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Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through June 17th. Shop in store or online for your favorite personal care Items and save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Stock up on items like Dove Body Wash Degree Motion Sense Deodorant, Tresemme Hairspray, Dove Shampoo, Dove Bar Soap, Dove Men's Body and face Wash, and Dollar Shave Club blades. And save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Hurry in before these deals are gone. Off rents June 17. Promotions may vary. Rainbow restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Drew
No welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome back to.
Enya
Me digging in my big bag.
Drew
Let's do a bag haul. Let's see what's inside.
Enya
Dude, it's embarrassing. I have like three of the same lipsticks in here.
Drew
Why?
Enya
Because I just forget I have it. And on the way I'm like, I, I need this one.
Drew
You go and buy it from Sephora. Every single time you're in there, bleep out the S word I just said.
Enya
Oh, yeah, cuz our. Our big deal.
Drew
Yeah, our big deal. Our big Sephora collab coming soon. Or Ulta collab coming soon.
Enya
Ulta Tensor. No, wait, it's Tulsa.
Drew
Tulsa, Oklahoma. Tulsa, Texas. Okay, we'll start off strong. Why do some months have 31 days and others have 28?
Enya
That's your starting off strong?
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Did you do any research for it?
Drew
No. Why?
Enya
You just want to talk about it?
Drew
Why?
Enya
I don't know. I mean, I. I genuinely don't even know, like, why 365 days did that just sound good?
Drew
I think that's because the rotation of, like, the earth around, like, why couldn't.
Enya
It just go, like, be like, two. Like that doubled. Like, why did that have to, like, end the year?
Drew
Like, wait, what?
Enya
Like, because you're saying, like, because I'm. What I'm making comment on is, I don't understand, like, time. Like, why did we have to be like, all right, and then when that happens, the year is over and we're starting again.
Drew
Like, why does.
Enya
Why does time have to be repetitive? Why can't we just have a new one every time?
Drew
We kind of do get a new one every time.
Enya
No, but like, new months, like, damn, they could only come up with 12.
Drew
Yeah, but, like, at a certain point, it just starts doing the same thing it did last year.
Enya
Last night, Drew abandoned me at a bar. Oh. Also, we should clarify for our visual listeners, visual watchers. What do you call them? Like, what are you?
Drew
Tuner Inners?
Enya
Okay. For the people who tune in visually, we are at the Happy 99 shop in New York because we're in New York. We're.
Drew
And we have no locations to film, and they graciously offered us a space.
Enya
And you know what? When a good offer comes knocking out your door, you take it. When you get offered to be the. The first and only people to do a podcast in the shop, the.
Drew
The fucked up thing is, like, you just mentioning, like, take a good offer when it comes your way. Dude, I'm so annoyed I said no to this, but Harry Styles asked me to open for his Madison Square garden shows, all 10 of them. And I decided. I was like, I don't know, I just. I don't feel like it's the right fit for me. But, like, I. I said no because I was nervous. I was scared.
Enya
No, you're. You're an idiot. Wait, what?
Kai
That was really smooth.
Enya
Yeah, I know, I know.
Kai
I was impressed with that one.
Enya
But you see how you just cut me off?
Drew
You see how you made it not smooth?
Enya
Yeah, yeah.
Kai
Oh, I see how I it up.
Enya
Yeah. Ew. Looking, I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay, I see that. You're so stupid for not taking that out.
Drew
I know, I know. I deserve that. I deserve to be called stupid because, like, that could have changed my life in a very big way. But, like, again, I was like, did you just.
Enya
Did. Like, it's not that you felt, like, better than that, right? Like, why did you say no?
Drew
Yeah, it was. It was because I'm better than that. I should. I should have my own 10 shows at Madison Square.
Enya
Oh, okay. That. See, like, the thing is, at this point, we could pack out 10 things.
Drew
We could pack out, like, MSG. Yeah, we could pack it. Pack it out simply, like, $100 tickets.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
No, if you'd come to our show at Madison Square Garden, let us know.
Enya
The 30 people who live in New York who watch this. I'd go, but like I was saying.
Drew
That would be hilarious. 30 people in the crowd at fucking Madison Square Garden and us on stage.
Enya
Doing this reverb of the sound in there since there's no human bodies to catch the vibrations would be insane.
Drew
It'd be so lame.
Enya
What do sound checks there even sound like? Because it must be like an insane, like, also, I saw someone at this dance party thing and, like, a bunch of them. Did you had earplugs in? Like, they brought their own, like, earplugs, and they were nice. Like, a bunch of people had, like. I was like, Damn. These are people who go to this kind of all the time and want.
Drew
To keep their ears.
Enya
They have. Yeah. And they had, like, ones that hung around their neck.
Drew
I'm about to start doing that same.
Enya
Because I am getting a little scared of, like, losing my hearing that.
Drew
And, like, my ears hurt so bad every time I go to a concert. Like, it's so, like, annoying. Like, when we were DJing, I was like, dude, this is loud as.
Enya
Oh, my ears don't hurt. Because I'm an empath, and I'm, like, used to listening.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Enya
So it's like, my ears just don't hurt from, like, hearing.
Drew
Yeah. Do you ever need someone to talk to? Are you ever tired of just, like, being the ear for everybody else?
Enya
Honestly, I'm a bit of an egotistical kind of empath, because I don't even believe that there is another empath as empathetic as me. So it's like I. I find myself in this position where I'm like, who? Well, who do I turn to? Because the best listener is right here.
Drew
Yeah, well, I mean, you can have inner dialogue with yourself now. Like, you can talk to yourself.
Enya
Yeah, but sometimes you want to use your vocal. Like. Yeah, like, I want to. I want the vibrations of my voice.
Drew
Talk to yourself in a mirror.
Enya
Shock waves to my soul into a mirror. Yeah, but that's bad for your, like, your inner child, because you're looking at an adult you, and you're supposed to be. You're talking as your inner child, and then you're, like, confusing yourself because you're like, oh, my God, there's big me talking.
Kai
It'll still work for you, Drew, because you're, like, 14.
Enya
Yeah. Since you're only like. No. Well, he turned 16.
Drew
I'm turning 17.
Kai
I thought you turned 15 after you turned 16.
Enya
For some reason, he ages rapidly.
Kai
I thought you were going back.
Drew
No, no, I'm about to be 17.
Enya
Yeah. And then when. When he hits 18, he jumps back again.
Drew
Yeah, I see. See, I revert back when I hit a certain age. It's like this weird thing, and, like, it's like this health thing.
Kai
It's cool that your mental.
Enya
Oh, I. I know that it's a Benjamin Button disease.
Drew
It's like, it's half that. So it's just basically, they call it Benjamin because I don't age all the way back.
Enya
Oh.
Drew
It's called Ben Button Bin butt. Ben Butt disease. Ben's butts disease.
Enya
Like, I've been trying to say, Drew abandoned me last night. We're in New York, and we went to this bar, and it had a photo booth, and it was fun and slay, and for the first 30 minutes.
Drew
I actually tried my very hardest not to terrorize the vibe.
Enya
You are a champ. Because when I got there, you could tell that I could read your vibe, and you immediately bounced out of it.
Drew
Yeah, I was like, I wasn't terrorizing the vibe. I was just so tired. But. But, like, I rallied. I did my thing. I got a fudgeing beer because I'm a straight man and I drink.
Enya
He was cosplaying straight.
Drew
Like, I drank a beer at a bar last.
Enya
Drank a beer wearing an OPN hat.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
What shirt were you wearing? A jackass shirt.
