All cops are bottoms

Summary

Emergency Intercom – "All cops are bottoms"

Date: January 31, 2026
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips (with Kai and guest)
Podcast: Emergency Intercom by iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Enya, Drew, Kai, and guest unpack the bleak state of the world in a signature mix of absurdist humor, personal anecdotes, rapid-fire cultural critique, and unfiltered social commentary. The group sharply riffs on the rise of ICE and government overreach, TikTok's algorithmic changes, queerness and online identity, gainful unemployment through stocks, and their own everyday chaos—from beeping house alarms to neighborhood shower mishaps, social faux pas, and candy addictions.

The hosts also deliver pointed takes on masculinity, performative activism, and why some jobs (cops, billionaires, ICE agents) are metaphorically "bottoms." Despite heavy themes of surveillance, violence, and political fear, the show remains laced with levity, inside jokes, and exchanges that veer from the ridiculous to the deeply poignant.

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Key Discussions & Highlights

1. Morning Mayhem & Neighborhood Anecdotes

• [03:03] Enya and Drew open by mocking Drew's allegedly dramatic morning routine—Enya accuses him of "falling in the shower" amid chaos and construction noise.

  "What were you doing this morning? Because downstairs it sounded like you were falling in the shower every three seconds." – Enya ([03:03])

• Drew shares a voice memo of an elementary school’s new PA system blaring loud at 8:23 am, followed by a neighbor’s alarm blaring for 30 minutes.

Crime, Robberies, and the Value of Stuff

• [04:32] They riff on the logic (or lack thereof) of breaking into homes:

  "Imagine the humiliation of breaking into a home like this and just stumbling upon our empty ass house. Garbage." – Enya & Drew ([05:08])

• Value is subjective; the hosts joke about their “valuable” items being worth nothing except personal sentiment, referencing Beanie Baby mania and resale delusions (and, humorously, Fleshlights).

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2. Misunderstandings, Farmer’s Markets, and Perceptions

• [06:53] Enya describes an awkward encounter with a cheese vendor who projects churchgoing habits onto her friend Rain, and wildly overestimates Enya's wealth:

  "She just always looks so good. She comes here right after church, which I just think is so beautiful." – Cheese Vendor ([07:36])
  "I live with two roommates, but, like, I'm really blessed..." – Enya ([07:42])

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3. Vine Nostalgia and the Rise of TikTok

• [09:00] The group reminisces about Vine stars (notably "Selfie C"), internet bullying, and how certain early creators were mocked for content that's now mainstream.

  "She predicted the entire fucking future." – Drew ([09:41])
  "Selfie C did all that first. And I'm apologizing on behalf of every single person that bullied you. Baby, you. You were the star." – Drew ([10:47])

• They discuss how TikTok’s era might be ending ("getting obliterated" post-sale) and speculate on the future of social media—Kai predicts:

  "2000 and thirties is gonna be...you wake up in a vat of red liquid ... and you power like a search engine or something." – Kai ([11:51])

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4. Stereotypes: Nurses, Pilots, The Kinsey Scale, and Hyper-Self Awareness

• [13:41] Group jokes that male nurses and pilots must be gay, backed up by the infamous Buzzfeed "sexuality quiz" and the Kinsey scale.

  "You have to be gay to be a boy nurse, just like you have to be gay to be a boy pilot." – Drew ([13:45])

• Tangents about quizzes, old internet memes, and anxiety about gendered readings of behavior (e.g., fingernail test).

  "Like, wait, look at your nails. How would you look at your nails?" ([15:19])

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5. Compliments, Intuition, and "The Spark"

• [21:12] Compliment relay: Drew gets praised by a straight friend, which leads to a riff on how fleeting validation and “the spark” can be:

  "Someone recently literally was like, I've seen the spark fade over the last year." – Drew ([21:59])

• Commentary on female intuition:

  "He is the only other person who has basically a female level of intuition. The other person is me." – Kai ([26:17])

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6. Viral Culture: Gay Christian TikToker & Algorithmic Dystopia

• [29:13] Drew recounts following a hyper-Christian, flamboyant TikToker who eventually comes out but receives backlash when his audience evolves.

  "On the new year...he was like, I'm Christian and I'm gay, and I'm looking for a boyfriend. And it shattered everything." – Drew ([29:53])

• The group explores the rabbit hole of ex-gay YouTubers, anti-LGBTQ propaganda, and the radicalization pipeline online:

  "It was just horrifying to see ... like, that have 800 likes, meaning that, like, there's probably gay dudes liking that." – Drew ([33:16])

• Enya on the importance of curating your online space:

  "This is literally my front yard. I'm doing landscaping. There's weeds in the front yard. I'm gonna rip out and make sure they don't come back." ([35:03])

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7. TikTok, Oracle, and ICE – Surveillance Worries

• [36:12] Ongoing observations about TikTok’s interface changing after Oracle’s acquisition.

  "My TikTok feed like in the last like 2 days is completely different ... it just feels soulless now." – Drew ([37:49])

• [39:06] Data privacy anxieties: new TikTok terms and their implications (GPS tracking, AI models, sharing with gov't agencies including ICE).

  "Your sexual orientation, religious beliefs, political opinions, and health diagnoses can now be used." ([43:19])
  "If you're gay, good luck ... you're not getting insurance." ([43:27])

• Feeling helpless under government and corporate control:

  "There's no winning ... We're all expected to just like, like funnel money into like what the government wants..." – Enya ([44:46])

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8. The Bottom Discourse: Billionaires, Cops, and ICE Agents

• [45:13] The group mockingly theorizes that all billionaires, cops, and ICE agents are "bottoms" (i.e., not in control, despite power):

  "All billionaires are bottom. All cops are bottoms. All billionaires are bottoms. All ICE agents are bottoms. No, literally, a bottom of this is." – Drew ([45:16])

• Enya summarizes the root problem as male shame and disconnection, with a deadpan call for suicide among ICE agents (a satirical, dark riff criticizing authoritarian and racist mindsets):

  "Men just have an inherent shame that they cannot get away from. And it just trickles down and hurts literally everybody... joining ICE is not going to give you community... at that point... you should just kill yourself." – Enya ([45:27])
  "I really do think we should bring back how viable of an option suicide is. If you're feeling like all the evils that you're trying to project onto other people, it's not even, like, giving you the satisfaction of being an evil person..." – Enya ([46:17]) "Suicidal ideation is a beautiful thing. If you're an ICE agent..." – Enya ([46:54])

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9. State Violence, ICE, Policing, and Social Breakdown

• [48:01] Discussion of recent police and ICE violence, sanctuaries (Minneapolis, LA, Miami), and tactical shifts in targeting marginalized groups.

  "I feel like they're just really like, proving a point or trying to show that ... the force is bigger than it actually is." – Drew ([51:19])

• Enya and Drew unravel contradictions in right-wing logic (arming for defense, but enabling government violence via ICE), and how whiteness no longer insulates from state brutality:

  "Now a white woman and a white guy have been killed by ice... I never thought I'd see a day where there were right wing people or any kind of people, but white people were down to let one of their own be treated like that." – Enya ([57:07])

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10. Media, PR, and Consumer Culture

• [63:13] Rapid riffs on trends: the PR campaign for kale, "Big Dairy," the protein craze versus fiber, and dietary fads.

  "Protein is headlining Coachella. Why is fiber line 2 or 3 at Coachella?" – Drew ([64:03])

• Candy and corn addictions, gym obsessions, and body image:

  "My husband has a corn addiction, Period. My husband loves going to the gym. He's obsessed with corn." – Enya ([66:34])

Literary Interlude: Reading Practice

• [71:05] Competitive readings from Cookie Mueller's "Walking Through Clear Water in a Pool Painted Black" and references to "The Bell Jar," sparking jokes about their reading proficiency and book recommendations.

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11. Media Recs and Top Songs – The Media Minute

• Everyone shares favorite albums, books, and their top-ten played tracks on Apple Music and Spotify (various timestamps from [73:10] to [78:10]).
• Camila Cabello’s misunderstood album, media PR rollouts, and reflections on how art gets copied.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On the value of their own possessions:
  "Everything I bought that I was like, this is going to be worth something in the future is worth nothing now, mind you." – Enya ([05:39])
• On misusing block/not interested:
  "...me and the block button have always had this dangerously amazing love affair behind closed doors." – Enya ([34:19])
• On bottom discourse:
  "All billionaires are bottoms. All cops are bottoms. All ICE agents are bottoms. No, literally, a bottom of this is." – Drew ([45:16])
• On suicidal ideation (satirical, dark):
  "Suicidal ideation is a beautiful thing. If you're an ICE agent, it's this escape." – Enya ([46:54])
• "Chapel ganger" joke ownership dispute (Drew vs. Kai):
  "Oh, you're his chapel ganger, Kai." – Drew ([62:28])
  "That's not Kai's joke." – Enya ([62:44])

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [03:03] – Shower mishaps and neighborhood chaos.
• [04:32] – The futility of robbing their "garbage" house.
• [09:00] – Revisiting Vine-era internet bullying.
• [13:41] – Gay scientist/kinsey scale jokes.
• [21:12] – Compliment relay – "I've seen the spark fade."
• [26:17] – Male/female intuition and psychic abilities.
• [29:13] – The gay Christian TikTok saga.
• [35:03] – Online spaces as "my front yard"/landscaping analogy.
• [39:06], [43:19] – TikTok data privacy, gov’t collusion, and algorithm changes.
• [45:13] – The great bottom debate (billionaires, cops, ICE agents).
• [48:01] – State violence, ICE tactics, and local responses.
• [71:05] – Reading out loud/book recs.
• [73:10–78:10] – Media recommendations, album and song favorites.

