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- [00:15]
Drew Phillips
Welcome to this episode of. Hello?
- [00:21]
Humanzor
Oh, is anybody out there?
- [00:23]
Drew Phillips
Are you here yet?
- [00:24]
Humanzor
I'm here.
- [00:25]
Drew Phillips
Hey, look at me.
- [00:26]
Humanzor
Where'd you go?
- [00:27]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, where'd you go? We're home. Hey. Hey, look at me. We're home.
- [00:33]
Humanzor
Thank you. Thank you. On this episode of We're Home. I'm Drew Phillips.
- [00:41]
Drew Phillips
I'm. And you're Humanzor.
- [00:43]
Humanzor
And this is unmedicated adhd.
- [00:46]
Drew Phillips
Ew.
- [00:47]
Humanzor
Roll the intro.
- [00:53]
Drew Phillips
We should redo the intro. But it's, like, us dancing around, and it's literally the most, like, opposite of what we would ever do to scare people.
- [01:01]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [01:02]
Drew Phillips
Should we just make the intro, like, 10 minutes long so that, like, it, like, cuts out the amount of time we have to talk?
- [01:07]
Humanzor
Yes. We should also try doing, like, a normal episode.
- [01:12]
Drew Phillips
What does that mean?
- [01:13]
Humanzor
Like, a normie podcast episode.
- [01:15]
Drew Phillips
That would actually be so awesome, But I don't know. That would freak me out. It would be like yesterday how we both felt, like, super normal, and it was, like, scaring us.
- [01:23]
Humanzor
Yeah. Like, normal people scare me.
- [01:25]
Drew Phillips
That's okay. I was going to say that, but I was scared because, like, I don't want to offend the normal people, but, like, they scare me. Like, something is wrong with them.
- [01:33]
Humanzor
I'm talking to you.
- [01:34]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [01:35]
Humanzor
No, Normie core is going to come back in a very big way very soon. Specifically for me.
- [01:41]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [01:41]
Humanzor
I'm just going to, like, age into, like, being normal, pilled, and it's going to be awesome.
- [01:46]
Drew Phillips
I've been feeling that. But, like, normal, as in, like, 1835. Like, no technology.
- [01:54]
Humanzor
Victorian.
- [01:55]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, like that. That's the Norma. See, I'm going for, like, why do I need everything I have? Like, why do I need, need, need? Why don't I just accept what I have and, like, move on?
- [02:06]
Humanzor
I want more and more and more and more, and it's such a bad habit because I have everything I need right in front of me.
- [02:15]
Drew Phillips
Oh, my God. Are you looking at me?
- [02:18]
Humanzor
I'm looking at your boobs and vagina.
- [02:20]
Drew Phillips
Okay. I thought you were, like, for once, like, talking about me as a person and not, like, a sexual.
- [02:25]
Humanzor
Like, that's impossible to talk to, talk about a female that way.
- [02:34]
Drew Phillips
You know, I'm more than, like, it.
- [02:36]
Humanzor
Only took me five seconds to be misogynistic this episode.
- [02:40]
Drew Phillips
That's a good record for you. Like, usually it's, like, immediate out the gate, you look at me and something just clicks in your head. Yesterday, me and Drew had literally, like, the most ghostly day I think we've had in a long time.
- [02:56]
Humanzor
It Was really crazy. And it felt. You know what it felt like? And I described it in the car, but it felt like we had. I didn't say this, but it felt like we had taken Adderall and, like, that. That is, like, who we were supposed to be. Like, without our, like, ailments, whatever is going on in our brains. But, like, it was so dry. And, like, we really tried. We really tried to, like, make it. Yeah. We were like, let's go buy cactuses and be weird.
- [03:27]
Drew Phillips
And, like, that still wasn't doing it. It was just, like, dead silent. And also, for the first time ever, I wanted to go home so bad. But I was like, there's nothing there for me right now. And, like, I will probably only deteriorate faster into, like, oblivion and, like, fall into Fortnite for six hours and, like, fully disconnect from my life.
- [03:47]
Humanzor
Right when you got home, you were, oh, my God, I can't wait to play Fortnite and forget I exist. And I was like, that is so fucking real.
- [03:54]
Drew Phillips
Like, that is literally why I like it so much, because I get to spend three hours not existing. And then I realized, because recently I've been better at playing with friends, but I realized I don't like playing with, like, friends who aren't in front of me or around me because it feels like a lot of work to have to talk to them. And I'm like, I'm playing this game alone right now to forget I exist, not to talk to people I know in real life. Because you don't exist when I'm here.
- [04:17]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [04:18]
Drew Phillips
It's joining my party and watching me and trying to make me play with you. Because I'm not going to play with you.
- [04:22]
Humanzor
Yeah. How does, like, the chat room system work on Xbox and PlayStation? Like, that shit doesn't make sense to me.
- [04:30]
Drew Phillips
Oh, like how they could just tap you in and out.
- [04:33]
Humanzor
Yeah. Makes no sense. They need to add proximity. Chat to Fortnite.
- [04:37]
Drew Phillips
I want to hear little kids screaming. I say that, but, like, I don't think the mass. Majority of kids of people playing Fortnite anymore as kids. Like, I think it's like, a lot of adults.
- [04:47]
Humanzor
I mean. Yeah, it's like, a lot of result. Adults. I've been using this word so much, but it's like Fortnite's having. It's like Renaissance with, like, older people.
- [04:54]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [04:54]
Humanzor
Like, yeah, I think, like, it's still a lot of kids, though, because, like, that's all my nephews. Like, the popular. You know what's crazy is the Popular kids in school and, like, elementary and middle school. Like, they're, like, cool because they play video games and they play Fortnite.
- [05:10]
Drew Phillips
So insane.
- [05:11]
Humanzor
Yeah. Which is.
- [05:12]
Drew Phillips
But that's. That's, like, with, like, changed, like, iPhones now. Like, using your iPhone makes you cool. And it used to make you a loser who, like, wanted to get. Get kidnapped.
- [05:19]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [05:20]
Drew Phillips
Like, damn. Well, you want to get kidnapped. You hate your family.
- [05:22]
Humanzor
I really did want to get kidnapped, but, like.
- [05:27]
Drew Phillips
But we were. We were literally not real yesterday. It didn't linger fully into today, but I still don't feel, like, as real as I usually do. And I said what I said to Drew. Like, we also didn't say anything to each other because I think we were doing the thing where both of us didn't feel very good, but we weren't trying to say it because we didn't want to, like, absorb. Yeah. Infect each other. But I woke up, and I was like, oh, we should go to the farmer's market. Because we, like going to the farmer's market, even though we don't really cook, and there's no reason for us to be there. We just like being part of the.
- [05:57]
Humanzor
Community and getting the vegetables.
- [05:58]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [05:59]
Humanzor
Fruits. And we, like, letting them rot.
- [06:01]
Drew Phillips
Yeah. Just getting, like, two fruits each and putting them in a bowl and being like, oh, I can't wait to eat that, and then literally never eating it because we have object. What is it called? Permanence. And when we turn away from it, it doesn't exist. So you might as well have not fucking bought that fruit.
- [06:16]
Humanzor
We had object permanence yesterday. That's what it was like.
- [06:19]
Drew Phillips
What's the other one? When you don't, like, lack of.
- [06:24]
Humanzor
Maybe that's what it was like. I knew I was way too aware of my surroundings. Yeah. Like, even trying to hold a conversation was just, like, far too much. And I, like, couldn't hear anything anybody was saying. But I. You know what I blame it on is fucking American deli trying to murder me, y' all. I. We went to this restaurant, which is normally, like, it's lit as fuck. It's normally so good.
- [06:47]
Drew Phillips
But it's good because it's a chicken wing spot.
- [06:50]
Humanzor
Yeah. Yeah. And I. I was, like, trying to be brave and bold, and I got a hamburger from a burger. Yeah. And I'm not kidding. When I was eating it, I was like, damn, this is like.
- [07:01]
Drew Phillips
I know it up. Like, it sat there forever because a bunch of friends were over, and we were like, oh, let's, like, watch a movie and Eat. And we were, like, sitting there, and it took so long to, like, pick a movie. We didn't end up even watching a movie because we couldn't decide on one.
- [07:13]
Humanzor
It was so bad.
- [07:14]
Drew Phillips
Everyone finished our food, and I looked over to Drew, and he finally put something on and put it down and, like, opened up his burger and was, this is gonna taste like. And I looked back three minutes later, was literally gone.
