big oiled up twerking b00ty compilation

Summary

Emergency Intercom - Episode Summary: "Big Oiled Up Twerking B00ty Compilation"

Release Date: September 22, 2023
Hosts: Enya Umanzor (Kai) and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: A comedic take on urgent yet humorous topics, blending absurdity with sharp wit.

---

1. Introduction and Setting the Tone (01:21 - 02:22)

The episode kicks off with Kai welcoming listeners in a slightly confused manner, highlighting the chaotic nature of their conversations. Drew immediately dives into a humorous rant about "40 ops," referencing friends and their antics.

• Kai: "When you said it, it sounded like gibberish. And if I was, for instance, running and listening to the podcast, I would be so confused and disoriented why you sounded like that." (01:28)

2. The Rapture and Apocalyptic Theories (02:22 - 04:49)

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Drew's oddly specific theory that the world will end on September 23, 2023, coinciding with biblical rapture events. The hosts humorously debate the logistics and implications of such an event.

• Drew: "The world is gonna end on September 23, 2023." (02:51)
• Kai: "Jesus is gonna come down and rapture all of us." (04:34)

They explore scenarios like Jesus ascending in major cities and the synchronization of media portraying apocalypse themes, blending religious references with pop culture.

3. Alien Conspiracies and Media Portrayals (04:49 - 14:47)

Transitioning from religious apocalyptic theories, the conversation shifts to alien conspiracies. The hosts discuss alleged alien discoveries, skepticism about their authenticity, and the often bizarre elements surrounding such claims.

• Kai: "But the original Blade Runner was set in 2019." (06:40)
• Drew: "We need oiled up twerking compilations on our timeline." (10:30)

They mock the sensationalism in media, such as the President of Mexico's involvement in UFO revelations, and lampoon the absurdity of expecting evidence like aliens with "oiled up booty."

4. Tipping Etiquette and Waitstaff Experiences (24:00 - 34:08)

Shifting gears, the hosts delve into the social dynamics of tipping, sharing personal anecdotes about interactions with waitstaff. They highlight the frustration of poor service and societal expectations around generosity.

• Kai: "I was making that story up and I don't know where it was going... I just got up and walked out." (28:03)
• Drew: "Why do women be mean to women?" (25:00)

The discussion extends to a specific incident at Sugar Factory, where children were irresponsibly served alcohol, prompting moral outrage and humorous takes on handling such situations.

5. Sexual Revolution and Fetish Discussions (35:00 - 45:26)

A lighthearted yet edgy segment explores topics like foot fetishes and furries. The hosts debate the normalization and societal perceptions of unconventional interests, blending humor with candid opinions.

• Drew: "I think foot fetishes are normalized... There's a connection in the brain where the sex center is next to the foot center." (38:00)
• Kai: "I think furries are demonized... They're braver than the Marines." (35:30)

They balance playful mockery with occasional insights into human psychology, emphasizing the podcast's comedic essence.

6. Automotive Humor: The Antenna Conundrum (41:00 - 43:50)

Kai expresses sudden embarrassment over the antenna on his car, leading to a comical debate about car design and the unnecessary presence of antennas in modern vehicles.

• Kai: "I immediately got so humiliated because my car has a nasty little antenna on top of it." (41:21)
• Drew: "Why do they put it in like the tail light or something?" (43:38)

This segment showcases the hosts’ ability to find humor in everyday annoyances, maintaining the episode's light-hearted tone.

7. Social Media Phenomena and Influencer Commentary (46:00 - 50:23)

The conversation shifts to TikTok influencers, specifically Jeffree Star, discussing the monetization of live streaming and the absurdity of internet fame.

• Drew: "Jeffree star... he's making $15,000 a day on TikTok live streams." (50:01)
• Kai: "But it's so insane." (50:23)

They critically yet humorously analyze the dynamics of social media fame, highlighting the juxtaposition between genuine talent and popularity metrics.

8. Media Recommendations and Nostalgia (54:25 - 60:45)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts share their favorite media from the week, including music albums and TV shows, fostering a sense of camaraderie and nostalgia.

• Drew: "Listen to 'Vespertine' by Bjork... it's the best album." (55:32)
• Kai: "Suzanne by Leonard Cohen... It's nice, like jazzy ambient." (57:25)

They conclude with enthusiastic endorsements of beloved artists and series, inviting listeners to engage with their curated tastes.

9. Closing Remarks and Final Banter (60:45 - End)

The episode wraps up with playful banter about personal experiences and inside jokes, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and irreverence.

• Drew: "What I'm going to do is tell you something." (49:15)
• Kai: "Hello. I'm Champion." (29:44)

---

Notable Quotes:

• Drew on Apocalypse: "The world is gonna end on September 23, 2023." (02:51)
• Kai on Rapture Scenario: "I imagine the Rapture looks like a tailgate." (08:15)
• Drew on Alien Media: "Aliens probably already look at us and think that's why they're not here." (10:50)
• Kai on Tipping Waitstaff: "Why girls, and especially people who perform sexual acts, ... I tip well." (24:42)
• Drew on Foot Fetishes: "Some people develop fetish because the neurons like crossfire." (37:44)
• Kai on Social Media: "I need to take your shoes off. We're a no shoe household." (38:16)
• Drew on TikTok Earnings: "He's making more money doing TikTok live streams than he ever did on YouTube." (50:24)
• Kai on Media and Nostalgia: "Suzanne by Leonard Cohen... I listen to it every time I'm in the sauna." (58:29)

---

Conclusion:

"Big Oiled Up Twerking B00ty Compilation" is a quintessential episode of Emergency Intercom, blending off-the-cuff humor with absurd discussions on apocalyptic theories, alien conspiracies, social norms, and personal anecdotes. Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips deliver a lively, unpredictable conversation that keeps listeners entertained through its eclectic topics and sharp comedic timing. Whether debating the likelihood of the rapture or mocking social media phenomena, the hosts maintain a cohesive comedic narrative that aligns perfectly with the podcast's irreverent and humorous spirit.

Transcript

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[Drew]

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[Kai]

Wow. Welcome to this episode of Emergency. I said it.

[Drew]

Welcome to this episode of and you.

[Kai]

When you said it, it sounded like gibberish. And if I was, for instance, running and listening to the podcast, I would be so confused and disoriented why you sounded like that.

[Drew]

Okay, like you're being like, so right now, guys, I have 40 ops. It's gotten up to 40. Okay, I'll like name like the prominent ones that you might know. India, Orion Kai. All three ops. Luna is my biggest op right now.

[Kai]

Mind you, if you are unaware, that is an infant who is not even 1 years old.

[Drew]

She's offing so fucking hard right now. Like, she won't smile at me anymore.

[Kai]

Okay. I almost just was like, oh my God, Luna's gonna turn one soon. She doesn't turn one until like February. Yeah, so it's far.

[Drew]

Also, we. We had like six or seven shots of tequila.

[Kai]

Oh my God, my head is already hurting. I'm gonna wake up at 5pm so fucked up.

[Drew]

So if I get naked on the pod, when I drink tequila, I get naked. Let's just say that I'll get really naked for you guys.

[Kai]

It's actually insane. I haven't seen you touch alcohol in so long. Like, I mean, I saw you have a drink, but I think. I don't even think you finished it. You faked it out. You just like, didn't want to be left out.

[Drew]

I don't.

[Kai]

Birthday party.

[Drew]

I don't with that anymore. No, I. I had like half of a shot at Orion's birthday party because I was like, I'm gonna be crazy. And it gave me a headache immediately.

[Kai]

But yeah, because it's poison.

[Drew]

It is literally poisoning your body. It is the devil. The world is ending on September 23, 2023.