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Tone & Style

The episode balances heavy social critique (state violence, queer suppression, digital dystopia) with camp absurdity, Gen-Z jadedness, and self-aware meta-commentary. The hosts transition seamlessly between comedy, vulnerability, and provocation, echoing their signature “no emergencies, just attention” ethos.

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Takeaway

"All cops are bottoms" distills the modern, online, and IRL anguish of young creatives navigating shame culture, governmental overreach, and hopelessness, all seen through a uniquely sardonic, meme-laden lens. Despite the darkness, the hosts hold onto humor, friendship, and a relentless commitment to call out (and clown) the systems and people who perpetuate harm—a cathartic, chaotic, and timely group therapy session for listeners living through America’s weirdest times.

Transcript

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[C]

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

[A]

What were you doing this morning? Because downstairs it sounded like you were falling in the shower every three seconds.

[C]

And I was falling in the shower.

[A]

No, you were not.

[C]

I've just been hitting my head and falling all day. Like my equilibrium is off or something.

[A]

Are you kidding? Did you actually fall in the shower?

[C]

I have construction going on in the. In the garage right now. Oh, what? See? Let the man handle things.

[A]

Yeah, for real, cuz. I didn't know about all that.

[C]

Kitten, don't worry about it. I got. I got everything figured out.

[A]

Your lips are so glossy right now. It's gorgeous.

[B]

Lip gloss.

[A]

My plaything. I'm Drew's play thing.

[C]

I'm his plaything. Kitten, kitten, kitten. No, but I was also hearing that also. I hope it picked up on voice memo. But listen to what I woke up to this morning. 8:23. This is like a mile away, mind you.

[A]

Oh, is that the school?

[C]

The school, they got a new like speaker and she is loud as fuck. They need to turn this. No, she does not give a fuck. It was literally the loudest thing I've ever heard at 8:23 in the morning. Which, like, I should have.

[A]

She's obliterating the eardrums of all the elementary students who go to that school around the corner.

[C]

Yes. Literally, it was. It was shocking. And then the house next door, their alarm system went off for maybe 30 minutes. And I'm still convinced that someone broke in and they were just like roaming around.

[A]

I don't think they would be taking their time. I unironically. I really don't understand. And this is from somebody who I. I can understand crime. Like I understand robbing someone. I understand the logistics. You know, you flip it, you sell, you make whatever. Breaking into someone's house has always to me been so not worth the house. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know what you have in there. You might have the dumbest. I've been into a lot of people's house. Houses who like don't have worth taking. Imagine the humiliation of breaking into a home like this and just stumbling upon.

[C]

Our empty ass house.

[A]

Garbage.

[C]

Our garbage.

[A]

Garbage filled house. Both in like garbage bag bags, but.

[C]

Mainly just random and also like the like, specifically for our home. Our valuable items, which I use air quotes because they actually don't sustain. They don't sustain. Value is things we brought, bought because we liked them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And like.

[A]

And it really holds no value otherwise.

[C]

Every. Everything I bought that I was like, this is going to be worth something in the future is worth nothing now, mind you.

[A]

I know. I mean, that's like. We kind of got the last remnants of the Beanie Baby mentality and like DNA, literally the trace DNA of the genetics of the BB Beanie Baby, of the Beanie Baby epidemic. Because I literally can make everything I buy seem like something I could one day sell and get my money back and get more. I'm like, I could. I could really spruce this up me with my Fleshlight.

[D]

I'm the same way, but with my Fleshlight.

[C]

Guys, we're doing a show in LA with Netflix as a joke. Tickets are live now. Quite honestly, the show could be sold out already. So I could be promoting a show that's sold out. So I'm sorry if that's the case, but if it's not. Ticket link in bio. Wait. Not us being on Ticketmaster. Wait, it's official. It's official. And it is our Netflix special. We will be uploading. I posted out on my story and the amount of people that were like, holy, y' all have a Netflix special. This is crazy. I was like, can you read?

[A]

No.

[C]

The answer is, I'm gonna let y' all believe that y' all can have that.

[A]

I mean, that's. I was at the farmer's market with Rain, and there's this lady we buy cheese from who me and Rain have met her separately on multiple occasions, and we both have, like, a separate back and forth with her. And yesterday we were there together at this vendor and she looked at Rain and she was introducing Rain and me to, like, the other woman who's working in that booth who I had never seen before. And she's like, oh, my gosh, these are my favorite customers. I'm so happy they're here. She, like, points at Rain and she goes, she always comes here right after church. And she just looks so good. Like, mind you, if you know anything about Rain, Rain dresses to the nines on a daily basis. Like, she does not step out of the house. I've seen her in jeans. Wants, like, she doesn't do that. She is always in heels and some outfit so she's like, saying this, and me and Rain are there, and, like, we're not correcting her because it's just like, okay, we're gonna let you, like, have that, I guess. And she's like, point at me, and then she's like. And this girl, oh, my God, she makes, like, a bajillion dollars just because she's so funny. And I was like, I. Like, I was like, okay, like, I don't. Like, I live a really good life. But, like, to the lady, I was like, I. I live with two roommates. But, like, I'm really blessed. Like, it's like, it was just so weird navigating that. And then she goes back to it, and she's like, oh, my gosh. But, yeah, she's. She just always looks so good. She comes here right after church, which I just think is so beautiful. Like, and she's, like, talking about Rain as if she's, like, a churchgoer. And the lady asked Rain, like, what church she went to, and Rain was just like, I don't go to church. And we just had to watch this woman get so, like, flustered because she was like, no, I swear. I swear. You've been to church. And Rain was like, yeah, I've been to church. But, like, I don't go to church with that.

[C]

I want a church girl that goes to church and read your Bible.

[A]

Is that ice JJ Fish?

[C]

I have no idea. I just know it's a Vine.

[A]

I want a church girl who goes to church. You weren't there because you were too old.

[D]

You were like, I was on Vine.

[A]

You're past all that.

[D]

I was on Vine. I was Vine. Famous for dancing. For dancing, by the way.

[C]

Wait, you started the day also. Wait, remember when, like, everyone, like people, There was a specific, like, girl. I forget her name, but she would lip sync and dance to songs on Vine. Like, that was her whole thing, and she got destroyed for it.

[A]

I know who you're talking about.

[C]

And people were like, yes. Selfie C. She would lip sync selfie.

[A]

Never forget the at text. Baby girl, baby girl, you deserve tick tock. You deserve the world.

[C]

Selfie C did the whole TikTok shit.

[A]

Before selfie C to 40 million followers.

[C]

Yeah, let's make her viral. No, she did all of that shit, and she would get bullied down for it.

[A]

And I was one of the people.

[C]

And I was.

[A]

I'm sure. I'm sure.

[C]

I believe I was. I was in on it behind the scenes. I was like, honestly? Yeah. Like, if you're Going to be on Vine. You have six seconds. Like, prove you're fudgeing funny. Like, this is a funny app. This isn't a dancing and lip syncing app. And then she predicted the entire fucking future. She literally trend predicted literally everything. Like tick tock musically, all of that. She would be. She predated all of it.

[A]

I mean, I will say we can't lest we Forget those, like MacBook edits.

[C]

The lip syncing edits, remember the 4K edits on Vine. It was like they would like process the video through something else and upload Final Cut Pro. Why is it this is so high quality?

[A]

Dude, am I the only one who thinks this is 18 HD?

[C]

Yeah, that's when HD was like, whoa, whoa.

[A]

Not the high definition Mine.

[C]

This looks like my TV. This looks like my plasma screen. Plasma screen TVs.

[A]

Oh my God, bro.

[C]

Baby, baby, baby. But yeah, Selfie C did all that first. And I'm apologizing on behalf of every single person that bullied you. Baby, you. You were the star. You were the first. And you will be getting your flowers here from us. Everyone else, I don't know. But trust and believe. I see you, Selfie C. I mean.

[A]

And let's just say the flowers are not worth much. You're getting your flowers.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh my God. That is amazing. And now, like, I wonder if something is going to replace TikTok. It feels like it's.

[C]

Well right now it's like being fucking obliterated.

[A]

Yeah. Because it got bought.

[C]

It's like bought by fucking Israel, basically.

[A]

Oracle way. I love that.

[C]

Great, great, great, great. Everything is to have everything.

[A]

I like that for them.

[C]

That's cool.

[D]

I know. It replaces TikTok.

[C]

I think like emergency intercom replaces TikTok. Guys, come on over.

[D]

Was it Instagram was like the 2000 and tens. Tick tock is the 2000 and twenties. 2000 and thirties is gonna be. You wake up in a vat of like red liquid. There's cables coming out of your belly button and your spine. And then you are a battery basically. And you power like a search engine or something.

[C]

And then you're a data mining machine.