- [07:22]
Humanzor
I obliterated that burger. And there was something in the oil or the grease. I don't know what it was. But, like, almost immediately, my stomach started cramping. And, like, it was like, oh, this is just, like, typical. Like, oh, my stomach hurts every time I eat food in general. Like, this is just what that is. But it kept, like, evolving. And it literally, at one point, I thought, like, I was having, like, a period or something. Like, my ovaries were, like, shedding, or their uterine was shedding its lining or whatever, the uterine lining. And I was, like, about to start bleeding through my penis tip. But, like, I literally. I literally was sitting there, and I was trying so hard not to complain because I was like, dude, like, I'm always complaining about something. Like, can I just shut the fuck for one time? And then it started getting serious. And, like, I was explaining it to Mason. I was like. I, like, my vision started, like, unfocusing, and, like, my eyes started wobbling. It was, like, really fucking scary. And then I started getting, like, cold sweats.
- [08:15]
Drew Phillips
And I was like, anytime you describe your eyes wobbling, like, I don't. Like, I've never once in my life experience that. So I, like, it was just.
- [08:24]
Humanzor
It was a lot. And I was just, like, sitting there, and I, like, started, like. Like, getting shortness of breath. And I was like, what the fuck is going on with me? And then I started getting, like, really fudgeing tired. And I was like, oh, maybe I just need a nap. And then I was just like, no, because, like, I don't want to ruin the vibe. And then something came over me where I, like, became a zombie. And I was just, like, looking at everybody and, like, I couldn't understand what people were saying. And, like, I didn't know what was a joke and what was serious. And I just started getting, like, really insecure in my head. It was like I was having a fucking green out bad trip or something. So then I just walked out of my room.
- [08:55]
Drew Phillips
Girl, you had the Shroom burger.
- [08:57]
Humanzor
Yeah, literally, I had the Portobello Shroom Burger, but it was actually penis envy mushrooms. But I, like, I left the living room without saying a fucking word to anybody.
- [09:06]
Drew Phillips
Because I was like, he literally disappeared. And then I was like, damn, that burger got his ass. He literally just like left.
- [09:12]
Humanzor
I was like, oh, I'm just gonna go lay down for a second, like, and just like recoup and then I'll be fine. And I collapse on the bed. Like, I literally collapse on the bed. Like, you know, dead bodies, like, like when their arms are all literally me on the concrete in front of the house. I got too drunk and I like started like feeling better, but I still felt like shit. But it was so weird. I was like having like closed eyed hallucinations about like, just like the worst shit possible. And I was like spiraling out of control. And like in that moment I literally was like, I should like go out there and tell them that I think I'm dying and so they can take me to the hospital. But I was like, I always fucking do this. Like, I'm always dying. And then I fall asleep and wake up the next day and I'm fine. But for real, like, I accepted death from that goddamn burger. I lay, I like laid there for probably 30 minutes, like having like hallucinations from this grease or whatever. I don't know what the fuck was going on. And then I like, rose and I was like, there was a moment, yeah, literally the pink sauce. There was like a moment where I was like, literally like trying to move my hands because I couldn't. I didn't know if it like had paralyzed me or something.
- [10:11]
Drew Phillips
And the only person who can put yourself into sickness just from thinking about it.
- [10:16]
Humanzor
And I like, I like, literally was like trying to move my hand. I was like, oh, my God, they're not moving. And then eventually, like the synapses fired and it connected or some shit. And then I got under the covers because I was like, fuck, this is bad, this is bad. And I just like kind of ruminated and had like an anxiety attack for like two hours because I was awake almost the entire time about like, oh, I'm like going to die and they're going to find my body in the morning and like all this shit. But no, I woke up, I really thought I was going to die. I accepted death. I looked death in the face and survived.
- [10:46]
Drew Phillips
I will say I also felt really fudgeing, nauseous. Like I like, like when everybody left, I was gonna play fortnite, but then I like felt not good and I was like, oh. When I started getting a really gnarly migraine. So I like Got up and, like, got ready for bed and just went to go lay down. And after I showered and everything, by the time I got to my bed, I was on the phone and I literally was like, oh, my God, I'm so nauseous that speaking makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up. So I was like, I need to go. And I just, like, hung up and, like, knocked out because I was like, I actually. If I stay up any longer, I'm gonna. I'm gonna throw up. Also, I had to fall asleep sitting, kind of, like lifted up, because if I laid down all the way, I felt really nauseous and like, I was gonna puke everywhere. But that's also because I had chicken wings and then carvel cake, hot dogs, and below. So I ate like a 12 year old at a birthday party for the first time.
- [11:33]
Humanzor
It was. It was really bad. And also on top of that, we ate, like, curry three days in a row for, like, every meal. Which, like, don't get me wrong, it was delicious and I would do it again. But I think that added on to it that, like, the curry, like, pork.
- [11:50]
Drew Phillips
Literally two times a day for three days is probably, like, not the best.
- [11:53]
Humanzor
It, like, coated my insides and, like.
- [11:57]
Drew Phillips
By Steve, but it's so yummy. And I literally would have curry again today inside. But, yeah, we were. We didn't feel real yesterday. And I think it's because of the food we ate and we didn't say anything to each other. We, like, went. I was like, oh, let's go do this. And then, like, let's bring a book and read. And we read for a while. But then it was so fudgeing cold outside that I was like, we need to leave. And while I was driving us to the cactus store, I was like, I feel like, whoa. My stomach just growled crazy. I was like, I feel too real today because I can literally feel the pebbled leather on my steering wheel. And, like, that's when I know, like, I need to, like, not be in this car because I literally, like, I am, like, feeling things and realizing everything around me is real.
- [12:37]
Humanzor
Too self aware.
- [12:38]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, I'm like, too self aware. And then I was like, it's better when I drive and I end up somewhere. And I'm like, oh, my God, I don't even remember getting here. Like, that's what I like in my day is, like, my disassociative driving. But I was, like, not disassociating. So I was, like, fully present in that moment. And I really didn't like it and it was scaring the out of me because I was like, oh my God, I can recognize every car around me and see that there are humans in it. I really like when I like get in my car and then like 30 minutes later I'm somewhere and I'm like, I don't even remember how I got here. Yeah, and that feels really good. Even though, like, I feel like that's dangerous. And it actually used to scare the fuck out of me when I first started driving. I remember like going on my fin and I don't know if you remember this, but ranting because I was like, this cannot be safe. Like, I've never heard of anybody have this. But when I drive, I literally don't know like what happens, but I just end up where I'm supposed to be going. And then I'm like, oh my God. Like that was an hour long drive. How do I not remember anything for.
- [13:30]
Humanzor
That hour Called like street hypnosis or driver's hypnosis or something like that where like you like will wake up after five minutes of driving and not realize you were just driving for five minutes and you're like, I could have killed everybody in this car and just not have like even questioned it.
- [13:46]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, I literally feel like I ran every red light. Like I was just like tailing the car behind me.
- [13:52]
Humanzor
Yeah, Kai, we're like recording, so let's try not to make sounds.
- [13:54]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, try not to drop the LaCroix all over, like. See, that's why I don't give you anything. That's why I don't give you anything. Because look at the way you treat the things I give you.
- [14:01]
Kai
I made a small noise.
- [14:03]
Humanzor
It was so loud, it actually, I think my eardrum is bursting from that.
- [14:08]
Kai
Yeah, that was so small.
- [14:10]
Drew Phillips
It's funny how you don't apologize. You just like.
- [14:12]
Kai
Well, that was. I usually apologize, but I'm gonna push back today because I was so small.
- [14:17]
Drew Phillips
That's not the only thing about you that's small. Yeah, I said it. Are you gonna tag in on that? Are you just too hurt?
- [14:24]
Humanzor
He is skinny.
- [14:26]
Drew Phillips
No, I didn't.
- [14:27]
Kai
Oh, thank you. That's a twist.
- [14:29]
Drew Phillips
That's a choice.
- [14:30]
Humanzor
I got you. Well, I want to talk about the right in the guy. That was a psycho psychological operation. What the was that? How is that a thing? How did that happen so many times?
- [14:49]
Drew Phillips
So many times. Didn't it only happen once?
- [14:51]
Humanzor
No, it happened.
- [14:52]
Drew Phillips
Or was he constantly stalking the news and like, doing that?
- [14:55]
Humanzor
There's like an eight minute compilation of him saying that on live streams, it's the craziest vibe ever.
- [15:03]
Drew Phillips
Like, wait, no, that's not real. Because I thought it was just the one time.
- [15:07]
Humanzor
No, there was like, unless I'm like, experience Mandela effect and Quantum Hackers are changing my timeline and shifting my reality. But, like, that happened, like, a bunch. Am I wrong? Kai.
- [15:17]
Kai
Yeah, I think he got, like, three people.
- [15:20]
Humanzor
Yeah, he, like, bodied something.
