Airbnb horror stories

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Airbnb Horror Stories

Podcast Information:

• Title: Emergency Intercom
• Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Description: A comedy podcast where Enya and Drew share outrageous and humorous stories, often delving into personal anecdotes and wild experiences.
• Episode: Airbnb Horror Stories
• Release Date: March 3, 2023

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1. Introduction: Stressful Travels and Personal Struggles [00:52 – 05:00]

The episode opens with Enya and Drew discussing their hectic schedules and the challenges of traveling. Enya expresses pain from her period as they prepare for a flight to Paris.

• Enya: “Mine fucking too. I'm on my goddamn period. I have a flight to Paris in an hour.” ([00:58])
• Drew: “If you're on your period, you can't get on a flight. You're not allowed to get on a flight because it's going to stink up the whole cabin.” ([01:04])

The conversation humorously exaggerates the discomforts of traveling during menstruation, setting a lighthearted tone.

2. Show Recommendations: MILF Manor [01:34 – 03:18]

Enya and Drew recommend the reality show MILF Manor, emphasizing its extreme and bizarre content.

• Drew: “If you do not. If you don't know what that show is, please. Do not look it up and start watching it, because it is the most insane thing ever.” ([01:35])
• Enya: “It's really fucking weird. But it is so addicting to watch.” ([03:05])

They caution listeners against watching the show due to its disturbing nature, highlighting their preference for outrageous entertainment.

3. Managing a Dirty Home: Creating a Biohazard [03:18 – 06:10]

The duo discusses the chaos in their household, particularly focusing on mishaps involving dirty laundry and unsanitary conditions.

• Enya: “We are creating a homunculus.” ([06:06])
• Drew: “We're building Biohazard because also my old stinky pads are in there.” ([06:01])

Their banter humorously addresses the extreme mess in their home, illustrating their comedic chemistry and ability to find humor in unpleasant situations.

4. Unexpected Guests: An Encounter with an Uber Celebrity [06:10 – 16:34]

Enya and Drew recount a bizarre encounter with a celebrity who unexpectedly sought accommodation at their home.

• Enya: “We're not gonna name this person, but just know they're an uber celebrity.” ([07:03])
• Drew: “It was so funny because... we... were giggling like little kids.” ([10:13])

The story unfolds with the celebrity arriving late at night, leading to sleepless antics and playful trolling by Enya and Drew. Their reactions range from initial panic to uncontrollable laughter as they interact with the unexpected guest.

5. Airbnb Horror Stories [16:34 – 38:55]

This segment delves into their most harrowing Airbnb experiences, marked by infestations and poor host management.

a. Flea Infestation in Los Angeles Airbnb [16:34 – 22:53]

Enya and Drew describe their stay in a Los Angeles Airbnb plagued by fleas, leading to a nightmarish stay.

• Enya: “I look at the carpet and I start getting bitten alive on my legs.” ([18:07])
• Drew: “We were freaking out… and we have white socks on and we look down at our feet and our socks are basically black covered in fleas.” ([18:39])

Their meticulous inspection revealed a severe flea infestation, triggering fears of Lyme disease and prompting frantic efforts to clean the property. Despite contacting the Airbnb host, they were denied a refund, culminating in the host leaving a scathing review.

• Enya: “I had a picture of the rat all over my goddamn shirt...” ([26:11])

b. Rat-Infested Garage Airbnb and Bad Reviews [22:53 – 38:55]

Continuing their Airbnb woes, Enya shares another experience involving a rat-infested garage apartment.

• Enya: “I left half of an avocado on the counter because I just put the shirt down and that was not there.” ([20:10])
• Drew: “The Airbnb host was like, no, I'm not giving you a refund.” ([22:31])

They battled not only the presence of pests but also uncooperative hosts. Enya recounts receiving a derogatory review after finding rat feces and avian disturbances, highlighting the emotional and financial toll of such stays.

• Drew: “My response? You had a fucking rat. Asshole.” ([32:34])

Their frustration with Airbnb’s resolution process and the impact of negative reviews on their profiles underscores the difficulties faced by guests in such situations.

c. Additional Airbnb Misadventures [29:00 – 38:55]

Enya and Drew touch upon other Airbnb issues, including misleading listings and broken property promises.

• Enya: “The photos make it look really nice, but then when you get inside, you realize, oh, this is actually just a man's garage.” ([28:20])
• Drew: “They make light bulbs that radiate. But yeah.” ([48:33])

Their stories emphasize the disparity between advertised amenities and actual conditions, reinforcing their skepticism towards Airbnb listings.

6. Media and Personal Anecdotes [38:55 – 54:31]

Moving away from Airbnb tales, Enya and Drew share various personal stories, media recommendations, and humorous occurrences during their travels.

• Enya: “We got the worst pizza of all time because we spent all of our money on this weed.” ([44:05])
• Drew: “I have to watch the Sopranos. That's what I'm gonna download an episode to watch on the plane.” ([50:46])

They discuss their musical preferences, experiences getting high, and miscommunications during heightened states, adding depth to their comedic narrative.

7. Conclusion and Final Thoughts [54:03 – 54:31]

The episode wraps up with final remarks on media preferences and upcoming plans.

• Enya: “Peace and love. Bye.” ([54:03])

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Notable Quotes:

• Enya on MILF Manor: “It's really fucking weird. But it is so addicting to watch.” ([03:05])
• Drew on Flea Infestation: “We were freaking out… and we have white socks on and we look down at our feet and our socks are basically black covered in fleas.” ([18:39])
• Enya on Bad Reviews: “I had a picture of the rat all over my goddamn shirt...” ([26:11])
• Drew on Host Negativity: “My response? You had a fucking rat. Asshole.” ([32:34])

Key Takeaways:

• Unreliable Listings: Enya and Drew highlight the disconnect between Airbnb listings and actual property conditions, emphasizing the importance of thorough research before booking.

• Host Accountability: The hosts' lack of responsiveness and unwillingness to address serious issues like infestations demonstrate flaws in Airbnb's host accountability mechanisms.

• Impact of Reviews: Negative reviews, whether deserved or not, can significantly affect guests' ability to book future stays, showcasing the double-edged sword of Airbnb’s review system.

• Humor Amidst Chaos: Despite extreme situations, Enya and Drew maintain a comedic outlook, turning distressing experiences into humorous anecdotes for their audience.

Conclusion:

In this episode of Emergency Intercom, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips provide a candid and humorous exploration of their terrifying yet laughable experiences with Airbnb. From flea infestations to deceptive listings, their stories shed light on the potential pitfalls of using Airbnb, all delivered with their signature comedic flair. Whether you're a seasoned traveler or an occasional guest, their tales serve as both entertainment and cautionary advice for future Airbnb users.

Transcript

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[India]

Oh, my God, we have.

[Drew]

My ovaries hurt so bad right now.

[India]

Mine fucking too. I'm on my goddamn period. I have a flight to Paris in an hour.

[Drew]

If you're on your period, you can't get on a flight. You're not allowed to get on a flight because it's going to stink up the whole cabin.

