Drew comes out as straight with Barbie Ferreira

Summary

Emergency Intercom Episode Summary: "Drew Comes Out as Straight with Barbie Ferreira"

Release Date: June 2, 2023

Hosts: Enya Umanzor (C) and Drew Phillips (D)

Guest: Barbie Ferreira

---

1. Relationship Dynamics and Drew’s Revelation

The episode kicks off with Drew revealing a significant personal update. He comes out as straight, surprising both hosts and listeners alike.

• Drew (00:45): "Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Okay, are you guys going to say something or."

• Enya (C) (01:40): "And my girlfriend was my first girl kiss, and we've been dating for a while."

Drew discusses the early stages of his newfound straight relationship with Barbie Ferreira, highlighting the initial disbelief from others regarding Enya’s first same-sex kiss.

• Barbie Ferreira (C) (01:20): "I have to, like, perch on the edge."

2. Astrology and Compatibility

The conversation delves into astrology, with the hosts discussing their zodiac signs and questioning the compatibility between Pisces and Sagittarius.

• Barbie (C) (02:03): "We're making it work. We're making it work."

• Drew (03:02): "If you could help him be like, attack him if you want. It would be easy."

They humorously debate whether their astrological signs support their relationship, ultimately embracing the idea that their compatibility transcends traditional astrological expectations.

3. Frustrations with Automatic Gym Charges

A significant portion of the discussion focuses on the hosts' grievances with automatic billing practices, particularly with their experiences at Equinox gyms.

• Enya (C) (05:30): "I emailed them 36,000 times to refund me."

• Drew (06:39): "They literally take money from me every month."

Drew and Enya share their struggles with unauthorized charges and poor customer service, emphasizing the frustration of being locked into memberships without adequate support.

4. Navigating Straight-LGBTQ Dynamics

Drew addresses the challenges of being the only straight person in a predominantly LGBTQ environment, expressing feelings of alienation.

• Drew (42:24): "Being straight is easy."

• Barbie (C) (45:00): "We don't have the same goals."

The hosts explore the nuances of their straight status within their community, touching upon themes of identity, acceptance, and the pressures of conforming to societal expectations.

5. Personal Red Flags and Relationship Insights

Enya and Barbie candidly discuss their personal red flags in relationships, offering a humorous yet honest look into their vulnerabilities.

• Barbie (C) (30:14): "I'm a cleaning person. Like, I just like, I could tell."

• Drew (67:43): "So that's my other red flag. I will get attention if I don't get it."

They highlight traits such as the need for constant attention, messy habits, and challenges with communication, providing listeners with relatable anecdotes and laughter.

6. Media Consumption and Cultural References

The hosts share their favorite media picks, reflecting on their tastes and the impact of media on their lives.

• Enya (C) (89:07): "Things In Life by Dennis Brown. Blue Moon by Elvis Presley."

• Drew (93:07): "I've been watching the other two. Fantastic. The new season. So fun."

They discuss a range of topics from music to television, including mentions of popular shows like "Succession" and "SpongeBob," illustrating their diverse interests and the role of media in their conversations.

7. Prank Calling and Social Interactions

Towards the end of the episode, Drew and Barbie reminisce about their experiences with prank calling, sharing funny and memorable moments.

• Barbie (C) (91:54): "She was like, yeah, you know what? This is even better because we're gonna, like, overcome it."

• Drew (92:56): "We need to go public with your pseudo relationship."

Their lighthearted banter showcases the camaraderie between the hosts, adding a playful element to the episode.

8. Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

As the conversation winds down, the hosts reflect on their relationship and consider future endeavors, hinting at ongoing personal growth and shared experiences.

• Drew (77:44): "Elsewhere, I feel like I'm going through like a quarter life crisis."

• Enya (C) (84:54): "It's giving like, what's the point like to like if you're not Starbucks nitro."

They conclude with plans to celebrate their week anniversary at Universal Florida, blending humor with real-life relationship milestones.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Enya (C) (03:02): "Women need to dig into being selfish villains, evil scammers. We need more women who are scamming."

• Drew (08:33): "The Gay Agenda location is horrifying, and y'all are pushing it on to me."

• Barbie (C) (77:28): "We have Drake. That it, like, really is like, oh."

• Drew (84:45): "We need to edit you. Like, with crazy film grain and like shadows."

---

Conclusion

In this engaging episode of "Emergency Intercom," Drew's coming out as straight sparks a series of heartfelt and humorous discussions about relationships, identity, and personal challenges. Enya and Barbie bring their unique perspectives to the table, offering listeners a blend of comedy, honesty, and relatable anecdotes. From grappling with automatic gym charges to navigating the complexities of their straight-LGBTQ dynamics, the hosts provide a candid look into their lives, all while maintaining a lighthearted and entertaining tone.

Whether you're a long-time listener or tuning in for the first time, this episode delivers a rich tapestry of conversations that are both insightful and amusing, making "Emergency Intercom" a must-listen for anyone seeking laughter and genuine connections.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Okay, are you guys going to say something or.

[C]

Hey, we're here with my girlfriend.

[D]

Yeah. My boyfriend.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I feel like I'm being pushed over to the side for something, like.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, like, kind of. Okay, you don't have to do that.

[D]

No, that's.

[C]

I mean, that's not okay.

[Drew]

I mean, she was just trying to make me feel, like, better because you guys are, like, really?

[D]

We're like, really. I just want to address the fact that this chair seems very uncomfortable.

[C]

It isn't, though, so.

[D]

It isn't?

[C]

No, I actually love it. It's. I've molded it to my body.

[Drew]

You, without fail, sit like that on.

[C]

Yeah, I have to. I have to, like, perch on the edge. Like I was saying, I love. Okay. So about, like, four months ago, right, I came on the podcast and said I had my first girl kiss, and I kissed a girl, and everyone was like, who was it?

[Drew]

And everyone was like, you're lying.

[C]

Yeah. No one believed me.

[D]

There's no one. But I'm here to confirm it's true.

[C]

Yeah. And my girlfriend was my first girl kiss, and we've been dating for a while.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, you guys are dating now?

[D]

Yeah, it's getting really serious.

[C]

It's been, like, what, three days?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'd say, like, three nights.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, okay. So it's, like, literally. I mean, you can't really say you're dating yet, then. Like, it's only been three nights.

[D]

I mean, we're, like, pretty much in. I mean, I. I tend to be a lesbian, so this is kind of like the, like.

[Drew]

Yeah. I mean, that's.

[D]

Basically.

[Drew]

Both of you aren't, like.

[C]

Like, I'm written by a woman. No, no.

[Drew]

I'm sorry.

[D]

What are we.

[C]

I'm written by a woman, and that's. I exude this, like, energy that.

[D]

It's actually very true.

[C]

Yeah. That, like, women love me. So I, like, made it happen.

[Drew]

You guys just, like, made it work for each other.

[D]

You manifested Me.

[C]

Exactly. Manifested you.

[D]

Wait, what's your sign again?

[C]

Pisces.

[D]

Pisces. Okay, cool.

[C]

Pisces. Gemini.

[Drew]

In any world, would a Pisces and a Sag even, like, get along for dating?

[D]

Why not?

[C]

Yeah, we're making it work. We're making it work.

[D]

You guys are, like, bending rules because we're 100 compatible. So that's what I mean.

[C]

Exactly. Every. Every morning I check my horoscope. It literally just says Barbie. Over and over.

[Drew]

It says Barbie Heart. Yeah, no, Barbie every morning checks up on her tarot card readers.

[D]

I do. I love them.

[Drew]

If you.

[D]

I got one today, and it was like, if you got this on your for you page, there is someone thinking about you. And I was in. I was in.

[C]

It was me.

[D]

And it was.

[C]

It was me thinking, I guess someone.

[Drew]

Was thinking about you. But, like, it probably meant, like, a lover. And I don't know if Drew's like.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like you're not believing us.

[Drew]

You know, I just don't. I know. I don't feel it. It feels very like. It kind of feels like you're holding her hand hostage.

[C]

Like, should we show her?

[D]

We should show her.

[Drew]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[D]

I have a lip oil. I got a lip oil from an Instagram ad, which I have been very much buying a lot of things from Instagram.

[C]

My lips are dyed.

[D]

My lips just like an Instagram ad.

[C]

Lip oil tastes good. Tastes delicious. So, yeah, that's the proof.

[Drew]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, when y' all kissed, he did say, sit in the. Probably the most uncomfortable position I've ever seen him in.

[D]

As men should.

[C]

Yeah, like.

[Drew]

Like, he just didn't, like. I don't know.

[D]

Men should be more uncomfortable. We were just talking about that.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, they fully should. So maybe y' all should kiss more because he'll be uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't think he. I mean, we can move past the fake relationship, because I. I get it's real, but.

[D]

It's real. But we don't have to, like, we don't talk about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I mean, this whole thing is going to be like, me watching y' all, like, date. Cuz like, at that point, like, why.

[C]

From now on, we'll move on liter.

[D]

From now on.

[Drew]

You're like, get used to it.

[D]

Get used to it.

[Drew]

I used to make fun of all the IG ads and be like, why are they showing me this? I won't buy it. But it's insane if somebody especially like a story ad. If I see a story ad enough, I. There have been times where I, like, see one and then skip it. And then I'm like, oh, like, trying to get back to it because I'm like, I'm going to buy it. I'm going to buy it. Where is it? And then I can't get it again.

[D]

I recently bought a silky pajama set from an unnamed Texas, like, sorority girl. And I tried to return it because it did not fit and it was mislabeled. And I DM them, like, four times for a refund, and they just refused to answer me.

[C]

So, wow.

[D]

Maybe I'll just come out and say it. They're your biggest name because it was from an Instagram ad.

[C]

So I was just.

[Drew]

It was the most random thing you've.

[D]

Ever bought in your life. So random. And I felt like I bought these, like, silky pajamas and, like, furry. Like, I was like, yes. And they come in. It's like, this big. I'm like, oh, well, it doesn't really. No. And then I try to DM them. I got an email. Nothing. Get it together.

[Drew]

Okay, Getting to the point where you're.

[C]

Sending an email me to Equinox. I had to email them 36,000 times because they stole $700 from me. Over. Done. I, like, had a trainer for, like, a year because I needed, like, financial motivation to go. I literally don't even remember his name anymore. Like, literally, my biggest problem played football.

[Drew]

In school and was tackled 8 million times. Like, he was like, definitely. His head was.

[D]

Which Equinox was this?

[C]

The gay one? Basically, I had, like, a bunch of training sessions left over, and I told them several times. I was like, please don't book me more sessions because I'm just, like, done. Like, I feel like I know how to work out on my own. Like, whatever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, like, come time to the end of, like, our last. Like, you have to buy them in sets and come to the end of the last set that I bought, I was like, okay, cool. Like, I'm free. Well, I checked my account the next day, and he charged me for eight more sessions. And I was like, oh, this is crazy. I don't remember booking these and I don't remember going to one of these. Like, because you buy a package, you have to buy a package. And I was like, yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

I was like, literally, how I've been. I have been giving Savage x Fenty $50 for four years because I never turned off my VIP and you have to do a whole thing to turn it off. So they literally take money from me every month. And I have not bought, bought, like, anything from them for, like, three years.

[D]

Wait, how much is it?

[Drew]

It's like 50 or something.

[D]

Maybe.

[Drew]

Maybe it's less.

[C]

Do they send you, like, a package every month?

[D]

No, it's a Costco.

[C]

Are you fucking kidding me? A membership that is actually bat crazy.

[Drew]

He does the same thing. Because of our first apartment, I never returned the router. So they charge me, like, $10 every month until I finish paying off this.

[D]

Yeah, I was set up in New York. I never returned shit. Literally, it took me, like, until two years ago to get a credit card because of all, like, the misgivings of me at 18 in New York, like, never returning a router, never, like, paying my bills. Like, you know, and I had to fix it. And it was. It was a lot.

[Drew]

But I know that's, like, the thing every adult, like, real adult warned you about. They're like, if you up your credit, your life's gonna be living.

[C]

And I still believe it to this day. I'm like, I do not want a credit card. I never want to use a credit card. Like, they're gonna get me. But to finish that story, basically, he charged me for these seven sessions or eight sessions. I did one of them on accident, and then he quit. And then there were no. There was no one to do the rest of the sessions with. So I was just like, Sol. And I emailed them 36,000 times to refund me. I'm not joking. Like, I emailed them, like, 20 times over the course of, like, four days, and they never got back to me. And, like, I guess they won in the end because they still fudgeing. Go. But, like, I literally want to cancel my membership so bad out of spite.

[D]

So much money.

[C]

It's disgusting.

[D]

Why can't they just do a little.

[C]

Refund, give me my money back? And they were like, in the fine, fine print, it says no refunds. And I was like, okay. Like, watch me blow this spot up.

[Drew]

You should just start peeing in random corners of the locker room. Actually, no, because it already happened.