- [15:21]
Drew Phillips
There's four of them.
- [15:22]
Humanzor
I know. There was, like, a Halloween one.
- [15:25]
Drew Phillips
Okay, wait, I can't tell if it's a thing, but I think it's like, it's. It's. It's like a thing that it happened once, and then the news anchors were like, I would have handled that better. And then, like, maybe it became like, no, he.
- [15:35]
Humanzor
He did it a hundred times. Like, I. I specifically remember him doing it multiple times.
- [15:41]
Drew Phillips
Maybe you just watched it so many times.
- [15:44]
Humanzor
No, but, like, when.
- [15:46]
Drew Phillips
What year was that? Like, when was that a thing?
- [15:48]
Humanzor
That was like, I like Turtles. That was like, that era, like, post Charlie bit my finger. Viral era, post evolution of dance, that shit. Fucking eight.
- [16:01]
Drew Phillips
I don't know what evolution of dance is.
- [16:03]
Kai
Oh, that's a classic.
- [16:04]
Humanzor
Are you serious?
- [16:05]
Drew Phillips
I don't know what that is.
- [16:06]
Humanzor
It was just this dude doing, like, different timeline or different decades of dance on stage. And, like, he was, like, really fluid, and, like, his body would move really, like. He was good at dancing. The TMZ sound, that one. Yeah, it's just like this old balding man that everybody's like, how the is he doing this? But it's like, it's. It's not gonna hold up today. It's gonna be corny, but, like, back in 2008, this was the.
- [16:38]
Drew Phillips
Damn. My. Boring.
- [16:40]
Humanzor
You didn't even watch it.
- [16:42]
Drew Phillips
I watched you.
- [16:43]
Humanzor
You watched literally 0.3 seconds of it and said, damn, that's boring, and you skipped it.
- [16:49]
Drew Phillips
Okay, okay, okay, I'm gonna speed watch it.
- [16:52]
Humanzor
It's not gonna translate in twice. Speed.
- [16:56]
Drew Phillips
You mean that's not translating? This looks like nothing.
- [17:07]
Humanzor
Yeah, because you're. It's like. It's the OG Fortnite emote. That's where that came from. Like the. It came from the evolution.
- [17:16]
Drew Phillips
No, it did not.
- [17:16]
Humanzor
No, it didn't.
- [17:17]
Drew Phillips
Oh, do you see how fast I was gonna pick it up to watch it? Like, I was like, oh, God, I need to know the reference for my culture. Like. Like, I need to know the references.
- [17:27]
Humanzor
Yeah. But yeah, I just wanted to briefly talk about that because, like, that was crazy that that happened and went down and I couldn't believe that it was going down.
- [17:36]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, that had. Some of that had to have been fake because what, Like, I don't even understand it.
- [17:41]
Humanzor
Like, viral video culture in general in the early 2010s was, like, insane. Like, go watch any video that we want. Like, any. Was it Slow Mo or whatever, the parody songs, like, snatching the people up. Hide your kids, hide your wife. That. Like, go watch any of those and you'll see, like, how cringy we were when we were kids. And you have no right or audacity to point to the kids now and be like, look how cringy they are. Like, they're so cringy. No, look at what we used to do and what we used to reference.
- [18:14]
Drew Phillips
Yeah. When we were watching that hitchhiker thing and they were showing, like, the. The auto tune edits of it, I was like, I can't believe this was ever something that, like, we accepted to consume as, like, comedy.
- [18:23]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [18:23]
Drew Phillips
It's like somebody just, like, chopping, screwing, and, like, making them sing the sentence.
- [18:28]
Humanzor
Like, yeah, it, like, literally just adding a vocoder to the voice. But, yeah, that.
- [18:39]
Drew Phillips
It's scaring you. Talk about it.
- [18:41]
Humanzor
No, I just. I just thought about, like, the American Sign Language peoples on stage. Like, faking sign language and.
- [18:53]
Kai
Kai, what the fuck was that?
- [18:55]
Drew Phillips
Did a bird just hit the window?
- [18:57]
Kai
I don't know, but the. The drawer thing opened. It rattled. Like, this thing rattled.
- [19:06]
Humanzor
Stop. You're literally scaring me right now. Because this is a paranormal experience.
- [19:09]
Drew Phillips
Open it. It.
- [19:11]
Kai
I don't want to. Open it. There's something.
- [19:13]
Drew Phillips
An animal.
- [19:14]
Humanzor
Wait, are you serious right now? Because I'm terrifying. I heard it too, but I thought it was you hitting your mic.
- [19:19]
Kai
No, like, this rattled.
- [19:22]
Drew Phillips
Open it. Oh, my God.
- [19:23]
Humanzor
No, because there's a critter.
- [19:25]
Drew Phillips
Where are the men in the world?
- [19:26]
Humanzor
There's probably a critter in there. A ghost or a ghoul. Kai, be careful.
- [19:36]
Drew Phillips
We're gonna see Kai get scared.
- [19:38]
Kai
Oh, God.
- [19:40]
Drew Phillips
It's probably just something falling.
- [19:41]
Kai
Oh, something fell.
- [19:43]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [19:43]
Humanzor
I literally thought a ghoul was in our house.
- [19:45]
Drew Phillips
See? See how these men act in this situation?
- [19:48]
Kai
I wasn't scared.
- [19:49]
Humanzor
I wasn't scared. I wasn't even scared either. Why would you. No, this is like. Like white people in scary movies. Like, open it. Open it. Go in there. That's how you behave. We behave properly. Like, run away. Don't address the drama.
- [20:02]
Drew Phillips
I'm doing my due diligence. I'm killing y' all off. I'm like, go. I'm like, you go. Go look. Go look and see how you obeyed my command.
- [20:10]
Kai
I will always obey a queen.
- [20:12]
Drew Phillips
Okay.
- [20:12]
Humanzor
It was the AIDS Sex location ghost or the ASL American Sign Language ghost. That's a coincidence in the timeline that needs to be sorted out. But, yeah, I was just thinking about.
- [20:24]
Drew Phillips
I've never answered that truthfully.
- [20:27]
Humanzor
What.
- [20:27]
Drew Phillips
But continue asl. Oh, because I haven't been asked that since I was.
- [20:33]
Humanzor
But, like, you had to lie.
- [20:36]
Drew Phillips
But I had to lie for my life.
- [20:38]
Humanzor
Yeah, but I was just, like, thinking about, like, the ones, like, faking it on stage and just, like, not doing anything and, like, getting caught. Like, how do you hold up a lie that long? That, like, Congress. Yeah. That you make it to, like, Congress. Lying about sign language. Like, how is that possible? Who let this, like, person slip through the.
- [21:02]
Drew Phillips
Also, like, what does that give to you? Because that's, like, probably the most embarrassing, shameful thing ever to be on national TV doing, like, literally, like, knowing sign language and watching and being like, that person's faking that. Like, that's not real.
- [21:16]
Humanzor
Getting caught, like, up in that lie is.
- [21:19]
Drew Phillips
Do you think they, like, would ever get rehired?
- [21:23]
Humanzor
No.
- [21:23]
Drew Phillips
No. Not even at, like, a small town.
- [21:26]
Humanzor
Like, livestream maybe if they never saw the video with 300 million view. But, like, I don't know. I don't know. But, like, yeah, that shit was making me, like, freak out just now and then. Also, just, like, the. The sign language ladies at, like, rap concerts, like, who, like, really go in. Yeah, yeah, like, the Playboy, Cardi and Waka Flocka one comes to mind immediately. I just, like, love that energy.
- [21:51]
Drew Phillips
It's like, it's. It's like security guards at concerts when they, like, you see them enjoying themselves at the concert, and then you're like, oh, you fully were down for this job. So bad. Because, like, you love music. Like, because I feel like most of those security guards at venues, at least the ones I interact with, like, oh, my God, like, must evil Fran Leibowitz. And in New York, that one. I'm like, you're just here because, like, you've been here for so long and you don't give a. About music. But, like, I love when I see, like, younger security guards who obviously are just, like, music fans that. And they're, like, enjoying themselves at the concert. And I'm like, that is so slay. But it must suck to not be able to turn to the artist because, like, I. It's kind of sad when you see a security guard in a video, like, like, bopping their head around and, like, listening, but they can't look.
- [22:38]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [22:39]
Drew Phillips
I just say, like, ignore the odd music. What?
- [22:42]
Humanzor
I just don't with music in concerts and like, that shit's so boring. It's like, I don't with these earthly material things. Like, I'm a more spiritual being and I, like, value connection with others.
- [22:54]
Drew Phillips
You think music is too earthly? Yeah, it's. It' the dawn of time of a form of, like, communication and art.