[India]

The stink. And also, my ovaries will explode from the pressure and, like, the uterine lining will splat against the screen. Like, whatever. We have a flight to Paris because we're so booked and busy and every brand wants to work with us, and it's so lovely and we're so important to the culture that they're putting us in economy on a flight. So it's, like, next to the toilets, literally. And it's just really important to us that, like, we are not even sitting.

[Drew]

Next to each other.

[India]

I know, it's crazy.

[Drew]

We should. When we get there, we should see if we can sit next to each other, because I want to sit next to my bed. Because last time we went to Paris, we didn't sit next to each other. That flight, I sat next to, like, two sisters who I think were, like, German. And I remember I was like, wow, they're, like, literally speaking German, leaving LA to go to Paris, which shouldn't be that shocking because they probably had a layover and I'm just dumb. But I was like, wow, the world is so, like, intersected. Like, they live in L. A, and they're also going to Paris, which is, like, in Europe. So they could literally just, like, go back home if they wanted. Well, we started a show called MILF Manor, and if you do not. If you don't know what that show is, please. This is the second time we. We are going to be recommending media where it's, like, so insane. And I actually don't believe anyone under, like, 21 years of brain function should be watching a show like this. Genuinely, I believe that. I, um. But if you haven't seen it and you don't know what it is. Do not look it up and start watching it, because it is the most insane thing ever. And Discovery Channel. Someone needs to take away all their fun.

[India]

There's a twist to it that don't look up the twist. Literally, just go into it completely raw and watch the first episode. Wait until like a little past halfway and you'll find out really what's going on. And it's the craziest shit ever. It should not exist. It literally is so fucking weird. It's dangerous.

[Drew]

It is tampering with God.

[India]

It's. It's really fucking weird. But it is so addicting to watch. And you can watch all five episodes that are out in the same day because it's brain dead entertainment.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. That's literally what we did. Like, watched all five episodes. There's a new episode out today, and.

[India]

I'm ran outside because it was rain in showers and there was a rainbow.

[Drew]

And we played in the rain and it was gorgeous. So. So basically what we were doing is we were doing the opposite of what God wants us to do, which is watching a show that is literally playing with fire and disgusting, but it is so insane that you have to watch. And then we did exactly what God wanted, which was. It was gorgeous outside. So we went outside and we played around. And Josiah went outside barefoot. And he did not wash his feet.

[India]

No, he didn't. He. He came in and actually watched him because I made fun of him. Because I was like, it's one thing to do this in like, the country or like, yeah, in Iowa, not an inner city, but you are literally running around on glass covered, hepatitis B infected streets. Like, you need to wash your feet. Like, please. And it's disgusting. And he tracked his dirty feet into our house and into the floor of our shower. And it probably got into all my wounds when I. And all my orifices when I bathe.

[Drew]

Sometimes before I take a bath, like, I'll like, wash out the bottom of the tub because I get really scared. Yeah, I'm like, this is scary. If I don't shower before, I'm like.

[India]

I need to do that also, because.

[Drew]

When I shower, I use my feet and I like, rub.

[India]

There's like body hairs and I don't even want to, like, look into what part of the body they came from. Always on the floor of the shower. And I'm so good about washing mine down because I'm like, I don't want people to see my disgusting leg hairs and nasty giant. I have 14 inch pubes. And I just wash them down, like, after it's done.

[Drew]

Oh, I thought it was your hair. That's why, like, usually when I see it, I play with it.

[India]

And I like playing with my pubes.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Yeah, they are very strong.

[India]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

I can't.

[India]

I cannot believe I forgot about this yesterday.

[Drew]

I thought you were going to say it, but I was like, you're being so nice.

[India]

I cleaned the shower drain yesterday because for the second time in, like, two months, like, it clogs so fast, which.

[Drew]

You would think, oh, we just live in an old building. Maybe that's what it is.

[India]

Well, I went in there and I was like, oh, maybe I just need to put DRO down there. No, it was so clogged from the sheer amount of buildup from. From hair in other bodily liquids that we just said in the last episode that we don't like saying the word, but I'm sure you can assume what it is. Not mine. I don't know who the it is. I pulled it out and it was like a clump. It was a lot. It was literally alive. It was like a clump that was this long. And the odor that filled the room was, like, vile. And it was all over my fingers. And I put it in the trash can because I was like, I can't flush this. It's going to get clogged. It was so much. So it's sitting in the trash can in there right now. And it was disgusting.

[Drew]

We're building Biohazard because also my old stinky pads are in there. So we're literally gonna come back to.

[India]

The house, like, being like, no, we're creating a homunculus.

[Drew]

We're creating.

[India]

You know what a homunculus is? It's where dudes put their semen inside of an egg and it creates a little creature. It's like a cryptid. Yeah. And some of them grow.

[Drew]

That's illegal, huh?

[India]

Probably we should try it. But we're creating that with the.

[Drew]

With my pads. My pads.

[India]

And the old Coombe four year old.

[Drew]

That is actually probably the most disgusting thing we've said on this podcast.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Because that, like, actually just made me sick to my fucking stomach.

[India]

Yeah, Sorry. That's just the way it is. But yeah, that's what makes it nasty. Absolutely vile. We live. Our friends that come in and out of this house. Nasty people. Nasty.

[Drew]

They hate us. And then sometimes we have visitors and it's just. Who would have thought?

[India]

Yeah. Last night we had one of the craziest Encounters of our entire life.

[Drew]

I think, genuinely, literally, so funny.

[India]

We're not gonna name this person, but just know they're an uber celebrity. The one of the most famous people you've ever seen met in your life. And they hit up India and was like, yo, I need a place to stay, like, really badly. Like, I need somewhere to stay. And then he was like, okay.

[Drew]

I literally. My first response was like, damn, damn, damn. Yeah, because it was so late. And I was like, I can't make.

[India]

It was 5:40 in the morning.

[Drew]

Yeah. I was like, I can't make these kind of decisions. Like, I live with people. They'll wake up to another person in this house and be like, the did you do last night? Like, where were you? Why is this person here?

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And I was just like, well, but I am an angel. Literally, like, oh, my God. I am a angel sent from God. Like, like, genuinely, I am. So I'm just, like, a really good person.

[India]

You can just, like, like, set grudges aside.

[Drew]

Like, I think, okay, so what I need is somebody to make an edit of me and, like, make it, like, best.

[India]

I'm trauma checking this right now. Are our mics even turn working?

[Drew]

Yeah, they are.

[India]

Okay.

[Drew]

But I got hit up way early, so basically it's like 5am I had said yes to this person coming in, like, crashing for the night, and I was like, oh, well, now what? No one I know is awake. Drew's not awake. Josh isn't here. I don't want this person sleeping in the living room. I want to throw them in Josh's room. So I call Josh first, and I like, josh doesn't sleep, but he just wasn't home. And I call him and I tell him, and he's cracking the fuck up because he cannot believe what's happening. And. And we're just on the phone for like, 20 minutes. And then he was like, does Drew know? And I go, no, because Drew's asleep because it's 5am and he sleeps at fudgeing 8pm because he's actually old.

