Episode 355 – The Puzzle Kings

Summary

Podcast Summary: Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 355 – The Puzzle Kings
Date: April 19, 2026
Hosts: Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby ("Crunch & Crumble")

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Episode Overview

In this lively, irreverent episode, Ed and Matthew (joined by producer Vin) bring their signature blend of banter, audience interaction, and comedic takes on everyday struggles. The show’s main theme orbits around "moving house nightmares"—with both hosts and listeners sharing their mishaps and frustrations. Along the way, the show meanders through puzzles, trousers, conspiracy theories, heavy metal, and uniquely British digressions about everyday life.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Kicking Off: Listener Texts and Warm-up Banter

• The episode opens with chat about Uniqlo thermals, moving house, and a story from Matthew about wearing thermals at a Secret Cinema Shawshank event (00:26–01:57).
• Early on, Vin checks for "Moving House Nightmares" texts, setting the theme.
• Humorous confusion over celebrity names ("Grayson Perry" as a duo: 02:38, confusion over "Anton Deck" as one person: 03:06).

2. Listener Stories: Injuries, Conspiracies, and Odd Beliefs

Facial Injury Story (04:46)

• Listener Ken shares a gruesome, yet funny, tale: "So here's my facial injury. Playing with dog on bed. Dog jumps up to grab toy. Mrs. Toy bites my face... Surgery takes two hours. Left with a scar that looks metal."
  (Matthew reads, 04:43–05:21)

Flat Earth & Conspiracy Nonsense (06:37)

• Listener Cat shares: “When I was 15, I knew a guy who didn’t believe in other planets because he couldn’t see them in the night sky. He thought the government had made them up. Weirdly, he believed in the moon landing, but Uranus was too fantastical for him.” (06:47)
• The team riff on conspiracy theories, including “Australia isn’t real” and “Birds aren’t real” (07:13–07:40).

The Ritual of Metal Education (07:53)

• Discussion about the recurring feature, "Penis Fly Trap," and euphemisms relating to heavy metal.

3. Main Comedy Arc: Moving House Nightmares

Ed’s Personal Hell

• Ed: “I am moving house this week, Matthew. That’s right, yeah. So I described my life as a living hell actually.” (11:13)
• The despair of boxing belongings, fantasizing about burning it all, or running away: "the best option feels like burning the house down with all the stuff in it." (11:35)
• Discussion of artist Michael Landy destroying all possessions as a fantasy escape from moving stress (12:02).

Rubbish Logistics

• Vin: “When you’re moving, where do you put all the rubbish?” (14:17)
• Banter about not having a car while owning two houses, hiring “a big boy” (i.e., man in a van) to throw out rubbish, and how to dispose of knives (“give them to the police station”—to which Vin says, “Sorry, I've got enough on. I'm not going to the police station with a cleaver and a knife.” 16:28)

Pets and Boxes

• Joking about Vin’s cat jumping into boxes possibly getting moved by mistake; struggles figuring out how to move kitchen knives (15:45–16:16).

Listener Moving Disasters

• Black gunk stories and speculations on striking oil (23:33).
• The futility of moving junk ("when we moved last, Matthew, did the movers do the packing for you?... they wrapped all the spices in bubble wrap" 24:28).
• The bizarre things moving companies refuse to pack (toilet brushes).
• Humiliation at letting strangers pack your spices and possessions—Matthew: “I loved unpacking all the spices out of bubble wrap. I thought that was great fun.” (29:05)

4. “Puzzle Kings” & Reflections on Aging

• Ed and Matthew bond over daily puzzle games like Strand and Wordle, joking about becoming “two old men in a home" jabbering over breakfast (10:15–11:08).
• Reference to Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks’ late-in-life friendship as an aspiration for their own old age.

5. Trousers and Clothing Struggles

• Major "Matthew’s Big Thing" segment: the saga of washing jeans, ruining them, and the humiliation of shopping for trousers as a shorter man (41:38–43:51).
• “I got kicked out of the Levi’s store for being too small.” (43:18)
• Offer from “Little Lou” to loan trousers to Matthew. “No one makes jeans for freaks.” (45:26–45:41)

6. Additional Listener Stories

• Removal company cancelling, forcing elderly parents to help with heavy lifting (26:43).
• The trauma of putting things into storage units: “Imagine the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark but it’s all divorce themed.” (27:17)
• Delivery mix-up: Mattress cover arrives, but it’s labeled “Adult Toy Sex Fun Doll” (30:16).
• Moving in to find previous residents still living there, who then fry their tropical fish while moving (32:43).
• Drunk movers (33:10), forgotten “secret drawers,” and odd mail (porn catalogues).
• Forces dad pranking new tenants with junk mail subscriptions (35:05).

7. Embracing the Chaos

• Hosts try to find solace in listener horror stories, encourage people to keep sending in tales—showing camaraderie in shared misery.
• Running meta-commentary on "weird energy" in the studio (50:10), with Vin and Matthew insisting it’s just the right energy for their show.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Moving Hell:

  • Ed: “...the best option feels like burning the house down with all the stuff in it.” (11:35)
  • Matthew: “There was an artist called Michael Landy...he shredded everything he owned...I think about that often. Like, the idea of shredding my entire life.” (12:02)

• On Packing Rubbish:

  • Vin: “How have you managed to get two houses and no car?” (14:44)
  • Matthew: “That’s the other thing. Get a big boy to do it.” (15:22)
  • Matthew: “Go to the police station. Say, look, I’m handing in these knives and this cleaver. Can I borrow your car?” (16:36)

• On Listener’s Facial Injury:

  • Matthew (reading): “Sitting in A&E with my cheek in a plastic bag to be sewn back on. Reattached under local anaesthetic. Surgery takes two hours. Left with a scar that looks metal.” (05:07)

• On Puzzle Games and Aging:

  • Matthew: “We are going to be such good fun in the old people’s home, you and I... talking about the games we talked about the day before.” (10:33)

• On Trousers Fiasco:

  • Matthew: “I got kicked out of the Levi’s store for being too small.” (43:32)
  • Vin: “No one makes jeans for freaks.” (45:40)

• On Strange Deliveries:

  • Matthew: “It was a black box saying ‘Adult Toy Sex Fun Doll.’ We looked at the parcel, and it wasn’t in our name. Someone had ordered a bit of fun but received a mattress cover.” (30:52)

• On Conspiracies:

  • Matthew: “I’ve heard about that movement—people believe birds aren’t real. Yeah, but ‘Australia isn’t real’...” (07:13)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Uniqlo thermals & Secret Cinema: 00:26–01:57
• Grayson Perry name confusion: 02:38–03:06
• Listener Ken’s facial injury: 04:46–05:21
• Flat Earth, Conspiracy Theories: 06:37–07:40
• Puzzle Kings Segment: 10:15–11:08
• Ed’s Moving Nightmare: 11:13–13:13
• Packing and Rubbish Logistics: 14:17–16:16
• Packing Spices, “Big Boy” Talk: 24:28–29:05
• Matthew's Trouser Shopping Crisis: 41:38–43:51
• Listener: removal disaster & storage units: 26:43–27:34
• Mattress cover/sex doll mix-up story: 30:16–31:38
• Tropical fish electrocution moving story: 32:43–33:09
• Offer to loan trousers to Matthew: 45:26

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Tone and Style

• Warm, frenetically witty, and loaded with deadpan self-deprecation.
• The interactions are packed with playful teasing, surreal images, and absurd riffing.
• Listeners are continually invited into the chaos, celebrated for their disastrous, embarrassing, or outright strange stories.

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Final Notes & Listener Engagement

• The show ends with a thank-you and encouragement to send in stories for upcoming topics: “things you’ve stolen”, “raise your glasses” (glasses/contact lenses injuries), and “silly disasters”.
• Ed and Matthew make their characteristic plea for more audience interaction, promising to keep the community spirit and erratic energy alive in the next episode.

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If you missed the episode, this summary will keep you completely in the loop—aforementioned weird energies and all.

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Notable for fans: Recurring jokes about trousers, the woes of moving, and the increasingly elaborate lengths Matthew and Ed go to avoid real-life responsibilities while offering cathartic, ridiculous companionship every Sunday morning.

Transcript

[Matthew Crosby]

This is a Global Player original podcast.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the. Hi. How are you doing?

[Vin]

Good, man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Welcome to the podcast of the radio show that Ed and I do on the radio on a Sunday morning on

[Vin]

Radio X. Yeah, sorry, I was just checking.

