Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 342 – Show 342 (with John Kearns and Rob Auton)

Date: January 11, 2026

Overview

This episode marks the 342nd edition of Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby’s Radio X show, affectionately known as Crunch & Crumble. The hosts celebrate yet another idiosyncratic milestone: every 57th show—why 57? Not even they remember—but it’s a “big one” for the pair. In this special, they’re joined by two of their favourite comedians and regular guests, John Kearns and Rob Auton. Expect hearty tangents about comedy, bizarre radio format ideas, touring, breakfast rituals, heavy metal, door installation, and the enduring comedy of daily life.

Main Theme

The episode is a riotous celebration of the show’s unique “57s” milestone, loaded with callbacks, in-jokes, and meta-commentary on their own radio nonsense. With guests John Kearns and Rob Auton, Ed & Matthew gleefully tumble through whimsical conversations about comedy, the absurdities of daily routines, listener emails, and their guests’ latest projects—with plenty of asides, running gags, and “is this even radio?” moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Show 342: ‘The 57s’ Celebration

• The hosts celebrate their sixth “57th show” (every 57th episode), poking fun at the arbitrary ritual.
• [09:51] Ed: “We celebrate every 57 shows as opposed to every 52 shows... We don’t celebrate yearly. We celebrate a year and five weeks—57ly!”
• “Breathy Lady” voice provides over the top, reverent introductions to the milestone, compiling highlights from show 285 and referencing how little sense these traditions make.

2. Meta-Narrative: How To (Not) Make a Radio Show

• The team riff on their lack of radio experience and increasingly nonsensical “structure.”
• [10:22] Matthew: “Can [Breathy Lady] do it every week?...that’s the pressure off us a little bit.”
• Speculating about AI and “franchising” the show:
  • [10:56] Ed: “This is where AI steps in.”
  • [11:14] Ed: “Crucially... as long as the AI’s doing the work, the Breathy Lady’s doing the reading, and our names are still on it and we still get paid, that’s the main thing!”

3. Listener Interactions & Banned Emails

• Producer Vin refuses to share “guess the technique” emails after a previous week’s offhand remark from Ed triggered a deluge.
• [01:38] Vin (Producer): “I refuse to put them on the document.”
• [02:54] Matthew: “God, you can’t do anything these days on the radio.”
• Ed laments the “glory days of XFM” when things were less censored.

4. Comedic Banter and Personal Anecdotes

A. Massages and Paper Pants

• Embarrassing stories of massages and uncertainty about paper pants etiquette.
• [05:04] John Kearns: “I’ve got the towel over me.”
• The joys and perils of oily, see-through paper pants.

B. Christmas Rituals & Domestic Antics

• Ed and Matthew detail post-holiday home vibes; Ed’s family replaces Christmas decorations with village-fête bunting.
• [16:00] Ed: “Your house is like a village fate.”

C. Puppetry of the Penis & Random Stage Shows

• Nostalgic (and bemused) discussion about infamous “Puppetry of the Penis” shows and their oddball franchising.

5. Guest Segment: John Kearns

A. Montages, Touring, and Show Titles

• John discusses his upcoming tour “Tilting at Windmills” and shares rejected show titles (“Milk Tray Man”, “Dolphins in Venice”, “Guinness Nitro Surge”).
• [31:02] Matthew: “Ambrosia Knights is a good title.”
• [27:57] John: “You do a lot of press...you get calls from people that have no idea who you are and you gotta flog your show and the title always...is baffling.”
• The origin of “Tilting at Windmills” (from watching a Christopher Lee documentary).

B. Comedy, Algorithms, and PVC Animal Videos

• John admits his Instagram serves up ever-stranger “shiny PVC animal” content.
• [23:12] John: “Obviously I’m watching that till the end. And I’m getting a lot more PVC animal things.”
• [24:25] Matthew: “I get tattooed women farting in a bowl of custard. You know, normal stuff.”

C. Inventing New (Awful) Game Shows

• The crew pitch “Pooh Bet”: a game where celebrities are pictured and contestants guess who’s using a toilet.
• [34:01] John: “Right, you want me to visualize this box now?”
• [34:55] Matthew: “She looks like...a PVC cat, doesn’t she?”

6. Guest Segment: Rob Auton

A. On Tour: ‘Can—An Hour Long Story’

• Rob explains the premise of his new show about a man called Can, once the world’s best motivational speaker.
• [38:49] Matthew: “...tour starting 19th Jan at Soho Theatre and worming its way across the UK until April.”

B. Monumental Eating, Buffets & Mexican Onions

• Rob recounts over-indulging on a Mexican holiday:
  • [42:14] Rob: “I just went on holiday and I put on a stone and a half in two weeks.”
  • [42:40] Matthew: “What are you having when you wake up...for a breakfast buffet?”
  • [43:03] Rob: “All the different onions, you know... that’s when you know you’re in Mexico.”

