it the Hair Plugs Tour, as if I was trying to save money for hair plugs, but then I thought people might think I've had hair plugs and it's part of. And I'll be talking about my journey.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Not a bad idea for the next show.

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah, well, this. Well, you never know. Maybe it'll happen. Not that. If you're worried about your receding hairline, don't worry about it. Just be yourself and stop telling me I've not got hair.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, no, Phil, you know, last time I spoke to you, you were overjoyed because there was a lot of chat online from Taskmaster fans about you being sexy.

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, that hasn't stopped, really, has it?

[Phil Ellis]

It hasn't. It's got. It's got. It's got more and more intense.

[Matthew Crosby]

Got more intense. You wore a wig on the final episode of Taskmaster and people enjoyed that as well.

[Phil Ellis]

I mean, that's. That's just sent the Internet on fire, isn't it, really?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It was Kim Kardashian popping the cork onto her bum. Then it was you wearing a wig. Those are the two things that have broken the Internet.

[Phil Ellis]

I'm the housewives favorite divorcees. But let this be known, ladies. I will never love another man's child.

[Matthew Crosby]

So.

[Ed Gamble]

Never.

[Matthew Crosby]

Truly. Just to let you know how together we are here at rad. I can see your show's called Bathmat, but only because the original title that was typed down on the sheet has been scribbled out and Bathmat's been written. Initially, we thought the show here at Radiox was called Phil Alice Bath Spa.

[Ed Gamble]

He's doing one. It's a short tour. He's doing one date.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's only doing a more confusing title for a show, I think, than hair plugs.

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah, I mean, I've never. You can tell. I've never been on a spa week. I've used a wet wiping spa to have a quick, quick cat wash before I go back out.

[Matthew Crosby]

Key areas. I would just say key areas.

[Ed Gamble]

The key areas.

[Matthew Crosby]

Key areas.

[Ed Gamble]

Exact.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, your key areas. Phil, would you say the nor. There's the normal ones?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Do you have any extra key areas?

[Matthew Crosby]

The pits and the bits.

[Phil Ellis]

Well, I don't have a key. My mum and dad won't give me one.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, Phil Ellis will be going to all the key areas on his UK tour, which is February to October 2026. And of course, the Soho Theater in December of 2025 this year, 9th to the 13th. Phil elliscomedy.com for tickets, Ed Gamble and.

[Radio X Announcer]

Buck Fifengers, Wizard Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course, we have a welcome for you. A lovely good morning. Can you tell who that is?

[Ed Gamble]

Actually work out who the mystery voice is? Hear it again.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good morning.

[Phil Ellis]

Is this someone I know personally?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, it is. Yes, yes, yes.

[Phil Ellis]

Okay. I'm sorry to get previous guests on the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let's have it one more time.

[Phil Ellis]

One more time, please.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good morning.

[Phil Ellis]

Is that Ian?

[Ed Gamble]

It is.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Ian Smith.

[Phil Ellis]

Do I win?

[Ed Gamble]

Very good.

[Phil Ellis]

Do I win a sellout tour?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, you win a sellout tour. Phil Ellis, Bath Mat touring across the uk. It'll be sold out, guys, because he won the Ian Smith Competition.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you get a load of corpses. Get a load of corpses. So we've got some questions to ask you. Are you the sort of person. Are you the sort of person who gets embarrassed easily? Are you an easily embarrassed person?

[Matthew Crosby]

Person?

[Phil Ellis]

I think I. I probably am, but what I always try and do is get ahead of literally everything before anyone could do it. It's like if I come out on stage, I go, yeah, yeah, I balding. Look at my rubbish clothes. Yeah. I've not got a wife, I've not got any kids. I'm 44. Living room dad. And relax, you.

[Matthew Crosby]

You 8 mile yourself when there's no.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't burn all your material on the show, by the way. Save something for bath, Matt. Of course. Save something for bath. To bath. But is there anything that you. Because we've got this question we ask our. Our guests and our listeners. Is there something, something that you do that shouldn't be embarrassing, but for some reason feels really embarrassing, like stopping to tie your shoes in the street or realizing you're walking the wrong way and having to turn around?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, the classic that we had at lesson Ascend in was having your photo taken in one of those photo booths and your little legs are sticking out the bottom of the curtain. Yeah, you got bastards.

[Phil Ellis]

In fact, I had to ask a man to slightly move his leg on the train today. Oh, yeah, and he was really nice about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And did that embarrass you that he was nice about it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, because for ages I was going.

