Episode 344 – Stevie Martin / Andy Zaltzman / Flo & Joan / NDAs

Summary

Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 344 – Stevie Martin / Andy Zaltzman / Flo & Joan / NDAs

Date: January 25, 2026
Podcast Length: ~60 minutes

---

Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent Sunday morning episode, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby (Crunch & Crumble) bring four high-calibre comedic guests into the Radio X studio: Stevie Martin, Andy Zaltzman, and musical comedy duo Flo & Joan. The show zig-zags through surreal anecdotes about club toilets, failed press statements, NDAs, and ongoing riffs on food, bodily functions, and forgotten acting credits, all delivered in the pair’s signature blend of quick wit and chaotic banter.

Listeners can expect hilarious exchanges, unconventional interviews, and a bevy of memorable tangents. The tone is relaxed and mischievous, with frequent callbacks, running jokes, and a commitment to topicality (if not always to coherence).

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Banter & Listener Emails

[00:15-05:37]

• Ed and Matthew open with playful introductions.

• They read two listener emails:

  • Katie from Brighton reminisces about “Chupa Chup toilet men” and club toilet attendants, leading to a riff about gendered experiences and the bizarre rhymes sung by bathroom attendants.
    • Quote: “Freshen up your [bleep] for your boyfriend…” – Matthew ([01:45])
    • Ed: “Can I just say one thing? You freshen up for yourself, girl.” ([02:41])
  • Caroline confesses she never thought she’d use talcum powder: “Now, at 55 and having no desire to look or feel sexy, I’m slapping it all over the place.”
    • Matthew echoes support: “You go, girl.” ([04:43])

• The trio (with producer Vin) riff on childhood habits, ageing, and cross-stitching:

  • “Life’s a circle.” – Ed ([05:27])
  • “This show is an absolutely delicious circle full of wonderful scoops.” – Matthew ([05:28])

---

2. Satirical Press Statement & NDAs

[05:42-10:43]

• Ed delivers a satirical “statement” parodying celebrity press releases, referencing fake drama (Matthew cancelling Ed’s wedding dress, inappropriate dancing, etc.).
  • Ed: “Matthew hijacked my first dance with my wife...he danced very inappropriately on me.” ([06:34])
• Mock-serious discussion of NDAs (especially regarding “The Traitors” TV show).
  • “I’m on one NDA for the next decade relating to all the series...” – Ed ([09:07])
  • “You’re constantly beebing bargoed.” – Matthew ([09:43])
  • “I cannot talk to you about any BBC talent anytime.” – Ed ([09:48])

---

3. Food Riffs: Kings of Leon, Fish Finger Wraps & Cassette Tapes

[11:01-13:22]

• The Kings of Leon = “largely a ceremonial position” ([10:50]) – running joke.
• Loss and return of Leon’s “fish finger wrap,” discussing cult food items post-pandemic.
  • “If you’re not buying the fish finger wrap, you can’t complain they got rid of the fish finger wrap.” – Ed ([11:28])
• Discovery of Howard Stern mix tapes in their “cutting-edge” Radio X studio.

---

4. Guest 1: Stevie Martin Interview

[13:43-26:30]

• Introduction and Tour Promotion

  • Stevie’s Zoom background is of Ed & Matthew’s old press shot (“You looked so orange.” – Stevie, [14:59]).
  • Discussion of her tour “Clout” and playing two nights at the Bloomsbury Theatre.
    • “Fester can sell out Bloomsbury.” – Stevie ([16:00])

• Comedy Writing and Joke Density

  • “It’s got like 5,000 jokes in it... I dare you, even if you don’t like the show, you’ll laugh three times.” – Stevie ([16:27])
  • Ed: “Stevie genuinely has up there with the most amount of jokes in shows…I think your debut Edinburgh show was just like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.” ([16:44])

• Dreams, Childhood Fears & Vomiting

  • Family stories: Matthew shares his daughter’s “bum hole and Grinch” nightmare ([18:34]).
  • Stevie’s worst dream: “The Two Bettys…even now…my dad will be like, ‘Was it the Two Bettys?’” ([19:19])
  • Ed’s nightmare: “A cartoon bull flying over people and burning them to death…woke up and threw up.” ([19:37])
  • Discussion of irrational food aversions and vomiting stories, including Stevie’s dog eating something gross on tour (“I threw up on her.” – Stevie, [21:19])

• ‘Pooh Bet’ TV Show Pitch

  • Ed and Matthew pitch a show where contestants must guess who is pooing, “a bit like Naked Attraction” ([22:07]).
    • Stevie: “I think you would always be able to tell. So I think the game is flawed.” ([22:24])
  • Ed recounts a bizarre Airbnb with a toilet next to the bed ([22:58]).

---

5. Toilet Riffs & Chupa Chups

[24:33-26:26]

• Short ongoing segment: Beatles names transformed with “poo” puns (“Pooh McCartney,” “John Len-poo”).
• Matthew inquires if Stevie’s ever eaten a Chupa Chup from the bogs (“No.” – Stevie, [24:57]).

---

6. Guest 2: Andy Zaltzman Interview

[28:25-35:40]

• Taskmaster and Stand-up

  • Banter about not winning “Champion of Champions” (“It would have been ostentatious to then win champion of champions.” – Andy, [28:41])

• Political Comedy & Living in Changing Times

  • “I dream of living in a world where things just stayed the same for a couple of hundred years…hone those routines down.” – Andy ([29:20])
  • “There’s years where…about four things happen in the entire world and you think, what a blissful time…” – Andy ([29:33])

• Time Travel & Historical Sporting Events

  • Discussing which year Andy would travel to – usually for a famous cricket match ([30:26]).
  • “Most of [the years] are centred around sporting events I’d like to have seen.” – Andy ([31:25])

• Have You Ever Seen a Cricketer in a Curry House?

  • Andy recounts eating with the England team, but more “in a hotel restaurant than a curry house” ([33:16]).
  • Speculation about which cricketer would eat the spiciest curry, with in-jokes about NDAs ([33:40]).

• Embarrassment and Absurd Courtroom Scenarios

  • “When you’re being tried for multiple instances of commercial fraud, that might get a bit embarrassing.” – Andy ([37:50])

• Audience Questions

  • Andy asks, “Who writes your questions?” (Answer: Listeners and Stuart Laws, comedian).

---

7. Guest 3: Flo & Joan Interview

[39:16-49:12]

• On-Stage Self-Doubt and Collaboration

  • Initial modesty about being the “headline” guests.
  • Matthew: “You’ve got to back yourself, girls. You’re brilliant.” ([39:53])
  • Rosie: “We’ve had a chat about being more positive…” ([39:55])
  • Jokes about channeling Jane McDonald and the concept for a “British Hacks”-style cruise ship musical drama.

• Upcoming Tour 'With Feeling'

  • Uncertain about the show's content; director Tom Parry hasn’t replied to plan meetings ([42:10]).
  • Unique approach: using The Feeling’s setlist as show inspiration (“Let’s use their set list and we’ll write our own songs to [it].” – Nicola, [43:12]).
  • Anxiety about potential legal issues (“After this goes out we might not have a show anymore.” – Rosie, [44:21])

• Stars In Their Eyes Fantasy

  • Flo & Joan joke about going as Michael and Janet Jackson, “One boob out, one glove on.” ([46:11])

• Things They Don’t Really Understand

  • “I don’t know what yeast is.” – Rosie ([47:33])
  • Further discussion on the mystery of yeast and electricity.
  • “Our bodies ain't making bread.” – Nicola ([47:59])

---

8. Loose Ends & Running Jokes

[49:27-51:37]

• Listener email: Matthew discovers he was paid for acting work he didn’t do; proposes to pay the money back.
  • “I’m going to pay him the full amount. I think it’s only right that I do.” – Matthew ([50:44])

---

9. Wrap-up: TV Tangents & Self-Deprecation

[52:31-end]

• Ed and Matthew joke about pre-recording and navigating embargoes for “The Traitors” finale.
• Extended chat about spin-off podcasts, TV and streaming habits, and their waning listenership due to TV projects (like "Uncloaked").
• Amusing confusion about sexuality in TV shows, why old film techniques for sex scenes are preferable (“Eyes across a bar, then they’re in bed smoking… cut to the moon.”).
• Final recommendations and closing pleasantries.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Chupa Chup Bathroom Attendants

• “Freshen up your [bleep] for your boyfriend…” – Matthew, reminiscing about old nightclub attendants ([01:45])
• “Can I just say one thing? You freshen up for yourself, girl.” – Matthew ([02:41])

On NDAs and The Traitors

• “I’m on one NDA for the next decade relating to all the series…” – Ed ([09:07])
• “You’re constantly beebing bargoed.” – Matthew ([09:43])

Pitching 'Pooh Bet'

• “A bit like Naked Attraction…some of them are pooing, some aren’t.” – Ed ([22:07])
• “You want to be a pooer or a contestant?” – Ed ([22:27])

Dream Logic

• “She said, oh, you looked up my bum hole and saw the Grinch.” – Matthew, on his daughter’s bad dream ([18:34])
• “The Two Bettys…even now…my dad will be like, ‘Was it the Two Bettys?’” – Stevie ([19:19])

