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- [00:00]
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
- [00:31]
Drew
Want to pull off the season's freshest trends? You just need the right shoes. That's where designer shoe warehouse comes in. Loving wide leg jeans. Pair them with sleek low profile sneakers. Obsessed with the sheer trend. Try it with mesh flats, Feeling boho comfy sandals. Nail the whole free spirited thing. Find on trend shoes from the brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at dsw. Hello, welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Today we have a lot of important topics to educate the audience that we.
- [01:25]
Josiah
Have garnered with Shit's about to Get Real.
- [01:29]
Drew
We're done with the giggly, goofy topics. From now on, we will only be speaking on things that we find will help you progress in your life into your early adulthood that you are starting.
- [01:43]
Josiah
Like periods and sex.
- [01:46]
Drew
But in an educational sense.
- [01:48]
Josiah
Because we're coming of age.
- [01:50]
Drew
Yeah, I, I genuinely do believe we are coming of age. I mean, you are kind of ending of age where you're headed.
- [01:56]
Josiah
I'm just starting.
- [01:59]
Drew
I know you. Okay, we have to like, like cut the 16 thing like year old.
- [02:07]
Josiah
I'll never.
- [02:10]
Drew
All right. Do you have anything you would like to say first before I like talk so much that you don't get a word in?
- [02:17]
Josiah
I was just thinking about our love Devin Lee Carlson's birthday and how we all keyed at that and it was fun, it was nice. It was a movie. And then I don't want to name names, but it was a very full circle moment for me. And I went up to this person and he was on a ton of mushrooms, like in a very crazy way, tripping balls out the ass. And I went up to him and he, when he told me he was on mushrooms, my knee jerk reaction was just go, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. Because of the Andre, what's his name?
- [02:58]
Drew
Eric.
- [02:58]
Josiah
Eric, Andre bit. And I just yelled nightmare, nightmare, nightmare in his face a bunch. And he just like looked at me and he was like, no, not that. Chill the out, bro. And he just like moved on with the conversation and I will literally never, ever forget that moment.
- [03:13]
Drew
Was that full circle because you were in a position where you were like, someone who maybe we shouldn't be hanging out with.
- [03:19]
Josiah
Yes.
- [03:20]
Drew
And you were, like, doing what you would do to us.
- [03:22]
Josiah
Yeah, exactly. It was like a full circle moment. Because when I was, like, 14, 15, I literally looked up to this person and I was like, oh, you're kind of sick. Like, I actually like you.
- [03:32]
Drew
Yeah, I know.
- [03:33]
Josiah
And I was. And. But now I'm like, yeah, I up. But also, they've always just kind of been a to me, so I don't, like, really care because I'm not a hot pretty girl, and they only follow hot, pretty girls, and I'm like, hot. I'm a hot pretty boy.
- [03:50]
Drew
Oh, that's where you categorize yourself.
- [03:52]
Josiah
Yeah.
- [03:52]
Drew
I would say you're somebody who, once you get to know him, you might find him attractive.
- [03:57]
Josiah
You might find him attractive after he makes you laugh a little bit. No. I literally have been looking in the mirror for the last two weeks and thinking I am the most hideous, ugly, diabolical, disgusting dude.
- [04:09]
Drew
It literally.
- [04:09]
Josiah
Okay, it's my fucking hair.
- [04:11]
Drew
It's just your hair. Because that's why I used to change my hair so much, because, like, my hair would get to the point. Especially once you're like. And also my necklaces are really tangled. It's pissing me off. But once you're in the, like, point of bleaching and dyeing your hair a bunch of colors you literally have. The upkeep is so much and so beyond like, anything normal that that you just, like, start feeling, like, weird about the way you look because you're like, this isn't the way I want this to look right now. And then you're. You either have to continue.
- [04:40]
Josiah
I'm shave it. I'm gonna shave it all out.
- [04:42]
Drew
Have you ever shaved your head?
- [04:43]
Josiah
No. Bitching. Giant ass gourd melon head is disgusting and big as fuck. I actually have had the same head size since I was three months old because I had a giant fucking baby head. Like, my. My head was so big, it was 90% of my body weight as a child, like, in the womb. I think all of the nutrients went to my gourd of a melon head. Like, it's up.
- [05:05]
Drew
You were. You. I will say the one baby picture of you that, like, Kai will insert it. I don't know if Kai's seen it, but, like, you aren't. I would have been like, oh. Oh, my God, I can't believe you Gave birth.
- [05:19]
Josiah
Wow. Congrats. No, I looked like one of those babies. I looked like one of those babies with a skin condition. Like, I literally.
- [05:27]
Drew
So me.
- [05:28]
Josiah
I was scaly.
- [05:29]
Drew
I was a scaly baby because my eczema was so bad. I was one of those babies that my mom had to, like, get, like, insane, intense moisturizers and, like, lather me up.
- [05:38]
Josiah
Listen to this.
- [05:39]
Drew
You know what's fucked up is she put so much lotion on me once, she went to go pick me up to feed me, and I fucking slipped and I hit the ceiling and fell on the floor. Oh, like, yeah, like that. Yeah.
- [05:50]
Josiah
When I was there, I picked you up and dropped you down the stairs because you're so much in lotion.
- [05:56]
Drew
You remember? Wait, have we spoken about how I was like, oh, I would get away with pushing you down the stairs? Have I spoken about that?
- [06:02]
Josiah
I don't know.
- [06:03]
Drew
We. Me and Drew were playing around, like, at the front of the house, and he was like.
- [06:06]
Josiah
We were horsing around.
- [06:07]
Drew
He was being annoying and, like, pushing me or, like, doing the thing where he gets in my way and then pushes me with his body. Like, not pushes me, but, like, will stand in my way sometimes and then, like, turn so that I knock back, and I'm like, get the away from me. And I pushed him. And, like, I had this moment at the back of my head where we were so close to stairs, I was like, I could push him down the stairs and fucking kill him.
- [06:26]
Josiah
She let the intrusive thoughts win. She really liked the intrusive thoughts one with that one.
- [06:31]
Drew
But then we were talking, like, I could have fully pushed him down the stairs. And if he died, like, I don't think a single person on this planet, other than the fact that I've said it, would have been like, oh, my God, she did that on purpose. Everybody would have thought, like, oh, my God, they were genuinely playing around, and she died.
- [06:47]
Josiah
Just watch this. I'm going to fall down the stairs purposely die. This clip is gonna go live. The world is gonna know the true evil behind India.
- [06:56]
Drew
But you just admitted that you're going to push yourself down.
- [06:59]
Josiah
Who's telling the truth? Is it in yours? It Me. You have to decide. It's me. But what the. Madeline told me this because. Okay, I don't know if this is weird, and I will probably be labeled as a monster freak for even asking this question, but, like, this isn't the weird part. I am so curious what breast milk tastes like. Like, I want to know what it tastes like.
- [07:21]
Drew
Were you Asking have some of her breasts.
- [07:24]
Josiah
No, no, no, no. I was asking if it was weird if I asked my twin sister.
- [07:29]
Drew
In my opinion, no. If it's like, in a cup. I. I don't find that that weird because in. In my head, I'm like, you're the weirdo. If you sexualize that interaction.
- [07:39]
Josiah
I drank my mom's booby milk.
- [07:41]
Drew
Well, that was because you needed it.
- [07:42]
Josiah
I was 14 and I was, like, really hungry.
- [07:44]
Drew
Well, you needed it because you were from the teat.
- [07:47]
Josiah
That was two years.
- [07:48]
Drew
I don't think that's that weird. I remember one time. Okay, also, y' all are lying because, like, I would lie to my girl, too. Like, I saw this video where someone. This video where this girl was like, it smells like. It tastes like cinnamon. Like, they're all like, oh, my God. It literally tastes like.
- [08:03]
Josiah
It tastes like after drinking Mountain Dew and hot Cheetos. It's electric. Boo.
- [08:08]
Drew
Yeah. I was like, you're lying, bitch. Like, but I would lie to my homegirl, too. Like, if I had some Orion's Milk, I'd be like, oh, my God, it tastes like, wow. But no, I. I don't think it's weird to try it. I'll try some of her breast milk.
