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Ryan Seacrest
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Drew Phillips
Whoa. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. As you can see, we got a doozy today.
Anya
It just, like. It looks stupid, you have to admit. Like, look at me. Look at me, bro.
Drew Phillips
Can you be happy about anything?
Anya
I know. I know you wanted to do something cool for, like, the anniversary, but I was thinking, like, fireworks or, like, confetti or maybe a cake. A good cake would have been fun.
Drew Phillips
Bro, you don't like any of my ideas. For real?
Anya
Like, I think it looks a good idea for you. No, you look stupid and it feels.
Drew Phillips
I look skinny. I look skinny, not stupid. You look stupid.
Anya
Okay, you know what? No, I said I don't want to.
Drew Phillips
Oh, come on.
Anya
No, I. I want to get put down. Someone just put me down, please.
Drew Phillips
Oh, come on.
Anya
Like, hello. Why the table? Oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
Oh, my God.
Anya
Oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
Can someone fucking help her? Like, damn. Like, help her, y' all.
Anya
Ow. Oh, my God. Ow. Someone, please.
Drew Phillips
All right, y' all are all fired, like, for.
Anya
Wait, I can't afford an ambulance. Uber me to the.
Drew Phillips
Who threw that bottle, by the way? What. What are we supposed to do? I'm trapped up here and you. Are you okay?
Anya
I think I'm gonna have heart attack. Oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
In your. Are you okay? Okay, like, bruh, right? Yeah, that was. That was really intense, actually. Like, are you okay?
Anya
You threw a bottle at me. Like, why are you acting like you care?
Drew Phillips
Because you called me stupid.
Anya
I fell through a wooden table. Like, I.
Drew Phillips
And you might have deserved that. You might have deserved that. Honestly, I don't know.
Anya
Like, I don't think that's, like, a karmic thing. Like, I don't think people falling through tables is like, oh, that's karma. That's what you get. You did something bad, and. I didn't do anything bad. We looked dumb. You look dumb. I don't know why you're still up there.
Drew Phillips
I mean, we paid for a full day, so I'm going to use it to the furthest extent I possibly can. And I'm going to float here the whole episode.
Anya
You, like, before, you looked kind of dumb, and now you look really stupid.
Drew Phillips
I feel like I look cool, actually.
Anya
You're, like, 57. It's giving you a huge ass from the back. Well, I guess we'll just get into the episode and we'll just act like Drew.
Drew Phillips
Nothing is happening.
Anya
Nothing. Nothing weird is happening. Doing all that made me forget that we have a full episode to do, and it's an anniversary episode. We've been doing this for three years now, which is so scary.
Drew Phillips
Happy anniversary, guys.
Anya
There's so much. All I can think when we get this far, every time we hit a mark is the fact that, like, I feel like we've been doing this forever, but there's some people who are on their, like, 300,000 episode.
Drew Phillips
Yeah. Like, crazy vibes. And remember in the beginning when we were like, yeah, we're probably only going to do it for, like, a year and, like, give up then, but the.
Anya
Validation is just too rewarding.
Drew Phillips
Wait, am I giving Kevin Gates?
Anya
It's fine. I came with a ding ding. I really want to make an edit of Drew doing all the emotes like that. I wish I could, like, swing you around. Oh, we. Do we have a stick. I should hit him like a pinata or something.
Drew Phillips
No, no, no, no.
Anya
Please, we should next time. Well. Oh, we do have a stick. Well, I only have one arm right now. Yeah, I did break my wrist. Oh, this is perfect.
Drew Phillips
Please, no. Please, no. Can y' all let me down? I'm scared.
Anya
Say, say, don't. Please say, please don't. You're so gorgeous. I love you.
Drew Phillips
Please don't. You're so gorgeous. I love you. Ow. Ow, ow.
Anya
I don't want to hit you too hard.
Drew Phillips
I don't want you to swing, bruh. We'll add sound effects.
Anya
This is the manifestation of the gay little monkey pinata that somebody did.
Drew Phillips
No, literally.
Anya
I don't know if we ever talked about that on the episode, did we?
Drew Phillips
I don't think so. But before get into that, y' all, I just want to say that this, what I'm doing now, has been an idea that I've had for since the genesis of the podcast.
Anya
It actually is.
Drew Phillips
I've, like, literally wanted to just float here the whole time. And then in the original idea, I wasn't going to address it at all, but, like, being here, I'm like, I actually have to, like, this is so ridiculous.
Anya
It's just so ridiculous because you're either sitting on a chair that looks like it's made of pure carcinogens, like water dripping.
Drew Phillips
We're cooked. But we're cooked.
Anya
We broke the ceiling of the studio. Well, I have to look at my notes cuz now I'm so like discombobulated at the fact that we have.
Drew Phillips
Wait. Yeah, me too. Can you hand me my phone please?
Anya
Bring your phone up there.
Drew Phillips
Where am I going to put my phone?
Anya
In a pocket. You have pockets still.
Drew Phillips
My big ass.
Anya
My big butt and your big butt.
Drew Phillips
Take a picture of my butt.
Anya
Is this for your app?
Drew Phillips
Merch Coming soon.
Anya
Oh, wait. Oh my God. Wait. It's actually really good. Also, if you notice that there's like a s. Like you might be like. Oh my God. Although the beginning of the episode was so hectic and terrifying because you saw me get hurt. You might be like, there's a calming presence right now and it's because Kai isn't here.
Drew Phillips
Oh yeah, yeah, sorry.
Anya
Yeah, Kai isn't here. So we just like had to make sure he wasn't here to ruin the vibe vibes of the three year anniversary. So if you're wondering why he's not here, that's why we were just like, you need to stay home. Why have we normalized people doing live streams wearing that VR? Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you seen that on Tick Tock?
Drew Phillips
Like the Vtubers? Like the.
Anya
Like this, like the overly sexy people?
Drew Phillips
No, I have. Girl, why do you have that?
Anya
Okay. I don't know why this is all over my timeline. All I ever get is like people who are dressed like in sexy avatar characters doing a virtual live and there's always like 400 to like a thousand people in there interacting with the person as if it's fully normal.
Drew Phillips
Have you seen Vtubers like the.
Anya
I've seen. I think I've seen streamers who use like.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, yeah, like avatars.
Anya
Yeah, but are there Vtubers who like they do like a day.
Drew Phillips
They're like the most famous people on this planet. Like doing like proper tours with like. You've seen the video of them, like all the girls like screaming like about like the vtuber like that just showed up on the big screen in front of him and like he's like singing.
Anya
No, I haven't seen it.
Drew Phillips
Oh, let me find that. Cuz it's like really, really like dystopian and advanced.
Anya
That is. I mean it's crazy because we're the same generation to make fun of the old people who are on Facebook and seeing the weird AI generated photos of Jesus, like, parting the sea, and we're making fun of old. Wait, is that someone performing or is it like a pre recorded thing?
Drew Phillips
I don't know still. I think it's someone actually performing behind the stage, but they just, like, haven't, like, revealed themselves. Reveal yours.
Anya
They haven't had a dream face reveal?
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
Anya
Oh, dude. The dream face reveal will go down in time. Is, like, the most up ever.
Drew Phillips
One of the worst, like, things that we've ever done as a society.
Anya
Like, the thing is, I wonder if because he got so many, like, I'm trying to find my words correctly right now because I don't want to sit on this podcast and be like, that motherfucker.
Drew Phillips
Or float. Or float on the podcast. Like, you're sitting. I'm floating. You're so jealous of me right now. Actually, it's crazy. You wish.
Anya
I feel like you don't know what to do with your legs.
Drew Phillips
No, I'm, like, kicking around here, like.
Anya
But, like, it must have been so up because everybody, without seeing his face was like, oh, my God, he's so sexy. Like, his aura is so sexy. And then when he revealed his face, I know he thought he was gonna get, like, double the praise.
Drew Phillips
What's sad too, is like, like, preparation for that for him was really intense. And, like, photos of him had leaked before and, like, he was able to, like, like, reel in the rumors, but, like, those photos were him and he thought he was going to, like, eat down. But, like, yeah, that's not the tea.
Anya
Well, I decided that having quadruplets must mean that you did something fudgeing evil in your past. Having anything above twins. Twins already. Oh, my God, Twins already. Feels like a curse. No offense, Drew, but quadruplets, that sounds like something that shouldn't fucking exist. And also the fact that because can't people. Hello, Drew.
Drew Phillips
I don't think the blood's getting to my brain. No, no, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.
