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Drew
Hey, guys. We wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster. Or with Rocket Money, go to RocketMoney.com Intercom today. That's RocketMoney.com Intercom.
Madeline
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Drew
Hey, surprise. We got Meline again. For y' all that don't know, this is my twin. S. We go way back.
Enya
Way back.
Drew
We literally shared a womb thing. Oh.
Madeline
Me and this girl. We have stories to tell.
Drew
No, the T is is me and Madeline. We ate our triplet in the womb. Have I ever told you that?
Madeline
I think you've said it at least 8 million times.
Drew
And it's a lie because we didn't do that.
Madeline
Wait, do you actually that's I or.
Drew
Bleep that my brother ate his twin.
Enya
In the womb and apparently they. They theorize that he did.
Madeline
I was really terrified as a kid because. Did you ever watch Kate Plus 8?
Enya
I actually didn't.
Drew
That belly was disgusting.
Madeline
I thought, like, having, like, twins Triplets, like, quadruplets, all of those things. I thought that was, like, more common than not for some reason, I think just because there were, like, there was an era where there was, like, eight.
Drew
Like, engorged in red.
Enya
Ow.
Madeline
I mean, beautiful, but. Ow. Like, I guess I feel like I have to say that's beautiful or I'll get in trouble. Like, but it looks like it really hurts.
Drew
No, it does hurt. Like, you know what I wish I could do for every woman in my life? I really. I. What I wish I could do is I wish I could go behind them and pick their boobs up off their body and just let them walk around without boob weight just so they could feel what it feels like to be like, no back strain from their boobs.
Kai
Such a good idea.
Drew
I would love to do that in you.
Enya
It actually is pretty magical.
Drew
Has that. Has Stephen done that?
Enya
Yeah. Whenever I was breastfeeding and they were like, extra.
Madeline
I see that. I'm like, that looks like it hurts again. As a kid, I was like, oh, so sweet. And then hearing adults talk about it, I was like, wait, what?
Enya
Like, wait, it hurts when you're, like, engorged? Yeah, but I didn't, like, actually. I didn't actually, like, breastfeed, but I pumped. And yeah, it's very odd sensation.
Drew
You were a super milk producer, huh?
Enya
An overproducer, what they call it, but yeah.
Madeline
Do you have any breast milk left? Like, did you keep any for.
Enya
So I do. I have, like, 500 ounces, but it's all expired now. And I just will not dump it out because it, like, hurts my heart. It was so much work.
Madeline
Hold on to something.
Enya
It was so much work that I just, like, haven't got to it. I will eventually. Really wants me to clear out our freezer.
Madeline
You should get it. You should get it evaporated. I'm not even kidding. Like, that's some. Like, you can't you make it into diamond and get it. Cute little thing.
Drew
Make it into diamonds.
Enya
You can make, like, a breast milk ring, which I do still need to make that.
Drew
You can make a semen ring, too.
Madeline
That's disgusting.
Drew
You can.
Madeline
That's, like, disgusting. There's way too much of that around. Like, there's no, like, Madeline's milk is her milk. Like, that's only.
Drew
Weren't you, like, giving milk away to people?
Enya
I did, yeah. At one point, because I had so much in my freezer.
Drew
Madeline's a giver?
Madeline
Yeah. Because I guess there are people who can't, like, produce enough breast Milk. Because it really is just, like, you either have that genetic makeup that you make enough or.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
It really sucks when, like, my milkers. That's what I call the women that let me suck on their boobs for their milk as a 27 year old sucks when they run out. And I have to get a new producer because the flavor is always different. Like, I can tell the difference between Coke and Dr. Pepper if they had a Coke or Dr. Pepper that day. No, it is really crazy, Madeline, that you were making breast milk and your diet was chicken and Dr. Pepper and, like, you were creating a life.
Enya
Yeah. And Luna, and she's literally one of.
Madeline
The smartest kids I've ever interacted with.
Drew
I'm not kidding.
Madeline
Like, I.
Drew
We were crying in the Unironically. We were tearing up, talking about Luna and you and Steven in the car to pick up the toilet.
Madeline
To me, y' all are such a little trio. It's so sweet.
Drew
Like.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Oh.
Madeline
But Luna with me, I think more than Drew at this point, so I really.
Drew
She does.
Madeline
It's kind of a rap. It's a rap for Joel.
Enya
Yeah. And Josh.
Drew
She likes Josh.
Madeline
No, I'm cooked. I'm cooked. Next to Josh. She's obsessed with Josh.
Drew
It's because she associates it with Blue's.
Enya
Clues, I think so. I think she hears the name, and she's like, if you don't know.
Drew
Presence of a celebrity.
Enya
Yeah. Luna loves Blue's Clues. And there's a new character. Like, obviously, you guys probably know.
Drew
Oh, Luna's Madeline's baby, mind you.
Enya
Oh, yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Y' all probably know Steve. Well, it goes Steve, Joe, and now there's Josh. Well, whenever we told Luna, like, oh, yeah, Josh will be here, Luna's face, like, lit up because she literally thought it was gonna be Blue's Clues. Josh. Since we just got back, I was.
Drew
Gonna say, mind you.
Enya
She met everyone, like, Elsa, all of her favorite. So whenever. Yeah. She thought that.
Drew
Oh.
Enya
Oh. Is it falling?
Madeline
I don't know. I'm really scared.
Drew
Wait, just ignore it. Let's ignore it. If it falls, it falls, and we'll cry.
Enya
We should have had Steven.
Drew
I know. Steven's, like, fixing up our house right now. He's. He's literally so masculine.
Madeline
That's why I'm saying, like, being around y' all this weekend has genuinely kind of greened me out in a way where I'm like, oh, my God, y' all got it. Like, you got the miracle jeans. Like, literally the fact that you. No one has to. You're so used to worrying about, like, one of our friends, partners being left alone, and all of us are like, what are they gonna do? Like, what are like, you can't kind of leave that, like, guy alone. Like, don't leave that guy alone. And you were asking, oh, what's Steven gonna do? Like, to fill his time? Bitch, he's a guy. He's a real man.
Drew
He's fuck. Oh.
Madeline
And they say they want me to be nice to men. See what happens? It really is.
Drew
And you were giving. For the first time in your life, you gave a compliment to a man.
Madeline
And they said, men only get flowers at their funeral. But look, I tried to give you your flowers. And look them at attack. Oh, Honestly. Yeah.
Drew
I literally already put it up. I cannot deal with that.
Madeline
Every time we walk in here. This is like this every time.
Enya
Hopefully, Stephen will fix it before we leave and y' all won't have to worry about it.
Madeline
I love you. Feel bad because when he was first offering to fix stuff around the house, I was like, no, I can't think of anything. But then when I really got to.
Drew
Thinking, I was like, toilet handles.
Madeline
I like my toilet. My handles, my doorknobs. I don't like my doorknobs anymore. I don't like any handles on anything.
Drew
Thing in my. Hang the mirror and the foyer.
Madeline
Like, oh, my God, let's do, like, a new, like, chandelier.
Drew
No, we really. We really were in the store, and we were like, maybe Stephen can install the chandelier. And we were like, okay, we can.
Madeline
We, like, pressure him into doing electrician work?
Drew
Yeah. Okay. You were in Disney for four days. Like, talk about that. That was crazy. Madeline got flown out. Flew out by Disney.
Enya
Yeah. So we got invited by Disneyland. It was so fun. It was Luna's first time ever going to Disney, and it. Everything we could have thought of, like, dreamed of. It was so fun. She loved Elsa. Ariel.
Drew
She still talk about the bunk ass Ariel for a second. Okay, so Natalie or Luna met two Ariels on two separate days. Yeah, on two separate days. And one of them was, like, fierce. Like, Contessa, like, eight down. Like, was, like, the girl really living.
Madeline
In her aerial fans.
Drew
Yeah. And then the next one was, like, haggerty Mean had been doing the job for at least 20 years.
Enya
Like, not mean, but definitely was not as excited.
Madeline
The love of the game maybe has.
Drew
Faded a little bit.
Madeline
The game has worn on her. It gets. Yeah, it gets there. Like, we all got there.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, she. But she was still nice to Luna.
Enya
She was. It just was a little different vibe, but it was so confusing.
Madeline
Like, Luna had the first experience that we have as adults when you see someone you could, like, you thought you got along with, and then you carry in that energy, and when it's not received, you're like, okay, okay. Like, I wish I want so badly. Like, we have all this weird chat gbt. We need to figure out how to read the minds of toddlers who can, like, speak as much as Luna, but can't, like, verbalize, get it all the way out, because I'm like, oh, my God. I wonder how often she's like, I.
Enya
Don'T know if you saw her, but I think it was yesterday and you were there. But she was, like, sitting there and, like, froze for a second, because I could tell she was trying to figure out.
Madeline
Yeah.
Enya
How to tell us. And she was going. And then she, like, couldn't think of it. And then she kind of, like, lost her train of thought and, like, started to freak me out. I was like, oh, poor girl. Like, she wants to tell us something so bad.
Drew
I'm scared of her now. I'm scared of Luna.
Enya
What?
Drew
I'm literally terrified of her. The way she was staring into that fire last night. No, she was plotting, y' all. Like, it was creepy.
Enya
She was mesmerized by the fire.
Drew
No, she was plotting. She wasn't mesmerized. She was thinking about how she can kill all of us.
Madeline
Don't say that.
Drew
Don't say that. Don't say that.
Madeline
I feel like she would say spit. No, I feel like she would only kill you.
Drew
I think so.
Madeline
Yeah. But maybe it's something.
Drew
No, we can't even talk about her negatively, because it literally makes me cry, because I literally love that child so much. Like, it's my own. Like, I literally have said that a million times. But, like, literally, I. I want to protect her.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
I want to save her.
Madeline
I know. I love her so much. But also, I love the place I get to hold in people's lives where, like, I get to be cool, fun.
Drew
You're my wife.
Madeline
And I get none of the anxieties of being a parent, because I was, like, ranting to Madeline about it. I would be, like. My kids would feel like they were in the pentak penautical.
Drew
Yeah.
Madeline
Someone's gonna make fun of me crazy, because I can't say it, but it's, like, that one prison tower that has, like. It's like a watchtower. I would be the watchtower guard for my kid. And they would hate me.
Drew
I'd let my kids smoke weed starting at four.
Madeline
Yeah. When does Luna get to smoke?
Enya
You know, I. I don't think I thought about that yet.
Drew
Yeah, I think.
Madeline
I mean, you should start thinking, because she's probably gonna get on Amazon and.
Drew
Get a cart by the time she' the Fortnite cart.
Madeline
Do you ever get scared of, like, that? Because you did you see, like, the highlighter vapes and all that?
Enya
Oh, yeah, we did. Yeah.
Madeline
Like, well, then what? What?
Enya
Like, yeah, it's gonna get, like, more sneaky.
Madeline
They're gonna start having.
Drew
We're gonna be old heads.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
I mean, we kind of technically are to. To, like, anybody with an iPhone, because they're so used to see. They've seen everything already. So that's why we seem so old. Like, anything we watch. Holy. I was learning about my, like, 2015 deep dive. Like, it's like, how we felt about the 90s. Like, I remember when I first saw the re rocking the chokers, I was like, bruh. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I hate this 90s. It's so old. Ew. But then Tumblr made it a vibe.
