Episode 360 - Toby Tarrant / Cue-Go Hugo

Summary

Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 360 – Toby Tarrant / Cue-Go Hugo
Date: May 24, 2026
Main Theme:
A classic Sunday breakfast blend of irreverent comedy, listener stories, absurd quizzes, and a behind-the-scenes look at both Ed and Matthew’s chaotic lives. This week’s episode features comedian and Radio X host Toby Tarrant, plus tangents on gym mishaps, frazzled holidays, and heavy metal education. The tone is playful, self-deprecating, and relentlessly silly.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Art of Pre-Recording & Job Comparisons

• Ed and Matthew open bemoaning their hectic run of pre-recorded shows, jokingly comparing their cushy gig to more worthy professions:
  • Ed: "A nurse couldn't do this. This is a real skill that we...occasionally, one of us exhibits that skill." (01:11)
  • Matthew: "This is where we get to sort of turn off the skills." (01:28)
• Shortly afterward, they reverse and admit nurses probably could do the job, ending with:
  • Matthew: "Anyone could do this. Yeah, yeah. Without complaining as well." (01:34)

2. Listener Correspondence, Bins and Snail Trails

• Listener Email (Harry) shares tales from a Nearly Dan gig, featuring mistaken identity, blue pork pie hats, and tribute band admiration. Matthew gives a "huge Beck ren" to both Steely Dan and Nearly Dan (02:59).
• Topic Launch: Ed invents a segment about the weirdest things found in listeners' bins, encouraging audience interaction via text, WhatsApp, and even snail mail (03:47–04:30).
  • Ed: "If you are a snail, how do you feel about being used to describe slow things?" (04:21)
  • Philosophical digression: “Are you Team Aesop or Team Aesop?” (04:34)

3. Soap Exfoliation and Masculinity

• An absurd discussion about gritty exfoliating soaps, with Ed poking fun at the desire to appear "handy":
  • Ed: "If I want grit, I'll go and put my hand in the gutter." (05:38)
  • Matthew: "It's to soften the hands, the little gritty."
  • Ed: "...You're trying to rough your hands up so the next time you hold hands with a woman...She thinks that you’re a bit handy." (06:00)

4. Special Guest: Toby Tarrant

• Preview of Toby Tarrant’s arrival and his upcoming run at the Edinburgh Fringe as a newly minted stand-up.
  • Ed: “We have big radio lads nights out...talking about TikTok and the end of modern media. Cancel culture, of course…” (07:07)
  • Toby’s relationships with Ed and Matthew threaded throughout the show.

5. Matthew's Gym Return and the E-Gym Saga

• Matthew shares his experience rejoining the gym and using "E-Gym"—a futuristic, pensioner-populated workout circuit (09:06–12:24).
  • Matthew: “Alex said that she hadn’t seen a body like it. She said, 'this is the best body I’ve seen.'" (11:12)
  • Comically boasts about having a biological age of 31.
  • Ed: "And she's an 85 year old penis." (11:33, joke)

6. Holiday Dread: The Centre Parcs Experience

• Matthew is returning to Center Parcs despite universally hating it last time. He plays a “supercut” of previous complaints (15:51).
  • Ed: “Your kids didn’t like it. You didn’t like it. Your wife didn’t like it. The food was awful. The drinks were awful. The activities didn’t go well.” (15:13)
  • Matthew vows to "do battle" with Center Parcs, hoping to have a better experience, but Ed is skeptical: “Centre Parks is like a casino. The house always wins.” (19:52)
• Replay of Matthew’s previous gripes:
  • “We went to a big prison. Designed for kids crowded in with a load of strangers through a giant contact lens. It’s like the Stanford prison experiment.” (16:25)

7. Metal Education Quiz: Snooker Nicknames Edition

• A long-running parody game where Ed quizzes Matthew on real or fake snooker player nicknames (20:46–27:32).
  • Highlights:
    • "Double 0-147" for Nigel Bond, "The Sheriff of Pottingham," etc.
    • Matthew: “If that's real, then fair play to Lee Walker, the French hiker.” (22:25)
  • Matthew scores 11 out of 12, heartbreakingly missing only “Hugo, Cue-Go.”

8. Listeners’ Glasses Mishaps & Banter about Looks

• Listener Ian’s tales of losing his glasses in wild situations (30:07), including a girl stealing them in a nightclub and being compared to Velma from Scooby Doo.
• Extended running joke about “ugly listeners” and beauty:
  • Ed: “Some people are very ugly.”
  • Matthew: “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, obviously, if you’re a very ugly person, we’re not talking to you…you disgusting freak.” (29:40)
  • Subversive, ultimately affectionate riff on self-image.

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Interview: Toby Tarrant on Stand-up, the Edinburgh Fringe, and Silly Shows

Edinburgh Plans and Anxieties

• Toby is both excited and nervous for his first Edinburgh run, doing 10 days at the Gilded Saloon, a new Gilded Balloon venue (35:49).
  • Toby: “At the time of recording I've done six shows. You two have probably got a few more…”
  • Ed: “Norwich has a real community of comedy lovers…always fun shows.” (35:24)
  • Toby worried about the low ceiling in his venue: “There is a big vent across. You know you’re doing a good room when there’s a big vent.” (36:43)

What Is the Show?

• Toby’s hour has no theme, and that’s the point:
  • Toby: “Mine is an hour of me telling some stupid stories, attempting to crack some jokes…and I’ve promised there’ll be no politics, current affairs or anything remotely important or useful. You will leave stupider than you arrived.” (41:09)
  • Ed: “I think there’s a gap in the market for that…People can’t go and watch five shows a day with a heavy theme.” (41:13)
  • Matthew: “Just say anything you mentioned earlier in the show and people think it’s a clever ending.” (41:31)

“Big Three” Promo Questions

• Worst Heckle?
  • Limited experience so far: “Not enough [heckles]. I sort of need to just get abused by a crowd…I need to plant someone in the crowd who just hurls abuse—someone who knows the stuff that will hurt.” (44:50)
• If Your Show Was a Radio DJ:
  • Toby: “Probably a less-informed Johnny Vaughn…sort of soup.” (45:16)
• 17 Words and a Noise:
  • After counting out loud and pausing: “Oh, no, 16 tickets…[unintelligible noise].” (46:15)
  • Matthew: “That’s actually a proper promo.” (46:44)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Matthew on Center Parcs: “When you come back from a holiday and you’re just knackered and want to die?” (16:15)
• Ed on ugly listeners, facetiously: “Some of you, you look like your insides are on your outsides. That’s how ugly you are.” (29:52)
• Toby (on his show): “If Johnny Vaughn…hit his head and his brain sort of became sort of soup, then that would be my show.” (45:31)
• Matthew on optimism:
  • Ed: “You’re positive to the point of delusion.”
  • Matthew: “Yeah, yeah.”
  • Ed: “Thick. Thick.”
  • Matthew: “And I’m ugly as thick.” (47:41)
• On AI podcasts:
  • Ed: “AI could not produce something this poor. This is how we beat AI—by being total, total rubbish.” (50:16)
  • Matthew: “This is all feeding into the AI algorithm, and eventually it will learn how to be rubbish. It will destroy itself.” (50:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------|--------------| | Job comparison/Pre-recorded intro | 00:40–01:37 | | Listener Nearly Dan email | 01:40–02:49 | | “Weird things in bins” segment | 03:05–04:30 | | Soap exfoliation chat | 05:04–06:39 | | Matthew’s Gym/E-Gym Story | 08:58–12:24 | | Centre Parcs horror/compilation | 14:14–19:49 | | Metal Education Snooker Quiz | 20:46–27:32 | | Glasses mishaps & “ugly” jokes | 28:15–30:32 | | Interview: Toby Tarrant | 32:32–46:48 | | Smash Mouth/Nonsense on air | 42:58–44:01 | | Show wrap-up, Centre Parcs tease | 47:02–47:45 | | Podcast rec & AI rant | 49:29–50:32 |

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Summary:

This episode exemplifies Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby’s chaotic but lovable style—rambling anecdotes, wordplay, mock arguments, and left-field listener engagement. The show gently mocks their lack of professionalism and boasts the kind of unfiltered rapport only real-life friends (and experienced stand-ups) can create. Special guest Toby Tarrant slots right into the mayhem, offering behind-the-scenes radio tales and nervous excitement about his Fringe debut. Full of quotable oddness (“Anyone could do this. Yeah, yeah. Without complaining as well.”), affectionate self-deprecation, and meta radio jokes, it’s a perfect “proper breakfast show presented by two comedians with relatively little radio experience”—but far better than it sounds.

