bottom erasure

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Bottom Erasure"

Release Date: January 5, 2024
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya and Drew navigate through humorous and chaotic conversations, often touching on personal anecdotes, pop culture, and everyday struggles.

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Introduction

The episode kicks off with a humorous take on the often overwhelming nature of New Year's resolutions. Drew Phillips sets the tone by expressing a sardonic view of the traditional hustle associated with the new year.

Notable Quote:

Drew (02:19): "You should feel overworked and burnt out right at the first week of the new year. That's what the new year is about."

---

New Year's Resolutions Gone Wild

The primary focus of the episode revolves around the hosts discussing their New Year's resolutions. The conversation is a blend of earnest intentions and comedic exaggerations, reflecting both the seriousness and the absurdity of setting personal goals.

Key Highlights:

• Drew's Cynicism: Drew mocks the pressure of New Year's resolutions, suggesting that life should embrace normalcy over relentless hustle.

  Notable Quote:

  Drew (02:19): "Life isn't about hustle. Life is about being normal."

• Kai's Dopamine Detox: Kai shares a unique resolution aiming for a "full-blown dopamine detox," humorously equating it to Mr. Beast's challenge.

  Notable Quote:

  Kai (04:23): "I want all the devices out of my life. Like a full blown dopamine detox."

• Inya's Self-Confidence Journey: Inya opens up about her desire to build more self-confidence, adding a sincere touch to the episode.

  Notable Quote:

  Inya (17:14): "I want to be more self confident. I'm a little bit afraid of everything."

• Humorous Resolutions: The hosts entertain listeners with exaggerated and funny resolutions such as losing an impossible amount of weight, gaining an absurd physique, and unconventional fitness goals.

  Notable Quote:

  Kai (13:16): "Lose 45 pounds. I did do that to you a couple times, actually."

---

Millennials vs. Gen Z: A Comedic Battle

A humorous debate unfolds as the hosts discuss generational stereotypes, with Kai expressing surprise at being labeled as Millennial-coded despite being part of Gen Z. This segment is filled with playful banter and witty remarks about cultural differences between the generations.

Key Highlights:

• Identity Crisis: Kai is taken aback by comments suggesting she gives off Millennial vibes, leading to a lighthearted exploration of generational identities.

  Notable Quote:

  Kai (07:34): "I was hurt to my heart. Like, I didn't invent Gen Z, but I didn't actually invent Gen Z."

• Stereotype Fights: The conversation delves into stereotypes like "poggers" and the misconceptions surrounding Snap, TikTok, and other generational catchphrases.

  Notable Quote:

  Inya (03:32): "What does POG stand for? Fat and white."

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Media and Entertainment: What We're Watching

The hosts transition into discussing their favorite and least favorite media from the past year. They touch upon movies like "Beef," "Saltburn," and "Poor Things," as well as TV shows like "Grey's Anatomy," offering their candid opinions and recommendations.

Key Highlights:

• Movie Reviews: Drew praises "Beef" for its compelling narrative, while Kai is enthusiastic about "Poor Things," comparing its attention to detail to "Pan's Labyrinth."

  Notable Quote:

  Drew (53:35): "I watched Beef and it was awesome. I watched every episode in like seven hours, and it was freaking lit."

• Grey's Anatomy Fandom: Kai expresses her unexpected love for "Grey's Anatomy," highlighting the show's mix of medical drama and romantic storylines.

  Notable Quote:

  Kai (61:10): "It's legitimately, like, the best show I've ever seen. To me, like, everything that happens in that show, like, it's horrible. Like, duh. Like, it's not good, but, like, it is so good."

• Contentious Opinions: The hosts share varied opinions on specific aspects of shows and movies, such as bisexual representation and plot developments, adding depth to their discussions.

  Notable Quote:

  Drew (56:42): "I walked out of that movie being like, oh, bisexual people are evil. That was like the start of bi erasure."

---

Personal Quirks and Confessions

Adding a personal touch, the hosts delve into their own quirks and habits. From Kai's humorous confession about having cum on her face to Drew's playful remarks about his appearance, the conversation remains light-hearted and engaging.

Key Highlights:

• Kai's Slugging Routine: Kai details her unconventional skincare routine known as "slugging," which involves applying Vaseline to her face, leading to laughs and teasing from her co-hosts.

  Notable Quote:

  Kai (53:35): "It's like peeling it off like Elmer's glue on the palm of my hand."

• Drew's Facial Concerns: Drew humorously worries about his complexion and how it appears on camera, leading to a playful exchange about their appearances.

  Notable Quote:

  Inya (52:12): "There's like a ton of cum on your face."

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Podcast Dynamics and Future Plans

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts brainstorm ideas for their podcast's direction, including potential rebranding and collaborative projects. They also touch upon the technical glitches experienced during the recording, adding another layer of humor.

Key Highlights:

• Rebranding Ideas: The hosts consider renaming the podcast to something shorter like "Ed Podcast," but quickly dismiss the idea due to potential misunderstandings.

  Notable Quote:

  Drew (36:30): "We should have just called the podcast Ed Podcast. That's what I was thinking."

• Future Content: They discuss incorporating more structured segments like "ins and outs" (ins) and "outs" (outs) for the year, blending personal goals with comedic elements.

  Notable Quote:

  Drew (15:09): "Then the last thing is limiting your screen time is out. Just indulge in your screen time."

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with the hosts wrapping up their discussions amidst playful banter and technical hiccups. They reinforce their camaraderie and set the stage for future episodes filled with humor, personal anecdotes, and entertaining conversations.

Final Notable Quote:

Kai (64:54): "Peace and love. Good job, Kai. You killed it."

---

Closing Thoughts

"Bottom Erasure" offers listeners a blend of humor, candid conversations, and relatable topics. Enya and Drew navigate through their resolutions, generational debates, and media preferences with ease, making for an engaging and entertaining listen. Whether you're seeking laughs or a glimpse into the hosts' lives, this episode delivers both in abundance.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Unknown Female Speaker]

It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous? Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or D.

[Drew]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Help. We're stuck at the computer.

[Kai]

Words wrapped and I don't know I'm leaving.

[Drew]

Stuck in the computer. I can't get it out of my head. Did that peak?

[Kai]

Yeah, yours is.

[Inya]

It sounded good, though. It sounded good.

[Drew]

Hi, guys. Hey. Hi, Drew. Did I realize what? Huh?

[Kai]

I was just gonna say we've like, recorded so much this week. I feel insane.

[Inya]

Good.

[Drew]

You should. You should feel overworked and burnt out right at the first week of the new year. That's what the new year is about. It's about getting all those resolutions and scaring yourself into the change that you think is not believable and then backing out and going back to your normal habits. Because life isn't about hustle. Life is about being normal.

[Kai]

And I feel so sick too.

[Drew]

Wait, did you get sick again, too?

[Kai]

I don't think I'm sick. I don't know why I feel like this, but I just feel like. So like foggy headed because you don't have me around. I literally is. I've withdrawn. Like I'm in like, the late stages of withdrawal. It's called postpartum depression disorder, actually.

[Drew]

Wait, what? Are you claiming you gave birth to me or.

[Kai]

No, no, it's called pause P A W s. It's the late stage of withdrawals when it's just strictly mental and not physical.

[Inya]

Pogs. Wait, did you say pogs?

[Kai]

Hogs? Poggers. No, P A W s. Oh, I.

[Drew]

Also thought you said pog and I was like, oh, my God, thank you.

[Kai]

Poggers.

[Inya]

What does POG stand for? Fat and white.

[Drew]

Fat ass White girls.

[Kai]

Oh, I thought it was like poggers in the chat. Like, let me drop some pogs down below.

[Inya]

Yeah, I think.

[Drew]

No, me and guys. Mine was elsewhere.