Drew
And I was like, you're like, here, I'll follow. All I hear in school is Ebola. Yeet, bruh. What's 9, 10, 21? Ebola? My anaconda don't Ebola. Ebola. About a week ago.
Madeline
Yeet.
Drew
Yaga. Y' all remember Yaga?
Enya
Yes, they do, unfortunately, because you would pull my hair. Yeah.
Madeline
What other bad you would be? Evil. Like, from what Drew has said, like, you were evil as.
Drew
No, I was really dark side.
Madeline
You were the demon.
Drew
No, I was. I was. I was really bad. Like, I made Madeline not breathe for two minutes, but, like, I wasn't, like, choking her, but, like, I, like, karate chopped her throat.
Enya
You didn't mean to do it. You weren't being mean. You were being funny.
Drew
Thought you were being funny, famously, like, always. That's like, he thought he was being funny. Me, every time I see you.
Madeline
So you act like he just on purpose whacked you.
Enya
Yeah, I was, like, leaning back. I don't know if I was, like, stretching or what, but he just came up and went like. Like that, and I literally did not breathe.
Madeline
That is some.
Drew
I started.
Enya
Like, he thought I was joking at first, and I was like, literally can't. Yeah.
Drew
Did we talk about when you passed out on the last episode? I don't remember if we talked about it. I might have, but we. I'll let you say It.
Enya
I might have. I don't remember if we did or not, but. Yeah, one time, I don't know if I was like 14 or 15 or what, but I was up so upstairs and I like, came out of my bathroom and I was just like, really light headed. Well, I passed out and I hit my head on, like this.
Drew
On a bow flex.
Enya
Yeah, I hit my head on something. I don't remember what it was.
Drew
It was the Bowflex machine. Yeah, that workout machine. My dad swore to God he was going to start working.
Enya
Yeah, that was upstairs for years.
Drew
That and a tanning machine that was literally never used.
Enya
We played on it.
Drew
Yeah. I was going to say we would play hide and seek and hide inside of it, but I remember when he got that, that we were not allowed to touch the Bowflex.
Madeline
Well, your head did.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah, it did. And I like, fell or whatever. And Drew was walking out of his room right at the same time and he just kind of like looked over at me. And I remember I could like, see him but not see him. And I couldn't talk. And I'd literally just watched him walk downstairs. And I'm like, laying there, like. Like whatever. Like, kind of passed out, but like, still, like, coherent a little bit.
Drew
And then all of a sudden, she was literally frozen.
Enya
No, I just watched your, like, silhouette go. And I, like, couldn't.
Drew
I. I like, saw you laying on the ground. Like, I literally saw you.
Madeline
What did you think she was just playing?
Enya
Yeah, he thought I was messing around. Well, he goes downstairs and he was like, hey, Madeline never came downstairs. It's kind of weird. And so then he, like, told. I could hear you talking to dad and saying like, hey, I think Madeline might have passed out or something.
Madeline
So then also him not getting up to go look.
Drew
Yeah, well, I, like, heard a thump. I heard a thump thump. And I. Yeah, yeah.
Enya
Well, then you and dad, I think, came up there. Maybe mom, someone came up there. And then we went to the hospital and I was fine. Nothing was wrong. I just randomly passed down.
Madeline
I don't think I.
Drew
What were you doing before? Do you remember?
Enya
I don't know. I was in the bathroom.
Drew
You were in the bathroom?
Enya
Yeah. Maybe I stood up too quick. I have no idea. But I just remember walking a big old.
Drew
In there.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
All the blood was in your feet, right, Kai?
Kai
Oh, yep, absolutely.
Madeline
Kai's on his phone as fuck, by the way. That's why he had such a low response, because he was like, he's not a part.
Kai
No, I was actually doing some Research. Because I'm using a different interface that everybody gets a mic. And I was just making sure that everything was good, and it is. So I'm actually, like, you know that meme of the guy that's the soldier, like, protecting the child while he sleeps.
Drew
Oh, with the knives.
Kai
So I'm the soldier.
Drew
Yeah, that is true.
Enya
Funny, because you're on your text.
Kai
Oh, well, that's actually.
Drew
Clock it.
Kai
I can just cut that. That's fine.
Drew
Clock it, bro.
Madeline
I'm trying to think of. I don't think I ever fainted or anything as a kid, and I wasn't the clumsier kid, but my little sister would fucking smash her head open at every waking moment.
Drew
We had a. Like, that. Her nickname to everyone was. Do you remember? I'm not gonna say her name out loud, but she just got a dui, like, two weeks ago.
Enya
Are you gonna.
Drew
What? No one knows.
Madeline
I can't say that. But what if they're watching?
Drew
I don't give a fuck. I just. Oh, that's something else. I also went through my phone and prank called every single, like, person from my hometown that I literally haven't spoken to in over a decade, and I just called all of them with my real raw number. Raw number. But I would, like, I called all of them, and 90% didn't answer. But I was bored as fuck that day. And, like, a couple did, but I left all of them voicemails. And I was like, hey, like, I really need you. I need to talk to you. Like, we need to talk. Like. Like, something's going on. Like, I need to talk to you. And I like. Like, we'll bleep the names. All of those people. Like, I was McKenna Markov, or those are who you. Like, no one. No one called me back, but I was so sick. They don't give a fuck about me, actually. No.
Madeline
Oh, my God. That is heck.
Drew
One of the people. The most popular kid in school, that kid.
Madeline
Oh, I'm so sure.
Drew
His. His number called me back, and he was like, hey, are you looking? Yeah. He was like, hey, are you looking for so and so? And I was like, yes. And then I was like. He was like, your voicemail was jarring. Are you okay? And I was like, we all have. We have video of all of this, by the way. This guy was, like, so sweet. He was literally so. He was like, do you need someone to talk to? Like, is everything okay? Like, and all this shit? And I was like, yeah, I'm okay. Thank you for, like, checking in on me. And I just like, random guy. Yeah. But then I also called Rebecca Black and acted like she was my cousin and it was her wedding soon. And I was like, hey, what day's your wedding? And she was like, I don't have a wedding.
Madeline
And we just wanted a reason to talk to Rebecca Black.
Drew
But no, at the end, at the end I was like, wait, this is so.
Madeline
I know. He's brought up this phone call like four times and literally got along. And like he was like, we always get along. But like we were keying on the phone.
Drew
No, we really were. And she was in the airport and I could hear like, flight boarding right now.
Madeline
Hey guys, we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Shopify is the precipice, I think, for any small business owner who is so motivated to start up their business. But when it comes to starting up, the online aspects of it feels completely lost. It's helped so much with navigating, selling merch for the podcast or our own personal endeavors. And literally without it, I don't think I would ever be able to get any product I've ever made out to any human.
Drew
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Madeline
Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands that just getting started. If you want to see less cards being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com intercom go to shopify.com intercom shopify.com intercom Cha Ching.
Drew
Hey guys, we're going to take a quick break to thank another sponsor, Zoc Doc. Guys, my dental work is finally done. All booked through ZocDoc and it was a magical experience through and through. Like they really actually ended up knocking it out of the park. And I'm actually really happy with my new teeth. My new teeth. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment, y' all. There's hundreds of thousands of doctors under every single specialty under the sun, from mental health Dental health, Hello, primary care to urgent care, and so many more. You can even filter doctors who take your insurance and are located nearby. You can book appointments typically between 24 and 72 hours. You can even score same day appointments. Y' all tap in.
Madeline
We love Zach Doc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O c d o c.com Intercom Zocdoc.com Intercom.
Drew
Ow. Like run.
Madeline
That's kind of a vibe, though. I would, like, actually. No, I hate being in the airport and on the phone. I just don't, like, don't call me. I don't want to be on the phone.
Drew
Oh. But at the end of the Rebecca Black call, I was like, this is like a synchronicity. Like, this is kismet. Like, this was meant to happen. Like, we should hang out. And I genuinely meant that because I was like, I feel like we would.
Madeline
Kiki, remember when we. I mean, we do, because we ran into her one time at erewhon in like 20 something like a few years ago, and we all just sat down and had lunch for like two hours.
Drew
That's where we got our numbers. Because she was like, why do I have your number? And I was like, why do I have.
Madeline
I think we were all on, like, literally the most joyful vibe ever. And we were all just like, dead sober in the middle of a Tuesday. Like, yeah, we need to do this.
Drew
We're best friends. We're best friends now.
Madeline
Which is a gag. I love that.
Drew
Okay, what was I saying before I got distracted by my prank calls?
Madeline
Like, why the would we know?
Drew
Because y' all are supposed to be listening to me, right?
Madeline
You went off on a tangent.
Drew
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't fucking yell at me, y' all. You saw that, Kai. See, this is why I did hate women. They yell.
Kai
Okay, I disagree with that part.
Drew
Kai agrees with that part.
Kai
No, I don't.
Madeline
I know he looked up from his text messages and he said, I agree with that part.
Kai
No, my instincts kicked in and I. I defended women immediately.
Madeline
No, I don't remember what you saying, bro. Like, I literally. I have no recollection.
Drew
I'm like, literally, like, shaking right now.
Madeline
Because you're so nervous.
Drew
So nervous. Madeline has a bunch of to talk about.
Enya
Oh, yeah, you have some stories that I don't think we talked about last time. Like, over the last, like, year, I've just been like, oh, when I would Bring something up to Stephen. Like, oh, my gosh, this happened. I would be like. That might be a good thing to say on the podcast to get your reaction.
Drew
I'm scared.
Enya
It's not bad. I mean, they're funny.
Madeline
Okay. Yeah.
Drew
Oh, bitch. We were talking about this yesterday. The real reason why I fake killed myself.
Enya
Oh, yeah.
Drew
But I'll let you tell those first and then we'll get to that one, because that one, there's. We. I think we're finally brave enough to tell y' all the real reason why I sat on the floor with my pills.
Enya
I really don't think we talked about.
Madeline
It because I thought for attention, like, it was just like, he want, like, nobody.
Drew
Well, famously like that is what it was. But there was a deeper meaning behind.
Enya
The reason why he went and did it. But I was too embarrassed and I didn't want to tell anyone that. That's probably what, like, why.
Drew
We'll have to remember, cuz we'll leave that little bit and y' all have to listen to the end challenge.
Madeline
You're so dumb.
Drew
No, I'm a business.
Madeline
Oh, you're entrepreneur.
Drew
Yeah. Cow manure.
Madeline
Okay, I want to know one of the stories because I want to know if Drew is a badass kid.
Drew
Do you have like a. Yeah.
Enya
Oh, well, no, these aren't Drew being bad. These are, like, funny.
Drew
Okay. Thank God.
Enya
Okay, so the first one is. He was actually a really good brother. This was a good brother move. I really wanted to do the talent show, and I.
Drew
We didn't talk about this fuck.
Enya
And I didn't want to do the talent show alone. I was in, like, fourth grade. But I really wanted to do my dance. Well, my dance was to the song Conga. Come on, baby, conga that song. So I really wanted a backup somewhat dancer. I wanted someone on stage with me. So we recruited Drew. I wish there was footage out there.
Drew
There is. There is.
Enya
There is somewhere. And I. I'll insert it right here.
Kai
I'm sure I can find it.
Drew
Yeah. I've been doing drugs. I've been doing this.
Madeline
I've been doing that.
Drew
I've been riding quick. I've been riding flat. I've been really sick. I've been back.