[D]

Yeah, exactly. Then there's like these robots fly around and they'll like put stuff under your skin and it'll keep you like alive, but just enough to power the battery. Whatever. That's what I think. That's my trend forecast. Also, I was in heated rivalry. Yep. You heard it here first.

[A]

That's not you, that's me.

[C]

That's not you. Baby.

[D]

That's Me. Everyone says that's me. And that's because it is.

[C]

He's fine. He didn't get the recognition he deserved.

[A]

Also, great actor, actually. I really liked him.

[C]

And he's in overcompensating.

[D]

Yeah, he's the nurse.

[C]

I didn't know that until, like, a month and a half.

[A]

Boys could be nurses.

[C]

Well, you have to be gay to be a boy nurse, just like you have to be gay to be a boy pilot. Or Firefly.

[A]

Yeah, they actually make you take a sexuality quiz, but it's a Buzzfeed one, so it's really easy to pass.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

I got the cheat link in my bio.

[C]

The Kinsey Scale. Did you ever take the Kinsey scale? No. What is that? You know what the Kinsey Scale is? Y' all aren't real gay. Like, y' all aren't. Y' all are fake gay. If you don't know what Kinsey Scale is, Like, it's like, the level of gay.

[D]

I know what it is.

[A]

Oh, you know what it is, is I'm just not the kind of person who lets anybody tell me where I land in any realm of this planet. So, like, that's kind of why I don't know what that is. But please enlighten me on what your social faux pas are that you lean into.

[C]

Most humans land at, like, a two or a three on the Kinsey scale.

[A]

Who the fuck is Kenzie?

[C]

Like, he's, like, the scientist that did the Kinsey scale.

[D]

He's the gay scientist?

[C]

Yeah, he's the gay scientist.

[D]

He's the first gay scientist.

[C]

No, like, I don't have, like, much information other than just, like, it's a scale. You take a quiz, but you're not.

[A]

Telling me what the scale is. Like, what the spectrum is.

[C]

It's like one to five, and if you're a five, you're gay. And if you're a zero, you're the straightest person ever.

[D]

Zero to six and you. Zero means you're heterosexual. Six means you're gay as fuck. And Drew place, negative one. He was the first human being.

[C]

I'm six, Evan.

[D]

No, you actually placed negative one. And it was the first person to.

[C]

Be that straight, to be that straight that it literally broke the world.

[D]

Yeah, it worked the world.

[C]

It shook your head sore.

[A]

It broke the world.

[C]

It worked the world. What age were you when you took that last unironically? Probably 18. Like, I'm not even joking. I just had to keep tabs. I just had to know.

[A]

Well, it's like your eyes. You gotta get that checked again.

[C]

Yeah. And then am I gay? Quiz ads that would pop up on everything. And you know that video of that girl walking? And it's like, munchbox, like, Beaver City. And she's like, that was me. Anytime I went on the fucking Internet. Because every targeted ad would be the am I gay? Quiz. The Kinsey scale quiz. Like, everything to do with gay.

[D]

Look at your fingernails really quick. Yeah, that's a six way.

[C]

For real.

[D]

Or that's gay. To look at him like that and remember in high school. Or maybe that's the gay one. I thought, is this the game winner? Is that the game? I think this is.

[C]

This is queen. Like, I'm like, yeah, queen. And I did that so quick without even thinking about it.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

And you did it, and you did the boy one.

[A]

I'm, like, mad confused. I'm like, what the.

[C]

Like, wait, look at your nails. How would you look at your nails?

[A]

I feel like I would, like, you like this.

[C]

And he's actually trans. And that's how you can tell.

[D]

Well, that's how you can tell. That's the official test.

[A]

Oh, my God. Never forget when I was, like, having fun with my hair and everybody started calling me non binary because I have really bad ocd. There was a moment where I was actually like, wait, is there something I. I haven't recognized in myself that people are recognizing? And I had to make sure.

[C]

They almost got your ass.

[A]

They almost got my ass. I'm so happy I didn't go to college. I would have been up. I would have been torn up. Like, whoa. I would have been bad confused. Y' all were all acting confused, so it got me confused. And now we're all confused.

[C]

Them. Yeah. Put a picture of them.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[D]

What's crazy is, like, guys, a montage of them.

[A]

Yeah, I did. That was. That's been my vibe. I been gay. I hashtag been gay. Like, been on icy hair. Yeah. I've been playing with my hair since I was in, like, 12th grade.

[D]

Let's wake up them yet again.

[C]

Yeah, let's wake that up.

[D]

Let's wake that up.

[A]

I don't think I'll ever do anything to my hair. Actually, I do. When I turn 30, I want to fry it and cut it all off.

[C]

I was just talking about buzzing my hair, too. Would you buzz your hair?

[A]

No.

[C]

Bonia style.

[A]

No, the. I don't want an Oscar. I don't give a.

[C]

She's not getting a. Huh? She's not getting that damn Oster.

[A]

Sucks to suck. That's why you do that? Like, the only. The only rational excuse to shave your head as a woman in your 30s. Actually, I guess you could do whatever the fudge you want. I literally take that back. I don't give a fudge. See, but to do it in the public eye at random is so, like, guys, I'm still here. Like, that's what makes me laugh. It's like the sudden, if it's not for a role or something is just like. Like, dumb. But I guess that's literally what I'm planning on doing. I plan on turning 30.

[C]

Yeah. I love Emma Stone and I love Jennifer Lawrence, period.

[D]

They are so sick. Emma Stone was my first real celebrity crush from Super Bad.

[C]

Well, yeah, she's bad as in, that's so cute, Kai.

[D]

I still have it. Like, I watched Begonia and I was like, I still. I'm in love with you. I want you.

[C]

But how old is Emma Stone? 36, I think. Is she 67?

[D]

She's 6. She's 67. Let me see.

[C]

21.

[D]

She's 37, period.

[C]

She looks great. She's a stunner. Jennifer Lawrence, queen, just like always will be queen.

[D]

She's queen. I met her recently. It's not a big deal.

[C]

But you made her scream, right?

[D]

Yeah, I had Jennifer screaming. Everyone was saying that. I was like, stop saying that.

[C]

That's so weird to say.

[A]

And now you're, like, repeating it to the public, so it's like you were like, stop saying that. But now you're the one repeating it to the public, so it's weird.

[D]

I actually forgot this was recorded.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I thought we were just hanging out.

[C]

I feel like we're never doing that.

[A]

Or lies.

[C]

Okay, well, sometimes we do that, guys. By the way, on special occasions, we're doing a show with Netflix in LA at the Palace Theater. Buy tickets. Lincoln Biden, is it?

[A]

Yeah, I don't know where it is, and I don't what day it is, like, which is up. Somebody was asking me yesterday.

[C]

I was like, Springtime, May 9th.

[A]

May the ninth. Be with you.

[C]

Period. Period. Just think about it like this. May 9th is my dead brother's birthday.

[A]

Is it really?

[C]

No, it's my dead grandpa's birthday, and I already have a whole bit planned.

[D]

Oh, God, that's dark, man.

[A]

I actually don't know if I care about grandparents.

[C]

They lived a life.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, I don't know how much empathy that gets out of me.

[C]

Remember, you, like, were like, write that down, Drew.

[A]

Because that you can't spell and you just Yell into your phone every, like, random. If you're around Drew for more than 20 minutes, you will hear him randomly go, elaborate.

[C]

Exciting. That's the one. That's the one. Exciting. I can't spell Exciting.

[A]

Why do you think. I think you. I actually, we've gone over this. I think you're just a bit dyslexic.

[C]

I don't know what. I literally don't know what it is. But I. If you look at my journal, like, I am a perfectionist when I'm writing in there. And that's part of the reason why I'm so bad about, like, writing my journal. Because if I have to, and I want to write in pen, and if I misspell a word, I mean, actually, you can look at every single page. I don't even catch. 95% of the time, I misspell a word, but it's always I, like, replace the I and the C or, like, I replace a letter here and there's. And it's just like, my brain is moving too quickly to, like, write it down.

[A]

That makes a bit more sense, but I meant more. So, like, you can't read out loud?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, yeah. You have a hard time reading.

[C]

I've gotten better, though.

[A]

Let's go. Popcorn. Reading. Grab a book.

[C]

Okay. I feel the Internet has made relationships 10 times worse. Here's an example. When you go on Reddit and you look up symptoms that you're having, and then you read a subreddit for it, and it's like, the scariest things you've ever seen, those are the worst case scenario for people that just. Those are the worst case scenario. The people that just heal and get better aren't posting every fucking day about how good their life is. It's the same with relationships. The people that get hurt the hardest are the loudest.

[A]

Yeah. Real. Are you saying that because you're being fear mongered by your iPhone?

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[D]

That was good. You read it really well. I mean, I've noticed that during the ad reads, you. You're really good at them now. I'm not gonna lie.

[C]

Keep going, guys. Tell me how good I am at reading.

[A]

Yeah. Like, and you're. It's almost your 28th birthday. I think I'm gonna get you a book.

[C]

Am I ready? Am I ready for a book?

[D]

Oh, also, I don't know if you're there yet. At the show, my straight friend Zach was talking about how handsome you are.

[C]

I know. I love that. He's like, I rode that for three days.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, you rode him for three days.

