Kai (3:11)

Wait, I thought you like you vibes with mini sodas. Like, mini sodas are in. I like them.

Drew (3:16)

That's what I'm saying. Why bring back big soda? Big. Big cola.

Kai (3:21)

Why do you want, like, a bigger thing, though? Is it. I will say I've gotten to the point that, like, if I'm opening any sort of mini can of soda, I'm going in for a second round.

Drew (3:29)

Like, exactly. I opened two of them and I.

Kai (3:33)

Drink one and a half. You said what?

Drew (3:35)

I opened two of them and I drink one and a half, which equals one regular can of soda. And I'm like, girl, I want.

Kai (3:44)

But isn't it so fun to make waste in the sake of it?

Drew (3:46)

It does make me feel like a giant. Like, when I hold it, I'm like, oh, my God, my hands are so big and masculine.

Kai (3:51)

It's like the kind to, like, everyday task Pipeline. Like, everybody was obsessed with the kinder toys. Are those still around?

Drew (3:58)

I think they got banned in America because too many kids, like, choked on the plastic on the inside. But they're in other countries. But I think recently they brought them back. What I really used to get down with were the wonder Eggs with the, like, the powder candy.

Kai (4:10)

Like, yeah.

Drew (4:12)

Oh, my mouth is.

Kai (4:12)

I didn't like the flavor of the powder candy inside, though. That was always a bummer. I just, like, thought it would be like, shakes.

Drew (4:18)

Yeah, it was. It was a treat. And you could shake it like a little ball.

Unknown Male Friend (4:21)

Sorry, guys, if I'm a little bit distant. I just found.

Drew (4:23)

Oh, here he go.

Unknown Male Friend (4:24)

Like, really serious medical news. But anyway, just keep going because, like, I don't want to, like, be a burden or bring you guys down.

Kai (4:32)

Hi. I. You are not a burden. Because I unironically. In the three minutes I was staring at Drew, forgot you were here. So you're not a burden. You're actually like, oh.

Drew (4:43)

It's like, well, that's a good thing. You, like, blend into the background.

Kai (4:46)

Yeah. Like, nobody remembers or knows.

Unknown Male Friend (4:48)

I got a call from my doctor right before the episode started, and he was basically like, you have a really serious condition. It's like precancerous, whatever. And then I Walked in expecting like a bunch of emotional support from you guys. And Drew was just looking at himself and wait.

Drew (5:06)

This also like, this is not a bit like Kai. Genuinely.

Kai (5:10)

I was normal guys. I need it. Like, I know usually you'd be like, what? That's Drew doing that. I thought the haggerty wench Enya Humanzor bitch face would be doing that. No, I was actually really chill and had an odd reply of not knowing what to say.

Drew (5:24)

Well, it was the reason I was recording myself because I was like one. It's precancerous. It's not even cancer to still has.

Unknown Male Friend (5:31)

The word cancer in it.

Kai (5:32)

So I feel like make you feel better.

Drew (5:33)

I said, oh, speaking of bouncing on it, let's get into the fact that.

Kai (5:38)

You were a complete narcissist. And Drew got in here, got into my chair, I came inside and I was like standing over him for a minute. He just kept recording me and recording himself.

Unknown Male Friend (5:49)

We can.

Kai (5:49)

I got a new phone.

Drew (5:50)

I got a new phone in the came is amazing. Oh, you have to talk ever. Y' all ever heard of the iPhone 17 and cosmic orange? Oh, well, I have.

Kai (5:58)

It's adding cosmic to it is like.

Drew (6:01)

I. I literally hate this phone with my whole chest. I think it's the worst phone ever created. But I was forced to get this goddamn phone. And I will explain in a second, but I want to explain myself with Kai. I do. I am genuinely worried. Worried for you. I was. We were like playing bits, but like, I. I'm not like worried.

Unknown Male Friend (6:19)

It's a life altering call. And then I walk in and Drew's like serving to his selfie camera and I feel. We can insert the video.

Drew (6:26)

Yeah, we can insert the video. I think he's finding out he has like pre cancerous polyps on his colon.

Kai (6:40)

What are you saying that and everything? Like, like dead ass. You're crazy. Well, if that's the case, I'll balance.

Unknown Male Friend (6:50)

And to be honest, you do look good.

Drew (6:52)

Thank you. It was the blue light. I was thinking my hair looked too big today, but I don't know.

Unknown Male Friend (6:59)

But anyway, yeah, it's like, okay. Pre cancerous. I feel like maybe a raise would help. They. My doctor said a raise would help.

Drew (7:09)

Raising canes. Yeah, we should go get you the big cup of raising canes.

Kai (7:12)

Yeah, we're going out tonight. You're gonna raise your hands all night. You're gonna raise your arms, raise your hands. You're gonna be raised spir.

Unknown Male Friend (7:20)

Speaking of canes, I made a caniac in your toilet.

Drew (7:23)

Oh, you made a big Slushy.

Kai (7:24)

What does that mean?

Unknown Male Friend (7:25)

It's like the jumbo side.

Kai (7:26)

Because I don't. With canes. Because I. I've only eaten it once and it was in ass, Nevada or Nebraska. And I got food poisoning and I ended up in the hospital.

Drew (7:37)

I heard her blowing that toilet up both orifices, butthole and mouth all night long.

Kai (7:44)

It was so bad. It was literally awful.

Drew (7:47)

It was explosive. She was hospitalized.

Kai (7:49)

I was cr.

Drew (7:51)

Waited in that Nebraska hospital waiting room for like an hour and a half. And it was one of the scariest things. And all I could think about was like, me, like inhaling other people's like diabolical illnesses into my lungs. But I was there for you. And then I went to the basketball game. Should I tell the story about this shitty little.

Kai (8:13)

I really did. And I was just like knocked out in the hotel. Like in and out of consciousness.

Drew (8:17)

I was like, well, I wasn't going to be able to make it. It was a March Madness game. But no, I told you to go.

Kai (8:22)

Because I was like, bitch, I'll be fine. I just have to wake up periodically and eat bananas and crackers and drink water. Like, I'll live.

Drew (8:29)

And I'm the cracker and I'm the banana in question.

Unknown Male Friend (8:32)

I feel kind of free. Like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders.

Kai (8:37)

Because you found out that you have pre cancerous conditions.

Unknown Male Friend (8:40)

Like, it's like, I don't have much time left. I feel like I don't really care about the things I used to.

Kai (8:45)

You should live in the present.

Drew (8:46)

You know, like, fuck it. Like literally, like, do your thing. Like not nothing matters.

Kai (8:50)

Like, you should try heroin tonight.

Drew (8:53)

Oh, I, I actually.

Kai (8:54)

I'll trips it you.

Drew (8:55)

I would shoot.

Unknown Male Friend (8:56)

I've tried heroin before. Oh, I've actually tried it recently. A bunch.

Kai (9:02)

You know, what's up is I genuinely believed you when you said that.

Unknown Male Friend (9:05)

No, I've never done heroin. No, I, I mean now you're like.

Kai (9:08)

See how defensive you're getting. It kind of seems like somebody.

Unknown Male Friend (9:10)

No, I would never do that because it involves needles.

Kai (9:13)

I guess you could believe white people when they say stuff like, know, I.

Unknown Male Friend (9:17)

Don'T even fuck with drugs like that.

Kai (9:18)

Well, it's because you do heroin.

Unknown Male Friend (9:21)

I did. I do pills.

Drew (9:23)

It's different. He smokes, he smokes Oxyopana. 80s. He smokes. 80s and he like melts the like hard green shell off on the outside. I took three of those 240mg straight to the dome.

Kai (9:38)

I literally. I'm not kidding. It's so crazy. I get DMs every day that people think I'm like actively addicted to coke and Ozempic when I am probably the least like dabbled in drugs ever. But I think I'm in the year, which this actually seems like something I should guide my spirit away from. But 27 feels like the year. Finally just doing a bunch of drugs, you know?

Drew (10:00)

Yes, I agree. I'm not even kidding.

Kai (10:03)

Like, it's just time. Like, I gotta rip the band aid off.

Drew (10:05)

Yeah. Like, it's really. It's like that era of our lives, I think.

Kai (10:09)

Yeah, I gotta get it out it.

Drew (10:13)

But what was I saying? Oh, my iPhone. So let's get into it, shall we? It's a fucking doozy. It's a 30 minute story.

Unknown Male Friend (10:23)

It's a late stage capitalism.

Drew (10:25)

Yeah, so I've heard. To a house party on the 30th and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be so fun. Like, I'm waiting out front, waiting for our chauffeur to get us Enya and Rain pop up. We had no idea who or we had no idea each other was going to this party. And then we meet out front and we're like, what the fuck? This is crazy.

Kai (10:47)

Last time you had seen me that night, I was like, I'm not going out.

Drew (10:50)

I know, I know.

Kai (10:51)

And I was actually still kind of fudgeing pissed.

Drew (10:53)

And then we're still waiting, we're like kind of kikiing me. And then you're like, okay, we should leave where you weren't invited. And now we're loitering outside of this person's home. This is kind of weird. But then two more of our friends show up and we're like, clarify we.

Kai (11:08)

Were invited by like our mutual friends. Like, we weren't directly invited, which I think me and Drew really easily overanalyzed because I literally get so freaked out about going to somebody, anybody's, anything, because I'm like, what are. Like, what?