[C]

They do, Yeah.

[Drew]

I definitely.

[C]

They jizz in random corners of the locker room. It's nasty vibes.

[Drew]

You're like, I need to go there.

[D]

I've been to Equinox once, and I had a panic attack. I, like, it's too much going on. But it was the Soho one. It was a bit too much going on in there. I was like, in a yoga class. I literally walked out. I was like, the energy here is, like, literally freaky.

[C]

It's really Dark.

[Drew]

I go. We go at such specific times, and we plan it around, like, normal people's work. So I'm like, we have to go when there's absolutely no one there.

[D]

It's like 11:00am or something.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Either super early or super late when they keep repeating when everything closes. Like, that's the vibe that needs to be happening, is the music is barely playing. And they're like, we're closing in 10 minutes. We're closing in five minutes. We're closed. Get out.

[C]

Literally.

[D]

I love that you can't pay me to go to Equinox, but, I mean, it's a great gym. Is scary. It's like, I just feel like I'm gonna walk in and there's people just, like, I don't even know. I, I. It's definitely a movie of some sorts in there for me. But I go to the tiny gay gym. I'm not gonna reveal.

[C]

So the Gay Agenda location so everybody.

[D]

Can, like, pull up. No, but it's fun. It's like there's literally no one there, and that's how I prefer it. Except for me and my trainer shots.

[C]

I have to say something. The Gay Agenda is horrifying, and y' all. Y' all are pushing it on to me, and I'm done. Like, everyone's wishing me a happy pride month and all this shit. That's just not me. That's not the person I am.

[Drew]

I mean, I. I mean, I guess. Yeah, you did change him.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. You turned out. You turned me out.

[D]

I did.

[Drew]

You guys. You guys are helping each. You guys are helping each other find the. The righteous path. That's what's happening. Y' we are together.

[D]

We're, like, leaning into God.

[C]

Exactly. See, I've been saying I'm gonna have my Christian arc, and you turn me out. Yeah.

[Drew]

You're guiding me down like a summer camp, but for only straight people.

[D]

I agree. So, like, everything.

[C]

Yeah. Maybe not billions. Yeah, let's do it. But, yeah, I'm just kind of. I have my notes written down, and I have. In your abortion encounter. And I've been saving this for so long.

[D]

Is that okay?

[C]

So in your has this lip tint that she puts on her lip.

[Drew]

You've probably seen it if you're, like, on your, like, getting targeted. It's like the. The one that you put on, and it, like, fully peels off.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Is it the type of the typology? I feel like I am literally sponsored by this.

[Drew]

It's not earlier. It's like, it's like Say Seychelles or, like, some. I don't know that. I don't know how to pronounce it. People have to, like, call, like, Billy or something, so I could, like, start saying names, right? Because, like, yeah, I don't know what.

[C]

Name it is, but, yeah. So she has it on there, and then instead of peeling it off and throwing it in the trash can or in the toilet and flushing it, she peels it off and flicks it on the counter, and it just sits there, and it literally looks like a congealed mass of, like, blood.

[D]

Oh, I love it.

[Drew]

I mean, I did good today. Yeah. I knew you were coming, so I, like, scraped it out of the sink because I was like, I don't want her to think that I empty my diva cup in here. And it's just, like.

[D]

I actually would love that. I would love to.

[Drew]

Just leaving my diva cup out.

[D]

Yeah, I did.

[Drew]

This is, like, so gross. And I hate that, like, this is where this conversation is heading right now. But I did have what I believe to be a minor miscarriage in the toilet because, yes, something came out of my flow that was, oh, I don't want to touch you.

[C]

Oh, because you're jealous.

[Drew]

Yeah. I mean, I'm just respecting Barbie's property, so I'm not gonna, like, touch property.

[C]

Hold on.

[D]

Yeah, let's unpack that. Y. I agree.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, you're. You're her property now. That's just the way that works.

[C]

Don't own anybody, and no one owns you.

[Drew]

I mean, she owns you. You don't own anybody because she owns you.

[D]

So, like, he chose it. He chose it.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Yeah. You chose that life.

[C]

I guess. I guess.

[Drew]

But I had something that was so odd come out of my flow that I almost called Drew into the bathroom to look at it.

[C]

You should have. So fascinated by period.

[Drew]

It was just too much. But it was really, really gross. And I was like, damn. And then yesterday, actually, I, like, ran out of the bathroom to grab an edible, like, in the middle of, like, getting ready to use the shower, and I didn't flush the toilet. And I was so scared you were going to go in and see, like, the massacre in the toilet, but maybe.

[D]

I feel like you love that shit. No.

[C]

Yeah. No, it's beautiful.

[D]

I love mine.

[C]

I love, like, I just.

[D]

Playing with the diva cup.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[C]

She can't empty her diva cup without me in the room.

[Drew]

Like, I mean, it's good because then it's always clean when you need to get to it because you just, like, cleans it right Up.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Famous three nights has been really illuminating. And Drew in Yalls relationship, I guess.

[Drew]

Yeah. Y' all have learned a lot in three days.

[C]

Famously famous.

[Drew]

I.

[C]

That is literally the. My most favorite thing that you say is famously. Like, I'm literally gonna steal it and make it my.

[D]

Well, z. Way. Oh, Chad. She says it at her show. I can't take credit for it. But she famously is infamously, too, you know, my new vibe, because I'm on my, like, villain arc.

[C]

You're in your villain arc?

[D]

I really am. So then I look at myself, and I'm like, what have I become? You know, And.

[Drew]

But that's good. Yeah, I think that's a good place for women to be, but. Because I've talked about that on the podcast. Like, women needs to dig into being selfish villains, evil scammers. We need more women who are scamming.

[D]

We do need more women who are scamming.

[C]

Wait, that actually.

[D]

And I'm the one to be scammed.

[C]

Oh, literally.

[Drew]

Well, also, do you. I was watching Yesterday the Cut, and, like, it was so weird. They somehow put in. They were talking to, like, old people and, like, asking them about them being scanned. Scammed. Do y' all think when you're older, you'll be hella scammed?

[C]

When I'm older, I will be scammed. There will be. There will be, like, some super futuristic, like, crazy, like, scam that I fall for.

[D]

Oh, you know what happened the other day? That's not a scam. I was at dinner, and I started getting all these calls from, like, random area codes, like, from New York, right? And then I answer one, and they're like, come over. And I'm like, what is this? And then I get these texts that are like. I forgot what the word was. It was like, inbound or outbound. Someone put my number on, like, an escort ad. So I got, like, over a course of an hour, I got, like, 20 calls being like, yo, where are you?

[C]

Wait, but they were, like, obsessed with you, though.

[D]

No, but I don't know.

[Drew]

I have no idea. Yeah.

[D]

Or it was like, because my area code is, like, from New York. Maybe it was, like, an accident. Like, they put, like, a digit off. Yeah, because it did stop after an hour. Like, the. And they were like, it's from your ad that you posted. I'm like, what ad?

[Drew]

Fudge. I wish we could find the ad to see where would be advertised.

[D]

It was a lot. And it was, like, in the middle of the night, and it was like, people like, it was, like, Bronx, like, uptown. Like, it was, like, literally, like, they're like, I'm in Washington Heights, and I'm like, what? Like, I'm literally, like, I'm, like, at dinner.

[Drew]

Like.

[D]

Like, I'm, like, backtracking everything. I'm like, where is this? I'm putting my number on. Like, it's just. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So I've been very good about, like, being able to tell what's, like, a scam call versus, like, a real call. And I still, like. I thought I was good about it, but I still answer them. And they do ask for my Social Security number all the time. But even with, like, someone, like, in my personal life, I will be like, I'm not texting it to you. I'm not like, who is asking you.

[D]

For your Social Security?

[C]

Just, like, I think.

[Drew]

I literally think I've asked. Yeah.

[C]

I don't like texting, and I don't like saying it over the phone.

[Drew]

Okay. Why won't you just text it to me?

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Because I am the opposite. I'm like, what? Like, I literally will just, like, key. I. I am so bad with keeping track of it, but I think the difference is I haven't had my stolen, and he's literally had his whole, like, life stolen.

[C]

They literally drained my bank accounts in a crazy way. Was, like, 18. I. So long story short, I think I've told it already. I don't know if I have. But, like, the Universal. When I went to Universal, I tried to sneak alcohol in. They, like, I was, like, 17, and they were like, this is not okay. And they took me to, like, this back room with, like, security guards. Yeah, dude.

[Drew]

And it was a. Like, she.

[C]

She was evil.

[Drew]

She was a real officer. So bad. You were working the security line at Universal, right?

[C]

Tiny man syndrome, where it's like, the big man that works out a bunch because they, like, are so small. Like, Napoleon complex. But, like, in a woman.

[Drew]

But because she was like this. Because I was like, this isn't grapefruit.

[C]

No, I said. I. I said, oh, it's. I. I said, it's a raspberry water. And they were like. One guy was like, oh, okay, yeah, you can go. But, like, you can't bring that in. And then she was like, stop. And, like, she was like, let me smell. And she was like, this is raspberry vodka. And I was like, okay.

[Drew]

Alcoholic.

[C]

Why do you know that?

[Drew]

Yeah, why do you know?

[C]

It's literally crazy care. I don't know. I. And it was closed down, too. It was just it was a part.

[Drew]

Of, like, do you remember, like, playlists? Like, like, it was like a convention for YouTubers and they would close that down so that it's live. Yeah. So that YouTubers could go to Universal. So it was one of those nights.

[D]

So I think that's the worst thing that happening that day, honey.

[Drew]

Yeah, I, I literally. That's not the worst thing, entering the park.

[C]

The craziest thing is Enya and my twin sister Madeline both had alcohol on them and. And they got to go through, but they stopped me because I took it off my waist.

[Drew]

I was serving 16 and I was.

[C]

Giving sexy hot too, but in like, a different way.

[Drew]

Like, I mean.

[C]

Yeah, but so they took me to Universal Gel and they took out the oldest fucking phone iPhone I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, it was old even then. Like, it was insane and tiny. And they, like, took pictures of me in front of a blue wall and made me turn in my.

[D]

Is it like in the Universal backlog?

[C]

I don't know. Because I want those photos so bad.

[D]

Sure.

[Drew]

It was like, up on the wall for like a year because he would. You were banned for a year. Like, he wasn't allowed to go.

[C]

And they were like, even if you step foot in this parking lot, you're going to jail. And I was like, okay, relax. Like, this is insane. But basically they put me back on the bus to, like, go home. And I'm sitting on this bus and like, I was on there for like 15 minutes, and she was just waiting to see if, like, anybody else would, like, hop on. And she had to charter me alone on this big ass, like, public bus all the way back to the hotel. And I get there and I get to my room and I'm like, I try to, like, find my car, my key card, and I'm like, oh, my God, I don't have my wallet. So I call the bus company and they're like, oh, we don't have your wallet either. And then I call the universe and I'm like, oh, I must have just left it in, like, this scanner. They must have, like, taken it.

[Drew]

We're taking that.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. They all denied it fully. And I was like, dude, like, how am I gonna get home? Because I'm in Florida and so. And I also had my Social Security card in there and I was like, florida Universal? Yes, exactly.

[D]

Okay, it's different.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

So you had your stolen for scamming.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

I sold it.

[C]

The Universal people drain my bank account. Oh, yeah. Literally. Wait, the common denominator Common denominator is Enya in Florida.

[D]

Absolutely. It is Florida in general.

[Drew]

I mean, if you look back at my videos, I did always have a lot of expensive makeup.

[D]

And it was from the wallet that.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was because I stole yalls wallets and I sold your information.

[D]

I have no money in that. In that debit card. It was like a negative 200. I'm like, good luck.

[Drew]

Yeah, have fun.

[D]

Have fun.

[C]

More money in, please.

[Drew]

Yeah, I haven't had anything like that happen to me, so I've just been lucky and brave. And that leads me to my next question is do y' all think you would. Because I just watched this TikTok of these, like, girls saying how they were trying to help somebody who was drunk in a lobby of a hotel. This older woman, and that they just approached her really wrong and they were like, we're gonna take you upstairs. And that she was just like, you're gonna what? Like, she was freaking out. And then they were like, oh, I think she thought we were trying to sex traffic her because we were just.

[D]

Like, sex traveling her.

[Drew]

So we were following her to make.

[C]

Sure she wasn't too drunk.

[D]

You also have to there the. The amount of, like, warnings I get on my TikTok because I. I have to get a new TikTok because I can't get into my original TikTok. So I'm on, like, really?

[C]

Just like, we'll shout it out.

[D]

Yeah, we'll shout it out.

[Drew]

We'll shout it out just so enough people interact with the. The empty account.

[D]

I just need something because my algo. What I assume like a Facebook mom is on. And it is like every other video is like, these are things that happen when people are trying to sex traffic you. And I'm like, going crazy because I'm.

