Episode 338 – Ania Magliano / Bog Chupa Chups

Summary

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Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X – Episode 338 Summary

Episode Title: Ania Magliano / Bog Chupa Chups
Date: December 14, 2025
Special Guest: Anya Magliano

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Overview

This week, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby (a.k.a. Crunch & Crumble) deliver their trademark off-beat Sunday radio energy, joined in studio by rising comedy star Anya Magliano. From bizarre email prompts about modes of transport to intensely British self-effacement, the show weaves between loosely structured phone-ins, musical parodies, gentle ribbing about aging, embarrassingly thick listener anecdotes, and a memorable, irreverent interview with Magliano herself.
Topics range from foxes powering tube lines to the etiquette of club toilet attendants, from tracking your own bowel movements to the booming relevance of "Wicked" on TikTok. If you're here for laughs, self-deprecation, and the feeling of hanging out with clever (but never too slick) friends, this is the show for you.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Banter & Audience Email (00:10–05:15)

• Tone: Chilled, self-satirizing “Radio Two” audition vibes.
• The hosts discuss a standout listener email from “Charlie Chalk,” who asks:
  • "What is your main mode of transport and what noise does it go?"
  • "What's the longest you've ever been going in the wrong direction?"
• Quotes:
  • Matthew: “It’s the biggest question in radio!” (01:55)
  • Ed, riffing on London’s Victoria Line: “Driven by two amorous foxes.” (03:16)
• Cycling nostalgia: “Smokey Dokis” and abacuses make a comeback, highlighting the generational divide.

Notable Segment

• Victoria Line foxes: The duo bemoan trying to converse on London’s Victoria Line and concoct a surreal explanation involving amorous foxes powering the train (03:02–03:34).

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2. Matthew’s Parody Song & Comedy on Failure (05:35–11:12)

• Matthew debuts his “Record of the Year” intro, parodying Joe Dolce’s “Shaddap You Face” with a paean to ’90s British rock and parental advice.
• Ed and Matthew launched into a meta-convo about radio show intros:
  • Ed improvises, Matthew preps obsessively.
  • UK comedy’s preference for self-deprecating failure over showy success.

Quotes:

• Ed: “In Britain, no one wants a perfectionist. Everyone wants someone to fall on their bottom into a big plate of pudding.” (11:03)

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3. Boiler Fiascos & Domestic Rage (12:07–18:13)

• Matthew’s tragicomic battle with an overheating central heating system is recounted in detail.
• Ed recounts his own “toxic masculinity” moment—punching a wall to fix a blocked plughole.
• Comedy in the face of homeownership frustration.

Quotes:

• Matthew: “When your kids see Dad tearing the thermostat off the wall in a Christmas jumper… real adolescence type stuff.” (15:22)
• Ed: “If I wanted to know how a boiler works, I’d be doing your job, mate. Badly.” (17:06)

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4. Old vs. Young: ‘Producer John’ Q&A (18:45–24:12)

• Producer John, aged 21, endures light roasting from the hosts about age and young people’s trends.
• Karaoke’s comeback: John’s proposed choices—Skee-Lo’s “I Wish” and Anastacia’s “Left Outside Alone”—are deemed impressively retro.
• A deep dive into clubbing etiquette: cloakroom wifi, bathroom attendants (“bog chupa chups”), and their absurdity.

Quotes:

• Producer John: “You get wifi in the club, of course.” (22:49)
• Ed, on bathroom lollies: “Who’s having a bog chupa chup? ...Absolutely disgusting.” (23:59)

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5. Guest Interview: Anya Magliano (24:38–34:45)

Part 1: Catchphrases, Hairiness, and ‘Peach Fuzz’ (24:38–29:26)

• Anya’s new catchphrase: “Anya Magliano!”
• Discussion of her hairy attire (“covered in hair”—thanks to cats), thick intros, and the meaning behind her stand-up show title Peach Fuzz.
• The perils of telling lengthy “chin hair” stories on stage.

Quotes:

• Anya: “I think the audiences couldn’t stop then looking at [the chin hair] for the rest of the show.” (27:47)
• Matthew: “Have you thought about swinging onto the stage by your own chin hair?” (28:36)
• Ed: “Swing over the top of the audience–a hormonally imbalanced Tarzan!” (28:48)

Part 2: Healthy Eating & Bowels, “Happy Poop” App (30:00–34:45)

• Anya openly tracks bowel movements via the “Happy Poop” app (later revealed to be aimed at young children).
• Explains her sticker chart for eating fewer sweet things—a hilariously British, self-administered “accountability” scheme.

Quotes:

• Matthew: “Are you sure you’re not potty training yourself?” (32:36)
• Ed, worried: “I don’t want to see [Nish Kumar’s] app. His app would blow up. Too many times.” (34:03)

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6. Trends Among ‘The Kids’—Wicked Witch, Mewing, TikTok (36:13–39:50)

• Anya introduces “Madame Morrible/Wicked Witch” hand-signs, a Gen Z trend inspired by the musical “Wicked”’s TikTok popularity.
• Mewing (jaw exercises) gets a mention, with the hosts comedically comparing jaws and referencing Dr. Mew.
• Anya describes generation-specific memes and inside jokes, leaving Ed and Matthew both befuddled and amused.

Quotes:

• Ed: “Borrow modern parlance: I think this generation’s cooked.” (37:03)
• Anya: “You guys need to go into a home.” (39:24)

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7. Thickmas: Listener Fails Hall of Fame (41:17–48:28)

• The annual quest for the “12 Days of Thickmas” continues—listeners submit stories of their own thickest, most absent-minded moments.
  • Examples include: bringing a TV remote to school, mistaking an airline mattress for a blanket, and failing to notice a burning apartment.
  • Ed and Matthew offer relentless mockery, never veering into cruelty.

Quotes:

• “We’re a couple of kooks, and everyone listening is an absolute thicko. We know that all of you out there in Radio land are dumb as mints.” – Ed Gamble (41:17)
• “Don’t walk into anything that looks like a human.” – Matthew Crosby (46:59)
• “They’re not paramedics for fire… They’re fire killers.” – Ed Gamble on ‘fire ambulances’ (48:28)

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8. Music, Recommendations, and Outro (49:52–55:09)

• Praise for Anya Magliano—a “truly unique comic”, touring in early 2026.
• ‘Beck Recs’: music and comedy picks, including Jim Gaffigan’s bourbon-themed special and tracks from Emerald Fennell’s “Wuthering Heights” project.
• Finale: warmth, gratitude, and a signature rambling, anticlimactic wrap-up.

Quotes:

• “I would love hair that just controlled itself into different styles… basically got flubber for hair.” – Ed Gamble (51:08)

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Notable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Victoria Line foxes: 03:16–03:34
• Matthew’s ‘Shaddap You Face’ parody intro: 05:35–07:30
• Comedy of failure in the UK: 11:03–11:12
• Boiler destruction story: 12:44–15:28
• Ed: “Who’s having a bog chupa chup?” 23:59
• Anya, on generation-specific TikTok memes: 36:48–39:24
• Listener: used TV remote at school, got punished: 42:05–42:46
• Listener: mistook airplane mattress as blanket: 43:59–45:05
• Listener: completely ignored an apartment on fire right outside: 47:08–48:50
• Outro praise for Anya Magliano: 49:57–50:44

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Memorable Quotes

• Ed Gamble:
  “In Britain, no one wants a perfectionist. ...Everyone wants someone to fall on their bottom into a big plate of pudding.” (11:03)
• Anya Magliano:
  “I think the audiences couldn’t stop then looking at [the chin hair] for the rest of the show.” (27:47)
• Producer John:
  “You get wifi in the club, of course.” (22:49)
• Matthew Crosby:
  “Are you sure you’re not potty training yourself?” (32:36)
• Ed Gamble:
  “Don’t walk into anything that looks like a human.” (46:59)

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Language & Style: Self-deprecating, whimsical, sharply observational, gently anarchic.
• Vibe: Like a “proper weekend breakfast show… but presented by two comedians with relatively little radio experience” (and all the better for it).
• If you missed it…
  This episode features affectionate ridicule, inter-generational confusion, and a window into both British comedy neuroses and emerging youth trends.
  The highlights are (as ever) the hosts’ bickering, deadpan exchanges, and Magliano’s refreshingly candid comedic style. Whether you’re here for offbeat wisdom, tales of failure, or simply a reminder to “never eat a bog chupa chup,” this one is vintage Crunch & Crumble.

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For More

• Anya Magliano Tour: (February–June 2026) Tickets at anyamagliano.com (the catchphrase, “dot com”)
• Tune in live on Radio X, Sundays, 8–11am, or catch the podcast for uncensored extras.

Transcript

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the podcast of the radio show, the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. That's me and that's him over there.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, wow. This is very chilled out.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's very relaxed, isn't it? Very, very relaxed. Well, this is. This is the new me.

[Ed Gamble]

Are we making a pitch to be on radio too?

