Episode 351 – Spurs Stadium

Summary

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Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 351 – Spurs Stadium

Date: March 22, 2026
Hosts: Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby (Crunch & Crumble)
Producer: Vin
Regular Contributor: Ben

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Episode Overview

This episode encapsulates the show's signature style: chaotic, affectionate banter between comedians with the thinnest veneer of radio professionalism. The show delivers its usual blend of offbeat listener interactions, comedy routines, sports nonsense, absurd anecdotes, and music nerdery. Key threads include nostalgic and anarchic discussions about things they've “accidentally” stolen, comedic debates about musicians at the Spurs Stadium, listener stories of sitting on celebrities' laps, and a first-hand review of a Wu-Tang Clan gig.

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Key Segments & Discussion Highlights

1. Podcast vs. Radio: Kicking Off the Chaos

• [00:10–02:57] The episode begins meta, riffing on whether this is a podcast or radio show, and the joys of editing out innocuous words.
• Matthew Crosby’s Abandonment Issues:

  “If you’re the only person in the studio, I’m chatting to you...for you to wander off out of my eyeline. That was a panicking moment.” (01:52)

• Internal confusion about whose messages they’re reading sets the tone for recurring behind-the-curtain chaos.

2. Listener Stories: “Sat on Celeb Laps”

• [04:02–07:46] Listeners describe childhood run-ins with celebrities, like sitting on darts legend Eric Bristow’s knee (no memory, no evidence), or the wildest:

  “I was picked up and sat on the lap of none other than Robert De Niro. He said 'cute kid' and returned me to my family.” (06:04)

• This leads to a running gag about “Robert De Niro’s lap” being a secret New York café.

3. Music & Tech Blunders: Ozzy Impressions/Joke on Mics

• [08:15–11:20] Matthew opens with an Ozzy Osbourne rock opera intro, literal microphone destruction, and faux-heavy metal showmanship.
• Banter on their “drugs of choice”:

  “I’ll be taking drugs. We’re waiting for Boots to open though...I’m gonna do a run. I’m gonna go off my tees on Piriton.” (11:28) “One thing I do like to do is before I have a Lem sip...I do a big puff of it up into...hits the back of your pipes and that makes you feel alive.” (11:58)

4. Spurs Stadium Confusion & The Radio X Debate

• [15:19–17:09] The team attempts (badly) to discuss who’s played at Spurs Stadium—cue Radio X’s most on-brand debate:

  “Arctic Monkeys did play at Spurs Stadium.”
  “I was thinking of Beyoncé.”
  “She was there...I went for a win...Stall this...”

• Football, UFC, Gladiators, and... Kissing?
  • Random sports “news”:

    “The big football happened. Well, of course, we all know the big football was Andy Carroll wins on managerial debut at Dagenham..." (18:02)
    “I like to see those fights where it’s like a YouTuber versus a pensioner.” (19:04)

5. Best Free Stuff: Listener Texts Spiral Out of Control

• [19:36–24:21] Sparks from Matthew’s daughter picking up David Baddiel’s memoir (at age 6!) lead to a fast-expanding listener phone-in:

  “I found a dead mole when I was six. I put it in a big jar so I could bring it into the school.” (24:02)

• Discussion expands from found objects, to competition wins (e.g., Sting album via Tampax contest), and ultimately into stories of items people have won, found, or just outright nicked.

6. Accidental Kleptomania & Drunken Antics

• [29:32–34:04] Extended reminiscence about drunken teenage “borrowing”—road signs, cue balls, and the infamous “70 limes” incident:

  “How many limes? Probably 70 limes. I nicked 70.” (49:09)

7. Wu-Tang Clan Live Review

• [36:16–41:16] Vin delivers a fantastic review of the Wu-Tang Clan’s farewell O2 show, discussing who made the lineup, live skits, and the perils of “getting in” to see hip hop legends:

  “YDB [ODB's son] was there – still a DB!” (37:22)
  “I would go and see Method Man again...he teased in solo stuff...” (38:07)

• Quirky details:

  “There was a lot of QR codes. Much more than a normal gig…[for] merch...and voting for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.” (38:45)

8. Floor T-Shirts and Merch Crimes

• [43:16–45:26] The realities of floor T-shirt economics outside gigs:

  “...the tiny man selling them was suddenly the undertaker. He took them to the ground without hesitation.” (43:35)

• Listener stories about “accidentally stolen” items pile in: bowling shoes, pub pool tables, even a life-size Steve Redgrave cut-out (meant for charity auction).

9. Listener Correspondence & Cat Chat

• [52:35–54:50] Closing correspondence, especially from “Mick Chen” (an alleged listener legendary in their inbox), segues into a lengthy bit about cats:

  “A cat on you is very, very relaxing. It’s good for the sympathetic nervous system, isn’t it, having a cat on you?” (54:27)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Studio Panic:

  “I've got very strong abandonment issues...that was a panicking moment.” – Matthew (01:52)

• On De Niro’s Lap:

  “We've all been in cafes with a cute kid. You don't pop him on your lap. But you're De Niro. Come on.” – Ben (06:35)

• On Lem Sip Abuse:

  “Before I have a Lem sip...I do a big puff of it up...hits the back of your pipes and that makes you feel alive.” – Matthew (11:58)

• Best Free/Won Thing:

  “I won a Sting album in a Tampax competition when I was seventeen.” – Listener (24:35)

• On Wu-Tang’s Live Lineup:

  "YDB was there. Still a DB." – Vin (37:22)
  "There was a lot of QR codes. Much more than a normal gig.” – Vin (38:45)

• On Unofficial Gig Merch:

  “Fiver for a floor shirt. It was a better time." – Matthew (43:03)

• On Accidental Larceny:

  “How many limes? Probably 70 limes. I nicked 70.” – Matthew (49:09)

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Detailed Timeline / Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic / Segment | |--------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:10–02:57 | Podcast meta-discussion, chaos around show edit and “abandonment” | | 04:02–07:46 | Listener lap stories – Robert De Niro, Eric Bristow | | 08:15–11:20 | Heavy metal intro, mic destruction, Lem sip jokes | | 15:19–17:09 | Spurs Stadium “fact-check” confusion, music at sports events | | 18:01–19:14 | Satirical sports news (Football, UFC, YouTuber vs Pensioner) | | 19:36–24:21 | “What’s the best free thing?”: Books, dead moles, Sting via Tampax | | 29:32–34:04 | Teenage drunken kleptomania: road signs, limes | | 36:16–41:16 | Wu-Tang Clan O2 gig review (YDB, QR codes, Method Man) | | 43:16–45:26 | Floor T-shirts, Italian restaurant scuffles, listener theft stories | | 52:35–54:50 | Listener emails, “Mick Chen”, long segment focused on cats |

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Self-deprecating, anarchic, affectionate: The hosts revel in not-quite-holding-it-together, and the comedy is rooted in mutual ribbing and collaborative absurdity.
• Listener engagement: Genuinely interactive—with listener stories becoming the backbone of the show.
• Relatable nostalgia: Whether recounting “accidentally” stealing as teens, or recognizing their own domestic chaos, the show weaves listeners and hosts together as slightly shambolic but well-meaning adults.

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For Next Week

• Texter for next week: Times you (accidentally or otherwise) stole something.
• Contact: [e-mail] to share your stories.

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Further Listening

• Full Wu-Tang gig review promised for future episodes.
• More stories on “the best (or most questionable) things you've ever got for free...or just taken.”

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Ed & Matthew say:
“Keep those coming in. We want a hard copy you can’t be fiddling around with. See you Sunday at 8am, or get the podcast. Have a wonderful week, everybody.” (52:11/62:09)

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Transcript

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Ben]

Hello and welcome to the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio Show. But this is not the radio show. You don't have the radio on. You're listening to the podcast of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

We'll be playing the potted highlights of the radio show, of course. Most of it. We play most of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Most of it, yeah. It's such a good show. Why not play all of it, really?

[Ben]

We are trying to work out if we can include the word yes. Because I said yes.

[Vin]

I think I'm gonna take it out.

[Ben]

You're gonna.

[Vin]

I reckon.

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you gonna do instead? You're gonna bleep it?

[Vin]

Well, there's a neat. I've looked, I've done the edit already and it's. If it's a comfortable edit.

[Ben]

Right.

[Vin]

It's not lacking.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a comfortable.

[Ben]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

A nice comfortable. No, I'm talking about. I'm talking about the carpet that.

[Ben]

By the way, it's the funniest thing I said this show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it was. It was absolutely. It was the high watermark. Yeah, it was the funniest thing he said. Not just in this show ever, but in seven years of doing the show and your entire comedy career. It was the absolute best thing. You' vin is trampling all over.

[Ben]

Well, it's on the moderate list because of the man. He's the man now, by the way,

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't believe you actually showed us what was the acceptable.

[Vin]

Well, I was careful not to read any of them out.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, but then I came around and read it off your screen, didn't I? There's some funny words in there.

[Ben]

Yeah, there are.

[Matthew Crosby]

We could get a few links out of them. Out of the mild imoderate.

[Ben]

We could do a George Carlin routine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, we could do it. Yeah, we should do the. The seven moderate words. You can. You can just about say on the radio.

[Ben]

We get a great link out of that then.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come on.

[Vin]

It's not true.

[Ben]

Surely your job is to make sure we make good radio.

[Vin]

Yeah, which is why I'm breaking stuff in the studio all the time.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Messing up.

[Ben]

Enjoy that at the beginning, you know, mid link.

[Vin]

Yeah. Wandering off to let Ed into the studio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Vin]

But it was very panicking.