[C]

Just for calling you handsome.

[D]

Yeah, he called both of you guys. Oh, whimper challenge.

[C]

Oh, whimper challenge. Wait, we'll finish this thought because this is really important.

[D]

Oh, he was just like. He was just like, oh, my God, Drew. And you're so, like, pretty. They're so beautiful. And I was like, and Drew, too, bro. Like, you mean that? Like, what the hell? He was like, yeah, he looks, like, perfect. And he's just a straight guy. So pretty cool.

[C]

God, I love. I love when I get compliments like that. I love it.

[D]

I love when you get compliments too. I like seeing you light up.

[C]

Do you see a little glow in my eyes?

[D]

I like seeing the spark come back.

[C]

Someone recently literally was like, I've seen the spark fade over the last year.

[A]

And I was like, oh, oh, my God.

[C]

I've seen your spark fade.

[D]

They said that to you?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Well, that's crazy because I don't feel like that. So maybe that person is plotting, dulling your shine. When I look at you, I just see shine because I. I know I'm reading that, radiating that onto you. So I only get it back.

[B]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] disclosures hey, this is.

[A]

US Olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[C]

And I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull. As athletes, our lives are about having a clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

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[D]

Like, why do you see that sad?

[C]

Profound sadness.

[A]

It's like.

[D]

Yes, profound. I agree.

[A]

No, I wouldn't say that.

[D]

Yeah, I would. I would. What would you say, though? Perks of being a wallflower vibe?

[A]

I've never seen that movie.

[C]

Well, I love when y' all flirt.

[A]

This is not flirting. I was trying to look at him and describe, you know, in spongebob, when something stinks and it's like a green aura, except it's like, it's like a gray one that, like, it's like a.

[C]

Gray seam that reads aura is rainbow insp. Sparkles.

[D]

Yeah, it's rainbow. It's the entire spectrum of light.

[C]

Kaizora is white.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. For sure.

[D]

White is a. Isn't that like a good aura to have? Let me look.

[A]

You would think that.

[C]

You would think that.

[D]

No, no, no.

[A]

That's the way you were raised.

[D]

There's no racial. There's no racial under.

[C]

Yeah, now I'm under. Now I'm understanding.

[D]

Grandpa's the rarest and highest vibrational energy. Vibrational?

[C]

Who wrote that? A white.

[A]

Why are you pointing at me?

[D]

Spiritual enlightenment and deep divine connection.

[C]

What is indigo? I'm an Indigo.

[A]

I'm an Indigo.

[C]

I'm an Indigo Child.

[A]

It's like Kickstarter for indie films. Indigo.

[C]

Oh, Indiegogo.

[A]

I'm Indigo.

[D]

It's associated with the third eye chakra, symbolizing high intuition, spiritual wisdom, and psychic abilities. Yeah, that's all true. You have forecasted a lot of things, and we video proof of that from past episodes. Spiritual wisdom. You're very spiritual. We know that. And you're very intuitive. Sometimes we'll be in the car, and then I'll, like, get sad, and Drew will be driving, and I'll be sitting behind him, and he'll go, what just happened? Where did you go? And it's within, like, one second. It's insane. He is the only other person who has basically a female level of intuition. The other person is me that I know. Me and him.

[C]

And every woman you know does not have that level of intuition.

[D]

Not really. At the same level as. Yes, I feel like. And that's.

[C]

My female intuition is not as high as ours.

[D]

No, it's simply not as high. Whimper challenge or what?

[C]

Oh, yeah. And you. Do you want to hear our whimper? I actually don't know.

[A]

I'm gonna go smoke. I'm not doing. I'm not sitting here for that. That would, like, really. No.

[D]

Okay, fine.

[A]

That would be unsettling for me personally. Is that you? Ew. What? Like, what? Also, where are you? Are you driving?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Who is that, too?

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Whoa.

[D]

That was a good one.

[C]

That was a good one.

[D]

That one felt.

[A]

Who did you send that to?

[C]

No one. It's me and Kai.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, it's playing. It's still playing. It's still playing. It's me and Kai doing the whimper challenge.

[D]

Yeah. So I, like, kind of regret, actually.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

To any of that felt bad. I'm sorry, Anya.

[C]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[A]

No, it's okay. There's actually, like. Like y' all were saying, there's a lot of video evidence of you having a female intuition and you predicting things. There's actually also a lot of video evidence of Enya Humans are saying, no, I don't want to hear that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to talk about that. And then proceeding to get berated by the two white guys in the room and.

[C]

And indoctrinated into a conversation. I'm spicy white, babe.

[A]

You're spicy white. Because when it comes out the butt, it'd be burning.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, when you come out my butt.

[C]

When your come comes out my butt.

[D]

Oh, that's gross. Very gross.

[C]

Should I talk about that gay Christian that I've been trying to talk about for the last three weeks, but I haven't been able to.

[A]

Yeah, because you just can't articulate.

[C]

No, I just, like, keep. Either keep forgetting or the episode gets cut or, like, so on and so forth. Should I just talk about it? Y' all aren't gonna have reaction because I've already told it three times now. But have you been keep.

[A]

Have you, like, consistently.

[C]

No, I follow keeping up with him. Just. I have fallen off. I don't know what's going on anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You asked the question. I answered. Okay, so there's this, like, dude on Instagram that I've been keeping up with or that I kept up with for, like, a year straight. And his entire, like, content was, like, him being, like, hyper Christian. Like, he was. He was Christian, but he was also queen. Like, his mannerisms, his movements, purses flying out of his mouth, like, he was queen.

[A]

Very hyper, very flamboyant.

[C]

But he would never say it. And everyone. All of his comments were like, bro, just come out. Literally, just like, love yourself. It's okay. It's 2025. You can love yourself and whoever you want.

[A]

It's 2026, actually.

[C]

Well, this was last year when the comments were happening. And then on the new year, or maybe it was on Christmas, he was like, I'm Christian and I'm gay, and I'm looking for a boyfriend. And it shattered everything. It shattered everyone's minds. Like, no one ever thought he was going to be able to do it, actually. And all of the comments were, like, hyper supportive. It was. It was a beautiful thing. I was like, wow. Like, this is, like, one of those, like, rare moments on the Internet where, like, it's nice. It's sweet. And he, like, kept posting, and, like, he started being even more gay and was like, yeah, like, I'm looking for a boyfriend. Like, he would make content about, like, what his type and men was and, like, all of this. And then that just made me think. I was like, damn. Like, you can, like. Like, I won't go on a tangent.

[A]

But wait, I want to hear the tangent.

[C]

Oh, it was just like. Like, people that are, like, denying their sexuality actively and publicly, like, still fantasizing.

[A]

Yeah, Fantasizing that if they could be free, what would they go after?

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Which is also actually so interesting. Because I think a lot of people, ideas of types don't even come to fruition. That doesn't come to fruition.

[C]

Especially 6, 4 and ripped white guy. Like, that's his type of, like, unfortunately. But he came out and made all these gay videos, and then slowly, over time, like, the audience that supported him, like, drifted away. And then he was left with the audience that was, like, Christian and supporting him and being like, yeah, like, you're Christian. Like, let's go to church together. I want a church girl. Well, I, like, stumbled upon his page, like, a couple weeks ago, and all of the comments were, like, the most horrifying I've ever seen. It was like, people being like, you are a. You're gonna burn in hell. Die, die, die. And then I saw this one comment with, like, 800 likes, mind you. The video had, like, 120 likes itself. And I was like, what is this? And he was talking. The comment was like, you need to go watch this channel of this name, which I don't want to say because, like, it's really dark energy. And he was like, he has a very similar path to you, and I think you'd learn a lot. And I was like, what is this? So I go to this channel and it's this very obviously, like, older gay man, and his whole content is him talking about how he was gay until he was, like, in his mid to late 20s. And then he abstained from gay.

[A]

He went sober.

[C]

He went sober from gay, and he is now just, like, celibate it. And his whole content strategy is just, like, finding men and they're like, deepest, darkest, like, the deepest darkest, like, moments of their life and like, interviewing them and being like, well, like, you don't have to be gay. And they're like, I'm not gay anymore. Like, the gay lifestyle promotes drug use, and the gay lifestyle does promotes, like, demonic levels of sex. And da da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And, like, no, baby, like, that was just. You, like, there's so much more to it than just drugs and sex. You just, like, fell into the corner of the gay lifestyle that is drugs and sex. Because that does exist.

[D]

But.

[A]

But that exists in, like, every sector of every community.

[C]

It was just horrifying. Exactly, exactly. It was just horrifying to see, like, that have 800 likes, meaning that, like, there's probably gay dudes liking that. That, like. Like, I don't know. It was. It was just so weird.

[A]

Let me save this so I could look into it.

[C]

Yeah. And then just like, going and seeing that and like I knew that existed, but I've never like actually watched content like that. And then the most horrifying part is I watched like maybe 30 minutes total of these interviews across like four or five interviews. And my suggested videos feed on YouTube was completely nuked. And it was full of like, like anti gay propaganda. It was full of like radicalized Christian ideals. Like, it was, it was so bizarre how quickly my algorithm went from basketball to like hating gay people. And that was basically the moral of the story.