Enya
I posted on Facebook asking if anybody from, like, our town had possibly recorded the talent show, because I know somebody had to. But I wanted footage of Drew back there. My mom had used our bar stools and turned them into Congos or Congo. Yeah, Congo. And wait. Yeah. What is it called?
Drew
Bongos.
Enya
Bongo bongos. And Drew's in the background while I'm dancing, going like. Like, fake the entire two minutes of this song.
Madeline
You know what's crazy is that's kind of now like. Like. Like. Yeah, like a tick. He does. Like, he literally. Like, literally, when he's trying to be.
Drew
Silly, he'll be like, you guys, I'm a good brother.
Enya
Yeah, that was really nice.
Drew
A given a take. Because I also probably within the same month, chased you with a blade around.
Enya
The house or made me do something in exchange for you going up there.
Drew
Exactly. I was at every one of your dance recitals, too.
Enya
Yeah, if you didn't have baseball.
Drew
I loved your dance recitals.
Enya
Did you want to do it really bad, like a Troy Bolton?
Drew
Yeah, I really wanted to.
Madeline
Did you?
Drew
Actually, no, no, no, no.
Madeline
I was gonna say, like, I have no rhythm in those bones. Like, there's no world where that was your call.
Drew
I don't have rhythm in my bones.
Madeline
What, you have something in your bones?
Drew
Yeah, Marrow.
Madeline
Okay. I'm like, next. I literally feel like when Luna was like, like, skip.
Drew
Oh, yeah. Luna in the car yesterday, like, got an ad and was like, skip, skip, skip.
Enya
Well, no, it was basketball, and she was.
Madeline
Well, she was kind of tapped in for a second.
Enya
Yeah, she was watching. I was like, drew, you'd be proud. Luna's watching basketball right now. Because it was, like, an ad, and she was just sitting there watching it, and then all of a sudden, she goes, skip.
Madeline
I'm not kidding. I genuinely think she listens. And she knows that we would find that fun, funny, because I'm like, she knows. She takes such a while where I'm like, that you're a little.
Drew
If. If she says, like, a bad word or something that she's not supposed to say and you, like, laugh, she, like, latches on to it and, like, knows, and you just can't laugh around her.
Madeline
But, yeah, it feels like you can't get her to say. That's kind of how one of my little siblings was. He still doesn't curse, though. He, like, hates cursing. But as a kid, he would admit that there have been times where he's cursed. But you couldn't. You couldn't pay him to curse. Like, there's nothing you could give him to cur, because it's just out of stubbornness, because he thinks it's funny that adults want to hear him curse, and he's like, no, bro.
Enya
Okay, so another thing again, I don't know if you've talked about this. You all have been doing this for so long. I don't know what stories you have and haven't said, but I thought of the CC's pizza, how you got banned.
Drew
I haven't talked about this.
Enya
You haven't?
Drew
I haven't talked about this, and this is bullshit. This is fucking bullshit. CC's fucking pizza. Fuck you. I'm banned for life.
Madeline
Wait, actually. Oh. I was like. I don't feel like CC's has it like that. Like, I don't think they can ban. Yeah.
Enya
In school, if you got AB honor roll or more like a honor roll, a B honor, or whatever, you got to go on a field trip one day to cc's, and if you didn't, you had to stay.
Drew
Back at the school is like, a pizza shop for the people that style, like.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
And that white pizza kid, it was good. The white sauce. I need to get that. Is there one here?
Madeline
I think so. I don't know.
Drew
I'm getting.
Madeline
I know there's Cece's pizza in Miami, but I haven't been in so long.
Kai
Don't do that.
Madeline
That was a delicacy me and my family couldn't. Couldn't afford.
Enya
Oh, man.
Madeline
Okay.
Enya
And so Drew, we got to go, and he. He was, like, messing with one of his friends, and I. You put, like, pepper all in his drink or something.
Drew
Dumped an entire salt shaker and, like, 50 of a pepper shaker into his soda.
Enya
Into his soda. When he got up, and the kid came back, and it was, like, his best friend, so he wasn't, like, bullying the kid. Like, if it was bullying, I would understand, but this was, like, his best friend.
Drew
And it's also free refills challenge, so keep that in mind.
Madeline
Well, actually, you wasted about 20% of salt.
Drew
Exactly.
Madeline
Or 20 cents worth of.
Drew
Exactly. Exactly.
Enya
Yeah. So Drew did that, and the kid drank it, and he, like, freaked out. He didn't go tell the badger. Yeah, he didn't.
Madeline
Well, yeah, because he just got a straight dose of salt and pepper to the back of his throat when he was expecting, like, Dr. Pepper or some.
Drew
I don't give a.
Enya
Well, the teacher, like, came over, obviously, because he saw the kid, like, freaking out, and Drew got banned and no longer could go on those, because I think we would go every month.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Like, it was, like, a monthly thing.
Drew
It was.
Enya
It was every six months, six weeks that we would get to go. And so Drew got banned.
Madeline
Okay.
Drew
And I was a honor roll every time.
Enya
And then he had to stay. I was literally just.
Drew
Oh, so much.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Literally so much. Was it?
Enya
No.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
I can't remember if I stayed at his grandparents house. He had like the craziest Littlest pet shop collection.
Madeline
Oh my God. This girl I knew growing up had that too. And I would hella take from her.
Drew
Yeah, I wanted to steal from him so bad. Did I ever tell you that I stole from. Yeah, I literally stole his like exodia and like he, I helped him look for it. Like he was like, I literally.
Madeline
That's crazy work actually. No, I can't lie.
Drew
No, that's classic. That's classic.
Madeline
I've done the same.
Drew
Oh yeah.
Enya
Maybe it's over here.
Madeline
I'm like, I could have sworn I saw it. Like I swear I saw it right here.
Drew
No, for the girls that know the Exodia 5 card set is like like really the creme de la creme.
Madeline
I. I would be shocked if like what is that? That's a little pet shop.
Drew
No, that's a Yu Gi oh card. But the littlest pet shop, his sister had a crazy collection and we would go play with them because we were going to like a NASCAR race the day before or the day. The next day and we had to wake up really early and we instead of playing like WWE or whatever like boys did, we played with little pet shops. I mean we were literally like 8 years old too. Like we were old as.
Madeline
I mean. Yeah, I would just take from that girl because she was the girl who I would take from was like that.
Drew
Literally is the gay agenda.
Madeline
My.
Drew
No, no, no, no. Like for you, me forcing that kid to play with little special because you wanted to. I wanted to so bad.
Enya
I wouldn't.
Madeline
Were you trying to make it like a boy game? Like I don't understand why he had.
Drew
I don't remember.
Madeline
Or you just didn't want to play alone?
Drew
I don't. Don't make me play alone.
Madeline
Yeah, I would play Lily's Pet Shop with this girl and she was really rich. And this was the girl who, who I. When going to her house, I was like, she actually was like now looking back, I don't think she was rich, but for me she was a millionaire. Like what we had people like that.
Enya
Yeah, I would go to and I was like, whoa, how the birthday?
Madeline
Like in what world? And I would take her and I didn't feel that bad because she would bully the out of me. Especially when my teeth started falling out because I have like crooked teeth and I had really crooked teeth and I used to good teeth teeth or I had braces but like my teeth still.
Enya
Yeah, yeah.
Drew
I Think they look like my teeth.
Madeline
Are getting really slanted because I need to take my wisdom teeth out and I refuse.
Enya
You haven't taken them out?
Drew
Well, no, because if she gets them taken out, she has like a 50 chance of, like, losing all sensation in her face.
Madeline
Yeah, they fear mongered the out of me. Like, I went to get X rays and they were like, oh, my God. At first they were like, oh, my God. You're like one of those patients who. Your nerve endings are like. Your nerves are really wrapped around your wisdom.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
And they were like, that's fine though. And then when I got the full scan, they were like, oh, that is really close. And then I went to two dentists and both of them were like, it can be done. And like, this is more rare than not, but, like, there is a chance. And we have to tell you that because you will lose, like, feeling because of, like, how much we're gonna have to numb you and with how much we're gonna have to use. It might last a week. But we have had patients who, like, they never get certain feeling back because.
Enya
Probably wouldn't be worth it because, like, people don't get their. I'd rather that all the time.
Drew
I feel like wisdom teeth are like a scam in the dentistry world. It's like, yeah, you have to.
Madeline
I mean, they hurt, though.
Drew
But it was fun because I got, like, perks for like a week and I was like, up. I was like, high as.
Madeline
I. I think I'm gonna get my wisdom teeth out tonight.
Drew
Let's go. But you have to give me half of the perks.
Madeline
You're gonna have to buy them off of me. Don't play.
Drew
No. Speaking of nerve endings, one time I was, like, plucking my nipple hairs when I was really young, and there was a clear hair sticking out, and I was like, oh, let me grab it. Yank out. And it was like a seven inch.
Madeline
Ah, dude, that's actually gross.
Drew
It was a nerve. And it hurt so bad my nipple fell off also.
Madeline
Okay. I think I might just make this a reoccurring thing, because there are things I realized that were just things I got really scared of because of my OCD as a kid. And I used to think everybody got scared of it as much as I did when I would hear the news. But my brother's close friend, when I was in, like, fourth or like, third grade, they went on a trip and he came back and he had a tapeworm. And it was like a huge point of discussion. And I was so petrified because I was, I was like we were, we were in his presence. We've always been in his presence. He gave us the tapeworm. Like in my head there was no way. And like when I was using their bathroom, I was so fudgeing scared I would like hold my pee in there.
Drew
I think that might be a thing though is like don't use the bathroom after someone.
Madeline
I think you're not supposed to.
Drew
But like a tapeworm but I don't.
Madeline
Know around me gave a fuck. Everybody was like being cautious around him, but I think think he had already gotten rid of it. Like I don't think my parents would have like let us all mingle if he actively had it.
Drew
Wait, why are tapeworms not a thing anymore? Like I feel like it's.
Madeline
I don't know. But as I was really, I would look up every time I got to a computer in like computer class or something, I would look up a tapeworm and see what they look like. And I was really convinced and I like I was so convinced I had a tapeworm. Like, like sometimes I would eat and still be hungry and I'm like, it's because of my tapeworm. It's literally my tapeworm. I can't keep eating because like, like I'm feeding the tapeworm and it's going to get huge.
Kai
You can use the bathroom. You're just not supposed to play with someone's poop that has a tapeworm. So just don't do that and you'll be good.
Drew
Impossible for me though. Like that's literally the only reason why I go to the bathroom.
Madeline
That's really gross.
Drew
So annoying.
Madeline
You can't poop. I know it's not something you do actually.
Drew
I've stopped bitching about it though.
Madeline
Yeah. Is your like, are you on a regular schedule or. We both kind of fell off. We don't talk to each other about.
Drew
Like our, our bowel movements. It's like not a thing anymore. Meline.
Madeline
I guess cuz we don't share a bathroom for the first time in six years. And I feel like we only shared it is because we would be like oh, don't like chill and going yeah, chill. Damn you. Me and Josh shared a bathroom for like six years.
Enya
That's crazy.
Drew
Yeah.
Madeline
It was lit, it was sweet. A.
Drew
And we really never ran into like people trying to get in when we were in there.
Madeline
Yeah, we kind of had like all we. We synced our cycle.
Drew
But also we had two bathrooms but we didn't use one of the them because the guy that broke into the house dry shaved his pubes in the shower. And from that moment on, also was.