[Matthew Crosby]

I did panic. I did panic because you said, okay,

[Vin]

he loses sight of me for one second. What are we doing now?

[Ben]

Where are you going?

[Matthew Crosby]

I did panic because you said, oh, you do. You do this bit and then I start talking and you literally get. I like. Because, you know What? In many ways, you're sort of a bit of an audience for me. If you're the only person in the studio, I'm chatting to you, for you to wander off out of my eyeline. That was a panicking moment.

[Ben]

And you're like a baby, aren't you, if you can't see him.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think he's gone.

[Ben]

Where's he gone?

[Vin]

You can still carry on.

[Ben]

Don't. Don't shave your beard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew will really panic or just even cover your beard over your hand. It's still. Still confusing to me. I've got very strong abandonment issues. Right. And I cannot handle it. And the fact that you've only just learned this now, whether you pretty didn't know. Anyway, let's talk about. So we were talking about. Have you ever sat in a celebrity's lap? Oh, yeah, of course we were. Yeah, of course we were. We've got this message here. Oh, is this. Is this all from Brian Shelf? Is this all from Brian Shelf?

[Vin]

What do you mean?

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean this. This bit here. Is that.

[Vin]

No, no, the bit that says Brian Shelf is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, well, who's this bit from then?

[Vin]

Well, I don't know. Put the name on it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Here we go.

[Vin]

In response, obviously, the bit that says it's from Brian Shelf is the bit that's from Brian.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, but look here, right, this bit's all from Carl.

[Ben]

Right, Okay, I need to listen back to the show you did by yourself. Is this what it was like?

[Matthew Crosby]

It was like this, actually. No. Right, this bit's all from Carl. It's divided into paragraphs. This is two paragraphs and it ends with Brian Shelf. Are these bits connected? No, they're not. They're not connected. That's the question I was asking. Very simple question. A very simple question.

[Vin]

Right, Matthew, I'm just going to go off mike for a second because I'm just. I'm downloading some of the audio to get the podcast. It doesn't mean that I'm leaving the show. Okay?

[Matthew Crosby]

It does.

[Vin]

It does mean that I will be in the room. I'm still listening, and if you turn your head, you'll be able to see me. Okay?

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't make it seem like this is my problem. Right, here we go. Anyway, this is not from Brian Shelf. In response to your texter, have you ever.

[Ben]

You're not even reading the bit from Brian Shelf.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I wanted to read the. I wanted to read both bits, but I didn't know if it was all from Brian's shelf.

[Vin]

I'm still here, Matthew. I'M just over here.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know you're still here.

[Vin]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

More of them running. In response to your text, have you ever sat on a celebrity's lap as a child? Apparently. Come back on Mike right now. He's doing it deliberately.

[Ben]

We'll have to go back and do the show again.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I'll do my intro again. I'd love to do that. Okay. In response to your texter, have you ever sat on a celebrity's lap as a child? Apparently, I did sit on the knee of darts player Eric Bristow, but I have no memory or evidence.

[Ben]

I see what you mean.

[Matthew Crosby]

You see what I mean, don't you?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ben]

It does look like it's the same email because.

[Vin]

But I'm trying to fit it all on one page. I'm trying to save paper.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I'm just saying it's a.

[Ben]

It's not that it's not signed off, and Brian Shelf's email is very short, so it does seem like it's a new paragraph.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a perfectly legitimate question.

[Vin]

That's how the emails are always formatted.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. That's why I asked you, are these two connected? That's still. You could still ask.

[Vin]

If they were connected, there wouldn't be a gap in between the two of them.

[Ben]

Okay, well, no, because I'm looking at Carl's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Carl's message.

[Ben]

So Carl's email is good. Like all the chance is definitely.

[Vin]

Carl's sent a list of stuff, hasn't he? So there's a reason for that to be separate. But that's. That's not the normal way that we form ourselves.

[Ben]

Ben, I've never said this before, but I'm on Matthew's side.

[Vin]

Well, you've got to look at yourself, Ed, come on.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, and while you're looking at yourself, let me still look at you, otherwise I panic. Thank you. Okay, so if you look at yourself, and that involves you turning your back on me in some way I'm not gonna be able to handle.

[Ben]

How do I look?

[Matthew Crosby]

You look. You look. You look fine.

[Vin]

You look great.

[Ben]

I'm on Vin.

[Matthew Crosby]

All right, forget it.

[Ben]

Listen, anyway, I never know what's gonna genuinely get on Matthew's nerves.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's.

[Ben]

But this one has.

[Matthew Crosby]

This one has annoyed me.

[Ben]

So exciting.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I'm not annoyed with you. I'm annoyed with me.

[Ben]

Now you're annoyed with you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Have a look at yourself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Here we go. Anyway, someone sat on Dave Eric Bristow's lap and Then Dave from the. Dave McKay from the Zootons. Pushed right up against them in a long time. So there we go. Anyway, that was the message. Thank you very much, whoever sent that, next time put your name on it, otherwise it'll tear us apart. Anyway, Joy Division. Joy Division. Right. This is from Lola.

[Ben]

Lola Bunny.

[Matthew Crosby]

It could be from Lola Bunny.

[Ben]

Oh, tell me more.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I'll tell you. I'll tell you the entire message. Happy radio, lads.

[Ben]

Don't mind if I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Re Matthew. Solo show texter. Sat on a celebrity's lap. I have one.

[Ben]

A lap?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Yep. During a visit to Manhattan, New York, when I was four, I was playing with a ball in a cafe while my mum and auntie chatted. It rolled away under someone's chair. I chased it and was picked up and sat on the lap of none other than Robert De Niro.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Matthew Crosby]

He said cute kid, and returned me to my family. I think that's bold on De Niro's part.

[Ben]

It's bold on De Niro's part.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've all been in cafes where there's been a cute kid.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't pop him on your lap.

[Ben]

Don't pop him on your lap. But you're De Niro. Come on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Ben]

Whatever's good.

[Matthew Crosby]

He. Yeah. Anyway, well, that's. That's it. But that's that. We're closing.

[Vin]

I don't know what he was having in that cafe.

[Ben]

Well, he wouldn't remember.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, he'd refuse to talk about it. Even if he remembered. He'd refused to be. I refused to be drawn on the topic. That's a good New York spot as well, isn't it? That's one of the.

[Ben]

Robert De Niro's lap.

[Matthew Crosby]

Robert De Niro's lap. Absolutely.

[Ben]

If you're going to New York. Great.

[Matthew Crosby]

One of the great places to eat.

[Ben]

Yeah. You've got to check out Robert De Niro's lap.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, is that his breakfast, lunch and

[Ben]

dinner on the right side. Looks a bit grotty, but it's cool.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Yeah. There's no name on it either as well. You've just got to know where you're going.

[Ben]

Well, it's like a speed sort of speaker.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's like a speakeasy.

[Ben]

Yeah. You whisper the password and the flies come up.

[Matthew Crosby]

It initially looks like an old man's trousers, but, you know, you've got to push through that bit to get to the. To get to the good stuff. Speaking of trousers, Brian Shelf says. This is all from Brian Shelf, by the way, thanks to a Conversation you had about Don to wears your trousers. I've had a sudden awakening and realized it's not a song about a man who wears other people's trousers.

[Ben]

Yes, thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you, Brian Shelf. Good to hear from you. And we did talk about that, I believe, six months ago. But it's always good. Right, should we hear the show? Yes, let's hear it.

[Ben]

Woo.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Brady O X.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's 8am on Sunday morning. You look like hell, you smell a pollen so scrub your face and genitalia Then brush your teeth with sync Descaler you need a cure to break this hex Smart speaker, please play Radio X Gamble and Crosby set me right Help me forget about last night Whoa, Lord, yeah. Radio X

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ben]

Before we get on with the meat of the show, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Let's briefly talk about that top slice of bread. A wonderful intro from you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thanks, man. I loved it.

[Ben]

Embodying the spirit. I really enjoyed it. Embodying the spirit of Ozzy Osbourne to introduce the show War Pigs, which should be available as a vote for Best of British. But it's not so bad.

[Matthew Crosby]

Crucially not available. We had to. What's going on here? I can hear loads of. In my headphones.

[Ben]

Matthew.

[Vin]

Mike, what's going on there?

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know, you tell me. Have I out rocked?

[Vin]

I think it's Matthew's microphone.

[Ben]

It's Matthew's microphone. So this is.

[Matthew Crosby]

I blew out the microphone.

[Ben]

It's a wonderful start to this week's show. Luckily there were no technical issues on last week's show, so we are back on. Matthew is now sorting himself a new microphone. Very rock and roll.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm switching mics.

[Ben]

Very Ozzy Osbourne. He blew out the mic with his vocal.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can you believe it?

[Ben]

I can believe that. It was very loud.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was a big vocal.

[Ben]

Yeah, but you gotta go, it's Aussie, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

What else are you supposed to do if you're gonna. If you're gonna channel Aussie and I believe it was a seance.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you're gonna channel Aussie, you gotta go full throttle.

[Ben]

Well, when we went off Mike, you snorted a line of ants, didn't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

I did, I did. And then I weed on the floor and tried to get you to snort it and you refused.

[Ben]

Yes, I refused. Yeah, I do. Well, you do that every week now, obviously, because you've now moved, Mike, so you're stood up.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm now stood up. Very close to you as well.

[Ben]

I don't like it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you not like it?

[Ben]

It's putting me really on edge that you're stood up.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'll put the. I'll pull a chair over as well.

[Ben]

Okay, than.