[Matthew Crosby]

This is what I'm going for. You know, you've got to think about the long game. Yeah, obviously, we're young kids now. We're on Radio X. The young kids listen to Radio X. But in the long term, yeah, what you want to do is something a bit. Bit more Michael Ball.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And actually we've got a lovely. We've got a lovely email in from a darling listener who says, don't you miss Captain Tom? And I really do. I really do. And thank you, darling. Thanks for sending that in anyway. But, yeah, we've. No, we actually do have a. This is a great. This is a great email. Yeah, I really love this. This. Every single line of this is good stuff for me. It's from Charlie Chalk. Straight away, I'm happy with that. Dear Matty Spaghetti and the Eddie Weddy Freddie Medley.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely, lovely.

[Producer John]

Sure.

[Matthew Crosby]

No idea. No, no idea. Well, actually, I do an Italian intro.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you do.

[Matthew Crosby]

So Matty Spaghetti couldn't be my Joe Dolce tribute act too.

[Ed Gamble]

That's your Joe Dolce tribute name. Matty Spaghatti.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really offensive. Somebody touched my spaghetti.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, texture idea. What is your main mode of transport and what does it go. But I like that. You know what?

[Ed Gamble]

This is Mick Chen.

[Matthew Crosby]

It does read like Mick Chen, doesn't it? This is. It's Mick Chen coded. No, this is Charlie Chalk. Of course, a very different person to Mick Chen.

[Ed Gamble]

It's Mick Chen.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Mick Chen. What is your main mode of transport?

[Ed Gamble]

What's your main mode of transport?

[Matthew Crosby]

And what noise does it go? For example, I get the train and it goes. So, Ed, I've got to ask. I've got to ask you.

[Ed Gamble]

So, okay, I've got to ask you.

[Matthew Crosby]

The biggest question in radio. We can ask Anya when she comes in.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the thickest email we've ever had.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's why I love it. Yeah, there's been some nice ones about. Oh, someone saw you in Gibraltar. Very, very nice. Someone said, oh, you know, I'd like Kathy. Kathy Rivet's comedy, all that kind of stuff. All nice, all nice emails.

[Ed Gamble]

But this, who gives?

[Matthew Crosby]

Who cares?

[Ed Gamble]

Right, what's your Main mode of transport and what noise does it go? Theirs is the train and it goes.

[Matthew Crosby]

If that doesn't work, what about. What's the longest you've ever been going in the wrong direction? Charlie Chalk. Charlie.

[Ed Gamble]

Two great questions.

[Matthew Crosby]

The first one is really good, though, Ed, what do you think is your main mode of transport and what noise does it go?

[Ed Gamble]

So when you say main mode of transport, is it the one I like the most or is it the one I'm on the most?

[Matthew Crosby]

Dealer's choice.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. Because the one I'm in the most is probably maybe the tube.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So, like.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Or certain lines.

[Ed Gamble]

Victoria Line at the top between Walthamstow and we're looking at Finsbury Park.

[Matthew Crosby]

Try and have a conversation on the Victoria Line.

[Ed Gamble]

I wouldn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

You wouldn't. You just can't. You just can't do it. Do you know what I have to do after WhatsApp? After what's happened after WhatsApp on the line?

[Ed Gamble]

If I'm on the Victoria Line with my wife, as happens regularly.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

We both feel. Obviously we're not putting headphones on. No. Because we're married.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's rude. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But we do just sit there in pained silence as we both wince.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just sort of looking at each other's faces and changing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Intense.

[Ed Gamble]

And you know what that is because Victoria Line is driven by two amorous foxes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that what it is?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cause I thought. This is. I thought, surely you can just get a bit of WD40 and spritz the track or something, but now I know.

[Ed Gamble]

You'D be spritzing a fox's nethers now.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know it's being powered by foxes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's an. That's a horrible sound, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, goodness.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know the crazy thing about foxes having sexes? Hate the sound. Love the view. That's why square. That circle. I can't get. I mean, I watch. I watch it on YouTube with the sound off because I can't get enough of it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, my gosh. Foxy for a reason. But anyway, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

When I hear a fox having sex, I say, keep it down. You wake the wife up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, this is. This is all lovely stuff. And radiator are not coming knocking. They're not coming knocking. Main mode of transport for me. For me, it's train. So it's. I love it. I love the train.

[Ed Gamble]

Ideally, my. My favorite mode of transport. Bullet train or electric car. Oh.

[Matthew Crosby]

Almost soundless.

[Ed Gamble]

Almost soundless. Or silent, as most people would say.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, I like to mix it up a little bit. John, what's your favorite mode of transport?

[Ed Gamble]

Main. Main mode.

[Matthew Crosby]

Main mode. Sorry. What's your main mode of transport? And what noise does it go?

[Producer John]

It's my bicycle.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Here we go.

[Producer John]

And it's not very well maintained.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Producer John]

So it's sort of.

[Ed Gamble]

It's good for the noise.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you got Smokey Dokies because you are young, do you remember Smokey Dokies?

[Producer John]

Is that.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you put a playing card in the.

[Producer John]

Yeah, we used to.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Producer John]

Get a bit plastic or.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Producer John]

Cardboard box. I should do that again, maybe.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you should do that.

[Producer John]

Think about that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Smokey Dokis were little plastic things that like. Like the things you get on an abacus. You remember abacus, right? Remember abacus is right.

[Ed Gamble]

God. This is your new question for young people. Do you remember the abacus?

[Matthew Crosby]

Remember the abacus? Do you remember Smokey Lokis in the abacus? And you would put them on the. On the little sort of struts of the. Of the wheel. And they go up and down as you. As she cycled and made a fun.

[Producer John]

A cool noise.

[Matthew Crosby]

A cool noise. Thanks for humoring me. Should we crack on with the show?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Good show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good show.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I don't know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Half a good show. Yeah, yeah, we've done half. It's been good. Well, you're done.

[Ed Gamble]

And half of it was good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a quarter good so far. Guaranteed a quarter.

[Matthew Crosby]

Guaranteed a quarter. Good show. Enjoy it, folks.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Brady O X. Hello, this is Matthew Crosby and this. This is my record of the year. One, two, three. Catoze. When I was a child a hundred years ago, Mama locked me in my room and said, listen to rock and roll. You can't go out and try to make yourself a friend Till you've heard the bends. Blur and Super Grass Pulp, Oasis 2, My Chemical Romance and Weezer's album Blew. Fresh air would hurt my lungs. The sun gave me a shock. I was a slave to rock. And Mama used to say, you can't go to the pub, you can't go to the gym. Just sit in your room and listen to urban hymns. You'll never make any pals, you'll never have any sex. But you'll work for Radio X. A very good morning to you. Anya Magliano is on the show and we'll be finding out how thick you are. But first, a little bit about the song we're about to play. In 1995, Oasis were number one. The song was Some might say off their second album. The A side was quite good, but the B side was the best. It was called Acquiesce, and we'll play it in just a minute. But first, here's my mama's advice. Don't go to the caf. Don't go for a ramble. Just stay in your gaff and listen to Crosby and Gamble. Never leave your place. Shut up, you stupid face. Now here's Oasis, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew Crosby and Edward Radio X.

May I say, Matthew, that intro is some of your finest work. It's about time someone did a parody of Shut up your Face by Joe Dolce, which is, of course, our tip for Record of the Year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's right. If you're voting for Record of the Year, we would like you to. I mean, we don't want to. We don't want to cook the books too much, but we personally will be voting for.

[Ed Gamble]

I am happy to cook at the books.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're happy to cook at the books? Yeah. I didn't. I decided I made the artistic choice of not doing a cod. Italian accent, and that's fine. I think that's the way to, you know, in 2025. That's correct.

[Ed Gamble]

I think if you want to make it less funny, then by all means don't. And that's all right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's like, I would prefer to be slightly less funny and slightly less cancelable.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think the Italian accent is within the cancell.

[Matthew Crosby]

In that case, why didn't Mario have it in the movie?

[Ed Gamble]

Because it was Chris Pratt.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So get an Italian guy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, this is it. They wanted to get.

[Ed Gamble]

They wanted Joe Dolce.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get Joe Dolce to play Mario. Oh, it's. You know what the great thing about. About my yesterday was? I listened to. I mean, my Spotify rap for next year is gonna be all Joe Dolce. Cause I listened to that to get myself into the mindset of Joe Dolce. I listened to that song over and over again.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course you did. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then eventually the lyrics about, you know, My Chemical Romance appeared to me.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought it was fantastic. You know what? It really shores up this dynamic we have where you listen to a song over and over again. You write parody lyrics.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

You rehearse it. You're rehearsing it before we go on air. I see you mouthing it to yourself. And then when it's my turn for the intro, I just turn up and try and riff something and it all falls apart.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. I know. You know, I'm very happy with that dynamic.

[Ed Gamble]

That's funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'd say. Yeah, that's the thing. I do tons of prep and I occasionally am as good as you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because Matthew, no one likes a dweeb.

