Episode 349 – Matthew Crosby and Matthew Crosby (without Rhys James)

Summary

---

Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 348 – Matthew Crosby and Matthew Crosby (without Rhys James)
Date: March 1, 2026

Episode Overview

This chaotic, star-studded edition of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio X show sees Matthew Crosby left to helm the show solo—without either regular co-host Ed Gamble (away on tour in the USA) or planned fill-in Rhys James (down with the flu). Faced with the challenge of filling three hours of live radio essentially unprepared, Matthew enlists producers and a staggering array of comedy pals to keep things buoyant and hilarious. The episode is a scramble of improv, audience interactions, impromptu celebrity interviews, and classic Radio X absurdity—essentially, “the radio equivalent of Gromit laying down the tracks as the train hurtles away” ([13:04]). Notable guests include Josh Widdicombe, Alex Horne, Fern Brady, Joel Dommett, and Harry Hill, with surprise input from Ed Gamble in the form of witty voice notes from his US tour.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Show Must Go On: Hosting Solo

• Matthew opens (00:02–01:37) by explaining why he’s flying solo:
  • Ed Gamble is away on tour in the US.
  • Rhys James was meant to stand in, but is down with the flu.
  • Producer Vin and Matthew briefly consider just not doing the show at all but decide to press on.
  • In classic crunch-time fashion, Matthew rapidly canvasses other comics to guest via Zoom/phone.

Scrambling for Content & Guest Coordination

• “It's a star-studded lineup of people who said no… All your favourite comedians said no.” – Matthew ([01:55])
• Guests who step up: Josh Widdicombe, Alex Horne, Fern Brady, Joel Dommett, Harry Hill.
• Matthew jokes about how the absence of Ed forces him to rifle through his little black book; “You’ll have an absolutely star studded show. More stars than the Moyles show.” ([02:26])
• Behind the scenes is frenetic: “We literally didn’t have time… we were texting and FaceTiming people all the way through the show.” ([02:24])

Audience Interactions & Listener Emails

• Amusing analysis of charity shop T-shirts and odd clothing items ([03:46])
• The accidental reading of off-topic emails intended for other radio shows, and subsequent debate over listener intelligence ([05:10])
• "The listeners you deserve" becomes a running joke about their eccentric audience ([38:18])

Scraping the Barrel for Running Order:

Matthew improvises with text-in topics:

• What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen behind a curtain?
• Ever sat in a celebrity’s lap?
• Caravanning disasters.
• Can you whistle really well? (Send a voice note)
• Stories about hats, handstands, cartwheels, or doing the splits ([14:34])

Celebrity Drop-ins & Memorable Segments

Josh Widdicombe Interview ([22:04–30:12])

• Josh joins from a hotel in York, reminisces about solo radio, and “slow social media” emergent formats.
• On radio solitude: “I was allowed to talk to Neil... The ten seconds before my first ever link on Radio X, he said, ‘Just so you know, I'm not a laugher.’” – Josh ([24:14])
• "Due to cuts at the BBC, I think the zoo format is dead." – Josh ([25:38])
• Discussion of viral Instagram train streams. “Rob Beckett thinks I should set up a YouTube channel just of me filming myself silently on the train because people found it calming.” – Josh ([26:41])

Ed Gamble’s Voice Notes from America ([20:01], [31:02], [70:35])

• Offers mock encouragement, increasingly absurd reportage (“Sold out in Brooklyn… hung out with Barack Obama, Joan Rivers, Top Cat…”), and classic Ed ribbing:
  • “I hope the show’s going well, Matthew, and that you haven’t had a full mental breakdown by now…” ([31:02])
  • “Normal co host of the show. I do it about eight times a year. Hope you haven't ruined it yet because I'd quite like to come back…” – Ed ([70:35])

Alex Horne Interview ([39:20–45:27], [46:10])

• Whistling challenge—debate over if Alex can or can’t whistle; live demonstration.
• School play story: “They drew back the curtain and there was… a boy crying in the canteen… it was quite powerful.” – Alex ([41:49])
• Talks Taskmaster, caravans, personal handstand/celebrity lap experiences (“the only lap I’ve sat in is Greg Davies’s lap… these are all true.” [43:31])
• On Taskmaster: “She [Joanna Page] thinks she can do a handstand… You'll see.” ([44:22])

Fern Brady Drop-in ([46:10–50:11])

• Candid, groggy chat about marathon running, marathon anxiety, and being overtaken during races:
  • “A man with one leg overtook me...” ([48:56])
  • “I thought if I run too much, I’m not going to be able to talk enthusiastically about my favorite program… so I’m already trying to worm out of the run.” ([47:01])
• Plug for her charity marathon run.

Joel Dommett Interview ([50:22–59:09])

• Details on the Brit Awards: “I am the Alien Ant Farm of rock and roll.” ([50:49])
• Amusing contrast between showbiz appearance and Uber realities: “...then I found myself in a car for four hours doing diversions, trying to sleep on a pregnancy pillow and a pregnant woman.” ([51:34])
• Discusses impending fatherhood, logistics of touring with a very pregnant partner.

Harry Hill Interview ([59:33])

• Off-the-wall banter about IKEA doomsday packages, candle hoarding, and the “original beanbags were designed for invertebrates”—a classic Harry Hill bit ([60:44]).
• On whistling: “I see myself as a whistler first and a comedian second. That was always my dream...” ([63:12]); demonstrates a “nose flute.”
• Shares a Morrissey anecdote:
  • “Morrissey goes, ‘We’re all waiting for death.’” ([67:07])
• Promotes his Youtube vodcast “The Harry Hill Show”; admits to “batch cooking” vodscarf episodes ([68:57]).

Recurring In-Jokes & Running Themes

• Tongue-in-cheek bile for “perverts and thickos” among the listeners ([38:18])
• Touching on “achievability” for laminated celebrity free passes: “Don’t shoot for your Brad Pitts… get somebody who is basically just above the open mic circuit… Tim Key’s very much the British Brad Pitt.” – Matthew ([35:00])
• Josh’s assertion: “You're making a big deal out of the fact you have to host a show on your own.” – ([72:17])

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This show is the radio equivalent of Gromit laying down the tracks as the train has already started hurtling away.”
  —Matthew Crosby ([13:04])

• “Josh is obviously on the show. Alex Horne, he said yes. Again, like I say on the show, the first two cabs off the rank, always Josh and Alex Horne, they said yes. But I tell you what, it’s a star-studded lineup of people who said no.”
  —Matthew Crosby ([01:36])

• “We just got perverts and thickos… but I say this every time: you get the listeners you deserve.”
  —Matthew Crosby ([38:18])

• “I see myself as a whistler first and a comedian second. That was always my dream.”
  —Harry Hill ([63:12])

• “You book a Harry Hill on the show. He comes prepared with stuff. He comes prepared with goods.”
  —Matthew ([65:27])

• “Imagine if famously nice Joel Dommet turned out to be a chauvinist pig.”
  —Matthew Crosby ([56:22])

---

Guest Segment Timestamps

• Josh Widdicombe Interview: [22:04–30:12]
• Ed Gamble Voice Notes: [20:01], [31:02], [70:35]
• Alex Horne Interview: [39:20–45:27], [46:10]
• Fern Brady Drop-in: [46:10–50:11]
• Joel Dommett Interview: [50:22–59:09]
• Harry Hill Interview: [59:33–69:46]
• Listener Reports (Rhys James’s Dad & Joel): [74:35–77:29]

---

Closing Reflections

The episode concludes with producer Vin and Matthew recapping the carnage, marvelling that they survived, and reflecting on the show’s ephemeral magic. They riff about preparedness, joke about unused “Steely Dan” research, and share TV/music recommendations—including exuberant praise for “How to Get To Heaven from Belfast.”

“Thank you so much, Finn, you made that. You really did. You're the producer, but you did. You made that show. And I had a great time doing it. And thanks to all of our guests. … And thanks to you, the listener.”
—Matthew Crosby ([83:00])

---

Key Takeaways

• In the absence of both regular hosts, Matthew and Vin engineered a joyously incompetent, A-list-assisted breakfast show full of warmth, improvisation, and relentless audience engagement.
• The parade of guests—many via phone or WhatsApp—underscored both the resilience of the format and the centrality of their comedy circle.
• Listener interaction (texts, emails, voice notes) fueled much of the content, with spirited riffing on everything from whistling to handstands to charity fashion.
• Ed Gamble’s pre-recorded missives retained his sardonic spirit, even in absentia.
• The episode captured the lovable shambles, meta-humor, and personality-first style that define the Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby Radio X experience.

---

Summary by [Your Assistant Name], 2026

Transcript

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a global player original podcast. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X. Hello everybody and welcome to the podcast of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show, the show that we do on the radio on a Sunday morning. And by we, I mean me and Ed Gamble, the comedian Ed Gamble that you know and you love from not the Week. So, yeah, Ed's not here this week. He, he is still on tour in the States. He's still out tearing up Brooklyn, dc. I'm assuming he's going to be going over to la. It looks like that he should. So, yeah, he's not here this week and. Well, how much do we say?

[Vin]

I think we should say it all.

[Matthew Crosby]

No one's here this week. It's just me and it's just Vin and it's. There was, there was talk, there was talk yesterday when we found out that our regular co host, Rhys James was sick, that we would just not come, none of us would come in.

[Vin]

He was very sweet.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I don't doubt it. And I'll send him a message now. I didn't want to send him a message before the show, but I'll send him a message now to wish him well and hope he gets well soon. But yeah, we're sort of faced with a challenge. Do we, do we do the show or do we not do the show? And I pushed hard to do the show and I'm really pleased I did. And also we've got a safety net in that. I just tested basically every comedian I knew. I said, what are you doing tomorrow morning? Can I get you on Zoom for five minutes? And quite a few of them said yes.

[Vin]

A lot of them said no, first of all.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, well, no, no. The first person I messaged said yes.

[Vin]

Well, Josh is always.

[Matthew Crosby]

And he's our first guest. Exactly. Because he's one of my best friends in the world. So, yeah, so Josh is obviously on the show. Alex Horn, he said yes. Again, like I say on the show, the first two cabs off the rank, always Josh and Alex Horne, they said yes. But I tell you what, it's a star studded lineup of people who said no.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

All your favorite comedians said no.

[Vin]

Guys, do we need to run? Should we run through that?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, we can't. We can't, we can't. I will say good luck to Joe Wilkinson in his half marathon today. Good luck to him.

[Vin]

Well, Fern Brady's on the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fern Brady is on the show, you know, running. Sort of not deterred by the fact that she was also running. Yeah, she came on the show and then Joel Dommet, Harry Hill, two of ITV's biggest stars. Heard of them. Yeah. Joel Dommet and Harry Hill showed up. So. Fantastic. What a treat. We can't do this every week.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm not sure we've set a precedent now.

[Vin]

What does it say about the show?

[Matthew Crosby]

They're basically saying, listen, if Ed doesn't show up, Matthew will get his little black book out and you'll have an absolutely star studded show. More stars than the Moyles show. Yeah. Anyway, it happened, We've done it, we finished it. Now we're not even recording during the show because we literally didn't have time. Cause we were texting and FaceTiming people all the way through the show. I'll read some emails and then we'll get on with the messy business of it.

[Vin]

Peter, we've got another guest as well. Special guest at the end of the podcast.