[A]

Well, because I guess your algorithm was probably like, oh, a little straight guys watching this channel. Now he's interested in being homophobic, so we can really take him there.

[C]

The pipeline is crazy.

[A]

The easiest switch up ever. I never have that because I unironically tree. I hit not interested on content like that. The same way a baby declines a phone call. Like me and not interested me and blocked me. Like me and the block button have always had this like dangerously amazing love affair behind closed doors. And I always see people talking about that, about like how they think it's petty to block people randomly if they're just like annoyed by them. No, the. It's not. This is literally my front yard. I'm doing landscaping. There's weeds in the front yard. I'm gonna rip out and make sure they don't come back. I'm going to spray them down with whatever needs to be sprayed. And I don't want to see your face again.

[C]

Baby. You don't. You don't spray them. You flame thrower them. You burn them. Yeah.

[A]

And I hit not interested in like that's so fast. Even sometimes. Like if there's someone on my timeline. Cuz I love a crazy. But even that sometimes there's like a crazy person who's going down a negative road where like they're not just in their room making crafts and talking to themselves in their phone anymore, but now they're making like demonic sacrifices. No, no, blocked. Literally I'm blocking you.

[C]

No bad energy.

[A]

Yeah, blocking, not interested. I love block and not interest. That combo goes crazy. I will hit not interested and then go to the page and then block.

[D]

Have you guys been getting any stuff about the, like the recent ice incident on TikTok?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

No, I, I haven't, I haven't seen any.

[C]

And that's what I was going to bring that up next. And that was like, they are like, ever since like that oracle, like they have been blocking like ice related content. Like, did you see Meg Stalter?

[D]

No.

[C]

She was like down. I'm Downloading all of my TikToks and deleting that fucking app because like she was like trying to talk about it and all three of her videos got like blacklisted immediately.

[A]

Even when the Renee stuff was happening, all the content about the incident with Keith was getting fully robbed. And now it's that one. Getting robbed? Scrubbed, not robbed.

[C]

Israeli owned technology.

[A]

Wait, so is real for real bought Tick Tock?

[C]

I don't, I, like, not actually, but like the Oracle guy is like notoriously.

[A]

Like, who the is Oracle?

[C]

What's his name? Kai.

[D]

Larry Ellison.

[C]

Yeah, Larry Ellison.

[A]

Kill him.

[C]

If you, if you, if you looked up Oracle on Tick Tock, like Israel's like Tick Tock page when you say.

[A]

Oracle on Tick Tock, I'm thinking of this person who went online and said like was starting beef with their mom and talking about how like the way they navigate their personal lives and that was a whole other thing. So I'm thinking, if you know what I'm talking about, there was this person who literally got online, came online, said all like the boundaries and shit they partake with in their life and everybody was like, you were the craziest person I've ever fucking heard from. And that motherfucker vanished from the Internet. So that's what I was thinking of because I think I did see a TikTok of somebody blocking Oracle and I was like, didn't that person get ran off this app? Like, why are you blocking them? They're not even here. So I'm see I, I, my side of Tik Tok. I am getting stuff about all the ice though.

[C]

Oh, interesting.

[D]

Yeah, but I think it's been like wiped from my page. Like I'll search for it and it doesn't come up. Like usually on Tik Tok, if you even type like one word that has anything to do with anything, that's like the subject of your for you page for the next month. And like I don't get any of it. So weird.

[C]

My TikTok feed like in the last like 2 days is completely different. Like there's like, like way less ads. There's way less like Tik Tok, Tik Tok Shop. Like the, the whole interface, like it just feels soulless now. Like I don't know what happened in the last three days, but like it is something that I've like, noticed and like I'm not using that anymore, period. Like, I'll get my news.

[A]

Where are we going? Oh my God.

[C]

Let's go to Twitter, guys. Yeah, right.

[A]

Oh my Gosh someone just start. Don't y' all like the Internet? Start a website.

[C]

Well, that's what we're doing today day. I'm not kidding. Me and Kai are gonna go start Change the World after this episode.

[D]

Yeah, we're creating the next Facebook and.

[C]

We'Re gonna call it the Facebook Facebook.

[D]

And it's gonna fix a lot of stuff, honestly. And honestly, we're gonna make a lot of money. So if you want to get in on this, you got to get in now.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Give us, give us $50,000 base level investment, and we'll change your life. And yet, once we IPO and our stock price hits $400, a million probably.

[D]

Girl, probably hit a million. It'll probably hit like whatever Berkshire Hathaway's stock price is.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

If anybody knows me, they know that, like trades and all that.

[C]

Trade.

[A]

Wait, where stocks, all of that. Anything with moving money. If, if, if I am moving money or getting money in my pocket that I didn't work for, I unironically think it's demonic because already having to work for money is a demonic exchange in itself on across all boards. But like, like, oh my God, I've never been more mad in my life. The 1:1 con of being in Miami was there was a day where I had to go visit some family who I don't with. And I don't give a if that's public information because how I don't with you, you're crazy and weird. But I have decorum and I have old school respect. So what I will do is pull up and act nice and be respectful and be fake because that's what you're supposed to do with family hate. But on the way there, my dad is just like one of those older guys who refuses to use Google Maps ever because he can drive up and down and around everywhere without maps. He just like knows Miami and Florida.

[C]

This morning.

[A]

Oh my God. Literally nothing's made me more angry than this car ride because I'm already driving somewhere I don't want to go. And my dad is in the passenger seat giving me verbal directions, which I already hate because like, like verbal he's giving me, he's like telling me where to go. And on top of that, he's trying to convince me to invest in stocks. And he starts to talk to me about, like, money. And. And then my mom is in the back seat. And if you don't know, my mom is my stepmom. She only speaks Spanish. So now I'm in the middle of a conversation in half Spanish, half English about stocks. My dad is explaining them to me in English, and I'm trying to tell him that I know what he's talking about, because I live with crazy people who talk about stuff all the time and that I don't want to talk about it. And then my mom is like. And then she's wanting to know what we're talking about, and I'm not kidding. That car ride made me want to kill 18 people with my bare hands. Like, oh, my God, that was awful. I hate.

[C]

What is he saying? What is he saying?

[A]

Like, you want to know what he was talking about? I don't know. I was blocking it out. I literally. Dude. And, like, you know how I get, like, when I get really upset, and, like, I. I. I feel like I'm doing my best. Like, I'm very easy to read, and if I'm disengaged and if I've already verbally been, like, I don't really want to talk about that. Like, to me, that's.

[C]

Oh, I had that moment literally last night. Like, I went up there, and I was like, oh, no, I'm turning out and turning around and going downstairs.

[A]

Oh. And I'm just, like, over it.

[C]

No, I can. I can just. I have, like, a very good read on when you're like. Like, I'm not talking to anyone right now. And that was the moment last night.

[A]

Yeah. When you came home. When you came home last night. I did feel bad, literally, when you walked out, I. To Sophia, I was like, was. I mean. And then she was like, I don't think so. I was like, I just. I'm like, I'm so. Like, I don't want to talk right now. Like, I. Like, we were just sitting there in silence, and I was like, I can't speak. I can't speak. But that's how I fought in that car. And he was just. I don't know. He was just telling me about, like, he was like, you know, you could turn this money into this money, and, like, it's just like, all this. And I'm like, bro, I. I don't. Like, I hate it. I literally hate it. I think it's so demonic. Like, seriously, there has to be another way. There has to be something else. Like, no. And that's.

[D]

There's nothing else.

[C]

It's only. It's only stock price, baby. It's only pleasing our stock overlords.

[A]

That's not real. That stuff just is not real to me.

[D]

The TikTok terms are it can now use your GPS level position. It can train AI models on your face. And the stuff that you say, it reset the algorithms, I guess based off of US infrastructure instead of like whatever.

[C]

In the past three days.

[D]

Yeah, killer search function is up, I guess.

[C]

Yeah, it is. There's no blue text in my comment sections anymore. I can't click on blue text. That is true.

[A]

That is true. Everything I have had to look up, girl. I have had to look up. That was my nipple just out. It felt like it was like really close.

[C]

No, she was the. You have perfect boobs. It's crazy.

[A]

I hate you, cuz. No, I don't. I hate my boobs. But thank you. Thank you so much for the comment.

[D]

Your sexual orientation, religious beliefs, political opinions, and health diagnoses can now be used. And they'll probably give that to like, health insurance.

[C]

Yeah. If you're gay, good luck.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You're not getting insurance.

[D]

And then it seemed. I don't know, this seems more speculative, but let's be honest, it's probably happening. Data can be used with government agencies like ICE to do whatever horrible thing they're gonna do.

[A]

So there's no winning because, like, it. I saw something the other day that it was like, like a left leaning person talking about how they got a gun because, like, it's just feeling like that and I'm like, there's no, like now what? We're all expected to just like, like funnel money into like what the government wants, which is like how much money they already make off of weapons. Like now like half of the US is like, I think I need a gun because there's crazy people with guns on the street who might just kill me. Right.

[D]

I know. I miss when it was like everyone was mad about the Cambridge Analytica stuff because they were just targeting you to sell you more, I guess was the problem.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And now it's like, like we can create another version of you based off of your bone structure. And then we can break into your home because we can create an AI model that is going to murder you based off of the things that you say in a Tik Tok video. I don't know.

