← Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X
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- [00:03]
Matthew Crosby
This is a Global Player original podcast. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X. Hello, everybody, and welcome to the podcast of the radio show that Ed Gamble and I do on Radio X on a Sunday morning. This is the podcast version of it. Now, Ed Gamble isn't here. We're joined this week by the brilliant Ivo Graham. Hello, Ivo.
- [00:24]
Ivo Graham
Hello, Matthew.
- [00:25]
Matthew Crosby
How you doing, man?
- [00:26]
Ivo Graham
I'm very well, thank you. And we can say that we're halfway through doing the show.
- [00:30]
Matthew Crosby
We always are when we record these intros. We're halfway through. Through. It's. It's nearly half past nine.
- [00:35]
Ivo Graham
I'm pretty pleased with how it's gone so far. I think me too.
- [00:38]
Matthew Crosby
The listeners are in for a real treat this week. They really are. They really are. We've got a few. A few emails. Ivo, are you familiar with the.
- [00:48]
Ivo Graham
Men.
- [00:48]
Matthew Crosby
Who stand in you? I mean, obviously, as king of clubland, we talk about this later. The men who stand in toilets and sort of maybe sing you a little song or do a little rhyme for you.
- [00:58]
Ivo Graham
I was listening to this episode on my drive back from Welling Garden City last night and I couldn't believe how many times you said a word that presumably assumed you'd have to bleep if I said it as well.
- [01:06]
Vin
Oh, well, I'd like to hear the word in that case.
- [01:09]
Ivo Graham
I believe the word was.
- [01:12]
Vin
Surely that didn't go out, did it go out?
- [01:15]
Ivo Graham
Well, I mean, you kept saying.
- [01:16]
Vin
No, I think it must have been bleeped at the time.
- [01:19]
Matthew Crosby
Was it bleeped? Yeah, okay, fine, fine. Was.
- [01:23]
Vin
It's bleeped.
- [01:24]
Matthew Crosby
Vin had a genuine panic there. Yeah, he has to go.
- [01:26]
Ivo Graham
I mean, well, now I'm worrying that it was bleeped and it was. It was something else.
- [01:29]
Matthew Crosby
No, no, no, no, it was.
- [01:30]
Vin
You're absolutely.
- [01:31]
Matthew Crosby
You're absolutely right. That was the word. Anyway, we've got more of that.
- [01:33]
Ivo Graham
Sorry, I was trying, know, my enjoyment of the episode I'd listen to, but it feels like a critique.
- [01:38]
Matthew Crosby
No, no, not at all, not at all. Rachel Fitzgerald from Andover writes dearest Crunch Crumble and producer. Insert name here, surely. Come on, come on. We could have gone Vincert name here, but insert name here as we never know if he has been work or not. Ah, you know what? Yeah, yeah, I jumped. I jumped to a conclusion too soon there, Rachel. You did that very well. Happy radio, lads. Don't mind if I do. My favorite female toilet attendant was one in Magaluf back in my fun years who would spray perfume while saying clean your for the pole.
- [02:10]
Vin
Oh, right, okay then.
- [02:14]
Matthew Crosby
There's not a single word in that you need to bleep, right?
- [02:16]
Vin
No, but I will anyway.
- [02:17]
Ivo Graham
I can't sometimes I just do.
- [02:19]
Matthew Crosby
You can't bleep both words because it makes it sound funny.
- [02:23]
Vin
The second one.
- [02:23]
Matthew Crosby
Bleep the second one.
- [02:24]
Ivo Graham
I believe that in this show, as you'll find out shortly, I'm not allowed to say the word and we're here.
- [02:31]
Matthew Crosby
Anyway, on a thickest listener note, I meant to send this in before Christmas, but having my newborn baby scrambled and already thick brain with baby brain. Back when I was a chef, I worked for my cousin in his pub and it was during Christmas time so I was working 18 hour days. On one of those days our cleaner called in sick and my cousin got me to also do all the cleaning first thing in the morning before starting my super long kitchen shift. While cleaning I noticed a light bulb was out so I thought I would change it. However, I didn't know if it was bayonet fitting or. Or a screw in my. Oh no. In my tired thick state I decided to run my finger on the inside of the empty socket to see which one it was and was instantly thrown from one side of the bar to the other. My cousin, who was also my boss, found me on the floor after my electric shock. I asked him if he'd like me to fill out an accident book, to which he replied, no, I don't want the regional manager to know that my cousin is an idiot. Shocking behavior. Lovely stuff. Good luck. In the charts this week, your loyal subject, Rachel Fitzgerald from Andover. Fantastic. I really enjoyed that. I really enjoyed that. Again, that's another kind of. That's another classic. Mistakes at work. We can also have that for mistakes at work. This one is disgusting by the way. This one's really appalling. This message from Joanna. Hi Blueberry, the cake skin and vin. I once had a dream that Claire balding strapped me to a chair and force fed me smoky bacon flavored jelly. Oh, it wasn't well set and it was luminous green, but the thing that stuck with me was the smell. It was stomach churning. I genuinely didn't eat the next day until like 3pm Because I just kept thinking of Claire and her runny jelly. Anyway, later that week my dog farted and there was the smell. I can only assume I was fast asleep. Dog came in, stunk the room out and somehow my brain added Claire Baldong into the mix. Or Claire Baldong as she called it here, which I like. Isn't that so funny? Bless you, Joanna. Poor old Claire. She's really been thrown to the dogs there. She's not. Not fair at all. And this fight, this final one I'll do for. From. From Connor, which I really enjoyed because, well, you'll see why. Hello, Ed. Matthew and I bring you flowers in the pouring rain.
- [04:46]
Vin
Yes. Big Banger.
- [04:47]
Matthew Crosby
Huge, huge tune. And you know, I do think that when we've got a different producer in. As much as I love Harry or producer Joe or Will, I do think living without Vin is driving me insane. So in the spirit of all Texas being a player, I thought I'd answer. Do you remember this text to Vin? Who did you use to look like? It's a good one.
- [05:07]
Vin
No.
- [05:08]
Matthew Crosby
One of the things I like about this show is I've got to know, but who did you used to look like? Is it really good? Do you ever get any lookalikes, Ivo? Is there anyone who people say, oh, you're a spit for that? Apart from, obviously you're spit for that, Ivo Graham, I'm sure you get my.
- [05:24]
Ivo Graham
Second ever gig in January 2009 and my first gig in London. Came to London from. From uni to do a gig for a lovely man called Broderick Chow.
- [05:32]
Matthew Crosby
I remember Broderick. Yeah, great comic.
- [05:34]
Ivo Graham
And he put a picture on the poster of the recently beaten X Factor finalist, Owen Quigg.
- [05:39]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yes, absolutely. I love it. That's who you used. That's who you used to look like, which is our texture, of course, but.
- [05:47]
Ivo Graham
So damning of like a very specific moment in time.
- [05:50]
Matthew Crosby
Who did you used to.
- [05:50]
Ivo Graham
Yes, I remember there was a brief excitement in our. In our friend group a few years ago because one of our friends lived quite near Diana Vickers. So we'd occasionally see. Diana Vickers.
- [06:00]
Matthew Crosby
That's right, yes.
- [06:01]
Ivo Graham
And it was mad that I heard the name and I had this sort of momentary flutter of like, entitlement, as if like, oh, yes, my girlfriend. Not my girlfriend, of course. I just looked a bit like Owen Quigg to the comedian chap.
- [06:17]
Matthew Crosby
So Connor Sundays. In my mid-20s, I got told occasionally I looked like Ryan Gosling.
- [06:23]
Vin
Ah, that's the reason for sending this.
- [06:25]
Matthew Crosby
Email in, isn't it?
- [06:26]
Vin
Well, that's all that that is.
- [06:27]
Matthew Crosby
No, no, no, no. Cause there's more to it. In my late 30s, I've been told I resemble and have once been approached for an autograph by someone thinking I was Joe Wilkinson. You've had a tough life, haven't you?
- [06:42]
Ivo Graham
The other way around is one of the great glow ups.
- [06:44]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, absolutely.
- [06:45]
Ivo Graham
I feel like we're chucking our dear friend Joe under the bus a bit there, but Gosling is, you know, a good answer on the board for most attractive men in this.
- [06:53]
Matthew Crosby
I think he's an A list dish. And Joe got cast in the advert because it's absolutely, utterly unlikely that he would ever kiss a pretty girl. That was his. And Joe is one of my oldest. My oldest friends in comedy. One of my dear. One of my dearest pals.
- [07:07]
Ivo Graham
We all went up for that ad.
- [07:08]
Matthew Crosby
We don't, of course, crucially, you just. You're just too. You just look too much like Owen Quigg. My dad more than once has been approached for autographs by people thinking it's Liam Neeson. So maybe that's my next evolution.
- [07:21]
Vin
Okay.
- [07:22]
Matthew Crosby
I mean, do you know what? That's back to Hollywood a Listers again, isn't it? Isn't that so funny? God bless you. That wasn't a real texter, or was it? Oh, he's absolutely done us there. Well, Connor, I can tell you now, we're never gonna check. We're never gonna check.
- [07:36]
Vin
No way of knowing.
- [07:36]
Matthew Crosby
No way of knowing was that a real texter if it wasn't a real texter.
- [07:39]
Vin
Well, let's do that. Let's do that next week.
- [07:41]
Matthew Crosby
We'll do it next week. Who did you used to look like?
- [07:44]
Ivo Graham
Incredible.
- [07:44]
Matthew Crosby
Who did you. I really like it. Anyway, easy show to work on.
- [07:51]
Ivo Graham
A show with a vast hint of land that no one actually remembers.
- [07:54]
Matthew Crosby
We're either repeating this or we're doing it for the first time. Nobody. Nobody knows. I thought that the other day about intros. I thought, if I did an intro from six years ago, who's gonna remember? Who's gonna remember? Would you remember if I did? Well, no, I can tell you you won't remember because either this is. This is wild. I did a. I did a Willy Wonka, you know, like a Willy Wonka intro for the show, right? Where I pretend to be Willy Wonka and talking about all the wonderful sweets we can buy. And I was called like something like Billy Bing Bong or something like that. And I said to Vin, have you got the. You know, come with me, and we'll be on the system. And he said, yeah, but it's only recently been put on there. And I went, oh, no. And this is. This, by the way, is 7:45 on a Sunday morning. And I scroll back through, and about six months earlier, I did Willy Wing Wong. So it was. That was. How good is a good idea?
- [08:48]
Ivo Graham
Forever. Absolutely.
- [08:49]
Matthew Crosby
We still did it. Of course we still did it.