[India]

And I was getting ready to wake up.

[Drew]

Yeah, I know. Which is also why I didn't feel too bad about, like, waking up. Because I was like, his wake up time is literally in 40 minutes. But I felt really bad doing it because I knew you were going to have trouble falling back asleep.

[India]

It scared the out of me. When you woke me up, I was like, it's like, I know.

[Drew]

You were literally so scared. You were like this. And then I told you and you were like, no, What? No.

[India]

What?

[Drew]

No.

[India]

I could. I really could not believe it. I genuinely thought.

[Drew]

That is so confusing.

[India]

It was really jarring and scary. But then it became the funniest thing I think we've ever experienced in our entire Life at 5:40 in the morning. And basically this person came over. But before they came over, me and India were, like, freaking out. Like, what if, like, blah, blah, blah happens? Like, what if they do this? Like, why is this happening? This is so weird. I can't believe this is happening. Just, like, gossiping about it.

[Drew]

And then it was so funny because. And I was like, stay up. I was like, you need to stay up. And then Drew was like, that would be so weird if I was just awake.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Which is true. But I didn't want to be alone with this.

[India]

You weren't alone because I was awake in my room. Because I was like, I'm going to listen to make sure nothing weird fucking happens. Or, like, any. And I need the tea. Like, I need to be able to tell y' all what goes down. Like, I need this.

[Drew]

Even though we have, like, a huge.

[India]

Part of it there. There are so many layers to this.

[Drew]

I know. There it is. It goes so deep. And I know people are going to be so mad because it is so annoying to tell a story and leave out the main parts of it. But why it's so funny is basically Drew fully. I got Drew so awake before. It took this person, like, almost 40 minutes to get here also. And it took so long that in that time, I got Drew out. Like, Drew was out of bed and walking around in the house with me, and we were cracking up. We were literally, like. I hadn't laughed like that that night in so long because we were giggling like little kids. It was so funny.

[India]

This person gets here. I'm listening to the entire conversation. It's really interesting. It's really weird for me. I can't believe it's going down. It's hilarious. I'm literally in my bed cracking up that this is actually happening and going down in my house right now. And they just come in with their luggage and put it on the floor of Josh's bedroom, get ready for bed. And that's pretty much it.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like a quick encounter for the most part.

[India]

Yeah. Very quick encounter. They, like, knew what they had to do. They knew it was, like a kind of a weird request, and they just got what needed to be done. Done, sleep, and getting ready for bed. But the funniest part about this entire story is India text me, and she's like, can you hear this? What is that?

[Drew]

I heard that, too. Was it a little like, oh, no.

[India]

It's like a piece of.

[Drew]

Oh, no. I. I heard something outside. I thought that's what you hear. I was like, I think it's a dog.

[India]

No, but any attacks means, like, can you hear this? And I'm like, no, I can't really hear anything. And then she plays the caveman scream.

[Drew]

Like, over her my home pod, like, just loud as.

[India]

And you can hear it clear day. Like, it's like. It sounds like it's resonating in my room. And I start dying laughing because, like, the dude that's staying here has no idea that we're doing this. And the reason they left the place they're staying at is because they were horrified of their Airbnb, which we'll get into. Yeah, more horror stories from Airbnb if you'd like. And we just started trolling them, which.

[Drew]

Is so mean, because this person probably just got, like, PTSD out because they basically had a barbarian incident happen to them. And we just ignored that because it was too funny.

[India]

And we started playing horror movies.

[Drew]

Like, we started. I just, like, from, like, basically muffled but very clear, you could hear I.

[India]

Have a video of it. I'm like, this is the funniest thing ever. Let me record this because, like, I can't believe this is so loud. Like, how are you doing that? And then, so she plays this sound.

[Drew]

Which I didn't mean for this one to play. Basically, what was happening on my end is me and Drew are texting, and we're literally sending each other audio messages of us cracking up. Like, I am laughing. Probably the loudest I've laughed in a long time. And I felt really bad because I was like, I hope this person doesn't, like, hear us laughing. And, like, we're like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing for them or whatever.

[India]

Exactly. But I'm laying in bed and I'm sharing a wall with this person. So I'm, like, freaking out, and I'm, like, sobbing real tears down my face. And the picture you sent me of.

[Drew]

You is, like, still the funniest victory I've ever seen in my life.

[India]

I'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud, but, like, I. I've never laughed like this, like, ever in my life. And then Inya plays this sound, and I get a video of it.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, it's this one I knit.

[India]

So basically, play, play, play it. No, wait.

[Drew]

No, no, no.

[India]

Play it again. Play it into the mic. Let me play this sound and I record it and I'm like, what the was that? Was that like a crying baby?

[Drew]

He was like, why did you play that one? We were not supposed to play that one. But what was happening on my end?

[India]

Laughing. I'm scream laughing at this point.

[Drew]

What ended up happening on my end is my phone wasn't connecting to my home pod for some of the sounds, so I was like, I need to find a new one because, like, I want to keep doing this because I don't want this person to fall asleep before we keep.

[India]

Yeah, before we keep so evil.

[Drew]

Because it's like 6am and tired as. And I kept scrolling through them and I accidentally playing that and it literally made me laugh so hard. Wait, the weekend dancing on to our whole house right now and watch it. Did you hear what I just said? That one is not connected. I don't know why I said that, but I was like it. I wish we could. We'll put that video here because this video has been making. The weekend dancing has been making me laugh for days now. I don't know why they're so funny to me, but this one cracked me up when I saw it on TikTok and I was like, damn. Imagine we could like, somehow projector map that into that room. And like, like my dream right now, it's just like that person, like, laying down and then like. Like feeling like light shine through their lids and they wake up and it's just like a big thing of the weekend dancing.

[India]

The worst dance we've ever seen in our life. But, yeah, so we troll this person all night until 6am I stay up really late on accident because I'm basically already awake. Oh, wait, yeah, play that again.

[Drew]

You're like.

[India]

Don'T do it again.

[Drew]

Don't do it again. And I kept doing it.

[India]

Yeah. And then the next morning it's like 11am and they wake up and literally nothing is said about it. We don't say anything about it, and they move on with their life.

[Drew]

Yeah. And they just. They got up and left. They did exactly what they needed to do, which was just like sleep somewhere because it was fucking 5am and I was the only person awake.

[India]

Basically, we're thinking about renting Josh's room out on Airbnb because I think we would be better Airbnb hosts than 98%.

[Drew]

Yes.

[India]

Airbnbs that are on the market right now because for some reason, we attract negativity and violence when it comes to Airbnbs stories. It starts with when we Were first coming to Los Angeles. A buns. A buns and abundance. We get this Airbnb for 10 days.

[Drew]

And it felt like 8 million years.