- [23:00]
Humanzor
I don't want to bind myself to earthly.
- [23:05]
Drew Phillips
But you can make music and sounds via, like, just your mouth, so it's kind of like, not even earthly. It's.
- [23:10]
Humanzor
Yeah, we'll listen to all the music. What are they talking about? Love, sex, money, drugs, cheating. Oh, lying.
- [23:19]
Drew Phillips
I mean, like, wouldn't you say that's a good thing? Because it's like, kind of giving a scope into so many people's. I'm just confused. I'm, like, kind of confused because this has never been your vibe.
- [23:28]
Humanzor
So now you're like, yeah, I switched up recently. I'm. I just said I'm a more spiritual being, so.
- [23:33]
Drew Phillips
But, like, what, like, how minerals and.
- [23:35]
Kai
Crystals drew opened Infinite Jest again.
- [23:38]
Humanzor
Yeah, literally did.
- [23:40]
Drew Phillips
I saw it the other day and I literally cracked up. Like, I picked it up and I was like, who the is walking out of the store with this? And then I remembered you. And you. You have that, huh?
- [23:49]
Humanzor
And Josh.
- [23:50]
Drew Phillips
See how only the men in my life have that.
- [23:53]
Humanzor
Well, it's like philosophy.
- [23:54]
Drew Phillips
I literally don't know a girl who owns that book. And I also know Ryan. The only person I know who's finished it is Josh.
- [24:03]
Humanzor
No, he didn't even finish it.
- [24:04]
Drew Phillips
That's crazy, because Josh can finish a book. Josh, like. Or Josh is like a book worm.
- [24:08]
Humanzor
It's like, it's literally like the worst book ever written. It's just like. It's like the same idea of, like, the sign language. People faking it until they make it. Like, everybody's faking. Like they understand this book. Like. Like pseudo intelligence.
- [24:21]
Drew Phillips
Also, like, from what everyone's described to me, it literally is classic. Like, man take shroom, realize other human have feeling.
- [24:28]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [24:29]
Drew Phillips
And then is like, oh, my God, I need to write a book about this. What the. And then he did a bunch of Aderall and wrote like, the longest book ever for no reason.
- [24:37]
Humanzor
That's the other thing.
- [24:37]
Drew Phillips
Like, it doesn't need to be that long.
- [24:39]
Humanzor
Books don't need to be that long.
- [24:40]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [24:41]
Humanzor
Book.
- [24:41]
Drew Phillips
I don't think books in general need to be that long. Also. Like, we. We Gotta get over it. Like, Moby Dick. Like, stop making kids read that. Like, like, I'm sorry, like what? Like, what is there to reference in that that has anything to do with my life?
- [24:52]
Humanzor
Moby Dick signed his soul away to the devil. Like, sold his soul to make it the most popular book in the world. Yeah, because I think Don Quixote is actually the most popular book in the world.
- [25:00]
Drew Phillips
Wait, I'm gonna look up most popular.
- [25:01]
Humanzor
It's like the Bible, then Don Quixote.
- [25:04]
Drew Phillips
That. No, that's the store in Japan.
- [25:06]
Humanzor
No, but there's a book also.
- [25:09]
Drew Phillips
Like, I don't. Like, I've never heard that. I'm not kidding. I've never heard that in my life.
- [25:12]
Humanzor
It's like, it's like a really big book.
- [25:15]
Drew Phillips
Okay, list of best selling books. Here we go, guys. Oh, it is Don Quixote.
- [25:21]
Humanzor
See how I.
- [25:22]
Drew Phillips
That's. That's the second most. So it's the Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, Don Quixote, the Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring, the Two Towers and Return of the King.
- [25:38]
Humanzor
Literally farting on those books. If you put that book in my face, I will fart on it. I will. I will never read a Lord of the Rings book. Yeah, sorry.
- [25:47]
Drew Phillips
They literally have that in movie. Like, there's movie magic to be seen. Like, why are you using your head?
- [25:54]
Humanzor
I would attempt to read Harry Potter. I also, we had like this book club thing in my school where, like, if you read a book, like, the longer the book was, the more points you got. I think it was called, like, ar. No, that's AR Testing.
- [26:08]
Drew Phillips
AR Testing is the one where you're like, seeing how fast you read.
- [26:11]
Humanzor
Yeah, I don't know what it was, but I like, was like, oh, I'm gonna, like, read Harry Potter for this. And like, you have to read the book and then take like a test on the book and then you get points for it. I said I read all of the Harry Potter books up until that point, but I literally just like skimmed Spark notes and skimmed the movie because I will never watch Harry Potter all the way through. Never will.
- [26:34]
Drew Phillips
So you would maybe read the book, but you wouldn't watch the movie?
- [26:38]
Humanzor
No, because it's a personality trait.
- [26:39]
Drew Phillips
What if you watch it on double speed?
- [26:41]
Humanzor
No.
- [26:41]
Drew Phillips
And you also have a switch in front of you so you can play.
- [26:44]
Humanzor
And kind of not watch genuinely. I will go the rest of my life without watching Harry Potter movie. Just so on my deathbed I can say I never consumed Harry Potter content. But I I don't fuck with that shit.
- [26:56]
Drew Phillips
I'm so sorry, because I know some of you bitches love that show.
- [26:58]
Humanzor
No, it's. It's the thing.
- [27:00]
Drew Phillips
I know one of you has that damn scarf.
- [27:02]
Humanzor
I kind of get it. Ew Literally does have it from the heaven shoot. But the thing is, like, I understand it and, like, I get why it's enjoyable and, like, whatever, but I am not becoming a part of that culture. New. Ew.
- [27:20]
Drew Phillips
Nasty.
- [27:21]
Humanzor
But I. I.
- [27:23]
Kai
Well, we don't want you anyway.
- [27:24]
Drew Phillips
Well, I like the butterbeer at Universal.
- [27:26]
Humanzor
Oh, yeah. What did you just say to me?
- [27:29]
Kai
We don't want you.
- [27:30]
Drew Phillips
Oh, the nerds. You think that's supposed to hurt our feel? Do you see what jacket I'm wearing? This represents litness and jock and slay girl.
- [27:38]
Humanzor
No, it's dead cheerleaders of a cast.
- [27:40]
Drew Phillips
From a cathedral church.
- [27:41]
Humanzor
Yeah, like, what are you talking about? What are you.
- [27:45]
Drew Phillips
Oh.
- [27:48]
Humanzor
What was I saying? Oh, Harry Potter. But I faked, like, I read it and then took the test and aced it and got a bunch of points towards the goal. And, like, at the end of the year, if you had the most points but a fucking course, like, the nerd losers won, and I, like, ended up getting, like, seventh place. But. But, yeah, you had to take, like, a test to show that you read the book and understood it.
- [28:08]
Drew Phillips
But, oh, yeah, that was the thing. I think that was ar reading you. You had to, like, every book you checked out, you had to take a test on the book to prove you read. Read it for the most part. Because I do remember taking tests about books I would read where it was, like, when did so and so do this?
- [28:23]
Humanzor
Yeah, and that's when you were looking up. Blue eyes, white boy with black long hair, Emo boys.
- [28:29]
Drew Phillips
Oh, yeah, to. To call my girl out, if you don't know. When I was in, like, fourth grade, this girl, I. I think I said this story before, but basically she came to us and she, like, was showing us a picture on her, like, little ass phone. I was like, this is my boyfriend. He's 16. Like, he's in love with me. And I looked at it and, like, because I also had older siblings and older cousins who were on MySpace, I looked at it and I was like, that's a boy from MySpace. But I didn't say anything because I'm slick. And then when we all got to computer time, I was like, oh, my God, come look at this. Like, I think I found her boyfriend. Like, what? Like, I. I can't Google myself. And Find photos. This is weird. And then I called her out for lying, and it was so unnecessary, and I should have just let her get away with it. But I had really big beef with her because I felt like she was trying to replace me in my friend group.
- [29:17]
Humanzor
Damn. I had a moment like that, too.
- [29:20]
Drew Phillips
And then I remember freaking out about it. I was like, it's supposed to be four of us. It can't be five of us. Who the is she?
- [29:25]
Humanzor
Like, I literally freaked out.
- [29:27]
Drew Phillips
I was like, I'm not having this. She's a liar, and she's. She's so weird. And she was alive.
- [29:31]
Humanzor
Why do we carry that into our real, like, our adult life where we're like, no new friends. Like, you have to, like, try out.
- [29:37]
Drew Phillips
Well, that's now, because we, like, actually have, like, no emotional or mental capacity.
- [29:41]
Humanzor
We have nothing else to give. Nothing else to give. Like, oh, what the was I gonna say? We're talking about reading, reading, reading.