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you looking at?

[Vin]

What are you doing? I was checking the text to see if any texts had come in with Moving House Nightmares.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, not so far. We'll keep punting out for it.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got a story I haven't told you yet, which I'll tell on the air, so that's got to.

[Vin]

Well, Matthew's big thing.

[Producer]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've not. It's not my big thing. I've got a story about moving house I don't want to make.

[Vin]

And have you got a big thing?

[Matthew Crosby]

Have I got a big thing this week?

[Vin]

Yeah. Well, you're best when you're cornered, so I think we'll introduce the big thing anyway and I think you'll come up with something.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'll come up with something for sure. I mean, I'm sitting. I'm. I'm living life. I've had seven days since we last did this show, so I'm sure something life.

[Vin]

Well, that's not a big thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

I am living life, though. I'm living life to the max.

[Vin]

Vin, I like your T shirt today.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you.

[Producer]

It's from Uniqlo. Yeah, all my stuff's from.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course it is. I love Uniqlo. It's a great. It's. It's such a. It's such a nice shop. Isn't really, is. It really is. The staff are nice. I love the 10% discount you get with having the app and.

[Vin]

Hang on.

[Producer]

What?

[Vin]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

You get a 10% discount just for having the app?

[Producer]

There's an app?

[Matthew Crosby]

You ain't got the Uniqlo app.

[Vin]

They do good thermals.

[Matthew Crosby]

They do good thermals. Yeah.

[Vin]

I love their thermals. I'll buy the thermals for going on holiday to a cold place, not need them and then just bring them home again.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. Very transportable. They're thermals.

[Vin]

I've got some really good thermals from my American tour that I never used.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I've never. The only time I ever wore thermals was when I did Secret Cinema and it was Shawshank. And they asked you to wear thermals because they stripped you at the start.

[Vin]

Ah, yeah, lovely.

[Matthew Crosby]

And someone didn't wear thermals and then they made him. They made him strut around in his. In his little pants in his knick knocks. Yeah, yeah. He loved it. He was delighted. Yeah.

[Vin]

He deliberately didn't wear the tremendous physique, this boy.

[Matthew Crosby]

He had. Absolutely fantastic. Anyway. Yes. Oh, that remind. Actually, do you know what? I think I might have a big thing now, so. Yeah, we will have a big thing. We had a message in.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great, great. Good stuff. Right, we've had some message in from. From our listeners if you want to get in touch Sunday at radiox.co.uk. this is from Paul. Who do I not know how many they is?

[Vin]

Who? Do I not know how many they is?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, okay. It'll make sense in a second.

[Vin]

Yeah, I don't think it will, but carry on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Grayson Perry.

[Vin]

How do I not know how many they.

[Matthew Crosby]

For ages I thought it was a duo, like Grace and Frankie Netflix, Gray's and Perry. Grace and Perry.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Producer]

Go large.

[Matthew Crosby]

Grace and Perry go large. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So Grace and Perry, for ages I thought was a duo of some kind.

[Vin]

How many do you think? That can't be a regular feature. I don't think anyone else has got that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Does anybody else think that either? Did anybody. Did any think that either? A duo is actually one person?

[Vin]

Yeah, Anton Deck.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Anton Deck. As he is whenever he goes on a cruise. Yeah. Anton Dudek. Or did you ever think that one person was several people?

[Vin]

Yes.

[Producer]

Oh, we've got loads of texts now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's good.

[Vin]

That's good.

[Matthew Crosby]

So there will be a show. I won't have to do my big thing.

[Vin]

Yes, we're doing your big thing. Big thing an hour.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from Ken, who is Noel Gallagher Lookalike for a day. Do you remember Ken Cheng? It's not Ken Cheng. No, no. But he does say, P.S. long live Mick Chen. So, you know, there's a similarity there.

[Vin]

If it turns out that he's so obscure. If it turns out that Ken Chang is Mick Chang's. Ken Chang's a brilliant comedian.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's fantastic.

[Vin]

Professional poker player.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, he's great. You may have seen his. Now, this is going to sound crap when I say out loud, but you may have seen his LinkedIn posts. He does very, very funny. Yeah, he's. He's LinkedIn's premier comedian. I'd say he's really good. So our friend Ken writes, dearest dishy, fishy and swishy. All right. Okay, okay. Who do you. Who's.

[Vin]

Who then must be swishy and I'm fishy. Not necessarily.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. This. That's what I'm asking.

[Vin]

I'm fishy sometimes you are a little fishy. I love to swim. I smell of salmon.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love to swish, though.

[Producer]

Oh, this coffee tastes of washing up liquid.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no. What did you.

[Vin]

Did you put washing up liquid in it?

[Producer]

That's my mistake.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. He says, happy radio, lads.

[Vin]

Don't mind if I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't wear glasses or contacts, but I do have a head that I wear a face on. So here's my facial injury.

[Vin]

Playing with the face is the head.

[Matthew Crosby]

The face is the head. We've talked about this before. The face is the head. Playing with dog on bed. Dog jumps up to grab toy. Mrs. Toy bites my face. Gravity takes effect. My cheek goes with him.

[Vin]

Oh, my God.

[Matthew Crosby]

I knew you'd like this one. Sitting in A E with my cheek in a plastic bag to be sewn back on. Reattached under local anesthetic. Surgery takes two hours. Left with a scar that looks metal.

[Vin]

AF dog destroyed.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know. Question mark doesn't say it can get back in touch.

[Producer]

Big statue of dog.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think big statue of dog had a great time in hospital. Harlot was sitting in a chair and trying to eat a mashed potato after the meds rounds. Feeling like my legs were in space after a new nurse gave me a double dose of morphine. Does sound fun, doesn't it?

[Vin]

But apart having your cheek ripped off by your dog, just.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I don't think it's a trade off on the double dose of morphine.

[Vin]

Sure.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sounds delicious.

[Vin]

XL bully.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, I haven't said love, Ken.

[Vin]

I'm worried about.

[Producer]

It could be tiny little dog.

[Vin]

The little bullies. What about M. The M bullies.

[Matthew Crosby]

The M bullies. The excess bullies.

[Vin]

The excess bullies. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

When I go to Uniqlo. Yeah. I'm a little excess bully.

[Producer]

Stretch skinny bullies.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly.

[Producer]

It could be a little tiny dog and then that's the dog's. You know, I'm imagining the dog's midair.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Producer]

And then the dog, the tiny dog is then falling, hurtling towards the ground, taking the chick with it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. I don't. I mean, you know, the dog didn't do it, didn't mean any harm. I don't think it's a violent dog. It was trying to play with a toy.

[Producer]

Of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, yes. Do get back in touch and tell us that the dog is all right. We're very worried. Finally.

[Vin]

Couldn't give an F about you.

[Producer]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Finally. From dogs to cats. This is from cat who says Dear EDS to Bunny Santa Croz and Vin the bleak midwinter. Happy radio, lads.

[Vin]

Don't mind if I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

I forget why you were talking about flat Earth stuff.

[Vin]

Just cause that's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, just cause it's the truth.

[Vin]

Ye.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hey, yeah, happy to preach the truth,

[Vin]

especially on the podcast. It's probably a podcast you're listening to,

[Matthew Crosby]

but here's something it reminded me of when I was 15. I knew a guy who didn't believe in other planets because he couldn't see them in the night sky. He thought the government had made them up. Weirdly, he believed in the moon landing, but Uranus was too fantastical for him.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

How about you guys? Do you believe in Uranus even though you can't see it? Much love, cats.

[Vin]

Oh, okay, thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's tricked us into that.

[Vin]

I watched some YouTube videos a couple of years ago about conspiracy theory that Australia isn't real.

[Matthew Crosby]

Australia isn't real. I've heard about the movement that people believe birds aren't real. Yeah, but Australia isn't real. So what is.

[Vin]

What is it that we're flying to a different country and it's all mocked up because one of the arguments is animals. The animals are weird.

[Matthew Crosby]

The animals are weird. But also. But all right, so if you're flying. So they're saying you're flying to like, what, like a bit of America?

[Vin]

I think some people believe you're flying to New Zealand.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, what if.

[Vin]

I don't know.

[Matthew Crosby]

But also New Zealand's much smaller. How are you going. Going to put fit in Australia anyway? P S. I somehow didn't realize every metal education had to begin with penis, fly trap. How have you missed that?