Taking the Piss Out of Themselves

• “You’ve got to back yourself, girls. You’re brilliant.” – Matthew ([39:53])
• “We’ve had a chat about being more positive…” – Rosie ([39:55])
• “I don’t know why, Matthew, but you’ve said a lot of awful things on this show that make me feel sick. I don’t know why the phrase ‘you got to back yourself, girls’ has made me more upset than anything you’ve ever…” – Ed ([40:04])

Absurdist Highbrow/Lowbrow Mix & Self-Referencing

• “Life’s a circle.” – Ed ([05:27])
• “What if you look further into your remittances and you owe him like 25 grand?” – Ed ([51:23])

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:15-05:37: Listener emails, toilet attendants, talc, nostalgia
• 05:42-10:43: Press statement parody, NDAs, The Traitors
• 13:43-26:30: Stevie Martin interview: tour, dreams, ‘Pooh Bet’
• 28:25-35:40: Andy Zaltzman interview: Taskmaster, time travel, cricket/curry
• 39:16-49:12: Flo & Joan interview: tour, inspiration, legal jeopary, yeast
• 49:27-51:37: Matthew’s mistaken pay; ethics & repayments
• 52:31-end: Closing banter; TV discussion; meta-podcasting

---

Tone & Final Thoughts

This episode encapsulates Ed & Matthew's trademark style—equal parts absurd and self-deprecating, quick with wordplay but always maintaining a welcoming, laddish energy. The show feels gleefully tangential, making the audience feel part of an in-joke-laden club, especially when recurring topics (that Chupa Chup!) keep popping up. Guests are given freedom to riff, resulting in both genuine insight into their creative processes and plenty of unpredictable, oddball side-conversations.

Memorable for its warmth, relentless silliness, and complete lack of broadcasting discipline—in the best possible way.

Transcript

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello and welcome to the Ed Gambler Matthew Crosby podcast of the radio show that we do on Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. Yes. Welcome to the podcast, everybody. We have, we've just, just finished it. We've had three, four in fact, phenomenal guests.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Stevie Martin, Andy Zorksman, Flo and Joan.

[Ed Gamble]

And Joan.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's Flo and Joan. That's four guests. Yeah, it was.

[Ed Gamble]

What.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a joy.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Good show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really, really good show. I've got a few messages here, a few emails. This is one from Katie from Brighton. Hi, Ed, Matthew and Vin. Vinnie. Vin Vimeni. Vin. Vin Veru. Are you well?

[Ed Gamble]

Not bad. How are you?

[Matthew Crosby]

She says, I thought you were.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, and that works either way.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was listening to the podcast this week and you speaking about the Chupa Chup toilet men. Oh, yeah. Plenty more chat about that in this show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, don't you worry about that.

[Matthew Crosby]

It made me think of the toilet ladies that used to be in clubs.

[Ed Gamble]

This is insight that we need.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is exactly what it is.

[Ed Gamble]

This is one of the many issues with having an all male lineup.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't get perspectives like this. They have perfumes and sing songs. Okay, now we had little rhymes.

[Ed Gamble]

Bleep this. As you wish, Finn. Yeah, we of course have. When they apply some fragrance to you. Splash for the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Or no splash.

[Andy Zaltzman]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Or no splash. No. Yes, exactly. Yeah. That is no splash. No splash. No. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cause I think splash for the. Oh, that's gonna burn. You don't want to be doing that.

[Ed Gamble]

And of course, freshen up for the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Well, here we go. This is very, very apropos because they have perfumes and sing songs. The one I remember most is to the tune of London bridges falling down my fair lady. Freshen up your for your boyfriend.

[Ed Gamble]

Why does that need to be London Bridge?

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know. Your boyfriend. Freshen up your for your boyfriend. Did toilet men have any fun songs? Okay, bye. Katie from Brighton. Did toilet men have any fun songs?

[Ed Gamble]

No, it was just the rhymes really, wasn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

It was, yeah. It was more like little splash.

[Ed Gamble]

No. Freshen up for the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Whereas no one went. No one took it out.

[Ed Gamble]

What I like about freshen up your for your boyfriend is it ends quite politely. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But you know what, Can I just say one thing? You freshen up for yourself, girl.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You've got to stop saying girl. And girls, you say it later on in the show and I didn't like it.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

I say it to my kids. I call them girl.

[Ed Gamble]

Welcome back, Vin.

[Vin]

Hello.

[Ed Gamble]

You'll really enjoy the intro that we've done so far.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really good. Do I need to edit it?

[Vin]

Nope, it's all fine.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, how do you feel about the words and.

[Vin]

Okay, well, lots of bleeps, then.

[Ed Gamble]

Lots of bleeps, Yeah. I don't think you need some bleeps.

[Matthew Crosby]

And you will, by the way, in a link that is for on air that I recorded earlier on, I said the word. So you're gonna have to get rid of that one as well. Sorry, man, sorry.

[Vin]

When was that?

[Ed Gamble]

It was just now. When you left the link.

[Matthew Crosby]

You asked me to say two things and I.

[Ed Gamble]

Cause this whole recording is that link and then this now.

[Vin]

Sort of good to see that I am useful in a way.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It felt weird, you not being in the room when we were doing this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Felt a bit, you know, like. It's like when a plane changes gears.

[Ed Gamble]

I tell you. Matthew was reading out emails and stuff, like a proper intro and it felt like, you know when you're, like, at school and you're all getting on with the homework or whatever, or you're in the classroom and then the teacher leaves for, like, longer than three minutes and you're, like, looking around going, why are we still doing this?

[Matthew Crosby]

Are we still doing this? Why are we keeping up this pantomite?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Vin]

One day this is going to happen and I'm going to come back and the studio's going to be empty and on fire.

[Matthew Crosby]

Still won't fire us.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And all our clothes are piled up in the corner and you don't know where we are.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think I. I definitely think we could go Lord of the Flies in here.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I think we could. Although we would eat Finn first.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, we would eat Finn first because there's.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, there's nothing to me. There's no point.

[Ed Gamble]

Mango.

[Vin]

I'll save me a piece.

[Ed Gamble]

That'll be your last. The last thing you do before you die. We'll pop a piece of you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Oh, save me a piece of me. This is from Caroline. Says, Dear Ed and Matthew. The thing I thought I'd never get into is talcum powder. I used to see my mother using it and cringing about how old fogeyish it was and swearing I'd never use it. Now, at 55 and having no desire to look or feel sexy, I'm slapping it all over the place. Do you know what I say? You go, girl. That's what I say to her.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't like it.

[Matthew Crosby]

You go girl.

[Ed Gamble]

More powerful. I don't say go girl, cause don't hold me on this. But I'm pretty sure it's carcinogenic and so.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Yeah, that's the reason that you don't really see. They used to call it baby powder and they were like, don't put it on a baby. Don't put it on a baby. Living in Australia, I can't stand feeling clammy and I hate my arm sticking to my side. So I'm constantly dusting myself down as the only thing I care about these days is comfort. I do cross stitching every day, embracing the old fart stage of life and loving it. Thanks for all the laughs, Caroline.

[Ed Gamble]

You go, girl.

[Matthew Crosby]

You go, girl. You go, girl. I think cross stitching is for me, that's primary school rather than the old fogies.

[Ed Gamble]

I think you come back round to it.

[Matthew Crosby]

You come back round to it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. You like soft foods?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

Life's a circle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Life is a big old circle and this show is an absolutely delicious circle full of wonderful scoops. So enjoy it folks, and we'll see you on the other side.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

The following is a statement from Ed Gamble. I have been silent for years and made every effort to keep these matters private. Unfortunately, Matthew Crosby, Vin and the team at Radio X continue to go to the press, leaving me with no choice but to speak for myself and tell the truth about some of the lies that have been printed recently. I have seen with my own eyes the lengths they'll go to to place countless lies in the media, mostly at the expense of innocent people to preserve their own facade. But I believe the truth always comes out. Matthew cancelled making my wedding dress in the 11th hour, despite how excited she I was to wear my design, forcing me to urgently find a new dress. During the wedding planning, Matthew Crosby went so far as to call me evil because me and my wife chose to include my nanny, Sandra.

[Matthew Crosby]

But you don't include your Nissanra.

[Ed Gamble]

The night before my wedding, members of the Globe, members of the global team told me that that my wife was not blood and not family. Worst of all, Matthew hijacked my first dance with my wife, which had been planned weeks in advance, to a romantic love song in front of our 500 wedding guests. Nish Kumar called me to the stage where in the schedule was planned to be my romantic dance with my wife. But instead Matty was waiting to dance with me instead. He Danced very inappropriately on me.

[Matthew Crosby]

I danced on you. I remember that.

[Ed Gamble]

And in front of everyone. I've never felt more uncomfortable or humiliated. You get the idea. Or humiliated in my entire life.

[Vin]

But when you say on you, it's like Matthew's on your head, isn't he?

[Ed Gamble]

Like a little borrower. Oh, he's on my shoulders.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was rapportehing you. Yeah. What dance moves, though?

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew and Vin have been approached by Global News for comment.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, we have.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I'm afraid there's no comment. Every time, literally every time Global News come anywhere near me, I say, get away from here.

[Ed Gamble]

You are the enemy.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. I'm so sick, sick, sick. I'm tired of working.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Happy Sunday, Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Happy Sunday to you, Matthew. Happy Sunday to you, Vin.