- [08:19]
Josiah
No, that's what I was saying, because I wanted to do, like, the. The milk. Try where it behind, like a thing, and it's like breast milk. Nut milk, Pistachio milk.
- [08:29]
Drew
My. My two sister's breast milk. Yeah, try on only knowing that one. Like, like sipping all them. Be like, I don't know. I don't know. And be like, oh, these shoes are.
- [08:39]
Josiah
The worst shoes I've ever worn in my entire life. How did this shoes break one? They. It broke. I. These are brand new sneakers that I got. Tell me why. I wore them once with brand new Uniqlo socks. And. And my feet came out of these shoes stinking. Like, fudgeing bullshit.
- [08:55]
Drew
Like, it was not, you know, like.
- [08:58]
Josiah
It was not me.
- [09:00]
Drew
Because I don't know, if you. If you look at the reviews, it might say, oh, my God. The loop at the back breaks so easily. I hate these shoes. But I don't think you're going to say because, oh, my God, my feet smell like shit.
- [09:09]
Josiah
Brave enough to admit it. No one's brave enough to admit it anymore.
- [09:12]
Drew
My little brother. I said, oh, what did I say? I said something. Oh, we were eating, like, cheese. Like, Honduran cheese. And like, if, you know, you know, like, those cheeses have quite a peculiar smell.
- [09:25]
Josiah
I know you would know you do.
- [09:27]
Drew
Know, but my mom put some on my beans, and, like, sometimes I just, like, can't handle the scent. Also, like, I do think my mom gave me rotten cheese, because I was like, okay, I'm used to the scent of this cheese, but this is, like, kicking my ass right now. Like, I literally, like, I would scoop beans in my mouth and be like, oh, I still smell it in my mouth. But my little brother got some on his beans and was. I was like. I was like, can you handle the feet smell right now, or is it too much for you? And then he was like, why the hell do you know what feet smell like? And all fucking weekend, all he kept saying to me is like, you're so weird. You know what feet smell like, bro? But he just kept saying it to me. And then I was like, you don't know what? I was like, your feet have stunk like shit before because you know what that smells like?
- [10:11]
Josiah
You know, it, like, is crazy is that we've found a way to talk about every disgusting human body, like, thing ever. And that spurred, like, another story that I'm gonna tell because I told it literally two days ago to my dad. But, okay, so in middle school, I had begged him for the Miami. Miami beach or whatever.
- [10:32]
Drew
Oh, the LeBron James.
- [10:33]
Josiah
The Miami Beach LeBron James sneakers. I think I got them. And I wore those every day. I loved those shoes. So that's so, so much. They were my favorite sneakers ever. They were so loud.
- [10:48]
Drew
It's not these ones.
- [10:50]
Josiah
No, no, I know which ones are. Yeah, yeah, it's LeBron. But wore those every single day. And, like, they never smelled bad once until I took them to the water park. I mean, not the water park. Six Flags Over Texas. And there's, like, a water ride there that splashes water all over you if you, like, stand on the bridge. Stood on the bridge. And those. Wore them. I'm not kidding. The next day, there was mold growing out of the side of my fucking sneakers from, like. Because I wore them the rest of the day. And it was devastating to me because those are my favorite shoes ever. And it was fucking diabolical. Yes, those are the ones. Those four. Those are fucking lit. Love them.
- [11:32]
Drew
Have you seen these before? These? So it's like the era where LeBron was on. He was on the Miami team, right? And so he was hella repping, like, Miami. And these are, like, Miami color. Dude, I wanted these ones really bad. What?
- [11:47]
Josiah
South?
- [11:48]
Drew
Did anybody make fun of you? I wanted the Jordan 8 South beaches. Oh, I wanted these so Bad. All the kids with, like, whose parents just had, like, extra toss out.
- [11:58]
Josiah
I've been like, I went back to Texas and played basketball for a little bit, and I'm gonna start playing basketball with Mason here because he's been begging me for, like, months to do it, and I've just been like, no, because I'm embarrassed to do that. Be bad and be bad and be gross and scratch people with my long fingernails with defense. Oh, that was my biggest. The. The. My biggest insecurity was my long fingernails in middle school because when I would, like, play on the basketball court, on the blacktop, or at reset recess, I would accidentally scratch kids. And I remember one kid was like, you need to cut your long, disgusting fingernails. And, like, it stuck with me forever to the point where, like, I would bite. Nails are disgustingly wrong long right now. But I've been trying not to bite them or clip them, but I literally, like, shaved it down too far on this one. And since then, this nail has never grown back the same. Like, they're not twins. They're sisters now. What was I saying?
- [12:51]
Drew
You were talking about your stinky shoes in middle school. Did you get made fun of for it?
- [12:55]
Josiah
Yes, a lot. I got made fun of for. For that and my dandruff, because I couldn't help it. And it was. It was sad. It was up.
- [13:03]
Drew
I have really bad dandruff right now, and I, like, don't know what's happening.
- [13:06]
Josiah
Feet I get from my parents.
- [13:07]
Drew
Dude, when kids would take off their fucking shoes in class. You are done if your shit smelled bad. Like. Like, that was literally a fear of mine. Like, there would be times when I so badly want to take off my shoes or if I was wearing, like, ballet flats, but I knew I couldn't because all the girls who wore ballet flats. You're in Miami. You should not be going to elementary and middle school in ballet flats with no socks on. Like, that stinks. The humidity and heat. Like, we're standing on the blacktop, bitch. Your feet are cooking. It's like a th. Piece of plastic separating your feet and the ground right now. And, dude, people would take their shoes off and be like, ew, whose face smell like. And everybody would look. And literally, like, everyone's eyes would go down to the floor and be like. Like, looking under tables. And then the kids who got it, got it, and it was really sad.
- [13:57]
Josiah
Well, my mama is in the hospital.
- [14:00]
Drew
So you can, like. You can bring things.
- [14:04]
Josiah
It's funny that I can. What? I can bring things. What? Like, to Lower moments.
- [14:10]
Drew
Like, I mean, I'm just saying there's, like, a time and a place to, like, seek sympathy, but, like, it's weird to transition from me talking about stinky. Like, did stinky feet remind you of your grandma?
- [14:20]
Josiah
It's just, you know, like, she's in the hospital, and I don't know if she's truly going to make it.
- [14:27]
Drew
And you're here, though.
- [14:28]
Josiah
Yeah.
- [14:28]
Drew
And you're here because.
- [14:30]
Josiah
I have my people to serve. Like, I do this for you guys.
- [14:34]
Drew
No, I think, like, everybody watching would have been like, oh, you probably should have stayed back. But I think, like, y' all know.
- [14:39]
Josiah
Nothing about me and how this is affecting me. No, she's totally fine. She's, like, totally chilling. She fell and broke her hip, and, like, of course, like, my leg. Like, she literally did. Like, that is some old people. But she's been in the hospital, and we went and visited her in the hospital, and while we were in there. Tell me why. Like, within five minutes of me getting there. I think I'm possessed right now, and I'll get into that in a second. I think this is part of. Tell me why. The power went out in everything in the entire hospital, and it took, like, two minutes for it to get back on the backup generators. And it was so fudgeing scary. And my mama was like, this is it. Like, I'm done. This is it. And we were like, girl, you're not on life support. You're literally so fine. These are just, like, moderating your health, dude.
- [15:27]
Drew
That's all. Like, when you told me that, I was like, I'd be so fucking pissed if I had a family member, like, on life support.
- [15:34]
Josiah
Fourteen people died in that hospital easily. I don't know.
- [15:36]
Drew
I thought you said life for sure. I was like, oh, my God. That's a big no.
- [15:39]
Josiah
I was there. I saw all the bodies.
- [15:42]
Drew
Oh, my God.
- [15:43]
Josiah
But, yes, it was hilarious.
- [15:46]
Drew
How does that connect to you being possessed?