- [08:51]
Ivo Graham
I'm sure we did.
- [08:51]
Matthew Crosby
Of course. What else are we going to do? Apologize. You should do it next week.
- [08:54]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, Billy Big Bong.
- [08:59]
Matthew Crosby
I will do a Willy Wonka next week. Why not? Why not? Absolutely. Great. All right, folks, here's the show. Enjoy it. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Ray D.
- [09:10]
Ivo Graham
O X.
- [09:13]
Matthew Crosby
Good morning from a rainy central London for what's already shaping up to be a thrilling audio transfer deadline day. It's been a week of frantic phone calls, late night medicals, and many hours moving photos around on a table like they used to do on X Factor. The headline grabber tonight was Radio X's Chris Moyles joining the My Therapist Ghosted Me podcast. Looking forward to seeing how the lead striker handles his first conversation with a woman. Other power plays include Richard Osmond of the Rest Is Entertainment replacing Steven Bartlett as host of Diary of A CEO. Richard will be sitting down with various industry leaders and mistakenly thinking they care about the title of his next Thursday Murder Club book. Spoiler alert. It's called Crime Codgers. Slightly closer to home, the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show on Radio X has loaned out Ed Gamble to America. He'll be co hosting the Call Her Daddy podcast as soon as he's learned to say the title without retching. In the meantime, Matthew Crosby will be joined by Ivo Graham on short term loan from that podcast where two posh boys talk about music. I believe it's called Top of the Pops. Good luck to Ivo as he attempts to riff with someone who doesn't come from money. And best of luck to Ed on Call Her Daddy. Let's hope he doesn't accidentally ask Michelle Obama what's the biggest pig she can imagine? Or stop a riveting chat with Kim Kardashian to say, this is the Foo Fighters, Radio X.
- [10:41]
Ivo Graham
Ed Gamble and Matthew.
- [10:42]
Matthew Crosby
Crosby with Ivo Graham. Radio X. It's Ivo Graham. Very, very exciting. It's great to have you here, Ivo Matthew. Infrared gamble. Of course. Ed's off on his. Off on his holidays. He keeps saying it's not a holiday, but it is a holiday because he's always talking about the restaurants and hotels he's going to stay in.
- [10:59]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, his life is disgusting. It's a disgusting life. An honor to sign. Sign on the dotted line with minutes to go. I'm holding my scarf, my Radio X scarf. Shaking hands with Chairman Vin.
- [11:10]
Matthew Crosby
Well, I can tell Chairman Vin, though, does sound like a dictator. Really? Now you say it.
- [11:14]
Vin
Thank you.
- [11:15]
Matthew Crosby
Which he is. Of course he is. Yeah. When I had to write an intro for transfer deadline, I Mean, everything that's in there is all of my knowledge of transfer deadline, which is that football. And actually what happened for the listener at home or in your car or wherever you're listening in radio land after that, as we were playing the music, of course, because I'd started the topic of conversation about football. Ivo and Vin just had a chat about football and I had to sit here on my own radio show, Junior Hoyler.
- [11:41]
Vin
Who'd have thought?
- [11:42]
Matthew Crosby
Talking about Junior Hoylett. And of course I remember that Can't Stop the Beat. But that was Junior Hoyle, wasn't it? I remember that song. But apart from that, Matthew, I drew a blank.
- [11:52]
Ivo Graham
It was a relevant anecdote about taking our mutual friend, Cardiff's Gwynne Davis to watch Swindon because he loves Junior Hoylett so much. It was a story about friendship.
- [12:00]
Matthew Crosby
It was a story about friendship. It's never. This is the thing, it's never about football. It's always about something bigger.
- [12:05]
Ivo Graham
It's all about men's feelings.
- [12:06]
Matthew Crosby
It's always about men's mental health. It's great to talk about it. But, yeah, all of my knowledge of transfer deadline day sort of begins and ends with that intro that I've written.
- [12:15]
Ivo Graham
Yeah.
- [12:15]
Matthew Crosby
I know nothing of it, but is it a thrilling day for you, transfer deadline day? Did you. Because it was this week. It was very exciting.
- [12:22]
Ivo Graham
No, Swindon had a good one and we needed a few more bodies through the door, so that went well. But I think at that lower end, it's not, you know, in the Premier League where colossal sums of money. I remember in 2011, I was working in Paris on my year abroad as an exchange student, and we'd done a.
- [12:42]
Matthew Crosby
Transfer deadline over to.
- [12:44]
Ivo Graham
On transfer deadline day. Weirdly, I was back in England because I was sort of helping chaperone the school out into England. We were staying at an Airbnb in Mottingham.
- [12:52]
Matthew Crosby
Very close to me. Very close to me.
- [12:54]
Ivo Graham
Listen, if things had been different, we could watch the fireworks. And by if things had been different, I mean just if it had been a different time.
- [12:59]
Matthew Crosby
A different time. And crucially, around November the fifth. Yeah.
- [13:03]
Ivo Graham
And instead I remember it was the night that. And again, why are we talking? You don't care.
- [13:07]
Matthew Crosby
I'm not gonna.
- [13:08]
Ivo Graham
Carroll and Luis Suarez.
- [13:10]
Matthew Crosby
No. However this story ends, I'm not gonna. I'm just gonna. I'm gonna nod and I'm gonna give you double depos and I'm gonna play the Arctic Monkeys. Let's do that. Now then, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham. Radio X. I can see it from here. Arctic Monkeys opening night. And I've just realized why I like that song so much. It's got more than a whiff of the Steely Dan. About Steely Dan, honestly, why would you do that? Because once you hear it, you can't unhear it.
- [13:42]
Vin
I'm enjoying that song.
- [13:43]
Matthew Crosby
It's Matthew Crosby and it's Ivo Graham. We're playing Arctic Monkeys A because it's brilliant, B because it's brand new and C, because Ivo Graham, you are obviously Ivo Graham is one of the kings of clubland, aren't you?
- [13:56]
Ivo Graham
Oh, that's very.
- [13:57]
Matthew Crosby
One of the kings of clubland. And you've been organizing some live nights, some club nights based also to commemorate the first ever Arctic Monkeys album.
- [14:07]
Ivo Graham
It was 20 years. And if you can't celebrate that anniversary in Radio X, where can you?
- [14:13]
Matthew Crosby
Radio X. We've got to talk about the Arctic Monkeys. We simply have to. Earlier on we played their new song opening night from the Help album. But you like to go a little bit further into the past when it comes to the Arctic Monkeys. Tell us about what you've been up to.
- [14:28]
Ivo Graham
I'm afraid so. Nostalgia is a disease.
- [14:31]
Matthew Crosby
It really is, isn't it?
- [14:32]
Ivo Graham
Super spreader event for the ages. That was my announcement at the start of the night. 20 years of whatever.
- [14:38]
Matthew Crosby
You could say that at the start of most of our shows as well. Because if it's not the playlist, it's my anecdotes. Nobody wants to hear about the Kenny Everett video show. Matthew.
- [14:47]
Ivo Graham
We used to love that Steely Dan comparison in the last season.
- [14:50]
Matthew Crosby
I was playing it to Vin. We could talk about. Really does sound like something off of the Royal Scam.
- [14:56]
Ivo Graham
And I've got to apologise because I got my 2011 Liverpool transfer deadline day wrong. It was Torres, not Suarez. Anyway, I'm amazed you didn't pick me up on that. Matthew. That was obsessed.
- [15:06]
Matthew Crosby
Because you're a guest. I was biting my tongue. That's what it was. I just. I thought it's not fair in his first link to lace him like that.
- [15:14]
Ivo Graham
Very good of you.
- [15:15]
Matthew Crosby
Anyway, yes, you organized some club nights based around the 20th anniversary of their debut album.
- [15:21]
Ivo Graham
Well, we're in our 20 year anniversary era and it's.
- [15:26]
Matthew Crosby
Speak for yourself. I'm doing the 35s at the moment.
- [15:29]
Ivo Graham
Do you go to a lot of full album plays?
- [15:31]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, I do.
- [15:32]
Ivo Graham
Obviously been to a place.
- [15:33]
Matthew Crosby
Because you can't take a chance. You simply cannot take a chance on bands these days. If a band has been around for 40 or 50 years. You can't take. If they come out and say, hey, it's great, we've got a brand new album out, you're like, oh, no, what have I done here?
- [15:48]
Ivo Graham
Well, that's obviously a bit of a shame for, you know, the notion of human creativity, but you're right. Sometimes you want to know exactly what you're getting. And the Arctic Monkeys, you know, this new song is great and we'd love there to be more stuff, but they've been fairly dormant for, you know, a few years, and their last couple of albums have been at the jazzier end of the spectrum. And even when they did their last tour a few years ago, there were few complaints that even. Even the older songs, they were playing them in the new louche style.
- [16:14]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, absolutely.
- [16:14]
Ivo Graham
People weren't getting to enjoy the club.
- [16:16]
Matthew Crosby
Singer style as popularized by Vic Reeves.
- [16:18]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, no one enjoyed Vic Reeves. Mardi Bum. Quite. So, I thought for the guarantee of getting the album in full, for the respect for the anniversary, for what the album meant at the time to so many, and for the respect for the full album format, I thought let's. Let's have a club night where you play the whole thing in order. So that's the centerpiece of the night, because there are so many songs on that album that I've never seen live or probably never get to see live. There's a song called you probably Couldn't see for the Lights, but you were looking straight at me writ to the rubble. Even a song called Perhaps Vampires is a bit stronger. That was the most divisive, I would say, best one. That's the best bit, Vin. A provocateur to his.
- [16:57]
Vin
The most proggy one.
- [16:58]
Ivo Graham
Yeah. Well, you'd have been so welcome in the center of the pit, Vin, if you weren't on a stag, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah. Vin. Missing one Laddie event for another.
- [17:06]
Vin
That's spot on.
- [17:07]
Ivo Graham
But.
- [17:08]
Matthew Crosby
So that was. That was the song where mo. That was the. That was where the bar was busiest and the loos were full. Is that. Was that fair to say?
- [17:14]
Ivo Graham
I played a clip on the screen of celebrity Big Brother 2006 as a sort of like, if you're not too fussed about vampires, why don't you watch these clips of people? George Galloway. Whereas for all the other songs, I showed the respect of playing either the official music video or some live footage of it. But actually, my friend Tom Lambert, the advocate, he made it his personal mission to make Vampires as much of a ruckus as Possible. And there's a very, very long instrument. A biarch in Monkey Stan is quite a long instrumental. Can I say wig out? I think I can.
- [17:41]
Matthew Crosby
You can say wig out, absolutely.