[Vin]

Have you missed that?

[Matthew Crosby]

I can only assume that's why you didn't use mine on period euphemisms, but never.

[Vin]

Well, I didn't see that one.

[Matthew Crosby]

That sounds like a good one.

[Vin]

I definitely would have done that. By the way, Finn, find the one on period euphemism.

[Producer]

It will be in. It'll be in the document.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's from cat. Can we find that? Because we've got a couple of pre records we have.

[Producer]

Yeah, we could do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got a couple of pre records coming up. In fact, quite a few pre records. So cats, period euphemism one. We'll do that. There you go, Kat. Right, shall we crack on with the. With the show properly?

[Vin]

Yes, please, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let people listen to it. Enjoy it, everybody.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Ray D O X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Welcome to the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show on Radio X. The Bleeding edge of the manosphere. That's right. Ed and I have made the pivot to where the real money is. The grind set. And I'm not talking about what I do in my sleep. That means I have to wear a plastic mouth guard. It's 8am and if you're anything like us, you've already been up since 2. Hitting the gym, praying and popping supplements that give you a woody on today's show looks maxing. How do we look so good? With Ed, it's genetics. With Matthew, it's his up to date prescription from Specsavers. Later, we'll be teaching you our three step plan to become an elite human being. Step one is invest in Ed's crypto coin. Step two is invest in Matthew's crypto coin. And step three is build one of those Iron man suits so you can fly and punch through walls and stuff. We've got a whole host of brand new features, most of which we got in turkey. Love that bbl, Vin. This is the first day of the rest of your lives. Today you stop scrolling, simping and settling, get out of the cuck chair and start leveling up. You might need to take some supplements to help with that. And finally, can the last elite human being standing in this wimpy little world leave before the lights come on?

[Vin]

Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Vin]

Radio X. You, you, you ought to know, dear old Alanis there. You ought to know. And you ought to know that you're listening to Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. And you ought to know that we're with you until 11:00am, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, indeed. Little bit annoyed that the song has come to an end. A, because I love the song and B because we were talking about our puzzle games and was about to play a puzzle game.

[Vin]

Yes, we are the puzzle kings. We talk about our puzzle games.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're two old men.

[Vin]

We talked about our puzzle games last week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Have you done your puzzle games today?

[Vin]

I haven't yet. You asked me if I play Strands.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, which we talked about last week.

[Vin]

Which we talked about last week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's right. You do play Strands. It's a good one, isn't it? Strands.

[Vin]

We are going to be such good fun in the old people's home, you and I. Little breakfast, little coffee, talking about the games that we talked about the day before.

[Matthew Crosby]

Having the same conversation over and over again.

[Vin]

Fantastic.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you ever see. You know, obviously he's passed now, but Carl Reiner used to have dinner every day with Mel Brooks. Yes. And they would sit There and they would watch an old movie and they would just jibber jabber at each other. That's, I mean, that's the dream. Do we have to get to 90 to do that? Could we not just start doing that now?

[Vin]

Unfortunately, we wouldn't concentrate on the old movie because we'd both be doing our

[Matthew Crosby]

wordle, doing our special puzzle games. Yeah. How are you doing, Ed? What's going on in your life?

[Vin]

I am moving house this week, Matthew. That's right, yeah. So I described my life as a living hell actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a nightmare.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cause you know, here's the thing, you had a house.

[Vin]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

But no, no, no, no, no. You weren't happy with that. You had to have a different house,

[Vin]

go different house and move all the stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the worst bit of it.

[Vin]

Well, that's what's happening at the moment. It's a lot of boxing up at the moment, Matthew. And let me tell you, I'm at the stage, which I'm assuming everyone gets to in moving house, where the best option feels like burning the house down with all the stuff in it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep, that's right. And yourself in it.

[Vin]

And then, and, and, well, just starting again. Maybe changing my name. Yes, maybe just, I mean, just walking onto the motorway, to be honest, I

[Matthew Crosby]

find there was an artist called Michael Landy and I'm obsessed with this artwork. He shredded everything he owned. He shredded everything he owned. It's an amazing artist. And he was part of the young British artist. So he had priceless works of art and people were contacting him going, oh, you know, you're shredding everything you own. Do you mind not shredding my artwork? He's like, no, I'm doing the lot. Shredded his passport, shredded everything. Shredded everything he owned. And I think about that all fits like the idea of shredding my entire life.

[Vin]

Well, my current fantasy while unpacking boxes is that we find a forklift that is strong enough and big enough to pick up the whole house. We open the front door and then we just tip it all into a skip.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, great. I thought you were gonna say pick up the whole house, put it on a flatbed truck and drive it to the new location. But you don't want that.

[Vin]

No. Cause we've not, we've bought a house rather than other. You haven't brought a plot that would be useless to us then. That would be plopping an old house on top of a new house. Mega house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. You could live in a big old

[Vin]

tower block that you've Made mega house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have a mega house.

[Vin]

Let the cat live in the old house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Listen, this could still happen. Don't shred the cat.

[Vin]

No, I'm not going to shred the

[Matthew Crosby]

cat, but this could. This could still happen. Right?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

All you need is a flatbed truck. Yeah, the idea of flatbed truck with a. With a. A house on it, very exciting. You could still be in. Obviously what you want is the truck's going down the motorway and then you lean out the window with a cup of tea and that wave of people going past.

[Vin]

Well, they were the original caravans.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. Yeah, exactly. Oh, the other thing that flat I think of when I think of flatbed trucks is.

[Vin]

Oh, yeah, that's what I asked.

[Matthew Crosby]

Didn't it seem like. Yes, I know, yes. While we're on the topic that I brought up, every. Like every rock band in the 80s and 90s had at least one video where they were on a flatbed truck going down the roadway, rocking out, hair

[Vin]

blown in the wind.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hair blown in the wind. Exactly. You don't see enough of that anymore.

[Vin]

Well, maybe that's my next special

[Matthew Crosby]

flatbed truck.

[Vin]

Flatbed truck.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're doing fresh hell on a flatbed truck. Oh, my goodness.

[Vin]

We just pull into the middle of the town, I do the show and then we go again. And I'm strapped. My feet are strapped down top speed down the motorway.

[Matthew Crosby]

I really enjoy that crunch and crumble.

[Ed Gamble]

This is Radio X.

[Vin]

When you're moving, where do you put all the rubbish?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because we packed it. I told you this before. We packed our rubbish.

[Vin]

But then where'd you put it then?

[Matthew Crosby]

We threw it away when we got to the next house.

[Vin]

But how do you throw it away? Because bins are only so big.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, then. Well, then you get bin bags and you fill your garage with bin bags and you take them all to the tip.

[Vin]

Yeah, but I don't have a car.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ah, okay, right. Well, you need a car. How have you managed to get two houses and no car?

[Vin]

Well, I don't need a car until now. Until I get rid of the car. You only need a car when you need it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Which is now you need a car. I tell you what, you hire. You hire a car or a little van or something. Oh, hire a little van.

[Vin]

I would crash the little van immediately.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, that's okay, isn't it?

[Vin]

No fun then. I've got more rubbish to deal with. I have to get a van to take the van to the tip.

[Matthew Crosby]

Get. Get a. Get a little car. Hire a little car.

[Vin]

I'VE been thinking about this, but why

[Matthew Crosby]

do you not want to hire a car?

[Vin]

Why do you not want to hire a car?

[Matthew Crosby]

I do want to hire a car. I'll hire a car to help you move.

[Vin]

No, it's all right. We've booked a man in a van to come and take the rubbish away.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the other thing. Get a big boy to do it.

[Vin]

Yeah, I've got a big boy coming to do it.

[Matthew Crosby]

We had a big boy come and clear out our shed this week.

[Vin]

Yeah. How much did he cost you?

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm not gonna say, but it was lots of money. Did you just find a way forward to move?

[Vin]

Did you just Google it and then click the top Google result?

[Matthew Crosby]

No. Listen, listen. Tell us why your cat's annoying. Let's get back to that topic.

[Vin]

Well, he's obviously confused because there's loads of boxes. He keeps jumping in all the boxes. It is gonna end up with him being moved in one of the boxes.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's all right, though.

[Vin]

No, it's not all right. He's gonna choke or something.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you not think, like, you know, open up the box and he leaps out? That's quite good fun.

[Vin]

It is good fun if he leaps out. If he doesn't leap out, it's the opposite of fun. That's true also. He's just. Cause the kitchen shelves are clear now. Apart from the knives. Cause I don't know how you move knives.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, there's certain bits which are a bit dangerous to move.

