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Ed Gamble
This is a global Player Original podcast. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio X
Matthew Crosby
hello, it's Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby here. You're about to hear the radio show that we did on Sunday.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
Or clips of it. Long clips.
Ed Gamble
Long clips of it. And we didn't do it on Sunday.
Matthew Crosby
Clippable content.
Ed Gamble
Yes, Clippable content.
Matthew Crosby
That was on on Sunday.
Ed Gamble
It was on on Sunday.
Matthew Crosby
It was a pre record. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Yes. We're still in our mad. Let's try and pre record. Record every show.
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
Ed Gamble
For the rest of the year.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. So let's get on with it.
Ed Gamble
Let's get on with it. Guys. I'm gonna read this email very quickly,
Matthew Crosby
like getting on with it.
Ed Gamble
Well, that is. This is it.
Matthew Crosby
Hurry up.
Ed Gamble
By the way, can I just say this? Did you know. So did you see the. The time. The time code on the last episode we did?
Matthew Crosby
No.
Ed Gamble
So the episodes are normally an hour, hour and five if it's me and a guest. Aaron. 25. But it was 38 minutes long.
Matthew Crosby
Was it?
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
How?
Ed Gamble
I don't know. I've not listened to it.
Matthew Crosby
What did we say?
Ed Gamble
I've got no idea. But we did 38 minutes of content.
Matthew Crosby
Wasn't that show live?
Ed Gamble
No, no, no, it wasn't. It was the first. It was the first of the three on the day we did three.
Matthew Crosby
God knows what the next ones are gonna be like.
Ed Gamble
That's what I'm thinking.
Matthew Crosby
About 12 minutes it's gonna be. How have we got this far into the show and only just crack? We can do that.
Ed Gamble
We can do 38 minutes long. Yes. This is from Stuart from Nottingham. He says possible entry for a couple of texters. What? Do I not know who it is? I. Who Joan Armor Trading is? And when I first heard the name, I thought it must relate to some sort of shop buying and selling medieval battle garments.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
New texture of who. Do I not know who it is? And sounds like something else. Maybe. Good looking. The charts this week. Stuart from Nottingham.
Matthew Crosby
Lovely.
Ed Gamble
So Sunday@radiox.co.uk if you've got somebody that you don't know who they are.
Matthew Crosby
Not only you think they sound like
Ed Gamble
something else, maybe you sound like something else. Maybe. Get in touch. Yes, we've got the brilliant Catherine Bohart on the show today. We had a lovely chat with her. She's absolutely brilliant.
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
Ed Gamble
So let's not waste any more time. This is 38 minutes of the finest content.
Matthew Crosby
Including this.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, including the. That's true as well. It's including the intro and outros we did for the. Oh, my God. Unbelievable.
Matthew Crosby
Here's the show.
Ed Gamble
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Radio X. It's the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show on Radio X and we have got some big news. Vin is away on holiday for the next two weeks in Thailand. Cheeky boy. But that means we have in his place producer John. Yes. Two weeks with the supply teacher. I mean, a very different but very, very much in charge producer. Now, we know John's been here before, but just to remind him of the way it normally works when Vin is here. Firstly, 6, 7 isn't banned. I know it's banned in other studios but Vin's like a cool producer. He lets us do 6, 7. He also tries to get us to do 6, 9. Cheeky boy. Also, Vin normally lets us put on a dvd. I've got the box set of Twilight. We could watch that. Vin sometimes puts on his own DVDs, but they make us feel funny. Cheeky Boy. Also, Jon, can you hear a weird noise? Oh, John, I think the studio's broken. Jon, I think we all have to go home. John, can you hear that? John? You know, it sounds like the noise that Vin makes when he's googling hotels to stay in in Thailand. Cheeky Boy. Also, Vin lets us go on our phones, he lets us race our razor scooters all around the stud and he even lets us have cigarettes and alcohol even if all he's asked for is a croissant and oak flat white radio.
Matthew Crosby
Ed Gambler, Matthew Crosby here on Radio X of a Sunday morn.
Ed Gamble
Yes. Happy Sunday, everybody.
Matthew Crosby
Of course, there are some people in the world who go straight from Saturday to Monday.
Ed Gamble
Yes, absolutely. The six weekers. As they're the six day weakers.
Matthew Crosby
As they Weakers.
Ed Gamble
The six day weekers, I think. I think they've got it right. Yeah, they get more weeks.
Matthew Crosby
They get. They do get more. They do get more weeks. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
The great thing about it, you know that, you know, there are those guys who like break up their day into sort of micro days.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
And get more days.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
That's what we should be Doing? Yeah, they're more productive. I tell you what, if you want to be a CEO, forget about Sunday.
Matthew Crosby
Forget about Sunday. Straight back to work on your Monday.
Ed Gamble
Absolutely. Right. Happy Monday to all the CEOs out there. Happy Monday, everybody. Yes. We've also got producer John here.
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
Ed Gamble
Well, great to have producer John here. Thanks for coming on the show, John. It's my pleasure. Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
I mean, thanks for coming on the show and making the show happen.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. We wouldn't be able to do it otherwise. You don't know what any of the buttons do. We're not allowed to touch them, but that could be a fun way to pass the time. What is it? How do we. You guys press the buttons?
Matthew Crosby
We tried that before. It did not go well.
Ed Gamble
We've tried that before.
Matthew Crosby
I've been allowed to be in control of the desk before, and it was one of the worst shows we've ever done.
Ed Gamble
There was a good bit where you found a button that played an anecdote from Rob Beckett that lasted about two minutes.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
And that was really good. I think that might have been the best bit of broadcast I have done.
Matthew Crosby
I had the Moles soundboard, and one
Ed Gamble
of the Moyle soundboards is a full anecdote from Rob Beckett.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
He's never. He's never come on the show. No, he's never come on the show.
Matthew Crosby
He's not come on any show I've done.
Ed Gamble
Does he not like you?
Matthew Crosby
Apparently not.
Ed Gamble
Wow. What a. What a great way is this. Is this Beef Season three, I think. Is that what it is? We've had Carey Mulligan and Oscar Isaacs. Now we've got Ed Gamble and Rob Beckett.
Matthew Crosby
Finally.
Ed Gamble
Finally a beef.
Matthew Crosby
I'd love that. I'd love to be on the new season of Beef.
Ed Gamble
I think that'd be really good. Yeah, but it's not. It's not a really active, like, you're not screaming at each other street kind of beef. It's just.
Matthew Crosby
No, we don't always cross paths. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
You follow the lives of two very separate people.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, but. And when we do see each other, we actually get on pretty well.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Yeah. Because he's a lovely guy.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. But, you know, just through his management, something's gone wrong.
Ed Gamble
Something's happened there. Yeah, it's. Anyway, look forward to that on Netflix. Ed, how are you doing, by the way?
Matthew Crosby
Pretty good.
Ed Gamble
Because you've been. Last time we spoke, you were moving house.
Matthew Crosby
Moved.
Ed Gamble
You're now moved.
Matthew Crosby
New house.
Ed Gamble
New house.
Matthew Crosby
Absolutely hate being out of it.
Ed Gamble
You hate being out of. You out of the. The old house or out of the new house?
Matthew Crosby
Out of the new house.
Ed Gamble
Oh, okay, I get it. Sorry, I thought you were having buyers.
Matthew Crosby
No, no, I hate.
Ed Gamble
Oh, I've made a huge mistake.
Matthew Crosby
I hate being out.
Ed Gamble
You hate being here.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Ed Gamble
But you always hate being here.
Matthew Crosby
I want you to know that. Yes, I always hate being here. And also, it's not just here. I hate being. It's everywhere. That's not my house.
Ed Gamble
What's so good about your house? All the buckets.
Matthew Crosby
It's mine. I've got all. Loads of stuff. Play around with it. Cat's there, wife's there sometimes.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, that's nice. It does sound very idyllic, actually.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barbecue. We've got a barbecue.
Ed Gamble
You've got the barbecue.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
And you've. You know what? We've had the weather for it as well. Have you had. Have you been barbecuing in the garden last night?
Matthew Crosby
Last night was the inaugural, the. The new maiden voyage, the relaunch of the barbecue.
Ed Gamble
The barbecue, yeah. Nice. What did you do, talk us through your bbq?
Matthew Crosby
Very, very quick? Because my wife was home a bit late, so I did some chicken skewers. Chimichurri. Chicken skewers.
Ed Gamble
Lovely.