- [15:49]
Josiah
Okay, so you know how we did Light as feather, Stiff is aboard. We'll insert the clips here. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a bird. Okay, so it's not juicy. What'd you do? Did I. And so basically how you're supposed to do it is you're supposed to lift them up, let us let her sip his board, but put them down and say goodbye. Josiah dropped me, and I broke my goddamn shoulder. And the demon that was helping us lift each Other went inside of me and is now living inside of me because I have been having so many nightmares. Like I've been having the most nightmares of my life recently. Especially in Texas. Texas. When I would like nap during the day because nothing else to do, I would have a full blown nightmare. And in the car ride on the way to. I mean, on the way home from. Wait, what the fuck am I saying? On the plane ride on the way home from Texas when I was asleep, I had the worst, most visceral, real nightmare of my parents dying in the car ride home from the airport. Since it's like an hour and a half from Dallas to Granbury and I woke up and was like literally crying because I was like, oh my God, my family's all dead. And I couldn't call them because I did not want to buy WI Fi. It was a big ordeal in my head, but yeah, literally possessed by demons and they're giving me nightmares.
- [17:24]
Drew
Wow. Well, I haven't been having nightmares. I've actually been having good dreams, like very fun dreams.
- [17:30]
Josiah
And I'm not.
- [17:31]
Drew
The only thing I can remember from dreams in the past few days is for some reason in my dream I had to speak Japanese and then I couldn't and I just kept saying sorry in Japanese and then I like moved on. But actually I feel like I had a dream but I don't remember it. That was like, interesting. But so I guess it doesn't matter because I could not fall asleep on the plane ride back here and I was so fudgeing pissed. I was literally the most angry I've been in my whole life. Like, I will never take a late flight from Miami to LA ever again because I was just like out all day and like the sun was like.
- [18:04]
Josiah
Beating my eyes like a light.
- [18:07]
Drew
I literally wish that was me.
- [18:10]
Josiah
I will. I don't know if I should be telling this, so this might get cut from the episode, but I've been saving it from in yet.
- [18:17]
Drew
Yeah.
- [18:18]
Josiah
And everybody in my life. Because I had one of the most insane experiences on a flight of my entire life. Yesterday. It's. It was on Tuesday. Today's Wednesday when we're recording this. And so I get to the airplane, I get on my flight. I'm a little bit early because I have a little hack to get on the plane early. Not telling you bitches that it's all mine. Sitting there. The entire plane around me fills up and I'm like, damn, this is a packed ass flight. Except for the middle seat on my plane. And I'm like, on your row. On my row, yeah. And I'm like, oh, damn. Like, this is kind of lit. Like, I'm going to get a middle seat. And, like, the gates are about to close. About to get this middle seat. And I'm like, damn, I'm the only person with the middle seat next to them. This is fucking lit. And then I see this woman barreling down the aisle. The aisle, like, covered in dirt, like hair in a fucking rat's nest. Like, like running to the sea. Like, it was really. It was jarring to see the way she was running. Like, it was scary. And it was. I'm like, please don't fucking sit next to me. Like, please. And she sits next to me, and immediately I am greeted with the most foul odor I have ever smelt a human deal ever in my life. Like, it was so bad that my eyes were. Were watering. Like, it. It was. It was literally just like. Like, she hasn't showered in, like, 14 days. Like, it was. It was gnarly. And it was so bad that everybody around us, like, had started complaining about her stench to the flight attendants. But we were in the air, and they were like, we can't land the plane. So they. Because she smells. Yeah. And so thankfully, I had a Covid mask in my bag, and I spray it with my perfume and I put it on my face, and I'm not even kidding. I even was like, I don't want to put a mask on because I don't want to make her feel bad. So I sprayed it on my finger and rubbed it in my mustache. It was. So I've done that before.
- [20:11]
Drew
I've been next to someone who smelled so bad that I take on my little roller perfume, and I like, douse myself in it. Like, I literally, like, will go under my jaw and, like, on my nose and everything because I'm like, you smell like.
- [20:23]
Josiah
That was.
- [20:24]
Drew
You smell like the walking dead, right?
- [20:25]
Josiah
That was literally the vibe. Like, it was the most rank odor I have ever smelt in my entire life. And the lady next to me, next to us. She was in the middle seat. The lady next to us in the aisle was not having it. She was not hiding. Like, she was, like, plugging her nose and, like, talking to the people next to her and be like, this is crazy. Like, how is she on this flight? Because, like, it. It was. It was insane. Like, the. Like, her entire clothes just wait. It gets fucking crazy.
- [20:52]
Drew
But I've seen something similar. Ish. One time when I was leaving Miami some, there was a woman who I, like, felt so bad because I was like, she obviously was dealt with weed or some. Here. That was not what she was expecting because she was literally, like, freaking the out.
- [21:09]
Josiah
Yeah.
- [21:09]
Drew
She was like, in the midst of psychosis trying to get on her flight, and I was like, dude, this is the bravest human I've ever seen navigate the airport. Because, like, you can tell she was not there. Like, her clothes were all, like, tattered up and, like, she was literally, like. Had a plastic bag of stuff, and you could tell, like, something happened to her. And she was like, I just need to get the.
- [21:29]
Josiah
She had a plastic bag with her. The flight continues. I'm like, whatever. I'm gonna put my coven mask perfume on and go to sleep. I go to sleep and I wake up and we're like 30 minutes from boarding, and I start getting in my head and I'm like, damn. Like, I feel really fucking bad for this person right now. Like, she was just like, like, like, I've. I've sure. Like, she's, like, super fucking depressed and just hasn't showered in a couple days. And, like, whatever. Like, I feel bad, so I, like, try to right my wrongs with the universe, and I'm just like, I see. Oh, this is the craziest thing about it. She had an iPhone4 with a home button, and she had a charger that plugged, like, the long charger that would.
- [22:05]
Drew
Plug that being the craziest part, not.
- [22:08]
Josiah
Her being borderline Gas powered iPhone. I could not believe it. She's a time traveler. Exactly.
- [22:14]
Drew
Powered iPhone.
- [22:15]
Josiah
It literally felt like she had a.
- [22:17]
Drew
Little red canister, like, open the bottom.
- [22:19]
Josiah
And like, yep, it was fucking crazy. And I'm like, okay. Like, I feel bad and I can. She's like, on Instagram. I don't know how this thing fucking booted Instagram. It's a relic. It's a fossil at this point. But I'm like, oh. Like, you should film.
- [22:33]
Drew
Like, Instagram is like.
- [22:38]
Josiah
But I'm like, oh. Like, I could tell she, like, was trying to look out the windows and shit, because she was, like, being shifty about it.
- [22:44]
Drew
And I was like.
- [22:44]
Josiah
I was like, oh, let me lean forward. I was like, here. Like, I'll lean forward. You can look at this one. She goes behind me and rests her entire body on me. And for, like, the last bit of this fight, I was like, what if it's not her? That stings. No, bitch, it was her. That fucking stink stank like, shit. It was so bad that it stained my shirt, like, with odor. It Was so rank. So I was like, okay. Like, damn. Like, she's been dealt, like, a really rough card. Like, whatever. Like, I hope she makes it. I hope she. Everything's going to be.
- [23:17]
Drew
I hope she makes it to where she's going. And it's not as bad as like, it seems from the outside.