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For fans of playful banter, lampooning of themselves and their jobs, daft quizzes, listener participation, and a taste of UK comedy behind the scenes, this episode delivers wall-to-wall entertainment.

Transcript

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[Matthew Crosby]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, here's the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really eager. Really eager. Once again, that's.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the fifth pre record we've done, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

In a row. In a row. We did three. One day and two today.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. It's been a lot. It's been a lot for us and I know there are people with actual real heart jobs to do, but we've never been those people and we don't understand how it works.

[Ed Gamble]

No. And those. I can't stress enough. Those people couldn't do this job.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, they couldn't do this.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm all for saying, oh, it's not a really hard job compared to people actually working hard, but honestly, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

A nurse couldn't do this.

[Matthew Crosby]

A nurse couldn't do this. This is a real skill that we. Occasionally, one of us exhibits that skill.

[Toby Tarrant]

Not all the time.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, not. Not heavily on this, I don't think.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no.

[Ed Gamble]

I think we both have other jobs where we exhibit skills.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

This isn't. This is. Not this one.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is where we get to sort of turn off the skills.

[Ed Gamble]

A nurse could do this, actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, I bet there's loads of nurses that could do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyone could do this. Yeah, yeah. Without complaining as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

They'd love it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very, very quickly, do an email here from Harry who said, hello, Ed, Matthew and Vin McCool. Well, it's DJ. It's DJ John. It's DJ John this week. He insistently called DJ John producer John last week, but this week is DJ John. I went to see Nearly Dan a few weeks ago at the Jazz Cafe because my dad's friend cancelled on him and I thought I'd share my notes. I was lukewarm about going in the first place, but when they came out and said, don't worry, we'll be playing Steely Dan songs for two hours, I was worried. The keyboard player was wearing a blue pork pie. Blue pork pie hat, which is surely not acceptable. The lead guitarist did something very rock and roll. In the second half of the gig, he unbuttoned his plaid shirt and revealed he'd been wearing a plain black T shirt underneath the whole time. This is my favorite detail. I thought I saw Matthew at the front, but it was actually a five foot tall middle aged woman.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, that's the haircut.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the haircut, isn't it? Yeah. I'm gutted to have missed this gig. I love, I love seeing Neely down. Surprisingly, there were quite a lot of young people mixed in with the Crosbys of the room. All jokes aside, they were actually really good. Matthew might be right. Best of luck in the charts and happy radio, lads. Don't mind if I do, Harry. You're absolutely right. Steely Dan are a fantastic band and Nearly Dan are a fantastic tribute act if you get a chance to see them. That's a huge Beck ren from me. But now, on with the show.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, you know what this means. It's Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on radio X. It's D.J. ed in the house. And as I gently ascend my voice, I can see Matthew Skin crawling. DJ Ed and the hairy little toad with you until 11am Plenty to come on the show. We'll be hearing from some bin men. Some bin men are gonna be getting in contact, doing their Sunday rounds. That's right. You'll be aware that bin men now do Sundays, but it's a surprise system where they put something in your bin after they take it out. We'll be speaking to listeners who have found some pretty weird things in their bins. What's the weirdest thing you've ever found in your bin?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's good.

[Ed Gamble]

Get in contact 83936 on the text. Get yourself onto Global Player. You can use WhatsApp. WhatsApp. I. I'm not too across WhatsApp myself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, you'd love it.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no, no, no. What happened to letters? Get in contact 83936 on the text, WhatsApp on the global Player. Or send us a letter. The old snail mail. The snail trail. Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you like the snail trail?

[Ed Gamble]

Get in contact if you've got a snail trail.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think a lot of people do. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we'll get in contact.

[Matthew Crosby]

Switchboard's gonna light up now after that.

[Ed Gamble]

If you are a snail, how do you feel about being used to describe slow things?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a good point, actually. Yeah. How do snails feel?

[Ed Gamble]

The tortoise and the hare. It's the tortoise who wins.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What about the snail. Think about the snail versus the cheetah. Another great parable from Aesop or Aesop. Are you Team Aesop or Team Aesop? Get in contact. Difficult one to text in

[Matthew Crosby]

because it's

[Ed Gamble]

the same word written down.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just text us either E or A.

[Ed Gamble]

Call us.

[Matthew Crosby]

Call us.

[Ed Gamble]

Call us on Matthew's mobile.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. I'm not going to give out my full number on the air, but you can pretty guess it.

[Ed Gamble]

This is why we will never win those awards, Matthew. But

[Matthew Crosby]

do you think it'd be award winning if I gave out my mobile number on the air?

[Ed Gamble]

I do. It'd be something.

[Matthew Crosby]

It'd be something.

[Ed Gamble]

All right, call us. Just call us in the studio getting. Are you Aesop?

[Matthew Crosby]

No one's esap.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, we don't know.

[Matthew Crosby]

We don't know until we. Until we get the calls. We'll wait for the switch.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not talking about the fancy soap shop. Delicious. Well, you can go and spend 11 quid on a soap.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's expensive, but oh my God, it's worth it. Do you know the one I like, D.J. ed? The one that exfoliates your hands. You're not expecting it. Do you know that stuff? That's a bit. It's a bit gritty.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, well, if I want. If I want grit, I'll go and put my hand in the gutter, you know. Yes, but I want something soft for my hands. My soft.

[Matthew Crosby]

But the gutter stinks.

[Ed Gamble]

The problem with you people who've never done a bloomin day's work in your life, if you need grit on your soap to make it feel like you've been doing some manual labour, it's to soften that.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's quite the opposite. It's to soften the hands, the little gritty.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. You're trying to rough your hands up so the next time you hold hands with a woman.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

She thinks that you're a bit handy.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think that's.

[Ed Gamble]

That's why people use it.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not what we use.

[Ed Gamble]

Otherwise. If a lady was holding hands with you, do you think you were a wee Ben?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's true. And I'm small as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Also she could look. She could look. But what if not everyone can see.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, that's true.

[Ed Gamble]

I've done sensitivity training here at Global and that's day one. Not everyone can see. Please don't reference everyone being able to see.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not everyone has hands.

[Ed Gamble]

Not everyone has hands. But no soap is going to help that.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I'm afraid not. If anything, the last thing you want is exfoliating.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you don't want to be eroding. What you've got, like Dover, the Cliffs of Dover.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got a guest on the show this week, D.J. ed. Do you wanna. Do you wanna promo him?

[Ed Gamble]

The bin man?