Enya
A storage unit, I was gonna say.
Madeline
But also our storage. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Not too much on me and also not too much on the landlord, because I'm tight with her and I, like, seriously, like, do love her.
Drew
Wait, no one said anything?
Madeline
She is crazy. No, I'm about to go in on her. She's crazy as for ever. Even saying that to a two bed. First of all, she said it was a two bed, three or a three bed, two bath.
Drew
Two bed, one bath.
Madeline
That's a two bed, one and a half, one in a toilet.
Drew
And one of the bedrooms is a living room.
Madeline
And like it that I am. I am too crazy of a person, I guess. We left a lot of clothes by me. Left a lot of clothes by the water heater. But to me, I hated showering in there because, remember, I tried to make that bathroom for a long time, but every time I showered in there, I was convinced that the humidity was going to make the water heater explode because they were in the same room, which is probably not a thing, but, like, that's. I don't know. It just felt like that. It felt like that was going to happen. Also, the window in there didn't shut, so every. Everything you did in there, the window would rattle. And, like, every move you made felt.
Drew
Like somebody was, like, coming around mile per hour. Gust of wind would, like, literally, like.
Madeline
Also, the door didn't lock, so you had to pray. Nobody wanted to go down downstairs. Like, at any point, you were in that bathroom, because to get through that door, it's.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
I miss that apartment. Honestly, I can't believe Luna's been in there.
Enya
She was. Yeah. Oh, we need to get an updated photo.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Before we leave.
Madeline
In the chair.
Drew
Yeah. It's degrading. And she's growing.
Madeline
Oh, she's taking all.
Drew
Madeline, I wanted to ask. What. What is something that I do that pisses you off to this day?
Enya
Oh, you should have asked me this a long time ago so I could think about it.
Drew
Think on it. We'll get back to it. I know what you do that pisses me off to this day.
Madeline
God, you've been waiting for this.
Drew
I have a list. I have a list. You bite.
Enya
Tell me you.
Drew
You bite. She still bites. Yeah, she bites.
Enya
You bite him. Yeah, I do.
Madeline
I mean, it's your motherly instinct. It's coming out every time Drew gets close to Luna. Madeline.
Drew
No, it's like, I'm not Drew. Joking. She literally bites me.
Madeline
I mean, Josiah bites.
Drew
I'm kidding. I'm kidding, guys. Madeline does not buy. Madeline does not buy it. I'm not gonna.
Madeline
I stand by your rights and your wrongs, because I'm not kidding. Like, that wouldn't change the way I look at you.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
If I found out you. Because, like, honestly, I could see that.
Drew
Like, I'm teaching Luna how to bite right now. I think. I think it'd be good for her to bite other kids in school.
Enya
Yeah, please don't.
Madeline
I was literally, like, trying to think about that always.
Drew
There's always a bit.
Madeline
The class. Luna would never bite.
Drew
No. She's not the fighter, but I remember the biter in my class.
Enya
She did hit me for the first time on this trip.
Drew
Oh, yeah. Luna hit Meline.
Enya
Sorry, I'm going to out Luna. But this was her first time.
Drew
How can you know? She's only two.
Madeline
Also, you should have out her. That's, like, kind of up.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Problematic.
Enya
Yeah. She's actually never, like, hit out of anger. Like, we've gotten very lucky that thus far. And, like, also, she's really doesn't throw your typical tantrums. She's maybe done, like, one where she, like, tries to lay on the ground and won't let us pick her up. But luckily, she hasn't learned the, like, flailing the arms and legs and stuff like that. Yeah, please don't. But the other day, if we were trying to get her out of the bathroom, out of, like, Drew's bathroom, because she was, like, messing with stuff in there, and she was angry with us, and she, like, looked at Steven, gave him, like, an angry face, and then literally came over across the bathroom to me and just. Just went boom. And hit me on the leg. And me and Steven looked at each other, and we were like. We've never had to deal with that.
Drew
Cried, laughing.
Madeline
I know I would have up so bad because I would have been like, what?
Enya
Like what? We never have dealt with that. So we, like, looked at each other and, like, panicked.
Drew
We probably learning it from somewhere. Meline and Steven, it's you. It probably is me.
Enya
It's crazy that it's. While we're here. Oh, yeah.
Drew
And you hits me. Me?
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
Well, yeah, duh.
Enya
But she, Me and Steven, we were like. We just kind of, like, paused for a second, and I was like that, ow. I was like, fake cried. I was like, ow. You made mommy sad. And she looked at me with pure terror in her eyes, and Literally started bawling, like, bawling, like, tears out of her face. And we're like, it's okay. It's okay. Just say I'm sorry. And so she was like, sorry, Bobby. And then I was like, do you want to put a band aid on it? And so Luna, we play, like, we put fake band aids on, and she put a fake band aid on where she hit me. And then she was fine. But she remembered it hours later. Yeah, she heard us talking about it. And she, like, she goes, I make mommy sad. And I was like, you did? And, like, also, I've always heard that, like, don't use that as, like, a tactic, because kids don't care about your feelings at this age. They don't know what a feeling is. But. But Luna has empathy.
Drew
Like, she's not.
Enya
In that moment. She literally felt so bad for me. And I, like, made me sad for her, though, because I was like, I just made her that.
Drew
No, it would have made me cry.
Enya
But hopefully she doesn't hit us again.
Madeline
Like, don't throw a tantrum in front of her. Literally. I did yesterday when I was, like, standing in front of the. And I, like, threw a tantrum and threw myself on the floor. And then I think I scared her. I didn't. I felt so bad because, like, I heard her talking and then I heard her go silent. And she looked over. She's like, enya.
Drew
Yeah, she, like, just herself, Madeline. Just herself. I caught it.
Madeline
She, like, ran over. And then I just started, like, laughing and, like, smiling at her and was getting silly, and I was like, I forget. Kids are like. She met that point where she's cognitive enough to just see something someone's doing. And I'm like, like, yeah.
Enya
She mimics everything, dude. It's crazy.
Drew
It's so scary. It's actually not that crazy. Yeah, Like, I. Mim. I mimic, too. Like, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Madeline
I mean, you're comparing yourself to, like.
Drew
A. I mean, you're comparing yourself to, like, a. Oh, my God.
Enya
Speaking of the little girl.
Madeline
Hey, girl. Oh, my God, you are the cutest girl on the planet.
Enya
She just hiked from a nap.
Madeline
Oh, take a break from hi, girl. No, dude, you need to, like, actually finish it.
Drew
There's, like, say hi.
Madeline
Honestly, can you take that one back out? And then just.
Enya
You actually are so sweaty.
Madeline
I know.
Drew
There's no air condition up there.
Madeline
Oh, no. You can turn it on if you go into my.
Drew
I was joking. We're putting.
Madeline
See, I'm not kidding. It's a dumbass, man. Like a man. I have had plenty of men. Be like, there isn't any. I'm like, did you look for a.
Drew
No. She's so scared of Kai. Yeah, I. I could fix that too.
Enya
Are you waking up?
Drew
Can you say hi? She goes, I slept good.
Enya
I slept good.
Drew
Can you say hi? Emergency intercom.
Madeline
Yeah, say emergency intercom.
Drew
No, no, honestly. Good.
Madeline
Do you stink? Yeah. Poop. Oh, you pooped.
Drew
What?
Enya
No, you didn't.
Madeline
I pee. Pee?
Enya
No.
Madeline
You're so cute.
Drew
That's literally Kai to me.
Madeline
I pooped.
Drew
I pee peed.
Enya
Look at what Enya found. Who is that? Dora? Is it Dora?
Madeline
Not me. Dora.
Enya
It is a little Dora. She's, like, adorable.
Madeline
She's like, yeah. What else is over there, though? Like, what, she's gonna rob the store. Luna, who do you like more right now, me or Drew? You don't have to answer. I know.
Kai
Media Train.
Enya
Yeah, it's a good.
Drew
Who do you like more, Luna, Mommy or daddy?
Enya
Yeah, who do you like more, Mommy or daddy? No, I don't think she knows.
Madeline
You love your mom and dad.
Enya
Just saying a rant.
Drew
Steven's crying.
Madeline
You were literally the cutest girl ever. And you're so funny and smart. I literally love her.
Enya
Can you say hi, Kai?
Kai
Oh, my God. I'm getting cool guy.
Enya
You're the new Josiah.
Drew
Oh, yeah. We haven't talked about yet Josiah. Like, we were on FaceTime with Luna 1 time, and, like, Josiah just made his typical.
Enya
Like, he was, like, 12 months old.
Drew
Yeah. Like, her. His typical, like, scary Josiah face, like, making just scary faces. And Luna, like, internalized that in that moment. She wasn't really scared in that moment, but, like.
Madeline
But she did go silent. Yeah, she went, like, deadpan.
Drew
Three or four months later, I'm like, FaceTiming Josiah again with Luna in. Luna freaks out when she sees Josiah, like, literally, like, out of the kitchen.
Kai
That's most people's reaction.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. To be fair. But she was like, Josiah was her first fear, like, for real. Yeah.
Madeline
I mean, when she saw him, she didn't really. She wasn't bothered, though. But I guess he doesn't look as scary. I really want him to do the face, but I kind of feel bad, like, because I don't know if she'll forget at this point. Does that make sense? Like, it feels like if she saw that in person, every time she saw him, she would be scared. Bye, Luna.
Drew
Bye, Luna.
Enya
Bye, baby.
Drew
I love you. I love you. Oh, wow. Actually, I take that back. I love her, Stephen.
Kai
My. My bathroom's also Kind of messed up at my house. So if you could.
Drew
I mean, if I'm already here, I might as well.
Kai
Yeah, it's like a hour drive.
Madeline
No, don't do that. You don't do this.
Kai
Okay, well, all right, well, you can just think about it.
Madeline
Well, because that's for us. It's different. Kai doesn't get that, bro.
Kai
You should at least turn the AC on for him. That's all I'm saying.
Drew
No, that's all I should at least. I'm not gonna cuss, okay? Because Luna's in the room.
Enya
Okay.
Drew
But I'll say it once she leaves.
Kai
All right. I'm not afraid.
Enya
Is it a little Dora, my looney. Bye, baby.
Drew
Thank you, Steve.
Madeline
Bye.
Enya
She really liked watching Paw Patrol earlier.
Drew
You have no idea what that little girl means to me. I would literally take a bullet for. And I actually am literally hurt that I'm not her godfather.
Enya
You won't have one yet.
Drew
So put me down.
Enya
Yeah, okay.
Madeline
I'll be the godmom.
Enya
I don't know if you want to take that responsibility on.
Drew
I'm ready. Madeline, this is something I thought about, and I have an answer. What is like, some shit we did as a family that, like, we thought was normal, but turned out to be, like, really fucking weird. Like, we talked about the poop knife on the last episode where, like, when, for those of you who don't know, we were taught from a very young age that when we're taking craps that. That by every toilet in the house, we would have, like, a butter knife and we would cut the crap off instead of pinch it off. So we would just, like, cut it and it would fall into the toilet. And then we would obviously wash the knife because it's, like, sanitary to do that. But when I went to college and I found out that people didn't use poop knives, like, I had a poop knife in the dormitory that I would carry in my, like, little case to the bathroom. Yeah. And oh, my God, it was mortifying. People like, why do you keep bringing a knife in there? And I, like, was like, yeah, where are yalls poop knives? Actually, now that I think about it.
