Addressing the wig stealing

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Addressing the Wig Stealing

Release Date: September 20, 2024
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips

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Introduction

In the "Emergency Intercom" episode titled "Addressing the Wig Stealing," hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips dive into a fictional yet humorous crisis involving Drew's alleged wig theft. Balancing their trademark comedy with sharp banter, the duo navigates themes of fame, social media paranoia, and personal insecurities, all while maintaining the chaotic energy that fans adore.

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The Wig Stealing Scandal

The episode kicks off with Enya contemplating hosting the episode solo due to Drew's recent absence. However, Drew makes a grand entrance sporting a Tinkerbell wig, immediately sparking curiosity.

Enya [03:19]: "What the fuck is on your head?"
Drew [03:21]: "It's a Tinkerbell wig."

The revelation sets the stage for the central narrative: Drew admits to stealing wigs from Disney on Ice performers, turning himself into an unwitting viral sensation.

Drew [04:43]: "I didn't pay for this shit. I fucking stole it."

The Fallout: Viral Clip and Accusations

Drew's confession leads to a mock-serious discussion about the repercussions of his actions. Enya and Drew humorously explore how a surveillance video of the theft has thrust Drew into the spotlight, with social media users quick to point fingers.

Drew [07:36]: "My biggest fear coming true... getting tried and going to jail for a crime I didn't commit."

Enya elaborates on the absurdity of the situation, highlighting the over-the-top reactions from fans and online communities.

Enya [08:26]: "Are we going to keep doing this? It's so scary."

Social Media and Public Perception

The conversation shifts to the dynamics of social media, emphasizing how easily misinformation can spread and the challenges of maintaining one's reputation online. Drew laments the ease with which people connect his real identity to the fictional crime.

Drew [08:31]: "They deep dive on my social."

Enya and Drew dissect the nature of online communities, referencing platforms like Daily Mail and ABC News, and how they perpetuate myths and rumors.

Enya [09:36]: "They probably were like, yeah, this is the guy. I wish you got contacted."

Personal Reflections: Fears and Dreams

Beyond the comedic plot, the hosts delve into personal territories, discussing fears of wrongful accusation and the psychological impact of sudden fame. Enya shares a vivid dream about her sister cutting her hair, symbolizing loss and identity.

Enya [05:07]: "I had a dream last night that my sister cut my hair off... and I was like, oh my gosh."

Drew mirrors these sentiments by expressing his anxiety over being unfairly targeted, blending humor with genuine vulnerability.

Drew [07:08]: "I'm on the fucking run. I am a fugitive of the fucking law."

Pop Culture References and General Banter

The episode is peppered with references to contemporary pop culture. The hosts discuss the VMAs, Harry Styles' transition from One Direction, and the influence of shows like "Rick and Morty" on modern trends. These segments showcase their ability to intertwine personal anecdotes with broader cultural commentary.

Drew [17:10]: "Harry Styles was a part of this band called One Direction before he was Harry Styles."

Enya reminisces about her experiences, blending nostalgia with current observations.

Enya [19:15]: "It's like this great movie. This is no way around remarkable. Perfect."

Malls, Gaming, and Other Topics

Shifting gears, Enya and Drew explore nostalgic topics such as mall visits and gaming. Enya shares her longing for the simplicity of mall outings, while Drew reflects on online gaming communities and their social dynamics.

Anya [53:27]: "We live in the digital era. Why is your TikTok account, MTV, posting about everything happening at the award?"

Drew [40:35]: "But yeah, I watched five hours of Fortnite this weekend."

Final Thoughts and Closure

As the episode nears its end, the hosts engage in a meditative yet chaotic exchange about the future of their friendship and the impending "crash" of Drew's manic energy. Their playful dissonance underscores the episode's blend of humor and heartfelt dialogue.

Anya [66:05]: "I don't want to be friends with you."
Drew [66:09]: "I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

The episode concludes with a satirical projection of their evolving relationship, leaving listeners both amused and reflective.

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Notable Quotes

• Drew [04:43]: "I didn't pay for this shit. I fucking stole it."
• Enya [05:07]: "I had a dream last night that my sister cut my hair off... and I was like, oh my gosh."
• Drew [07:36]: "My biggest fear coming true... getting tried and going to jail for a crime I didn't commit."
• Enya [09:36]: "They probably were like, yeah, this is the guy. I wish you got contacted."
• Drew [17:10]: "Harry Styles was a part of this band called One Direction before he was Harry Styles."
• Anya [53:27]: "We live in the digital era. Why is your TikTok account, MTV, posting about everything happening at the award?"

---

Conclusion

"Addressing the Wig Stealing" serves as a quintessential episode of "Emergency Intercom," blending absurd humor with poignant reflections. Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips adeptly navigate the complexities of fame, friendship, and personal identity, all while delivering laughs and engaging discussions. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode offers a comprehensive glimpse into the dynamic interplay that defines "Emergency Intercom."

Transcript

[Anya]

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[Drew]

For full prescribing information, including boxed warning, visit botoxcosmetic.com or call 877-351-0300.

[Anya]

Remember to ask for Botox Cosmetic by name. To see for yourself and learn more, visit botoxcosmetic.com that's botoxcosmetic.com rated T to M. Hey, wanna hear a PC Game Pass ad? I'll take your silence as a yes. Want new games on day one, like Call of Black Ops 6 or S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

[Drew]

2?

[Anya]

I thought so. How about unlocking all the League of Legends champions when you link your Riot Games account? All for one low monthly price.

[Drew]

Well, guess what?

[Anya]

We got you. Learn [e-mail] PCGame Pass or click the banner STALKER2. Available November 20, 2024. Game catalog varies by region and over time. And that's the of the script.

[Drew]

You can get the most important meal of the day any time of day. I'm Talking about the $5 big deal breakfast Meal from Jack in the Box. Available all day and all night. A breakfast Jack with a freshly cracked egg, a hash brown, and French toast sticks for five bucks sounds good. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner at Jack. Every bite's a big deal. Order Jack's five dollar Big Deal Breakfast Meal now.

[Anya]

Hey, guys, honestly, we have, like, stuff to do for the rest of the week, and Drew hasn't been home for a few days, and I think I'm just gonna do this episode alone. It's actually kind of easy because I don't have, like, a nasty, disgusting, like, putrid stench of a person just kind of in my space, invading my, like, mindset and my thoughts. And I feel like we could just get on a deeper level. We could talk about periods and tampons and, like, ovaries and stuff and. Drew? Drew. Drew, are you okay?

[Drew]

My dead ass.

[Anya]

So bad, dude. When I heard it, I was like, there's no way he fake fell. It sounded so real.

[Drew]

It hurts so fucking bad, dude. Look.

[Anya]

No. Well, I'm thinking of just starting this episode alone because, like, Drew's just been missing for a few days. And honestly, I'm about my business. I'm about my work. I don't just disappear and, like, go on vacation. He's probably on Grinder island or something. I heard that's a thing now, so. Hi, guys. I'll just be here doing the episode alone. Honestly, Drew. Yo.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm Here. I made it.

[Anya]

What the fuck is on your head?

[Drew]

It's a wig.

[Anya]

I can see it.

[Drew]

It's a Tinkerbell wig.

[Anya]

Where'd you get. Wait. Why is this. What is this? We were in it, though. We were in it. We were like, are we doing it again? We can't keep doing this. Well, I'm waiting on Drew to start. Actually, I was gonna wait on Drew, but I'm not gonna wait on him. And I have something really important to say. I had a dream last night that I. My sister cut my hair off, and I had a ass bob and bangs. And it literally was like, Dora. And you know how I wear those, like, tiny shorts and shirts right now for the summer? I was literally wearing, like, Dora's colors. Like, I had a pink shirt. Drew. Drew.

[Drew]

I made it. I made it.

[Anya]

What the are you wearing?

[Drew]

I made it. It's a jumpsuit.

[Anya]

Did you, like. Is that your new. Like, is this a prison?