[Kai]

And like, believes this, by the way, anytime I've spoken to him about something. Oh, actually this is a good leeway of you and how you navigate emotional interactions, which you've gotten better with over time. You are a good person to talk to about like, like emotionally tumultuous events. Also me saying that word I heard someone the other day say at a cafe to a friend. And the friend goes, okay, what the does that mean? And they didn't know what tumultuous meant. And the friend was like, oh, it's like, oh, wow. Like, she was like. She was like, it's. I mean, you can't use context clues. And then they just like went back and forth over it and she was like. It just was like, you know, like really hard. Like you're busy, but like, something's like really weighing down on you. But like, like she just started describing and I was like, that's like, not the best definition to give your friend. But yeah, it's like literally just like hard times. But hard times going to make you laughing, running, even cry. Hard times. Whoa. We hit that second. We hit that last one together.

[Drew]

I've been getting good at harmonizing. Cuz in the midnight McDonald's, there's that spot when that part in the video.

[Kai]

Where you are drunk. What's wrong with you? But Drew, while I was talking to him about something that's going on in my life, he goes, it's okay because the world's going to end on the 23rd, so you should just do whatever. And he has said that to me four times this past week.

[Orion]

So that to me, what. What happens on the 23rd?

[Drew]

Okay, it's essentially the rapture. It's like everyone at Midnight on @ McDonald's 22nd is gonna hear a loud clap, a loud boom. It's gonna echo and reverberate through everyone's ears. I know what's happening. This is weird. Yeah, it's Jesus Christ working. It's his fat stink.

[Kai]

Christ is gonna come down to earth, oil up his ass and clap.

[Drew]

Okay, we need more oiled up toward compilations on my timeline. I'VE been saying, like, we need oiled up twerking compilations, like, bad. Like, I've been, like, fending for it. But yeah, Jesus is gonna come down and rapture all of us. And yeah, the world is gonna end.

[Kai]

What does rapture even mean? Like, that's like, he's gonna take us back.

[Drew]

Yeah, the praying souls. But you're okay if you're not a religious person or you don't practice religion. You're good. Like, don't forget, Jesus loves every single one of you.

[Kai]

Drew is actually scared. Drew's a little scared.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. Okay, like, let me. Let me correct this. I see it on my feed and I'm like, okay, like, you're being absolutely insane. And then they'll, like, run through all of the predictive programming of September 23rd through all of the fucking shows, like, and movies and all the shit that we've been seeing and meteors hitting the earth, world ending, war starting, like, all that shit. And. And all the movies we watch happens on September 23, 2023. Well, when I see that, I'm like, huh, that's actually really curious and a weird coincidence. But then I remember that none of that's real and we're all going to be okay. But then the other night, I was sitting in my bed and I had just, like, a lot of anxiety and I was doom scrolling and I was scrolling and one of them came up on my feed and it was like, really, really eerie. And I was like, oh, wait, what if this shit is real? And I just started, like, thinking about it in my head, like, processing, like, what life would be like if that did actually happen. But, like, it's not going to. But it did freak me out for half a second.

[Orion]

True. What are you talking about? Like, literally, you're like. One of them came up on my feed. What? We don't know what you're talking.

[Drew]

Oiled up Torque Compilation.

[Kai]

Oh, so all these messages have been hidden in Torque Compilation?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Kai]

Oh, okay. Wow.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

This is like when. If. Because Blade Runner is set in 2019, this would be the equivalent of people being like, 2019. Like, was. Something big is gonna happen. But I guess, like, Blade Runner was at the end of the world. They just for some reason thought in 30 years the world would look like Blade Runner.

[Drew]

Yeah, I mean, and I bet it.

[Kai]

Will, I guess, in like 40 years.

[Orion]

Wait. Oh, yeah. What's the number? Is it 2923?

[Kai]

Well, there's 2049. There's Blade Runner. 2049.

[Orion]

Okay. Okay.

[Kai]

And but the original Blade Runner was set in 2019.

[Drew]

I believe that, but I think it.

[Kai]

Was made in like the 80s.

[Orion]

Oh.

[Kai]

So it kind of like.

[Drew]

I can fix that. I can fix that.

[Kai]

Is that like from Blade Runner?

[Drew]

Touch me.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was made in 1982, so they thought that in 2019.

[Drew]

The world.

[Kai]

Would look like that. But iPhones and Charlie d' Amelio.

[Drew]

There'S gonna prophet for like three years after who like leads the civilization out of this slump, but it's actually the Antichrist. So like watch out for the Elon Musks and the Mark Zuckerbergs of the world.

[Kai]

Like they're gonna lead us out of what?

[Drew]

The Rapture. The hard times. It's going to be like World War Three.

[Kai]

Wait, so wait, the Rapture is hard times or it's good times times?

[Drew]

It's going to be okay cuz we're always taken up.

[Orion]

Isn't the Rapture is good if you've been good and you get to go to heaven? Right.

[Kai]

When I imagine the Rapture, everybody's good. You know what I imagine? Like, you know, outside of football games, when people who didn't get tickets to stand outside with their pickup trucks like cooking and like, what is that called?

[Drew]

Tailgate.

[Kai]

Tailgate. I imagine the Rapture looks like a tailgate. Does that make sense? Like that's kind of like what the vibe is for me. Like everybody stands outside and starts like a cookout or like a barbecue and they're like, God's coming. Like God's coming. That's kind of the vibe, right? I would get up for like the arrival of Jesus. Like I wouldn't want to be sober. That would, that would be really traumatizing because also me and Orion have talked about that. And what does that look like is like when Jesus comes back, is he like cloned a million times over? So he shows up at everyone's doors like a Jehovah witness? Or does he just like fall from the sky? But he would have to be so big for everyone around the earth to see him. Like people on the other side of the Earth. Like what? Some people are seeing the back of his head. Some people are seeing his bulge. Like how? How? Like, like, like, have you ever thought about that? Like, how does he.

[Orion]

Yeah, like where is he projected in the sky?

[Drew]

Like it's an omnipresent simulation that we all see separately. It's not going to be physical beings. Oh, I just made that up.

[Kai]

I was going to say. Cuz then I would just feel like I was literally Hallucinating. I'd be like, oh, here it comes. Like, I'm having a break. It's finally happening. But have you all thought about that? Like, what is he?

[Orion]

Like, yeah, I always imagined it for whatever reason, like in the middle of.

[Drew]

America, every alien invasion, it in the middle of.

[Orion]

I'm like, oh yeah, Jesus will arrive in Iowa.

[Kai]

Yeah. It's literally like the Book of Mormon. When they're like, like every great religious thing has ever that's ever happened was in America, right?

[Orion]

Like we saw it here.

[Kai]

Like where else would it be? That is kind of crazy. Literally every alien attack happens in America. Like we can't even fathom it happening somewhere else. Cuz we're like, they would have no idea how to handle that. We on the other hand, we got it covered. It's gonna drop down in Seattle. Like it has to be here. It's also only major cities. As if the aliens would be like, okay, we need to go to Miami. Like, we need to go to Miami.

[Drew]

Like, we need to see oiled up booties twerking in Miami. That's what we. Okay, you know how they sent that gold disc to outer space? We need to resend it back out. That like if a alien finds it's like transmuting like radio signals, like playing music, whatever. If they find it, they can scan it and see like a video of like it's basically a QR code in space. They see like a video Earth. We need to put all the twerking booty compilations on.

[Kai]

We need to put that. But we also need to put only our greatest freaks on it though. We need to put like Bjork and like Daniel Larson.

[Orion]

Daniel Larson.

[Kai]

But like, do you see what I say? Like we get, we should put like artists on it that make like the weirdest shit ever. So that if there's a chance, if aliens are real, they're like, damn, they are mad weird. We're not going there. Like, we're not going.

[Drew]

They probably already look at us and think that that's why they're not here. Oh, those little critters that Mexico revealed as aliens. Those were actually cake. They cut into them and they were actually cake.