[India]

Yeah, it felt like 10 years. It was, like, probably the longest I've been away from home. But anyways, we get there, and it's like Airbnb defied the fuck out. Like, gray walls, IKEA furniture, Like, weird paintings that I don't know if they actually exist or it's like an alien is projecting them onto the wall. Like, I do not know where those, like, red bubble paintings come from, but they're all over the walls. And we get there, and we're staying for a couple days, and then Inya realizes she has bites all over her, but she doesn't say anything because she's, like, kind of embarrassed.

[Drew]

Yeah, because I'm like, why do I have little marks on my leg?

[India]

Yeah. And she doesn't really think any. It hasn't really had an interaction before.

[Drew]

I'm really sensitive to, like, dust mites. Like, if a bed, like, has dust in it, I will break out, like, little hives and bites.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

From that. So I was. That's what I thought it was. I was like, oh, that's so embarrassing. My eczema.

[India]

And then I'm sitting on the carpet, and I start getting, like. In the living room, and I start getting bitten alive on my legs, hands, and wrists. And I'm like, okay, this is literally not normal. So I, like, look at the carpet and I'm like, oh, nothing's wrong. And then I keep looking at it, and it starts moving, and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm, like, hallucinating. Like, this is fucking crazy. And then I look a little bit closer and I realize that there's millions and millions of fucking fleas in this carpet. This is 2017, 2016. And I freak the fuck out. I jump up and I'm like, in your. Those bites are from fleas. We have flea bites all over us.

[Drew]

No, no, no. Like, no, there's no way. Like, why would we just have fleas?

[India]

Yeah. And then I start panicking because I'm like, oh, like, we're going to get Lyme disease. My dumb ass thought fleas and Lyme disease at the time were correlated. It's ticks and Lyme disease. And I started spiraling on my phone thinking about Lyme disease. Disease. Inya's going throughout the entire house, like, trying to get to the bottom of this, like, ripping sheets off.

[Drew]

I'm being mama, af, mother.

[India]

Little. Little black dots in the bed. And we're like, okay, evidence of fleas in the bed. Evidence of fleas in the carpet. Well, we move to the backyard where there's an outdoor washer dryer where I.

[Drew]

Was already washing my sheets because again, I thought it was dust mice. I was like, I'll just wash the. She move on with my life. I go into the washer to pull this thing out and it is a white sheet that is borderline black at the corner.

[India]

All black.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was just like covered in fleas. And I drop it and we were like, oh no.

[India]

And they're jumping out.

[Drew]

Like, yeah, they start jumping out onto us and then we're running through the house and we have white socks on and we look down at our feet and our socks are basically black covered in fleas. And we're freaking out. And then I called the Airbnb host. This was. I remember this was the moment where we all realized that I was no longer like an angry child who was crazy. Cuz I remember you made a comment and it actually made me feel so good that day where you were like, I am so shocked you were not screaming your head off and freaking the out and yelling at this man. Cuz I was like so calm and I was like, this just sucks. We got to get it figured out.

[India]

And I felt like a way getting to my sis's heart, like my girl's heart. Like I can make her feel good in ways she can't even describe sexually. I can't satisfy you sexually.

[Drew]

Yeah, I know we're still not there, but one day, hopefully with the right machinery, we can get there with the.

[India]

Jackhammer maybe.

[Drew]

But just reminded me of the. I was like, wait, what the.

[India]

Did you just say it reminds me.

[Drew]

Of the Tik Tok sound? Did I?

[India]

You did not say that at all. You said, sorry, I'm drunk.

[Drew]

I'm really drunk right now. My. But at my. My cramps right now are actually hurting and it's making me think. My body right now is so unused to cramps that my body is convinced I have to.

[India]

Oh my God, our period sink. Cuz I have cramps right now too. I can feel them in my shins.

[Drew]

It's just like you can't let me have anything.

[India]

I know. I can't. I really can't. I have. I. I wish it was. I wish I wasn't this way.

[Drew]

Anyway, it reminded me of the Tick Tock song that was like, I'm gonna need some WD40 and like something else. Like do you know what I'm talking about. It's that streamer. Whatever. You're just, like, not in the loop.

[India]

And you don't induct tape.

[Drew]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But I called, and then, like, you made a good point of this the first time we tried to record this.

[India]

Episode, but actually it was the third time.

[Drew]

Oh, he scammed the out of us. Because what should have happened is that.

[India]

Airbnb taken advantage of because we were young. Yeah, that's really what it was at the time.

[Drew]

That Airbnb for us was so expensive. Like, that was. I remember. I remember us booking that Airbnb and being like, well, like, we can't go.

[India]

Shop at Round Two now because we spent all of our money here.

[Drew]

Yeah. Literally. And it was like, well, we're just like. That's our thing. We're going there to do that. And then we're gonna, like, eat French fries for dinner every day to survive French fries and alcohol. But he moved us. It was like a duplex. I remember, remember, at first, he moved us into the side unit, and we were like, there's still fleas in here. Because that place was covered in fleas, too. It was a full flea infestation, like, the entire house, even though humans hadn't been in there the whole time we were there. And then he just got us to pack our bags, pay for our own Uber, to another location, to another Airbnb that sucked balls of his. And we just went and we just stayed. We just stayed and we didn't say anything. We were like, yeah, this is just it. And then I think, like, we ended up moving back to the other one, like, because he got somehow. Oh, he got it cleaned and, like, got it sprayed down, and there were no more fleas.

[India]

So then he tried to lie to us and say, oh, there weren't fleas anywhere. And we were like, no, look at these photos we have of the fleas.

[Drew]

Yeah. He was like, oh, it wasn't even in Infestation. It was just, like, a few little. Like.

[India]

I was like, no, look at our ankles and wrists.

[Drew]

I know. We're literally covered in bites. You feel good.

[India]

I just have, like. Sometimes, like, a word reverberates in my head over and over again, and if I don't say it out loud or if I don't mimic something someone else is saying, it will ruin me. It'll melt, dude.

[Drew]

I know that for, like, repeating what someone says to me, and it's so bad. Like, like, why do I have the biggest urge when someone says something that I think is funny just repeating it back to them or just like anytime they say something and I have nothing else to say, I just want to.

[India]

If I don't get it out of my head, it feels like my brain is going to melt.

[Drew]

Also, Drew pointed out that we only speak in hype. What is it? What is it? How did you phrase it? When we were at the store and I was like, what would you do if I'd blah, blah, blah right now?

[India]

I don't know. We only speak in.

[Drew]

You were like, we. We only speak in, like hypotheticals and like, really fictional hypotheticals to each other. When we're out in public and we're like running errands, all we do is.

[India]

What if I did this?

[Drew]

What if I hit you right now?

[India]

Yeah. We don't actually ever communicate when we're in public because we're in like a constant state of bit where we're always trying to troll the people around us to, like, give them a story to tell.

[Drew]

And that woman that day who we were doing that in front of, have had no reaction to the way we were acting and talking.

[India]

Also the bystander effect.

[Drew]

No, literally, like, we were genuinely fighting and she said nothing to us, which she could probably. I mean, we were in there for like 30 minutes, so she probably saw us being normal and she's like, I'm not letting these kids.

[India]

I'm not letting these kids troll me.

[Drew]

But the other Airbnb.