- [17:43]
Ivo Graham
Of course, you're waiting a long time for someone to shout, all you people are vampires. But we whipped the room into a pit and it was absolutely fantastic.
- [17:51]
Matthew Crosby
Did you at any point sort of pop on a big pair of chompers and say, thanks for coming, everybody? Surely that's, you know, if I'd been there, I would have twilighted it up. Of course. I would have gone all twinkly and said, thanks for coming, everybody.
- [18:05]
Ivo Graham
I'd love to say. Matthew. This was a night about music, not about fancy dress. But there was also a strong fancy dress element. I insisted that for later parts of the night where we played more recent Arctic Monkey song, people wear T shirts and ties for the song. Brian Storm, of course, ideally bring a leather jacket and sunglasses for anything off their 2013 album AM I bought a leather jacket specially for the occasion.
- [18:23]
Vin
Did you?
- [18:25]
Matthew Crosby
How many, like, were there people handing around cigarettes so they could have a photograph that looks a bit like the front cover?
- [18:31]
Ivo Graham
I tried to set up that photo booth but there wasn't room in the venue and it was due to sort of bad messaging.
- [18:35]
Matthew Crosby
I went to a Smith tonight where they had a sort of big. A black and white picture of the Salford Lads Club that you could pose in front of.
- [18:41]
Ivo Graham
Fantastic.
- [18:42]
Matthew Crosby
Including, if you really wanted to go for it, a hairdresser. So who would give you the proper old Morrissey flat top if you wanted it.
- [18:49]
Ivo Graham
Oh, wow. But you're too old. Headmasters.
- [18:50]
Matthew Crosby
Yes. Still, I've got. I'm loyal to Jackson at Headmasters. I refuse to do it, but yeah, it sounds like a British. It sounds like an absolutely wild night.
- [18:59]
Ivo Graham
I had a lovely time and I think a lot of people, I think, got what the night was about. I liked having a strong chronological format. We spent the first hour building up to the album, listening to early noughties, Bangers, then whatever in full, and then a little bit of favourite worst nightmare, Dandelion and Burdock, the carbonated soft drink referenced in the song Suck It In Sea. We gave out those when we played Sucker Than Sea at half past eleven, put on our shades for AM at midnight, skip through the jazz club jazz stuff as quickly as possible and then we finished. Our one non chronological thing was we went back to the very start and finished with the song Leave before the Lights Come on, which is a lovely 2006 sort of extra track. Or B side.
- [19:39]
Matthew Crosby
This sounds genuinely amazing.
- [19:41]
Ivo Graham
That's very good of you to say, Matthew. Well, I can proudly say that we are booked in already for 20 years of favourite, worst nightmare, May 2020. Really? I didn't promote the last one nearly enough so I'm compensating by starting a 15 month lead up to this one.
- [19:54]
Matthew Crosby
Fantastic. You heard it first. Tickets available from ivograham.com not yet. Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. We've been talking a lot about going to gigs, going to clubs. Vin, you pointed out that there's a sort of tradition around I with stage stage diving. The times we've seen Ivo, someone has stage dived at some point. Crucially, we should say this, not at any of your stand up gigs. It's never gone a gig, has you've never, you've never roofed a gig so hard that you thought, I reckon these seated individuals could take it if I sort of took flight here, I suppose.
- [20:33]
Ivo Graham
In conclusion, private school education has pros and cons. Okay, in we go.
- [20:39]
Matthew Crosby
Whips his top off straight into row C. Yeah.
- [20:42]
Ivo Graham
Cause I stage dive magnificently at the Village Underground in Shoreditch during what song.
- [20:48]
Matthew Crosby
It was I Believe in A Thing Called Love by the Darkness. But I will say you're very kind, but I think let's say magnificently the second time, the first time I just disappeared into the audience. I was swallowed up like it was the Ranco. It was just.
- [21:00]
Vin
You fell on your wife?
- [21:01]
Matthew Crosby
I fell on my wife. Exactly, exactly. And you know, I love my two kids very, very much and I'm very, very pleased to have them. But yes, I did. They were both, they were both conceived simultaneously at that club night in Shoreditch. But yeah, I fell, I fell on my wife. And I also fell on Tom Crane's wife as well. But less said about that the better. But yes, I. I staged. I stage dived the first time, disappeared into the ground. Second time I took a sort of backwards leap of faith and decided I've got, you know, I sort of stood like Christ the Redeemer with my arms outstretched and fell backwards onto the ground. And that was the most successful stage dive I did. But you said there was another one, Vin.
- [21:40]
Vin
Well, we went to see King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.
- [21:42]
Matthew Crosby
We did.
- [21:43]
Ivo Graham
On your recommendation. I'm so grateful. I don't think I'd have known about or gone to that gig. It was them doing their rave set at Brixton Electric in November last year.
- [21:51]
Matthew Crosby
It was a celebration. It was 20 minutes since they released the album Wasn't it?
- [21:55]
Vin
That's a very good King Gizzard joke.
- [21:57]
Matthew Crosby
Thank you very much.
- [21:58]
Ivo Graham
Absolute fantastic. They do release a lot of.
- [22:00]
Matthew Crosby
They release a lot of records.
- [22:01]
Vin
You were loving it.
- [22:02]
Ivo Graham
Yes.
- [22:02]
Vin
And the crowd was quite fervent.
- [22:06]
Ivo Graham
It was correct. It was a gig to do. Your first bit of crowd surfing.
- [22:10]
Vin
I think I encouraged you. I think you were sort of looking at it, like, longingly, like a child who wanted to go out and play.
- [22:16]
Ivo Graham
Well, I wasn't.
- [22:17]
Vin
And I unlocked the door from the gig.
- [22:19]
Ivo Graham
I thank you.
- [22:20]
Matthew Crosby
You're a bad babysitter is what you are.
- [22:23]
Vin
Got my boyfriend in the shower.
- [22:24]
Ivo Graham
You do I. That's not a King Gizzard song, is it?
- [22:28]
Matthew Crosby
No, no. That's Princess Superstar, of course. By the way, if Ed Gamble is listening to this, he's livid right now. This is not radio, just us doing references that only we get.
- [22:38]
Ivo Graham
I think he'll respect the King Gizzard and the Elizabeth.
- [22:40]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, he'll love. He'll love a bit of that.
- [22:41]
Ivo Graham
Although it was their rave set, not their sort of more metal set. But, yeah, it was. I mean, I didn't even really know what the rules were. It was when you pointed out that people who were crowd surfing to the front and getting picked up by the bounces were then being returned into the gate.
- [22:53]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
- [22:53]
Vin
It's not the end of their night.
- [22:55]
Ivo Graham
I thought that historically, and I'm sure at some gigs it is. It's like you have your moment and that's that done. And I was like, we're only like half an hour in. People really want it. And then you were like, no, that guy's been four times. Okay.
- [23:07]
Matthew Crosby
You're like the people who sort of feared the horizon, aren't you? I'm not gonna get on a ship and just sail straight that way, because I will never, ever come back.
- [23:17]
Ivo Graham
I didn't know that people feared the horizon.
- [23:19]
Matthew Crosby
People used to fear the horizon. But of course, I'm in charge of the 80s. You seem to say people did used to fe. Did you fear the horizon?
- [23:25]
Ivo Graham
Did you fear the horizon? Text it. Yeah. So that was great. And I do think, you know, we made a lot of circle pits at the Arctic Monkeys night in the London one. We had tops off during. From the Ritz to the Rubble, which was fantastic. Very much. Still, I feel an homage to your friend and sketchmate, Tom and Ben.
- [23:44]
Matthew Crosby
Yes. Who love to go tops off.
- [23:45]
Ivo Graham
They go tops off. That's the sort of mark of like, this is. This is a good time.
- [23:50]
Matthew Crosby
This is a good night. Yeah.
- [23:51]
Ivo Graham
And you Know, I think you've got to have fun at gigs, you've got to be saviory careful. You don't want to push people around. But King Gizzard was, I would say, impeccable. People having a great time at a gig.
- [24:01]
Matthew Crosby
Well, you say people having a great time, were they having a great time at your club night? This is a clip we've had a message in from Kathy Rivet who says mundane celebrity interaction, which is a little feature we do if you've had a mundane encounter with a celebrity. Kathy writes, ivo Graham offered me a drink, a dandelion burdock, I imagine, at the Arctic Monkeys 20 years Manchester event. Went to the bar and never returned. That's Ivo.
- [24:25]
Ivo Graham
I remember the interaction. It was quite a stressful night because as well as playing all of these impeccable nostalgic bangers and technically a full album playthrough should be quite an easy DJ night.
- [24:37]
Matthew Crosby
Sure.
- [24:38]
Ivo Graham
Hit play and you're sorted.
- [24:39]
Matthew Crosby
Pop on Spotify and off you go.
- [24:40]
Ivo Graham
But other streaming services are available. That's true, but with this one, I also was trying to play nostalgic video clips off PowerPoint and I prepared some fantastic selections. Old, old ipod ads, old football clips. A fair bit of Blair and Brown.
- [24:55]
Matthew Crosby
Of course, bit of Mandelson.
- [24:58]
Ivo Graham
Mandelson, thankfully, was not in any of the clips. Okay, fair enough, but who knows? Let's see where we are by the time we do 20 years of favourite, worst nightmare. So, unfortunately, due to some tech issues at the Fairfield Social Club in Manchester, I was not able to communicate with the PowerPoint using my clicker, so I had to go to my laptop every time to cue a new video, which was on the other side of the dance floor.
- [25:21]
Matthew Crosby
This has happened to Alex Turner on stage so many times, Number of times he can't get Bluetooth connectivity.
- [25:27]
Ivo Graham
So I was every three minutes because, like some of them, it didn't really matter. But I was very proud. A lot of the clips I'd prepared, and ideally you'd hit play at the same time that the song started.
- [25:36]
Matthew Crosby
Of course, yeah. It syncs up like Dark side Of the Moon and the Wizard Of Oz. You planned it to that sort of.
- [25:41]
Ivo Graham
That level. There's a bit in Turn the Page by the street, which was part of our what's come before early 90s playlist. Talking about Peter Earth. We had that clip in it, of course.
- [25:52]
Matthew Crosby
Of course you did. And then he went insane. But he came back. Did he, though, did he? That Mike.
- [25:56]
Ivo Graham
That's it. Turn the page straight into the song and Then later in the song, he references gladiators. And so I had a clip of Russell Crowe as gladiator. Great. But I wanted that to be in sync. So I'm charging across the Fairfield Social Club, bumping into Vanished to face comedians who I'm very keen to buy a drink for. But they really do have to escort me to the bar, otherwise it will just get forgotten in the next chaotic PowerPoint.