[Kai]

Yeah, I was going to say, where was that? Did you said that in the group chat?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, they were actually cake, which we found out, which is very weird. No, for like half a second I was like, I want to believe, so I'm going to believe. And even though I didn't believe, but like, girl, like, that is not real. Those aren't real. Like, those aren't. Wait, play the music with it. Oh, yeah, I've been taping my mouth to go to sleep at night.

[Kai]

Yeah, the little aliens aren't real. Also, like, them, like, putting them in the box with some dirt at the bottom. It's literally like kids getting caught in a lie and then being like, oh, like, dude, if you put the dirt, like, okay, okay, think about this. They need the dirt. So, like, if anybody asks, like, if they were in there without the dirt that we found them in, it would be like, oh, my God. Like, why. Why are they, like, so clean cut and fresh? Like, they need the dirt. Like, why did they put the dirt under the alien in the box? And whose idea was that? Who was like, oh, and then we're going to scoop a little bit of the dirt under them so it looks like we just found them like, in the dirt.

[Drew]

Also, the dude who spearheaded, like, the whole reveal also, like, the president of Mexico literally believes in gnomes and has posted on his Facebook page pictures. Ye.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's literally like, it's like a Mexican superstition. But he goes hard for it.

[Drew]

He believes it. So I'm like, in. The dude that spearheaded the whole reveal is like a notorious, like, UFO grifter. So, like, none of that is real. And it's funny, but, like, their story was straight. Like, they got it down pat. Like the diatomaceous algae, like, covering them and like, solidifying over a thousand years ago. But, like. Yeah, right. Yeah, right.

[Orion]

I think they ran it through an MRI or something.

[Drew]

And metal plates.

[Orion]

Yeah, there's metal plates and bones, but it's all just bones from other animals.

[Drew]

Yeah, the llama school. Yeah. Yeah. I saw also that, like, the metal plate. It's like a metal that, like, we use, which this was. This is when I didn't believe because I was like, this is two on the nose and this is like two sci fi. But it's like there's like a metal plate in its chest and it's like this alloy that, like, we use in our satellites. And they're like, inferring that these aliens have satellites and that's how they communicate in their chest. But I want to see the butthole. Like, I want to see the aliens just thinking.

[Kai]

I was like, why don't any aliens have tits?

[Drew]

Well, we need to, like, we need.

[Kai]

To give them tits.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like, I want to see an alien.

[Drew]

With some big boobs, oiled up booty.

[Kai]

Yeah. And they. And they live in space. So, like, you know, those tits are sitting perky. So we need to see. Yeah, we need. I need a video of an alien space. Yeah, we can get that. I just don't believe in aliens anyway. So I'm like, y' all are literally insane. Like, that's what happens when there's like nothing happening. Is there? Like, what should we talk about? Aliens. Oh, but I was saying.

[Drew]

Operation.

[Kai]

I was saying to Drew that it's becoming like a power play game. Like, I think every country is going to start. Yeah, it's literally like the. Every country is going to start using, like, their findings of aliens as like a power play. Like, oh, you think you have aliens? We've had aliens for forever, but we just didn't want to show y' all cuz y' all were going to get scared. And like, I think every country is going to start being like, actually we found something too. Like, I did. I did too. Like, I have that too. Like, it's literally kids at school, when they show off, like, good stationary, it's like, well, I have that too. Like, I.

[Drew]

Like, that's not even like, to the market. Like, that's why their review was so shitty, was because they were first to the market. But yeah, it's the Space Race 2.0. People are trying to like, get on. On it early, like profit. But also there was an airplane that disappeared. Another one, a fighter.

[Kai]

Wait, really?

[Drew]

It was a fighter jet?

[Orion]

Is it on camera?

[Drew]

No, but. Oh, yeah, we never showed any of the video of the Malaysia flight disappearing. Like, they have satellite footage that leaked of it and it actually like. Like, you're talking about the orbs? Yeah, yeah. I like, take everything with a grain of salt because, like, technology has gotten really crazy. But I had seen that video floating around like a few years ago, two years ago or something, and I just wrote it off. But then, like, the more I looked at it, I was like, this like, looks real and this would be really hard to create. But like, I. I don't believe any alien reveal videos. Like, none of them. They're all. They're all fake. Cuz I could literally do it on blender in my bedroom. Like, I literally could figure it out. Like, y' all are all lying and Corridor Digital did one. But anyways, a fighter jet disappeared and the United States was like begging the population to go find this jet for them. Like, no. Like, don't you have like, GPS is inside of that or something? Like, why? Okay, sorry. I love.

[Kai]

Sorry. I'm like, you.

[Drew]

My name is Drew.

[Kai]

You need to show me that video because you can't bring up Something about a plane. And, like, I need to see it. Like, I need to see it.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Also, this thumbnail is cracking me up because, like, why am I. Like, I wish this is what it was. That would be like, it was just, like, underwater. Just, like, fully in peak screenshot.

[Drew]

That. What would I look up for that.

[Kai]

Kai shit Like this, like, is crazy, though, because, like, this YouTube video using this thumbnail is so gnarly because it. I mean, this is like, any video that has to do with people who literally lost their lives. Like, that cracks me up because I'm like, why would you even edit this photo and have humans standing around the wheel, like, insinuating that, like, there. It's just, like, fully in, like, tagged somewhere. Like.

[Drew]

So apparently it's like satellite footage, which we do have satellite, like, in the 60s. This is what freaks me out is, like, the technology we had in the 60s. Like, we could take pictures from outer space of, like, a coffee cup in France. Like, essentially, like. And that was, like, years and years and years ago. Like, they have crazier, like. And that's tea. Like, this would be hard to fake.

[Kai]

You think so?

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, see, that's where it gets funky. But then I'm like, oh, but they're supposed to be aliens and moving at, like, warp speed. And then this is the part that gets me every time where I'm like. Crosses my suspension of disbelief. I don't think it happened yet. Oh, yeah, That's.

[Kai]

If one of my family members was on that damn plane and people were still talking about it like this, I'd be like, let it go. Y' all made the Netflix show. You do the videos, you do the YouTube, like, leave my family alone, dude. That is so insane. Yeah. I don't know that I believe that. But also, like, I understand it's kind of like, with religion, but not to bring it back to religion, but, like, things like that is. I think humans have a hard time, like, grieving and understand catastrophe, so it's easier to theorize all the different ways it could have gone down because it makes it easier, especially when it's an inexplainable. When you don't have a conclusion, your mind can only go so far. And that's what all science is, and that's why science isn't real.

[Orion]

I've thought about. I feel like since there isn't. I don't actually believe nearly as much religion now, obviously, as there has been throughout all of human history. Whenever I see a video like that, there's some mechanism in My brain, that's like, oh, yeah, yeah. No, the plane disappeared in a wormhole for sure.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Orion]

And it's just. I feel like it's that part of my brain that, like, desperately wants to.

[Drew]

Put the blame somewhere to explain.

[Orion]

Exactly. I want to believe in, like, a higher power or something.

[Drew]

Why is that, like. Like, part of the human experience is, like, needing, like, a higher power? Obviously, it's because, like, life is suffering and, like, every. Every aspect of life is hell in pain. But, like, that's obviously why we have beauty, like, not whatever. Like, that's why there is love. But, like, why do we need to put the blame somewhere? Is it, like, primal brain syndrome or something?

[Kai]

I think it's, like, beyond that. It's like, we genuinely, as animals, shouldn't have the capacity to think that deeply.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And it's. It's like a. Like a protection. Like, instinct. It's like an instinct to be. Like. It's literally just like, oh. Oh, my God. That is so scary. But God's here. Hi, God.

[Drew]

Literally? Yeah. Like, build that wall. Like, build the wall.

[Kai]

Wait, what? What does that have to do with.

[Drew]

Like, the barrier in your brain?

[Kai]

Oh, no, that's. That has a different connotation.