[Matthew Crosby]

All right. Do you like that you sat down now, are you? Yes. This is the thing, genuinely. I'm the same. I'm the same height on certain. Still.

[Vin]

Hang on.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're like.

[Vin]

You're taller.

[Ben]

You're taller sat down than you are.

[Vin]

You've gotten taller somehow. You're not normally that tall. What's going on?

[Matthew Crosby]

All right, I'll move the chair down. There you go. How's that? That's better.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, There we go. Yeah. And you got to pull the mic down as well, right?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Now I'm basically broadcasting from under a desk now. Absolutely. You know what? But this is it, isn't it? You know, you're on stage, you're a rock God, and then the comedown. That's why they took the drugs in the first place, wasn't it? Because they could never maintain. You know, one minute you're on stage, you know, Donington, Monsters of Rock, and then the next, you're under a desk. And that's. That's rock and roll, man.

[Ben]

So coming up on the show today, obviously, you'll be taking some drugs.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'll be taking drugs.

[Ben]

We'll be seeing how that. We'll be seeing how that works out.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're waiting for Boots to open, though. Yes, we've got it. We've got to wait for Boots in the train station to open. I'm gonna do a run. I'm gonna. Absolutely. I'm gonna go off my tees on Piriton.

[Ben]

You can have big Lem sip.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna go big. Yeah.

[Ben]

Pint thereof.

[Matthew Crosby]

I will say one thing. I don't take any drugs. I don't drink or take any drugs. But one thing I do like to do is before I have a Lem sip, you know, you tear off the top.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You mix it up with your hot water. Then you've got the sachet. I put it over my mouth. I do a big.

[Ben]

You do a hug.

[Matthew Crosby]

A big puff of it up into. And it hits the back of your pipes, and that makes you feel alive.

[Ben]

I rub it on my gums, do you?

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

If it's good stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. You cut it open with a knife, don't you? And then you rub it on your gums. Then you nod at the guy in Boots.

[Ben]

Yes, please.

[Ed Gamble]

Crunch and crumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. I'm back on a working microphone now. It feels like we might be able to do a show.

[Ben]

I reckon we can get through to at least 10.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, let's.

[Ben]

The last hour's up in the air, I think.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. Let's try and make it through to 10 o'. Clock. So we're with you till. Say it with me. Legs.

[Ben]

10 legs.

[Vin]

I mean, I'm so close.

[Ben]

No, we will. We will be with you until. Legs 11. We just don't know. Thank you, Vin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you very much.

[Ben]

The speed of this guy.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know. Absolutely wild.

[Ben]

A lot of. A lot of people producing a Sunday morning show wouldn't. Wouldn't be on it as much as Vin is.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, Vin is amazing. Yeah, he's absolutely amazing.

[Vin]

Yeah. Only one broken microphone so far.

[Ben]

Yeah, so far.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not bad, is it?

[Ben]

And a very late sound cue.

[Vin]

Nearly two links out of that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I don't know if the broken microphone was the thing that we got the link out of.

[Vin]

Nearly two.

[Matthew Crosby]

So. No, no, zero is nearly two. I guess it's very nearly two. Zero. Someone's asked if I'll record the. The intro. The good news is, by the way, you can get it on a. You can get it on a podcast or I'll say even better than that. There's an eight minute long version of it recorded by Black Sabbath is way, way better. Oh my God.

[Ben]

No, I think it's. Obviously, you know, it was revolutionary and you know, that lyrically was incredible. Anti war songs. But I prefer it when it's about a show that I'm on. I think all songs should be rerecorded about. About things that I'm involved with.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, that's great. I'm doing another intro in a couple of. A couple of weeks time. That is basically what I have been doing for about. For the last seven years.

[Ben]

Yeah. But I've not listened until this point. It's incredible.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's really good. You can absolutely love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Hench.

[Matthew Crosby]

Old and peculiar Radio X oh, lovely

[Ben]

spring day I've slept for so long. Sweaty and disgusting. I'll tell you what I need. I need. I need to freshen up and I need to get myself going in the morning or I've run out of coffee. So have to have something to a little tipple this morning. I think I need to freshen myself up. Remember that? So I think cheap vodka and an acid bath.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, please. Oh, I'd love to luxuriate in this acid bath.

[Ben]

Acid bath, man. Legendary. Only released two albums in the. In the mid-90s.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, you can hear the 90s production on that. Wait, this is. This is. Is this them back?

[Ben]

No, this is from the mid-90s, but they are back. They're touring again.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fantastic.

[Ben]

It's very much a band where everyone's like, I love them back in the day. And you're like, no, you didn't. They've picked up a cult status now, but they are opening this summer for System of A Down.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, wow, What a gig.

[Ben]

I will be seeing Acid Bath twice at the Spurs Stadium.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fantastic. Yes. Well, have a wonderful time.

[Ben]

Thank you so much.

[Matthew Crosby]

Speaking of Spurs Stadium, these guys were there. Arctic Monkeys. Why do you only call me when you're high? They were there. What?

[Ben]

That's good, Link, if that's true.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you sure?

[Vin]

Is that true?

[Matthew Crosby]

They did Spur, Sadie,

[Ed Gamble]

Crobby, J and the Machine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X.

[Ben]

Pop a coat on, you big chimp. It's the Arctic Monkeys. Now, while that song was on, I'd say the most Radio X debate ever happened in the studio. If you imagine what would happen at Radio X, it's very much one person saying the Arctic Monkeys did play at Spurs Stadium and the other person saying they didn't play at Spurs Stadium. Do we have any.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I can tell you now that they did. Anyway, coming up on the show. No, wait. Of that. All right.

[Ben]

Oh, is it the opposite?

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, I. I said it.

[Vin]

What you said was you were thinking of Beyonce.

[Matthew Crosby]

I said I was thinking of Beyonce. That's right.

[Ben]

She was there, but I went for a win. Stall this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, no, I was. I was. I was thinking of Beyonce. Anyway, Lady Gaga's done it, Vin. Like a little dweeb. Said, roses have done it, said Aaron. I don't think they did, actually. He pushed his glasses up his nose and he started tapping away on his. On his. He pushed them all the way back

[Ben]

into his skull, hasn't he?

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. Yeah. He's now got two glass eyes, but they're his eyes.

[Ben]

I'll tell you. He has played there. Spurs.

[Vin]

Spurs played there.

[Matthew Crosby]

But listen, hey, listen, I. I didn't say. I never said they played there. Right. Did I say. I said they were there. I said they were there. Right. Sheffield Wednesday versus Tottenham.

[Vin]

Imagine Dragon.

[Matthew Crosby]

Alex Turner was there, cheering his favorite team on Kendrick Lamar. No, not Kendrick Lamar. I was thinking of Kendrick Lamar.

[Vin]

Yeah, Monkeys.

[Matthew Crosby]

I didn't say they played there, did I? I didn't say they played that. I said they were there.

[Vin]

You were thinking of the Emirates.

[Ben]

Yes, I was thinking, oh, did they play the Emirates?

[Matthew Crosby]

They played the Emirates.

[Ben]

That's useless to me.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's useless. Anyway, this has been Sports Desk, Radio X.

[Ben]

Goal.

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you playing there, guys?

[Ben]

Lacrosse. Mega sports trick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I join in? Fair enough.

[Ben]

Slide tackle.

[Ed Gamble]

It's sports time with our resident experts, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ben]

Double goal. You really are on it today, Ben.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is amazing. Yeah, I mean, well, he is on it, but normally we have the headlines

[Ben]

in front of us on the Sports

[Matthew Crosby]

Desk, so we're not on it.

[Vin]

It's weird to play the theme tune at the end of the piece.

[Matthew Crosby]

We had to play the theme tune.

[Ben]

I'm sure we could come up with

[Matthew Crosby]

something we can do a sports day. I tell you what, you tell me what you think about sports and I'll bring up the sports website. I'll type sports into Bing.

[Ben]

Okay. Oh, it's been a big week for sports, hasn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's been a huge week, mate.

[Ben]

The big football happened.

[Matthew Crosby]

The big football happened. Well, of course, we all know the big football was Andy Carroll wins on managerial debut at Dagenham in front of shareholder KSI. It's fairly obvious what's going on there.

[Ben]

Wow. Wow. Obviously, F1. F1.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ben]

The red car and the blue car had a race.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. You know what all Red wanted to do was stuff his face.

[Ben]

That was pretty huge.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was pretty enormous, wasn't it?

[Ben]

Gladiators on again. Is that sports?

[Matthew Crosby]

Gladiators is coming back soon. Yeah, I love gladiators. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ufc, of course. UFC is happening.

[Ben]

They got out some of their frustrations on each other, didn't they?

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely, yeah.

[Ben]

And then they had a big kiss in the dressing room.

[Matthew Crosby]

The thing I think about UFC is I think it's just great to see those guys just find an outlet for that kind of thing and then it never spills into their real life. That's what I like about it. Once again, they get it all out in however long match takes, and then they're just really cool people afterwards.

[Ben]

Yeah, I love those fights where they just end up wiggling around on the floor. That's what I like.

[Vin]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

I also. I like to see those fights where it's like. It's like a YouTuber versus a pensioner.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think those are my favorite. That's. Can I show?

[Ben]

That's good boxing. That's good boxing.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's good boxing.

[Vin]

Yeah, I think that's it. I think that was, like, four headlines.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe that was Sports Desk. And, of course, Britain misses out on title shot after controversial versus Everlov Live. Anyway.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Yeah. It's true. That was ufc Radio X, Ed Gamble

[Ed Gamble]

and Matthew Crosby,

[Ben]

Kings of Leon, live from Stamford Bridge. Ed Gambler. Matthew Crosby here on Radio X with you until 11:00am Now. Matthew, what you been up to recently? It's our new section. Matthew, what you been up to?