Matthew Crosby
And some. An array sausages. And then actually I grilled some red onions and grilled some gem lettuce.
Ed Gamble
You grilled lettuce?
Matthew Crosby
Put them together. Bit of pomegranate molasses. Ooh, lovely. It was good. Mint parsley.
Ed Gamble
Now, I've never grilled a lettuce before. I always assumed lettuce was one of those things that you just don't have to cook.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, but that's why you're not a barbecue professional.
Ed Gamble
That's right. No, no, no.
Matthew Crosby
The barbecue pros out there know that anything can be grilled.
Ed Gamble
I bought a barbecue a few years ago. I couldn't get it to work and I left it outside. That's my entire story of having a barbecue.
Matthew Crosby
I mean, we've surely had this discussion before.
Ed Gamble
We have. Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
But was it a gas. Was it a gas barbecue?
Ed Gamble
It was a gas barbecue. And you said, there's your first mistake. You said, oh, you shouldn't have got a gas barbecue. You know, I've still got the gas.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
No one will take that away. We've tried to get rid of the gas. Oh, if you want gas, I've got it.
Matthew Crosby
Why are you trying to get rid of your gas?
Ed Gamble
Because I don't need it anymore. Cause I got rid of the barbecue.
Matthew Crosby
Do you not use It. For the oven.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, but. No, no, no. Yeah, but it's a can of gas. It's like a big old can of gas. Yeah, we've got gas in the house, of course, but we've got gas in the shed for no reason at all.
Matthew Crosby
Enable. Take that, Matthew.
Ed Gamble
Okay. We'll put it on the street. WhatsApp. You don't want some gas?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, I got rid of some helium that way.
Ed Gamble
Did you? Yeah. What did you have helium for?
Matthew Crosby
For balloons for a party.
Ed Gamble
And you just had some spare.
Matthew Crosby
Anyone, Cans of spare helium. Put it on the WhatsApp group straight away. Yes, please.
Ed Gamble
Of course. Yeah, but that'll be the. That'll be the hipsters in your area.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Getting high off of it.
Matthew Crosby
I don't think that's possible.
Ed Gamble
When they're. When they're doing balloons, is that not what they're doing?
Matthew Crosby
I don't think we're allowed to talk about this, but. No, it's a different thing.
Ed Gamble
All right, well, we'll talk about something else after this. Robb J and the Machine, Radio X,
Matthew Crosby
Rock the Casbah.
Ed Gamble
Why not?
Matthew Crosby
The Clash at Gambler, Matthew Crosby. Of course. A casbar, I believe, Matthew, is a sort of Moroccan market.
Ed Gamble
That's right.
Matthew Crosby
Where they might sell trousers.
Ed Gamble
They might sell trousers. Yeah. You'd imagine in a Moroccan market, they might be more like a sort of MC Hammer pant.
Matthew Crosby
Quite jazzy.
Ed Gamble
Jazzy. Yes, exactly, exactly. I. I've. We were talking earlier. I've washed some jeans.
Matthew Crosby
You've washed some smelling.
Ed Gamble
I've washed some smell into the jeans.
Matthew Crosby
What is the smell that you washed into the jeans?
Ed Gamble
Dank.
Matthew Crosby
Dank.
Ed Gamble
It's dank.
Matthew Crosby
Not in a good way.
Ed Gamble
No, no, no, no, no, no. Not like a meme, like a basement.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, it's.
Ed Gamble
They're absolutely disgusting. My trousers now, so they're gone. So I'm now down to two pairs of trousers. Two. Two. Well, two. Two pairs of trousers for daily wear.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
I've got a few suits.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, but you don't. That's bottom of the barrel. The suit trousers may be smart in some contexts, but when you're wearing them with a T shirt out and about, they are the least smart thing you could possibly wear.
Ed Gamble
It's really bad.
Matthew Crosby
Everything's gone wrong.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not gonna be wearing the. I'm not gonna be wearing my funeral trousers. I'm gonna be wearing my. I'm gonna wear my black jeans, which obviously my rock funeral trousers and my blue jeans.
Matthew Crosby
You wore those to Aussies funerals?
Ed Gamble
Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, yeah. My black jeans or the jeans I'm wearing right now. But I got a DM on Instagram from somebody saying, I can help you with your trousers. Now, of course, I showed that to my wife straight away, because anytime you get a DM saying, I can help you with your trousers, you know, you
Matthew Crosby
have to show it to your wife
Ed Gamble
to show it to your wife. So nothing untoward is happening.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
But it turns out there's a, a fashion journalist who listens to the show.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, my goodness.
Ed Gamble
Who got in touch with us.
Matthew Crosby
I'm gonna put it out there. I don't think they're a very good one if they listen to this.
Ed Gamble
Well, I, when I, I check.
Matthew Crosby
Not cool fashion.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, No, I don't think, I don't think she's listening to the show, getting tips for fashion.
Matthew Crosby
No, but with very fashionable people, every single element of their life, fashion and trends bleed into it.
Ed Gamble
So you're supposed. Well, look, I, I checked out this person. She's got good credentials. She's written for Gentleman's Quarterly magazine.
Matthew Crosby
Right.
Ed Gamble
So she understands. She then emailed me and said, I'm also the exact same height as you. So I feel like, I feel like now I'm on a trouser based odyssey with my own professional stylist, a guru,
Matthew Crosby
a Sherpa of trousers.
Ed Gamble
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Crosby
So the same. But why does it matter that she's the same height as you?
Ed Gamble
Because she's gonna lend me her try.
Matthew Crosby
She's gonna give you some ladies fashion trousers.
Ed Gamble
No. Well, listen, the thing is now there
Matthew Crosby
is some trousers with pockets all over them.
Ed Gamble
No, there's no such thing as ladies fashion and men's fashion anymore.
Matthew Crosby
There is.
Ed Gamble
There isn't. No, there isn't. It's. We've got, you know, it's complete equality. For what wear.
Matthew Crosby
I think in some areas. Absolutely. And, you know, all power to that. But I think there's definitely a, a lady's trouser and there's a man's trouser.
Ed Gamble
No, no, no. I'm gonna wear absolutely enormous trousers like I'm one of the Mitford sisters. That's what I'm gonna. That's what I'm gonna. Anyway, listen, I don't know.
Matthew Crosby
So have you got the trousers yet?
Ed Gamble
No, no.
Matthew Crosby
So what's she doing for you?
Ed Gamble
Well, she's just.
Matthew Crosby
I'm a fashion journalist.
Ed Gamble
We're getting, we're getting our calendars aligned.
Matthew Crosby
What for?
Ed Gamble
To, to work out how we're. Well, I'm gonna say to a. Look, you take me to wherever you buy trousers from Mayfair. Do you buy trousers from Mayfair? You take me to London's Mayfair and we'll go shopping together and you can be my stylist.
Matthew Crosby
Does she know that you're planning on going shopping with her or is she just gonna send you some links to some trousers?
Ed Gamble
Well, I don't know. What, I don't know how the stylist works, but I've seen it in the movies.
Matthew Crosby
So she's your stylist?
Ed Gamble
Yeah, she's my stylist.
Matthew Crosby
Has she agreed to that?
Ed Gamble
Not yet, but listen, this is, this
Matthew Crosby
is not an update, Matthew. This is a fantasy you have in your head.
Ed Gamble
I've yet to send the follow up email.
Matthew Crosby
Have you responded at all?
Ed Gamble
Yeah, I've responded, I've responded to her. But what I think I'm gonna suggest is, you know, like in the movie where two people go out and the movie, you know, the movie, you know, where two people, they go out into like, sort of like a fashionable part of town.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
And you go to like various montage. Various change rooms and we do a funny montage. Exactly, yeah. Where, where, you know, I come out in a really big pair of trousers and she shakes her head. Then I come out in a really small pair of trousers and she shakes her head and then I've come out in a medium sized pair of big
Matthew Crosby
trousers and she goes, you come on. There's one where you come up with them. Like you've got your arms through them and you'. Confused.
Ed Gamble
Exactly. And we're laughing. I think it's going to be great. So basically the next time you see me, you're. You're barely going to recognize me. The only thing you're going to recognize is the head.
Matthew Crosby
I'm worried.
Ed Gamble
And the hands.
Matthew Crosby
Because fashion people spend money on clothes. I'm worried that I think you have very much have a budget ceiling that you're unwilling to spend on clothes.