[Drew]

Yeah. Can we get this going? Because I, like, I have to do after this. Like, I have. I have to leave. I have to go. So can we, like, hurry the up? Like, what? Are you going to ask me so many questions. Like, damn, Like, Jesus Christ, it's a Tinkerbell wig. Because I know you're about to ask next. It's a Tinkerbell wig.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Drew]

I know I look good, and I know I look good.

[Anya]

You don't.

[Drew]

I don't know. Good is the word. That's a lot. That is bold.

[Anya]

How much did you pay for that?

[Drew]

I didn't pay for this shit. I fucking stole it.

[Anya]

Oh, my God. Did you get caught stealing? Is that why. You know, is that why you're dressed like this?

[Drew]

Actually, I don't give a fuck anymore since it's the most viral fucking clip of all time, apparently. Fuck ABC News, dfw. Count your fucking days, because now, because of you, I'm on the fucking run. I am a fugitive of the fucking law. Roll the clip.

[Anya]

Police in Oklahoma City are looking for this man. They say that he stole thousands of dollars of wigs from Disney on Ice performers. Police released this surveillance video from Saturday. They say the theft happened at the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. Officials are considering a cash reward in this case. Are we going to keep. Every time we try to redo that? It's so scary.

[Drew]

Okay, and scene, and scene. Or should we keep going? Should we just keep ripping?

[Anya]

Yeah, let's just do a whole episode where it's just like, I'm in character, and we'll switch seats and, like, tap in, tap out.

[Drew]

They fucked up giving me these things, though, because it's, like, the perfect fidget. I was thinking, like, of making a fidget like this.

[Anya]

I don't know if that'll, like.

[Drew]

Also, I'm not fucking around. My arm hurts so badly.

[Anya]

I mean, it is fully swollen.

[Drew]

I genuinely think I have a bone contusion. Like, genuinely, it is swollen. Every time I, like, pinch with these fingers, it hurts so bad.

[Anya]

You just put the period cramp simulator on there. It'll heal it.

[Drew]

Oh. Literally. Oh, where is that? I'm just wondering, like, where that is. Why do you want that shit? Okay, so that clip of the guy robbing the fucking Disney on Ice. Whatever the fuck. Disney on Ice. Let's talk about that. I look problematic because, like, why would Disney characters be doing meth in front of a bunch of kids? Like, actually, I've been thinking about that. Like, that.

[Anya]

No, no, no. It's like ice skating. Like, they're skating around in costumes.

[Drew]

Yeah. Ice skating is, like, another term for doing meth.

[Anya]

Is that actually what people say?

[Drew]

Yeah, they're like, I'm going ice skating. Like, does anybody want to go ice skating? It's on Grinder.

[Anya]

I can't imagine anybody. Like, meth is such a gnarly drug to me that I can't imagine anybody being, like, casual about it, being like, yeah, I'm going to go ice skating. Like, it's chill. That's my vibe.

[Drew]

Later, I'm going, number one drug you can't be casual on. But this is, like, my biggest fear coming true. I've said it several times on this podcast over the last three years. And my biggest. One of my biggest fears is getting tried and going to jail for a crime I didn't commit. And fuck all of y'all. Literally, fuck all of y'all.

[Anya]

The comment so funny because it's like, no, this is an actual crime. And they're trying to find the person who did it. And the top four comments all have, like, 10,000, 20,000, 20,000. And likes of, like, Drew Phillips. That's Drew Phillips.

[Drew]

Like, get him. Get him, mama.

[Anya]

Whoever. Whoever is, like, running the social for, like, Daily Mail or whoever posted it probably was like, oh, that was like.

[Drew]

We got a new story. No, it was ABC News, dfw, which is also very concerning because I am from the DFW area. I have an alibi. I have an alibi about not being in OKC because it happened in Oklahoma. But all I imagine is, like, the people, like, going through the comments, like, looking for tips and like, literally 500 comments with 10,000, 20,000, 30,000 likes, all saying it was me. So then they deep dive on my.

[Anya]

Social media show, and this was, like, when we were looking at it, the first video that showed up is this.

[Drew]

One time seeing the Castle since COVID and the cry, like the Disney fiend. And then if you look up Drew Phillips. Drew Phillips, I think wig, I think comes up and it's me with that fucking hair with the, like, half blonde, half whatever, dancing like a fucking psychopath tweaker. And, like, yeah, like, you know, they saw that shit and they were like, oh, he's actually fucking crazy. Like, he actually does this shit for real.

[Anya]

That was my favorite thing to imagine is somebody looking into it and being like, okay, this guy does look like this. Oh, my God. Okay. And like, deep diving, and you don't have any real pictures, any, like, normal videos. Like, there's rarely any content of you just being a normal person. They probably were like, yeah, this is. This is the guy. I wish you got contacted.

[Drew]

I know. I was like, I was hyper refreshing my email, just, like, waiting for, like, the email to come through, like, for questioning or some shit.

[Anya]

I would just love you on a news broadcast, like, passing, your honor.

[Drew]

No, literally, no. I would go, like, full Andy Kaufman and, like, act like I did it. Like, I would become a problem, and I would waste everybody's time and resources. True. Really doesn't have any normal photos because, like, I've had family members be like, oh, who do you do the podcast with? And they'll, like, show them your guys. Instagram and Enya has, like, a bunch of, like, great photos. And then I go to yours, and it's like, you with, like, no jaw, basically, or, like, no chin. I was thinking about that the other day, and the new picture I'm uploading soon, you know, I decided it's going up. I decided it's going up, y'all.

[Anya]

You've made the decision.

[Drew]

It's going up. And I think it might go up either today.

[Anya]

You should put up the Walter White picture. No, bitch, I love that one. That one didn't get enough love. Like, I know y'all usually, like, screenshot and post that stuff, but, like, why did nobody like that picture?

[Drew]

Because it fucking rancid in repulsive.

[Anya]

Like, I did you, like, face app, A beard and a smile?

[Drew]

Yeah, I face that. The whole thing, like, it's. It was a Walter White filter. And then I facetapped a smile on, and then I, like, contorted my body and, like, held the camera out.

[Anya]

Can we play Raya later? And you, like, have that as my picture.

[Drew]

We will get no likes. Y'all know what Raya is? Raya's like this, if you don't know, is this, like, dating app for, like, celebrities and, like, famous people. But it's hella ran through now. Like, it's fucking bullshit, and it's, like, so annoying. But we play a game called Raya, where we go and we, like, make our profile as heinous and disgusting as possible, and then we just start fucking trolling all the celebrities on there.

[Anya]

And it's fun. It's a goofy gap.

[Drew]

Like, just people looking for love, and then they see Walter White, like, the mentor or whatever. It did work, though, because you met Timothy on there, right?

[Anya]

Yeah, yeah, but they, like, met also. Can we stop talking about I am Drew? And then.

[Drew]

Okay, but wait, wait, wait. I am Drew Phillips. Timothy is Timothy. Mm. We are two separate entities. I'm not Timothy's bae. Timothy's not my bae. We are just together, and that's that. Like, but we can exist. We can exist without the word bae.

[Anya]

So seriously, I'm not his babe.

[Drew]

No, but we can exist.

[Anya]

He's not my bae.

[Drew]

Like, without each other's content.

[Anya]

And I see you as your own person, but it's just way more interesting when you're associated like that.

[Drew]

This hurts, bro. I think I actually broke my bone. No, I didn't.

[Anya]

I wish I saw how hard you fell.

[Drew]

I fell hard as in my.

[Anya]

I mean, I heard it. Literally, at first, I was like, did he knock something over? That's what I thought.

[Drew]

And I was like, but it was.

[Anya]

Your big, big body hitting the floor.

[Drew]

I really think I'm big. Really?

[Anya]

Wait, I have to get this off my chest about my dream, though, because, seriously, I was.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, Dora. It's. What's her nuts, Tinkerbell? You want to talk about Dora? Let's talk about this.

[Anya]

Wait. The thing is, I don't understand why he would steal those wigs, because I don't think they're, like, good wigs.

[Drew]

It's that RuPaul Drag Race. Like, drag queen crime syndicate. Like, literally just like a drag queen stealing a bunch of wigs from Disney. Also literally. Like, how are these worth? They said $10,000.

[Anya]

There's no way, bitch.