Anya
You, like, can't joke.
Drew Phillips
I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm joking. I'm joking.
Anya
But yeah, because can you go up to having six tuplets? Is that's what it's called?
Drew Phillips
Some people have had octuplets. Like, do you remember?
Anya
Hell no.
Drew Phillips
She gave birth like a fucking dog. She was shitting those babies out of her butthole, like, and vagina. Like, I swear to God, like, where do you have that many babies and they all survived?
Anya
C section.
Drew Phillips
I think she did it naturally.
Anya
Hell, yeah.
Drew Phillips
Those babies also all survived. I watched, like, A day in the Life. Like, like, doing anything, like, casually just doesn't work. Like, it just doesn't work. But I saw also these lights.
Anya
You're freaking out.
Drew Phillips
I'm so sweaty. But no, I saw, like, a updated, like, what are they up to now? Vibe. And she's just like, a normal mom, but, like, has, like, a hundred babies running around her house.
Anya
They all look the same. Are they fraternal?
Drew Phillips
No, they're fraternal. I think.
Anya
Yeah, they're fraternal because having more than. Oh, my God, they're boys. Twins in, like, the fucking stone age. You probably got stoned to death because it seemed like crazy.
Drew Phillips
That's demonic.
Anya
To have twins. Was definitely stoned to death because they thought she was a witch. Like, that is so insane to have more than one baby. Because in my head already, we were at a hotel once all together, and we were all watching birthing videos, and it was freaking me the out. And the fact that some people go through with having, like, upwards of four to six babies at once, like, sounds like a nightmare. Sounds like a curse. Sounds like you did something evil in your past life to have that many babies. But then what's fucked up is some people literally, like, that happens. They're so happy.
Drew Phillips
I want twins. Like, having a twin growing up was literally, like, the greatest childhood I could ever imagine. Like, we were just, like, best friends. We still are best friends. And we're planning a road trip together right now. Like, if everybody else in my life just, like, dropped that or just, like, decided to all hate me at once. Like, we are so connected that, like, that's the tea. Like, that's literally the tea.
Anya
I wonder if there's definitely twins out there who fucking hate each other.
Drew Phillips
Oh, 100%. I know some because my mom was in this thing called mothers of multiples, where, like, all of the twins in my hometown, like, the mothers would all get together and, like, get fucked up and then put all the twins in a room to just, like, play together.
Anya
And.
Drew Phillips
And there were a couple that fucking, like, hated, hated, hated each other. Each other. Oh, I just said the safe word.
Anya
What?
Drew Phillips
I said mothers of multiple. It's like moms, like, 10 times. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. The safe word is mother or mom. Mom, mom, mom, mom.
Anya
We were trying to find a word that we wouldn't say, but everything we said felt like something we would just say.
Drew Phillips
I said, like, yellow. Like, girl, what am I on about?
Anya
I guess Yellow would make sense because it's not something we would naturally say. Yeah, but yeah, if you are going to give birth to triplets and you just so be like happen to be watching this, I feel scared for you. And I'm sure you're scared because idea of having three infants in a house. Like, hell the fuck no. I'm literally low key abandoning those babies. I had fucking twins.
Drew Phillips
Should I do psyop and then get down?
Anya
Yeah.
Drew Phillips
Okay.
Anya
Mama.
Drew Phillips
Give me phone.
Anya
Give me phone. Help me, help me.
Drew Phillips
Okay. Drew Psy up corner. A liberal rap artist. 21 pronouns kan, gay, Wes, MTF, doom, gender. Rick, Lamar, and Tyler the creator.
Anya
That's good.
Drew Phillips
When it starts raining in nyc, all the people wearing sheen start smelling like Chernobyl prized pony. People don't take selfies. Oh, wait, people please stop taking selfies in your bed. Your pillow looks like a used tea bag.
Anya
That's literally you for like three years of living here.
Drew Phillips
Like, horrible. I know. Paper. Oh, this is a good one. I know the paper towels in the kitchen hate seeing me coming. I know they hate me like stomping in there to rip them to shreds. Oh, wait, have we said this one before? The misogynistic one.
Anya
Maybe.
Drew Phillips
But you go, you say. You say it.
Anya
Oh my God.
Drew Phillips
You do a couple in your psyop corner.
Anya
This one just doesn't feel like me. Like, I wouldn't say this one misogynistic. How about you start massaging this dick? Like, I wouldn't. That doesn't make sense for me to say. Grape soda doesn't even taste like grapes, but it sure as hell tastes like purple. Please don't play me any more, Shoegaze. I've heard enough. Play me a child's laughter or running water in a creek. I want to hear life blossoming around me in all corners. I want to be overwhelmed with childlike awe and wonder towards the world.
Drew Phillips
Like, dead serious. If I hear any more, I'm gonna freak the out.
Anya
This one's real. If your head getting weak, I'm peeing in your mouth. That's a good one. This charger from Dollar Tree changed my phone number.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, when I was. When I saw that, I literally was like, oh my God, like that would happen.
Anya
I treat my relationships like math. Once I'm confused, I attempt suicide. I thought sleeping naked was cute until around licked my clip. Bro, that's gross.
Drew Phillips
Bro. Those eight. What are you talking about?
Anya
You want your phone back or what? Do you want to get down?
Drew Phillips
Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready.
Anya
Hey, Drew had to get down because he's a. Oh, my little made. Spread the rumors. Drew's made.
Drew Phillips
No, I'm boner made.
Anya
Anyways, so somebody threw a Drew themed birthday party. We need more of that. We need more of that kind of community building to keep the podcast afloat.
Drew Phillips
Just, like, building through the amount of times we were tagged in. Slash. If you look at the comments, all of it is, like, crazy. Oh, wait, on the video, it said.
Anya
Drew on the video. It was like, literally a Drew dedicated video.
Drew Phillips
We'll insert it now.
Anya
There's that.
Drew Phillips
I'm the wizard of cocks all across the globe.
Anya
There's like a bunch of good videos of you recently.
Drew Phillips
The AI I tried to change.
Anya
I was actually having so much FOMO from that party. Like, I was so jealous.
Drew Phillips
It was so fire. And I made a very, very funny tick tock with Rain. I never posted it, but I might still posted.
Anya
Oh, no, it's. I literally showed it to everybody and everybody laughed. Even.
Drew Phillips
The stiff video, like, just killed.
Anya
Me to be that stiff.
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
Anya
Okay. I was like.
Drew Phillips
It was supposed to be me and Rain. Like, we put the chokers on and then we got, like, nonchalant and, like, really emo. So we were like, acting emo, but I just, like went stiff. But I look, like, strong as fuck. Like, I look big in that video. Like, my chest, my feet.
Anya
Have you ever thought of just doing steroids? Like, why don't you?
Drew Phillips
I actually on ironic. I want to get on sarms. I want to get on a trend protocol, human growth hormone, trt. Like, whatever. Like, someone pass me the good shit, send me to a dealer. Like, I'm going to get big and strong for y' all.
Anya
I actually knew someone in high school who was on steroids.
Drew Phillips
Really?
Anya
Yeah.
Drew Phillips
In high school?
Anya
Yes, in high school. He was, like, on the football team and he was like, actively on steroids. And it did give him a drug tested growth issue. I don't think they got drug tested.
Drew Phillips
Damn, that's crazy.
Anya
As far as I know, he was like, literally on it. And we were kind of close.
Drew Phillips
Kids in my school, like, my brother, so my mom, like, in my school, like, we got drug tested all the time for literally no reason. And like, most of the time, like, is that legal? Yeah, like, we signed, like, waivers and consents. Like, if you're in athletics, you get drug tested. So you're girl.
Anya
What?
Drew Phillips
It was just.
Anya
What were you in?
Drew Phillips
It was. And it was also like starting in like seventh grade. It was crazy. But my. Basically how it would go Is like, if they had an inkling that a kid was using drugs, they couldn't just target that kid. So they would just, like, bring in a bunch of other people to, like, test around him just so he felt like he wasn't being targeted. And it was kind of like a. Like a little, like, method or whatever. But my brother got called in one time, and this was in seventh grade. And my. My brother, like, suffers some really, really, really intense migraines. Like, debilitating mig. What he did was, like, he would take Advil. It wouldn't work. He would skip school and, like, be in a dark room for days and days and days, and it just wouldn't work. So my mom, like, gave him like, a quarter of a hydrocodone pill, like a codeine pill to, like, help him. He didn't feel it or anything, but it was just to, like, alleviate. Alleviate his pain because he was, like, literally sobbing like, he. It was debilitating. And then, like two days later, he got drug tested at school. And the school called my mom, freaking the out. They were like, why is your seventh grader, like, taking opiates? Like, what the fuck is going on? And she was like, oh, that was me. I gave it to him. I know, and I'm aware and da da, da, da da. But yeah, they, like, freaked out. They were like, oh, yeah, I don't.