[India]

I'm not letting you 16 year olds troll me.

[Drew]

I'm not 16. I'm 24.

[India]

I'm 16.

[Drew]

You.

[India]

Why are you hanging out with a 24? Why are you hanging out with a 16 year old?

[Drew]

Because you're my son. I raised you well.

[India]

All these is my sons.

[Drew]

You're turning 17 soon. How do you feel about that?

[India]

Honestly? Really good. One step closer to being able to buy cigarettes. Too bad puff bars are banned. But the craziest thing that has ever literally ever happened to me happened to me yesterday.

[Drew]

I don't know how crazy it could be because everything that happens to you is the craziest thing that's ever happened. Everything that happens. Action is either the worst thing that's ever happened to him, the craziest thing that's ever happened to him, or the greatest thing that's ever happened to him.

[India]

And it is. It simply is. Okay, so, yeah, I go to the front door. You heard me talking to this man for like an hour, right? Not an hour, five minutes.

[Drew]

When you came back with, no, no.

[India]

I went down to the door. I Spoke with him for 15 minutes. It was yesterday. And do you want to know what he said to me?

[Drew]

What?

[India]

He said? It was. I. It sounds like I'm making this up, but he looked at me and he was like, yo, like, if you. If you show me your balls, I'll give you a puff bar. Apparently, he had known that I quit. I don't know how he knew I quit, but I said no.

[Drew]

Yeah, but. And you were good, though. You were like, 10 days, like, he went, like, 10 days without a puff bar, which is, like, good.

[India]

No, I am.

[Drew]

You're on day, like, 13.

[India]

I still am.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

So I was just like. You said no, obviously.

[Drew]

Yeah. Okay. But you came back upstairs with no shirt on, so did he just like.

[India]

Well, I was getting my water bottle from Mason at the same time.

[Drew]

Oh, okay. That's just suspicious that you were down there for so long and you didn't show him your balls and you had no shirt when you came back up, like, yeah, okay, but you didn't show him your balls.

[India]

No.

[Drew]

Still no puff bar. Okay. I'm. I'm proud of you.

[India]

Yeah. I haven't puffed in 15 days.

[Drew]

And you. And you. And you kept your pride because you kept your balls in your pants for once. So that makes me happy, which is.

[India]

Honestly really hard for me.

[Drew]

Yeah, I know. Sometimes they just, like, fall out. Yeah, well, I'm proud of you and your self control, because that actually takes a lot. So I am really proud of you. Should I say the other Airbnb story that got me, like, the worst review that actually made me. This is the thing.

[India]

The one with rats?

[Drew]

Yes.

[India]

The garage.

[Drew]

Yes. I booked this Airbnb because I was like, this is cute. Like, I actually want to look at pictures because that's what I did last time is like the other one. I was like, oh, I remember these Airbnbs being super nice and being like, oh, my God, yes, this is everything. And then being like later on the. Where'd you get that? They don't sell the. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You were disgusting.

[India]

It's not cheating. He just looked at them and played with them a little bit.

[Drew]

He'd even asked to play with them. And you let him play with them. Oh, no. Done. I can't with you anymore. I'm done.

[India]

Oh, so when I cheat, it's a problem, but when you don't cheat, it's not a problem.

[Drew]

Do you hear yourself? Also, you think I don't cheat? I don't get caught. I cheat. See, when the tables turn, now it's a big deal. Do you just spit? Did it squirt in your mouth? It's squirting on you. So this other Airbnb was in a garage, and I was like, oh, this is cool. This is retro. This is retro af. Like, wow. So cool that he did this. Wait, I wonder where it is. October.

[India]

October.

[Drew]

October. Dude. Looking back at the Airbnbs, we've stayed in these. Airbnbs are gross.

[India]

And we thought it was, like, ultra luxe.

[Drew]

Yeah. We were like, this is.

[India]

We're living the best life, dude.

[Drew]

This is it. The photos make it look better than it. It was like, the photos, so chic.

[India]

It's actually really nice to this day.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, the photos make it look really nice, but then when you get inside, you realize, oh, this is actually just a man's garage.

[India]

It's a shot.

[Drew]

Like, it's literally. This is up. Yeah, Like, I did s here. Yeah, like, I made s happen here. Like, that's. But, like, that is the magic.

[India]

Slept on the floor in the other room.

[Drew]

In a sleeping day, you slept out of sleeping bag.

[India]

I slept in a sleeping bag with rats running all around this.

[Drew]

And we knew there were rats because, again. Oh, your snooping skills kicked in. And Drew was snooping around. He was like, there's a rat trap up here. And I think it was you, me, and Emma hanging out that day. And we were like, there's a rat trap. And we were all looking. We were like, there's. There is a rat trap. Like, what the. But we didn't think anything of it because I was like, I got. I got a few little buddies at home. Like, that's not the biggest deal ever. Because I would assume it was just precautionary. No, there was fully a fucking rat in that Airbnb. Because what ended up happening is Drew ended up leaving because he was there for a shorter time than me because I had business to take care of that was very important for me at the time. Sex. Yeah, I had lots of sex. There was lots of sex to be had for me in this. This beautiful city. And I was there for longer. And I had got. Just gotten this gorgeous vintage torch shirt. Now it's vintage. At the time, it was only, like, 4 or 5 years old, but it was a Lil Wayne Drake merch T shirt from when they went on. When they went on tour together. And I had. I had it laid across, like, the makeshift kitchen table counter they had. And at the time, that's when I was, like, vegetarian, I think, And I was like, Obsessed with just grabbing, like, cheese crackers and avocados. And I would literally, like, scoop out avocado and, like, chomp and eat avocado. And I left half of an avocado on the counter because I was like, I'm gonna eat that later. But then something happens where I just had to leave the house. I was like, oh, my God. Got ready quick, ran out.

[India]

Always leave half avocados out. Or do you just forget about.

[Drew]

No, I leave them out because I don't like putting them in the fridge for some reason. Like, I don't know why. I think it dries it out. And like, that's. My family does that. Like, my family, like, leaves out, like, they don't refrigerate cut onions and, like, avocados and stuff. They leave it, like, in the fruit basket at home. So I think I just do that because they did that. And I was like, this is the way of life.

[India]

Yeah, just oxidize it a little bit.