Drew (11:23)

For the first time ever, I DM'd someone asking to go to their party today. And she said yes.

Kai (11:29)

Oh, you just have to be brave sometimes. I literally.

Drew (11:32)

Well, no, the way. The way. I know, I know. I literally. I literally said that in the message. I was like, this is so embarrassing and I can't believe I'm doing this. And I'm so sorry, but like, I've never done this before, but can I go to your party? And she was like, girl, chill the fuck out.

Kai (11:45)

Yeah, literally need to chill because I don't have underwear on. So I'M not kidding. Can you please mark it down and make sure my coochie isn't out?

Unknown Male Friend (11:50)

Okay, who.

Kai (11:54)

That is so funny. I had to literally ask Kai for something last night, and I felt disgusting. I hate asking anybody for anything.

Drew (12:01)

So we are out front of this house. Me, you, rain, and then two more of our friends show up, and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be fun. And, like, I hadn't seen them since Coachella, so I give one of them a hug, and it's, like, very sweet. Oxytocin brewing. Like, it's. It's a vibe. And then I give the second one a hug. Who I know less. And he, without knowing because he was already drunk, knocked my iPhone 15 out of my hand. And it fell, like, perfectly, but it would. Didn't even fall that high. It fell from, like, here, but it. The way it fell, it, like, fell face down. And then there was, like, a chunk of asphalt sticking out of the road, and it just hit my phone perfectly. And the way it fell, I knew immediately. I was like, this phone is broken. So I didn't pick it up. I just left it there for, like, 10 minutes and just, like, kind of walked around and talked to everybody. And then I was like, okay, it's where our friend got here. It's time to go. And I go and pick it up, girl. The whole phone is black except for the top part, and it's just, like, the brightest white you've ever seen. I think you have a video, actually.

Kai (13:07)

Like, Drew went to go show it to me, and without realizing, blinded me.

Drew (13:12)

No, it was. It was dangerous.

Kai (13:13)

It was, like, flashing.

Drew (13:14)

Literally, literally dangerous. So I was like, okay, I'm not gonna let this ruin my night. I'm gonna have fun. I put my phone in my pocket, didn't have a phone for the rest of the night. Do this house party. It was fun. Then we go to the chateau. After we kiki around, I get nauseous because I took mushroom chocolate. Y. Yeah, literally. That's so chopped. Ew. Why did I say that? But took mushroom chocolate. I think it made me nauseous. That's what made me nauseous. I didn't feel the mushrooms, but the mushrooms. I felt nauseous from whatever, but Paloma gave me zofran, which is a rare commodity. You can't get that otc. Can't even get that shit in Mexico. And I want, like, a hundred bottles of that, because if you're nauseous, you just take a zofran, and you're good. It's like, so. I know, I know it is so lit.

Kai (14:03)

But I had one that I had for emergencies because I get really, really car sick super easily. I had it in my jeans and I washed it.

Drew (14:15)

Literally was like, sis, I would have been licking those jeans. I would have been licking them.

Kai (14:18)

I'm gonna suck them.

Drew (14:19)

Like, I would have drank the water.

Kai (14:20)

Hannah Montana booth that gets drunken like that.

Drew (14:24)

Like sucking the water out. But phone breaks. Go to party, have fun. Go to Chateau. Have fun. Go home. And I'm like, girl, this is party. Party. Next party, party bus.

Kai (14:38)

Have fun, have fun, have fun, have fun.

Drew (14:40)

Club bar. And then I get home, I don't even process it. Wake up the next day, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna be brave. It's Halloween, mind you. I'm gonna go to the Apple Store. I'm just gonna get this phone fixed because I love this phone. And I do not subscribe to this level of capitalism. I do not subscribe to plans, planned obsolescence. Like, it's evil. I will have this iPhone 15 for another 20 years or until the folding iPhone comes out, which is next year.

Kai (15:10)

Okay, that's really, like.

Drew (15:14)

But it's real.

Kai (15:15)

Or when they make a flying car, it's like. Or when they do the inevitable update that everybody's done already and we're just.

Drew (15:21)

Next year. It's coming next year, y'. All.

Kai (15:23)

So no way are you going to keep this iPhone for 15 years.

Drew (15:26)

No. Fuck. No. Fuck this goddamn fucking piece of shit, ugly ass fucking piece of shit phone. Ugh.

Kai (15:31)

Do they not sell the old phones anymore? No. Huh?

Drew (15:34)

They do. So I go to the Apple Store and I don't have an appointment, but the guy's like, oh, it should just be like, 10 minutes. Just go sit over there and wait. It's just a crack screen. Like, you'll be good. Go over. Wait almost an entire hour waiting on an Apple Store employee to come over to me to tell me the worst news I've ever heard in my. Which was, oh, like, you just want your screen fixed. Yeah. Oh, well, you can't do that because your Apple Care expired, like, three days ago. And I was like, okay. I was like, okay. Oh, my God. I rolled my eyes. And then I was like, okay, what is it gonna be, like, 150? Like, that's so annoying, but, like, it beats buying a 1500 phone. Like, what? He's like, ooh, actually, it's gonna be 400. And my heart sank. And I was like, that is so much money, first of all. And to fix a screen on a piece of phone that's four years old. Like, girl, get a grip. Challenge. But I was like, what would you do? And of course, the Apple Store employee did the Apple Store employee thing and was like, go buy a phone. And I was like, okay. Well, I went. And I was like, okay, I think I'm just gonna get the air because they didn't have this phone in stock. And I was like, whatever, I'll just get the air. And then I wait in another line for almost two hours waiting to buy a fucking phone at the Apple Store. I waited in line to not even have. I don't know. I don't know.

Kai (17:05)

Did you never question?

Drew (17:06)

And, like, I did. I did. Everybody in line, there was, like, 20 people by the time I was like up front.

Kai (17:12)

Every single person was so many people buying, girl.

Drew (17:15)

I don't know. And it was on Halloween, of all nights, too. I was like. Or all day. Whatever.

Kai (17:19)

Well, it's because everyone in there was like, it's Halloween. Nobody's going to the store today. Yeah.

Drew (17:25)

I'm the smart guy. But I get to the front of the line, there's one other guy in front of me, and, like, we're kind of chopping it up. We're having fun. We're, like, talking. And, like, I was like, oh, this is, like, a really cool guy. Like, he's. He's really nice. Like, he can talk with me. He can hang. He's actually telling me things about this iPhone air that I don't even know. Like, this is so interesting. Like, I've never met an advanced old guy, and he was also fine.

Kai (17:54)

So I think that kind of like you being impressed by an employee, knowing how to.

Drew (17:59)

It wasn't an employee. It was a random dude. It was a random dude in front of me in line.

Unknown Male Friend (18:03)

How suitable was his face?

Drew (18:05)

Like a 2 out of 10. It was not getting suitable. Yeah, I don't know.

Kai (18:10)

I guess I'm the last person to be, like, ill. Wait, what was his vibe like?

Drew (18:14)

Okay, yeah, I don't truly know, but there was something. There was his aura, his energy.

Kai (18:18)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can feel that. I mean, I don't know if I'd be, like, turned on by, like, a random dude mansplaining.

Drew (18:25)

Well, it went away. It went away immediately. Like, it went away so quickly because he's talking to me, and then all of a sudden, he, like, glazes over, and he, like, he just. Like, I could feel his heart beating like. Like, you're doing Kai. I could feel It. And I was like, what is this man, like, on about? And I was like, oh, is he about to, like, try to hook up with me? Is he going to, like, molest me? Like, what is literally happening right now?

Unknown Male Friend (18:48)

Well, wait, does this story end with you getting molested in the Apple Store?

Drew (18:51)

Yes. No, it doesn't. He. He looks at me and he's like, yeah, like, I'm here because my son died in February, and I have three devices of his, and I need to get into these devices because, like, he died. And, like, mind you, I was already having a bad time because I have. I had been there for two and a half hours at this point, and then, like, I'm literally losing my mind, and I just want to buy this. I don't have a phone the whole time. It would be different if I could scroll on a phone, but my phone was so broken, I couldn't.

Kai (19:25)

Oh, I would have been just, like, the little gay monkey and the Apple Store. I would have been.

Drew (19:29)

Well, I didn't want to lose my place in line. It's.

Kai (19:31)

Wait, was it, like, not aligned, like, by the tables? They just had you stranded?

Drew (19:35)

It was in the corner. It was so chopped.

Kai (19:37)

I would have started reading mine.

Drew (19:39)

That's what I was doing. That's literally what I was doing. But this, like, sent me into, like, a schizophrenic episode. It sent me into, like, a scary vibe because all I could think about was my dead brother and, like, what it was like to go through his phone and how it was, like, an invasive thing, but we had to do it to get, like, evidence for, like, the lawsuit and all this. So it was just, like. It really, really, really, like, freaked me out. And, like, dare I say triggered? I was triggered. And he just keeps going on and on about it, and he was like, yeah, like, he drowned. He was 48. He drowned, like, and it's kind of, like, my fault because I sent him to my Florida home and, like, he was walking around the reservoir at this house, and he drowned. And, like, we discovered his body, like, three. And he went into detail. He was like. We discovered his bloated body, like, three days later. Okay, Like, And I was like, oh, my God. And then, thank God, I was saved by the bell by the Apple Store employee. And he, like, came and grabbed him.