- [23:21]
Josiah
Yeah. And so I look at that video she got. It's the worst fucking video I've ever seen in my entire life. So I'm like, oh, here. I've been on this route a bunch. So I'm like, film right now. You can get like downtown Los Angeles. And it's really pretty. So she like starts filming again, resting on me, whatever. And I'm like, damn. I like, right in my wrongs with the universe. I'm not going to get bad karma. All this judgment was for nothing. So we land at the gate, and I'm like, we're at the gate, right? And I'm like, why are we not deplanning? Like, why is this taking so long? And my head starts spiraling again. And I'm like this. I know it's her. Like, something's up with this girl. Like, something's up. And then they announce on the intercom. They're like, the emergency intercom. Hello. They announced on the intercom. They're like, okay. So like, no one stand up yet. We have a security risk on board. And I'm like, I fucking knew it. I knew it. It was her. It's been her the entire time. Like, I knew it. I fudgeing knew it. And nothing happens. They. They get on the plane, they walk around for like 5 or 10 minutes. Nothing fudgeing happens. And then I'm like, damn. I'm like, I fell back into that judgmental shit. Like, the universe is going to bite my ass. Like, what the fuck? I cannot believe I've done this again. And I'm like, damn, I judged her again. And it really wasn't her. It was probably like a faulty break pad or some we're deplanting together. Tell me why Homeland Security, the cops, all the security guards in the world are there, Grab her and start yelling at her and are like, who are you here to meet? What are you doing? Why are you here? Blah, blah, blah, blah, like, yelling at her. And like, granted, I was with her and I basically aided and abetted this criminal because she was transporting drugs. Because the only reason I know, which is like, fudgeing crazy, that you would transport drugs on a plane in 2020 to just ship it with Fedex like Everybody else, because FedEx is the biggest drug dealer in the world. Look it up. Like, they don't give a fuck about what you ship there. They only cover guy shaking his head.
- [25:14]
Drew
Like, yeah, look at all the fucking.
- [25:16]
Josiah
That's. That is a good omen. I used to think it was a bad omen, but that's a good omen. It's an omen of wealth.
- [25:22]
Drew
So they are sitting on the wealthy trees and not lying right now.
- [25:26]
Josiah
Look at him. Look at that guy, like, swinging around over there. He's on the very tip top.
- [25:29]
Drew
I know. I want to those birds like, what you're gonna like what? Those birds.
- [25:36]
Josiah
What?
- [25:37]
Drew
No, I think I misheard you. Yeah, I didn't say, oh, well, last night.
- [25:42]
Josiah
Thanksgiving is over. Like, tell me why Thanksgiving is over. Like, it happened last Friday. Do you know what I mean?
- [25:52]
Drew
I want to hit you so bad. Well, on my flight, I always pick the aisle seat. I used to be a window seat girl.
- [25:57]
Josiah
I.
- [25:58]
Drew
But then I realized since I have the bladder of like, nobody on this planet and I have to pee every five seconds, I just get aisle now. Which can suck sometimes because I fall asleep on my flights. So when I sit next to some bastard bitch who's like under the age of 20 and has no, like, no sympathy for me and decides to like, not give themselves a UTI and is always like, oh, can I pass? Can I pass? I'm like, I hope you die. Like, but I got my aisle seat. But then when I got to my seat, this woman and her grandma.
- [26:29]
Josiah
Wow. Seriously, you for that wow. I just realized and registered that, like, wow.
- [26:35]
Drew
When I got to my seat, there was like, this grandma and her like, her granddaughter. And the granddaughter was like, easily, like 40 something. And like, the grandma was like, I'm not kidding. It was the Coco grandma. I'm not kidding. The Coco, like, she, like, looked like the Coco. Yeah, she looked like the Coco grandma, like, straight up. But then they had asked me, they were like, oh, like, is it okay if, like, the woman was speaking to me? And because I'm like, affluent and I speak like Spanish and English, I was able to communicate, like, perfectly. She was like, oh, like, do you.
- [27:04]
Josiah
Know what affluent means?
- [27:05]
Drew
Oh, affluent means money. Like, as. As I said it, I, like, understood like, it was like, not like, but because I'm bilingual. Bilingual.
- [27:17]
Josiah
Yo soy bilando con mi. Slice that.
- [27:21]
Drew
Don't bring that back. I can't believe that's finally died down. But she was like, oh, do you mind sitting by the window just in case you like, fall asleep or anything, because, like, my grandma probably is gonna have to use the bathroom a few times during the flight.
- [27:36]
Josiah
And I was like, I realized I've been groping your shoe. This.
- [27:38]
Drew
Like, I don't mind. It felt nice because these, like, don't have any, like. Like, warmth. So your hands are, like, warm.
- [27:45]
Josiah
I'll give you a foot massage. Like, we can take these off.
- [27:51]
Drew
You need to stop.
- [27:52]
Josiah
You don't have warmth. I can warm you up. Let me warm you up.
- [27:55]
Drew
But she was like, oh, can you sit there? Whatever. And at first I was pissed because I was like, well, how about this? I am gonna have to get up a bunch, and I don't want my bladder to be dictated by y' all, but I was like, whatever. You know what? Like, it's literally not a problem. I just took the seat. And I was just annoyed at first because, like. But then I was like, you know what? I never get the window seat anymore. And maybe that will be better for falling asleep. Sleep, like, because I just, like, fall.
- [28:16]
Josiah
That's my vibe.
- [28:17]
Drew
But then I had one of the windows that when you lean it back, it falls into another window. So, like, you. You know, like, when you, like, lean your chair back.
- [28:27]
Josiah
Oh, there's another window.
- [28:28]
Drew
There's another window. So, like, if I leaned back, I just fell into this hole, and it was, like, back. And then if we crashed, my head would have been fudgeing, decapitated.
- [28:36]
Josiah
So I couldn't fall on that anyways. I don't give a fuck.
- [28:39]
Drew
I'm just, like, not tall enough for it to be comfortable. It's like, literally, I'm, like, sleeping like this. Oh, it's, like, not good. Also, the even more space on JetBlue is a fucking scam, because I'd rather be in the smaller seats and have less leg room and then be able to, like, curl up because I'm. I'm actually the worst person to sit by on a plane because I will fall asleep like this. Like, I'll, like, lean my legs up against, and I'll literally sleep like this on the flight, which is actually so annoying that I take the aisle.
- [29:07]
Josiah
I can't do that in my boxers. Like, I sleep in my bed. I just get full naked on the flight.
- [29:13]
Drew
Yeah. I, like, take off my shoes and, like, put out the tray and, like, like, lay them there.
- [29:18]
Josiah
Like, my bare feet out over the back.
- [29:20]
Drew
Yeah. And then whoever's sitting next to me, I'm like, you won't mind? And I'll just, like, knock on them. I actually almost did that to the, like, the lady sitting next to me because I was like, she kept, like, kind of talking to me. I was like. I was like. I feel like she wouldn't mind if I, like, fell asleep on her. Like, she literally wouldn't care, like, because she kept just looking at me and asking. She's not my cousin, bro.
- [29:37]
Josiah
Wait, what is? What, a nephew or niece?
- [29:41]
Drew
I actually don't know. Prima is cousin. I don't have any nieces or nephews, so I don't know. Wait, do I have nieces and nephews? No, I literally don't have any nieces and nephews yet. How about that? Madeline's baby will be my first niece.
- [29:59]
Josiah
India is going to be the mean aunt, and I'm going to be the tween. What is it?
- [30:03]
Drew
Mean aunt? Twink uncle.
- [30:04]
Josiah
Yeah, twink uncle.
- [30:05]
Drew
It's based on that one. Tick tock. So. So thank you, but.
- [30:09]
Josiah
So don't look at my hair.
- [30:12]
Drew
Anyways, it just ended up being the best flight ever because I couldn't fall asleep, which actually was pissing me the fuck off at first. But then also, I wish I heard what the flight. The person on the flight said. I think they said that we were going to go to low altitude to avoid the storms. But in my half sleep, because I fall asleep during takeoff, I slept for like an hour. But in my half sleep, I heard him say, there's a fireworks show, so we're going to have to go to low altitude or something. And then I was like, that's. I misheard that because, like, that makes the. The opposite of sense. But then I woke up and I look out my window and there's the most. I looked it up and we were right next to Missouri, and there was an insane amount of lightning storms happening. And we were over the Gulf. So we were literally. I was just watching, like, the most insane thing I've ever seen with my eyes. And I was trying to record it, but it wasn't working because JetBlue's blue lights and like, it was like, whatever. But I just sat there literally and, like, killed an hour staring out the window. And I was like, I probably look so dumb to the lady next to me because she's like, what is she looking at? It's pitch black out there. But when nobody knew, I literally almost like tapped her and told her to look because I was like, this is like, I have to share this with someone. But I didn't want to interrupt her because she. This was so fucking cute. I tried to get a video of it. But the granddaughter, who was, like, 40 something, started watching the Croods and was. Had subtitles on, and they were sharing headphones, and the grandma was watching the Croods with her on the fucking tv. And, like, so she was just turned over, like, looking at her granddaughter's tv, and I was like, oh, my God, that's so cute. But, yeah, and then at one point, I put my feet up, and then the grandma was like, don't your feet start to hurt after long flights like this? Like, from them just being still? And I was like, yeah, it hurts a lot. And then she was like, I have this. And then she used her cane to, like, poke her bag, and she showed me that she had put her bag there so that her feet were, like, a little lifted so that the blood wouldn't go to her feet. And then when I got in my Uber, I realized Uber is literally so scary, because I got an Uber that. And it was a Model X Tesla, which I'd never been in, but you know how they, like, go super fast. My Uber was trying to show off or something, because in the airport, when I got into the car, he zoomed to 40 in a second. I was like, he's gonna kill me. And he literally shaved three minutes off of the drive because he was driving so crazy.