[Matthew Crosby]

No one likes a. A little Point Dexter, a little Professor McBoth sitting in the corner with his notepad.

[Ed Gamble]

And I wish you could be in the studio where Matthew's doing the intro because he's trying so hard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

The face is so serious.

[Matthew Crosby]

I get really serious before you get.

[Ed Gamble]

Really upset with yourself if you mess it up.

[Matthew Crosby]

I get so upset with myself. I'm trying, you know, I'm working with the help of a therapist and friends on self acceptance, but it's just not coming.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I'm not one of those friends you're working with.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no. I think that's the reason. I think Sunday mornings are the reason. I don'. Self acceptance because I sit for three.

[Ed Gamble]

Hours with you because here's my opinion on self acceptance.

[Matthew Crosby]

What is it?

[Ed Gamble]

Don't accept failure. Okay.

[Anya Magliano]

Ah.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's your level of self acceptance.

[Ed Gamble]

So if you.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you do it well, if you.

[Ed Gamble]

Mess something up, you gotta think about that for a while so you don't do it again.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, well, mission accomplished.

[Ed Gamble]

No self acceptance, please. And why Matthew? I'll say it.

[Producer John]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Why would you accept yourself?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no. This is undoing so much therapy. Oh, my God. It's really. But no, this is true. I still think about intros that went wrong. Yeah, There are loads of them. Most of them, I would say.

[Ed Gamble]

Most of them. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Most of. Most of my intros have gone wrong. Especially when I try and sing a song on the radio at 8 in the morning on a Sunday.

[Ed Gamble]

Wasn't there a Black Beauty one you really messed up?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, Black Beauty. Yeah. Black Beauty was really tough. I sent the wrong audio file.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I didn't. It was the. It was a different bit of the verse and. Oh, it was so bad.

[Ed Gamble]

You know what I think about my intros that have gone wrong and go. They were good.

[Matthew Crosby]

They were good.

[Ed Gamble]

They were funny. I really landed on my feet with those ones.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you lean into the failure of it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Then you can't fail.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Whereas I really want to do a really good job. But weirdly, the really good job I want to do, I mean, who is it for? Like, who's going, oh, thank God, 2025. He's doing a Joel Dulce parody. Who am I doing it for?

[Ed Gamble]

Me.

[Matthew Crosby]

You? Yes, obviously you. Yeah, but then you prefer it when I fail.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, that's true.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it's.

[Ed Gamble]

And I prefer it when I fail. Because we're in Britain, Matthew. No one wants a perfectionist. No, everyone wants someone to fall on their bottom into a big plate of pudding.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Everybody wants a big blanchi bottom. Yes. That's what we're after. That's what we're after in Britain. We don't want to try hard. Do you know what try hard is? Cringe.

[Ed Gamble]

And are you going to try and link Blamonji bottom into the next song?

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm not going to even talk about her bottom. It's Florence and the Machine with Sympathy.

[Ed Gamble]

Magic Bill and Matthew.

Radio X Block Party on Radio X. It said gamble, lads, come on. They always do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

They do, don't they?

[Ed Gamble]

They just turn off the app. Come on, move on, guys.

[Matthew Crosby]

The song is. The song is beautiful, right? There's no denying it. But which Jamoka said, I tell you what we should do at the end of the song.

[Ed Gamble]

A load of old faff. That sounds like a trapped parrot.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, do they have to hit a certain. Is it like when you've got to hit a word count or something like that? Do they have to, like, we can't play it on the radio unless it's four seconds longer.

[Producer John]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know. Just. Yeah, that'll do. That'll do.

[Ed Gamble]

Make the font bigger or something.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just absolutely, yeah. Anyway, listen, I've got to tell you about my boiler.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got to tell me something about your boiler. And let me tell you, when you arrive to do the radio, Matthew says, don't worry about today's show. I've got a story about my boiler.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't do this.

[Ed Gamble]

No, this is gonna be an all time classic. Alert the awards panels.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've done me up here. You really have. Cause we were saying, ah, we got anything to chat about on the show? And I said, oh, yeah, I've got a story. I didn't come in singing this story's praises. I just came in and said, look, it's gonna be fine. I'll talk about my boiler.

[Ed Gamble]

You ran up to me in the office. You ran up to me sweating and panting. You're like. It's like you've been here all night planning this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you know why I was sweating and panting? I'll tell you why I was sweating and panting.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

I will tell you why I was sweating and panting. It's because my boiler, right, is broken. But the other way. We can't turn it down.

[Ed Gamble]

It's too boiling.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's too boiling.

[Ed Gamble]

That's awful.

[Matthew Crosby]

So we've. So, right, this weekend we were going to the Christmas fair, right, the Christmas fair at our local school. We're all getting dressed up.

[Ed Gamble]

Did you open this fair?

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you know what? I didn't get asked to open the fair.

[Ed Gamble]

Who opened it?

[Matthew Crosby]

And in fact, no one. Just like one of the pta. No one of the PTA just must have unlocked the gate and just, you know, gone up to a trestle table and sat down and said, you know, come on in.

[Ed Gamble]

I bet it was a guy from Motherland again, if it was put.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen. Right. Because for the. Listen. Who doesn't realize what's going on here. The. The.

[Ed Gamble]

Which is most of them all of the time, even if they listen every week.

[Matthew Crosby]

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked. Was asked for the third time to open the. The Greener and Cleaner Hub in Bromley. It's a wonderful. A wonderful local charity, environmental charity. I was asked to open their Christmas fair. I do the Saturday. Paul Ready from Motherland, does the Sunday.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, he's always ready.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's always. He's always ready. And crucially as well, they don't think they're going to attract enough of a crowd just with me. And they were right. Nobody showed up. I got a DM a couple of weeks ago saying, oh, I tried to. I tried to find it, but I couldn't. I got lost in the shopping center. From one of our listeners. So there was one guy who was there trying to find it, wandering around, wandering around looking for Colonel Kurtz. Just, you know, just didn't know what was going.

[Ed Gamble]

You shouldn't have dressed as Colonel Kurtz.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was the problem as well.

[Ed Gamble]

But it'll grow back.

[Matthew Crosby]

Shaving my head and lying there and eating fruit. The problem is we've got very thick listeners. So even when I say, come along, I'll be in the Glades Shopping Centre at the Greener and Cleaner Hub. Very, very clear. All the instructions are there.

[Ed Gamble]

A lot of them went to the Everglades.

[Matthew Crosby]

A lot of them. A lot of them were still. Yeah, still traveling around Fern Gully. Anyway, dear. So we're getting ready. We're getting ready and I feel like a bit warmer in the house than it wants to be. Right, Isn't it? I check the boiler. It's locked at 23 degrees. Right? That's. You know, we've got our. We've got.

[Ed Gamble]

Even in the dead of winter. I do not want 23.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no. I never want it to be 23. It's locked in at 23. So I'm getting the kids ready. I'm really. I've got a thick Christmas jumper on. I'm sweating, I'm sweating. Try and turn it down, go on. You know, it's like one of those nest, you know, thermostat things. Try and turn it down. Eventually I do what any self respecting person would do and I rip it off the wall. Always, always good to see. You know, that's the spirit of Christmas, isn't it? When your kids.

[Ed Gamble]

Toxic masculinity.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. When your kids see the dad tearing the thermostat off the wall in a Christmas jumper. You know, it's real, it's real adolescence type stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

I remember when our plug hole was blocked in our bathroom so I just punched a hole in the wall.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we'.

[Ed Gamble]

We're getting two links out of the boilers.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're getting two links out of it, apparently. All right, well let's do it. This is Riptide Vance Joy here on Radio Export Boiler Chat. After this, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the Radio X heyday.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, listen, we got a guy round to fix.

[Ed Gamble]

This is your boiler. Your boiler broke. You ripped the whole thing off the wall.

[Matthew Crosby]

I ripped the thermostat off the wall. I mean it's fine. You can rip a nest thermostat off.

[Producer John]

The wall and you're fine.

[Anya Magliano]

Sure.

[Ed Gamble]

They're not actually plugged into the wall so.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no they're not. Just tear it off and. And then a guy came round and it was one of these. It was like, I mean, brilliant. The guy was amazing. He fixed it really, really quickly. But he felt the need and I feel like we need to have some sort of code here where you. I mean maybe it's. Maybe I should use the phrase I work in the arts or something. But he felt the need to explain to me what he was doing.

[Ed Gamble]

Ah yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

He kept me in the room the whole time. Cause he was like, oh, you just stay here cause you can use the app and we'll just check it on the app. And every step of the way he said now what I'm doing here is.

[Ed Gamble]

To an extent I appreciate transparency. Especially when people are working in things that I don't understand. Yes, because you worry that you're being fooled a lot of the time maybe.

[Matthew Crosby]

And he didn't charge me a lot of money. He charged me the call out fee and that was it.

[Ed Gamble]

There we go.

[Matthew Crosby]

So there we go.