[Orion]

Yeah, I wouldn't say that.

[Kai]

That is insane. He literally, like, freaking.

[Drew]

Freaking lib tards.

[Kai]

He literally took the. He took the term building a wall and made it bad. Like, like.

[Drew]

Well, it's just like the LGBT taking the rainbow and making it bad.

[Kai]

I'm emotionally, like, cut off right now. So I just, like, had to build the wall.

[Drew]

Mm.

[Kai]

I just had to build the wall back up. I had to build the wall between the autistic.

[Drew]

They're all autistic for, like, becoming so hyper obsessed with. That's their special interest is building that damn wall. Like, let's talk about that.

[Kai]

It's so stupid.

[Drew]

Should we talk about the Alphabet Mafia?

[Kai]

Gay people?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Okay. Why do you call them that?

[Drew]

Because they're all comprised of killers.

[Kai]

Okay. First they took the rainbow, then they took the letters LGBT and Q. Like, what next?

[Drew]

What if I wanted to abbreviate those myself? Like, what if I wanted that abbreviation?

[Kai]

Also, the new religion for our generation is literally just the. Who believe in, like, astrology so badly. Like, literally. Like, that's the new religion. That's why so many of us aren't religious. And it's because.

[Orion]

Sacred geometry and an oiled up torque compilation.

[Drew]

No, that's always been a thing, but it has, like, completely become extremely prevalent. Like, it's completely replaced, like, our Parents.

[Kai]

That was family members who are religious. Like, I have religious family members who will go on Facebook Live and watch like a pastor do like a sermon and like, talk about religion. But on Tick Tock, there's literally, like, people who are constantly doing tarot card readings. They're constantly, like, going through, like, the astrology's, like, things for the week and all that stuff. And it's literally the same thing. Like, you're tuning in, like, hoping that you hear a message that relays to you so you can find comfort in a situation you're going through. And that's what people who like, sit through sermons are doing. They're waiting for, like, the pastor to say something like, everything's going to be okay. That thing that you're going through, that, like, that money that you need, need to pay that bill, that, like, friend that you're hoping to hear from, that person who's sick in your life will be okay. Like, you're literally just listening out for those things that you need to hear for comfort and you.

[Drew]

Which is okay.

[Kai]

Yeah. Which is, like, necessary. It's literally a nest, a necessity for like, everybody. But that's what astrology is. Is like, you sit in because you're like, your crush will text you back. Your postmates will get there in 10 minutes. Me trying to think of, like, hard things.

[Drew]

You go through your postmas.

[Kai]

Problems. Like, your postmates will not.

[Drew]

Will not be like, Will fry your brain. Like, I swear, just give it time.

[Kai]

Your wax pen will get hot enough that some of the. The residue will melt down and you will have one last hit of your pen.

[Drew]

Your girl will be bisexual. She will perform cunnilingus on another woman in front of you. Like, I swear it's going to be okay. Auto Felicia. Y' all ever heard of that?

[Kai]

Yeah, I've heard the term. But isn't it just like, you giving yourself head or. Why is there a picture of Taylor Swift buff on your phone?

[Drew]

Well, I was going to ask if this is. If y' all think this is real.

[Kai]

Actually, that's a good. I don't know. I can't tell.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah, that looks real.

[Kai]

I could see after somebody going on a tour that long.

[Drew]

Just. Bro, she. She got. Yeah, she, like. She cut really hard. Like, she like, got built. It's actually like, honestly really impressive that you can do that on tour while diving into a pool. Like, all that. That's all she's doing.

[Kai]

All she's doing is swimming.

[Drew]

That's really. That's what I heard.

[Kai]

Well, that's Crazy because I've been swimming in your mom.

[Drew]

You haven't.

[Kai]

Coochie. Because she gets so wet and I'm not that buff.

[Drew]

Whoa. Oh, I just. Can I say it? But we might have to bleep it. But it's, like, really horrifying. Yeah, I said, but it's about your mom.

[Kai]

Okay. I got.

[Drew]

No, I don't even want to say it. It's so dark. It's really dark.

[Kai]

I don't care. I don't care.

[Drew]

Okay, well, your mom got so wet. I made your mom so wet that she turned into mud. Like.

[Kai]

No, that's good. That's good. That's good.

[Drew]

That's d that in.

[Kai]

That's really funny. I thought you were going to say you got her so wet you rehydrated her and she's back to life.

[Drew]

I reanimated your mother.

[Kai]

Reanimated her.

[Drew]

Okay, well, should we move on to tipping?

[Orion]

Tipping?

[Drew]

Yeah. I don't know. We had tipping. We. No, we had a conversation.

[Orion]

Cow tipping.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Kai]

I mean, he's from Texas.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, we had a conversation about tipping, and we were like, let's write it down. And I just wrote down that, like, when we tip, we make sure, like, if it's a jar in front, like, I'll wait there for five minutes. Put that in there in front of you.

[Orion]

Have you ever had it where they miss it?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And I'll, like.

[Drew]

Of, like, I'll, like, reach my hand. I'm reaching back in there and pulling it out and dropping a few bills with me.

[Kai]

And I'm just going to make my tip look extremely generous now. I literally had that. The dispensary, even though the girl who was checking me out was literally so mean to me, like. But I think I like, to be clear, I tip all the time. My mom is a waitress. I'm a big tipper. Why do girls, and especially people who perform sexual acts. I mean, I tip well.

[Drew]

Why do women be mean to women? Like, literally, like, y' all are fighting the same battle.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Wow. Why do sexual revolution failed?

[Kai]

Why do women be mean to women? Wow.

[Drew]

It's like I was channeling. I was channeling.

[Kai]

Would you wear.

[Drew]

Nothing came good from being gay or whatever he said.

[Kai]

Oh, wait. But nothing good. Oh, wait, he says it fucked up.

[Drew]

Wait, you know what we're talking about?

[Kai]

No, from being gay, nothing came good.

[Drew]

Yeah, he says some shit like that. Like, he thought he was fucking tearing, but he's just literally. Oh, freak day.

[Kai]

He says.

[Drew]

Gay people does not produce anything Good.

[Kai]

Anything good.

[Drew]

Like you thought.

[Kai]

Hey, gay people does not produce anything. Good people.

[Orion]

Gay people do produce.

[Kai]

Wait, we need to finish this. Oh, wait, this is a quote. Like, I need literally, I need the full thing.

[Drew]

Literally.

[Kai]

Oh, like you agree?

[Drew]

No, it's Kai. But yeah, should me and Kai. Okay, and you actually stay quiet real quick because me and Kai need to have a conversation.

[Kai]

What the.

[Drew]

And if you butt in, like, I'm actually gonna get really pissed. But has the sexual revolution failed for women?

[Orion]

Oh, yeah, we should get into that.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Orion]

Yeah. And yeah, we're just. We're trying to figure.

[Drew]

I'm on the side of no.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, porn.

[Kai]

Like, I mean. Okay, I'm so sorry, but you've spent the whole episode asking for more oiled up twerking booties, and then.

[Drew]

Exactly. That's why it hasn't failed.

[Kai]

Like, because until you see that.

[Drew]

Yeah, once. Once, like, my feet is all oiled up twerking booties. Then it's has failed. But it's like one every three videos. It's like, hello, annoying.

[Kai]

You can't just scroll.

[Drew]

Yeah, it hurts my finger. I've always thought about how much I scroll a day. Like, I have to, like, swipe up, like, I'm not kidding, a mile a day. Like, it's really horrifying.

[Kai]

You know what it was is the iPhones were made for pro fingering girls because you get, like, such good dexterity. Dexterity out of your fingers, and then you become extremely, like, well rounded in terms of fingering.

[Drew]

Actually, a fascinating theory.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

What the hell were we talking about until everybody.