Kai (20:35)

Oh, my God.

Drew (20:36)

He just.

Kai (20:37)

Honestly, you deserve a free phone for that. That's literally, like, awful. I'm sorry.

Drew (20:41)

He just needed someone to talk to, so I was letting him talk to me, and I was genuinely, like, upset for him. I was like, dude, that is really fudgeing horrible. Like a sudden death girl. I know better than anyone, like, is really, really fucked up. And, like, I don't know, it just made me sad. But it was freaking me the fuck out because he was, like, doing what I had to do with Sam's phone. But anyways, the story's not over yet, y'. All. I am like, oh, I'm starving. I'm going to go get kava, because kava's fucking delicious. Like, it's like, literally the best food ever. I do think they have, like, literal rats in the chicken. Like, I'm not certain, but I think I know it's frogs. They have frogs in the lettuce. Oh, Kava sponsor me, though. Like, I really get down with y'. All. Shit. I even, even. You just said the frog allegations.

Kai (21:30)

Frog.

Drew (21:31)

There's a whole article.

Unknown Male Friend (21:32)

Did you guys see that? It's like 30% of coffees from Starbuck have just poop in it.

Drew (21:36)

Like, and they're roaches.

Unknown Male Friend (21:38)

Roaches, yeah. There's roaches and then there's just humans.

Drew (21:41)

Some people like that handle out often.

Kai (21:43)

Like, at all. Like, it's.

Drew (21:45)

You do make coffee all the time?

Kai (21:46)

Yeah, like, I. I was only getting coffee out when I didn't have a coffee machine and. Or I was too lazy to use my, like, the mocha pot, like, cafetera thing. But I. Somebody asked me yesterday on set and they were like, what's your coffee shop? Ho.

Drew (22:00)

My kitchen.

Kai (22:01)

My kitchen. What a big ass thing of Cafe Bustello. And, like, you go.

Drew (22:05)

So my friends text, let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill, right? Famous last words. Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit. The Airbnb costs more than my car. And apparently there's a boat now. Literally. When did this turn into Coachella? That's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe, done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. And there's no group chat math to figure it out. Oh, also, my budget's still breathing. No IOUs, no stress. Because the Klarna card isn't just a card. It's how you survive friends. Super chill Plans, dinners, outfits, random trips you didn't plan for covered. Plus no credit impact when you apply. So next time, the plan spiral. Stay in control. Learn more about klarna card@klarna.com debit flex card pay later plans issued by Web Bank. Deposits in your balance account are held at Web Bank Member fdic anywhere Visa is accepted, certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards, physical card only included with a paid Klarna membership plan.

Kai (23:11)

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Kai (26:26)

Period.

Drew (26:27)

Cafe Bustello you Why are you drinking.

Kai (26:29)

Fucking watered down cockroach juice?

Drew (26:31)

No, this is a fun fact though. So if you like handle cockroaches a bunch. No, I'm not even joking. Like if you have like pet. I'm being serious. If you have like pet cockroaches and like you have to feed them to your animals or whatever and you're constantly touching them, you can develop an allergy to cockroaches. And some people who drink Starbucks coffee have an allergic response to the like enzymes in the roach coffee.

Unknown Male Friend (26:58)

You know what's crazy? I'm allergic to cockroaches. I'm not joking because I got an allergy. Like a comprehensive allergy test always.

Kai (27:05)

That's why you're always covered in hives recently is because.

Unknown Male Friend (27:11)

That makes so much anecdotally. I also am allergic to cockroaches, but I'm very clean so it's not really an issue for daddy.

Kai (27:18)

You actually are really clean.

Drew (27:19)

You are a very clean freak.

Unknown Male Friend (27:20)

Thank you.

Drew (27:21)

And also the way you burn the candle I got you reminds me of.

Unknown Male Friend (27:24)

Me because I didn't let it tunnel.

Drew (27:26)

You didn't let it tunnel. And also you just like don't burn it all the time.

Unknown Male Friend (27:29)

I don't. I only do it for special occasions.

Drew (27:31)

Like when I come over. Yeah, when you lay the blue tarp down.

Unknown Male Friend (27:35)

Or like when. Or like when Anya needs to. Like, a place.

Drew (27:38)

Oh. If anyone needs a back rub or something.

Unknown Male Friend (27:40)

I was going to say. Oh. Did you know that in Target where. You know those racks of clothes where it's like a circle?

Drew (27:46)

Yeah.

Unknown Male Friend (27:47)

In 30 of those, there's poop in the middle.

Drew (27:51)

Wait, actually, like, a kid, like, pulled.

Unknown Male Friend (27:53)

Down their pants and adult men.

Drew (27:55)

I do. I in them.

Unknown Male Friend (27:56)

Straight adult men.

Drew (27:57)

Oh, I shit in them. I'm a gay adult man. Oh, my God. I just had that.

Unknown Male Friend (28:03)

That was actually crazy to see you come out. Does it feel.

Drew (28:07)

Guys, I'm gay.

Kai (28:08)

Do you feel free? Do you feel lighter?

Drew (28:10)

I feel heavier.

Unknown Male Friend (28:13)

That's because you have to go to Target and drop some stuff.

Drew (28:15)

Yeah, I gotta drop some dookie in the Target ring, guys.

Kai (28:19)

Everyone go to Target and shit.

Drew (28:21)

No, actually, though, we should all go to Target and Starbucks. Shit everywhere Challenge.

Unknown Male Friend (28:26)

Right after I voted for Zoron, I went to my nearest Target. I took a shit in the middle of the clothes.

Drew (28:32)

Good.

Kai (28:32)

You illegally voted.

Drew (28:33)

You're not, like, a citizen of New York. Citizen of New York.

Unknown Male Friend (28:36)

Fine.

Kai (28:37)

I mean, I guess. Yeah, whatever.

Drew (28:38)

Going Prop 50 pass in L. A. I know. Zoan got elected.

Kai (28:43)

I'm not kidding. I also.

Drew (28:45)

The blue fudgeing wave, y'. All. We're back in a big way.

Kai (28:48)

I know.

Unknown Male Friend (28:49)

I know, like, you guys feel it.

Drew (28:51)

I do.

Kai (28:52)

I'm not. I do.

Unknown Male Friend (28:53)

I do.

Kai (28:53)

Like, I. I have pep.

Drew (28:56)

That's why I put that as a blue, y'.

Kai (28:58)

All.

Unknown Male Friend (28:58)

Did you see the video?

Drew (28:59)

No, y', all, I put that as blue.

Unknown Male Friend (29:02)

Wow.

Kai (29:02)

And I wore red because.

Drew (29:05)

Because you're a Republican.

Kai (29:07)

I can't believe, like, dude, we really are getting to a place where, like, they kind of let anybody pull up. I can't believe anybody has beef with him when Cuomo exists. Like, dude, it's literally like the schizophrenic hieroglyphics coming out of the, like, the mouth of, like, a human who's still alive instead of having to read it in, like, some weird journal?

Drew (29:25)

No, it's. It's really shocking. But big things gonna. Big things coming big.

Unknown Male Friend (29:31)

Did you see the video of them reacting like Zaron and his wife reacting to Dick Cheney?

Kai (29:36)

Yeah.

Unknown Male Friend (29:36)

The news.

Kai (29:41)

When.

Drew (29:43)

When did that happen? Just Starly artist. Yes. Wait, that's me finding out you have free cancer.

Unknown Male Friend (29:52)

That's you looking away for a millisecond from your own.

Drew (29:55)

No, Real as. Real real. Real. Real recognizes real as. And I'm real. And I recognize him.

Unknown Male Friend (30:02)

You are so real.

Drew (30:03)

And I'm real. Yeah, you're real, too. We're real, right?

Unknown Male Friend (30:10)

Are we real?

Kai (30:11)

You can't say it.

Drew (30:14)

We're real. Right? But wait, let me. Let me finish this goddamn story. That's 35 minutes. Can I keep going?

Kai (30:21)

This is crazy, because this is. If anybody out there who's been single for a while ever is like, damn, I. I really miss a partner. What you're missing is the romance and excitement of that endeavor. What you're not missing is hearing about their three day long venture into the Apple economy. Because, like, really, like, I'm. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna say your.

Drew (30:51)

Well, this. This deviates from Apple. This, this. Well, also my phone provider.

Kai (30:56)

Really scary place.

Drew (30:58)

Like, so I'm at Kava eating frogs, and I should say, I. Oh, my God, I'm getting that again. I'm getting mad again. The line at Kava was literally like the longest line I've ever waited in. And I've been to Six Flags. Like, it was literally like another hour of my life to get Cava. I still didn't have a working phone, mind you, because we couldn't transfer it over in the store. So now I have a brand new iPhone Air. That's a piece of fucking shit. Fucking hate that phone. And then a broken iPhone. And I can feel everyone calling me, being like, are you okay? Are you okay? Where are you? It's been four fucking hours. I wasn't okay. I was literally tweaking out. And then I get to the front and I'm like, oh, I want harissa chicken and I want steak in my other bowl, bitch. They were out of both of them, and they were like, oh, they're cutting it right now. Do you want to wait? And I was like, fine, I'll wait. Waited another 15 minutes for steak and harissa chicken. Got my bowls literally, like, had an actual panic attack on the escalator. Yeah, I'm big and greedy. I like the steak and I like the chicken and. What about it?