[Kai]

Yeah, well, no, no. Well, I thought we could come into this episode and maybe chat about our New Year's resolutions, our ins and outs. I didn't write in any ins and outs and I told Kai and Inya too, so they could do the heavy lifting. But I did write my resolutions down and I feel like if anybody wants to go first, they can. Or I can go ahead and start it.

[Drew]

Start with your resolution. Because I have a thing of ins and outs that is like, pretty obnoxious and weirdly, like, long question mark.

[Kai]

Perfect. No, that's perfect. Okay, then I'll start with my resolutions. Okay. My first one. I've been saying this a bunch recently, but, like a full blown dopamine detox. Like, I want all the devices out of my life. Like kale phone, I don't want to use it. I fully want to, like, just have everything out of my life that like, gives me any dopamine so I can like, go back to baseline because I think I'm functioning like, above baseline. And it's really scary when I even dip below where I'm at now when I'm like, at normal baseline of dopamine levels. I don't know how to describe it.

[Drew]

So basically you want to do Mr. Beast's last challenge when he locked himself in a room for 100 days. Did you watch that?

[Kai]

No, but that's literally what I wanted. I haven't watched any Mr. Beast videos because I was like, oh, I want to watch him with, with everybody when we get back.

[Drew]

But I think everybody's watched them because on my account, the Mr. Beast video was already watched. So that means somebody TV already watched it at our house.

[Kai]

Damn.

[Drew]

Also, Josiah does not wait for us to watch Josh and Josiah. They don't wait. Every time I'm like, oh, should we watch this? They're like, I've seen it already. Like, I genuinely think they have notifications on, and they see it immediately.

[Kai]

It's so op behavior. Like, it's not chill. It's not chill. Like, Well, I did do that to you a couple times, actually. I did it with Poor Things, which is the most insane movie I've ever seen. Like, in a good way. Like, I literally. I loved that movie. Like, if I haven't seen Barbie, and I will never see Barbie. But that's what I assume Barbie is about. Yeah, Like, I feel like it's adult Barbie. Yeah. Literally, Like, I feel like it's in the same wheelhouse.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is this mug I's drinking out of? What is that mug?

[Kai]

Wait, what?

[Drew]

It says main character energy.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. How do we boot in?

[Inya]

No, you can't. There's no.

[Drew]

Where'd you get that?

[Kai]

Okay, if you want to be the main character.

[Inya]

Yeah, I literally am. This is my room. Oh.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Since you want to be the main character so damn bad in your YouTube.

[Drew]

Kai, take it back.

[Inya]

I take it back. I'm not the main character. You guys are the main characters.

[Drew]

Thank you. Thank you, Drew, please, in its place, Drew, come back and make sure you.

[Kai]

Actually don't know how to do it. Wait, no, actually. Oh, here we go. All right, we're good.

[Drew]

Make sure to put yourself back above Kai where you belong.

[Inya]

Oh, yeah. I gotta put True Drew on top of me.

[Kai]

True.

[Drew]

Damn, that's actually turned 30 this year.

[Inya]

No, I actually don't. You know what's crazy is I've been lying to you guys because I just. I wanted there to be, like, a mystery. And then I reveal at 29 at my birthday, I'm like. I'm actually like, a cool age. Like, 24.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Inya]

Or something.

[Kai]

Yeah. Well, I saw a comment that horrified me, and it was talking about our last episode with Hamza and Martin, and the comment was like, omg, this is like Millennial versus Gen Z. And I was like, who are they calling Millennial? Because I know damn well it's not me. And then the bio said, oh, like, Drew and India just give Millennial vibes. And I was like. I went to the comments to see if anybody was talking about it, and everyone was like, yeah, no, I fully understand that. Like, Drew. And then you are so Millennial coded.

[Inya]

And I was like, you guys are.

[Kai]

I was like. I was actually hurt to my heart. Like, I didn't invent Gen Z, but I didn't actually invent Gen Z, but, like, it Freaked me out.

[Inya]

Well, for that episode, it was crazy because I'm kind of like the baby of the group. So I felt at home with Kai.

[Kai]

Is so baby with Martin and say your baby. Say.

[Drew]

Why do you say his name like that? Martin.

[Inya]

Martin. Because I'm a baby. Because I'm a baby. I'm still learning.

[Drew]

I will say I do think, like, as, like, like unintelligent as a lot of our humor is. I understand why people say we're millennial core. Like, we are kind of so old head. Like, all we do is talk about, like, young people adoring, like.

[Kai]

And that is so true, actually.

[Drew]

Your millennial paws.

[Kai]

Yeah, I, I literally. It is so foreign to me that I can't even act it. Like. And I'm like a world class actor and I just, like, I can't even act millennial because it's such like, it's.

[Drew]

That might make you not a world class actor because that might be one of the easiest roles to take on.

[Kai]

Oh, doggo galaxy donated. Donate a galaxy to me. That's so Gen Z, actually. Sorry. Like, I know that is.

[Drew]

That is millennial chorus. Because when I think of that, I think of Jeffree star Jason Nash, who might be the silent age. What is it? The people who went through war.

[Inya]

The silent age is like 80 year olds.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Inya]

I'm pretty sure that, like, you're so old you can't even speak.

[Kai]

It's like you're locked away in, like, old people homes.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's Jason Nash.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Inya]

Jason Nash almost hit me in his Tesla one time in Studio City.

[Kai]

I wish he did so.

[Inya]

You wish he hit me? You wish he hit me and I died.

[Drew]

Yeah, because then we would have taken him to small claims court. Hello.

[Inya]

Okay.

[Kai]

Is a big claim, actually. Oh, my God. I meant financially, bro.

[Inya]

Okay, okay.

[Kai]

Because you're so important to me.

[Inya]

Okay. Oh, okay, that's.

[Kai]

But that car would have been dented.

[Drew]

I don't know if his Prius would have.

[Kai]

It would have been total.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. I don't know if his Prius would have filed under large claim.

[Kai]

I saw. I saw someone talking about how Prius owners are the bravest people on this planet because they time and time again prove that they have the thickest skin of any person on this planet because they are just constantly berated for owning a Prius, yet they still drive it. And all I thought about was how brave Kai is. He's a brave soul. You're a brave soul.

[Inya]

I'm brave for a Lot of reasons, guys. Oh, also, I'm like a martyr in a lot of ways, I feel like. Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Drew]

A murder of what cause?

[Kai]

Straight white men.

[Inya]

Yeah, straight white love women. Yeah, that's true.

[Drew]

We do need more of those.

[Inya]

Oh, also, this belongs to my new roommate, by the way. Very.

[Kai]

Do you have a Tick Tock mug?

[Inya]

Yes, he makes tick tocks. And it's a mystery who it is. But you've seen it? Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, is. Have I seen him before?

[Inya]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Drew]

Oh, it's probably Vinnie Hacker.

[Kai]

Shh.

[Inya]

I wanted it to be a mystery. What the.

[Drew]

Well, I just don't believe in mysteries.

[Inya]

Yeah. So anyway, spread that around. Vinny Hacker and Kai Backshots Newman now live together in Silver Lake.

[Kai]

Shots. Newman.

[Inya]

That's what people call me. That's just my natural nickname as of.

[Drew]

Dude, that you might find that that's not, like, a cool nickname. They might be making fun of you. Yeah, no, like, it's not like, a nickname. Like, you're giving the back shots. Like, people give you back shots.

[Inya]

That's fine. That's okay. I don't have an issue with that.

[Drew]

I just don't think that's, like, Drew.

[Inya]

I don't have an issue with that.

[Kai]

Yeah, I don't know. But. Okay, wait, New Year's. I. I'm reading back my notes for my second one. Okay. So I was thinking. So you know how, like, I wanted to make my blind box toys or whatever? Well, I saw the market for the rose toy, and I was like, oh, wow, there's, like, a big, like, market for this. So I was like, I'm gonna make them vibrate and, like, have, like, clitoral suckers and in them. So it's going to be like a blind box, but with, like, a vibrator, and it's in my character's, like, silhouette.