[Drew]

Y'all are lying, like. Y'all are fucking lying like crazy. These are not $10,000.

[Anya]

Yeah. You're wearing this one looks crazy.

[Drew]

Well, no, this one's 10,000.

[Anya]

Oh, okay. You took the. Dude, it looks insane. I, like, kind of amazed by it. Like, it's kind of beautiful. It, like, has a life of its own.

[Drew]

Yeah, it fits me really well. It's too small for my fucking head. I think it's made for, like, toddlers or some shit.

[Anya]

Like, did you get the cheapest one?

[Drew]

Yeah, it was 22 bucks, but this all came together for 14. And there's a little thing that I found.

[Anya]

This isn't, like, real. This is pure plastic.

[Drew]

Also, there was, like, the. It says convict on the back, and it's, like, sticky. Like, it's not dried. Like, it, like, I was peeling off. Like, it fell onto a piece of paper, and it, like, ripped the piece of paper to shreds. So, like, there's, like, pieces of, like, paper.

[Anya]

Also, I instacarted some groceries this morning, and Drew had to answer the door to my.

[Drew]

I answered the door in this outfit. And also, he was trying to hand me the. He had all three bags on his arm, and he was like, here? And I was like, what am I supposed to do? And so I started sliding. No, I literally started sliding my arm under his. And then I was like, wait, this is weird as fuck. So I pulled my arm out, and he was like, here. Wait. Wait one second. And I, like, put my shit down, and then I, like, went back and just grabbed them one by one. But, like, he was like, what the fuck is going on in this house? He was a sweet guy, though. He was a sweet guy, but also. They gave you muscles for free.

[Anya]

I know. They gave me clams. Hmm.

[Drew]

Tuna box.

[Anya]

They gave me some clams for my chowder.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

For my yeast infection. My leftover.

[Drew]

But I was saying, I don't know if I'm allergic to mussels, oysters, or clams, but if they're mussels, I was like, should I intentionally eat mussels on the podcast today to have a allergic reaction?

[Anya]

Like, that wouldn't be enjoyable for anybody. Like, not the viewers or us. Like, you would just, like, start.

[Drew]

It would go so viral. It'd be like, stupid fucking podcast Influencer eats muscles to intentionally have an allergic reaction on camera. For views. All publicity is good publicity, babe. Oh, publicity is good publicity.

[Anya]

Well, in my dream, when my sister cut my hair, I literally couldn't stop crying. Everybody was like, oh, you cut your hair? And I was like, yeah. And then I started sobbing, and it was like, in the dream, also in the dream, I was, like, giving way too much props to myself because in my dream, my hair was, like, up to here naturally, and it got Cut. And I was like, oh, my gosh. You cut off, like, 22 inches of my hair. And I accidentally was dressed like Dora, and everybody was making fun of me. I was like, oh, Halloween came early.

[Drew]

Do you remember when you cut your pixie wig? I mean, your. Your pixie cut and you cried, dude.

[Anya]

Yeah. And I was projecting really hard because I was like, ugly people. I looked really ugly.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

It was like the call was coming from inside the house.

[Drew]

It was a cook, dad.

[Anya]

Like, I looked really gross.

[Drew]

No, you grew into it. And it was cute when it was like, the. Like.

[Anya]

Yeah. When it got a little longer. But when I first cut all my hair off, that was.

[Drew]

It was jarring. Yeah.

[Anya]

That was a lot like, I can't believe I fucking did that.

[Drew]

Which is kind. Like, it was fine.

[Anya]

I would do it again if I was, like, 35. But also, I think your hair stops growing as fast the older you get, so maybe that train has sailed and passed. And I'll never do that because I'm so attached to my hair.

[Drew]

I realized, you'll never cut your hair again. Yeah, you'll never. And I don't think you'll ever dye the color.

[Anya]

Yeah, no.

[Drew]

That was such an insane art.

[Anya]

It's, like, not worth it. Also, I look back and I'm like, bro, give it up. Like, you want to be so fucking bad. Like, bitches, watch Scott Pilgrim vs the World 1 time, and they're like, wait, wait, wait.

[Drew]

Okay. So apparently.

[Anya]

No, no.

[Drew]

Okay, okay. Wow. I know. Apparently, I just found this out last night. Harry Styles was a part of this band called One Direction before he was Harry Joke.

[Anya]

Before we started the podcast, you was like, I have a banger of a One Direction joke for this episode. That was the joke joke. So apparently we have been manipulated, because Harry Styles was originally in One Direction. I, like, I can't believe. There are definitely kids who don't know that. So, like. Because when you showed me that comment. So basically, on a video of Harry, somebody was like, oh, my God. I just realized he was in One Direction, apparently. And at first I was like, that has to be a troll. Like, you're just saying that to say it. But then I remember that One Direction started in, like, 2012, and a lot of the kids on the Internet are, like, born in 2010.

[Drew]

It's like, us finding out. Well, I don't even know if that's a good example. Was Justin Timberlake an N Sync? Yeah, it's like that. Like this.

[Anya]

Yeah, I guess we did know him as, like, a solo person. And then it was like NSync. But my mom was an NSync fan, so I knew about NSYNC when I.

[Drew]

Was younger, and I don't give a fudge about any of that.

[Anya]

I didn't give a fuck about them.

[Drew]

Especially the gay. Especially the gay one.

[Anya]

Oh, they do have one really good song that I like.

[Drew]

Who the fuck is Drew Starkey? Where did he come from? That's another psyop. What is it? What has he done before?

[Anya]

Who is that? I don't know who that is.

[Drew]

He's in Luca. Guadalajara. New movie. Is his name Luca? Call me by your name. I actually don't know how to pronounce it, to be honest. Guandango fandango. Hello.

[Anya]

I really need to find this song. I'm never going to find it.

[Drew]

I might need stitches, y'all.

[Anya]

You're so dramatic. Oh. Oh, damn. What is this? Oh, my God. There's a Troll song for. From insing they got the band back together.

[Drew]

We need to get the band back together to watch that.

[Anya]

And it's literally called Troll's Band Together.

[Drew]

Yeah. We haven't had, like, a night in in a long time.

[Anya]

I know. We haven't had, like, a proper sleepover with all our friends. So we do this thing, like, once a year. Every time the Trolls movies come out, our friend group gets together and does a sleepover and watches the Trolls movie together. And every time we have literally watched it and been like, this is a feat.

[Drew]

This is animation. This is a great movie. This is no way around remarkable. Perfect. Perfect.

[Anya]

But that's how I feel still about Spider man across the spider verse. Just if, in case anybody was wondering where I stand with that movie, I still really want to watch it again. I think I might watch it when we go to Arizona this week. That's kind of my tradition when I'm on a plane. I watch it because it just makes me happy. I'm happy.

[Drew]

Hey, guys. We wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Cha ching, cha ching. I mean, we've said it a million, bajillion trillion times. Shopify literally, not even metaphorically literally, changed our lives. Like, changed our lives down.

[Anya]

I know. Made it so much simpler.

[Drew]

Yeah. It gave us the ability to take control of our businesses and our ideas and bring them to fruition, because God knows we are control freaks, and if anybody does anything for us, we don't like it. So it's just nice to be able to do it ourself. And that goes all the Way down to the back end of our shops and our merch shops.

[Anya]

Shopify is the most intuitive site I've literally ever used. It is so simple. Anytime I have a question and can't figure something out, all I have to do is look it up on the site. They have clear cut directions for everything you need to get done and they even have already preset up layouts for a website. So if you're feeling like you just just want to get it over with, you can pick a pre done layout and just add in your pictures, add in your products, add in your descriptions and the work is done on your end.

[Drew]

Upgrade your business and get the same checkouts Allbirds and Mattel uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comintercom all lowercase go to shopify.comintercom to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comintercom.

[Anya]

We'D like to take a quick break for today's sponsor Dipsy.

[Drew]

Let's get freaky.

[Anya]

I'm so freaky when I read. I read my freaky stories. I'm afreak.

[Drew]

You want to see my whispering eye? Oh, it's my butthole.

[Anya]

Okay, I knew that.