Ed Gamble
I've told him. What? I've told you. My budget is £35 for. For an entire new wardrobe.
Matthew Crosby
Right.
Ed Gamble
And that includes buying the wardrobe as well. So. Already, already going to IKEA?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
It's 30 quid for the wardrobe.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
So it's £5.
Matthew Crosby
It's £5 for your whole wardrobe?
Ed Gamble
Yeah, £5 for our wardrobe. What do you think? What do you think I'm looking at? You know, if I want to get a whole new look for me, you know, just say one outfit, would I be, would I be able to do it all under, say 50 quid?
Matthew Crosby
You could, but I wouldn't say that. It would be the highest quality stuff. I don't think that would last necessarily. You might look nice.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
Sky's the limit with fashion, Matthew. Of course you can buy affordable things and look lovely.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
But I think.
Ed Gamble
Should I remortgage my house again?
Matthew Crosby
I think. I just think you so clearly don't have an idea that your Two ideas are 50 quid and remortgage your house.
Ed Gamble
I've got no clue.
Matthew Crosby
Somewhere in between.
Ed Gamble
I don't know. I don't know how much things cost.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
I just. I've got. Literally, I. I so rarely buy clothes. I don't know. I always go, something's going to shops and go, well, that looks nice. Oh, no, that's. That's too expensive.
Matthew Crosby
And what's too expensive for you for
Ed Gamble
a seven quid Crunch and crumble radio.
Matthew Crosby
The Bucket Kings of Leon. That reminds me, I need to find my buckets. I've moved house recently, said gambler Matthew Crosby. By the way.
Ed Gamble
Hello.
Matthew Crosby
Moved house recently and I've packed my bucket somewhere. I can't find it.
Ed Gamble
Really. You can't find your bucket?
Matthew Crosby
Can't find my bucket.
Ed Gamble
That's typically the things you sort of pack and you think, oh, I really need. That are like the bottle opener or something like that. You know where you might.
Matthew Crosby
Well, there was when we. The night we moved in, obviously. Piles of boxes everywhere.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
I did order a corkscrew on Deliveroo.
Ed Gamble
Did you?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
I didn't know you could do that. You can order a corkscrew on Deliveroo.
Matthew Crosby
Get anything on Deliveroo these days, mate?
Ed Gamble
Can you?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah, yeah, big time.
Ed Gamble
Can I get a pair of trousers on delivery?
Matthew Crosby
Probably.
Ed Gamble
That might be mine. I'm sorry. Stylist. If I can get them on Deliveroo.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
If I could. They wait while I try them on and then will they take them back?
Matthew Crosby
That's actually a really good idea for a service.
Ed Gamble
That's a fantastic idea for a service. We'll get to the moving disasters bit in a second. We're going to interrogate this idea. That's a really good idea.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Where somebody. Right, here's the thing.
Catherine Bohart
Thing.
Ed Gamble
They. They come to your house. They also have basic tailoring skills.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Okay. So it needs to be taken up just a tiny bit.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
You know, taken up. Take it in. Any of those kind of things. Take it up, take it in. Let me begin to paraphrase House of Pain. If they. Yeah, that's great. But if you don't. If you. If you fundamentally don't like taking places. They take them away again.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
This is really.
Matthew Crosby
I mean, it's sort of a personal shopper at home.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
You go through the full wardrobe. You have, like, access to the Debenhams catalog or something.
Ed Gamble
Absolutely right. Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
Click, click, click. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They bring it all over in a big cube. They stay there while you try it on. They take it up if you need it, if you want it. They've got a bibber.
Ed Gamble
Yep.
Matthew Crosby
Buy, purchase, purchase that.
Ed Gamble
And if you don't want it, no harm, no foul, they pop it back on their bike and they cycle off.
Matthew Crosby
Or they put it on or they wear it.
Ed Gamble
If you don't want it, I'll have it. That's what the service is called.
Matthew Crosby
They arrive wearing it so you can see what it looks like on someone.
Ed Gamble
Okay. Do you have to then order a Deliveroo driver who's the same. Same basic shape as you?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he has to be prepared to ride home naked. That's right, yeah.
Ed Gamble
He arrives in one outfit.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
There's an added little thrill, isn't it? Well, no, no. Because if he has to go home naked, what you really want is exhibitionists. So they're incentivized to sell. To sell.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Because otherwise that's going to be a very shy salesman. So what you really need is.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, you don't want this.
Ed Gamble
No.
Matthew Crosby
You don't need pants, do you?
Ed Gamble
No, no, no. I feel like I'd be better in this one. No.
Matthew Crosby
Or take the helmet as well.
Ed Gamble
That's. Well, depends if you take the pants or not. Yeah. That's a good idea, though, I think. Okay. Right, we've got a brand new business idea.
Matthew Crosby
This is great.
Ed Gamble
This is really, really good. This is finally going to make our fortune. We've got Catherine Bohart coming up on the show in just a little bit.
Matthew Crosby
See what Catherine thinks.
Ed Gamble
See what she thinks of it. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Do you remember the High Street Honeys? Happy Sunday, everybody. Or, of course, Monday, if you're a CEO. It's Ed Gamble and it's Mat Crosby. We're with you till 11am Catherine Bohart just around the corner. But producer John has been producing during this show. It's very, very rare.
Matthew Crosby
It's odd. It's an odd feeling to have an actual producer in the room, to have
Ed Gamble
an actual competent producer doing some producing work. But you looked up trousers on Deliveroo during that last song. The first result was Screw Fix. They're a little bit out of your budget.
Matthew Crosby
Though, how much are they like? Are they like. So they're like protective work trousers.
Ed Gamble
I'd imagine these are real work trousers for real men. They're gonna last though, aren't they? That's the thing. You buy a pair of screw fix trousers. You never buy another pair of trousers in your life.
Matthew Crosby
You like walking around, just going to cafes and stuff. You look like a total blonker.
Ed Gamble
There is. And also I. Workwear is a fashion style.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. But not workwear like this, I'd imagine. I'd imagine this is like padded stuff. I'd imagine this is. It's not like. They're not like Carhartt trousers, are they?
Ed Gamble
They're Dewalt trousers.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. So they're like.
Ed Gamble
These aren't stylish.
Matthew Crosby
These aren't stylish work trousers. These are actual work trousers.
Ed Gamble
But the thing is.
Matthew Crosby
And you do not scream labourer, Matthew. I don't. No one's gonna think that guy's off to the site.
Ed Gamble
I did fix the fe the other day.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Very badly. But I did it.
Matthew Crosby
Well, there you go. Point proven.
Ed Gamble
I did it. Never. I did it. Nevertheless. So I'm sort of moving into my handyman era and I think my fashion needs to reflect that. I also think I'll get, you know, I think people will go, oh, didn't expect that of this guy. So I think it'll, it'll. It'll be a conversation. Also.
Matthew Crosby
They'll be pristine the whole time.
Ed Gamble
Always be.
Matthew Crosby
Really? Yeah.
Ed Gamble
They'll be dank.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
But they'll be, they'll be freshly washed. How.
Matthew Crosby
How much are we talking for these Dewalts work trousers that you can get on Deliveroo.
Ed Gamble
These are about 45 pounds. Oh, Matthew, that's a bit too expensive for you. There's another shop which is selling trousers for £15. Yes. That's more my budget.
Matthew Crosby
Are they just more like fashion trousers?
Ed Gamble
They're cargoes. They've labeled them as work trousers.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
You've also got like a sort of pajama trouser checked. They look a bit like chef's trousers. Yeah. So basically I've got to be one of the Village People in order to buy trousers on deliver.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
I've got to have a very recognizable job.
Matthew Crosby
Please don't wear the native American trousers.
Ed Gamble
No, no. You simply can't anymore. You simply can't anymore. I've also got. I've got a bit of a beef with trousers generally as a season four of beef. Season four of beef trousers. I do resent the fact that if I'M buying a pair of trousers. As a small person, I'm paying the same as a big person is paying Big Tall Boy. Big Tall Boy is paying the same for his jeans as little Small Boy. Unless I'm buying them from Bas Baby Gap. Yeah, you know, which I occasionally. I do. I will. I will shop in the kids section occasionally for a T shirt or something like that.
Matthew Crosby
The problem is, if you go in there alone, it doesn't look great, does it? Because you're often going in there with no trousers on.
Ed Gamble
That's right. I go in there with no trousers.
Matthew Crosby
I need a pair of trousers.