- [26:21]
Matthew Crosby
It's the greatest good for the greatest men. And unfortunately, Kathy river got a bit of. She got. Took a bit of shrapnel in the leg there in the publi. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham, Radio X. Now, unbelievably, while we were playing that song, Ivo smashed through the studio into the Capital Extra studio. Just like in the video. Just like in the. Anyway, guys, it's. It's Matthew Crosby and it's Ivo Graham. We're playing Run DMC on Radio X now. This is very exciting. We used to do this feature back in the day. Ed and I used to review a film and then Ed stopped doing it and then eventually I stopped doing it and now we only do it when we have a guest. So it is, of course, the return of the film review. Radio X action cuts.
- [27:09]
Ivo Graham
Mine's a popcorn.
- [27:10]
Matthew Crosby
Steven Spielberg.
- [27:11]
Ivo Graham
Oh, I've left the lens cap on.
- [27:13]
Vin
For the whole film.
- [27:15]
Matthew Crosby
The Golden Age of Celluloid. The film review with Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Did we press record?
- [27:23]
Ivo Graham
Sorry.
- [27:25]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, indeed. It is the film review now and it is not with Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, it's with Ivo Graham.
- [27:30]
Ivo Graham
But it's a pleasure to hear that same intro from 2019.
- [27:33]
Matthew Crosby
It's great, isn't it?
- [27:34]
Ivo Graham
I think I had the great honor of last co hosting this show in 2019. Only about four weeks maybe into you guys doing the show because it was the week of the birth of Jerry.
- [27:42]
Matthew Crosby
Cinnamon, little Gerry Cinnamon, who of course you sort of basically named, didn't you? Yes, great honor. Yes. What? It was a very exciting. So that was. That was more than four years ago now. That was.
- [27:52]
Ivo Graham
Well, you've had your second child since Run DMC in Aerosmith.
- [27:57]
Matthew Crosby
That's a third. That's a third child, of course. And of course, busted through the womb with a mic stand. That's how. That's how that child was born. No one expected.
- [28:06]
Ivo Graham
I didn't really understand the reference. First time around, I thought, bring it.
- [28:08]
Matthew Crosby
Back around to come out like the alien chest burster. Anyway, you're here to review a film, Ivo, what film are you going to review for us?
- [28:15]
Ivo Graham
The 2004 romantic comedy Along Came Polly.
- [28:19]
Matthew Crosby
Okay, yes, now I vaguely remember this. Give us a bit of context. What, what happens in a Long Cane Polly.
- [28:25]
Ivo Graham
Well, it's got a pretty all star cast and the leads are Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston. But the real lead for me is the late, the great Philip Seymour Hoffman.
- [28:33]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yes, yes, sadly missed.
- [28:35]
Ivo Graham
Very sadly missed. And I had a very dear friend called Tom, also sadly missed, with whom I watched all of the Philip Seymour Hoffman films as a part of quite an eccentric project in our 20s. And now in memory of Philip Seymour Hoffman and in memory of my friend Tom, a group of us meet up every year on February 2nd, which is the day that Philip Seymour Hoffman died 12 years ago to watch a Hoffman. And now increasingly these are films that I watched back in the day with Tom, which we were watching often having already watched them at some previous point.
- [29:01]
Matthew Crosby
Right, okay.
- [29:02]
Ivo Graham
So now I'm on my third Along Came Polly cycle.
- [29:05]
Matthew Crosby
That's more than Stiller, I reckon. Yeah.
- [29:07]
Ivo Graham
And it's obviously now it's part of this quite, you know, emotional narrative arc in my life. But the film is not a film with an emotional narrative arc. And what was quite weird was every time my friend Tom was a journalist and a fantastic chronicler of his life and his friendships and his projects. So he would write reviews in his journal of every film as we watched them back in the day. So whenever we meet up to watch a film, we reread Tom's review of it beforehand. And I remembered that my friend Tom had not liked Along Came Polly and I hadn't remembered quite how much. Clearly I was trying to impress him because I think we were pretentious men watching quite a lot of pretentious Philip Seymour Hoffman films. Some amazing films. And so occasionally you would get these sort of random parts in slightly more light hearted films, which should have been sweet relief, but actually we were quite rude about them. And my friend Tom wrote in his journal in, in 2016.
- [29:57]
Matthew Crosby
Can I just check, have you. You've stolen the review from a dead man?
- [30:01]
Ivo Graham
Yes, that's exactly.
- [30:02]
Matthew Crosby
This is unbelievable.
- [30:03]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, absolutely.
- [30:04]
Matthew Crosby
This is like, this is like Don Draper nicking someone's tag reference point.
- [30:08]
Ivo Graham
I can get behind. Thank you very much.
- [30:09]
Matthew Crosby
Yes. Okay, let's hear, yes, let's hear what your friend Tom has to say.
- [30:12]
Ivo Graham
I have undeniable, monetized my grief in it along every possible channel I can over the last couple of years.
- [30:19]
Matthew Crosby
So here we go.
- [30:20]
Ivo Graham
Another man's words. Although quoting me, I absolutely hated that Tom Ivo announced as the credits rolled. Where does one even begin? This was a real shocker. A series of lackluster jokes strung together, edited at some points in a desperate attempt to tighten things up. The plot was remorselessly grinding. The toilet humor was woeful. It was one of the least believable relationships ever to grace the rom com screen. Aniston. And still, surely she should have fired her agent. So we're reading this, obviously, ahead of being like, and now we'll watch this.
- [30:54]
Matthew Crosby
Let's make the grieving process even more painful, shall we?
- [30:57]
Ivo Graham
But actually, having teed that up and what was very, you know, we were blind loyalists to Philip Seymour Hoffman, who, to be fair, is one of the great character actors of all time. So quite right to inspire that loyalty. But it's mad how much these reviewers would always come back round to my friend Tom saying the saving grace was, of course, a performance from Philip, who managed to wring every ounce of comedy from the script. And there's his iconic basketball scene where he's shouting rain dance and let it rain as he whacks the basketball against the backboard. There's one point where he shouts white chocolate as his nickname for himself. At this point, I paused the film and passed around some white chocolate.
- [31:32]
Matthew Crosby
Of course we did. You're such a strange man.
- [31:36]
Ivo Graham
Well, I'd taken everyone from. I wanted it to be a Moroccan meal like in a film, but the Moroccan restaurant was closed, so we went to a Persian restaurant and I encouraged everyone to have the spiciest meal possible in the hope there would be some Stilleresque bar bathroom breaks during the film. You have to commit to the 3D enjoyment of these films. Hoffman is wonderful. And actually there are so many other great. There's a great Hank Azaria role. Some of the Stiller and Aniston stuff is quite lovely. Oh, wait, is Alec Baldwin, isn't it?
- [32:04]
Matthew Crosby
Are you starting to be worn down by a lot? Have you got sort of Stockholm syndrome about Along Came Polly now It comes into its own on the third viewing. Is that what you're saying?
- [32:11]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, I think so. I mean, I don't think that that's gonna happen with the invention of lying next year. That is an appalling film.
- [32:17]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, I saw that in the pictures. And O, that's really bad. I think it's got one of the worst moments in cinema.
- [32:25]
Ivo Graham
Please.
- [32:26]
Matthew Crosby
Which is Ricky Gervais saying, that made me horny. And I think the idea of Ricky Gervais being horny is possibly the most bath making experience I've ever had in my Life in the cinema. And I've seen Eat Pray Love in the cinema.
- [32:40]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, we did not enjoy that film either. And even Hoffman's cameo in that is, you know, quite mad with Lindsey Boffins in it. But I wouldn't say it's the same as Hoffman playing basketball. And Along Came Polly. And actually on our rate on of one Hoffman per year now, I think we may never have to get back to the invention of lying again. But we did.
- [32:58]
Matthew Crosby
Let's hope we don't live that long, basically.
- [33:01]
Ivo Graham
Exactly. With all the greatest respect to those who've already left the project, I would like to not get to the intention of lying again. So there was lots to enjoy in it. And there's a lovely Philip C Morphin story which the director tells about how they were out together in Los Angeles like a few years later and people were coming to Hoffman and shouting rain dance in the street to him. And this was after he'd won an offset for playing Truman Capote. And he was a bit like, hmm, yeah. Still be defined by it. But it's such a fun role. It also. And Vin, you've already warned me that I can't say this word on air and I won't. But it is the first recorded use of quite a accepted word now for a sort of a toilet mishap.
- [33:42]
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
- [33:43]
Ivo Graham
So when you think it's going to be something and actually something worse happens and it's two words put together, that.
- [33:48]
Matthew Crosby
Portmanteau comes from that.
- [33:50]
Ivo Graham
Portmanteau. That's a much better word.
- [33:51]
Matthew Crosby
It comes from Along Came Polly.
- [33:53]
Ivo Graham
Philip Seymour Hoffman is the first person to declare in film that he's got to go home immediately.
- [33:59]
Matthew Crosby
I think that. I think we should change it and say if it does happen to you, you've got to say, oh, sorry, along came Polly. That's what you've got to do from now on. That horrible experience which has happened to all of us, let's face it, is now. And along Came Polly. Well, Ivo, I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but what a fantastic film review it was. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby this week with. Ivo Graham, Radio X. Ivo, you were telling us a story earlier on in the show about you organised a club night, an Arctic Monkeys club night. Yes. And obviously if you think of the, you know, think of the giants of the clubbing scene, you think of your Carl Cox, you think of your David Guetta.
- [34:45]
Ivo Graham
Well, I don't think of them. I think only of myself.
- [34:47]
Matthew Crosby
You think only of yourself, of course. And that's. And I'M sure they do as well.
- [34:50]
Ivo Graham
Except no imitators.
- [34:51]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. They will tell you that one of the hardest things about running a big club is of course, serving drinks and running across to realise the PowerPoint isn't quite working and you can't get connectivity. So you had a sort of PowerPoint based issue, didn't you?
- [35:08]
Ivo Graham
I had an exquisitely nostalgic PowerPoint of clips all on mute, of politicians, sports stars and reality TV stars. I mean, my montage, my 2006 montage of all the winners of the different talent shows, from Simon on the Oppression Apprentice to Brian Bellow. It was a masterful montage. But having to run across the room to click on my laptop because the PowerPoint click wasn't working was humiliating. Every single time I worked with Brian.