[Drew]

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[Anya]

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[Drew]

Sapphic I want to. I want to. I want to hear all of the Sapphic audiobooks. Just all Sapphic love stories. Women on women love. I just want it all in my life. I just love women loving women.

[Anya]

I'm. I'm sure they do like men and men. You could have that too.

[Drew]

Why would I need that?

[Anya]

That's what I'm gonna read. New chapters are released every week so you'll always find something new to enjoy. For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.comintercom that's 30 days of full access for free when you go to dips stories.com intercom dipsystories.com intercom do you all remember Vat 19?

[Drew]

Yes, I bought.

[Anya]

Have you seen that first of all, Vat 19 was the OG Drop Shipper. Like, they weren't making any of that stuff they ate. It is so insane, because I remember being excited up until the age of, like, even 1415. Which really goes to show, like, like, how, like, childish you are at 1415. Even at 1415. I remember looking at their channel and being like, I want something so bad. And I remember when I first got paid from a YouTube thing, I bought the, like, slime they sold, and I bought that Errands. Yeah. And I bought it, and I was so happy. Bitch. Those videos are literally just glorified commercials. Oh, they never made any video that was, like, actually funny or interesting. It was literally just commercials.

[Drew]

Do you remember the liquid glass bathtub?

[Anya]

No.

[Drew]

They, like, got, like, 500 pounds of liquid glass, Crazy Aaron's Putty, and, like, put it in a bathtub and then got inside of it. And then when he was getting out, his bathing suit started falling off. And that was my sexual awakening. Unironically, I was like, wait.

[Anya]

You're like, wait, why would it be really funny if that, like, fell off?

[Drew]

Yeah. Why should it, like, come all the way?

[Anya]

Also, I take a time code because I just moved my legs, and I think my whole V came out. Like.

[Drew]

But I have such a funny story. So when I, like, up my knee, my friends, like, didn't understand, like, how normal surgery was on. Like, children. Like, they thought I was, like, literally dying.

[Anya]

Yeah. To be fair, when my sister got her tonsils removed when she was a kid, I thought she was going to die.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

I literally was like, I'm losing my sister.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Anya]

I'm only seven.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Anya]

It's going to be really hard.

[Drew]

And, like, one of my friends, Hunter, he, like, literally thought I was dying. Like, he freaked the out. And we would, like, sit and watch VAT 19 videos all day long. Like, all, like, literally. That was like our. We would do Ax wars and, like, build, like, forts out of beds and just spray each other with AX all night and then wake up the next day and watch VAT 19 videos. And so he thought I was dying. So he. I had never gotten anything from Vat 19. He really never got shit from it because our parents were like, no, that's just fucking, like, random shit. Yeah. It's garbage. So he literally, I'm not kidding, spent, like, 500 to $1,000 on, like, all of the shit we wanted and gave it to me in a gift basket. And, like, literally, like, before my surgery, because he actually thought I was gonna die. It was literally One of the sweetest things ever. And we got the giant gummy worm and the giant gummy bear. And, like, we took, like, three bites of it, and it was, like, the most repulsive, nasty fucking thing I've ever eaten in. So then we proceeded to get my mom's, like, nice ass, like, fiesta ware ceramic bowl and, like, put it inside of it and then microwave it for, like, 20 minutes. Destroyed the bowl. I don't think she still knows that we did this, but, like, destroyed the bowl, like, melted the coating. And those are, like, nice ass fucking dishes. And, like, just made, like, fucking brown lava. Yeah. And it was horrible. It was like. It was so bad. And we threw it away.

[Anya]

Okay, we need to, like, go back. We need to really, like, reframe our minds because 14, 15 year olds now want chrome hearts. We wanted the big gummy bear.

[Drew]

Yeah. Y'all don't know what it's called.

[Anya]

Gummy worm from Vat 19. Like, that of wealth. We were like, holy. If I could afford the 50 gummy worm, I would be set. I would be so happy.

[Drew]

They want chrome hearts. They want chrome hearts and ring lights Christmas.

[Anya]

They want chrome hearts, ring lights, essential hoodies. I'm just naming off what my siblings want. My siblings are fucking crazy. Like, I always see tiktoks of people being like, oh, hell no. This is what my brother just asked for Christmas. And it's a crazy list. I see all the comments like, there's no way this is real. That shit is real. My sister literally will call me and be like, yeah, I want these extensions. They cost 600. Also, I was thinking, like, I really want these Rick Owens shoes. Like, I need them in pink. Like, they're not sold anymore, but, like, they're for resale for, like, 2000 doll. And I just have to ignore all her texts because I'm like, I don't know who the fuck you think you are talking right now. Like, you are actually Batman.

[Drew]

They always ask you for, like, 1,003 pairs of $1,000 Jordans a year.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, every single year.

[Anya]

Every Christmas list. And they don't watch this podcast. And I will have y'all hold me accountable. I will not be getting my siblings shit for Christmas this year. They are being cut off. Like, I feel like I have to, like, cut off. Like, I feel like this is my equivalent to succession is like, I have to cut off my children. I've never seen succession, though, so I don't know what the fuck.

[Drew]

It's pretty close. It's pretty close.

[Anya]

Yeah. I'm running a fucking empire, y'all.

[Drew]

Exactly. So y'all. We fucking got them. We finally. We got them. Really, really important moment in history happened this last week. The VMAs happened and we solidified the new pop girls. Like, we really. We really did. Chappelle Assless Chaplain and Sabrina Carpenter fucking tour. And also, I didn't really see any Katy. Katy Perry slander, but, like, we had some slander, like, thrown in real life. And I was like, no. Like, absolutely fucking not. Like, her new shit is bunk as fuck. Like, we all know that. But, like, what she did to pop.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Was revolutionary. She is a revolution.

[Anya]

You know what it was? It was like the Dark Horses era. I think that really kind of.

[Drew]

It was the Christine Sudelco music video that, like. Like, not because basketballs, not because Christine love, but.

[Anya]

I know, but it's because of, like, just that era of, like, it was.

[Drew]

Just camped too far.

[Anya]

Yeah. It was when musicians and, like, Internet culture was for the first time merging. When that was happening, everybody was really confused and didn't know really how to integrate it correctly. Now it's like the normal thing of. Of you'll just see, like, an influencer or, like, Internet person in a video and they won't do a thing of, like, do your viral moment. Like, it's not like that. It's just like, they're in it. We all know, like, I see you, you see me, whatever. But it was like that era where it was like.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, didn't they. Didn't she bring out backpack kid on snl? Yes, dude. Oh, my God. That era blocked that.

[Anya]

But I'll give it to her. It was a confusing time for everybody.

[Drew]

And she was a pioneer in her own way in that because she gave us all a lot of opportun opportunity. Because I'll never forget the sex tape me and Katy Perry shot because she saw me online.

[Anya]

The sex tape.

[Drew]

Is that not out yet? I don't think that's released.

[Anya]

I don't. And I don't think she would appreciate that.

[Drew]

We'll blur it and bleep it. We'll blur and bleep. We'll blur and bleep.

[Anya]

No, that VMAs. I need y'all to know I grew up in Stan culture, and at this point in my life, I don't necessarily engage in it the way I used to, like, but something about this VMAs I needed to watch.

[Drew]

It was special. They were messy.

[Anya]

Yeah, it was like, messy. Like, it just felt really. What it was is I was Reaching for the happiness I felt as a teenager because I haven't felt that kind of joy in a long time. But that's a different. Don't touch me.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Anya]

I lost my train of thought.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Anya]

Look what you did.

[Drew]

You haven't felt joy in a long time. I think that's the topic.

[Anya]

Crazy assumption for you to make about you literally just.

[Drew]

That's really problematic. Like, women can feel joy, too. Yeah, I was. You said it. And I was, like, getting back.

[Anya]

I don't remember saying that.

[Drew]

Okay, well, we could rewind it.

[Anya]

And you just said, rewind it. What, are you gonna take the tape out, old fart?

[Drew]

No, this is all shot digitally.

[Anya]

I'm shocked you know what that is. But I really, really wanted to watch the VMAs. MTV, I have a bone to pick with you, you dumb fucking bitches. Why the. Was it streaming in real time, east coast and then not on the West Coast? So I.

