Emergency Intercom: Airbnb Horror Stories

Podcast Information:

• Title: Emergency Intercom
• Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Description: A comedy podcast where Enya and Drew share outrageous and humorous stories, often delving into personal anecdotes and wild experiences.
• Episode: Airbnb Horror Stories
• Release Date: March 3, 2023

1. Introduction: Stressful Travels and Personal Struggles [00:52 – 05:00]

The episode opens with Enya and Drew discussing their hectic schedules and the challenges of traveling. Enya expresses pain from her period as they prepare for a flight to Paris.

• Enya: “Mine fucking too. I'm on my goddamn period. I have a flight to Paris in an hour.” ([00:58])
• Drew: “If you're on your period, you can't get on a flight. You're not allowed to get on a flight because it's going to stink up the whole cabin.” ([01:04])

The conversation humorously exaggerates the discomforts of traveling during menstruation, setting a lighthearted tone.

2. Show Recommendations: MILF Manor [01:34 – 03:18]

Enya and Drew recommend the reality show MILF Manor, emphasizing its extreme and bizarre content.

• Drew: “If you do not. If you don't know what that show is, please. Do not look it up and start watching it, because it is the most insane thing ever.” ([01:35])
• Enya: “It's really fucking weird. But it is so addicting to watch.” ([03:05])

They caution listeners against watching the show due to its disturbing nature, highlighting their preference for outrageous entertainment.

3. Managing a Dirty Home: Creating a Biohazard [03:18 – 06:10]

The duo discusses the chaos in their household, particularly focusing on mishaps involving dirty laundry and unsanitary conditions.

• Enya: “We are creating a homunculus.” ([06:06])
• Drew: “We're building Biohazard because also my old stinky pads are in there.” ([06:01])

Their banter humorously addresses the extreme mess in their home, illustrating their comedic chemistry and ability to find humor in unpleasant situations.

4. Unexpected Guests: An Encounter with an Uber Celebrity [06:10 – 16:34]

Enya and Drew recount a bizarre encounter with a celebrity who unexpectedly sought accommodation at their home.

• Enya: “We're not gonna name this person, but just know they're an uber celebrity.” ([07:03])
• Drew: “It was so funny because... we... were giggling like little kids.” ([10:13])

The story unfolds with the celebrity arriving late at night, leading to sleepless antics and playful trolling by Enya and Drew. Their reactions range from initial panic to uncontrollable laughter as they interact with the unexpected guest.

5. Airbnb Horror Stories [16:34 – 38:55]

This segment delves into their most harrowing Airbnb experiences, marked by infestations and poor host management.

a. Flea Infestation in Los Angeles Airbnb [16:34 – 22:53]

Enya and Drew describe their stay in a Los Angeles Airbnb plagued by fleas, leading to a nightmarish stay.

• Enya: “I look at the carpet and I start getting bitten alive on my legs.” ([18:07])
• Drew: “We were freaking out… and we have white socks on and we look down at our feet and our socks are basically black covered in fleas.” ([18:39])

Their meticulous inspection revealed a severe flea infestation, triggering fears of Lyme disease and prompting frantic efforts to clean the property. Despite contacting the Airbnb host, they were denied a refund, culminating in the host leaving a scathing review.

• Enya: “I had a picture of the rat all over my goddamn shirt...” ([26:11])

b. Rat-Infested Garage Airbnb and Bad Reviews [22:53 – 38:55]

Continuing their Airbnb woes, Enya shares another experience involving a rat-infested garage apartment.

• Enya: “I left half of an avocado on the counter because I just put the shirt down and that was not there.” ([20:10])
• Drew: “The Airbnb host was like, no, I'm not giving you a refund.” ([22:31])

They battled not only the presence of pests but also uncooperative hosts. Enya recounts receiving a derogatory review after finding rat feces and avian disturbances, highlighting the emotional and financial toll of such stays.

• Drew: “My response? You had a fucking rat. Asshole.” ([32:34])

Their frustration with Airbnb’s resolution process and the impact of negative reviews on their profiles underscores the difficulties faced by guests in such situations.

c. Additional Airbnb Misadventures [29:00 – 38:55]

Enya and Drew touch upon other Airbnb issues, including misleading listings and broken property promises.

• Enya: “The photos make it look really nice, but then when you get inside, you realize, oh, this is actually just a man's garage.” ([28:20])
• Drew: “They make light bulbs that radiate. But yeah.” ([48:33])

Their stories emphasize the disparity between advertised amenities and actual conditions, reinforcing their skepticism towards Airbnb listings.

6. Media and Personal Anecdotes [38:55 – 54:31]

Moving away from Airbnb tales, Enya and Drew share various personal stories, media recommendations, and humorous occurrences during their travels.

• Enya: “We got the worst pizza of all time because we spent all of our money on this weed.” ([44:05])
• Drew: “I have to watch the Sopranos. That's what I'm gonna download an episode to watch on the plane.” ([50:46])

They discuss their musical preferences, experiences getting high, and miscommunications during heightened states, adding depth to their comedic narrative.

7. Conclusion and Final Thoughts [54:03 – 54:31]

The episode wraps up with final remarks on media preferences and upcoming plans.

• Enya: “Peace and love. Bye.” ([54:03])

Notable Quotes:

• Enya on MILF Manor: “It's really fucking weird. But it is so addicting to watch.” ([03:05])
• Drew on Flea Infestation: “We were freaking out… and we have white socks on and we look down at our feet and our socks are basically black covered in fleas.” ([18:39])
• Enya on Bad Reviews: “I had a picture of the rat all over my goddamn shirt...” ([26:11])
• Drew on Host Negativity: “My response? You had a fucking rat. Asshole.” ([32:34])

Key Takeaways:

• Unreliable Listings: Enya and Drew highlight the disconnect between Airbnb listings and actual property conditions, emphasizing the importance of thorough research before booking.

• Host Accountability: The hosts' lack of responsiveness and unwillingness to address serious issues like infestations demonstrate flaws in Airbnb's host accountability mechanisms.

• Impact of Reviews: Negative reviews, whether deserved or not, can significantly affect guests' ability to book future stays, showcasing the double-edged sword of Airbnb’s review system.

• Humor Amidst Chaos: Despite extreme situations, Enya and Drew maintain a comedic outlook, turning distressing experiences into humorous anecdotes for their audience.

Conclusion:

In this episode of Emergency Intercom, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips provide a candid and humorous exploration of their terrifying yet laughable experiences with Airbnb. From flea infestations to deceptive listings, their stories shed light on the potential pitfalls of using Airbnb, all delivered with their signature comedic flair. Whether you're a seasoned traveler or an occasional guest, their tales serve as both entertainment and cautionary advice for future Airbnb users.