[Phil Ellis]

When I addressed like an adult, he went, oh, I'm really sorry. He went, you have got long legs. It's quite nice in a way.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Nice little compliment.

[Phil Ellis]

He said, really nice long. I went, all right, mate.

[Ed Gamble]

Moving. I'm moving, mate. Did he adjust his legs and lay his legs over your legs intertwined?

[Phil Ellis]

Did you intertwine, like, carry him up the escut?

[Matthew Crosby]

Big bowl of leg spaghetti.

[Radio X Announcer]

Bill and Matthew, Radio X, Bill Ellis.

[Matthew Crosby]

Look at him over there. Gorgeous long legs.

[Phil Ellis]

Lovely long legs. Hidden sadly.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe the camera's just over there. Do you not want to pop one of your legs?

[Ed Gamble]

Pop a leg up.

[Phil Ellis]

If you want to see the other one, you have to come to the door.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a long leg. I can only dream of legs like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Imagine what the other one's like.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly.

[Phil Ellis]

Leave a little bit of history. Always walking in circles.

[Ed Gamble]

So, Phil, we've got to ask you this. What do you not know what it is?

[Matthew Crosby]

Good question.

[Vin]

It's a good.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a good question. So this is something you might have seen every single day. But the more you think about it, the more you're like, what actually is it? What's a mirror? What is paint? What is the Internet? What do you. Phil Ellis of Taskmaster fame? What do you not know what it is?

[Phil Ellis]

These are hard questions.

[Ed Gamble]

Aren't they tricky? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not afraid to give our guests a grilling.

[Phil Ellis]

All right, okay. What do I not know what it is?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh. Oh, God.

[Phil Ellis]

No. I don't know. I don't leave the house a lot.

[Ed Gamble]

Is there something in the house? Go into your mind palace.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. What's in your house?

[Phil Ellis]

Oh, God. Just cry and chill.

[Matthew Crosby]

Children crying.

[Phil Ellis]

It's me as a child crying. At different ages.

[Ed Gamble]

He's regressed. He said he's. Actually, we're accidentally. No.

[Phil Ellis]

Grandma.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can you take us on a tour? Can you take us on a tour of your front room? What's going on in there?

[Vin]

Front room?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you mean room. Sitting room? The room.

[Phil Ellis]

You got one room.

[Matthew Crosby]

Bed set.

[Phil Ellis]

It's a really tall room. We don't even have a second floor. Okay, I can tell you those. No, I do know what they are.

[Ed Gamble]

Girl. What were you gonna say? Okay, what were you gonna say?

[Phil Ellis]

You didn't follow the love.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil Ellis]

What is it?

[Ed Gamble]

What is love? Baby, don't hurt me.

[Phil Ellis]

There's not enough. Right. Okay, let me think. What do I not know as it. What I just might. I, I. I kind of have an idea what it is, but I don't know how it works or kind of.

[Ed Gamble]

It's up. It's up to you. It's up to you.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've had the middle of a cream egg before.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, what's that?

[Phil Ellis]

Oh, that's a good.

[Sam]

Right.

[Phil Ellis]

These are good. All right, then.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Phil Ellis]

What's the middle? Oh, no.

[Ed Gamble]

The way the questions work. We ask the question and then you give us back.

[Matthew Crosby]

And let you prepare.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Phil Ellis]

Okay. Right, I'm ready now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you want me to ask it again? Phil Ellis. What? Do you not know what it is?

[Phil Ellis]

What is the. What sort of fabric is inside a kangaroo's pouch? Oh, is it fur lined or is it fleshy?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, because we'll never know.

[Phil Ellis]

I mean, not fabrics. Probably not the right word. I mean, I'm just looking at it.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's like a new.

[Phil Ellis]

A new item of clothing.

[Ed Gamble]

How is it upholstered in there?

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? Wallpaper cushion.

[Matthew Crosby]

Like quilted, I'd imagine maybe quil wilted.

[Phil Ellis]

Because. Is it like a nice, fleshy.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it a bit.

[Phil Ellis]

Is it a bit of mucus going on in there.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it like sort of. Is it like the palm of the hand or the inside of the mouth? Yeah, you know, it's a really good way. Is it like sort of, you know, you're, you know, as if you've got two extra arms and you're holding it in like your sort of cupped hands? Joey. Or is it like you pop them inside an organ?

[Phil Ellis]

Yeah, that's. Oh, yeah. Like a bit in Star wars where he gets inside that thing. Yeah. Do you remember that, everyone? Put you right back there, didn't I?