[Matthew Crosby]

What you been up to recently? I can tell you. I can tell you. Yesterday my daughter was coming back from her. Her drama class.

[Ben]

Yes. Love that. She's doing a drama class, by the way.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, she loves it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's doing the Jungle Book at the moment.

[Ben]

Who's she playing?

[Matthew Crosby]

She's playing Baloo. Oh, great role. Great role. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben]

She'll be a bit worried for when another child sits on her stomach when they do the river scene.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. They're getting a very, very light child.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Someone from reception is gonna sit on her stomach. It's absolutely. It's absolutely fine. No, so she's. She's doing that. Anyway, we're walking home through our lovely neighborhood of Beckenham and anything that is left on a wall. But it says, please take.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

She want to take it.

[Ben]

Yeah, of course. Because it says please take.

[Matthew Crosby]

I. I feel the stuff. I feel the same way. And I've had to sort of. I've spent the last 46 years training myself out of that.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But now I've got two kids who. Absolutely. And a lot of the time, because it's. Because the neighborhood we live in, it is toys.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So then you go, well, you can't have that.

[Ben]

It's, you know, it's full of lice.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's full of lice. It's for a baby and it's full of lice. Let a little baby enjoy the lice. So anyway, sometimes I'm not always as vigilant as I could be. And she grabs a thing anyway.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And so yesterday she came home with her absolute pride and joy. She loves it. She spent all evening with it. David Badil's memoir. She's six years old.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's loving it.

[Ben]

She's reading it.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's reading it.

[Ben]

Absolutely astonishing.

[Matthew Crosby]

The story as well, about his father. It begins. I think the opening line of it is something along the lines of, my mother's funeral was in Golda's green Crematory, or whatever it goes in.

[Ben]

Well, a lot of kids books start like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, the death of a mother.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. In fact, little Jerry Sinnon was saying that every week we've started watching a thing called Scaredy Cats on Netflix, which is great, but she's like, why is the mum Always dead.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's like everything. It's such a good point. Every. It's bad really, isn't it?

[Ben]

Yeah. Or both parents. I'm thinking of like, well, frozen lemony Snicket thing. Both parents die at the beginning.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get rid of the parents.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Matthew Crosby]

But, yeah, so she's loving.

[Ben]

That's so funny though.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's really just sat there because her other favorite book is Jo Wilkinson's book.

[Ben]

Sure. But that's like.

[Matthew Crosby]

But that's a. That's a comic book, right? Yeah. She has obviously no clue who David Badil is.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

She just loves to read.

[Ben]

We should try and get Badil on the show to talk to him about his new fan.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's great.

[Ben]

Will she write a review for us maybe of the book?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. She can write a review of David Badill's memoir. We'll do it next week. I'll try and get her to record it if we can. Yeah.

[Ben]

I'll think of what other books we can make.

[Matthew Crosby]

The thing is, as well, David Badill writes books for your age.

[Ben]

Yeah. If she's not interested in that.

[Matthew Crosby]

No way.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's for babies. They're full of lice. No. Thank you.

[Ben]

So. Yeah. Is there a texture in this? Best free thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Best free thing.

[Ben]

Best free thing. Oh, you found on a wall.

[Matthew Crosby]

Best free thing. Yes. Yeah. Best free thing. Not exclusive to walls.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But what's the best thing you've got for free?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, great stuff.

[Ben]

3936.

[Vin]

Whoa.

[Ben]

I'm so sorry I've said sex.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I just apolog. Sorry. We have to do our official apology. I would just like to apologize to anyone who's offended by the rude word that our co host said there extremely raps.

[Ben]

I'm so sorry.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you. By the way, we're also.

[Ben]

It won't happen again.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't play this link now to little Jerry Cinnamon.

[Ben]

No, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, we've talked about it. Because it will end with a word. I have to explain.

[Ben]

Let me say 839. Sex is one of the most difficult positions. You need three of you and one of you needs to be incredibly bendy.

[Matthew Crosby]

You need to be double jointed at the knees for that. Anyway, not sure.

[Vin]

As an apology.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. And we're very sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

The Good, the Bad and the Queen. Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're asking what have you got for free?

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

What have you got for. Well. And Will is sort of. I mean, I guess he's sort of. He sort of picked up the ball and run with It.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ben]

I mean, I think this is. He's taken the ball in a new direction, onto a different pitch, maybe.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but that's. That's how. You know, that's how you work, isn't it? That's how you create great art.

[Ben]

Yeah. Will says, I found a dead mole when I was 6. I put it in a big jar so I could bring it into the school and everyone could see how animals decompose. Incredibly. My teacher agreed. And it sat in class, putrefying for weeks.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then he gave it to the band Slipknot, who would huff it on stage.

[Ben]

Huff it like you do with a lemzip.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's like I do with the lemsip.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So that's sort of not quite what we're talking about, but still. 83936 on the text. So you can WhatsApp us through global Player.

[Ben]

Joe's taking it in another different direction. I think we can extend it to what have you won in a competition?

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, yeah, sure.

[Ben]

Because not quite the same, but I won a Sting album in a Tampax competition when I was 17.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great.

[Ben]

Why is that the prize in a Tampax competition? What's going on there?

[Matthew Crosby]

The last thing you want to think about is the word Sting. Surely, surely. But yes. So this is. This has become a. This has become an incredibly sort of broad test now, hasn't it?

[Ben]

Yeah, it has.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it's like, what's. It's basically what's going on.

[Ben]

What have you found? What have you found?

[Matthew Crosby]

What have you found?

[Ben]

What have you won? What have you got for free?

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the Radio X heyday.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Ed Gamble. It's Matthew Crosby. Well, it's not Ed Gamble at the moment because he's gone out to make a coffee, but it's Ed Gamble. It's Matthew Crosby. We're with you till 11am and we're asking the question, what have you got for free? And it's been quite a sort of like, this is. We've had a. It's been quite a broad church so far. It began with Will telling us he'd found a dead mole when he was six. Technically, I can't argue with it.

[Ben]

It.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was free. Vin, why are you leaving now? Why are you getting out of here?

[Vin]

Well, I wouldn't draw attention to it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, fair enough. He's not gonna. You're gonna see me to carry on. Okay, fair enough. So we'll. We'll start with this from Becca B.

[Ben]

Everyone, Capital have stolen all our Coffee.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's gone on there? Why? Listen, there's a. There's a turf war going on between us.

[Ben]

There really is. And I feel like it took me ages. I had to go in because I wanted to use the proper pod machine. Is this for radio?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is what we do. What we're doing right now is radio.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it is for radio.

[Ben]

Yeah. Mad, isn't it? Yeah. So I had to go and get pods from Capital and then running them through and then I was just catching up with some people in the building.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's great. You know, that's the great thing about this building full of brim peeps.

[Ben]

You cannot have a go at me for loving to chat. This is why this show works.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Who did you meet, man? Oh, the man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lady, Absolutely, yeah.

[Ben]

Man and a lady.

[Matthew Crosby]

Man and a lady.

[Ben]

What if they're ghosts? Do you ever worry about that when you meet someone and there's no one else in the room? If they're ghosts?

[Matthew Crosby]

Especially when you're wandering around London, because we get in very early into London town, right. You think, is this a real person or is it a spectre?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it a ghoul?

[Ben]

Is it a ghoul? They're certainly acting like a ghoul on Leicester Square.

[Matthew Crosby]

I went past a club this morning and people going in and out of the club. What are you doing? It's 6:25am Was that ever you, though,

[Ben]

back in the day? Would you ever have done that? No. Me neither.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, No. I might have gone to, like, house parties where we chase the night but out of doors. No, thank you.

[Ben]

Shall we chase the night, lads?

[Matthew Crosby]

May we chase the night, my friends? May we chase the night? Yeah. But no, I would never. Awful. I used, when I'd gig at Basset Arts Center. You sometimes do a gig at Basset Arts center and you would arrive there and there would be that club that stays open. It was like open on late Saturday night and stay open till like, basically Sunday afternoon, right? And there'd be all these people wandering around like it was, you know, like it was like the Walking Dead. And you think, what's wrong with you?

[Ben]

Come on, that's not.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, you think you're having a nice time. I can tell you now, you're not having a nice time, you're having a bad time.

[Ben]

My version of that would be if I was doing like four gigs in London on a Saturday night, if I was on with comics that I got on with, sometimes we'd go out for some drinks.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

And then at midnight we'd go for a slap up dinner at Balance and then go home.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. I will tell you one thing. The first time I ever got drunk, it was with me and my friend Alan Aleric.

[Ben]

Of course it was of course that next time. Let me guess.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Sorry, Sorry. So we got drunk and we were watching like manga movies and stuff at a sleepover.

[Ben]

And then he was like, I total nerds. Come on.

[Matthew Crosby]

We were watching manga movies and then he said, I think my parents have got booze in the house. So we went and we drank. What I think was. It was called like something like alcoholic mixer. It was like a really nasty. It was like cooking stuff really. But we drank that. We got absolutely battered. And we went out. We went out into Bromley. But we were both.

[Ben]

We went out, we went out.

[Matthew Crosby]

We were like, we gotta go out. And we went out into Bromley. We were wandering around the streets in our pajamas. I wore like sort of old fashioned, like granddad pajamas when I was 16. Of course, I did start as.

[Ben]

You mean to go on?