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no. We've got Toby Tarrant coming up on the show today.

[Ed Gamble]

Toby Tarrant, good friend of mine. Actually, we get together, we have big radio lads nights out. We'll head down to the local. The local Young's Pub, of course, and we'll get ourselves a pint of special and we'll just while away the day. We'll be talking about TikTok and we'd be talking about the end of modern media.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Cancel Culture.

[Ed Gamble]

Cancel culture, of course. And let me tell you, you'd love to be a fly on the wall in those places. But the pub we go to, the Woman's Arms. No flies on that wall. Very clean place at the Woman's Arms.

[Matthew Crosby]

Beautifully exfoliated as well.

[Ed Gamble]

The Woman's Arms. So exfoliating. I will keep talking if you'd like me to, but. Or we could play a song.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let's play Fontaine's dc.

[Ed Gamble]

Fontaine's dc, of course. Good friends of mine.

[Matthew Crosby]

You often see them down the woman's Arms, don't you?

[Ed Gamble]

I see them down the woman's Arms. They sit at the elbow.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, of course they do. Well, they're right in the crook. This is Fontaine's DC with favorites here on Radio X. Radio X. Mumford and Sons here on Radio X. It's a tiring. Listening to Mumford and Sons.

[Ed Gamble]

No, doing tj, Ed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, is it? Are you. You a husk now?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Ed Gambler, Matthew Crosby, and we were joined for the first link, which I believe was the longest link we've ever done on the radio, which was basically, it started off with DJ Ed and it.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't really remember anything I said. I sort of just.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're sort of. It's a bit like when Derek Acora used to channel the spirits.

[Ed Gamble]

My eyes slip back.

[Matthew Crosby]

Your eyes roll back into your head and a different voice comes out of you. And then when you. Then you're. You're physically drained.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

After the process.

[Ed Gamble]

Similar to that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I. I think eventually it's who you're going to become.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And it's by eventually I mean within the next three hours.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's who you are.

[Ed Gamble]

I think I've got the energy to be dj.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, Listen, we've got. We've got a fantastic DJ on the show.

[Ed Gamble]

We do. We've got Toby Tarrant coming up as. I wonder how we got him, how

[Matthew Crosby]

did we book him? Who's his agent? But, yeah, we've got Toby Tarrant of Radio X coming up. But I wanted to tell you about what I've been up to recently.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know if you've noticed, you can see me in my short sleeves here, but I've. I've rejoined the gym. I'm back to the gym now.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know if you noticed my short sleeves, but I'm wearing a T shirt because that's the only thing I can notice from that.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I've. I'm. Can you not see how built I am as a result of going to the gym this week?

[Ed Gamble]

You're always very well built. You're a. You're a lean, mean, fighting machine, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, this is what I found out because I did two inductions at the gym. I did my first one with Greg. We had a great time when Greg showed me around the different levels of the gym, all the different equipment I could use. Really, really. And he knew everybody as well, so it really felt like a community.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He was going, oh, yeah, well done, Caroline. Doing a great job over there. Yeah, I knew everybody. I was thinking, I want to be little woman, baffled.

[Ed Gamble]

Not called Caroline.

[Matthew Crosby]

Caroline.

[Ed Gamble]

He doesn't work there.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I. I'm really, really excited for when Greg walks past me and goes, well done, Matthew. Great for him, you know. But then he said, oh, there's this thing in the middle of the gym called the E Gym.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And if you want, you can do a separate induction for that. So I booked an induction with Alex to do the E gym and it

[Ed Gamble]

was where you just drop an aki and go mad.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, no, no. He did tell me that E stands for electronic. So Greg told me it's Egypt like it would for email.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it? What a horrible feeling when, you know, you read old.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, well, EGYM is right. It's brilliant, it's amazing. It's the cutting edge of technology, but it is only pensioners who use it. It's me and pensioners. And it's basically, it's like eight different bits of equipment and you tap your card on it and it knows you.

[Toby Tarrant]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it conforms to your body and it conforms to the weight level that you're at. And. And you just, you know, you do little circuits of this, this thing, and it's and it's me and all the other pensioners.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, wiping our equipment down for all this stuff that's pouring off our bodies. But, yeah, I love it. But the best thing about the, the, the egym thing, the, the, the induction was they give you like a, like a, like a body scan beforehand and they tell you what your body's like.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And, and Alex said that she hadn't seen a body like it. She genuinely did. She said, I've not seen a body like it. She said.

[Ed Gamble]

And did you get any more details from her about that?

[Matthew Crosby]

She said you should in a museum. No, she, she said, oh, freak show. This is the best body I've done. She, she said that.

[Ed Gamble]

The best body she's done.

[Matthew Crosby]

She said, this is the best one I've seen.

[Ed Gamble]

And everyone else using the egym is pensioner.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, she said, this is the best. But I, I got my biological age.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So they, they told me my biological age.

[Ed Gamble]

Those things work.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well. I'm choosing to believe they work because my. Apparently I've got, I've got a body that is 31 years old.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you're in good, you're in good nick.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got a 31 year old body.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And, and she's an 85 year old penis.

[Matthew Crosby]

From that, she said, good news, your biological penis age. I've never seen one so young, basically newborn. They did scan. It's like, it's actually a bit like when they scan you to go in the airport, you know, you could do that little pose.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And they scan you and they're like, oh, yeah, that's what it looks like. But yeah, yeah, Alex. Very impressed with my body. She was very impressed with my body.

[Ed Gamble]

She said she'd never seen a body like it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very impressed with my body is what she was. And she said that, yeah, I've got a great metabolism. She said, even just like just walking around and breathing and sleeping. My body is already working. And I thought, well, why have I got a gym membership?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. You're convincing me out of this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, this is it. I thought spending 50 pounds on this, I could be saving my money and just go for a nap. If I slept all the time, I'd be like, Joe Wicks, the body Coach.

[Ed Gamble]

You burn 8,000 calories.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely. Yeah. So anyway, yes, I'm going to be, over the next few weeks, you're going to see me get Tonka and Tonka.

[Ed Gamble]

Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm going to be.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm going to be turning into a vanilla bean.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, that's what I'm going to be. I'm going to be like a vanilla bean with a couple of bits of biltong sticking out of it and toy trucks. Gonna look absolutely, absolutely amazing. Yes. So still to come on the show, we've got the brilliant Toby Tarrant. He's going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival because he's a stand up comedian now.

[Ed Gamble]

He is.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's a stand up comedian. We've also got some very exciting holiday news, so stick around for that. Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, God, it's bright again. Getting fed up of this now. It doesn't feel very heavy metal being so bright and spring like outside. It's annoying. I just want to sleep. It should be dark and horrible pouring through the window. This plumbing, sunlight. You know what I wish it was, Matthew? What's that? I wish it was sunless.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, fair play to you, Ed. You have over the last few weeks picked some app. Absolute horror show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been enjoying it though.

[Matthew Crosby]

Disgusting.

[Ed Gamble]

I've been enjoying it. Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really.

[Ed Gamble]

Honestly, do you not like this?

[Matthew Crosby]

No. That was an absolute cacophony. What they called sunless.

[Ed Gamble]

Sunless.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, thank God. Soundless is the way I'd like it. Thank you very much.

[Radio X Announcer]

Crunch and crumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X.

[Radio X Announcer]

Is this a riddle or is this a nightmare?

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, as I promised earlier on, I can tell you I'm. I'm going on holiday for the half term. In a few weeks time, I'm going back to Center Parks.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew, you hated it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now listen here, here me out, okay? I went a couple of years ago to Center Parks and it was tough. Yeah, it was grueling. It was. I would imagine it's. I've never been enlisted in the army, but it had a full metal barracks.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you're in barracks.