[Matthew Crosby]

But there's only one way to find out. We'll have to try and pickpockets. A kangaroo.

[Ed Gamble]

Gotta steal a jelly stick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Our hand in the pouch.

[Ed Gamble]

That's how Attenborough got started. Just putting his hand into animals, having a rummage around, pulling out what he found and filming it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, well.

[Phil Ellis]

And if you ever. If you ever see a kangaroo in the road, do not stop, keep going, plow through it.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think that's what they tell you.

[Phil Ellis]

That's what they tell you, apparently.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why do they tell you that?

[Phil Ellis]

I mean, no one's told me. I've never been to Australia.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd have to do it in a.

[Phil Ellis]

Zoo to go off road.

[Matthew Crosby]

You see a kangaroo in the zoo, make sure you clap for it.

[Ed Gamble]

So Phil Ellis is on tour in February to October of 2026. He'll be at the Soho Theater in December 2025. Phil elliscomedy.com is where to get the tickets for Bath. Matt, final question. Phil, have you ever had an erection?

[Phil Ellis]

Well, I won't again after this.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, little peek out the window. Look at that. The beautiful plains of the Wild West.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, not. Not in the sky. No, no.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, yes. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no planes in the sky in the Wild West.

[Ed Gamble]

No, of course not.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. Sorry, I'm just. I'm about to play a band who sort of have a lot of Wild west themed.

[Ed Gamble]

Got it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Songs and images, imagery, and even they make some of their guitars sound like neighing horses. What?

[Ed Gamble]

I can't wait for this.

[Matthew Crosby]

The effect on the guitars is sort of like a panicking horse.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, all right.

[Matthew Crosby]

The great band. I can't believe I've not played. I mean, I might have played them before. Don't remember what I did last week.

[Ed Gamble]

It's been. It's been six years of this. Six years.

[Matthew Crosby]

So let's play a little bit of spirit World.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah. It's not quite as country as I Assumed it was going.

[Vin]

Description. It's good, though.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's other songs that are a little bit more country, especially on their new album.

[Ed Gamble]

So they're a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love them so much.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a good. It's a good sound, man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And do they dress. Do they dress like you're going to see a show at Frontier?

[Matthew Crosby]

They dress pretty cool.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because the thing is, you know, you can. You can have the all black cowboy outfit. That's a popular look.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a cool look, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

It's a very Ministry look, isn't it? You know, Anyway, I absolutely adored it.

[Radio X Announcer]

Always with fail, crunch and crumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

We are two old codgers, aren't we?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, we're not.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not too old codgers. We are one and a half old codgers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you accept that I'm in that direction?

[Ed Gamble]

You're heading there, yeah. You're heading there on your mobility scooter. Y In order to turn back time a little bit for myself, I decided to fraternize with some young people.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't fraternize, man.

[Ed Gamble]

In the global building.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just ask them some questions. We recorded it. Don't use things like fraternize.

[Ed Gamble]

I think they're now my friends. No, they are. I've seen some of them I spoke to last week. I've seen some of them cutting about the office.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And you give them 50p, don't you?

[Ed Gamble]

I do. I give them 50p and I clip them around the ears and get out of it. Get out of it. So, yeah, I had a lovely time chatting to Sam. This is Sam, who we spoke to. We. We talked for a long time, Sam and I. So I'd be interested to know which are the highlights You've.

[Vin]

I think Sam was late for a meeting afterwards.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I apologize to Sam, but we were having such a good chat or I was having such a good time talking at him that, that, you know, these things, these things fell by the wayside. But that's all right because it's a lovely chat. Let's hear the first clip Now, Sam, how old are you?

[Sam]

I'm 23.

[Ed Gamble]

You're 23. So what year were you born? Remind us again. 2000. 2002.

[Sam]

2002. September. Yeah. I did my GCSEs the year before.

[Ed Gamble]

COVID So did you do your A levels? Sort of just in the tail end of lockdown, correct?

[Sam]

Yeah. As we were in. As. As we went into lockdown, I was doing it, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I've got to ask, how's your mental health?

[Sam]

Well, it's on an app.

[Vin]

So, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Big question from you there, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Huge question there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you regret asking that immediately?

[Ed Gamble]

I jettisoned our question of do kids WhatsApp in the club and I asked, how's your mental health?

[Matthew Crosby]

I also great interview technique of going, how old are you? 23. What year were you born? 2002. Yes, just to check with him.

[Ed Gamble]

Just to check.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ask him a question, an obvious question that he definitely knows the answer to and we all know the answer to and then answer it yourself and then throw back to him.