[Drew]

They're canceled for that.

[Anya]

It makes no sense. We live in the digital era. Why is your Tick Tock account, mtv, posting about everything happening at the fucking award? Oh, but I have to wait till 8pm to watch it.

[Drew]

Yo, I've never seen Anya apply herself to anything more in my entire life than her trying to get the live stream of the MTV Music Awards up on our goddamn tv. She was, like, trying to pirate it. She was trying. She was like. She bought a VPN. I bought a VPN, bought Hulu Live TV. She spent like, like, literally 50. Did you cancel the VPN?

[Anya]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Okay, good, good.

[Anya]

Oh, I canceled everything immediately.

[Drew]

Yeah, but you still got charged that 30 bucks from Hulu.

[Anya]

Yeah, it was.

[Drew]

And it didn't work. None of it worked.

[Anya]

It was like a $50 attempt.

[Drew]

It was an hour and a half. I'm not exaggerating. And you're trying to get it to be live on the tv, but we just ended up, like, watching the clips uploaded afterwards, which were uploaded before it.

[Anya]

Even streamed on the West Coast. So. Mtv, get your fucking shit together. But you make no fucking sense.

[Drew]

Yeah, but we, like, love you.

[Anya]

And by the time it was streaming on the west coast, all the celebrities were posting their fucking Luke's on ig. So what the fuck would I watch your stream for, bitch? Oh, my God. It, like. It angered me in a way I haven't been in a long time. But thank you for what you've given to the.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, thank you. You. I think. I think y'all did. Y'all did yalls number with that one. Y'all did the big one. Like, I think I feel like been.

[Anya]

Trying get the VMAs back in our face for a long time. And this was the first year where I was like, wait, why do I need to watch this?

[Drew]

Yeah, Sabrina Carpenter, Kuntiana Grande, she tore like. I literally had goosebumps watching that chapel. Roan Chills. It felt like, like all the nods to like, Madonna, Gaga, all of it was amazing. Also, the slander on Addison Ray's outfit is not tolerated. It is not tolerated in this house. Like. Like, if you get it, you get it. Just say you don't get it and that's okay. But you don't gotta like, talk shit. But, like, there's levels to this shit.

[Anya]

Also. I do think people.

[Drew]

It was supposed to be bad.

[Anya]

People underestimate. Not even that. People underestimate how fucking hard it is to put a look together. Like, y'all are thinking, oh, I'm gonna go out with my friends to the fucking pizzeria in my local town. I'm gonna throw my fit. No, you're not thinking about being on a global stage and what that means and having to like, stand out, but not stand out too much and like all those things. So don't compete where you don't compare. Leave my girl alone.

[Drew]

Yeah. But we are just avid Addison Rare and stans and protectors, so don't talk your shit.

[Anya]

And it was a good look. Like, hello.

[Drew]

It literally was. It literally was. What else happened? Oh, bitch. Psychological operations to the highest degree went down at the fucking VMAs. And I'm sorry. Like. Like I'm really gonna get into person.

[Anya]

Like, I haven't even seen like the scary part of Tick Tock.

[Drew]

Say yeah. No. Because I'm gonna be the first one to break the story. God damn it. Okay. Last year, the last three years, it's been so demonic. Like, everything has been demon coded. It's like a whole lot of red. Like, like, just demonic.

[Anya]

Like, was that like Playboy Cardi?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah. Like, just like all black leather, scary dark sided energy. Like worshiping the demon. Like twerking on the demon's lap. And which, like. Like when it first happened, I was like, huh, yeah, this is cool. Like, break the glass ceiling, whatever the fuck. I don't give a fuck anymore. But this VMAs, we watched the pendulum swing for everyone in real fucking time. It was spooky, ooky, scary vibes. Everyone had crosses, they were wearing veils. It was very Catholic core. Like, everyone was so pure. Like, it was Very light energy. And I don't know what that says. It's not a psychological operation. I think it's literally just like, people are like, I want hope and positivity. I'm tired of the demons. Like, I'm tired of all the demon shit.

[Anya]

But, like, they're winning.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was like the. Like, everyone started dying their hair fucking blonde when their new album rolled out because they were so dark sided, like dark trad or whatever. Triad, like, like brunette vibe. Like, scary dark energy. And then they went to like, blonde bitch. I get both. What are you talking about?

[Anya]

You sound fucking crazy. Like, you be like, I'm gonna break the case. I'm gonna break the fucking case.

[Drew]

Yeah, I did just go back and look. There was not one dark sided, sick and twisted evil outfit other than a couple, like, people didn't try hard enough. That was scary. I saw a couple outfits where I was like, bitch, what the fuck are you wearing? Like that fucking, like, pleather, like, or patent leather. Like, shiny with, like, the white piping. Like, that shit freaks me the fuck out. Like the James Charles outfits.

[Anya]

Wait, what is it? Like the, like, kind of like mugler looking?

[Drew]

No, it's just like, shiny, like.

[Anya]

You don't like patent leather?

[Drew]

I don't like. I liked it. I don't like it anymore. It's like, it's like that goddamn off white belt. Like, the same thing happened to it. I like the off white belt, but, like, y'all just did too much with it. Like, ugh. Like, give it up.

[Anya]

Well, I have nothing negative to say. I'm just moving into a very positive headspace.

[Drew]

You have been very positive.

[Anya]

Yeah. I'm so happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. Oh, actually, no. I got a fudgeing bone to pick. I was on TikTok Live.

[Drew]

You after shit talking MTV for like 10 minutes.

[Anya]

I was on TikTok Live and somebody asked me how my year went, and I just, like, went on a stupid fake. Whoa. You were like, bleeding a lot.

[Drew]

It's like staining the chair. Every time I touch it, it hurts.

[Anya]

Oh, you're gonna get like, asbestos from.

[Drew]

Do you see it's like leaking like plasma or is that bone marrow at the top? Do you see the clear liquid coming out? It might just be white blood cells. It's already healing. My body is a fast healer. Look right there.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yes. I'm already scabbing over, babe. I'm like, Wolverine. I do get Wolverine any.

[Anya]

What was I saying, dude? Oh, I was on live stream, and somebody asked me how my year went, and I said that it went awful. And I'm like, I tried this year.

[Drew]

I.

[Anya]

This year was the first year of my life where I was like, I'm gonna be optimistic. I was in a deep, deep, dark depression. But I was like, you know what? I already know when I hear the birds chirping, I'll be fine. Like, this year will be awesome. No, this year was fucking nightmarish hellscape for me. And I'm no longer having. Trying to have a positive mindset because look where it got me. Why was one of the comments, like, somebody posted that clip on TikTok? Why was one of the comments, like, easy for her to say? I already know her life's been super easy.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, that's in your rally. Like, Kamala calling out Trump's rally sizes. That's in his trigger. If you talk about her having an easy growing.

[Anya]

I had it easy growing up. You don't know the half. My Life was awesome in a funny, fun way.

[Drew]

It literally wasn't awesome.

[Anya]

Yeah, it was something. But, like, a lot of y'all are mad I made it out the mud. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, you bitch. Like what? Like, literally.

[Drew]

And your dead ass did make it out of the trenches, and now we're back in the trenches because our house is falling.

[Anya]

I have to go back to mentioning that I'm from Miami and I grew up poor. Remember when that was, like, my thing? I mentioned every episode, by the way. People are starting to forget the Nepo rumors have gotten a little too far. People think my shit is easy. Shit is not sweet. I still have a lot of things to figure out and, like, to work on. I was obsessed with the Fortnite.

[Drew]

Oh, the FNC.

[Anya]

Yeah, the FNCs. This weekend, Drew put me on, and.

[Drew]

I watched Peter bought and five hours worth of. Y'all need to leave Pollo alone.

[Anya]

Pollo is literally carrying, like, he is.

[Drew]

Lit as most under rated the healer player of all time. No, he's giving, like, the healer. He's giving, like, the mind of the mastermind. Like, he. He's controlling the moves. Like, he's taking a back seat. Back seat. So Peter can, like, bask in the limelight and get the cool kills, but really, like, he's holding it down. Like, he is holding it down.