[Vin]

How do you throw knives away is my other question. Because there's knives we don't use.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know how you throw a knife. Yeah, it's had a person on a big sort of circle spinning round. But I don't know how you throw.

[Vin]

Yeah, but I've packed the big circle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I know how you throw knives away. Give them to the police station.

[Vin]

I'm not doing that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why don't you give them to the police station? That's.

[Vin]

Sorry, I've got enough on. I'm not going to the police station with a cleaver and a knife.

[Matthew Crosby]

Look, go to the police station.

[Vin]

I never use that cleaver.

[Matthew Crosby]

Go to the police station. Say, look, I'm handing in these knives and this cleaver. Can I borrow your car?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Scoop Daddy and goujon mustard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X,

[Vin]

Sam Fender on Radio X. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby here until 11:00am Now, Matthew, I saw a video of Sam Fender the other day.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you?

[Vin]

Isn't he a funny boy?

[Matthew Crosby]

How do you mean? Was he doing some gags Yeah, I just.

[Vin]

He just seems like a good vibe.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, he has. Well, we know that from when he recorded that. Fantastic.

[Vin]

No, he sounded really annoyed when he recorded that for us, to be fair.

[Matthew Crosby]

But he does it in a funny way.

[Vin]

He seems fun and I liked him and I'm just being genuine there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right, that's good. What was he doing in this video that's made you think? Oh, that's my. That's my.

[Vin]

He was doing the thing where they get a musician and then they play them the beginning of the song and they have to guess what the song is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great. What song were they playing him?

[Vin]

Loads of songs. Have you not seen these?

[Producer]

One of them was the replacement.

[Vin]

One of them was the replacement.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love the replacement.

[Vin]

Yeah, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you stood out in the streets.

[Vin]

No, I'm not.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's that?

[Vin]

I'm not.

[Matthew Crosby]

They haven't done it to you?

[Vin]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. Oh, so you're talking about Sam Fender. Yeah. So Sam Fender stood out in the street. He's got a set of headphones on and they're playing him a little bit of, um.

[Vin]

Bop. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And he's going, well, no, it was all.

[Vin]

It's a bit. It's a bit of a trick when they do it with musicians because it is all stuff that they definitely would know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

So it's stuff that's clearly because also. So it's like Tom Petty and what

[Matthew Crosby]

was the point otherwise?

[Producer]

Yeah, the first one was Tom Petty. Yeah. And he says, I've ripped him off a lot.

[Matthew Crosby]

He has, yeah. It's very true.

[Producer]

So he's gonna know that, isn't he?

[Matthew Crosby]

The next one was Bruce Springsteen. He said. Yeah. Ripped him off as well. Yeah, yeah.

[Vin]

They didn't actually play many Springsteen.

[Matthew Crosby]

They didn't play many Springsteen. That's an open goal with a Fender, surely.

[Vin]

Anyway, all I'm saying, we had to

[Producer]

cut that out because he actually doesn't know any Bruce Springs. It's really embarrassing.

[Matthew Crosby]

This guy's amazing.

[Vin]

All I'm saying is he seems like a laugh.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I bet he is a laugh.

[Vin]

So that's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. Well, listen, we make yet another plea. Fender bender. If you're listening, come on the show. Because you know what? At least two of us are a laugh. Yeah, well, one of us is definitely a laugh afterwards.

[Vin]

Depends. Come on for a pre. Record.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come on for a prereq. Yeah, exactly. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the Radio X heyday.

[Vin]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ed's got his headphones on. Ed, do you recognize that song, the Cranberries? It's the cranberries. Yeah. Tell us, tell us about the cranberries there. What do you love about the cranberries?

[Vin]

Oh, I'm always ripping them off.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. You're always ripping them off, Sam.

[Vin]

I'm always ripping them off. I'm always going around saying, do you have to let it linger?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

And do that when I'm. I'm cooking. When I'm cooking a. A slow cooked lamb. Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you have to let it linger?

[Vin]

Yes, you do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course you do.

[Vin]

And add cranberries. Do you have cranberries on your cranberries and lamb.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lamborghies, everybody, you heard it here. It could be the new Dubai chocolates. I mean, you know, we got to try these things.

[Vin]

What happened to Dubai chocolate?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, you know, what was it, the war? It took the sheen off Dubai.

[Vin]

Yeah, well, none of the Dubai chocolate can get through the strait of hormones, can it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Right. Whereas you do see HS Tikki Toky sort of going, listen, guys, a lot of people saying, Dubai chocolate's over. It's not. Look at it. Here it is. I'm eating some. It's absolutely lovely. Being not happy with this particularly. Doesn't love it. Doesn't love the riff. We're going down. Much more comfortable than we're talking about.

[Producer]

Lovely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Much more comfortable. We're talking about putting the cat in the box.

[Vin]

You know HS Tikitoki's catchphrase. It's absolutely lovely.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's absolutely lovely. I think it's absolutely lovely. Hello, I'm HS Tiki Toky. I'm having a wonderful time here in Dubai. I think it's absolutely lovely.

[Vin]

Double with my new friend, Louis Ferox.

[Matthew Crosby]

Louis Ferrox is over here. We'll pop him on the live stream. We'll say a few crazy things.

[Vin]

Happy for a pair in this game.

[Matthew Crosby]

The good game. Good game. Good game.

[Vin]

Not nice to see women. Not nice.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not nice to see this guy. We're going to beat him up on the street.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Vin]

Look at all the lovely nature outside. Oh, look at that. A lovely deer eating a berry off a branch. Oh, Mr. Hedgehog, Mrs. Hedgehog trooping across the fields. Look in the sky. Tis a buzzard. Oh, look at all the insect friends. Mr. Daddy Long Legs, Mrs. Mummy Short Legs on a day out with the other insects. Wolly wasp, billy bee, dear. Well, that one looks a bit sad. What's going on there? My goodness, that's a very sallow moth, Vin had to check that for swearing. Can you.

[Matthew Crosby]

How would you know how would you know? How would you know?

[Vin]

Well, I think it's an interesting radio debate.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it? If it's.

[Vin]

If.

[Matthew Crosby]

If they're swearing, being broadcast but you literally can't discern it, is it still

[Vin]

swearing you hear, or is it the intent?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because they're in their intent. Well, their intent, yeah, Forget about the swearing. Their intent is to make you have a really horrible time.

[Vin]

Well, that song's called Ice Gorger Gauntlets.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no, they should be in prison.

[Vin]

I messaged this one to Vin and he responded saying, oh, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no, it's. Oh, no, it's. Right, Vince, I'm with you on that.

[Producer]

That was very pretty lyrics, though, actually. No swearing in those lyrics.

[Vin]

They're about mountains.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I'll say. It's sort of like a bucolic scene.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, beautiful mask, you Crobley. And Radio Ed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X. I don't know. Well, then don't. Simple Sombra. You don't have to do it. By the way, who are all these people you're getting undressed for? Just stop doing it, keep your kecks

[Vin]

on and just keep it to yourself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Keep it to yourself, please. Sombra, I know you're blowing up on TikTok, but please keep it to yourself. It's Ed Gambler Matthew Crosby with you till 11am And I tell you what, Ed, the fact that you're moving has set the switchboards alight. We've had a message, one message in. James has got in touch to say, I moved house this weekend too. Turned out there were a load of black. Loads of patches of black gunk on the kitchen floor that to scrape up with a knife. That's really grim.

[Vin]

Lovely, really.

[Matthew Crosby]

Living in a sort of David Fincher world. Yeah, aren't you? If you're scraping up at what I'm hoping, you moved things out of the kitchen like we moved the fridge, and it turns out there was loads of black gunk and we had to scrape up.

[Vin]

Or just you suddenly noticed the black

[Matthew Crosby]

gun living in a spot.

[Vin]

You only notice the black gunk when you're leaving, don't you? We've not found any black gunk yet.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, here's the thing. Sometimes black gunk could be oil. You could be sitting on absolute fortune.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So, James, check what's on what you scraped up with.

[Vin]

An I. Lick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Give it a little lick, you could be the next Beverly Hillbillies.

[Vin]

That's how you test for. You rub it on your gums, don't

[Matthew Crosby]

you rub it into your gums. Check how pure the oil Is like a copper. Exactly.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know what that.