Drew
Yeah, a jackass school shirt.
Kai
Very straight.
Drew
No, literally every. Everybody that saw me was like, wow, you look very straight today. Like, literally, I got, like, three compliments saying I look straight.
Enya
Yeah. Because at one point, we did the thing where we went to fake Kiss and Elsie. Like, you can. You can't do that when you look like that. It is so scary.
Drew
It's very real looking. But, yeah, I'll let you tell your side of the story, and then I'll tell mine.
Enya
So me and Josie were the only ones, like, really, like, taking in drinks because we're fucking crazy. And my girl wanted to have a slay party night.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
I was like, you know what? I'll tap in with her. So we were, like, having drinks, being stupid, and, like, we had been there for, honestly, like, way too long, and we should have left forever ago, but. But on the way out, y' all started a new photo booth picture. And. Or. Who did it? Was it Josie?
Drew
Yeah, it was Josie and Elsie.
Enya
Josie and Elsie got in the photo booth, but it was one of those, like, film photo booths, so you have to wait seven minutes for it to print. So they did that on the way out, and then we were like, oh, my God. Like, honestly. Me and Josie were like, honestly, just get in the car. Because me and Josie kept being like, we want a city bike back. We want a city bike back. Like, it's all we talked about. We were like, I want to get on a city bike. I want to get on a city bike. Because of my addictive personality, two nights ago, I took a city bike home, and it was, like, the most serene, beautiful bike ride in my life. So. Because I'm addicted to feeling, Being your.
Drew
Wallflower, having your wallflower moment.
Enya
It was also the most silent night on earth. I genuinely think that me and my friends were the only People, like, alive.
Drew
No one is talking about it. But New York literally does sleep. There is, like, a time that New York sleep.
Enya
Yeah. It's like, there.
Drew
It's after 10pm on the weekdays. It sleeps.
Enya
Yeah. Especially, like, I feel like in certain parts of Brooklyn, it literally, like, it's.
Kai
Also, like, not that windy here. For being the Windy City. For being the Windy City.
Enya
This is not the Windy City.
Drew
Oh, where are the orange trees, Kai?
Enya
Like, you've never been anywhere.
Drew
Oh, where's all the sun in the heat?
Enya
Wait, do you think the Windy City is California or Florida? What are you.
Drew
Where's all the mountains and shit? The mountain state? Like, what are you saying?
Kai
What are you saying?
Enya
Wait, it sounds like you don't know where the Windy City is either.
Drew
The Windy. The Windy. Shitty Chicago. The orange city.
Kai
I'm gonna take you to Chicago. I'm gonna take you to Chicago.
Drew
The orange city of Florida. Holy. Like, I love when. I love when y' all fight over me.
Enya
I thought you said I love women.
Drew
And I was like, I love.
Kai
Everyone's been fighting over you. I feel like New York.
Drew
I feel like I love.
Kai
A bunch of people have fought over you this trip.
Drew
Oh, so far. I don't know how, but I have hoes out here. It's crazy. But finish your story. We'll get into that in a little bit.
Enya
So I have to pull my pants down. They're, like, riding up my.
Drew
Go lower. Go lower.
Enya
You want me to take my pants off?
Drew
Yeah, we'll blur it.
Enya
Anyways, so I was like. Me and Josie were like, we need to get on a city bike. We need to get on a city bike. And, like, that was our main objective. And so then when Drew called the car, we were like, what? And it was perfect timing, though, because the fucking film photos had to be, like, developed out of the photo booth. So me and Joseph like, oh, just go get in the car. We're going to, like, literally have another drink and wait for this and then.
Drew
Go on a. I was. Okay, okay.
Enya
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we were like, whatever. And like. But somehow we. Like, nothing was being communicated through any person. It was like me and Josie fully understood each other's game plan, and Elsie and Drew had no idea what was happening. Is that really loud?
Kai
No, no, it's fine.
Enya
Sorry. The Transformers are outside, like, the robot, like, the big guys. But no one, for some reason on their end, didn't know what we were doing. And then I went outside, and Drew was like, oh, I'm calling another Uber, because that Uber literally just fucking yelled at me.
Drew
I got into this Uber, and he yelled at me immediately. Like, I haven't been yelled at like that since. I was, like, a child. Like, he, like, scolded me, and he was. I, like, waved at him, like. And he sat there for, like, I'm not joking, 15 seconds. And then I had to cross. I had to wait for three cars across the street. One of them honked at him because he did stop in the middle of the street, and it was three cars, and so I had to wait for them to pass. And I walked and got into the car, and he yelled at me, and I was like, you know what? I don't need this. So I canceled and gave him his $5 and called another Uber, because I was like, I can't ask him to wait any longer.
Enya
Yeah. So he got yelled at, and then he was like, I'm calling another Uber. And I was like, okay. And, like, I still didn't make it clear that me and Josie, like, were not planning on, like, getting back out. But you know what? It was, because I think there was a brief moment where I was like, damn, I'm, like, pretty drunk, and I don't know if I should be on a city bike. And then, like, I went back in with Josie, and because I remember I, like, finished my drink really fast because I was like, dude, let's just go with Drew. Like, we'll ride city bikes another night. And, like, we're, like, going fast. And I was like, fuck, I need water. Wait, so I, like, ran and, like, chugged a cup of water. And then we, like, we were like, oh, my God. Wait, where's the photo booth? And we're like, the photo booth picture isn't there. They grabbed it. We were like, oh, my God. And, like, we ran outside, and it was the most deserted I'd see the street. Like, it literally looked like a tornado swept through and picked up all the cars and humans that were on that street, like, two seconds ago. It was the deadest street I've ever seen. I mean, Josie, like, literally were, like, drunk and, like, hobbling like, we're, like, true.
Drew
Did y' all city bike back?
Enya
No.
Drew
Because then what took y' all so long?
Enya
Dude, it's so stupid. So then, okay, so we're like, oh, my God, they left. They're gone. And we, like, looked around, and we were like, no, they're fully gone. Like, they're just not here. And we were like, oh, whatever. So then I looked at the city bike. We walked to the city Bike, like. Like, whatever. And, like, I pulled up there, and then I went to go scan one, and then I was like, wait, I need water. And I was like, I'm gonna throw up. I need water. I need water. So we, like, ran back into the bar because there was no delis open, because it was literally the most dead street I've ever seen in my life. There's no delis on the street that were open. We were like, let's go get water. We ran in, chugged a bunch of water, and then we're like, all right, let's go. And we ran back to the city bikes. The second I took out my phone to scan it, my phone died. And I was like, oh, my God. And. And Josie was like, I can get one. I can get one on mine. And took, like, 10 minutes figuring that out. And then I was like, oh, wait, I can use my card. You can use your card on these Citibikes. So then I went. And I was trying to, like, do it, and, like, I did the whole thing, and then the screen just restarted. And it took me, like, 10 minutes to figure out how to use this fucking ye older machine. And then the screen just restart. I was like, dude, this isn't happening. And we stood there for, I'm not kidding, like, 20 minutes trying to figure.
Drew
Out it took y' all forever to get home.
Enya
And then finally, I was like, girl, this is not happening. My phone's dead. Yeah, I'm way too drunk to be on a bike. Like, we gotta go home. And then we literally, like, hobbled to a corner, and Jesse's like, I'll call an Uber. And I was like, okay. And then we just sat on the floor. I was like, Order McDonald's. Order McDonald's. And then he. He ordered McDonald's in a car. And then we went home. And then I almost threw up because I took a bunch of Drew's electrolyte powder and put it in water. Even though two days before, in the morning, when I drank some, I almost threw up everywhere. And then I had some when I got home, and I was like, I'm gonna throw up. I need to go lay down. And I went. Went to sleep.