- [32:25]
Josiah
Do you remember? I. You were in that car, too, that BMW that went, like, 140.
- [32:30]
Drew
Oh, my God, yes.
- [32:31]
Josiah
Yeah, it hit 170 miles per hour scariest.
- [32:36]
Drew
Like, why did I think that picture of.
- [32:38]
Josiah
And it was. The picture I got was 129, which is, like, the fastest I've ever gone in a car.
- [32:44]
Drew
But, yeah, Ubers are so scary. And then I was like, does Uber have anything to stop miners from getting in cars? Because I was like, we were.
- [32:51]
Josiah
We were 14 and 15.
- [32:53]
Drew
Yeah. Getting into random Ubers. And I was like, okay, if anybody at Uber hears this, you could take this idea and implement it. Like, I won't be mad, because, honestly.
- [33:01]
Josiah
I just care about the safety of other ID people because I got ID before. I don't know if it's anymore, but.
- [33:07]
Drew
I think you can get ID when you go and do it, because technically, minors shouldn't be allowed to get into it. But, like, of course there's Uber who are like, bitch, I'm taking this ride. Like, I'm going to, like, get my money. But what I was thinking was for a way to make it so that. Because obviously there are setups where, like, if a parent, like, can't take their kid to school, or something like that. Or pick their kid up. They'll like maybe send an Uber for the kid. What they should do is have like accounts. But this is maybe a liability thing and that's a whole other discussion. But if it's not, you can take my idea. I was thinking, oh my God, why don't they just have accounts that like you can have a parental account so that the kid can like only get in an Uber when it sends like a verification code to the parent and like they get a yes back for the kid to get in the car.
- [33:48]
Josiah
But interesting.
- [33:49]
Drew
I think that would open a lot of liability up. So. Yeah, I mean, take it.
- [33:53]
Josiah
Or you could just put it in like, like a Chucky doll package that like a four year old toddler and like say it's like a toy and just ship it.
- [34:03]
Drew
Yeah. Do the package thing on Uber and just throw your kid in there.
- [34:06]
Josiah
Yeah. Well, I debated whether I was going to talk about this or not because it is actually so humiliating and embarrassing for me that this happened. But the, the show we're here on HBO premiered and if you don't know what the show is, it's. I forget the returning drag queens that are on.
- [34:31]
Drew
It was the third season.
- [34:32]
Josiah
Yes, like, I know.
- [34:33]
Drew
Bob the Drag Queen, Eureka and Shangela.
- [34:36]
Josiah
Yeah, I don't know if they're the hosts every season, but they were the hosts of this episode. And I had watched this is actually so up, but I had watched like the first season with like a hookup before we hooked up in bed. And I was like, oh my God, this is like, this is awful. But anyways, not the show, but this environment that I'm in, this like energy that I'm having right now. But I'm watching this show and Madeline and Steve, or I'm at Madeline and Steven's house and they're like, oh, let's watch it. We're here. Episode we open says Granbury, Texas, which is my hometown. There's no way open the fucking episode. It is fully an entire.
- [35:15]
Drew
I know they showed the square and I was like, I've been there.
- [35:18]
Josiah
It's the entire episode on drag queens going to my hometown. And I remember hearing about this a while ago on like the fourth of July because like it was like, it was a big thing. Like people were being like extremely hateful. And they were like, no, we don't want drag queens in our community. We don't want gay people in our community. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like just being hateful bigots and like threatening them, like threatening Their lives and shit. And, like, I was like, oh, there's no way they air that episode. Or if they do, they're not going to talk about that. Nope. The entire episode was how fudgeing awful Granbury, Texas, is and how terrible my hometown is, and I was so fucking embarrassed. But I was also high on Delta 8 or whatever, which is another story.
- [36:00]
Drew
High on fudgeing deli.
- [36:02]
Josiah
Fucking cybernetic weed. That shit is straight Kim's bro. Like, I don't know.
- [36:06]
Drew
It's cybernetic. And then what's that one word you said at the last episode with the little. Like the little symbols and data chips you're eating? It's called Start with the A or something.
- [36:14]
Josiah
Ammonia.
- [36:15]
Drew
No, no, not ammonia. It's like you airdropped it on the plane to Japan.
- [36:19]
Josiah
Oh, sigils.
- [36:20]
Drew
Yeah. Cybernetics and Sigils in Delta 8. I went to the biggest smoke shop, and it scared the out of me. They had a free Kratom sign. And I've seen Kratom and smoke shops. Drew. I should have taken a picture, but, like, the guy who worked there was, like, kind of like watching me and my friend walk around. I was like, I won't, like, take pictures because I don't want him to feel like we're making fun of him in some way. But it was so huge. It was in what used to be a pay less, but it didn't get smaller. But it didn't get smaller. It was that big. It was the biggest smoke shop ever. And I was like, drew should be here, because this is crazy. They had, like, you know, like, when you buy, like, flour, like, big things of flour, that.
- [36:57]
Josiah
That is crazy. But, yeah, the normalization of Kratom is awful. So dangerous. At Erewhon. I've seen videos of, like, girls, like, going to Erewhana and getting this shot that they don't know what's in it and saying, like, oh, like, this is supposedly, like a. Supposedly a. Like an alternative to drinking. So I'm gonna drink this before I go out, so I don't drink tonight. What they don't realize is they're taking, like, essentially a dose of painkillers before they go out. So just tread carefully with Kratom. It is so evil and diabolical, and it's crazy that it's being normalized. And, like, I don't know.
- [37:39]
Drew
I. I literally, when I went, yeah, I have awful opinions on it too. And when I saw the free Kratoms on, I was like, this is crazy. And then I asked Him. I was like, I was like, I know this is Florida, but like, we're in Miami and we're like, not in like the part of Miami that like, who I assume, like uses Kratom is in. And I was like, oh, like, is this popular here? And he was like, we have people lining up at like 8am to like get their. Like that should be a sign to not sell it, but whatever.
- [38:07]
Josiah
Straight up legal heroin. But anyways, I'll finish my story. Well, we'll talk about that in another episode because we both have crazy opinions on that. But what was I saying about.
- [38:18]
Drew
Okay, so Granberry. Yeah, yeah, sorry.
- [38:21]
Josiah
And no, we're good, but. Or you're good, but we're here on Granbury, Texas, without spoiling too much because you should go watch the episode because it's really fucking good. I guess I was just finished. I just. All I wanted to say is that, like, I'm fucking embarrassed of my hometown and sad and like, honestly, like, with my parents and the fact that I was raised in that hometown the way I was and still came out a normal fucking person with like good values and morals because, like, the people that I grew up around are those people. And I didn't realize it was bad growing up until I grew up and I was like, damn. Like, my hometown is evil and they suck and they are bigots and they are. I mean, it is crazy how like.