[Vin]

Like a copper in a show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Copper in a. One of the best bits of being a copper in a show is all the free drugs you get to have, isn't it? You cut it. Get in there with a knife.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Rub it, rub it on your gums. Yeah. You're solving crimes that day, aren't you?

[Vin]

When you moved last, Matthew, did you. Did the movers do the packing for you? They did, they did all of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Pretty much every. Every bit of it. Of course they won't take the toilet brush. You know that. They won't take the toilet brush. One of the things they won't, I guess, because why? They don't want to touch a toilet brush. It's disgusting.

[Vin]

Why? And why. Why are you taking toilet brush? Humor. Come and see my new show, Fresh Hell.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you got a toilet brush bit?

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah. It's the big bit, is it? Yeah. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I can't wait. I'm really excited.

[Vin]

Yes. Well, we're. I am too embarrassed to get them to pack everything because I've just heard stories about people arriving when people have packed stuff and they've wrapped all the spices in bubble wrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, they did all that?

[Vin]

Yeah. See, I don't want that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why do you not want that?

[Vin]

I find that hugely embarrassing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why is it embarrassing? You use spices in your house.

[Vin]

Yeah, I've actually got rid of a lot of spices. I've used this as an opportunity to really cut down on my spices. Really well, cuz you make a curry and.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

What are you talking about, Dan? It's not weird energy today.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Do you know what, you know who's got the weird.

[Vin]

This is the normal show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you know who's got the weird energy, Dan? You, mate. You've got the weird energy. Just let's do our radio show in peace.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X Dead Boy and Soupy Ghost

[Vin]

Nirvana Ed Gambler Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Well, if Nirvana ever moved house, they'd be using a heart shaped box.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely right. They would. I've got bad news about those guys. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of them's in the Food Fighters.

[Vin]

Yeah. So we're talking moving house. Yes, I'm moving house. So we've asked for your moving house nightmares and we've had some messages in.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Vin]

I've not pre read any of them so I'm just going to go for it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Well, this is the way you operate. You haven't seen your new house either, have you? No, no. You just like to jump and annette Will appear.

[Vin]

Ricky's calling.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, hello, Ricky. Ricky, please stop.

[Vin]

Every week. Every week, brother.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not Ricky from Ricky. Don't lose that number, is it?

[Vin]

I don't know what that is.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a steely dance song.

[Vin]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, we're here. 83936 on the text. Of course.

[Producer]

Did you think we'd get it?

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Vin]

He doesn't care. He doesn't care.

[Matthew Crosby]

Doesn't matter to me. That's never been my concern.

[Vin]

But you must have Fender like Steely Dan on that video.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, fantastic. I've not watched the end of that. I'm looking forward to it.

[Vin]

Morning, chaps. Not quite a moving house calamity, as I was leaving my flat and putting everything into storage before going traveling for 10 months. But on the day the removal company was supposed to come, they canceled my booking. Oh. This resulted in my parents, who are in their 70s, traveling from Northumberland to Wiltshire, hiring a van, and the three of us moving all of my possessions into a storage unit, including a washing machine and a fridge freezer. Fun. Good luck in your move. That's from Helen in Swindon. That sounds like a total nightmare.

[Matthew Crosby]

That sounds like a nightmare. Those.

[Vin]

Those story centers I once helped Nish move from a flat we were living

[Matthew Crosby]

in into a storage center.

[Vin]

Yeah, he lives in a storage center now. Put stuff in his storage center before he could then move into where he was going to. They're some of the most depressing places. You know the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? Yeah, imagine that. But it's all divorce themed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Yeah. I find them quite exciting.

[Vin]

Raiders of the Lost Love,

[Matthew Crosby]

Raider the Broken Heart. It's. I find them quite. I find them quite exciting. Do you know what? I've always been. And this is my. My wife and I bonded over this. I've always been obsessed.

[Vin]

Ricky, we're not picking up, brother.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ricky, don't lose that number. It's the only. Anyway, listen, my wife and I bonded over this. It's a good song, man. We should play it. No. Could you think we can get that away today?

[Producer]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Come on, Play, Stevie.

[Vin]

Daddy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Text the top.

[Vin]

Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

My wife and I, we bonded over a sort of mutual fascination with tiny. Like, tiny living spaces. Right.

[Ed Gamble]

Well.

[Vin]

Cause you're tiny.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're both tiny. Exactly. Yeah.

[Vin]

You could do one of those van life vlogs.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I would love that.

[Vin]

And you'd have so much room in the van.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'd be very smart Car. Yeah, I'd be very. I'd love to. You know, when I watched the lady in the van. You know, the Maggie Smith movie the other day. I thought, what a life she had.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Living in a van.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just all your stuff is there. It's so contained.

[Vin]

It's not sad at all.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not sad. It's not. Not sad at all. It's actually. It's a wonderful thing. My. My wife and I used to, both, independently of each other as children, walk through the park and, you know, you'd see the little park keeper's cottage and you'd think, well, he lives. It's not as he works. He lives in there.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And that's perfect.

[Vin]

That's perfect for you.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's all you need.

[Vin]

Because you. You and your wife could live on a barge.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I'd love to.

[Vin]

Because you'd have so much room because you're only small. And then your children could fit in the kettle and the biscuit barrel.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's what we keep from home anyway.

[Ed Gamble]

Captain Cowboy and the Raisin.

[Matthew Crosby]

You are, as a couple, people who like things. Don't you like little things?

[Vin]

Well, the guy came from the movers because they come around and have a look first. And he was like, stuff. He kept going, stuff. There's a lot of stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

Stuff.

[Vin]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

You have got stuff, haven't you? Yeah.

[Vin]

And then he went, well, so you want to do part packing? I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. He went, okay, so you're going to do some stuff and then we'll do the valuables. I'm like, yeah. And I'm now just going through the house really negotiating with myself what I consider to be valuable. And turns out it's everything.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

So because it's your stuff, they're doing all of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think they should do all of it. I absolutely think they should do. You know, I've got no crops. They packed everything. We just said, come in, pack everything up. We'll think about it when we move. I loved it. Well, it was great. And I liked unpacking all the spices out of bubble wrap. I thought that was great fun. Yeah, I think that's, you know.

[Vin]

Yeah, but you're an odd guy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby,

[Ed Gamble]

the Rock, Will Wax and Wayne Charlotte.

[Matthew Crosby]

She moved house and this is a phenomenal story. She sent us here. If you want to get in touch, by the way, 83936 on the text or you can WhatsApp us through Global Player. We moved two months ago and ordered a plastic mattress cover to transport it. I'm guessing the mattress went to the locker, got it home and opened It. And it was a black box saying, adult toy sex fun doll. We looked at. We looked at the parcel, and it wasn't in our name. Someone had ordered a bit of fun but received a mattress cover. And we were moving the next day with the Bloomin Sex doll. Funny story to share, but we had to cover our mattress with bed sheets.

[Vin]

In the end, someone's ordered. Is that the person who's moving in, do you think?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, do you think it's.

[Vin]

Who's gone? Oh, no. It's arriving a day earlier than I thought because I wanted to be there on the day I arrived.

[Matthew Crosby]

When I get there. Yeah.

[Vin]

Before I unpack the boxes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I will. I'm planning to christen.

[Vin]

That's the first thing I'll unpack.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna christen every room. Of course I am.

[Vin]

First thing I'm unpacking is the sex

[Matthew Crosby]

fun doll, I think. Do you know what? I've not ordered anything like this before on the Internet. But it shouldn't come in a more discreet box then. Adult toy sex fun doll. So just a little. Just a little.

[Vin]

That should be the box you get when you're ordering something really boring.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. To make it seem that you've got

[Vin]

a much more exciting life.

[Matthew Crosby]

But surely that can't be the. It can't say all of those words.

[Vin]

Tell you what I'm gonna miss in our house is the occasional black envelope that gets delivered to us addressed to someone who used to live in the house maybe four or five people ago, which is a catalogue for naughty videos.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it?

[Vin]

Yeah. And quite specific naughty videos as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's absolutely wild. Okay. We don't have to go too. Too deep into this, but that's what an analogue way of.

[Vin]

None of them have chav in the title.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Vin]

All right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe let's maybe just move on completely from it.

[Vin]

That's a thing that people like, apparently.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, yes. If Vin's doing the hand gesture, keep going, please. I don't think that's what that hand gesture means. It might mean that's the. That's the end of the show.