Drew
Okay, the story from my perspective, since you want to air my out.
Enya
We were literally abandoned. You know what makes it worse? The reason we were so keen on waiting for the photo booth picture is.
Drew
Because your tits were all.
Enya
I pulled my tits out in it, and then they. They took my tits home. These bastards took my tits home and left me behind.
Drew
Yeah. And I Hung them up on my wall.
Enya
Did you?
Drew
Did you? What about it?
Enya
Did you play tug of war with yourself?
Drew
Not yet. I will, though. So from my perspective, we're at this bar. I'm the most tired I've ever been.
Enya
In my entire life.
Drew
Like, easily the most tired.
Enya
Which is also what Drew says. Every single night past 10p, he seems at 10pm and so does Drew.
Drew
Like, let me go, but my FOMO literally will not allow me. I know.
Enya
And then he's just like, they're like this at the table, like.
Drew
Like, staring, like, sleeping with my eyes open because I don't want people to know I'm actually tired. So we play a round of pool. I play with this weird guy, the weirdest guy I've ever seen in my life, and he's, like, talking all this shit to me where he's like, yeah, like, I'm. I'm probably going to beat your ass at pool. And I was like, yeah, you're probably going to beat my ass. Like, he was like, and I'm not, like, going to have mercy. And I was like, don't have mercy. Just be at my ass.
Enya
He wanted to you.
Drew
And then we, like, he's like, I'll let you break since, like, you're obviously not as good as me. He said that to me. And then. So I broke. And then he started, and he. You have to, like, call your shot on the first ball, apparently. I didn't know that was a rule. And he's like, oh, I didn't call that ball. So you can go for whichever one you want. So I went for the one obvious, like, the stripes that he made. And then, like, I started cleaning up the table, and I looked like a crazy guy. Like, I. I looked, like, actually good at pool because, like, I made, like, so many shots. And he was getting so pissed. He was like. He was like, whatever. Like, I'm just going to go to the restroom. I have to take a piss anyways. And he was like, don't cheat. And, like, he said that to me because me and Josiah were playing, and he was watching me and Josiah play, and I was, like, acting like I was cheating the whole time with Josiah. And Josiah went up to him and was like, watch out. He fucking cheats. He's a fucking cheater. I don't think he knew me and Josiah were buddies, but he was like, yeah, I'm keeping my eye on him. And so he went and took a piss. And, like, I made so many balls in a row, I actually looked like I sandbagged him. It looked like I. I was, like, cheating. Like, I had, like, faked being really bad so I could beat his ass in pool. Eventually, he did end up beating me, but it was really embarrassing because, like, he talked all this before and, like, was not much better than me at pool, which is, like, hilarious. And I haven't played pool in, like, 10 years, 12 years or something, since I was literally a toddler. But after pool, we're just loitering around, whatever. And I'm like, okay, I'm not taking a City Bike. I refuse to bike home right now. I'm too tired. So I'm like, I'm gonna call our car. Whoever wants to get in the car can get in the car with me. We relay that message. Inya and Josiah are both like, no, we're gonna. We're gonna city bike. We're both gonna city bike. And I was like, okay, fair. And I was like, the car is almost here, so, like, if you're coming, you're coming. If you're not, you're gonna Citi Bike. So they're like, okay. But then, right as the car pulls up, Enya shows her boobies in the machine, and this Uber that is already yelling at me is outside. And I'm like, I can't wait any longer. So I'm like, okay, India really does need to get those booby pictures. And it seems like she's gonna. She wants to ride with me in this car, so I'm gonna cancel this and get a new car. So I canceled it and got a new car, and I told Elsie. I was like, go tell them that the car is coming now, so they need to be outside now. And I was waiting on the curb, and Elsie ran inside, told y' all that the car was coming. Y' all were taking more photos in the photo booth, and the car pulled up, and I was just like, okay, so they're city biking because they're not outside. They would have been outside because I gave them five minutes to get their asses outside to get to this car, and y' all didn't. And then I get it. I text in the group chat, else he's like, oh, no. They know, like, that we left. They said they were going to City Bike. And I was like, oh, cool. Like, I don't feel bad, but I'm gonna let them know that we're on the car so they don't look for us or whatever. And then Josiah text back to my text. I was like, we left, by the way, in the car, and he Was like. And I was like, you cannot be mad at me. Like, I gave you all 10 minutes and two cars to get to the car.
Enya
Like, it literally felt like me and Josie were in, like, a funny ass episode of Always Sunny. Because, like, the way we, like, walked out and there was nobody on earth. Like, it felt so funny. Like, it was literally one of the best moments I've had in my whole life. Like, just being like, okay, hurry, hurry. And we were like, like, not running, because I'm not about to be running through a random bar. But we were like. We had fucking pep in our steps. We were like, we got to get out of here. And then we got out here. Like, we were like, am I tripping or is there literally no human on the street? And it was the best thing ever.
Drew
Yeah, it was.
Enya
Best night ever.
Drew
Last night was a movie. And then in. Yet you're kind of turning into Christian in a way when, like, anytime you drink, you're like, I drink way too much.
Enya
No, my tolerance is so much lower now, it's embarrassing. Literally the second we got there, like, my second drink in, I could have. I should have stopped there because at this point in my life, I only ever need two drinks. And then I'm like, I'm the drunk as I've ever been. I need to go to bed.
Drew
I rallied so hard because I wasn't even, like, supposed to drink that night, but I had a beer because. And I didn't even finish it or did. I don't know if I.
Enya
You carried it around for so long.
Drew
Yeah, I was like, I don't even, like, know if I want this anymore. But, like, whatever, I'm just going to try. But there's this new trend or something going around. I'm sorry, I farted. There's this new trend going around on Tick Tock or something. I don't know. I've seen a couple tick tocks about it, but it's apparently girls finding guys that listen to emergency intercom. Baby, baby, I have bad news for you. That man is gay. That is a gay man listening to emergency interconnect Run. I mean, but, like, you're his beard.
Enya
You're like the straight. Like, Like.
Drew
Well, yeah, but I'm like a face of it. Like, I'm the.
Enya
Oh, so you don't. You don't practice what you preach?
Drew
No, no, absolutely not.
Enya
Yeah, I saw that. The, like, what was it? She was like, who's your favorite? And he's like, I don't listen to that.
Drew
Yeah, there were two. There Were two or three tick tocks about it.
Enya
I love.
Drew
I lied.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Honestly, I lied. I don't know who those are.
Enya
I'm like, yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, man. I don't know. Can I please. What were you doing?
Drew
I just winked at him.
Enya
He looks so scary.
Drew
It's crazy how I'm the short one now in the episode. Look, you're like taller than me.
Enya
Well, I've always been taller than you. It's.
Drew
Well in person, but not in the episode.
Enya
Yeah, but we've just done a better job of covering the fact that you and kai are both five foot one.
Drew
Well, I'm five three, so let's get that straight. Kai is 48 or. It's okay, sorry. 47 and a half.
Kai
There's videos of the DJ set were the same.
Enya
Oh, you were. You were. Yeah. You were on a stool.
Kai
I wasn't. I wasn't on a stool.
Enya
Yeah, you were. You notice how in all those videos you can't see your lower half?
Drew
Yeah. What's going on?
Enya
You're on stills.