- [29:51]
Drew Phillips
Also, catch her in the Rye. Like, you don't need to read that. I'm not reading that. Oh, I never read it, and I'm not reading it. Like, what? Why did they sell that still?
- [29:59]
Humanzor
In the same vein. In the same vein. Did y' all have, like, Yik Yak at your high school or.
- [30:07]
Drew Phillips
Like, I remember I downloaded it, and I really wanted my high school to have it, but, like, since nobody used their phone the way I did, like, it wasn't a thing.
- [30:15]
Humanzor
So nobody used the Internet. Do you know Yik Yak was.
- [30:18]
Kai
Yeah. But I was in college.
- [30:20]
Drew Phillips
Whoa. Damn.
- [30:22]
Kai
I was, like, a. So I was, like, a sophomore, like, two years.
- [30:25]
Drew Phillips
I will say. I think it was made for. For college students.
- [30:28]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [30:29]
Kai
I think I've said this on the podcast, but Yikyak at UCLA was, like, vile. It was, like, people and stuff, and I wasn't really doing.
- [30:38]
Humanzor
Wait, what does people mean? What is that?
- [30:39]
Drew Phillips
Like, they were posting them.
- [30:41]
Kai
Yeah.
- [30:42]
Humanzor
Like, what does that mean?
- [30:43]
Drew Phillips
It would be like, oh, making love. But some people don't do it with love.
- [30:47]
Humanzor
They do it for, like, personally, that's a spiritual being.
- [30:50]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [30:50]
Humanzor
I only understand love and connection. Not. Or whatever. But. But keep going.
- [30:56]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, keep going.
- [30:58]
Kai
Yeah. It would be like people getting their dick sucked and stuff.
- [31:00]
Humanzor
And I would, like, what's the link?
- [31:02]
Kai
I don't have the link. I don't have the link. But I just remember people were like.
- [31:06]
Drew Phillips
Dude, there's so many videos of what he's talking about on the Internet. You don't need that link.
- [31:10]
Kai
Drew, do you know what porn is?
- [31:12]
Humanzor
No.
- [31:13]
Drew Phillips
He is Spiritually inclined. He does not know what the P word is. Don't introduce that to him.
- [31:18]
Kai
We just don't see you for, like, two weeks.
- [31:21]
Humanzor
You just introduced me to my dark side. But yeah, and Yik Yak, I think I might have talked about this too, as well, if you've talked about it. But it was just, like, a bunch of people, like, exposing everybody in high school and, like, like saying the rumors publicly so, like, everybody could see them. And I did not know this was a rumor about me, but apparently this was talked about. But, like, I was driving and getting roadhead from someone, and I had a seizure and crashed. And, like, that was. The rumor about me in high school was that I was getting roadhead, I had a seizure and I crashed. Like, that was put everywhere on your kick. And it was all. It was, like, most liked for the day or whatever. The system was, like, literally insane. And then, like, all the other ones were so, like, mellow, like, blah, blah, blah, cheated on blah, blah, blah. Or, like, blah, blah, blah's dad is in jail.
- [32:13]
Drew Phillips
Damn.
- [32:14]
Kai
Yeah, I was. I was homecoming king in high school.
- [32:18]
Drew Phillips
Oh, my God.
- [32:19]
Humanzor
I can actually look that up. And I saw videos of your high school because you showed me.
- [32:24]
Kai
Oh, okay.
- [32:25]
Humanzor
And you weren't the homecoming king.
- [32:27]
Drew Phillips
Damn.
- [32:28]
Kai
I just like that I lied.
- [32:31]
Drew Phillips
It's the thing is when you lie.
- [32:32]
Humanzor
Home, coming with you into M's king from masturbation. That's what you were homecoming king? More like at homecoming.
- [32:50]
Kai
Okay, you got me, dude.
- [32:51]
Humanzor
Be a masturbation.
- [32:53]
Drew Phillips
Also, Kai, just for future reference, when you lie, you're supposed to say something kind of believable, like, oh, on my way here, somebody pushed me over, and I, like, almost got a concussion because they just saw my face and I looked pushable to them. Like, then I would be like, oh, my God, I'm sorry that happened to you. That does sound believable.
- [33:07]
Kai
I think me being the homecoming king is believable.
- [33:09]
Drew Phillips
Yeah.
- [33:11]
Humanzor
Not to me.
- [33:12]
Kai
I'm 61 here.
- [33:15]
Drew Phillips
Not though. We already talked about that.
- [33:16]
Kai
Okay.
- [33:17]
Humanzor
You're five foot three.
- [33:19]
Drew Phillips
Yeah. And you're not gonna lie. You're not gonna use our platform to lie to them. You're not using this. You're not using this platform.
- [33:25]
Humanzor
Do you want to know someone who's actually six one? Me, six four, actually. I just hit my growth spurt again. Did y' all see the picture of me dunking?
- [33:36]
Kai
That photo is crazy.
- [33:38]
Humanzor
Do you see my bounce?
- [33:39]
Kai
It looked like a still from a Pixar movie.
- [33:41]
Humanzor
Yeah, I will say, when I saw.
- [33:42]
Drew Phillips
It, I Like, showed it to Drew. I was like, oh, my God. You, like, got.
- [33:46]
Humanzor
And I was like, what the fuck? I didn't know I could jump that high. We'll insert it right now.
- [33:54]
Kai
I got it. All right.
- [33:56]
Humanzor
Yeah, but I, like, I have bounce. I can dunk now on regulation hoops. Like, I'm thinking about starting a basketball league with me and my friends and, like. Or a team, at least. And joining a league. That team would look like, oh, we would suck.
- [34:10]
Drew Phillips
So that would suck so bad.
- [34:12]
Humanzor
How funny would it be thinking of.
- [34:13]
Drew Phillips
Like, you, Mason, Kai, Zamar, Christian, Josh, Lucas, and Messiah on a team? At least it would have to do it.
- [34:20]
Humanzor
Yeah, but no, we were. Me and Mason were already theorized it.
- [34:23]
Drew Phillips
Would literally be Elisa and Mason carrying.
- [34:24]
Humanzor
Yeah, exactly.
- [34:25]
Drew Phillips
No, I've never actually seen Elisa play, but she loves to brag that she can really play her ass.
- [34:30]
Humanzor
I bet she can play.
- [34:31]
Drew Phillips
But I do believe it, because I'm like, you were bored like that, huh? Like, she, like. She said that when she first went to, like, extracurricular college, she would literally just, like, go to the basketball court and play with, like, anybody who's playing. Yeah, but I'm like, you sound like you were that boy sometimes.
- [34:44]
Humanzor
I was just telling Mason, I was like, imagine how funny it would be if, like, we started a team and, like, in an intramural league that, like, the audience is supposed to be three people, but, like, I blow up the spot one day and, like, have, like, 5,000 people show up and, like, the.
- [34:58]
Drew Phillips
Scene from Space Jam.
- [34:59]
Humanzor
Exactly. But I, like, up and, like, everybody. I suck at basketball, so it'd be, like, really funny. Actually, no. I am randomly good at basketball.
- [35:10]
Drew Phillips
Okay.
- [35:10]
Humanzor
No, I. I randomly am. I swear to God.
- [35:14]
Drew Phillips
I heard Drew mentioned basketball, like, for the first time in his adult life, like, a year. Oh, are you gonna cry?
- [35:20]
Humanzor
No, I. I swear to God.
- [35:22]
Drew Phillips
Cry or throw up.
- [35:23]
Humanzor
I burped. My throat hurts, bro. No, y' all. Y' all, y' all. I'm gonna make a mixtape. I'm gonna make a mixtape. I'm gonna make a mixtape.
- [35:32]
Drew Phillips
What were you, like, a diss track?
- [35:37]
Humanzor
No, like a Hooper's mixtape. If you were a real Hooper, you wouldn't know what a dude I was. I'm athletic.
- [35:45]
Drew Phillips
Drew is back to being my, like, my amnesia driven uncle in the back seat of my car because I forgot who we were with was the window side.
- [35:54]
Humanzor
Oh, big boy.
- [35:55]
Drew Phillips
We were driving around, and he goes, big boy, big boy, big. What is that? Is that Is. Is that a Sza song? And then we were like, yeah. And then he just went silent again and we kept talking. He goes, what are the. I need a big boy. I need a big boy. What are the lyrics to that? And then we were like, you just said them. And he was like, like, okay. Went silent again and then was like, wait, was that for SNL or like, is that a real song? And we were like, dude, what the fuck are you asking us right now? It was literally like he kept asking things, going dead silent as if he was looking it up and then asking us.