[Vin]

Ah, okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Should we play some Green Day now so we could all have a little browse through the catalog? This is time of your life and I hope you have the time of your life. This is Green Day on Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Buck fifengizzard. Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from Stephen, who says, when we moved into our house, the agent gave us the keys, but when we went round, the people were still there. Oh, no, that couldn't have Gone worse.

[Vin]

What a nightmare.

[Matthew Crosby]

They had a huge tank full of tropical fish. Oh, no, this is sad. Which they then proceeded to accidentally electrocute while trying to angrily and hastily dismantle and pack. He says karma, but I mean, karma against who? It's the estate agent's fault, isn't it?

[Vin]

It's a bad organization.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you, Stephen.

[Vin]

This is from an anonymous texter. Buyers of our old flat failed to pay on the day we found out at 4pm and the movers had to move all our stuff back to the old place. Only they'd clearly been sat in the pub from 11 till 4 while they were waiting, so were blottoed and keen to finish for the day. It was a Friday. Watching them try to be drunk. Drunk smart. Putting the drunkest guy furthest away from us. Despairing and hilarious at the same time. They didn't break anything though. That's drunk movers.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, I don't. That's not on the movers. Yeah, they clocked off for the day.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're allowed to go at the pub. Oh, awful. Nothing worse than getting a phone call when you're. Has that ever happened? Have you ever had that where you've been like you've forgotten you've got a gig and you're in the pub.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And you're like, oh no, now I've. Now I'm like four pints in and I've got to go and do a gig. It's horrid.

[Vin]

It's a horrible feeling.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

And you feel so unprofessional.

[Matthew Crosby]

Feels so unprofessional. You're showing up late and you're showing up late and drunk. Really, really bad stuff. Keep Those coming in 83936 on the texter. Of course you can WhatsApp us through the global player. When we moved house few house moves ago, I remembered that I'd actually left a whole drawer full of stuff in the house.

[Vin]

Oh no, your secret drawer.

[Matthew Crosby]

My secret drawer. My secret special.

[Vin]

Not your man drawer.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a good McIntyre.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Vin]

Interestingly, the guys moving us said I've seen you on Live at the Apollo. I went, okay, he went. I moved Michael McIntyre once.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did you?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

What did you do to him to move him?

[Vin]

No, he said that. Why would I say that?

[Matthew Crosby]

I know he said that. I'm so reply. I'm saying what did you.

[Vin]

My response would be so you were talking to me as if I was him.

[Producer]

This is chemistry.

[Vin]

Do you have any idea how conversations.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, but no is the answer. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Every wall's a fart wall in this studio.

[Vin]

Anonymous texter. My dad was in the forces. Every time we moved house, he would sign up for all the free leaflets and brochures, leaving the new tenants with a stream of junk mail and thank you for your service.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you for your service. Service. Oh, that's. That's. That's mean. Yeah, that's mean, isn't it?

[Vin]

It's quite funny. But also it's annoying, I guess you're.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you're in the forces, are you living in barracks all the time? I mean, is he just moving?

[Vin]

They would just move around a lot, I think.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just have to move around because just. You've got to be a moving target, haven't you? Harder to hit. Is that the reason why you constantly got to be moving out so this in case there are snipers on the roof? Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

[Vin]

I think he really understands the army, me and Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, yes, yes. I think you could. I think you could be in the army.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, I think you've got something about you. I think people would. Officer, of course. Officer class. Yeah, of course. Straight through officer. You've got, you know, you've got the cut glass vowels, you've got the chiseled jawline. I think you, you would inspire people to go out and, you know, serve the country.

[Vin]

I think I'd be. I'd unite the. All of the soldiers because they'd all talk really horrible stuff about.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's right, that's right. Yeah. I'd also, I think I'm more of a sort of private pile kind of guy. You know, I would be in my bunk late at night and everyone would have filled a pillowcase with soaps.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And they would beat me unmercifully while I slept.

[Vin]

And then you'd shoot yourself in the mouth.

[Matthew Crosby]

Then I would shoot myself.

[Vin]

And that's not even the end of the film.

[Matthew Crosby]

Imagine that being wild.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've still got more to go.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, it's an absolutely wonderful big bet.

[Vin]

Come back to the life. And you'd want sugar water like a bee. So it's quite a specific reference to Vincent d' Onofrio's career.

[Matthew Crosby]

All right. I don't remember that bit.

[Vin]

He was in Men in Black and he wanted sugar water.

[Matthew Crosby]

Did want sugar water as well. Anyway, weird energy, insulation. Radio X. Radio.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Gorillaz.

[Vin]

Just having a bit of fun in the studio. Having a lovely time I'm thinking this is what's happening in the Gorillaz studio when they're recording that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, right.

[Vin]

Damon went, I'm thinking something like this. And someone went. Sneakily recorded it. And that's how you make a hit.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, exactly. Your first thought. That's your best thought.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just give it a little. There's not enough whistling on modern pop songs. It used to be on loads of songs back then.

[Vin]

Well, it's all AI now, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, this is the reason why One man and His Dog's no longer on the television, because it's all been replaced by.

[Producer]

AI can't whistle. You heard it here first.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. I bet you AI can whistle.

[Producer]

Hey, I can't whistle, man.

[Vin]

I can't whistle.

[Producer]

They haven't worked it out.

[Matthew Crosby]

I bet you if I.

[Vin]

And that's what makes us human.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the only. So that will be the. That we. That's the bit in the movie, isn't it?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Producer]

Also, I can't whistle.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can you not?

[Vin]

Vinz. AI, imagine if Finn was AI very early.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. A beta.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You'd be an AI.

[Producer]

I am a beater.

[Matthew Crosby]

You are a beat. You're a beater cuck, aren't you? You're the beat. A cuck bot. Quite a bit of fun.

[Producer]

I am.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a bit. It's too late in the show to give you a brand new nickname, but I think we can do it. It's the Beast. And over on the Ones and Twos, it's the Beta Cup. I think AI can whistle and I'm going to prove it.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

By asking AI to whistle in the next link. So that's something to look forward to, isn't it?

[Vin]

We're not using AI.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's that? You refuse. You refuse to use it. Because of the water.

[Vin]

Because of the water. Because this is, you know, this is a creative show.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is a creative show. Yeah. Yeah. I think we might need.

[Vin]

It's a slippery slope, genuinely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Would you. Would you never use it for. Would you never use it for anything?

[Vin]

No. And I hate it when you Google something and it gives you the AI overview.

[Matthew Crosby]

But how else are you going to see fruit make love to each other?

[Vin]

I do that at home, the old fashioned way, Matthew. Just get practical effects. I get an apple, I get a banana, I smash them all together.

[Producer]

That'll get the dirt off.

[Vin]

Yeah, absolutely. And then I. Then I eat it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that's the. That. That is the great tragedy of those. The Fruit Love Island.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is I just Spend all the time licking the screen Spend all the time licking my iPhone.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X, Matthew Crosby and Edward.

[Vin]

Matthew, huge moment coming up, is it? You've told me that you have something you want to say, so of course that means it's time for our regular section, Matthew's Big Thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, indeed. It's my big thing, everybody. And I'm happy to introduce my big thing to the nation. This week was yet another embarrassing incident when trying to buy trousers. Yes, yes.

[Vin]

Another in my Matthew's Life is a 70s sitcom.

[Matthew Crosby]

Me and trousers just don't get along.

[Vin]

Next week. Next week Matthew's boss is coming over for dinner.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. Next week I'm gonna. Next week I've got. I've got to move a bed and it's gonna fall, it's gonna go down a hill and I'm gonna go on roller skates. That's how it's gonna be. But, yeah, I.

[Producer]

So, so sorry, hang on, Matthew, one second.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

My goodness, my trousers. Yes, I guess it is another. It's another edition of My Goodness, My Trousers. Of course it is. Of course it is. So I washed a pair of my jeans recently and shouldn't have done that. Well, I know, I know, Ed, honestly, from your lips to God's ears, because they absolutely reek now.

[Vin]

They reek.

[Matthew Crosby]

They reek.

[Vin]

What did you wash them in? Lamb fat?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I like the smell of lamb fat.

[Producer]

Yeah, stick some cranberries on that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Every time I have to run for a bus, it feels like I'm having a roast. I love that. Absolutely wonderful. No, it wasn't. It wasn't lamb fat. I just washed him in the conventional, you know, with a conventional detergent in a washing machine.