Ed Gamble
Say dress me, Mummy.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
And they absolutely hate it.
Matthew Crosby
Spit your dummy out.
Ed Gamble
I'm just. I'm just a baby. Which could. Could. Could Mummy. Could Mummy dress baby? And I'm banned from Westfield now. Yeah, yeah. No longer welcome. Anyway.
Matthew Crosby
Banned from life.
Ed Gamble
I should be banned from life. Yeah, yeah. Is just around the corner. I won't be talking to her about my adult baby preferences.
Matthew Crosby
I will.
Ed Gamble
Will you? Yeah. Okay. Let's find out what she thinks of that. Catherine Bohart is just around the corner. Stay tuned for her. Radio X.
Grainger Announcer
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Ed Gamble
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. We are delighted to be joined by our first guest of the day. Our first scoop for Daddy.
Matthew Crosby
No, thank you.
Ed Gamble
It is, of course, thank you. All right, all right. Worth a try, wasn't it? But never, never worth a try. It's Catherine Bohart, the brilliant Kather Bohart. Hello, Catherine. How are you doing?
Catherine Bohart
Delighted.
Matthew Crosby
It's the morning.
Catherine Bohart
Delighted to be here.
Matthew Crosby
Hello.
Catherine Bohart
I'm good. I'm sorry, I'm still in shock about your hair. I love it, but I'm also.
Ed Gamble
Everyone loves my hair. Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
We've not. We've not actually mentioned it on the show so far, but Mattie's had a little haircut. Quite a big haircut, actually.
Ed Gamble
Quite a significant haircut. Yes. I didn't go to my usual. Usual person. I went to Rosie, who was fantastic. What a delight.
Catherine Bohart
Who's your usual person?
Ed Gamble
Jackson. Okay, Jackson. So. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jackson.
Matthew Crosby
Jackson.
Catherine Bohart
Sorry.
Ed Gamble
My bad.
Catherine Bohart
I really apologize. Why are you crazy? If you're know the hair lore. But so Rosie thought we're doing something different.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. I said, just take a little bit off and she was like, it's almost all going off. I feel like a skinhead.
Matthew Crosby
No.
Ed Gamble
I feel like one of the Weetabix men.
Matthew Crosby
You've still got long hair, but it really suits you.
Ed Gamble
Do you think so?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. And also it stops you looking like every other man who works in production in television.
Catherine Bohart
I do agree with that. I'm sorry.
Ed Gamble
I agree with that. It's true. Everybody's still got that sort of post Covid look of a big beard and long hair.
Matthew Crosby
Every show that Matthew works on, there's someone who looks exactly like him on the show.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, true.
Matthew Crosby
I've got.
Catherine Bohart
Every show he works on, there's eight people who look like. So I've been to those recordings and you go, I'm gonna pick a man's name and I'm just gonna call everybody it. And it usually works.
Matthew Crosby
Nick, Tom or Matthew. Absolutely.
Catherine Bohart
He. Sometimes he's a Jack, sometimes he's a Jack.
Matthew Crosby
But Jack is unusual. You're right. Yeah, you're right.
Ed Gamble
Yes. But anyway, now I. Now I look very unique, very different. And it could be. It could be a new me. I'm also going to buy some trousers. So it's all happening in Crosby's world.
Catherine Bohart
Well, you're buying trousers.
Matthew Crosby
Matthew washed some TR and somehow he put stink into them, so he had to get rid of them.
Catherine Bohart
No. Is it your machine?
Ed Gamble
It's the machine, yeah. Yeah. The machine's got something in it, yeah.
Catherine Bohart
Can I tell you, I don't think you'll be surprised to hear I'm a woman who watches people clean their washing machines online and then I actually do what they say because I love to learn how to get in there and clean it. And does it work so well, it turns out washing machines don't have to just last four years if you actually get in there, but you have to be willing to.
Matthew Crosby
Vinegar. Vinegar.
Catherine Bohart
It's part of it, yeah. Lemons.
Matthew Crosby
It's always vinegar.
Catherine Bohart
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
So it's all sort of natural ingredients. Then you've got your vinegar, your lemon.
Catherine Bohart
You're against hardcore chemicals.
Ed Gamble
Oh, really?
Catherine Bohart
Yeah. I appreciate that. That's not the modern move, but I do want every. Also, I just moved into a house where we bought the white goods off the previous owner. And so I was like, I need to eviscerate you from this property in a sort of, I guess, a very intense way.
Ed Gamble
So you actually enjoy cleaning washing machines?
Catherine Bohart
Is that what you're trying to feel strong? I certainly feel compelled to. Compulsively, yes.
Ed Gamble
Do you want to come around my house? It's basically the next question. I'd come around my house.
Matthew Crosby
Compulsion and enjoyment are necessarily within the same Venn diagram.
Catherine Bohart
Well, I guess both. I feel a relief after I've done it. Certainly I enjoy knowing it is clean.
Matthew Crosby
Yes. Yeah.
Catherine Bohart
Yes. And I love watching people do it.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Catherine Bohart
Oh my God. I'm gonna send you some amazing videos and a particularly good gadget. I'll send you a link.
Ed Gamble
Yes, please.
Catherine Bohart
You asked for none.
Matthew Crosby
I've just moved the first place I've lived with a full size dishwasher, so that is a daily joy.
Ed Gamble
It's got a walk in dishwasher.
Matthew Crosby
I've got a walk in dishwasher.
Catherine Bohart
I'm working with a half dishwasher at the moment.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, I've been there.
Catherine Bohart
It's actually, it's fine. There's only two of us. It discourages me from putting every single thing that I. Ellen says that my partner says that when I. If she like looks away from her glass, I'll put it in the dishwasher so she has to sort of keep it in her hand at all times.
Matthew Crosby
Yes. I will finish my dinner and try and clear my wife's plate away while she's still eating.
Catherine Bohart
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
That's because you love food, isn't it?
Matthew Crosby
We should talk about your tour, Catherine.
Catherine Bohart
Oh, yes, let's.
Matthew Crosby
Because you're doing another stand up comedy tour called Borrowing Trouble.
Catherine Bohart
I sure am. Borrowing Trouble is a phrase my dad uses an awful lot to describe, I guess my sort of anxiety and how I will borrow trouble from scenarios that haven't yet happened, but may well happen or could happen, but certainly aren't happening so as to ruin my present with the fear of Potential futures.
Ed Gamble
That stands for for future events appearing real.
Matthew Crosby
Are we playing that now? Yeah, we're not we playing Ian Brown.
Ed Gamble
We should be playing Ian Brown. Yeah, I don't play him anymore. But yeah, but, yeah, that's. But I know exactly that. That kind of catastrophizing thing of going, hey, this isn't happening, but what if it was? And let's worry about it now.
Catherine Bohart
It's exactly that. And it would be easier to take the advice to not borrow trouble from my father if he weren't such a Catholic. But it's like my guy.
Ed Gamble
Come on, come on.
Matthew Crosby
It's normally at night time for me. That's when that's when the borrowing trouble happens just before I fall asleep.
Catherine Bohart
Like Sunday scaries every night.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah.
Catherine Bohart
Do you have a little. Do you do all the things, like write things down that you have to do in a notebook on your bedside so that you stop worrying about it?
Matthew Crosby
No, that's. Yeah. Okay.
Catherine Bohart
You just have a loud list beside you to go to sleep with.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. I don't think I, I sort of. I get the logic of, of writing everything down. I used to be a sort of real list maker, but then you're just like, well, now I know exactly what I've got to worry about.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
Now I've got all of these life worries that I've got to. I'm sort of trying to solve right this second.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
It doesn't help at all.
Catherine Bohart
Also, if anything, as I turn the page to the second page of the list, I'm thinking, no one can do
Ed Gamble
this in a day. Got an A2 notepad. Ed Gamble and mother Matthew. Radio X,
Matthew Crosby
Sway on Radio X said gambler Matty Crosby with you until 11am and we're still delighted to be joined by. By the fantastic Catherine Bohart, who's new.
Catherine Bohart
What if she said suede, Difficult to clean.
Ed Gamble
Oh, my God, what a nightmare. Yeah, you can't rub a lemon on that.
Catherine Bohart
No, no, you shouldn't, you mustn't.
Matthew Crosby
You've got to use protector spray before you take it out. You've got to use a protector spray. And if there's even a 2% chance of rain. I'm not wearing that jacket.
Ed Gamble
No way.