- [36:25]
Humanzor
And we were like, dude, yes, all valid questions. Sorry. You see what happens when you silence people? Bad shit. When you don't allow people to ask questions.
- [36:36]
Drew Phillips
What's the bad thing that happened?
- [36:39]
Humanzor
Oh, just look around. Look around. Look around the room. No, but genuinely look around. And I'm gonna become one of those.
- [36:47]
Drew Phillips
Oh. And so basically he did that. And then three seconds later I just hear basketball clips playing from his phone really loud. So I thought he was a look it up. But he didn't look it up. He moved on immediately and started watching basketball clips.
- [37:02]
Kai
You're not a Hooper, you're geriatric.
- [37:04]
Humanzor
And you should kill yourself.
- [37:06]
Kai
Oh.
- [37:09]
Humanzor
Oh, I'm the bad guy now.
- [37:11]
Kai
Don't say anything. Make him feel bad for what he said to me.
- [37:13]
Humanzor
And you should kill yourself.
- [37:14]
Drew Phillips
Your name must be Billy Eilish, cuz.
- [37:16]
Humanzor
You're the bad guy, bruh. I'm the bad fly. No, I'm seriously done. I'm done all of you.
- [37:28]
Drew Phillips
But yeah, he's back to being like the insane person. Like also what makes it so eerie is Drew is dead silent the whole car ride. And then that's what bursts out of his mouth. And then he gets really silent after again.
- [37:40]
Humanzor
Just wait till I kill someone.
- [37:43]
Drew Phillips
Until I blow up.
- [37:44]
Humanzor
Just wait till I blow up. Roblox. The Roblox music.
- [37:50]
Drew Phillips
I was never on Roblox. Dude, we're already at the point. I was at moma and there was an exhibit thing for video games and Minecraft was one of those like video.
- [38:00]
Humanzor
Games they were showcasing. Makes sense.
- [38:02]
Drew Phillips
Wow.
- [38:02]
Humanzor
It's like the world's biggest game. Damn. That was 10 years ago.
- [38:06]
Drew Phillips
12 years ago when Minecraft started.
- [38:08]
Humanzor
Yeah, I mean when I started playing. Cuz I was an early adopter.
- [38:12]
Kai
I was an early adopter. I played the Java version and I.
- [38:15]
Humanzor
Played like before, like you probably.
- [38:17]
Drew Phillips
I played that one too, but I only had a Mac and my Mac sounded like it was going to explode, so I had to get it off of there really quick.
- [38:24]
Humanzor
I. I would play my brother had a MacBook. One of those white was like, one of the white ones. And the screen. So this is when I had my knee surgery. My brother gave me that MacBook. And the screen was broken on it, but if you connected it, like, via the hdmi. They didn't have hdmi. Then it was like the blue cable to, like, a monitor I could play. So I sat on the couch for, like, an entire week of healing, playing Minecraft on a broken MacBook. And it honestly was so lit. And it was so funny because, like, one of my really close friends didn't know what surgery was at the time, and he thought I literally was dying. So he, like. He came over with, like, the craziest gift basket I've ever gotten in my life. Like, so much expensive shit. Like, he was literally, like, making a wish for me. It was like a make a wish basket. It was like. Because VAT 19 was, like, hot shitter at that time. And it was all the most exclusive VAT 19 cool shit.
- [39:20]
Kai
You got the big gummy worm?
- [39:22]
Humanzor
Yes, I got the. No, the gummy bear. And then later that week, when I could start walking again, we microwaved it and destroyed my mom's Tupperware. She was so pissed. But we microwaved and melted it down and made, like, a big, giant gummy. And then I went outside and found a dead snake and dissected it on the propane tank because I wanted to see the insides of it. And my parents were like, oh, my God. Like, is he okay?
- [39:46]
Drew Phillips
Like, actually, you don't. That doesn't sound good.
- [39:48]
Humanzor
Not on some serial killer. I just wanted to see the insides. I wanted to see.
- [39:52]
Drew Phillips
That is literally the start of every serial killer. I just want to see the inside.
- [39:56]
Humanzor
Well, I just wanted to see, like, its systems. It was more of, like, biology. More biology, less killer instinct.
- [40:05]
Drew Phillips
Okay.
- [40:08]
Humanzor
And then I found a cicada. That. That. There. There was actually controversy over this when I first started the Internet, but I found a dead cicada and I put it on my shoe and it was dead, and I lit it on fire. It was like, one photo of it on my shoe and the next photo of it on fire. And people were like, I can't believe you would kill a cicada for a bit. And I was like, it was already dead. And I was like, you need to chill the fuck out and see, that's why I'm a more spiritual being.
- [40:36]
Drew Phillips
Because you were setting bugs on fire when you were a kid.
- [40:40]
Humanzor
Now I don't kill bugs. There's still a spider in the hallway, because I will not let him die. I just haven't gotten around to getting.
- [40:47]
Drew Phillips
Him yet that I think he's dead.
- [40:49]
Humanzor
You think?
- [40:50]
Drew Phillips
I think he died in there because he's been in that cup for, like, four days. Are you gonna cry? That cannot be you crying. Oh, you swallowed it. I was gonna say something, but see, this is what happens when I don't interrupt people. Because now I don't know what I was gonna say because I was too busy listening. And that's why you shouldn't do that when you're in a conversation with somebody, because you just forget the things you want to say. You're supposed to prioritize. Says what you want to say. Not listening.
- [41:20]
Humanzor
It is so hard to have conversations with people nowadays.
- [41:22]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, Just nobody wants to let you interrupt them. Everybody.
- [41:26]
Humanzor
No one wants to work and no one wants to talk. Everybody wants to be on. Have you seen how kids play tag nowadays? They poke each other on Facebook. Have you seen that meme? They poke each other on Facebook? Yeah. Tag, poke your ass.
- [41:46]
Drew Phillips
Wow. I really. I have nothing to say.
- [41:51]
Humanzor
Oh, I got a lot to say. I was giving you your time to speak, but let me get back in the moment.
- [41:55]
Drew Phillips
I just forgot what I was going to say, so I don't have anything to say. I'm enjoying watching you talk.
- [42:02]
Humanzor
My brother saw me brushing my tongue when I was brushing my teeth, and he was like, that's gay. And I was like. I was like, what? He was being dead serious, too.
- [42:17]
Drew Phillips
Maybe, though, out him for being literally one of the dirtiest humans on the planet, because that's crazy to have never brushed your tongue.
- [42:25]
Humanzor
Yeah, I know. It was vile. And then I was like, oh, like you. Do you have a tongue scraper? I can give you a second one. And he was like, no, I don't want that. And then on top of that, Nikocado Avocado lives 30 minutes away from my hometown in this same town.
- [42:42]
Drew Phillips
Really?
- [42:47]
Humanzor
Oh, yes. I don't want to say it out loud because I want to make a documentary on him, but they live in the same hometown, and they're always going to Walmart down there. And, like, I never. I. I just can't stop coming. I really just can't stop coming. That's another one of those references that we say all the time that like.
- [43:04]
Drew Phillips
Like, no.
- [43:06]
Humanzor
No one knows.
- [43:07]
Drew Phillips
Like, the select few. Like, when we did the. Was that a good price or just whatever.
- [43:12]
Humanzor
Yeah, it's for y' all. I just can't stop coming. But I don't even. I think Josiah recorded that?
- [43:17]
Drew Phillips
No, Josiah is the one who has it. Cuz I remember I was explaining it. Someone had tried to show them, but I couldn't find it. And it was just from an ig story of his that he posted. And Josiah is just a freak and literally anything he finds funny, he saves it to his phone. I just don't do that anymore. I used to do that a lot as like a teenager. And then I stopped because I realized I would look through my camera roll and it would be like 8 million random things that I had no actual personal connection to.
- [43:41]
Humanzor
I'm so sad about my camera roll. I got r since that meme account. Like, it's like 17,000 screenshots and like three real photos. But I feed the people and people want to get mad at me. They want to get pissed at me when they're like, I'm the one. I'm always sending you memes, I'm always sending you videos. And I'm like, bitch, you follow my meme account with. With 4000 fucking posts that I have scoured the Internet and the earth.
- [44:08]
Drew Phillips
You say like, you don't use your iPhone 18 hours a day.
- [44:12]
Humanzor
It's a hard job that I do for free for people, and they don't fucking respect me for it.
- [44:16]
Drew Phillips
I do.
- [44:18]
Humanzor
You don't even like my shit anymore. Well, I. No one likes my shit anymore.