[Vin]

Just them or with other stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

With. With other stuff. But it's only the jeans that stank. Right, right. But I was. I don't know. I don't know how that happened.

[Vin]

But anyway, you didn't leave Stilton in the pockets again, did you?

[Matthew Crosby]

I never leave Stilton in the pockets for very long. No way. That's one of the great things about washing your trousers. Getting all this. Getting all this tray, bits of Stilton, having a little munch next to the laundry basket. No, I didn't. I don't know what happened to it, but I was. I was. They were drying on the. On the old. On the old dryer, and I walked past, I thought, whoa. Yeah, something's really pongy here.

[Vin]

Yeah. What sort of smell?

[Matthew Crosby]

Just dank.

[Vin]

Dank?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's just a dank Smell.

[Vin]

And not in the cool new way.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, not like the memes I send you. No, dank. Dank in the sense of a basement.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, and it was largely around the crotchular area, I'd say so. Very dank, very dank. Pungent crotch on my, on my lovely stonewashed jeans. And a real shame because I'd only had them for about four years and I only wore them every single day of my life. So I don't know what, I don't know what went wrong. Anyway, right, they're out of the mix. So now I've got the jeans I'm wearing. Now I'm a black jeans. I've got two pairs of trousers.

[Vin]

Mad.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I thought, right, this situation can't carry on. You've been telling me for years, get yourself more trousers. So I took myself to the, the shopping center.

[Vin]

I see myself as the Gokuan of this.

[Matthew Crosby]

You simply can't just have.

[Vin]

Why not have four pairs of trousers

[Matthew Crosby]

in your four pairs of trousers? So I took myself to the shopping center, I went back to the, to the Levi's store to at least replace the jeans that I had stank. And, and I, I said to, I, the woman said to me, can I, can I help you? And I said, yes, I'm trying to buy jeans with these dimensions.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

She went, you what? You won't get them here anymore.

[Vin]

Everyone your size has died.

[Matthew Crosby]

Covid took everyone your size.

[Vin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So no, you won't get them here anymore. We used to have a tailor who could sort of take them up in store. They've been fired. I don't know where they've gone. And I said, could I get them online with my dimensions? And she said no. And then she used the phrase. And as soon as it came out of her mouth she realized she said the wrong thing. But she said, no, you have to be big and tall to shop here. So she, we both had a good laugh about it. I was slightly crying, but I got kicked out of the Levi's store for being too small.

[Vin]

You know when you go to like Heathrow Airport, there'll be like a big bear dressed as a beefeater. Maybe you take his trousers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Perfect suit. That would. Absolutely, yeah. Outside, Outside the little, the Little Hamleys where you can buy a double decker bus that's got Union Jack painted. Yeah, yeah, that's what I, that's what I need.

[Vin]

That's what you need.

[Matthew Crosby]

I basically do need to go to one of those specialist Sylvanian families shops and get Some trousers. Because. Well, the thing is, I want to get. I want to. I'm gonna go for big trousers, but

[Vin]

you're gonna get some big trousers.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm gonna get some big trousers, but big as in.

[Vin]

But still fitting you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. I'm not just gonna go and buy

[Vin]

some normal person trousers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Buy some normal person trousers and. Yeah, and big in all the right places. You know, like wide leg, as opposed to very, very long and all crumpled up over your trainers, you know, that's what I want to go for. I want it to be, you know, obviously tight at the waist so they don't fall down wide at the leg, then pluming out and then crucially stopping about an inch.

[Vin]

Well, I think this is a lovely update, I think. Tune in next week and maybe Matthew's got some big trousers.

[Matthew Crosby]

I find it too humiliating. I sometimes see short people wearing big trousers and I want to go up to them and say, excuse me, where did you buy your trousers? But it feels. It feels invasive, doesn't it? It feels like the sort of thing you can't do to a stranger.

[Producer]

I think you could do that in this building as part of your talking to yourself.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's no one in this building. It's a Sunday. There's no one around.

[Vin]

So there's no one who works here. That's Matthew's height.

[Producer]

Yes, that's true.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you want me to come in during the week and talk to the young people and say, where'd you get your trousers? It's all right, I'll do that, actually. Why not? Why not? Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Vroom, vroom.

[Ed Gamble]

And Hong Kong.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's all right. Yeah, she's my sister.

[Vin]

What a twist at the end.

[Matthew Crosby]

I can't operate.

[Vin]

He's my sister.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby with you till 11am and we've had some messages in. A few messages about my trousers.

[Vin]

Yes, and quite rightly, Matthew can't find trousers to fit him anymore. Cause no one makes jeans for freaks.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right.

[Vin]

Lou.

[Matthew Crosby]

Little Lou. Right. How tall are you, Matthew?

[Producer]

Did you get that tattooed?

[Vin]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

No one makes jeans for.

[Vin]

No one makes jeans for freaks.

[Matthew Crosby]

No one makes jeans for freaks. Well, apparently they do. How tall are you, Matthew? I'm five foot. I could loan you a pair or two of mine says Little Lou. Not give you a pair for all the wonderful broadcasting you've done over the years. But I could loan you a pair of my jeans. Well, I'm five foot five and a half. The half does count, but, yeah, absolutely. Lou. I'd love to wear a pair of Eugenes strutting around the place. Yeah, it doesn't sound great.

[Vin]

Oh, I'm Lou.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got lose legs. I've got lose legs. I've got. Please Little loose legs. I got loose legs.

[Ed Gamble]

The blueberry and the cake skin. Radio eggs.

[Matthew Crosby]

This one in from from Ollie who says we spent the summer looking for a new flat after our landlord said he wanted us to leave because he wanted out of the landlording game. That's what they say about landlords, isn't it? They want out, they want to make less money. That's what they're after. We eventually found a place not two minutes from our current flat. Ideal slight catch was the move date was two weeks after our move out date, which meant moving everything to a storage unit an hour away before bringing it back to a flat two minutes walk away. Within the two weeks we were out of the area, the shop below the new flat managed to have a big fire and the flat ceiling collapsed.

[Vin]

Oh my goodness.

[Matthew Crosby]

Final destination. We still managed to move in on time, but now the current residents. The mice are pulling up the carpet. The real kick in the teeth was that our landlord has since the reached rented out the flat again and he just didn't like us apparently.

[Vin]

Yeah, right, of course. Okay, well, this is making me feel a lot better actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, your life isn't actually all that bad.

[Vin]

This is from Julie. We moved house two years ago and whilst I was in the kitchen making the men coffee, I heard an almighty bang. A whole container had fallen off the lorry and hit one of the men on the head.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh no.

[Vin]

I have never seen so much blood in my life.

[Producer]

Oh God.

[Vin]

My husband Alan took him to the hospital and luckily he was okay after a few staples in his head.

[Matthew Crosby]

Great.

[Vin]

Yeah, great. What a lovely story.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a lovely story. And I'm glad we asked. Yeah, you see, this must be making you feel.

[Vin]

Yeah, but now I'm worried that it's gonna be a disaster.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, you're worried?

[Vin]

I'm worried that this is tempting karma.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you think this is. This is gonna. Well, you just keep away from the back of the lorry.

[Vin]

Oh, I'm going nowhere near the back.

[Producer]

You don't even have a husband, Alan.

[Vin]

I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, okay.

[Producer]

Oh, it'd be fine.

[Vin]

I found him in one of the drawers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I forgot I had a husband, Alan. I've had this for ages now. This is from Kantus. When I moved into my house share for my third year in Sheffield, I found the whole process overwhelmingly depressing. To lessen the terror and gloom for the other three housemates, I spent a gleeful evening going from room to room, putting a line of glitter atop doors, in drawers, inside Valak's windows at Clementrail

[Vin]

couldn't be more annoying.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why would you do that?

[Vin]

You basically ruined the house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Totally ruined the house. Because who doesn't love a beautiful cascade of sparkly rainbows showering down and adding color to your room every time you close a door or open a window? The three curmudgeonly grumplestilkins had the misfortune to share a house with for next year. Apparently it was all downhill from there. Yeah, yeah, of course it was.

[Vin]

Of course it was.

[Matthew Crosby]

We could have told you that. Also, if it's coming, like if it's coming from the ceiling down towards you. Glitter in your eyes.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So you just. Or just glitter in the head. In your hair. In your hair. In your eyes.

[Vin]

Be finding it for years.

[Matthew Crosby]

Kantus, you're an idiot. I'm so sorry.