Kai (32:01)

I know I. With that. I actually do.

Drew (32:03)

Yeah, I was. I was feasting on one, and then I was going out later and I feasted on the other.

Unknown Male Friend (32:07)

But Drew, really quick, you look really handsome today. Like, you have the perfect amount of stubble and you're all tan. Oh, my God, you look great.

Drew (32:16)

Thank you.

Unknown Male Friend (32:17)

I tell you.

Drew (32:17)

Well, your skin looks incredible.

Unknown Male Friend (32:19)

Thank you. Thank you. That's some. Someone said that to me on set the other day.

Drew (32:22)

Yeah, your skin looks great.

Unknown Male Friend (32:23)

Which I can't talk about. I can't talk about it because it's not out yet, but I can't talk about it.

Drew (32:28)

But something major. Something major. Something major.

Unknown Male Friend (32:30)

I can't talk about it. And I honestly.

Kai (32:32)

But it's huge.

Unknown Male Friend (32:32)

I literally don't even want to. But, like, it's pretty big and it's pretty exciting.

Drew (32:35)

It's so sick, though, actually.

Unknown Male Friend (32:37)

It's crazy. And you look really good too, by the way.

Drew (32:41)

Oh, is it because her hair is straight and you don't like her curls?

Unknown Male Friend (32:43)

No, you're Latina curls. No. I didn't even notice that you just said that. Her hair's a little wavy, too. Okay, I shouldn't have said that.

Drew (32:54)

A little wavy.

Unknown Male Friend (32:55)

I fucked up.

Drew (32:57)

A little wavy?

Unknown Male Friend (32:58)

Yeah. I made a mistake.

Drew (33:00)

It's supposed to be straight and you knew that her hair was wavy.

Unknown Male Friend (33:04)

Okay, okay.

Drew (33:04)

I'm sorry, but okay.

Kai (33:07)

So you're eating frogs at kava?

Drew (33:09)

Yeah.

Kai (33:09)

You waited for your frogs.

Drew (33:11)

You got the frogs. And then I'm having a full blown panic attack on the floor.

Kai (33:14)

You waited an extra minute for the frog.

Drew (33:16)

No, literally. The frog meat was so delicious.

Kai (33:18)

I guess frog meat is edible. Like, is that.

Drew (33:20)

It's actually good.

Kai (33:21)

Why is it that big of a deal that there's frogs in the kava?

Drew (33:23)

No one. It's literally bullshit. Like, why is it job articles? It's hijab articles from Big Chipotle. Kava is growing at an alarming rate.

Kai (33:32)

Chipotle is sending out hit men to hit articles.

Unknown Male Friend (33:36)

I just looked it up. It says they put the pussy part of the frog in the cobble.

Drew (33:39)

Okay, good. That's why it tastes so good, right? They put the part of Kai in my ass. I don't know.

Unknown Male Friend (33:46)

I'm like, drew, do you want the house tour later?

Drew (33:49)

Are you gonna take me to the first, second, or third floor?

Unknown Male Friend (33:51)

I. I honestly just want you to come inside.

Drew (33:54)

So is this. This isn't a metaphor, obviously.

Unknown Male Friend (33:57)

No, no. But I want you to. My ass.

Drew (34:02)

So third floor.

Unknown Male Friend (34:03)

Third floor. Anyway, what were you saying? Sorry.

Kai (34:08)

I think that's technically the back door of the house, by the way.

Unknown Male Friend (34:11)

Oh, yeah, that would be the best.

Kai (34:12)

Because she has anti anal propaganda in the song. She says never take it to the back door is.

Unknown Male Friend (34:16)

Oh, yeah, it's anti anal.

Kai (34:18)

Yeah.

Drew (34:19)

Whoa. That's homophobic.

Unknown Male Friend (34:20)

That is homophobic.

Kai (34:21)

No, I like, kind of.

Drew (34:22)

Sabrina says you're over.

Kai (34:25)

She's just letting people know, like, you can't play up in her butt. Like, don't play with Her.

Drew (34:30)

I'm joking. Don't touch my butt. I used to be a. Don't touch my butt.

Kai (34:33)

Playing in someone's butt, like, don't touch my butt. I'd let you play with my butt.

Unknown Male Friend (34:38)

Is she pro side propaganda?

Drew (34:40)

Maybe.

Unknown Male Friend (34:42)

Why is no one talking about that?

Drew (34:44)

It is, it is really crazy.

Kai (34:46)

I don't understand what that is.

Drew (34:47)

It's so crazy how I experienced twink death in front of. Because Kai was talking.

Unknown Male Friend (34:53)

Well, I was queen. I was queening out.

Drew (34:55)

I'm on the escalator having a full blown panic attack because I just spent four hours of my life to get nowhere except for spend a shit ton of money on an iPhone that I can't fucking use. And then I get to the parking.

Kai (35:06)

Garage, like, you have it logged in, you have it connected to the mall, WI fi, Nothing.

Drew (35:11)

Not a fucking thing. Not a thing. I get to the escalator, have a panic attack, get into the parking garage. Literally immediately get lost. I could not remember where I parked my stupid fucking car that I hope explodes into a million pieces. I fucking hate it. So now I'm roaming around this exhaust filled dungeon, inhaling fucking brake dust and like ruining my lungs even further than my vape is. And I can't find my car. And then eventually, and it would have been so easy had I had a phone because I can make my car horn beep from my phone, but I don't have a phone to beat my car horn. So I'm literally just like lollygagging around like trying to find my car. And at this point I'm literally crying and I'm like, this is so beat.

Kai (35:52)

Oh, are you actually crying?

Drew (35:53)

I'm crying. I was crying. I was so. I was so over through that day.

Kai (35:56)

Like, you're just frustrated.

Drew (35:57)

Yeah. I was so mad. I was so mad. Well, I finally find my car. I get in my car and I was like on the way in, I was like, today is going to be awesome. I'm going to like get my phone fixed. It's only going to be an hour of my life. And I'm driving into.

Unknown Male Friend (36:13)

The.

Drew (36:14)

What is the, what is that mall? Century City. I'm driving into Century City.

Kai (36:18)

Westfield. Yeah.

Drew (36:19)

Without having to pay for parking because the parking machine was down. I get to the parking machine, I don't have a ticket because they just let me in without a ticket and they won't let me out. So then I'm stuck there and I'm like, I, I, at that point I was like, I'm not paying for a parking I'm not paying $30 for a lost ticket.

Kai (36:38)

Rick Caruso. You were not getting.

Drew (36:40)

You are not getting. You are not getting my money. You are not getting my money, Rick Caruso. Oh, my God. And I was like. Literally, I, like, started talking to the parking attendant, and I was trying so hard not to be mean, and he just wasn't understanding. And I was. I was never mean, but I was just like, look, I came in here when the gate was up. I didn't get a ticket. I'm not paying this. Let me out. And eventually, after more convincing, and I think he saw my face was wet, he let me out. Then I get home, and I try to set up my phone at the house, and I can't do it. So I just decided to live four days without an iPhone. And those three days in between, I was calling my phone carrier, trying to get them to swap the SIM from my old phone to my new phone. But four years ago, I put blockages on my account, saying if anybody calls trying to switch the sim, do not let them switch the sim. They wouldn't do it. They literally wouldn't do it. Which, like, kudos, power. But eventually I got a hold of someone on Monday that did it for me.

Kai (37:44)

So, guys, if you want to figure this out, just. All you need to know is if you push hard enough, you'll get your way.

Drew (37:50)

Exactly. Exactly. And then on Monday, I had my fully functioning iPhone. Air decided I hated it. And then on Tuesday, I went and got this ugly piece of disgusting ass phone.

Kai (38:01)

You didn't have to get the ugly one. The. The.

Drew (38:04)

Well, no, the orange I love.

Unknown Male Friend (38:06)

Well, then what do you think is ugly? Oh, just the design. Yeah, I know.

Kai (38:09)

The phone itself.

Unknown Male Friend (38:09)

The design is. This is the ugliest thing Apple has made ever, I think, ever.

Drew (38:14)

Ever. But the screen is awesome and the camera's good.

Kai (38:19)

I am, like. I think I am the purest woman there is left.

Drew (38:22)

You are.

Kai (38:23)

I think I. I think I am, like, the last pure soul left.

Drew (38:27)

It's beautiful. And that's my story.

Kai (38:29)

It's haunting. Well, should I talk about how I gave myself a concussion?

Drew (38:35)

Oh, my God, Yes. Yes. I.

Kai (38:39)

On Halloween, went out with my friends. I had the best night ever. I was, like, tagging along with Rain and Paloma and Alex to a party. I. Somebody in. In the last episode, when I mentioned puking from. From drinking, somebody mentioned it was my ssri. And, like, I do know that I shouldn't be mixing the two, but I have upped my dosage, and I do think I was like, yeah, I get, like. I get drunk so fast, and then I have to throw up. Like, I just have to throw up. I got.