[C]

Like, oh, this is a lot of stuff.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're getting your.

[D]

And then people are obsessed with, like, with, like, telling people about, like, how people sex traffic. They have, like, these, like, zip ties on your, like, door, like your try.

[C]

To take it off. But do y' all know the. The, like, Jeep stuff where, like, there's like, Jeep wranglers and the rubber duckies. And it's like this whole culture in Jeep, like wranglers. They, like, you get ducked and you have to, like, put the duck in your dashboard. Well, it's this whole thing that Jeep owners do that they, like, trade rubber duckies and it's like you've been ducked or whatever. Well, this one girl who had a Jeep wrangler found a Duck under a hood. And she was like made like a whole Tick Tock series.

[D]

The new tactic for sex traffic.

[C]

Exactly, exactly.

[Drew]

They're gonna put the rubber duck on your car so that they can always identify your car with the duck in the woods.

[D]

Wonder. Everyone is paranoid. It's like crazy. It's like every other video is either that or like, like reviews of cruises that I get. And it's like this is the all adult Virgin cruises and this is what you get for the all inclusive package.

[Drew]

That is like we literally need to go on.

[C]

Yeah. Do you like cruises?

[D]

No, but I, I'm willing to go for like an experiment of sorts.

[C]

Yeah. Because like I really need to go again as an adult because I've been on one when I was younger and I want to go and just like black out for seven days.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[C]

Break my sobriety.

[Drew]

Yeah. I like, I think that thing it is, is like getting up is like I've never seen a video of someone prepping for a cruise without putting tequila into a wine bottle.

[D]

I did not know this that they sneak in alcohol because it's very expensive on there. But there's also the all inclusive ones which I again I have been really, I've been really in that I have.

[C]

No.

[D]

Plans on going on a cruise, but I know everything about the Virgin Atlantic cruises.

[Drew]

Your tick tock feed is like a tarot card reader being like, so you're gonna get sex trafficked on your next cruise? Next Terrible.

[D]

And the way they deliver it is like, okay you guys, like this is going to save your life. If you're ever at a Trader Joe's and then you see like a duck on your like wheel and I'm like, what the. I literally now like walk around like paranoid.

[Drew]

The thing is I'm like so aloof and I genuinely don't think my brain functions at a high rate at any point anymore. Which is crazy. Cuz I don't think I've done that many bad things to like in my life to make my brain work at such a slow functioning. But it's literally mine is just like I am just too aloof in the world and I could literally be walking down the most dangerous street ever. But I'm like, if I feel like I'm in danger, I'm just freaking myself out for no reason. And then I'm like, it's chill, like I'm fine.

[D]

I used to walk around like butt ass naked in like New York at 2am Titties out, like in like no one. Like I. It was like I have no fear anywhere, which is a problem.

[Drew]

I know.

[D]

I feel like it's a huge.

[Drew]

But it's also, like, what happens when you just grow up, like. Like, in certain, like, cities. It's like your bar of danger is, like, so much lower because you're just like, I've been around danger. Like, I grew up in danger. Yeah.

[C]

Did you grow up in Brazil?

[D]

No, I grew up in New York.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

But I did go to Brazil.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You were saying you got, like, shipped off to Brazil?

[D]

I did for a little bit.

[Drew]

It's classic.

[D]

Like, you just, like, ship them off. My mom, like, when she had me, was, like, super young and had, like, not even an apartment to her name and also was, like, single because my dad was, like, her roommate, and then so it's just, like, messy.

[Drew]

Oh, that's gonna happen to me and Drew.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

So, yeah, so she was like, I need you to, like, leave. Like, when I was, like, one, like, just, like, spent a year in Brazil while she, like, try to get a job. And she. She did go to culinary school.

[Drew]

That's a serve. Yeah.

[C]

I want to go to Brazil really badly.

[D]

You should. You go to Bahia. I love Bahia.

[C]

That's awesome.

[D]

Rio's cool. I went there for the first time. It's a bit, like. Like, hectic. Like, I. I'm, you know, also on my new tick tock. I've been realizing there's a difference between a traveler and a vacationer, and I'm gonna say it right here. I'm a vacationer. I do not mean. I do not want to backpack through.

[C]

That's. Oh, my.

[D]

I don't want to backpack. I don't want to, like, I don't want that. I don't want it. Yeah.

[Drew]

I don't. I don't want to see all the sites. Like, we have iPhones now. Like, I don't need to see it. Why? So I could take a picture of it. Y' all are taking pictures of it. I'm gonna see it.

[D]

I'm not waking up early to go, like, hike a moun, see some clouds. Like, I just am not doing that. And it. And it's like, I want to vacation, and a lot of my friends who grew up rich love to travel and, like, see the sights of different countries. I'm like. I'm good.

[C]

I, like, want to get a hotel room and then stay in the hotel room the entire time. Absolutely giving that. But I will say I am a bit of a traveler because, like, there are some things that I'm like, oh, I have to see that. Like, I have to see Stonehenge one day. Like, even though it's going to be so. So underwhelming. But, like, I simply must get, like.

[Drew]

A helicopter charter over there.

[C]

And they probably do.

[D]

Yes.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm terrified of helicopters.

[Drew]

I know. They, like, freak me out. Everybody who leaves Coachella on a helicopter, I'm like, y' all don't like fear?

[D]

Did you guys go?

[Drew]

You have no fear? No, no.

[D]

Yeah, it's working.

[C]

Do you like Coachella?

[D]

No.

[C]

It's pretty awful, right?

[D]

It's pretty awful. I am. I do not like crowds because I get, like, really claustrophobic, which is, like. So I'm very lame. But I used to go for, like, brand deals to, like, make money, and I would, like, stay in the hotel. I think the only set I've ever watched was, like, in 20, like, 17. 17. I saw, like, Grimes.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

And that's about.

[C]

It was this, like, post spaghetti eating, like, homeless art that was, like, absolutely.

[D]

Like, during it, I fear. I think it was pre Elon Musk. It was like, gosh, I don't even know. But I remember I swindled with my friend. She actually was Nikki Takesh as a podcast as well.

[Drew]

She.

[D]

I remember this so vividly. I was. She, like, swindled this, like, security guard with, like, $10 to let us into, like, the artist pass area. And it worked. Oh, we pretended to know Grimes. Like, I didn't say anything. I kind of just sitting there, like, in bewildered at her, like, availability to her, and she. She got us in, and that's it. And then I went, like, once more for, like, a brand deal, and I literally stayed at the hotel. I did not go to the festival. I just don't, like, like it. Like, I don't.

[C]

The dust. It's the dust.

[D]

I don't like festival. It's, like, hot. And it's like, I actually did want to go this year because of, like, Ethel and, like, Charlie and, like, Leah and everyone, but I was unfortunately working. But I did.

[C]

This year was literally for the gays. The girls and the gays.

[D]

Absolutely.

[Drew]

Yeah. 100%. But you can't. You literally couldn't pay me any amount of money to go to Coachella because I think it's like.

[D]

Like, I literally could pay me to go. To go. I literally could.

[Drew]

I say that, like, I don't do, like, the most absurd things for us. A check.

[D]

I will.

[Drew]

I'm like.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I love. No, I love that. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. We should do that. But, like, oh, it's so. I. I just don't like it either. Like, I don't like being around, like, a bunch of people. I don't know. It freaks me out. I'm like, some. The killers in here. The killers.

[C]

Literally, someone's gonna stab me with, like, a dirty needle or some.

[D]

Like, it's giving me simply, like, I feel like I cannot breathe. There's a lot of people around me. Like, I, like, freak out. I'm like, I'm. I'm not a good hang. Turns out.

[Drew]

Yeah, I just turned out. Turns out. I am not.

[D]

Turns out. I stay.

[C]

I'm not the vibe.

[D]

I'm not the vibe.

[C]

Would you ever do a hot air balloon? You said you hated helicopters.

[D]

I. I spent some time in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and that is, like, a big part of the culture there. And, like, I've heard that every year, like, people die. There's a balloon.

[Drew]

I would be the one.

[D]

It's actually really gorgeous. Like, I remember I was doing. It's like 2019. I was doing a movie there, and, like, I woke. We had to be there, like, 5am so that you see. I was like, at a location and you see all these balloons, like, just in the air, and it's like, magical, gorgeous. I. I won't be stepping on it. I actually realized after going to Six Flags, like, last year, I do not need any thrill. I need no thrills. I need nothing. I don't want to go on a roller coaster. I don't want to, like, be on a hot air balloon.

[C]

I want to skydive.

[D]

I don't want to do. I don't.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, I don't want to do that.

[D]

I don't.

[Drew]

I'm just like. I wouldn't go, like, whatever. Never had the intention for me to get. Get in a plane and, like, fall from the sky.

[D]

Like, literally.

[Drew]

Why would I be doing that?

[D]

I just don't want to. I. I used to, like. And you have to train for it.

[Drew]

You have to, like, do to get to. I just want to do it with.

[C]

Someone on my back.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, you would have.

[Drew]

You just want.

[C]

I want a man close to me. I also only watch.

[Drew]

I know.

[C]

I only watch guy on guy porn because I, like, respect a woman.

[D]

Exactly. No, I knew that about you. I caught it a couple times in the past few days.

[Drew]

Three days. Well, you have a problem with, like, porn?

[C]

It's not a problem. I'm just studying.

[D]

I just think it's, you know, it's. We're working on it.

[Drew]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[D]

We are working.

[Drew]

You're gonna help him.

[C]

You're gonna have church tomorrow.

[Drew]

I mean, you are fixing him.

[D]

Yeah, in a lot of ways. The church potluck.

[C]

Yes.

[Drew]

What are y' all bringing?

[C]

Mac and cheese.

[D]

Mac and cheese. What is it? A casserole.

[Drew]

Oh, I'm sure.

[D]

I've never had a casserole in my life. I like. Really?

[Drew]

Oh, it comes along with it.

[C]

Yeah. It's just like.

[Drew]

Yeah. I don't think I've ever had a casserole. And I don't know if I can say what a casserole is. Like, I don't know what it is.

[D]

A dish of, like, stand goods in one.

[C]

It's just a mushy pile of yumminess. But I'm also white, so I love a good casserole.

[D]

Yeah. You grew up on a lot of casserole kind of casserole.

[C]

Green beans, green bean casserole.

[D]

I'm allergic to green beans, so.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Red flag.

[C]

Yeah, Your beige. Have you seen the beige flag?

[D]

Kissing him and him for those red flags? Because I was thinking about. I've been thinking a lot about my red flags lately. I actually almost wrote on a note, I was just like, why? I am the biggest lesbian red flag to ever exist. And one is a Starbucks drink.

[C]

I know you pulling up with a Starbucks.

[Drew]

I was like, literally, like, warm. Like, you've been carrying it for, like, three hours.

[D]

Disgusting. I'm like a human ashtray. I love analog cigarettes.

[C]

I love analog.

[Drew]

Which I can get down with. I literally savored your.

[D]

You're. The kids are canceling Jenna Ortega for smoking a cigarette. I'm like, damn. They really. They gave up on me because no one's ever done that.

[Drew]

We need to save Barbie.

[D]

No one wants to save me.

[Drew]

It was like, I'll start it. I'll start the movement I'll make. Yeah.

[D]

Honey, I've been talking since I was 16, okay?

[Drew]

You're not fixing me.

[D]

You can't fix me.

[Drew]

I'll do the thing where it's like, I'll record you for, like, three seconds and then be like, she said, if this gets a million likes, she'll stop smoking.

[C]

My grandma said, maybe that's what I need.

[D]

That's the push I need.

[Drew]

You need? You need.

[C]

How many likes would it take?

[D]

How many legs would it take? Honestly, like. And I. I can't even give you a number because it. I have been to the dentist trying to get my teeth whitened, and they were like, you can't smoke for three days. And I have left and paid the fee. Like, I have been like, I'm so sorry. Three days.

[C]

Barbie famously rolls her own cigarettes, which is really crazy. I love that energy.

[D]

I do roll my own cigarettes. I've, like, smoked everything cigarette wise, tobacco wise. I've, like, used to smoke, like, Mar 27. I, like, jeweled for, like, a long time.

[C]

And then jewels were ops, bro. They ruined my life.

[D]

Drew and I. Drew and I did discuss having, like, biological children.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Oh, wait, y' all, like, actually did.

[D]

Considering it'll fix my depression, and I.

[C]

Think people will ruin that baby.

[D]

Never thought this before, but, like, it might just fix all my problems if I have a baby.

[C]

Yeah, I agree.

[Drew]

Put a baby on top of everything.

[C]

I really do need a child.

[D]

I need a child. Mostly because I want. Because I was watching Selling Sunset, I was telling you, and it gave me baby fever because it's like, they're never with their kid, but they're always like, I'm gonna go back to my son. Okay. Every time there's drama, they're like, I'm gonna go back to my son. I need this right now.