Anya
Think they drug tested at our school. We. I never had that.
Drew Phillips
I wonder.
Anya
A lot of people would have been in trouble.
Drew Phillips
A lot.
Anya
A lot of people would have been in trouble.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, like, with weed and shit too. Like, they would test for weed and like.
Anya
No, we had drug dogs, but we didn't get tested.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, my biggest fear was, like, someone sneaking weed into my bag. Like, when the drug dogs came and I got caught. And like, me not being able to, like, the cameras not being able to see it. Like, I mentioned that all the time. I mentioned that and I mentioned stabbing. I'm. I. I would rather die than get stabbed.
Anya
Well, in like, 10th or 11th grade, this girl I knew got into. She got rushed at school. You know what that is?
Drew Phillips
Bama Rush. Yeah, of course. No, I know what I mean.
Anya
Okay. She got rushed at school and she had her backpack on. And at my school, if you got into a fight, they would check your things. They would, like, look through your bag and.
Drew Phillips
Oh, she was carrying the gun.
Anya
Yeah, she was carrying the gun.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, yeah.
Anya
Everything I say, I've said already, but. Oh, my God. Okay, I have a new theory or not theory. I've already talked about. This like a few episodes ago, but I keep falling on a side of Tick Tock where it's just people being batshit crazy. And it was freaking me out. Yesterday somebody posted a video of the moon and there was like a light trail behind it. And they were like, see the leftover rays from the sun? Because the sun is planted. And they were fully convinced that the sun was a hoax and that the sun isn't real, the moon isn't real, and that they prop it up. They think that the firmament.
Drew Phillips
You know about the firmament? No, the firmament, the issue.
Anya
You're trying to manipulate me.
Drew Phillips
You're trying to manipulate me into believing the firmament. No, it was. It's flat Earth. Like basically they're like, we're not on a sphere. So there's a sun in the sky and it just like rotates inside of a dome. Like it we're in. The firmament is like a dome over Earth.
Anya
If you are a flat Earther, just admit you want to be different so bad. Like if you want to be that different, go like, like IDM music or something. You have a personality different at this point. Like there. I guess there is no other option. I don't know, start a Etsy shop and sell mugs or something. Like do anything.
Drew Phillips
Mugsy bugs.
Anya
But all of the comments were so crazy and it was pissing me off because it was all older people who were like 50 something. And I'm like, damn, this is just sad to me because your childlike wonder has fully withered away. And now instead of just looking at the moon and being like caveman burned out and being, wow, the moon. The moon is so amazing and far away, but I can see it. Like something about this is so magical. You're looking at it and you're convinced the government is propping that shit up.
Drew Phillips
At night, like to self awareness know.
Anya
Like that's crazy.
Drew Phillips
And the Internet just promotes like these dark recesses of the Internet that like are just communities of people like feeding into each other's delusions. Like it's really, really insane.
Anya
If one of my homegirls told me she thought the moon was fake, I would. 5150. Immediately I'm like, immediately you were being.
Drew Phillips
I don't think that. I don't think the moon is fake. Like, I don't think the.
Anya
Well, you're a lost cause.
Drew Phillips
And I don't think that's.
Anya
You are fully a lost cause.
Drew Phillips
I don't think I just said I don't believe it, bro.
Anya
I feel like you do. I could see you being, like, 50 something and becoming, like, a flat earther.
Drew Phillips
No, it's definitely in my car. It's like winning the lottery and becoming a flat earther are two things that.
Anya
Will Drew recently with his whole chest, said to somebody was like, it's gonna be so sad actually, the day I do win the lottery, because I will have nothing else to look forward to.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, like, it's. It's real, y' all. Like, dead serious. Like, I can. I see my life post lottery, and it's going to be very dark and depressing. Like, yacht one day. Like, helicopter rides to the island the next day. Like, buying a Pagani P1 or whatever the fuck the car is.
Anya
Like, that's depressing to you? Yeah, I guess it is.
Drew Phillips
Like, no. Like, we've been so conditioned to work, work, work, work, work, that, like, if we aren't doing something, like, work wise to, like, appease the shareholders, like, our brains are fried and we're just like. It's, like, all a part of the fucking. It's all a part.
Anya
I'm convinced if everybody had my brain chemistry, we would be so much better off.
Drew Phillips
Oh, same.
Anya
Like, if we had your brain chemistry, we would be fucked. Like, we would be.
Drew Phillips
No, it would be awful lit. Like, it would be a movie. Like, we'd all be, like, having fun and shit.
Anya
Well, I've been really convinced. I have scabies recently, and I don't have scabies.
Drew Phillips
Like, for the first time, I got to see what it feels like to hear me talk about my fake ailments. And I'm like, girl, shut the up. It's made me a better person hearing you talk about having scabies. Truly.
Anya
But that doesn't stop you, because I have a feeling you're gonna literally convince yourself that in one of your legs you lost circulation. And I know you're gonna hit the doctor.
Drew Phillips
No, I'm. I'm definitely. There's a blood clot. I'm gonna have a pulmonary embolism. Like, it's gonna be a whole thing. I already thought it all through.
Anya
What is an embolism?
Drew Phillips
Like a blood clot that, like, shoots into your lungs like a. Instructs you out? Okay, but Anya has scabies.
Anya
No, I don't have scabies.
Drew Phillips
She does.
Anya
I. I might have talked about this on an episode. Or maybe it was an episode we stacked. Maybe it was the hotel episode that, like, talked about it. But basically. Or actually, I think I didn't talk about it because you're really Convinced I actually had scabies. And I. Like, part of my brain knew I didn't, but I was convinced I did because somebody said the word scabies around me recently, and I was like, oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
Also, you.
Anya
I would have scabies.
Drew Phillips
You. You really haven't been bathing that much. E. Like, which is tea.
Anya
Well, because I read that that kills the scabies.
Drew Phillips
Wait, actually, yeah. Not bathing. Kill scabies.
Anya
Yeah.
Drew Phillips
Wait, actually, no swear. So you're supposed to not bathe.
Anya
No, I'm kidding.
Drew Phillips
Oh, girl. I was like, what the. That's like.
Anya
No, I'm pretty sure, like, you have to bleach bath, and, like, you have to go crazy with the showering. But I was convinced. Oh, you know why I was convinced? Because somebody recently told me that ringworm was going around in the gyms in la. And then I was like, oh, my God. And then in that same sentence, somebody was like, yeah. Like, one time, I had a friend who got scabies from the gym, and we were going to the gym so much that I was really convinced I was gonna get scabies. And then I had gone upstate, and I got flea bites on my left leg. And I was staring at them for, like, days. And I already know what flea bites look like from when we had a flea infestation. So I knew they were flea bites, but my brain wouldn't stop me from thinking I had scabies. So my history.
Drew Phillips
Flea infestation. We're so ran through and rancid.
Anya
We don't have AC. That works. We had a flea infestation. Our doors don't, like, unlock when you lock them, which could be good because no one can ever get into our.
Drew Phillips
House if they don't unlock the deadbolt on our front door. The knob. Oh, yeah, fell off. Like, it's gone, and it fell off when it was bolted. And I was like, thank God there wasn't a fire, because we would not have been able to get out of this house because our back door also locks, and we can't unlock it from the inside. Like, we're.
Anya
We would have had to climb out the window.
Drew Phillips
Oh, hell no.
Anya
But, yeah, I was convinced I had scabies, and then my flea bites went away. And while I had flea bites, I called my dermatologist because I was like, okay. Like, hey, I haven't seen you in a while, but I was wondering if I could come in. I have these bites on my ankles. I think it might be scabies. I feel like it's scabies. And mind you, this was a voicemail, so I sounded insane. And I was like, hey, hope you're doing good. I'm just calling for a checkup. I do have like a breakout on my chest that I want to look at, so that's one thing. Oh, also I have bites around my ankle and I think I have scabies. And know if I come to you for scabies or if I go to a different doctor and like, if you don't want scabies, I won't go to you because I think I have scabies. And then she called me back and I missed the call and she left me a voicemail where it was like, so what you're describing sounds like a flea bite. And I hadn't mentioned flea bites in the voice, like message to her. And she basically told me not to waste my time coming to her cuz she was like, unless you have itchiness between your toes and like between your fingers and on your wrist, you don't have scabies. It sounds like you were probably somewhere where there was fleas. And I literally was. I was upset. But then the other day in New York, I got bit by a mosquito three times on my leg and it reignited my fear of scabies, even though they are mosquito bites. But yeah, like, I don't know why my new lingering thing is. I think I'm meant to get scabies in my lifetime.