- [39:08]
Drew
There I always talk. I actually got to a huge conversation about it with somebody who's like a photography teacher at a art school in Miami. And I was like, it. It is really insane to think that like, already because of where my parents come from, like, I don't live. I never lived in like a political household. Like, that was like, that was never a conversation in my household. Like, politics and stuff was like, just always it. For reasons I would rather not divulge publicly. But like, it was just not. Let's just say it didn't really affect us or them. But because that wasn't a thing. Like, I never heard like super homophobic rhetoric. Of course I heard like the classic, like, random comments that would like, make me and my siblings be like, what do you mean? What do you mean? Yeah, what are you saying? But like, especially now, like, my dad is like, my dad specifically, my mom is just an angel. And like, literally, I don't think there's a hateful bone in her body. And neither for my dad really. But like, I just never heard that kind of crazy ass rhetoric. Damn. Like, I'm sorry you're choking Are you all right?
- [40:11]
Josiah
I got pretty high before this. Oh, my God. Hold on. That's lit. Yeah, I know.
- [40:20]
Drew
That's me, but I just never heard that kind of rhetoric. And it is crazy to think that there are some households that are like, so like, strict and like, hard to like, grow up in if. Especially if you fall under, like, certain, like, identities. And that's just that. That's it. Like, I. I just, like, I always like when I hear. Because now I have plenty of friends who I hear about it and I'm just like. Like, I never realized growing up how lucky I had it in terms of like, my parents were just so willy nilly in a lot of ways.
- [40:51]
Josiah
They were just like, let you do. You figure it out. So lucky. But yeah, that. That's kind of all I wanted to say is just like, it is insane.
- [41:01]
Drew
That, like, Kai, you can cough. He's like, scared to cough. Let it out be true. Did you choke on water?
- [41:08]
Josiah
I don't know.
- [41:09]
Drew
What?
- [41:09]
Josiah
I choked on my penis.
- [41:11]
Drew
Oh, my God.
- [41:12]
Josiah
Oh, yeah, I choked on Drew's penis.
- [41:14]
Drew
It's like. You know how the. The microphone wires are, like, down going over there? Yeah. It's snaking over to you.
- [41:20]
Josiah
Yeah.
- [41:20]
Drew
Dude, I'm trying to find the stupid ass comment you made to me and what I said to you.
- [41:25]
Josiah
But yeah, I. While Enya's finding that comment, I guess it was a really bad idea. For the first time, me trying weed, let alone cybernetic weed in a very long time. I was watching an episode of a show about drag queens that is going to completely on and destroy my hometown where I grew up. But I got high and I had a good time. I had a good.
- [41:50]
Drew
I know. I called you and I was so shocked and I was literally so jealous.
- [41:54]
Josiah
I had like, such a blast. And I was like, damn, maybe I can.
- [41:57]
Drew
Maybe what you need is the cybernetics.
- [41:59]
Josiah
No, that's what I was thinking. I literally had that thought. I was like, like, oh, maybe I need this like that because real weed just might be too potent. It's too strong. Because, like, literally. Never mind. Like, that's another conversation, but just completely. Actually, no, I'm gonna get into it. No, no, no.
- [42:16]
Drew
You said, see how hard I have it? And I was like, wait, why is there gonna be a gay statue of you when. When you Elton John John yourself in 30 years, like, you are gonna be the first gay Granberry Fame, like hall of fame alumni and there's gonna be a big statue of you, like, like, with. And you're hold you're holding a disco ball.
- [42:41]
Josiah
Gosh.
- [42:44]
Drew
Yeah. Did it make you. Did it make you sad?
- [42:48]
Josiah
Not. Yes, sad. Because some of the kids in that show, I was like, damn. Like, I don't know, it was just crazy to just think, be introspective kind of about my hometown and like, look at it on like a more macro level than like, kind of what I. Yeah.
- [43:03]
Drew
Then just like the nostalgia based you.
- [43:05]
Josiah
Have on it because I'm like, damn, this place does suck. Like, I love it and I love going back there, but like, damn. Like, there was just a lot of, like, gnarly that I had to deal with growing up. And like, it's just interesting looking at it from like a lens of. Of someone who. I respect their opinions and like, I don't know, it's just very crazy. But yeah, I got stoned as and it was lit. I loved it. And there was a moment though where I laughed out loud at the show that we were watching We're Here. Because I was literally, this sounds like a We're Here brand deal. But I was like, I laughed out loud at it. And then I got really quiet for 20 minutes and was inside my head spiraling about my laugh and I was like, oh my God, like, that was too loud. That was a weird laugh. Like, I can't believe I laughed like that. Was that too loud? Did I even laugh? Like, what's going on? And then I would just like spiral out of control and then ended up thinking about like, killing myself or some shit. Like, and that I need to off myself. But that's what weed does to me. That's why I can't do it. Is it, like, really makes me smile in a bad way.
- [44:12]
Drew
Turned it around while you were doing that? I was in my old. I was in my, like, 30s era where my mom was like, we should have wine. And I was like, okay. And then I would get a bottle of wine with her and like, sit at the table with a cup of wine and like, talking to my mom and like my friends. And I was like, damn, this is like, this really is what being in your mid-20s is like. Well, but it was lit.
- [44:36]
Josiah
Did we ever talk about the Loewe party?
- [44:39]
Drew
No.
- [44:41]
Josiah
So Inya got invited to this Loewe party. And I'll. I'll let you, like, preface it.
- [44:48]
Drew
So I got invited and I really wanted to go, but, like, originally I was gonna go with Orion, but she I up the dates and she was like on the other side of town and I just, I like, I get really anxious about those kind of things because, like, especially going alone, like, I don't want to go to. I don't think anybody wants to go to a party alone. Let alone a party where I'm like, oh. Like, I don't know if anybody I know is going to be there. And it's kind of like an event thing, whatever. So, like, I. But I was like, I'm going to go because, like, I want to be in these kind of rooms and I need to just put myself in the room and whatever, so own the space and I, like, I belong. I asked Josiah and Drew to drop me off and, like, they're in their PJs, like, about to have, like a chill ass, like, sit down night. And I was like, can y' all drop me off and whatever. And then like, maybe I'll be in for 15 minutes and just like kind of linger around if you're down and like, I'll get out and like, come back out. But then we got there and I was texting Orion about her getting there, and she was like, dude, I'm still at this dinner or whatever. And then I was like, oh, it's so far from where she is. I don't even know if it's worth it for her to come here because I don't want to be here that long. So then I was like, freaking out because I was like, dude, I need to go inside. But then I texted a few friends and they were like, they're gonna go. So I was like, oh, maybe they're there already. Maybe I just go in. Like, I was just freaking the out about, like, going inside because being alone.
- [45:59]
Josiah
It just wasn't the vibe that night either.
- [46:01]
Drew
Yeah, I was just, like, scared. I think no matter what vibe I was in, I don't want to go into somewhere alone because I get really scared and, like nervous and uncomfortable, like in my head about, like, me being there. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm the loser who he's whatever. Even though no one gives a. But basically I had, like, texted somebody and I was like, is there a chance, like, I could bring one of my friends who's in the car with me in? Because, like, I can't go in. And like, Drew and Josiah were like, I'm not going in.
- [46:23]
Josiah
Like, I'm literally just like in a self destruct mode. So I was like, I'll go in, but I'm in my PJs, but I'm.
- [46:29]
Drew
Tepla, like striped PJs with his combed a Down hat.
- [46:33]
Josiah
It was sick. It was the hardest outfit of 2022.
- [46:36]
Drew
And his, like, orange and blue, like, splatter paint.
- [46:40]
Josiah
I think I, like, subconsciously threw together those last bits just in case I was gonna go in so I could.
- [46:47]
Drew
Yeah. And then he, like, went in, and literally, like, so it was like, Josiah.
- [46:53]
Josiah
And I was thinking he was listening to me.
- [46:55]
Drew
Well, because you. You went.
- [46:57]
Josiah
I was just making sure you heard that.
- [46:59]
Drew
Oh, yeah. No. And I just didn't want to comment on it because I was gonna let it go. Like, I understand. Understood what you said, but whatever we, like, end up, it ends up being that both of them could go in. So, like. And my, like, my girl who was, like, getting me in was like, oh, like, just. There's valet, so just bring your car up and, like, y' all can go in. So we valet the car and hop out. Me in, like, this cute fit. Like, obviously, like, I dressed up to go to this party. And then, like, Josiah in his sweats, socks, and, like, this juicy couture crop top I gave him because he didn't.