[Ed Gamble]

So he's clearly a very conscientious boiler man. Yes, but I agree. I've got no idea. If I wanted to know how a boiler works, I'd be doing your job, mate.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

Badly.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, totally. And this is not something where, like, now it's. Even if I had written everything down that he'd said, yeah, when it. When it breaks again, he's getting another call. Of course, there's no way I'm going to be able to go, oh, thanks to all those things you said. Yeah, I was talking to. I was talking to Josh about this, Josh Whitaker about this, and he said, and I think this is weirder, he said, oh, I filmed them.

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I said, what do you do in that instance? Oh, I just. I say, is it all right if I film you while you're telling me this? And I said, that's weird.

[Ed Gamble]

That's how porno smarts. Exactly.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's coming to fix the boiler. I can help you with your plunger, mate. Yeah, that's.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, you're gonna get your big tool out.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's too rude, actually.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, right.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's too rude for a Sunday morning. I'm so sorry, everybody. It's also too rude to Josh.

[Ed Gamble]

It's very hot in here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very hot in here. Maybe I want a fit of your dungarees. He wasn't wearing dungarees. He was in a boiler suit. Of course he was. Anyway, I've got. It's all sorted now, so thank you very much to that lovely man.

[Ed Gamble]

All you will say is, look, what's a too hot make cold?

[Matthew Crosby]

Too hot make cold.

[Ed Gamble]

No more.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Too hot make clement. That's all I want. That's all I'm after. Right, coming up in just a little bit. Well, we've got producer John here. Producer John is here. We haven't got producer Vin because he's off seeing his favorite band, Radiohead in Berlin, even though he's talking twice.

[Ed Gamble]

Twice in London.

[Matthew Crosby]

Twice in London.

[Ed Gamble]

They're not gonna do it in German.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why's he gonna not do it? They're not gonna do any. I mean, yeah, sure, they might do one of the other differences. They all sound the bloody same. Come on, let's be honest here. Let's be honest here.

[Ed Gamble]

Why be miserable somewhere else?

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Anyway, we've got John here. He'. Person. I can ask you some young person questions. So that is coming up in just a little bit.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

Boy, do we feel good.

[Matthew Crosby]

We certainly do.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, we do. And we. We feel great. But we are old, Matthew, Crucially, we're very old. Well, I'm in my 30s. Of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, yes, yes, you're in your 30s for three more months.

[Ed Gamble]

Three, four. I'd say four.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're gonna have four.

[Ed Gamble]

It is four.

[Matthew Crosby]

Four more months. Yeah, yeah, okay, four months. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, December to January, January to February. February took three.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is three months. Listen, but no, if you.

[Ed Gamble]

I get mixed up with numbers sometimes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. They're really confusing, aren't they? I tell you what, that boiler man, he said a few numbers. Yeah. Couldn't Hear a word.

[Ed Gamble]

Three more months until I'm 30.

[Matthew Crosby]

Three more months until you're 30 years old. Exactly right. But John. John, Producer John is here in lieu of producer Vin. What?

[Ed Gamble]

John's in the loo?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Vin's in the loo. Jon's here now. He's on the eighth floor. He heard about the eighth floor. He thought, I've got to go and take a dump up there. Of course I have. How old are you?

[Producer John]

21.

[Matthew Crosby]

21. Wow, that is young.

[Ed Gamble]

That's mad.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't believe we've known you all this time and I've never realized you're as young as 21. I would have placed you at 23, 24. Because you've got a maturity about you.

[Ed Gamble]

And because you are doing quite an important job.

[Matthew Crosby]

And doing it very well.

[Ed Gamble]

And doing it very well. You're doing very well for yourself.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're doing. You're doing it better than any of the. The proper grown ups who do this job. So you're doing. You're doing very, very well.

[Ed Gamble]

What was I doing at 21? Nothing like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, no, nothing. I didn't do anything. I was gonna say I didn't do anything important until. But I've never done anything important.

[Ed Gamble]

No, that's true.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think. When was I ever doing anything grown up and proper?

[Ed Gamble]

Just graduated.

[Producer John]

Can I say something cruel?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, God, be cruel. Please be cruel to us.

[Producer John]

I was born in 2004.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, my God. That was. That to me is a. Is recent.

[Ed Gamble]

That is recent.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a recent year, right?

[Ed Gamble]

No, the most recent year is 2009.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's. That's true. That's true. That's the.

[Ed Gamble]

For me, you know.

[Matthew Crosby]

For you. For you. That's the most. Most recent year. If someone said I was watching a film from 2004, I wouldn't say, oh, an old film.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll go, oh, not seen that one.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't wait.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it still in the cinema?

[Matthew Crosby]

Still get around to it. We've got to ask You. Because we love to chat to old. We love to young people as old people. What are the kids up to? What are you and your. And your fellow 21 year olds? What are you up to at the moment?

[Producer John]

I think karaoke.

[Matthew Crosby]

Karaoke's back. Is it?

[Producer John]

I think it might be because I've now been invited to two karaoke things in the next few months and I've never done karaoke before.

[Ed Gamble]

You've never done. Well, this is. This is important. This is a whole other link. We've got to work out what your song's gonna be.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've gotta work out what your song. Do you have an idea of what you think you might sing? Have you got a plan?

[Ed Gamble]

And it doesn't. Look, I know you're on Radio X. I know you're working for the global corporation. It doesn't need to necessarily be on the Radio X playlist.

[Producer John]

So I think I want to do I Wish by Skeelo.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Producer John]

And also left Outside Alone by Anastasia.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, my.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a big song.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a hu. You need a pair of lungs on that.

[Producer John]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But also with Anastasia, crucially, you've got. Everyone recognizes Anastasia's voice. So you can hear the parody.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You know?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. That's what you.

[Ed Gamble]

I think that's a great choice, John, for somebody who's never done karaoke before.

[Matthew Crosby]

And those are two songs that were released before you were born.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, this is true. They are old songs to you.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're old songs here. They're pre John songs. Yeah. That's huge. So why you. Why is karaoke suddenly popped up? Who are these mates who are suddenly encouraging you to do karaoke?

[Producer John]

My friend Hollywood, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Holly. Yeah.

[Producer John]

Merry Christmas. 20. What? 22. I don't actually know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

All right.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't have to give Holly's Age out on the air. That's fine. You don't have to worry about. Worry about that. So this is a birthday party.

[Producer John]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. Okay. If it gets a little bit loud at the karaoke party, will you be whatsapping in the club? If you can't. If you can't hear what each other are saying because the song's so loud, someone's belting out some.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew's obsessed with this, by the way. He's obsessed with this. Yeah. It hurts.

[Producer John]

It's crazy. Because you wouldn't WhatsApp someone because there's no service in the club. So you'd get your phone out.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. The first question you ask is, where's the cloak room? And what's the wifi class. That's the first few things you ask. If you're going to the club, you.

[Producer John]

Get WI fi in the club, of course.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course. You search for nightclub. Free.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Or nightclub. And then the password will be something like cool party or rock and roll, boys and girls, listen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Or you befriend the management and you get to use nightclub staff.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's.

[Producer John]

That's what you really want.

[Ed Gamble]

I have another question about the club.

[Producer John]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

When you go to the toilet, is there a man there with a range.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of fragrances and a range of slogans?

[Ed Gamble]

And a range of slogans, none of which we can say on the radio?

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Producer John]

I find it 5050 these days, really. Try and avoid the man.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You've got to avoid the man.

[Producer John]

Don't want the man.

[Ed Gamble]

I think the man started Covid because I think people weren't washing their hands because they wanted to avoid the man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. The amount of times I haven't washed my hands to avoid the man. I mean, I do feel sorry for the man because that's not a great job, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, but that to me, he's not been employed by the club, he's just turned up with a sack of stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

You think he's just a punter, just.

[Ed Gamble]

Desperate for a quid in an ashtray or whatever he's got.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you think that the bouncers are going through people's pack and going, you have got so many bottles of joop in here, there's no way we're letting you in.

[Ed Gamble]

We know what you're up to.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, you've got a bag full of dupe and chupa chups. You're not coming. That's. Who's having. Who's having a bogchuppa chup?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Nobody. Have you ever had a bog chupa chup?

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely not.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. No one's touching those. Absolutely disgusting.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a good new question for young people.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you having a bug chopper trip?

[Ed Gamble]

Have you ever had a bog chopper trip?

[Matthew Crosby]

Final question. Should I get bigger trousers?

[Ed Gamble]

Let me have a look.

[Producer John]

No, you're absolutely fine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you very much.

[Ed Gamble]

Are we playing the I'm a celeb?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, this is Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby Daverau's not about to eat a witch de grub. This is simply for the devil. Rolling Stones, Radioactive.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Do you remember the High Street Honeys?

[Matthew Crosby]

We are delighted to be joined by our only scoop for Daddy, our only guest of the show, it's the wonderful Comedian Anya Magliano. Anya Magliano, yes, indeed. Well recognized. That's how famous you are. Now you even recognize yourself. Yeah, you're always getting star spotted. But it's by you.