[Vin]

Happy Sunday.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a lovely happy Sunday here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Truly is. It truly is. And you know, obviously you did evoke quite an unhappy situation.

[Ed Gamble]

The Beckhams, the intro, yeah, they're fighting. Can I just say that's proved once and for all, you shouldn't try and riff a press statement. No, press releases have to be written in advance.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've gotta go forensic on a press statement. You simply have to.

[Ed Gamble]

You've gotta look at that statement that Brooklyn released and say a lot of it was about how he didn't wanna be controlled anymore. And it's very clear that he hasn't written a word of that.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, no.

[Ed Gamble]

According. I think he hasn't written a word of that.

[Matthew Crosby]

You believe?

[Ed Gamble]

Because that is every single word in that is a word he's never used publicly before.

[Matthew Crosby]

Totally. I would be surprised if he was even sat at the keyboard with someone stood over him.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

I reckon they said to him, look, they hand him a bit of paper and said, look, that's what you're saying.

[Ed Gamble]

And he's like, okay, press releases. So wonderful to see. So difficult to write.

[Matthew Crosby]

So difficult to write. But we do love them.

[Ed Gamble]

We love all of them.

[Matthew Crosby]

So talking of press releases.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hot off the press. We can finally talk about it. Traitors.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, Traitors, of course, concluded a fantastic finale on Friday.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

And that's all we're allowed to say about it. Because I'm still actually under the NDA because of the multiple series roll over now, surely you can. I'm on one NDA for the next decade relating to all the series about it now.

[Vin]

The finals.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no, no, no. Because think about it, there's another celebrity series there's another civilian series already.

[Matthew Crosby]

Saying that is saying too much.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Matthew Crosby]

There has been a celebrity series in the past.

[Ed Gamble]

They've announced it already.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're not allowed to talk?

[Ed Gamble]

No, they've announced it already.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right, okay. Someone's head's gonna roll head if you're telling me they announced it already. Right, okay. Someone is gonna lose their job.

[Ed Gamble]

But that's all we can say because I'm now under a constant NDA from the Beeb. Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're constantly beebing bargoed.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm beeb embargoed about any BBC show.

[Matthew Crosby]

We don't play bibimbago anymore.

[Ed Gamble]

I cannot talk to you about any BBC talent anytime. You're on Radio X right now. I have an NDA. I cannot afford to lose the job on uncloaked. This job means nothing to me. We know that.

[Vin]

Obviously. We know that.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm annoyed to be here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I ask you one question? This is quite pertinent. Are you able to tell us if there's going to be a series three of Ludwig?

[Ed Gamble]

I cannot say. You can't, Ludwig.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not worth you.

[Ed Gamble]

I cannot assess any BBC talent. I cannot say Ludwig's real name.

[Vin]

That means too much to me.

[Ed Gamble]

I may only refer to him as Mark Corrigan. I can only talk about BBC talent within the remit of other channels, things they've done on other channels. Even saying, Ludwig, I've. I've set off an alarm at the BBC. Even saying the BBC has set off an alarm at Global. They don't like you today.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, they don't like that. They don't like that. Well, thank you for keeping it global, folks.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, wasn't I think we can say wasn't it great?

[Matthew Crosby]

Wasn't it great? That's our hot take on it. Wasn't it great?

[Radio X Announcer]

Mask you crobley. And Radio Ed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio eggs.

[Radio X Announcer]

I don't know.

[Ed Gamble]

Kings of Leon. They, of course are the kings of Leon. Largely a ceremonial position.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. And so many branches are closing down currently.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it great being the King of Leon when the Farringdon branch.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Gorn City Gorn.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't.

[Stevie Martin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What a shame. What a shame. But they are the Kings of Leon, but they are not the prime ministers or presidents of Lyon. They have very little influence over the day to day running of Lyon.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. I think if the Prime Minister of Lyon says, look, we're thinking of bringing back the fish finger wrap.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

They might have to go and see the King of Lyon. Have A little shake.

[Vin]

First the Ludwig thing, and now they've got rid of the fish finger wrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

They got rid of it ages ago, but they are.

[Vin]

No, no. Did they?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the problem. If you're not buying the fish finger wrap, you can't complain that they got rid of the fish finger wrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

They got rid of the fish finger wrap, I would say.

[Vin]

How long ago?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well over a year ago. Well over a year ago.

[Ed Gamble]

This isn't like when Pratt got rid of the hot egg box, which I was buying. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Y.

[Ed Gamble]

At least twice a week. Right. You know, I was involved in the popularity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then gone after the pandemic, it was gone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Well, I can tell you now, Leon, are. They are bringing it back, though. So good news. They are bringing it back.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, wow. And that's. That's just come in now.

[Matthew Crosby]

I read an. I read an article recently. Leon has recently changed hands. And one of the things that. The new. The new Kingston.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, the new. The new hands have got fish fingers.

[Matthew Crosby]

The new hands have gone. Absolutely. The new hands are breaded. So, good, good news and bad news, but not in that order.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I say quickly, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, we are Radio X. We're a hip, happening station. Absolutely. We're at the cutting edge of technology. You know, obviously, we're not working with any sort of old technology anymore.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Because we're playing the hottest new music with the hottest fittest young DJs.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's correct.

[Ed Gamble]

So why have I walked in here today and there is an actual C90 cassette tape.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wow, that's cool. Are people sending in their demos now? Is it a label?

[Ed Gamble]

Please, can I tell you what the label is? So just in case you're wondering, all of these shows are so original here on Radio X, you know, they come up with their own ideas all of the time. Can you see what this tape says?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I can't.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Howard Stern, Volume two. No, you're kidding me. Volume two. And there's another tape here, Howard Stern, Volume One. So just in case you notice any similarities on Johnny Vaughn's show with the shock jock Howard Stern, just know he gets all of his ideas from max. Well, a 90 cassette tape, can I.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tell you now, by the way, Jonny, his stuff's up on the Internet. Yeah, you can stream it now. You can stream it. You don't have to go and buy. You know, don't get your old Fisher Price out the attic and dust off the cobwebs.

[Ed Gamble]

In a world where we're living in AI. Why is there A cassette tape of Howard Stern here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Keep it analog in 26, guys. Anyway, a very exciting show coming up. We've got a fantastic show. We've got three amazing guests. We've got Stevie Martin, we've got Andy Zaltzman and we've got the brilliant musical comedians Flo and Jones.

[Ed Gamble]

Four guests.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's four guests. It's four Scoops for Daddy.

[Radio X Announcer]

Stay with Scoop Daddy and Goujon Mustard.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X. Matthew, how do you wish to refer to our first guest of the day?

[Matthew Crosby]

Stevie Martin.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you're. I thought. Yeah, that was good. That's good. We're just going to go with name rather than any of your disgusting.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know what you want me to say, but I think I've said this to Stevie before and I upset her. But you are our first scoop for Daddy. Of course.

[Stevie Martin]

That is upsetting, guys.

[Matthew Crosby]

She doesn't like it. Listen, I don't. I don't mind listening to women.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And if they say, don't do that thing, I'll stop doing it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's one of you, you know. Yes. I'm in a.

[Ed Gamble]

But you. You will only listen to individual women and you will keep doing the same thing to all other women until they say, I don't like that. Correct.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely correct. Yes, yes, yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Stevie, welcome to the show. Thank you for joining us.

[Stevie Martin]

Thank you for having me. It's a thrill to be here.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, we should probably mention straight at the top, we are interviewing you on Zoom. You've chosen your Zoom background and your Zoom background is a press shot of myself and Matthew. And now you're tickling our chins. It's our lovely photo shoot that we had done six years ago. It was six years ago, but sort of the Capital FM big. I don't even call it Capital FM anymore.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't think it's been Capital fm.

[Ed Gamble]

It's just capital. Yeah, but it was mainly Capital presenters. So we do look quite unnaturally tanned, I would say.

[Stevie Martin]

So orange. So orange.

[Ed Gamble]

It doesn't work for us, really.

[Matthew Crosby]

Whereas you're sort of like closer to the background color. You blend in with the background. You've almost appeared as if you're from the past.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you are a normal human color as compared to us in the background there, who look like the Teletubby Sons.

[Stevie Martin]

I. I look a bit like Uncle Fester.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's absolutely very, very popular. Increasingly popular right now. Great character, Uncle Fester.

[Ed Gamble]

Great character.

[Matthew Crosby]

So if people would like to see Uncle Festa live, Stevie Clout is on tour. It's on tour. From now until April, including the Bloomsbury Theatre. Big old Bloomsbury Theatre.

[Stevie Martin]

I'm doing two. I'm doing two Bloomsbury's. And it turns out that might have been too much. First one. First one's great. Second one. Oh, come on, London.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but you know, it's the 16th and 25th of April. You've got absolutely bags of time, Stevie. This is it. You got to shoot for those extra seats. You're doing it Clout.

[Stevie Martin]

Festa can sell out Bloomsbury.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is there any truth to the rumor that you come on and you pop a light bulb in your mouth and it lights up? Is there any truth to that?

[Stevie Martin]

100%. Yeah. And then I smash it. Then I just smash it.

[Ed Gamble]

There is truth to the rumor that me and Matthew are exactly the same person. Because that was my next question.