Drew Phillips
Well, you'd be surprised because when we were talking about scabies with people, like more often than you'd think, they'd just like admit that they had scabies at some point in their life. And it's like a deep, dark secret, like a taboo secret that everybody keeps. But like, like I met like five people in the last week that have.
Anya
Had scabies, which is what ignited my fear because I was like, that means you are just normal people and you get scabies. Like, I don't want that.
Drew Phillips
Like, no, literally.
Anya
It's kind of like how when I was younger I was convinced I was gonna. They like die from chickenpox. My new thing is scabies.
Drew Phillips
Did you hear the water? Yeah, it's dripping on me. I'm gonna look up and it's gonna go directly into my eyeball. I'm gonna get a disease.
Anya
Every time I'm walking around New York, I'm scared that like an AC is going to trip into my eyeball and I'm gonna go blind. Oh, also, on the flight back home, I used the bathroom and I Felt like my pants had dragged on the floor in the bathroom. And then I touched my pants at one point, and I was convinced my hands were covered in germs and that I was going to get pink eye if I touched my. I couldn't go back to the bathroom because I was like, I had to scooch past people to go to the bathroom. So instead, I just sat there panicking for, like, an hour that I was gonna get pink eye. And my eyes were itching so bad, so I started using my sleeves, and then I scratched my cornea with my sleeve, and then I knocked out for two hours. So that's where my mental state is at. Right.
Drew Phillips
All right, so the hawk tua girl. Do you actually not know her?
Anya
I. I haven't seen it. I. I saw something like that, but I. I just thought it was like.
Drew Phillips
Oh, okay, it's busted, but bas take on it. So the hawk to a girl is the girl that, like, was being interviewed. Da da da da da. And, like, they asked her about giving head, and she said, you got a hot tour on that thing. Like, and she said that. And then everybody, like, thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So they, like, started, like, trying to find her, like, incessantly, like, invading her privacy.
Anya
Oh, it's like one of those drunk spit on that thing.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, exactly. And so, like, like, they couldn't find her. Well, eventually she showed up at the barstool offices and did, like, an interview. And when she pulled up, she had, like, a team of, like, 10 people around her, like, a whole ass camera crew following her. Like, big ass, like, red is dead cameras or whatever the they're called. Like, just following her around and. And, like, like, everybody was, like, seeing that, and they were like, like, don't get comfortable. Like, you're not gonna be famous. Like, we're not making you famous. Like, you're not gonna have a career. We're not letting you have a care. Just, like, making fun of her for, like, taking a shot at fame. Like, I swear she was working a factory job. So anybody in their right mind who has quit their job for their 15 minutes of fame, even if it meant, like, being made fun of, like, but at least they're not working a factory job. So that's my take on it. Granted, she is, like, a little, like, she's funny, she's really silly. But yeah, I don't think the hatred towards her is deserving. I mean, though, it's ridiculous.
Anya
That's like, classic Internet. It's like when they Made what's his nuts, the yodeling kid in Walmart famous. And then for some reason it became so popular of a thing to like bully the out of him, even though he was a kid. And now he went on stage with Lana Del Rey.
Drew Phillips
So all of a sudden she has her fucking pulse.
Anya
Her finger on the pulse?
Drew Phillips
Yeah, she has her finger.
Anya
She has her fucking poles.
Drew Phillips
Yeah. No, she has her finger on the pulse and she knows exactly what y' all don't want to see. And she'll do it anyways because no one can control my queen. And that's the real tea. Shout out Lana Del Rey. I love you. You saved my life. Woman crush Wednesday Lana is so beautiful.
Anya
Well, I had a thought that was like very immature. But the other day I got seriously sad, like actually upset at the fact that I won't be a young turn crazy girl in the year 2069. By 2069 I will be 70 years old, leather skin. And that makes me so sad. Like that makes me really sad for some reason. And I'm so jealous because there's going to be some like 23 year olds who are posting from, from their brain, like neuralink on ignore, making jokes about the year 2069. And then there's going to be kids who get to get high as on.
Drew Phillips
420 69, but it's going to be space ganja. Like the crazy. The craziest thing is by then like we'll be able to reverse age if they truly want. If they want to maximize profits, they would learn how to reverse age so we can work longer. And I have a feeling in the next 25, 30 years will be able to freeze our age. And we'll be like, I don't know.
Anya
Because isn't there that one guy who he sold. Was it the guy who sold Venmo or something?
Drew Phillips
It's not Venmo, but I know what you're talking about.
Anya
Yeah, who's like spending all his time and money to look younger and he still looks 40 something.
Drew Phillips
Oh wait, it might have been Venmo. $2 million a year is what he spends on reversing his age.
Anya
That is sad. What you need to do is get a therapist because you are lost.
Drew Phillips
Like, you're never that deep. It's never ever that deep. But I think for him it's not even about like, like it's. I mean, obviously it's a little bit of vanity purposes, but like truly, it's just like seeing how far he can push like the human body.
Anya
But science.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, I Mean, it's working. Like, there's, like, these ways to tell how much you've aged. And, like, for every year that we age, he only ages, like, six or seven months.
Anya
I don't even want to live that long. Like, what is the point?
Drew Phillips
No, for real. But by then, like, we'll have, like, a pop star from Mount Olympus on Mars that, like, has bioluminescent skin that's, like. And outperforming all of our pop girls currently.
Anya
I just don't know. Like, I think I have, like, the way people don't believe the Earth is round is the way I have a lack of belief in technological and scientific advances where I'm just like, we. We are not moving as fast as we thought. Like, and I don't think we can. But also, I think I just. I don't see the point. Like.
Drew Phillips
Like, I think the first flight, but from the very first time we flew to, like, landing on the moon was only, like, 30 years or something like that. That, like, it was like, I don't.
Anya
Well, I don't believe in the moon landing, so.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, but you don't. You don't believe in the moon landing.
Anya
I don't. That shit's fake. As we could do the moon landing. We should just do the moon landing on an episode.
Drew Phillips
Wait, next.
Anya
We literally could just fake the moon landing.
Drew Phillips
Next episode, we're faking the moon landing. Like, that's a good idea. Like, for a show, is to, like, fake all the. Whatever. You know what I'm saying? That's a good idea, bro.
Anya
We can't even visit the Titanic shipwreck. Like, you think we can do all that?
Drew Phillips
They. They have, though. That's the thing. They did it before a bunch of times.
Anya
Was that the first time? It was a commercial experience.
Drew Phillips
No, they've gone on commercial.
Anya
Damn. That would be my luck.
Drew Phillips
I know.
Anya
That would be my luck. I'd be like it. Like, I'm rich.
Drew Phillips
All I know is that my veins in my body and in my legs are collapsing. Like that submarine collapse under the ocean from hanging.
Anya
Yeah, that's what you get.
Drew Phillips
You're so jealous of me.
Anya
You kind of deserve it.
Drew Phillips
You're so jealous of me. Okay, Wingstop, count your days. I'm telling you, like, I have beef with all these restaurants. Wingstop, you're canceled. Wingstop is for real canceled. I'm not even kidding. We're canceling Wingstop right now until. Okay. It actually gets me so heated. Basically, it was day three in a row of me ordering Wingstop. I was on okay, good.
Anya
First bad sign.
Drew Phillips
Yeah. I was on such a good vibe. I love Wingstop, y' all. It's like literally the best food on this planet.
Anya
Having it tonight. Wait, actually, yeah, I think I might have it with rain.
Drew Phillips
Oh, vibe. Best food on this planet Earth. I ordered it for me and Josiah. It was $60 for two people to eat redonkulous. And I ordered it through the Wingstop app because I was like, you know what? Like, I'll give money to the Wingstop app instead of like the Postmates app or whatever. I don't know that. I don't know my thinking. I always think that there's like a reward system or something, like. Because, like, if there is a reward for ordering too much Wingstop, I'm gonna get it. I literally order it like four or five times a week. It's like actual. An actual problem. I actually can't afford it, but I ordered it for.