Kai
You can't see Drew's either.
Enya
You're on stills.
Drew
Yeah, because you have to be on a stool to be up 253.
Kai
I am six three. Okay? And that's not a joke.
Enya
Now you're just. Now you're right.
Drew
Now you're lying. Okay.
Enya
What's okay?
Drew
I don't know. Kai just said it.
Enya
Hey.
Kai
Serious question. Do you want to drop any more and up the audio before we continue?
Enya
Oh, my God. Do you want this question?
Drew
Do you want a job after this?
Enya
Yes.
Kai
I'm so sorry.
Enya
Okay, here's my. My hot take of the week.
Drew
Oh, fuck off.
Enya
I don't care how. Oh, wait. It's your jewel paw. It's your jewel that keeps falling. Dude, I thought it was.
Kai
Whose legs right now? Jesus Christ.
Enya
They're so red too. You're like gripping them together.
Drew
I have to.
Enya
This is how. How I look when my sitting room. This is how I'm gonna look with that damn toothbrush.
Drew
This is me climacting. My toothbrush broke. And then he was like, do not. Do not ask questions if that thing disappears because I will be fingering myself.
Enya
Like, I was like, that thing is going to make me.
Drew
Like it broke. And that.
Enya
It's literally gonna make me spin. Like it literally.
Drew
I'm not gonna lie. When we were in the bathroom, you saw I put it on my wiener to see what it would feel like. And it's crazy.
Kai
What did that feel like?
Drew
It. Let's just say my whole body went numb and I had a transcendental experience. Really? Yeah. I had, like, an outer body, like, actual projection moment.
Enya
Let's just say it feels my. Like my is on anesthesia.
Drew
Oh.
Enya
Oh.
Kai
I. I am actually straight. And I remember in, like, eighth grade, I. Whoa.
Enya
I know. Like, what. Don't. Don't debunk his straightness, okay?
Kai
You're projecting because that had nothing to.
Enya
Do with you space to claim that is my job.
Drew
Thanks, babe.
Kai
Oh, I was playing, I think, like, Call of Duty, Modern Warfare. Like, the first one.
Enya
Okay.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
And I was, like, texting or something, and it was like.
Drew
Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
Kai
It was on my cocky.
Enya
Oh.
Kai
And then I remember somebody, like, added me as a friend, and it was like, my homie. And it like.
Enya
So he made you come and it.
Kai
Like, felt hella good. And I was like, that's crazy.
Enya
When I'm in that one episode of.
Drew
Black Mirror, everybody's had that experience. And I had that with my Wii controller. Yeah. If you're a guy, you put your wheel or you put the controller on your private parts and let people kill you.
Kai
Yeah. You just get bodied.
Drew
Yeah. What the was I saying?
Enya
I don't know.
Drew
Yeah, the toothbrush.
Enya
I need that toothbrush.
Drew
What were we saying about how I'm.
Kai
64 and you're 511 or something?
Enya
We're talking about you being on stools.
Drew
Yeah, we're talking about you being 4:3.
Kai
It was 48 before. But I'm not. There's no.
Enya
Anyways, here is the take. My take. I don't care how bad a woman's art is. A man is not allowed to say it's bad.
Drew
Okay.
Enya
Cuz at not. I'm like, you're pushing it now.
Drew
Now you're just like, this is misogynist.
Enya
Yeah, you're being misogynistic. Like, she could literally be, like, scribbling doo kaka on the walls, and I'm like, it's ugly, and I don't like that. But the second a man comes up next to me and he's like, I don't like that.
Drew
I'm like, where is this coming from? Really? Where is this actually, like.
Enya
Like, let's go deep in that psyche.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Where is that coming?
Drew
Let's find you a therapist.
Enya
Yeah. You need help. I don't. I wish I remember what I saw. I think I saw someone critiquing a woman's art. And it's like, a woman's art who? I don't even fudgeing. Like, I'm like, now you're making me defend this girl. Because you shouldn't be doing that. Actually, maybe we need more men critiquing women's art so that more women can then go defend better.
Drew
Me and Kai were just crying about this.
Kai
We were Holy.
Drew
We were just like. We were like, dude, men. Like, just men being mean to women.
Enya
Wait, okay, now the message is all up. You're straight, but you cry.
Kai
You can do both.
Enya
Yeah, well, you're. Are you. Ew. Are you okay? Hey, babe, Babe, are you good?
Kai
Oh, my God, your jaw looks so good, Drew. Your jawline goes crazy right now. The videos from the. From the DJ said I. I was like, damn, my side profile is gnarly.
Drew
And you were like, damn, compared to Drew something.
Kai
No, I was literally looking at your jaw and then mine. Lack of. And I was just like, damn, I.
Drew
Wish I had that comparison. Is the thief of joy or is a thief of joy?
Kai
Oh, my God.
Drew
So don't compare yourself to me. Listen to, like, don't compete with this, because you will never.
Kai
Make me feel better for a second.
Enya
I mean, it should make you feel better.
Drew
Yeah, just.
Kai
How is that supposed to make me feel better?
Enya
Stupid to compare yourself to someone so perfect.
Drew
I'm an unobtainable. I am the unobtainable beauty standard for men.
Enya
Like, and it's difficult.
Drew
Like, look, it's actually even hard for me to keep up. And it's actually up that you brought that up, that you would even come from me.
Kai
How is it I just am complimenting you?
Enya
Hey, don't cry. Don't. No, real men don't cry. Please stop. Like, actually, no. It's, like, grossing me out. Oh, my God. I'm never him again.
Kai
Wait a second.
Enya
You guys all the time, like clockwork.
Kai
Damn it.
Enya
Call us clockwork because we're. I've never seen the movie.
Kai
I don't know what the it means without me.
Drew
No, Kai, I'm not gonna massage your feet. Kai, I'm not gonna massage your feet right now. Like, Kai, I'm not gonna, like, take your shoes off and play with your feet.
Enya
Kai, we're not gonna take those. Ew.
Drew
No, Put it on. Put it back on. Put that away. Put it away.
Enya
Kai's actually. Kai's. The thing I like about. The thing I like about Kai is, like, his whole wardrobe is archived down to his socks. He's had him since, what, like, senior year?
Drew
Is that he. He. The thing I like about Kai is that he recycles and he uses his cum socks as the socks he wears every single day.
Enya
Okay, but.
Drew
You actually, you actually blurring it out.
Kai
It's like a yellow square.
Enya
And the good thing is he's just like. He's the true form of, like, human evolution because his body could tell that it was having a hard time clawing through the, like, stiff socks, so his toenails grow at a rapid rate to claw through.
Drew
Kai has very manicured feet. I would know because I want to play with them.
Kai
So thank you.
Drew
You're welcome.
Enya
One time I. I think it was on the Reddit or something, but there was a picture of me in sandals and my toes were out. And someone was like, this bitch has never been caught with her toes looking fucked up. And like, I was like, why are you keeping track of my toes?
Drew
Why are you keeping tabs?
Enya
There will never be a photo of my.
Drew
There was emergency intercom Reddit drama. We need to tap in. I didn't.
Enya
Did you get down to the bottom of it?
Drew
No, but I, I want to just, like, speak on it for a second. Yeah, I, you know, you've heard me a thousand times. I have begged for a come tribute. Like, it is actually offensive that I haven't gotten one. And then.
Enya
Have you ever had one in general?
Drew
No. I know, it's crazy.
Enya
I've had one before and I don't.
Drew
Even have a blue check marker on ig, but that's another.