[Anya]

There's no Peter Rotten team.

[Drew]

Yeah, you need to work on that.

[Anya]

Well, I watched, like, five hours of that stream, and then, like, the thing about watching that, I haven't been playing for night as much, but the thing about watching that, it made Fortnite look so fun and exciting. And I was like, oh, my God, I want to play. But then I was like, wait, I'm not gonna get on and play like a fucking world champion right now. I'm gonna get on, get murked, and be, like, really sad and upset and just, like, turn off my fucking PS5 the second I get killed. So I'm not gonna play. But that almost got me to play. Yeah, it almost got me there. I miss. I miss disassociating and playing Fortnite for five hours a day. Like. Like, I was much happier because I wasn't in my real life. I was just, like, disconnecting and, like.

[Drew]

Existing in virtual reality.

[Anya]

Like, world out. Fortnite, in world out. Like, I miss it so much. They just need to add something funny, like proximity chat or something. Then I would play. Then I would play all the fucking time. But, yeah, I watched five hours of Fortnite this weekend. That's kind of where my mind's at. Just, like, very gluttonous.

[Drew]

I did find out that this new tick dropped that makes you allergic to meat. And, no, it just came out. Like, why can't they drop cool new animals that, like, make you forever youthful? Like, why do they make you allergic to meat?

[Anya]

I thought you were part of Scientology. Don't they have that yet?

[Drew]

But, yeah, but I can't talk about it.

[Anya]

Well, I just did.

[Drew]

Have you ever looked at a hippo? Like, have you ever. Actually, they're ugly. They're the most alien creatures on this planet. There's this, like, pygmy hippo. Like, going viral right now that I'm.

[Anya]

Going viral right now.

[Drew]

She's eating. She's like this little, like, tiny hippo. It's so cute, and it's slippery, and she, like, bites her, like, handlers and just look up. Oh, look up, India. Look up pygmy hippo. I think it's like.

[Anya]

How do you spell that?

[Drew]

It's like mungdang or something like that. Or mungu.

[Anya]

Oh, that's.

[Drew]

Hello, babe. Mudang. Yeah.

[Anya]

That'S really cute.

[Drew]

Skip this. Daily Mail.

[Anya]

Wait, what the viral happy. Do not give her own makeup line.

[Drew]

Don't give Daily Mail a view. You.

[Anya]

Wait. Hippos look like. Are these, like, different kinds of hippos? Because the big ones look really gross.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying, bro. I watched a video of them, and I was like, wait, I don't think I've ever actually looked at a hippo before. Like, they're cute, but hell no. When they open that goddamn mouth and eat the.

[Anya]

They're terrifying. I only know what a hippo looks like in extreme detail because in Ace Ventura Pet Adventurers, when Jim Carrey comes out of a hippo's ass.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

So that's why I know what a hippo.

[Drew]

Wasn't he, like, inside of a rhino that got.

[Anya]

Or am I. Oh, it's a rhino. I'm thinking of a rhino, not a hippo. I think it is a rhino.

[Drew]

Wait, was maybe making that up. But there's no. No, no, no. There's, like, this different, like, Scandinavian show with a clip of, like, someone hiding inside of, like, a rhino or an elephant. Like, an animatronic elephant. And then, like, they. It's really gnarly, like, and super graphic, but, like, the. The elephant comes up and starts, like, fucking the animatronic elephant. And there's, like, footage inside. It's all fake, though.

[Anya]

Oh.

[Drew]

But you can see, like, the giant elephant penis, period. Okay. What Rick and Morty did for Vape Shops. Wait, hold on.

[Anya]

The fact that you have to read this.

[Drew]

What Rick and Morty. What Rick and Morty did for vape shops is what I imagine the Beatles did for music. Like, when people say. When people say the Beatles changed everything, like, Rick and Morty changed everything for these goddamn vape shops.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

They really made them billions.

[Anya]

I don't understand the legality of it, though. Like, I guess it's not legal, but it's just so much that, like, what is. What are they gonna do?

[Drew]

Like, it's also free promo at that point.

[Anya]

Yeah, true. But, like, why do they even do drugs like that in Rick and Morty? Like, why did it become so stoner affiliated? Is it just because it was, like, a stoner show to watch?

[Drew]

Yeah, it's just like, the thought that are had. Are, like, very stoner coated. Like, what if we, like, had, like, a portal and, like, planet? Yeah, exactly.

[Anya]

That's what Rick and Morty is to me is like, oh, like, I got shot into Butt Planet with boobs.

[Drew]

That's literally Ms. Frazzle. Like, wait, actually, let's have that conversation.

[Anya]

Magic.

[Drew]

Magic school bus being the original Rick and Grizzle being the original Morty girl, it doesn't fucking matter. You. You knew exactly what I was referencing and talking about, you know?

[Anya]

Exactly.

[Drew]

Exactly. Yeah. The pandemic of Rick and Morty, I feel, is coming to an end, thankfully. But I'm.

[Anya]

What's gonna be the Replacement for that, though.

[Drew]

Smiling Friends?

[Anya]

I don't think so. Maybe give them.

[Drew]

Give them two more seasons and it'll be like.

[Anya]

Yeah. Because it took Rick and Morty a minute to infiltrate the vape shops, so they just need a little time.

[Drew]

It took them three years.

[Anya]

I feel like if it was six.

[Drew]

Years before I saw him on backpacks in school.

[Anya]

I feel like if we were back in time and this show was still a thing, it would have been big in the vape shops. And it's Happy Tree Friends.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Anya]

That would have been crazy for the vape shop community. Do you know what that is?

[Drew]

Yeah. But I feel like that it's so. It's, like, so gnarly to have, like, a beheaded teddy bear. Yeah. On a vape. That's more of, like, a Zoomies are a Hot Topic thing.

[Anya]

Yeah. Were Zoomies in Hot Topic? I think so. I think there was merch of that everywhere.

[Drew]

I would imagine. Was there a merch? Because that shit was pretty gnarly. I remember watching it. It was literally the worst thing we could have ever done to our brains when we were. I remember watching when I was, like, 13, 35, being like, no, I wasn't 35. I was 13.

[Anya]

And there was merch.

[Drew]

Scared the out of me. It was horrible. I remember there was, like, my life before, like. Like, one of my, like. Like, brother or one of my friends. Older brother showed me that. And then there's my life after. It's always the older brothers. Like, I have a visceral memory of, like, the face of, like. I think it's the squirrel character peeling off. And it's, like, all the muscles and the eye and connective tissue and.

[Anya]

Dude, my dad was dating this woman with, like, teenage kids and cousins, and they would show it to me all the time. And I was, like, 9 years old, and I had to act like I liked it because I want it to be cool. And they would show it to me on, like, a computer. I'd be like, that's funny. And I would just, like, really try not to watch. And they'd be like, why are you being a pussy just watching? I was like, yeah, I seriously want something else. That's the same family who showed me the Bloody Mary Universal Horror Nights commercial. That scared the out of me. And I thought I was gonna die. And I, like. I had a big mirror in my room, and I couldn't sleep that night. And I went to go tell my dad, and he was like, who the fuck is Bloody Mary? Go to bed. And I was like, and I wanted to take the mirror off the wal, but I was like too tiny to do it.

[Drew]

But yeah, they did have big things coming, y'all. By the way, big things are coming. Like the big. Like something is coming.

[Anya]

Don't say that.

[Drew]

It's actually like big actually happening though. Like something big is going to happen soon.

[Anya]

The thing is, I. Wait, I don't remember if I said this on the last episode. I don't remember when this happened. Did the earthquake happen before or after the last episode?

[Drew]

I don't know. I think we talked about it.

[Anya]

Whatever. I fucking hate you guys. This episode is brought to you by.

[Drew]

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[Anya]

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[Drew]

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[Anya]

This episode is brought to you by Etsy. Oh, hear that? Okay, thank you. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, happy tears? How did you. And spontaneously written songs of joy.

[Drew]

I am so happy. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

[Anya]

Oh yeah. Um, okay, the song needs a bit of work. But anyway to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked and designed gifts from small shops on Etsy. Gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifts that say I get you, Etsy has it. My dad works in B2B marketing.