[Drew]

Yeah. Also, like, I don't like cold avocado. Like, when I'm eating, like, I. It's like, too much for my teeth. Like, and I'd rather have, like, a room temperature tomato, too. Like, I hate having tomatoes in the fridge because when you go to eat it, I'm like, this is so cold. For what? Like, you don't go to a restaurant and eat a cold tomato on a bagel. Like, the tomato is never cold. It's room temperature. But that aside, I. When I came back, I'm like on my phone, I look up and the avocado is bitten the up. And I was like, I know I didn't do that. And there was rat poop and avocado turds all over this Drake and Lil Wayne shirt. And I was just looking at it, I was like, that is fresh because I was just here and I just put the shirt down and that was not there. The rat came, ate my avocado and all over my new shirt, and I just freaked the out. I was like, no, I am not staying here. I had friends at the time. So I was like, I'm not even gonna say anything. I'm just gonna, like, contact Airbnb and then not say anything to the host. I contacted Airbnb and they were like, we can't do anything about it. You need to talk to the host and, like, get a refund from them. And con basically telling me I needed to convince the Airbnb host to give me a refund. And then the Airbnb host was like, no, I'm not giving you a refund. Like, I don't have rats. Even though I had a picture of the rat all over my goddamn shirt and his rat traps, and he just wouldn't give me a refund. The Airbnb just, like, stayed empty until. And I left my shirt there because I was like, I don't want my shirt now. It's literally covered in rat piss and shit. I'm not going to take that shirt anymore. And then he left me the nastiest review. He was like, she was so fudgeing, dirty and disrespectful, blah, blah, blah. And I didn't know that your replies on Airbnb to the host are public. And I said, wait, I want to look up my exact words.

[India]

And while you're finding that I. One thing about me is I'm a snooper. Like, do not let me into your space, because I will learn everything I need to know about you by looking through your. Because, like, I can. If you have a junk drawer versus if you don't. I can tell the type of person you are. I can tell by what's inside the junk drawer the type of person you are. I can look at your pills and vitamins and your prescriptions and know the type of person you are and what you get up to in your activities, your mental state. Like, I can learn so much through snooping. I can find your tax documents and go through those. Like, don't let me into your space, because any Airbnb I've ever been in, I have ripped to shreds and gone through everything to find anything about this.

[Drew]

Person, which is good, because it's like, I need to know if the killer lives here. What if the killer owns.

[India]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Drew]

But so also, I'll read his review. And then my review, bitch, I'm gonna hit him. I'm gonna find him and hit him. So to the beginning of his review, he leaves a note about how I had a bad review before him, and the bad review before him was this fucking bitch who I stayed there with, somebody I was seeing at the time. I didn't know anyone in LA at that time, so I wasn't having fucking parties or anything. And in her review, in her thing, she was like, don't have parties. And we were like, cool. We don't have parties. Whatever. She claimed we had a party because we had red solo cups in the garbage can. And she had messaged me and she was like, you threw a party? And I was like, what? And then she was like, well, when I was Going to take out the garbage. I saw a bunch of red Solo cups, and you left a bunch of new ones there. And I was like, I left the new ones there just in case you wanted to, like, keep them, because I didn't want to throw them out. But I didn't throw a party. I just didn't want to have to wash by alcohol. Yeah, I literally. I'm a child. I don't drink. But I was like, I just didn't want to wash dishes because Airbnbs are scams that make you do chores. And why the would I want to wash dishes at an Airbnb? And I was like, no, we just get red solo cups. I don't know. Just out of habit. Like, that's just the cup we got. And she was like, no, no, no, you had a party. Because I also saw two bottles of, like, wine or something, and I was like, I was staying there with someone for like a week and a half. That's not that crazy. And we just got into an argument. And then she was like, it was so fucking dirty. She went against the house rules. I always say parties are not allowed. And I'm sure she did throw a party in my apartment. I fucking didn't, bitch. I went and watched Call me by your name and cried for three days. That's what I did in that apartment. So this is the review from the other person. And it was very messy and uncommunicative. As a guest, I had read a review stating that she left an Airbnb unit in a super messy state and asked her about it. Before I accepted her reservation, she assured me it was a weird set of circumstances and that I had nothing to worry about because it was. I also sent him fucking DMS with the bitch. That's why he let me stay there, because I was like, look at the dms. She was just mad that I used red solo cups, convinced I had a party. I'm pretty sure I sent him pictures of what I was doing in the Airbnb. And I was like, I didn't do anything. I don't know anybody here. Why would I throw a party? I'm also, like, 18. Like, I'm a girl. And he was like, I figured everybody deserves a second chance and gave her the benefit of the doubt. She left garbage and personal items everywhere. Moved things all over the unit and didn't put them back. What things was I moving? Bitch, I didn't put your chair in the fucking front yard. What are you talking about? She didn't follow a single rule or A single one of my checkout instructions. Even when I gave her a late checkout as a courtesy, I wasn't there there. I literally wasn't there. She was also extremely uncommunicative. Didn't reply to most of my messages or let me know when she would be leaving or arriving. I would not have any of that. My response? You had a fucking rat. Asshole. That's what I said. Didn't realize. Didn't realize I was on the front of my thing. And then I couldn't get an Airbnb until 2022. Yeah, that was the next time I was able to be accepted for an Airbnb because up my review and you.

[India]

Know, Ryan, are the only ones that plan getaways with our friends because we're the only ones that have drive and ambition. So me and Orion had to book the Airbnb's on our accounts for years between there because. And you couldn't.

[Drew]

Yeah, I literally. Anybody I went on a trip with, I'd be like, yeah, let's split it. But I can't put it on my card or my name because Airbnb will detect me and not let me sit.

[India]

You know what's crazy is I booked an Airbnb in New York for all of our friends because we were like, oh, let's go to New York together. It was me and a few friends in India. And then I got Covid. It was the year Playboy cardi dropped. Whole lot of red. And it was right after Christmas. And I was like, oh, that's gonna be so cute. Got Covid. Couldn't go. Everybody went to the Airbnb and stayed there. But I got a horrific review on my account because someone dyed their hair in my Airbnb on my account in stained the pillows, the bed, the towels, everything, and turned them bright red. And I did feel bad for this lady and I did have to pay out of my pocket for her to replace all these things, but I wasn't even there. And I got the bad review on my account, which is so evil. And I had to take the.

[Drew]

You had to take that blow. You had to take it and you took it like a champ. I remember there was an Airbnb I used to stay in a lot when I came to la, and it was like my favorite place to stay. And I became like, not friends, but kind of acquainted with the woman who owned the Airbnb. Oh, my God. This one, Drew.

[India]

Oh, my God. Why is that there? Is this the one?

[Drew]

This is the one. Which we should. I'll start that story later.

[India]

Well, we'll talk about it in a different episode, because we talked a lot about POD or Airbnbs.

[Drew]

Well, this one's more of, like, a funny, high story than anything. Yeah. But, yeah, I became friends with her, and that was the era where I was dyeing my hair a lot and I had stained a towel. And she was really nice about it. She was like, hey, like, I love having you as a guest. I think, actually this might have been the first time I stayed there, and she was still nice to me about it. She was like, hey, one of the. I think I might have let her know. I was like, hey, just to let you know, I didn't realize this would happen, but one of your towels stained because I have red hair right now. I can pay it back. And she was like, don't even. She was like, don't worry about it. Like, I'll just replace it. This kind of stuff happens all the time. Like, it's not that big of a deal. I'm like, yes. That's not hotel etiquette, where it's like, yes, I did spend so much fucking money. You can afford a $10 fucking towel off Amazon because no Airbnb even carries good things.

[India]

Also, the morality of owning an Airbnb is kind of twisted if you don't actively live in it. But that's also a whole other conversation because they are never.

[Drew]

They're such a. There's literally. Yeah.