[Matthew Crosby]

We do. We've got another special guest.

[Vin]

Hang around for that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Stick around for that. Peter writes. I remember Joe Pasquale. Thank you, Peter. That's always good to know. Siobhan in Wales says hi. Crunch Crumble. And producer Vin. Well, you know, 2/3, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Happy radio. This doesn't really fit in with any of your texts, but I think it would appeal to Matthew because he likes weird clothes. I mean that as a compliment. I work in a charity shop and this morning the first thing I saw upon arrival was this top. I am so confused by it. It makes no sense whatsoever. I then thought Crosby would like this, so I thought I'd send it in for your amusement. Enjoy. Now you've only sent in the photo. I was hoping to get the T shirt. It's a scoop neck T shirt. A big wide necked T shirt that. That has little pockets in it, little pockets down, sort of by your waist. Very rare to see the pockets there on a T shirt. You have to get it on the old breastplate.

[Vin]

It feels like a pregnancy T shirt.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's what it says to me. It does feel like a pregnancy T shirt. It really does. But what does it say on it? Typeface exist yet. And then aside from that, it says that don't even. All in different sort of. All in different fonts. I think it's typefaces that don't even exist yet, is what they're trying to say.

[Vin]

Sort of quite like live laugh, lovey. Yeah, sort of font, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Typeface exist yet. If you. If you saw someone walking down the street and you couldn't read the small print. It would just say typeface exist yet? Which sounds like a question you would ask somebody.

[Vin]

An error, a printing error?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, maybe. But I mean, I think it's a good T shirt. I would wear that T shirt. Well, of course. And also I've got a gorgeous decolletage which I don't show off enough. So I feel like. Yeah, you know, Siobhan, if you're willing to. If you're willing to. To send it to us, we'd love that.

[Vin]

Well, you know, that's the royal we. Is it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, the royal we want to wear that. Well, I say send it to us as in send it. Send it to. Send it to Radio X. And I will. I will wear it. Thank you, Siobhan. And tell us what the charity is and we'll make a donation to the charity. And that is. That's. That's Finn.

[Vin]

That's not.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not me.

[Vin]

I hate charity.

[Matthew Crosby]

This one from. Yeah, that's right. Sorry, Fearne. We hate charity. Now, I can't read a lot of this because a lot of it is in. In Welsh, but I like the fact that this is clearly a clear message for the wrong show.

[Vin]

Yep.

[Matthew Crosby]

Pwin had boys. Prin Juan da boys. Ellis has made it very clear that musical theater isn't his bag. But what about the musical theater which is all about the Chartist uprising of the. Of the clan clannidoes in 1839. I thought as much, Ellis. I'm sure you all have heard of pom. I'm not going to garble the language anymore. It was first performed in 1988 and has toured Wales several times. This is the link to a recording of the open air performance last year on Great Oak street where the actual historical events took place. Here's a fun fact for you. It was written by the late Derek Williams, Linda Gittins and Penry Roberts, who just so happens to be the father of Ellis James Doppelganger in chief. Dylan, who was once the theatre. Theatre Morwen Sound tech. Enjoy. Joby or Joby. Well, Joby, you've said it to the wrong show, mate.

[Vin]

So it's interesting that they've. Their listeners are more intelligent than our listeners.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh yeah, Much, much more so.

[Vin]

But still boring.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's true.

[Vin]

That's a boring email.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a boring message to receive and it's even more boring when it gets sent to the wrong show.

[Vin]

Is he like. Yeah, he would be interested, I suppose.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. We will forward it on the screen.

[Vin]

I wouldn't Want to hear. I wouldn't want to hear that being read out and then. And then that being discussed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, too late. It's going to happen. I'm forwarding this onto Dave Masterman.

[Joel Dommett]

Oh, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I'm afraid.

[Vin]

Well, you've got to keep Dave sweet, haven't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got to keep Dave sweet. Yeah. Next time.

[Vin]

Dochis Touring or something.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anya said no, and I really was. I was this close to saying, do you not remember the big favor I did for you, mate?

[Vin]

She's a star. Anya's a star now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anya is a star. She's working hard on Alice and John. She's working hard on the new Alice and John show that she's doing. No, she's working on. To be fair, we share a studio with Saturday Night Live. We're sharing a building last leg. And they are working so much harder than people who are doing a show at 10pm live on the telly that night. Friday Night Live. The last leg show is we do not work as hard as the SNL guys are working already, but we've been doing it for 13 years and we're all old men.

[Vin]

That's the difference.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is the difference. They're young people. Dear Fellowship of the Ving and hosts. Lop the s off there. Have you worn shorts outside of the house yet in 2026? Well, I sleep in shorts and I've. When I go out and do the bins. Yeah, I have done.

[Vin]

I cycle to work and I've been cycling in shorts.

[Matthew Crosby]

There you go.

[Vin]

I've worn leggings once this year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Leggings. Yeah. Yeah. You're wearing those, are you?

[Vin]

But I've only done it once and even then it was. No, actually, no. It was cold then. It was. But it's been shorts year round.

[Matthew Crosby]

Mr. Jones says. I did it last weekend. It was fine. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thank you, Mr. Jones. We can tell why the Counting Crows wrote a song about you. You're a good lady. And then finally. Oh, this is a chunky one, but we'll read it anyway. This is from Harry and Thurrock.

[Vin]

How chunky.

[Joel Dommett]

What's that?

[Vin]

I'm aware that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you want to. Do you want to get on with it?

[Vin]

Not that. It's just that I've just called something boring. So is it going to be boring or is it going to be fun?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's good. I think this. I think it's good. Yeah. Yeah.

[Vin]

A lot of pressure.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I think this is. I think this is good.

[Alex Horne]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm Going to. You know what? I'm going to back this one and I'm gonna. I'm not gonna do all of the bits of it. Hi, Crunch Crumble and vincert. Vincertcleverpun here. I emailed a couple of weeks ago, but I have a couple of follow ups. Firstly, a couple of what do I not know what it is? Is. Okay, the Spotify algorithm, how's it. How does it know to group songs of the same together, of the same genre?

[Josh Widdicombe]

Well, because.

[Vin]

Oh, God's sake.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, it makes sense. The listeners of one band are more likely to listen to songs of a similar band. But how does Spotify know what genre or style or how do you think those songs are in the first place?

[Ed Gamble]

Have a thought.

[Matthew Crosby]

Does it possess some kind of listening ability?

[Vin]

I can't believe this is a real email.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know the answer to that. Go on, you tell me.

[Vin]

What are you talking about? You don't know the answer?

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know what the answer is.

[Vin]

Jesus Christ.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what? You were very good all the way through. To not be negative. And I think, you know, this is a bit like when my kids get home after having to be on their best behavior all day and then they really go berserk when they get on the podcast. You're really. You're really acting up now, aren't you? Also thoughts, specifically. Also thoughts specifically. How we're able to form and visualize full sentences in our heads faster than we're able to speak them blows my tiny mind. Now, I speak first and think later, as you will know from listening to the show for. For the last six and a half years. Secondly, when did you last go to Birmingham? Do you remember our text of when did you last go to Birmingham?

[Vin]

No, but I'm more. I'm more up for that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. I haven't been in nearly a decade, but I have a stonker of a Birminghamecdote for you. Okay. In my final year at the University of Reading, I planned to meet my friend at the excellent entirely student run music festival Vail fest at about 10am on a Sunday morning in Birmingham. However, in my infinite wisdom, I'd forgotten that on the Saturday night was my course End of term ball, where we all got glammed up and stayed up till 3am Getting absolutely gazeboed. I awoke on my housemate's sofa in my tux at 8:45am with a stonking hangover. Sprinted to my student house, changed into some comfy clothes. Oh, go to the festival in your Tux. Why not change into some comfy clothes and headed to the train station without even having to having a shower? Throughout my journey, I thought to myself that people seemed particularly happy and smiley towards me. I presumed everyone was in a good mood, particularly those I encountered in Birmingham. However, when I arrived over an hour late at the festival, my friend was very quick to point out that on my face was a mustache, beard and a pair of glasses hand drawn in bright green pen. It turns out that I traveled for over an hour with some cheeky with something some cheeky so and so had hand drawn on me after I fell asleep. And that people weren't just being friendly, they were clearly stifling laughter. I no longer drink and I'm no longer in touch with said friend. Perhaps it's for the best. Best of luck in the podcast charts this week, Harry and Thurrock.

[Vin]

Okay, so it improved, Harry. It improved.

[Matthew Crosby]

How does the algorithm work then, Vin? You can tell us.

[Vin]

Well, that's not what he's. He's not asking how does the algorithm work? He's asking how. How does Spotify know what the song sound like?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, how does it. How does it know what the song sounds like? Because that's the reason that Harness your hopes is like the biggest Pavement song is because it's got a particular pattern and rhythm that Spotify have spotted that it sounds like a lot of other songs that you would like of that genre.

[Josh Widdicombe]

I don't think.

[Matthew Crosby]

But how have. How has it done?

[Vin]

I don't think Harry's even asking at that level. I think Harry's. I think Harry doesn't realize that you can call a song a rock song.

[Matthew Crosby]

I see. I thought he was going, you know, in the sort of. In the cellular level of how are they looking at it and analyzing the sort of. There's a loud bit here and a quiet bit here and a loud bit here and a quiet bit here.

[Vin]

I don't think that's. I don't think that is what he's asking. Okay, but if that is what he's asking, that's the answer.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, fair enough. All right. Anyway, Harry, yes, you redeemed yourself at the last minute, but I love the message from start to bloody finish. And you're gonna love this from start to finish. What a fun time we had. Enjoy. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, RADIOX Good morning, everyone. This is Radio X and welcome to the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio show with Rhys James. Now, Rhys agreed to stand in for Ed while he's away on his North American tour. So technically it's the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show with Rhys James, but no Ed Gamble. However, yesterday we got some. We got some bad news. Rhys James has the flu and he can't do the show. So this is the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show with Rhys James, but no Ed Gamble or Rhys James. What are we going to do? Now, that's not a rhetorical question. What are we going to do? We genuinely talked about not doing the show. Vin said, how are we going to fill three hours? Well, here at the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show on Radio X, worrying if we have enough material to fill three hours has never been our concern. That's not what we're about. Even on a very, very good day. This show is the radio equivalent of Gromit laying down the tracks as the train has already started hurtling away. And never more so than today. But with you, the listeners, by our side, I believe that we can achieve. I believe we can do what, let's face it, basically every other DJ on this station already does a radio show with one host. But no, genuinely, we don't know what we're gonna do. We've got no idea. Vin's here. Hello, Vin is here. I'm here. Over the next three hours we will come up with something. One thing we can guarantee though is we're going to be playing some indie rock bangers, possibly more so than ever. Maybe we'll let the emergency tape play, maybe we'll hear some Franz Ferdinand. But for the moment, let's start with the future heads. This is Hounds of Love on Radio X. What are we going to do? Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with Matthew Crosby X. Radio X. It's Ed. Oh no, it isn't, It's Reece. Oh, hang on. No, no, it's not. It's just me, Matthew Crosby here on the radio till 11am really? What are we going to do? Well, already the switchboard has lit up. Will has said, sounds like it's gonna be a morning of too many texters. And Andy has said, I've spoken with every other single listener and we've decided not to do a text today. Well, I've got some text topics I'm gonna throw em out there early doors. If anyone wants to hit us with any of these, you're more than welcome to. I wrote a few of these on the way. Coming in. What's the strangest thing you've seen behind a Curtain? Get in touch 83936 on the text or of course you can. WhatsApp us through the global Player.