[Anya Magliano]

It's by me and you.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you ever said your own name on the radio before?

[Anya Magliano]

No, I tried it out. I thought maybe it could be my new catchphrase.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a good catchphrase.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a good catchphrase, isn't it?

[Anya Magliano]

My own name.

[Matthew Crosby]

So if people saw you in the street, what do you want them to do? To sort of, you know, unlock the catchphrase? Do you want them to say Anya Magliano to you and you say it back, Anya Magliano? Or do you want it to be.

[Ed Gamble]

Shouldn't say, who's that?

[Anya Magliano]

I think they should pull a gun.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, let's not have that. Let's not encourage people doing that. I'm so sorry.

[Anya Magliano]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

With their fingers.

[Anya Magliano]

With their fingers.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the end of the interview. Anya. I'm so sorry. Anyway, we've got. We're gonna have to fill a few more links now because we have to take care of. Anya is an edgy. Edgy comedian.

[Anya Magliano]

My new is that I'm an edgy.

[Ed Gamble]

Comedian and you say you're unname.

[Anya Magliano]

And I'm covered in hair.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, so you're an edgy comedian and you're covered in hair.

[Anya Magliano]

I think it's from my cats. Do you get that with your cats?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, all the time. I mean, you can see this today. I've got my black jumper on. So it's just constantly. Constantly got hair on me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. Me too. But you know what? They're so smooshy. They're too smooshy.

[Anya Magliano]

That's awful.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're so smooshy.

[Ed Gamble]

Matty's also got very hairy children.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got incredible. But they're so smooshy. I've got an absolute Ewok family. I have. I really do.

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, God.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, well, you know what your show title is Hair Related.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Anya Magliano]

And has this all been planned all along?

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you been planned?

[Ed Gamble]

Your name is on the show title. In a way.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's your catchphrase.

[Ed Gamble]

You got your catchphrase and your Magliano, of course. Say it for us one more time.

[Anya Magliano]

Anya Magliano.

[Ed Gamble]

And the show is called Peach Fuzz.

[Matthew Crosby]

Peach Fuzz. Tell us.

[Anya Magliano]

I'm not saying that. That's not part of my catchphrase.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you refuse to say the title of your show, do you Say it during the show.

[Anya Magliano]

No, no, I, I, you don't end the show again.

[Matthew Crosby]

And that's when I realized we're all peach fuzz.

[Anya Magliano]

No, but can I have that?

[Ed Gamble]

Of course you can. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I'll invoice you.

[Anya Magliano]

I don't say, I don't say it. I say fuzzy. And I think everyone gets a little bit on the, on their edge.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Here comes the title.

[Anya Magliano]

Here comes the title. But then I don't do it because I'm a classy comic.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, you are very classy, actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

One of the Skies. One of the classiest comics working today, I would say. And you would you really, you could put that on the poster.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

One of the classiest comments working today. Matthew Crosby, Radio X. Yeah, you're welcome to have that. So what's the, what's, what's the story behind calling your show Peach Fuzz?

[Anya Magliano]

The story behind the show is the show calling it Peach Fuzz. I am so good at this.

[Ed Gamble]

She's going great.

[Anya Magliano]

Fantastic is because it's a lot about the body, and I was actually initially talking about a very long chin hair that I have.

[Matthew Crosby]

How long is a long chin hair? Just to give us a bit of context.

[Anya Magliano]

So it's long, it's quick, you pluck it and it grows back double.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tenacious.

[Anya Magliano]

It's tenacious.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it like when Homer Simpson shaves?

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah, exactly like that. But it's me and I'm a young woman. But that actually, unbelievably, given how well it's going here, that didn't make it to the show.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, really?

[Anya Magliano]

I think the audiences couldn't stop then looking at it for the rest of the show. I think I've plucked it for today because this is, as I said, I'm a classic comedian.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, for the show, I think if you kept that bit in, you'd have to maybe color that, like, dye the, the hair.

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, what color?

[Ed Gamble]

So maybe like sort of something bright. Maybe like a bright blue or something.

[Anya Magliano]

Maybe like a color every night. Because I don't know. You know how on tour singers do these things? Like Sabrina Carpenter does the judo position. Different thing every night.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Or she arrests someone in the audience.

[Anya Magliano]

Role model has a different Sally. So maybe my thing could be I have a different person color my chin hair.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Or you could arrest someone with the chin hair. You could tie it around the noose. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, actually, do you know what it is kind of, it is kind of panto Season at the moment. Have you thought about, you know, like, in Peter Pan, where they would fly someone around the stage and you could. You could suspend yourself, just attach it to the rafters of the theater and swing onto the stage by your own chin head.

[Ed Gamble]

Wow.

[Anya Magliano]

Like a sort of Tarzan.

[Matthew Crosby]

Like a Tarzan type thing.

[Anya Magliano]

Like a hormonally imbalanced Tarzan.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's lovely. Swing over the top of the audience.

[Anya Magliano]

This is really.

[Ed Gamble]

Moment. Yeah. So I think maybe bring it back.

[Anya Magliano]

Or I could come crashing down like the chandelier in Phantom of the Opera.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, what a great moment.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought you were gonna say only Fools and Horses.

[Anya Magliano]

No, that's not a reference point for me, unfortunately.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, we've got to ask you, because you're a young person, aren't you?

[Ed Gamble]

Are we going to ask any of that here or should we.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Where to get tickets for Anya?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, let's. Let's. Let's. We'll. We'll promo the show, and then we've got to ask you some questions as a young person.

[Anya Magliano]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

If that's okay.

[Anya Magliano]

That's my dream.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyamagliano.com is where you get to Anya Magliano. It's the catchphrase. And then just put dot com at the end of it. Okay. Just remember the catchphrase then dot com. More from Anya after this.

[Ed Gamble]

Mask, you crobly. And Radio Ed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. I don't know.

[Ed Gamble]

Dumb by Nirvana, Ed Gavel and Matty Crosby on radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's very rare that you play Nirvana and people come out there giggling. Yes, it's very rare, but I'm in.

[Anya Magliano]

Tears laughing my head off at that song.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, while Nirvana was playing, Anya said something. Or you're like, just save it. We're gonna talk about it on air.

[Matthew Crosby]

Before we started, she said, I'm all covered in hair. And we're like, well, obviously you'll talk about that. And then during Nirvana, you told us. Well, tell us what you told us.

[Anya Magliano]

I'm trying to have a genuine connection and conversation with you guys.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's all content to us.

[Anya Magliano]

Pimping it out for content?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

[Anya Magliano]

Anyway, I have an app to track my stool.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, where is your stool currently? Is it like flight tracker? Cause usually. Usually I can tell where mine are.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, mine's headed towards the sea right now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly, yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, I thought you meant within the bod.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Whereabouts in the bo. What is it?

[Anya Magliano]

It's high up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, is it neck? Is it really? Is that far? It's. I. I think that's no it's probably rib cage. Yeah, just.

[Ed Gamble]

Just.

[Anya Magliano]

I only had a li. I only had like multiple liquids for breakfast.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Anya Magliano]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you want to talk through the liquids? What? Multiple liquids? Because otherwise it seems creepy.

[Anya Magliano]

Chocolate protein shake.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. Lovely.

[Anya Magliano]

Hot chocolate.

[Ed Gamble]

So how's it going, Anya? Because last time I spoke to you, we were messaging about the fact you've got a spreadsheet to make sure you only have a certain amount of sweet things a month.

[Anya Magliano]

It's a chart. Yeah, it's a sticker chart.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sticker. Because. No, I assumed it was going to be a SP sheet, by the way Anya was talking about it and she sent me a picture of it and she's done it with a felt tip.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no. Like your revision sort of planner.

[Anya Magliano]

And I stuck some stars on it. I didn't stick the stars. I just stuck the stars on the edge to decorate it. Whereas I use a checklist system, but unfortunately.

[Matthew Crosby]

What color are the stars? We've got to ask.

[Anya Magliano]

Silver.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wrong color.

[Anya Magliano]

Well, I got them for a Halloween costume while I was playing the moon. Anyway, so I got that. I made that chart in November to keep track of my sweet things.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, your sweet things.

[Anya Magliano]

The problem was. And my. My gym visits. There's a wild imbalance in that. The problem was, was that by the time I'd made the chart, I. I did an evaluation, which was I thought I can have six things a month. Six sweet days a month where I.

[Ed Gamble]

Can eat sweet days.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you're talking a 24 hour period when all bets are. When all bets are off.

[Anya Magliano]

Like the purge.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, exactly.

[Anya Magliano]

But by the time that I came up with that idea, I'd already had quite a few days like that. So I thought, oh, I won't include them in the chart.

[Matthew Crosby]

Chart.

[Anya Magliano]

And then I ran out of room. So then I had to add more days to the chart.

[Matthew Crosby]

So then that's where the 40th came in.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're doing much longer months now, aren't you?