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Well, it was what, you know, there's a sad reason for it, but it's like, it's what Kurt got married in. So I was like, well, I'm get myself a pair of old man pajamas. And lucky enough, it corresponded around the time my granddad wanted to get rid of a load of clothes. Cause, you know, died, so you weren't actually wearing. So I was wearing my dead granddad's pajamas.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then we were wandering around. We're like, oh, it's busy. We sort of wandered into like commuter land and we were hammered in our pajamas, screaming, your pajamas. Not my granddad's. My dead granddad's pajamas. Exactly, yeah.

[Ben]

Haunted pajamas.

[Vin]

Hang on, what sort of time is it?

[Matthew Crosby]

So it must have been 7am by this point.

[Ben]

We just wandered until we stayed up all night.

[Matthew Crosby]

We stayed up all night watching manga movies. Got hammered at like probably four. We trashed Alaric's bedroom. That was something we just. He was like, I hate all my stuff. Yeah, let's tear up all my posters. I trashed his bedroom. Then went out into like. We just hanging around outside Bromley north with people, you know, wearing suits, holding briefcases and going off to real jobs.

[Ben]

Couple of kids in your gym jams screaming at them.

[Matthew Crosby]

We were screaming at them about Green Day, about how much we love Green Day. You don't even know about Green Day, guys. It was insane. Yeah. Yeah. And weirdly, that wasn't the point.

[Ed Gamble]

I stopped drinking Radio X Dead Boy and Soupy Ghost.

[Ben]

Royal Blood on Radio X. It's Ed Gamble and little Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

You won a free Royal Blood cd, didn't you, in a competition?

[Ben]

I did.

[Matthew Crosby]

Who was running that again?

[Ben]

Yeah. Well, come on. We did the joke, we moved on.

[Matthew Crosby]

I didn't hear it at the time.

[Ben]

I sort of heard it, but that was good. And you know what? That's why it's the best joke I've ever done on this show.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's two of the best jokes you've ever done on the show.

[Ben]

You didn't hear it and. Yes. And it. Until it was pummeled into the ground.

[Matthew Crosby]

I didn't destroy it.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Would you prefer it if I just didn't say anything during this show?

[Ben]

No. I like you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, thank you. Well, that wasn't the question, but that weird that he wants, actually. I hate that answer.

[Vin]

Question.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I like you. Oh, no. That spun me out. Yes. Hello.

[Vin]

During that Royal Blood song, you were drumming on your head. On your headphones.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. Drumming on the headphones.

[Vin]

What was that about?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because

[Ben]

absolute hospital pass from.

[Matthew Crosby]

What is that about?

[Ben]

What's that about?

[Matthew Crosby]

What's that about? Well, you can hear it really well, can't you? If you drum on the headphones, then it's. Then you're making it.

[Vin]

So are you drumming along with it?

[Matthew Crosby]

I was drumming along for it, yeah. Like that.

[Vin]

Yeah. Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, you can't really. Can you hear that there? I can't tell because I've got my headphones on and I'm drumming on them.

[Ben]

This can't be the radio, can it? That we're doing now.

[Matthew Crosby]

I thought we're doing a rehearsal. This one can't be going out because

[Vin]

you've been doing some interesting headphone stuff today. Before that, you were popping one off from one ear and then popping it back on, then doing it on the other side.

[Ben]

You know, this was in the rehearsal. People don't know. We get in at 5am to do a full run through none of this. And VIN never sticks to the script.

[Vin]

It was like Newton's cradle, but with your headphones.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's right. I was pulling one off and then I was pulling one off on the other side. We can't say pulling one off on the radio, can we?

[Ben]

That's a moderate.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Anyway, today we're talking about the best things you got for free. Yes, that's what we're talking about. So we've had some lovely messages in. I want to start with this one from Mick. My lady, I don't know if it's.

[Vin]

Please God.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fingers crossed. It's Mick Chen. Mick Chen has sent us an email, but we'll read. We'll read that on the podcast.

[Vin]

Mick Chen's the funniest guy me.

[Matthew Crosby]

When he's in it, he very suspiciously. Mick Chen's message very suspiciously says, I like Vin or something like that, which makes it seem like it really is you.

[Ben]

It really is really funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

It really is you. My lad Marcus writes. Mick. My lad Marcus emigrated to Spain after voting for Brexit. Sadly, he wasn't able to take his one and only attempt at taxidermy due to those pesky EU laws about carrying dead rodents in your hand luggage. So he gave it to me. Behold the Terminator squirrel. Now, you've got to have a look at this.

[Ben]

I had a look at the Terminator squirrel. It is. I mean, obviously I'd have that in my house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it looks like the most thing you'd love.

[Ben]

Ratty, grody piece of taxidermy of a squirrel holding a big gun.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's. It's a squirrel that's been seriously affected by mange.

[Ben]

Yes. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it's good. But the little bits of its fur that are peeling off have got robot stuff underneath.

[Ben]

I mean, it's cool.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's cool. But there is no way. If I saw that on a wall, I'd let my kids pick that up. There's no way. That's got lice all over it. Absolutely disgusting. But thank you very much. Mick in Hastings.

[Ben]

This is from Gareth. In London, my mates and I went to a casino for a night out because we were degenerates, but also because they were giving raffle tickets away at the door and the most common prize was a free drink.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's what you want.

[Ben]

I took the ticket to the bar and was told I'd not want a drink but an ipod. I was confused and disappointed. I wanted the beverage.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm sure someone would have swapped you the drink.

[Ben]

I reckon so.

[Matthew Crosby]

Swapped you the drink for an ipod. Yeah.

[Ben]

I wish ipods were still a thing I love. Now I'm 40, I just think of what was great in the past.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah. My friend Jack, he had so many songs.

[Ben]

Alaric.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, different. Different friend. I've got two friends.

[Ben]

Change it to Alaric.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. My friend Alaric.

[Vin]

Short for Alaric.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, my friend. Anyway, my friend Alaric had so many songs, he had to super glue two ipods together. And he called it this. He called it the silverback fat pod.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew Crosby and Edward Rad.

[Ben]

What have you got for free, you guys?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, indeed. An anonymous texter writes, one time Joe Lycett gave me €70 at all points east because I was going to Portugal the next day.

[Ben]

Wow. Way. What. What a guy.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a guy.

[Ben]

That's all. Just make sure. Just go up to Joe Lycett and say you're off to somewhere in Europe and you'll get. You'll get a big old wadge.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's like the bureau de change of comedy, isn't he? He's constantly, you know, like, you know, he likes to wear. He'll often wear quite utre outfits, but they're all full of currency. Currency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he's wearing like a sort of big ruff or something, you think, oh, that looks that fancy. But you look a little bit closer. That is a load of lira.

[Ben]

Yeah. If you need a Zimbabwean dollars, then strapped to the gooch.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. That's where he keeps them. Nice and warm. Nice and warm.

[Ben]

A billion dollar note.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've also had this message in from Mr. Will that's not about getting free things. Morning, lads. Good to have you back, Ed. Thank you. No potato chat this morning, but thought I'd let you know how desperate for content the Christmas Moyles show is.

[Ben]

Chris Moyles, I think he means.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, he does mean that, but I like calling it the Christmas Moyles Show.

[Ben]

Well, I think November is when he renamed. He goes by deed pole.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right.

[Ben]

Names himself Christmas Moyles. Christmas Moyles and then has the check back in January.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ho ho, ho. The Christmas Moyles show is, to my surprise, listening to their podcast Yesterday, in the WhatsApp Messages section of their show, they played me whistling, which they took. Which they took the mick out of for being so random, but then played it about eight times. But I sent that in a month ago to Matthew's segment How Good can youn Whistle? Whatever it was called, which I think

[Vin]

we did play on the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, we did. I thought that was a great. How well can you whistle?

[Ben]

So he's going through all whatsapps, regardless of whether they're for his show or not.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

And just playing them out.

[Matthew Crosby]

And he's gonna be chatting about Joe Lycett carrying coins around in his podcast.

[Ben]

Look, when you gotta do five shows a week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Ben]

Just. You gotta absolutely rinse all correspondence, haven't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

Honestly. And they're long old shows and he has to get up early in the morning.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So y. You know, we've got to cut Moyles A little bit of slack.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby

[Ben]

Oasis on Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Now, as is tradition, when we play Oasis, we then talk about the Wu Tang Clan.

[Matthew Crosby]

We talk about them. Yes. And Vin.

[Ben]

Vin. Let's enter the gravel pit.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let's enter the 36 chambers.

[Vin]

There we go.

[Ben]

Go.

[Matthew Crosby]

Go on. Go on.

[Ben]

Swarm of killer bees. Here we go.

[Vin]

I went to see them at the O2 on Tuesday night. It's their farewell tour.

[Matthew Crosby]

So can I ask a question about before you. Before you go? Tell me all about it. Do they do the skits as well? Do they do the torture one? Do they do the torture one?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna keep feeding you and feeding you and feeding you.

[Vin]

They don't. And I was sort of hope. That's the one I wanted to hear.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course. That's the one.

[Vin]

Go blow into Method.

[Matthew Crosby]

That one.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Vin]

No, they don't. There's this live band, you know, it's a big production.

[Ben]

It is. But what I've heard about going to see the Wu Tang Clan live is you never know which ones are gonna show up.

[Vin]

Yeah, that is very much the case. But because it's the farewell tour, I think that that was the point, was that it was. They're finally gonna get everyone together. And you can guarantee that.

[Ben]

Surviving members.

[Vin]

Yes, exactly.