[Matthew Crosby]

You are in barracks. Yeah, yeah. Well, they're chalets, they're lodges.

[Ed Gamble]

And your daughters put soap in a pillowcase and beat you in the night, didn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

That's right. She did do that. She did do that. She's, she's, you know, everything's a phase and she's grown out of that one. But yeah, it was hard going, but I feel like this time it's gonna be really, really good.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's this positivity that really makes you a total fool.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew, I am a total fool, but I just feel like, I feel like I've got some unfinished business with center parks. Right.

[Ed Gamble]

From what I could tell about Center Parks is your kids didn't like it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep.

[Ed Gamble]

You didn't like it. Your wife didn't like it. The food was awful. The drinks were awful.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

The activities didn't go well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Yeah, that's right. That's. That's right. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I felt there was no. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.

[Matthew Crosby]

I fell asleep at the wheel on the drive home and nearly had a car crash.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, of course.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was awesome. Yeah. So, well, let's. Let's. Let's revisit that because I thought, just to remind me. Yeah, obviously it's booked now. Yeah, we're going. But I remembered I had talked.

[Ed Gamble]

That is not necessarily true with your holidays.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, that's true. We booked it. The money's gone. Let's say that much. The money's definitely gone.

[Ed Gamble]

You've wasted your money.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, the money's gone. But I remembered that I had talked about it last time I come back from Centre Parks and talked all about it. So I asked producer John, would you make us a little sort of a little compilation. Compilation. A little. A little super cut of some of the things I talked about. Now, I've not heard this, so let's have a listen to what I said last time about Centre Parks. You know how when you come back from a holiday and you're just knackered and you want to die?

[Ed Gamble]

A holiday with two young children.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was hectic, if the word we've been using. We went to Center Parks for four days.

[Ed Gamble]

So you're trapped.

[Matthew Crosby]

Went to a big prison.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Designed for kids crowded in with a

[Ed Gamble]

load of strangers through a giant contact lens.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's like the Stanford prison experiment. It was grueling. Red and yellow and pink and green. I can see a. Wow.

[Ed Gamble]

Well done, John.

[Matthew Crosby]

That was amazing, John. Thank you so much. I'd forgotten about that detail.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

The detail being that my daughter wouldn't fall asleep unless she heard the song I can see, I can sing a rainbow. And I didn't have WI fi or Internet connection, so I couldn't play off of my phone. So I had to lie on my bed in the darkness. Yeah, I don't think I had WI fi so I could. Why I couldn't play it.

[Ed Gamble]

Why don't they have WI fi in the contact?

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't know. I guess because then people could say, please help me send out messages and

[Ed Gamble]

do the review while they're there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. I think on TripAdvisor. So, yeah, so I. I had to lay in the darkness and just sing that.

[Ed Gamble]

Why are you going again, Matthew?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because I think I said this Last time. I feel like there is a good holiday in there that we just did.

[Ed Gamble]

Not for you.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I think there is. I genuinely think there is. I will. I will be back, you know, I'll be back in a couple of weeks time.

[Ed Gamble]

Go to her farmhouse.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not with kids.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you can't go with kids.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, exactly. Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what I mean.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. But listen, I had a lovely. I went to Babington House before I went to Soho Farmhouse. I had a lovely job. That was all pre kids. Yeah, it was all pre kids. The holidays when you have kids now, very, very different. You can't go. You can't be going to Soho Farmhouse and just, you know, sitting in a bathtub that's also outside and, you know, drinking yourself into a stupor. That was very, you know, that was pk. That was pre kids. That was a different life. That man used to do that. He's dead. Yeah, he dies. He might. He. He might come back when he becomes a grandparents.

[Ed Gamble]

You being a laugh is dead.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. Me being a laugh. That ship sailed seven years ago. Around the time I started doing the show and had kids. Yeah, I stopped being a laugh. That's what happened. Yeah. But anyway, I'm excited about it. I think it's gonna be good.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm excited about the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. When. The show. When I come back. Yeah. Yeah. Radio X.

[Grainger Announcer]

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[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm off to Centre park, so I'm actually going to be there.

[Ed Gamble]

Crazy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Going to be there next week.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And you mentioned that even last time when you told me it was horrible. You decided that you were going to go again. Yeah, I think John's got a clip of that happening, actually. Should we have a listen?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, amazing. You said, so you're never going back. And I was like, no. Even as it was happening, I was like, we're going to do this again.

[Ed Gamble]

Why?

[Matthew Crosby]

Because Centre Parks can't win. This is it. So I'm going back to do battle with Centre Parks and I'm gonna be back next weekend and I'm gonna tell you I had A fantastic holiday.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you're not. Centre Parks will win.

[Matthew Crosby]

Centre Parks won't win.

[Ed Gamble]

Centre Parks is like a casino. The house always wins.

[Matthew Crosby]

House always wins.

[Ed Gamble]

Which they probably don't have at Centre Parks. Cause it's not a laugh.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it is a bit like a casino in that you put thousands of pounds into it and you get nothing back.

[Ed Gamble]

I just remember how bad the food was.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I like Bella Italia. It's all right. No, it's. The curry house was closed, but we're hoping it's going to be open this time. It's meant to be very good.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not a life, Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is a life.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not a holiday.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's a Co Op there, that's a holiday.

[Ed Gamble]

There's a Co Op in life.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but this one's much more expensive. Anyway, I'll tell you all about that next week. What's to come on the show? Oh, of course, Toby Tarrant.

[Ed Gamble]

Toby Tarrant. Toby with us is just around the

[Matthew Crosby]

corner, so stick around for him.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X.

[Radio X Announcer]

We have the thickest listeners in radio.

[Ed Gamble]

We're about to play Metal Education

[Matthew Crosby]

from the lacerated sky. Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

You've been on a bad run of this, Matthew. This is of course the quiz where I give you a list of things sent in by listeners. Some of them are real, some of them are fake. Last week was not good for you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I got three.

[Ed Gamble]

John Nettles, Education, you got three, you got four, but we don't really count the first one.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I got three out of seven. I got four out of eight.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, but very bad run for you. But it was sent in by John. It was a very good quiz. Thank you, John. This comes from Peter. This one's a bit more simple, Matthew. There's less involved things here. Hello, Eric Marcus and Harry Potter and the Vinlosafa's Stone.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay, all right, sure.

[Ed Gamble]

As the Snooker World Championships is currently underway. I don't know when this was sent in, by the way.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Or indeed whether the Snooker World Championships is happening at the moment.

[Matthew Crosby]

How long ago was the Snooker World Championships? John's laughing like it was four years ago.

[Ed Gamble]

John doesn't know, even though Jon now is sporting a tash. That looks like he could be a snooker player.

[Matthew Crosby]

Definitely could be.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought I'd give you a quiz on snooker player nicknames. Great, as usual. Some are real and some are fake. Thanks. Okay, so very simple one, this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Number one, Peter 4 trap the Venus.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sorry, that was. That really got me. That got me exactly where it's been.

[Ed Gamble]

Peter Fortrap. The Venus Flytrap. Peter's written, obviously, keeping any filthiness out, but it's Penis fly trap.

[Radio X Announcer]

Number one, penis flytrap.

[Ed Gamble]

Number two, Anthony McGill, license to thrill.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anthony McGill, license to thrill. I really like it. But is it real?