[Drew]

Oh, that is such a good, like, argument. Like, I literally have a kid. I can't be doing this with you.

[D]

I don't have time for this.

[Drew]

I be a mother. I have to be a mother.

[C]

Mother, wait, Mother.

[D]

I have to go.

[Drew]

Breastfeeding speed.

[D]

I have to go. And they're like, like Versace. Like, get up. And they're like, oh, my God, this is so disgusting. Isn't it? And it's like, everyone's like, yeah, I get it, girl.

[C]

The empathy that comes along with being a mother.

[D]

The last season of Sally Sunset, I just watched. It was so good. I need to tap in, but I don't watch it. Like, we miss. We miss Christine, but there's a couple girls who are fighting for the Christine spot. I don't know if they're winning.

[Drew]

I don't know if they're like, is she's just irreplaceable.

[D]

Well, yes, but there's again, there's a few girls that are trying to be, like, the. And you can't just try.

[Drew]

Either the villain or you're not.

[C]

We have that conversation all the time where, like, we gotta start being nicer to the villains of reality tv because they are what makes it interesting. And if, like, the invention of the Internet, like, along with, like, reality tv, it kind of, like, ruined it because everybody's like, this bitch and tries to, like, ruin their career. Like, no, we need the Villains we need. And you either are a villain or you're not, and you can't make yourself a villain.

[D]

Yeah. Sometimes when I'm, like, feeling, like, really burnt out, I just want to watch something that has no plot, no villains, nothing. And even, like, I was watching the Secret Life of Pets, and as soon as it started getting, like, too crazy, I turned it off because I was like, I need to watch a Spongebob episode. I know. In 15 minutes, it'll. There's a conflict, and then there's a resolution.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

I'm like. But village ones are what makes the stakes high. Sometimes I don't want high stakes. Sometimes I want the lowest stakes.

[Drew]

Yeah. The, like, most empty thing ever.

[D]

I should just start watching, like, what's the kids watching? Bluey. Am I, like, out of it? Like, I know, because we're about to have.

[C]

Yeah, we're about to have our child.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. I mean, are y' all gonna let your kids watch, like, Coco Melon, or are you gonna actually take Ms. Rachel?

[C]

Hello. We're gonna do.

[D]

We're gonna go straight to, like, Schindler's List.

[C]

Yeah. Fallen Angel.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Just the good ones.

[D]

We're just, like. It's gonna. What is it, like, a film? Like, an annoying film, bro.

[C]

Do we want that, or do we want that? I think so. Yeah.

[D]

Like, what do we. What are we trying to. Like, what do you think?

[Drew]

I think it also depends, like, if y' all have, like, a boy, like, are y' all gonna make it an annoying boy? And if you have a girl, are you gonna make her.

[C]

Like, we're gonna have the girl. Like, we're gonna have the girl, and she's gonna be an annoying, pretentious film nerd, but she's gonna have swag and charisma that, like, it's infectious. So it's not pretentious. You know, like, if I went on, like, a structure spew about movies. What?

[Drew]

I just don't know that, like, you're the.

[D]

Tr. I. I think I watch movies. I don't.

[C]

It turns out you should watch solo.

[D]

Okay.

[Drew]

What is that?

[C]

It's, like, a really good movie.

[D]

Dope with. No. Yeah.

[Drew]

Have you seen it?

[C]

Yeah, it's like a. It's basically about, like, sodomy and, like, eating and stuff.

[Drew]

Oh.

[D]

Oh.

[Drew]

Is it that.

[D]

Where they all are, like, in the.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

The human sense.

[D]

Yeah. They're all like a little bowl. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've been there. But yeah. Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh.

[C]

So, yeah, also, this film called Two Girls, One cup is actually really advanced.

[Drew]

Oh, that was a good one.

[C]

When I was in high school, I, like, had, like, a really, like, nihilistic arc. Like, it was really, really gnarly existential vibes. I genuinely, like, was convinced that I was an alien at one point say.

[D]

Oh, my God, this is why we're together.

[C]

I know. We're like twins.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Because y' all are both actually crazy. Whatever. Well, I decided that I don't need to be hanging out with anybody younger than 21 ever again because I've decided my biggest pet peeve is here. Oh, yeah, he's. You should know.

[D]

You're dating the legs asleep because it's not comfy.

[C]

That was so slick. I, like, acted like I was leaving, but I actually grabbed my vape and hid it.

[D]

Yeah. So no one has to see it.

[Drew]

But I just don't need to be around. I've decided my biggest pet peeve is when someone a little younger than me says, like, some. Where they. They think they're bringing, like, a really intense conversation to the table. It's like, you know, like, what I realized recently is I just need to surround myself with people who I trust.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And I'm like, you just found this out? What's happening? Like, literally, like, what are we talking about?

[D]

How old are you, Anya?

[Drew]

I'm 24.

[D]

Yeah. I'm 26. So, so much older than everyone here, and it's okay. But.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Drew]

That.

[C]

Not kai.

[Drew]

Yeah. Kai's eight.

[D]

How old are you?

[Drew]

8,000 years old.

[D]

38.

[Drew]

No, we weren't going to let you go.

[D]

36.

[Drew]

No, he's 29.

[D]

You think about that?

[C]

No, 38. Hello.

[Drew]

He's 29. But, like, 48 in dog years or how does it go? Like, you're really old.

[D]

That's hot.

[Drew]

Wait, we were literally just talking about, like, you saw everybody posting, like, the dog who's, like, 30. Like, the oldest dog ever. I'm like, put him out of his misery.

[D]

He doesn't want to be Chihuahua. No. He's usually.

[C]

His eyes are melting out of it.

[Drew]

Live too long. Like, we need to. Like, we need to just have a service. Like, I wish we could read their brain waves and see if they wanted to be around anymore. Because in dog years, that thing is 200, like, 40 years old.

[D]

Like, put it out.

[Drew]

Like, it doesn't want to be here. There's no way it wants to be here.

[C]

It doesn't even. It's not even aware that it's here. Like, that's the thing.

[D]

I love that I. Back to the thing about, like, 21 year olds and under. Because I think this like somehow connects in my brain. But like that is the kind of, that I have been seeing on my reels. I, I, let's address my algorithm a little bit ins. It's actually like, so I have been like getting a lot of like, like, because I make fun of it, I get a lot of people or make fun of it and I don't know if I just like send it to people because it's entertaining and I do support like you know, young people, young people like expressing themselves on the Internet. But it's like, it's all like, it's all like, you know, like when he's at your locker and like he doesn't trust you and he like lies to you about the text and it's like I'm deep in the drama. And I've also been watching like, like college like loyalty tests like this and.

[C]

They have millions of likes. It's crazy.

[D]

Crazy. And it's like so like under 21, like I don't even know what it's like, wow, he's really going to the girls crib and like he has a girlfriend right here.

[Drew]

And it's, it's like who has the.

[D]

Timer so you have the time. Also in a job challenge, everyone, I.

[Drew]

Thought we were gonna talk about 15 year olds. Like it has to be 15 year olds attracting with it.

[C]

Like, like that's like dead rose emoji vibes.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's when I was in middle school and I was like, like I can't believe I have to have sex next year. Like in eighth grade.

[D]

Like I thought I, it's like my boyfriend isn't like honest with me. I'm like, you're 17 years old. Like, I just.

[C]

It's okay. It's good.

[Drew]

He was never going to tell you the truth.

[D]

Yeah. I'm even reading. Like I don't know if I'm just being, I'm like in, in an era right now that I don't even know what to name it. But I've been reading this. Like, like, yeah, it's like my, like I'm observing like the 21 year olds and like seeing. Because I'm no longer 21 and I, you know, know, still feel like I am like a teenager sometimes and I'm like, what is going on with me? Like am I going through like a quarter life crisis where like I'm no longer playing teenagers on tv? Like I'm aged out of it. Like I'm like now I'm college age. I'm like, holy.

[C]

But now you're lead. You're the lead.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. You're the girl.

[D]

Yeah, sometimes I'm the girl. Sometimes I'm just a team player.

[C]

Yeah. I thought we were going to talk about your buttholes and boobs. Our algorithm.

[D]

Oh, man. I was gonna say.

[Drew]

Well, also not only that, but that. That being your algorithm does kind of make sense and puts a lot of things into perspective. Because like the third time we hung out, we just watched porn.

[C]

Yeah, we did.

[D]

It wasn't like. It was.

[Drew]

It wasn't like. No, yeah. We weren't like, this is on the tv.

[C]

We put it. And we horrified.

[Drew]

We weren't like, like all like.

[C]

It was literally the scariest I've ever seen in my entire life. The dragon, the eggs.

[D]

My algorithm is like. I think Instagram now like fully just allows like, whatever. Like they're down for whatever. I've seen whole on Instagram.

[Drew]

I wonder if it's like just not like going under the radar.

[D]

Oh, actually I have. I see. You know those girls that. It's like. It's like such a. Like, like it's like on every me. It's like it's a bubble in the algorithm. I'm pretty sure it's not, but it's like those girls with like 10 million likes and they just like have like these giant titties yet cold.

[C]

It's all no dead ass. Free the hole.

[Drew]

Like we need to like. It went from that to three best.

[D]

Oils to keep your wiener moisturized business on reels. I'm literally on like steroid guy like reels. Cuz I find it hilarious. Amazing, like everything. Oh my God. I'm. I'm.

[Drew]

Drew loves his creatine.

[C]

I love creatine.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It makes me nice and big. I do.

[D]

What is it?

[C]

It's like, it's good for recovery, but it also is like low key. A vasodilator maybe. I don't know if it's a vasodilator.

[D]

I like, literally went to community college for a week, so I'm a.

[C]

It's actually literally me, but it is like a vasodilator or something like that. Or like water to your muscles, but basically it makes you look bigger after you work out.

[Drew]

When I shoot it into my ass.

[D]

Yes. Yes.

[Drew]

Yeah, we should. We should start injecting it into certain parts, see what happens.

[C]

I think I'm going to get silicone balls implanted.

[D]

Yeah. What's wrong with your balls, Dr.

[C]

I just want them to be bigger.

[Drew]

I mean, I would have assumed you've.

[D]

They're too small.

[Drew]

Seen them.

[D]

I've seen them. Right.

[C]

You know, I just want n. You.

[Drew]

Have nothing good to say.

[D]

I have nothing to say, period. You just want giant balls.

[C]

I love that.

[Drew]

We were just talking about that, though, and that's, like, so gross. And I'm sorry to anybody who's watching who has giant balls, but, like, get a grip.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Apart from Drew, I haven't seen a penis this in real life in, like, years.

[Drew]

And you are so lucky.

[C]

And I'm the broken sigma.

[D]

Yeah. Drew turned me out, too.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

You guys.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. You guys are, like, healing each other, because that's how it should be.

[D]

You know, I think I'm, like, at an age where I'm just like, I don't. I don't need to be gay. I don't need this.

[C]

We've literally talked about that before.

[D]

I don't need to be gay anymore.

[Drew]

Have you seen Saucy Santana on Live with. I don't know if it was Young Miami or. I. I can't believe I'm blanking on.

[D]

Karisha.

[Drew]

Karisha. Yeah. I don't know who it was, but they were, like, on Live, and Saucy Santana was just like, once I hit 50, I'm not doing this gay anymore. Like, it's lost. Like, you don't. You don't do it, dude.

[D]

I watch. I'm like, again, my algorithm is straight, and I'm like. I'm fantasizing about it. I'm like, this seems so, like, just simplicity.

[Drew]

Chill.

[D]

Yeah, man. Does. Does the housework. I do my own thing. Like, that's lit. I love it.

[Drew]

It is the most simple thing ever. But, like, people are trying to, like, mess that up. Like, people are trying. People are trying so hard to be like. But, like, work should be equally divided. No, no.

[D]

My preferred relationship is I don't do anything, so I don't know what that is. Like, maybe I just need someone to, like. I. I need to find someone online, like, on, like, one of those websites.

[Drew]

We need to get you a caretaker.

[D]

A caretaker king. Because that's really what I need is just someone who's literally gonna handle me the water from over there and just, like, let me be just, like, in a little bubble on my.

[C]

I do need to be taken care of.

[D]

That's all I need.

[C]

And my partner needs to be, like, either. Like. Like, no. Actually needs to be absurdly, disgustingly rich. Like, that's it. Like, I need. I. That's what I need.

[Drew]

Yeah, but I feel like that's such a.

[D]

Like, it's hard to find.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's such a specific market. Like, you have to be such a specific person and selling yourself. None of us can keep our mouth quiet enough to get into, like, this section of life where someone with that much money will, like. But people with that much money want, like, silence.

[D]

If they're not.

[Drew]

They want silence and sex, but they're weird.

[D]

It's like, also people with a lot of money, like, if you. And they're, like, not, like, the most fortunate looking person, which is, of course, like, all of them.