[Drew]

He came by my school for career.

[Anya]

Day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day.

[Drew]

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[Anya]

To be. Well, Josiah got a colon I was gonna say and people actually showed up.

[Drew]

I was just about to bring that up. The colonoscopy. Josiah's colonoscopy meetup was a Wild fucking success. It was amazing meeting all of y'all out there. Anytime I see, like, photos or video of it, it's actually the. It makes me cry, laughing, thinking about that actually happening and people actually being down for the vibe and jokes. People skip, like, fucking college. Like, yeah, they're called out of work.

[Anya]

Like, also just, like, the idea of, like, y'all sitting in the, like, little courtyard that was across from the hospital he was getting it done at. And me and Drew walking in, like, it felt like we are actually going to visit a friend who was in the ICU or something serious. And there were, like, fans outside, like, wishing a fast, fast recovery. And we were inside just cracking up. So we're like, I cannot believe this motherfucker actually posted the address. And people actually showed up to a surgery that is not really a surgery. He's just getting his fucking butt looked at like that.

[Drew]

She got probed down.

[Anya]

I still, like, didn't really understand what a colonoscopy was before that, because I always thought a colonoscopy was when they, like, put the tube up your butt and shoot water through it and empty out your colon.

[Drew]

Colonic.

[Anya]

Colonic. Colonic. Sounds like an alcohol.

[Drew]

Yeah, I would love to drink a colonic.

[Anya]

I'll have a colonic on the rocks, please. Thank you.

[Drew]

You can get a coffee enema.

[Anya]

I want a colonic. No egg white.

[Drew]

Make sure you use decaf coffee for your coffee enemas.

[Anya]

Is that a thing?

[Drew]

Yep.

[Anya]

Ew.

[Drew]

It's a thing. Coffee enemas are a thing.

[Anya]

Wait, wait, What. What is an enema? Is that just, like, a douche?

[Drew]

It's essentially a colonic, but with color coffee.

[Anya]

I don't understand. Why Is that, like, medically safe or.

[Drew]

I don't think it's medically recommended, but, like, people do it.

[Anya]

Is it to, like, boof it?

[Drew]

I. I don't even know if they do it with caffeine. I think it's really just to clean out their colon.

[Anya]

You can do that at home?

[Drew]

Yeah. People, they, like, sell systems for it. When I was really, really down bad in high school and, like, looking for any solution to, like, get the. That's, like, lodged in my colon out of my ass. I was doing so much research on, like, enemas and suppositories and laxatives.

[Anya]

Your body has been a failure from the beginning.

[Drew]

Exactly. You.

[Anya]

Sorry.

[Drew]

No, I'm kidding. Magnesium citrate, y'all. That's. That's the one. A bottle. A bottle or two of magnesium citrate will have You Right.

[Anya]

The only time I've ever drank magnesium citrate is when I was in Miami and I was so constipated. So I called Drew and I was like, what do you drink? He was like, magnesium citrate. I went to Walmart. I got it. This was in, like, the. Right before the New Year's of 2021 or 2022. I drank that. I went to bed. I was sharing an Airbnb with my friends in Miami. I went to bed. I woke up two hours later, and it felt like I was, like, hungover. Like, you know when you wake up in the middle of the night after drinking a lot and you just feel, like, dehydrated and shitty and, like, nauseous. I woke up like that. I went into the.

[Drew]

I don't get hungover.

[Anya]

Yeah, because you black out and you, like, barely wake up.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I'm a good vibe. I have a time.

[Anya]

But I woke up in the middle of night fully dehydrated and thought I was dying. Went in the bathroom, blue water out my butt, and then had to shower because I was so nauseous and dehydrated. And I felt so sick. I had a gnarly headache. Headache. Woke up the next day, and I tested for positive for Covid.

[Drew]

Yeah. And yet.

[Anya]

So I'm, like, convinced magnesium citrate gave me Covid.

[Drew]

Thought it gave her Covid. I was like, girl, well, the jet the night before, you already had.

[Anya]

Right before I took it, I had taken a test for Covid, and I tested negative. So within the hours of taking that, I think it, like, jump drived, crashing my immune system. And I had Covid, and it destroyed my New Year's that year. And it was really sad for me. And I spent New Year's alone, not even with my family or my friends.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Anya]

Well, my back hurts so bad.

[Drew]

After Josiah's colonoscopy, we went to the mall. And the mall, I think really, like, for 2025, the mall is going to be in. In a bit, very big way. Like, it was so much fun.

[Anya]

As you can see stuff in real life, you don't have to look at it on your iPhone.

[Drew]

Yeah. It was such a fucking vibe. Like. Like, you didn't have to, like, worry about certain things not fitting. You got to see the pieces in person. You got to interact with people. It was just really good energy, and it was really good vibes. And I'm really excited to go back during the Christmas time to see all the people, like, rushing to get gifts and, like, see all the Christmas decorations. It's going to be like a wholesome, cozy, cold vibe. Malls are in, y'all. Like, I'm trend predicting malls because they, like, kind of fell the fuck off.

[Anya]

I know we need to get back to, like, kids going to malls and hanging out. Like, that should be, like, the peak experience. But I feel like there are still kids who like, yeah, there's. There still has to be mall rats. Oh, my God. Be like, being a teenager and going to the mall with your family was so embarrassing because you had such a high chance of seeing other kids who weren't there with your family. Pissed me off.

[Drew]

Also, I need to thank my mother publicly for driving and my friends moms for driving me and my friends, like, an hour and 30 minutes to the closest mall to drop us off to just sit in the parking lot and then pick us back up and drive us back home after, like, four hours of roaming around. That is dedication to a craft. That is. We need more people like that in this world. Also, if everybody had my brain chemistry. Yes. If everyone had my brain chemistry and thought the way that I thought, this world would be very. A very special place. That is actually a lie.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

We would eradicate the population.

[Anya]

Everybody would self combust. Like, you're crazy. You just went on a tangent about how you think, like, the demons are leaving and there's, like, a big spiritual, like, thing happening in the public eye.

[Drew]

Because there is. There fully is. Like, I genuinely believe that. Just go back and, y'all. You'll notice how creepy and weird it is.

[Anya]

Did. He would not shut the up. The whole time we were watching the VMAs, I was like, can you shut up? He was like, look, there's more, there's more, there's more, there's more crosses. Look. Even in that performance, she had crosses on her. Like, what is this, bitch? It's chrome hearts.

[Drew]

Yeah, she was wearing a chrome heart tattoo. It's basically chrome hearts. But I'm gonna get a cross tattoo. I think just have a saying that.

[Anya]

Are you serious?

[Drew]

Just have a story.

[Anya]

What would the story be like?

[Drew]

Are you religious? Not really. I just think, like, the cross is kind. Like, it's meaningful. Like, the. The symbol itself is fire and, like, what it means, but, like, it's so simple. Oh, like this. People behind it.

[Anya]

Yuck.

[Drew]

Well, also, I just grew up hella religious, so it was like, kind of a vibe.

[Anya]

I didn't grow up religious at all other than, like, being forced to partake in some Jehovah's Witness activities.

[Drew]

I Got confirmed.

[Anya]

What does that mean?

[Drew]

Like, I made. I got baptized when I was like an infant. And then at the age of like 13 and 14, I made a conscious decision. Decision. Decision. Yeah, yeah. Decision to join the church as an adult. So I went to, like every Sunday and was Wednesday. I would go to like, classes at.

[Anya]

The church Sunday, and was Wednesday, like, damn, you want to get to heaven really bad?

[Drew]

Yeah, no, I locked in my spot. I fully. I locked in my spot. Like, I was thinking very quickly, you did pre order. Yeah, no, I was literally like, okay, if I do this, like, I have a solid chance of getting into heaven. Like, even if I like fall out of love with God later in my life. And then like the. The day before we got confirmed, we were having like a class and someone brought up gay and like, the teacher, like, went on this like, long, gnarly winded conversation of like, anti homosexual, like, rhetoric. So me and Madeline walked out, but we went back and got confirmed anyways. But we did not stand for that in the moment. We were like, girl, y'all, like, you're weird. Oh, it's. It's peace and love. It's peace and love and love everybody. Love everybody. Suck my dick in my balls. Literally, period.