[India]

The morality of it all.

[Drew]

Like, there shouldn't be 8 million Airbnbs in Miami right now and making it literally impossible for someone like my family to get, like, an actual home.

[India]

Like, exactly.

[Drew]

What's. What's up with that? Do you feel good about that? You're literally landlord.

[India]

Like, $2,000 a month. Really worth keeping a family houseless. But whatever. That's to you.

[Drew]

That's up to you. That's up to you to decide, you freak. There's no way anybody who watches this owns an Airbnb. But if you. Like, I'm sorry.

[India]

Like, don't think about it. Don't fault me when I start my Airbnb landlord arc. I've been saying that, and then I'm gonna get really religious, and then I'm gonna escape the Matrix. I saw someone kind of dissect the Andrew Tate, like, escaping the Matrix and all, like, his weird, creepy followers that are like, I'm finally escaping the Matrix. And it's them flaunting, like, having, like, supercars and. And staying in nice hotels and having a bunch of.

[Drew]

Bro, you are Locked in the Matrix.

[India]

You know what they're not realizing the Matrix is, is capitalism. And that they like before they escape the Matrix, like being in the Matrix is just like being like another cog in the machine. And then escaping the Matrix is like them having enough wealth where they don't have to play the rat race game. Capitalism and that we're all on the same team. It's just these people are stupid and decide to follow this dumbass. But another conversation for another time, that's something else.

[Drew]

I do think we should say the high school because it is so funny.

[India]

Because when you framed it like that, it's really funny.

[Drew]

So last story of the episode. Get your blanket wrap up.

[India]

I'm surprised we were able to get this much time.

[Drew]

I know, like it was really hard.

[India]

We're gonna start doing 45 minute episodes by the way.

[Drew]

Just keep that in mind because I feel like nobody gives a to listen to us for an hour anymore because you all hate us. But, but so to preface, we were staying with some friends who were going to like Anime Con and this wasn't a thought that like past our brain. We didn't think anything of it. We were like cool, yeah, we're down for that. And this was one of our last nights. And me, you and our friend at the time were like, we need to get high. We haven't gotten high this whole trip because you had to be 21. You have to be 21 to get any edibles or weed. And like we didn't know anybody to buy weed from in la. So we were like we need to get high. So we literally went. Do you remember the trek? It was to get that weed. We went and hung out with like we were maniacs. We went and hung out with like five different groups of people praying one.

[India]

Of them to get hooked up would.

[Drew]

Or because like I think at the time like you could already order it.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So we were literally going around praying somebody would pray somebody would order us weed. And finally we came across some good hearted people.

[India]

Who was it?

[Drew]

It was. I can't remember her name. I know her face. She was, she was like one of Alexa's friends, like one of Alexis close friends. And I can't remember her face for some reason I can't remember her name but I know her face. Like her face, she has such a distinct face. It's like actually kind of like scary. Not in a bad way. Like she's a gorgeous girl but like like the most face face person I could think of. Yeah, I don't Know how to describe it, but I remember, but remember we literally sat out by the pool with her for like an hour and a half waiting for this weed. Like so, like literally.

[India]

Also there was like a thing at the time where like you had to order a certain amount of weed and it was like 100 bucks minimum plus delivery fees. So we scrounged up the little bit of money we had left to buy $130 worth of weed and we left on day.

[Drew]

It was literally we like, we. What we could have done with that money is go to a nice dinner for our last night there. But we ended up getting the worst pizza of all time because we spent all of our box because we spent all of our money on this weed. Also, you know, I just remembered this was when all the viners and everybody was living at the W. So that's where we were because we had friends who lived there at the time.

[India]

Time.

[Drew]

So that's where we were.

[India]

We went, we went to Bryce Hall's house to see if he could get us.

[Drew]

Yeah, to see if he would buy us. No, I think that's literally who it was because the girl I'm thinking of at the time was I think Bryce's assistant or something. She was friends with all those people. So we were literally in Bryce's like apartment complex at one point. Literally like looking around, being like.

[India]

And standing all. And seeing like a bunch of just like viners pass by us and be like, oh, that's who that is. It was literally so weird. It was like, like a college dorm room for like viners and tick tockers and you knowers and musers and all this. Yeah, not tick tocker.

[Drew]

Yeah, musically, but whatever. We literally wait around forever and by the time we get this weed like we're all like, like tapped out. I think we like, we got it so late. Like I remember it was so like because our flight was super early, we.

[India]

Had already packed all of our bags like in the meantime, like, like whatever. So we eventually get this weed deliver. It's the most weed I've ever seen in my entire life. Like it's joints, it's edibles, it's edible drinks.

[Drew]

We got like gold joints, like gold wrapped joints.

[India]

We got like the craziest weed we could buy because we needed to fill out that 100 thing. But we didn't want a super big surplus. But somehow we still ended up with so much weed and we just proceed to get absolutely obliterated. Obliterated. Obliterated. Faded, then a hoe. Faded. Then A hoe faded, then a hoe.

[Drew]

Like, blackout so high that I don't remember. I, like, I know we had to have been watching something, and I remember our TV on, but I don't. I don't even remember what we were watching. Yeah, I don't remember what the. We were talking.

[India]

I remember we. After we ate that pizza, we proceeded to stab the pizza box a thousand times.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because we had a knife close. And, like, one of us just did it. And we were like, dude, this feels so good. Like, doing this feels so good. Because it was me.

[India]

It was me that was like, dude, y' all need to feel this.

[Drew]

Like, and it did. Because, like, stabbing cardboard is fun, but we looked insane. We were just all on the floor high as, like, stabbing this box. So we're just hanging out. Then our friend, who we're staying with, comes back, and we didn't know they were going to be coming back with a friend, and they just came from Anime Con. So in our high brains, what we thought was happening was we were being introduced to somebody with, like, short hair and a mustache. And then our friend, and we were like, oh, hey, what's up? And, like, like, we all, like, shake hands, and we're just like, whatever. And they're eating in and out, and.

[India]

Like, we, like, stinkiest in and out I've ever smelled.

[Drew]

It's felt so bad. And we keep looking back at, like, the one friend because, like, we were so high that their figure was, like, disoriented.

[India]

At least something was off. Something was.

[Drew]

Something about them was, like, a little off.

[India]

And we were, like, energy, and, like, we're all on the couch, like, turning around, like, looking, like, at the same time, like, in unison. And it's, like, very obvious, like, we're not.

[Drew]

Like, nothing else was on the TV anymore. We were sitting and, like, whispering, and we were, like, we whispering and laughing.

[India]

Our asses off after looking at this.

[Drew]

Literally. Who the is that? Like, what is that outfit? Like, we literally. Because, mind you, we had fully forgotten they came from anime.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So in our head, we were like, this person is dressed the craziest I've ever seen somebody on, like, a Thursday night dressed in my life. And we were just like, who is this? Like, why are they. Like, they don't even sound the way they look. Like, we were, like, we were so confused, and we were crying up. And then this person.