[Ben]

Of course. Because ODB is no longer with us.

[Matthew Crosby]

ODB's up top.

[Vin]

His son was there. YDB.

[Ben]

Oh, yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, so he's still a DB. He's still a DB.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But he's. Yeah, doing the same bits. DB the younger.

[Vin]

So they had everyone together except for the jizzo.

[Ben]

There was no.

[Vin]

No, the jizzer there.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. There is a.

[Vin]

There is. Was there.

[Matthew Crosby]

There is.

[Ben]

It was there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. Yeah.

[Vin]

Everyone. I mean, Method man was the highlight. He was amazing.

[Ben]

And he did. They did Method man, the song.

[Vin]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah.

[Ben]

And I'm kind of jealous because I've never seen them.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I've never seen them.

[Ben]

I think certainly 36 Chambers was a big album for me when I was a teenager.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

As was Wu Tang Forever, which is not as good, the double album, but I think I got it at the same time. So I would have loved to have seen them live with. With the classic lineup.

[Vin]

But I think they're all going to keep touring. I think the point is that it's just they won't all necessarily be together.

[Ben]

Right. Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

In the future.

[Vin]

But I would go and see Method man again.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vin]

And he teased in solo stuff. I don't know if he does stuff with Redman as well.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Like. And they do 36 chambers at the start. And then they all sort of have their own little solo sections anyway.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are they doing Gravel Pit? Are they dressing as the Flintstones and doing.

[Vin]

They did, like, sort of half of Gravel Pit it. But then that's sort of fine.

[Ben]

Are they doing anything from the Martin Shkreli album?

[Vin]

Yeah, I don't think. But of course, I wouldn't know.

[Ben]

No, you wouldn't know. They could just say anything from the album.

[Vin]

None of us would know. But it was very good. There was a lot of QR codes. Much, much men. Much more QR codes than a normal gig.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Vin]

I would say they kept.

[Ben]

So you could order food and stuff,

[Vin]

so you could buy merch. Obviously, that was the main thing. But then they also wanted you to vote for them to be in the

[Ben]

Rock and Roll hall of Fame, as they should be.

[Matthew Crosby]

So he should be.

[Vin]

The Rizza said, we're the black Beatles. We should be in there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Which is cool.

[Vin]

That's a cool thing to say.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Vin]

They kept putting it up.

[Ben]

He said as well.

[Vin]

He said, hey, Tour manager, put the QR code back. Which is like, the guy's got a

[Matthew Crosby]

name, which is up there with, hey, Mr. DJ, put a record on.

[Vin]

Isn't it off Mike?

[Ben]

Yeah, but they've all got nicknames, right? So tour manager's nickname is tour Manager. I always thought it was funny. Quite a deep cut. But sometimes they run through everyone's name. Why is Raekwon the Chef? Yeah, I just think it's the least badass rap nickname ever. Raekwon the Chef.

[Matthew Crosby]

Because he's cooking.

[Ben]

He's cooking. Yeah, but what's he cooking?

[Matthew Crosby]

The Chef is a good. That's a good name for a rapper.

[Ben]

So as he's cooking beats or cooking vibes. But I always imagined him actually cooking.

[Vin]

Yeah, Just. Just taking a little chef around with you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Does he ever. Does he ever wear the big tall hat? Yeah, that's what you see.

[Vin]

He and Ghostface both had the big tall hat.

[Ben]

Ghostface is so good.

[Vin]

Oh, you mean a chef's hat.

[Matthew Crosby]

How many chefs hat? Yes, I was gonna say, because Ghostface cannot have a chef's hat on. If you've got. If you've got the chef there. That's a real kick in the jaffa.

[Vin]

They both had big woolly hats on, but they were very tall.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sorry, what kind of hats?

[Vin]

Woolly hats.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, right, okay, Fair enough. I remember because we know big woolly star was, of course, Will Smith. Very different Very different branch of hip hop at school.

[Ben]

Once, when we were queuing to get into lunch, there would always be a prefect on the door of lunch, sort of like stemming the flow. If it was too busy in there,

[Matthew Crosby]

you'd have to wait for avoiding people getting kettled.

[Ben]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And once the prefect said, I'll only let you in if you can name a member of Wu Tang.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's great.

[Ben]

So I was like, I can't. Couldn't wait for myself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Ben]

I went deep. I went, you God.

[Vin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

You got golden arms.

[Matthew Crosby]

And so there were. Presumably there were little dweebs.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Who were just going hungry.

[Ben]

Yeah. They didn't deserve to eat Mozart.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you know what? I'm not. I'm not.

[Ben]

Sod off, nerd.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm not a fan of gatekeeping. I'm not a fan of. Oh, you're wearing the T shirt name.

[Ben]

He's cooking drugs. And that makes a lot more sense. But when I was. When I was a teenager, I genuinely thought he was like, they were all from a gig and Raekwon would be like, what does everyone want?

[Matthew Crosby]

You thought he was cooking in your school canteens. That's the reason why.

[Ben]

Oh, let me in. I know Raekwon's there today.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, he's good.

[Ben]

He's really good. Turkey Twizzlers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Should we play the Clash?

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. That was quite a fun, fun link, actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it was. I enjoyed that. Yeah. We should do this as, like, a radio show.

[Ed Gamble]

Bill and Matthew, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

You won't be able to see this, but Ed is tittering away in the corner. Ed, what's tickled you this Sunday night?

[Ben]

Ryan Halliwell's text, which I don't think we can read out.

[Matthew Crosby]

We can read it out, can't we? There's nothing rude in that, that.

[Ben]

My mates got kicked out of Wu Tang. Out of Wu Tang in London at the security search for shouting, please don't touch my penis. They went to the pub instead.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think that's a perfectly legitimate thing to say when you're. When you're being searched.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And also if you are being searched, they normally say, can we have a look in the bag? Can we have a look in your flies?

[Ben]

But were they doing it in the style of succulent Chinese men?

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course they were. They had to be.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

What is the charge? What is the charge? Si Deeves has got into succulent rep group Raycon.

[Vin]

The chef could cook that up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Si Deeves has got in touch to say, my friend, we Talk about three things here. My friend gave me a Weezer T shirt last year at a gig because it didn't fit him. Turns out he found it on the floor. So it was freezer for both of us. That's exactly what we want. Unless it was on the floor outside the gig along with loads of other T shirts. And there was a man crouching by it trying to send it across.

[Ben]

You could see the Fruit of the Loom logo through the Weezer logo.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good T shirts. Very strong T shirts. A friend of mine was talking about he's got one of those T shirts and someone wants to pay him like. Like a Radiohead T shirt from back in the day. Someone's to pay him 500 quid for it.

[Ben]

Well people.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's Matt. Not even the proper radio tour. The one off the. You know. Off the ground Academy. You could get a Fruit Loom T shirt. I mean that's what they have done. Yeah. And it's against the law.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But anyway. You know, we fought the law.

[Ben]

They were a fiver back in the day. Those ones off the floor.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was great. What a great time. I know.

[Ben]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. Thank you. Merch. I don't want the money to go to. You're only gonna spend it on pot. If it goes to the band you're only gonna spend it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna go outside. Spend a fiver off a floor shirt. Fiver for a floor shirt. It was a better time pass.

[Ben]

Put it on straight away.

[Ed Gamble]

Crunch and CRUMBLE Radio X. Is this a riddle or is this a nightmare?

[Ben]

We were mentioning the floor T shirts outside gigs. Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

The unofficial merch. It still happens. I think.

[Matthew Crosby]

It does still happen. Yeah. Happen.

[Ben]

And it's just that people turn a blind eye to it. Sidee says. I once saw someone try and steal a floor T shirt outside a gig. And you think the tiny man selling them was suddenly the undertaker. He took them to the ground without hesitation.

[Matthew Crosby]

While to protect your business. Haven't you? Even if your business is illegal.

[Ben]

Reminds me of a time when used to. In Edinburgh when I was a student, go out obviously until like five in the morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

And then there was this 24 hour Italian restaurant on Nicholson street and you could have a sit down meal at five in the morning.

[Matthew Crosby]

Love it. Yes.

[Ben]

And we went and sat down in there to get a pizza and there was someone very drunk on the table next to us and was messing around and then stood up to shout something and the old Italian waiter grabbed him by the neck and took him to the floor.

[Matthew Crosby]

Whoa.

[Ben]

It was amazing. It was so righteous. And then picked him up, sat him back down in the chair and went, free food for you. So obviously panicked that he'd done that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right.

[Ben]

And then paid his bill for him.

[Matthew Crosby]

I thought you were like, if you cause enough ruckus. They've just worked out the system of shutting people up. He's like, he's gonna be trouble. Just give him free food.

[Ben]

Yeah, give him free food.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's easier. It's easier to give him free food. Someone here says I once got free delivery cause I spent over £25.

[Ben]

Not quite what we were looking for, but I suppose it still works.

[Matthew Crosby]

Still in it. Do you want to do Dan from Newcastle?

[Ben]

Yes, I will. I won't do the ps, but I once found a full size pool table outside a pub being refurbished.

[Matthew Crosby]

I hope they weren't just taking it out.

[Ben]

Yeah, took it home. It was more or less too big. But it made a nice centerpiece for our New Year's Eve party that year. It sounds to me like they were refurbishing. They put the pool table outside while they did it. And then you took the whole pool table. I do not think you were supposed to take that down.

[Matthew Crosby]

What have you stolen, guys? 8, 3, 9, 3, 6, 1, 10. What have you accidentally stolen?