[Drew]

I don't think that's gonna do as well as you think. Wait, are sex toys recession proof?

[Inya]

Yes, I think they go up in value.

[Drew]

Yeah, they have to be recession proof because people are, like, desperate for, like, a dopamine hit. So, like, yeah, damn, we should all get in that business. Like, what are we doing? All the celebrities making alcohol and. Which I think is kind of recession proof because people.

[Kai]

You need alcohol to survive. A real assession, a relaxation.

[Drew]

But, yeah, we need more celebrities dropping sex toys. Like, that's what we need.

[Kai]

Yeah, we need.

[Drew]

You tried it.

[Kai]

Blind box toys.

[Drew]

No, we don't. What. What are your other resolutions?

[Kai]

Lose 45 pounds.

[Drew]

Okay, so I think if you lose 45 pounds, you may pass away.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Inya]

You're gonna become two dimensional, dude.

[Drew]

That's like, I keep telling everybody.

[Kai]

I'm like, kidding.

[Drew]

I'm like, guys, my goal this year is to weigh 83 pounds. Like, that's my goal. I'm gonna hit the gym. I'm really gonna hit. If I weighed 83 pounds, I would die. I'd be in hospice.

[Kai]

That's unhealthy, that. No.

[Inya]

Into the drain, you know, like the drain grate. Yeah, yeah, into that and be swept away.

[Kai]

Y' all remember when Rihanna walked over the drain and heels?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That's what I want to do. That's one of my resolutions.

[Drew]

You want your body to be the heel or you want to walk over greats with me?

[Kai]

I want to walk over grades and heels this year. But my real.

[Drew]

I'm running on the treadmill. I get sucked into the thing. Like, I fall, but instead of falling off, I'm so thin that I get.

[Kai]

Caught in the, like, Revolver, you know, liquid cats. That's my goal this year, is to break all the bones in my body so I can fit inside of any base I want or bowl. No, my real goal.

[Drew]

Body goals going this.

[Kai]

Yeah. My real one is to, like, gain a bunch of weight. I want to be, like, a burly man. Like, I want to be nasty and big and strong.

[Drew]

I just want to be able to run for, like, 30 minutes straight.

[Kai]

Oh, that's a good.

[Drew]

So that when the killer comes after me, I will be getting away.

[Kai]

When the nuke drops, I can outrun it. Yeah.

[Drew]

I'm gonna be the first women. I'm gonna be the first woman to outrun the San Andreas fault line shattering this year.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, the second the earthquake starts, I'm gonna run away.

[Kai]

Did you see that? Iceland is, like, literally splitting in half.

[Drew]

Yeah. And we need to go.

[Kai]

I know. We need to go now.

[Drew]

Wait, are you done with your resolutions? Because I have really important ins and outs.

[Kai]

I have one more, and then I also.

[Inya]

I have a couple, too, so.

[Drew]

Okay. Your resolution.

[Kai]

More porn.

[Drew]

And it's gonna.

[Inya]

No, it's real.

[Drew]

It's gonna be the longest resolution list I've ever heard in my life. Because you're nearing the end, and you have so much to do.

[Inya]

Well, whenever you guys let me know with the camera, I take full advantage of it. So my ins and outs.

[Kai]

I mean, you are the main character. You are the main character. Hey. Hey. Okay, Wait, is that an Emma? Emma? Isn't her podcast called the main character podcast?

[Inya]

No, this is just a tick tock one.

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Kai]

Maybe it's the same font, I guess.

[Inya]

Is it really?

[Kai]

Yeah, it looks like the exact same font.

[Drew]

I actually don't know the name of it.

[Kai]

Again, my last one is just two camping trips or, like, two retreats to nature. Like, I need to. Or I want to go to, like, Canada and do that road trip up in Canada. Across Canada.

[Drew]

I'm super down for that. Yeah, I bet if we literally told Tavia right now, she would. She probably already has one plan for this year.

[Kai]

Yeah, and we can just tag along and ride it in the wheel well. I'll sleep in the bathroom. I love the bathroom.

[Drew]

Right in the wheel well. It's so funny.

[Kai]

Well, after I lose that £40, I'm.

[Drew]

Gonna be small enough she'll just put you in her Stanley Cup.

[Kai]

I'll be a mud flap for the car.

[Drew]

All right. Well, Kai, are you gonna go, or should I start my ins and outs?

[Inya]

Oh, yeah. I want to drink alone more. I drink alone a lot, but I want to drink alone more.

[Drew]

Like, how often?

[Inya]

Drew, please come back. What the.

[Kai]

I feel like I just don't support this.

[Drew]

Drew, when friends say that you're supposed to show up for them, not disappear.

[Kai]

Yeah, that was the way I came back. Immediate. Like, I came back before you even said, drew, come back.

[Inya]

Okay, so you guys want me to do, like, real ones? You want me to be earnest?

[Kai]

No, no, do it. Do whatever you want.

[Inya]

I want to be less. I want to have more self confidence.

[Drew]

Do you actually, like, feel like you lack a lot of self confidence?

[Inya]

I do.

[Kai]

A lot.

[Inya]

Yeah. Like, it.

[Kai]

I feel like it was literally hot.

[Drew]

So I need to lose some confidence.

[Kai]

Look. Look at that smile. You're literally hot.

[Inya]

I'm serious. Well, it's cuz you're rising me up and I'm getting wet, and I'm creating male snail trails. Okay, let me see. What's another thing? Oh, yeah. I want to be more self confident. I. I'm a little bit afraid of everything. And then I want to get 10, 000 steps a day. I want to be.

[Kai]

That's a good one. I want to just go to Disney every day.

[Inya]

Yeah, exactly. I want to be walking around LA and people just be like, oh, my God. Like, that guy steps. He's lost so much weight. He probably.

[Drew]

I see that. No, they're gonna be like, oh, my God. I see that guy walking around every day. He must not have a car.

[Kai]

He's the killer. No, Kai, back to your self confidence. One Like, a little bit of advice is, like, if you want to be more self confident, like, just be more confident. You know?

[Drew]

That's what I was gonna say. Smile more often.

[Inya]

Okay.

[Drew]

Make people. Just make people, like, find you attractive, which I guess I don't. Drew, how do you do that? Because I just kind of like, when I show up, it happens.

[Kai]

I'm you. Oh, it's already working.

[Inya]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

You immediately look like somebody yanked your face back with face tape.

[Inya]

Okay, genuine question. Should I just do this, like, 10% all the time?

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

No, no, no, no.

[Inya]

Okay.

[Drew]

No, I don't. I don't like how good you are at it.

[Kai]

Also, your eyes, like, cross a little bit. Wait, can I do that?

[Inya]

What?

[Kai]

Your hair is looking so fluffy today.

[Inya]

Oh, wow. Thank you. It's because I just watched it.

[Kai]

The fluffy thing. Our goat. You know our goat? We laid in bed together, crying, laughing at this. Tick tocks.

[Inya]

Oh, I don't know. What?

[Kai]

Andrew Curtis.

[Inya]

Dude, I don't know.

[Kai]

The clip win streak.

[Drew]

Your hair looks very bouncy.

[Kai]

He's on live stream and someone says, oh, your hair is looking really fluffy today.

[Inya]

I can't do that, though. What does he do? He's like.

[Kai]

He's literally. Wait, do I do it?

[Drew]

No, wait. You can't do it. You kind of look like you're fainting, Drew.

[Inya]

But, yeah, those were my real. Those were my real resolutions.

[Drew]

I don't write any resolutions. Wait, is that it?

[Inya]

Yeah. And I do want to drink alone. That. That one was kind of real, too. I want to, like, be on my. Jack Kerouac.