Kai
I use poop scissors.
Drew
Yeah. Kai clips.
Kai
It might be a. Yeah, I don't.
Drew
Use a poop knife anymore, guys. Don't worry. But I did until I was, like, 18.
Madeline
No, you did it till you were, like, 22.
Drew
Yeah, I was hard to, like. It was hard to retrain my sphincter.
Kai
Do you let the poop just fall into the water? Or do you catch it first?
Drew
I catch it with my hand.
Kai
Right? Yeah, that's the correct way.
Drew
I hate the splash, baby back.
Enya
Well, to answer your question, I. Again, you should have asked me this a while ago so I can think about it.
Drew
This is an interview, Madeline. You're supposed to answer on the spot.
Madeline
Well, these are like, it's just jarring that like, Luna's more media trained than. Yeah, yeah, no, they are such, like, you're asking her to jog her memory in this moment. Like, damn, bro, you're not even taking her down memory lane. Like, you're not like, just took her.
Drew
Down memory lane with the poop knife. What are you talking about?
Enya
So I also have soil golf tournament in Chipotle. Also, if we wanted to talk about the George Straight concert.
Drew
Oh, I don't think I've ever talked about the George Straight concert.
Enya
There is also moving clothes pins in kindergarten.
Drew
I don't remember that one.
Enya
Well, it's just in general, like, when you would get in trouble, you would have to go up in front of the class.
Drew
I don't remember that, actually.
Enya
You don't?
Madeline
I remember that chart of like, it would have different colors have to go or ours. Oh, yeah. Sometimes they were out.
Enya
I remember having to move my apple from a green to a yellow.
Drew
Do you know what you did? I was so unlike you because you were like, goody too.
Enya
It was. I can't remember who it was. I literally was just talking about who it was. Cuz I saw him on Facebook the other day and I was like, that guy made me move my freaking apple. And like, I still remember the. Cuz I. That's the only time I've ever really gotten in trouble in school. And it was because he would not stop talking to me. And I had to go up in front of the entire freaking class. We both did.
Drew
Was it the kid that ate Elmer's glue?
Enya
No, it wasn't him. It was.
Drew
Do you remember what he did in the lunchroom?
Enya
What?
Drew
He like, ate a jug of Elmer's glue. And then like, he would. He would literally drink glue and eat crayons. Like, he literally would just do that.
Madeline
There's always that kid. As a kid, you could pay a dollar to eat anything. And I mean, like, oh, he was doing it for free.
Drew
He was doing it for free.
Madeline
Okay, see, that's crazy. Yeah, this kid had a hustle to his.
Drew
He literally was like jerking off in the cafeteria at one point. Yes, I.
Enya
Someone took home Dude, I. I wonder what people say about us. Like, meline And Drew, like, oh, my God. When they used to do this in first.
Drew
Mine is. Remember when Drew farted in front of the class? That was more third grade. Yeah, that literally. I'm not kidding. I didn't fart in front of another. Another human being.
Kai
Was it.
Drew
We had. Yeah.
Madeline
When we first. We had a family get so mad if somebody farted. Like, you were so prudish with your body in that way. Like, that was the only. Farts were just so disgusting, and it would make Drew.
Drew
Well, I hope I have my reasons. It's third grade. And we also didn't have, like, a farting family. Like, people's families, like, fart in front of them. And it's funny. Like, ours, like, that was off limit. One time Jared farted in. He. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. He, like, farted in his hand and then cupped it over my face. And then I literally projectile vomited into the kitchen. Kitchen garbage can. And from that moment on.
Enya
Well, wait, there's also video proof of Jared farting on me while I'm sleeping on the couch. And I'm literally.
Drew
We need to find that dude. Our brothers were up.
Madeline
Yeah, I can't. I can't even too much because I was, like, with Natalie and Leo, bro, there was a period where they were cognitive enough where they would get annoyed, but you knew, like, it wasn't the worst. But just to see your little sibling have such a visceral reaction to something that is, like, so. It was so funny, bro.
Drew
You used to spit on your siblings pillows.
Madeline
Okay. No, no. Also, I need to clarify. That was only one of my sisters, and me and her, we have gotten through it. Guys, there's no more spitting on the pillows. We're grown now. Now if it gets there, we're like, I want to slap the fuck out of you. We need to stop speaking to each other.
Drew
Respect. Do you. Did we talk about Jackass last time?
Madeline
I think you did, because.
Drew
Yeah, I mean, I've talked about it before, but our brothers used to, like, roll us down, like, steep hills.
Enya
They would be like, wagons.
Drew
Yeah, wagons and trash cans. And we would be, like, all cut up and bruised. And they recorded all of it.
Enya
Well, I wasn't really a part of that. I was left out. Out as, like. I mean, I have my older sister, too, but I was, like, five years younger than her. Six years. So I was always left out.
Drew
And we also called you ape.
Enya
Yeah, no. Chewbacca. Chewacca.
Drew
And, you know, Ugliest. Girl in the world when you look that picture.
Enya
Oh, yeah, we did talk about this one for sure. Yeah, I know that.
Madeline
So up. Dude. I don't know if I had anything like that for.
Enya
Yeah, y' all were low key. Me like, dude, I drama blocked all of that.
Drew
No, that's like brother now, right?
Madeline
It's true. No, I mean it is, bruh.
Drew
Well, okay. Also, keep in mind, I was the same age as Madeline, so I wasn't really leading the charge. I was just joining in and being cool with my brother. It was that computer room.
Enya
Yeah. Do you remember what mom's password was? You don't remember the. Our family computer password? Come on. If I say it, you're gonna be like, what?
Drew
Give me the first letter.
Madeline
F. He doesn't.
Drew
Was it fuck?
Enya
Fuck head seven?
Drew
Yeah, fuckhead seven.
Enya
Because mom was.
Drew
That is it.
Enya
Mom was apparently mad at the people setting up the computer or the WI fi and so she made that the password. That's what we were typing in at.
Drew
Like a 3 years old.
Enya
But again, our mom and dad were awesome, but a little too awesome in the sense of letting their six year olds die.
Drew
Letting us do whatever the fuck we wanted to do, bro.
Madeline
I mean, I was getting up to new good in my house. Also, I was one of the kids who was stealing medicine. So like my family always had to hide medicine. Cause I would go in the fridge and take it and like then my little siblings became those kids and it was so fucking annoying to like find them drinking a bunch of random medicine out of the fridge. Like, are you supposed to even keep medicine in the fridge? That's still something. I don't really.
Drew
Some of them are.
Enya
Yeah, there's like some that need to be refrigerated. See, I was the antibiotics type stuff.
Madeline
It wasn't like my family was putting like Dramamine and nyquil and Dayquil and shit in the fridge.
Enya
I don't know about that.
Drew
I don't think it's like bad for it. I doubt it. Probably makes it last.
Madeline
I guess maybe my family does it also because it's hot as balls in Miami. So if you like leave it out, it's like also gelatin because they melt it all together.
Drew
Yeah, I was the kid stealing medicine when I was 17.
Madeline
Oh. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and fast free delivery, Prime Makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more.
Drew
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Enya
Switch upfront payment of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month.
Madeline
Required intro rate, first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full terms@mintmobile.com.
Enya
Are you okay? Are you about to fall asleep?
Madeline
He's losing it.
Enya
Did you eat something?
Drew
No, I didn't.
Madeline
I still can't believe I ate it.
Drew
I actually ate a. I. I ate a chocolate chip protein pancake.
Enya
Nice.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Is that what that macro stuff was?
Madeline
Sorry, I'm trying to see if I have anything written down.
Drew
Have you thought about normal or abnormal? We did.
Enya
I think the food one was a good one. But no, because I've been talking actually.
Drew
No. Our entire family. Like, we would bring like the. We would bring Mormon kids to our house.
Enya
I know. Yeah.
Drew
And turn them out. We would give them soda and they would like. And all of them, all of them are ex Mormons now, by the way.
Enya
I had a friend that, yeah, she loved, loved it coming over to her house because it was like free reign. Like she was like able to drink all these sodas. She was off the wall when she drank those sodas. But like, yeah, she got to.
Drew
She was the kid. And she's cool as still.
Enya
She is now. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I loved her, obviously. She was my best friend.
Drew
She's like literally one of the only, like liberal people from Granbury.
Enya
Yeah. And like hardcore about it.
Drew
Yeah, she's real as.
Madeline
But since y' all gave her a soda, you unleashed. It's like that drink Drake Sprite commercial that actually happened.
Drew
It opened her mind.
Madeline
That was back when Sprite was actually crazy. Like it actually did those kind of things to your mind.
Enya
Yeah, I did think about some, like, unconventional things which also I don't know because I do Hear more about, like, I do hear more about, like, kids talking about this, but, like, the stuff we were watching as children, I, like, now being a parent, am like, like, what? Like, dad let us watch that.
Madeline
But then I was so you would.
Enya
Be like, how old were you? And I was like, oh, I was like seven. And I was like, oh, my God.
Drew
We were watching, like, people get like. Like jigsaw, like, literally, like, legs getting ripped off and like 6 year olds. Like, it was crazy. And then we also. I was talking to like, one of my friend, like, still really good friends to this day. And he was like, yeah, like, I remember the first time I came over to your house, like, like we watched Jaws and it was to this day, he doesn't get in the ocean because he's scared of sharks because of that movie. Because we were also like 6 years old. And then the second time he came over, he. We were watching a movie that had boobs in it. And like, my. We, me and Hunter were like, sitting like behind the couch watching. And then my dad knew we were watching and like, the boobs came on the screen and my dad just paused it and turned around and started said, did your parents let you watch this? And he was like, yes. And then, like, just kept watching it like it was crazy.
Enya
And his parents definitely did not laugh.
Madeline
Yeah, I mean, that's when I went over to my God family's house. My parents were kind of strict about, like, certain things. Like, I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies, so I still didn't watch a lot. But now I'm a baby when it comes to any kind of, like, gore anything, like, it's disgusting to me. But my God, family who lived across the street, they were like real horror fans. Like, they had all of, like, the Nightmare on Elm streets, like, Scream, saw Final Destination. They would always watch it and I would hear them talk about it. So, like, any scene I knew about from those movies is because I would listen to them talk about it. And then when my friends would talk about it, I would act like I knew, but they knew. Obviously my parents didn't let me watch that, but my older sibling got to watch it. And I would try to sneak around, but they would always catch me, bro. Like, they did not not play. I was like, I barely. And they wouldn't let me watch Scary movie with them. And that one really hurt my feelings because I knew Scary Movie. I was like, that's not even a scary movie.
Enya
It's like, funny. Yeah.
Madeline
But then my. My God siblings would let me Watch it with them.
Drew
And I was like, literally one of my earliest memories. Like, I. It was in Viejo house. Like, how old were we? We were like two.
Enya
We're like two. Yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
I have a memory maybe.
Drew
Yeah. I have a memory of me waking up, up. And all of the older siblings and dad were sitting on the couch. And I remember like toddling into the living room and seeing the tv and they were playing Mortal Kombat on the tv. And I remember just like bug eyed watching like Mortal Kombat, like people just getting ripped to shreds. And then Sam saw me and was like, drew's been watching us. And then dad picked me up and like, ran me back to the room. But like, like, I like, had escaped the crib or some. But like, I literally like, remember, like my journey down the hall. Like, that's one of one. That one. And then another really early memory I have is walking into the house that we grew up in Cimarron, and walking into that upstairs room that had the pool table in it and seeing just floor to ceiling presence, like, wrapped all up the walls for the family that.