- [35:31]
Matthew Crosby
Bellow, of course I did. What a lovely man. Absolutely fantastic man. Although he did tell me one of the most horrifying stories I've ever heard, which was, he has an outie belly button and he hated it so much that he cut it off with scissors when he was a little kid. And his. But luckily they were those sort of safety scissors, so he didn't get a lot of purchase on it. But his mum came in to find him trying to cut off his outie. His outie belly button.
- [35:57]
Ivo Graham
Unbelievable.
- [35:59]
Matthew Crosby
Unbelievable stuff.
- [36:00]
Ivo Graham
Me not being able to work my PowerPoint seems like quite a small issue.
- [36:04]
Matthew Crosby
Sorry. I think Finn's having a real problem.
- [36:08]
Vin
I feel quite sick.
- [36:09]
Matthew Crosby
So did I. Imagine hearing it straight from the bellows mouth. Straight from the pair of bellows himself. Yeah, it was, it was, it was. It was wild. But. But you. But we're not. We're not here to talk about the times you've chopped.
- [36:20]
Vin
That's like something from a horror film.
- [36:23]
Matthew Crosby
It's like a saw. No, it's pure body horror, isn't it? Yeah, it's. Jigsaw has said, if you don't chop off your belly button, then this. There's a bomb's going to go off and it's inside your chest. That's what's. That's what's happening there. No, but he just did it because he didn't fancy. Just didn't like the look. Just preferred. I think if you've got an Audi and you want an inner, just push it in.
- [36:43]
Vin
Does that work?
- [36:43]
Matthew Crosby
Don't go with every belly, every. Every outie can be pushed in a little bit. Just keep pushing it in.
- [36:50]
Ivo Graham
Is that what you said to Brian at the time?
- [36:51]
Matthew Crosby
I said, you're a fool to yourself, bringing out the scissors. Pop it back in if I did it for him. I said, listen, Brian, I've got. I've got a fix for you. I said, do I have your consent? He said, yes. I said, there you go, back in. It goes.
- [37:07]
Ivo Graham
Well, you know. A texting topic about PowerPoint disasters feels quite low down the priority list. Comp. Which bits of your body have you tried to fix?
- [37:15]
Matthew Crosby
Rob's just texted in. It's 9:30, lads. Sorry, Rob, I'm so sorry. The problem is once you get into the studio, there's a sort of permanent midnight, you know. Anyway, we don't want to know about your. About your belly button.
- [37:28]
Vin
I don't want any body horror text, please.
- [37:30]
Matthew Crosby
No body horror text. We would like to know about your. About your tech. Your tech disazos. Your tech disasters is what we're after.
- [37:38]
Ivo Graham
I've had quite a few on PowerPoint over the years. I would say.
- [37:40]
Matthew Crosby
I can imagine 83936 on the text or. Of course you can WhatsApp I through the global player. Do you want to share another one about PowerPoint?
- [37:48]
Ivo Graham
I think I can actually. I was doing a tour show with quite a lot of PowerPoint in a couple of years ago and at the old fire station in Carlisle I put my clicker in my back pocket because it was a sort of bit of the show where There wasn't any PowerPointing but I don't know how. I must have sort of like accidentally sort of, you know, put my hand on my bum and clicked through my trousers.
- [38:06]
Matthew Crosby
So you were flexing your buttock so hard?
- [38:10]
Ivo Graham
I'm afraid so, yeah. It was a flex heavy show in Carlisle and as a result I flicked to some quite political stuff that I was trying to show during the interval to ask people to donate to it. A fundraiser of my choice to do with the Middle east and that was not ideal to suddenly start flashing flags up on the screen during a routine about my love of LCD sound system.
- [38:29]
Matthew Crosby
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham, Radio X. I'm so old that I remember when gmail first came along.
- [38:39]
Ivo Graham
Right.
- [38:40]
Matthew Crosby
And it was a very exciting time. You had to be recommended by a friend. No, you had to. Someone else who already had Gmail had to set your GMA account up for you.
- [38:48]
Ivo Graham
Oh God.
- [38:49]
Matthew Crosby
Which was very, very exciting.
- [38:51]
Ivo Graham
But that can be your first introduction to Jeeves, don't you? Yes, I do.
- [38:55]
Matthew Crosby
Oh my God. I'd love to ask him some questions. I'm really worried about where he is now, about the life he's lived. But yes. So I was very thrilled by the archive function, because you could kind of basically maintain inbox zero, which was the sort of dream. So you would read an email, archive it immediately, boom, gone. This was around the time I was just starting stand up comedy and I was also still kind of working and teaching a little. So I had applied for this job where I wanted to. It was basically like a, like a media studies type center. So it's kind of like a bit of one world, a bit of the other. And I'd applied for this job, I'd done the interview and all the way through the interview I'd been talking about how, yes, I'm a stand up comedian, I've started doing stand up comedy. I'm beginning on the open mic circuit. It's very exciting. I'm sort of working in that version of the media. But I also used to be a teacher, so this is. I'm the perfect person for the job. Anyway, they emailed me to say, yeah, well done. The interview went well, come along and do a class. And I thought, wrote down the details of where to go, immediately archived the message archive, gone, disappeared. So I arrived there a couple of days later and there was a full class of kids. And they said, so have you got like a USB with all your lesson plan on it or have you got. And I said, what do you mean? They said, well, in the email we said, you need to plan a day's worth of classes for these kids who are here. And I said, oh, I don't think.
- [40:19]
Ivo Graham
I read that bit.
- [40:20]
Matthew Crosby
I think I just wrote down the address and I've just got Gmail. You see, I'm addicted to archiving. I just love archiving. I'm on inbox zero. And they said, oh, I think you should probably go home now, shouldn't you? So I said, yeah, I think I should. Anyway, it was in this like printing press that also had like. So I had to. They'd walked me like about sort of five or six minutes through a printing press to the classroom.
- [40:46]
Ivo Graham
Right, through a printing press?
- [40:48]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, like an old fashioned printing press. That's where they set up their office. I mean it doesn't make it sound really, really old, but it's still, it's still in the time of Gmails, it would have been around 2,000.
- [40:55]
Ivo Graham
You felt over a spinning jenny.
- [40:56]
Matthew Crosby
Didn't you impale myself on a loom? But yeah, so I had to walk. So I walked five or six minutes with someone escorting me to the classroom and then I had to walk five or six minutes back and it was a Very. It was a much more awkward walk back, I would say. But just as she sort of took away my laminate and sort of waved me goodbye, she said, well, this should give you a bit more time to on your stand up comedy. And I was like, oh, no, you've absolutely done me there. But anyway, yes, a tech disaster addicted to archiving. Oh, gee, I still use it.
- [41:25]
Ivo Graham
It is. I mean, it's more charming with the word archive, but if you just replace it with the word delete, it's a bit more. I'm sorry, just delete it.
- [41:32]
Matthew Crosby
Don't read message. Delete it. Do it badly. Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.
- [41:46]
Ivo Graham
That was around the World by Red Hot Chili Peppers, a band I've been apologizing for my entire life. I love them. And I had a thing I went last year to. This is Matthew Crosby and Ed Gamble with Ivo Graham standing infrared gamble on Radio X, by the way. And I, Ivo Graham, had the great privilege of going to a very small festival in my friend's garden in Yorkshire last summer. And everyone was sort of, you know, playing lots of bands, like reuniting, playing for the first time, lots of friends, teenage bands and people doing guest vocals. And my friend Matt came up to me just before his band came on and said, are you still up for doing Can't Stop? And I had completely forgotten that on a night out I had agreed or possibly even suggested that I do Can't Stop by the red hot, tiny festival.
- [42:30]
Matthew Crosby
Can we do Can't Start instead? Is that a possibility?
- [42:33]
Ivo Graham
And I was like, well, I've said, I'll do it. I'm sure it'll be fun. You know, you've got to commit to these bits where possible. And a few people had already done songs where they read the lyrics off their phone. So I was, it's okay that I can't remember. And there's a lot of words to remember. The question was quite simply, can I rap fast enough? It gave me a lot of respect because you also then have to switch gear into this quite melodic chorus, as is the key to this way, and then straight back into the rapping. It was one of the most exhausting, like, physical experiences of my life.
- [43:04]
Matthew Crosby
That's why he's so ripped. He's never been to the gym. It's just pure vocal prowess that's giving him abs like that.
- [43:09]
Ivo Graham
You're garbage. It's absolutely just pissing out nonsense faster than anyone else.
- [43:16]
Matthew Crosby
So you did. You did the whole. Here's the thing, though, if I was tasked with that no one's checking the lyrics. You just get up there and yip.
- [43:24]
Ivo Graham
Baptist having just listened to around the World, some of those egregious sort of non verbal feeling in the Chili's catalog.
- [43:34]
Matthew Crosby
As long as you get the phrase addicted to the shindig out everybody, everything after that is absolutely gravy.
- [43:41]
Vin
Life is more than just a read.
- [43:42]
Ivo Graham
No it's not.
- [43:43]
Matthew Crosby
That's the life.
- [43:44]
Ivo Graham
Yeah.
- [43:44]
Matthew Crosby
If you can get addicted to the shindig at the start and this life is more than just a rude through at the end which he basically has to do acapella the band of stops at that stage. So yeah, if you get those two bits philosophy.
- [43:54]
Vin
He's like a beat poet.
- [43:56]
Ivo Graham
Sadly, my performance was so bad that it cured a lot of the people at the party of their addiction to the shindig. Any of the people who saw it never shindigged again.
- [44:03]
Matthew Crosby
It was a shindig intervention. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham Radio. You have been getting in touch and you can get in touch 83936 on the text or WhatsApp us through the global player. Or if you're SI deves, you can text me personally. Although I don't. I really don't. I really don't recommend that if that's okay. If you can't. He says he's now found the button on the Google player. Well thank you Si. But you already sent the message. He says because I'm such a luddite. This is from SI Because I'm such a luddout I can't remember how to send a message to the global player. So I'm texting you directly, which is rather apropos for your texter. Many years ago ago, before I was far too old for it to be acceptable for me to be using Snapchat, I was exchanging saucy pictures with my then girlfriend and was struggling with getting the angle for optimum lighting when I moved my finger to hit the take photo button. I also dropped my phone and on its way down managed to upload it directly to my public feed. I have never panicked more. Whilst googling how to delete photos from Snapchat. I spent all this time looking. I've just found the button. It's too late now. Anyway, I hope you're well. Yes, I am well Si. I hope you're well as well. Fantastic entry. But of course please do use the official channels 83936 on the text or you can WhatsApp us through the global player. Ivo, do you have one there that you enjoy. Yes.