[Ed Gamble]

If you shouldn't be adding to the chart. Anya, that's the whole point of the chart.

[Anya Magliano]

I know. It's really hard.

[Ed Gamble]

So it's not going great because for breakfast you had a chocolate protein shake and a hot chocolate.

[Anya Magliano]

They're healthy. That's healthy.

[Ed Gamble]

No hot chocolate for breakfast. But it's.

[Anya Magliano]

It's a special hot chocolate from Mexico.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, still not. Still not healthy.

[Anya Magliano]

I've not got any sugar in.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but it's just pure dark chocolate.

[Anya Magliano]

It's pure cacao.

[Ed Gamble]

Cacao, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe that is healthy.

[Ed Gamble]

And speaking of cacao.

[Anya Magliano]

And it's meant to open your heart. And do you not think I've come into this?

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got very open hearted.

[Anya Magliano]

Open heart, open bowels.

[Ed Gamble]

Speaking of cacao, Anya, tell us more about this app.

[Anya Magliano]

So it's called Happy Poop. Poop.

[Matthew Crosby]

Happy Poop. Okay. Yes. Are you sure you're not potty training yourself? Have you got an app for toddlers? Is that what it is?

[Anya Magliano]

Well, yeah, I find it quite hard to go in the toilet, so I do have to learn. Yeah, no, no, basically it's good. So you have to know what's going on down there to know about your health. Guys, you have to be going. A nutritionist told me. I go to a nutritionist to say hello. How can I stop eating chocolate for breakfast?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

She said you have to be going once every day without fail.

[Ed Gamble]

Right?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

And that was a threat.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

Or else.

[Ed Gamble]

But that. Yeah, I am. I don't need an app.

[Matthew Crosby]

How often. How often were you going?

[Anya Magliano]

Sort of once every couple of days. Lots of, like, depending on how I felt. If I'm traveling, I find it really difficult.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, so you think there's something psychosomatic about it?

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, my God.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You're like the guy from American Pie who had to go home for toilet.

[Anya Magliano]

Yes, kind of.

[Ed Gamble]

But.

[Anya Magliano]

But not. I don't have to go home. I can do it anywhere. I can do it on the train. I can do it on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, don't do it on the train, please.

[Anya Magliano]

Not in the toilet.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, okay, fine.

[Anya Magliano]

You know, there are some people who like.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because you can get too relaxed.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're now so relaxed. I could squat in the street. It's fine.

[Anya Magliano]

I'm nappy training now. I'm going reverse.

[Ed Gamble]

Awesome.

[Anya Magliano]

But you basically, you just log when you do it. You log the. The log.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

I'm not going to show it to you because it will give away my. My secret.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't. And I don't. You know what? I don't want to know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very happy with that. Very happy with that arrangement, actually.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I'm worried the only comedian I know when they go is Nish Kumar, because he will text me.

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, really? Maybe me and him should connect.

[Ed Gamble]

You don't want to see his app. His app would blow up. Yeah, it's too many times.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's just. It's. It's. It's a horror show.

[Anya Magliano]

Can I say one more thing about the app?

[Matthew Crosby]

You must.

[Anya Magliano]

It's got a little. It's got one section where it's got games and music. So you can play. You can play relaxing music over the top.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

If you need to, like, counteract. And it's got Tetris, but a very rudimentary version.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it like a poo Tetris?

[Matthew Crosby]

Are they all little flops coming down? Well, I've never.

[Anya Magliano]

I've never. Oh, God, no. This is probably too much to share.

[Matthew Crosby]

Go on, let's hear it.

[Anya Magliano]

I was just gonna say I never need to play the game because mine are very quick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Oh.

[Anya Magliano]

But not in a dangerous way. Just in a way where it's like, I'm not there for hours.

[Ed Gamble]

Job done.

[Matthew Crosby]

They just fly out of you like a Gatling gun.

[Anya Magliano]

Like a what?

[Matthew Crosby]

It doesn't matter. Anyway, More from Andy Magliano after this.

[Ed Gamble]

We're gonna play the Magliagliano. You completely messed the catchphrase up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it not? Maggie Aguilarno, please stop.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. We're still joined by Anya Magliano here on the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show. Which is why we're giggling, because Han has had another realization. She's got the app out that is tracking her bowel movements, and it's absolutely 100 for children.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I've seen the. I've seen the icon. I've seen the little.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's got the little emoji.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a little.

[Anya Magliano]

It's. It's the poo emoji.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's for parents to track their kids.

[Anya Magliano]

You have to. If you want to upload photo, you have to make an account.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't upload photo.

[Ed Gamble]

And then can you. If you go to, like, the top level, do you see other people's.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah, you can connect.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you can.

[Anya Magliano]

It's a dating app at that level.

[Matthew Crosby]

White, bright.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's fantastic.

[Anya Magliano]

Wait, what did you say?

[Matthew Crosby]

I said white bright.

[Ed Gamble]

White.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you know it's white, right?

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, white bright.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you so much.

[Anya Magliano]

Everybody said white's. Right? And then I was like.

[Matthew Crosby]

I said. I said white rights. Is that. Is that a weird thing to say on the.

[Producer John]

On the air?

[Matthew Crosby]

You're like, oh, weirdly, Crosby's just become a supremacist.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah, I do that. I do that to people.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, for this whole conversation, he's been sat there going, God, we're still talking about this poo app, and I want to get some of my views out there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Anya Magliano]

Oh, dear.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, oh, dear is right.

[Ed Gamble]

Let's move on quickly now. Matthew has been asking young people what they get up to. He's been genuinely going around the offices here at Radiox, really, interviewing young people. We've interviewed John this morning about what he gets up to as a young person. You know, Matthew wants to learn. I'm taking some things from it as well. But, Matthew, do you have any questions for Anya?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I've got. The first big one is what are the kids up to? To these days? Well, we know what you're up to, but what are the kids up to?

[Producer John]

More.

[Matthew Crosby]

More. More generally, what are the trends? What are the trouble getting into?

[Anya Magliano]

Madam. Madame Morrible. Flip it around. Wicked Witch.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know what any of this is. Fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

John's laughing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great.

[Anya Magliano]

Wicked Witch.

[Ed Gamble]

John's laughing. And they're doing things with their hands.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. All right. Now, this is.

[Ed Gamble]

This is horrible. Flip it round. Wicked Witch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, so you're putting up three fingers.

[Ed Gamble]

Borrow modern parlance. I think the. This generation's cooked.

[Matthew Crosby]

Love it.

[Anya Magliano]

And also mewing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I've been mewing for years. Yeah. Can you not see my jawline? I've been absolutely behind the microphone. It's behind the microphone and a beard. So. But it's. I. I'm a big mewer. Love mewing. The. The doctor who invented mewing. Dr. Muir, basically. Such a funny look because he really does have the enormous. He's got the proper old kind of. Kind of Dan. Yeah, he's absolutely got a quagmire jaw. So mewing.

[Anya Magliano]

But.

[Matthew Crosby]

But we. Let's get back to.

[Anya Magliano]

You want to know about Wicked Witch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. So it's. You put three fingers up on each hand.

[Ed Gamble]

Why? Why? Why?

[Anya Magliano]

So, no, they go down. So basically, the woman who plays Madame Morrible in Wicked.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Anya Magliano]

She. In all her interviews, she's been saying this discovery that she came. So her character is called Madame Morrible.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Morrible Michelle.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

She's like an amazing actress.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

The woman who plays Madame Horrible.

[Anya Magliano]

I'm putting it into basic terms for Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I couldn't understand two names. There's no way. I didn't know. Actually, the actors play characters.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So she.

[Anya Magliano]

Her name is Madame Morrible.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you put your hands down like this to make two M's.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah. This is what she does in her interviews. And then. But then her point is that if you flip it around, they'll be Wicked Witch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maramorable. Wicked Witch.

[Anya Magliano]

Flip it around.

[Ed Gamble]

Flipping it around the wrong way.

[Anya Magliano]

You have to say, flip it around.

[Matthew Crosby]

Madame Marble. Flip it around. Wicked Witch.

[Anya Magliano]

And you have to go like this. Bounce.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wicked Witch. Wicked Witch. Wicked Witch. But, you know, this is Harry Hill was doing this years ago when he was doing stalactites and stalagmites.

[Ed Gamble]

Liz Hurley, Curly Whirly, he used to do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

So he used to do stalactites. Stalagmites. He would hang down. I think maybe Harry is writing for our friend. Yo. Wow. Fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

Curly, what do you think?

[Anya Magliano]

Matthew Crosby, flip that around. Matthew Crosby, Matthew Crosby, flip it around.

[Matthew Crosby]

Grathew Mosby. Curly Whirly, Matthew Crosby, Curly Worley.

[Anya Magliano]

What about Ed's Gamble?

[Ed Gamble]

It's tricky with a G, isn't it?

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah, so that's unfortunate.

[Ed Gamble]

Never mind.