Enya
No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now it's stacking up. It's too much. No country. No IG check.
Drew
I know. Am I even a person? Yeah, it's.
Enya
You're useless. You should have existed. You should actually die.
Drew
I know.
Enya
And I know so many ways you could kill yourself today before, like, oh, I'm the bad guy now.
Kai
Oh, guys, I've actually struggled with mental health stuff.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Enya
Like, where is the fun? Where's the laughter? Where's the joy? Literally, you, when you were struggling.
Drew
Other people's mental illnesses are a thief of joy as well. Let's just say that. We'll just say that real quick. I think I heard Nat laugh.
Enya
I think that was me laughing loud as, but I can't tell.
Drew
I heard like a. Oh, she was.
Enya
She's taking a big dumpy.
Drew
But I. Fuck. What was I fucking saying?
Enya
You were talking about the come tribute.
Drew
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Enya
You want so bad you don't even remember.
Drew
On the Reddit, someone posted a very inconspicuous thing and was like, hypothetically, if I made a come tribute for Drew Would I be able to post it here? And everybody was like, no, do not do that. That is insane. Please, please do not want to see it. It's like, fair. Like, let them vote. And they said, no, the person posted it anyways. It wasn't even a real contribute, but people were still pissed.
Enya
Yeah. So as what I got from it was I went on the Reddit the other day and people were like, people. Someone was like, please know more about the drama. And I was like, oh, what? What? What happened? Because of course I get terrified because, like, you know, like my, like, public figure, like, as a public figure, like, I'm just like, I care about how I'm perceived because I'm a good person. And like, what? What are you doing, bitch?
Drew
What?
Enya
But I saw that and I was like, what the fuck is this about? And then all the comments were like, it wasn't even real. It was suds. Like, it was like soapy suds. And then like, they were all arguing. They were like, that's what they want you to think. So what I'm assuming is somebody posted the come tribute and then immediately everybody was like, you're going to hell, you should die. Like, this is up.
Drew
I didn't even get to see it.
Enya
I didn't see it either, because.
Kai
Take another photo.
Drew
Wait, it was you?
Kai
Did you guys not realize what's the.
Enya
Point of a come tribute being posted on? You could just give it to him.
Kai
I wanted it to be.
Drew
He wanted it to be a special moment.
Enya
I need you to come into a cheesecloth, and then I'm gonna rinse it.
Drew
Kai cares for me also, Drew. He wants to be happy.
Kai
Gave me a blue check. It's coming in like a week and I'm gonna get you one too.
Enya
Oh, all right. Oh, he's crawling around.
Kai
I don't know if they can see that.
Enya
They can't see you.
Kai
He's getting back in frame, though, so they can see it. This is what.
Enya
This is what pushed you over the edge. Don't hit your head again. Come on, Loga.
Kai
Come on, let's get you back on the. On the chair. But, yeah, they're gonna give you one too. They just want to make sure mine goes through and then.
Enya
But they're giving Kai one, and then they're like, having it permanently in, like, the work where you do what your work is. It's a ass ball.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
So I'm gonna. I mean, you win some, you lose some, so.
Kai
Yeah, that's a good.
Enya
Are you pretending? Hey, he's tapped out. He's like, he thinks he's. He thinks he's recording a podcast episode somewhere else.
Kai
He entered into, like, a parallel universe.
Enya
And I think it's a podcast, and it's a universe where it's just him because, like, he's giving no space for.
Kai
Oh, oh, let's see how long it goes.
Enya
Oh, oh, he's back.
Drew
I just was somewhere.
Enya
Yeah, I could tell today, Josiah said bye, like, while we filmed, and he did something that I found so funny, and I hugged him, and I genuinely was like. And I said to him, I was like, the day you die, it's gonna be so hard for me. And the thing is, like, that came from, like, such a real place, like, me saying that to him. And, like, in my head. It's an endearing thing to say, but that's, like, the craziest thing.
Drew
So scary. It comes from a very real place.
Enya
It is gonna be a hard. It's gonna be a hard loss to get through.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
And I don't know if I'll manage.
Drew
No, for sure.
Enya
Drew will take me, like, two weeks.
Drew
I was gonna say, like, maybe 30 minutes for you. I mean, it wouldn't even be, like, a real sadness. It would just be, like, would I.
Enya
Get, Like, Would I get a post and then, like, it's like, swiping up and going right back to Grindr.
Drew
Yeah. But it would be IG story or.
Kai
Maybe even my application that he swipes.
Drew
Away my Snapchat that I haven't used since 2014.
Enya
I'll post you on my Snapchat. Maybe I need to. Okay, here's the thing. This is, like, my one real. Yeah, I. I need. I need to be in highlights. So, like, when I die, everyone's gonna throw me on a highlight reel on their page. So then, like, even people who are trying to thirst follow you, the first thing they know is, like, okay, so they've gone through loss because this. Who's. Or if anything, they're gonna be like. Or is this, like, his ex? Like, he hasn't gotten rid of her on here.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
And then all the way at the end of the reel, because they're gonna watch through the whole highlight thing because they've got to see what. What my vibe is. And that then they're gonna be like, oh, thank God she's dead. And then they'll find themselves being like, oh, my God, I can't believe I just. Yeah, that's fucked up. Why did I think.
Drew
I actually don't think I would ever realistically be able to use the Internet ever again. If you died good. Like, realistically, I don't think I would.
Enya
You gotta. You gotta make. You gotta open up that GoFundMe for my family.
Drew
The. Oh, GoFundMe is being open 100. But I would never be able to use in the same capacity.
Enya
I don't think I would either, because also I would see you all the time.
Drew
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would.
Enya
If I see one more thirst trap edit of Kai. Oh, yeah, I'll kill myself.
Drew
That.
Enya
And that's a threat. And that is a threat. And you know what? Imagine all of the accounts, swipe all of those down and they delete that. They're like, oh, sorry, I'm kidding. You can keep them up, but stop making them.
Kai
Those are cool. I say make probably more of those.
Enya
Maybe there should be more footage of you so you should start filming yourself doing things.
Kai
Okay.
Drew
What? What the hell are you saying? No piggybacking off of that. Yeah, we DJ'd and it was probably the most lit night of my life.
Enya
Y' all turned it up so happy.
Drew
Y' all turned it up in a way that I wasn't prepared for. Dude. I had the most rancid vibe all day before because I was so. I wasn't nervous and I wasn't anxious, but, like, something in me was like, something's gonna go wrong. Something bad is gonna.
Enya
Sounds like someone being anxious.
Drew
It. No, but it wasn't. It wasn't. I've had, like, really brutalizing, like, anxiety, but this was like, totally different. I don't know what the feeling was. And when I find a word, I'll tell you guys. But, like, it was gnarly. And I think it was just like the fact that I was just like, ruminating in my vibe all day alone that, like, really set me over the edge because I was just like, sitting in the house all day waiting because I was like, I don't want to go out before and like, do anything. I just want to chill.
Kai
I felt the same way. It didn't really feel like nerves, it. But it was like an unpleasant.
Drew
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Because I was like, there's not much that we could up. Like, yeah, it's not that hard. But the second week, even, like when we were walking on the stage, I was like. I was totally over it, but like, there I was a little anxious, but it was so much fun. Like, it. There were so many heads there. I actually couldn't believe that many people came out. Like, it was a literal blast. And we're doing again. We're Doing it again simply. We have to easily.
Kai
This is a test run. Yeah, but it was so much fun.
Drew
We're gonna do Coachella in 2023.
Kai
That's what we're manifesting.