[Kai]

Who the is that?

[Drew]

You might find that that's a slippery slope.

[Inya]

Yeah. Yeah. I want to be in more.

[Kai]

I want to be.

[Inya]

Be in more slippery slopes this year.

[Kai]

Oh, that's a good idea. Get a cat. Get a cat.

[Inya]

I'm thinking about it, actually. I do want. There's a. There's one at my new apartment that. His name's Marty, and he's always, like, trying to get in, and I'm like, maybe that's just my cat now, you know?

[Kai]

Damn. Yeah.

[Drew]

Wait.

[Kai]

Oh, is it, like, an outside cat?

[Inya]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, his. His. His owners, like, hate him. Like, it'll be pouring rain and they'll put him outside.

[Kai]

That's so evil.

[Inya]

Maybe he's daddy's cat now. Maybe he's daddy's cat now.

[Drew]

No, he's PETA's cat. You need to call animal services if they're putting that out on the street when it's raining.

[Kai]

Yeah, I know the cat Distribution system is literally targeting you.

[Drew]

Okay, well, here are my ins and outs. I don't have any resolutions. I do, actually. All of my resolutions are, like, health wise, though. Like, I wanna. I wanna shop less, which isn't a health thing. It's just, like, a financial thing. Drew, you look, like, frozen.

[Kai]

Oh, because I'm serving. No, I'm not frozen. I'm serving.

[Drew]

That's, like, not a good serving.

[Kai]

Like a hungry man. Like Lean Cuisine right now.

[Drew]

What does that mean?

[Kai]

I don't know. I was, like, playing off of, like, the frozen thing. Like, I'm like, a frozen. I'm a meal best.

[Drew]

You're like, a frozen. No, but a Lean Cuisine. Is it best served frozen. You, like, heat it up.

[Kai]

What is, like, I'm, like, giving ice cream right now. What the.

[Drew]

Dude, maybe we are millennial cutting, because that was, like, insane. Okay, I want to shop less. I do want to go running, which is at the gym four times a week, because I do want to learn how to run. For what? I don't know. Like, I just feel like being able to run really fast and far away from people really quickly is kind of a flex. Like, it's just a vibe. And then.

[Kai]

Wait, I want to eat out yours. Eat out me?

[Drew]

No, I want to eat less coochie this year. Because I feel like last year, I did get kind of carried away, and then it was a lot to say.

[Kai]

You can't stop eating me out, bro.

[Drew]

No, you're. You're always on the menu, Bay.

[Kai]

Yeah, okay, but what was the one before that?

[Inya]

Eating less coochie.

[Kai]

No, no, no, no, no. Like, you're.

[Drew]

I said I want to shop less. Run more.

[Kai]

Run. Okay, well, I had a joke, but I lost it, so.

[Drew]

Okay. And then I want to eat. Like, I want to cook more this year because I don't cook myself meals. And that's, like, kind of sad, but, like, also, I don't believe in.

[Kai]

I'm with you all.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, I want to learn how to actually cook. Like, I'm about to, like, binge watch, like, Father Kel's Sydney Carlson cooking.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, I'm, like, 100 with you on that. Just because, like, the amount of money I spend on food is, like, horrifying. But then I always have that conundrum where I'm like, bro, like, if I buy the food, the ingredients to make it, like, it costs four times the amount if I just ordered it, so I might as well just order it. But then I'm not thinking properly where you buy, like, five Chickens or whatever. Chicken fillets. And then you make five different chicken meals.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Bitch want to call me Millennial? Okay, well, I'm getting a tattoo, and I'm going to get Fortnite across my forehead right here.

[Drew]

I would stand by the fortnight. No, it is not.

[Kai]

It fell the fuck off, bro.

[Drew]

Don't talk about that shit like that.

[Kai]

Yeah, Fortnite fell off.

[Drew]

Okay, well, here are my ins and outs. It's pretty lengthy. I almost posted, but I held it back. Here, my 2024 predictions in letting your phone die at night and waking up scared because you don't know what time it is. That's a good vibe to me in not wearing underwear. Not in a sexy way, but just because it is a scam to keep buying underwear. And I do not want to just.

[Kai]

Wear the same pair every single day like I do. I'm not washing my underwear.

[Drew]

Dude, your skin marks are so layered. I feel like I could chip it off. And it looked like Tree bar.

[Kai]

Yeah, I was gonna say, like, there's like. No, I'm not gonna say that. That's gross. I'm just so horny all the time. I'm making pre come that there's, like, a layer pre come, like, at the base of my penis. Yeah.

[Drew]

When you think it has a bulge, it's like Elmer's glue when you roll it up into a ball. Standing outside with your arms crossed, staring at the sky and street, specifically when you spent all day inside.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, that's one of mine. Wait, you. You go ahead.

[Drew]

Oh, I was just gonna say, like, I, like, am really into standing on the porch recently, which I did a lot last year.

[Kai]

Like, they were onto something with that. Old people are on this.

[Drew]

No, old people. We literally need to get chairs for out front and just sit there.

[Kai]

Yeah, just sit in there. They. No, like, my vibe was like, I was walking to Madeline and Steven's house from my parents house, and this is an end for me is, like, when you're walking, like, outside, just, like, look up at the sky. It's, like, really disorienting and borderline. Like, it gets you high. And I was having, like, an almost euphoric experience looking at the clouds change. And we need to bring back, like, pointing shapes out of the clouds, like, oh, that looks like an elephant. Like, that's in for me. Sometimes, y' all.

[Drew]

Sometimes you sound. You sound like you've been sober for a long time, because anything that brings you a little joy, you're like. It's almost like being High.

[Kai]

Well, no, try it. Like, I'm just high on life now.

[Drew]

Yeah, I do agree. Not doing shit you don't want to simply say. I just don't want to do that. No, I'm okay. Thank you. Or please stop bothering me.

[Inya]

Did you hear that?

[Kai]

Are you okay? Are you okay?

[Inya]

And you're. Your voice sounds.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. I think I'm in hell. I literally think I'm in hell. And Anya has been a succubus demon that has been stalking me my whole life. What? No, because she sounds like a male.

[Inya]

It sounds like a man's voice, right?

[Kai]

It sounds like she's speaking 30, like, languages, including Latin. It sounds like a demon whispering in my ear at night.

[Drew]

It's weird.

[Kai]

Oh, now you're back. You're back.

[Inya]

Oh, you're back.

[Drew]

Oh, you know what I think it is? I think this mic might be broken.

[Kai]

It literally is tapped into hell. I'm pretty sure. Like the screaming souls of hell.

[Inya]

Didn't that sound like a bunch of different voices at once? Yeah, yeah, voices.

[Drew]

Is it okay if I just use this mic?

[Kai]

Because this one is perfect, whatever you're doing right now.

[Drew]

Okay. Well, also, what's in is local news. I would like to be fear mongered based on my location. I miss just watching the news and being really scared about my surrounding neighborhood because I have not felt the fear of, like, a neighborhood that I've lived in for, like, a really long time. And I was just like, wow, we need to go back to like the 247 news cycle just playing on the TV like all day and night.

[Kai]

That's actually a good one.

[Drew]

Out is excessive self care. It's just not that serious, really. Ex. Excessive. Like, oh, I. I microblade. I ice roll. I do. Like, okay, like, yeah, you're. When you die tomorrow, guess what you're going to look like in that casket. Because your parents are not going to get makeup by Ariel to come and beat your face so the plumpness of your face won't even matter because you're going to look like in your casket. So the excessive self care is pointless. Being drunk is out for me, which is like opposing Kai's wanting to drink more. Like, I've never, like, drank and then been like, oh, I'm so happy I drank last night. Like, that was the best decision I ever made. Being drunk is just out waiting in lines. Nothing is worth waiting for.

[Kai]

That is a stark contrast from the India I knew two years ago. You go to Miami and you become a completely different person because you Love lines.