[Ed Gamble]

Warm Egg and Matthew Crosby on Radio X saying goodbye.

[Vin]

Of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

Goodbye, everybody. And Ed, good luck with the move.

[Vin]

Thank you very much.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really hope it goes well. Thank you. I mean, obviously we've heard all the potential. The potential. Are you just gonna say keep saying thank you?

[Vin]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. We've heard all the potential disasters that could happen. I hope none of them before you. That's all I was gonna.

[Producer]

There we go.

[Matthew Crosby]

I knew you were gonna say thank

[Vin]

you, but I meant.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I mean it as well. Thank you. Thank you, Ed. And thank you, the listener. We're gonna be back next week at 8am on a Sunday morning, so please do join us. If you. If you've just started listening now, then get the podcast. You can hear the entire show, you can listen again on Global Player and all of that kind of stuff. But most importantly, stick around, guys. Stick around because Danny Wallace is just around the corner.

[Vin]

Thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you very much. Bye Bye.

[Vin]

Bye.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

So, folks, there's the show. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Dan said there was a weird energy.

[Vin]

I didn't think so.

[Matthew Crosby]

I thought it was a good one.

[Vin]

I thought it was a good energy.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was. It's the right energy is what is the energy we. We need. So coming up, we're going to be doing a. A few pre records, so if you'd like to get in touch. Sundayadiox.co.uk We've got a couple of topics currently in play. Yes, Things you've stolen. Yes, yeah, we're talking about things you've stolen. We've also got. Raise your glasses. Times you have glasses or contact lens based injuries or indeed eye injuries or indeed face injuries.

[Vin]

Silly disasters.

[Matthew Crosby]

Silly. I like silly. Open it up nice and wide. Silly disasters. I think that's the third topic. We've got things you've stolen, we've got raise your glasses and we've got silly disasters. What's the silliest disaster? Is it Pompeii?

[Vin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cause if you go to Pompeii, some of them are just. Just wandering around all covered in ash, aren't they? It's great stuff.

[Vin]

Any other topics?

[Matthew Crosby]

Any other topics?

[Producer]

Well, always embarrassing. Not embarrassing.

[Vin]

Always open.

[Matthew Crosby]

Always embarrassing. Not embarrassing. I think.

[Producer]

I mean, as we know, everything's in play.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep.

[Vin]

And we'll do some metal educations. We'll do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep. Who do you used to look like? Of course. What's the best thing you've ever seen behind a curtain?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's the best way to clean an apple? Yeah, These are all topics. How to get to.

[Producer]

Getting dirt off an apple.

[Matthew Crosby]

How to get dirt. Specifically how to get dirt off an apple. Yeah, absolutely Right.

[Vin]

Can you meet a baby? Baby?

[Matthew Crosby]

Can you.

[Producer]

Can you truly meet them?

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can you meet a baby? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to meet the baby. Can you meet a baby? Yes. [e-mail] thank you very much.

[Vin]

Ed. Hi.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you got any Beckerman recommendations?

[Vin]

I was just telling you, I started watching Euphoria, the new series came out and I'd never seen it, so I popped it on course. A blooming drag, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I don't. It's not. It's not for me.

[Vin]

Well, I would say it's not representative of my high school experience,

[Matthew Crosby]

but they're all. They're all grown up now, aren't they? It's like. It's like Saved by the Bell, the college is. Yeah, they've.

[Vin]

They've all grown up. Well, I started from series one. Oh, you started from series.

[Matthew Crosby]

Series one. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Vin]

I. It's not a recommendation though, because, although obviously it started a lot of big careers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. You've got a. Lordy, you've got Sweeney, you've got Zendaya.

[Producer]

Did he start in that?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, he didn't start in it. He started in the kissing booth, of course, as we reviewed. As we reviewed on course.

[Vin]

Is that Pre Euphoria kissing booth?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I think kissing. Well, I mean, it was certainly around the time he was yeah, he was. He was blown up a lot. A lot of big people.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Started in or came to fame.

[Vin]

Yeah. Anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

Euphoria.

[Vin]

Not a recommendation. Super depressing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. It doesn't look like my kind of vibe. I don't think so.

[Vin]

I swear. I watched something else. Oh, I'm watching the new season of Beef.

[Producer]

Yes, it's a new series.

[Vin]

It's really, really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tell me about this, because is it this. Is it a completely new story? Right. Great, great. That's great. So it's.

[Vin]

There is a Beef.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's still.

[Vin]

The consistency is the beast.

[Matthew Crosby]

The consistency is.

[Vin]

It is great.

[Matthew Crosby]

Carey Mulligan and Oscar Isaacs.

[Vin]

Absolutely incredible. Yeah, she is just like bananas good in this especially, like, really, really good. Yeah, it's her. Oscar Isaac, Kaylee Spenny.

[Matthew Crosby]

Kaylee Spinney is her name. Katie Spencer.

[Vin]

No, I think it's Kaylee Spinney, something like that. But she's great as well. There's just some brilliant people in it. And yeah, the story's good. I love the style of it, I think. Yeah, wonderful.

[Matthew Crosby]

Brilliant. Okay, New beef.

[Vin]

New beef.

[Matthew Crosby]

New. New beef, please. Yeah, I. I've almost finished the podcast. I started listening to you last week, so I'm going to give it a further recommendation. Blood Memory. Yeah, I know what it's about now and it's very good. It's. Yeah, it's. It's. It's. It's a love and radio podcast all about. Effectively, it's about one guy's sort of career through prison and. Yeah, and it's a brilliant piece of storytelling because it's constantly wrong footing you. And there's an episode where sort of two people are telling both sides of their. Either side of their story. And every time it would get to the person, I'd be like, well, they're clearly telling the truth and it gets the next person. Well, they're clearly telling the truth.

[Vin]

This is why you can't be a judge, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I would be useless. Cause whoever's talking to me at that moment is the person I'm believing. Which is why I'm not allowed to go into all that QAnon stuff anymore. Because if I listen to the wrong people, I will believe them. But, yeah, that's really, really good.

[Vin]

Oh, can I quickly sneak in another Beck rec?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, you can sneak in as many as you like.

[Vin]

A couple of years ago, when I was doing Great British Menu, one of our guests, the theme was animation and illustration. And one of our guest judges for the Scottish round was Frank Quitely, who's An amazing comic book artist.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. I don't know.

[Vin]

Frank.

[Matthew Crosby]

Quietly. What's his stuff?

[Vin]

Well, he does a lot of Marvel stuff and he's done a lot of it. I mean, but he's like, amazing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Vin]

He was the artist on New X Men and I'd never read New X Men, so I bought the big sort of omnibus hardcover edition. Grant Morrison wrote it, Frank Whiteley did the art, and I, because we're moving house, I obviously found it and started reading it. So it's great. So if you're into that sort of thing, I would highly recommend. You've probably read it already, if you're into that sort of thing. But, yeah, New X Men.

[Matthew Crosby]

New X Men.

[Vin]

And you can get the big. The big omnibus edition.

[Matthew Crosby]

And Vin, do you have any Beckenham recommendations? Listen to any music?

[Producer]

Someone sent me a video of Bruce Springsteen opened his LA gig by covering War. What is it good for?

[Matthew Crosby]

Wow. Fantastic. And. Yeah, well, it's.

[Producer]

It's a really good.

[Vin]

It stopped it, hasn't it?

[Producer]

It's a really. Yeah, it's the perfect thing of like, half, like, this is good and half. This is really funny. Like, he looks like. He looks like he's 90.

[Vin]

Yeah, he's like, sort of.

[Producer]

He's doing all the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Huh.

[Producer]

All that stuff and he's, you know, he's wearing a waistcoat.

[Vin]

Clearing his throat.

[Producer]

Yeah, it's. I couldn't tell whether I was enjoying it or laughing at it.

[Vin]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer]

You know what I mean?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer]

So that.

[Matthew Crosby]

The thing about that is it's not a very coverable song, is it? It's like such a. You know, it's not like people can kind of put their own stamp on it. You basically have to.

[Producer]

Yeah, you have to do that version

[Matthew Crosby]

how you do it. You know how Open Star does it. Yeah.

[Producer]

So that video. Ricky, Don't Lose that number by Stigley Dan.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a song.

[Producer]

Yeah, I'm into that now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Stigley Dan are great. They're a really, really good band. And I think. You know what? Welcome to the fold.

[Producer]

We're out of time.

[Matthew Crosby]

All right, bye, everyone. By.