[Ben]

Because they were probably expecting. No one could take because they're heavy. Those pool tables.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is at the very least a four man job. A three man job. There's no, you know, they're huge. I also like the expression it was more or less too big. If it was more too big. Yeah. Then it's too big. If it's less too big. It's the right size.

[Ben]

It's the right size. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You carry more or less too big.

[Ben]

I watched a 40 minute YouTube video this week of Stephen Hendry playing people at pool.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you now?

[Ben]

12 people at a pool club. All right, well, that's the sort of thing I'd watch anyway.

[Vin]

Not at once. Like one after another.

[Ben]

No, no. One after another. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not all at once.

[Vin]

Yeah. I'd be more interested in all at once.

[Ben]

I think what they all take. 12 people take a shot at the same time. Chaos.

[Vin]

Well, they all share a cue. All 12 of them have got to

[Ben]

be touching a really long queue.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't. I. Yeah. I think most people would be able to beat 12 people all touching the same queue.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. Does it seem like. Aren't you giving. Aren't you giving those people 12 people a massive disadvantage?

[Vin]

It'd be interesting to see how it

[Matthew Crosby]

would be interesting to see. And you know what? That's exactly the way Mr. Beast started, wasn't it? This would be interesting to see. And now they're sure.

[Vin]

I don't know who's Mr.

[Matthew Crosby]

Beast. Oh, don't be that guy. Come on. You must know who MrBeast is.

[Vin]

Who's. Who's he? He's scary, man.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, he's. No. You think he's actually scared? No, he's not at all. He's actually. He's a very smiley man. Who is the sort of most famous person on YouTube?

[Ben]

Yeah. Biggest YouTuber.

[Matthew Crosby]

Biggest YouTuber of all time. Well, he's.

[Vin]

Charlie bit my finger.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's bigger. He's bigger than Charlie bit my finger.

[Vin]

That's a big finger.

[Ben]

Keep this anonymous, but I may have snuck into the Savoy Hotel and stole one of the posh handhelds and it happened to be the same day as the BAFTAs.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you. Okay, we won't say who that is.

[Ben]

No, keep it anonymous. That's what that means.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're a friend of the show. That's all I'll say.

[Ben]

Okay. Matthew,

[Vin]

she's gonna be furious.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't say she. I was trying to. I was trying to stitch up Andy the painter there, so I wanted Andy

[Ben]

the painter, who it is, to go down. Saffi says, accidentally stole a pair of bowling shoes when I got really drunk and forgot I was wearing them. Was too embarrassed to go back and get my boots.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is what.

[Ben]

But I think that's a swap more than a steal.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

We've got loads coming in now. People are letting us know what they've stolen.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's actually a better text than we had originally. But you know what, we've still got plenty of show to go. So what have you accidentally stolen? 83936 on the text or you can WhatsApp us through. Or genuinely stolen.

[Ben]

Like Kathy Redbitt.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Mask, you crobley. And Radio Ed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. I don't know.

[Ben]

I got obsessed when I was obviously probably between the ages of 16 and 18 with taking road signs was a big thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I used to love a road sign or a hubcap. I would absolutely love those. Yeah.

[Ben]

And one to. I went out with friends sort of drinking on, you know, the Common or whatever, of course, and woke up the next morning and I'd taken a big sign for like, a gardener and landscaper and obviously left outside the house to be like, yeah, look at this, look

[Matthew Crosby]

at this nice garden. Yeah.

[Ben]

And my mum obviously was like, what are you doing?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I used to get that.

[Ben]

I had to hobble back to where I'd got it from. Giving it back, holding it and putting it back outside.

[Matthew Crosby]

I hated that. I used to get really bad drunk in kleptomania when I was. I would have to go back to pubs the next day and I, like, nicked a cue ball or something like that and I go, sorry, I was in last night. Here you go. You can have this back. It was just that I was once in a club and there was big. It was like quite a posh place. It was after I'd done that Trinny and Susannah thing, so I was in quite a posh place.

[Ben]

You were doing well.

[Matthew Crosby]

What was that?

[Ben]

You were doing well, then?

[Matthew Crosby]

I was doing very well, yeah. Yeah. And I was there with Trinny and Suze and I saw a big thing

[Ben]

thing full of the showbiz stories.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know, it's mad, isn't it? So they had big. They had. They had big sort of dishes full of limes. Right. Anyway, we're in this bar, then we go to the next bar and it's a very, very swanky. It's called BG or Boji or one of those. It's like the club in Chelsea that everyone goes to. And I've got my bag with me and they say, oh, we have to check in your bag. And they unzipped it and I nicked all the limes.

[Ben]

How many limes?

[Matthew Crosby]

Probably 70 limes. I mixed 70. I don't know. I've suddenly remembered.

[Ben]

What did they say when they found the limes in you?

[Matthew Crosby]

They say, you're gonna have to eat that in the cloak room. You can't take those limes in there. No. Because, you know, you don't want to be like throwing a lime and it hits Princess Eugenie or something. You know what that zing. Absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X. We have the thickest listeners in radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Nearly the end of the show.

[Ben]

Oh, dear.

[Matthew Crosby]

And as you said, Ed, during that. It's terrible when you hit on the right texter this late in the show. We've got loads of messages about the stuff that you've nicked.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It turns out.

[Ben]

Or otherwise.

[Matthew Crosby]

Accidentally or otherwise. Yeah. So what we're gonna do is we'll do a rollover. This is also next week's texter.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sunday at radiox.co.uk.

[Ben]

email those in and we will read them out on next week's show.

[Matthew Crosby]

On next week's show, we'll do A few of them now. This is great. Do you want to do Nicole in Essex?

[Ben]

Yes, absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's good. It's good, but it's also bad.

[Ben]

We stole a life size cardboard cutout of Steve Redgrave. Sir Steven Redgrave, please. From a pub whilst watching the London Marathon. He came with us all day and we propped him up at the bar and said, he's paying.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lovely.

[Ben]

We later found out he was meant to be auctioned off for charity, which just made the hangover worse. The shame still haunts me. As it should.

[Matthew Crosby]

As it should.

[Ben]

You shouldn't steal stuff, guys. But it's a lovely story to start with. That's a lot of fun. Fun, isn't it? He's paying.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's paying.

[Ben]

Just bring in Steve.

[Matthew Crosby]

And a Night on the Razz with Steve. Sir Steve Redgrave. Yes, please. Ben Bennett writes, when I was an apprentice many years ago, I picked up a couple of the lads from work from band practice. They were drunk and they said, can you put that drum kit in your car? Bearing in mind I have a. Where's it gone now? You moved it around there and everything changed. Bearing in mind I have a Citroen Saxo. I then realized on Monday when I went back into. Stop doing it. Stop. Ed, Ed, you're really playing the game. Game here.

[Ben]

Sorry. We have a shared screen and we can control it. So if I just. I. I've only just realized that I can move the emails around while you're reading them.

[Matthew Crosby]

I struggle enough with it when it's just in front of me and I've just got to read it off a screen.

[Ben]

Vin's moved it again now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, thank you very.

[Vin]

I don't.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm really nervous about reading it now because I think it's going to move the second I start speaking. Bearing in mind I have a Citron Saxo. I then realized. Oh, stop it. I really went very frank Spencer there. Stop it.

[Ben]

Let's stop it. Open it up and then. I can't do it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you. Yes. There we go. When I was an apprentice many years ago, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yes. I then realized on Monday when I went back into work, it was not their drum kit. Ben from Plymouth. Ben, by the way, a lovely message. That wasn't your fault.

[Ben]

Yeah, you're an accessory. But by accident, it wasn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

It wasn't your fault at all.

[Ben]

The rush I just got when I realised I could move it around.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you love power. Crucially, you love power.

[Ben]

Absolutely. Buzzing. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Please don't do it ever again. I Tell you what, should we end the show there?

[Ben]

Yeah, sure.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think that's it. I think that's all.

[Ben]

We email email in sundayadiox.co.uk because we need to print those out for Matthew so I can't mess with his brain.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, please. Yeah. A hard copy you can't be fiddling around with. Thank you very much. Yeah, keep those coming in [e-mail] times you've stolen stuff. We're back Sunday morning, 8am get the podcast with even more stuff, but for now from us, bye.

[Ben]

Bye. Right,

[Matthew Crosby]

we've got some Radio X, Ed

[Ed Gamble]

Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ben]

Well, there we are, Matthew.

[Vin]

That was.

[Ben]

The show couldn't have done any better.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the mad thing.

[Ben]

Given the circumstances.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the mad thing. We couldn't have done any better. Yeah, that was the best show we've ever done. Yeah, Weird that in it, Mad. It's really weird. Anyway, thanks very much for listening to it. We've got a couple more messages we wanted to. To read out here. Well, one specifically that we mentioned in the pod, in the. In the main. In the main episode. This is from Mick Chen.

[Ben]

Yes, you love Mick Chen, Finn.

[Vin]

He's funny. Funny guy.

[Ben]

Yeah, you are. You are Mick Chen.

[Vin]

I wish I was Mick Chen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Dear Yank homeboy and Cat City, Can

[Ben]

Mick Chen send us a picture of himself holding up today's paper or the day's paper?

[Matthew Crosby]

That would be very good. Yeah. Can. Can we get.

[Ben]

Are we allowed to solicit pictures of listeners?

[Vin]

Well, it's up to Mick if he

[Matthew Crosby]

wants to do that. Yeah, we're not forcing him to, but we just to believe that Mick is a real person.

[Vin]

I imagine he's gonna. He'll send in a Photoshop, he'll send him like a picture of Obama or something, say it's him.