[Vin]

I have an answer for that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you?

[Vin]

Okay, I'll tell you at the end.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hang on to that, hang on to that. Ever sat in a celebrity's lap? Get in touch.

[Vin]

Have I got an answer for that.

[Matthew Crosby]

You must have done, surely. When you're doing some sort of, you know, track by track. Liam Gallagher said, come on, just come over here and sit on. Sit on my lap. Just to calm me down.

[Vin]

Like a little cat.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just to. Exactly, yes. Yeah, very much like sort of Blofeld or something like that. Something he can stroke while he's. He's talking about wall of glass. What about caravanning disasters? Have you had a caravanning disaster? Get in touch 83936 on the text or you can WhatsApp us through the Global Player. Can you whistle really well, Send us a voice note. Any stories about hats, about handstands, cartwheels or doing the splits. And of course, anything on the topic of. I was saving that for later. So there we go. We've got stranger things behind a curtain. Celebrity's lap, caravanning disasters. Whistle really well. Hands downs, cartwheels, doing the splits. I was saving that for later. We've had a few messages in already. Sam the barista says, have we considered getting Andy the Painter in as co host? I genuinely thought about it. The problem is he's too funny. I don't want him to out. Listen, we all know what happened, right, back in the 90s on the jack Docherty Show. Jack Doherty takes a week off, right? He takes a week off. A young. No one's heard of this guy. A young buck comes in called Graham Norton. The rest they say, is history. Fate played the strike. Exactly. We're not getting Andy the Painter on. We simply can't have it. Tom Crane on Zoom. Listen, the idea that Tom Crane knows how to work a zoom is laughable. Tom Crane or Zoom AI. John Robbins. Or maybe add some long pauses and assume John Kearns is in. We could do that actually, whenever we normally pre record John Kearns because he does set off the emergency tape and

[Vin]

then play it on double speed.

[Matthew Crosby]

You play it on double speed. Exactly. Thank you to James for those. Or just start with some anecdotes about things from the 70s. No one will stop you. Well, I have brought. I've brought in this. Oh no, I've brought in.

[Vin]

Who sent that in. Texted that.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was James. Thank you, James. It could have been me.

[Vin]

Damn it, James.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got the ultimate music. The ultimate music guide to Steely Dan here. The full Steely Dan story, major dudes 11.99 from all good News agents.

[Vin]

So you're, you're showing this prop to me as a joke of. Oh, it wouldn't be funny if I actually, if I actually read this. But you're already getting into it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Already into it. Every album reviewed in depth. We could go, we could, we could do an album by album of Steely Dan before. I mean we won't be able to play first link. We won't be able to play any Steely Dan. But I've got all of the information right here. Right.

[Vin]

So I, I peeled back the curtains once.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh yes, tell me about curtains.

[Vin]

Open the curtains. I was in Liverpool.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

And what I saw, the strange thing I saw was opposite, on the building, opposite a picture of Robbie Williams.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, you sure it wasn't Robbie Williams on the other side?

[Vin]

Williams at the lma. Yes, whatever that is.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's Liverpool. Is that Laughing my laugh my ass off. Isn't that what it is?

[Vin]

It's a picture of Robbie Williams and then it's a quote as in, it's, it's in quotation marks. It says, come and study your degree with us. And then afterwards it says Robbie Williams,

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't want to rock dj, but I do want a rock ma, if that's possible.

[Vin]

Do you think he said that? He's not even from Liverpool. It just confused so much. Yeah, Famously from Stoke.

[Matthew Crosby]

Famous. He's never stops telling us he's from Stoke. Do you think? Because what they clearly do, you go past a school, right? Or you go past a university or a college and they've clearly got the most presentable looking kids, right? Clearly at that university they had no one presentable. They had to get a picture of Robbie Williams. Instead everybody shows up in their baggy jeans and bucket hats and that. Well, we can't put this on the poster. Let's get a nice clean cut boy like Robbie Williams instead.

[Vin]

It's the quotation marks that are funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. It's absolutely not one of his most famous quotes. You know England, I am your son. That's one. You know when he came out at Nebworth. Come and what is it? Order your seat at learning now. What was the phrase?

[Vin]

Come and study your degree with us.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come and study your degree with us. I don't know, I've not heard his new single. Maybe that's what it's called. So what have you seen behind a curtain? 83936 on the text or of course you can WhatsApp us through the Global player.

[Vin]

Good idea.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's that?

[Vin]

Good idea from Andrew. Let's get Paul Ready on the air, shall we?

[Matthew Crosby]

Try and get Paul ready on the air.

[Vin]

Well, you promised that weeks ago.

[Matthew Crosby]

I did promise it.

[Vin]

Paul Ready from Motherland.

[Matthew Crosby]

Paul ready from Motherland in Amanda land. Yes, my arch nemesis. I'll see if I can get Paul Ready's phone number and see if I can speak to Paul Ready on the air. This is Steely Dan. Of course it is. It's Arctic Monkeys opening night here on Radio X. Crobby J and the Machine, Radio X. It turns out we have actually got plenty on the show for you because the texts have taken off already. We've got some great stuff for what have you seen behind a curtain? But how well can you whistle? We've had this voice note in already from Dias. Let's hear it. So I can do a pretty good whistle. It's called the Cuckoo. Here it goes. It can also go like this. Right now that is proper radio. We can all agree on that. That is exactly what. That's exactly three hours of that, which. It's got to be three hours of this. It has to be three hours. No, you know what? We've had another voice note as well because he's the reason we're left in the lurch. Ed Gamble is not here. He's currently doing his residency at Mar a Lago, so he's there at the moment, but he sent us a message.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Matthew, Ed Gamble here, your occasional co host. Hope you're doing all right, mate. I am currently walking through Brooklyn on the way to my sold out show at Brooklyn Bell House. But I hear that your more occasional co host, Rhys James, has dropped out of this week's show, which is a shame. He is a sickly boy, as you can tell from looking at him. I'd imagine. What happened was he coughed into a hankie, examined the hanky and there was some blood spotting. He's had to stay indoors, which is fair enough. He's a very ill little bird, so you've got to do the show by yourself. I just want to let you know that whilst I have faith in you, I do worry that your confidence might be a little. A little shaky. I just want you to remember that at no point during the show when I've been there have I ever thought that you changed what you were saying because there was someone else in the studio. That's it. I'll probably send a few more of these that you can play during the show just to sort of bulk out the time, really. There's only so many anecdotes about Alaric you can get in. Right, well, that's what you see in a bit. This is the Arctic Monkeys.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, he was so close. He was so close. But he's absolutely right about Rhys. He has got black lung from all his time up the chimneys in Victorian Britain. And we would. If only we'd played it just before. If only this show wasn't as thrown together as it simply has to be. Well, thank you, Ed. He sent us more clips as well.

[Vin]

Yeah, there's a few more to come.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I'm basically co hosting, then. It's just like a normal show.

[Vin]

Yeah, well, we could also get some guests on.

[Matthew Crosby]

We could get some guests on. And in fact, I have. I've gone through my little black book and we do have a mystery guest just around the corner. Here it is. Josh Whitaker. Of course, it's Josh Whitaker, Ed Gamble and mother Matthew. Radio X, our first guest. We don't know how many scoops for Daddy we're gonna have today. At least one. And the first one is a fantastic scoop. It is, of course, Josh Widdicombe. Hello, Josh.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Good morning.

[Alex Horne]

How are you?

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm very, very well, thank you very much. Flying solo today because, of course, Rhys James is as sadly ill and Ed Gamble has sadly died. So really bad news, but, you know, we're soldiering on. We're soldiering on. Whereabouts in the world are you at the moment?

[Josh Widdicombe]

I'm. I almost said the hotel I'm in. I'm in York.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Don't. Don't dox yourself. Ivogram has done that before and it's a real disaster.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in York at. At the Holiday Inn.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's right. That's right. Basically, just Google the second nicest hotel and that's where Josh is right now. So. So, Josh, now you, obviously, you're used to the solo, you know, the solo radio life, aren't you?

[Josh Widdicombe]

Well, obviously, I. I did the show. The very slot that you do, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Josh Widdicombe]

When before Radio X renamed itself, I was on XFM solo. I don't think we made as big

[Vin]

a deal

[Ed Gamble]

this morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, as we, as we pointed out, everybody else does a solo show.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Exactly, yes. So I think it's a strange panic to be left on your own. I had. You've got. Obviously. And also you've got Vin. So you've essentially got someone. I used to have a man called Neil Fern, God rest his soul, of course, who now he now sits there and Listens to Marina Hyde and Richard Osmond. Take apart the entertainment industry.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's the guy who does the Googling, isn't he? He Googles the answers and then puts him in front of Marina and Richard.

[Josh Widdicombe]

He's the guy who says that's not legally. Okay, so just keep the boring thing. No, he also does. The rest is science. And he. Before our first link, so obviously you get to talk to Vin. It was. I was allowed to talk to Neil and in the 10 seconds before my first ever link on Radio X, he should he just. Oh, X of him. He said, just so you know, I'm not a laugher.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's what you want to hear as a comedian.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Yeah. Do you know what? He's perfect for the rest of science.

[Joel Dommett]

So.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you were just sort of. Did you try and be funny and did you try and crack him? Did you ever crack him? Because I don't remember Neil.

[Josh Widdicombe]

He did laugh a lot. I know he did laugh along silently.

[Matthew Crosby]

He showed.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Am I allowed to say that I work on arrival? I don't think it is. A rival radio station. A different radio station.

[Matthew Crosby]

You work on another radio station? Other radio stations, yeah.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Yeah. Is that okay to say? Other radio stations exist, of course, some of which are paid for out of the pockets of your very listeners through the license fee.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know. Disgusting.

[Josh Widdicombe]

I know it's socialism gone mad. But they. I. I'm on sometimes when I cover for people on that. I'm. I'm not even in a room with someone, Matthew, so much. If Vin wasn't in the room with you.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is like me.

[Josh Widdicombe]

It's me in a room on my own with no laughers even on that. The only laughers are people on a soundproof glass window that occasionally will laugh quite, quite cartoonly to show me that they're kind of showing support.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you not want to sort of surround yourself with a zoo team? Are you not sort of. Do you not need a Comedy Dave figure or someone to sit next to you?

[Josh Widdicombe]

Due to cuts at the BBC, I think the zoo format is dead.

[Matthew Crosby]

But listen, you don't need. You don't need laughers because you've gone enormous on socials this week, haven't you? You've absolutely exploded on socials with your new formats of slow social media. We've had slow TV. You're now doing slow socials, Crosby.

[Josh Widdicombe]

I'm basically G.K. barry at this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew Crosby and Matthew Crosby. What have you done?

[Josh Widdicombe]

Huge week on the socials, Crosby. So I do a podcast called Parenting Hell and we, for some Reason discussed me live streaming my train to London on Instagram and it. It went viral, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

It blew up.

[Josh Widdicombe]

It went viral. It blew up. Well, no, obviously, no. I almost made a joke that probably wouldn't be good for Radio X there. Yeah, let's leave it. Let's leave it.