Enya
I'm gonna do my own DJ set. But only girls are allowed.
Drew
We could probably, if you wanted to. One of the people that threw it was like, we want to throw another show for you guys.
Enya
I'm not kidding. I want to do, like, a. Like a girls only event.
Drew
You could do a solo set for sure.
Enya
Yeah, but a girl's only event. Sorry.
Kai
Okay. Can I pull up?
Drew
Why do you want the ratio sounds?
Kai
The ratio sounds good.
Drew
Yeah, the ratio sounds on point.
Enya
I thought y' all were.
Kai
I love going to parties with good ratios.
Drew
Yeah, the ratio at the bar last night was crazy.
Enya
Dudes, bro, you need more. Like.
Kai
Yeah, more would be good.
Enya
Yeah, just more. I need. Hey, I need this. I need more in this room. Like, there's too much.
Drew
I hate that word. So much use in that context.
Enya
Yes, there needs to be more. Here we get some more. Where all the. Are all the bitches at home?
Drew
Wait, this is me. This is me. Where are the at.
Kai
Okay.
Drew
I mean, that's me asking.
Enya
Yeah, what do you want us to read that as?
Kai
Yeah, say it. Can you. What's. How's. What's your straightest impression of that phrase?
Drew
Hold on. What was I saying to you this morning? Why do guys get so bloody pressed when another guy hits on the them? Like, I take that as a compliment.
Kai
Can you do the.
Enya
Did you say bloody pressed?
Kai
Can you do the buy one?
Drew
Oh, you read that wrong. Oh, yeah, you read that wrong. I'm straight.
Enya
There's a lot of crazy things in this world nowadays.
Drew
A lot of crazy things being said in this world these days.
Enya
And, like, what does that mean? Like, what is all the crazy things? Is the crazy thing being, like, told the inside.
Drew
The inside of his brain?
Kai
Dude, I got tagged in that so many times.
Drew
Well, dude, the craziest thing is, like, four different people sending that to you and being like, yo, this is you.
Kai
This is you.
Drew
I'm like, oh, that is the craziest diss of all time. They were saying it as, like, compliments. And I was like, y' all, there's.
Enya
A lot of crazy things being said in this world right now, but do not believe the room.
Drew
You know what? I'm obsessed with the.
Enya
I need my sexuality to be a rumor.
Drew
Wait.
Enya
What'S up with the.
Drew
So what?
Enya
No, I was gonna be like, what's up with that vibe like, is she straight?
Drew
Or like, what's that vibe? Okay, so walking around New York, I realized that I am, like, recognizable from the back of my head. Like, I have such a distinct disgusting rat's nest of a head or hair on my head that, like, people will notice me from the back, which is so funny. Rat's nest.
Enya
Like, you give like, disgusting, stinky rats nest head.
Drew
But yeah, I just. Like, I thought that was so funny because someone was like, I noticed you from the back of your head. And I was like, there's no way. And then at the event, someone else also noticed me from the back of my head. And I had Elsie take a picture and I was like, oh, yeah, that looks like me because it's so gross.
Enya
Damn. Damn, damn.
Drew
But yeah, I just.
Enya
Your hair does what mine does, where it's like the pieces that are loose and not being, like, held down by grease and oils. Like, all of these curl and then back here it's just matted up.
Kai
Like, I think you have pretty hair, honestly.
Enya
You do have pretty hair.
Kai
You do. I don't understand the Drew has gross hair thing. I don't see. I go with it to support you.
Enya
Well, I say that because I live with him and I see his regime.
Drew
My regime.
Enya
Your regimen.
Drew
Regimen.
Enya
They gotta change the. The spelling of that word. Like, what is I?
Kai
Also, I like his hair. Cuz I.
Drew
That's. You're like, what's the deal with airplane food? They gotta respell.
Enya
No. Like, okay. Actually, I'm not kidding. Like, why is airplane food and airport food. Those are the worst meals ever.
Drew
But not for me. Not for me.
Enya
Pam.
Kai
Damn.
Drew
I take it where I can get it.
Enya
Oh, we know that.
Drew
Oh, I remember. I have hella out here. I got hoes in New York.
Enya
The thing is, why even bring that up? Because you can't really talk about it.
Drew
I can't. But I just want to let people know that I got hoes out here.
Enya
Me too. Like, everyone wants to me.
Drew
Like, that's the thing though.
Enya
Nobody hits on me.
Drew
No one hits on me either. Because I think we're a couple. When we go out, everyone thinks we're dating. Yeah.
Enya
Yeah. Dude, when we were in the airport and we, like, realized that that was the funniest ever.
Drew
Oh, yeah. Did we talk about that?
Enya
I don't think so. We were in the airport and we were like, like holding each other. I mean, like, babe, I'm scared, like, or I don't know what we were doing.
Drew
We were just being annoying. We were like.
Enya
We Were being, like, the couples in the lineup.
Drew
We were just being, like how we normally act. Like, we were just, like, leaning on each other and, like, just being, like, physical. Like, not, like, in a weird, like, annoying way. We were just, like, hugging. God fucking. But in just, like, a normal way. And then, like, we, like, saw ourselves from, like, a third person's perspective.
Enya
Oh, we really look like a couple.
Drew
We're the annoying couple in the airport that, like, is making out or the.
Enya
Annoying couple in the amusement park lines that's, like, leaning on each other. I'm scared I'm gonna get. I have butterflies.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
What's that?
Drew
Vetmont. I bought some Vetmont.
Enya
I think that looks like a tag that fell off of something that you picked up off the floor.
Drew
Yeah, I bought this. It was 600. Yeah.
Enya
Does that month exist anymore?
Drew
Yeah. Yeah. But didn't. Did Dimna start Vetmont?
Enya
I don't think he started. I think he was a creative director or he was like. Like, one of the head designers there. I don't know. You know, don't come to me for information.
Drew
But, yeah, there we just saw each other and we were like, wait, this is weird.
Enya
Yeah. Like, if I do that, like, in public, like, it's. It doesn't read the way it reads to y' all.
Drew
Like, it just looks like a couple.
Enya
Like, fake, jerky, really gross and nasty in public. But that's okay. That's okay. Because there has to be that for the world to go around.
Drew
That's my thing. That's my whole thing, is the reason why I act a fool in public is because people get to go home to their monotonous lives and talk to their partner or their children or their parents or their friends and say, I saw the craziest people in my life today, and it gives them a little conversation to spark some joy in their life, to make fun of me. And I'm okay with that.
Enya
That's like in the video of me on the plane when we were landing.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
So many people were commenting, like, I just don't find that funny, like, and just, like, being like. Like, like annoying, like, to be annoying and being like. That's so. No, if I saw that, I would.
Drew
Be so annoyed, personally, I would not have let that slide if I was next to you.
Enya
And it's like, personally, you should shut the up, because there's a chance you've been around that kind of behavior in a really serious way, and you don't do anything about it, and you just, like, look at your iPhone and, like, continue to scroll TikTok. And you don't care? Like, never. I don't feel like, ever, ever have we been in public being, like, stupid and someone's been actually upset by it. Like.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
I can't think of a single time someone's actually been annoyed because I feel like we read the room pretty well. Also. Me. Like, that was, like, me the equivalent of me clapping if they are plane landed. Like, that's, like, the similar amount of, like, obnoxious standing up and acting like I'm DJing on a plane. Like, I was listening to. Someone asked me that.
Drew
Oh, yeah? What song were you listening to?
Enya
I was listening to Fantasy by Mariah Carey.