[Ed Gamble]

I think sometimes when you hear a 20, hear the, hear the words 23, the number 23, you think, oh yeah, 23. But then you think he was born in 2002. That puts into context for the listener. I stand by both of my questions and I think we've got a really good interview out of it, as you heard just there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, when I HEAR the number 23, I think of Jim Carrey.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course you. Of course you do, because he's 23. Happy birthday, Jim. Anyway, let's hear our next. The next part of our interview with Sam. So as a young person, as a 23 year old, what are the kids up to?

[Sam]

Going to the gym seems to be a thing at the moment. And protein shakes. I think I was the last year where going to the pub at 18 was the thing to do. And then I, because I've got younger cousins that are now, when they hit 18, they were going to the gym and having protein shakes after the gym with their mates. No word of a lie. I was the last, I believe I was the last year. And I think that's a Covid thing as well.

[Ed Gamble]

It's like a social thing for that, you know, they meet all their friends down the gym as opposed to meeting all their friends as I did down the war memorial to drink a bottle of cider.

[Sam]

As in, is that the name of the pub?

[Ed Gamble]

No, we used to. Is this not a thing that kids do these days? Do they not sit by a war memorial? So like in the center of most towns, you've got a memorial to the war dead, right?

[Sam]

Yes. It's like in Hot Fuzz at the water fountain.

[Ed Gamble]

It's exactly like in Hot Fuzz. But when did that movie come out? When was that movie out?

[Sam]

I'd say 2000.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd say 2009.

[Vin]

Right.

[Sam]

No, that's got to be 2012.

[Ed Gamble]

This is quite sort of Slumdog Millionaire, if you remember that film. Do you remember that film?

[Sam]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I'm not gonna lie, the interview tailed off slightly. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It wasn't great stuff that. Also, there was no need for you to define what a war memorial is. I think there was.

[Ed Gamble]

He thought it was the name of a pub.

[Sam]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because obviously because he was down for a bottle of cider at the war memorial.

[Ed Gamble]

But everybody knows about the cider at the war memorial. Thing of a certain generation that's just, you know, that's just shorthand for what's drinking in the town.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think the clear division between our generation and the younger generations is they refuse to act like homeless people on a regular basis.

[Ed Gamble]

Whereas we loved it.

[Matthew Crosby]

We loved it.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, the grunge generation. We dressed like we were homeless and we hung out only on the streets, you know. And of course, when I was. When I was sit by the war memorial, I just remember all my friends just look at all the names and think, yeah, they died in the Somme.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Then you look at your cigarette tin with a bullet hole in it. Thank God.

[Ed Gamble]

This saved my life. Smoking saved my life.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Do you remember the High Street Honeys?

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew, you asked me before the show if you got anything fun from your week.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And yes, I've been touring Europe.

[Radio X Announcer]

You have.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I cannot inflict such glamorous stories on our listeners.

[Ed Gamble]

Where have you been, by the way, just before I get into my. My tale. Where have you been and where you going?

[Matthew Crosby]

Rotterdam. Or anywhere?

[Ed Gamble]

Or anywhere.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, just. Just Rotterdam and Amsterdam. Amsterdam I went to.

[Ed Gamble]

Beautiful. And where have you. Where have you got coming up?

[Matthew Crosby]

Bergen.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oslo. Copenhagen.

[Ed Gamble]

Wunderbar. Wunderbar. Copenhagen.

[Matthew Crosby]

And ending in where everyone ends their international tours. Gibraltar. Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

You're doing a gig inside a rock, aren't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

Inside a cave?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, inside a cave. Not the Rock of Gibraltar, is it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, that's what they call Gibraltar is the Rock of Gibraltar. The whole thing is they call it the Rock.

[Ed Gamble]

So it's not like Uluru. No, it's not like there's not. There's not a separate Rock of Gibraltar.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Ye.

[Ed Gamble]

The whole thing is the Rock.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, they refer to it as the Rock, I believe. A lot like Alcatraz.

[Ed Gamble]

Can you please start your gig by saying, doesn't the Rock look great? Yeah, you've got to do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. We actually had an email from someone who is going to the gig.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, fantastic.

[Matthew Crosby]

And would appreciate that, I think.

[Ed Gamble]

Brilliant. Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

But that would be the only person who appreciates that.

[Ed Gamble]

Maybe don't do the opening line.

[Matthew Crosby]

Doesn't the rock look great? But they'll just think I'm just being nice about where they live.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's true. Nothing wrong with a little bit of local to say, hey, beautiful place.