[Drew]

I know, but I decided, like, it's kind of like I'm wasting minutes. I'm never gonna get back for something that, like, is kind of pointless. Like, what am I waiting for? Like, I'm trying to think of what I would wait in line for, and I can't think of a single thing that I'm like, oh, my God, I would love to wait for that. Like, I want it so bad. I'll wait for it. Vegetarian and veganism, we will all perish sooner than you realize. Be free.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, I'm gonna start eating, like, rodents.

[Drew]

And, yeah, I want to eat raw meat this year.

[Kai]

Like, roaches. I bet roaches, like, in 2058 are gonna, like, be a delicacy. Like, they're gonna be the only thing we can eat because they're the only thing that can survive. Like, the pollution.

[Drew]

Is there any nutritional value from a roach, though?

[Inya]

It's gotta be protein. There's gotta be protein. They're all.

[Drew]

Yeah, there has to be something in there. And then the last two things that are out for 2024, one being travel vloggers. I don't give a where you sat in the plane. Don't take a picture of it. Just get on the plane in silence. And then the last thing is limiting. Your screen time is out. Just indulge in your screen time. It literally doesn't matter. We are a generation of the screen, and you are not going to be the first person to break it. I don't care how many books you read, because when you finish your book reading time, you will get on that phone and tell me you read.

[Kai]

So, yeah, bedrotting is in. Like, it's always been in and always will be in. Okay. I found out that German cockroaches contain about 78 grams of protein per 100 grams dry weight. So, like, find a hundred grams of cockroaches and you can survive.

[Drew]

That actually sounds like a lot of cockroaches to find that.

[Kai]

Like, but that's also crazy. That means, like, one cockroach, like, one gram of cockroach contains, like, 0, 78. Like, 78 of its body, is essentially protein.

[Drew]

Ew.

[Kai]

I just thought of, you know, what else contains protein?

[Drew]

Oh, my God. What? You're come. What were you gonna say?

[Kai]

I was literally gonna say protein powder. Like, you're weird, bro. Like, literally. What are you on about? You're always on about some, like, give me your come.

[Drew]

Like, I've never said that to you. Well, I think I've also decided that birds are disgusting. Because I've seen two videos that grossed me the out. One of them being like the hollow chest part. It actually makes me want to kill myself. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Kai]

Wait, autopsies?

[Drew]

No, like somebody moved the feathers of a bird apart and like they had like this like, like harder like shell casing. And it was like where they're like making the noise from. It was like a tick tock. I saw. I'll find it and show it to you. It is disgusting. And then I saw how birds grow their feathers.

[Unknown Female Speaker]

I know you've been wondering how feathers grow and this is what they look like when they're brand new. It's so creepy. Looks a little bit weird. They look like spines or some sort of horrendous growth coming out of the bird. But these are pin feathers. And this is what, what a brand new baby feather looks like when it comes through the skin. It pierces through the skin covered in this sheath which is made out of keratin, the sort of stuff your nails and hair are made out of.

[Drew]

And I am not kidding. Birds are so nasty. And if you have pet birds, something is actually wrong with you. And that's where I stand on that.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, I'm. I'm still there. I have gotten over like birds attacking me constantly and I don't think they're out to get me anymore. New fear is drones. Drones are evil. We need to like eradicate like drones. Drones are out and not like war drones, like personal flying drones.

[Drew]

I know what you're talking about. Oh, dude. I'm trying to find the video of this fucking bird chest and it's so gross. But every time I look up bird trust, it's like a man, like, what's happening?

[Inya]

Isn't that like a term for a guy that hasn't bulked yet?

[Kai]

There's. It's that and there's pectus carinatum and pectus carinatum or pectus carinatum and pectus excavatum. Excavatum is when your chest goes in and you've seen the clips of people eating bowls of cereal, like out of their like, sternum spot. That's excavate them. And then Karen Adam is when it goes out like a mountain.

[Drew]

Well, I'm never gonna find this video because it's only videos of men's chest. But there's a video of someone.

[Kai]

Wait, let me see. Can you, can you show me that videos? No, I just want to see it, like, because it's like hairy.

[Drew]

They're all, like, gross, shaved down.

[Kai]

Okay. Actually nasty, but yeah, that's out. Men shaving their body is out.

[Drew]

Yeah. Men who shave their body kind of freak me out, but, like, to each their own. I feel like Kai probably shapes his chest. No, I don't like shaving chest vibes.

[Inya]

I don't shave my chest. You. If you shave your chest, then it grows in this. The. This is what I've heard is that if you shave your chest and ass, it's really uncomfortable because it gets itchy. Drew.

[Kai]

Yeah, I've shaved my ass when I was, like, 18 before. And I was like, it was probably when I was 17, because I remember being in the back. The poltergeist is literally haunting me. I swear to God. But I remember being the back in the back of a class like this.

[Drew]

Why wouldn't you just use your hand to hit your ass through your pants?

[Kai]

Because you look putting my hands in my butthole.

[Inya]

This is.

[Drew]

I'm not saying in your butthole.

[Inya]

I feel like every, like boy has gone through this once. They go through puberty and their ass gets all hairy. You shave it with, like, a razor and then you're in. Next thing you know, you're like, yeah, you're rubbing your ass against dude.

[Drew]

Girls shave their ass all the time. It's like a common thing like that. Everybody's like, oh, my God, my butt. It just because I shaved my ass.

[Inya]

See, I don't know stuff like that.

[Drew]

How about this?

[Kai]

Million kids come up missing per year. What do you all think happened to these kids? Every time people come up missing, the.

[Drew]

More and more people come up missing.

[Kai]

The more they release more chicken sandwiches.

[Drew]

And I'm noticing it.

[Kai]

I literally.

[Drew]

That will always be the prophetic video ever.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's like, prophetic. It's literally, like, genius. Like, because it really does make you.

[Drew]

Think so badly if he meant that with, like, his whole heart or if he was just, like, being funny. Because if he meant it, that's crazy. But if he made that as a joke, that is the funniest joke I've ever heard told in our, like, time. Like, it is so good. Well, also, on the last episode, you talked about the Sephora thing, and I was like, what are you talking about? I've been seeing all the tick tocks about, like, the rowdy ass, annoying children who go into Sephora. So I think my resolution this year is if any Sephoras need somebody to stand at the front door and kick a 10 year old in the head, I will take the job.

[Kai]

You can't kick 10 year olds in the head.

[Drew]

Well, support can write into their guidelines that if a 10 year old crosses that entryway line that I can kick them in the head, then I think I technically can.

[Kai]

So scared of. Yeah, like I'm so scared of me. Yes.

[Drew]

Oh, good. We should have just called the podcast Ed Podcast. That's what I was thinking. Because, like, emergency intercom's like so long and then if we called it Ed, it's and you Drew podcast.

[Kai]

No, no. And then we could have had this function.

[Drew]

Then we could have had like, I love Ed for merch.

[Inya]

No, I feel like that wouldn't have gone over that.

[Kai]

That is like maybe the worst thing you've ever said because what's.

[Drew]

It's just our initials.

[Kai]

No, it's eating disorder.

[Drew]

Yeah, because we're eating this order like.

[Kai]

We'Re eating the order that was served to us frozen.

[Drew]

What do you say? Why am I giving ice cream?

[Kai]

I'm giving ice cream right now. Well, what's your ins and outs?

[Inya]

Did you do yours already, Drew or.

[Kai]

I don't have any. I've told you how to write them and then. I didn't write them.

[Inya]

Okay, I'll do my ends a. 24 movies. You know, when you see that logo, it's going to be a good ass movie.

[Drew]

Okay, that. All right. Just keep going.

[Inya]

Okay, Matt Rife goat.

[Drew]

Okay, keep going. Because I. This might be. Is this for your 2023 or 2024?