[Kai]

We were talking about gay does not produce anything good. I literally don't know. Oh, tipping. Oh, my God. Actually, that just reminded me in high school once, the first time I ever went to a restaurant alone with my.

[Drew]

Friends, the waiter was literally lying, bro.

[Kai]

Okay? I was. I'm gonna be. I was making that story up and I don't know where it was going, but the first time I ever went to a restaurant alone with my friends, it was TGI Fridays. It was me and three of my friends. We walked in, and the waiter immediately was not fucking with us. We weren't being rowdy. We were, like, practicing, like, being, like, little adults. So we were like, can we get a table for four, please? Like, we were just, like, being nice. But we sat down and he literally, immediately before we even started ordering, goes, I don't even know why I'm serving you guys, because I know you're not gonna tip me. And starts, like, Cleaning in front of us.

[Drew]

How old was he?

[Kai]

He easily. We were like 15, 16. He probably was like 26.

[Drew]

Oh my God. And I say if he's like 18, that's understandable.

[Kai]

No, he. He was like a grown ass man. Like, he like had like the facial hair of somebody who, like, when he has. When he's 30, it's gonna fill in all the way. But he was like 25, 26, like trying out facial hair for the first time. And we were like, what? And then he walks away and comes back with the menu and we're going to order and he literally is like, everything we're doing, he's like, I just can't believe I got left with this table. Like, to us, we literally. But we didn't eat there. We just got up and we were like, you. I hope you die. And then we all just like got up and walked out. But we were like 15, 16, so I can't be held accountable for that.

[Drew]

That's.

[Kai]

Now I would have been like, dude, I swear I'm going to tip you. Just please serve me.

[Drew]

No, that's. That's like when I was like 13 probably, and it was like I was. I was a pretty big kid and I was going trick or treating and we got to this one house and I was so excited. I was like, ooh, this is like one of my final years of trick or treating. Like, I'm already like pushing it, like, whatever. I got to this house and they like looked me and my sister and our two friends up and down and they were like, you're a little too big to be doing this, aren't you? And literally just didn't give us candy. And it scar. I literally did not trick or treat ever again after that day. It was so scarring. Am I. This will have to bleed. Nah, I'll tell y' all later. But like, there's more to this story because, like, they knew my parents in some capacity and like, my mom and dad went like mama and papa bear mode on them. But, like, literally so easy. But they're both dead now, so I won. I did.

[Kai]

Hello, I'm champion.

[Orion]

Did you kill them?

[Kai]

I know, cuz that was. Sounds like it was like a revenge.

[Drew]

Why would you ask me that?

[Kai]

What's going to ruin our friendship is when I post revenge point of view. I think that's going to be the final Shaw.

[Drew]

What? How do you even have that?

[Kai]

You know how I have these glasses, but then my other glasses. Yeah, my other glasses are the Ray Ban Snapchat story. Glasses. And I've been recording when we have sex.

[Drew]

Don't do that, bro.

[Orion]

That's on you. Wondered why she had sunglasses on.

[Kai]

Well, I lied to him and told him that I had just gotten my retinas scanned, and I'm sensitive to light.

[Drew]

Your retina scanned?

[Kai]

I can't say why, but.

[Drew]

Well, please don't post revenge porn of me.

[Kai]

I'm not. I'm not gonna do it now. It's just. Next time you piss me off, think about it. Okay, Next time. Next time I'm rude to you and you want to confront me about it, think about what I have on you.

[Drew]

Well, let's think about what I have on you. Remember for the last 37 nights, I've been oiling up your booty and making you twerk and taking videos of it.

[Kai]

Yeah, but I thought those were for you, because you just don't find them on Instagram.

[Drew]

This is for the private spank bank. Nope. I've started an only fans for you.

[Kai]

If we live together for the next 10 years, it's literally gonna get there. Not in a sexual way, but we're gonna be so goddamn bored.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Someone asked last week, like, what intrus. What's, like, my most common intrusive thought, and for the last week. This is crazy. And it, like, there is nothing behind this other than I think it would be so fudgeing funny. And partially because, like, I do forget sometimes. But after I pee, like, I'll just, like, go wash my hands with my wiener, like, sticking outside of my shorts. I can not pull up my pants all the way. And I always have the thought to walk out here and, like, just expose myself to y' all and be like, oh, like, say I forgot it. Like, we're almost there. We're almost there.

[Kai]

Yeah, we're almost there. Because I've literally done it with my butt cracking, like, half my bush. Yeah, but you've seen me naked. And I'll. But I'll do it to Orion and Drew. Like, I'll walk out with my pants literally so low, and my coochie is half out. And I'm like, this is, I think, the new swag for 2024. And it's, like, crazy. Like. Like, that's not a swag. And I'm like, oh, but look at the back. And, like, my whole ass track is out.

[Drew]

Yeah. And what's fucked up is, like, when I start jerking off, like, when she's doing that, like, I'm the bad guy. Like, you can't put feet in Front of a man, and I expect him not to jerk off.

[Kai]

Oh, feet okay.

[Drew]

In her shoes.

[Kai]

Listen to this.

[Drew]

I have one more thing to add on to the tipping conversation before we move on, but it's kind of a little tangent, and I just want to hear your reaction to this, but this mom took, like, a birthday party full of kids. Like, I think, like, it was, like, 17 kids or something like that to the Sugar Factory.

[Kai]

I saw.

[Drew]

And. Okay, so you already know, but basically what happened was the sugar factory is notorious for, like, their alcoholic drinks. And they were just serving alcoholic drinks to these children, and they all were all drunk, and they were all, like, passed out, like, hella fudged up. And I just, like, I'm sorry. I would tip.

[Kai]

Oh, okay. That's what you're asking is like, would I tip or not? Yeah, I would tip because I'm like, cool, the kids are asleep. I'm gonna throw them in the van and take them home.

[Drew]

Was pissed.

[Kai]

Yeah. Imagine, like, taking your kids.

[Drew]

You're supposed to protect them.

[Kai]

It's, like, embarrassing because she was the adult supervisor of a bunch of other kids that weren't her kids. So it's literally the worst thing ever. Like, imagine having to call your homegirl and being like, hey, so Jesse's. I'm gonna drop Jesse off at home, but you're gonna notice a difference in her attitude. She will be slurring and falling over the. All over the place. And it is because she got drunk at Sugar Factory. We got her up at Sugar Factory. Like, I would be so humiliated to have to make that call. I' honestly just lie and be like, dude, your daughter's crazy. She took a Xanax. Like, yeah, you need to get that thing under control. But I would also just sue the. At a sugar Factory.

[Drew]

I think they might have.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

In the process.

[Kai]

That's about. How was the waiter literally looking at that table and be like, oh, yeah, they want alcoholic.

[Drew]

I think they, like, switched them out or something. There was, like, more to the story, but, like, when the waiter found out, like, they were getting served alcoholic beverages, they, like, grabbed them all away from them immediately and, like, ran to the back and, like, tried to correct the situation, but I don't think it was fully the waiter's fault.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. That is so insane.

[Drew]

But that's what you get for going to Sugar Factory.

[Kai]

I know. I can't believe people are still going to Sugar Factory.

[Drew]

I've never been, and I really want.

[Kai]

To go, should we go? But, oh, we've actually thought about Going. But we've literally, on the podcast, actually have looked up Sugar Factory, but all the ones in LA are closed. You would have to go to Las Vegas. But Sugar Factory is having a comeback because I keep seeing it all over the place. So maybe they'll reopen the ones in la.

[Drew]

I have a note in my podcast notes that I just looked at, and I was, like, trying so hard to figure out what I meant by this. Iced oat milk, cortado, simple syrup, Asian chicken salad. But when we went to Jones, I wrote it down in the podcast notes and I was like, dude, like, what am I trying to say here?

[Kai]

But it's just my order. Order. Well, this is a conversation me and Drew started off camera. I was saying that foot fetishes need to be normalized because it's not that crazy.