- [47:33]
Josiah
Want to wear them. One.
- [47:34]
Drew
Yeah. He didn't want to wear his other shirt, so he wore that and a sweater wrapped around him like brick fit.
- [47:40]
Josiah
Like.
- [47:40]
Drew
Like, he was just like, oh, I don't want to be in my PJs. I wanted to be a crazy fit. So I gave him basically what I had in my trunk. And then he had his hair up and his glasses on and drew on my other side in his crazy ass outfit. And my, like, the girl getting me in was literally like, this is awesome. Like, she was like, this is so funny. She was like, oh, yeah. Y' all, like, dress the part. Like, go in.
- [48:00]
Josiah
Yeah, but we pull. We go inside. And it's not a small event. It's like, it was like a party ever is there. And, like, it's a party. It's like, a cool thing. And then I'm walking around in a combe day down beanie all the way to my eyebrows. Literal pajamas. But I felt cool.
- [48:21]
Drew
Yeah, it was awesome. We, like, stood in there for, like, literally 30 minutes, talked to a few friends, and then, like, we were like, all right, we need to leave, because it literally was a party.
- [48:30]
Josiah
Friends were famous people, by the way. I just need to say that they were famous people that we were friends with, because, like, we know famous people.
- [48:41]
Drew
Like, it's just. You might as well, like, name drop. But no, name dropping is, like, makes.
- [48:44]
Josiah
You a loser dojo cat.
- [48:48]
Drew
We should just start claiming that we're, like, really close to her, Carly. That's all we do is lie about. Oh, Timothy was there. Oh, my God. We should have mentioned how good he was in Bones and all. We did even. I'll just text him after this, honestly.
- [49:02]
Josiah
Yeah, text him. I'm going to FaceTime him in a bit, probably. I haven't talked to him in a while.
- [49:05]
Drew
Yeah, I'll just hop on with you. But, yeah, Drew pulled the worst fits. We'll throw it. Actually, it was, like, the best fit, but it was just awesome because, like, he looked. He looked like he accidentally, like, had too much melatonin and was like, I'm going to take a nap before the party. I'm, like, exhausted. Gave himself melatonin, woke up as the party star, was like, dude, fuck, I need to just, like, get there. And then went. Because, like, your eyes were a little droopy. But, like, that was a part of the look.
- [49:30]
Josiah
Yep.
- [49:31]
Drew
And that's it. I think that's it.
- [49:33]
Josiah
That was the Loewe event fiasco. I did get laid that night.
- [49:42]
Drew
No, he didn't. He did not. He went home and went to sleep. And then, you know what's so stupid.
- [49:48]
Josiah
Crazy is I wore the pajamas to the party. Smoked, cigarette filled, disgusting, ass, sweaty event. Came home, went to bed in them. Because I'm not washing that. I wanted to wear my pajamas. I was ready for bed. We were only there for, like, 20 minutes.
- [50:00]
Drew
Oh, what the fuck was I gonna say based on that? Oh, and because that we were like, oh, my God, wait, we should go out tomorrow. Like, we should re. Enter our, like, going out and having fun era. And then the next night, when it came to it, there was, like, a party we were gonna go to, and all of us are like, hell, no. Like, I am not doing that. We've been in our, like, stay home and play Fortnite and, like, talk to nobody and do nothing and, like, like, right away.
- [50:22]
Josiah
Well, one time at a random hookup, they had pasta on the stove. While we were hooking up, it started smoking so much that I thought we were going to die of smoke inhalation. Still saw it through, though. That's what I wrote down.
- [50:37]
Drew
What did y' all just, like, like, water it down and keep it pushing?
- [50:40]
Josiah
No, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. I just remember the pasta setting on fire. I don't know why there was.
- [50:47]
Drew
Well, my dad, if, you know. You know, like. Like, when you make big pots of, like, soup or, like, beef soup or chicken soup, like, what? A lot. At least My family did. I'm assuming this is what Latin families will do. Yeah, you just leave it on the stove, and then you, like, heat it up every day so that it doesn't rot. Which I don't know what the theory to that is, but whatever. But my dad, like, three times in one year came home from being out and, like, drinking with his friends and would come home and then be like. Like, I didn't heat up the soup today, and, like, go to heat up the soup. And me and my siblings would wake up in the living room with the house full of smoke and be like, what the are? He's like, the soup. And, like, would have to go and, like, throw the pot outside and water it down. And then we'd have to stay up for an hour with the windows open, waiting till it, like, got out so that we didn't die of smoke. And he did that, like, three times in a year. And then he stopped, obviously thinking in his drunken stupor that he was gonna, like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna save myself, like, $30 worth of soup right now.
- [51:48]
Josiah
You know what? Actually, this is crazy. This is completely different from what you were talking about. But it kind of goes with the whole, like, my hometown learning different growing up, and, like, hearing different things and being surrounded by different things instead of sex ed, which is what I thought it was called. But I was reminded recently that we had a class called abstinence in public school. So they didn't teach us sexual education. They taught us not to have sex. Is that what abstinence is? Yeah, like, abstaining from sex. That's what we were taught in school.
- [52:22]
Drew
We were taught sex ed. And I remember, literally in fifth grade when we were all sat, like, in different rooms, like, the boys in one room and the girls in one room to watch our separate videos. And, like, I remember because it was, like a illustration. And that was in the era where everybody was smoking Smarties and, like, a bunch of us weren't paying attention, and we're, like, smoking Smarties. And then in ninth grade, they, like, did we had a whole sex ed class. Like, we, like, yeah, our school fully had a class dedicated to sex education. Like, it was, like, our last period, my last period. I remember when they did the condom thing with the banana, and we were like, you're playing with a banana right now. You're so weird.
- [52:57]
Josiah
We didn't have that. And I thought we had that. But what I do remember is we did watch those videos in fifth grade. Like, boys and one girls and the other and I remember at the end of it, we were all given, like, a little goodie bag of, like, hygiene products because it was like 30 of us watching the video. And in the bag, there was, like, a mini version of this deodorant that to this day, I think it's the best smelling deodorant I've ever smelt. And it was. What's the red brand offspice? Old Spice. It was like, oh, I Spice. Old Spice. Yeah, I Spice. It's the munch flavor, but the punch flavor. Yeah. Because you eat deodorant. That's how you, like, keep your armpits clean.
- [53:44]
Drew
No. Did you put it on?
- [53:46]
Josiah
Yeah, you put it on. What are you talking about right now? You're crazy. Would I rub it on my skin and give me kitten burns? No, you eat it and then it just comes.
- [53:54]
Drew
Okay. Old Spice literally gives everybody.
- [53:56]
Josiah
Yeah. Why is that a thing that everybody has. Has had happened in their life, and they're still a profiting brand that's on the shelves?
- [54:02]
Drew
Men are so useless. Because somebody I used to see got mad chemical burns from their deodorant. And I was like. And he was just like, I don't know. Like, I guess that's just the way it is. And I was like, that's not the way it is. You stop using it and you switch over. And I had to manually throw away his deodorant and go to the store with him to get him new deodorant and be like, this won't burn you.
- [54:24]
Josiah
I had that happen in, like, middle school where I got the Ken Burns and I never used it again. But that deodorant is the greatest smelling deodorant I've ever smelt in my life. And sometimes I'll get a whiff of it in public, and I haven't been able to find it. And I'll get a whiff of someone wearing it in public. And I'm not gonna go up to a random dude and be like, what deodorant are you wearing right now? Because I remember when I was in fifth grade, and I love it. I can't do that. And I just can never find it. And it was like, the original formula.
- [54:49]
Drew
We should go to CVS and, like, open all of them and, like, give them whiffs.
- [54:54]
Josiah
Word. I've done that before, and I just cannot find.