[Matthew Crosby]

The listeners can make it in their heads and you'd have to be canceled.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Exactly. Cancel yourselves listeners if you want. But yes, we. So I, I Crosby. I Rob Beckett thinks I should set up a YouTube channel of just me filming myself silently on the train because people found it calming.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, well, like I say, it was like slow tv, you know, when people used to watch train journeys. But often that was the outside of the train rather than the inside of the train. I know, but you are an incredibly calming presence. That's why I wanted you on as our guest. Cuz you're an incredibly calm person.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Bring the mood down. Bring the mood down.

[Matthew Crosby]

In fact, would you mind if we just sat in silence for a couple of minutes? Cuz I just.

[Josh Widdicombe]

I wouldn't. But would the thing kick? It wouldn't. Wouldn't the emergency thing kick?

[Matthew Crosby]

In France, Ferdinand would play. That's right.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Franz Ferdinand would play.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Alex just stood in the corner at any, any minute ready to. To step in. He's just stood there with an acoustic guitar ready to start and if you're lonely. But yes. So this is a thing.

[Josh Widdicombe]

We occasionally send DMS on Instagram, me and Alex Capranos.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really? Did he. Did he approve of your. Your train to Maybe could take a train up to, to Scotland?

[Josh Widdicombe]

He didn't chuck me alike on it. It's exciting. But GK Barry chucked me alike, so it must be. That must be onto something.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. She know. She knows a new viral craze when she sees one.

[Josh Widdicombe]

She knows a new viral. I. I worry people. Other people are going to start doing it. So I'm. I'm wondering whether I need to book a train journey in because I haven't

[Matthew Crosby]

got many coming up. I don't think you've invented sort of filming yourself and not doing all that much, but no, I don't.

[Josh Widdicombe]

I don't think I have. But I've. I've certainly capitalized. I don't know how to monetize it. I was thinking, I was thinking I could just have a bottle of fuel in front of me

[Matthew Crosby]

occasionally.

[Joel Dommett]

Take.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you know what? If you. Listen, if you're a, a big company and you would like Josh Whitaker to enjoy your product on a train, he's very happy to do it. This man can be bored too.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Right. I could check the time on an Apple watch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Josh Widdicombe]

I could. I could make a purchase on my Monzo credit card.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly.

[Josh Widdicombe]

These are all ideas I'm throwing around.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. You could. You could do some sanding on a Black and Decker workbench.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Exactly, exactly.

[Matthew Crosby]

These options are all there.

[Josh Widdicombe]

You know, there is a plug next to me because, full disclosure, I'm in first class. I've got to treat myself because you've got. You've got to speculate to accumulate and then you film yourself on the train

[Matthew Crosby]

game and you've got to invest in the equipment first, haven't you?

[Josh Widdicombe]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. You know, you've basically got to. You've got to dress for the job you want, haven't you? And I wanted to be the most well paid man on the train, so.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, of course, Portillo is currently. Portillo is the guy to beat, isn't he?

[Josh Widdicombe]

No, I think that was. I think that was the 1997.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sorry, I'm a little behind on the news, I think. I think my BBC News app is on the fritz at the moment, but

[Josh Widdicombe]

I think that was Stephen twig in the 1997 election. Where did I get that knowledge from? It's been a joy to speak to you, but because I've got a video link up to the studio, I've seen Vin doing the Time Signal Crosby, so I just want you to know that he thinks we've had enough of this chat.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love it.

[Vin]

I'm loving the chat. We just simply have to play Kasabian.

[Matthew Crosby]

We have to play Kasabian. Those are the rules, Josh. We don't make the rules, but we love sticking to them. When a song is as good as. You're in love with a psycho. Josh Whitakem, it's been an absolute pleasure.

[Vin]

Josh, what's the name of all your podcasts, please?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, tell us all your podcasts.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Oh, the Museum of Pop Culture is the one you want to listen to because parenting, hell, people have made their mind up on.

[Matthew Crosby]

But this one's still up for grabs.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Yes, he also features Matthew Crosby. So perfect for Radio X listeners. I think. I think I'd listen to. I'd listen to it from 11:00am yes, absolutely right. Who is it? Danny Wallace.

[Matthew Crosby]

Danny Watt. Apologies to Wallace.

[Josh Widdicombe]

Sorry, Danny.

[Matthew Crosby]

To the Museum of Pop Culture. And then one day Josh will be ill and I'll have to do it on my own. And what a joy that will be. This is your.

[Josh Widdicombe]

At least you won't Make a lot of that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. We have actually got some Ed Gamble, so I don't know why I was saying we've got no Ed Gamble. We've got some Ed Gamble because he's left us a voice note. Let's hear voice note number two.

[Ed Gamble]

Hi, Matthew and Vin, it's Ed again. I hope the show's going well, Matthew, and that you haven't had a full mental breakdown by now. I'm backstage at my sold out show at the Brooklyn Bell House. Sold out. I'm back here with my opening act, a plucky young up and coming American comic called Stuart Laws. Say hello, Stuart.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, howdy there. How's it all going?

[Ed Gamble]

It's going pretty well. Now, Stuart, something you don't know is that Rhys James was supposed to be co hosting the show this week, but unfortunately he's got the flu so Matthew has to co host the show by himself. How do you think it's going so far?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, probably right. Rootin tootin bad.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Good luck, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, Stuart. Oh, that's really. I mean he really surprised me. That's good comedy there because he takes you one way and you think, oh, root and tootin, it's gonna be fantastic. But rootin tootin bad, how dare you. Well, you know what? He's banned from the show. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Radio X hat hat. We found a message in. Now who was this from? It's from an anonymous texter who says I once pulled back the curtain of a cloak room to find Tim Key rummaging for his bag. Now this is where it gets a little bit spicy. He was on my laminated celebrity free pass list at the time. At the time. So I was pretty pleased.

[Vin]

He politely laminated.

[Matthew Crosby]

But that's from. That's from Friends, isn't it? You laminate it to lock it in, don't you thought that was a joke. Yes, well, but I mean, I don't know. I don't know if this person has actually laminated the list, but it's like, you know, those are the people you've locked in.

[Vin]

Okay, you think it's a turn of phrase?

[Matthew Crosby]

I think it's a turn of phrase. I don't think. I don't think this person then just pulled out a laminated card.

[Vin]

I think whoever this is is a weird creep servo.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's no denying that's not for debate. Whoever this is is a creep. But still, I don't think they ever use the laminator. He politely declined. It was the Cloak room of a poetry club in London in the early noughts. Yes. Well, have you ever. Have you ever had a chat with your partner about the top five? Because it's. It's very. It's real wishful thinking, isn't it? Yeah, it really is.

[Vin]

I think it's quite a mental thought experiment, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

It is, yeah.

[Vin]

I don't think it's a thing you need to share either.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why? What? Just to make you really comfortable. I just want to tell you five people I desire more than you. Is that okay? Would that be. Would you be all right with that? Alison writes, Morning. I once opened my bedroom curtains just in time to see the man in the house opposite mine jump out of his upstairs window and get tasered by the police. Hope that helps. Now, I don't know if just in time is the right phrase here, Alison. Oh, 30 seconds later, I would have missed that. What a treat. I knew I moved to the area for a good reason. Mask you Crobley and radio Ed. Radio X. I don't know. What's the strangest thing you've seen behind a curtain ever sat in a celebrity's lap? We've had nothing for that so far. Caravanning disasters. That's been an absolute airshot as well. Can you whistle? Really? Well, send us a voice note. Any stories about hands, downs, cartwheels or doing the splits or. Of course, I was saving that for later. Just to go back to our message from the creep who we had earlier on.

[Vin]

Oh, the purvo.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep, the old purvo. Yeah. Who had Tim Key in the early noughties. Had Tim Key on their laminated list.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Vin]

She wanted to laminate Tim Key.

[Matthew Crosby]

She wanted to laminate Tim Key. You know, you've got your top five. It was from friends that he talked about in Friends. Your top five people, celebrities that you get a free pass with with your partner. Now they've got back in touch as they turn a phrase. Have never owned a laminator. So it wasn't actually a laminated list. And then when I told my partner, turns out he actually didn't believe in free passes. I think that. I think you've got the story all the wrong way around there, mate. You have to tell your partner that you've got. You have. When you make your list, it has to be done almost in tandem with your partner. Right.

[Vin]

Believe in as well. That's. That's a strange turn of phrase.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, sure, they. They exist.

[Harry Hill]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He just doesn't want to do that. Doesn't want to do.

[Vin]

Yeah, that's different, though, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

And I think not.

[Alex Horne]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Not up for it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Somebody else, Adam has said, was Timke a big enough name in the early 2000s to be on anyone's top five lists? Now, I think our friend, the creep here has played a blinder. Get someone achievable. Don't listen. Don't shoot for your Brad Pitts and your George Clooneys. Shoot for somebody who is on the. Basically on the sort of just above the open mic circuit.

[Vin]

Timkey. Timkey's very much the British Brad Pitt.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's the British Pitt. Exactly. He really is. That's why I've got. I've got you on my laminated list. That's why. Very achievable, I think. Very achievable. And, you know, it's taken seven years and I'm getting closer and closer every day.

[Alex Horne]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Maybe one day we'll make eye contact.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe one. I very much doubt that. A curtain. Sorry? A curtain story from. Yes. From Alex in Blackwood. From the car. I hope you. What I always say is, I hope you pulled over to send this message. Curtain story. Woke up late one night to the sound of my keyboard being played. I was 10, very scared. So I went and got my sister. She came upstairs and pulled the curtains, and there was a ginger cat playing the keyboard. What a treat. A ginger cat playing. And Alex here doesn't say sort of mashing its paws on the keys.

[Vin]

Playing the keyboard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Playing the keyboard.

[Vin]

It was Garfield.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was. It was Keyboard Cat. It was Play Us Out Keyboard cat. She came up, said, pick. Keyboard Cat, by the way, was a big meme before Josh Whitakem took over the Internet. She came up and says, pull back the curtains. There was a ginger cat playing the keyboard. We did not have a ginger cat. We don't know whose cat. It was. Alex in Blackwood. From the car. He's also said, P.S. i can whistle. Well, we heard your tape, and I'm afraid to know from us, it started very strong, Alex's tape. But then it really. It really tailed off. It really tailed off. This message I love from Ksenia on the topic of handstands, cartwheels, or doing the splits. Ksenia writes, I once did a handstand against the wall and inexplicably got stuck. I just.

[Harry Hill]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

How have you sent the message, Ksenia? That's what we ought to know. How have you managed to do that? Are you typing it on a laptop with your nose? I wanted a handstand against the wall and inexplicably got stuck. I just couldn't push back off the wall. I tried yelling. I tried yelling for my husband. Now, I like this as well. So already we're suggesting you're of a certain age that you just thought, I'll do a handstand at home while my husband's in the other room. I tried yelling for my husband, who was very confused, but he didn't come fast enough. And I fell on my head, still confused how that happened. We can work it out. Ksenia, come on now. You did a handstand. The handstand, really? The handstand against the wall. I've never. I did a handstand on a beach once and I managed to. To fall over. I don't know how I managed to do. I managed to fall and hit my face directly into the sand. But as I was coming down, I kneed myself right in the nose.

[Vin]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's just not. The thing is, unless you're dignified. Yes, it's not dignified, exactly. The handstand is not dignified.