[C]

Or the videos you like.

[D]

It sucks. It sucks really bad. But yeah, me and Drew are making the next Facebook. So.

[C]

Yeah, join us.

[A]

What the are you talking about?

[D]

We're building a new social media and.

[C]

We have to get away from all this bad before.

[D]

We've never had.

[C]

CEOs are good.

[A]

I think all gay CEOs turn evil.

[C]

No, I'm gonna Be the first tonight.

[D]

He's gonna be the first good one. Also.

[C]

Billionaire.

[D]

The first ethical bottom billionaire.

[C]

Yes, exactly. There's not enough bottom. Actually. All billionaires are bottom. All cops are bottoms. All billionaires are bottoms. All ICE agents are bottoms. No, literally, a bottom of this is.

[A]

Like, to me, the, the if there was like a pyramid of issues, like, the first thing that needs to be handled of everything is the fact that, like, men just have an inherent shame that they cannot get away from. And it just trickles down and hurts literally everybody. And I'm like, there is no shame in you being a guy who wants to have only guy friends who feel powerful and go out all the time and drink. And you could get that in Los Angeles. You don't have to be the president.

[C]

You can get that in WeHo.

[A]

Yeah, baby. You don't. You don't have to go and do all that. You don't have to go and do all that to feel whatever pleasure you're seeking because you're not getting it from where you're going. Like, joining ICE is not going to give you community. You are just going to be a puppet for idiots and ruin your life. And at that point, like I said, you should just kill yourself. I really do think we should bring back how viable of an option suicide is. If you're feeling like all of the evils that you're trying to project onto other people, it's not even like giving you the satisfaction of being an evil person because there's no way the evil actions you're doing are actually fueling you at this point. You might, might be chasing a dragon that doesn't exist. And you can only get it in the sweet release of death.

[C]

Suicide. Kill yourself.

[A]

Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. ICE Suicide. ICE Suicide. You can't spell suicide without ice. You cannot spell suicide without ice. You cannot. It's just not possible. And we need to put the dots together. It's right in our face, guys. Suicidal ideation is a beautiful thing. If you're an ICE agent, it's this escape. It's like, oh, I hate my life. I. Oh, I'm an ICE agent and I just hate everybody around me because I'm so evil and nasty. And oh, I wish everyone could feel this hate. And it's like, oh, my gosh, I would. I would feel your hate if you killed yourself. Because then it's like, wow, I would actually understand. Yeah, I would be like. You would be a martyr of sorts. I also don't understand. The whole point of this is because, like, we live in an actively racist world. Like, we've never not lived in a racist world. So I'm like, why do you think pushing it more and more towards that is going to make it better? Like, it's. We've already, like, we've America's kind of like, OGs in building a foundation off of hate, and I think we're seeing it's not working. So, like, kill yourself.

[D]

This is all because of Rockstar delaying GTA 6. Because there's all these men that wanted to kill innocent people and they delayed it a year and now they are like, I have to do it in real life now. It's.

[C]

That video is crazy. Have y' all seen it? What, the Alex video? Yeah, it's really gnarly. Like, a cop took his gun, right? Like, that's. That's what it is. And then accidentally fired it. And then they unloaded 30 bullets into him. Like, I think that's. That's what happened.

[A]

I'm like, that's not an accident, baby. That's no accident.

[C]

Oh, it was never an accident.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I'm like, it's never.

[C]

Oh, wait, you don't.

[A]

How do you safely remove a gun from the body of someone else? And you can handle that gun in that way, but then you accidentally not only shoot this man once, but multiple times? Like, no, it is. It is really feeling like. It's feeling just. It's feeling like, not real times. It's not real. Like, nothing is real. Every day I wake up and I feel so confused and scared because I'm like, this just can't be real. I opened my phone and I'm like, this can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real. And it is real. But then you go outside and everything's just kind of moving normal. And that's the oddest part, is, like, being able to, for the most part, navigate around life and then be like, oh, my gosh, when I go home and get on my phone, I'm about to see what's really happening. Like, now going in the real world feels like scrolling my tick tock timeline, if that makes sense. Like, being outside feels like I'm like. Like avoiding the realities that be. Which is such an odd thing to, like, be feeling. Question mark. But I don't know if I'm the only one who feels that. But when I go outside and I'm, like, doing my errands, like, going to get my glasses and talking to the people who work at the Four Eyes.

[C]

No, that's like literally mad normal.

[A]

And I'm like, okay, I'm looking at the faces of individuals who are definitely being affected by all of this and we're here interacting and then you go home on, on, on your phone. It's just like, like, whoa.

[D]

I'm assuming their strategy is to like hit different cities and then they leave so everyone calms down and then they'll do. Because I mean, in la, it was, it got gnarly like a did in the summer. Yeah.

[C]

But they just, like last year was.

[A]

So gnarly and then they kind of just like dipped.

[C]

What was it, what was I saying the other day? Where it's like, the reason they're like targeting Minneapolis right now is like sanctuary city that. And it's also just like, like the, the people that would like rise up against ICE agents, like if, if they, when they did that in LA or they did that in Miami or New York, like, the population is not putting up with that, like, at all.

[A]

That's real. Because.

[C]

Yeah, when it was, when it was.

[A]

Such a year, it was so apparent when you left the house, like, it was impossible. It was the opposite. It was impossible to leave the house and not feel it.

[C]

And it's also like, it kind of showed how minuscule, like the ICE agents force really was. And now when they're in Minneapolis, there's like, I mean, now there's real upheaval. But like before, like the last three weeks, it was like, pretty. They could kind of run around and do whatever they wanted because, like, there wasn't that many people to like, rise up against them. And I feel like they're just like, really like, proving a point or trying to show that they're like, bigger. Like the force is bigger than it actually is. I don't know.

[A]

Like, just also, I do think it is. It's like how you were saying that like Trump, if and when he is out of office, he's just going to like, buy and privatize like the ICE agency as his own, like, personal military, essentially. And I feel like a lot of this is to just prove a point of like, look what I have. Like, this is not controlled by the government. This is all me. And look at how it's. I, I actually don't. Insane. I, like, I, I don't understand. I don't understand because I, I thought the whole point of the people who are the kind join ICE again, I don't understand if your whole thing is you don't believe in all this. Like, you don't believe in the government. You think it's all fake, blah blah. That's why you with Trump you are literally just doing the thing the government does to everyone else. You dummy. You're listening to a handful of random ass men who you voted into office who are lying to your face and getting you to go out and commit hate meanest acts of violence. Period. Like but that's just what the government does to the average citizen is like belittle them and make them get put in a position where they have no choice but to just do what the government says. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold butter. Yep, chocolate ice cream, sure thing. Barbecue sauce. Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean.

[C]

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[B]

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[D]

It's so funny because for so long the right wing conservative gun advocate argument was like, like one day the government is going to come with guns to your house and you better have a gun. And then those same guys signed up.

[C]

For ICE also it what blows my mind people. Yes, show up to your house and then on top of that it's like arm yourselves. But if you're liberal and you're arming yourself you are going to be gunned down in the streets by ICE agents. Like, like it is, it is so ass backwards. It is like the second liberals start arming themselves they get shot. Like it's, it's, it is so dark sided.

[A]

Well it's cuz one thing we do know for sure and for certain is that when it comes like between both sides the right side is quicker to like action and belief off of anything coming, coming down if that makes sense. Like, like I do think the left wing even before it got so divided amongst like left wing people have always been the kind of people to question a bit more like whatever, whatever or to like disobey authority up front. The right side does have a tendency to although so against authority. They do love, they love daddy. They love a daddy. Like that's d. Like they want daddy.

[C]

They need Big, they need Amanda tell.

[A]

Him they want Big Papa to tell them what to eat, to when to brush their teeth, to when to go to bed. And because of that I think like because also it's interesting to think about how a few months ago they were being fed by right wing media the idea that liberals were psychopaths who were going to fucking shoot them. And I'm like, that's why they're so quick to action of like, oh hell no. I'm gonna go and join ICE and fucking kill them. Because they're already fucking killing us. It's like, damn, bro, you, you. I don't know, it's so crazy. But I, I, I really, I mean, again, now a white woman and a white guy have been killed by ice, which to me, again, that's not diluting or demeaning what happened, but to me it really is. I'm, I think I'm so confused and scared because I'm like, that's so, I don't know, I never thought I'd see a day where there were right wing people or any kind of people, but white people were down to let one of their own be treated like that.

[C]

Which is really like, it's like that.

[A]

It's just so interesting and not, I.

[C]

Don'T know, like it's that Tiana Taylor SNL sketch where it was like, this is unprecedented times. We have never seen anything like this. And then the like actually black and brown people have been being murdered by cops forever. Now you're adding like white liberals to the mix. It's like, oh, they really, like they'll kill anybody. Like they'll literally not to fear mommy.