[Matthew Crosby]

It doesn't work. Well, listen, we're gonna have to do a proper goodbye to you now, I'm afraid. Yes, she's doing that. She's doing the hands. The hands thing again.

[Ed Gamble]

Me too.

[Matthew Crosby]

Flip it round. Wicked witch.

[Anya Magliano]

Can I send the video or can I show you the video?

[Ed Gamble]

But as long as it's not a TikTok link, because I don't have TikTok. So you'd have to download it and then send it to me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Could you. Could you. Could you film your screen?

[Ed Gamble]

If it's.

[Anya Magliano]

You want me to do a screen recording my Tik Tok for you?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, please.

[Ed Gamble]

And if it's made YouTube shorts. I'll probably get it eventually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, I'll watch it on YouTube.

[Anya Magliano]

You guys need to go into a home.

[Ed Gamble]

I would love that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, absolutely. Mushed up meals. Yes, please. Yes, please. Mushed meals. Big thank you to Annie and Mac Magliano. Of course. The tour is on sale now. Anya. Magliano.com. it's the catchphrase. And then dot com. Bloomsbury Theatre, 15th of May, Soho Theatre, 23rd of February to the 7th of March. And of course all the way around the UK, February to June 2026. Anya. What a joy.

[Anya Magliano]

Thanks.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely to see you, Anya.

[Anya Magliano]

Thanks. So sorry about what I said.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X lover.

[Ed Gamble]

It's cold and dark outside need something to brighten day. Ooh, this looks like a cheery little dizzy. Let's hear from Employed to Serve.

[Matthew Crosby]

My master plan. Why? Cuz you understand.

[Ed Gamble]

You okay?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no, no, no. This is sitting very, very poorly with me this morning.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, dear.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know why. Something. Why is he so.

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

Right, firstly, why is he so angry?

[Ed Gamble]

She.

[Matthew Crosby]

She.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there's two voices on this, actually. Who is the one who's Justine, who's the singer of Employed to Serve.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's featuring Will Ramos from Lorna Shore. Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why are they both so angry? What's going on in Their lives.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, no, Justine's a lovely lady. I've met her a few times.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, good. Well, you know, lots of love to Justine, but, you know, if you are such a lovely person, let it come out in your music. Honestly, let it come out in your music, just like the lovely lads from Kings of Leon do. This is Kings of Leon here on Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

They set their sex on fire. They're not nice.

[Matthew Crosby]

Disgusting, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Crunch and crumble Radio X.

The kooks on Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. And we're a couple of kooks. And everyone listening is an absolute thicko. We know that all of you out there in Radio land are dumb as mints.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely, yeah. Thick as two short planks, you guys. You really are.

[Ed Gamble]

And that's fine.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's better.

[Ed Gamble]

It's better.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's easier. How sweet to be an idiot. Neil Innis taught us that.

[Ed Gamble]

Happier lives. But you've been getting in contact and telling us all the ways in which you're thick. Your big, thick moments. And at the end of the year, Matthew will be doing 12 Days of Thickmas, a song with all of our 12 thickest listeners.

[Matthew Crosby]

Our 12 favorite thickest listeners.

[Ed Gamble]

So we've got some potentials here, Matthew. They do come in thick and fast.

[Matthew Crosby]

Certainly do, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Even though the listeners are thick and slow.

[Matthew Crosby]

Incredibly slow.

[Ed Gamble]

We've got this in from Michael. When I was in seventh grade, I absentmindedly tucked the television remote control into my pocket one morning and proceeded to school. It seemed like a fun accident at first, as I spent the whole day pointing the remote at my friends and pressing mute. Or turning them off.

[Matthew Crosby]

Love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Love.

[Matthew Crosby]

Like the movie Click with Adam Sandler.

[Ed Gamble]

But. But it doesn't work.

[Matthew Crosby]

But it doesn't work. Click. But no batteries.

[Ed Gamble]

But then I left it in the desk at Ms. Mazzaro's Spanish room and my mother had to.

[Matthew Crosby]

It got confiscated, basically. It got confiscated, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And my mother had to come around to the front door and ask them to let me back into the building to retrieve it. My mother got a parking ticket and was mad at me for a week. Well, just pop her on mute. Rewind to when you got. Left it in the desk.

[Matthew Crosby]

What I like about that is that is very much our household. A household that cannot survive without telly for an evening. There's no. Oh, what are you gonna do? Read a book or play a board game?

[Ed Gamble]

What are you gonna do? Get the sofa and use the controls on the telly?

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

No. Because no one knows where they are anymore. They Stick them right around the back.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is so mad about Telly's now that you have to sort of constantly just fiddle around. And it's only just one button as well. It's not like. Anyway, modern technology. I'm modern technology, you know. You've arrived at the wrong time, John. You really have. You've arrived at the wrong time. We've got this one in from Sally, who says, I worked as a flight nurse and was flying in business class. Class. Oh, to get a patient from Australia. Is that how it works?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm assuming not an emergency.

[Matthew Crosby]

I hope not. Anyway, that. That's not your mains of the story. They put me in seat 1A. The captain crew. The cabin crew came around and gave out what I thought was the captain crew. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Can you also do that noise again when you heard about seat 1A?

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Me and John really enjoyed that.

[Matthew Crosby]

I could tell. And that's what threw me off. And that's why I said captain crew, because my mouth made a noise and I wasn't expecting it myself.

[Ed Gamble]

Whoa, whoa.

[Matthew Crosby]

Seat one, eh? The cabin crew came round and gave out what I thought was a thick blanket. Oh, is this just a story about a thick blanket? Cause that's not what we're after. It's not just all thick. It's not just stories about thick things. It's about thick people. It gave me a thick blanket. I unwrapped it, put it over me and fastened my seatbelt over the top, only to look around and see all the other passengers putting them directly onto the seats. It wasn't a blanket, it was a machine mattress. Yes, it was a mattress for the flatbed. I started out by turning to my neighbor and saying, it's chilly. I'm not sure that's starting it out, Sally. This is very much like when my friend. My friend Tom Parry was at the MC Comedy Festival. He was camping. No, my other friend. I've got two friends, remember? I've got two friends, Tom Parry and Alaric. And he was camping at the. At the comedy festival in McLuth and realized he hadn't packed a towel. So he went to. He went to a shop and he said they were selling some towels, but they're also selling small, strong towels. So I bought a small, strong towel and he said to the woman as he was buying it, he said, yeah, I just forgot my towel. And she went, that's a bath mat. And rather than going, like, I'll accept my mistake in picking up a towel, he went, yeah, I know. And so for a Weekend he was camping in a really rainy, muddy field and drying himself with a bath mat.

[Ed Gamble]

Small strong towel.

[Matthew Crosby]

A small strong towel. We all want one. Thank you very much to everyone who sent in Thinkmas. We'll do a few more.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we got a load of these.

[Matthew Crosby]

We'll do a few more in the next link.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and back Pfeifengersen Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

What happened there? Hey, listen, do not trick us, Paul Weller.

[Producer John]

Do not.

[Ed Gamble]

That's unbelievable. That was the start of another song.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was really bad. That was like a gunshot there, wasn't it? You tried to say, Paul, that's. Do you know what? That's exactly what happens when Paul Weller's mum comes out and tells him and the rest of the jam to stop. Stop practicing their instruments. Paul. It's nine o'. Clock. Bang.

[Ed Gamble]

Bang.

[Matthew Crosby]

Dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang dang. D well, go and change your bed sheets, you dirty bug. Awful. Anyway, yes, Paul Weller there, the changer man here on Radio X. We're thick guys, right?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we're really thick guys.

[Matthew Crosby]

But then of course so are our listeners. So we'd like to.

[Ed Gamble]

We'd like to talk about how thick they are. I think we would like for the 12 days of thickness.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, indeed.

[Ed Gamble]

This is from Alison. Happy radio lads.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't mind if I do.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd like to submit a Thickmas entry. Calling off at the supermarket on my way home. Even the phrase calling off, I don't think that's what.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, calling off at the supermarket.

[Ed Gamble]

You could cool off at the supermarket or call in.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course you can go down the free.

[Ed Gamble]

Calling off at the supermarket on my way home from work. My eyes clearly haven't adjusted to the darker nights. I've just walked straight into a man leaving the shop I was going into because I saw him in the automatic doors and presumed he was my reflection. He was a smartly dressed bald man, roughly in his. His 60s. I'm a 40 year old woman wearing painting overalls. I was and remain very, very sorry.

[Matthew Crosby]

Could I just say, if you see your reflection, don't walk into it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's. So there's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I assume that was my reflection. So I walked directly face first into it. Yeah, that's insane.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't walk into anything that looks like a human.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do not walk into anything that looks like a human. We've got a long one from Gary. Should we try a long one?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, why not?