Catherine Bohart
Which means you're never wearing that jacket because we live in the uk.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah.
Catherine Bohart
But, gosh, isn't it nice to look at in the wardrobe?
Matthew Crosby
I've got a lovely suede jacket hung in the wardrobe. I do.
Catherine Bohart
And indoors. Maybe you could wear it to an indoor if I event.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, but then how'd you get there?
Ed Gamble
Well, I tell you what I do with my sw. I've got. I've got a gorgeous suede jacket, but you know how, like, Nana's will put the sort of laminate all over all their furniture. I wear one of those at the top. So I've got a completely clear packamac. I wear the top of my suede jacket. You're looking fantastic.
Matthew Crosby
You're completely laminated day today, aren't you? Apart from your nether regions.
Ed Gamble
That's right. I, I, I, I, I need those. Yeah. The crucial areas I need to get to. They're not laminated, but, yeah, completely laminated with the Doyle on each shoulder. That's how I like to operate.
Catherine Bohart
Oh, does anyone hear a squeak? Matthew's here.
Ed Gamble
You can hear me coming a mile off. So, yes, we should. We should do the promo as well. It's katherinebohart.com if you want to get tickets. You're going to be at the Soho Theatre from 21st September to 3rd October.
Matthew Crosby
That's a long run. At the Soho Theatre.
Catherine Bohart
Two weeks.
Matthew Crosby
Two weeks.
Catherine Bohart
It's nice to bed it in. I will also be before that at the Fringe doing a whip, figuring it out. But yes, the whole theatre would be delightful.
Matthew Crosby
And can I just say, I've seen Catherine do whips before and they are fully ready shows.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, of course. You're a prepper.
Matthew Crosby
The whip is a lie with Bohar.
Catherine Bohart
I like to be prepared. I like to be prepared and well practiced. And I like. I hate the idea of showing up when people spend that much money and it not being ready.
Matthew Crosby
But it's a whip. Well, you're like, I hear Char went up to the Fringe to do a whip and won the comedy award.
Catherine Bohart
I just. Oh, I've gotten caught.
Matthew Crosby
Total nerds.
Catherine Bohart
I panicked there and got caught on my own game.
Matthew Crosby
Did you see that?
Catherine Bohart
I was like, oh, no.
Matthew Crosby
And that's what people want to see, that sort of thing at the Whip. They don't want to see a ready show.
Catherine Bohart
They'll never see it. I just think they're taking an hour of their lives and at the Fringe, I mean, they could be anywhere else.
Matthew Crosby
There's some people who appreciate seeing the process. I might be going to the Fringe
Catherine Bohart
to do a whip and they can go see the Process.
Matthew Crosby
The process.
Catherine Bohart
That's true. I've seen you lately, you've got loads of.
Matthew Crosby
No, that's very good. Well, it's fine. But, you know, there will be a lot of. I don't have an hour, certainly, so there will be a lot of stumbling around in a room that's far too big for that.
Ed Gamble
Lot of going into the crowd. Crowd. You're really hoping for someone in a funny shirt, aren't you? Absolutely.
Catherine Bohart
Or with a weird job. Fingers crossed for a weird job.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. I love weird jobs.
Ed Gamble
Weird job, funny shirt is the absolute. That's the whole show.
Matthew Crosby
Massive head.
Ed Gamble
Big head. Yes, absolutely.
Catherine Bohart
I have such a big head, though, that it's hard for me to go there with people. Like, if I. If I'm opening Gambit, what a big head you have. They're usually like, same girl.
Matthew Crosby
So that's nice. That makes it better. I think she had a tiny Little head and said, what a massive head you have.
Catherine Bohart
You're right. It's actually peer to peer. Exactly. That's lovely.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. That is a big head.
Ed Gamble
Absolutely. Well, if you've got an absolutely massive head, go along to the Soho Theatre, sit in the front Row on the 21st of September through to the 3rd of October. You're also on tour across the UK October to November. Katherinebohart.com for tickets.
Catherine Bohart
And Ireland, I must clarify.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yes.
Ed Gamble
UK and Ireland. Yes, indeed. The UK tour and Ireland tour.
Catherine Bohart
Please and thank you.
Ed Gamble
Yes. Katherine brohart.com we'd like to. I think this is a question I think you'll be able to answer, Katherine, what is something that shouldn't be embarrassing but yet is? Now, we. We ask this of a lot of our guests. There are certain things that you think it's not really embarrassing, but the more you do it, you think it kind of is. A good example we were given is people having their photograph taken in those photo booths. You know, you can see the little legs under the curtain.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
It's not embarrassing, but it is embarrassing.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Yeah.
Catherine Bohart
To have legs. No.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Just simply having legs.
Matthew Crosby
Having legs is an issue.
Catherine Bohart
And I think on a similar vein for me, falling over. Because everyone does do it.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Catherine Bohart
Or. Or choking, like all things we like people do. If you have a human body and you walking on paths or like to eat food quickly, which I do, then at some point both of those things will happen. But it's still somehow absolutely mortifying to fall over. And I. I laugh. I never go, are you okay? Yeah, I always.
Matthew Crosby
It's funny.
Catherine Bohart
Yeah, it's so funny.
Matthew Crosby
I think I've lost my. As soon as I've turned 40, I've completely lost any feelings of embarrassment around that sort of Stu. Don't care. I was on the Tube the other day and something similar happened to Matthew the other week, where I realized the train was being diverted. But I had my headphones on. Loads of people were getting off and I was like, why are they getting off? Took my headphones off and then heard what it was. Tried to make it through the doors. The doors were shutting. I was trying to claw the doors apart. Wasn't working. Someone else was on the other side trying to do it. My foot was trapped. I was like. Then trying to drag my foot out to stay on the Tube. The foot came out, my headphones fell off the little cup thing and the headphones spun across the floor. Someone had to pick out for me. Finally did that, put the headphones on, the tube started I stumbled backwards. Not one single second of embarrassment.
Catherine Bohart
Are you joking? I feel physically sick for you.
Matthew Crosby
Don't care.
Catherine Bohart
Wow.
Matthew Crosby
Couldn't care less. And there was definitely someone on there who recognized me. I was like, great story for that guy.
Catherine Bohart
Oh, my God, that's.
Ed Gamble
Great story for you.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Catherine Bohart
What an incredible capacity to just withstand life. No, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about a time that I fell over when I was 16.
Ed Gamble
16 is bad. 16's right in there.
Catherine Bohart
Devastating.
Matthew Crosby
But it's not, it's not. It's not affected you. Apart from.
Catherine Bohart
Well, it's 21 years later and I'm still losing sleep.
Matthew Crosby
But, you know, generally in your life. Matthew got his head stuck in the tube doors and his glasses popped off. How about that?
Ed Gamble
My glasses popped off and the tube carried on. Let's go back to the station, picked up the glasses, put them on, got back on the tube, realized the lenses had popped out to go back to the tube station again. It was. Yeah, but you know what?
Matthew Crosby
The other night in my kitchen, I was trying to cut a tomato, my knife wasn't sharp enough and I thought, I'm so embarrassed. No one else there.
Catherine Bohart
Okay.
Ed Gamble
No.
Catherine Bohart
That is pretty embarrassing, especially for you. That's off brand.
Matthew Crosby
I bought a new sharpener. Don't worry.
Catherine Bohart
Good man.
Ed Gamble
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X Lover.
Matthew Crosby
Still joined by the fantastic Catherine Bohart, who is on tour. Borrowing trouble. UK and Ireland tour and a big run at the Soho Theatre, 21st of September to 3rd of October. Katherinebohart.com for tickets and also work in progress at the Edinburgh Fringe, which will not be ready. Ready. It'll be crazy. You'll be all over the place.
Catherine Bohart
It'll be mad. I might even have one piece of paper up there.
Matthew Crosby
Catherine, we've got loads of questions here that we. We always ask our guests, Matthew, which one do you want to go for? Do you want to give. Give Catherine one of the hot questions on radio?
Ed Gamble
Well, I think the answer. I think I know what the answer is going to be to this, but have you ever eaten a chupa Chup from the bogs? You know, if you go into the. The, you know, if you go into a toilet.
Catherine Bohart
It took me so long to translate two parts of that.
Ed Gamble
I was like, yeah, from the toilet. Toilets.
Catherine Bohart
Oh, no. What, what do you mean? Is he just lying there?