[Anya]

I did a good job of not interrupting you, but by doing that, I don't remember what I was going to say. And I was really trying to do a good job of listening and remembering what I was going to say, but that's just not going to happen. It's. It's gone forever.

[Drew]

It's all good. Everything is going to be okay.

[Anya]

Fuck. I was going to say something about religion and I forgot. Oh, is it too late to get baptized? I could have get baptized right now.

[Drew]

Yeah, you can do that at any point in your life.

[Anya]

I want to get baptized just to be like, oh, that was pre baptism. Yeah, like that was. There's pre and post baptism in you. And that was pre baptism.

[Drew]

That's kind like, like. Yeah, I support. I literally support it. I support.

[Anya]

But I would want like a cunty baptism. Like, I'd want to go like up to Big Sur and like, go get baptized in the river.

[Drew]

Yeah, you can do that.

[Anya]

Like that.

[Drew]

They probably have like a church group up there that does that.

[Anya]

No, in Big Sur, I feel like it would be more like cult.

[Drew]

I got baptized in like this nasty, fucking gross tub that was just stagnant water behind the stage constantly.

[Anya]

I bet people have pissed in there.

[Drew]

It was like always full of water. So that water was full of fucking brain eating. Amoebas and oh my God. Imagine getting baptized like, in a lake. Because they do that all the time. And you like, a month later, you'd.

[Anya]

Probably be happy even you'd be like, oh, my God. God took over my mind and I feel so.

[Drew]

It was my story. It was my story. It was meant to be.

[Anya]

I just remembered that they taught us how to swim growing up in Miami. Like, they taught us how to swim when we were in, like, pre K kindergarten at my school.

[Drew]

It's like the law in some places.

[Anya]

Yeah, I think it's a law in Florida. You have to teach the kids how to swim. But also, I don't know if they did this with my younger sibling things, but they're also like 10 years younger than me, so I don't know. But the swimming pool was an above ground pool, literally in the, like, pipe room. Like, it was in this scary dungeon room.

[Drew]

It was underground?

[Anya]

No, it wasn't underground. It was like, where all the water heaters and stuff for the school was. It was like, really weird. And I just remember this room so vividly, and it was like, so dark and dingy and kind of orange. And I just remember having to go get in the pool with all my classmates and, like, swim circles and giving us life vests and stuff. But it was the weirdest experience ever. And I don't know if they do that anymore. Like, I want to look that up.

[Drew]

They definitely do that sometimes, y'all. I'm in bed. I'll just be laying in bed. Like, I had a really good day. I'm, like, feeling great. And then I start descending into madness. Like, and the thought that always go comes to my head is, what if I'm not not in my bed right now? Like, what if I'm actually in the middle of the street?

[Anya]

Yeah. Drew was saying that to me the other night. He was like, do you ever get that feeling? I was like, no. And then we just sat there silent.

[Drew]

It's because I'm a shifter.

[Anya]

No, it's because you're schizophrenic.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, I. Like, I. Yeah, it's freaky. Freaks me the out sometimes. And even thinking about it right now, I'm like, wait, am I actually here?

[Anya]

Well, I keep having scary dreams, so I don't know what that's about.

[Drew]

That's your SSRI pumping all the demonic energy out of your body.

[Anya]

Flooding my brain with demons before I go to bed.

[Drew]

Demons. You know what song I'm talking about?

[Anya]

No. Oh. Oh, Ash Nico, though.

[Drew]

I think so.

[Anya]

Wait, wait, wait. Now I need to find this.

[Drew]

It's a. It's like a Spanish song.

[Anya]

Oh, never mind.

[Drew]

Or Portuguese or some.

[Anya]

I thought you were singing this song.

[Drew]

No, but this song is so funny. I'm crazy. But you like that? You like that angel on my headset?

[Anya]

All right. I really don't have anything else to say if I'm being honest.

[Drew]

So one of the reasons our friend group is so tight knit and close and has survived all of the many years together is because none of us fuck each other. No, y'all are incestuous and you're all fucking each other in your friend groups. That's bad. Actually, it's not bad. You can do whatever the fuck you want. But if you want a long lasting relationship with your friends, don't go around banging all of them slags. Like, damn title, fucking slagging, slag. Or fuck is this Day num Broke my arm.

[Anya]

Groups need to watch Naked Attraction. That's what really keeps you together is watching Naked Attraction. That's like the best show ever. I love that show. It's so fucking funny. Which makes me feel up because I'm just literally laughing at naked people. But also, like, it's just so funny.

[Drew]

It's really the. The only place, place in the world you can go to see like the average human body. Like really see like what a real human looks like. Because like all the fucking porn is contrived. It's like the hottest people, like, biggest even.

[Anya]

Like, I like, it's like you're seeing the hottest people on the planet.

[Drew]

Yeah. But on Naked Attraction it is what we actually look like. And it's just so funny to just make up, make fun of like the way some vaginas look in some penises. It's fun. Like, y'all should try it out, dude.

[Anya]

Yeah, I like every time there's a man on the screen, it really freaks me out. I hate the close ups of the penises.

[Drew]

You when you can see like the like chicken goosebumps on the ball.

[Anya]

Ew, I hate this.

[Drew]

Also incision seam.

[Anya]

That's all.

[Drew]

You know that was supposed to be. You know that was supposed to be a vagina. Yeah, the seam like it was supposed to grow into a vagina or the other way around. It sealed up because we're all girls first, right? Yeah. Yeah. Jesus made women with his rib.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Drew]

Ripped it out of his body.

[Anya]

Well, my media of the week is. Oh, my God. I'm on the last season of Girls. I have five episodes left. I think I'm gonna finish it Today Banger.

[Drew]

Oh, I broke this at some point. I don't remember doing that. But you were saying that the finales have gotten really good.

[Anya]

Yeah, the, like, season finales of those episodes become so intense and good and I'm. Oh, my God, it's just such a good show. I love that show. It's so funny, dude.

[Drew]

I actually unironically can't pull this off the way I was able to because this hurts when I use my pointer finger. Can you just, like, rip that off? Oh, thank you, baby. Oh, thank you, baby.

[Anya]

I'm finishing Girls. That's my media of the week and my song. Media of the week is Freeman in Paris by Joni Mitchell. Work to do. The Isley Brothers. We gotta get you a woman. Todd Rundgren and your mama Stinky in my Butt.

[Drew]

Minus Square heart. It's a bunch of random numbers that I'm not gonna read. Just look up Square heart and then Usuria Parentheses Psychosis by Edward Skeletrix. Very bullish on Edward Skeletrix. Up next. For real. I think he's pushing the medium and the craft further than anybody in the world right now.

[Anya]

That's what people say about me.

[Drew]

Hot Topic, eh? And Hunter. Hunter, Hunter. Just go watch Hunter X. Hunter. It is perfect. Down to the last minute detail. Down to the last minute detail.

[Anya]

I like this mood you're in today.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, mania.

[Anya]

You're, like, in a carrying mood. You're gonna carry me through this day.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, I'm gonna get you. No, we're gonna go to the gym.

[Anya]

And it's gonna destroy your life.

[Drew]

I was gonna say. Just wait. I will come.

[Anya]

The crash coming. It's gonna be.

[Drew]

I will crash like crazy very quickly and I will experience anhedonia unlike anything.

[Anya]

This is the first time our, like, we aren't, like, synced. Like, we're not absorbing each other's energy.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

We're drifting apart.

[Anya]

I don't want to be friends with you.

[Drew]

I don't want to be friends with you anymore.

[Anya]

So we really are Elijah and Hannah. Like, the more I watch this, I'm like, this is literally me and Drew's future. Because all we talk about is up. I'm like, oh, somebody I'm going to date thinks I'm going to fucking live with them. Hell the fuck no. I don't believe in marriage. I don't believe in living with a partner. That shit's fucking crazy. Get the fuck away from me. I'm going to live with Drew forever. And then watching that show I'm like, oh, my God. This is literally.

[Drew]

You can do it. You really can do it.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Drew]

Okay, we're done. Bye.