Anya
It is incredibly expensive.
Drew Phillips
I ordered it at 10:51 for me and Josiah and it said it was going to deliver by 11:15. Well, I got texts saying that my driver had picked up my order and they're delivering it through doordash. This is important. They said my driver picked up my food and was dropping it off at my house soon. And I didn't get a single notification that he was trying to call me or nothing. Like, nothing like that. And then he just dropped the food off, took a picture, sent it to me and dipped. I couldn't get a hold of him after this point because he, like, finished the order. He dropped it off at the wrong house. $60 of Wingstop at the wrong house. So. Oh, my God. Somebody literally won the lottery up for real. Because it was a good ass order. It was my order. It was three tenders, a lemon pepper, two mild, a cheese sauce, a ranch, a Coke, big size and lemon pepper fries with extra seasoning and well done cooked, bro. They came up. For real.
Anya
You didn't go find it?
Drew Phillips
No. We scoured the neighborhood. I literally went up to every sing. I was. I was writhing in anger because I was. At this point, I was. I was so pissed. I was like literally withdrawing from Wingstop. But Wingstop is canceled. Y. I'm never ordering it again. That place. Place. But I went to every single door in the neighborhood looking for it. We looked like robbers and thieves. I even went to the house, like, up the street that, like, shares similar numbers to us. Wasn't there. We, like, were on Google Maps, like, looking, seeing, like, at, like, to see the front door of Houses because he sent me a picture of where it was. He was, like, teasing us. And so I called him. He didn't answer. I called him again. He didn't answer. And so then I called DoorDash, and they, like, put me on hold for, like, 25 minutes and then got back to me, and they were like, well, you ordered it through the Wingstop app, so you have to call Wingstop. So I called Wingstop, but they don't have a fucking help number. So I just called the Wing Stop that I ordered from, and they were like, oh, yeah, we can figure that out for you easily. And then they were like, what's your name? Gave them my name. Then they put me on hold with, like, the most bunk fucking weight music ever, and then they asked me my name again.
Anya
We need to update. We hold the music because it's the worst.
Drew Phillips
It's so beat. Like, this is the saddest image I've ever seen in my life.
Anya
That's also one of those, like, apartment complexes that dropped from the sky.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, yeah. Like, that are made out of cardboard and plastic. Saddest moment of my life when I saw that photo. They called or they took me off hold again, asked me my name again. And then when I was giving them my name, I was like, I can also give you the order number because, like, I feel like it would be easier to look up by the order number because they were saying because I had already put a second order in to replace the Wing Stop. So I didn't want them to, like, damn. Cancel. Yeah, no, I was, like, down.
Anya
But you wouldn't. As you're signed, like, I don't know, order from, like, Wendy's.
Drew Phillips
I was. I was in a. I was in a mood, bro. I needed that Wing Stop to, like.
Anya
So at this point, it's like, midnight.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, it's midnight. $100. $120 in on wing Stop. Well, he finally comes back to me, and I'm laying in bed at this point, like, waiting on the food, and he's like, hello, Drew. And I'm like, yeah, what's up? He hangs up on me after being on hold for 30 minutes. Wingstop, you're over. Because they also don't have, like. Like, a way to. For me to get refunds back online. So I had to email this email, and I blew that shit up. I sent them, like, literally 45 emails, like, being like, they hung up on me. Like, they delivered my food to the wrong place. Like, I want my money back. Like, I was, like, writhing in Anger. And they still haven't emailed me back day. The what?
Anya
Wingstop.
Drew Phillips
Yeah. Experience.
Anya
You got it again?
Drew Phillips
I. I got it the same night and then I got it the next day. I'm not kidding, y' all. Like, it's. It's the only thing that's keeping me alive. And if anything, the only thing.
Anya
Are you an organ donor?
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
Anya
You need to get rid of that.
Drew Phillips
No, no, no one needs.
Anya
No one.
Drew Phillips
My organs are hella strong. Like, they're actually really good.
Anya
Dude. Imagine like being on your deathbed because your liver is failing and they bring in Drew Phillips, my pocket.
Drew Phillips
Cook, my Takis and Wingstop Ranch. Inflated your coke. Yeah, no, I'm. It's cooked, bro. For them. But the only way Wingstop can make this right, and I'm being genuine here, is if they give me the Wingstop black card so I can have ring we stop for the rest of my life.
Anya
For you. Literally. No one listening has power.
Drew Phillips
Just wait. Just wait. When we all lock arms and we take a stand. All how many of our listeners? We have 300,000. Half a million of us that are listening.
Anya
This video gets like 200.
Drew Phillips
Wingstop will have to be forced to give me force their hand. Yeah.
Anya
So you think the way to make this company like you is to shame them into liking you?
Drew Phillips
Exactly. Exactly. Because they obviously did not give a about me when they didn't give me my money back. Because $60, that's life changing money to a lot of people, especially me, because I would use that to buy two more orders of Wings. They're getting the money either way. Just give me my money back, bro. Like, for real, like, it's pissing me off. Like, give me my money.
Anya
Honestly. Respect. Respect. And I think you should stand for what you believe in. I'm glad that's where you put your foot down. It's for your Wingstop.
Drew Phillips
Exactly.
Anya
Well, I have exciting news. I'm waiting on this video to be sent to me, but when I was in New York, I was at a restaurant and we were eating on the sidewalk.
Drew Phillips
Walk. No, you weren't.
Anya
No, we were. We couldn't find a table and we were just. We put our food on the sidewalk. It was up and it was after it rained.
Drew Phillips
So all the pits, all the oil and the human features.
Anya
If you wear sandals in New York, you're going to jail.
Drew Phillips
But yeah, your toes are literally gonna fall off from like you have foot fungus. Yeah, but they're the ones spreading the ringworm around.
Anya
And the scabies, they're coming Here and giving us scabies.
Drew Phillips
Yeah. Not.
Anya
But we had the option to sit indoors. But I was like, you know what? I never sit outside at restaurants in New York. I'm gonna have that vibe. So we're sitting on the sidewalk and, like, eating our dinner, like, me and a few friends. And this guy comes by and he's like, oh, I love the podcast. I was like, oh, thank you so much. And he dips. I go to the bathroom. When I come back, the same guy comes back to me and he's like, hey, by the way, you prank called me with your friends once. Once. It's somebody who works at like, the. So Prada and Mew Mew and all those big brands. When you call them, you are not calling the store. They direct you to a. A call center. And a guy who answered the phone to Josie asking, we have the videos.
Drew Phillips
We have all the videos on my phone.
Anya
Yeah. Saw me in public and was like, yeah. So basically, they are not allowed to hang up on you. You. That's why they stay on the phone with you so long is because a lot of those call centers are not allowed to hang up on you. And he was telling me that. It was like, it was right. Like, he had just started working there too.
Drew Phillips
So it was asking him to eat the shoes.
Anya
And like, oh, my God. He's the one who was like, you want to consume them? Like, he was the one who said that. And like, I wish my friend reported. I think it might have been Prada. My friend recorded it. So I'm waiting on him to send me the video, but. But he was like, yeah, that was me. And I like, they log all those calls, by the way, which is crazy because in my head, I immediately was.
Drew Phillips
Like, bruh, do you know their policy on eating the shoes? Do you mean, like, consuming the speakers? Yes.
Anya
We'Ll find it.
Drew Phillips
It. Yeah, we'll find it, but because we.
Anya
Have way too many videos. But he was like, I felt so embarrassed. Like, I was saying your shame. And I was like, I am so sorry. And then he was like, no, no. It was like, really funny because they log all those calls and you have to kind of report them back and be like, hey, like, just so you know, if you're looking through the calls, I got this call and they aren't allowed to hang up on you and they have to just stay on the phone until you hang up. And it was one of the calls that he said, like. Like, Josie or one of us started laughing, so we hung up. So it wasn't Like, a long call. But we, like, started laughing after. He was like, you want me to consume. You want to consume the shoes?
Drew Phillips
Did he know it was us or did he find out after the podcast?
Anya
He. I. I don't think he knew it was us when we called, but I think he saw the episode where we were talking about it and he was like, no, it was really funny. And I got so embarrassed. I was like, I am literally so sorry. Like, we talk about the moral dilemma of, like, prank calling all the time. Like, I always feel bad, like, whatever. Like, me, like, back up and be like, I'm so. So he thought it was funny. And I was like, I'm so glad you thought it was funny. He was like, yeah, no, it's really funny because we usually just get mundane, like, regular calls because it's like, okay.