[Vin]

But she couldn't. She couldn't push herself away from the wall, even though she was up against the wall.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but you know what? It requires a lot of core strength.

[Vin]

Yeah, but you've got. Surely you just push backwards.

[Matthew Crosby]

All right, well, listen, we know what we're doing. In the next link, Finn's doing a handstand up against the wall.

[Vin]

I just don't understand it. We just got perverts and thickos.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got perverts and thickos. But I say this every time. You get the listeners you deserve. Speaking of listeners we deserve, Kathy Rivet not sat on a celebrity's lap, but sat next to Richard Osmond and his wife at a fringe venue. Our legs were touching. It was very odd. Thank you very much. That's exactly what we're after. Keep Those coming in 83936 on the text.

[Vin]

Not all three of you, not the legs of all three people.

[Matthew Crosby]

She sat between them. She said. Yeah, she sat between them. And she. And she really. It doesn't sound as good when you say woman spread, does it? Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. This is the Radio X heyday. We've got a few questions in from our listeners. First, KTS has said, I just woke up. Why is Matthew alone? Which is a phrase I would say to myself all the way through my 20s. I've just woke up. Why is Matthew alone? I'm alone because Ed Gamble is in America. Rhys James has The flu. I'm flying solo today and, well, when I'm flying solo, I need people by my side. I literally cannot do it without other people near me. And we've got Alex Horn on the line. Hello, Alex Horn, Good morning.

[Alex Horne]

It's a pleasure to fly solo with you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Pleasure to have you as my co pilot. It's great to have you here. Now, I've sent you some of the texts we're talking about. A huge revelation. I think this might be the sort of TMZ exclusive that we were looking for. Alex Horn, you can't whistle.

[Alex Horne]

No, well, I can't. I can't. No, it's Alex Horn, you can whistle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, sorry, sorry. Right, guys, don't go to press just yet. We've slightly changed the story. Alex Horn.

[Vin]

Gonna have to print a retraction.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm just looking at the message you sent me. You said, can't whistle.

[Alex Horne]

Ah, yeah, no, that's my fault. Yes, that was meant to say can whistle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Alex Horne]

Can't whistle. Well, can't whistle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, let us be the judge of that. Give us a little. Give us a little blast.

[Alex Horne]

Well, I can't. This is the whistle I do to get my dog back in the house.

[Matthew Crosby]

See, I think that's good whistling. I think that's good whistling.

[Harry Hill]

It works.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. It's better than the. You know, honestly, people, the listeners have been sending in their whistles so far, and it's better than some of the ones we've had. Although this one from Mr. Will is pretty good. Let's have here Mr. Will's. Mmm, yeah. Do you feel like your dog would respond to that?

[Alex Horne]

Yeah. It's got me over the fact that he's called Mr. Will, which I didn't enjoy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. That's not great, is it? I don't know, maybe he runs a restaurant or something. We don't know. But yeah, Mr. Mr. Will is his name. Whistling is his game. But obviously that is not your game. That's the exclusive we can reveal. You can whistle.

[Alex Horne]

I can.

[Matthew Crosby]

But also, you choose not to.

[Alex Horne]

But you can't whistle. Well, yeah, what I wouldn't do is spend too long talking about my whistling ability on a radio station.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, listen, it's happened already, mate. That ship has sailed.

[Alex Horne]

Oh, dear.

[Matthew Crosby]

You can whistle as much as you like. It's not coming back Sunday morning. Matthew, it is Sunday morning and you're drinking a green juice this morning.

[Alex Horne]

I'm also wearing a jumper with no T shirt underneath.

[Harry Hill]

Oh.

[Matthew Crosby]

How do you feel?

[Alex Horne]

Great. Yeah, I feel dirty. Dirty and brilliant.

[Matthew Crosby]

You Feel dirty. Dirty but clean, I guess. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, listen, we've got to ask you some of our big texters, though. We have to ask you some of them. What's the strangest thing you think you've seen behind a curtain? You've pulled back a curtain. What's the strangest thing you've seen?

[Alex Horne]

I was in a production of Joseph and the Technica Technicolor Dreamcoat.

[Matthew Crosby]

Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

[Alex Horne]

Amazing. That's it. It wasn't just a Technicolored one, it was an amazing Technicolored one.

[Matthew Crosby]

He had several, but he had one that was really good. And that was the one they were talking about in the musical. That was the one everyone sung about during the song.

[Alex Horne]

And that he has to draw back a curtain. And in our primary school production, because the line is, I closed my eyes and drew back the curtain and then see for certain. Which you can't with your eyes shut. No, but. But they drew back the curtain and there was a.

[Matthew Crosby]

It.

[Alex Horne]

They weren't meant to, but it was a window into the canteen and there was a boy crying in the canteen. And I think the next line is something about people weeping. So it was quite powerful.

[Vin]

Not because they were about to cook him, surely.

[Alex Horne]

I don't think they were gonna cook the child, Vinnie. No. I think he had been sort of badly behaved in the audience because there's

[Matthew Crosby]

a lot of rumors going around that at your school they used to cook and eat children. Just.

[Alex Horne]

Can you put that whistling?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Alex Horne]

They didn't do that. They didn't do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, listen, you know, I hate to go back to the. The unlit firework of whistling, but Andrew from Bradford's just got in touch to say Alex Horne's whistle stopped my dog just now. Andrew, has it happened again? Get back in touch. Get back in touch.

[Alex Horne]

What do you mean, stop the dog?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, the dog was probably trotting around, you know, like as dogs dead.

[Vin]

That's not.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, dear. No, no, sorry, I misread it. Alex, horse whistle has killed my dog just now. Where do I go for compensation?

[Alex Horne]

It does do that. It does kill some dogs. Yeah, I should have said.

[Matthew Crosby]

We should have mentioned that, really.

[Alex Horne]

Another one?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, another one bites the dust. Yeah. Well, while you're not. When you're not euthanizing dogs, you do like to go on caravanning trips. Have you had any caravanning disasters, Alex Horn?

[Alex Horne]

I've only got, well, caravanning or cartwheels or. What's your other texter, is it?

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got. Yeah. Handstands, cartwheels, sitting in a celebrity's lap, caravanning disasters.

[Alex Horne]

They're all involving Greg Davis. For me, the only lap I've sat in is Greg Davis's lap. What a lap. The only caravan I've been in is Greg Davis's. His caravan. And I've done a cartwheel, but only when he holds me up by my ankles. And these are all true.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, but.

[Alex Horne]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you ever. Have you ever done a handstand against a wall and got stuck? Because that's what happened to one of our listeners. Poor Ksenia did a handstand against a wall and then had to call her husband in and her husband couldn't hear her and she was stuck up against a wall.

[Alex Horne]

Well, look, you asked me before the interview, do I want to plug anything? And I said no. But there is a new series of Taskmaster coming in, which you will see Joanna Page either doing a handstand against the wall or not. So that's something to look forward to.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a bit. Right. So it's very much a sort of Schrodinger's handstand. We don't know. She's either doing a handstand or not doing a handstand. You don't know until you open the box, which is, of course, watching Taskmaster on Channel four.

[Alex Horne]

Yes. But I will say she thinks she can do a handstand. I will say that.

[Matthew Crosby]

And you think you can't whistle. So it all sort of fits together, doesn't it? It all fits together.

[Alex Horne]

It's a great interview.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thanks very much. That's all I needed. I was just. I was. We were. We were sort of circling around trying to land it. But you landed the perfect phrase. This has been what I would call a great interview. This is one of the great. Yeah, absolutely. Horn Crossing Reef has got flu.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm glad he's ill. Me too. Me too. It was, you know, like, he looks ill anyway. He may as well put his money where his mouth is and actually be

[Alex Horne]

ill. Also, he's so sharp. I think you need to smooth the edges off him.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Alex Horne]

Too witty.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I thought you meant his face. Because his face. He's too witty. What you really need is a bit more Crosby.

[Alex Horne]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Someone who's, like I just said, anyone's just put anyone in front of a microphone, they pretty much do the sort of job you're doing. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yep, that's it.

[Alex Horne]

Good morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was a good interview, Alex. Horn, thanks so much for helping us out. What a treat to have you on the show.

[Alex Horne]

What a treat. What a treat for everyone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you want to. Okay, do you want to give a big shout out to some 41 who are playing next? Because I know you mentioned them next

[Alex Horne]

up, by the way, I've just put a dartboard up this morning, so it's been a good morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a morning you've had. Fantastic.

[Alex Horne]

My son hit it off with his head last night.

[Harry Hill]

Oh.

[Alex Horne]

He stood up underneath it and his head caught it and the whole thing fell down.

[Matthew Crosby]

But it's back up and your son's okay.

[Alex Horne]

Haven't checked. Sum 41 on X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you so much. Alex Horn, Crobby J and the Machine. Radio X. Yes, indeed it is. Matthew Crosby here on Radio X. And I've got. Will you be able to hear this? Fern, start speaking.

[Fern Brady]

I just woke up. I haven't gone running yet.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, Fern. Well, I could tell you now you were live on the air, so just, just, you know, it is a Sunday morning. Of course. So please keep it, keep it, keep it clean. Now, I knew you hadn't gone running, Fern, because when I, when I checked your WhatsApp because you said, oh, maybe you can message me tomorrow. Maybe we can get, get you on the air. I'll be on, I'll be on a very long run. I'm running 26k because I'm doing the marathon. I saw on your WhatsApp that you last. Yes, I did. You did. You did. It did say on your WhatsApp. Last checked at 1:51am And I thought, she's not on that run.

[Fern Brady]

Yeah, I mean, I was. What happened? I didn't go out or anything. I just lay awake worrying about the run because I've got to do a. Do you know the show Heated Rivalry?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I know the show Heated Rivalry. Of course, the sexy ice hockey show.

[Fern Brady]

Yeah, I love it. And I'm doing a podcast, like a live podcast about it tonight. I'm not trying to plug it. It's sold out. I thought, I thought if I run too much, I'm not going to be able to talk enthusiastically about my favorite program in the world. So I'm already trying to find ways to worm out of the run.

[Matthew Crosby]

But you, you said, because you said you are going to be running. You're running. Are you running the London Marathon, is that right?

[Fern Brady]

Yeah, for an autism charity called Autistica. So I have, like, I have to, I have to go running today.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got to do it. You absolutely have to do it. I mean, you might not do 26k, but you've got to do it. And I'm sure people will do 26k. Now you've said that you don't have to do 20. Listen, I'm just saying now you don't have to do 26k. Fern, it's going to be okay. By the way, have I said it's Fern Brady. Everyone knows it's Fern Brady.

[Harry Hill]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fern Brady here on Radio X on the Matthew Crosby Show.

[Vin]

Have you explained why you're solo as well? Also, Fern can't hear me talking to

[Josh Widdicombe]

you at the moment.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, Fern can't hear any of. Of this right now. So I'll explain that Ed is in America, Rhys James got sick and I'm calling up all my friends, but.

[Vin]

And Fern and Fearne rang back as the mics went live. So Matthew's holding his iPhone up to the microphone.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is not how you do a radio show. I tell you what, this is what the top brass at Global were worried about when they said don't do the show tomorrow. This is exactly what they're worried about. Listen, it's not good. Yeah, because it's not great radio. But listen, you are going to be running for an autism charity. Can people sponsor you? Where can people sponsor you?