[Inya]

This is 2024 being a male Pick me the bell Jar.

[Kai]

Give us. Give it. Wait. Kai, give us like your best male pick me energy right now.

[Drew]

He did it. He's been doing it for the past.

[Inya]

36 minutes for the past like 20 episodes, if you. If you have noticed. Okay, what else is in, Kai? Oh, the bell Jar.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Inya]

My year of rest and relaxation. Anything really by Joan Didion. Omnipresent surveillance by governments is in. Guys, we're going to see more of this as time goes on and we're going to be losing more and more of our privacy rights. Me being the baby of the group is in. I think we can all agree that that is in.

[Kai]

Say I'm baby.

[Inya]

I'm baby. I'm literally baby. Okay, 2006 Xbox era lag switches.

[Kai]

Oh, shit. We should do.

[Inya]

Looking at.

[Drew]

I don't know what that is.

[Kai]

Oh, dude, it was like this.

[Inya]

It was like these electronic switches that you would connect to your Xbox to, like up the Internet connection and then you could like headshot people because you would like lag around and stuff. It was basically.

[Kai]

It was so. It would, like, shut everyone's Internet off for, like, as long as you wanted, and it would lag everybody in the game and you could just go and, like, sweat and stomp all over the lobby.

[Inya]

Yeah. Okay, let me do. I'm gonna do one more in Sprite. Sprite is in, guys. Sprite. Lemon lime is refreshing, it tastes good, and it's super cheap.

[Drew]

Is this an ad read for Sprite that you're, like, throwing in here?

[Inya]

I have to drink it for the super good. Okay, I'm gonna do my outs.

[Kai]

Wait. McDonald's tasting like electricity.

[Inya]

Tastes like TV static.

[Drew]

Finish it. You didn't even finish it, though. If it's so good, finish it. Chug it, Kai.

[Kai]

Finish the Sprite and then eat a banana. Eat a banana.

[Drew]

You should have a bite of a banana. Take half of the Sprite, finish the banana.

[Inya]

Is that, like, a thing? It's, like, bad or something?

[Drew]

No, it's. No, it literally, like, apparently it, like.

[Kai]

Cures cancer or something.

[Inya]

Oh, I don't know about. I didn't know about that. Okay, out. Sambas, they're cooked. I think we can all agree that sambas are cooked. Ketamine therapy is out. Everyone who did it has severe brain damage, including me.

[Kai]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Inya]

Locking in is out. Because a lot of people do.

[Kai]

Wait, what? Locking in.

[Inya]

Locking in.

[Kai]

Oh, like, like, lock in. Like, lock in real quick.

[Inya]

Locking in because ketamine therapy and now your brain is all melted and you can't. You can no longer lock in.

[Drew]

Federal Reserve.

[Inya]

Raising interest rates. I think we're done raising interest rates in 2024. Inflation is now under control, and we're going to stimulate the economy, and we're going to see equities soar in 2024. So those are my ins and outs for 2024.

[Kai]

Well, I came up with a few while we were sitting here. They're not nearly as good as yours, Kai, but you had some really great ones. Okay, I have one out, and it's fentanyl poisoning. Why are you laughing?

[Drew]

Was that ever in?

[Kai]

Like, was that, like. I was rooting for it.

[Drew]

Oh, okay. You might be the only one who. Who was like, oh, my God. Like, this needs to catch on. I think ins and outs is, like, kind of like, oh, my God. Trends.

[Kai]

Oh, well, yeah. Well, then fentanyl poisoning is in. Like. Is that what y' all want me to say?

[Drew]

Like, no, no. Like, it's just like, why? Okay, keep going.

[Kai]

Okay. In Lana Del Rey.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

And being happy.

[Drew]

Are you just Gonna smile to be happy.

[Kai]

Or as the prophet Cameron Dallas once said, don't be depressed.

[Drew]

Just smile.

[Kai]

Just smile.

[Drew]

You have such, like, a creepy pasta smile. Like.

[Kai]

No, this is my real smile. I don't know if I never learned how to smile or if I have so much bul. Fat or so much collagen in my skin that, like, I can't smile. Like, my teeth, like, I feel like they're, like, too far back in my mouth.

[Drew]

You're so Edgar Allan Poe, like, coded.

[Kai]

But that's not a good smile.

[Drew]

That's not your real smile.

[Kai]

This is my real. I swear to God, this is my real smile.

[Drew]

How do you smile for a photo like this?

[Kai]

No, I swear to God, look at any picture of me smiling.

[Drew]

You look like you're a cold case that just got solved thanks to the new DNA. But you're like, Kate has been cold since 1831.

[Kai]

No, I swear this is how I smile.

[Drew]

I'm not. I don't know. That's how I smile for a photo.

[Kai]

I'm like, oh, Kai, you smile.

[Inya]

Wait, did you. Oh, why did. Why did she leave? Oh. All right, guys, main character.

[Drew]

No, don't get to talk.

[Inya]

I didn't even get into my. I didn't get into it. I feel like I didn't have a chance.

[Drew]

My ends are when friends seem like they need help and that extra judge to keep them going, just ignore it. Because taking on people's emotions is really hard for yourself. And especially if you're in a good place, you shouldn't be helping other people because they're just going to bring you back down. So if you've gone up and your friends are still behind, you should keep going, because if that friend really cared for themselves, they would just catch up. A big out for me is working with friends. So you might see this year that I'm just, like, distancing myself and, like, kind of focusing on myself. And if you see a podcast where it's just a girl, only a girl, and the girl is money.

[Kai]

Should we announce our podcast together, Kyle?

[Inya]

Oh, yeah.

[Kai]

Should we announce it right now?

[Inya]

Let's do it. All right, on three. One, two, three. Money Angels. Video games Angels.

[Kai]

Well, that's the name.

[Drew]

It's called podcast 444.

[Inya]

Oh, that's 444.

[Kai]

Okay. Would y' all get a tattoo of me if I died?

[Drew]

Yes. But not of your faith?

[Kai]

No. Like, what would your tattoo be?

[Inya]

Oh, would I get another tattoo of you? I guess. Is the question about the first one the brand, or.

[Drew]

Oh, when you branded him. That's not. That's not really like, a friendship tattoo. That's kind of like a leadership thing.

[Inya]

Have we ever talked about on the podcast how, like, a week into me knowing Drew, he, like, oh, my God, branded me and, like, carved something into my skin?

[Drew]

No, but it sounds like something you have you do and sign.

[Kai]

Fully conventional or it was fully consensual?

[Inya]

Oh, it was super conventional.

[Kai]

But the thing is. No, we haven't talked about it. I don't think we're ready to talk about it because the way you reacted was borderline depressing, so. And it got infected, and that's why you can never see the lower half of your body.

[Inya]

It was also a QR code, so there was a lot of detail.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was a QR code.

[Drew]

Oh, that's what I would do. I would get a QR code and it would be a link to a tick tock of you and me, Drew.

[Kai]

Like, actually, though, because I think, like, for you and you, I would probably get a bunny. And for Kai, I haven't really thought about it too much, but probably the Nike logo. Okay.

[Inya]

Why?

[Kai]

Big Nike guy. You love Nike.

[Inya]

I don't really like Nike that. I feel like you guys don't even know me.

[Drew]

You're always wearing Nike.

[Inya]

I don't remember the last time I wore.

[Drew]

Aren't the sandy shoes Nike? The ones with sand in them?

[Inya]

No, those are e. Those are Asics.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, I saw someone do like, pick your. Like, it was like, pick your favorite emergency intercom moment. And the sandy shoe was one of them. And it was.

[Inya]

I think about that, and it's. It is crazy how that wasn't scripted in my shoes.

[Kai]

It was not like.

[Drew]

Like, why was it full of sand? Had you gone to the beach or. Like. I guess it's because when you get to that age, you're. You're just slowly deteriorating.