[Ed Gamble]

Is it real? Number three, Lee Walker, the French hiker. Lee Walker.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

It's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

If that's real, then fair play to Lee Walker, the friendship. It's not like in, you know, it's not like in wrestling where they would have some sort of costume that relates.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I like the idea that he's got a bit, you know, big knapsack on his back. You know, he's got those two sticks that people sometimes have. Yeah. The French hiker.

[Ed Gamble]

You must be nearing the two sticks for. For a walk on the flat.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, I. I'm a big fan. When I see people. I've seen people walking down my road with the two sticks, I think. Yeah, go on, go for it. I'd love Two sticks.

[Ed Gamble]

Number four, Nigel Bond, double 0147.

[Matthew Crosby]

Nigel bond, double. Oh, 147. These are all fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, I want them all to be real.

[Ed Gamble]

Number five, Marco Fu. Q Man. Fu. Q Man Fu.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cuban fu.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I tell you what, Peter, at least one of these so far has to be made up. You're a genius. You're absolutely brilliant. I love you.

[Ed Gamble]

Number six, Alan Monkhouse, the Monastery.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Monastery. Alan Monkhouse, the monastery.

[Ed Gamble]

Number seven, Anthony Hamilton, the Sheriff of Pottingham.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hang on a sec.

[Toby Tarrant]

Is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is snooker a laugh? It is a laugh, isn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

It's. It's like darts. It's like.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a lot.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, you know, I. I watched Stephen Hendry's YouTube channel. I think I've told you that before. It's so boring, I'll fall asleep to it. I love it. Number eight, Ross Muir, The Golden Frankincense.

[Matthew Crosby]

The gold. The golden frankincense and Muir.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Gold, frankincense and mirror.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yep.

[Ed Gamble]

Number nine, Robert Milkins, the Milkman.

[Matthew Crosby]

That, you know, play with a straight Batman, isn't it? Which you're not allowed to do in snooker. It's the wrong sport, but, yeah, Play with a straight queue.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, the milkman. Number 10, Mark Davis, the Battler of Hastings. Oh, I'm assuming he's from Hastings.

[Matthew Crosby]

Be weird if he wasn't.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Number 11, Hugo Nevin. Hugo, Hugo,

[Matthew Crosby]

Hugo, Hugo.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. Hugo. Hugo.

[Ed Gamble]

At number 12, Mark King, the examiner. Oh, Mark King.

[Matthew Crosby]

Mark King. Right. I think I might have cracked the code here. I think I might have cracked the code on this one. But that. But I've said that before and I've still got three out of three.

[Ed Gamble]

You've never cracked a code in your damn life.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no. I'm a thicker. Well, that was very, very strong from Peter. One of the answers after this, Matthew

[Radio X Announcer]

Crosby and Edward Ra.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very pervy. Very pervy song, that placebo. Pure Morning. Doesn't sound very pure, does it? When they. The way they leather and breasts and stuff like that. No, thank you very much.

[Ed Gamble]

Not to mention having a cup of tea and a gale's.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, nothing. Nothing like my kind of Sunday morning. Yes, it's Ed Gamble and it's Matthew Crosby, and here are the answers and I'm going to get them all right, this time to Metal Education from a Lacerin disguise radio.

[Ed Gamble]

That's right. This week's Metal Education was sent in by Peter. It's snooker players and their nicknames. Some of them are real, some of them are fake. Here we go, Matthew. Number one, Peter Fortrap. The penis flytrap is incorrect.

[Radio X Announcer]

Number one. Penis flytrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you very much.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course it's fake. Yes. Number two, Anthony McGill, licensed to Thrill. Is that real? Is that fake? McGill.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think that's real.

[Ed Gamble]

That is real. Well done, you. Number three, Lee Walker, the French hiker.

[Matthew Crosby]

I want it to be real, but I think it's fake.

[Ed Gamble]

It is fake.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's really good, though, Peter. It's really, really good.

[Ed Gamble]

Number four, Nigel Bond, double oh. 147.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think that's real.

[Ed Gamble]

It is real. Congratulations. You're doing really well on this, Marco. Fu Kuman Fu.

[Matthew Crosby]

I want this to be real. I'm going to say real because I want it to be real.

[Ed Gamble]

It is real, Matthew. Oh, okay. Full house so far. You've got. Yeah, well done.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can all go wrong.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Alan Monkhouse, the monastery.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fake.

[Ed Gamble]

It is fake. This is incredible. This could be a 147 break. Anthony Hamilton, the Sheriff of Pottingham.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's real.

[Ed Gamble]

It is real. And I know you get nervous.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm so nervous now.

[Ed Gamble]

Ross Muir, The Golden Frankincense.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's fake.

[Ed Gamble]

That is fake. Robert Milkins, the milkman.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's real.

[Ed Gamble]

That is real. Mark Davis, the Battler of Hastings.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's real.

[Ed Gamble]

That is real. Hugo Nevin. Hugo. Hugo.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is the one. I really don't know. Hugo. Hugo. That's real.

[Ed Gamble]

It's fake.

[Toby Tarrant]

Oh, no.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Ed Gamble]

And finally, Mark King, the examiner.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's fake.

[Ed Gamble]

That is fake. 11 out of 12. It's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a good score. But I'm really disappointed about Hugo. Hugo. I wanted it to be real so much.

[Ed Gamble]

I know, but want doesn't exert.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I know what want doesn't equal facts. You're not allowed. You know, you're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts. Yeah, that's what they always say.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, God.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, Peter, you almost. You almost gave me the absolute time of my life there. But, you know, you did. Because I thought that was a brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

It was a brilliant, brilliant quiz.

[Matthew Crosby]

And thank you to Peter for that. That was. And still, you know, 11. What's that? That's an A star. GCSES. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm happy. Happy with that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. The GCSEs with 12 questions. Yeah, 11 is an A star.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X Dead Boy and Soupy Ghost.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gambler. Matthew Crosby on Radio X with you until 11:00am Legs 11. Of course, legs 11. Matthew, raise your glasses.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, indeed. Raise your glasses now. I lost my glasses on the tube.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, they popped off your head because you slammed your head in the doors.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, well, the doors slammed on my head rather than me slamming my head

[Ed Gamble]

in your lovely thin head. Went to the E gym and they went. That's the best head I've ever seen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you look like Earthworm Jim. Yeah, that's what EGym's stands for. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So that's actually. You were look. Smack thing.

[Matthew Crosby]

I was looks Max. Yes, that's true.

[Ed Gamble]

Because he suggests that chap is clavicular. Clavicular says, put your head in the tube doors now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I just say, I watched an interview with clavicular. Of course I did. I want to know how he looks.

[Ed Gamble]

So good.

[Matthew Crosby]

I hope he's all right, by the way. But yes, he. I saw a bit of him in the interview of him bone smashing.

[Ed Gamble]

With a little hammer.

[Matthew Crosby]

With a little hammer. Oh, it was so unpleasant. I. I just, you know, I'm sure there are young people listening to this. You look great, guys. Yeah, you look absolutely great.

[Ed Gamble]

Just need to hammer your face.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't need to take a hammer to your face.

[Ed Gamble]

Lost his desk.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. No, you don't need to be gaveling yourself. No, don't gavel yourself for good looks. Just accept that, you know, true beauty first. You've got true beauty. You've got youth on your side, you've got true beauty and also it comes from within. And I Don't. I don't know if.

[Ed Gamble]

Apart from the outside stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. You've got to be gorgeous on one side.

[Ed Gamble]

Some people are very ugly.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, obviously, if you're a very ugly person, we're not talking to you. If you're one of our very ugly listeners. No, just take it as red that we're not talking to you, you disgusting freak.