[Matthew Crosby]

Was it?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, well, but apart from obviously, your fantastic light bulb trick, what else can people expect from the show?

[Stevie Martin]

Oh, it's got like 5,000 jokes in it. I think bare minimum, you will. Even if you don't like the show, you'll laugh three times. That is. I dare.

[Ed Gamble]

Three out of 5,000 is not a bad ratio. You know, Not.

[Stevie Martin]

No, that's not. Not enough for the ticket prize. But it's not bad. It's not the worst. Do you know what I mean? It's not the worst.

[Ed Gamble]

Stevie genuinely has, like, I think, up there with the most amount of jokes in shows. I think your debut Edinburgh show was just like an absolute, like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It was incredible. It was so good.

[Stevie Martin]

And I love three stars.

[Ed Gamble]

I love your style. No, five stars from me. Five stars from me. The only review that matters.

[Stevie Martin]

Five stars from everyone else.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So, you know, I'm looking forward to seeing this one on the 16th and the 25th. I'm gonna come to both.

[Stevie Martin]

Of course you are. Yeah.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Great.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm gonna shout. I'm gonna bring a light bulb and throw it in.

[Matthew Crosby]

But you're gonna laugh at three different jokes each time. So that's six laughs. You're getting there. Six laughs.

[Stevie Martin]

And you've got a big old good laugh.

[Ed Gamble]

Big laugh.

[Stevie Martin]

You've got a really nice, distinctive laugh. I don't know if you've got a distinctive laugh in a crowd, Matthew. Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that.

[Andy Zaltzman]

What.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you ever heard that at one of your gigs? Because. No, I've definitely been. I've definitely. I'm usually under the stage.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, good one.

[Ed Gamble]

Or up in. Up in the rafters. You look up and there's nothing there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just got a cloak over my face. Anyway, that's my life. I'm trying a new one for 2026.

[Stevie Martin]

Really good. What was your 2025 one?

[Ed Gamble]

We didn't like that one. Yeah, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

No one enjoyed that. No one enjoyed that. Right, the other way. But tickets are available from steviemartin.com hench.

[Radio X Announcer]

Old and peculiar, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hole, Celebrity Skin. Here on Radio Exit. Ed Gamble.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry, I'm just laughing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why are you laughing?

[Ed Gamble]

Because listeners won't know that sometimes Vin, before the song finishes, will tell which.

[Matthew Crosby]

One of us to speak. Yeah, yeah, he does.

[Ed Gamble]

Today he used the phrase, out of hole, please, Matthew. So I just.

[Matthew Crosby]

Finally it made sense.

[Ed Gamble]

Out of hole, please, Matthew. Vin's one of the most relaxed midwives.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I tell you very quickly, we've still got Stevie Martin here. But, Stevie, I'll tell you this story to you as well. My daughter had a dream yesterday, apparently, daughter had a dream yesterday. She said, oh, I woke up, I had a bad dream. And my wife said, what was the bad dream? She said, oh, you looked up my bum hole and saw the Grinch. That is a bad dream. That is a bad dream. My God.

[Vin]

It's the wrong season.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's absolutely the wrong season.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, where do you think he goes? The off season?

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, Stevie, have you ever had a bad dream?

[Stevie Martin]

Yeah, I used to. One of my worst dreams about when I was little was there were two puppets in the lock. Bit of a key. Commonly known as a lock.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stevie Martin]

Or a keyhole, not a lock. And they were two puppets and they were called the Two Bettys. And I woke up being like the Two Betties. And I was, like, having a complete nervous breakdown. And so then even now, whenever I'm like, oh, I didn't sleep very well, my dad will be like, was it the Two Bettys?

[Ed Gamble]

Wow, the Two Bettys is terrifying.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Betty's is really scary.

[Ed Gamble]

As a kid once I had a dream, it was like an animated dream, but like a drawing, like a kid's drawing, but it was animated. Of a bull flying over people and burning them to death with. By breathing fire.

[Andy Zaltzman]

What?

[Ed Gamble]

And then I woke up and threw up. I was sick everywhere.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was so scary. You puke?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a cartoon.

[Stevie Martin]

A cartoon bull.

[Ed Gamble]

A cartoon bull, yeah. Killing everyone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Next question. Stevie, have you ever seen something so scary it's made you puke?

[Stevie Martin]

No, but I did. Like, I threw up when I had sweet corn when I was 4 and I didn't eat it for 10 years. I'm scared of it. I think I Was just a bit ill. I don't think there was anything too sweet corn. Sweetcorn's delish.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sweetcorn's fantastic. I'm the same with baklava.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, Very similar. You won't eat it, will you? You won't eat it.

[Ed Gamble]

A little something about my upbringing.

[Vin]

We did have a listener who threw up because they saw a cruise missile.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. A listener was very scared of smooth things. They used nightmares about being on very smooth water, drowning in very smooth water.

[Matthew Crosby]

Or the surface of milk.

[Ed Gamble]

The surface of milk.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just so smooth.

[Ed Gamble]

So smooth. And then they went to the Imperial War Museum, saw a cruise missile and threw up.

[Stevie Martin]

Well, very quickly. Can I tell you about a throw up thing that happened on the last leg of the tour?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Of course.

[Stevie Martin]

I brought my dog and she. She licked something really bad that looked like chocolate mousse, but wasn't. We can all imagine what that was. And poo. And I didn't. I wanted to check because I didn't know because chocolate mousse is bad for dogs or chocolate is. I went down and she came up and the smell hit me and I threw up on her.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, what a bad day for your dog.

[Nicola Dempsey]

So bad.

[Ed Gamble]

Licks a turd and then gets thrown up on.

[Stevie Martin]

It was real bad. It was real bad.

[Ed Gamble]

It was a bad day for you, of course as well, but worse. Anyway, let's move away from all of this because we want tell you about our new idea for a TV show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So when I say let's move away from it, we're not totally moving away from it. Here's our new idea and we're wondering if you want to be on it. Stevie, in some context it's called Pooh bet. So Pooh bet. It's a little. The setup is a little bit like naked attraction. There's sort of five booths, like boxes, and you can only see the face of the person in them. So it's sort of reverse naked attraction. And three or four of them are pooing, right?

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure.

[Ed Gamble]

They're on a toilet.

[Matthew Crosby]

We don't tell you how many.

[Ed Gamble]

We don't tell you how many it's gonna be.

[Matthew Crosby]

But some of them are pooing, some.

[Ed Gamble]

Are pooing, and some of them aren't. And then as the contestant has the guests from their faces and asks them questions, which ones are the ones who are pooing? How do you feel about that?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a bit like, is it cake? Yeah, in a way.

[Ed Gamble]

And that is actually the second round.

[Stevie Martin]

I think you would Always be able to tell. So I think the game is flawed.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, so you want to be a pooer or a contestant?

[Stevie Martin]

Oh, I don't wanna look at that. I'm pooing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you not think you could poo with a completely stoic, straight face?

[Stevie Martin]

Right. I've now stayed in so many hotels where you can see your own face when you're on the loo, and I'm telling you, no, you can't. I've had. I've sort of played that with myself without the betting part. And there's something in the eyes and you can be. Every muscle in your face can be really relaxed. There's something about those eyes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I pretty sure I've told this story on the radio before, but Charlie and I once went away for a wedding. We stayed in an Airbnb. We arrived and the man who owned the Airbnb, it was like a little house on his massive mansion property. He said, I'm so sorry, the room isn't quite ready yet. You're our first people who are staying. You're our first visitors. We went up there. What he meant by it not being ready yet is there was a bed in the room and then what was going to be the bathroom, but there was no wall in between the two, so it was all in one room. So there was just a toilet in the middle of. And then obviously we went out and got very drunk. And the next morning my wife was asleep and I was in the same room doing the deed while looking at her asleep.

[Matthew Crosby]

And that's now you're married.

[Ed Gamble]

Exactly.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's brought you closer together.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And that's when I proposed.

[Matthew Crosby]

The ring was in it, wasn't it?

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

We're so sorry that the chat has mainly been fecal so far. We do apologize, guys.

[Stevie Martin]

It's. Every time I do anything, it turns into a fecal. Fecal mania.

[Ed Gamble]

Fecal mania. That's funny, actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fecal mania. Next tour, please. We've done clouds.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you remember when they got off the plane, didn't they, at Liverpool Airport and everyone started throwing the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely, yeah. They got off the plane, they dropped their kecks, everyone started throwing stuff back at them. It was brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it was brilliant. Good old fel mania.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I had one of the wigs. Yeah, the Mercy Pete wig. I got one of those. Anyway, we've got to. We're going to stay in the toilets, if that's okay.

[Vin]

Well, pooh McCartney, come on.

[Matthew Crosby]

And George, have a poo now.

[Stevie Martin]

I was honestly behind going, John Len poo.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's John Lentils. That's why he's pooing all the time.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, John is American for toilet.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course. There we go. Anyway, we're going to stay in the toilet at Stevie and ask you a question. Have you ever eaten one of those Chupa Chups from the bogs?

[Nicola Dempsey]

No.

[Stevie Martin]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a question from Stuart Laws. Why am I always standing in the thoroughfare?

[Stevie Martin]

That's so true. Because. Isn't. Isn't. Isn't. Isn't that like what's left and what's right? It depends where you are. That's not copy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hang on, we're not talking politics right now, thank you very much.