- [45:21]
Ivo Graham
I've got one which begins. It's not a bad start. I was given one simple task. My grandma's wake. Find the photos. She had loads of memory sticks full of her life, her memories, her family. We can see where this is going. I went through them carefully and found so many beautiful, beautiful pictures. Birthdays, holidays, generations of us together. I handed them over to the guy at the pub so he could put them on the TVs for the wake. Job done. Or so I thought. What I didn't know, hidden deep in one of those folders was a collection of photos of completely naked men.
- [45:52]
Matthew Crosby
That's from Cydives.
- [45:56]
Vin
Grandma's Revenge.
- [45:58]
Ivo Graham
Fantastic. You've got to archive the naked men.
- [46:01]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, completely. They're all standing there with their bare backsides facing the camera. Which is, I think is probably better.
- [46:06]
Ivo Graham
Of course it is probably better, yeah. It's only the second worst thing that's happened.
- [46:12]
Matthew Crosby
You know, it depends if they're going, you know, Gilbert and George or sort of, you know, sort of a variety of gollier trained clowns. They may be spreading and that's no good. But yeah, I think, I think, I think backs to camera is the better option. Anyway, that's not what the texter is specifically. It just so happens that the first two entries were that. This is from Clove, who says, good morning gentlemen. Clove here from a surprisingly sunny Felixstowe. My most memorable tech disaster. And as a 60 something year old, there have been a few. Cast your minds back to the early days of Word. Very happy to do it. I assume you're talking about the program. Not the TV program, of course, or the magazine, but the, you know, Bill Gates word processing, whatever you'd call it. App. I was. It's not an app, is it? What is. What is Word, guys? What do you not know what it is? What is Word?
- [47:09]
Vin
Completely unnecessary. Tangent runs out of steam.
- [47:12]
Matthew Crosby
No, I didn't run out of steam, I ran out of brain. I've got nothing but steam, Vin. I'm more steam than man. I've just got.
- [47:19]
Vin
I just don't have any plain word to us already.
- [47:22]
Ivo Graham
Quite a bad week for Bill Gates. Now we've got people questioning the existence of Word.
- [47:29]
Matthew Crosby
Well, listen, anyway, Word is not on trial, nor am I. Anyway, he was working, it says I was working. So says Clove at a fabrication company and a job just went very wrong. The customer was very angry and pre email I decided to send him a fax from the lovely Word. His name was and still is Mr. Bartici a lovely Italian chap. Hilariously. The new spell check changed this to Mr. Buttocks. Oh, so it is the same as all the other messages we've read. Changed it to Mr. Buttocks. After picking myself up from the floor with laughter, I printed it off to show the accountant. He too found it very funny and said, don't send the wrong one. Obviously not. I. Obviously not. I said, well, you can guess what happened. And the result was a very angry customer. Stupid clove from Suffolk. Thank you, Clove, and apologies for derailing it halfway through, but what is word, guys? 83936 on the text or you can WhatsApp us who the global player.
- [48:20]
Vin
You do have said program in your explanation.
- [48:24]
Matthew Crosby
Is Word and app. Guys, can someone please tell me, is Word an app? This is Starman, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham, Radio X. Olivia's got in touch. Olivia in Liverpool has said I've only just tuned in. Has Matthew been left unsupervised by Ed? No, I'm being supervised by Ivo Graham and producer. Vin and producer. Well, I mean, I think he's. He gave up supervising me, you know, about six or six years ago also. Word is software, says Olivia. Word is software. Although Richard has got in touch to say Word is an application process program commonly referred to these days as an app. From Richard in Liverpool.
- [49:03]
Ivo Graham
So one more text in and what is Word would have overtaken text.
- [49:10]
Matthew Crosby
That's what always happens on this show. We start something we think is going to be the texter, but the real texter is what is Word? Is it an app?
- [49:17]
Ivo Graham
What are the unsung heroes of Microsoft Office? We've talked about Word, we've talked about Excel, We've talked about PowerPoint. What are the others?
- [49:24]
Matthew Crosby
What are the other ones?
- [49:25]
Ivo Graham
What are the other ones?
- [49:26]
Matthew Crosby
Get in touch, guys. 83936 on the text or of course, you can watch WhatsApp us through the global player. What are your favorites in the office? Hang on.
- [49:33]
Vin
So just to recap. Yeah, so it's tech disasters.
- [49:36]
Matthew Crosby
Tech disasters.
- [49:37]
Ivo Graham
It's.
- [49:37]
Vin
What is worse?
- [49:38]
Matthew Crosby
What is Word? It's.
- [49:39]
Vin
What are the others?
- [49:40]
Matthew Crosby
What? What? What are your faves? Yeah, what are your faves? Apart from obviously the. The big three.
- [49:44]
Ivo Graham
Who did you used to look like?
- [49:45]
Matthew Crosby
Who did you used to look like as well? That's in. That's in the podcast. So. So.
- [49:51]
Vin
Let'S open it up.
- [49:52]
Matthew Crosby
Hey, you know what? Who do you used to look like? We haven't got much show left. We probably only got 40 minutes of show left. I will also say who do you lose? You said to look like? Okay, so just, just for total clarity here, what are your tech disasters? 83936 on the text, or you can WhatsApp us through the global player. What is word? Is it an app? 83936 on the text. We can WhatsApp us through the global player.
- [50:12]
Vin
You don't need to say all that.
- [50:13]
Matthew Crosby
After Mr. Will says. Is it some form of potato? Can we block Mr. Will, please? Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham, Radio X. Ivo, thank you so much for stepping in. But you're not just a dear friend to me, you're not just a fantastic broadcaster, you're also wonderful standout comedian. And you're off on tour. Tell us about that.
- [50:34]
Ivo Graham
I'm off on tour with a show called Orange Crush where I talk about my favorite orange things and wear orange clothes. It's not a breakdown. The show is. I had a lovely time doing it at the Fringe last year and some tour dates last autumn. And we have a big spring sesh beginning in hertford on Tuesday 17th February, and then it's going to Brighton and Stamford and then lots of other places as well.
- [50:57]
Matthew Crosby
Are you encouraging people to dress in orange? Cause when I went and saw Chapel Roan at the Brixton Academy, the only comparison. The only comparison. I see you very much as the Chapel Ronan Stand up comedy. She puts out a couple of weeks before what each show of the tour will be, what the theme is. And it was. I mean, it's one of three themes, really. It's gonna be like Midwest Princess or Pink Pony or one of those. And I was there on Pink Pony night and it really created a real sense of excitement because when you got on the tube to go to the show, you could tell who was going. Bit like when the Eras tour was in town, you could tell who were the swift, who was going to see it. Is there.
- [51:37]
Ivo Graham
Is there a dress code similar buzz around Hertford?
- [51:39]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
- [51:40]
Ivo Graham
On Tuesday week, would you like people.
- [51:42]
Matthew Crosby
To show up with a traffic cone on their head? Basically, Is that.
- [51:44]
Ivo Graham
Someone's already done that in Basingstoke.
- [51:46]
Matthew Crosby
Of course they have.
- [51:47]
Ivo Graham
I signed a traffic cone after the show. In one of the proudest moments of my career. She went home to get it in the interval. It was absolutely fantastic.
- [51:53]
Matthew Crosby
Phenomenal. Yeah. But you'd like people to dress in orange.
- [51:58]
Ivo Graham
Let's be real. I'd like people to buy tickets.
- [52:00]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. Let's be real.
- [52:01]
Ivo Graham
The dressing is a lovely bonus. I mean, I would like to think the show at its best in My is a sort of life affirming, sort of, you know, celebration of talking about the things you care about and finding funny little themes and color coordinating stuff. It's been of great amusement. My daughter who says daddy only wears orange things now has become a little game between us at school. It was in a report from the school, talks a lot about how her father's favorite color is orange, but hers is purple. What a betrayal at a school.
- [52:29]
Matthew Crosby
You've got to rebel. You've got to rebel against your parents, haven't you? That's early rebellion. And is it you on tour? On your own? Have you got a support act?
- [52:39]
Ivo Graham
My dear friend Alex Keighley will be with me for some of the dates.
- [52:41]
Matthew Crosby
Sweet Keels, of course.
- [52:42]
Ivo Graham
And my friend Phoebe will be coming with me for some of the dates. Fantastic Phoebe Day. And some, I'm afraid, pure solo orange. Graham.
- [52:48]
Matthew Crosby
And in an orange themed show, do you do the classic and have the halftime snack? Are you doing that for the audience? Are you giving them the slices just to get their fit C levels back up, get them ready the. For second half?
- [53:01]
Ivo Graham
I. I haven't done that before, but. No, that's.
- [53:03]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, no, now I've said it. You will do it.
- [53:05]
Ivo Graham
That's the problem.
- [53:06]
Matthew Crosby
You'll be running around to the local Tesco Metro trying to find oranges at the last minute. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've done that to you, Ivor, because now you've. Now you've thought it.
- [53:15]
Ivo Graham
No, that's fine. It's my life now. My car smells so much of what sits.
- [53:20]
Matthew Crosby
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo Graham. Radio X. The switchboard's a bit of a mess at the moment because we've thrown out so many texters. Ivo, do you want to pick one and do one? If that's. That's not a rude thing to.
- [53:34]
Ivo Graham
Thanks for having me. Well, I think they're all great topics and I'm not just biased because I suggested this one, but there have been a lot of people talking about whether Microsoft Office should be defined by the big three. And Raj replied. I can't believe you're saying Microsoft Office only had the big three. When I was younger in school, publisher was the greatest thing ever. It was like Cannes. It was like, can the band can.
- [53:56]
Matthew Crosby
I'm assuming that. Yeah.
- [53:57]
Ivo Graham
Straight to lsj.
- [53:58]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. Yeah, of course. Who. Of course. The genre of Cannes. You can't really say anymore, can you? It feels like it's. It feels like too much of a slur. Doesn't It. To call it a rude word for German people in rock.
- [54:09]
Ivo Graham
Oh, yeah.
- [54:10]
Matthew Crosby
It just feels like. So you're like, you know, can. The sort of. That band, the slightly proggy. The sort of proto. Anyway. Yes. But can. Don't get me started about Cannes. What is. What is can, by the way?
- [54:21]
Ivo Graham
Matthew.
- [54:22]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, sorry, sorry, Ed's not here, so I'm unsupervised.
- [54:26]
Ivo Graham
Of course.
- [54:27]
Matthew Crosby
Hi, guys.
- [54:28]
Ivo Graham
I love Microsoft Forms.