[India]

This is the craziest part of the story. This is the craziest part of the story. So this person walks in front of us, and we all follow them like this to the bathroom. And they like announce that they're going to the bathroom. And they start like. They spent, like a really long time for 30 minutes. It felt like 30, 40 minutes. And we were like, what the.

[Drew]

Realistically now, knowing what they were doing, they fully were in there for that long. Yeah, but because we were so. I was really like, dude, they're literally gonna kill us. Like, who is in the bathroom? And our friend who was with them was just silent. Like, I don't even think, like, they realized that we were sitting and freaking out about the friend they brought. And we didn't want to say anything because we were like, that's so rude.

[India]

But, like, exactly.

[Drew]

They were gonna kill us.

[India]

Exactly. So then this person, after 45 minutes, comes out of this bathroom and is completely different. Like, long hair, long hair, colored hair. Like, like new outfit, like, everything in it. No mustache, no mustache, no makeup on.

[Drew]

We were like, what the is.

[India]

We freaked the out. And we were like, did this person just go into our bathroom and, like, come out a different person? Like, what is going on? We were like, black out high and, like, we were dying. And then we started greening out.

[Drew]

I know. We were like, oh, my God, like, what the. Like, that person never exists. Existed. We made them up. Like, what? How did they look like? We all saw that. They looked so different. And then our friend went into the bathroom also. The friend is Michael. Our friend who we were with goes into the bathroom and comes out and he's like, dude, her mustache is like the mustaches on a towel. We were like, hey. We were like, like this went in there and shaved their mustache off.

[India]

Mustache off. And put it back together on the towel. It was this funniest thing I have ever seen.

[Drew]

Like, and then I. It wasn't until the next day that we were like, dude, they were cosplaying. Like, they were literally in full blown cosplay. We just, like, didn't realize it, but we could. We were so greened out. Yeah, that was so. We literally. We were like, dude, they wiped off their mustache. Like, sure, mustache is just on the floor. And that was our. That is so funny. That was like, equivalent to as funny as me thinking that I was burning alive when I. When I was high for the first time under the heated lamps. I didn't know that there was our.

[India]

First, like, bonding moment.

[Drew]

Yeah, I didn't know that there were light bulbs that got hot. I've said this before, but I'll just say for anybody who doesn't know the first Time I got high was in, like, Colorado during the winter, and it was like, me and Drew got high. It was the best time ever. And then I went back to my room to go shower, and I was like, like, butt naked, nasty. Brushing my teeth with the shower on, and I'm, like, sitting there, brushing my teeth, standing there, and I'm like, dude, the back of my neck is burning. Like, I'm. I'm, like, literally on fire. Like, I think I'm melting. I need to get in the shower. Just, like, lay down. Like, it's so hot in here. I think because of the warm shower. Whatever. I get in the shower, I'm still burning. I, like, my body feels like it's literally having, like, insane lasers pointed at it, and I'm melting away. And then I get in the shower, and I'm covered in soap, and I'm like, oh, my God, I think I'm going to die. Like, I am actually burning to death. Death. What the is happening? And I was so paranoid that I got out covered in soap and just laid butt naked on the bed and, like, knocked out because I was so scared. And then the next morning, when I was walking around, I was like, the lamps. The. The bulbs are hot. Like, because I. In the morning, I was like, dude, I'm still burning in here. And I realized, oh, they make light bulbs that radiate. But, yeah.

[India]

What did we throw on the. Oh, we were playing with pads.

[Drew]

Yeah, we were playing with pads and tampons.

[India]

So that's the podcast that we tried to record three times.

[Drew]

And I'm so happy that we were able.

[India]

I know. And give you a product that was actually not bad and pretty funny. But now for some media sanctuary by arca. I'm just in honor of ARCA missing the ARCA concert.

[Drew]

I know we missed the ARCA concert last night. Well, by the time this comes out, it's like a week ago. But we couldn't get go because we had. We had to, like, just change our life around to go to Paris.

[India]

Femme by ARCA and your jerk new boys. And after. After, after the. After cfcf. And then what did I watch? Watch MILF Manor. Now you look awful.

[Drew]

Okay. Yeah, I'm never gonna smile again.

[India]

Thank God you have an ugly smile.

[Drew]

Wow. Well, my media is. Oh, I need to watch the Sopranos. That's what I'm gonna download an episode to watch on the plane. But we won't have time because we literally have to call an Uber in 15 minutes, which is crazy. My media of the week Is popping my collar by 36 mafia. I am trying to break your heart by Wilco. Real Love Baby by Father John. Misty Fluffy Tufts by Cock2 twins. Where did our love go? The Supremes and did you hear me?

[India]

Terrible.

[Drew]

Wow. And how could I forget? I'm starting my summer playlist. Favorite by Nicki Minaj Cockiness and love song by Rihanna Drinking my cup. Kurko bangs Bodies. Jasmine Sullivan. One thing a Mary. I. I don't know how to say her name. And I'm sorry. And that's the start of my summer playlist. Right now I have a few other songs, but I'm really trying to think because right now, now, for the most part, that whole playlist is like throwback to being in high school and middle school. Other than Bodies by Jasmine Sullivan because that's a new song. But that song is just so good. And her. Her live performance of it like that she did. I forgot on what. It's not tiny desk, but it's like one of those things.

[India]

Tiny Meat Gang. Her. Jasmine Sullivan's performance on Tiny Meat Gang.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Wow. I didn't think they could get her, but they did.

[India]

Huh?

[Drew]

Wow. Wow, wow. But yeah, that's my media of the week and Milk Manor, because I'm gonna be watching the new episode tonight and yeah, thank you guys so much.

[India]

Is fun this year.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we have to catch up on that too.

[India]

Sugar and Spice honestly were sleepers and I was terrified for them, but they turned out to be amazing. And I think they were handed a short end of the stick because they're new drag queens queens, new age drag queens. And they just don't have the. The respect yet from every other job.

[Drew]

They definitely need to, like, step into the scene a little more. But I think that's with a lot of just, like, people in creative scenes all across the board because people seem to forget that we had three years of complete isolation. So a lot of the new artists in every creative field are not as in depth depth as they used to be. Also, even before that, the Internet changed the way we communicate as people. And like, if you're from the 80s, you can't be mad that nobody is, like, in the streets running amok anymore because, like, that's just not the way life goes. But that's a different conversation. But yeah, I love them so much. I think if they did more shows and, like, really tweaked it up and like, tweaked up their comedic skills too and everything, all those ends because they serve.

[India]

They weren't winners. Like, don't get me wrong, they weren't winners. We all know who's gonna win, win this season. Like, it's not hard to see. We all know the top three of this season. But Sugar and Spice, I just like.

[Drew]

Them as a dude. I like.

[India]

I think they're cute.

[Drew]

I think also a twin duo on Drag Race was like, so cool when they did their lip sync against each other, which, if you haven't watched it.

[India]

The producers were produced.

[Drew]

I know. That was so good. And they made it like a whole little thing for themselves. But yeah, well, we literally have to run because we have get on flight.

[India]

Peace and love. Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.