Drew (39:12)

You literally had, like, two drinks, and you were blackout drunk. Like, that was crazy.

Kai (39:16)

Yeah, but. No. But this. On Halloween, I. I didn't see you guys. And on Halloween, I. I think I was drinking because I also just have, like. Like, I've talked about this before. I can't say no to anybody. If anybody offers me anything, I will say yes to it. Thankfully, nobody offers me anything crazy. And it's usually just like, do you want to go get a shot? Or, like, I am the person who. If somebody is, like, wanting to get a drink, I will tag along with them at the bar, and then I'll just get something, because then I'm like, oh, I don't want them to be alone.

Drew (39:45)

I just waited in this line, too.

Kai (39:47)

Yeah. Like, it. I might as well. So I ended up getting really drunk and whatever. We go back to Chateau, and, like, we're at Paloma's room, and I was laying down, and I. I immediately was like, I. I have to throw up. I literally have to throw up. I go into the bathroom, puke. It's disgusting. Ew. And then I'm standing there, and I'm like, dude, like, I feel exactly the way I felt last weekend. I don't think I'm gonna be able to get in a car. I have to ask Paloma if I can crash here. And then I saw she had toothpaste. I was like, dude, I, like, need to, like, at least put some of that in my mouth and, like, mouth out. Like, have you ever done that? It's like, hot water and toothpaste. And then I was, like, just swishing my mouth out.

Drew (40:28)

I'll brush my teeth with my finger, too.

Kai (40:30)

Oh, yeah. Oh, I'll get all up in there. But I was. I did that. And then I go to, like, and.

Drew (40:35)

I use Paloma's toothbrush. Oh, my God.

Kai (40:38)

That's so.

Drew (40:39)

You know Paddington.

Kai (40:41)

Yeah.

Drew (40:42)

When he brushes his ear canals with a toothbrush. And he did that with. I did that with my butthole. I scrubbed the sides.

Kai (40:53)

But I went to go sit on the edge of the tub, and I miscalculated Churning butter. I miscalculated how low the edge of the tub was, and I fully missed it. And I fell back into the shower with my full body weight and just, like, knocked into the tile behind me and was in the tub. And I, like, it actually shocked me because I fell so hard. I, like, still have Like a knot. And I definitely should get a CT scan, but I was looking into getting a CT scan and I don't want to go to like a rheumologist or internalist because I don't need some funky ass weirdo to be like, there's actually more to this. Like, no, like I need somebody who's just gonna look at my head.

Drew (41:36)

Yeah. Like, I hate like the sound a hitting head makes on like tile the ground or whatever.

Kai (41:43)

Like, dude, Rain said it was like because everyone was in the living room and she said they. Or like that was like a pure concrete wall. But like, literally it was just like. And they all came in and I was just like, I knew it. I knew you.

Drew (41:58)

I knew you guys.

Kai (42:00)

And I was just like so embarrassed. And they all were trying to get me to go to an ER or an urgent care. And I was like.

Drew (42:10)

Because not only were you drunk, but you hit your head and you were about to go to sleep soon. Yeah. Very dangerous.

Kai (42:16)

Yeah, it was a bad combo. And all of them were like, like, please. And I was like, guys, I swear to God, I feel fine. Like I stayed up for like 20 minutes and I was like, okay, I need to go to bed. Cuz I'm actually just sleepy. And I knocked out. And by the grace of God, I.

Drew (42:29)

Woke up 14 hours later.

Kai (42:30)

No, no, no, See, I didn't wake up 14 hours later. Originally, Originally I woke up the next day around like 8.

Drew (42:39)

Oh.

Kai (42:39)

And like, or like 9 or 10 I woke up. I knew I was out of the Chateau with like Paloma and Rain and alex around like 11 because we went like, I woke up. I think I woke up still drunk. Also, like I fully woke up and I felt still drunk.

Drew (42:57)

Or you just had a concussion and you were dizzy from the concussion.

Kai (42:59)

I'm not kidding. I felt so like, Rain asked me to find this address of this restaurant we go to and I could not find it. And I have eight different Google searches of every time I like tried to muster up the brain like power to look it up. And I would just look it up, get to the first screen and be like. And then just put my phone down. And she kept asking me for like an hour. But whatever we went, we go eat soup. I feel like, okay, question mark. And then what soup? Rain like beef soup. It was like Latin beef soup. There's like a word for it, but I can't think.

Drew (43:36)

Menudo.

Kai (43:37)

Just my nose.

Drew (43:38)

What's menudo?

Kai (43:39)

Manudo. Just tell somebody to go to the store and get all the stuff to make brisket and manudo and we'll rent out a banquet hall and serve it to everybody. My God. Damn.

Drew (43:52)

Wait, what is.

Unknown Male Friend (43:53)

Sorry. Sorry. Yep.

Drew (43:56)

Insert it. No, insert it.

Unknown Male Friend (43:59)

Actually, I look good as, so I will.

Drew (44:04)

Don't insert it.

Kai (44:06)

But. Ew. Yeah. So then I get dropped off at home around, like, dropped off three, and I just feel so. Like.

Drew (44:17)

What?

Kai (44:18)

Like, I literally just felt so out of it. And I was doing my best to stay up, and then I laid down at 5pm.

Drew (44:29)

That'S like. That'll make Kai cry. Laughing every time.

Unknown Male Friend (44:35)

Okay, continue.

Drew (44:35)

Sorry, sorry.

Unknown Male Friend (44:37)

We'll stop.

Kai (44:38)

You guys are, like, in love with each other.

Drew (44:40)

We are. We actually are. It's like. It's real. Like, we literally are.

Unknown Male Friend (44:45)

That last one was so funny. I let out a little bit of piss. Do you guys. You know. You guys know about Ariana Grande, right?

Drew (44:52)

No.

Unknown Male Friend (44:52)

Do you know about Ariana Venti?

Kai (44:59)

Literally.

Drew (45:00)

Wait, you know Frankie?

Unknown Male Friend (45:02)

Frankie Grande? Yeah.

Drew (45:04)

Have you heard of Frankie Venti?

Unknown Male Friend (45:10)

I wrote that down.

Drew (45:12)

There was something else we wrote down that we were laughing at.

Unknown Male Friend (45:15)

That I shaved my whole body for the Addison Raycon.

Drew (45:19)

Yeah.

Unknown Male Friend (45:20)

Well, did you guys. That was a joke.

Kai (45:22)

You seem like the kind of person who shaves your body, like, all the way.

Unknown Male Friend (45:24)

I trim my body hair.

Drew (45:26)

Stop trimming.

Unknown Male Friend (45:27)

But not in a way that's not in a way where it's like, it looks trimmed. It's just like, not super long.

Drew (45:32)

Let it grow out. It'll be sexy for me, I feel.

Unknown Male Friend (45:35)

Like men should be hairless. Honestly, I do believe that. Right? Can you?

Drew (45:43)

I actually think the exact opposite. If I see a man without hair.

Unknown Male Friend (45:46)

I literally am like, yeah, no, me too. Totally.

Drew (45:49)

But I do think girls should be hairless all over, except for eyebrows and hair. So my friends text, let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill, right? Famous last words. Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit. The Airbnb costs more than my car. And apparently there's a boat now. Literally. When did this turn into Coachella? That's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe, done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. And there's no group chat math to figure it out. Oh, also, my budget's still breathing. No IOUs, no stress. Because the Klarna card isn't just a card. It's how you survive the friends super chill plans, dinners, outfits, random trips you didn't plan for covered. Plus no credit impact when you apply. So next time, the plan spiral. Stay in control. Learn more about klarna card@klarna.com debit flex card pay Later Plans issued by Webbank. Deposits in your balance account are held at WebBank. Member FDIC anywhere Visa is accepted. Certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards. Physical card only included with a paid Klarna membership plan.

Sophia Donner (47:01)

This is Sophia Donner from OK Storytime. Are you a creator on TikTok? This is your moment to elevate your content. Get ready for TikTok's Live Fest 2025, the biggest annual celebration spotlighting creators from around the world. Whether you're an aspiring artist singing in your bedroom, a home cook sharing your family recipes, or a gamer chasing victories in real time, there's an audience waiting for you every day. Creators worldwide hit that Go Live button on their screen to share a piece of their life and inspire millions of people. TikTok Live gives every creator a stage to unleash their talent and build their own communities. This year's Live Fest is your chance to show the world what you can do, take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok's annual award ceremony. So whether you're just starting out on TikTok or already growing your community, check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be a part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live Together.

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Ryan Seacrest (48:28)

Visit efultimatebreak.com hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. As winter approaches, make sure you set aside some time for self care now through December 2nd. Get great savings on personal care essentials when you shop in store or online. Buy two participating self care items and save $3. Shop for items like Tresemme Shampoo, Dove Shampoo, Dove Men's Care Body Wash, Dove Body Wash and Axe Shower gel, and save $3 when you buy two or more items. Offer ends December 2nd. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

Drew (49:01)

Mint is still 15amonth for premium Wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should.

Unknown Male Friend (49:08)

One, it's $15 a month.

Drew (49:10)

Two, seriously, it's $15 a month. Three, no big contracts.

Ryan Seacrest (49:15)

Four, I use it.

Drew (49:16)

Five, my mom used to say, are you, are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right?