Drew Phillips
So our theory is kind of t. Like, it like, takes them out of their work day a little bit and, like, makes them.
Anya
We're like, yeah, no, we're good. We're good people.
Drew Phillips
I know me convincing myself that is need that video.
Anya
But yeah, my friend recorded the interaction and shout out to him. I don't, I don't remember getting his name, but shout out to you. You're fucking awesome. You're a champ. But it was cracking me up because I was like, okay, maybe I need to chill because those are literally brands I love and like to work with. And me just be like, okay, we eat the shoes.
Drew Phillips
Like, but thankfully you're clean of that.
Anya
That was never called Mew Mew. If you're listening, I have never called to eat your shoes. I have your shoes. No, I'm saying, like, I purchased the shoes and when you guys gift me the shoes, I'm so thankful that I eat them.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, and they taste like hella good. Like, if any brand has good tasting shoes, it's Mew Mew Mew.
Anya
Sho are so yummy.
Drew Phillips
Mew Mew shoes go crazy. Especially with a little Wing Stop ranch.
Anya
Thank you.
Drew Phillips
A little Wing Stop Ranch. Like, I'm telling you right now. Like.
Anya
But yeah, that was my awesome experience.
Drew Phillips
That is like, one of the greatest things I've ever heard.
Anya
I never thought that would ever get back to us. I was, I was so shocked. Especially because it was the same guy who came back earlier. And I was like, in my head, when he first passed, I didn't obviously think anything of it. And then when he came back, I was like, oh, I wonder if, like he. He wants a picture or something because he was with a girl and I was like, oh, I wonder if they want a picture or something. But then he was like, I just thought I needed to tell you. And I was going to tell you earlier, but I was, like, too embarrassed to tell you. But, yeah, you guys called me and you asked, so thank you for letting us know. We won't be calling luxury department stores anymore because I feel bad that they can't hang up. And then it had me thinking. I was like, I wonder if the car salesman can hang up. But I still stand by car salesmen being very predatory. And that's because I also grew up watching Matilda, so. So car salesmen have a bad honey.
Drew Phillips
I, like, I want Ms. Honey, so.
Anya
I want Ms. Money.
Drew Phillips
I want her to hold me.
Anya
I want. What's her name? From Alien.
Drew Phillips
Like the movie Alien?
Anya
Yeah.
Drew Phillips
Oh, what is her name, bro?
Anya
I was just saying her name the other day because I was watching it. Whatever. Ripley. Oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
Mother. Good. She's so mother. But, well, bouncing off of that.
Anya
Oh, wait, but I do have to clarify.
Drew Phillips
Not in a lesbian.
Anya
Yeah, yeah. Not in a gay way. I've come to terms.
Drew Phillips
Mine is in a very straight way because I'm a straight man.
Anya
Yeah. Mine is in, like, a girl crush. Like, erg. Want to be you. You're so kind. Because I've taken some time to myself and I've decided that being bisexual isn't real. And I'm straight, period.
Drew Phillips
So, I mean, we've. We've been known that, like, I would not let a person like that in my life. But bouncing off of eating shoes. Mew. Mew. Call person. I didn't tell you this because I did not want you to be jealous at all. And I didn't even end up going because, like, it was just, like. It was. I had other, like, obligations. But, bruh, I, like, was supposed to be at the White party. I was supposed to be there. I got invited.
Anya
I'm not jealous of that.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, like, the Illuminati invited me and I was supposed to be there, like, hanging out with, like, Drew Ski and Drake and. But, like, I decided ultimately, like, that wasn't my vibe. I was like. Yeah, I was like, more on, like a. Like, Like a chill vibe. Like, go ride the water slide vibe.
Anya
Yeah. I mean, you were back in la, though, so I don't understand how you would have made it.
Drew Phillips
It. They were going to call me a helicopter across America. I was going to. I was going to chop her across.
Anya
How long would that take?
Drew Phillips
Like, literally 80 years. Like, literally I'd be 408 years old by the end of that, if it didn't. Fudgeing Crash, bro. Not. Yeah, I was going to go, but it's not my vibe. It really isn't my vibe. Like, I don't fuck with that shit. For real.
Anya
Did you see that Kendrick dropped his Not Like Us video during it and was wearing all white in the video.
Drew Phillips
So crazy.
Anya
So good.
Drew Phillips
He's like. He's got the mind of a mastermind.
Anya
For real. That is, like, if there's anything to be learned, it's just, like.
Drew Phillips
Balls in your mouth challenge, like, butt sex and stuff like that.
Anya
My take on that whole situation is from the very beginning. If you have a diss track that's made about you and it's playing at parties, you go home, don't go out. You. You just stay quiet. You just stay quiet. Especially when you already know you're gonna lose.
Drew Phillips
Especially when you're a billionaire.
Anya
Like, babe, I know you had no reason to do all that.
Drew Phillips
Just chill. Like, so sad. You can in 20 years when this blows over, like, you can be.
Anya
You can show your face again. Yeah.
Drew Phillips
Like, just chill out. You're good. You're good.
Anya
Oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
But, yeah. I can't believe Kendrick didn't, like, hit me up or hit me up to, like, give him some insight about, like, our situation with, like, Kanye and Drake backstage, like, them doing s with me or whatever.
Anya
Well, it's. Because that's a lie, so.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, I know. It's time. It's. It's a very real.
Anya
I mean, you were quick to say. Yeah.
Drew Phillips
You think I'm blaming. Okay, cool. Right? I want to eat a Minion so goddamn bad. I swear to God, like, I want to eat them.
Anya
I think I'm. I wish I enjoyed the Despicable Me franchise the way other people do, but I thought, true. Stop. I also. I need to stop watching Inside out, too. I've realized it's like my Coco Melon version of Therapy now, and I need to stop watching it. I watched it basically three times, and I would watch it again because if you want to go see it in the theaters, I would watch.
Drew Phillips
I need to see it because we started watching it with Alex, and we watched the first 15 minutes. I've watched the first 15 minutes a few times now because the sexy dad, duh, like, hello, Picks up another dad at the hockey game, and you just have to watch that a few times. Like, just, like, see what it's like to be a man, you know, Like a real man.
Anya
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Camaraderie.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, exactly. Between men tapping each other on the butts, like, when you're walking by, like, congratulating them. I looked up. No, I looked that up. I was like, where the did that come from? Because that is so homoerotic and weird. Because I watched LeBron James walk past Cooper Flag and, like, tap him on his butt, which is also suspect because Cooper flag is 17 years old. Shout out Cooper Flag, though. Like, you're doing big things. Like, for real. Like, I've been seeing you on the USA select team. Like, I've been bullish, okay? This is my claim to fame. I've been bullish on Cooper flag since 2022. I'm not even playing thing. Like, like, bullish, like a bull market, like, going up. Like, I've been. I've been calling his rise, not demise, since 2022. I thought probably earlier than that because that's, like, the earliest I texted about him. But he is the truth. I'm telling y' all. Like, he really is the truth. He's the goat. Like, he's gonna, like, he's gonna do big things in the league. I think he's not gonna have, like, the most amazing, like, mind blowing season at Duke this year. But I will be tuning into every Duke game I did last year because of Jared McCain. That is my man. Like, I don't give a. Says, like, I will ride and die for Jeremy McCain. He's the dude that paints his nails because he's, like, truly authentically himself and not enough people are themselves in the league. And that's the tea. And he had his first summer league game a couple days ago. Watch that. He tore. He ate down. He's Mother Goose.
Anya
But I didn't reply to my therapist.
Drew Phillips
Oh, she's gonna ghost you, bro.
Anya
No, she loves me.
Drew Phillips
What were we talking about? Minions, though. Oh, Inside out. I would love to go see it. And when Inu was saying all that about it being like, like, like one of the best movies ever made, I was like, yeah, right. I watched the first, like, 30 minutes of, like, a recording of the screen on an iPhone with really shitty audio. And I was like, like, gooped and gagged. Like, I was like, oh, this is like, this is a good movie. Like, this is.
Anya
I genuinely believe it's made for adults. I do not think it's made for kids. I don't think any funky ass kid is going into the movie theaters and understanding by any means what the is happening. But it's so good. Also, they casted Aya and Uma so perfectly. Like, for the like, the characters, they voice acted like the whole thing is just so good.