[Ben]

Yeah. And if he does that, we know it's, you know, it's you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly.

[Vin]

Please do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Dear Yank, homeboy in Cat City, I like Vin. Straight away, suspicious. I like Vin because Vin likes cats and understands that a cat in any given environment would make the world a better place.

[Ben]

We all like cat.

[Vin]

Cats.

[Matthew Crosby]

Everyone likes cats.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, not everyone in the world, but everyone here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, everyone. Yeah. Yeah, this is it. I've got a cat. I love my cat very much. You've got a lovely little cat.

[Ben]

He's massive.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is he?

[Ben]

He's gigantic, that boy. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is he heavy?

[Ben]

Not mass, I don't think massively heavy. But then I pick up other cats or I see other people's Cats. And I'm like, holy hell. Oh, yeah, I've got a big old cat.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a Chunky, if you like any.

[Ben]

He's very affectionate at the moment. So if you're like lying on the sofa or chilling out on the sofa, he will come and shout at you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great.

[Ben]

And any other cat you'd be like, you want feeding. He just wants to jump on you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cuddles.

[Ben]

Yeah. So he'll come and sit on my chest. And it is, it's quite relaxing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A cat on you is very, very relaxing. It's good for the sympathetic nervous system, isn't it, having a cat on you? Look up at that crane, Matt Crosby, you start to feel sick. Oh, there's a little puss. Puss on top. Grooming himself.

[Ben]

No. And licking his lovingness.

[Matthew Crosby]

And licking his or her Jenny's not so scary any.

[Ben]

And then puss licking his.

[Matthew Crosby]

Jenny's puss licking his. His or her Jenny's not so scary anymore. From Mick Chen's imposter. Oh, so is this from Mick Chen or is it just.

[Vin]

Well, I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. We don't.

[Ben]

Very confusing email.

[Vin]

I think the last time he emailed him, we had the same conversation and that's probably why. Yeah, he said it's impossible.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right? Yeah, yeah, we do. I, I, I do think it's you.

[Ben]

You.

[Vin]

It's not me, it's Mick Chen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but. Well, I think you are.

[Vin]

I don't know. I'm not M.

[Ben]

I've never been M. Beck.

[Matthew Crosby]

Rex. Yeah. Finished the, I finished the Louis. The documentary. I watched the last half hour and yes, it was, it was quite, quite similar to the.

[Vin]

You got the mom, though. You got mommy.

[Matthew Crosby]

I got mummy. Yes, yes, Mommy. A tricky situation there, wasn't it? Because the mummy was like, willing. But I mean, like, it's like any mummy willing to tell off her own kid, but if somebody else tells off her own kid, she tells that person off. I sort of felt a lot of sympathy for her, but, yeah, I think they're bad eggs.

[Ben]

Oh, huge hot take.

[Matthew Crosby]

Huge hot take on that. I think, I think they're bad eggs.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Although I did, I didn't love Louis Theroux trying to Gotcha. All their partners. I'd be like, you don't really think this, do you?

[Ben]

Yeah, it's like, okay, just, just leave them alone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Leave them alone.

[Ben]

They've got enough going on. Hey. I think I've had a breakdown this week and I've started watching heroes again. I was talking. So after the Royal Albert hall off menu show on Monday, my sister and my brother in law came and Heroes came up in conversation. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna watch Heroes again. And let me tell you, it's so much worse than I remember. Yeah, it's not held up, it's not a good show. And I think, I mean look, a lot of the story I enjoy, I think it really suffers from that network television thing of this back in the day when things had to be 20 something episodes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Cause they just, they're like veer away from the story, they'll paddle around in another thing for a bit, then they'll come back to the main story.

[Matthew Crosby]

And 24 episodes sort of works for like a sitcom where it doesn't really matter, you know.

[Ben]

Cause it's not like a big plot, it's not episodic. There are some episodic elements to it, but it is a huge plot. Like it's an arc and they do it like a comic book, which is always I found very impressive. And I still do that. They do it in like volumes and I like that. But yeah. And I remember watching it as a, as a teenager, probably watching it when I was, you know, 18, 19, 20, 21 around there at university on the library computers when I should have been doing my dissertation. And there was actually a clip of me in the graduation video looking at a. It was shot from behind the screen and I didn't know they were doing it. And I'm like looking at the screen like looking really concerned, biting me, my. Biting my fingernail. And I was like, I was episode 17, series one of Heroes. Still love hero from Heroes. Brilliant character. So I'm gonna persevere with it. But I remember starting series two even back in the day and being like a bad. And the only way to watch it. I've purchased all four seasons from Apple.

[Matthew Crosby]

And you're gonna do all four?

[Ben]

Well, I'm gonna try.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. My wife and I tried to do that with Dawson's Creek a little while ago.

[Ben]

Oh yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And the first couple of series. Fantastic.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then it really.

[Ben]

But it' not one that you'd be like, I'm watching back to back. You're not binge watching Dawson's Creek, are you?

[Matthew Crosby]

We were. I mean this is pre kids. We were, we were, yeah, we were, we were bing Dawson's a lot of Dawson's Creek. But yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. You should never go back, really, should you?

[Ben]

Well, I, I have and I'm Going to continue to go back. SNL UK are very, very much.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. I've not seen it yet, but obviously, fantastically talented cast and so good.

[Ben]

What a great, great team behind it. And I'm. I'm. I'm glad it was good.

[Vin]

Good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ben]

And I think that seems to be the general consensus.

[Matthew Crosby]

And you predict big things for that. Tina Fey.

[Ben]

Yeah, I think Tina Fey is going to go for it.

[Matthew Crosby]

One to watch.

[Ben]

Yeah, one to watch. Absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Genuinely, when I saw she was doing that, I was thinking, don't do that. Don't bring us another series of the four seasons. I want to watch more of that.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

SNL UK is for the young people. I want the Old Codger show. I want the adaptation of an Alan Alton movie. That's what I want.

[Ben]

I don't think she's on it full time from now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, she's not. She's not the main host.

[Ben]

No, no, no, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

Got another one coming in, but, yeah,

[Ben]

do go and watch that on. On now tv.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. What about you, Vin?

[Vin]

I've been listening to the Young Knives again.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yes, please.

[Vin]

Not sure why.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love the Young Knives, but they're great. Great.

[Vin]

And I found their cover of Kids in America.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, great.

[Vin]

Which is an excellent cover.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you ever see them live?

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, I saw them at Truck Festival back in the day. Of course I did, but they're great. That's why I was listening to them, because Delphic are back, inexplicably.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know. Delphic.

[Vin]

Delphic were like. They were a Mancunian, like, synth pop band. Same sort of era. Yeah, Noughties, but no, I mean, they split up ages and ages ago. Oh, yeah, I thought they thought. I thought they did, but yeah, new tune's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you excited about the Meet me in the Bathroom style book about indie sleaze that's coming out?

[Vin]

I mean, I sort of feel like I should write it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's been written already, so. Bad news.

[Ben]

You can't wait.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sorry, Mick Chen.

[Ben]

You can't wait for books to come out and then say, I should write that.

[Vin]

Wait, so they're actually doing one? I didn't know that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vin]

Oh, well, then, yes, I am excited about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, it will be. That'll be very good. Oh, I also. I went to a gig this week. I went to a gig at the Moth Club on Sunday. I saw. Remember Sports? Oh, yeah, phenomenal. So, so, so, so good. It was Fortitude Valley supporting Remember Sports and LK from Fortitude Valley had just got her voice back.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Having lost it for the entire.

[Ben]

She'd lost it for a lot of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

And Carmen from Roomba Sports had just got her voice back, having lost it for the entire tour. And it was such an. Like, you could tell. Everybody on stage was so delighted to be there for a bit. Carmen was, because she'd have to talk through like a little thing you type into and it plays it back.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

So occasionally she was doing that and like saying, like, you know, please try my prawns and this kind of stuff. You know, just like odd little messages. But then after a while, she was like, no, I'm gonna just. It was the last show of the tour. I'm just gonna talk. And really, I mean, both bands, phenomenal. But Carmen has just got the most amazing voice. I loved it. It was really, really great.

[Vin]

I also went to a gig this week.

[Matthew Crosby]

What did you see?

[Vin]

I saw Wu Tang Clan.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh.

[Ben]

But I wonder whether you showed up. Well, yeah, because when you book tickets for Wu Tang Clan, apparently it's really like.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ben]

There's a bit of a leaf you might get. But I wonder whether the roadie.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

Whether we should. Yeah, I think we should do a link on it because I think there's some things to tell you about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ben]

Okay. Well, scrappers, you will have heard it already. It's going to be awesome.

[Matthew Crosby]

You can tell us how it went.

[Vin]

Yeah, but I would bet. I would bet. Crack. Going to see Method Man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. Okay, so. All right, well, that's.

[Ben]

Anything.

[Matthew Crosby]

Spoiler alert. Well, I'm. Yeah. Okay, great.

[Vin]

Well, we'll.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm looking forward to talking about that. And you.

[Ben]

We'll say goodbye now. I can't wait to get on with Vin's link about going see the Wu Tang Clan.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, indeed. Fantastic. Have a wonderful week, everybody. We're going to be back on the radio at 8am next Sunday or. Of course.

[Ben]

Jesus.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I know. Too early, Lee. I mean, it is a prereq. Do we need to throw something out there for a prereq or have we got enough guests?

[Vin]

No one's booked yet, but we must have someone.

[Matthew Crosby]

We'll think of something. We'll think of something. Right. See you very soon. Have a wonderful week.

[Ben]

Bye. Bye.