[Matthew Crosby]

Doesn't the rock look great?

[Ed Gamble]

Doesn't the jib look?

[Matthew Crosby]

There's monkeys there.

[Ed Gamble]

There are monkeys on jib.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's monkeys on jib. You've got to avoid them, though. Oh, chimps aren't pets.

[Ed Gamble]

Guy is. This is the. Are you. Next week you're gonna come back and I'll say what, Tell us some stories if you're tripping.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I'm gonna have a big black veil over my face.

[Ed Gamble]

Big black veil over your face and a big black veil of your crotch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, it's gonna be a sad thing. Anyway, I tried to buy a mattress this week, so. Wow.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wait, you tried to. Yeah, couldn't make it work.

[Ed Gamble]

Couldn't. It turned out that the mattress I wanted, it was a couple of mattresses actually for bunk beds because we're going to try bunk beds for our two little kids. And for some reason when I was buying the bunk bed, you know, sometimes when you're typing into the drop down menu, it will just add like, add an old address for some reason.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right?

[Ed Gamble]

You know that thing. Well, it added my youngest daughter's name. So it was all booked and paid for under my youngest daughter's name. And then they emailed me and said, oh, the mattress isn't available. You know, get in touch with us and could you, could you sort it out which mattress you want to replace it with? Oh, hello, it's Matthew Crosby here. And they said, oh, can we speak to a little Noel Galvan's High Flying Birds? And I said, she's four. And they're like. And they said, well, yeah, we still need to. She's the one who's made the order. She needs to get. No, yeah, we need to get her on the phone. I said, I can get her on the. She's at nursery currently, but I can get her on the phone if you like. And they said, well, could she at least send an email? So I said, yeah, she can do that. And so I sent an email. I had to impersonate a four year old just to get a mattress.

[Vin]

Did you put spelling mistakes in?

[Sam]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, what I did is I did it in cray. Yeah, I took a photo of it, I sent it to them. Please, please, please send, please send Matt. Please send Matt. Yeah, I was explaining to her, oh, it's just, it's just Imagine if she'd.

[Matthew Crosby]

Been there to go on the phone.

[Ed Gamble]

I would have. Do you know what I was. If she had been in the house.

[Matthew Crosby]

You would have put her on the phone.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course I would have done. Some poor. Some poor woman in a call centre. The bed kingdom, having to talk to a four year old.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, the bed kingdom sounds nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'd love to be the monarch of the bed kingdom.

[Ed Gamble]

You basically are, aren't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

That's true.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, you love a nap.

[Matthew Crosby]

I really. The roost.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, if, you know, I've mentioned them on air, they're a wonderful company. That's all I need to do.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X. Dead Boy and Soupy Ghost Snow Patrol.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ed Gambler Matthew Crosby on Radio X. And of course, we did have a little bit of snow last week, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

We did indeed. Especially if you're up in the sort of northerner bits of the country.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no, I saw snow.

[Ed Gamble]

You know what I saw in Beckenham? I couldn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but Beckenham's not the world.

[Ed Gamble]

The kids were. Yeah, no, but I'm talking about what I. I'm talking about what I all. Listen. Hey, All I've got.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did not feel like I was about to give you a snow ecdo.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you got a snow ecdo?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I was staying at my mum's. I went for a run around Wimbledon Common and it was snowing and it was lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's nice.

[Matthew Crosby]

And it made me think, oh, Merry Christmas, everyone.

[Ed Gamble]

A lovely festive run.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Were you wearing your little Santa hat? Of course you did dress.

[Matthew Crosby]

My Santa hat.

[Vin]

Do the Wombles have coats?

[Matthew Crosby]

They do.

[Ed Gamble]

Some of them do, yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Uncle Bulgaria's rocking a.

[Ed Gamble]

He's got a waistcoat, hasn't he?

[Matthew Crosby]

Waistcoat, yeah.

[Vin]

Oh, they've got waistcoats, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Or is Uncle Bulgaria got a smoking jacket and a little pillbox hat?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, they're ready for the weather, I'd say, if we lose a couple every year.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure, sure. Look after. Look after your Wombles, guys.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

If you do. If you do keep Wombles, then remember, you know, don't leave them outside.

[Matthew Crosby]

They do not qualify for the winter fuel allowance.

[Ed Gamble]

They don't.

[Vin]

Could you leave little feeders out for them, you think? Oh, reserves, you know, nuts and berries.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You could actually. And have a little waffle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Copies of Echo Park.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

A little Womble Cam you could have, you know, that'd be good. Why is Bill Oddie not doing that on spring? Watch a little Womble Cam Every. Every time the. The weather gets a little bit.