Enya
Lived there before us.
Drew
When we were like touring the house.
Enya
I remember that the.
Drew
I was so jealous. And I thought that's what our Christmases were going to look like.
Enya
And our Christmas tree was never up there.
Drew
Yeah. But our Christmas, I. We had lit after Christmases. Like, we had like, our Christmases were.
Enya
Santa went all out for us.
Drew
No, like, they. They cooked. Like, remember we Christmas?
Enya
Yeah. Getting the weed.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Madeline
I thought you said weed Christmas. I was like, damn, your parents for real. Didn't give a.
Drew
No. I need to make it very clear, like, like, our parents were great. They were perfect. They raised good children.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
But a lot of the time, I had a lot to do.
Madeline
But I feel like that's most parents, sadly, like, most parents, even the best ones, their kid is gonna have something to say, like. Cause there's always. It's just too funny. Like, what? Because even seeing you guys with. I feel like going into adulthood, something I had to just swallow was looking at my parents and just knowing this is a person who was given a responsibility far out of their realm too early. They're stunted. We're all stunted. Blah, blah, blah.
Enya
And it's our first time. Everyone's first time.
Madeline
Everyone's first time doing it. And it's so funny, like, seeing y' all. Y' all do such a good job with her. But there are moments where I, like, step back and I'm looking I'm like, this is so funny because these two people are, like, dumb. Like, but, like, not dumb, but dumb the way we. I find all my friends to be dumb because I'm like, like, I'm like, oh, yeah, you for long enough to see you be so silly. Yeah, but you're. You're a mom now.
Drew
It's like the.
Madeline
The duality.
Drew
I don't remember what, like, point it was, but, like, realizing that, like, my parents aren't like, like, super geniuses. Like, I'm not calling my parents stupid, but, like, I.
Enya
They're not the superheroes that we like. Literally.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah.
Enya
They're just people, too. Like.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
I mean, my mom in a good way.
Drew
My mom is pretty close to superhero hero.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah.
Drew
Pretty damn.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
My parents.
Drew
She saved my life a couple times. Mom saved my life.
Enya
I also saved your life.
Drew
That's true. But you caused me to want to kill myself. Should we get into it?
Madeline
The reason.
Enya
Wait. First off, I want to say to the. Like, being scared and stuff or, like, watching scary stuff. Our parents wondered why we were, like, 11 years old, still sleeping in their room. It was because my dad would let us watch Chucky, like, so freaking young. He would put Chucky dolls at the top. Top of our stairs. See Chuggy dolls at the top of our. I'm still, like, terrified to this.
Drew
I hate going upstairs.
Madeline
Yeah.
Enya
And put chuggy dolls at the top. And then my mom would, like, get so fed up because we were, like, terrified of it. So my dad or my mom threw it away. Well, my dad got it out of the trash can and put it back at the. Like, my mom's like, watch me. Like, we're throwing him away. He's not gonna be here. My dad got it out again and put it back on the. The stairs.
Madeline
So annoying. Because she set him up for the perfect slam dunk. Like, perfect. Couldn't handle him.
Drew
My dad is, like, a. I would.
Madeline
Be the same way. Like, I think at this point now I'm much more cautious, but, like, oh.
Drew
My kids are getting trolled.
Madeline
I would troll the. I still do it to my siblings. Like, I can't. I try so hard not to do it to Luna because I'm, like, more aware, but I'm like, It's so easy to just lie to them right now. Like, they can literally. You can say anything. And they're like, what?
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
And, oh, by the way, see my vape on the floor when she was passing by? And because it's a childlike color, her eyes were drawn to It. And she looked down at it, and she didn't touch. And she just goes, what that? And, like, really low. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And she went to go reach for it. And all I can think is, I'm like, bro, it really does look like a toy. It's the first time in my life I have to think about leaving it.
Enya
Around because I'm like, there is a literal child.
Drew
I don't know. Also, I have told that story on this podcast, like, five different times. And I'm not kidding you. You literally said it the exact same way I've said it.
Enya
Like, really?
Drew
Yeah. Like, literally, verbatim. Like, it's so.
Enya
No, it's ingrained in my mind.
Drew
It was traumatizing. Like, people don't realize. And then when we, like.
Enya
Because I remember seeing that Chucky again on the stairs, and I was like. Like, freaking terrified.
Drew
And then singing. Mom and dad telling us to sing two the cable guys.
Enya
And they did not think it was funny.
Drew
And then Mom.
Enya
Not the right obvious mom.
Drew
And the cable guys did not think it was funny. So mom and dad got mad at us. And then we're like, why are you doing this? Why did you do that in front of them?
Enya
Gaslighting us? And we're like.
Drew
We were like, wait, you told us to sing it again.
Enya
We have to reiterate also, like, they. Mom and dad were awesome.
Madeline
No, they did really good jobs, especially because they twins. Twins would be too funny. Like, especially a boy and a girl twin. It's literally the traveling talent show. Like, I'm so. I would. I would. I would make my kids learn dances. Choreos. The two twins who talk over each other. I would have my twins doing that.
Drew
I would save time. I would hate for us to be boy. Boy or girl? Girl.
Enya
Yeah. There would be so much competition.
Drew
Oh, my God. It would have been terrible because you're very competitive, too. One time, Madeline, like. Like, do you remember the basketball game? Madeline, like, was psycho. Like, she. She's very, like, demure, very put together. Like, chill girl.
Enya
But, like, when I was in basketball, she was angry.
Drew
You were angry. You were violent. You. She would, like, push people over.
Enya
I would elbow people in the nose. Like, I was mad, dude.
Drew
Oh, yeah. It was crazy. And then you broke your wrist or your elbow?
Enya
My elbow.
Drew
Karma got its kick. This. It's giving a take again. And a yang.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah.
Drew
Right, Right. Well, did you think anything else on what I do that pisses you off? I'm dramatic.
Enya
I always say that. That's the first thing that came to mind. But, yeah, just being dramatic. I don't know. There's really not anything else. Honestly, I feel like you're a pretty good brother.
Drew
I am a good brother.
Enya
You've. You really are.
Madeline
I think you are.
Enya
Are. You really are. That's all he wanted to hear.
Madeline
I know.
Enya
He's like, oh, no, there's nothing. There's nothing. Oh, no, honestly. Yes. No, honestly. Which I don't live with him, so I. If I lived with you, what's yours in you being OCD and, like, needing to clean everything?
Madeline
Like, yeah, but the way he does it is so, like, oh, my God, look at me rolling my eyes. Like, it's so, like, sorry.
Drew
The house is spotless all the time.
Madeline
Literally finding my things in little piles where I'm. Like, it would have made so much more sense to just leave this where it was because I'm not, like, taking off my shoes and, like, throwing them across the room. They're usually where I see shoes or, like, I'll put them in a corner. Whatever. I do leave shoes around. But Drew does this thing where randomly, he just, like, becomes fed up, and he just like, we'll go around the house and he's cleaning, but what that means is literally grabbing me and Josh's stuff and taking it to our room and being like. And a pile right in front of our doors. And I'm like, this looks much worse.
Enya
He did make sure to tell me earlier two or three times that he cleaned the kitchen. He was like, I'm cleaning the kitchen.
Drew
Yeah.
Madeline
Up. Like, he doesn't move in silence. Like, everybody.
Drew
I'm not the tree in lasagna, babe. Like, no, it's literally, everybody's going to hear me.
Madeline
It's like, my flowers. My flowers.
Drew
Yeah, where are they? Where are they?
Madeline
You get them. You.
Drew
I run. I run a tight ship, and you either can handle it or you can't. And, like, it's my fatal flaw that.
Madeline
You are a freak out. You're. You're literally. You are the biggest Crash out. I know.
Drew
Like, crash out last night.
Madeline
Oh, not just like. And you've seen me o. You've seen me go through it. But Drew is, like, such a drama queen. But I've learned to like you.
Drew
You learn how to figure it out.
Madeline
You.
Drew
You.
Madeline
I grew up with a lot of drama queens. Like, all of my siblings were very.
Drew
Like, can we all agree also that ka is such a.
Kai
What?
Madeline
Yeah, I was going to think that. Yeah.
Kai
I was feeling. Where did that come from?
Drew
Where did you Come from.
Kai
From heaven. I'm like an angel.
Madeline
You've never been? No.
Drew
Kai is really gods. And we were talking about Kai the other day. Me and Anya were. We were saying how we missed you. He's the coolest girl in the world.
Madeline
You're so cute, Luna.
Drew
Yeah.
Madeline
Do you like glasses? Thank you.
Enya
Yeah, put them on. Is she pretty? Is she so beautiful?
Drew
It.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
What about me, Luna? Am I beautiful?
Madeline
Yeah.
Kai
Oh, again, media trained.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
The second one wasn't genuine.
Drew
No.
Enya
I love you.
Madeline
I literally want to pinch her. It's, like, so bad. I want to, like.
Drew
Can I have a high five, Luna? It's called love aggression.
Enya
Yeah, it actually does have a name.
Madeline
Luna. You make me so aggressive. I want to squish you. I want to stomp on you.
Enya
You want to go sit with. Do.
Madeline
You're a crazy girl.
Enya
Do you want to go sit with Drew or Inya?
Drew
Sit within. Yeah, Luna. I'm so hungry, I could eat. Do. She's out.
Madeline
Oh, I wish y' all could stay longer.
Drew
I know. We were talking about that today. We were sad that you're leaving tomorrow. And then he was like, why don't they just extend their flight? And I was like, they have a toddler.
Enya
Yeah, I don't think that's going to stay.
Madeline
And then I was like, yeah, I.
Enya
Guess we didn't have Luna with us. Maybe. But also, I know she's, like, the star of the show. Like, she's the reason why.
Madeline
No, I thought that because when we were all in the living room last night, if I didn't get the suds feeling, I started to feel like I was getting the suds. So I went upstairs. I got a bit sad, but, like, when we were all in the living room, I was like, damn us all. Hanging out is so vibe.
Drew
It's a vibe. Where were you showering?
Enya
Oh, yeah, you were gone for a long day.
Drew
Yeah, I was showering. Yeah, I did the everything shower.
Madeline
That's kind of what I was getting up to. And then I was gonna start cleaning, and I was like, oh, my God. Seriously, if I get locked in my bathroom cleaning one more time and this year, I'm gonna freak out.
Drew
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What was I gonna say? Oh, we were talking about how we missed Kai.
Kai
Oh, yeah.
Madeline
Who is we?
Kai
You keep saying Luna interrupted it, and I think we should circle back.
Madeline
Yeah, no, because the problem is the second I start being nice to Kai, it's like, oh, we're dating. Oh, what do y' all want do you want me to hit him or.
Kai
No, we're not dating.
Madeline
Sound off in the comments.
Drew
Right.
Enya
And this is gonna fall if you keep talking about it.
Drew
They're not dating. I'm not gonna say, oh, yeah, divine intervention or maybe something good. Guys, they're not dating. I just want to make that very clear. They are not seeing each other.
Madeline
Drew and Kai, however, let's.
Drew
I'm also not dating Kai, but Inyan Kai are.
Kai
I tell people that I'm dating Drew. Drew doesn't claim me.