[C]

Hello, Elon. Musk is hot. What?

[D]

Elon, you're bad Drew girls, right here.

[C]

Like, I'm sorry. The second Elon's in my dms. I'm leaving.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[D]

You're leaving me for Elon?

[C]

Not now. Not now. Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. Y' all have, like, three more days left.

[D]

We have, like, the week anniversary.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

What are you guys gonna do for your week anniversary?

[D]

Oh, my gosh. We go to Universal, Florida.

[C]

Yeah, we're gonna do Universal, Florida and get, like, the big grand tour.

[D]

Can we go to Disney? I. I've also been really into, like, Disney Bounding. Like, not, like, personally, but just observing and, like, watching.

[C]

You need to do Disney.

[D]

I need to open the Disney bound as.

[Drew]

Guys, I'm gonna go, like.

[C]

No, you.

[D]

Know, I'll take your pictures. What would we be?

[C]

I'm Woody. And you're the. The. What is the girl?

[D]

Oh, I forgot her name.

[Drew]

Jessie.

[C]

Jessie. And then you're like, Mr. Potato Head.

[D]

I love it.

[C]

It's giving.

[Drew]

It's actually Potato Head now.

[D]

It's just Potato Head. So that's what I'm saying. Being straight is easy. I, like, this is, like, what I'm talking about. It's like, you know, I love Be gay. Love to be gay, as you know, but it's. It's. Sometimes it's just easier. So that's why we found each other.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

We don't have the same goals.

[C]

We're settling down.

[Drew]

Oh. The goal was just to, like, make it work.

[C]

Yeah, let's make it work.

[D]

And, like, let's give. No. Like, there's no other way but to make this work.

[Drew]

Yeah. I mean, before you know it, you'll be like. Like 30.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

And then what?

[C]

I mean, K's doing good for himself. What? I'm not 30.

[Drew]

I mean, you're pushing, really? So he's pushing it. Yeah.

[D]

Remarkably close to 30.

[Drew]

I mean, it's the closest you could get to 30 other than being 31.

[D]

It truly is. When's your birthday? What's your sign?

[C]

May 27th. Gemini. What? Wait, was that good?

[Drew]

I know that makes a lot of sense.

[D]

May 29th.

[C]

27Th.

[D]

27Th. Is it May 20th?

[C]

Do you know a lot of we just passed, like.

[D]

Oh, so it was just astrology?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

No, I just like to pretend.

[C]

Okay.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[C]

What is it? What is a Pisces?

[D]

It's hard to. To be gay.

[Drew]

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone you're flirting with and acted like you knew exactly what was happening with astrology?

[D]

Oh, absolutely.

[C]

Every time.

[D]

Single, like, person I date, it's like, let's add each other in the pattern. And then it's always like, something awful because.

[Drew]

And you're like.

[D]

And they're like, you know what? This is even better because, like, we're gonna, like, overcome it, and then we don't. We do not overcome it. I've also been dating a lot of Tauruses, and that has to come to an end. No more.

[C]

Tauruses aren't good.

[D]

It's, like, the only sign I won't do right now.

[Drew]

Wait, who?

[C]

I feel like there's a lot of Tauruses in the world. Is that so? What is it? Orion's birthday is the most, which is a Scorpio. Scorpio. There's.

[Drew]

Oh, Virgo. Virgo.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

She's gonna be mad. She's a Virgo.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. What was it. What was it saying? There's, like, a lot of them in the world. Like, yeah, Tauruses. Yeah.

[D]

There's, like, a lot of. There's a lot of Sages, too, I feel like. But my mom says she. She conceived me on St. Patrick's Day, which is ridiculous because I'm like, I've never once. She celebrated St. Patrick's Day.

[Drew]

My mother.

[D]

But she, like, like, went to, like.

[Drew]

She probably went to a really good party.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, she just.

[C]

Oh, Aries is the number one.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Aries. I'm three people who know, like, Leo and Virgo. I just think. I just like to say it. I just like to, like, be like, I'm. Massage. Whatever. Nicki Minaj is a sa.

[Drew]

I know. That's. I was literally about to quote her. I'm an Aquarius. I. Everybody always guesses me right, which just makes me feel annoying.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. Everybody's like, you're an Aquarius. I'm like, yeah. They're like, yeah.

[C]

When I say I'm A Pisces. People freak the out because then I'm like, oh, I'm like a Pisces. And they're like, what's the other one? And I'm. I don't know if it's like a moon or something, like what the other sign is. And I'm like, I'm a Pisces Gemini. And when I tell them that, they freak the out, like in the craziest way. They're like, oh, you're the only one.

[D]

Gemini. Yeah, I like Gemini. That's why we're together.

[C]

Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, they tell me I'm like the worst person ever. That I'm like manipulative, evil, emotional. The victim. Like, that's why I like it. Exactly.

[D]

I actually like have been looking for someone who just serves victim all day.

[C]

Cuz it's getting the villa.

[D]

I want to be the villain and I want like.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, you can.

[Drew]

We can help you.

[D]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Or I can help you be like, attack him if you want. It would be easy. Also. Sorry. I was just on my phone, my mom was calling me and that's either to pay the phone bill or something bad happened because I'm always going to. It's. If someone's calling you on the phone, it's something bad.

[D]

Every time my mom calls me the phone, I answer it, like in a haste, like, is everyone alive? And she's like, yeah. I'm like, okay, good. That's all I need.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

And she instilled that fear in me.

[Drew]

I know. Literally, that's like, anybody from my family calls. I'm like, something bad, terribly bad has happened. And then I'm like, what happened? And they're like, I just want to talk.

[D]

I'm like, okay, nah, you're hiding.

[C]

I did it. Do you know what a sensory deprivation tank is?

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

Okay, so have you ever done one?

[D]

I did a sensory deprivation room.

[C]

Okay. How does that.

[Drew]

I feel like you might have done the same thing because what you were describing was so big.

[C]

Mine was like a giant room with a puddle on the floor.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, that's. That's the room. Because you can go into a pod.

[C]

Yeah, I want to do the traffic.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And if you walk above, like naked floating around.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

No, I was genuinely paranoid that there were cameras.

[Drew]

Oh, me too. In the sauna room. I was like, I was like laying down and then I got up and I kind of did like a very like maybe schizoaffective thing. And I went around and like everything that I could see, I was like, Checking.

[C]

I did the same thing. I, like, opened the door so the light would come in, and I looked around, and I was like, okay, there's no cameras in these walls.

[D]

So that's when I'm peeing. I'll be like, if you're listening to this, you're a pervert. Because sometimes I'll be at work and I'll have a mic. I don't want to. Like, no one's listening to it. But just in case, I, like, whisper, like, threats to people just in case I'm, like, like, peeing or, like, whatever. And, like, no ob.

[Drew]

So they can't. They can't sell your piss track.

[D]

Because if they do, it's gonna be like, yeah, you like it, you little piss baby. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I have to. And I. I'll check everything. Yeah. I used to, like, love just, like, being naked publicly and, like, spas and stuff, and now I'm, like, really paranoid, and I think it's the Internet and age.

[C]

I'm the same. I'm the same way. I hate being, like, in, like, the locker room naked. But actually, recently, I have, like, actually just been like, yeah, literally, the disgusting man that walks around me.

[D]

That's all me. I'm, like, really instilling a lot of, like, yeah, confidence.

[Drew]

She's teaching you to, like, be the man in the room.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

Like, yeah, I. Ew.

[D]

Oh, hey, that's my man right there.

[C]

Is that your man? That's my man.

[D]

That's my man.

[Drew]

I don't mind being butt naked. Nasty. Also, something is. I can't. I'm not gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. I was like, something's desperately wrong with me because I have fully felt myself performing for the male gaze in case there's a camera recording me pissed.

[D]

Oh, I love it.

[Drew]

Like, I gotta give it a show.

[C]

If it's happening, it's happening. That's so funny. I'm, like, being like, oh, like the Ariana Grande video that I was telling y' all about, where she wouldn't show the right side of her face.

[Drew]

Just, like, working the camera at any cost.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

I want to, like, get. Get to that level just, like, every. The only thing that matters is how I look on camera, which is, like, a really liberating feeling. Sometimes you just. You just watch yourself. You ever just watch yourself back and go, yes. You know what? It was good.

[C]

All the time.

[D]

It was good. Yeah.

[Drew]

I just, like, at this point, have accepted. I genuinely am one of those people Are like, I'm. I'm pretty in person. I'm like, you just have to see me in person. Like, you don't have to see me in video. Like, I'm pretty in person.

[C]

I'm pretty on camera and in person, so it's like, I can't relate to that experience.

[Drew]

Well, everyone's definition of pretty is very different too, so I'll let you have that because.

[D]

Oh, look at that face. That's. That's my favorite face.

[Drew]

Did you teach him that one? Oh, yeah.

[D]

Gonna suck in the cheek a little bit. Clench a jaw.

[Drew]

Well, your scary beard covers your.

[D]

But you know what? Jude does have, like, such a jawline.

[C]

I know. It's. I hate it. It's my biggest insecurity.

[Drew]

I know. He's always like, oh, I want to get rid of my jawline.

[D]

I'm like, why would you want to get rid of.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

He wants the opposite. Everyone's doing all the we ho gays.

[C]

Exactly, Exactly.

[D]

They're getting the jaw in.

[C]

I know. It's crazy. I saw someone get a botched jaw, like, filler, and it was actually so sad because he did not need it at all. He looked so good before, and then he got fillers in his jaw. And right after, I was like, oh, it looks good. But, like, the next day and like, the next week after, it was, like, giving, like, Handsome Squidward.

[D]

It was giving Handsome Squidward in Los Angeles.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

And it's just not okay.

[Drew]

It's like, up, up to think that, like, it's so easy to fall into that, especially if you just, like, have the time. That's why we need to go back to work.

[D]

That's why with free time comes, like, do I need to, like, literally, like, just be an Erewhon girl? Oh, I. I think I need to.

[Drew]

Reshape my whole life.

[D]

My new Clean Girl aesthetic is a cry for help. I've been, like, really on. I've been on, like, a lot of, like, morning routine, tick tocks, and it's really just a cry for help. I like it.

[Drew]

Cry.

[D]

Oh, oil puller is when it's like. I'm like, you know what it is? It's like, it. The. The more that I'm. More I'm into my dental hygiene, the worse my brain is. And it's just been like. I've been really just, like, falling done.

[Drew]

When you actually commit to doing the teeth lining, that's when we'll know we need to step in.

[D]

I do need to commit to the teeth whitening. Oil pulling is when you swish around coconut oil in your mouth. Drew's on me to, you know, tell the girlies what they know what it is.

[Drew]

I was going to say I. I'm.

[D]

The 26 year old who's like, no. I'm like, oh my goodness gracious. There's like things you can do for your teeth. And I'm like, that's great. I just been putting all my energy into like copying and buying products from tik tok influencers.

[C]

It's so addicting to like watch them get ready in the morning for some reason.

[Drew]

There's no way they even if I.

[D]

Did the exact same thing at 5am like, it just isn't ASMR as like also I always just think like they're putting that camera there and they're like, you know what I mean? Like the behind the scenes. I try not to think of it like, I try to think of it as just like natural and like, like fun.

[Drew]

But now it's.

[D]

There's a lot. I used to be dirty girl aesthetic and when I was happier and now it's just like, like it's, it literally.

[C]

Is made to like make you feel ashamed about yourself in your routine.

[D]

Everything I love, I love like observing different groups of people on Tick tock and clean girl. The clean girl one. Like, I know I will talk through.

[Drew]

Someone'S and I'm like, there's no way you didn't film all of this in one day and just pile it up. Because like there's no way you're doing this. Because I cannot keep up with anything, any regimen like that. Like, I just can't do like, I like the max it is, is like I put on my skin care so that I don't get any more acne. That is as far as I will go. And like a moisturizer. But I cannot do like, like my hair correctly every day. I can't like, I can't do like. So it's all too much. Also, I can barely floss every day and floss. There's so many teeth in our mouths. Like, I don't need all these teeth. Like, I need some of them removed so I don't have to floss between every tooth because I can skip out some teeth. Like the teeth back there. How the am I supposed to get to that? Like, I'll let those ones raw.

[D]

Like this was like trying to get me to buy like little mini toothbrushes for the back of my teeth. I'm like, girl, you really think I'm.

[C]

Gonna sit there Yeah, I the double stopped flossing in general because my teeth hurt when I floss loss which is disease.

[Drew]

Yeah, you probably like gums disease or something.

[C]

But it's not my gums. It's like the teeth are too close together.

[Drew]

And you also just eat like. Like you eat probably the most acidic diet of anybody I've ever known.

[D]

That is literally why we're together. I love acidic food. What are your favorite acidic foods? Like tomato.