[Drew]

Like, they're fairly normalized, but, like, I.

[Kai]

I think the mass majority still, like, ill feet. Like, you got your dogs out. Like, I think it's normalized in a way of, like, for free. Like, that's, like, a thing. But it's not, because it's not because people are like, oh, it's like, normal.

[Drew]

To, like, India has a foot fetish is what she said.

[Kai]

I do. I would suck on the toes of the. Right.

[Drew]

No, I don't think we need to normalize that.

[Kai]

But then you said we need to normalize furries first, and that makes no fucking sense because we're talking about normalizing a human body part versus people who get in fucking animal costumes and.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, I think furries are demonized. Obviously, there's bad, but there's bad and a lot of good and everywhere. But I think, like, furries are, like, they're. They're braver than the Marines. Like, I really do commend them. I'm not a furry. Could never be a furry. I do want a first.

[Kai]

I'm not a Furry. I fucking hate them. They're disgusting. But.

[Drew]

But the. The, like, conventions, like, the bug furries, those are sick. Like, the moth ones and the critters.

[Kai]

When they freak it, are fire. Like, the commitment to it is fire. But then I think about, like, actually, you know what? No. Maybe in this one conversation, you're changing my mind. What I will say is, like, if I had to choose between having sex with, like, a random person who has, like, no interest and no passions versus having sex with a furry, that furry is about to fudge me crazy. Like, that is going to be some crazy. Like, you know, furries are fudgeing. Like, anybody with a passion that fudgeing, like intense is fudgeing.

[Drew]

I have so many passions, like so many passions that I love.

[Kai]

You want to prove it in the bedroom, my love?

[Drew]

Yes. No, but yeah, I think foot fetishes are normalized. I think they are a thing. And I think it's just like, I think true equality is when you can make fun of something. And being able to make fun of foot fetishes I think just makes it so like it's hella normalized. Also, like I, there's like some like, like connection in the brain where like the sex center of your brain is right next to like the foot center or something. So like sometimes those like neurons like crossfire. And that's why some people develop fetish, I think. So like obviously like I saw one, I, I actually did see an article on it. This wasn't me watching a tick tock.

[Kai]

Watching a tick tock and saying. You read an article, literally classic, classic 20 something year old vibes foot fetish. Did you just have to spell foot out loud to type it right?

[Drew]

Yeah. It occurs in the part of the brain called the somatosensory cortex, which is the area that makes you feel things. Apparently this part of the brain is right next to the part of the brain that controls your feet and toes. So it like crossfires the neurons, blah, blah, blah. And that's why some people develop.

[Kai]

Dude, that's why I can't stop looking at your feet. Can you take your shoes off? We're a no shoe household. And no socks. We've become a no shoe and no sock household because your socks can pick up dirt from your house and them into my house.

[Drew]

So being a no sock household would be so nasty on like hard floors.

[Kai]

You need to take your bare feet out immediately. I actually love this.

[Drew]

Take some dogs out.

[Kai]

I love the sound of feet hitting a floor, like walking around. It's literally so funny. No, because it's funny. It's like duck feet. Like our feet literally are like. Yeah, like it's so funny that like our feet just like make sounds like we literally as humans, like nobody can be silent. Like everything you do, like there is a sound to it.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, I mean you never hear me when I sneak into your bedroom at night and watch you sleep.

[Kai]

Well, that's cuz I'm a heavy sleeper, but sometimes I do peek my eye open a little bit and I see you and then I'm like, oh my.

[Drew]

God, like I've said this a hundred million times. But Inya in the morning when she wakes Up. She has, like, zero control over her body. And, like, she stomps through the house like, she.

[Kai]

Like, I'm just heavy footed.

[Drew]

As literally, like, as like this.

[Kai]

If I was in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I'd be done.

[Drew]

Game is a key.

[Kai]

Like, if I was in Fortnite and somebody had their, like, visual audio thing on, you know how it's like the little feet when they're walking around you. My sounds would be like humongous feet.

[Drew]

Walking around like an earthquake.

[Kai]

If you had to. If you ever had to walk into a room full of everyone you've ever met, who would you look for first?

[Drew]

You.

[Kai]

Me?

[Drew]

100% you.

[Kai]

I think it would be you, too. When I thought of it, it was you first. And then I was like, that's a hard question, though, because, like. Like, it would depend on how I'm feeling. Like, not how I'm feeling. Because, like, I. I would be, like, really stuck between looking for you or Ryan. But I think that includes your family, too. Like, it's literally like, everybody, you know, if it was everybody you've ever met, who would you go in looking for?

[Drew]

But I think without second thought, it would be you, because I'm just literally so like, used to you. Like, I've been away from my family for, like, a few.

[Kai]

That's what I was thinking, too.

[Drew]

Like, it's literally just like, oh, where's, like, in your. Like, where's Josh? Like, where my people. Like, I always think about that, like, into the world situation. Like, I would collect you. I would collect Josh, and I would collect aul, and we'd get in one of yalls car and, like, drive across the country and, like, drop off everywhere.

[Kai]

I know that's, like, my biggest thing. When I think of, like, the apocalypse and the world ending, I'm like, dude, like, I hate that I wouldn't be with y' all, too, but I need to be with my family, like, because of just like. Like, I want. I love my family. But when I read that, I was like, damn. I was like, try. I thought of you. And then I was like, no, it should be like, my dad. Like, that's why I should look at four first. But just the reality is, like, I don't think I would, like, look for my dad first. I would look for you, which is.

[Drew]

Would you look for.

[Orion]

Oh, I would look for your mom.

[Kai]

So that I could bang one last time.

[Orion]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Well, that's funny you say that, because in the room of everybody met, if I was with Drew's mom in the room we'd already be banging.

[Drew]

Well, what's funny?

[Kai]

So you get your heart broken for no reason.

[Drew]

And what also is funny? In a room with all the women that I've had sex with, Your mom would be the only one in there. But it's, like, a thousand times.

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

She's like, we've had sex a thousand times.

[Orion]

Okay.

[Kai]

Oh, okay.

[Orion]

Yeah.

[Kai]

You've only had sex with his mom.

[Drew]

No. No. What?

[Kai]

Also, me and Drew have realized, or I realized. The other day when I was going to get in my car, I looked at my car, and I immediately got so humiliated because my car has a nasty little antenna on top of it.

[Drew]

I forgot about that.

[Kai]

It was freaking me the out because I saw it with a friend, and I was like, has that always been on there? And she was like, yeah, that's always been there. And I was like, there's no way. My car has always had that goddamn antenna on top. I got so embarrassed, I contemplating going and ripping it off the top of my car because it was. Was so humiliating. And then when we were driving, we kept looking, and every car has, like, a little nub or antenna.

[Drew]

I was, like, eye blind to it. Like, I like, nose blind to seeing antennas. Like, I literally, like, it was freaking me the out. And there's so many different, like, variations and shapes. There's, like, nubs, and then there's nubs with a stick, which those are horrifying. The nubs with the.

[Kai]

Mine has a nub with the stick.

[Drew]

Those. I hate those. And then the tall ones that are, like, on the hood of trucks. Those are those.

[Kai]

To have that. Because, like, that, like. Like, I need to get my truck so I can have that tall antenna and put a little thingy. Like, I'll put an LGBT flag on it for Drew, because I'm usually going to be driving around with Drew.

[Drew]

No. When we were talking about it, like, my capitalistic, rotten brain, like, was like, oh, my God, like, we need to start, like, a new, like, antenna, like, head bob business. Like, you know how people would put, like, the jack.

[Kai]

Yeah, I know. That's not a thing anymore.

[Drew]

I was like, we need to restart that.

[Kai]

Like, we should make emergency intercom little nubs.

[Drew]

That would be fire. That would be really fire.