C. Doors, DIY, and The Cost of Modern Living

• Rob’s ongoing saga to buy a new front door—with Ed and Matthew incredulous over the cost and lack of pricing transparency.
• [40:01] Ed (on door selection): "You’ve got to look at a lot...catalog and choose doors."

D. Nightclub ‘Bogs’ and Toilet Attendants

• Rob is asked if he’s ever had a Chupa Chup “from the bogs” (via a bathroom attendant).
• [44:36] Matthew: “Taken from a bouncer... or are they specifically a toilet man?”
• [45:19] Rob: “I can’t remember the last time I went into a toilet and someone offered me like a Chupa Chup.”

7. Regular Nonsense and Closing Riffs

A. Music & Metal

• Matthew’s “cheery” heavy metal track pick: “Kill It, Skin It, Wear It” by Man Must Die (to Ed’s dismay).
• Frequent jokes about never actually knowing which band is playing next.

B. AI/Automation & ‘The Traitors’ TV Show

• Bantering about AI taking over the show, and their shared love for “The Traitors” (BBC reality show).
• [53:07] Vin: “Want to try [a slowed-down Traitors version of ‘Birdhouse In Your Soul’]?”
• They all break into an impromptu, deadpan rendition.

C. Backrecs & Life Updates

• The team give up on recommending anything new for “backrecs” this week:
  • [52:24] Rob: “Nothing.”
  • [52:32] Matthew: “I just don’t have anything to recommend. I’m so sorry.”

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Ed Gamble, on the 57-show milestone:
  "We don’t celebrate yearly. We celebrate a year and five weeks—57ly!" [09:54]

• Matthew Crosby, on listener emails:
  "God, you can’t do anything these days on the radio." [02:54]

• John Kearns, on stand-up show titles:
  "I was gonna call it something like ‘Two Chevrons Apart.’ So when they go, what's that about? You could just explain, well, when you drive on a motorway, you should keep two chevrons apart. But I didn’t." [27:58]

• John Kearns, on his Instagram algorithm:
  "Obviously I’m watching that till the end. And I’m getting a lot more PVC animal things." [23:12]

• Matthew Crosby, on home furnishings:
  "Your house is like a village fate." [16:00]

• Ed Gamble, pitching game show ideas:
  "Basically, imagine this: You got a big box...there are celebrity faces—right? You’ve got to work out which one is sat on a loo currently pooing. It’s called Pooh Bet." [33:36]

• Rob Orton, on buffet eating in Mexico:
  "All the different onions, you know...that’s when you know you’re in Mexico." [43:03]

• Rob Orton, on 'bouncer' Chupa Chup lollies:
  "I can’t remember the last time I went into a toilet and someone offered me like a Chupa Chup." [45:19]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:10–03:00: Ed, Matthew & Vin banter about show emails and the “57” milestone.
• 09:40: Official start of show 342 celebration; Breathy Lady’s grand intro.
• 13:44: Montage of show 285; confusion about time and meta-commentary.
• 16:00: Post-Christmas house antics (“Your house is like a village fate”).
• 19:57: Ed and Vin discuss the Wombats and music choices.
• 20:11: John Kearns joins; discussion about “forgotten” music, Instagram weirdness, and possible show titles.
• 31:02: Matthew praises “Ambrosia Knights” as a rejected show title.
• 32:22: Plug for John’s gigs at Wilton Music Hall and Walthamstow.
• 33:36: Pitch for the “Pooh Bet” game show.
• 37:13: Rob Auton joins; discussion on names, wordplay, and “Rob Robert.”
• 38:49: Rob details his new show, “Can—An Hour Long Story.”
• 42:14: Rob admits to gaining a stone and a half on holiday due to buffets.
• 44:36: The infamous “Chupa Chup from the bogs” question for Rob.
• 46:30: Quick riff: “Doesn't The Rock look great?”
• 48:01: Rob shares knee injury and running tips; crowd-sources help.
• 53:07: “Traitorized” version of “Birdhouse in Your Soul.”
• 53:55: Outro; chaotic wrap-up referencing show structure and lack of recommendations.

Original Tone and Style

High-octane, self-effacing, frequently digressive—and joyfully irreverent. The hosts thrive in creative chaos, with an improvisational “is this still a radio show?” energy, ribbing each other, the guests, and the concept of broadcasting itself. In-jokes, awkward silences, and running gags abound (“Is this Wombats?”; strange feature pitches; surreal listener emails).

Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Crunch & Crumble: a comedy-of-errors morning show celebrating the silly, trivial, and absurd. The milestone for their 342nd—or, more importantly, their 6th “57th”—show, gives excuse for a giddy, freewheeling catch-up with John Kearns and Rob Auton, each adding layers of eccentric, Brit-comic invention.

A warm, surreal, and thoroughly British celebration of offbeat comedy and friendship, complete with odd traditions, dodgy gameshow ideas, and baffling ‘backrecs’. Tune in for confusion, stick around for the laughs.