[C]

I. I love like hot cheetos. I like hot cheetos. Takis. And then oranges are like your gums are like sizzling.

[Drew]

Oh, that's what I'm saying. Like definitely mixing all those things is so bad. Like when I am high. Concoction of things I gather to my corner to eat when I am high is. There's no way my stomach isn't like.

[C]

Blowing the up every morning. And I don't dilute.

[D]

That is very clean girl aesthetic to have like a.

[Drew]

He thinks it makes him high. He's like a little.

[C]

Literally. I take a shot of it. Yeah, I take a shot of it. It gets me like buzz. Like I feel euphoric for like 15 minutes and then I do it before I eat because I'm literally like pre diabetic or something. Cuz like my body fails and I have to go to sleep after I eat. And this for some reason makes me not tired after I eat.

[Drew]

It's crazy also I guess.

[D]

Is that like a placebo effect or do you think it's for real?

[C]

I hope it's.

[D]

I hope actually it doesn't really matter.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

How about that?

[Drew]

If it's working.

[D]

It actually doesn't even matter if it's working.

[Drew]

It's working.

[C]

Yeah, but that's. That's my clean girl.

[Drew]

Maybe also because you're on such a sobriety kick. You. Your body has no idea what any kind of alcohol is like. And like the minor percent of alcohol.

[C]

In that you're like I did have.

[D]

The mother in there.

[C]

Exactly.

[Drew]

The mother's being awoken.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I did have a sip of both of yalls margaritas and I had a few the other day was delicious.

[D]

I've been sober curious mostly cuz I just like am thc. Like I'm a strand of th.

[C]

Thc.

[D]

A thc. As you can hear from my voice. I am a tasty molecule as a human. Also like part nicotine and like other part is like powderized pearl powder.

[C]

Tell them about, you know what it is.

[Drew]

That's also what's so funny about like being an Adult who does not treat my body correctly. And then I put like, like that on top of it as it's as if it's gonna undo that. All I do is like kill my brain cells at least six times a week with any sort of substance, whether it be like nicotine, alcohol or weed. And then I just like sprinkle like an erewhon like powder and I'm like.

[D]

I do the unspeakable to my body every day.

[C]

It's giving like, what's the point like to like if you're not Starbucks nitro.

[D]

Cold brew every morning these days. It has been my addiction for six months. I. And it is actually battery acid. Like it is. I googled it. It's like 30% more caffeine. I was running on like Celsius and cigarettes like my entire movie. I just did for two months. I. I was eating that and then like a boiled egg in the morning. And like I was, I was set. And also there was like a lot of hot dogs there. So the glizzies.

[C]

I'm a glizzy.

[D]

Like, let me eat some vegetables and like a juice, but then let me go back to like smoking a thousand cigarettes and like Celsius.

[Drew]

I mean, honestly, that is balance. Like as long as you're getting like the equal amounts of good. But I don't know if I get the equal amounts of good because I.

[D]

Just, I get nothing.

[Drew]

Yeah, I get stuck on like fixation food and then I will just eat it, like over consume it.

[C]

That's literally how I've been recently is I'll drink like a coke and then I'll. Before I finish a Coke, I have to finish my water.

[D]

I like that rule.

[C]

And I do that with like sustenance in general, where I'm like, okay, if I'm gonna eat McDonald's, like, I also have to eat. McDonald's is so good. Oh my God. I'll have to eat something healthy like Kai. It really is.

[D]

It is an underrated influencers who are.

[Drew]

Eating McDonald's all the time.

[D]

Everybody.

[Drew]

Yeah, everybody's lying. Like, oh, I make my overnight night oats and that's all I eat. Like, you suck my balls. Like, we know your postmates is going off later that day.

[D]

Like, if I were to eat what these girls eat every day, like at night, I would have to order like all of Taco Bell, like to feel okay, I need the red 40. I need like something when I was overseas.

[Drew]

I need processed food.

[D]

I. I told you I had a red 40. Like I needed it Like, I felt like there was no, like, art in Hungary. They don't have, like, any, like, artificial, like, genetically modified anything there, which is. I think I'm just, like. Like, from experience. From, like, being.

[Drew]

You're, like, from the taste of it.

[D]

Like, not being satiated for months. And it was just, like, I came back and I was like, thank God.

[C]

Like, I know I need the processed foods in my diet. Like, if I don't have them, it doesn't feel right. Like, the ketchup feel right? Yeah, the ketchup in Europe. Like, I don't know why the. I'm saying this, but it's, like, neon red, and it.

[D]

I feel like it's like, baby, that's not real.

[C]

Hats up. I feel like it's more natural.

[D]

Is that real? Was that just, like, a. Like, Like, Is that what you really call ketchup? Cats up, cat.

[C]

I just call it ketchup.

[D]

Let's talk about.

[C]

Oh, no cap.

[D]

No cap.

[C]

Sup?

[Drew]

Oh, actually, in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm gonna.

[D]

See, this is why I'm doing this.

[Drew]

I'm gonna 5150 both of you after this.

[D]

I actually do need it. I'm, like, really? In my depression era, but it's kind of, like, fun. It's, like, a little comforting.

[Drew]

Sometimes it's necessary. Especially, like, I feel like you were just overstimulated and, like, really in it for so long. Like. Like, you need full decompression and, like, your deprivation tank is your couch.

[D]

Yeah. I literally. I, like, let my dog out. I just looked around, was like, everything's pointless. And this is comforting to know this.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's nice. But then, like, it. I always am like, oh, this is bad. When, like, it starts to, like, bother me that I'm doing it. Does that make sense?

[D]

Like, me, every day. Every day, I. For years of my life, I've been like, I need to change. I need to change.

[C]

Everything has to change.

[D]

Everything is. And it's like, I could look through my journals, like, every day. It's like, I need to change. Change. Something needs. Something needs to change, and nothing ever changes. And I'm kind of just like. You know, maybe it's just, like, radical acceptance to just accept that you will not change.

[Drew]

Wow.

[C]

Beautiful. Holy.

[Drew]

I mean, also, like, it is true, because all the things that I think I need to change is because, like, on Tick Tock, live differently. And I'm like, damn, y' all really, like, the girls who go to the farmer's market every Sunday. It is a blessing in my life if I make it out one Sunday.

[D]

But their job is to go to the farmers market and make a video about it. So it's like, if.

[Drew]

So we all need to shift our. We need to shift to being outside.

[D]

We need to go outside. I feel like whenever I do anything for work, it's like, I'm a different person. I'm like, yeah, I'm do it. I'm gonna work, like, 16 hours a day. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna put everything into it, and then I'm home. It's like, I don't have the motivation to walk around the block. And again, that's a lesbian red flag. Lesbians love to take a walk around the block. It is like, I'm not kidding. It has been like, every time I date, like, a woman or a queer person, it's like, why don't you. You ever want to take a walk around the block with me? I'm like, I literally would rather die. I would actually rather die.

[Drew]

Why is that such a. Like, that is. Maybe there's. We need to do, like, an analyzation of, like, dad behavior and lesbian because, yeah, it's the same. Oh, I can make that. I can make that at home. That's dad behavior. And I feel like that's a big lesbian thing is, like, I can make that for you. Like, don't buy. I can make it for you.

[D]

I'm not lying to you. Like, my. The Starbucks is, like, my most shameful red flag because you would think that I'm like, the. I've been. I'm a convicted felon for, like, drinking Starbucks with lesbians because they're addicted to, like, really cool, like, coffee shops and, like, black coffee with no sugar or milk. And I'm like, it honestly, like, it's like, something I have to, like, come out and say that I drink Starbucks.

[C]

What?

[Drew]

Did you ever fake it? Do you ever, like, try to push yourself?

[D]

I love to fake for the first.

[C]

Put the Starbucks in a different.

[D]

I'm not kidding. I did on FaceTime where I put it in the mug because I'm like, I'm so embarrassed.

[C]

That's like that guy on.

[Drew]

On Tick Tock who chose, like, how an alcoholic hides their alcohol. It's Barbie doing that with her, like, a pile of cups. And it's like, just, like, the cold brew between all the cups.

[D]

Honestly, my most, like, rebellious act is to have a Starbucks in the morning as a gay person. And I'm not kidding. I'm like, everyone's like, there's so many good coffee. I'm like, I don't want that. I want my comfort. My 30 more caffeine, battery acid with a little bit of cream in it. Dairy. Dairy.

[Drew]

Also, there's something to be said. A lot of these fancy coffee shops are so gross. Like, a lot of their coffee is nasty, and then it's always different every day.

[D]

And I like a little bit of sweet. Don't like it too sweet. So it's like. It's just. It also me coming out and saying that I like sugar in my coffee. Like, oh, my God.

[C]

That's a.

[D]

That's what I'm saying right now. I like, I'm not ready to, like, give up Starbucks and, like, sitting on my couch.

[Drew]

You're not ready to give up Starbucks and start walking around the block? Walking around the block. Walk is crazy. My dad made us do that every time we came home from a restaurant. He was like, let's go on a walk. And I'm like, I want to go and sleep. And he's like, we should go on a walk around the block. It's 11pm I don't want to walk around the block.

[D]

Walk around the block is my worst nightmare. I literally get triggered when I hear it.

[C]

Now.

[D]

I'm just like, this is not okay. Because I've, like, literally, it's been so many people, and it's just like, you never want to do anything I want to do, which is walk around the block. And I'm like, yeah, and I won't do it.

[Drew]

That's where I draw the. I don't care about walking around the block.

[D]

I will go on a hike. I will go somewhere to walk. Walk. But I'm just. Why would I walk around watching something? It's like I'm watching something comes in the room. Let's go for a walk on the block. I'm like, I'm in the middle of something. I'm a selfish person here. That's my other red flag. I'm so.

[C]

I was gonna say, I love hearing your red flags. And I'll tell. We'll tell you ours. But, like, give us one more good one.

[D]

What's my other red flag? My other red flag?

[C]

Starbucks Anti.

[D]

Walk around the block, around the ball, casually. I. I think my red flag is that I sleep off. I like, you should know, Drew, because we spent the last few nights together. No, not only just that I have, like, the most chaotic sleeping. Like, I, like, am, like, sideways on the bed, like, kicking and thrashing, thrashing.

[C]

Writhing around under the sheets.

[D]

Oh my God. I'm pretty much. I don't scream, but I, I, I, I like, cannot sleep. Like, I, but I sleep for 12, 14 hours because I cannot sleep because I'm always just moving around. So that's my other red flag.

[Drew]

Yeah, I guess I wonder if like my intense, like, man snoring would be a red flag.

[D]

I do snore. I've learned that I snore.

[C]

My red flag is really loud. Sleep in like, I sleep like this.

[Drew]

Yeah, he sleeps like a dead body.

[D]

That's really good because I've learned that I sleep. The worst position that you can.

[C]

How do you sleep?

[D]

It's literally the worst position you can is like, it's like with a pillow, like this cranked neck, like literally like, like 45 degree angle. It is like I'm like, I'm on my stomach, I can't breathe. My like leg is like not supported by anything. It's just like I wake up every day with like shoulder pain. It's great.

[Drew]

Yeah, I sleep on my side like all crunched up and rolled into a little corner. And then every morning, like to unwrap myself. It's like, like, it's like unwrapping like a dead person's body every morning. So that's maybe a red flag. But I don't know, like, I haven't gotten any complaints about my snoring. I've just been lucky that anybody who's sleeping next to me is usually a really happy heavy sleeper.

[D]

I don't have anybody in my life.

[Drew]

Who'S a light sleeper.

[C]

My red flag is that I banged everyone's mamas all the time. That's not, that's like not a red flag though, mama.

[D]

Oh, especially mine.

[Drew]

Well, cuz she was just easy. She was like an easy one.

[D]

She was all over him the other day. Not anymore though. He's changed.

[C]

Yeah, I'm a reform Barbie.

[Drew]

Did have to fight your mom for and she did win. So sorry.

[C]

Your mom's an OP now.

[Drew]

My red flag is definitely that I need attention at all times and if I'm not giving that attention, I will get that attention elsewhere. Like I won't, like, I won't cheat. But like, if like you don't give me attention, I will get the attention. Like so do not put me in a position where I have to go find that.

[C]

It's easy for you to get the attention.

[Drew]

If I'm posting a selfie, it's because I'm not getting enough attention.

[D]

Oh, if you see selfies, just know I'M single.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Literally, it's like. It's like clockwork. It's like. All right, time to talk.

[D]

I've posted a single self. I need to post a single selfie right now because I. I am single and it's been a while and I have not posted many selfies.

[Drew]

Yeah. That's when you. Because you're like, it. It's like auctioning yourself out. It's like. So.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Anyone have anyone to say about this?

[D]

Really anxiously. Like, I need attention all the time kind of person. And now I've turned again in my villain era. I have become the monster herself. And I'm the person who's like, detached. I don't know what happened. It's my villain arc. Something is wrong. Something's wrong with me.

[Drew]

I feel at a certain point it's just like I don't want to.