Drew
Enya is not on Ozempic and Kai is not dating Inya. Yeah, yeah.
Madeline
And that's my out of it, bro. What I got in my fridge is nobody's business.
Drew
Is not wearing a wig right now. I love.
Madeline
Well, to be clear, I have Ozempic, ab shaving, a mini tummy tuck, a minor breast lift with a wig. A wig veneer.
Drew
Really? We need to start that route.
Madeline
I need to go to Turkey for my hairline, though. Who's going to send me me.
Drew
Wait, hold on, guys. Turkish Airwaves more like.
Madeline
Or okay, we need to let you.
Drew
Turkish Airways more like. Turkish hair waves.
Kai
Okay. Yeah, yeah, cuz. Hair transplants. I got it.
Drew
Turkey hair transplant.
Madeline
Okay, we're going to wrap this episode up because Luna is wanting her mother. Meline's going to go be a mother.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
And I'm going to go be a caretaker for my iPhone. That's fine, Drew.
Drew
Psyop corner. Oh, y' all thought. Y' all thought.
Enya
Wait, we didn't say the real reason.
Madeline
Oh, yeah.
Enya
People would be livid. They would be livid.
Drew
Yeah. Clock it.
Enya
Okay. Honestly, we hyped it up for, like, nothing, but basically, I don't know if it was the same day as the Chipotle thing.
Drew
I think it was the same day.
Enya
It might have. And that might have been why we were picking on you.
Drew
It was a golf tournament, and then.
Enya
Whoever wins at the golf tournament. Tournament score is better. We. They got to choose. So I actually beat Drew this time. Well, Drew was throwing a hissy fit because he really wanted to go to Chipotle.
Drew
Never had it. It was all over Tumblr at the time.
Enya
It was like a really.
Drew
It was in.
Madeline
It was huge.
Drew
And it was also the only. Chipotle was like an hour and a.
Madeline
Half away and this was pre. The gloopy mess. This was when Chipotle was.
Drew
It was top.
Madeline
Yeah, gorgeous. No one had seen it in real life, so we all thought it looked like those stock images. We didn't know the goop we were.
Drew
Getting into the gray matter.
Madeline
Yeah.
Enya
So we go there. We finally. I'm like, okay, find Drew. We can go. Because he was freaking out because he didn't want what I wanted. And so we go there. Drew orders a bowl, burrito, whatever, literally did not touch it. He took, like, maybe one bite. He took pictures. He took pictures of it, and they.
Drew
Went straight to my Tumblr.
Enya
Yeah, he took pictures and took, like, one or two bites.
Drew
Two. It was two.
Enya
So anyway, we were, like, making fun of him for that, like, being like, oh, my God, you made us go there, and you didn't even eat yada, yada, yada.
Drew
Soil, too, was thrown in there.
Enya
Yeah, soil. Well, then we're on our way home. And I don't know if, like, I said it or if my dad said it. It was probably me, honestly, but I think I said something about, like, Drew being gay, and I watched him, like, shut down. Like, we've never made that joke before. We've never said anything. And I watched him, like, shut down. And I remember just, like, looking at him, and I was like, ooh. I was like, that might have, like, extract something. That was something that was a little too far. Well, then, Drew, that's when he ran upstairs as soon as we got home.
Kai
That's literally also the same exact reaction that you do on the podcast. You, like, go silent and then you leave.
Enya
Yeah. So he ran upstairs, and that's when I was like, maybe I should go check on him.
Drew
Him.
Enya
And that was like, 10 minutes later. And I walk in, and he has, like, the pills.
Drew
I'm sitting here like this.
Kai
No.
Drew
With my pills. I was like, oh, they're gonna.
Enya
But then that's when I realized they're gonna learn. That's really when I started, like, thinking, oh, maybe that might be.
Drew
Maybe that is the thing.
Madeline
I remember once being the way you opened to your family accidentally. We were saying gay in the different ways.
Kai
It wasn't him uploading the photos to. Directly to his Tumblr.
Madeline
Yeah, it wasn't getting it. Not eating it. It for, like, photographing it.
Drew
Yeah. I remember one time, though, I had a very, very sweet, sincere moment with dad. We were like, I was probably, like, 12 or 13, and he, like, parents know, like, early. Early on. And, like, I was probably 12 or 13, and, like, it was just me and dad in the car, and I was sitting passenger, and it was probably, like, 10pm and we were just driving around our neighborhood, and he, like, looked at me, and he, like, pulled over the car, and he was like, listen, Drew, like. Like, I want you to know that, like, whoever you are, whatever you want to be, whatever life you want to live, like, I love you, and I will always love you, and I'm proud of you. And that stuck with me forever because we both knew what he was talking about. Like, we both. We all knew. But, like, so my parents are chill guys. Yeah, they was a joke. It was comedy.
Kai
It's also incredible for Texas, too.
Drew
No, it's tea. Like, our parents were, like, fucking liberal as fuck growing up. Like. Like, we really had that on lock.
Enya
Yeah, they really were awesome. And they still are awesome, obviously. But, yeah, so I never actually said the real reason, because I was, like, lowkey embarrassed and then gave me the.
Madeline
Laugh of a lifetime. So, like, literally, honestly, that is, like, the piece de resistance.
Drew
No, but every. Every. Everybody has, like, a story like that, bro.
Madeline
Oh, don't get me started with me and my siblings. Like, some of the words exchanged when it got to it, when it got, like, really nitty gritt. Like, we're going deep. Like, some. You told me in passing in the bathroom three years ago about what you didn't like when you looked in the mirror.
Drew
It's coming out.
Madeline
I remember. You think I don't remember?
Drew
That is so real. I do take a log. I do take a log of people's insecurities, but not.
Madeline
Not even on purpose. I think I take a log because I'm like, oh. Like, that's such a weird thing to point out, but I also have the kind of brain that you can't tell me anything because I don't get anything. And I pulled up on to it. And, yeah, me and my siblings would get down. Me and my sister, we would get into the kind of fist fights, but also, we were like, chronic bad girls club watchers. So we would get into the kind of fist fights that were, like, literally that you had to wear, is your decorum. Like, we would be on the wood floor, like. Like, holding each other down, putting each other down, like, literally counting down, like, oh, my God. But honestly, so fun. I wish me and my sister could, like, fight like that again, but, like, not seriously. Does that make sense? Because there is something about it now that, looking back, it is so funny, because did we ever hit her? That feeling doesn't go away of wanting to just, like, tussle with a sibling. I feel like it's more common for siblings of, like, the same gender.
Enya
Yeah. I don't. I think I was off limits.
Madeline
Yeah.
Enya
Because I think that was a thing. And I Don't think I really hit you either. Like, I feel like maybe the sister.
Drew
You would hit me a little bit. Bit.
Enya
Would I?
Drew
Yeah. And not like, crazy.
Madeline
Oh, my God, mine. You're evil. Wow.
Enya
I don't remember that at all, but obviously you would probably remember it more.
Drew
And our older sister.
Enya
Oh, yeah.
Drew
She.
Madeline
She.
Enya
Not to you.
Drew
Not to me.
Enya
No, I was.
Drew
I was.
Madeline
There is something. All of my home girls, there's something about two sisters that's like. Like, it literally is just like. Like, it's the Alien vs. Predator movie. That is what two for? Like, crossing paths hormonally and, like, it's not. It's not their fault. Like, just two girls going through it shouldn't be left alone at any given time and let alone, like, if it's competitive because let alone internalize. Yeah. My sister is, like, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous girl. So everyone, like, it was her word against mine, top to bottom, and that we fought. But now, like, I love her so much, there's literally, like, nothing she could do wrong in my eyes, guys. That's my crazy girl. I love her. Like, I wish we could fight.
Drew
Jody would beat the. Out of her brothers. Like, really, really.
Madeline
Like, I mean, from the sound of, like, the older brothers.
Enya
Yeah, they kind of.
Madeline
They needed that.
Enya
Like, oh, they were mean to her garbage fan.
Drew
No, they would pour liquid ass on me. Like, they would tase me and my friends. Like, they would chase us around with tasers until we pissed ourselves. Like, they were. Were evil, bro. They would hold me down and do what's called a turkey tap, where they would tap the sternum in my chest over and over and over again until, like. Like, it doesn't sound crazy, but, like, once you do it 150 times. Also, they would grab, like, this part of your. My leg, and it hurts. Oh, bad, dude. Oh, my God. But at the same time, I got my first taser with my older brother, and he made me tase myself with it so I didn't do it to other people.
Enya
Yeah, you had to go through it first.
Drew
Yeah. And then he also bought me my first gun, and he made me shoot myself with it so I didn't shoot other people with it.
Madeline
Oh, well, my badass cousin gave me a BB gun, and I only ever got to hold one for one second because I got it and immediately shot my older sibling right in the middle of the eyes while they were watching Naruto. And it was Christmas Eve, and I got the ass whooping of a lifetime. And everybody in my family was like, you just Ruined your gifts. And I really thought I was gonna get gifts, but I got all my gifts. You. And don't put that gun back in my hand, because you're next. I wanted a BB gun so bad after that. I. I couldn't believe.
Drew
Like, did you ever want a paintball gun?
Madeline
Oh, yeah.
Drew
I wanted a paintball gun so bad. Like, literally so bad.
Enya
Mom would have not trusted you.
Drew
No, because the second I got a. What are those things where you pull the thing back? Back.
Madeline
Oh, a slingshot.
Drew
A slingshot. I put a rock in a slingshot. I was trying to shoot it over the roof of the house, and I was like. I did it once and twice, and then, like, I aimed it, like, a little lower, kind of, like, not on purpose, but kind of on purpose to see what would happen. And then just pulled it back as hard as I could and let go. And it hit, like, straight into the window. Not. It wasn't even a window. It was even worse. It was a sliding glass door, so it was, like, the most expensive thing ever. And it's just exploded.
Madeline
Dude.
Drew
It was. And I, like, freaked out. I don't think I broke a bunch of windows, actually. I was stay. I stayed breaking windows.
Madeline
I only broke one window. And it was when my older sister woke me up to do the dishes. And I was so mad. And I was in my sister's bunk bed because I didn't believe in outside clothes on my bed. So I would sleep on my sister's bunk bed because she didn't give a. So I would sleep on hers. And my sister came in to wake me up, and I was. Was so mad that I turned over and, like, like, kicked or punched out. Like, I, like, was throwing a tantrum. And I smashed the. And I just taped it up, and there was hella mosquitoes and gnats and stuff covered in that crack. And I just covered it with the curtain because I was like, I can't.
Drew
I can't deal with this.
Madeline
Because I was. I was big. I was already, like, 15, so I had no business, like, throwing a tantrum.
Drew
You'd have to pay for it yourself.
Madeline
Yeah, I would have to pay. Figure something out. And I was like, there's no figuring that out.
Drew
Yeah. And you or Madeline, what's some bad shit you did that? Like, we didn't really know. I mean, you were, like, good all.
Enya
The time, but, like, genuinely, I literally could not tell you.
Drew
Like, you didn't drink or smoke or anything.
Enya
I was like. I think my first drink, I was 18, and it was when we were in Montreal when it was legal.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Enya
Like actually. And I was.
Madeline
Like, damn, this is a crazy combo because you're bad as. And you like, you did not play.
Enya
I like, stayed in the hotel room the whole time.