- [54:29]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, he loves Microsoft Forms. Absolutely right. This is from Alison. Tech disasters. My dad once called my phone. My husband. My dad once phoned my husband. He was frustrated that the printer was only printing blank pages. Husband sorted the issue in less than 30 seconds. It turns out the dad had inserted the printer cartridges correctly. He just failed to remove the cellophane first. An absolute, absolute classic there. An absolute classic tech failure. Any more? For any more there, Ivo?
- [54:58]
Ivo Graham
Yes. Adam Johns has texted in about my tour. Will the orange dress code still apply in Northern Ireland? That has been quite a recurring question. There are political undertones which I deal with, may I say extremely delicately in the show. There's no Belfast on this leg, but I will do it before the year is out there. You not scared?
- [55:12]
Matthew Crosby
There you go. All right, I'm gonna move on to Andy's message here. This is from Andy in Stornoway. He says, I was on a teams call call at work, presenting to 25 senior managers in the boardroom. This is a tech disaster. I'd shared my screen. Always a tricky moment, the screen share, isn't it? Always a worrying moment. And a message flashed onto the large boardroom screen from a colleague that simply said, I'm in bits. Got any drugs? I religiously kept paracetamol and ibuprofen in my desk drawer. And I'm the first point of call if colleagues have any minor ailments. Trying to explain this convincing convincingly to a load of corporate suits was a challenge. Thank you, Andy. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Ivo.
- [55:53]
Ivo Graham
Graham, Radio X. I would like to apologize now, unfortunately, for quite a basic guest co host error here, which is that I was reading a previous text off the wrong part of the screen. So I thought that it was just a text that ended rather abruptly with a reference to the band can. A comparison I didn't really understand to one of our stickier moments on there where we were unsure whether we could say a specific word for the genre, for the cannon. And we needn't have bothered with any of that because obviously it was a reference to Canva. Before Canva, Microsoft publisher was like, canva.
- [56:29]
Matthew Crosby
Before Canva, the message had cut off on one part of the screen, but it's full on the other part of the screen. You didn't realize that. That's fair enough. It's been a long time since you were in the studio, so. Yeah. So apologies to Ryan in Bradford. Although it's like, can. I think it's one of those things you can say when it makes it seem a lot. If you wanted. If you're chatting to a muso and you're just comparing anything to being like.
- [56:51]
Vin
Can, it's definitely a thing I'm going to start.
- [56:53]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, of course. Of course. We're all going to start doing that. We've got some new euphemisms for the show now. We've got an along came Polly and it's like, can. So there we go. Sorry, sorry, Ryan in Bradford. But, you know, I think what we did is we took your message and slightly improved it. No, it was a lovely message and we appreciate you very, very much, as we do appreciate everybody who got in touch with their tech disasters. We'll end with this one. I used to look like my dad says Si Deeves. Si Deeves has finally worked out a way to contact the show properly. I used to look like my dad. I still do. And my dad used to look like Frank Skinner. And I once got heckled and was asked if I was Frank Skinner's son. So there we go.
- [57:31]
Ivo Graham
Fantastic.
- [57:33]
Matthew Crosby
In a way he is, but in a more real way, he's not.
- [57:37]
Ivo Graham
There we go. A text successfully read from start to finish. Something that's proven beyond me in a show which has been about tech disasters all the way through finishing me committing one.
- [57:46]
Matthew Crosby
Ivo, we simply can't have two people on the show who can't read. It's just not on. It's just not on. You know, Ed brings many things to the show, but the ability to read is the one thing that I don't have that he does. Thank you so much, Ivo. Of course, if you get a chance, please do go and see Ivo on tour.
- [58:04]
Ivo Graham
It's like, can. The show is like, can.
- [58:09]
Matthew Crosby
Do go see Ivo on tour and do stick around for Danny Wallace's show. He's absolutely enormous and he's absolutely wonderful. We're going to be back next week. Ed still away. Ivo back again. Vin, are you here? Oh, I'm here. Oh, fantastic. Well, you don't want to miss it. It's going to be like, can. We'll see you very soon. Cheers, everyone. Bye bye.
- [58:30]
Ivo Graham
Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.
- [58:36]
Matthew Crosby
So, folks, there was the. The show. Ivo, what a joy. Thank you so much for coming on the show.
- [58:41]
Ivo Graham
It's a pleasure to be back.
- [58:42]
Matthew Crosby
It's great.
- [58:43]
Ivo Graham
First time in seven years.
- [58:45]
Matthew Crosby
I can't believe it's really been that. I mean, obviously you've been telling me.
- [58:48]
Ivo Graham
I'm gonna get to come back next week.
- [58:49]
Matthew Crosby
Boom or bust. Embarrassment of riches, isn't it?
- [58:52]
Ivo Graham
You're a frequent guest and that's always a pleasure too.
- [58:55]
Matthew Crosby
Frequent guest. Yeah, you've, you know, you've. Some of my favorite interviews have been with you trying to multitask, doing several other things whilst also being interviewed about your tour.
- [59:05]
Ivo Graham
Well, one of them was about. I think it was. It was Glenn Moore and Kat stories, wedding, comedy writing royalty. And it was in a hotel room in Newcastle doing quite a clumsy plug. I think it was pointed out that you could see quite a lot of my clothes hanging up in the back of the thing.
- [59:21]
Matthew Crosby
And I think you've got changed as well. I think you've. I think you've, you know, at 9:00 o'clock in the morning we've said, ivo, you ready for the interview? And you've arrived in a towel and said, yes, I will be. How many songs are you playing? Let's hope one of them is Blue Monday, so I've got enough time to change into my slacks.
- [59:34]
Ivo Graham
Well, next week it's another wedding on the Saturday night, so perhaps I'll turn up in towel.
- [59:38]
Matthew Crosby
Yes. Oh, please. It's either towel or tux. That's what we're expecting.
- [59:42]
Ivo Graham
That's my version of boom or bus.
- [59:44]
Matthew Crosby
Exactly. Boom or bus. Towel or tux. What are your beck wrecks? What have you been listening to? What have you been enjoying? Obviously you've got a tour. Let's back rec that in a big way first.
- [59:54]
Ivo Graham
Well, that's very good of you. And can I rather cynically check, we're still going to record a little bit of the main show after this. Yes, that's no secret to the listeners. So Mike mentioned it in the show as well.
- [60:04]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yeah.
- [60:04]
Vin
I think we're gonna do it in the next link.
- [60:06]
Matthew Crosby
You simply must.
- [60:07]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, it would have been teased then. So all I'm really now it's quite desperately reaffirming.
- [60:11]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, definitely. On tour.
- [60:13]
Ivo Graham
That I'm going on tour from mid February to June of this year, starting in Hertford. Starting and putting particular pressure, I would say, on listeners in Hertford and the Hertfordshire area.
- [60:22]
Matthew Crosby
Okay. If you're close to that area or willing to travel, then get tickets from. I'm guessing ivograham.com.
- [60:28]
Ivo Graham
Yes.
- [60:29]
Matthew Crosby
Or just google ivograham tickets.
- [60:31]
Ivo Graham
I respect that you have to give the link sometimes, but I do often think it's just. You'll find them, surely you'll find them.
- [60:37]
Matthew Crosby
Well, the people of Hertford haven't very cavally attitude for somebody who can't shift tickets in Hartford. They'll find it, they'll know.
- [60:45]
Ivo Graham
Can I say I'm not alone. I've been on a few other Hertford Beam Theatre seat maps and I'd say Hartford are letting quite a lot of people down. So maybe it is the navigability of the website support. If not me, then another touring comedy show in Hertford over the next few weeks. Please, we all need your help.
- [61:00]
Matthew Crosby
It's a big plug for Hartford. What have you been listening to? What you've been enjoying?
- [61:04]
Ivo Graham
What have I. I've been listening quite obsessively to the song the Perfect Kiss by New Order because it's used so fantastically in the film Martin Supreme. That's probably my most listened to song of the year so far. I've really been enjoying. And we were talking about him earlier, Tyler Ball Game.
- [61:20]
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
- [61:21]
Ivo Graham
Those guys come out of nowhere.
- [61:22]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, I got to watch him rehearse for the last leg and what a privilege. What a performer. Phenomenal. Beautiful album.
- [61:30]
Ivo Graham
And some lovely oranges on the COVID as well. I love doing a show about orange things, so if anything has any, even a tangential link to oranges, it gets bumped up the priority list.
- [61:38]
Matthew Crosby
A tangerine shul, you mean?
- [61:41]
Ivo Graham
Wow.
- [61:43]
Matthew Crosby
What's wrong with me?
- [61:45]
Ivo Graham
You've been left unsupervised by the directors said so recommendations for that. I mean, I went to see the comedian John Tothill last week. It's an absolutely stunning show and that's going on, that's finishing in London, then going on tour with the most incredible story about how he nearly died at the Edinburgh fringe the year before.
- [62:06]
Matthew Crosby
Well, we've all got that story. Yeah, yeah, but so he had. Well, don't spoil it. Don't spoil it.
- [62:12]
Ivo Graham
Yes. It was more than just a comedic death and the shows themselves are far from it. It's delightful company. It's so funny. Also, a lot of the show is about relishing the more sort of gluttonous indulgences of life. And he tells a story about a legendary Victorian oyster thief. And I was so excited by the show that I thought I simply had to go to a seafood restaurant over the road from the Soho Theatre to get John tottle an oyster. A Man, I don't really know at all. March back to into the bar, gave him this oyster and said, great show. And he said, I don't actually eat oysters. I down my own oyster in the soap bar, apologize to a near stranger, then head off into the night.
- [62:48]
Matthew Crosby
Ivo, oh my God, you have to. You're so. You're so. Ivo, listen, this is not something he puts on once in a while. This is every. Every waking moment. Ivo's thinking, how could I be more Ivo?
- [63:04]
Ivo Graham
I'll take the complimentary aspects of this, but yes, the bit is a prison from which I cannot escape.
- [63:09]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, well, we're all stuck in our own. We're all stuck in our own prisons of varying degrees.
- [63:15]
Ivo Graham
But I think, well, and I'm dressing up a lot at the moment. I went to Aber Voyage last week. That's a huge paper expo.
- [63:23]
Matthew Crosby
It's so good, isn't it? It's brilliant.