Ed Gamble
No, no, not just lie. Not just lying there, no, more like if you go in and there is a person there who will help you with washing your hands or spray you with a little bit. No, no, no, I don't need help with.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, Matthew takes his mummy.
Catherine Bohart
It does sound like your mummy.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
No, no, there will be a. Have you. Have you been to a club where there is a. There's a person there who is.
Matthew Crosby
Fragrances.
Ed Gamble
Fragrances, They've got a little dish where you're supposed to put in, and they will often squirt the soap onto your hands for you.
Catherine Bohart
When I was in university. Yeah, I remember.
Ed Gamble
And they have. They have chupa chups with them.
Grainger Announcer
Right.
Ed Gamble
And they. Then they say, would you like to, you know, if you put. If you put your pound coin down. They also say, go and take a chupa.
Catherine Bohart
It's a question if I've ever done class A drug.
Matthew Crosby
No, no, no, no, no. Have you taken a lolly from the person in the toilets in a nightclub?
Catherine Bohart
Nope.
Ed Gamble
Would you like to.
Matthew Crosby
They will often say something obscene.
Ed Gamble
Yes. A little rude rhyme. Yeah, they'll often do a little rude rhyme to. To suggest that if you're.
Catherine Bohart
It's just a men's loo thing, I think.
Ed Gamble
Well, no, we've had confirmation from the ladies as well.
Catherine Bohart
No, in the ladies, they're always just totting at how long everybody takes.
Ed Gamble
Oh, really?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Are they like, come and hurry it up, hurry up.
Matthew Crosby
I don't know. I think maybe they took one look at you and thought, put the chupa chups away and don't say anything naughty.
Catherine Bohart
Maybe that's right.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
The prefect here.
Catherine Bohart
Hand sanitizer, Mom.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, because you're in there with the lemon and vinegar trying to clean the toilets.
Catherine Bohart
Oh, my God, I bet you those toilets are so gross. I'd love to clean them. Yeah, but in the. In the daylight, you. There's never gonna be daylight in there. You'd want to.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah, I think. I don't know, the idea of just getting down on my hands and knees. I mean, I've only got, you know, two pairs of trousers. I can't imagine I would get down my hands and knees in a toilet to scrub those toilets and not have to throw in my trousers.
Catherine Bohart
You could use your stanky pair, though.
Matthew Crosby
That's true.
Catherine Bohart
You know, put them to good use.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, but then how am I gonna know when the toilets are clean? I'm like, there's still an awful smell and it'll be coming from me.
Catherine Bohart
Listen, I just. You know, aside from the horror of them having been in that bathroom and them coming from a person who. I don't know, From a place. I don't know. My thing with lollipops is I Like it for two minutes, maybe.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. And they do last.
Catherine Bohart
Then you just like.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Catherine Bohart
Anyone.
Matthew Crosby
Eventually. No, no, No, I don't like.
Ed Gamble
They make a teeth sort of firm, don't they?
Matthew Crosby
Who's sucking them until they're finished?
Catherine Bohart
Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
Right. Eventually you get bored enough to crunch.
Ed Gamble
You gotta crunch. You gotta crunch.
Matthew Crosby
And I don't wanna crunch.
Catherine Bohart
They're stuck in there. Also, I do just think there's something very eerie about adults and lollipops, do
Ed Gamble
you know, I think unless you're Kojak, it's really. It's not. Yeah.
Matthew Crosby
It screams oral f. Fixation.
Ed Gamble
It screams. Or a fixation. I once had an Everlasting Gobstopper. I once bought an Everlasting Gobstopper.
Matthew Crosby
You still have it?
Catherine Bohart
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Well, I had to chuck it away.
Catherine Bohart
Huh.
Ed Gamble
I just couldn't. I was. I kept it in the fridge and every day I just. After school I just like, lick it until it had like one flat side. But I just. I was.
Matthew Crosby
You weren't licking it all the way around. You were licking it flat on the whole time.
Ed Gamble
I was holding it in my hand,
Catherine Bohart
like, practicing for good morning.
Ed Gamble
My wife's very lucky. Anyway. I've got a sandpaper tongue there like a cat.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, it's all flat down one side.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Anyway, Catherine Bohart is on tour. She'll be up at the Edinburgh Festival with a whip. And she'll be at the Soho Theatre from 21st September to 3rd October, then a UK and Ireland tour from October to November. Catherinebohart.com for tickets. Catherine, it's been a delight to see you.
Grainger Announcer
Thanks, James.
Ed Gamble
You're welcome. Round the flat anytime. To clean the washing machine.
Matthew Crosby
Yes.
Catherine Bohart
No, thanks.
Ed Gamble
Okay. Don't ask, don't get.
Matthew Crosby
Radio X. Oh, look at that. Weather. Gorgeous weather. Barbecue breakfast for me, I think. Tis the weather.
Ed Gamble
Oh.
Matthew Crosby
I need some sort of summer tunes to be blasting out across my new neighborhood. Let people know what I'm about. That I'm a party boy ready for summer. Let's have a little something from this band. Hmm. Gigan. Summer. Summer. Summer Day.
Ed Gamble
Not summery. It sounds like it was recorded inside a bin.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Is that. Is that a positive.
Matthew Crosby
Lovely.
Ed Gamble
That's really. That's really unpleasant stuff. And I think you're an absolute scourge on the neighborhood if you play that.
Matthew Crosby
Thank you.
Ed Gamble
Even if you. I think even if you play that in headphones inside your house with the curtains drawn, you're a scourge on the neighborhood.
Matthew Crosby
On mute.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. Even on mute.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, exactly.
Matthew Crosby
Radio X.
Grainger Announcer
When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery so you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
Ed Gamble
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Yes, indeed. Welcome back to the show. It's the final hour of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby radio show on Radio X. Very exciting hour. We're going to be doing Metal Education. I've got my fingers crossed I'm going to do well this week. I've never done it well, well, ever.
Matthew Crosby
No, no, no.
Ed Gamble
But this week could be. You've got to keep trying at these things. Got to keep. Got to keep knocking on the door, haven't you? We're also going to do what?
Matthew Crosby
What?
Ed Gamble
It wasn't supposed to be a Matthew's Big Thing.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
But we got a very good message in from a guy called Tom and
Matthew Crosby
you take so long to build it up because we.
Ed Gamble
We teased it in the first hour. We didn't have time because we had Catherine in the second hour. But now it's going to be a Matthew's Big Thing. So do you want to do.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yeah. Matthew's Big Thing. John, I don't know if you know, we. I say Matthew's Big Thing. We do a sort of cool like sound effecty thing for it to make
Ed Gamble
it seem massive on Ed's voice. We treat Ed's voice with like a kind of.
Matthew Crosby
So if you get ready to do that. Ready. Matthew's Big Thing.
Ed Gamble
Okay. I like that one actually.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, we'll stick with that.
Ed Gamble
One actually works better for us.
Matthew Crosby
We'll stick with that. I think we should all be talking like that all of the time.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, absolutely. So that is coming up in just a little bit. But first it is of course Maximo park with R Velocity here on Radio X. Radio X. Now it's time for Metal Education Radio from a Lacerin disguise radio.
Matthew Crosby
Yes, this is the feature slash quiz where I give Matthew a list of things from a category.
Ed Gamble
Yes.
Matthew Crosby
And you work out if they're real or fake or not. Not traditionally your highlight on the show.
Ed Gamble
Well, it depends what you mean by highlight.
Matthew Crosby
Content wise it's a highlight but not success wise for you.
Ed Gamble
No, no, no, I'm not very good at it.
Matthew Crosby
No, you're not very good at it,
Ed Gamble
but I have a lovely time doing it. So here we go.
Matthew Crosby
John's. You will hear it's a wonderful return for a metal education topic.
Ed Gamble
Matthew, is it?
Matthew Crosby
Hope you're well. Feels like it's time to bring back the increasingly sporadic feature. John Nettles education.
Ed Gamble
Oh, I like this. Yeah, I remember this.
Matthew Crosby
It's part four, Matthew. It's eight Midsummer Murders titles with a quick synopsis.
Ed Gamble
Great.
Matthew Crosby
Okay, you ready?
Ed Gamble
Yes.
Matthew Crosby
Here we go.
Ed Gamble
Thank you, John, for this part.
Matthew Crosby
Let's start with count your blessings. Okay.
Ed Gamble
Okay.