Unknown Male Friend (49:20)

Okay, give it a try.

Kai (49:21)

@Mintmobile.Com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan. $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

Unknown Male Friend (49:30)

See mint mobile.com Drew, can you tell me what this means?

Unknown Speaker (49:34)

You cannot convince me that there's a top shortage in la.

Drew (49:37)

I keep seeing all these bottoms like.

Unknown Speaker (49:39)

Oh my God, there's a top shortage. There's no tops in this. Okay, got it. But like every time I invite a bottom over to hang out, we're hanging out and doing the thing that one does. And all of a sudden I'm like, it feels like I'm churning butter. And I ask, hey, why does it feel like I'm churning butter? And they're like, haha, oh, I got buttered like a few times earlier today. And I'm like, did you not want to tell me that? And they're like, oh, isn't it hot? No, I don't find it hot at all. I like to know if you're coming over pre glazed and they're all coming.

Unknown Male Friend (50:09)

So what does that mean? Is that so food commentary.

Drew (50:13)

He's saying that these bottoms are coming over already full of cum.

Unknown Male Friend (50:18)

Right?

Drew (50:19)

Because they got loaded up by tops and that's previous. And they're pre glazed. Like whole pre glazed, but pre glazed. And he's, he's insinuating that. How is there a top shortage if every bottom that I bang, it's full of cum. Is full of cum.

Unknown Male Friend (50:36)

Thank you.

Kai (50:37)

Yeah, I mean it might be self insertion maybe it's like you know how women would like.

Drew (50:43)

And you also. You didn't finish your story. But finish this thought.

Unknown Male Friend (50:46)

Oh fuck. My bad. That was misogynistic of me. Continue.

Kai (50:48)

Oh, I'm used to that behavior from.

Unknown Male Friend (50:50)

The both of you.

Drew (50:50)

I am too. From the both of you, actually.

Kai (50:53)

Oh, okay. You had to make it about you.

Drew (50:54)

Yeah, always.

Kai (50:57)

I don't remember where I was.

Unknown Male Friend (50:59)

You hit your head.

Kai (51:00)

Oh yeah. I like woke up the next day. Whatever I ate. Alex was, was so funny, dude, she was cracking me up all day. And then I got home and I knocked out at 5pm after eating a bunch of pretzels.

Drew (51:14)

This is not It. This is literally not an exaggeration. She ate a bag of pretzels and then fell asleep at 5pm? Yeah, like on the dot.

Kai (51:21)

Knocked out at 5pm and I slept until the next day at like 7:45am Like 8am that's really scary.

Drew (51:28)

It's scary. And like I also was.

Kai (51:30)

I don't know at what time my phone and everything was dead and the house was very still. So I thought. I think it was. And it was dark out, but I just really had to pee. So I went and peed and went back to bed.

Drew (51:41)

The thing is, I was just told that you hit your head and I didn't even like have a thought that you could just be like bleeding out up in your room. Like, it didn't cross my mind once.

Kai (51:52)

Yeah, I told. Well, I put on my story and I made it very clear. I put on my close friends and everything. I kind of made it clear that like I. Because I. I do think I had like a minor concussion. Insane. I felt so like out of it.

Drew (52:06)

Awes. So the way like I was interacting with you the morning after you slept for 28 hours, I was like, oh, this bitch is concussed. She's like a little funky.

Unknown Male Friend (52:15)

Oh yeah.

Kai (52:15)

Well, when I woke up that day, I like woke up and I was like, I really need to take a shower because I. This is gross. I didn't shower the, the day before because I literally was like, I was like, I. I couldn't. I could not stand for very long. So then the next morning I went to shower and my dumb ass woke up. And mind you, I hadn't hit my vape in like 48 hours. And I stood up and I hit it. But it gave like the craziest head rush that I like went down to my feet and I was just like.

Drew (52:43)

We should concuss you more. Can someone hit me in the head so I can feel a vape again?

Kai (52:47)

No, I'm not kidding. Like, and it was awesome. And then, but then I got in the shower and I. My hair was so tangled, I had to sit on my stool in the shower for like 20 minutes and try not to pass out.

Drew (53:01)

That is crazy.

Kai (53:03)

And then I went on with my life. And now every day I've been falling asleep at like, like 11:45 and waking.

Drew (53:09)

Up at 6am on such an amazing sleep schedule. And I am so envious of it. I did. Also, I should mention that the day you slept 28 hours, which was Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Saturday and Sunday, I literally slept all day long, like I did the exact same thing. Like, I woke up at like 11 and then I fell back asleep from like 10 to or 2 to 4. And then I woke back up and would fall asleep at like 9pm and sleep all the way till 11 the next night.

Unknown Male Friend (53:40)

Well, that's why you guys look so good. It's because you're getting all this beauty rest.

Drew (53:43)

Exactly. Thank you, Kai. That's why you look good.

Unknown Male Friend (53:48)

I only get seven and a half hours of sleep.

Kai (53:51)

Oh, that should be enough.

Unknown Male Friend (53:53)

Well, not for.

Drew (53:54)

I'm going to list off.

Unknown Male Friend (53:55)

For a man in his 20s, early.

Drew (53:57)

20S, two topics, back to back. Depression, hates a moving target. Interpret that how you will. I heard that. And I was like, oh, wow, that's like, really?

Kai (54:07)

Well, that's why I chase women at night, because then they won't be depressed because they're just like, right. They're on the go. They're so busy. Yeah, they're so busy and distracted from getting away from me. And I usually wear like, big, like, oversized clothes.

Drew (54:23)

So you look like a man.

Kai (54:24)

So I look like a guy.

Drew (54:25)

Wow. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing that.

Kai (54:27)

And. And I wear Doc Martens so that the sound, there's like an ambience of.

Drew (54:32)

Just like, Right, I'm gonna just do it, but scream really loud. You better run. And then the other thing is, I love la. I went to the premiere. I saw the first two episodes. Everyone's already seen the first episode. The second episode is just as good as the first. It pushes the story along in a very real way. And I'm just so happy for all of them.

Kai (54:59)

I know.

Drew (55:00)

I'm like, literally, they fucking did it.

Kai (55:02)

I wish I got to go to the premiere so I could have seen the second episode. Because after I finished the first episode, I was like, okay, next.

Drew (55:09)

Yeah, next. Oh, episodic.

Kai (55:11)

But at least I kind of love having something to look forward to.

Drew (55:13)

No, it's bring back episodic television. Bring it back. Cuz, like, I feel like everyone right now is like, okay, now what? What's next? We just got through summer. Like, I feel like people need something to do and an episodic television show that unites us all is really important. But yeah, premiere was awesome. I chickened out doing the red carpet, but the lady was like, oh, you have regular carpet access. Do you want to do it? And I was like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. No.

Unknown Male Friend (55:42)

My dream is to suck my way onto a red carpet.

Drew (55:45)

I. I didn't do it because I was, like, embarrassed. And I wish I did it because I Would have maybe got to do my letterboxd.

Kai (55:52)

I would have hated that.

Drew (55:54)

I know. I would have just.

Kai (55:54)

I would have freaked out.

Drew (55:55)

Oh, well, that. The thing is, is I thought it was like, if it. If it was like my top four, I would just open the app and read my top four.

Kai (56:02)

But what would your top four off the top of your head be?

Drew (56:04)

Go Mind game, Climax. Come and see is in there sometimes, but not currently. Oh, perfect blue is in there sometimes. But that's two animated movies. So drop perfect Blue. Keep Mind Game. Keep Climax. I really, really liked everything everywhere all at once. Like, I really, I thought that was a very, very special movie. What's my last one? Sorry, I have to cheat.

Unknown Male Friend (56:40)

My top four top.

Kai (56:42)

He's looking at his phone. He can't.

Unknown Male Friend (56:43)

No, I'm not. I'm looking at this picture of Timothy.

Drew (56:46)

Oh my God, the Galaxy Vogue.

Unknown Male Friend (56:49)

It reminds me of your. Remember when you wore those pants?

Drew (56:52)

Oh, yeah.

Unknown Male Friend (56:53)

No.

Drew (56:54)

What? What is going on? I feel like it's like a joke at this point. Like, that's the worst.

Unknown Male Friend (56:58)

This is on purpose, right?

Drew (56:59)

Yeah, I think it's. It' it, right?

Unknown Male Friend (57:01)

I think it's fun.

Drew (57:02)

Oh, here's my top four.

Unknown Male Friend (57:04)

I think it's fun.

Drew (57:05)

Climax. Mind Game, Amalay. And the substance, and that's something I was going to bring up earlier, is in the substance. She hits her head a bunch and I think that's like one of the worst things to watch on a movie and I love it.

Kai (57:18)

The way she hit her head on that tile is unironically how I hit my head.

Drew (57:21)

That's so crazy in. Yeah. That is so insane.

Kai (57:24)

Like I have like. I mean, it's not as bad, but I still can't lay on my head. I've been sleeping on my stomach the past few days because I can't lay on my head and like I can't. Like, if you see me laying. You want some? Yeah, I'll give you some.

Drew (57:41)

Can I has head, please? Can I has bogo? Can I has head Bogo, please?

Kai (57:47)

Yeah. Can I have your Bogo cheese on your head burger?

Drew (57:50)

Can I have your cheesy bogo?