[Fern Brady]

Yeah, go to my Just Giving page or just Instagram in the lab. I did the half marathon last Sunday.

[Matthew Crosby]

How did you do?

[Fern Brady]

It was going well. I thought it was going all right. My back was in agony and I was running as hard as I could. And then a man with one leg overtook me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Alex Brooker coming past you on the other side?

[Fern Brady]

No, it was this guy on. It wasn't like he had a bionic leg. He just had one. One leg.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then he.

[Fern Brady]

And then there was this other man doing just fast walking, this like weird jazzy walking. And I kept thinking, how am I running as hard as I can. And this man doing walking is overtaking me. I just saw him disappear in their eyes.

[Matthew Crosby]

What was. What was your plan as well? You said this to me yesterday. You said your plan was to beat. Beat someone's time, Wasn't it?

[Fern Brady]

Oh dear. Yeah, well, I wasn't going to make that P. I was. When at the start I was like, I just want to get a better time than Rash and that's going to be easy. Cuz he did it. Obviously I was delusional and if I could just finish the marathon without dying, that would be good.

[Matthew Crosby]

That would be great. That's exactly. I would beat you, well, listen, I, I, I hope you, I hope you finish the marathon without dying. Fingers crossed you beat Ramesh Ranganathan's time. I would love that for you. Fearne, thank you so much for being on the show. I literally can't believe we managed to get you on the air. This is unbelievable. Good luck with your run.

[Fern Brady]

Thanks.

[Alex Horne]

Bye.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. I brought some of my favorite people along to join me on the show. Joel Dommet. Hello.

[Joel Dommett]

I'm here. Oh my. You know what, Matthew? You're one of my favorite people.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's so sweet.

[Joel Dommett]

It's, I know you say that to everyone, but it's just an absolute pleasure.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a total pleasure. It's a total pleasure. Now you very rock and roll were out till four in the morning.

[Joel Dommett]

I know, four in the morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

At the Brit Awards last night, like

[Joel Dommett]

when you say I'm rock and roll, I, I would, I mean, I'm basically, if I was rock and roll. I am the alien ant farm of rock and roll.

[Harry Hill]

You know what I mean?

[Joel Dommett]

I'm very much the sort of person who would cover Michael Jackson and enjoy myself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Joel Dommett]

It was, Yeah, I was when I was when also again, you say I was out at the Brit. Was till 4 o' clock in the morning. I was only out because I decided to go to Manchester to the Brit Awards and then drive back from Manchester. So I got back in my own bed at 4 o' clock in the morning, not because I was out, but because I was commuting.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right, so you weren't parting with Robbie, you were just, you were traveling in a. Well, did you drive yourself? Were you driving home? Actually, to be fair, did you get an Uber? Expensive.

[Joel Dommett]

I got it. I got an Uber. I got an Uber X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Harry Hill]

Why not?

[Joel Dommett]

That guy, he couldn't believe his luck when he picked up that job. Unbelievable. And so me and my wife went. And so I just found myself in a car for four hours doing diversions, trying to sleep on a pregnancy pillow and a pregnant woman. So that was, it was the weirdest night ever. I went from watching Harry Styles to being in the back of a car for four hours. And I was like, this isn't what it's supposed to be like. I think it's supposed to go. Everyone was going, we go, which after party you go to? And I was like, uberx.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Uber pool if you want. You're welcome. Most of you are going back to London. Let's be honest. You're all welcome to come and join us.

[Joel Dommett]

That would have been great if I was in the.

[Harry Hill]

It.

[Joel Dommett]

Like, it had H in the middle seat.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you have any goss, though? Do you have any goss from the Brit Awards? Because we're looking for exclusives. We've already found out that Alex Horn either can or can't whistle. So that's our. That's our biggest showbiz exclusive so far. And that Josh Whitakem's been on a train. So if you've got anything that can beat. And of course, Fern Brady's running the marathon, but has forgotten to get up to do her training. So this is what we've got. This is what we've got going on at the moment. Have you got anything to beat that from, you know, any. Any exclusives about Olivia Dean? What. Have you. Have you got any information about Robbie's tribute to. To Aussie? Anything at all?

[Joel Dommett]

I absolutely love that. Like. Like how unprofessional comedians are when they go on your radio show. They're just like, oh, yeah, I'm running a marathon, I think, or something. I cannot whistle. Like, no one comes with, like, you know, when you see, like, proper, proper people on Graham Norton, like, you know, where they sell a movie, like Jason Momoa and they've got these amazing stories that are incredible. And then you've got me just coming on and going like, yeah, yeah, got

[Matthew Crosby]

in an Uber, talking about. Talking about your travel arrangements back from the Brits. That's not the bit that he wants to know about. Tell us about the Brits. Well, I tell you, traffic was a nightmare afterwards. If you tried to. You think it'd be easy to leave Manchester at midnight, but, oh, no, it's not.

[Joel Dommett]

This is the funny thing because, like, they have it in Manchester and it's like, all a vibe, you know, and you're like, oh, my God, it's. They don't think about the fact that you've got, like. Like, my wife is in a very glamorous dress and I'm in quite a tall heel and. And looking all posh and that you. You don't think about the fact you've got to stop at, you know, Tottington

[Matthew Crosby]

services on the way up to get against his pasty.

[Joel Dommett]

Exactly. You know, you've got to go through gr. Everyone's looking at you like.

[Ed Gamble]

Like,

[Joel Dommett]

you know. You know, the people that you're at. Service station. Everyone's looking at you like, what is that person wearing? Like, what is going on?

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, I like a Wild Bean Cafe, but there's no need to dress up that much? Yeah, it felt.

[Joel Dommett]

It felt very glamorous. I don't think I've got any. Any particularly showbiz stories. And this is. Again, I'm just such a boring person, Matthew, you know this. But I. So I tried to sort of go to these events to make me seem cool, but I'm really. I'm a very boring person. And then everyone else is having loads of fun and because. Because I'm a very, like, I would say, trustworthy ITV person. Right, we're on the ITV table. And so every year they sit me next to Carolyn, who is the CEO of itv and she is the loveliest human being. Obviously, I have to say that. Stay in work. She is. She is genuinely love is human being. And so. But I really. I'm so boring. I'm just so fascinated by what's happened in Q1.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know me,

[Joel Dommett]

I'm asking her about shareholders and stuff, and she's trying to watch Harry Styles and I'm just like, yeah, so what's your plan for.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, next time, sit me next to Mo Gilligan. Come on. So I need. I need someone I can talk to, someone I can sink my teeth into. Matthew Crosby. And Matthew Crosby, you did travel a long, long journey all the way back to London from Manchester with your. With your. With your very pregnant partner as well. You're very pregnant.

[Joel Dommett]

Very pregnant partner. Yes, it was. It was. I've realized that pregnancy pillow works very well in a car for a husband, actually, turns out.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you. Did you. Did you draw lots to decide who gets the pregnancy pillow? Is it going to be a pregnant person or is it going to be

[Joel Dommett]

the man this baby won? So it was fantastic.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got it. We've got to talk about that because you. You, you know, you're going to be a father for the second time very, very soon, but you're also going to be on stage around the time that's happening at the Palladium. Did you plan that to be.

[Harry Hill]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're on tour as your wife is about to give birth. You know, like a man from the 50s, really. I'll be at work. I'll show up when the kid's seven.

[Joel Dommett]

Yeah, that's. That's the vibe I'm going for. You know, imagine if. Imagine if famously nice Joel Dommet turned out to be a chauvinist pig.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, absolutely. We've got our exclusive. I think we've got our exclusive.

[Joel Dommett]

We've. Yeah, we're.

[Harry Hill]

We're very.

[Joel Dommett]

We're very excited about it. Obviously. We're talking about the Palladium and. No, it's very, it's very close to the due date. It's is, is the Palladium date but, but I don't want people to worry if they're thinking about buying tickets. I think you should still go for it and buy. Because I'm. I'll either like, because it's. That's, you know, there's hedgehog bets. It's not going to be in the day that are going to give birth. Like it's going to be fine. It's going to happen. It's going to happen, it's gonna happen. But probably what's going to happen is that I'm just going to be an absolute wreck of a human being and she would have given birth about a week beforehand and. And that'll be very funny, I think.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. If you know a sentence together. Yeah, yeah. Tired, covered in vomit. Yeah. Some of it your own, some of it other people's.

[Joel Dommett]

Like a lot of people at the Brit Awards last night.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. So the 24th of April is when you're going to be doing the Palladium. Very, very exciting. Have you done the Palladium before? Have you ever, ever, ever performed though? Is this your first time doing the. Doing a full show there?

[Joel Dommett]

My first time doing a full show, yeah. Yeah. I've done some little bits and bobs there but I've never done a full show so I'm actually really excited and. But it's, it's been a really fun tour and I've got a few dates in between. They've got like, have a look at my website but I've got like Aylesbury. I'm doing, I'm doing. This is again. Look, I hate to talk about travel again, Matthew Crosby, but I was at the Brit Awards last night in Manchester and I came back to London to my house last night at 4 o' clock and then tonight I'm in Leicester. Terrible planning.

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you doing? What are you doing?

[Joel Dommett]

Terrible planning.

[Matthew Crosby]

The length that you'll go to to avoid staying in a Premier Inn. Just the problem. Joel. Tommy, come on, you're on that ITV Cash. You can afford a couple of nights in a travel on. Surely, Surely you can.

[Joel Dommett]

What am I thinking? I don't even know. I don't know.

[Matthew Crosby]

You sort of put one foot in front of the other and then work out what's going to happen next, don't you?

[Joel Dommett]

It's fine.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what?

[Joel Dommett]

I don't think about the logistics, Matthew. All I think about is Entertaining the nation.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's the thing. Showbiz first. That's all you're about. And thank you very much for bringing a little bit of showbiz razzle dazzle to the show. Thank you so much. Tickets, I'm assuming from joeldomit.com is that right?

[Joel Dommett]

Absolutely. You know what? I bought the domain.co.uk as well. So go, go for it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Be patriotic. If you love our country, you'll go to.co.uk. joel Dommet, what a total pleasure. It's been so lovely having you on the show.

[Joel Dommett]

It's absolutely lovely. It's a pleasure to see you, man. And, and you know what, it's just always lovely to hear your voice and see your face.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you so much. Same to you, Joel. And by the way, good luck with two kids. Two is much more than one. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. With Matthew Crosby, our final guest, our final scoop for daddy of the show, it is, of course, the brilliant Harry Hill. Hello, Harry.

[Harry Hill]

Hello, Matt. Yes, this. That's what he says, but I just

[Matthew Crosby]

saw him in IKEA getting a Billy bookcase.

[Harry Hill]

Well, he had two beanbags.

[Matthew Crosby]

He loves a beanbag.

[Harry Hill]

Like a big bag of those little candles.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, he loves, he loves the little tea lights. He loves. You know what? He's, he's promised me he'd stopped buying tea lights. He'd said, he'd said, there's a couple of weeks as I've given him up. I'm not, not gonna see me with tea lights anymore. We had, we almost had to have an intervention for it. He loves a tea light.

[Harry Hill]

He'd read somewhere that, you know, if there's kind of. Because there's this sort of imminent threat of war that he read somewhere that two beanbags and, And a bag of tea lights is IKEA doing this package,

[Matthew Crosby]

this kind of the doomsday package.