Matthew Crosby
Eyebrows are raised when the reclusive Count Ted Amblethorpe extends a rare invitation to the local old people's home to visit his country estate in the hamlet of Little Village Vinay. But when the elderly Matthias Mosby collapses upon seeing the Count's genital themed greenhouse, questions are raised if foul play is afoot.
Ed Gamble
Okay. Is that real? Is that fake? Number one, penis flytrap.
Matthew Crosby
Thank you.
Ed Gamble
Slightly cryptic penis fly trap, but I like it.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, but we all, we all saw where it was going in the end. Number two. Boys will be boys.
Ed Gamble
Boys will be boys.
Matthew Crosby
And that's a wonderful song. Boys. Oh, boys will be boys Boys will
Ed Gamble
be boys as in floating in the
Matthew Crosby
water Boys will be boys and you'll see why. Eccentric widow Molly Edge, the only female competitor at the annual model boating competition of Upper Mildren, dies after being electrocuted by her boat's remote control. The day before the event, the chairman of the boating club, Jeff Hibbert, invites Barnaby to investigate, where he soon discovers the jealousies and rivalries that run deep within the club. Buoys will be buoys.
Ed Gamble
Very believable. Buoys will be buoys. Okay.
Matthew Crosby
Death Strikes three. On the night following his engagement party, Brad Furbank is murdered at Godley Manor. Pecked to death by a booby trapped cuckoo clock. His fiance, Francesca Bruce, informs DCI Barnaby that Brad was living at the village pub and made his living trading bitcoin.
Ed Gamble
Bitcoin and cuckoo clocks.
Matthew Crosby
And a murderous cuckoo.
Ed Gamble
Old world and new world colliding in midsummer. Could it be? Could it be true?
Matthew Crosby
Lawn of the Dead. Wilfred Worrell, groundsman and referee for the Midsummer Deverell Lawn Bowling Club, is found murdered the day after a friendly match turned into a full blown argument when Wilfred is accused of wrongly appointing the win to veteran bowls champion Archie Pollock.
Ed Gamble
Can I have that name again?
Matthew Crosby
Archie Pollock.
Ed Gamble
Archie Pollock. Okay. Yep, I think I've got an idea for that one. That's the first one so far I feel confident about.
Matthew Crosby
Okay. A Clockwork Porridge. Confusion sweeps the town of Upper Walden when local lothario David Crofts is found dead at the windmill of Westmead Farm, having seemingly been drowned in oats during working hours. Barnaby and Troy must piece together the seemingly impossible timeline of events to solve the case. A Clockwork Porridge.
Ed Gamble
It's a very clever title if it is A Clockwork porridge.
Matthew Crosby
Sleeping with the fishes when adulterous doctor and keen fisherman Dr. Tony Asbridge. Ash Ashbridge. Not as Bridge.
Ed Gamble
Wait, it's Ashbridge.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, it's Ashbridge. I'm not referring to that. Perineum.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, of course.
Matthew Crosby
Disappears in the lake of Midsummer Walden. Rumors spread of a giant underwater monster being responsible, but a few days later, the body turns up under the ice of a display counter at Midsummer Langley. Fishmongers Wild Harvest. When the body of farmer Martin Strickland is found in woodland, it transpires that he was covered in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar. Strickland's wife Camilla said he had gone out in the night because there had recently been a theft of truffles valued at £10,000, and also claims he recently fell out with local celebrity chef Ruth Cameron.
Ed Gamble
Is this the second Strickland we've had? It feels like Martin Strickland died twice in this quiz.
Matthew Crosby
Send in the clowns. Terry Bellini, AKA Groucho the Clown, is shot dead while performing, having earlier informed everyone that he had been offered another role as a rival circus. Things get worse when Curtis Ferebee, brother of the ringmaster Joe Ferebee, who wanted to get rid of circus completely, is found murdered at his own abattoir. But the circus lives on.
Ed Gamble
The fact that some of these are real has made me realize I've gotta get back to watching this summer because, you know, I watched a couple of episodes as a joke when we did the last Nettles Education and I was completely hooked. Completely hooked. And why wouldn't you be with us?
Matthew Crosby
Thank you for sending those in, John. We'll have the answers just after Royal
Ed Gamble
Blood Mask, you crobly. And Radio Ed. Radio X. I don't know Radio from a Lazarus Guy.
Matthew Crosby
Radio X, that's right. A little bit earlier on, I gave Matthew eight Midsummer Murders titles and synopses as sent in by John. And some of them are real, some of them are fake. Matthew is now going to tell me which he thinks are real, which he thinks are fake. It's a possible eight answers, Matthew.
Ed Gamble
Yes.
Matthew Crosby
Okay, here we go. Eight points. Here we go. Count your Blessings. That was the elderly Matthias Mosby collapsing upon seeing a genital themed greenhouse. And foul play is afoot. Penis fly trap.
Ed Gamble
Sadly, I believe that is fake.
Matthew Crosby
Number one, Fenis Plytrap.
Ed Gamble
Number one, penis fly trap.
Matthew Crosby
That is fake, Matthew. Well done. Boys will be boys. This is the boating competition. Someone being electrocuted by the remote control and jealousies and rivalries that run deep within the boating.
Ed Gamble
I believe that to be real.
Matthew Crosby
That is fake. So we're off to a bad start.
Ed Gamble
It's a bad start there. Bad start.
Matthew Crosby
Death Strikes three. This is Brad Furbank being pecked to death by a booby trapped cuckoo clock. And he was living in the village pub trading bitcoin.
Ed Gamble
The bitcoin is the bit I don't believe I'm gonna say that's fake.
Matthew Crosby
But you believe the peck to death by.
Ed Gamble
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pure Midsummer. Yeah, but I think bitcoin's not real.
Matthew Crosby
Okay, it is real, Matthew.
Ed Gamble
There we go. Didn't do very well on that one, did. No, completely wrong.
Matthew Crosby
So one out of three so far. One out of three.
Ed Gamble
And it's the one that.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. Is always fake. Yeah. Lawn of the Dead. This is the bowls club. The groundskeeper is found dead.
Ed Gamble
I believe that to be real.
Matthew Crosby
That is real, Matthew. There we go. Okay, this is how we play a clockwork porridge. This is of course David Crofts was found dead in oats.
Ed Gamble
I think that is fake.
Matthew Crosby
That is fake, Matthew. Yes. Although if you do write for Midsummer Murders and you're listening, you can just take that wholesale.
Ed Gamble
Clock porridge is fantastic.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. Sleeping with the Fishes. This is a doctor disappearing in a lake and then turning up under the ice of the display counter of Midsummer Langley Fishmongers.
Ed Gamble
I think that's real.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, it's fake. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Ed Gamble
Nevermind, nevermind. It was one or the other, wasn't it? Yeah, it was one or the other. So I don't feel too bad.
Matthew Crosby
Wild Harvest.
Ed Gamble
I was almost right in a way. If I'd said the other answer, I would have been right.
Matthew Crosby
Wild Harvest. This is the body of a farmer being covered in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar.
Ed Gamble
I think that's fake.
Matthew Crosby
No, that's real.
Ed Gamble
Oh, no. I've got to start watching this show
Matthew Crosby
and finally send in the clowns. This is the clown that's been killed because he's talking about moving to a rival circus.
Ed Gamble
That's real.
Matthew Crosby
That is real, Matthew. How many did you get?
Ed Gamble
I think I got four.
Matthew Crosby
That's. Well, you Got three. Because we don't even count.
Ed Gamble
I got three.
Matthew Crosby
That's real bad, Matthew.
Ed Gamble
That's really bad. I'm getting worse at this game. How is that the case? Because I just. My brain's dying a bit.
Matthew Crosby
Cognitive decline.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, that's what it is, isn't it? It's a real shame. Radio X, Dead Boy and Soupy Ghost. The Verve.
Matthew Crosby
Wow, that's good, John. You can do all loads of sound effects, can't you, on the microphone.
Ed Gamble
I did the voice without even realizing it.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, the Verve. The Verve. We should do Matthew's big thing now. Because we should. It's nearly the end of the show. We've still not done this email that you mentioned in the first. Probably the first link.
Ed Gamble
I think it might have been the first link. It's very good. Yeah, it's a very good email.
Matthew Crosby
Okay, you ready? I'm gonna do the intro for you.
Ed Gamble
Yeah, yeah.
Matthew Crosby
Matthew's big thing.
Ed Gamble
So this is a lovely message we've had in from Tom about moving disasters. Yeah, that was good. By the way, the little chuckle as well. Tom writes. Hello, lads. A few years ago my girlfriend and I bought.