[Stevie Martin]

Sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

If you're in America, left and right are very different. Of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right.

[Stevie Martin]

Like, it's all about perspective. And I feel like Stu feels like he's always in the thoroughfare.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Stevie Martin]

So he'll always be in the thoroughfare. It's confirmation bias.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's nice.

[Stevie Martin]

Also, I'd like to make it clear that I do know my left from my right, physically, and it's not about where you stood.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I know what you mean. Left and right. And then if you turn around, left and right are the opposite to what they were when you're facing the other.

[Stevie Martin]

Not for you.

[Matthew Crosby]

There is my left or my left or your left. You do take. If you're facing each other.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stevie Martin]

And then stage, of course, stage. Like, which is difficult when you're driving.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

How many car crashes have you been involved in because you were a theatre person?

[Stevie Martin]

I had to stop driving lessons because I was so bad at my left and my right and would be like, stage, stage, stage right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, there's not a turn in there, so you can't go down that way. Stevie. The show is, of course, clout UK tour from now until April, including London's Bloomsbury Theatre on the 16th and the 25th. 5th of April. Get your tickets from StevieMartin.com. stevie, what a pleasure. What have you got planned for the rest of the day? A big poop.

[Stevie Martin]

Oh, massive. Yeah, yeah, huge. That's all I'll be doing for the whole day.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. Right, clear it out. Stevie Martin, Lovely to have you on the show. I'm sorry, this is Feeder and by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, Feeder.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't, please don't, please don't.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X. The old man and the big baby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, what a beautiful morning here in London. Oh, look at. Look at all that out there. Ah, the pigeons have Woken up, they're pecking away at the corpse of another pigeon. The circle of life.

[Matthew Crosby]

Beautiful.

[Ed Gamble]

Look at them now, pooping out the body of their friend. And then another pigeon's eating that. London town. Probably need to get out there and greet the day, don't I? What am I gonna. Oh, it started raining. Oh, it's a thunderstorm. This feels appropriate. Then a bit of lightning bolt. This is.

[Vin]

This is good.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's great.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

That's just what I've been listening to a lot recently.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Excellent.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I love it. Might walk onto that for the next tour.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you should.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It's good, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good. Man.

[Ed Gamble]

There's only two of them.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know. Aren't they talented?

[Ed Gamble]

Aren't they talented lads?

[Matthew Crosby]

Aren't they talented?

[Ed Gamble]

Just think that's what you can do with two people. And this is what we choose to.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's three of us as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I mean, Vin is powering it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, this is what you can do.

[Ed Gamble]

I was actually talking about me and Vin. We're the two people.

[Matthew Crosby]

Shut up. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Radio X Announcer]

This is the Radio X heyday.

[Ed Gamble]

Our second guest, our second scoop for Daddy. Amazing comedian Taskmaster champion. Not taskmaster champion of champions. It's Andy Zaltzman. Good morning, Andy. Good morning.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I think it's important not. Not to win too many things in life.

[Ed Gamble]

I agree.

[Andy Zaltzman]

You know, having been champion of series 18, it would have been ostentatious to then win champion of champions.

[Ed Gamble]

So I completely agree with you as someone who is also a taskmaster champion and not champion of champions. I think it is gauche to win champion of champions. And Matthew, I believe it's.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think it's ghost to go on taskmaster. I think you're absolute eager maniacs, the both of you. Yes, but of course you are. You're stand up comedians and you're back on. Andy, you're having a second thwack of the Zoltz geist, the Zaltzgeist 2026. Presumably as a political comedian, your show is constantly changing, is that fair to say?

[Andy Zaltzman]

It is? Yes. I mean, I dream of living in a world where, you know, just things just stayed the same for a couple of hundred years, really hone those routines down. But that's not what. That's not where we are at the moment as a species, I think it's fair to say.

[Ed Gamble]

So you'd want it to. You want it to pause on a good bit though, right, Right. If it stayed the same for 200 years, you wouldn't want now to be the same for 200 years.

[Andy Zaltzman]

No, that is a, that is a very, a very good point, Ed. You've made it succinctly. But, I mean, you look back through history and there's years where you look at a Wikipedia page for some year eight or nine hundred years ago, and about four things happen in the entire world and you think, what a blissful time that must have been. Just one news bulletin every three months.

[Matthew Crosby]

But there was a point, wasn't there, in the 1920s, when they said, oh, there's no news day and they're all just going to play the piano for you. That's the day we want to go. Go back to the day when nothing happened.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And somebody played the piano. I could happily live there, but there.

[Ed Gamble]

Probably was stuff happening. They just didn't care about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's fair. That's fine by me.

[Stevie Martin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

That'S also fun. What if you had to go back to a year, Andy? What year would you like to go back to within your life or outside of your life?

[Andy Zaltzman]

That's a, that, that's a tricky one. I mean, the, the problem is with, with history is it's, it's absolutely full of complete. Let me just try and pick a word that, that'll work. At this time of day. No, I've come up snake eyes. But anyway, the point stands, so whatever year you, you pick, you're going to end. I mean, this, you know, we have this sort of. Sort of rosy view of aspects of history or maybe go back to 1877 and watch the first ever test match. But then we think around the world, some terrible things were happening and also a fairly healthy chance of picking up a scratch and dying within days of a blood infection. So. So I don't know if there's a. A year I'd like to go, but I'd be quite curious to go back to, I don't know, 420 BC in Athens and see what they were doing with all their wrestling and philosophy and all that nonsense. But I. I don't know. But most, most of the years that I. When I think, what, what period of time would I like to go back to? They're largely centered around sporting events that I'd like to have seen.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And what sporting event would you most like to have seen then? Which, which sporting event of the past?

[Ed Gamble]

And me and Matthew will react to it as if we know what you're talking about.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Well, yeah, that's I mean, most of them are cricket quite early. I mean, the 1902 oval test. I'm sure you guys would love to be there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, remind me again, cricket is the. Is the long back and the hard hat.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that right?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

The long bat and the hard hat. It's a good game.

[Ed Gamble]

There's been a lot of test matches, haven't there, Andy? When do you think they're going to do the actual match?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Well, that's always keeps. What keeps people going is in that sense, that one day it will happen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, but you don't want it to happen.

[Andy Zaltzman]

You don't want it to happen.

[Ed Gamble]

They're really honing it, aren't they?

[Matthew Crosby]

One day they're gonna go, this is not a drill.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's actually gonna be the actual.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, they're like comics, aren't they? They enjoy the previews and the work in progress more than the. More than the tour itself.

[Matthew Crosby]

They want a concert to be at Mac, don't they? They want a concert to be at MacFest. That's what cricket isn't like. Andy, will you stick? Oh, by the way, Tickets are from andyzaltzman.co.uk Crunch Radio X.

[Radio X Announcer]

Is this a riddle or is this a nightmare?

[Matthew Crosby]

We normally ask our. Our guests, have you ever seen a footballer in a curry house? But because it's you, Andy's ultimate have you ever seen a cricketer in a curry house?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Well, it depends how you define curry house.

[Ed Gamble]

I didn't know which bit we were going to define there. Scene cricketer curry house.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I've seen when I was on tour with with Test Match Special in. In Pakistan, we stayed in the same hotel as. As the England team and the restaurant in the hotel was definitely serving curry. The England team was eating in there. Does that. But that seems like I'm cheating. If you mean just like a regular curry house in something, you know.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I'm not sure because I guess if.

[Ed Gamble]

You'Re going to the. Guess if you're going to, you know, South Asia, they're not going, let's go to the curry house, are they? They're going, let's go to the house.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I have had curries in curry houses with cricketers.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, well, that's good. Well then you've definitely seen.

[Matthew Crosby]

There we go.

[Ed Gamble]

Who. Who out of all the cricketers was eating the spiciest curry? Yeah.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Oh, well, I can't break confidence.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've also signed an NDA. Yeah, of course.

[Nicola Dempsey]

That's right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And that's a shame because when I Asked that question. I've never seen Vin more proud of me. He was so excited for that answer.

[Vin]

Answer.

[Ed Gamble]

Who do you think it would be then? Why don't you take a guess?

[Vin]

Are we limited, limiting it to English cricketers? Because I reckon Kevin Peterson would give it a good go, wouldn't he? He'd have a bit of bravado about him, a bit of swagger or if it's a former cricket. If it's someone that and he's working with in the commentary box now. Who's that? It's not. It's not going to be haggers. It's not going to be Tougher's tougher.

[Ed Gamble]

To have a spicy curry, wouldn't he? No, I'm only saying that because he's the one I know Toughers is just.

[Vin]

Having some cobras, isn't he?

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it?

[Vin]

I mean Swanny Swannie. Have you had a curry with Swannie?

[Andy Zaltzman]

I'm not sure I have had a curry with Swannie.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a good new question.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Have you had a curry with Swannie?

[Ed Gamble]

Have you ever had a curry with Swan? And then they can define what Swannie means.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I've not had a curry with Swan meat in it nor have I had.

[Matthew Crosby]

A curry with Treason. Wouldn't it? It'd be Treason Andy. He'd be drawn and drawn and quartered Andy. Obviously when we think of Andy's Horseman, we think of you down to club, have you? Obviously, you know, getting down with the honeys. But Andy, when you have to go to the loo to do a wee, do you ever eat one of the Chupa Chups from the bogs?