[Harry Hill]

Doomsday package. And you put the one beam, one beanbag in the doorway and you sit in the other one.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right.

[Harry Hill]

And you watch Sky. And you watch Sky News.

[Matthew Crosby]

You watch Sky News by candlelight, which is. I've always thought that's the best way to watch Sky News. I want it to feel like it's. It's not just Sky News, but more like a shrine. It's more like a Shine to K Burley.

[Harry Hill]

You know, the story with beanbags were originally designed for invertebrates.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that true?

[Harry Hill]

Yeah, because it provides back support. You know, if you haven't got a. So, you know, it was shrimps, it was langoustine, help Me out?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Your prawns, your lobsters, that kind of stuff. A lot of your crustaceans. Yeah, yeah. Because, of course, anyway, they simply can't support the weight, can they? Can't support the weight, but there they are.

[Harry Hill]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

And they love Scott and they love Sky News. Of course they love Sky News, but.

[Harry Hill]

Okay, but they used a lot. They used to like it until they got rid of Kate Burley.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is it. It's gone down.

[Harry Hill]

The shrimps. It was the shrimps to leave first.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I. I remember because I. I was going in to read the papers on Sky News one morning and I couldn't get into the building because of all the shrimps outside protesting. They were all there with their tiny little signs. Yeah.

[Harry Hill]

Why don't you just buy a paper? Why'd you go and read it in the lobby at Sky News?

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm saving myself 45 pence here. If I go in and do. If they give you the papers for free and if you want, you can take them home. It's either that or. Cause if. You know, there's very hard to get a free newspaper these days, even the metro, you've got to buy a train ticket. So it's very, very hard to get a free newspaper. But sky invite you in, you read the papers, you have a lovely time, you save some money.

[Harry Hill]

You've got to look after.

[Matthew Crosby]

The pennies will take over themselves.

[Harry Hill]

Harry, if you get up early enough, you. If you get up early enough, you can steal milk from outside channel fours.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, I refused. I refused to kick them while they're down. It's not fair. I actually go outside. I actually leave extra milk outside Channel four.

[Harry Hill]

It's a dying chat.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, it's a wonderful channel. And please do watch the last leg every Friday at 10 o'. Clock. It's a good. It's a good channel. It's a good show. Watch Taskmaster as well, please.

[Harry Hill]

I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna watch. I am gonna watch. I made a promise to myself I would watch Last Leg this season once I've got through Dating Naked with Ryland. I'm just gonna work through that.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got a box set of that and you just. It's. It's quite. It's quite tricky. It's quite a tricky watch, isn't it? You can't watch a full episode at any one time. You've got to watch it like you're watching YouTube shorts, basically. 30 seconds at a time is about as much as I can stomach.

[Harry Hill]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So, Harry, we're talking today about whether or not the listeners can whistle really well. Are you a whistler? Are you able to whistle? Can you. Can you summon dogs? Are you that kind of guy?

[Harry Hill]

Well, I see myself as a whistler first and a comedian second. That was always my dream, you know, it was. I always saw. It was me, Brian Ferry, Sean Lennon in Jealous Guy. I am.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Harry Hill]

I mean, I have a. Because I'm getting old. A bit older. I have an aid to whistling now, which is. Which I put over my nose to help me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yes.

[Harry Hill]

Any tune you like.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, let's have a bit of. Let's have a little bit of Baker Street.

[Harry Hill]

That was Titanic.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was wonderful. Yeah. My heart really did go on after. After listening to that. It's a beautiful. That's really good. And what. What is that contraption? Is that one of your own inventions? You pop it over your nose and mouth and a beautiful sound comes out?

[Harry Hill]

Yeah, yeah. It's. You can fill them with mints as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

And if you want to scoop up your mints of a. Cook them in

[Harry Hill]

the oven, it's called a nose flute.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Harry Hill]

And I normally have an elastic band to attach it to my face, but I haven't got one handy. Here's an interesting thing.

[Vin]

Yes.

[Harry Hill]

Well, interesting to me is that the. There was actually a famous whistler called Ronnie Rinaldi.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry Hill]

See if you've got that on your xfm. And. And he was like a musical variety act and he had massive hits with these. You do like bird impressions and whistling.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wonderful.

[Harry Hill]

And he. His grandson plays the guitar in Yard Act.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that true? Really?

[Joel Dommett]

Yeah.

[Harry Hill]

They go in a miss, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Yeah. I love Yard. You've performed with Yard act as well, haven't you?

[Harry Hill]

You know the guy with him, he's

[Matthew Crosby]

brought props for radio and that's what you. That's what I like about a Harry Hill. You book a Harry Hill on the show. He comes prepared with stuff. He comes prepared with goods.

[Harry Hill]

I opened. I opened for them at Brudenelle. That social club thing. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

How did it go?

[Harry Hill]

Great, great fun. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's a rumor going around you a booed off stage.

[Harry Hill]

No, that was. That was for Rosalia.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. The old man and the big baby Radio X, the Smiths, this charming man. It's Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Ed's not here, he's in the States. But we do have the brilliant Harry Hill, one of, I would say the UK's foremost Morrissey impersonators. I saw you impersonate Morrissey at the Shepherd's Bush Empire not too long ago. One of the great Morrissey Joe Dolce collab impressions you did. Possibly the only one.

[Harry Hill]

Yeah, well, you know why?

[Matthew Crosby]

We just filmed that.

[Harry Hill]

We just filmed that, actually. And. But he wouldn't give us permission to use that. No, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you can't. It wouldn't give us permission.

[Harry Hill]

I mean, we're all a bit, you know, upset about Maurice Yami, because he has spoiled it slightly with his silly. Yeah. But my daughter works in an art shop and he went in there. She texted me, morris, did you come in?

[Joel Dommett]

Wow.

[Harry Hill]

And he's in the queues. It's true. Right. He's in the queue. And some. And the.

[Alex Horne]

The.

[Harry Hill]

The lady on the till says, is anyone waiting? And no word of a line. Morrissey goes, we're all waiting for death.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have a day off, Morrissey.

[Harry Hill]

Have a day off, Morrissey in the art shop.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know, I know. It's serious. Oh, but, yes, you've got a new podcast. We should talk about that as well. Cause you've got a visualized podcast. You're screeching a vodscarf. Of course, you're screeching into the world of Vodscarfing. And you've actually had my dear friend Ed Gamble on the Vodscarf. How was he? What's he like to work with?

[Harry Hill]

With?

[Matthew Crosby]

He seems fun.

[Harry Hill]

You know, you have. It warms up eventually.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's taken us seven years. Yeah. Until he warmed up and left.

[Harry Hill]

No, he's great. He's great fun. He's great fun. And, you know. Yeah. I sort of took him to task rather over him. Over his. Trying to make a cuckold of me. You know, he sort of. He mentioned wanting to go out for dinner with my wife.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Harry Hill]

In one of those Q and A's. You know, he's a handsome lad and I'm, you know, fiercely jealous. I did take him to task about that. Yeah, it was great fun. It's great fun. I mean, it's a great way of working these vod scarfs. I think everyone. All the comedians like doing them because you can pretty much do what you like.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Yeah. There's no commissioner telling you what to do. There's no. I mean. I mean, you really do. You just do. Exactly. It looks like a television show. I mean, the set's amazing. It looks fantastic.

[Harry Hill]

You know, you cost me a fortune, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, this is the thing. Exactly. How do you make any money from it? Dude, you need to borrow some cash.

[Harry Hill]

I'll let you know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It was.

[Harry Hill]

No, it's been great. It's been a lot of, you know. So I've got like Licky, the Harry Hill show mascot, basically just comes on and licks people. And then we got Sarah, the AI bot. We've got. Yeah, I mean, I've just done a whole load more. Funnily enough, I was. I did them in batches. It's batch cooking.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Harry Hill]

I did batch cooking like Joe Swash

[Matthew Crosby]

does, and that's what he's famous for.

[Harry Hill]

Scratch the batch and then what I. And so, yeah, it's got a bit more complicated noticeably. It's got a bit more complicated now. This sort of go out of the studio and do so filming sketches. I mean, I think if you listen to it, you don't know what the hell's going on, but. So watch it on YouTube. I would.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, absolutely. It's on your YouTube channel. It's brilliant. And it really. It really is brilliant. The Harry Hill Show. Is that what you're calling it?

[Harry Hill]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why? Overcomplication.

[Harry Hill]

Straight on the nose. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, Harry, it's been an absolute pleasure having you on the show. When's the. When's the special out you've for you, maybe. Well, I know you don't enjoy it, but listen, you're doing me a favor here, mate.

[Harry Hill]

Well, next time it goes away, I'll come and we'll do it together.

[Matthew Crosby]

That would be. Oh, what a joy. I would love that. I would absolutely love it. When is this. When is the special out that you filmed? When is the.

[Harry Hill]

I don't know. They keep saying I've got to look at the edit today, actually, I keep saying, have a look at it, but I'm a bit sick of watching myself, you know, Worm. You know, it's like it goes through various revisions, doesn't it? It's a rather tedious process, but I think perhaps my. When it is March, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, let's say April. Let's say April. Maybe April. Yeah. Okay, listen, keep stalling them.

[Harry Hill]

I'll just keep.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what? It's better to never put it out. That's what I say. That's what Morrissey says. Ed Gamble and mother Matthew. Radio X. Ed Gamble has got his excuses right here. His final voice note. Let's hear it. Let's hear it.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Matthew, Ed Gamble here, Normal co host of the show. I do it about eight times a year. Hope you haven't ruined it yet because I'd quite like to come back and do it again. Great show. For me, sold out in Brooklyn. The Brooklyn Bell House went out after to hang out with some American celebs. We're talking Barack Obama, we're talking Joan Rivers, we're talking Top Cat. Really, really hope it's going well for you. Obviously you've played some great tunes. You've probably done a sort of competition where people can win an unfeasible amount of money, but you've not explained it properly. So everyone's texted into the wrong number. I think you've probably smashed it and I hope you've not smashed it to the extent that my role is reduced by the time I get back. And I hope Vin has not derailed the show too much. I'm sure we're all looking forward to the biggest feature of our show, Danny Wallace's two hour show. Anyway, see you soon.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, thank you so much, Ed. That was absolutely perfect. That's all we needed, really. Get the podcast, guys. We'll ask, is this the hungriest that daddy has ever been yet? So many scoops for Daddy. And don't forget, Eddie's back in a couple of weeks time when our guests will be Barack Obama, of course, Joan Rivers and Topcap. But for me, Matthew Crosby, this has been an absolute joy. And Vin, thank you so much. We've done it. We've absolutely done it. All right, see you soon.

[Alex Horne]

Bye bye.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. So, guys, there it is.

[Vin]

You did it, man.

[Matthew Crosby]

There it was. Hey, we did it. And by we, I mean you and me and the listener dears. You know, we had a great, A really great time doing that. That was great. And wonderful guests.

[Vin]

Great guests.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what, if you want to get top flight guests, just need panic. Last minute. Yeah, last minute. And a little bit of like, oh, it's away and Reese is ill and I'm going to show you. I like the fact that it was very good for Josh to immediately go, you're making a big deal out of the fact you have to host a show on your own. It's been seven years. You should be able to do it on your own by now.

[Vin]

Well, you did, you know, I sort

[Matthew Crosby]

of did it on my own. Yeah. Don't want to do it again, though.