Drew Phillips
Yeah. Like you weren't joking. So we had to turn it off because I was like, I want to see this in theater. For real. For real. Because it's like, it's just a good movie. Like, it really is such a feel good movie. Also, I found out that it already made a billion dollars, which is fucking crazy. Like, what?
Anya
I haven't seen a percentage of that ever.
Drew Phillips
Why would you ever deserve a percentage of ins?
Anya
Because it's based on me.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, because you're crazy.
Anya
I'm so crazy.
Drew Phillips
I'm so crazy. Everything I do is so crazy.
Anya
The other day that, like, our thing used to be like Yamama, Yamama. And now our thing is I'm so crazy. I'm so crazy.
Drew Phillips
I forgot. I totally forgot about this. On the way home from Rain's house, morning after fourth of July, I. I got into an Uber ride home. I was her first ride ever. And she almost killed me. I'm not kidding. She almost killed me. And I have a video of it, like three cars almost. She stopped in the, like, you know when you like turn off and. Or you can go straight and there's that little triangle there, like on the freeway. She stopped there because she didn't know which way to go. Like, her gps, like, she couldn't read it. And I was like, no, you go straight. I've been on this road a million times. Go straight. And she was. Was like, turn off. And I was like, no, go straight. She's like, okay, I'll turn off. Like, LA is that way. And I was like, no, I'm not going to downtown la. I'm going straight. Like, please go straight. And then she freaked out and just stood like still in the middle of the road. Granted, I was telling her the way that the GPS was telling her to go. I don't know why she wanted to go to la, downtown la, so bad, but.
Anya
Do you want to take you to Santia Ellie and sell you?
Drew Phillips
No, for real, bruh. Let me find this. This freaking video.
Anya
We need to go to Santee Alley. We haven't been in a minute.
Drew Phillips
So we're stopped. She starts pulling out. We were like literally about to die, bro. We were literally about to die. And like, she like it. Yeah, it was scary. But I. I was literally. And I asked her, I was like, oh, is this like one of your first rides? Because the app told me it was her first ride. And I was like, like, you're doing a good job. Like I was gonna tell her she was doing a good job. And she was like, no, this is not. I've been doing this for years. And I was like, it really doesn't seem like it because she was also asking me how to drive. Like, she was like, do I turn my blinker on now? And I was like, yes, like, you turn your blinker on now, bro. Like, what are we doing, dude?
Anya
She was probably 16.
Drew Phillips
She was, like, 40, in her late 50s. Like, she was old as fuck, but she was such a sweetheart. Shout out her, like, saved my life, but also put my life in danger.
Anya
Well, my arm hurts. I need to go to the hospital, I think.
Drew Phillips
Okay. Charlie's sending us a cease and desist, bro. I wish, bro. Charlie's like, she hates us, bro. She, like, really doesn't with us. Like, and you tipped her tiara a little bit.
Anya
And, like, don't say all that. I don't believe that.
Drew Phillips
And was telling me. She was telling me all about it. She was like, yeah, the Charlie version just isn't as good. Good as mine.
Anya
Like, no, I don't understand why people like the version I did so much. Like, it's so stupid and it, like, embarrasses me. It's embarrassing. Everything is everything.
Drew Phillips
Wait, everything literally is. Your mama, your mama, your mama. Your mama's embarrassing.
Anya
I'm embarrassed.
Drew Phillips
Your mama is embarrassed.
Anya
Well, Charlie, if you hear this, I would love to get on a remix. Please, please, please, please, please, please. You don't have to pay me. I just show me to me Rachel. Show me to me Rachel. Well, I'm going to get into media.
Drew Phillips
Before we do that, can I do stand up? But I have to get in the harness first.
Anya
You don't.
Drew Phillips
I have to get in the harness, bro. Please.
Anya
Fine.
Drew Phillips
We paid for it. Might as well. Thank you.
Anya
It's, like, not even ready. There's no cue. Like.
Drew Phillips
Okay, we've all seen the Haktua girl, right? Right? She's so crazy. She needs to get, like, a bird and hawk and fly to. To LA and pursue a social media career like Bhad Bhabie.
Anya
That was, like, the most mouthful of, like, nonsense jargon I've ever heard.
Drew Phillips
I'm tired of people asking me if I'm an introvert or extrovert. I'm a pervert.
Anya
Okay?
Drew Phillips
All I can think about is that poop river in Paris. Everybody's going upstream to drop logs in the river as the President swims across. All I'm thinking is, I want to swim in that river that day. NYC is so crazy. It's like a concrete everywhere. Alicia Keys wasn't lying.
Anya
It's like a concrete everywhere.
Drew Phillips
Okay, wait, let me. Why are people beating their meat? You should be caressing it sensually instead of hitting it. The water dripping. Oh, wait, this is a good one. Wait, I wrote this one without even thinking about the. People are always telling me to hang in there. Actually, this one's really dark.
Anya
What is it? I thought it was gonna be a joke because you're, like, floating.
Drew Phillips
Why do people want to see me hanging myself? Oh, yeah. Thirst traps. More like dehydration free.
Anya
What?
Drew Phillips
You are not drinking, eating left water droplets.
Anya
Dude, I've said this for, like, four years in a row now, but sometimes when you talk, you feel like an uncle of mine who got amnesia.
Drew Phillips
I know. It's really nervous. Okay, this is the last one. When I see someone having fun without me, I want to kill them.
Anya
Whoa. Is that, like. Is that a joke?
Drew Phillips
Yeah, it's like, stand up, bro. You know, it's. It's float in the air, bruh. Are you all. All right? No, you're all left.
Anya
Okay, I think that's. Take that spotlight off of him. He's freaking out. All right.
Drew Phillips
Roy.
Anya
Roy.
Drew Phillips
Well, that was lit. No, that was a good one.
Anya
No, it wasn't.
Drew Phillips
That was good.
Anya
Stand up is getting progressively, like, scarier and scarier, and I feel like you're doing this thing where you go to write down a joke and you're trying to, like, hurry up and finish typing it before you forget it. And you forget, like, 18 words in.
Drew Phillips
Between each sentence on the couch last night. And. Yeah, I like it. Really, like, it really ruined my mood, like, trying to write those jokes because I was writing them, like, last night at, like, midnight, and we were trying to watch Love island or whatever that show's.
Anya
Yeah, I couldn't get it. I couldn't get into it. I'm gonna try again tonight, but I just couldn't get into it.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, but, like, we're thinking, like, by episode three, like, the tea will be spilled, but we'll see.
Anya
I watched Inside Out 2 again. I watched A Man on the Moon, which was really good. And I watched Love Lies Bleeding, which was really good. I'm just, like, confused. That's it.
Drew Phillips
Oh, girl's so confusing.
Anya
Oh, my God.
Drew Phillips
India's so confused.
Anya
And then my media for listening is Whisper by Martin Revolution. Nice Mover by Gina X performance. This Eve of Parting by John Hartford. And I did not know that Arctic Monkeys song. I Want to Be Yours is a cover.
Drew Phillips
I Wanna be Your.
Anya
It's literally, or at least I think it is, by John Cooper Clark. I've been listening to him.
Drew Phillips
I wanna be yours I wanna be yours My media is advanced falconry. Mutual benefit. It's over. Roar Orbison in my room. The Langley School Music Project, y' all. That's the sauce. Langley School Music Project. Best children's choir covers of all time. Putting y' all on total darkness. R.P. boo. And then. Way to have a story. These words. Natasha Bedingfield. Did I tell you? Yeah, there was a. At that mark show, there was this, like, beautiful woman just, like, kind of roaming around, like, sitting down. And she, like, pulled me aside, and she was like, hey, can we get a picture together? Like, our outfits really match, like, well. And I was like, yeah, of course. Like, let's do it. But I have to do this interview first. And then, like, we were walking over to the interview, and then she, like, grabbed me again, and she was like, let's do it. And I was like, yeah, we can do it now. Let's just do it now. So we started taking pictures with her. I didn't know until after that it was Natasha Bedingfield. Like, a bird girl she, like, wanted to take a picture with.
Anya
You know what's crazy is I used to call the radio station to play that song.
Drew Phillips
And, like, radio is dead, too. Like, that's the real tea of it all.
Anya
Do people still call into radio stations to play songs or do they just play Tick Tock?
Drew Phillips
They probably just play.
Anya
I think they just play Tick Tock.
Drew Phillips
No, we gotta get a. We should have a call center.
Anya
Yeah, we'll get that.
Drew Phillips
Yeah, we need to do that soon because I feel like maybe, maybe not like, an advice column, because advice from us, like, would literally just be like, cheat on your boyfriend.