[Andy Zaltzman]

I don't think I frequent the same establishment you do Matthew, have you ever.

[Matthew Crosby]

Been into a club where normally there'll be a man there with a selection of deodorizing products and aftershaves and stuff like that and he will often have Chupa Chups as well and he'll want you to give him a pound while he washes your hands.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Well, to be honest, my clubbing career was brief, Matthew, long a long time ago. I don't remember the chopper. As far as I remember the security was a retired centurion with some sort of spear. But so in answer the question, no, I've never eaten the Chupa Chups in a toilet but look, I'm not ruling it out as something that I may dabble with in future.

[Matthew Crosby]

Something for your dotage. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X Hat Hat.

[Ed Gamble]

We've been talking a little bit about history and about the potential of time travel. But for you, Andy, which famous figure from history would you most like to bring you around from fainting?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Oh, that's a good. I mean, it's hard to look past Florence Nightingale, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's always. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But if you do look past Florence Nightingale, who would you like to bring me around for a fainting?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Leonardo da Vinci.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's nice.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Just because I'd imagine he'd have eat of while I. While I'd been out for the count. He would have invented some sort of new contraption for.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Lifting people who've just fainted. That would be not possible to build for about 400 years after he first sketched it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Andy Zaltzman]

So I think. Yeah, that'd be quite a nice.

[Ed Gamble]

He could hoist you up with one of his contraptions. Yeah, that's nice.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Oh, yeah, Michelangelo. It would probably paint a picture of me completely naked with my junk out put on a ceiling somewhere. I'm not saying that's necessarily what you want, but in terms of waking you up abruptly, seeing Michelangelo standing there with an easel and a ceiling and a mischievous look in his eye, that's probably.

[Ed Gamble]

Gonna snap you off. So. Really, any of the turtles?

[Matthew Crosby]

Pretty much. And actually, we're about to redecorate the kids bedroom, so it's a great idea. You've given me a fantastic idea for the ceiling. It's gonna be absolutely perfect. They're hu. Orton fans and I think it's.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's censored.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, fig leaves are fine. Yeah. There'll be some sort of. There'll be some sort of diaphanous bit of cloth dangling over it. I'm sure it'll be okay. We'll keep it very, very tasteful, of course. Andy, are you the sort of person that gets embarrassed easily?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Yeah, I think I probably am, yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

This question is perfect for you. What is something that shouldn't be embarrassing but yet still is embarrassing? The example. This is a Lister sent this one in. But the example that was given was it's embarrassing to your photograph taken in the photo booth when people can see your legs hanging down under the curtain. That's a little bit embarrassing, right?

[Andy Zaltzman]

I guess. You know, when you're being tried for multiple instances of commercial fraud, that might get a bit embarrassing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Talk with.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I mean, it's not happened to me, but I imagine, you know, it shouldn't.

[Ed Gamble]

Be embarrassing, should it?

[Matthew Crosby]

But it is.

[Andy Zaltzman]

I'd get a bit of a blush on in court.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not the answer we had before. It's not one we had before.

[Ed Gamble]

No, it's not. No. It's not the standard answer.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not the standard answer, but it's an answer we enjoy. Enjoyed very, very much. And finally, Andy, do you have any questions for us?

[Andy Zaltzman]

Who writes your questions?

[Matthew Crosby]

They're sort of semi listener sourced. And the rest of them are written by Stuart Laws, the comedian.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. All right.

[Andy Zaltzman]

Okay. What I want to know is, just looking at your studio, that, you know there are lots of X's there. Is that covering up? I can see four. Is that like just. Is that supposed to be a rude word? But you've censored it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Radio, the real name of Radio X, can never be revealed, unfortunately, because it's outrageously rude. It's even worse than the worst word.

[Matthew Crosby]

You'Re thinking of and that's absolutely disgusting.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And you must stop thinking about that word.

[Matthew Crosby]

Please stop thinking about that word. I can tell it's been on your mind for the entire interview. Andy Zaltzman is on Tour right now, UK and Ireland, of course. Tickets are from andyzaltzman.co.uk Radio X, Ed.

[Radio X Announcer]

Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Kasabian, Stevie. But we're not talking to Stevie right now. We've talked to Stevie already on the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show.

[Ed Gamble]

On Radio Breaks on our running order.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, that's the name of the song. We should have played it before we had Stevie Martin on. Really. But because Sabin famously don't have a song called Flo and Joan. Because Flo and Joan are our guests here. They're our third and fourth scoops for Daddy. Our final guests of the. Our final guests of the show. Welcome to Nicola and Rosie Dempsey. Great to have you on the show. Thank you for having us.

[Nicola Dempsey]

We're ending with a good one.

[Matthew Crosby]

One ending with a good one. That's the. You know, you're headlining the show. You're headlining the show.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicola Dempsey]

That's unfortunate for you.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've really. You've done a real 180 on yourself there. You started with ending on a good one and then.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but I sense there was some sarcasm in that proclamation.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got to back yourself, girls. You're brilliant.

[Rosie Dempsey]

We've had a chat about being more positive, but we haven't had.

[Nicola Dempsey]

We.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you haven't had a chat in years, haven't you?

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know why, Matthew, but you've said a lot of awful things on this show that make me feel sick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know why the Phrase you got to back yourself, girls, has made more upset than anything you've ever.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come on, girls, you gotta back yourself.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Shoulder shake.

[Matthew Crosby]

I was sort of channelling my inner Jane McDonald there.

[Rosie Dempsey]

That's a woman who I'd accept her telling me to back myself, I think.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you thought about doing a Collab with Jane McDonald?

[Nicola Dempsey]

Oh.

[Ed Gamble]

So I feel like if you wrote a song for Jane McDonald and maybe perform on a cruise ship, I think, well, I'd come on the trip for sure.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Here's the thing. I do actually think she's quite underrated.

[Ed Gamble]

She's amazing.

[Rosie Dempsey]

And how you phrase that makes me worry for what we do as our own career, that you're like, be the perfect collaboration, you two and Jay McDonald. Because I know it's almost true, but I don't need it to be true like, yet in this decade.

[Matthew Crosby]

But it could be, you know what it could be like hacks, right? You know, where you're the cool young singers and then of course, she is the elder statesman figure. You know that I think, right, Sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

A British collab.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Write this down. Right?

[Nicola Dempsey]

This is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, a British hacks, where it's you guys and Jay McDonald on a cruise ship. I'm so.

[Nicola Dempsey]

I would above her starting to do comedy songs instead of. Instead of disco classics or Sabbath.

[Ed Gamble]

This is where some of the friction comes from.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Okay, okay. Like Jane just throw in a couple of. Couple of jokes in the middle of. Yeah, I Love to Love by Tina Charles.

[Ed Gamble]

She'd be like, no, girls, I'm a serious entertainer. She'd say it like that.

[Stevie Martin]

This is it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Conflict. This is what you need. This is great. You know what? I don't even think this is comedy. I think this is a drama.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you're all right, Matthew. I think get it, get it written.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna pitch it. I'm absolutely gonna pitch it. But in the meantime, you guys are off on tour.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So tell us something to do before the warm up.

[Rosie Dempsey]

We gotta get the material ready to then pass on to the cruise.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

The show is called With Feeling.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah, it is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tell us a little bit about the show. And I'm really enjoying the bio because it's absolutely written by someone who's not gonna show you.

[Rosie Dempsey]

I was gonna say you've asked us how. Tell us about the show. And we do have nine months before it has to start. And we've got a soft two minutes at best at the moment.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah. Hazard. Tom. Your good friend Tom Perry is directing the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, fantastic.

[Nicola Dempsey]

We messaged him yesterday to say, can we get in a chat soon because we should really start talking about, you know, starting. We should really start getting this starting and going.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Nicola Dempsey]

And we need Tom to do that with us, otherwise we won't do it.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you're waiting on Tom Parry before you can tell me what the show's about?

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah, it all pins on. It all pins on Uncle Tom.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, well, I'll send him.

[Ed Gamble]

Text Tom now, see if he knows it.

[Matthew Crosby]

In a second, I'll send Tom a message and we'll find out. We'll play some music in a second. But yes, flowandjoan.co.uk, if you want to get tickets.

[Ed Gamble]

But it will be fantastic. We can say that on the show.

[Rosie Dempsey]

We have a vague idea.

[Matthew Crosby]

Give us the vague idea.

[Ed Gamble]

It's the vague idea. This is supposed to be press. Come in with the vague idea. Like it's a strong idea. You need to lie to the press.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Back up, boys.

[Ed Gamble]

Back yourself, girls.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We back ourselves so much, we've stolen another band set list and we're going to use it to write. Write our own show.

[Ed Gamble]

Love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is a great idea.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Last time, when we were. When we played Shepherd's Bush on the last tour and the night before was the Feeling, they were playing there. We picked that up when we were there and just kept it as a little like, oh, cool, we're playing the same venues as the Feeling and then had no inspiration for the show. And we're like, let's use their set list and we'll write our own songs to.

[Ed Gamble]

That's such a good idea.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a brilliant idea.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah, we're gonna have it on the back with us.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Don't give away all the good stuff, Rosie.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Well, I mean, I'm just trying to let you know that we think we know what we're doing. So, yeah, it's gonna be off on the back, really.