[Ed Gamble]

Some stuff does come from the inside, but also there's all the stuff on

[Matthew Crosby]

the outside, which I tell you what, some of you, you look like your insides are on your outsides. That's how ugly you are. Anyway, we're here to talk about glasses. Of course we're here to talk about glasses. No, of course. We're only. We're only kidding around. You're absolutely gorgeous.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

So this is a hammer, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Somebody.

[Matthew Crosby]

Someone. Some of you deserve the hammer. This is. This is from Ian, who. Who talks. He's actually got some. Some fantastic stories about losing his glasses. He says, dear. Zoinks. Jeepers and Vincys. For a brief. For a brief period in my years of teen drinking, I was the king of losing my glasses so much that combined with my mop of hair, I earned the nickname Velma. Hence the greeting number one. After a game of Drinking along with the. Of drinking along with the Proms. Posh.

[Ed Gamble]

Posh.

[Matthew Crosby]

Posh. He's posh. After a game of Drinking along with the Proms where I got the most drunk I've ever got, I stumbled home and woke up in the morning without my glasses. I lost this. Lost them someone on somewhere on the Mile walk home. Have you ever drunk along to the Proms?

[Ed Gamble]

Never drunk along to the Proms, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

But you've been to school with people who drunk along to the proms?

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think so.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that not a Rushmere? A Rushmere After Dark type thing to do? The Mumford and Sons guys not drunk?

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think so.

[Matthew Crosby]

In the infamous Karma nightclub in Chippenham, a girl came up to me and said, I like your glasses. Took them off my face and disappeared into the crowd.

[Ian (Listener)]

Got

[Matthew Crosby]

that happened to my. My friend on a. On a walk home one night. We were walking home and a bloke said, oh, I like your glasses. Picked them up and threw them into a cemetery and we went back the next day, couldn't find them.

[Ed Gamble]

No one buy a corpse?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, absolutely. It was a zombie.

[Ed Gamble]

I dropped my T shirt off in a nightclub once. Someone put it over my shoulder. Someone took it. I'm topless. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Well, I. I obviously have been on many nights out with. With Tom Parry.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tom Parry, who is a big fan of whipping off his. His T shirt. He's a big Tapsaf fan. And the number of times in a sort of. Sort of fit of pique has thrown it into the crowd and then just never seen. Just never seen it again. That's gone. That's gone. In the mosh pit at Flogging Molly at the Reading Festival. Do you know Flogging Molly?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Irish, sort of folk punk.

[Matthew Crosby]

Gotcha. In the mosh pit at Flogging Molly at the Reading Festival. They were kicked off my face.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Given how incredibly short sized I am, I thought my festival was acceptably over, but fortunately they were caught by my friend James. Good luck. In the eye charts this week, Squeak. Lots of love. For context, I once went to a. Oh, this is to talk about his mop of hair. For context, I once went to a stand up night and the first thing Diane Morgan said as she took the mic to me, she took the mic was to look directly at me and say, blimey, you look like Elton John. So there we go. If you saw Elton John in the mosh pit at the Forlogging Molly at the Reading Festival, you know who it was.

[Ed Gamble]

And lovely, lovely ornate glasses.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lovely, gorgeous, gorgeous glasses.

[Radio X Announcer]

Crobby James and the Machine, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's Ed Gamble. It's Matthew Crosby. And we are delighted to be joined by the only scoop for daddy of the show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And he's from. He's one of our very own. He's from this parish.

[Ed Gamble]

We are one of his very own. I feel we can't. You know this.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're right.

[Ed Gamble]

This guy's a big. A big cheese around here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, he certainly is. It's Toby Tarrant.

[Toby Tarrant]

Thank you very much for having me. And I was nodding whilst you were saying that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, you were. You were nodding away about being a big cheese.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah. I own this studio. You're merely renting.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's you, you, Miles, Johnny Vaughan are the owners of the studio.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yep.

[Ed Gamble]

That's a sitcom, isn't it? Three landlords.

[Matthew Crosby]

They all own a studio. It's great. Always fighting over lanyards.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Who's gonna get access?

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think this has to be written.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And three of the biggest stars around, as well.

[Toby Tarrant]

As a child of divorce.

[Matthew Crosby]

Here we go, here we go. Listen, you're on the wrong show for this.

[Toby Tarrant]

I suffered enough, you know, in my teenagers. I don't want to be like sort of of fighting with Johnny and Moyes about who, you know, where do I have to sleep at weekends.

[Ed Gamble]

Where are you going for Christmas?

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, all of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Whose house would you prefer to go to for Christmas? Chris or Johnny?

[Toby Tarrant]

I've been to both.

[Ed Gamble]

For Christmas.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, for Christmas. Again, childhood divorce. My parents had a custody battle where neither wanted me.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Could Johnny Vaughan take you?

[Toby Tarrant]

I tell you what, I just can't imagine him taking the time and patience required to put on a decent turkey and spread.

[Ed Gamble]

Also, I think he's the only person not having a nap on Christmas day. He's just talking.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

At some point he's interviewing the leftovers.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, at some point. Johnny, can we just sit down? Can we like play charades or something? Just something.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that sounds like my genuine nightmare. I love Johnny Vaughn's a bit, but

[Toby Tarrant]

Sherrod's with Johnny Vaughan in many ways. He's always playing. Sherrod.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. The one where you talk.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, the talking Shiraz where you'll never guess what he's on about. Talking. Very, very long game of charade. Like an improv game.

[Toby Tarrant]

Level of charade time is massive. It's like two hours worth of sand in there.

[Matthew Crosby]

But you're going to be doing some talking very, very soon, aren't you?

[Toby Tarrant]

Nice link.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thanks, man. You're going to be doing some talking up at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

With your new stand up show. Now you're a stand up.

[Toby Tarrant]

Well, I mean, I feel a bit embarrassed in front of you two saying that.

[Ed Gamble]

No, come on.

[Toby Tarrant]

Because at the time of recording I've done done six shows.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Toby Tarrant]

You two have probably got a few more on me than that.

[Ed Gamble]

A couple more.

[Toby Tarrant]

And you've probably done six shows in like Norwich alone.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, more than that in Norwich. Yeah. I've done countless great place to do comedy. Yeah. Oh, Norwich is one of the. One of the best places to do gigs. Genuinely.

[Toby Tarrant]

Weirdly, I put a thing up on Instagram saying like, where would you like me to take this show? And Norwich came up. I didn't know. I'm huge in Norwich.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. But Norwich has a real community of comedy lovers and they're always fun. Shows like Norwich, Bristol, Brighton. There's some incredible places.

[Toby Tarrant]

They all came up a lot, those ones.

[Matthew Crosby]

Norwich Art Centre's great. The Playhouse is great. Yeah. You have a great time there. Well, I do a tour of Norwich.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

Well, I haven't currently got the capacity to fill any of those venues, but I will be filling the Gilded Saloon at Edinburgh Fringe this summer.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, yes. That's the Saloon in the Balloon.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Saloon in the Balloon.

[Toby Tarrant]

It's the new Gilded Balloon venue. The Gilded Saloon. And I'm in the basement, not the nice room upstairs. So, yes, I'll be there 5pm, August 7th to 16th at Edinburgh Fringe. And I'm really, really, genuinely excited about it and nervous about it, but I haven't been nervous about anything in a long time, so it's nice.