- [44:21]
Drew Phillips
I don't like anything on Instagram. It's actually really bad. Sometimes I'll go to a friend's page and I'll look through and I'm like, I haven't liked any of their posts for like seven months. And I was like, for some reason that feels really evil. And then I'll go through and like things, but then I'm like, now I just look like I'm like kissing ass and like trying to, like, get someone's attention. But it's literally like, like sometimes I go to Orion's page. I'm like.
- [44:42]
Humanzor
That's what I was gonna say. I was gonna say Orion as my.
- [44:47]
Drew Phillips
Like, who you like. Oh, hello. That scared me.
- [44:53]
Kai
That got me horny.
- [44:54]
Humanzor
Honestly, Kai, you have sigma eyebrows.
- [44:57]
Kai
Sigma.
- [44:57]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [44:58]
Kai
That's good, right?
- [44:59]
Humanzor
Yeah. Do the. Yeah, you can do it. Now do you purse your lips? Yeah, you can do it.
- [45:05]
Drew Phillips
Why can't you purse your lips and do that with your eyebrows at the same time?
- [45:08]
Kai
I am.
- [45:09]
Drew Phillips
You just. It's like, you had to really like.
- [45:11]
Kai
This look good though.
- [45:13]
Humanzor
Yeah, I just got a boner on screen.
- [45:16]
Kai
Really? I'll blur it. I'll put a one pixel by one pixel blur.
- [45:21]
Drew Phillips
I started that cuz it's small.
- [45:25]
Humanzor
More like a 200 by 200 pixel blur.
- [45:28]
Kai
So I don't think it would be.
- [45:29]
Humanzor
That I meant 200,000.
- [45:31]
Kai
Okay.
- [45:36]
Drew Phillips
Right.
- [45:36]
Humanzor
I need to get not a rhinoplasty, but not a nose job. Cuz this too much. The whistling out of my nose. I've become self aware too.
- [45:48]
Drew Phillips
You woke up this morning and said you felt a little sick and had a sore throat.
- [45:51]
Humanzor
No, no, this is to watch every single episode we've ever recorded. I remember on like the fourth episode someone commented, it was like, I love this podcast, but the nose whistling is too much and I can't watch it.
- [46:03]
Kai
I have heard every single episode, maybe at least twice and I've never noticed.
- [46:08]
Humanzor
Yeah, because you're immune to it. Because you see me every day. But go back, listen, you'll hear it. You don't have a whistle?
- [46:15]
Drew Phillips
No, I don't have that.
- [46:16]
Humanzor
I have a whistle. It's because I have a deviated septum.
- [46:19]
Drew Phillips
And I need my bunny. One of the like, like perfect specimens. Like a lot of people are like, wow, she's like healthy, gorgeous, big tits, awesome puss.
- [46:29]
Humanzor
Yeah. The ladder. Yeah, the two.
- [46:32]
Drew Phillips
The two last. But you don't think I'm perfect in other ways?
- [46:36]
Humanzor
No, your body is damn near perfect. But I think that about every woman. If you have a boobs and a vagina, you're perfect.
- [46:43]
Kai
Have eight boobs and a vagina.
- [46:46]
Humanzor
If you have a boobs and a vagina, you're perfect.
- [46:48]
Kai
I will say you guys both have really good noses.
- [46:51]
Drew Phillips
Thank you.
- [46:52]
Humanzor
Thank you.
- [46:53]
Drew Phillips
What?
- [46:53]
Humanzor
I'm insecure about my beak. Recently I just realized if I didn't have a big fucking face and a giant head, that I would have a giant nostril. Like a giant.
- [47:02]
Drew Phillips
That's literally every face. If you shrink down somebody's face, your nose would look.
- [47:06]
Humanzor
Yeah, but I just have an abnormally large face and head.
- [47:09]
Drew Phillips
No, your head is perfect for your body. Because I saw someone recently and I was like, damn, you have a big head head. But not someone in our friend group, it was somebody else. But I like was seeing them and I was like, oh my God, you got a big head. Wow.
- [47:21]
Humanzor
I'm gonna get a head reduction surgery.
- [47:23]
Drew Phillips
Can you do that?
- [47:24]
Humanzor
No.
- [47:24]
Drew Phillips
No. Because they would have to shave down your skull.
- [47:26]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [47:31]
Drew Phillips
When I was a kid, I accidentally made my brother break his nose. That's it. We were at the park and we were riding bikes and I didn't see him coming around the corner and I didn't Move. But he didn't know how to ride a bike. And I should have moved and like stopped, but I panicked and I just kept going. And then he veered off the path and hit his face into a tree and broke his nose.
- [47:54]
Kai
Oh no.
- [47:55]
Humanzor
Yeah, yeah, well your brother's a fucking pussy. Because if that were me in that tree squaring up the trees nose would have been fucking bleeding and broken.
- [48:02]
Drew Phillips
I don't think you'd know what a tree is.
- [48:06]
Humanzor
I'm looking at that of you right now. Okay, so I know what it's.
- [48:10]
Drew Phillips
You're showing signs.
- [48:11]
Humanzor
I'm not stupid. I just.
- [48:13]
Drew Phillips
Sometimes I can't tell if you're in this reality or if you like know who you are.
- [48:17]
Humanzor
It's crazy how people think I'm stupid.
- [48:20]
Drew Phillips
No, no, no one said that. I just don't think you know, you're a person.
- [48:23]
Humanzor
I'm not stupid. Holy.
- [48:28]
Kai
You didn't say that, dude.
- [48:30]
Humanzor
Oh my God.
- [48:31]
Kai
You need to chill out.
- [48:32]
Humanzor
I was accepted in the NASA Space camp.
- [48:35]
Drew Phillips
Shut up. Like I was that being something you wrote down.
- [48:40]
Humanzor
I actually didn't write it down. I saw something that looked like NASA and that came into my brain. I saw ASL and thought of NASA.
- [48:47]
Drew Phillips
Why?
- [48:48]
Humanzor
Because it's an acronym. They look like the same ASL and NASA. Yeah, like NASA's always all capitalized. It was three capital letters.
- [48:57]
Kai
That's the only thing.
- [48:57]
Humanzor
Oh, sorry. My brain makes insane connections that y' all cannot comprehend because it's so massive and then there's so much space in there that it's become.
- [49:06]
Drew Phillips
That's what I'm going to say to my kid when they inevitably come out, like really stupid.
- [49:12]
Humanzor
You're going to call your gay child stupid?
- [49:20]
Drew Phillips
Not for being gay, but just because they're stupid. Just how like I call you stupid not because you're gay, but because you're stupid.
- [49:28]
Kai
What do you mean he's gay?
- [49:29]
Humanzor
Let's get one thing gay. I'm straight.
- [49:44]
Drew Phillips
I like like that about you. I really like that about you.
- [49:52]
Humanzor
That I'm a straight masculine.
- [49:54]
Drew Phillips
And you're not afraid to put your foot down and talk over people and make them feel like nothing.
- [49:59]
Humanzor
See, when I start exuding masculine energy, Kai cannot look at at me. He has to look away when I look at him.
- [50:05]
Kai
Dude, I see you.
- [50:08]
Humanzor
See you too. You too.
- [50:10]
Drew Phillips
Well, that's cuz you make me nervous. Cuz like what we just did reminded me of how good our sex life is.
- [50:16]
Humanzor
Used to be you're not putting out anymore.
- [50:20]
Drew Phillips
Well, that's because I'm on my period and you said you hate when I'm on my period.
- [50:23]
Humanzor
Yeah, because periods are nasty and stinky.
- [50:26]
Drew Phillips
I see. I told you. That's what you always say to me. You're like, put a cork in that damn hole. It stinks and it reeks. Like, you always say that to me.
- [50:35]
Humanzor
And it changes her pad in my bathroom. It smells like dog surgery.
- [50:42]
Drew Phillips
Dog surgery is crazy. I used to. My parents, I. I think this is like a common thing that's told to you. My parents used to not let me eat eggs when I was on my period because, like, I don't know if this is just a Latin thing, cuz they still do it with my little siblings things, but it's like, you can't have eggs on your period because it makes your period stink more. I've never done that in my adult life and eggs don't make a difference.
- [51:09]
Humanzor
Did you look into that period, like, not working out on your period stuff? Because that was actually really. I was like, really?
- [51:15]
Drew Phillips
Oh, I'm gonna look into it. But it fully is a thing. Like, I've looked it up just. And like basic Google searches. It's like, yeah, you shouldn't be doing like super intense workouts when you're on your period period because it's basically like you're overworking for nothing.
- [51:29]
Humanzor
I wonder.
- [51:30]
Drew Phillips
Your period is going to affect the way your body is, like, handling, like, muscle memory. And like, it's. You're basically doing nothing for nothing. And you're gonna make your period more harmful or like, you're gonna hurt yourself. Like, if you're somebody who gets cramps, you're probably just gonna give yourself more.