[A]

That's why it feels like, I think to people who are conscientious of the fact that, yeah, for most of America that's just been like the life period, like even to do with like I ICE in general. Like ICE has always been a fear that dominated brown, Latin and black communities, period. Police has always been like a threatening force to like those communities, the government. Like that's always been a lingering thing. But I think it feels so crazy again because it's like it was always almost common knowledge that like if something happened to a white person and it made it on the news, it's actual news and if it happens to a non white person, then it's just, just like that happened. So the fact that like that is not even the case, it's like really what, where does it end for y'? All? I think, like, where does it, what is the end goal? What is the end goal? And I think that's almost my biggest concern is never has there been an end goal because to any sort of oppression. I've never understood, like, I'm like the end goal doesn't mean anything because you're really just going to start like, like, penny, nickel, dime, penny, penny, nickel, dime, quarter. Like you're gonna start getting to that because that's what we're seeing is like black, brown, Latin, like just POCs in general. Have always known that once they got bored of picking on those groups, they would just move on to white groups. But I'm really shocked that the white people are still not seeing it. It's like you're still not able to see that. It really has nothing to do with, like, color or like culture. It really is this dim wit ideology of just individualism. It has no identifying qualities other than these people are insane and they lack a lust for life. Which again, and that's why I always bring up suicide because I have such suicidal ideations. Because I, I now I'm at a place where my lust for life is explosive. It's almost overfilling. But when I didn't have that lust for life, I really wasn't.

[C]

Did you think about joining ice?

[A]

No. That's what I'm a bit confused by, cuz I'm like, girl, okay, we're walking down this path of confusion together. But then you start seeing like, u. It sounds so good to put on a TEU unit, go carry around a gun and kill somebody.

[C]

I bet the police force is like, like, thank God there's someone else to take this heat. Like, wait, no, we're coming for you. Don't worry.

[A]

You're still, you're still here.

[C]

You're still. We're still aware we got some other business to take care of, but we're, we're talking. We're gonna come back for you.

[D]

I feel like they're, they're jealous.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They're like, wait, if I kill someone, I at least get yelled at for two months.

[C]

Yeah. And then at least.

[D]

Yeah, if you're in ice, you have immunity.

[A]

Yeah. Because at least.

[C]

Did you see J.D. vance went back on that.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Or he tried to.

[D]

What'd he say?

[C]

Just literally just like went back on it. Like in the same, like, he like someone played that clip where he was like, they have like, complete immunity if they're acting upon, like, the government or whatever. And then he like, was like, I didn't say that.

[D]

Oh. Oh, he lied. What the.

[C]

Isn't that weird?

[D]

Wait, what the.

[C]

The Vice President and the president lied.

[A]

He was just like, he was feeling himself the go. You got to him because they're all like, they have to be doing shooters.

[D]

Wait, have you guys seen this?

[C]

Oh, you're his chapel ganger, Kai.

[A]

Oh, you are his.

[D]

I'm not his chocolate.

[A]

His chapel chopped ganger.

[D]

I said that during technical difficulties, and now Drew's stealing it and he's destroying me.

[A]

Chapel ganger is really good.

[C]

No, Kai, that's. That's literally Kai's joke.

[A]

That's not Kai's joke.

[D]

It is my joke.

[A]

I didn't hear it come out of your mouth first. So now in my head, it's forever gonna be Drew's joke.

[D]

This is. Yeah.

[A]

And it was really good, so that sucks.

[C]

Thank you. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Dude, you're so good. That was.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

Okay, well, so I have theories, I have questions, comments and concerns. I saw a clip of Benny and Mary Beth talking about, like, when kale dropped and how, like, crazy that was. Like, do y' all remember when kale dropped?

[A]

I was pretty anti kale. Kale still sits in a weird place for me.

[C]

Well, that's what Benny was saying. He was like, her PR was crazy because, like, really think about Kale. Like, that was.

[A]

Yeah. I guess the last thing I. I felt like that for was Big Parma with Kylie and her mom. That episode of Them cooking Kris Jenner and Kylie Jenner. I'm on to you. I know you got paid by Big Dairy for that weird ass video y' all did of cooking, and you couldn't stop saying cheese.

[C]

Like, the Big wheel of Parmesan. They were parmesan cheese. We're making cheese. Cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese. But that spurred a thought for me. So, like, protein is out of Kia. Like, protein, like, is in. In a very big way.

[A]

Protein is went from opening up to headlining.

[C]

Yes, Protein headlining Coachella. Why is fiber line 2 or 3 at Coachella? Like, fiber is knocking at the cell door of Kia Asylum. About to be fucking.

[A]

That's usual. I've been with fiber since the jump. I was low key, the first to.

[C]

Fiber, and you was.

[A]

I was the first to fiber.

[D]

And that's why, alongside our social media, that's going to change the world. We're dropping merch. It's going to be fiber supplements, so.

[C]

And they're titled Kia Escaping.

[D]

Kia Escaping Kia.

[C]

No. Well, the thing is, I've been taking mycelium husk for years now, but because I'm a bottom.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Cleansia right out. You really don't even have to douche. Never trust a man that says, oh, I know my body. I'm clean. No, you're not. You're not.

[A]

I think protein is a scam. Like, not in terms of, like, you need protein. I think. I think non.

[C]

Wait, that was. I love. I literally.

[A]

That I think non. Like, real food based protein. Like, please don't base all of your protein intake take off of, like, a can of soda that says it has 9 grams of protein in it. Like, baby, that's not like. No, no, we gotta get you, like, chewing. We need you chewing something. We need you chewing something. I need to see a little bit of a bloat so that I'm like, okay, your body has some work to do. Let's get you seated. Or like, maybe let's go for a walk. Let's get us digesting. To me, like a cliff bar. The only people who should be eating protein bars are broke vegetarians and vegans. That's the only people who need to be eating that shit.

[C]

Did you see my protein bars?

[A]

Oh, I saw your fucking protein bars. I see them.

[C]

I see them. I bought two boxes of protein bars and like 40 bags of new rare candy from the store. Yeah, and it's candy you have never seen before.

[A]

Actually, it wasn't that gaggy. I went and peeked in that bag and it didn't spur the sour.

[D]

Starburst.

[C]

Sour garbage treatments. They. Those were out, but they're back. Did you try? Yeah, I love them. The watermelon makes me, like, sweat in a way that I haven't sweat since I was like 8 years old. Like, sometimes sour candy just, like, makes me sweat, which is probably a sign that I shouldn't be eating it, but it's so addicting. The parasite in my gut can't get enough. Wait, guys, I randomly.

[A]

You really do have a sugar problem. Like a corn syrup sugar problem.

[C]

I mean, it's probably just.

[A]

You have corn addiction.

[C]

I'm furious.

[A]

My husband has a corn addiction, Period. My husband loves going to the gym. He's obsessed with corn.

[C]

Corn syrup and chips, like, corn products. Everything is made of corn. I go to the gym to work out.

[A]

No, he's always out.

[C]

I go to the gym four times a day. Kai.

[A]

Every time, he said, he says every time he's stressed, he just wants to go to the gym to get it out his of assistant. And he comes back and he's like, sleepy and tired, and he just takes.

[C]

My hair is all up.

[D]

You cruise to the gym? You cruise to the gym?

[C]

I cruise to the gym.

[D]

Yeah. That's cool.

[C]

Well, guys, I have psyops.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Big news. Okay, Drew.

[A]

Kai, you haven't put your foot up this whole episode.

[D]

I was just thinking about that, but not y'.

[C]

All being on the same wavelength and.

[D]

Seeing I know what the hell that is very cute.

[A]

Okay, do yourself up corner.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All y' all new hoes do is drink, smoke and gamble and eat pasta. These are the Sopranos.

[A]

I feel like Tony Soprano. You don't want to know the kind of things that I know. And if you know, you know, period.

[C]

Women are cute until they pull a cigarette out. Never mind. This is a mechanic game. Rumors just don't come out of nowhere. You was somewhere doing something.

[A]

Real.

[C]

Y' all be like Dubai or Italy for my birthday and end up at Applebee's.

[A]

H wow.

[C]

If your whisper stinks, don't tell me. No secrets. I'm good.

[D]

Oh, that one's real.

[C]

A stinky whisper. A stinky whisper.

[A]

Cuz your breath got to be hot as to travel from here. Like that means the hot. Your breath is so hot and heavy. It's dense enough to like be on my face. Like my face is a asphalt road and the temperatures are that differentiating that it's like fogging.

[C]

I hate that I can feel a whisper like the warm air. Do not open your phone around me because I will be staring at your screen.

[A]

Same. Except I used to get my ass beat as a kid for that. Cuz I was looking at all the adult screens. I just couldn't keep my eyes off that phone.

[C]

Going through your parents phone and seeing the things that you weren't supposed to see and then carrying that trauma with you for the rest of your life. Life, I think is a universal experience.

[A]

Dude, one time I was looking when I was like 9 or 10, I was looking for old pictures and I found like a stash of porn magazines and I literally felt like.

[C]

Oh, hungry. You felt hungry?

[A]

Tuna melt sounds so good right now. Like a tuna melt right now. But yeah, that was like so terrifying. And then also going through. But going through parents phones was really fun. Have you told your parents you did that?