[Ed Gamble]

Nerves outside the comfort zone. That's exciting.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

Well, because I've been doing the radio thing for 10 years. In the first six months, I was absolutely bricking it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

But now I don't know if you heard the show. I really dial it in.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm actually nervous for you because. Will you fit in a basement? Because you're absolutely massive, aren't you?

[Toby Tarrant]

It's funny you say that because I got sent like, this is a word that they only use on the TV show 24. I got sent the schematics of the room. Cause Jack Bauer used to always ask Chloe for the schematics of any building. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And that'd take an hour.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah. Conveniently, she'd always send them at 7:59. So you'd have to wait till next week to find out if he got the schematics for the building. But I noticed it doesn't say height. So I am worried because I did look at some photos. There is a big vent across. You know you're doing a good room when there's a big vent across the building.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you need. Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

And I am worried that it's gonna be sort of people looking at my neck and below whilst I stand.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, you might have to stand like you've just stood up on a plane.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

With your head sort of pressed up like that.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or when you have to squeeze into the tube at the last minute and the doors will decapitate you if you don't slightly.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I know all about that. We talked about that many, many times.

[Ed Gamble]

Matthew's got his head stuck in the doors and his glasses popped off. Right.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's another week we're telling that story. More from Toby Tarrant after this radio.

[Ian (Listener)]

If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need, all in one place, from H vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win call. 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Jimi Hendrix.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, chill out, Jimmy. Do you know what I mean?

[Matthew Crosby]

He's really going for it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

No wonder he died at 27. Yeah, he absolutely wore himself out, didn't he? But he died of exhaustion. We're still joined by the brilliant Toby Tarrant. Now, Toby is going to be up at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival at the Gilded Saloon. Are you doing the whole month?

[Toby Tarrant]

I would love to, but I have the small matter of covering the Chris Moyle show for two weeks in August. So I'm gonna be doing my radio show live from Glasgow and then running back and forth between Glasgow and Edinburgh.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, you're crazy. I mean, at least you're not doing the whole month. No, for that purpose, because that would be. That would be insane. I would say it's good. So you're doing two weeks at the Fringe?

[Toby Tarrant]

I'm doing. Yes. I'm doing 10 days. Seventh to the 16th.

[Ed Gamble]

That's perfect.

[Toby Tarrant]

That's. A lot of people are saying that.

[Ed Gamble]

Your first Edinburgh.

[Toby Tarrant]

I think that's ideal because I was. I really wanted to do the whole thing. And actually, everyone I've spoken to has now gone. No, no, trust me, you're doing the right thing.

[Ed Gamble]

Especially like, you've done six. You've done six shows.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So obviously you're strai to the fringe. I think 10 days is absolutely fine.

[Toby Tarrant]

I think absolutely fine. Yeah. But I'm looking forward to it. But digress here. But digress here.

[Matthew Crosby]

People that died. The famous Toby Tarrant. Digress. I didn't think you'd be doing this. I thought it was for your show.

[Ed Gamble]

We are honored.

[Toby Tarrant]

I know. I meant to be plugging my show, but people that died at 27.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

Kurt Cobain's 27 Club.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely right.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

And which Nirvana song is it where he repeated at the end, go, and I don't have a gun?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, that's one of them.

[Ed Gamble]

You should know. You wrote Nirvana in the sand on a beach once when you were a teenager.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's come as you are.

[Toby Tarrant]

Come as you are. I always think the signs were there then, that he did have a gun and that someone should have stepped in.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I see why you're doing this digression. Our show and not your show.

[Toby Tarrant]

Oh, it's a bit racy for buying, but. But Sunday morning, control your guest people. Anyway, so Edinburgh Fringe. I'm going up. I'm really, really, really excited. About it. And it is a real turn your brain off hour, I'd say, in fact.

[Matthew Crosby]

For the audience or for you, for everyone involved. Right.

[Ed Gamble]

You will have to keep the old brain on, I think.

[Toby Tarrant]

I don't know. Again, I might digress.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

Do you know what I mean?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, digress is fine, but I find to digress you actually have to keep your brain on.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ed Gamble]

Because then you have to get back. You have to re. Digress.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, that's. And I just worry I'll just digress for hours.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

No, I. So you guys obviously know the Fringe very, very well and there's so many incredibly talented, brilliant people going up there. And when I spoke to a few people planning it, they kept going, oh, what's the theme of your show? Because there's a lot of people up,

[Ed Gamble]

don't worry about it.

[Toby Tarrant]

Well, this is it, right? Because a lot of people do an hour on, you know, when their goldfish died or whatever it is, and they do these amazing, intelligent shows where it all links back at the end. And it's this amazing journey we've been on. Mine is the polar opposite of that. Mine is very much an hour of me telling some stupid stories, attempting to crack some jokes. And I've promised there'll be no politics, current affairs or anything remotely important or useful whatsoever. Like you will leave stupider than you arrived.

[Ed Gamble]

I think there's a gap in the market for that. Yeah, I think the Fringe is about all of these different things, isn't it? You can't. People can't go and watch five shows a day with a heavy theme.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no, no. You want some idiocy and that's what you're there to provide.

[Toby Tarrant]

Hello, that's where I step in.

[Matthew Crosby]

And if you want to. Right, this is a little pro tip.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just say anything that you'd mentioned earlier in the show and people think it's a clever ending.

[Toby Tarrant]

Oh, really?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. If you. If you get to the end of the show and you think, oh, it's right, 50, 55 minutes. Yeah, just say a word or a phrase or. That was a bit like this that you've mentioned at sort of minute 35 and people go, wow, yeah, what a well crafted hour.

[Ed Gamble]

Labored, labored callbacks. The only way to get off stage.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Toby Tarrant]

And I need to write this down.

[Ed Gamble]

And even better at the Fringe, especially the labored callback and then an instant blackout.

[Toby Tarrant]

Oh, wow.

[Ed Gamble]

And then you don't even need to say goodnight because saying, thank you very much. Thanks for Coming. There's no dignity in that. No blackout and run off stage as quickly as possible.

[Toby Tarrant]

I don't think I've even got the budget for a guy to do the lights.

[Matthew Crosby]

Walking to the back of the room and flicking the lights off yourself. Something a bit deconstructed about it.

[Toby Tarrant]

I like it filling for time as I walk through the lights, which are the back of the room and attempt a bad callback. And it's a bit like earlier on when I mentioned. And then flick the lights.

[Ed Gamble]

Lights down. Yeah, yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

And it doesn't go fully black because again, there's no budget for like a. It just be. They can slightly see me less than they could before.

[Matthew Crosby]

The vent is still gleaming away in the corner. People can still see the vent.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Your head scraping across the ceiling.

[Toby Tarrant]

Anyway, this is my first time really selling a show. Did that work? How do you reckon that's gone?

[Ed Gamble]

We'll see. Well, let's. Let's check the ticket [e-mail].

[Radio X Announcer]

the blueberry and the Cake skin Radio. Eggs.

[Matthew Crosby]

Smash Mouth All Star.

[Ed Gamble]

Play that on the radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Such a good song. I know, it's so fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

It's mad though, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, brilliantly mad. Wonderfully, delightfully mad.

[Toby Tarrant]

Sorry, Hello, Toby Tarrant here.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, sorry, Toby Tarrant's still in the

[Toby Tarrant]

studio when like Trump got elected.

[Matthew Crosby]

Another one. And digress.

[Ed Gamble]

Another digression. Stop using our show to get your real opinions out.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wasn't it brilliant?

[Toby Tarrant]

Finally, I can say it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Utter bloke nonsense is at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Toby, you're going to be up there for 10 days doing it, doing your brand new show. Now, have you done any of. Is this your first bit of promo for the. For the show?