[Vin]

Well, they don't talk anymore. They fell out, really.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wombles.

[Vin]

Yeah. You work together for someone, you know, with someone that long.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, anyways, as good a time as any to close the show up, I'd say. We'll be back next week.

[Vin]

Get the podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Get. Oh, yes, get the podcast, of course. Because if you enjoyed my chat with Sam, we had a lengthy chat and this will blow your mind. He's never seen an episode of the Simpsons.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right, Well, I can't wait to hear that.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got to listen to that. You'll hear that on the podcast, mate. Stay tuned for Danny Wallace. He's just around the corner. He's absolutely massive. See you soon, folks. Bye.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, there we are, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, indeed. There we are.

[Matthew Crosby]

We did it.

[Ed Gamble]

We did it.

[Matthew Crosby]

We did it.

[Ed Gamble]

We. We did it. Still got to interview Phil Ellis, but I can only assume it went great. We've got so many questions to ask him.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, we do.

[Ed Gamble]

How did we get through them all? Did we get through them all? We all did.

[Matthew Crosby]

Phil Ellis turn up.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, good. Qu. Yeah. Cause he's not in the building now. He's got a.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe he's going to a reunion.

[Ed Gamble]

Maybe he's gone to reunion. There's always, always the whiff of the reunion hanging around for our guests. So Zoe in Glasgow and sometimes Cambridge has got in touch with some young people chat. She says, hi, Crunch and crumble. I'm 20 and feel qualified to answer your texter. What are young people? We charge our phone, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie.

[Matthew Crosby]

We be bisexual and eat hot chip.

[Ed Gamble]

I love it.

[Vin]

That's really funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

We be bisexual around these parts.

[Ed Gamble]

We be bisexual. We charge our phone. We charge our phone, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie. More legitimate answer. I spend my time coming up with witty one liner letterbox reviews, sleeping 10 plus hours a night and being unable to do household chores without listening to a podcast. Well, I've also got.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, same.

[Ed Gamble]

I also listen to Steely Dan and understand what 6, 7 means, which in my opinion is a delicate balance of youth culture and the ancient texts. Lots of love and God bless your cotton socks. Zoe in Glasgow and sometimes Cambridge, mundane celebrity encounter at home. I waitress at Cambridge University and over summer I worked a lunch serving Stormzy and an older lady who kept getting extremely confused every time a new course arrived. The lady in question was in fact Marxist feminist legend Angela Davis.

[Matthew Crosby]

There we go. What a life.

[Ed Gamble]

So there we go. What a pair of. Yeah, who would have imagined? They hung out Anyway, any Beck wrecks have you got any back wrecks this week?

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think so, no.

[Ed Gamble]

That was so strange.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So pain?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I don't think so. I can't remember what I recommended last week. I can't remember what I've watched.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, you've got a lot on your plate. You obviously recommend.

[Matthew Crosby]

I could recommend traveling around Europe. I recommend. I mean, if you. If you're going to Amsterdam, I do recommend the Alchemist Escape room, which is a Sherlocked escape room in the center of Amsterdam. It is the best escape room I've ever done in my life.

[Ed Gamble]

You were telling me about that. Obviously, no spoilers for what's contained within, but it sounds absolutely out of this world.

[Matthew Crosby]

The best production values I've ever seen.

[Vin]

The production value sounded crazy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely crazy. And it's not even a sip of the iceberg. Guys, do you have to. The big things.

[Vin]

Does it cost more to do that than. Than your average escape?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, a little bit more. I'd say it's 100 worth. It's supposed to be minimum three people, but they managed. There's only two of. And they managed to like change it slightly. So two people could do it. It's brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Fantastic. Fantastic. Is Paul your tour manager, is he good and Escape Room?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, he's good and we're a really good team, actually.

[Ed Gamble]

I can imagine he's a problem solver.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, he's very good. Basically, if there's any maths based things.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I'm useless at that. I mean, to be fair, I'm useless at escape rooms. I've told you about how the guy had to come in and basically say, stop taking things apart. Stop taking things off the walls. There's a key.

[Matthew Crosby]

The key, yeah, yeah, Use the key.

[Ed Gamble]

We couldn't get beyond the anteroom.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're the. You're the reason. Well, you're an unc, so you're the reason they have. They have to give a speech at the beginning of every escape room saying, if something's attached to the wall, don't.

[Ed Gamble]

Tear it off the wall.