Drew
Yeah. No, there had to have been some, like, breaking a window or like, did you almost set the house on fire or did I make that up?
Enya
You must have made that up because I really.
Drew
No, that was mom throwing Christmas boxes in the fire.
Enya
Oh, yeah, that was mine.
Drew
Oh my God.
Enya
That was mom. No, I literally like, like we tried. Me and Steven tried to think about that. I was like, dang. I really was like, low key, a good kid. And it wasn't like I was like scared of mom and dad. Like, I just didn't want to like, disappoint them. I don't know. I was like always so terrified of them finding out about like. I don't know.
Drew
I was also scared of that. But I just figured out how to hide it.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
I was so good at hiding things from them.
Enya
I guess I just. Yeah. I didn't think I was clever enough to hide it. I don't know. I just didn't. Just didn't do it.
Madeline
Or it's because you're born to be a truth teller and this is a pathological liar.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you used to lie a lot.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
But now I feel like we actually believe you.
Drew
Who knows?
Enya
Yeah, me and mom were talking about that. Actually.
Drew
Who knows?
Enya
We're saying like, this is probably like three years ago. Our mom was like, you said something recently. Something happened, I don't know. And mom was like, I actually believe him. She was like, three years ago, I wouldn't have enough. But I actually believe it.
Drew
Three years ago, I was still a liar in yalls eyes.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Chop.
Madeline
Well, also, it's not like the liar in the dramatic combo.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
Like, I'm not a liar. Yeah, you're like, I'm an embellisher.
Enya
Yes.
Drew
I'm an exaggerator.
Enya
Exactly.
Drew
I was. We were just talking about that on the episode. There's a difference.
Enya
Yeah, Exaggerator. I would say that. Not just liar.
Drew
Yeah, there's a difference.
Enya
But no, we were laughing about that because mom was like, yeah, I actually believe him.
Drew
See? See? Well, mom also stole thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.
Madeline
Not.
Enya
No, she did not.
Madeline
No.
Enya
We're taking her to court.
Madeline
Taking her to court. And I'm going with him. I'm standing.
Drew
Yeah. And he's helping me.
Madeline
I'm going with my man to court.
Drew
She hates When I say that she does not. Like when you say that she's an embezzler. Embezzle my funds. Yeah.
Madeline
Truth. Cardstown. No. Pam is literally the best mom ever. Remember when I visited? When was that? I think I was there for Mother's Day or something.
Drew
It was when Frank Ocean dropped Chanel. Or was. Are you thinking at a different time?
Madeline
I think it was a different time. It was more recently. It was you, me and Orion were in town.
Drew
Oh, Easter.
Madeline
And I cried so hard saying bye to yalls mom. Like I literally cried like I was saying bye to my mom and I was like, oh my God. But she is just.
Drew
No, my mom is so mother. Like she really is Mother Goose.
Madeline
Queen mother.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
Are you going to do psyop corner Drew up.
Drew
My granny just said Q as in cucumber Lord. She's ready.
Madeline
What?
Drew
Kids don't even say dookie head anymore. They'll just call you A.
Madeline
Oh my God. I can't wait till like Luna gets to the point where she says something like.
Drew
Like.
Enya
Like she's trying to be.
Madeline
Trying to be mean. It's not going to come out as mean as she thinks. I want Luna like you like, like just think of whatever.
Drew
Yeah, no, I want Luna to be bad. Like, but not actually because for yalls.
Enya
Sake, like only at home.
Drew
Yeah, exactly.
Enya
Like I. I want her to be respectful outside. Like obviously respectful to like kind of like we were with mom and dad. Like we were definitely respectful to them, but also they let us like be ourselves. I don't know. But like we knew our audience. We knew who we were around. We knew where we were at. Like school. Dude, if our teachers knew what we were like at home, they would.
Drew
They would be out.
Enya
We live double life.
Drew
That's like we were actors. We were, yes, ma' am, no sir. And if we didn't say yes, ma' am, no sir. Like we would get like slaps on the back of our hands type beat. Like literally. Not like. I'm not saying. I'm saying like metaphorically not saying. We're actually getting slaps on our hand. Like what is the saying? Like, isn't there like a slap? Slap on the wrist.
Madeline
A slap on the wrist.
Drew
Slap on the wrist. Yeah, we would get like yelled at. And if we didn't say yes, ma' am, no sir. Buy you one McChicken and swear they had your back through it all.
Madeline
That's you. Actually, that's me. To Meline and Luna.
Enya
Yeah, getting us coffee.
Drew
I was bullied for liking anime. No, tell the whole story. You were running in the hallways thinking you were Naruto.
Madeline
Now tell the whole story. It's so funny.
Drew
I'm done.
Madeline
Okay, well, do you have any media you would like to share? Music, Movies?
Enya
I did not prepare anything.
Drew
What's the most recent movie you watched with or without Luna?
Enya
Luna Mufasa in Lion King. The live action.
Drew
No, like, you watch on your TV all the time without Luna. Oh, the Black Mirror episode.
Enya
Yeah, Black Mirror.
Drew
The first episode of the Black Mirror. Madeline and Steven were like, you'll have to watch it. And we watched it. It was actually, like, crazy.
Enya
It's. I think you left maybe during it, but.
Madeline
Yeah, getting sad. So I went to my room. Room A. Well, my media of the week is love, life and laughter.
Drew
Live, laugh, love. Wow.
Madeline
I actually don't have any media to share media.
Drew
My media of the week is. I don't know if you've heard of this app called Uber. Oh, but like, cars. Yeah. They come and pick you up.
Madeline
That's your.
Drew
And drop your.
Enya
I actually think we took one of those.
Drew
Really?
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, from Disney to lax. Yeah. That's so real. Yeah. Uber is a good one. Postmates is like Uber, but for food.
Madeline
My media is Funk Me by Marvin Gaye. That's it.
Drew
Mine. We were talking about songs that are like our life story. Like, if you could encapsulate, like, one song and it mean exactly what it feels like to be Drew or what it feels like to be Enya. Mine is Flow Floe by Philip Glass.
Madeline
And mine is We'll Live through these Long Years. I actually don't know the whole name, and I've said it before.
Drew
Is it Drive My Car?
Madeline
It's from the movie Drive My Car, which I've never seen. And thank you.
Drew
And this was Madeline. Thanks for being on Again. Sorry if I dominated the conversation. I tend to do that.
Madeline
I didn't feel like there was anything wrong with the way you presented yourself in front of two people who love you.
Enya
Yeah.
Madeline
Thank you for being on.
Enya
Of course.
Madeline
Sa.
Emergency Intercom Episode Summary: "2015 Was 6 Years Ago"
Release Date: May 23, 2025
In this engaging and heartfelt episode of Emergency Intercom, hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips delve into a mix of humorous anecdotes, family dynamics, parenting challenges, and poignant reflections on their personal journeys. Skipping the numerous advertisements, the conversation primarily revolves around their shared experiences, sibling relationships, and raising their child, Luna.
The episode opens with Drew and Madeline (Drew's twin sister) reminiscing about their unique bond. Drew humorously clarifies a common misconception about their childhood:
Drew [02:08]: "We ate our triplet in the womb. Have I ever told you that?"
Madeline playfully counters:
Madeline [02:15]: "I think you've said it at least 8 million times."
Their banter sets the tone for a lighthearted exploration of their early years, highlighting the playful yet supportive relationship they share as siblings.
The conversation shifts to more personal territory as Madeline and Enya discuss the trials of breastfeeding and parenting their child, Luna. Enya opens up about her experience with excessive milk production:
Enya [04:02]: "I have, like, 500 ounces, but it's all expired now. And I just will not dump it out because it, like, hurts my heart. It was so much work."
Madeline offers creative (and humorous) solutions for dealing with the excess milk:
Madeline [04:22]: "You should get it. You should get it evaporated. I'm not even kidding. Like, that's some. Like, you can't you make it into diamond and get it. Cute little thing."
This segment underscores the emotional and physical demands of motherhood, blending sincerity with their trademark humor.
A significant portion of the episode centers on Luna's development and behavior. The hosts share amusing and sometimes concerning observations about her interactions and growth. Drew expresses a mix of love and apprehension regarding Luna's emerging behaviors:
Drew [05:34]: "She was brainstorming... like, her face lit up because she literally thought it was gonna be Blue's Clues."
Enya adds depth to the discussion by highlighting Luna's empathy:
Enya [09:12]: "She literally felt so bad for me. And I, like, made me sad for her, though, because I was like, I just made her that."
Despite the challenges, the parents express immense love and dedication to nurturing Luna's compassionate nature.
Transitioning back to their own childhoods, Madeline and Drew recount various school pranks and misadventures. Drew shares his notorious prank calls:
Drew [17:07]: "I went through my phone and prank called every single person from my hometown that I haven't spoken to in over a decade."
One particularly memorable story involves Drew being banned from a favorite pizza spot due to an elaborate prank:
Enya [28:57]: "Drew dumped an entire salt shaker and, like, 50 of a pepper shaker into his soda."
These tales not only provide laughs but also paint a vivid picture of their mischievous younger selves.
Amidst the humor, the hosts touch upon more serious topics, including Drew's struggle with mental health. The conversation becomes emotionally charged as Drew hints at deeper issues beyond his earlier-mentioned stunts:
Drew [23:26]: "I have the real reason why I fake killed myself... the real reason why I sat on the floor with my pills."
Enya acknowledges the gravity of his experiences:
Enya [23:40]: "The reason why he went and did it. But I was too embarrassed and I didn't want to tell anyone."
This candid discussion highlights the importance of mental health awareness and the support systems within their family.
The episode also explores interactions with extended family members and friends, adding layers to their personal narratives. Madeline shares stories about pranks involving cousins and childhood friends, emphasizing the blend of love and chaos that comes with close-knit relationships.
A notable moment involves the introduction of Josiah, whose playful antics elicit both fear and fascination in Luna:
Drew [45:23]: "Luna freaks out when she sees Josiah... she was like, he's her first fear."
These interactions showcase the dynamic between extended family members and the impact on Luna's socialization.
As the conversation progresses, Enya and Madeline reflect on nostalgic memories, such as family trips to Disney and early school experiences. They discuss how their upbringing has shaped their parenting styles and personal growth:
Enya [37:38]: "They really were awesome. And they still are awesome, obviously."
The hosts acknowledge the balance between maintaining their unique personalities and adopting effective parenting techniques, illustrating their journey towards self-improvement and familial harmony.
In the concluding segments, the hosts share final anecdotes that encapsulate their experiences and the lessons learned over the years. They discuss the duality of being parents while retaining their individual identities, and the joy and challenges that come with it.
A heartfelt moment occurs as Drew expresses his deep love and commitment to Luna:
Drew [46:19]: "I love you. I love you... I love her so much."
This emotional declaration underscores the episode's underlying theme of unconditional love and the complexities of modern parenting.
"2015 Was 6 Years Ago" offers listeners a rich tapestry of humor, heartfelt stories, and introspective dialogue. Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips skillfully navigate the complexities of sibling relationships, parenting, and personal growth, all while maintaining the comedic essence that defines Emergency Intercom. Whether sharing childhood pranks or discussing serious mental health issues, the hosts provide an authentic and relatable narrative that resonates with a broad audience.
For those who haven't listened to this episode, it serves as a compelling testament to the intertwining of life's humorous moments with its more profound challenges, all delivered with warmth and genuine connection.