Anya
Like, I know at one of the college shows we did, somebody asked me advice, and I gave the worst advice ever.
Drew Phillips
So. But no, it's, like, to the youngins. Like, they need to hear like that.
Anya
Yeah.
Drew Phillips
Like, it's okay to cheat.
Anya
It's okay to be crazy and free.
Drew Phillips
Just kidding, just kidding. I'm just joking. Joking. I'm just stroking and joking, man. Okay. No, no. We need to talk about my boner real quick.
Anya
Okay. No, and thank you guys so much for listening for three years.
Drew Phillips
Thank you, guys. For real.
Anya
Kind of insane. Hopefully we make it to another year. Who. Who freaking knows?
Drew Phillips
I mean, my leg actually might fall.
Anya
Off, so I can only pray for so much.
Drew Phillips
Wow. Wait, actually, what if I do have a pulmonary embolism? I have a blood clot.
Anya
So annoying.
Drew Phillips
It.
Anya
God, where is that? You Drew. Drew. What the. Did you just. You're okay. Stop. This isn't funny. Please. Like, I just want to go to bed. Turn around.
Drew Phillips
Take this. The phone.
Ryan Seacrest
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Emergency Intercom: “Big Things Anniversary” – Episode Summary
Released on July 12, 2024 by iHeartPodcasts
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya and Drew engage in hilarious, often chaotic conversations, addressing a myriad of topics with wit and eccentricity. Despite the name, there’s typically no actual emergency—just an intense need for attention and laughter.
[03:08] Anya:
“Nothing is happening. Nothing weird is happening. Doing all that made me forget that we have a full episode to do, and it's an anniversary episode. We've been doing this for three years now, which is so scary.”
Drew and Anya kick off the episode by acknowledging the podcast’s third anniversary. They reflect humorously on their journey, expressing disbelief at reaching such a milestone and commenting on the unexpected longevity of their show.
[03:34] Drew:
“Like, crazy vibes. And remember in the beginning when we were like, yeah, we're probably only going to do it for, like, a year and, like, give up then, but the...”
The hosts share nostalgic thoughts about their initial uncertainties and the surprising validation that kept them going beyond their initial expectations.
[04:25] Anya:
“We broke the ceiling of the studio. Well, I have to look at my notes cuz now I'm so like discombobulated at the fact that we have.”
Amidst celebrating, Drew humorously reveals he’s “floating” in the studio, creating a surreal and comedic atmosphere. This leads to playful banter about the absurdity of the situation and their attempts to continue the episode despite the chaos.
3.1 Vtubers and Digital Personas
[06:05] Anya:
“Why have we normalized people doing live streams wearing that VR? Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you seen that on Tick Tock?”
The hosts delve into the phenomenon of Vtubers—virtual YouTubers using digital avatars—and express skepticism and amusement at the trend. They discuss the blending of reality and digital personas, questioning the authenticity and societal impact of such technologies.
[07:13] Drew:
“Oh, let me find that. Cuz it's like really, really like dystopian and advanced.”
Drew highlights the futuristic and somewhat dystopian aspects of Vtubers, pondering the direction in which digital entertainment is headed.
3.2 Flat Earth and Moon Landing Theories
[20:28] Anya:
“Yesterday somebody posted a video of the moon and there was like a light trail behind it. And they were like, see the leftover rays from the sun? Because the sun is planted.”
Anya brings up recent conspiracy theories they've encountered online, including flat Earth beliefs and skepticism about the moon landing. The conversation turns into a satirical critique of misinformation spread through social media, emphasizing the absurdity of certain modern beliefs.
4.1 Scabies Fears
[23:00] Anya:
“I have scabies recently, and I don't have scabies.”
Anya shares her humorous yet relatable anxiety over scabies, mingling it with genuine concerns about health and hygiene. The conversation evolves into a comedic exploration of hypochondria and the challenges of distinguishing actual ailments from imagined ones.
[24:24] Anya:
“Well, I'm kidding. I was convinced. Oh, you know why I was convinced? Because somebody recently told me that ringworm was going around in the gyms in LA.”
Her exaggerated fears lead to laughter and further banter as she recounts her interactions with healthcare professionals and her persistent worries.
5.1 The Order Mishap
[34:17] Anya:
“Having it tonight. Wait, actually, yeah, I think I might have it with rain.”
Drew narrates a particularly frustrating experience where his Wingstop order was mishandled. He describes ordering a large meal through the Wingstop app, only for the delivery to be sent to the wrong address by DoorDash.
[35:29] Drew:
“I ordered it through the Wingstop app because I was like, you know what? Like, I'll give money to the Wingstop app instead of like the Postmates app or whatever.”
5.2 The Search for Missing Wings
[36:32] Anya:
“You didn't go find it?”
Determined to retrieve his lost wings, Drew and Anya embark on a neighborhood search, knocking on doors and scouring the area in a comedic quest for the missing food. Drew’s escalating frustration and exaggerated reactions add to the humor.
[39:07] Dorw:
“Wingstop is canceled.”
Despite their efforts, they fail to recover the order, leading Drew to vent his anger about customer service and the inefficiency of the process, highlighting the absurdity of modern food delivery systems.
6.1 Encounter with a Brand Employee
[42:07] Anya:
“And this boy's like, they have all those call centers are not allowed to hang up on you.”
Anya recounts an amusing encounter where a representative from a luxury brand recognizes them and reacts to their prank calls. The interaction underscores the chaotic and unpredictable nature of listener interactions, blending embarrassment with humor.
6.2 Realizing the Impact
[44:29] Drew:
“They taste like hella good. Like, if any brand has good tasting shoes, it's Mew Mew Mew.”
Their shared experiences of prank calling and the subsequent reactions serve as a comedic exploration of boundary-pushing antics and the unintended consequences of seeking attention.
7.1 The Fear of Aging
[30:56] Anya:
“I have this thought that was like very immature. But the other day I got seriously sad, like actually upset at the fact that I won't be a young turn crazy girl in the year 2069.”
The hosts delve into existential musings about aging, advancements in technology aimed at reversing age, and societal pressures related to youth and appearance. They humorously speculate on futuristic scenarios and the potential downsides of technological immortality.
7.2 The Moon Landing Conspiracy
[32:06] Drew:
“No, it's definitely in my car. It's like winning the lottery and becoming a flat earther are two things that...”
Reiterating their earlier skepticism, they continue to poke fun at conspiracy theories, blending genuine disbelief with satirical commentary on modern irrational beliefs.
8.1 Movie Reviews and Reactions
[49:25] Anya:
“I think I'm. I wish I enjoyed the Despicable Me franchise the way other people do, but I thought, true. Stop.”
Anya shares her mixed feelings about popular movies like Inside Out and Despicable Me, critiquing them from a comedic standpoint. Their discussions reveal differing perspectives on media consumption and the subjective nature of entertainment preferences.
8.2 Celebrity Encounters
[44:16] Anya:
“But he was like, yeah, no it was really funny because we usually just get mundane, like, regular calls because it's like, okay.”
Anya recounts a funny encounter with Natasha Bedingfield, blending fan enthusiasm with humorous storytelling about unexpected celebrity interactions.
As the episode nears its end, Drew and Anya continue their trademark blend of humor and chaos. They discuss unfinished business, express gratitude to their listeners, and end on a lighthearted note with more banter about ongoing mishaps and future plans.
[62:25] Anya:
“Kind of insane. Hopefully we make it to another year. Who. Who freaking knows?”
[62:35] Drew:
“It. It.”
Their final moments capture the essence of Emergency Intercom—unpredictable, humorous, and full of genuine camaraderie.
Anya on Anniversary:
“We've been doing this for three years now, which is so scary.” [03:08]
Drew on Flat Earth Theory:
“If you have a diss track that's made about you and it's playing at parties, you go home, don't go out.” [48:26]
Anya on Scabies Anxiety:
“I actually have scabies.” [23:18]
Drew’s Wingstop Frustration:
“Wingstop will have to be forced to give me, force their hand. Yeah.” [40:16]
Conclusion:
“Big Things Anniversary” showcases Drew Phillips and Enya Umanzor’s unique comedic chemistry, blending personal anecdotes with sharp societal observations. Their playful interactions, coupled with relatable mishaps and humorous takes on modern phenomena, make this episode a memorable celebration of their podcast’s three-year milestone. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to Emergency Intercom, this episode offers a delightful mix of laughter, chaos, and insightful humor.