[Kai]

But it's disgusting. And. But then it had me thinking. I was like, damn people who design cars and just, like, design objects for everyday use in general. You have to be really good at it for it to be a widely adopted design. And those are such good designs, because I've had that car for Five years. And not once have I ever looked at it and seen that stupid, nasty tail nub ass antenna.

[Drew]

Like, why don't they put it in like the tail light or something like that?

[Kai]

Why do we even need that? This. This can do more than what my car can do with that antenna. And this doesn't have an antenna. Like, why do we have an antenna?

[Drew]

The phone talking to the antenna be like, I can do anything. You can do better.

[Orion]

Actually, technically your phone does have an antenna, but.

[Kai]

But it's not sticking out of it like a nasty wiener. Kai. That's what I meant. Kai. Oh, boo. I gotta go into detail, for God.

[Drew]

And you got body bodied. And you got bodied, but you know what I mean?

[Kai]

Like, that is internal. Why the does mine have like a little chub? Like my car has a chub. Like, it's so nasty.

[Drew]

It's got a little boner. Okay, well, I got a couple more.

[Kai]

Who uses the radio? Why does it. Why does it need that for the radio?

[Drew]

Like, you're being.

[Kai]

You're being classist and you're being classic for the radio. But every time I listen to the radio in my car, it is always staticky. It has never been a clear signal. Pisses me off. Sorry.

[Drew]

You're beautiful when you're angry.

[Kai]

Because I'm passionate.

[Drew]

Okay. I wrote down I got so lucky to experience. Never mind. That one's gay. I'll just tell you that one in private. Wait, this one?

[Kai]

Oh, no, that's sweet. Why did you write that?

[Drew]

Just because I thought about it and I like, was like, literally, like. That's so real. Like, I literally do. I literally do. I'm saving that one for me and in. Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, it was really sweet, guys. But I know he did. He showed me that because he wants to hit later. I know it. I just know.

[Drew]

That's why I'll let Kai read it. Jeffree star goes live.

[Kai]

I farted.

[Drew]

Insert wing.

[Orion]

But it sounded exactly like a fart. Was that your phone?

[Kai]

Yeah, it was my phone. I don't know why it made such a strange sound.

[Drew]

Y' all ever get the PS5 controller and put it on your clitoris?

[Kai]

Okay, actually, I was saying the other day, I said the other day, I literally was like, I'm gonna make an attachment to. Wait, I think I said it on the podcast. I'm gonna make an attachment to the PS5 controller that has like a little stick that goes down there. But then it would be really bad for your brain. Yeah, it would be bad for your brain because then, like, what you're running away from someone in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and they're literally killing you. And then, like, your brain would be getting stimulated in that way, and you're seeing that. And that's how we have so many fucking killers, is because the porn industry is so fudgeing, gnarly and disgusting and teaches you to have signaling for abuse to sexual events. And it's really gnarly, and it's disgusting.

[Drew]

Ellen DeGeneres saves money on, makes a.

[Kai]

Billion on her edit. It's really good that they did that idea. That's really good that they did that.

[Drew]

No, but you just know you tour. But I was going to say Jeffree star goes live every day. Okay. So I know all of y' all have probably noticed.

[Kai]

Wait, I'm sorry. But I do need to clarify that, like, it's. I saw people the other day being like, why do they keep saying Disneyland and Mardi Gras? And it's gone. It's gone too far. Where we're taking, like, our jokes that we have as friends behind closed doors to the public. And we are not explaining it. There's no explanation. The Mardi Gras thing is just because I said it in Josiah in, like, one of the midnight at McDonald's. And Josiah thought that it was really funny for some reason. So he's been like, every time he sees me, he's like, say marty Gr. And I'm like, marty gr. And like, we keep doing it now it's become like a joke. And then Joe said Disneyland, he was like, mardi Gras. So now we just keep screaming it. Also, the Ellen DeGeneres joke, I'm. I'm keeping that for us.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's for us.

[Kai]

But that's like an inside joke that you're just never going to understand. And you should have connections with your own friends so you could have those kind of things that you could throw at people and, like, use it as a. A device to make them so jealous and incentivize their own emotional connection to other people.

[Drew]

Huh? Jeffree star. So Jeff. Okay.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. Jeffrey.

[Kai]

Hello? Hey. Hey. Just. Just between us, are you okay?

[Drew]

Where'd you go?

[Kai]

Where'd you go?

[Drew]

Where'd you go, though?

[Kai]

I. I.

[Drew]

Look at me. Look at me.

[Kai]

You seem lost.

[Drew]

You're looking.

[Kai]

All right.

[Drew]

So I was asleep last night, and I woke up this, like, at like, 3am to go pee. Fell asleep with my lights on. On top of my covers, by the way. But I did remember to shut my computer this time. Never forget that. Or always. I But I, like, woke up and, like, my tongue hurt. Like, the tip of my tongue hurt really bad in my dream. And I woke up and, like, I was chomping down on the tip of my tongue, like, like biting on it almost the entire night that I was asleep. And I woke up and I was like, damn, my tongue hurts. And I went back to sleep.

[Kai]

Oh, I know.

[Drew]

My tongue was hurting again in my dream. And I woke up this morning biting on my tongue again. And if that becomes a habit, it hurts. Hurts so bad. It literally feels like I just, like, bit all like. Like, you know when you burn your tongue on, like, like a coffee or hot chocolate? That's what it feels like on the tip of my tongue. Like, I scraped all of the taste buds off and it hurts so bad.

[Kai]

Good. Now you can give yourself vegetables or something and you don't have to think about the taste. Okay.

[Drew]

She almost made me.

[Kai]

Yeah, you're lucky.

[Drew]

You're like.

[Kai]

You almost made me raise my voice.

[Drew]

Yeah, you almost made me. You.

[Kai]

Wait, what were we?

[Drew]

Oh, Jeffree star.

[Kai]

Four seconds. Four seconds.

[Drew]

Four freaking seconds. Oh. What I said, though, is it's literally like, you know what? I'm gonna tell you something.

[Kai]

I wasn't.

[Drew]

I'm not even sad that you broke your elbow.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's like the same.

[Drew]

Same phenotype of person, but not the same person.

[Kai]

No, no.

[Orion]

Whoa. My brain just fused those together.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly. But what the. Oh, Jeffree star goes live every day. I'm sure everyone has noticed. Like, why is Jeffrey going live every day? It probably started out as, like, boredom. Like, in Wyoming, wherever he is, like, being bored as well. It's evolved into him doing those tick tock battles. Right. Well, I ran the numbers. You can see how many gifts people get. Like, there's like a ranking system. And Jeffree star, without fail, every single day is in the top three. Like, that I've been checking for the last week.

[Kai]

Week.

[Drew]

He's in the top three every single day with, like, anywhere from like, 1.3 million to, like, 3 million gifts a day. There's a calculator online that I looked and I did, like, very conservative numbers. He's making eight to, like, 13, $15,000 a day on tick tock live streaming only if that. If this calculator is correct.

[Kai]

But it's so insane.

[Drew]

Like, he's. People are giving him essentially $40,000 a day, and then it's getting cut down, and after taxes and everything, it becomes a. And then I was like, that's why he does it. He's making more money doing tik tok live streams than he ever did on YouTube or anything. Like, that's. That's an exaggeration.

[Kai]

Well, no, he's making so much money because of all that yak meat. God knows it's flying off the shelves. Yak me. But it probably just tastes like meat. Like, when people start eating, like, extravagant meats from other animals, I'm like, bro, iguana tastes like chicken. So, like, there's probably just, like, 18 other species that just taste like chicken.

[Drew]

I will say, like, there is, like, a level of, like, nasty gaminess to, like, wild caught meat that I don't.