Drew
Yeah. Oh, this? Just surrender to the universe. It's easier that way.
Enya
What made you think that? Did you make that up?
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
What the. I feel. No, I. I think I've heard that somewhere.
Drew
Yeah. From me.
Enya
Okay.
Kai
I think that's, like, what the Buddha said.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Just surrender to the universe. It's easier that way.
Enya
I think it's, like, a big religious, like, ideology that. Oh. Oh, my God. Damn. I thought you were, like, a real.
Drew
Surrender.
Kai
That was just on the ground of Happy 99.
Drew
This was. Yep.
Kai
Like, 40, 49 minutes.
Enya
Yeah. And this shop is lucky.
Drew
41, 42, 43, 44, 45.
Enya
I thought you were gonna really read something from yourself.
Drew
48. Oh, Bama rush. Oh, my God. Like, the sorority. Have y' all been saying that? Is that all?
Enya
What's the sorority?
Drew
A sorority is, like, the girls getting together.
Enya
Sororities scare me. And I don't. With those videos of those girls dancing. It freaks me out.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
Are you talking about, like, the doors opening and them all like.
Enya
Oh, no, that's. That's the energy we need to take back to sorority is because now they're, like, people are, like, into it. I feel it's.
Drew
It's a new. It's always been a thing, But I think TikTok is just now getting a hold of the culture, and it's just, like, now spreading and get. Being put into everybody's minds. But, like. Like, Southern sorority culture is crazy. It's like. I mean, frat culture, too, but, like, sorority culture is on a different level. And, like, it's just very fascinating to see, like, the ins and outs of it and then also see, like, how popular it has become on the Internet. Because, like, I feel like even three years ago, like, it wasn't a hot take to be, like, sororities are terrifying. Like, that was, like, funny to say. And now I feel like it's almost like reverted back to being like. Sororities are like, cool.
Enya
Yeah. No, that's the energy I'm feeling from it. I feel like hella people are like, I love this. Like, this is so awesome. But I'm like, this is probably one of the scariest and most lifeless videos I've seen in my life.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Like all of them doing that one dance.
Drew
And I don't know which one you're referencing.
Enya
It's like, it's that one song. It's like, it's like I can't think of the name of the song.
Kai
I know which one you're.
Enya
It's like talking about. Is that the song that's being used or did I just make that up?
Kai
I think so.
Enya
I think so.
Drew
You guys are lying.
Enya
All of the girls are doing the dance where they get up and they're like doing that. Like.
Kai
Yeah, yeah.
Enya
And like they're. They're so scary. And for some reason I'm using that. Those videos and it being like a bunch of white girls doing the dance. It feels like I'm watching like a new Jordan Peele movie unfolding on Tick Tock.
Kai
Yeah. It feels a bit like midsoma or something.
Enya
Yeah. It's like. It's like scary. I'm like, whoa, it's culty.
Drew
Well, I love women being women and finding sisterhood in each other and being able to be.
Enya
Shouldn't you like with frats though? Cuz you're like a boy, so I.
Drew
Don'T know why you're like, I just love women being.
Kai
We like to bond over specifically and.
Drew
It'S just different for me.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
And yeah, that's why.
Enya
Are you trying to say I'm misogynistic?
Drew
I'm not.
Kai
We didn't say anything.
Drew
The one saying that. But if you feel that way.
Enya
I just feel like I'm being pitted against by like two men in the room.
Kai
And I know Drew feels the same way. I'm a little bit disappointed.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Why are your legs crossed now that you're talking like this?
Drew
We're just.
Enya
And your hands.
Drew
You're like, well, if you really respected women.
Enya
Yeah.
Kai
And we're not telling you. We're not telling you what to do.
Enya
It seems like it though.
Kai
But we're not. We're not.
Drew
You would just respect women.
Enya
It's just that easy. Yeah.
Drew
It doesn't feel like we're getting that from you.
Enya
I were like, wait, wait, are you the women now? Like, am I?
Drew
No, no. My. Me and my alters and Kai.
Kai
What Yeah, I'm like a real person though, right?
Enya
What?
Drew
What?
Kai
You know I'm a real person.
Drew
No, you're one of my alters. You've been working on this podcast. Working. But I've let you take a front seat because I was like, you know what? Like, we'll share the spotlight a little bit. Like. But like, when you go away, you.
Enya
Go, oh, look, look. Now he's like, he's realizing you're not real.
Drew
You've never been.
Enya
Oh, my God, you are. He has to work right now. Oh, he's gonna. Oh, my God, he's gonna kill himself.
Drew
Oh, my God. He's dramatic. He can't even do it.
Enya
You're a pussy. You're not gonna do it. Well, now he's just throating his fingers.
Drew
Yeah. So that's the big surprise of the episode. Kai is an altar.
Enya
The big surprise is we're not in la. And I'm never going back. We're never going back unless we're begged to. Unless you. Unless you want to beg for it. Unless the people of LA need us back.
Drew
Who wants to?
Enya
The boys are back in town. Boys are back in town. I literally was planning last night. I was like, damn, when I get back to la, that's the first thing I'm posting.
Drew
Damn.
Enya
Is that song.
Drew
You better keep. You better stick to it because that's hilarious.
Enya
I was gonna post that. So last night. Cuz I was like, damn, that song is so gay. Yeah, because you throated it. I was going to post it last night and I was like, wait, I have to save this. The boys are backing down. The boys are backing. Dude, our friend group is just soundboards.
Drew
Like, that's all we are. We are soundboards. We are terrifying. We are like.
Enya
We don't kill the vibe. As if we don't walk down the street all being like, oh, my God.
Drew
Yeah. Literally, like the other day, we were walking down the street and I was.
Enya
Like, it was silent.
Drew
Oh, my God. And every single one of us, like one after another, it just triggered a chain reaction. And every single one of us just had to make the sound.
Enya
And we had to do it better than the person before.
Drew
And we just kept going.
Enya
It was like a competition.
Drew
Yeah. And then I realized I was like, holy. We are psychos. Like, we just, like, hear one of us make a loud sound and we have to make the. You know what?
Enya
We're crazy. But we are free.
Drew
We are free. We do have fun. We love ourselves. Oh, my God.
Enya
Oh, my God.
Drew
Okay, Media. Media of Zoe. Okay? My media of the week was mine and Kai's DJ set. Yeah, go check out the videos online. It was fucking lit.
Kai
I could upload it somewhere.
Enya
That's me. If I was British and I was thinking about.
Kai
Or should we gatekeep the.
Drew
We need to gatekeep the mix.
Kai
We should gatekeep it.
Drew
We need to gatekeep it.
Enya
Crazy.
Drew
But anyone else but you by the Moldy Peaches. We threw that song in the set. It was super cute. Super, super duper cute. Well, it's all over the Internet because it was an iconic moment.
Enya
Me, when I think it was an iconic.
Drew
Dude.
Enya
Wait, why did we beef over at the car? Literally, Drew said something to me, and it came off in my head like he was being like, what was.
Drew
What was it, dude?
Enya
It was like you made a comment. You were like, I've never been to that side of the city, like, in the financial district. And I, like, made a comment where I was like, yeah, well, you don't go where you don't belong, and you don't belong in the financial district.
Drew
I think I said, like, okay, Mrs. City Girl or something.
Enya
You know, you're like, oh, okay, you did. No, you did the thing where you. You say something and it's kind of, like, real, but it's like, not.
Drew
I swear on my entire life, there was no emotion behind me, dude.