Matthew Crosby
Don't mind if I do.
Ed Gamble
Don't mind if I do. But we bought our first flat together. Congratulations on the day. Congratulations to them. In the day we moved in, we arrived to find our sitting room wall dripping with some sort of wet, viscous gunk, like pale pink ectoplasm.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, my God. Ghostbusters.
Ed Gamble
It's very Ghostbusters. I desperately started trying to mop it up while my girlfriend ran upstairs to see whether it was coming from another flat. A few minutes later she came back looking shell shocked. It turned out our upstairs neighbor was giving birth.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, my God.
Ed Gamble
I told you it was worth waiting for. Didn't I tell you it was worth waiting for? Our upstairs neighbor was giving birth and that our flat was being slowly flooded with water and amniotic fluid leaking from her birthing pool. Love.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, my God.
Ed Gamble
I tell you what, we couldn't have done that in the first hour. There was no show left. Tom, that was absolutely amazing.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, I mean, and the day they moved in as well.
Ed Gamble
They moved in pouring down the water walls.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, my God. Womb slop.
Ed Gamble
Woom slop.
Matthew Crosby
Playing them next week for Mattal Uncle.
Ed Gamble
Can't wait to hear them. But yeah, thank you, Tom. If you would like to send an email into us sundayadiox.co.uk but the bar is very high. The bar is very, very high. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Vroom. Broom and honk Honk.
Matthew Crosby
Ed Gambler Matthew Crosby saying goodbye for another week.
Ed Gamble
Yes, indeed. Goodbye, everybody. It's been an absolute delight to broadcast for you. Huge thanks to Catherine Bohart.
Matthew Crosby
Yes, thank you for coming in, Catherine.
Ed Gamble
She's gone now, but.
Matthew Crosby
Oh, yeah, bye. Oh, bye. Rude.
Ed Gamble
So rude. I'm so sorry. I would have assumed she'd just sit there in silence for the last hour of the show.
Matthew Crosby
Unbelievable.
Ed Gamble
Let's discuss these modern comedians. You know, if you'd booked a Jimmy Tarbach, he would have sat there like a good boy and he would have
Matthew Crosby
been here before we arrived.
Ed Gamble
He would have been here. He would have been broadcasting for us. Yeah. If you do get a chance to go and see Katherine, then you should absolutely take it.
Matthew Crosby
It's one of the best.
Ed Gamble
One of the best. Thank you very much to producer John. Thank you very much, John.
Matthew Crosby
John's here with us next week as well, of course.
Ed Gamble
Of course. Covering for Vin while he goes off and does his crazy world tour.
Matthew Crosby
Cheeky little dark tourism.
Ed Gamble
Cheeky little dark tour. But, yes. But also, most of all, thanks to you, the listener. We will be back next week, 8am on a Sunday. Or you can get the podcast for even more stuff. See you very soon.
Matthew Crosby
Stick around for Big DW by suits
Ed Gamble
from a mushy Shepherd's Bush Bush
Matthew Crosby
no
Ed Gamble
Income Tax Radio X.
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Ed Gamble
Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.
Matthew Crosby
Well, there we are.
Ed Gamble
There we are.
Matthew Crosby
All done.
Ed Gamble
Can I tell you I've got a Beck wreck, though.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, cool.
Ed Gamble
Got an actual Beck wreck. I'm listening to a podcast that is total trash at the moment and I'm loving it. And it is called Love Trap.
Matthew Crosby
It's emblematic.
Ed Gamble
No, no, this is actually. This. This. The episodes of this are long. It's called Love Trapped and it is about a. It's about the most hated ever contestant on the Bachelor who then got entrapped by a woman. You know, she was claiming she was pregnant with his baby. It couldn't be more trashy.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, you don't really sell that to me anymore, Matthew.
Ed Gamble
I'm loving it.
Matthew Crosby
I'll be listening to that. I've been listening to Mariana in Conspiracy Land.
Ed Gamble
Oh, I really like that.
Matthew Crosby
Really good.
Ed Gamble
She's got another podcast as well, which is called, Let me tell you, which is really, really, really fantastic. It's called Top Comment.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, that's what Mariana and Conspiracy lands on.
Ed Gamble
Oh, is that what it is now?
Matthew Crosby
It's part of that, yes.
Ed Gamble
Top Comment is fantastic. It's brilliant.
Matthew Crosby
So, yeah, we don't have the Internet in our house yet, so I've been watching normal telly.
Ed Gamble
Oh, my God. What are you watching?
Matthew Crosby
Well, I've been occasionally catching up with Married and Married at first sight. Australia, of course. Awful. Not a recommendation.
Ed Gamble
I mean, that is trash.
Matthew Crosby
Some of the worst people on the planet.
Ed Gamble
Awful people.
Matthew Crosby
And I watched the documentary about the Salisbury poisonings last night.
Ed Gamble
Oh, really?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, really good.
Ed Gamble
And what do you think? Do you think they were just going to look at a big spire? Yeah, I think they were.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
I believe them.
Matthew Crosby
I think it was food poisoning.
Ed Gamble
Yeah. And John, what have you been watching and listening to? I have recently gotten a Sky subscription and I've mainly been using it to watch. Nothing to declare. Nothing to declare. The show is on, like, constantly.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, yeah.
Ed Gamble
It's just never not off the telly. Yep. There are certain channels that just show that. Yeah, why not?
Matthew Crosby
Yeah, why not? I think an Escape to the sun channel. And RTV keeps coming onto a channel that has action movies 24 hours a day.
Ed Gamble
Oh, fun.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Pinned as my top channel on Sky.
Matthew Crosby
Go on.
Ed Gamble
Homes under the hammer 24 7.
Matthew Crosby
Fantastic.
Ed Gamble
You're a fantastic Saturday.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
But you know what? Very happy.
Matthew Crosby
Pinned. You've pinned it.
Ed Gamble
You've pinned it. You don't want to lose that. Yeah, I'm so happy. You don't want to lose that. You don't always a second of time. You don't want to get RSI scrolling Channel.
Matthew Crosby
That would just disappear as well.
Ed Gamble
Oh, yeah, that'll be moving all over the place.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah.
Ed Gamble
Constant. Well, constantly. Right, Have a wonderful week, everybody.
Matthew Crosby
Yeah. We've got to do another one.
Ed Gamble
We've got to do another one. Toby Tarrant's on the show next week.
Matthew Crosby
Bye.
Ed Gamble
Bye. Gray D O X.
Grainger Announcer
When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery. So you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.
Original Airdate: May 17, 2026
Hosts: Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby (AKA Crunch & Crumble)
Guest: Catherine Bohart
Producer: John (sitting in for Vin)
This episode is a characteristically whimsical, offbeat, and irreverent Sunday morning show. Ed and Matthew riff on their lack of radio polish, new trousers, barbecue mishaps, and feature a hilarious deep-dive guest spot with stand-up comedian Catherine Bohart. Other highlights include bizarre business ideas (like Deliveroo for trousers), an enthusiastic debate about laundry machines, and one of the show’s staple segments, "Metal Education," which this week revolves around outlandish Midsomer Murders plots.
00:40 – 04:00
04:00 – 05:00
06:00 – 08:30
09:00 – 15:00
“This is not an update, Matthew. This is a fantasy you have in your head.”
— Matthew Crosby (12:34)
15:10 – 17:00
17:40 – 20:40
21:22 – 33:00
“Do you want to come around my house?”
— Ed Gamble, inviting Catherine to clean his washing machine (24:21)“I certainly feel compelled to [clean], compulsively, yes.”
— Catherine Bohart (24:14)
25:15 – 30:10
30:28 – 33:15
33:45 – 36:40
39:14 – 48:12
48:50 – 50:10
52:06 – 54:45
The episode is a masterclass in UK comedy double-act riffing: playful, silly, conversational, with an undercurrent of absurdity and the self-aware incompetence that makes Ed and Matthew’s brunch shows so beloved. Even their “serious” guest interview gently spirals into the weird, mundane, or slightly gross.
In summary:
A quintessential “Crunch & Crumble” episode mixing domestic disaster, fashion failure, DIY business pitches, and deadpan gamesmanship, all peaking with a delightfully daft guest spot from Catherine Bohart and capped with the immortal tale of "womb slop."
If you missed it, you missed roast lettuce, Dewalt cargo pants, and some of the best lollipop etiquette advice radio can offer.