[Toby Tarrant]

No, I've plugged it. I've basically plugged it on Radio X and Radio X so far. So, again, thank you for having me.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. Well, there's. There's many other stations under the Radio X banner.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

So you need to get yourself onto classic rock. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Chilled. Chilled radio back to asis.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yes. Yeah, bring that back just so I can promote this at this stage. I'll do anything to sell a ticket.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, will you answer the three biggest questions in promo? The big three. The big three.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you. Kima. First question. Toby Tarrant. Yes. Could you please tell us what's the worst heckle you've never had or best

[Matthew Crosby]

heckle you've never had, which is most of them, really, because you've only done six shows. Have you been heckled yet, by the way?

[Toby Tarrant]

Little bit. But not enough. I sort of need to just get abused by a crowd, I think before I go to Edinburgh. Just get it out the way. Just pull that plaster off.

[Ed Gamble]

The thing is, you won't. It probably won't happen in Edinburgh. Cause what time are you on? 5pm yeah, it's probably not gonna happen in Edinburgh. And there will be shows where, you know, there will be shows that feel a little quiet.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Because you're doing 10 shows. Yes. So they can't all be rip roaring bangers.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And you will be praying that someone shouts something out. Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

I need to plant someone in the crowd who just hurls abuse. Someone who knows me like one of my oldest friends. Who knows the stuff that will hurt.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

If your show. Toby Taran, if your show was a Radio X dj, which Radio X DJ

[Ed Gamble]

would it be and why? And you can't pick yourself.

[Toby Tarrant]

It's probably a less informed Johnny Vaughn.

[Ed Gamble]

Less informed Johnny Vaughan.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, because Johnny Vaughn, I've done Pointless Celebrities with him, which is basically cheating.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

I might as well have had Tequin Whitake because he is a walking insight.

[Ed Gamble]

He really is. Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

So it's.

[Ed Gamble]

So imagine if he hit his head.

[Toby Tarrant]

Exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

That's your show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

If Johnny Vaughn. And let's hope this doesn't happen. But if he did hit his head and, you know, his brain sort of became sort of soup, then that would be my show.

[Ed Gamble]

Johnny Vaughn's character from the sitcom. Horrible.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Toby Tarrant]

Perfect.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, perfect. Yeah.

[Toby Tarrant]

If you'd like to see an hour

[Ed Gamble]

of that, I'm your man.

[Matthew Crosby]

And finally, in the big three.

[Toby Tarrant]

Yes, the big three.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you, Kima.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you, Kima. Could you describe your show to us in 17 words and a norm.

[Toby Tarrant]

17 words and a noise.

[Ed Gamble]

Rare for people to count in advance. And I'll be honest, even rarer for a professional DJ to give all that silence.

[Toby Tarrant]

I don't want to waste my words. I don't want to waste my words.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Toby Tarrant]

Oh, no. 16 tickets.

[Ed Gamble]

There you go.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, no, 16 tickets are.

[Ed Gamble]

Couldn't follow that if I'm honest.

[Toby Tarrant]

So basically I did. I didn't know if me saying in 17 words or less counted. By the time I counted them. Yeah, I was up to 16. So I just said tickets and then made a noise.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think you did 12 there.

[Toby Tarrant]

Available online now. Buy them.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's actually a proper promo.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. That was really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Really, really good. Big thanks to Toby, Terrence.

[Toby Tarrant]

Thank you, guys. I really enjoyed that.

[Ed Gamble]

Thank you.

[Radio X Announcer]

Crunch and crumble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X Whoa, man, man.

[Ed Gamble]

The riverboat song. Ocean color scene.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a psychedelic wig out.

[Ed Gamble]

It truly is.

[Matthew Crosby]

It truly is. And it's really set me up for the wonderful boating I'm gonna be doing at Centre Parks.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yes, we'll hear more.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fake beach they've got.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll hear more about Centre Parks next week, I hope.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, I hope so. If I come back in one piece, which I intend to, I'll have stories. But you know, it's not gonna be a very interesting show. Cause it'll just be like, oh yeah. And then we did this and it was great. And then we had this food and it was amazing. And then we had a really good night's sleep and then the kids really enjoyed themselves.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what it's so positive.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's what it's going to be like. We're gonna have a great time.

[Ed Gamble]

You're positive, which I appreciate is a good character trait to have. But also I think you're positive to the point of delusion.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Thick. Thick. Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I'm ugly as thick.

[Ed Gamble]

And you're ugly.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thick. But thick.

[Ed Gamble]

I go, let's get someone gorgeous in the studio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let's get someone ready because you know

[Ed Gamble]

he's coming up, Danny Wallace. He's big.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's big.

[Ed Gamble]

He's tall.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, he's gorge. He's so. Listen, I don't use this word very often, but he is so sexy. Honestly, there's a reason a lot of.

[Ed Gamble]

Although the size of him, actual intercourse with him would destroy you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but what a way to go.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Die doing something you love.

[Ed Gamble]

I'd just be a pile of paste with a smile on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Spread me all over the tarmac, Danny. I'm ready for it.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, bye bye everybody.

[Matthew Crosby]

See you next week. Bye bye. David Bowie RADIO

[Grainger Announcer]

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[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show.

[Ed Gamble]

Done. Matthew show five. Well done.

[Matthew Crosby]

Done.

[Ed Gamble]

We'll be live next week.

[Matthew Crosby]

We'll be live next week. Yeah, don't worry about it.

[Ed Gamble]

A few weeks off for work based things.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Just in case you thought we were truly having holidays.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, we're not. I'm gonna have a real holiday.

[Ed Gamble]

But again, it's not a real holiday.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is a real holiday.

[Ed Gamble]

It's more stressful than anything else anyone could do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, I think. I think your work will be way less stressful than my holiday.

[Ed Gamble]

Absol. It'd be more of a holiday.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And actually, I'll be working on the job you're working on as well, and I will find that more relaxing.

[Ed Gamble]

Not from sensepox. You won't know WI fi.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, that's right. I won't be able to. So that's my excuse. That's my excuse. Yes, indeed. Well, hope you enjoyed it, folks. Very quick Beck rec. There's a new BBC podcast called Everything. Everything is fake and no one cares. Jamie Bartlett, who did the missing crypto queen. It's. It's very good.

[Ed Gamble]

AI.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's AI. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's about AI.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not itself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it is. It is because he co hosts it with himself.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, I'm not interested.

[Matthew Crosby]

You don't want to hear. No, you don't hear about Jamie Box.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't like it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't like it.

[Toby Tarrant]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fair enough. You don't. You know, you don't like AI and that's. That's completely fine.

[Ed Gamble]

Thanks for listening to the show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you for listening to this. This. We're real humans making this show.

[Ed Gamble]

AI could not produce something this poor. This is how we beat AI this

[Matthew Crosby]

is how we beat AI by being total, total rubbish.

[Ed Gamble]

And this is all feeding into the AI algorithm. And eventually it will learn how to be rubbish. It will destroy itself by being.

[Matthew Crosby]

By being too crap.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. It's worked. It's all worked out. Have you got anything else you're listening to?

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

No. John, have you got anything else? No. No. Okay, well, have a wonderful week, everybody. We will see you next week. I'll be fresh as a daisy after having spent a week at Centre Parks. Cheerio.

[Ed Gamble]

Bye Bye.

[Matthew Crosby]

Grady,

[Grainger Announcer]

when you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery. So you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-granger clickgranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.