Kai (57:52)

My truffle? My truffle.

Drew (57:55)

Cheesy taco?

Kai (57:57)

My quesadilla?

Drew (57:59)

Yes.

Kai (58:01)

On a hot day you want my.

Drew (58:02)

Quesadilla with or without chicken?

Kai (58:05)

No chicken. No, it's roast beef.

Drew (58:08)

Okay. God damn it, dude.

Kai (58:12)

Wait, what's your top four worst person in the world? Fern Gully, Florida project.

Drew (58:26)

Yeah.

Kai (58:32)

Boys don't cry.

Unknown Male Friend (58:33)

Yeah.

Kai (58:35)

Okay, Kai, those are kind of just movies, actually. Like, I don't know that I would say those are my top four, but those are, like. If I. If you put any of those on right now, I would be sat and I'd watch.

Drew (58:47)

Yeah. Up. That's how I feel about. Have you seen Amelie?

Kai (58:51)

No.

Drew (58:51)

You. That would. That unironically. That movie changed my life. Like, the way she moves in that movie, I'm like, I want to be this person, like, playing little games, but making people's lives better. And people don't know that's literally me. I move behind the scenes, and no one knows how easy I make everybody's life. I'm with you on that. And you are like that. Yeah. Kai, your top four.

Kai (59:18)

You had so much time to think.

Unknown Male Friend (59:19)

It's really hard to think. I'm such a movie head. And I feel like. I don't know, it's like a really nuanced question and nuance.

Kai (59:26)

What are four movies? What is a movie? If I was with you, if we were all chilling in the living room and, like, you had to put on a movie, what movie are you putting on?

Drew (59:34)

One.

Unknown Male Friend (59:36)

If we're all chilling in the.

Drew (59:38)

Not a joke being. Be serious.

Unknown Male Friend (59:39)

I know. I'm trying so hard to be serious.

Drew (59:50)

Don't whimper like that. It's. For me.

Unknown Male Friend (59:52)

I'm just. I'm just thinking, dude, I'm really. I. The. The.

Drew (59:56)

The pressure.

Unknown Male Friend (59:57)

The medical thing really did mess up my focus.

Drew (59:59)

Oh, I'm sorry.

Unknown Male Friend (60:00)

So you need to give me some time.

Drew (60:02)

I'm sorry.

Unknown Male Friend (60:02)

What's the Sean Baker movie? It was shot on an iPhone.

Drew (60:07)

Oh, Tangerine.

Unknown Male Friend (60:08)

Tangerine. Yeah. That's in my top five.

Drew (60:11)

Hello, Tangerine phone.

Unknown Male Friend (60:13)

Mm. I really liked Challengers, and people always freak out when I say that. That's one of my favorite movies. That's because they're like, well, they know it's a good movie, but there's this thing that people really don't want to say. They're afraid of saying that something really contemporary is one of their favorite, favorite movies.

Drew (60:33)

I hate that. Substance is my. One of my favorite movies.

Unknown Male Friend (60:36)

Yeah. And I think it's really brave to embrace contemporary.

Kai (60:40)

Yeah. I'm like, whatever, dude. Worst person in the world. Since I've seen that movie. It is the. To me, my top movie ever. Like, to me, that is the best movie I've ever seen. What's that? And it's. It came out in 2022, I think.

Drew (60:53)

Purple Palace, Pink Pussy palace by Lily Allen.

Kai (60:57)

I love Lily Allen. Lily Allen, to me right now, as I approach 27, is what Fiona Apple was to me when I turned 18, like 19, like that is like, wow.

Drew (61:10)

No, that album is special. And I was told they like statistic is like normally when artists drop albums, it skyrockets to the top and then teeters off slowly. Daily, daily, daily. Like streams are up here and then they go down as the days pass. Lily Allen's started down here and every single day it's gone up in streams. It started like 4 million day one and now it's 8 million streams a day.

Kai (61:37)

That's so awesome. I listened to the.

Drew (61:39)

I love that you can be 40 years old and then just do something and it completely like changes your life. Like, I love that like you can be 30 years old and drop something and it changes your life. I love that you can create something when you're 40 and it changes your life. Like, like it's not over.

Kai (61:54)

I know. There's something so sweet about like all the pockets of like skyrocketing she's had. Also, Haley Williams new album is really good. I love it so much. I've been listening to that a lot. And Eli dropped her album.

Drew (62:11)

Oh my God, Literally such a perfect pop album.

Kai (62:16)

It's so good. I was listening to it today. Are you okay?

Unknown Male Friend (62:21)

Yeah, I'm just trying to think of my other movies. Cuz I have two more that I'm supposed to list.

Drew (62:25)

What's Emily like? Like the little girl with the mom.

Kai (62:32)

Megan.

Unknown Male Friend (62:32)

Janet Planet.

Drew (62:33)

Janet Planet.

Kai (62:35)

Janet Planet is so good. Janet Planet to me is good in a way that I don't know if I would put it in a top four because it's not a movie. When I first saw it, I watched it three times in a week. But then. And. And the soundtrack is so good and it's shot so well and like everyone in it. Oh my God. What's her name? Hillary Swank is. No, that's not Hillary Swank.

Drew (62:56)

The.

Kai (62:56)

The main woman in that movie. I am in love with her. She was also in Dream Dream Scenario. I am in love with you. I'm in love with this woman. I don't know her name, but I'm literally in love with her.

Unknown Male Friend (63:09)

Wherever New Plays by Beverly Glenn Copeland is so good. Where they're on mushrooms. It's so fucking good. But yeah, I do have two other movies. Devil Wears Prada is.

Drew (63:20)

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Male Friend (63:22)

And I feel like they need to make movies like that again.

Drew (63:25)

Oh, so bad they need to make.

Kai (63:26)

Movies like that again.

Drew (63:27)

But they don't need to be making a second one.

Kai (63:29)

And I will stand by that.

Drew (63:29)

They need Nancy Meyers to pop out and pop her fucking pussy all over us. Like she is literally a goat director. I've said that like the last three episodes. Like I genuinely think she should be in the goat director conversations. But because she's a woman and the genre of movies she creates, she doesn't get to be a part of that conversation. But those movies, without fail, every single Nancy Myers film.

Kai (63:51)

I think the only one I've seen is It's Complicated. And that movie was so.

Drew (63:56)

I have left feeling so magical. Every time I watch those movies, I feel the entire spectrum of emotion and I think that is incredible.

Kai (64:05)

Movie magic.

Drew (64:06)

Movie magic, babes.

Unknown Male Friend (64:08)

And then my last one is Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I think that's like a perfectly written goes comedy. You've never seen that?

Kai (64:13)

No.

Unknown Male Friend (64:14)

It's so good.

Drew (64:14)

You know, Wet Hot American Summer might be in my top four that.

Unknown Male Friend (64:17)

I remember the first time I watched that. I like, I don't remember laughing that hard really watching a movie in a while.

Drew (64:24)

Oh, you're saying like you laughed at it?

Unknown Male Friend (64:27)

I laughed at it when I first.

Kai (64:29)

I like remember my parents and my older sister renting it from Blockbuster and I wanted to watch it.

Unknown Male Friend (64:38)

Are you talking about the old one or the newer one?

Kai (64:39)

I think I'm talking about the old.

Drew (64:40)

The old one.

Unknown Male Friend (64:41)

Oh, I'm talking about the newer one. Like the Netflix one.

Drew (64:43)

That one. That one's okay.

Unknown Male Friend (64:44)

I thought it was really good.

Drew (64:45)

Yeah, it's, it's, it's. I just like the old one.

Kai (64:48)

Yeah, I'm thinking of the old one because they would get it on vhs and then I think eventually my parents bought it and it was in the house and there were times where I'd see and I'm like, I'm gonna throw that shit on. But there was something so dangerous about putting a tape on. Like you could really get. Like what? Like putting in a PHS tape. If you, you stopped it and pulled it out, you'd yank everything out. Like, there's literally no way to secretly watch that.

Unknown Male Friend (65:09)

Paul Rudd looked good in the original. He did.

Drew (65:15)

Yeah. No, he looks fine. You guys, I have two more topics I want to talk about. I had the worst week of my life, apparently, because it's all bad. But the bed frame debacle. Guys, I ordered my dream dream bed, which is the chrome kick ikea bed from 1981. That is like my dream bed has been my dream bed for almost a decade now. It is the perfect bed frame. But they only make up to full size beds in It. And I was like, well, I'm not going back to a full size bed. It would not look good in my room. So I just wrote that dream away until my next home. Well, I did some digging on Alibaba, Mr. Alibaba. And I found one and I ordered it two and a half months ago. And I was so excited for this bed. Well, I get it in the mail. Not only was I not warned that it was coming in, they just dropped the biggest wooden crate I've ever seen in my entire life.

Kai (66:16)

Oh my God. He scared the out of me because I've been waking up so early. So like I have my slow mornings. Like I wake up, up I go have a coffee, I like light candles, I walk around, I pick up a bit like chilling and I'm upstairs painting. And then I just hear our scary doorbell. Because we have a doorbell from literally 1923 and it's so scary and it goes off. So I run downstairs and it's a delivery dude. And I open the door and he just shoves a paper in my face, shows me the address of our home on the paper. And he's like, here? And I was like, yeah, that's here. And then he goes, okay and turns around, starts walking down the like, like sidewalk or whatever and is like I'll come here. And then just turned around and I just got scared cuz I thought it was your bed. And I was like, drew, it's your bed. Like I was so scared because he was just going into this truck and I'm a crazy person. And if a stranger comes up to my door and I don't know what it is, I unironically thought he was going to bring a bomb into the house.