[Matthew Crosby]

If it's a plug, don't rip the plug off the wall. Although the first escape room I ever did, they were like, don't stick anything in the plug sockets. And then you had to stick something in a plug socket was part of it.

[Ed Gamble]

So I was right, actually, to tear all the stuff off the walls. That was absolutely right to have a full blown panic attack for 45 of the hour this week. I started watching the Chair company, which.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Still not seen that which we have agreed as a couple. Too stressful, Too stressful to watch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Everything's too stressful for your wife, though. Everything's too stressful on telly. She basically just wants Spring Watch, doesn't she?

[Ed Gamble]

So, yeah, she wants the Wombles of Spring Watch. We. Yeah, I found it. It's really, it's really, really good. I've got to like, my, my, my big thing about Tim Robinson is who is he? You know, whenever you watch any sketch with him, you're like, so who are you? And he is playing Tim Robinson and you're like, he's got to a certain level in a company and you're like, how?

[Matthew Crosby]

How?

[Ed Gamble]

I can't get over that. I can't get over that bump of like. Right, you're crackers. Every minor interaction turns into a full blown. Turns into a full blown, like meltdown on your part. How are you the chairman of this company? How is this?

[Matthew Crosby]

I think you've got thinking too much.

[Ed Gamble]

I think I am thinking too much about it. Yeah, it is and it's very, very funny but very, very stressful in a way that I'll definitely watch it on my own.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So that's, that's, that's one for me. What have you got, Vin?

[Vin]

We talked about Begonia, right?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Vin]

You loved it?

[Matthew Crosby]

I loved it, yeah.

[Vin]

Yeah, I absolutely loved it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Ending's really funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I love the end.

[Vin]

Brilliant ending.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it anything like.

[Vin]

Also horrible ending as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Really horrible bit.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it like, sort of like you're laugh Zootropolis, but for both.

[Matthew Crosby]

Funny. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it, Is it about bugs?

[Vin]

Yeah, sort of in the same way like the Matrix is about bugs. Yeah, a bit.

[Matthew Crosby]

I say don't give anything away about it.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't give anything away. Okay, fair enough.

[Matthew Crosby]

I didn't know anything. Going in.

[Ed Gamble]

Great.

[Vin]

And also a moon shaped pool by Radiohead.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, getting back to that one. Can I just say, if not, can.

[Matthew Crosby]

We just say you recommend Radiohead and then you don't need to say it again?

[Vin]

Well, yeah, that's true. I'll keep picking.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I recommend the Benz again this week?

[Vin]

Man? The Benz is good.

[Ed Gamble]

The best album.

[Vin]

Good band.

[Ed Gamble]

They really fell. They really fell off.

[Vin]

Well, that's nonsense.

[Ed Gamble]

They really fell off after the Bench.

[Vin]

Should we listen to this bit of Sam?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, it's here.

[Sam]

Sam, we're still.

[Vin]

We gotta wait for Phil anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

I need a wee. And at the moment there's only one toilet in Radio X and it's miles away, the other side of Leicester Square. It's disgusting.

[Vin]

It got blocked the other day as well. That was a fun day.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course it did. We've got one toilet for this entire building.

[Vin]

So Sam's 23?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Vin]

And he's never seen the Simpsons.

[Ed Gamble]

Vin told me something absolutely wild. You've never seen the Simpsons?

[Sam]

I've never ever watched a full episode of the Simpsons.

[Ed Gamble]

How many Simpsons characters do you reckon you could. You could name Marge?

[Sam]

Homer? Bart.

[Ed Gamble]

It's got two sisters.

[Sam]

Margie.

[Ed Gamble]

You think Marge has called her daughter Margie?

[Sam]

It's the Simpsons.

[Ed Gamble]

Anything could happen. It's actually Maggie, so you're pretty close. Maggie.

[Sam]

Maggie. Oh, yeah, done.

[Ed Gamble]

No, Lisa Simpson.

[Sam]

Which one's that?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's her sister.

[Sam]

That's his sister?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. No, you worked it out. You cracked the coat.

[Sam]

Wait, so Bart's second name is actually Simpson?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. They were called the Simpsons. They were family.

[Sam]

I thought that was just like the breed, like the. The name of the show.

[Ed Gamble]

You thought. What do you mean, the breed? They human beings like Sylvanian.

[Sam]

Families like Sylvanian is the universe, Right?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, Sylvanian just means from nature, doesn't it?