Enya
I think because you were so monotone, it felt like you were, like, annoyed that I told you you shouldn't go to the financial district.
Drew
Oh, yeah. You were like, you shouldn't go. And then I was like, city. Okay.
Enya
You were like, okay, Mrs. And you're the local.
Drew
Like, whatever. Yeah, like.
Enya
And it came off so real, and I don't even know what I said.
Drew
And then you were like.
Enya
I was like, oh, not you being mad at me actually fucking saying that to you right now.
Drew
And I was like, I was joking. Please, please.
Enya
And then we all argued about where the Empire State Building was. Okay, the Empire State Building is ribbed for your pleasure. No, that's the Chrysler Building. The Chrysler Building is rich.
Drew
Okay, so life is perfecto. Cf. CF is literally a classic. And then the last song, I need to find it. Let's just say where the is it? I don't know it by its title. Well, I can't find it. But we'll just do Raymond Scott Sleepy Sounds for Baby Volume 1. Just go listen to that little album. It's really cute. It's like sleepy time music. And then for show, I haven't really watched anything on the airplane. I Watched. What did I watch?
Enya
I wasn't there.
Drew
Oh, what did I watch? What did I watch? What did I watch? I have it saved in my letter box.
Enya
I'll start mine, though. Summertime the Sundays Automatic by Hikaru Utada I think I already said that. I love you. Always. Forever. Donna Lewis West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys. Cause, duh. Like, literally.
Kai
Oh, you were watching Infowars on the.
Enya
Plane and then this Masayoshi Takanaka song, but I can't read it, so you just guess.
Drew
We actually are the info world. We're the Infowars for, like, the gay girls and the gays. Like, that's literally all we.
Enya
I don't know what that is. Oh, and then movie is the best movie ever. Mermaids. What a cast. Cher, Winona Ryder and Christina Richie.
Drew
I watched Spencer.
Enya
All right, bye.
Drew
Spencer was awesome. And then I watch the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Which brings me to my last point. Why don't we have actors like Nick Cage in society more? It doesn't feel like we have just, like, super cool people doing super cool things anymore. I think the movie star is dead. Fully. The movie star is dead. They're all becoming influencers because they want a piece of my pie. Well, guess what? You're not gonna get any of it. I am my own person. I invented this. All the things you're doing, I've been doing for eight years. Tap in, tap in. Try to. Try to tap in.
Enya
You can't have anything.
Drew
You can't have this.
Enya
Thank you guys so much for watching.
Kai
My media is the sound that my media is.
Enya
Okay, bye. What? What's your.
Kai
My media is the sound that Drew makes when I.
Enya
Okay, Don't. Okay. Yeah, but.
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Podcast Summary: Emergency Intercom – "Addressing The Drama" (Released August 19, 2022)
Emergency Intercom, the comedic brainchild of Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips under the iHeartPodcasts banner, delves into the chaotic and humorous aspects of everyday life. In the episode titled "Addressing The Drama", Enya and Drew navigate through personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and unexpected revelations, all while addressing the underlying “drama” that punctuates their interactions.
Enya and Drew kick off the episode with a light-hearted conversation about their shared love for Sephora products. Enya humorously admits having multiple lipsticks of the same shade:
Enya [00:57]: "Dude, it's embarrassing. I have like three of the same lipsticks in here."
Drew teases her about it, hinting at upcoming collaborations:
Drew [01:11]: "Let's do a Sephora collab coming soon. Or Ulta collab coming soon."
The hosts shift gears to ponder a fundamental question about our calendar system:
Drew [02:04]: "Like, why does time have to be repetitive? Why can't we just have a new one every time?"
Enya expresses her confusion over why the year resets, adding a layer of philosophical humor to their discussion.
Enya and Drew recount a memorable night out in New York, filled with mishaps and laughter. Enya explains how Drew hypothetically declined an offer to open for Harry Styles at Madison Square Garden due to nerves:
Drew [03:34]: "I decided I don't feel like it's the right fit for me. But I said no because I was nervous. I was scared."
Enya doesn't hold back her bluntness:
Enya [03:38]: "No, you're an idiot."
This candid exchange sets the tone for the episode, emphasizing their candid and comedic rapport.
The core of the episode revolves around their adventure involving a photo booth and the subsequent attempts to leave the bar. Enya narrates the confusion when Drew abandons her:
Enya [07:08]: "Drew abandoned me at a bar."
Drew elaborates on the Uber debacle:
Drew [12:03]: "I got into this Uber, and he yelled at me immediately. I canceled and gave him his $5 and called another Uber."
Their struggle with the City Bikes and technological glitches adds layers of humor and relatability:
Enya [14:16]: "We stood there for, I'm not kidding, like, 20 minutes trying to figure."
Enya opens up about her empathic nature, juxtaposed with Drew’s self-deprecating humor:
Enya [05:40]: "Honestly, I'm a bit of an egotistical kind of empath."
Drew suggests self-dialogue as a coping mechanism:
Drew [06:00]: "You can have inner dialogue with yourself now."
This segment provides a deeper insight into their personalities beyond the comedic façade.
A surprising twist occurs when it's revealed that Kai is an alter of Drew, adding a new dynamic to the podcast:
Enya [51:52]: "Kai is an alter."
The hosts humorously navigate this revelation, blending reality with their signature comedic style.
Discussing their recent DJ performances, Drew and Enya express excitement about their success and future ambitions:
Drew [38:45]: "We're gonna do Coachella in 2023."
Enya contemplates her own DJ set, emphasizing inclusivity:
Enya [38:58]: "I'm gonna do my own DJ set. But only girls are allowed."
Their enthusiasm underscores their passion for music and entertainment.
The duo tackles recent online drama involving a Reddit post about a 'come tribute':
Enya [32:12]: "People were like, please do not do that. That is insane."
Drew shares his frustrations over not receiving a tribute:
Drew [30:35]: "I have begged for a come tribute."
This segment highlights the challenges of maintaining an online presence amidst public scrutiny.
Enya and Drew engage in playful ribbing about each other’s appearances and habits. From teased comments about hair:
Drew [41:10]: "I have such a distinct disgusting rat's nest of a head or hair on my head."
To discussions about sorority culture and internet trends, their light-hearted teasing keeps the conversation lively and entertaining.
As the episode wraps up, Enya and Drew reflect on their unique bond and the fun they have together:
Drew [53:25]: "We are soundboards. We are terrifying. We are like."
Their closing remarks emphasize the joy and chaos they bring to each other's lives, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Enya [00:57]: "Dude, it's embarrassing. I have like three of the same lipsticks in here."
Drew [03:34]: "I decided I don't feel like it's the right fit for me. But I said no because I was nervous. I was scared."
Enya [07:08]: "Drew abandoned me at a bar."
Drew [12:03]: "I got into this Uber, and he yelled at me immediately. I canceled and gave him his $5 and called another Uber."
Enya [05:40]: "Honestly, I'm a bit of an egotistical kind of empath."
Enya [51:52]: "Kai is an alter."
Drew [30:35]: "I have begged for a come tribute."
Drew [38:45]: "We're gonna do Coachella in 2023."
Conclusion:
In "Addressing The Drama", Emergency Intercom successfully blends humor with authentic storytelling, offering listeners a glimpse into the chaotic yet endearing lives of Enya and Drew. Through shared experiences, witty exchanges, and unexpected twists, the episode captures the essence of what makes the podcast a delight for its audience. Whether recounting a night mishap in New York or delving into personal reflections, Enya and Drew ensure that every moment is both relatable and entertaining.