Drew (67:10)

AK47.

Kai (67:12)

I thought he was going to bring a knife inside and start shaking me.

Drew (67:15)

Literally nightmare. But literally nightmare about something that like is a nightmare. I had like the most peaceful two days of my life before. And then I was on pace to have another peaceful Monday. I was like, oh my God. Like just another day. I'm like rolling around in bed. It's like the sun is like shining a little bit. It's like a little overcast. It's a beautiful day. And then this bed, oh my God, this bed frame. It is the heaviest thing I've ever touched in my life. It is literally £700. Oh God. But that night I was like, I'm.

Kai (67:54)

Gonna hook up with Kai though.

Drew (67:57)

Oh, you're right.

Kai (67:58)

Yeah. I feel like that's why you were able to make it on your own. Because you handle Kai.

Drew (68:01)

Yeah, because I like, lift him up.

Kai (68:03)

I literally wish.

Unknown Male Friend (68:04)

Well, I don't weigh very much, so.

Kai (68:06)

I Wish you were £700.

Drew (68:07)

Kai is literally so teeny tiny right now, it's crazy.

Kai (68:10)

You know what?

Drew (68:11)

He's red.

Unknown Male Friend (68:12)

I slipped in my bathtub too, but it was kind of like a. Just like a feather following you against. Yeah, exactly. Like, I literally did that a couple times before and then my head, like barely touched it.

Drew (68:23)

Oh, well, that's funny.

Kai (68:24)

I slipped and went nasty falling in the shower and I would pay money to see that.

Unknown Male Friend (68:28)

One time I was naked and I slipped and I fell in the fucking. You know, the thing comes out. It went up 3 inches up my asshole.

Drew (68:37)

You know, I have a. I'm just kidding. I lie. I have a shower douche in my. I'm just kidding. Shower.

Unknown Male Friend (68:42)

You have a shower douche?

Drew (68:43)

Yeah, that.

Kai (68:44)

Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm actually really jealous of that.

Unknown Male Friend (68:46)

It's an actual douche or it's an actual douche dude.

Kai (68:49)

But if I had that, I would be like douching my ass to an extent that would probably give me issues. Because I'm the kind of person that if I find out a new way to like, really get in and clean my body, I. Sometimes I get out of my shower and my legs are burning from scrubbing them.

Drew (69:02)

That's so crazy. But yeah, one time I slipped walking into my bathroom and I kicked the door shut and I was like, fuck, I'm going to land. I'm going to hit the door. And I started falling and then I just went and slipped right under the door because I'm as thin as a piece of paper. And then I just went and like landed on the other side.

Unknown Male Friend (69:23)

Oh, do you remember we were at the airport and the TSA thought I was a Listerine strip?

Drew (69:27)

Oh my God, I hate. That was so annoying.

Unknown Male Friend (69:29)

And then you deadass were like, that's a person. And then the security guard was like, what?

Drew (69:34)

Yeah, they were literally shot.

Unknown Male Friend (69:35)

I was about to pop.

Drew (69:36)

He started pouring water on you.

Unknown Male Friend (69:38)

Yeah.

Drew (69:40)

Which is honestly really crazy that he tried make you disappear.

Kai (69:44)

I wish I could do that to Kai.

Drew (69:45)

About that problematic. What the was I saying? Oh, bed frame. I move it piece by piece to my bedroom. It is literally £700 for you, Paige. And you helped me with the two big ones. Thank you. You saved my life. I would have. I literally would have died. Big ones.

Kai (70:01)

I helped you with the big ones. Cuz I'm so strong.

Drew (70:03)

Yeah, well, I move, I destroy my room. Cuz I'M like, I'm building this bed frame tonight, getting rid of these boxes. Tomorrow I go to build my bed frame. They didn't send me all the pieces. It took two and a half months. And I was like, what the am I supposed to do? My room is in shambles. Like, this is literally the worst thing that could ever happen to me, actually. Well, I give up. I move all the pieces out of my room. I put them up against the window, and I'm like, whatever. It was a waste of money. I gave up. Well. Well, I moved all my. All my furniture back into place. Except I did not put my bed back on the bed frame. I'm a top now. Bed is on the floor. Remember that. Well, I get a notification this morning saying, oh, sorry, we sent you the wrong instructions. You have all the right parts. You're good to build it. And I built my bed, and it is fucking gorgeous. It is so perfect for my room. I'm so excited. Thank you, AliExpress, for putting me on. And you know what? I decided? I'm gonna start a furniture business selling dupes.

Kai (71:14)

You're gonna start a drop shipping company?

Drew (71:15)

Yeah.

Kai (71:17)

Well, I went to my first boxing slash personal training today.

Drew (71:22)

Oh, my God, you did.

Kai (71:23)

I got called strong.

Drew (71:24)

How was it?

Kai (71:25)

It was actually really fun and, like, really easy, and I'm excited.

Unknown Male Friend (71:31)

Practice on me.

Drew (71:33)

You are strong. Wait, did you hear what Kai said?

Kai (71:35)

I know, and I said, I wish.

Drew (71:37)

Where would you want her to hit you?

Unknown Male Friend (71:39)

Also in the face.

Drew (71:40)

We're not talking about what went down between.

Kai (71:44)

We already technically did media because we.

Unknown Male Friend (71:46)

Said, no, he's not talking about that music.

Kai (71:49)

And.

Unknown Male Friend (71:50)

But we. I feel like we were like, should we even talk about this on the podcast? Because it's like, oh, my God.

Drew (71:56)

Maybe we don't talk about it on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, we probably shouldn't. We won't talk.

Unknown Male Friend (71:59)

Maybe we should, though.

Drew (72:01)

Let's not talk about it. We'll talk about it next week.

Kai (72:04)

Yeah, we'll talk about it.

Unknown Male Friend (72:05)

Okay.

Kai (72:05)

We'll talk about it next week. We'll have more clarity on the situation. Yeah, yeah, we already did.

Drew (72:10)

Media. Yeah.

Kai (72:11)

The music in the media. Where is the news?

Drew (72:13)

In the media. Yeah.

Kai (72:15)

Okay. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. I can't wait to get super strong and scare everybody.

Drew (72:22)

And it's gonna be a beautiful thing. It's gonna be a beautiful thing because what women are what?

Kai (72:27)

Strong?

Drew (72:31)

No. Should be hairless.

Unknown Male Friend (72:33)

Hairless. Right, Hairless.

Kai (72:35)

I. Can you shave my armpits, Drew?

Drew (72:38)

Yeah, I actually would love to shave you. I'm not even kidding. Like not even a creepy way.

Kai (72:46)

Oh can you shave my legs?

Drew (72:48)

I actually need my legs but I would have to use a phillips one blade because if I cut you and peeled up layer of your skin I would be it would be the worst thing ever because I don't like hurting women personally. Right.

Unknown Male Friend (72:59)

That makes sense to me.

Kai (73:01)

I just haven't had a stick for I have like all of my razor things replacements but I lost the stick. I don't know where it went and so I just haven't changed because I just have the little heads and I'm like here I go. Okay, thank you guys for watching. Bye.

Drew (73:45)

So my friends text let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill, right? Famous last words. Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit and apparently there's a boat. Now that's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. No IOUs, no stress. Because the Klarna card isn't just a card, it's how you survive. Friends plans plus no credit impact when you apply. Learn more about klarna card@klarna.com debit flex card pay later Plans issued by Web bank deposits in your balance account are held at WebBank, member FDIC anywhere visa is accepted. Certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards. Physical card included with a paid Klarna membership plan.

Kai (74:24)

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line, but first, there the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

Ryan Seacrest (74:52)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. As winter approaches, make sure you set aside some time for self care. Now through December 2nd. Get great savings on personal care essentials when you shop in store or online. Buy two participating self care items and save $3. Shop for items like Tresemme Shampoo, Dove Shampoo, Dove Men's Care Body Wash, Dove Body Wash and Axe Shower gel and save $3 when you buy two or more items. Offer ends December 2nd. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

Sophia Donner (75:23)

This is Sophia Donner from OK Storytime. Are you a creator? This is your moment to elevate your content. Get ready for TikTok's Live Fest 2025, the biggest celebration of creators from around the world. From singing to gaming to dancing, wherever your passions lie, there's an audience waiting for you. Take home real trophies and walk down the red carpet at TikTok, TikTok's annual awards ceremony. Check out LiveFest2025 on TikTok to find out how you can be part of this global celebration. Let's elevate Live together.

Ryan Seacrest (75:51)

Ah, greetings from my bath festive friends. The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money getting 5% cash back when I pay in 4. No fees, no interest. I used it to get this portable spa with jets. Now the bubbles can cling to to my sculpted but pruney body. Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal. Save the offer in the app ends.

Drew (76:15)

1231 see paypal.com promote Terms Points can be redeemed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval. PayPal Inc. And MLS 910457 this is an I Heart podcast.