[Inya]

I started to turn into those.

[Drew]

At the end of the day. It, like, you shake it and it's just like little ashes.

[Kai]

I would probably get, like, one. I could get the glossier logo, I think. Yeah, like, kind of iconic, but, like.

[Drew]

Then you'd kind of just looking. Look like a billboard for glossier. I don't know if anybody would be like, oh, my God, Kai Newman bootleg glossier hoodie that he always Prius logo. Oh, the Prius would be good.

[Inya]

What about, like, a big. Like, what about the spongebob where he has a bunch of cash and he has, like, grills to represent?

[Drew]

Oh, you know what you could do?

[Kai]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

You could get like, a dove leaving a cage because you're freed now that he's dead.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You're like, oh, you're free.

[Inya]

Okay.

[Drew]

Not Kai's free, but Drew's free.

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

You got me.

[Kai]

That's not what I was saying. I was saying that Kai was free.

[Drew]

And, like, I think I would get a little anatomy, like, for Drew, I would get, like, a little anatomy. Like, you know, the. Have you ever seen, like, the Korean tattoo artists who do, like, little, like, anemones and, like, sea creatures in color? Yeah, I would get one of those for you. Oh, my. In this year is Kai should become a father, but by accident, and it should be big.

[Kai]

I would actually make a very good dad. Like, I genuinely do believe that. Like, I really.

[Drew]

Then who's gonna do the. Like, edit the podcast?

[Inya]

The baby?

[Drew]

Like, think about us.

[Inya]

A baby's already editing the podcast, so.

[Kai]

Okay, you can teach a baby how to edit it.

[Drew]

Okay. Last thing I need to talk about something that was freaking me the out is food eating competitions. Like, why did we let that happen in society? And also food eating competition. Like, vloggers who just go around to random restaurants and set up the camera and eat food. Like, have you watched the way they eat food? It is genuinely so scary. They're, like, scarfing it down. And there's one girl who's buff as. Who eats hella food.

[Kai]

Okay, but Matt Stone. I think it's Matt Stone. Matt Stoney. He's like a YouTuber that eats.

[Drew]

Oh, the guy.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, he's go. He's like, in Kobayashi, when he would eat all the hot dogs really quick. And then the cheater. There was, like, a big cheating scandal. Like, I kept up with the food eating contest.

[Drew]

How do you even cheat?

[Kai]

Like, because, like, you would stuff. Like someone stuffed a bunch of, like, the hot dog bread inside of their water cup. So they were just eating the hot dogs. Hot dogs. And then, like, he won. And then they watched the footage back after they, like, crowned him champ, and they were like, oh, wait, like, he cheated. And it was, like, a big thing in the food eating world. But yeah, Kobayashi is the goat. He will always be my go.

[Drew]

Matt Stone does it in his car, right? Matt Stoney. Like, he.

[Kai]

No, he's like a YouTuber. He's been doing it on YouTube.

[Drew]

I think I might be thinking of somebody else because I remember there was, like, an OG YouTuber who used to just, like, eat a bunch of food in his car. Like, a ton of food, but I might be thinking of someone else. But, like, it is so weird. And then there's always, like, this one girl I was watching. There's always an audience that gathers around her and, like, they watch her and, like, cheer her on.

[Kai]

Is she on Tick Tock? Yeah, I've stumbled upon her before.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was genuinely freaking me out.

[Kai]

Like, I was gonna say, there's this dude that I've been keeping up with, and I was telling you about him, like, a few weeks ago, how he had, like. Like, right before we left, like, there. There were people that just, like, genuinely hate him for absolutely no reason. And he would, like, he. He would go to restaurants, and people would, like, follow him around the country and, like, watch him eat while he's live on Tick Tock. And that's, like, his whole thing. And he just being a groupie for.

[Drew]

Like, a food eater.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's. That's another level of like. Well, okay, let's be honest. Like, since I am eating so often, like, technically, emergency intercom fans are, like, watching me. Every time they watch me, they watch me eat and devour the competition.

[Inya]

I think you eat all the time, Drew. I think you always look amazing. Can you put me back.

[Drew]

Guy? I don't know how to make you come back. Where did Drew go? Drew's camera just went black. He didn't even like, what the hell?

[Kai]

Why is my camera gone? It's whenever you move.

[Inya]

It's whenever you move.

[Drew]

Drew, why are the lights off?

[Kai]

Oh, I don't know. The lights just went off. But I found a flashlight that has a black light, and I was like, oh, like, look, like, oh, no. Come on. My hands.

[Drew]

I don't know if that's not funny. Like, it would make. It makes sense that. Oh.

[Inya]

What was that shine on your face again?

[Kai]

Why?

[Drew]

Because we can't see. Oh. Whoa.

[Inya]

True.

[Kai]

There's, like, what?

[Inya]

There's, like, a ton of cum on your face.

[Drew]

It's, like, a lot.

[Kai]

I can't even see. What are you talking about?

[Inya]

What do you mean? It's, like, all over your face.

[Drew]

Why would you wash your face?

[Kai]

I gotta go.

[Drew]

Oh, are you gonna wash your face at least or just, like, leave it on?

[Kai]

Are you gonna shut the up or something?

[Inya]

There's just a bunch of so much.

[Drew]

Come on your face.

[Inya]

There's, like, a ton of comb all over you.

[Kai]

Okay. And I get play. You're probably jealous. Like, oh, you wish. Like, it's basically like, slugging. Like, it's like. You ever heard of slugging when you.

[Drew]

That is so gross. What do you do when it dries.

[Kai]

Face and just peel it off like Elmer's glue on my palm of my hand. Like, true.

[Inya]

Why would you not clean the come off of your face before I literally.

[Kai]

Just said it's good for my skin.

[Drew]

Drew, how'd you get that information?

[Inya]

How often is your face covered in calm when we shoot these videos?

[Kai]

Literally every single time.

[Drew]

Do you, like, have to. Is that your, like, pre show remedy?

[Kai]

No, it's just. It's on all day, every day. Have you ever noticed why I don't go out to parties as much anymore? Because of this exact conversation would be happening. Oh. Because God forbid there's a black light, like.

[Drew]

Guy who can't go to parties because everybody is gonna know he has come all over his face.

[Kai]

And scene. Guys, I wanted to make sure because it's kind of looking very real.

[Drew]

I don't know if anybody would have believed you were just sitting in your sister's house with come all over your.

[Kai]

Face, but this does feel really nice.

[Drew]

All right, well, should we get into media?

[Inya]

Yes.

[Kai]

It's a bunch of Vaseline. I literally am slugging right now.

[Drew]

Well, I watched Beef and it was awesome. I watched every episode in, like seven hours, and it was freaking lit.

[Kai]

And it was so good that she called me. She literally called me and was like, drew, you have to watch this show.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was really good. And what movie did I watch?

[Kai]

I watched the liberals ruined everything.

[Drew]

Oh, the liberals ruined Christmas.

[Kai]

It's this documentary.

[Drew]

Wait, is that real?

[Kai]

No, no, but I kind of talked about it. Or. What else did you watch? Any story?

[Drew]

I was gonna say I watched Saltburn and I didn't.

[Kai]

Damn, you're so different.

[Drew]

I know. That's what I feel like.

[Kai]

Both you and Kai are so different.

[Drew]

I feel really annoying because the only people in my life who didn't like it are, like, straight men who were like me. And that's exactly.

[Inya]

I texted. I texted Drew. I was like. I was so angry. I was like, no, I know.

[Kai]

Like, okay, but imagine if it was two girls that would be with boobs bouncing. Talked about more.

[Drew]

No, literally, that's what the. The girl version of Saltburn is. Handmaiden. And that's a good movie. That movie is lit.

[Kai]

I still haven't seen Sal Bay, and I don't know if I ever will see Salt Bay just because everyone. Oh, is it really?