- [54:56]
Drew
We haven't hung out in a CVS together in too long. I was trying to get all friends in Miami to hang out in a cvs. We were, like, doing the thing that's, like, very Miami of us, where we had nowhere to go, and we were just, like, standing in different parking lots until we decided. Until I finally convinced everybody to go to Flanagan at 1am and those chicken wings, like, dude, they. My stomach was genuinely, like, contorting. Like, it was, like, jumping. And I've never had that happen. And I actually was like, dude, I wanted this so bad. And now it's. I'm gonna have food poisoning and, like, stomach ulcers from it, but I think I am in the clear. But I was like. When everybody was walking to their cars, we were like, that's it. Like, the hang is over. Meanwhile, it's like 1:40am And I was like, the hang is over. Like, should we go to cvs? And everybody was like, no, we're going home. And I was like, all right, sorry. Let's go.
- [55:45]
Josiah
They just don't hang.
- [55:47]
Drew
Yeah, they don't understand. They don't understand the CVS sleigh. This CV sleigh.
- [55:52]
Josiah
The yodeling kid and backpack kid. Kid actually dated. Did you know that little thing?
- [56:00]
Drew
I think they have a weird age gap. So, like, what's up with that?
- [56:03]
Josiah
That's what I'm saying. That's what I've been saying this entire time.
- [56:11]
Drew
Who would.
- [56:12]
Josiah
Yodeling kid.
- [56:13]
Drew
Who would Greta Thunberg date in the, like, in that sphere? Like, who would be, like, her girl, little Nas X? No. No, I can't see that. I feel like she has to date a girl.
- [56:27]
Josiah
Why?
- [56:27]
Drew
I just. That's her vibe for me. Like.
- [56:31]
Josiah
I'd say the girl that was on Ellen DeGeneres with her and her little sister, and now she's, like, a drill rapper.
- [56:41]
Drew
Okay.
- [56:41]
Josiah
Opposites attract.
- [56:42]
Drew
Yeah. Either that or, you know, who would be the Grace Vanderwaal girl? Do you know what I'm saying?
- [56:47]
Josiah
I love Grace.
- [56:48]
Drew
She. She's gorgeous also. But, like, they, like, I need to see them go on a date.
- [56:53]
Josiah
Larson being obsessed with Grace Anderwall.
- [56:55]
Drew
Wait, is that who I'm thinking? Okay, but they would have to, like, go on a date when, like, Grace, like, first did her first audition. Like, her and Greta, like, at 14 or, like, I don't know how old she is here, but if it worked out, otp.
- [57:09]
Josiah
Ship, ship, ship.
- [57:11]
Drew
Oh, she was so cute.
- [57:13]
Josiah
What was the song? A.
- [57:15]
Drew
Wait, why did she. Why did she a. Yeah, okay, like, get to singing. This is Christian.
- [57:28]
Josiah
Yes. No, she 12 years old. That's her own song, too, now. I don't know my name.
- [57:40]
Drew
Oh, it is.
- [57:41]
Josiah
Yeah. I don't Play by the rules of the game. Come on. Chills of the games.
- [57:56]
Drew
I didn't. Oh, no. I have goosebumps. An original song at the age of 12.
- [58:02]
Josiah
A good song.
- [58:04]
Drew
Wow. Okay. This episode is dedicated to Grace.
- [58:07]
Josiah
Yeah. We love you, girl.
- [58:08]
Drew
This is Grace's episode. Wow.
- [58:10]
Josiah
Yeah.
- [58:11]
Drew
Wow. I feel like she has a tapestry in her room right now.
- [58:14]
Josiah
Oh, she definitely does.
- [58:15]
Drew
Yeah.
- [58:16]
Josiah
I bet she bleached her eyebrows by now too.
- [58:18]
Drew
She would eat with bleached eyebrows. No, she's definitely past her tapestry. At the rate she was moving, she already had her tapestry in that. Like, in that video.
- [58:27]
Josiah
Right. There was something that I wanted to. Right, right, right.
- [58:32]
Drew
Somebody. I saw somebody comment. It was like, dude, I didn't get half the references. They were like, talking. Talking about this last episode.
- [58:38]
Josiah
Right, right, right.
- [58:40]
Drew
If you don't know that one, like, come on.
- [58:42]
Josiah
Well, let's talk about China regulating their Tick Tock to their youth and promoting only 30 minutes a day on their app. Maybe it's an hour. I don't know. And on top of that, they promote learning Tick Tocks to everybody. But in America, they don't have a time limit to our children. And you can watch whatever the. I can watch a person die and then three seconds later, watch a cute animal video.
- [59:08]
Drew
Well, I'm not on Tick Tock anymore, so explain that. But you know what? Like, what's better? Me spending, like, four hours on Tick Tock or me becoming hyper obsessed with.
- [59:19]
Josiah
My plane crash and also buying.
- [59:23]
Drew
Yeah.
- [59:23]
Josiah
At an alarming rate?
- [59:24]
Drew
Right, right. Because there's only.
- [59:28]
Josiah
How much you get those carrots for?
- [59:31]
Drew
I would pay 99 cents for them.
- [59:33]
Josiah
Is that like, on a good day or just like a. Whatever price?
- [59:36]
Drew
That's. That's a good price.
- [59:38]
Josiah
30 cents.
- [59:39]
Drew
33 cents.
- [59:40]
Josiah
33 cents. That's an obscure reference. And if you get that one, that's crazy. But.
- [59:47]
Drew
So was that good or just whatever.
- [59:50]
Josiah
Is that a good price? Or whatever price? Is that. So is that good or whatever price?
- [59:54]
Drew
Yeah, we just have to tweak it a little so we can use it. Like.
- [59:56]
Josiah
Right.
- [59:56]
Drew
So was that good or just like. Like, whatever.
- [59:59]
Josiah
Right, right. Yeah. They would be a good couple. We need to make them date. Holy.
- [60:05]
Drew
Like, the end of this episode has been, like, nothing. Like, I haven't, like, acknowledged that there's a camera here. We've just been talking to each other.
- [60:12]
Josiah
But there was something else.
- [60:14]
Drew
I have other stuff, but I'm gonna save it for the next episode since we got a stack for the holidays. Do you want to save it?
- [60:21]
Josiah
Yeah, I'LL save it.
- [60:22]
Drew
Yeah, save yourself. Hey, like you. You save yourself.
- [60:25]
Josiah
You know what? It was Spotify wrapped. Oh, should we review it?
- [60:30]
Drew
The 13th, maybe? That could be our media. Let's go into media. But it'll be. No, let's save it. Save that for the New Year's episode. All right, here's the media.
- [60:40]
Josiah
Media.
- [60:43]
Drew
I don't.
- [60:44]
Josiah
I wish you could sort by, like, what you're listening to right now.
- [60:48]
Drew
Technopolis by Yellow Magic Orchestra. That's the way. Oh, actually, I'm not gonna give that one because I want to keep that one for myself right now. How about that? And then Honestly, Love Is Overtaking Me by Arthur Russell and Black Metal by Dean Blunt. That's like all I've been listening to recently, other than like, other.
- [61:04]
Josiah
I just got a text from Zamar saying, I had a dream you were a suicide bomber and you literally bombed the gas station. Sounds about right. Why is everybody dreaming about me? I know because another friend dreamed about me.
- [61:17]
Drew
Quinton had a scary dream about Drew too. Maybe you are overtaken by.
- [61:22]
Josiah
I think and these are like my spiritual friends. Is in my spiritual.
- [61:25]
Drew
No, I don't find Zamar, like, to be a spiritual man. Lives by the happiness of his own.
- [61:31]
Josiah
Accord, which is beautiful. And I'm jealous. So I was on like a sad ass fucking vibe in Texas. So. Pinta Nina Santa Maria by Vangelis, Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space, spiritualized. And you know, I did it. I had to fucking do it. And I did. Star Roving in Slow Mo by Slow Dive.
- [61:52]
Drew
Wow.
- [61:52]
Josiah
I had to do it. I just had to because it was an emotional Thanksgiving for some reason. Just sad as. But I loved it. It was cute.
- [62:00]
Drew
All right, well, thank you guys so much for listening. See you next week.
- [62:05]
Josiah
Gay penis is just like.
- [62:36]
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