- [63:25]
Ivo Graham
Not that this podcast isn't platform enough, but I'm planning to sort of broadcast quite a lot more about how important Aber Voyage has been to me and some of my dearest people. And I really must emphasize, as basic as you may think it may be, the fact that there is a show in London and it's, you know, obviously it's not the cheapest ticket in the world, but it's there indefinitely or at least for the next couple of years. Every night you can get tickets. It's really like navigable. It's not like a lot of touring shows where like, it's so hard to get tickets. And it's not in Hartford, thank goodness, whence I will not return. But it's. And it's like, take. Take your parents, take your. Like, take someone you know who's having a tough time. Like it is the purest distillation of a multi generation. Like great family wedding where everyone has come together. And I also love. It's very accessible. When I took my mum, she could drive her motor scooter straight into the middle of the dance floor. And so I thought it'd be fun to organize a trip for the Ms. Society, who I've done some stuff with over the years. So we all went. We all wore orange because that's the color of the charity. It was a triumphant evening of color coordinated disco dancing.
- [64:28]
Matthew Crosby
That's so fun. That's amazing. Is he still doing the Easter eastenders gag?
- [64:33]
Ivo Graham
Because I didn't know that was an Eastender.
- [64:36]
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, I saw it a few years ago and he does a thing where he's like, oh, I'M here in. I'm here in London. He goes over to the piano, goes. And it got nothing. And I was like, this is a nice bit of business. And I know. I mean, I know he's not here to hear the lack of laughter. I was like, that's a good gag, right, to do a bit of local. He's doing a bit of local local for you. You've got a hologram doing local and you're giving him. Absolutely. Mount Rushmore. Come on. Come on, guys. It's got nothing. So they must have dropped it because it just wasn't getting me. Wasn't getting the response.
- [65:09]
Ivo Graham
Well, I'm going again next month, so I'll check whether it's still in.
- [65:12]
Matthew Crosby
Shout out eastenders if he does.
- [65:14]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, yeah.
- [65:15]
Matthew Crosby
But I loved it. I absolutely love Aber Voyage. Or Aber Voyage. It's. The jury's still out. The announcements were different, by the way. They said, like, they were saying it's 10 minutes to Aber voyage and the next person. It's 10 minutes to have a Voy and gay. Someone was confused. Abba Voyage. What country am I in? But yeah, it's ab. It's absolutely brilliant. I love it.
- [65:40]
Ivo Graham
Have you got any back wrecks, Matthew?
- [65:42]
Matthew Crosby
Well, you know what? I'll tell you, I'll tell you this. This week I sent this to you, Vin. The start of the year, for some reason, I've locked back into a band I haven't listened to for years and years and years. The band, the Crash Test. Done these right? Now, you might know their one big song, which is that song. Do you know that song has a very, very deep voice. It's before your time. It's before your time. But anyway, because I've been listening to so much on Spotify, Spotify alerted me that they're actually playing a gig in October in London. So me and my friend Ed, who I went to school with, who both, we both love, the Crash Test Dummies. I got. I had that sort of jittery, like, I'm getting tickets for Harry Styles, watching it Count down on the dice. This will be on sale because basically there's 218 seats in the venue they're playing, right? Everybody who wants to watch the Crash Test Dummies wants to sit down, right? I don't know why they're bothering playing a venue that isn't mostly seated. They're not. They're not a. They're not a moshing band, right? They are a band where you want to sit down. So I was absolutely Desperate to make sure. So I was feeling of genuine, you know that feeling you get before it gets to 10 o' clock all morning. You're nervous. Do I need multiple devices? It turns out I needn't have worried. I got two seater tickets. Absolutely fine. Checked it that evening. Still seated tickets available, I think because I live in my own head and I'm like, well, Crash Test Dummies, they're one of the most important bands in the world, right? Aren't they? Because that's the music I listen to every single day.
- [67:02]
Ivo Graham
But also we've spent a lot of today talking about, you know, tech disasters. I don't know how fame, maybe the crashed. Some of the audience are with the, you know, countdown to 10:00am, you know, hitting refresh on multiple apps. I think there will be fan bases you've got to work a bit harder against.
- [67:16]
Matthew Crosby
It was only in the. It was only in the Dice app as well. I thought they're really cutting off their nose despite their face here, aren't they? Come on, who can handle the Dice app?
- [67:24]
Ivo Graham
Matthew Crosby can.
- [67:25]
Matthew Crosby
I can.
- [67:26]
Ivo Graham
No one straddles the generations like Matthew Crosby.
- [67:28]
Matthew Crosby
One of the youngest of the fan base.
- [67:30]
Ivo Graham
He's going to steely down one night in Chapel Row in the next. We love it.
- [67:33]
Matthew Crosby
Get a guy who can do both. And finally, Vin, any Beck wrecks for you?
- [67:38]
Vin
Well, I know Ivo's a fan. Ramona Hummus.
- [67:42]
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yeah, tell me about Ramona Hummus.
- [67:45]
Vin
It's just, it's just delicious hummus. It's so good. But they have.
- [67:49]
Matthew Crosby
We all thought anyone who didn't know it was. And anyone who didn't know what it. What it was thought it was a band. I thought, oh, what a great name.
- [67:55]
Ivo Graham
I wouldn't mind that.
- [67:56]
Vin
Of course I'd be up for sing a band.
- [67:58]
Matthew Crosby
Ramona Hummus. I'm imagining a Courtney Barnett.
- [68:00]
Vin
It's Ramona's, isn't it?
- [68:01]
Ivo Graham
Ramona. Because Ramona is not a person.
- [68:04]
Vin
Yeah.
- [68:04]
Ivo Graham
And yeah, she makes lovely. There's the original and then there's the jalapeno.
- [68:08]
Vin
It's the best one.
- [68:09]
Ivo Graham
It's fantastic.
- [68:10]
Vin
But I'd like to compliment their customer service because recently.
- [68:13]
Matthew Crosby
And they think I'm unsupervised. Yeah, they accuse me of being unsupervised. Sorry, your back rec is a hummus hotline.
- [68:26]
Vin
My unnamed partner who is not an on air character.
- [68:29]
Matthew Crosby
Okay. Yes.
- [68:31]
Vin
Was concerned that there was, there was. There's potentially mold in the hummus.
- [68:36]
Matthew Crosby
Right, right. Okay.
- [68:37]
Ivo Graham
Yeah. That's such a backfrack then.
- [68:38]
Matthew Crosby
No.
- [68:39]
Vin
So sent a message to them asking, you know what. What to do. And they were fantastic. They sent. They sent us a little care package.
- [68:46]
Matthew Crosby
I chuck it away. That's number one.
- [68:48]
Vin
More jalapeno hummus, more clapping. Classic hummus. A tikka masala style hummus.
- [68:53]
Matthew Crosby
A little.
- [68:53]
Vin
A little cool box.
- [68:55]
Matthew Crosby
So it could have been badly stored by the vendor.
- [68:57]
Vin
That's what they said. Don't take any chances.
- [68:59]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, I think that's fair.
- [69:00]
Ivo Graham
Yeah.
- [69:00]
Vin
But they also suggested maybe just trying to wash the little dirty bit off. And is it possibly that that's just a jalapeno and obviously that's. Obviously that's what it was.
- [69:12]
Ivo Graham
But you had your care package.
- [69:14]
Matthew Crosby
Yes, absolutely.
- [69:15]
Ivo Graham
Another system gamed. Fantastic.
- [69:17]
Matthew Crosby
Well, well done.
- [69:18]
Vin
Well done to you say to them.
- [69:19]
Ivo Graham
Yeah, yeah, that's a. That's a swift and generous reply. Absolutely ethical hummus. Not always the way.
- [69:25]
Vin
Yeah, exactly. And yeah. And it's absolutely delicious. So them. I also, I bumped into Johnny Abraham who I've talked about. He's like a constant Beckwack. Yes. Who was. He's in Public Service broadcasting and he releases his own music under the name J.F. abraham and he also released music under the name Professor Penguin.
- [69:45]
Ivo Graham
Why not?
- [69:45]
Vin
Which is always funny to say, but I wish I.
- [69:48]
Ivo Graham
Absolutely.
- [69:48]
Vin
I'm obsessed with that Professor Penguin album and he's also a lovely man and it was a nice thing to bump into him.
- [69:55]
Ivo Graham
So Matthew and I saw Public Service Broadcasting together.
- [69:58]
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
- [69:59]
Ivo Graham
On their. On their. On the Every Valley tour and they brought out a.
- [70:05]
Matthew Crosby
A Welsh mining choir at the end and it was a phenomenally emotional moment. It's brilliant. What a great.
- [70:10]
Ivo Graham
And they're doing. They're doing a. Is it a big anniversary thing? They're doing a big celebration of the race for space. 10 years maybe.
- [70:17]
Matthew Crosby
I think we both had Sputnik as our pre Show One year 2015.
- [70:20]
Ivo Graham
That's a. That was a very special album and tour and so I think if you've never seen them and I can't remember exactly what they're doing and when and where, but if you can go to their Race for Space, sort of celebrate.
- [70:28]
Vin
Their shows are pretty like the music's great but they're quite visual shows as well.
- [70:32]
Ivo Graham
Yeah.
- [70:32]
Vin
It's sort of trancy, you know, can adjacent.
- [70:35]
Ivo Graham
I think you could.
- [70:37]
Vin
You can make that connection.
- [70:38]
Matthew Crosby
What is. Can. Well have a wonderful.
- [70:41]
Vin
He's done stuff with Rob Walton as well.
- [70:43]
Matthew Crosby
He has as well. Yes. Yes. They did stuff at like Latitude and stuff like that, didn't they? Or at a music festival. Of some kind. Anyway, this is the end of old men half ranging things for three hours.
- [70:55]
Ivo Graham
And then you could be six music in private for 10 minutes at the end.
- [70:57]
Matthew Crosby
That's what it was.
- [70:58]
Vin
Very much the agreement.
- [70:59]
Matthew Crosby
That's very. That's what it is. Oh, yes. Speaking of which, I really enjoyed the new Rat Boys album, which is sort of country tinged Americana, E type stuff. Really, really brilliant. Singing to an Empty Chair is the name of the album. Really, really good. Okay, have a wonderful week, everybody. We love you very much. Thank you so much, Ivo.
- [71:17]
Ivo Graham
See you next week.
- [71:18]
Matthew Crosby
See you next week. Good luck in America. Ed did his voice notes that he said he was gonna record come. Have they come through yet?
- [71:24]
Vin
Well, to be fair to him, I haven't asked.
- [71:26]
Matthew Crosby
No, I didn't ask. And I think he's. I think he's currently like in transit right now.
- [71:30]
Vin
He's off for a while.
- [71:31]
Ivo Graham
Impounded, potentially. You were trying to get him impounded last week. He was not saying anything about American politics. Pathetic.
- [71:38]
Matthew Crosby
Absolutely pathetic. Pathetic. Silence is violence, Ed. Anyway, have a wonderful week, everybody. You'll see you very soon.
- [71:45]
Ivo Graham
Bye. Bye.