[Drew]

Yeah, that's where I watched it.

[Inya]

Barry Keegan is the main actor, right? Yeah, he is good as he was.

[Kai]

I saw something that he jumped through. Like, I think he had, like, 20 different foster families or something. This could be misinformation, but like he had like 20 different foster families and then like had just like a really, really rough upbringing.

[Inya]

Is. Is that when he got killing of a sacred deer? Is that. Was that his first big one?

[Kai]

I think that was like his first big role.

[Drew]

I will say everybody in it like their acting was on 10. I just like didn't, I didn't like the ending. Like, I don't know, I. I just was like, okay. Like, there's so many shows and movies that have a take on like the class divide and that's just like not my best take on it. Like, that's not my favorite take on it. It was a good movie, but I was just like, by the end, I was like, okay.

[Inya]

Wasn't the take that like the middle class guy is the bad guy and the rich 1 percenters are like the good ones? Isn't that.

[Drew]

No.

[Inya]

Wasn't it like, middle class people are liars? Like, I walked out of that movie being like, oh, I guess the middle class.

[Drew]

I walked out of that movie being like, oh, bisexual people are evil. That was like the start of bi erasure.

[Kai]

I was like, oh, okay. So he revealed that he lived in 13 different foster homes. Every family was good to him as a kid. You don't know what's happening. You get attached and then boom. Let's move over here. He told Ireland's Elite show he remained with his biological brother the entire time. He lived with various families. He was doing impressions a bunch for prank calls and stuff. Then he landed his first role in 2011 for a crime drama between the canals. And apparently he called the director every single day until. For weeks until he cast him.

[Drew]

But yeah, so that's a crazy come up story.

[Kai]

Yeah. So he did bounce around foster homes, which is like, that's like next level. Like, that's super cool.

[Inya]

He has the most World War II face.

[Kai]

Yeah. For real?

[Drew]

Yeah. No, literally, he looks like he should only be playing in movies set in like 1841.

[Kai]

He would have killed Common Sea. He would have bodied that role. I haven't seen it. I don't think I've seen anything with him ever. Maybe or. No, his face is familiar. I've seen him around in something. Yeah, but what was I gonna say? The movie that I watched, I talked about it briefly. That where I was just like, damn, dude. Like, that's a goddamn movie. Was Poor Things like, Kai, have you seen it yet, dude?

[Inya]

I thought Poor Things was so good.

[Kai]

Was it not like incredible?

[Inya]

Like it was so Good. I, I, I've been feeling so jaded because I'll keep on watching new movies and just be like, no, that was mid. And then I'm just like, oh, I guess I'm the. Because I've said this about, like, the last eight movies. And then I saw that, and I was like, I don't know. I was just really blown away by it. It kind of reminded me of, like, the Pan's Labyrinth era of movies.

[Kai]

Exactly.

[Inya]

There's so much attention to detail.

[Kai]

The story, it was so weird. The set design was, like, incredible. Like, I will say, like, the first 20 minutes of the movie, I was like, like, oh, no. Like, oh, my God. Like, no. Like, please don't do that. Like, this is crazy. And then. And then after, like, the story developed and the plot developed a little bit, I was like, oh, word. This is what this movie is about. Like, holy. And I don't want to spoil anything for anybody who hasn't seen it, because apparently no one's seen it because it's not doing very well in the box office. But, like, please go watch that movie. And, like, maybe I just have, like, man brain syndrome where everybody was like, like, Barbie's so good. Like, because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, maybe that's the same case, but, like, I feel like the subject matter in this and the way it was, like, spoken about was, like, very nuanced and, like, wasn't, like, hitting the. I don't know. Like, it wasn't, like. I don't know. It was just good. Also, like, Emma Stone, boobs and vagina.

[Inya]

I think that's probably why we like it. Honestly, if I'm gonna.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Does she show her boobs of vagina?

[Kai]

Because I need to go see it unironically. I don't know if it's really hers, but, like, there is a bunch of S in that movie. And that's when it was, like, really funny to me at points was like, when S was happening. Like, it wasn't like, like, sex. Like, it was, like, genuinely fun funny, like, times to be doing ass. I don't know. Yeah, it was great. It was great.

[Drew]

Okay, so I need to see it.

[Kai]

Yeah. Then the last thing is Grey's Anatomy. Oh, my God. I love Grey's Anatomy. And I don't know why none of y' all told me that this show was perfectly engineered and made for me, but, like, it's legitimately, like, the best show I've ever seen. To me, like, everything that happens in that show, like, it's horrible. Like, duh. Like, it's not good, but, like, it is so good. Like, I can't. I don't know how to describe it.

[Drew]

Like, I need to start it.

[Kai]

It's like, medical and, like, love and, like, it's all so, like, crosses or should cross your suspension of disbelief, but it doesn't. And, like, a lot of, like, the medical things that happen in it, you're like, like, girl, come on. Like, that did not happen. That person did not have toxic blood, and it just killed, like, 30 hospital staff because they did surgery on them. And then you look it up, and there is a real.

[Drew]

I was gonna say, yeah, there is a case of that happening with that woman who had, like, meth or something in her system.

[Kai]

Yeah. And it, like, yeah, there's just, like, a bunch of medical cases that are really cool, and then there's just, like, a bunch of love stories. And, like, also, like, I can't tell if I'm just, like, like, in love with every one of the cast members because they're all, like, so hot or maybe they're not, and I'm literally just tripping. But, like, some of the acting is, like, really, really, like, amazing.

[Drew]

I'm pretty sure some really good, like, actors walked away from that. Like, yeah, like, some of the main casts are now, like, really good actors.

[Kai]

Huge. Huge. Huge.

[Drew]

Do I look good? Because one of my ends this year or resolutions is active listening. And I'm thinking, like.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, you've been good. You've been good.

[Inya]

I mean, that's a little intense, though. It's a little bit.

[Kai]

Don't do that.

[Drew]

Why?

[Kai]

Don't do that.

[Drew]

I just have a sniffle, but I'm.

[Inya]

Gonna like, Drew, have you looked like.

[Kai]

Wendy Williams when you do that?

[Inya]

Drew, have they introduced mcini yet?

[Kai]

Oh, duh. Like, that's.

[Inya]

Is he one of the originals or.

[Kai]

I thought that he was season two.

[Inya]

Yeah, yeah. I remember when he.

[Kai]

Well, he has. He. I think he was introduced in season one, but he's big season two guy and season three guy, but he's just as fine. It's Jacob Elordi's dad. And euphoria.

[Inya]

Oh, yeah.

[Kai]

I was telling India, but she's not actively listening.

[Drew]

Sorry, guys. By the time you watch this, my Mew Mew post will be up, But I have to post for me right now. So I've been looking down at my phone to see if they approve of me.

[Kai]

Such an insane life. Like, so insane. But, guys, go like my ig. Yeah, go like that right now, guys.

[Drew]

Go like my IG post. Okay, I'm gonna do media so we could get off because I literally have to finger this out. Crazy World by King Ghidorah, Give Me Love by George Harrison, Walking across the Field by Steve Heights and Cure for Pain by Morphine and Drop Top by Anesia. That's my media of the fucking week.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Inya]

Ooh.

[Kai]

Mine is intro Lawrence Guy, Toy Visible Clocks. Actually, instead of reading all these songs off, go listen to Fr? K w y? S Volume 15. This whole album is insane. Like weird, esoteric music. But like Toy Toi Visible Cloaks is like crazy, but it's like a collaborative album between three, like weird ass musicians and they make just so weird, like such good music.

[Drew]

All right, guys.

[Kai]

But okay.

[Inya]

Great job on the episode today, guys.

[Kai]

Peace and love. Good job, Kai. You killed it.

[Inya]

Thanks. Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway, now through June 24. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal, drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies, and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.