- [51:48]
Humanzor
I saw a tick tock about like a really. Like, this girl was like, I'm a health freak and these are like my habits. And like the very last slide was like, was that the one?
- [51:56]
Drew Phillips
No, that was the one. Because that was the girl who was like, oh, I do yoga every day and night and then on my period I do like different workouts.
- [52:03]
Kai
Yeah, well. And yeah, if you're like on your period and you have to lift something, just hit me or drew up.
- [52:08]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, I just like how y' all were so quick to open that up when you got scared. Yeah, I'm sure you're gonna listen.
- [52:12]
Kai
My hand was shaking, dude.
- [52:14]
Drew Phillips
I know. You literally went like this.
- [52:15]
Humanzor
You're like, how do we know there's not a critter up there? And it just knocked it over.
- [52:18]
Drew Phillips
So what, y' all never had rats? I had rats as a kid. Not Rats. But, like, there was, like, an era in my childhood home where there was always mice because they had through the netting of all the windows, and then, like, would just get inside, and it was so annoying. And I remember, like, as a kid, like, sneaking around to get snacks. They were sneaking around, too.
- [52:39]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [52:40]
Drew Phillips
So we were literally fighting for the floor.
- [52:42]
Humanzor
The crumbs together.
- [52:43]
Drew Phillips
We were fighting for the floor in the kitchen. And they would always win because I would get so scared.
- [52:46]
Humanzor
We would get mice because our cats would, like, go hunting in the backyard. Because before our cats were inside cats, they were inside outside cats. And we had, like, a cat door installed. And they would run inside, they would go outside, catch a rat, come inside, and drop it off in our house, like a gift. Like, thank you for taking care of me. Like, you're so fucking stupid. You can't hunt for yourself. So here's a mouse that I caught for you. But they wouldn't kill it because they want us to kill it it and eat it. And then the mice would just run around and breed in our home.
- [53:13]
Drew Phillips
It's up. I wish I had an outdoor cat. Azul would never do that. Also, I mentioned Azul in the last episode, and I realized some people don't know that I have a cat named Azul. And I saw a comment that was like, who the is Azul? Like, I didn't.
- [53:26]
Humanzor
And why are they holding this human cap?
- [53:28]
Drew Phillips
Yeah, that's. They were literally like, oh. I thought, like, she was talking about holding a human until she said that it pissed all over her. And I was like, whoa. Like, you're not gonna touch on that. And then they realized it was a cat. But that's my cat.
- [53:38]
Humanzor
I'm gonna touch on that.
- [53:46]
Drew Phillips
You don't know where that is. We've talked about this. It's, like, a big problem.
- [53:49]
Humanzor
It's. I just said it because, like, that's what people say. But me and Kai both agree that that's a myth.
- [53:56]
Drew Phillips
I'm just confused, because there's a weird thing where y' all say, like, y' all act like you, like, respect women.
- [54:01]
Humanzor
That is us expecting women.
- [54:03]
Drew Phillips
Expecting women.
- [54:04]
Humanzor
That is us expecting women.
- [54:05]
Kai
We do respect women, but we also are, like, calling out the.
- [54:11]
Humanzor
We see it how it is, but.
- [54:13]
Drew Phillips
You don't listen to women who say that. That's, like, real.
- [54:15]
Kai
But, I mean, you don't know. You don't know what you're talking about.
- [54:18]
Drew Phillips
Oh, okay.
- [54:19]
Kai
Like, we've done a lot of research.
- [54:21]
Humanzor
Let the men do the logical thinking, babe.
- [54:25]
Kai
Let the men do the myth.
- [54:27]
Drew Phillips
Busting it is hurting. Like, my head hurts. Hurts just even from that, like, short conversation.
- [54:32]
Humanzor
But, yeah, like, that's kind of life and, like, what's been going on? And, like, we're kind of just, like, figuring her out, like, as we go.
- [54:38]
Drew Phillips
I'm gonna finger you out.
- [54:40]
Humanzor
I'm fingering it out.
- [54:45]
Drew Phillips
All right, well, should we get into the media? I watched this movie, Working Girls, and I actually really liked it, even though it literally took three days. I was about to say, but it only took three days to watch because I started with Drew, and then Drew fell asleep, and then I was like, like, okay, like, I'm gonna pause it and, like, finish it with him. And I was like, do you want to finish this movie? And he was like, no. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I, like, picked it back up when we were with our friends, because I was like, I'm just gonna play this while we, like, figure out what we're gonna watch. And then everybody very obviously didn't want to finish, and I was like, okay, I'll change it. And then I changed it, and then I had to finish it alone. But it actually was really good, and that's my story. So you. And then my musical. My musical media of the week is actually. I'm gonna ask. Put the.
- [55:27]
Humanzor
This.
- [55:27]
Drew Phillips
I like this song, but I need somebody to tell me what this song sounds like. It's just a girl by the Pale Fountains. For some reason, it sounds like a Christmas song to me, but, like, a Latin Christmas song, but I can't think of it. And, like, maybe it doesn't sound like one, and I'm just, like, tripping and it sounds like something else, but tell me if it does. But I also do like that song, and I think it sounds very good. Tricking at a stream. I think I already said that.
- [55:53]
Humanzor
Actually.
- [55:54]
Drew Phillips
I've already said the do Feels thing. Run to Me by Candy Satin. Wait, I already said that, too. Wow. I've been listening to the same as last week, so I don't think I have any.
- [56:07]
Humanzor
You've also just been on such, like, an 80s tip in general, like, fashion. Like, in the last, like, week and a half that I've been with you, it's been, like, only 80s content you've been consuming.
- [56:17]
Drew Phillips
I love the 80s. I've always had an affinity for the 80s, because when I was growing up, my parents, like, really, really with the 80s, so I listened to a lot of music from the 80s, but I've been on a big tip of that. And then, like, if I'M not listening to anything like that. That I've already said that. I'm literally listening to Ice by still. Like I'm. I'm just not like I. I'm in a perpetual loop.
- [56:39]
Humanzor
My media is banking with Wick. Shawnee Bin Laden. I've been listening to a lot of Shawnee Bin Laden. He's really cool. And then I should have been looking. Bass Down Low by Dev I like my beats fast and my bass down low. Also. I have been wanting to make. Make music like Crystal Castle since the first time I've heard them. What's the guy's name? Him?
- [57:24]
Kai
The bad guy?
- [57:25]
Humanzor
Yeah.
- [57:26]
Kai
I don't know. But yeah, the canceled guy.
- [57:28]
Humanzor
Yeah. Just want to make that very clear. He sucks balls. But their music is so good. Their music is awesome. And then I think that he didn't.
- [57:38]
Kai
Even make the music. The guy that got canceled, he was.
- [57:42]
Humanzor
Just an evil entity.
- [57:43]
Kai
I think his brother or something made the music.
- [57:45]
Drew Phillips
That's so crazy.
- [57:47]
Kai
And he was just like the face.
- [57:50]
Humanzor
Yeah, that is crazy. Gretel by Alex G. Kind of been liking recently. You showed me that song Kai and then. Oh, this is the one. Thinking of you. Thinking of me. Bogdan. I can't say his last name, but you'll find it if you look it up. Up.
- [58:13]
Kai
Rosinski.
- [58:14]
Humanzor
Yeah. That person is amazing. Love their music.
- [58:21]
Drew Phillips
I want to go to a record store. That's all. That's it. That's what I was going to say.
- [58:25]
Humanzor
Thank you.
- [58:26]
Drew Phillips
You're welcome.
- [58:26]
Humanzor
I'd be down. I want to go to back to CD store. But I have a list of not amoeba but like. Yeah, something. Something a little different. Maybe even amoeba. But I have like a list of like 200 albums that I want to collect on CD before like like the end of the year. Which like that is so unrealistic because that is so much money and I won't do that.
- [58:46]
Drew Phillips
But if they're like older albums but not super. If they're not all super cutty CDs are really cheap. That's like the only reason I really started my collection is because unless you're looking into like soundtracks or like really like specific albums, they're usually easily like accessible. We need to go to book off off. Cuz that's where you're going to get CDs for a $150 a CD. Wow.
- [59:12]
Humanzor
Blowing up the spot. That book off gas lit.
- [59:18]
Drew Phillips
Kai's trying to start a fire in our house.
- [59:20]
Humanzor
He just played Turn up the Propane. Does he have a lighter right now. Kai, don't light that.
- [59:27]
Drew Phillips
Don't.
- [59:27]
Humanzor
Don't light that.
- [59:28]
Drew Phillips
Not even as a Sam.