[Sam]

I didn't realize it was their second name.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. So the Simpson. Homer Simpson. Bart Simpson. They're all the Simpsons. But then they also have friends who are not. Whose surnames aren't Simpson. Like principal Skinner or Ned Flanders is his next door neighbor, or Kent Brockman is their newsreader, or, you know, Dr. Nick. Know what his surname is? Nocturnic Rivera. There we go.

[Sam]

I do have one theory about the Simpsons, though, and that's that I like.

[Ed Gamble]

The fact you've never seen it, but you've got theories. This is. This is. You've seen half a clip on TikTok and suddenly you've got your own theory. Let's hear it.

[Sam]

So you know how they seem to predict things that World events that happen, Right. My theory is they don't do that. They just do loads and loads and loads of things. And occasionally, once every couple of years, one of those hundred different things happens and everyone goes, this guy's. He's like, God, whoever promotes it. But they're not. They've just done loads of things that have coincidentally happened. And like Donald Trump getting into president, like, okay, it's not that. Like someone else predicted it, didn't they?

[Ed Gamble]

I would say you're absolutely right. If you're putting out, you know, probably 50ish episodes a year since the late 80s, the chances are you're going to get things wrong, right? Occasionally.

[Sam]

But it's not changed? Is that what you're saying? So they've been on since the 80s, and it's. Nothing's changed.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, they're still, like. They're still all the same age. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but.

[Ed Gamble]

But it would be weird. I don't think you could have a. You don't think you'd have a show where Bart Simpson ages, you know, unless it was completely like a. A brand, you know, unless it was like, you know, they did with young Sheldon. You'd have to do, like, old Bart, but that would be a different thing.

[Sam]

So is there, like, eras. Would you say that there's. There was a decade which was the funniest era because.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, there absolutely is. It's sort of. It sort of middle 90s. Unfortunately for you, it was. Yeah. Starting around series five, up until about series 10, maybe. But they're. They must bond series 308 by now.

[Sam]

But. Okay. But you were clearly born maybe in the late 90s, so are you saying that you.

[Ed Gamble]

Did we get that you're saying you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Were alive in the late 90s?

[Ed Gamble]

Did we get. Oh, you. Right. Sorry. I thought you were saying I was born in the same. I was born in the late 90s. Well, it's been a real pleasure chatting to you. You'll have to pop over one time and do a simple Simpsons marathon with me.

[Sam]

And only if we can do the 80s. Decade. 90s. Decade.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wow.

[Sam]

There we go.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, there's a lot after it, but I'm still thinking about. I thought the Simpsons was the breed.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's the. That's the highlight of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's amazing what people take from the Simpsons if they haven't seen the Simpsons.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

The breed.

[Ed Gamble]

I think this is. This is a new strand now, is talking to young people about TV shows.

[Matthew Crosby]

That they haven't seen in and saying, what do you think it is?

[Ed Gamble]

What do you think Only Fools and Hawkins Horses is? Because it's such an odd title.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

What do you think I need to say? Well, there we go. I'll be. I'll be in next week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

By the way, that mattress story, there was a little. There was a little coder to it.

[Phil Ellis]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I was. I was on the phone to the mattress company in Kingdom. In the bed Kingdom, of course. In one of those little. One of those little booths. You know, those little office booths that are in. In the global building.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And the people from Smooth came to look at what I was doing. I didn't realize this. I was stomping my feet and clapping along to the hold music. I was enjoying it so much. It was proper, like. It was proper like Romper Stompa Hammond organ, you know, like Dr. The Electric Mayhem from the Muppet Show. It was like that kind of music. I got them listening. I mean, the guys at Smooth couldn't believe it. I gave them an earbud each. I was like, hey, have a listen to this fantastic hold music. Good guys over at Smooth. Anyway, when's Phil Ellis.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely your future.

[Vin]

That's a cool story.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd love to be over at.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew is basically gonna. I can't make you still on radio. He's gonna be moving around.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm happy to do it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Job for life, I hope.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, Smooth is there still capital. Gold.

[Vin]

There's gold, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Gold Radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're called Gold Radio. Smooth rebranded Gold Radio.

[Ed Gamble]

Gold Radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Classic fm. Death.

[Ed Gamble]

Death fm.

[Matthew Crosby]

Death fm.

[Ed Gamble]

Death fm.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, Hospital radio from within the bed.

[Ed Gamble]

He's attached to a machine. And that machine isn't microphone. Have a wonderful week, everybody. Have a great time traveling around the world.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you.

[Ed Gamble]

Have a great time. And have a great time wherever you are, folks. See you soon.

[Vin]

Bye.

[Sam]

Bye.