[Vin]

Okay, That's.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's it. I don't think, you know, ever. Yeah, that was my last ever show. I forgot to mention that.

[Alex Horne]

Should have.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. I should have retired like, like Bowie at the Hammersmithodian. Yeah, we didn't touch the Steely Dan magazine once. I didn't get.

[Vin]

Well, that's not true. You were fingering it throughout.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I was reading it during the show. Yeah. But I wasn't reading it on air.

[Vin]

Crucially, as soon as the show finished, you were telling me how good it is.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's so good.

[Vin]

What a good magazine. It is.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's such a good magazine.

[Vin]

Have I got a magazine like that?

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you got a magazine like this? No, that's our text next week, if you got a magazine like this. 83936 on the text. Or of course you can WhatsApp us through global Player. We didn't met. I brought along the Top of the Pops game. Yes, that was in the bag as well. We didn't, you know, when Ivo brought

[Vin]

loads of props, we were sort of making fun of him. Yeah, now, now you've done exactly the same thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. But you know what? It's quite, it's. It's important to be prepared. Right. It's bored to have everything there. Just in case. Right, Have a little look. We didn't need to go into the old grab bag, but it was there in case we did.

[Vin]

Break glass in case of radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Break glass in case of radio. And tell us, tell us exactly what Lloyd Cole thinks about the Katie Lydd album. Amy Mann makes a very interesting point about the fact that he's Donald Fagan as a vocalist. Very, sort of very fragile, very imperfect. We won't do that. We won't do that.

[Vin]

We've got another guest.

[Matthew Crosby]

We do before we finish. Yes.

[Vin]

This is. Did we promise this last week?

[Matthew Crosby]

We did, actually, yeah. Just as a bit of a. Bit of a reset for folks who don't remember Rhys James, who would have been hosting this week had he not got the lurgy. His dad is away for work, as he often is. He was away for work in Dublin, you know, causing all kinds of mischief before. And now he's away for work in Washington dc. Ed Gamble was doing a show in Washington dc and Rhys James dad went along to see that show and he's left us this.

[Joel Dommett]

Hi, Rhys, it's Dad. Reporting back on Ed's first show in Washington D.C. i was sat with three wonderful locals, Joel, Pat and Allison last night. We all had a fantastic time, curated brilliantly by Ed's high energy full power performance. The DC Improv Club, I tell you, can be a challenging venue with food and drinks being served throughout the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

But Ed conquered the room with both his charm and his wit. A great night had by all.

[Joel Dommett]

Great to see the British comedians doing so well over here in the us.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, you know what that was. I really enjoyed that because it's very rare for the sort of. For the dads to feel like they're doing a school report for the Sun.

[Vin]

That was incredibly professional and slick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Incredibly professional. Five stars on TripAdvisor, I'd say. It's a tricky venue. He's been there before, he knows it's hard. I guess every time he goes over to dc, he sees some comedy.

[Vin]

Nice and patriotic as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Nice and patriotic, exactly. But amazingly, Joel, one of the people mentioned in there, has got in touch with us because Joel was sat next to. Was sat next to Rhys dad. And he's written a comprehensive review of ed Gamble's Washington D.C. improv show, night one. Good morning, Reese, Matthew Rees and Vindivisible. How are you? Well, in Reece's case, not that well, but I'm pretty good. How are you? Quite well, thanks. I thought you might be interested in a report from how our friend Ed Gamble. How our friend Ed Gamble's getting on on his five week slog across America. Living in Baltimore, I found I decided I might as well jump on a train and see him in our nation's capital. On Tuesday night, buzzing with anticipation, I took my seat next to a lovely British gentleman who immediately proved to be incredibly warm, witty and charming. I soon found this man to be none other than Rhys James, father, visiting D.C. for work. I was shocked. The warmth, wittiness and charisma of this man really did highlight just how far an apple can fall from the tree. Ah, seems mean. When he's not here, he's in his sick bed. But still, soon enough, Ed took to the stage. Doing his best impression of a hardened American road comic, Ed battled and bedazzled a usually tough American crowd. It does sound like he's playing a rough gig here, doesn't it? Everyone's mentioned how tough the venue normally is and how well he's done. Like any good American road comedian, leaning heavily on fecal material and blisteringly current references, such as the 2003 film Spy Kids 3D, Ed acquitted himself well and everyone went home happy in the end. I'm only writing in hopes that the wonderful woman. Oh, dear. That the wonderful woman sitting at our table, whose number I failed to get before running off to catch the last train to Baltimore, is listening and finds a way to get in contact. She has, but it's Reece's mum, so back off. Cheers, guys. Love the show. And Rhys, it was really quite lovely to chat with your father about UK comedy and US listeners. Really do love having a capable backup for Ed when he's off on his little escapades. I'm so sorry, Joel. You must have had a shocker this week. You must have absolutely hated every bit of it. Have you got any backrecs?

[Vin]

Oh, good question. Just started watching How To Get To Heaven from Belfast.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's good, isn't it?

[Vin]

It's very good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's really good. How many have you watched? Two.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I've only watched two. Really, really good. Really, really good. I'm really enjoying it. Good.

[Vin]

Mad cast. Like everyone's in it. Absolutely everyone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. When Arden shows up. Yeah. In both eps.

[Vin]

Well, that makes total sense.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course. Yeah. But it's great that he's there. And Emmett Scanlon, who I love. I love Emmett Scanlon. Someone that I really. I interviewed him for the Smart TV podcast and really bonded with him. He's such a lovely bloke. And then he showed up on Blankety Blank a couple of weeks later and I never assume anyone's gonna remember me. And he did, and he was great. So it's. And he's. What a creepy man.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Isn't he creepy in it?

[Harry Hill]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's so creepy in it. It's great. He's got a very scary face.

[Vin]

But it's good because it's. I think. I didn't know anything about it other than it's not a comedy. I say, I think, like, as in, you think, oh, Derry Girls, it'll be like another.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not an out and out comedy. It's still funny. It's very funny.

[Vin]

It's funny. But it's, It's. It's a. What, a comedy drama?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, it's a mystery. Yeah, it's a mystery. But it's. It's. Crucially, it is still a laugh, you know, that it doesn't take itself too seriously. It's. I think it's really, really.

[Vin]

And they're doing the same thing with the. The music that Derry Girls was good at, really putting you in that. That time and using the music as well as part of the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. So if you like a bit of Bewitched, if you like a bit of Girls Allowed. And who doesn't? You've got two ears and a heart, haven't you, then? Yeah, you'll love this. It's really good. It's really, really funny and it's genuinely thrilling. So that's good. So I'm still watching that and I'm still, you know, it takes me ages to watch a TV show. So I'm still watching that. I've watched one episode this week. I watched one episode of can youn Keep a Secret?

[Vin]

Well, Gogglebox is back, so it's gonna slow down watching anything for me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep, fair enough. Goggles. But also speed up watching all the other shows.

[Vin]

Yeah, in a way.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're gonna watch Gogglefoot.

[Joel Dommett]

Cause that was.

[Matthew Crosby]

That used to be your thing was. You say, I've not seen it, but I saw it on Gogglefoot.

[Vin]

Yeah. There's no point watching any other thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Kind of got the measure of it now, haven't I? The other thing. A van went past the other day and my daughter said, what's that song that was playing out of the window? And now she's obsessed with Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics. So the last car journey, that was. You just want songs on repeat. And so we listened to Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics.

[Vin]

It's quite a creepy song.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a creepy song, but it's a good song. Yeah.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

The more I listen to it, the more I think. I think. Because I was.

[Vin]

I actually heard it the other day for the first time in ages.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And when you re. Listen to a song that you sort of know, you know it really well.

[Vin]

But it's got a weird sort of mid late bit, isn't it? The breakdown is quite odd.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, the whole song is quite odd, isn't it? Like if you. What's the.

[Vin]

Hold your head up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hold your head up. Moving on. Yeah, it's got like a kind of. Yeah, like a kind of gospel y souly type bit in the middle. Yeah, it does. It's really good. It's like. And also that it's played. It's like not played that well in a really kind of disoriented. It's like not quite on the beat.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, in a really kind of slightly off way. It's great.

[Vin]

Exactly. It's not quantized, I imagine it's. It's a person playing it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's absolutely a person playing it.

[Vin]

That's the point.

[Matthew Crosby]

And that's what I like about it. So it is. Obviously it was, you know, they were one of those sort of forerunners of like that kind of electropop movement. But they. It doesn't feel like they've kind of. It's not. It's gonna. It's gonna fool the algorithm anyway. Spotify won't be able to recognize it as a song. Yeah, really, really, really fun. Oh, also, I don't know when it's coming out. But I did my. I did my podcast with William Hamm. The this album podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did that.

[Vin]

Talking heads.

[Matthew Crosby]

I did my talking. And I will say one thing. It's been a week of people dropping out because Jacob Hawley was supposed to do it. He was supposed to do Appetite for Destruction, and he didn't show up. His. His kid was sick. So I ended up doing the whole show, which I love. I mean, I loved it. I think that's part of the reason why I was so emboldened, because when they said, oh, Jacob Hawley can't make it, I was like, well, I'll show up. I'll talk about destruction. So we did it. We did a nice. A nice long chat. It was really, really good fun. There was a lovely audience who came out for that, including some Radio X listeners. So it was nice to meet the. Amelia and her partner. Yeah, it was great. It was really, really fun. So that'll be out very soon. It's a very good podcast, this album. Anyway, you can hear sort of lots of comedians and a lot of people who actually know what they're talking about.

[Vin]

They must do Radio XE albums on that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Well, they. Jake was going to do Appetite for Destruction, which I assume he will do at some point. I've just found out how much of yes. I've been getting paid for it. The reason I mentioned it is because William's just texting me. I'm actually going to get paid. Look at this. Oh, my God. I'm in the money now. Hawley's not even gonna get a sniff of it. Sorry, mate. Anyway, yeah, it was. Yeah, it's. It's well worth having a listen to. And. Oh, you can hear me talking on the previous episode. About 100 GEX.

[Vin]

Oh, cool.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's great. I love doing it, but. Yes. Have a wonderful week, everybody. We don't know what we're doing.

[Vin]

Oh, Ray and Ahmed. I'd like to back Wreck Ray and Ahmed as well. I think he should have been playing from the start. I think he can play anywhere in that order. I think you could even move Joss down.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Vin]

And he could open as a pinch hitter.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Or you move Will Jacks up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

But you've got to move. Obviously, I'm supporting India anyway. But you've got to see Rein Ahmed in that team.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

And he's really. He's the future man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And it's wonderful to see how far he's come. That's. That's what I think he's brilliant. He's absolutely brilliant. So, yeah, big, big bet rep for that lad. And. And, of course, a huge bet wreck for Donald Fagan as well.

[Vin]

And Brummera looks fantastic in that new kit.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, he looks. I mean, you know, I've spoken about

[Vin]

his shoulders in the past, but, my God.

[Matthew Crosby]

My God, what a wingspan he has. What a wingspan. Anyway, this has been a real treat. Thank you so much. Finn, you made that. You really did. You literally did. You're the producer, but you did. You made that show. And I had a great time doing it. And thanks to all of our guests. Thank you so much. And thanks to you, the listener. See you very soon. Bye. Bye. Gray D O X.