[D]

I'm a cold hearted now.

[C]

It happens all the time to every generation. Everybody just becomes cold and heartless.

[Drew]

Yeah. Everybody gets to the point where it's beautiful.

[D]

It's.

[C]

It's like it'll flip soon.

[D]

What's that? What's that? Like, dark night quote, whatever. Where it's like, you live long enough to see your heroes.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Be on a T shirt.

[Drew]

We need to edit you. Like, with crazy film grain and like shadows.

[D]

Be the villain.

[Drew]

Yeah. So that's my other red flag. I will get attention if I don't get it. Like, if I don't get it, I will get it. Like, don't even question it. Like, you're done. Like, don't play, cuz the attention will get got and the attention is needed to fuel my lifestyle. Yeah. Cuz. Oh, Drew's been cheating on you with Kai, by the way.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. So you're. You've been. You've been sitting across the man who's literally hitting it from the back, like, every night.

[D]

It. No, you're topping.

[Drew]

Yeah. I'm sorry you had to find out like this, Drew.

[D]

I thought I was your top.

[C]

You are my top. You're my real top.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Like that every day.

[D]

Who's better in bed?

[C]

You. What?

[D]

I think we knew that answer.

[Drew]

He did wink it.

[C]

I did not. I did not. I did not. I did not.

[Drew]

Roll it out. We need to talk about how hard it is to be the only straight person in the room. Like, it's just like in 2023, it's really hard. Like, I go into a room, I feel alienated.

[D]

Being gay is too, like, it's. It's too prevalent society Now I kind of want to be like, sometimes I'm just like, it's, it's just too many.

[C]

Of us saying earlier the gay agenda. It's a very real thing.

[D]

It's real. It's real. And like, I'm for sure accidentally promoting it all day. Literally saying like all the time.

[Drew]

Consciously you are promoting.

[D]

I'm promoting it.

[Drew]

But yeah, so that's why the I can't think of other red flags because I genuinely am always like, I'm a good person. Like, I'm not a red flag. But I'm like, I get like very, very snappy when I like don't want to be around anybody anymore. Like, instead of being like, instead of.

[D]

Being like, I don't raise my voice sometimes.

[Drew]

No, instead of like being like, oh, hey, like, I don't want to hang out right now. I'll just like hang out and then be a for like three hours until the person is like, should we like not be chilling right now? And I'm like, yes. Or actually I turn it on them. I'm like, oh, so you don't want to be around me? I'm like, just too.

[D]

I'm a sassy girl. Girl. I love being sassy. I, I think it keeps it spicy.

[Drew]

Yeah, someone needs to do it.

[D]

Someone does need to do it. I, I, I'm the sassy one usually.

[C]

Oh, I've said it once before. I think now it's probably more like 35, 000 people have jacked off to me. I just don't, I haven't. But I publicly stated that I thought like at least 32, 000 people have jerked off to me and everyone was like bodying me in the comments. Yeah, right.

[D]

What do you think they're jerking off to? Like, particularly, do you think image of me, like the particular image, like, is there like a clip or like a photo?

[C]

I think it's just my personality. I just, yeah.

[Drew]

Maybe. But like you're leaning too much into the idea that people have that kind of imagination. And like, it's just like at this point, like, or maybe someone's deep faked you onto some action.

[C]

No, I haven't been deep faked one. And I haven't gotten a contribute to and I still haven't gotten a contribute, which is insane. Oh no, we got a contribute.

[D]

When someone prints out a photo of you, comes on in and okay, yeah, just had to like, just need that.

[C]

I need that. I said to, that's my red flag. One of my red flags is no come tribute. The other One is, I'm just like a clean person. Like, I just like, I could tell.

[Drew]

Like I could see myself arguing in a relationship with Drew over like things being moved.

[C]

Oh, I.

[Drew]

He's like a big. Like, if you leave something in your spot and he doesn't like the spot, he'll make a new spot.

[D]

Yes. Okay. Another, I'm a walking. It's like actually just. I. It's dawned on me that I, yes, I'm. I have a juicy ass. But that is just not enough per.

[Drew]

This isn't enough to carry over. See, the problem is like, when I look at you and your lifestyle, I'm like, oh, you're perfect in my eyes.

[D]

Thank you so much.

[Drew]

But that's also like. Then I'm like, I don't. I wouldn't see like the problems in dating you, but I think that's cuz we also get along so well. Like, all three of us got along so well. Because I look at my friends all the time. I'm like, like, damn, what would make you bad in a relationship? Like, it's kind of hard to tell until that person says those things.

[D]

I date people who are like, like a. Like a bit older than me and they have like their life like semi together. Like in a. But like in a way that's like, I have my life together in a lot of ways and then I have it. Like I like live like a frat bro sometimes. Like, I'm smoking weed, I'm drinking Celsius. I'm like eating like Aron fake sugar snacks like for lunch and dinner, which I did yesterday.

[C]

Have you had the new source ones?

[D]

Like, no. Sugar ones that are so nasty and.

[C]

They like stick to your teeth?

[D]

Yes, they will knock it off. My teeth.

[C]

Hate it.

[D]

I like, you know, I think I'm like a catch all the time because I lie in the first few weeks. I lie. I should have lost.

[Drew]

I like, I do lie. And then because I. I have the problem where I play cool girl. That's a big red flag is I play cool girl. Where I'm like, this doesn't bother me. Nothing bothers me. It takes so much to bother me. But really, like, I am actually losing my mind and I'm like two seconds away from buying a gun and shooting all the tires at the person I'm talking to because I never want them to be able to leave their house again because they're pissing me off. But I will hold all that in and like, hold it in. And then the smallest thing ever will annoy me. And I will really harp on that thing. And I'm like, you just shouldn't have done that. And it's like something really stupid, but I'm just pushing all this, like, other energy into it. But that's my big red flag is I play cool girl, let someone run over me too much, and then I'm like, like, I freaked the out over something small because I'm like, I've let.

[D]

Everything happen that's normal. Like, I feel like, cool girl.

[Drew]

You know, I kind of play, like.

[D]

Absent dad a lot in my relationships. I really do. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's what I want in a relationship. I need someone that. That's. And that's why we're so compatible. But no, I need someone that, like, is gone and I see maybe once a month to have sex.

[D]

I want someone to be next to me, but I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to, like, do.

[C]

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

[D]

I want you to be in home. But, like, I don't want to do what you like to do.

[Drew]

I feel like I'll, like, play the game of, like, doing what someone else wants to do for a while. But then after all, I'm like, I don't want to do that. Like, I. I literally will, like, roll my eyes, like, G. And that's, like, really fun. Someone will be like, we should go do this. And I'm like, should we?

[C]

Inya is so bad at hiding her expression on her face. Like, if she doesn't like something, you can tell immediately. And then you have to be like. Like, are you sure you don't want to do that?

[Drew]

And I will lie.

[C]

I'm like, yeah, I don't know exactly.

[D]

I love that. I feel like. I love an expressive face.

[Drew]

It's so bad, though. I wish I was really good at lying. I'm not good at lying, but I'm good at not telling the truth. But the second someone asked me, like, it's because I speak before. I, like, think, and then it'll come out.

[C]

And I'm like, would I?

[D]

I make up facts a lot, and then I believe them.

[C]

Like, Uberfax. You made Uberfax.

[D]

I, like, totally will say something like, with like. And then I'll. Sometimes I'll take a second. I'm like, that was not true.

[C]

Like, I do that all the time. I'm literally like, I don't know why I said that, because that's not true. Like, I don't know where that came from. And I looked it up.

[D]

But in that moment, in that split second, I do believe it to be true.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[Drew]

Yeah. I do repeat things falsely because I add words to everything I've ever heard in my life. You can't repeat a sentence to me and me not. You can't say a sentence to me and not have me repeat it back with 8 million extra words. So if you tell me a fact, I will go and tell my friends that fact. But Multiple multiplied by 800. Because I'm just like, I. It needs to be the craziest thing that they've ever heard.

[D]

Things that I know nothing about, like, logically in my area, and then be like, no, it's because of this. And then I have no proof. Like, no expertise.

[C]

I do that all the time. Like, especially on here, I, like, bring up something that I know nothing about that I just heard one thing about, and someone tries to indulge in the conversation with me, and I have nothing else to give because I'm not an expert. But when I do lie, lie, which I love, I tell, like, truths that make me look bad. I don't know if that makes sense, like, when I'm lying to someone. Like, I'm. I don't really lie anymore, but when I was younger, when I would lie, I would tell, like, the truth about something else and be able to lie about what I'm hiding right now.

[D]

Sandwich it.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. I mean, all the killers do. And, like, I just made that up.

[C]

Well, I made up love wins so, though.

[Drew]

You did.

[D]

I actually. Yeah. And you didn't copyright it.

[C]

I didn't.

[Drew]

Yeah. So you lost it.

[C]

You.

[Drew]

You miss out on a lot of pride merch.

[C]

And I invented the perk 30, which sucks.

[D]

30. I love. That's my man.

[Drew]

There he goes. A. I'm just saying, like, y' all haven't known each other that long, so I don't think you should be dating yet.

[C]

It has only been three days.

[Drew]

That's exactly.

[D]

We've known each other for longer. We were like, you know, I like, FaceTime him.

[C]

Basically high school sweethearts when I would go to New York.

[D]

Basically, like, a real relationship. If you're FaceTiming someone a lot, you're dating.

[Drew]

I know.

[C]

If we.

[Drew]

If I am not having sex with you, there's absolutely no reason I ever need to be on FaceTime with you. Like, why the do people FaceTime?

[C]

I FaceTime my mom all the time to FaceTime.

[Drew]

And that's weird.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Why do you.

[C]

I just said I FaceTime my mom all the time.

[Drew]

I know. I mean, we were just literally saying how it's time.

[C]

Oh, okay. Now I'm the bad guy, bruh. Bruh, you're the bad guy.

[D]

I want to be, like, a villain couple. Oh, like, y' all need to do. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wait.

[Drew]

Yeah, y' all should. Okay, so you have to.

[D]

That should be our Halloween costume.

[C]

I was gonna say. What is that?

[D]

And the ghost Joker.

[C]

We could do that. We could do that. We could be. I could be the Skull Tate guy. What's his name? Not Andrew Tate the freak, but the.

[Drew]

Bates.

[C]

That's actually. Yeah, that's actually advanced.

[Drew]

I think y' all should go public with your pseudo relationship, because.

[D]

You know. Know.

[Drew]

Okay, like, whatever. You could just, you know, I guess.

[D]

Classy.

[Drew]

You could keep it classy. Y' all could go public. And then, like, you know how, like, everybody gets in trouble publicly when they're in a relationship because they get caught cheating? Y' all should just cheat on each other.

[D]

But then we go into a smoothie squad after, and then we, like, make.

[C]

It up, and then I become a squatter in your house.

[D]

Oh, that's.

[Drew]

That's good. I mean, I don't think she was opening the door to that, but, like.

[D]

No. Yeah.

[C]

I just thought I would throw it out there.

[Drew]

Yeah. I mean, it's.

[C]

I am homeless.

[D]

Yeah, you don't.

[Drew]

So that's why you're dating her?

[D]

That he's dating you for a lot of.

[C]

I was going to say a lot.

[D]

Of people do that again. New York coded. Yeah. That was very sneaky.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

You just don't do it, like, proudly in front of you.

[Drew]

Everybody knows he hits that puff bar, so I don't know why he hides it.

[C]

Disgusting. And I hate it so much.

[D]

But.

[C]

But June 14th, my mother's birthday. I'm quitting. Mark my words. Genuinely this time. For real.

[D]

Well, wow. I mean, I'm terrified of quitting cigarettes because I feel like it's, like, the only, like, thing I look forward to.

[C]

You need a vice. Like, I genuinely.

[Drew]

Everybody needs a vice.

[D]

Why can't my vice be, like, preaching?

[C]

True, true. Why can't it be, like, collecting.

[Drew]

Preaching a vice?

[C]

I mean, that's literally real, though.

[D]

Why can't my vice be, like, making homemade like. Like stocks and, like, freezing them in my fridge for a rainy day?

[C]

I saw this video.

[Drew]

Cuz that's just not fun.

[D]

Some people derive a lot of purpose from that.

[C]

I saw this preacher at church, like, past, like, literally at church, she's the preacher, and she goes, there's 21 of you in this room right now. This is the prophecy. This is what the Lord is saying. You each have to give $1,000. Need $21,000. And there's 21 of you in here. And if you think it's you.

[Drew]

Thousand dollars from each person.

[C]

Yes. It's crazy. And I was like, oh, wow, there's.

[D]

21 of you scamming.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

The church is a scam. Is that.

[Drew]

Yeah, I feel like we're. We're definitely running low on people who make things.

[D]

People don't make anything anymore.

[Drew]

People just make like songs. People make songs like on their iPhone.

[D]

Music, less music. Too many people.