[Rosie Dempsey]

You're seeing what you know.

[Ed Gamble]

They're going to hear about this and they're going to. They're going to want to get involved.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Well, we did. We are. Julian, our agent went to the manager of the Feeling, but never heard back. I don't know how much of this.

[Rosie Dempsey]

We'Re allowed to say, if I'm honest.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Is that permission?

[Ed Gamble]

Does that count?

[Nicola Dempsey]

I don't think we should have even.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Said it's the Feeling, if I'm honest.

[Nicola Dempsey]

A mutual friend of ours with.

[Ed Gamble]

I reckon we could have guessed from the title.

[Nicola Dempsey]

A mutual friend of ours with Dan Gillespie Sales, who's the lead of the band. Is he the Lead, I don't know. Self appointed lead. I don't know.

[Rosie Dempsey]

This is just.

[Ed Gamble]

This is all stuff Tom Parry can.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Check on the Wikipedia next week with Tom. Someone mentioned the idea to him, a mutual friend, to just sort of let them know that we're doing it because otherwise we don't.

[Rosie Dempsey]

We've had nothing in writing and after this goes out we might not have a show anymore. Yeah, this might be about to get shut down Sunday at night.

[Ed Gamble]

So is this just your part for every. Every show you do forever moving forward is you want to get to the point where you're worried that it could be legally shut down?

[Rosie Dempsey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicola Dempsey]

One is corner. Right. The next one.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Musical comedy is the lamest thing ever. So the only way we can bring jeopardy to it is to try and like add some potential legal.

[Ed Gamble]

Legal proceedings to it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, will the show happen? You'll have to wait to find out. London, Shepherd's Bush on 21st October. On tour from September to December. And the Tickets are from flowandjoan.co.uk Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X.

[Radio X Announcer]

Every wall's a fart wall in this studio.

[Ed Gamble]

The Kooks, of course, it's Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby here on Radio X with you until 11am we are delighted to still be joined by Flo and Joan talking about their new show With Feeling on tour across the UK and Ireland September to December, including London's Shepherd's Bush Empire. 21st of October. Flo and Joan.co.uk for tickets. We've discussed briefly what the show might be about. Copying the feeling set list. Not copying, sorry, no.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Just using Inspired by playing any of their music.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, but if they say no, if they sort of throw up some real obstacles. Have you considered the Kooks as your, uh.

[Vin]

Oh.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'll tell you now. Tom Parry's left me on read. I've asked him how the show's going. No, doesn't want to talk about it. This is.

[Ed Gamble]

This is a pretty big question. If you were to go on Stars In Their Eyes, who would you be?

[Rosie Dempsey]

Do we have to go on together?

[Ed Gamble]

No, you don't have to go on together.

[Nicola Dempsey]

If we were together. Michael. Janet.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, both of you as Michael together?

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah, I'll be Janet. Okay, yeah. Michael and Janet Jackson.

[Rosie Dempsey]

One boob out, one glove on.

[Matthew Crosby]

The costume department be delighted. Really saves on fabric.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Yeah, we really got to save some money on this tour, so this will be great.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Did anyone go on Stars in the Rise and do the Wardrobe Malfunction live? I don't Believe amazing, wouldn't it? Of course. Then you could do Lenny Kravitz. I could go and do the Lenny Kravitz Wardrobe Malfunction.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you remember that one?

[Nicola Dempsey]

No, I don't.

[Rosie Dempsey]

That was a downstairs one.

[Ed Gamble]

It was a downstairs one. His jeans were so tight they completely squatted and they completely split along the crotch. Good boy.

[Nicola Dempsey]

It could just be a malfunction show.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then I did Judy Finnegan, of.

[Ed Gamble]

Course, on Stars In Their Eyes.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Black dress, white bra.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Radio X Announcer]

Jessica. Hey. And the machine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. What do you not know what it is? Okay, this is a question we ask all of our guests. Is there something that you've seen? You might have seen it many, many times, but the more you think about it, you think, well, I don't actually know what that is. We're talking about what's a mirror? What's paint? What is radio?

[Ed Gamble]

What's the Internet?

[Matthew Crosby]

What is the Internet? I know how to use it, sort of, but I don't know what it is. Nicola. Rosie. What do you not know what it is? You've both gone, actually, you started buffering. You've both gone into sort of shutdown.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Ma Rainbow Whales going.

[Ed Gamble]

You can have a shared one or you can come up with your own ones. It could be Michael and Janet. It could just be Michael Jackson.

[Rosie Dempsey]

I don't know what that is. Yeast.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love it. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I couldn't tell you.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's in loads of stuff.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Does it come from something or is it made of something? It creates.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, the body makes it yours, mate.

[Matthew Crosby]

Mine's it lousy with yeast.

[Nicola Dempsey]

The body is always the form. There must be other forms.

[Matthew Crosby]

There must be other forms. Surely it can't be one.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Our bodies can't be making bread.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, this can't be the stuff you're getting.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Our bodies ain't making bread.

[Matthew Crosby]

The stuff you're getting from the bakery aisle is not being scraped off some poor soul's body who's being yeast farmed, kept artificially yeasty.

[Ed Gamble]

It's the Kingsmill.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Shame.

[Rosie Dempsey]

In that Black Mirror episode, just the.

[Ed Gamble]

Room in the bread factory, just a screaming ill man.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Oh, a happy man.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, you might be happy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Take my yeast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, he's providing.

[Rosie Dempsey]

He can't donate platelets, but he'll donate his yeast.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's got the yeast donor card.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

In the event of an emergency, you can scrape my. You can scrape all the outside. Don't touch the inside.

[Ed Gamble]

I tell you, my favorite, though, French man's yeast.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, excuse it. What?

[Rosie Dempsey]

Crusty.

[Matthew Crosby]

So, of course the tour is with Feeling. It's a UK island tour, September to December, is it not?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. It seemed like a quick link from the French man having used.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, I was. I was moving things along for their sake. I was moving things along for reasons of promo. It's. It's With Feeling. It's UKN island tour, December, September to December, including Shepherd's bush Empire on 21st October. Flowandjoan.co.uk for tickets. What a joy having you on the show. Thanks so much for coming on.

[Nicola Dempsey]

Oh, this flies by, doesn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

It does, doesn't it?

[Nicola Dempsey]

We didn't even get to yours. What was yours going to be?

[Rosie Dempsey]

Electricity.

[Andy Zaltzman]

There we go.

[Rosie Dempsey]

Understand how birds can stand on the line and not get electrocuted.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a good point.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a really good point.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you have to come back in. We'll discuss that further.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Radio X Announcer]

The Rock Will Wax and Wayne.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've had an email in from Robert. Robert writes, happy radio boys don't mind if I do. The Matthew Crosby from Ms. Fisher's Mysteries that Matthew owes money to. Oh, bit of context for this one.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

So basically I was going through some old remittances to prove that I've made tiny, tiny amounts of money from gigs I did years and years and years ago. And I found that I'd been paid for my role as Butcher George in the. In the Miss Fisher's Mystery. And it turned out I had no memory doing this. I googled it. It turned out that wasn't me. I got paid, I think 2 pound 59 of his money.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I threw this out there into radio land and Robert's got in touch. The Matthew Crosby from Ms. Fisher's Mysteries that Matthew owes money to is a mate of mine.

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

And he's running a new Buto theater company in Melbourne. That's a Japanese theater company in. In Melbourne. So he could probably use the extra cash. I can give you his contact details if you like.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you've got to send in that money.

[Matthew Crosby]

You simply have to send him the money.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's about like five, aud.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what? Do you know what I'm going to do as well? Forget about it, because I've already. I've already paid the tax on it. Forget about it. You know, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do it. I've paid the tax in it already. I. I've also paid the agent's fees on it already. Forget all of that right, as a gesture of goodwill, I'm going to pay him the full amount. I think it's only right that I do.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what I was saying.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not his fault. Fault. Yeah, yeah, I told you that's what.

[Ed Gamble]

You, that's what I said you should do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, I know, but I'm saying.

[Ed Gamble]

So you can't go. No, forget about that. I said you should pay him the full amount and you said, no, no, no. How about this? I pay him the full amount. I thought you said I'm a good guy.

[Matthew Crosby]

I thought you said, you said you should pay him that money. And the thing is, the money that came to me was 1 pound 77. I'm gonna pay him 2 pound 59.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, that's what I thought you should do. Well, in which case that's how much he's owed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you know what? It's great to agree on stuff. Me, for me. That conversation couldn't have gone better. Yeah, because we, we could. We, we, we, we, we, we converged and then we. Yeah, we met in the middle.

[Ed Gamble]

But what if you look further into your remittances and you owe him like 25 grand?

[Matthew Crosby]

I've been through it. Yeah, listen, by the way, it, it doesn't, I, I, there's no way. I mean, he's had a big career, right, but there's, there's no other stuff.

[Ed Gamble]

There's no way he's made 25 grand.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's no way he's made 25 grand.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's no way in his 50 year career. No, I've checked it. As far as I can tell, all of the other payments are to me legit. Yeah, they're legit.

[Ed Gamble]

He owes you like 100 grand from. I don't remember when I dressed up like a dog. I don't remember when I popped out in a fountain in a garden center.