[Kai]

Wild meat.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah. You don't suck hawks. Whoa. I don't know why I said that. Like, I literally don't. I didn't even think that. Thought it just, like, came out of my mouth. That was, like, so weird. But, like, there's, like, a level of, like, this flavor profile that's just so nasty boots that, like, gave me. It tastes like it's been outdoor, and it's, like, astringent, and it's, like, stringy and tough. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I'm sure it tastes just like oxtail.

[Kai]

I would. Oh, I'm getting oxtail today. Oh, okay.

[Drew]

Well, wait, I got one more. I guess it could go into Drew side up corner. Yeah, yeah, we'll do Drew side up corner. It's the grind.

[Kai]

All right, guys, exciting news. I have something to say.

[Drew]

And just joining this one is not nearly. I think Magnum opus was last week. Like, Drew SAP corner. Last week was Magnum opus. I don't think it's gonna.

[Kai]

Your magnum opus, people in the comments. That was, like, the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

[Drew]

Being a Grimes fan is like being a lana fan in 2014. We are in the trenches. I'm a closeted Grimes fan. You can't say publicly that you're a Grimes fan. But, like, I'm sorry.

[Kai]

No. It literally is like, what? It was like saying you're a Lana fan in 2020. It was like saying you're a lot of fan from, like, 2014-20. Like, 22. It was like, oh, you're a Lana fan. Like, okay. And now. Now it's all the race.

[Drew]

Yeah. But Grimes is just misunderstood. Y' all aren't really listening to the message as she's saying. You're just hearing the words and taking them at face value and very literally. But also, she has said some really whack but like, like I said, we're in the trenches. It's like Lana doing cocaine and like telling her 12 year old fans to do cocaine. Oh, I didn't talk about the Halloween mask. They made a Halloween mask of me and are selling them at Party City.

[Kai]

It's kind of up.

[Drew]

It's crazy. Charge your phone, be bisexual, eat hot chips and lie.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It's so real. I'll show you the video after. Do you have it saved in you?

[Kai]

I have it in our text. It'll be easy.

[Drew]

Okay, Drew Psyop for real this time. Welcome to Drew Psyop Corner. You ever get high with someone and bust out laughing because they ugly as.

[Kai]

That's up. That like, that's why I can't get high around you.

[Drew]

What the. The male version of Shein. Is he out?

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

Oh, I have gay people. Does not produce anything good. But like, obviously that's not true because Kai and you are here making the podcast. Guess. But like, wow.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

I thought I had Covid, but I was just in withdrawal. That's all I got. Guys, I know this was a flop. I tried so hard.

[Kai]

Oh, that's really crazy. Yeah. Mine is Girlhood 28 and we need to take that word away from people. Girlhood. She was a fairy. You are 32. Like, you need to calm the down.

[Drew]

Womanhood.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Part of girlhood. No.

[Kai]

Okay, yeah, I'm.

[Drew]

Shut the up.

[Kai]

All right. Media of the week. Yay. I saw past lives that it made me want you made me Wanna myself.

[Drew]

Unknown death 2002 Just listen to the album. Give it a listen by Young Lean. I feel like you might like it a little bit. Shawnee Bin Laden, Grinchet. Whole lot of wickedry Walkart. Johnny Bin Laden is just lit. You know who I was listening to the other day and I was like, damn. Like, you're actually like the voice of a generation. Like, you shaped so much culture. Like, and I don't even think I know he realizes it, but young thug, like, Young thug is like that. Like, no one's really like, talking about it, but like, we need a free young thug. Like for real.

[Kai]

We need to free me from the prison that is having to do this podcast with you.

[Drew]

Vespertine. Listen to Vespertine by Bjork. I know I say it like once every month, but like, literally, I'm begging you. It's like best album. I'm trying to get everybody on that. Like, stop saying post or debut as your her favorite album. Like, there's no.

[Kai]

I will say Vespertine. Is like, between Vespertine and post. I would throw on Vespertine over post. But, like, possibly maybe. Yeah, possibly maybe there's like, it's oh.

[Drew]

So quiet hyper ballad army. Possibly, maybe like the modern things. But, like, other than that. Like.

[Kai]

Did you say army of me?

[Drew]

Yeah, there's not, like, much replay value.

[Kai]

Oh, wait. But I really, like, I miss you, but I haven't met you yet. Headphones. Actually, wait, this is hard.

[Drew]

This is like.

[Kai]

Actually, wait, I'm going to count headphones. I miss you. Possibly. Maybe it's o. Quiet hyper ballot. Army of me. I didn't count those. But that's like, more than half of the album.

[Drew]

It's like bops, Bops, Vesper Teens got hidden place, Cocoon. It's not up to you. Undo Frosty Unison. So, like, they're pretty, pretty tight.

[Kai]

But debut has human behavior. Like someone in love.

[Drew]

Wait, sing that one.

[Kai]

I like, literally can't.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Around me. Big time sensuality. Big time sensuality. Damn, it's a Bjork day. No, I think we're the first humans to tap into that octave. Like, it literally feels.

[Drew]

No, Bjork is that. And I know a lot of y' all are in the phase of faking liking Bjork because, like, you want to be a part of it. And I swear to God, just keep pushing and it will click for you one day. No one listens to Bjork the first time and likes her. I swear to God. It's like Blade. Like, Bjork finds you. You don't find Bjork, you don't find Blade. Wow. It'll come to you when you need her.

[Kai]

Well, my media of the week is Suzanne by Leonard Cohen, and that's no way to say goodbye by him, but I don't think that's the. The real name of that song, actually. Let me just find it. Like, as if anybody actually listens to what I say, because nobody gives a. Hey, that's no way to say Goodbye. April by Brian Green is such a good song. The album anyhow, by Leland Witty, which is an album you convinced me to listen all the way through because I had only originally listened to, like, the popular Green one. Yeah, I had originally only listened to the first two tracks on this because it was like. Like Glass Moon was the only one I had listened to. And then I listened to the whole album. And I love the album. I listen to it every time I'm in the sauna.

[Drew]

It's like, freaky. Like, it's like, nice, like jazzy, like.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's like a nice, like jazzy ambient album. It's weird and it like, has like drums in it, which I usually like for ambient music to have like, drums is like, really nice. A Summer Wasting by Belle and Sebastian together we are beautiful. Which is what I said last week. And honestly, I. Anything by Blossom Deary nice. Or like, not the song, but like just Blossom Dairy period.

[Drew]

I. I'm shadowing. You watched Adventure Time, which I know. Wait, hold on, let me restart. I watched Adventure Time for the first time, like, sat down and watched. Watched like a bunch of episodes back to back. Because, like, obviously, like, I've seen bits and pieces and episodes through like, Friends or like on Cartoon Network when I would watch cartoons or like whatever that vibe was. But like, I never sat down and like consumed it. And everyone in my life was like, drew, you would like, love that show.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So much. It's so Drew core. Like, it's literally it. I know it's probably like hearsay for me to even say, like, as a 25 year old man, like, to. To that I haven't seen Adventure Time, but I sat down and watched like 2 hours and 20 minutes worth yesterday while I was like drawing and working. And I can say that everyone was right. It is the best cartoon ever made.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It's period, like a best cartoon ever made.

[Kai]

You've seen Midnight Gospel, right?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, that's such like a.

[Kai]

Also that's like from the same creators.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's so genius for them to like, like take a podcast take or not even that, but like, or that plus, like, that's. I've never even had a thought close to that level of like, ingenuity and geniusness. But like the fact that like, we grew up watching Adventure Time and then like now that we're old enough to consume like these deeper, like, topics, like, it's cool that like the same creator. So it's like familiar and it's like nostalgic, but it's also like heavy and deep and it's things that we actually.

[Kai]

Have probably experienced and I need Duncan Trussle. I need Duncan. Come here.

[Drew]

Come here.

[Kai]

All right, I'm here. And we'll end the episode with that. So thank you guys for watching.

[Drew]

We want to have sex with Duncan Trestle.

[Kai]

Tag team.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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