[Matthew Crosby]

Last year, says Gary, I was sat in my kitchen working from home when I noticed an awful smell akin to burning plastic. I checked around for the source of the smell but found nothing. So I shrugged it off and went back to work. Around 20 minutes later, I noticed the smell was even stronger and it was at that moment I saw flashing blue lights from the corner of my eye. I stood up and ventured out onto the balcony, only to see a crowd of around 15 people and four fire engines. Blue lights flashing on the bridge below my apartment. I saw that a few of the people on the bridge below were shouting and pointing towards my right. I turned sideways and noticed for the first time that my Neighbor's apartment, maybe 15ft away, was completely engulfed in flames. Turns out their washing machine had burst into flames, hence the smell. I'd carried on working sat next to a window for half an hour, unaware that just beyond that window, my neighbor's apartment was an inferno. Luckily, nobody was harmed and the firefighters extinguished the blood blaze. Later, this is. This is. That's pretty thick.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But later my girlfriend came home and I told her the story. She called me an idiot and said, how did you not hear the sirens from the. And then paused before confidently continuing, fire ambulances. A year later, she still refers to fire engines as fire ambulances, as in her words, it's a much better name. There you go.

[Ed Gamble]

They're not. That's the opposite of what they do. They're not there to look after and maintain the fire.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're fire killers.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're not paramedics for fire. They're not. Yeah, it's a much better name. I'm stupid and oblivious. My girlfriend doesn't know what a fire engine is. A match made in heaven. That's exactly what we're after. Thank you so much to Gary and of course, to your girlfriend. Keep those coming in [e-mail] and this couldn't be more apropos. It's like we haven't just thrown the show together. This is Burn Baby Burn by Ash.

[Ed Gamble]

On Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio. We have the thickest listeners in radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's so savage. It's the end of another fantastic show from the golden pen of Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't believe we smashed it out the park.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know. How have we done it? We always do it. Yeah, we always do. We're just two of the best around. We really are. Speaking of the best around, do go and see Anya Magliano if you get a chance to see her on tour. She's absolutely brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

And if you missed the chat. Listen to the pod. We do a pod of this show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen to the pod. And the other best around, of course, is our dear friend, producer John. Thank you so much. It's been great.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you, John.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's been great having a young person in the room, bringing the average age down with your references. We've loved it. We absolutely loved it. Have a wonderful week, everybody. We are back next week, 8am live on the radio. We will see you then. Bye bye.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio and Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

So, folks, there's the show. What a wonderful show it was. I love Anya so much.

[Ed Gamble]

Brilliant.

[Matthew Crosby]

Brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Really, really brilliant.

[Matthew Crosby]

So funny. You know, really, as we were saying just before we started recording this really unique.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just there's no one like her.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely not.

[Matthew Crosby]

You should definitely go and see her. See her. If you go. Get a chance to. She's absolutely brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll both go and see the show, of course.

[Producer John]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was last. Last time we went and saw Anya together at the solo theater. We had a lovely time.

[Ed Gamble]

Sat right in her eyeline.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sat right in her eye line. Which we didn' Want to do. No, we got there a bit late and they moved us to the front row. And then on the journey home, I was doing a bit of work on my laptop and a knit fell out my hair and into the laptop. And I had to tell you guys, oh, by the way, when I hugged you, I might have given you Nick.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I didn't actually think, you know.

[Ed Gamble]

I've still got them.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, have you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I love them. It's just nice to be in lonely moments.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's nice to have company. You've trained them as well to, like, tidy the kitchen and stuff in a sort of. Sort of Snow White type fashion.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, they just all sc.

[Ed Gamble]

They hold their hair up.

[Matthew Crosby]

What was that thing where the guy.

[Ed Gamble]

They plait my hair in the morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

They plait your hair in the morning? Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And occasionally, if you think I've got this very, very important business meeting, I've got to have a mustache for it. They arrange themselves on your face or, you know, a pair of glasses to look a bit more studious. All of that kind of stuff. They can do all of that. You don't have any hair anymore, do you? It's just pure knits up there, forming different shapes.

[Ed Gamble]

I would love hair that would just controlled itself into different styles.

[Matthew Crosby]

I would love it. That would be so. Well, you've basically got flubber for hair.

[Ed Gamble]

This is. This is VS Flubber for Hair. This is what happens when me and Matthew say we'll just do a quick outro because we gotta.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, that's right. Sorry. It has gotta be a quick outro.

[Ed Gamble]

Any bet recs? I was thinking what we're heading towards the end of the year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

I think for the final beck rec of the year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Albums of the year.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, albums of the year or just beck recs of the year? Like record of the year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Records of the year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Backwards of the year. We've gotta do our beckwords of the.

[Ed Gamble]

Year for tv, film and music.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, well, as you know, I've watched one TV show because my wife can't handle most TV shows. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, the main shows I've watched, I've been working on.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But, yeah, I can do. I can do my. I can definitely do my song.

[Ed Gamble]

It doesn't need to be TV if you don't want.

[Matthew Crosby]

I might even put a book in there.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I might even do a book.

[Matthew Crosby]

This year as well.

[Ed Gamble]

We know who you are, though. You've not. You've not recommended any books all year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, I have one book about the Beatles.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, of course. Well, that's what it's gonna be.

[Matthew Crosby]

Spoiler alert, guys. Yeah, it's gonna be the one book I read. Yeah, that'll be fun.

[Ed Gamble]

I do have a bet rec for this week.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's your bet rec for this week?

[Ed Gamble]

It's quite specific. So general bet rec for Jim Gaffigan. I think one of the best.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think Jim Gaffigan is phenomenal. He is just so brilliant. I love him. I think he's brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Incredible. He's released the new special for free on YouTube.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, great.

[Ed Gamble]

But it is all about bourbon and whisky. Okay, so it's him performing at Old Forester, which is a whiskey distillery in the States.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great.

[Ed Gamble]

And I am sort of going through a big algorithm thing at the moment where I watch a lot of videos of Bourbon Hunters, which is basically hillbillies with beards, going around grocery stores filming what they have on the shelves and seeing if they can find rare bottles of bourbon.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great.

[Ed Gamble]

Jim Gaffigan is also obsessed with this and he's written. It's a 45 minute special all about bourbon.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, Jim Gaffigan is one of those great comics who will take a topic. Have you seen stuff about bacon?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just goes on and on and on. He will take a topic.

[Ed Gamble]

And the Hot Pockets, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hot Pockets. Of course. The famous Hot Pockets.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He will take a topic and get every. You know, there's no Meat left on the bone. After that, he gets every single possible gag he can out of a topic.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd say the equivalent in the UK would be Whidaker, Moray, Caster.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Who will unpack everything until it's dead.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. Writing with Josh his little spider diagrams he does, where it'll start with something like, I don't know, Jacob's crackers in the middle. And he'll do every possible gag you can do about Jacob's crackers.

[Ed Gamble]

That's gonna.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

But, yeah, do go and watch this bourbon, I think it's live at Old Forester, it's called. It is brilliant, I think, even if you. I think you'll get a lot out of it if you like bourbon.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

But you'll still get something out of it if you don't. But then I think if you've not watched Jim Gaffigan before, that's just a general bat rack for him.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, he's brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

And clean.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, he plays clean.

[Ed Gamble]

Wild. He plays clean and writes it all with his wife.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know, it's. So. Is it Jeannie. Is that his wife? Jeannie Gaffigan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What a lovely, lovely. Basically, he. He eats lots and lots of food. He writes loads of jokes about that. He has a lovely. He has a lovely wife. Actually, he's not. He's got your sort of dream life, hasn't he, really? He's got your life already. You've got your dream life.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

What have I been listening to? I mean, it's all this. All the same odd stuff. The new. The new songs from the. From Wuthering Heights are really good. The Emerald Fennell. Wuthering Heights is coming. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Charlie XCX has done a song, and she's done a song with John Cale as well, so that's brilliant. I'm listening to that a lot. Very moody.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Atmospheric. Yeah. But poppy.

[Ed Gamble]

I love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's great. I think that's. I'm excited about that. I love Emerald Fiddle movies.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, me too.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think they're. They're all. I mean, they're always thrilling all the way through.

[Ed Gamble]

Totally.

[Matthew Crosby]

The more you think about them afterwards, you go, does that make sense? Doesn't matter.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't care.

[Matthew Crosby]

Doesn't matter. Matter.

[Ed Gamble]

I want to shriek and freak and holler through.

[Matthew Crosby]

And also gross. Gross sex, you know, it's like, is that your bedrock? Oh, having gross sex. Yeah.

[Anya Magliano]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have a bit of gross sex, guys. Treat yourself. It's Christmas after all. John very quickly. Have you got any BET wrecks?

[Producer John]

Just go and watch the Madame Morrible thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, go and watch that.

[Producer John]

It's funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And you showed us that. Very, very funny. My what? My daughter did six, seven to me a couple of weeks ago, and I really felt out of my depth.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I was trying to get her to eat her dinner. She was just going, six, seven. I was like, well, this is it.

[Ed Gamble]

Come on.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm done. I'm done. And so is the show. Bye. Bye, everybody. See you next week, 8aM on Sunday morning. Bye. Bye, Gray D O X.