[Matthew Crosby]

If he's got that's. He's the reason I can't have an extension.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. Well, I tell you what, we're going to make contact. Yes, please, Robert.

[Ed Gamble]

That's just age.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really.

[Ed Gamble]

True.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get in touch, Robert, and don't forget, if you want to email us, it's sundayadioette co.uk thanks to all three of our guests. All four of our guests. You could say it's been a wonderful show. You're all wonderful people. Bye bye.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, there we are, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

There we are, Edward. What a fun show. Ding dong, ding dong. Another classic show. Now we're recording this. Uh, we're recording this on the Wednesday. We haven't yet. The final. The reason we couldn't talk about it is. Cause it's a prerecord because I think.

[Ed Gamble]

We really artfully skirted around the fact we couldn't talk about the traitors final because it's actually not been on yet. Yeah, but when people are listening live on the radio and hearing it on the podcast. It will have been on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, it will. It will have been on. But we're still. Still embargoed and not allowed to talk about it. As much as Vin wants to know how it ends.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that.

[Matthew Crosby]

But we're not telling you. Is it going to be Alan? Is it going to be Nick? Is it going to be. He's a little behind. He's a little behind.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry, Math. It's a bit awkward. Matthew's not been employed on this series.

[Matthew Crosby]

They've just sent me the links of the celebrity ones.

[Ed Gamble]

I keep sending him the links. Similar.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, I'll still keep writing my jokes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

To be honest, me being employed on the show and me not being employed on the show in terms of what the show actually turns out to be pretty similar, I would say.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. I think, I think you do a good job on that.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's an absolutely fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

By this let's. The way you keep the job, Matthew, is by not telling people to say, I don't add anything to the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can tell you now, the people who make that show don't listen to this. They get enough of this. They get enough. They said, you don't think that after editing an episode of Uncloak, they're thinking, you know, what I want to do to chill out is listen to Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

And Matthew Nattering all listen to them harp on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Maybe that's why our numbers have gone down so much.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. We've lost the team from Platform Media.

[Vin]

Everyone in the country is watching unclothed, so nobody's tuning in into this.

[Ed Gamble]

Fine. Fine by me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ah, that's. Yeah, that's also fine.

[Ed Gamble]

I just shuffle. Shuffle listeners around my various projects.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you've got.

[Ed Gamble]

You've.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, I mean, actually, this, this is. This has been brilliant. This, this series of. As of uncloaked. It's been really, really good. I think it's been a really, really good series. There must be people out there who are just into Uncloaks. There must be people. There's got to be people.

[Ed Gamble]

I told you, I will not be happy until Traders Uncloaked is beating traitors in the iplayer chart.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's it. Yeah, because it's.

[Vin]

It's.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're vying for the one and two spot. Very happy for them to have the.

[Ed Gamble]

Two soon, I think. I think Trade Unclosed should be the pre show, so I should interview them when they go in.

[Matthew Crosby]

What do you think is gonna happen?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, what do you think's gonna happen?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. We should do it.

[Vin]

Do you think there'd ever be a world where there's like an uncloaked. Uncloaked that Reese would host?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. What, like a sum up of everything that happened on Uncloked?

[Vin]

Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, there was for a while. I don't know if they're still doing it. I saw that there were some people doing like an Uncloaked for off menu.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, that's great.

[Ed Gamble]

So there was a podcast talking about things that happened on the podcast.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's really fun. I really like that.

[Ed Gamble]

But it's one of those ones where you go, that's a funny idea. But then they probably sat down to do it and went, what are we up to?

[Matthew Crosby]

How can we do this? Yeah, My niece does a brilliant. I'm considering it an unofficial offshoot of Uncloaked. She does Martha fully cloaked, which is. And so after each episode, at about sort of, you know, 10 o' clock at night, I get sent a little recording. They're about three, four minutes long. And it's her giving her immediate response to the show.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's all.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's so brilliant, it's so funny, it's so fantastic. She's got a format point called Shipping Forecast. The people she's shipping at the moment.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's good. She's like, oh, we wouldn't be allowed to do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, we can't do. Exactly. I've literally said to. I've said. I've said to her, you do all the stuff that we wish we could do, but the shipping forecast.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, I love the shipping forecast. Forecast.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really? I won't say issues into. Because it'll be a spoiler. Yeah, but. But yeah, it's really good. That's my bake wreck. That's my. Yeah, yeah. Traitors. Traitors Uncloaked. And of course, Martha fully cloaked. Quite hard to get your hands on. Yeah, but it's very, very good.

[Ed Gamble]

Dm. Matty.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Are you not watching the gay hockey show?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I haven't started watching the Internet.

[Ed Gamble]

Really wants me to watch the gay Hockey show. My algorithm is all, why aren't you watching the gay hockey show?

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm familiar with the gay hockey show. Yes. I've not. I've not yet.

[Ed Gamble]

Heated rivalry, it's called.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. That's right.

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

Where is it on?

[Ed Gamble]

What? Where What?

[Matthew Crosby]

Where is it on?

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's where, where now? Tv. I think that might be fair to say.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

But no, it's mainly. My algorithm is like, it's like talking about heated rivalry. People saying, you got to watch heated rivalry. Catherine Bohart and Olga Koch are doing a podcast about heated rivalry called tonsil hockey. Once you come up with that name, you've got to do the podcast.

[Stevie Martin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know if it's my sort of thing. It just looks quite sort of like romantic and fully bang bang.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And you're not. It's not really my sort of thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not really your vibe.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Regardless of which gender is which gender.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Even. I mean, there's a new series of Industry and I don't know if I can hack it.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's a. There was a lot of. I mean, I watched a bit of that first series of Industry. Everybody's always, well, I've seen all of.

[Ed Gamble]

The series of Industry, but I feel like such an old man. Very old fashioned. I do just feel there's never really a need for a place. What's the point?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, what's the point?

[Ed Gamble]

Why can't we do it like they used to do it? Eyes across a bar, then they're in bed smoking.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. That's it.

[Vin]

Train going into a tunnel.

[Matthew Crosby]

Train going into a tunnel. Yeah. They're smoking in a bedsheet that for some reason is L shaped.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. So it cuts away to the moon.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. That's all you need.

[Ed Gamble]

We get it right, you've done it. So how does that impact the story? We don't need to see how you did it. Which. Yeah, which you were where you were compared to the other person.

[Matthew Crosby]

We don't need it. And also like, you know, the last show I watched.

[Vin]

Unless it's like Team America, obviously.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, yeah, that's a different thing.

[Vin]

Really extends that scene.

[Ed Gamble]

Sure.

[Matthew Crosby]

The last show I watched that was like. Absolutely. I remember being wall to wall episode. Was that normal people. It just made you feel so sad.

[Ed Gamble]

I just watched industry, so I was like, I'm not watching. I've had to shut my blinds for the whole of lockdown, so can you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. Doing that.

[Ed Gamble]

Just think also I got to watch.

[Vin]

I've just.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've just finished a big, big old sec. Open the blinds, turn the tell off.

[Ed Gamble]

And close the time off. I'm red raw.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Neighborhood watch is going cock a hoop over here.

[Andy Zaltzman]

What.

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you watching at the moment, Vin?

[Vin]

I don't think I've got anything new to recommend.

[Matthew Crosby]

Still going back to the old favorites.

[Ed Gamble]

I love the old classic.

[Vin]

Because it's Wednesday when we recording this, I want to start. I'm going on a stag do this weekend.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh.

[Ed Gamble]

So it's helpful that we're recorded. Yeah.

[Vin]

And we're gonna. Well, my plan is that we're gonna watch the Talking Heads film. Stop making sense.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, fantastic. Well, you know. You know what? If you love the Talking Head film, then come along to the. Wherever that place is that I'm doing the podcast about it.

[Vin]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

On the 27th of February. Yeah. This album. Yeah. Tickets available from event.

[Vin]

But will that be as good as watching the film?

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, it won't be as good as watching. So I think I'll watch. It's not like. It's not like Uncloaked, which is better than watching the Traces. This is not. This is not. This is Gonn. Poor cousin to the Jonathan Demi movie.

[Vin]

But longer.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Oh, my. Much, much longer.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Much, much longer.

[Vin]

I would like to see you in this. If you do wear the suit. I'd like to see you in the suit.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, well, every try and source like that on Matthew. Try and source. A big suit and a stick. Yeah. Great.

[Ed Gamble]

I was gonna say there's a new series of WWE Unreal, which is the WWE documentary series.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Which follows the sort of behind the scenes of how they came up with some of the big storylines of the last year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, great.

[Ed Gamble]

And I would recommend. Yeah, yeah, I think you don't need to. I don't think you need to watch the characters.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't need to.

[Ed Gamble]

You'd probably enjoy it.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think I would enjoy that a huge amount. All right, I'll watch that. Unreal. Great. Fantastic. Well, have a wonderful week, everybody. Do you want to say. Do you want to end it with. By saying stay faithful?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no, no, no. NDA.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course, the NDA. Yes. Stay faithful. Or traitor. Or faithful. Or traitor. Or faithful.

[Stevie Martin]

Or traitor.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not even allowed to say those words.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're not even allowed to say that. Anyway, have a wonderful week, everybody. So Sunday at RadioX Co UK if you want to send us an email. Bye bye. Gray D O X.