[C]

Oh yeah. I still also have like all of my parents contacts saved to my phone. Because when I made my like phone I was on their Apple account and there's some really suspect fucking numbers. Numbers. There's like Face Dave on there. Like there's like a bunch of. And I'm like, what was. What's the drama? Like I want another drama. And I finally like mustered up the courage to ask my mom because I was like, I wonder if this is like infidelity. And she was like, no, this guy just scammed Jared out of like thousands of dollars. So yeah, yeah, damn. Well, any more scop I have one, but I don't think it's that funny. I'll read it. Just because whatever Kai at saw on that bitch's phone, I prayed don't find me.

[A]

Oh my God. Did you see her talking about that? She fully cleared that whole situation.

[C]

I saw that when I said to.

[A]

We'Re going to get you a book for your birthday. I was quoting her because she, she made a joke where she was like, I, I, I don't know what it was, like the context of it, but she made a joke about her. Why don't Kai's friends get him books since he loves to read. Apparently because of him getting online and reading, which. Well, you know what? Drew sounds like that when he's reading out loud too.

[C]

So I'm going to let it, let it slide.

[A]

Reading is good no matter how slow or fast we must read.

[C]

Should I read a page? I'm gonna read a page from the Bell Jar.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. I want you to read a page. Oh my gosh. Oh, I did see a comment of somebody when we were talking about books being like they don't read or somebody was like, I love when they try to sound smart. If you actually heard me when I was trying to sound smart, you'd be even more entertained because that was not me trying to sound smart. I sound even dumber when I'm doing that. I'm trying to find something. Okay? Just.

[C]

I was living in a little cave like hideaway on an alley called Love Grove. The only door is of this dugout lair open directly on the alley. So that made it seem like secret chambers. It was awesome. It held character. This place must have had a seedy history because it was alive with uneasy spirits. Maybe in former days it had been an all night opium dent.

[D]

Ooh.

[C]

Or the clandestine hutch for felons who have their pictures in the post office. It was definitely an undercover joint. Perhaps it was a speakeasy during prohibition. Or a cubbyhole for oculus. Even a bomb shelter. It just wasn't a normal living space by any standards.

[D]

He doesn't stop for the most part.

[C]

I still have nightmares about this place. It has two rooms plus a kitchen and a bathroom which were always dark because the three.

[D]

Oh, dude, you bodied clandestine.

[C]

Yeah, I thought, I thought I didn't have it.

[A]

Yeah, you did. You did really good.

[C]

That book was intriguing though.

[A]

This book is amazing. This is walking through clear water in a pool painted black by Cookie Mueller. But it's just a collection of all her stories.

[D]

Cookie.

[A]

Cookie. This is one of my favorite authors, period. Okay. Yeah, you have gotten better.

[C]

I love that I can read, guys. What's this podcast even about me proving I can read.

[A]

Okay, let's do media.

[C]

I watched the first three episodes of the Beauty. Not gonna like eyes. It itched. A scratch I haven't had since like American Horror Story Coven. Like, I kind of really like it. It's like, it's interesting.

[A]

Well, I am on season two of Insecure and it so good. It is so good. Like I'm trying to get myself to not just pummel through it because I will. I watched like the whole first season in the span of two days.

[C]

Oh, I also love this JT and Young Miami song with Camila Camille Cabello. Oh, Dade County Dreaming. I love when they're.

[A]

I love that it's the last city girl song ever.

[C]

Oh, I didn't know that like Camila, having them sing over that piano was so major. And I see you. I see you, Camila. I see you.

[A]

It's so amazing.

[D]

Consent for me to do my medium.

[A]

Up down there. Oh my gosh.

[C]

Major.

[A]

Also that Camila Cabello album. Speaking of pr, Whoever was your pr, Fire them, kill them, punch them in the head. And if that was you, don't do that again because that album was great. It was great because of the rollout and its similarities to Brat, especially because of how soon it came off that trail, which I won't even get on her about because that is really all that's like not abnormal when I think about like even Brock Hampton. Like they a lot of their typography work that they were doing immediately was being replicated and that's just natural in art and history. But I feel bad for her because that album is really good.

[C]

It's awesome. She's misunderstood.

[A]

Baby Pink, I think was one of my top listen to songs and the gym's a baby Pink.

[C]

And like I have this whole thing going on with what's the song where she has lemonade in it.

[A]

Baby Pink was my ninth most listened to song on my apple replay. Oh, how about that? I'll do that. I'll give you my 10 songs, my top 10 songs on each weight. But I think I might have already done that for apple music. It was number one was relationships by Heim, which makes me laugh only because one, that song is great. But two, I saw this Tik Tok that was like remember when we were so thirsty after Charlie that we thought it was going to be on summer, which is up cuz I know they're friends but girl, that ain't got nothing to do with me. That shit's mad funny. Do it by Nelly Furtado, Chains of Love by Charlie xcx, which is actually dangerous and very jarring because that song came out so late in the year. So the fact that that was my third most listened to album song says a lot. Beretta by 454 welcome to Hollywood. Beyonce, you started it. Gwen Stefani, Glock, Don Tolliver, Candy Raven, Lyne Baby Pink, Camila Cabello 10 plastic off the sofa and if you're a girl, you know that that tells a wild tale if you're a girl if.

[C]

You were a girl Mine was under your spell Snow strippers Driving on nine, the Breeders losing you Solange Sexy to someone Claro Cannot chase Labby It's a fine day Opus three so Far Away Charlie xcx, I'm so High, Grind Mode and Simply X Tall Aphex twin. Was that 10? No. One more millionaire by Kelis, Kelis, Kelis and Andre 3000.

[D]

Consent to do media.

[C]

Yep. Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

[D]

The entire album. The Heartfelt by Figurine. Have you listened to that, Drew?

[C]

But show me the COVID Cover?

[D]

It's from 2001.

[C]

No. Send this to me.

[D]

I'll send it. It's really good.

[A]

Wait, I want to do my 10 on Spotify because I'm not kidding, my top 10 on both ones crack me up because again, the storytelling that is life is beautiful. Walk a thin line. Fleetwood Mac. Go ask your man Bob Lind. Cry to me. Loliet Lolata Hallway. Do I come? Do I have to come right out and say it? Buffalo Springfield, Borderline Madonna. Tarzana Rosita by Chris Rainbow, which everyone's listening to. Be a woman by him right now on Tick Tock. You're welcome. But tap into that whole album. Tarzana. Rosita is so good. And then the fields nourish by time. After you, Roberta Flack. And I'm like, wow.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, my God. Best year of my life. Life. Sorry, sorry. Is that your only media, Kai?

[D]

It's my only media. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Guys, and I don't know if I've said this yet, but we have a show with Netflix going on on May 9th in LA at the Palace Theater. Tickets and bio.

[A]

You said it three times, period.

[D]

Whoa. Also, have I ever mentioned that I'm directing a standup special on Netflix? Yeah, like so many times I've mentioned that I'm directing a stand up special.

[C]

Wait, what are you directing with Mary.

[D]

Beth It's a stand. It's a comedy stand up special with Mary Beth Barone. We're shooting it in March.

[A]

I want to go over there and lift up your other leg so that you slip down this chair.

[C]

Wait, Kai, what are you doing?

[D]

I'm directing it. Sorry. I knew I was saying something. I was giving her my full attention. I was being 100% present with her and then I. Sorry. So, yeah, I'm directing it. It's a stand up special and it's gonna be. What is it on? Oh, it's gonna be on Netflix.

[C]

And who?

[D]

Mary Beth Barone.

[C]

Okay, when you'll be doing.

[D]

I'll be directing the most important job.

[C]

Okay, cool.

[D]

The 100 most important job.

[A]

I think I would argue her job is the most important one.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

You'd be shocked. You'd be shocked.

[D]

No, I think my job's the most important job. But anyway, it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix?

[C]

That small little dinky thing?

[D]

Yeah. So anyway, if you guys want to watch that, it doesn't come.

[A]

I is wearing an aura ring. And it's all I can look at because I can't believe he's letting.

[C]

I've noticed it for the first time today.

[D]

Well, I don't normally wear it. I usually just wear it for sleep, but my doctor said it might help with. I'm on a med that affects my heart, so I can, like, look at if I have to go down on the medication, which I did, so. Also, remember I lost this inside your butt one time.

[C]

Drew, we don't talk about that, okay? Because I had to get surgery.

[D]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[C]

All right, that was the episode. Guys, peace and love.

[B]

This is Julian Edelman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jewels.

[C]

Sunday mornings, I've got my game day rich ritual.

[B]

Coffee, lucky socks, and now, new morning uncrustable sandwiches.

[D]

It's all about that 12 gram protein boost with the new uncrustables.

[A]

Bright eyed berry or up and apple flavors.

[B]

Bright eye Berries got a feisty receiver.

[A]

Energy up an apple.

[D]

Your classic do it all tight end.

[B]

Soft, pillowy, packed with protein, and easy enough enough for Grunk to grab from the freezer.

[D]

Whether you're on the couch, driving to the tailgate or heading to the locker room, New morning uncrustable sandwiches are the MVP of snacks.

[B]

Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here with new morning uncrustable sandwiches packed with 12 grams of protein.

[A]

Wasn't that delicious? So good.

[C]

Your bill, ladies. I got it.

[A]

No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash.

[C]

Credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases.

[A]

Okay. Rock, paper scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. No the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card.

[C]

Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms apply with Venmo Stash A taco in one hand.

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And ordering a ride in the other.

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Nice.

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