[Drew]

Physical food, us. We need more furniture. Like, why are people making like chairs.

[D]

And my dream in life is psychedel furniture maker. I just. That's like literally my dream in life. Like a hot lesbian furniture maker. 40 years old.

[Drew]

We can find that. Or actually, I don't know if the 40 year old aspect is going to come from the viewership of this, but there has to be like a sexy.

[D]

I'm not really seeking like love from this podcast right now because I'm really full of it. Right.

[C]

Have we been recording?

[Drew]

Yeah, we have been. Well, Barbie was just saying she's full of.

[C]

I was taking a piss. This.

[Drew]

You didn't wash your hands.

[D]

And did you say anything quietly to yourselves in case anyone was listening?

[C]

Oh, yeah, I like shouted it like you said earlier. Yeah, I said if you're listening to me pee right now, you're a exact.

[D]

You got.

[Drew]

That's a good one. That's a good one. Well, the thing is I do put a mic and a camera up there, but down there, but for myself just to see my own piss patterns.

[C]

And the shower. Shower in our house, we just have cameras in there, but it's literally just secure security camera.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's just for safety.

[D]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But yeah, we need more people making things. Make like everybody wants to make music, everybody wants to make art. Everybody wants to make things.

[D]

Okay. I was just saying my dream is to date a furniture maker.

[Drew]

I don't know what he's claiming he made.

[D]

I want to design the furniture because I'm not really sure I'm an ideas kind of guy.

[Drew]

Yeah. So you design it and then they make it.

[D]

Did you really make this?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Wait. It's so cute. Wait, I know.

[C]

I do make things.

[D]

Maybe we should just have children and.

[C]

Yeah, we'll have tinkering creators.

[D]

How did you make this? Like, what's it made out of?

[C]

3D printer.

[D]

That's a lot of technology.

[C]

Yeah, I'M kind of a genius.

[D]

That is, like, actually genius coded. Like, I don't remember anything about a 3D machine. I know about it through, like, you know, rumblings.

[C]

I'm pretty impressed.

[Drew]

Rumblings.

[D]

I love it. Yeah.

[Drew]

I mean, like, I think I was thinking more like. Like. Like, you know, know, things she can use, because I don't think that's, Like, I would.

[D]

I actually do love, like, a little Chotchki little trinket.

[C]

But.

[Drew]

But can you build a couch?

[D]

Can you.

[C]

Hello. I'm sitting on it right now. I built this with my bare hands.

[D]

Can you put. Can you install marble countertops to any place?

[C]

Absolutely not.

[D]

I think you could watch a YouTube video and do it.

[C]

I could figure it out for sure, but I'm just not strong enough.

[Drew]

People who do that kind of doubt.

[D]

I think you are strong. Putting it down, baby.

[C]

They're listening. They're listening.

[D]

He puts it down. You have no idea how resilient we have just been going at it.

[C]

Banging.

[Drew]

I mean, you can only do so much in three days.

[C]

Pegging. Hello.

[D]

Hello. Pegging. Role play.

[C]

Lots of role play. Disney, like, bonding. Role play.

[D]

We still have not figured out, oh, we're gonna be Woody and Jesse, and.

[Drew]

I guess I'll be the horse or something.

[D]

The horse.

[C]

Give us a good name.

[Drew]

I'm not doing that.

[D]

I would love to hear a name.

[Drew]

That was the craziest bullying I've ever experienced in my life.

[D]

Drew.

[Drew]

Asking me to give a nay.

[D]

And did. Did you?

[Drew]

No, I can't. That's just too much. It's too embarrassing.

[C]

But I guess maybe while we're there.

[Drew]

If you guys get me in the mood.

[C]

True.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

True.

[Drew]

Why don't we just, like, try to squash this all together? And I could just join, but I don't want to be around you. I'll just stick with poly. Yeah.

[D]

And we kind of look like we could be, like, related a little bit. So that's like.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

More enticing. Generations.

[Drew]

This. The sisters, and then the guy who's just, like, kind of around.

[C]

I'm down for a poly vibe. Always have been, always will be.

[D]

I'm open.

[Drew]

Yeah, but I don't want open. If. If I'm gonna join, it has to be, like.

[D]

You know, Sister Wives style.

[Drew]

Oh, Sister Wives could be good.

[D]

You guys already have, like, a strong bond. You guys live together. Like, I'm just, like, kind of like the third.

[Drew]

We'll just move into your place.

[D]

I got a lot of animals.

[C]

I'll take over Cowboy's space.

[D]

I know Cowboy's cute, but he's just. I have so many animals, dude.

[C]

I'm like, I love all of your critters. They're all perfect.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

They're also crawling everywhere. Yeah. I see my bathroom, like, my cat just like. Like a whole toilet paper roll. Undid all of it. And it's just on the floor. And I'm sitting. I'm sitting looking at it, taking pictures. I won't fix it.

[Drew]

I was taking pictures to send my friends, but I'm not going to.

[D]

If there's no one witnessing me, then I'll do nothing. There's like, if there's nothing, no one coming over, I will not do anything.

[Drew]

That's how I am.

[C]

Yeah. I feel like I'm the same.

[Drew]

Literally, before you came over, we picked up because we were like, this shit's crazy.

[D]

So thank you.

[Drew]

We picked up to impressed for you.

[D]

I do that when you guys come over too. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

Just like. I feel like anytime someone's coming over, you have to just like, kick certain things under. Certain things. It's like, I'm not like, dirty person.

[D]

But I'm a mess. Like, I just like, throw things on the ground. Yeah.

[Drew]

I wouldn't consider. I've never been in your home and felt like it was dirty.

[C]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I don't think you're, like, as messy as you think, but everybody thinks they're messy.

[D]

Have a different standard.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[D]

They want to walk around the block. They want, want everything clean, organized, you know? You know, so to me, I'm like a failure. Like, I'm not drinking black coffee from, like, a local coffee shop. I am, you know, giving capitalist, like, pig drinking my Starbucks cold brew.

[Drew]

You're getting your stars in and do.

[C]

You have the app, the reward points?

[Drew]

That's crazy.

[D]

But can I confess something? This is probably, like, the most, like, stupid, like, like, LA thing I do is I like, Postmates a single Starbucks almost every morning. Is that ridiculous?

[Drew]

I actually can't say anything about that because I was in an era where I was postmating a coffee and avocado toast from Go get them, tiger every morning. Sometimes you just need it.

[D]

I have a little espresso machine and I just, like, cannot. I. I. The past six months, I'm telling you, it's been six months of me, like, literally just. I've been really into my, like, American brands of fast food. I've been really just like, jumping into my Lana era of just being like, so normcore that I am going to have the Starbucks in the morning.

[Drew]

We're literally backtracking. Everybody wanted their life to be so spectacular for, like, the tick tocks and the videos and all this. And we're just realizing that's over consumption and we don't need that. And what we need to do is give our body Starbucks. Exactly. No, literally.

[C]

It's actually crazy, though, that we haven't spoken about Lana once, this entire podcast until just then.

[Drew]

When you brought up Brazil, I was almost like, oh, I really wanted to go to Brazil because she was playing.

[C]

First concert in four years.

[D]

And when I was in Brazil, everyone's like, are you coming back for, like, Lana's concert? I'm like, I wish I would have. I was watching it and there was like. Like, zoom in of, like, these fans just, like, crying. I was like, me. Every time I was like, me.

[Drew]

I know. Imagine having that kind of foot of yourself. I don't know if I need that footage of myself.

[C]

It's crazy how much bigger she's gotten, even in, like, the last year. Like, she was huge. Like, don't get me wrong. Like, she was like, she evolved pop star, but, like, she's having her moment right now.

[D]

She contains multitudes that she tweeted one. She really does. She. Like, every era is different.

[Drew]

I think we can end it because we literally have so much. There was a period where the camera died for 15 minutes. Sorry. Kai just, like, obviously isn't doing his job. Like, why?

[C]

Yeah, he's on that damn phone.

[D]

There's a lot going on.

[C]

But, guys, on his phone at work right now.

[Drew]

Kai's drunken on his phone at work right now.

[D]

He's always drunk and it's like 2p. Oh, it's 3pm now. Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're not.

[D]

Yeah, when you're 30, it's like, yeah.

[Drew]

I guess once we get there, we'll know, but we're just, like, so far from that. We're just, like, so young and, like, fragile and potential petites. Like, I don't know.

[D]

Oh, my God, I'm like a little girl. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I have no idea.

[Drew]

We have no idea.

[C]

We have a tradition, which I'm sure you know of. On every episode, we pick some media from the week that we enjoyed or listen to. Music, tv, movie, whatever. It's giving. So if you want to say some, you can, but say some. I'll start.

[D]

No, go ahead, go ahead.

[C]

Okay. Placebo Syndrome by Parliament. I heard this in. In Escuela when we were there, and I had to go ask the girl for this. Yep. Things In Life by Dennis Brown. Blue Moon by Elvis Presley. It's those two songs are in a movie that I watched like two years ago and I cannot remember the movie, but it's like, about people riding a train and there's like a leather jacket that's really iconic in it. But I. That's all I can remember about riding a train.

[D]

Is it like a couple.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Is it the before with Ethan Hawk.

[C]

And that might be. It might be.

[D]

Is it before movies? Before sunset or whatever they're called?

[C]

It might actually be like sunrise, sunset. I think it might be.

[D]

Yeah. With the French girl. I don't see jacket.

[C]

I don't know.

[Drew]

Sorry. I just got confused because my mom does not speak English, but she said, okay, it was just to greet you. That was her reply to me, greet.

[D]

You at the door.

[Drew]

Of course I said. Cuz she called me. I said, one, one, one second, I'm working. And then in English back. I didn't send my message in English. It was in Spanish. And she goes, okay, it was just to greet you. So she's being kidnapped. The killer is texting me from my mom's phone right now.

[D]

Yeah, Like a little word that if anything happens. Have you seen those, like, fake, like, calls where it comes from, like a contact of you? Yes, I have. Your sister.

[C]

Yeah, I would fall for that. That's a scam. I would.

[Drew]

Yeah, I would fully fall for it. Once you, like, say, my family's a day jar. I'm like, I knew they would get.

[C]

Kidnapped, napped, because I'm literally going to do that to you.

[D]

Yeah, we do. I do prank call. I'm not very good at it, but.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, I forgot about prank calling.

[C]

That was like, our first, like, bonding moment.

[D]

Yeah, we prank call some incredible people.

[Drew]

Yeah, we'll. We'll get into that.

[C]

Yeah, literally.

[D]

Dude, I know.

[Drew]

It's such a bad habit. We use, like, all of our friends. Like, that's the only thing we use, like, our, like, famous friends for is for prank calling. Like, I don't think me and Drew are people who will, like, get on a platform and be like, so. I'm for friends with so and so. But what we will do is corner you or anybody else who has contacts.

[D]

With, like, like, answer their phone.

[Drew]

I know, it's really annoying.

[D]

I'm like, grow up.

[Drew]

It's like once you start getting down the tier list, then they start answering honestly. That's like, almost even better. It's almost even better.

[D]

Like, I like it when it's just like a person you know that grinding.

[Drew]

Yeah, I know.

[D]

Somebody's still doing Wildly Known.

[C]

I forgot who it was, but. But it was a girl, and I called her, and I was like, I'm driving around your neighborhood, and there was a baby on your roof.

[Drew]

I. I do remember.

[C]

Yes. Literally. And I was like, oh, there's like, a baby crawling around your roof. And then did she call back and she was, no, no.

[Drew]

You just got her on the phone for.

[C]

She was like, yeah, that's what it.

[Drew]

Was like, because it was so confusing. But we got to get back together and do prank calls and maybe let's just call, like, random places. They'll answer.

[C]

That's the best. Is to call Taco Bell and say, someone is stuck in the bell.

[Drew]

I love the.

[D]

We have Drake. That it, like, really is like, oh.

[C]

I'll just say we have Aubrey Graham.

[Drew]

We love. Like, me and Drew love calling Zach B. And telling him we have Drake.

[C]

We'll be like, we have Aubrey Graham. Give us $1,000.

[Drew]

And each time, it has been linked back to us. So I think at this point, like, he doesn't answer, and then we leave the voice mode. We almost get no reply at this.

[C]

Point, like, it's just, like, crazy.

[Drew]

It's like, oh, it's like my monthly. We have.

[D]

It's part of the bit.

[Drew]

Like, I know where's all the fun and laughter.

[D]

Let it go. Just have some fun.

[C]

Yeah, let go of the ego, you know, that's what I've always been saying.

[Drew]

That's why we're different. Like, our ego is dead, you know? Like, we're just like, real people.

[C]

I did a bunch of hallucinogens when I was 16.

[D]

Ego death was real. Yeah.

[C]

Very real.

[Drew]

Okay, well, do you want to do your media?

[D]

Yeah. I'm not gonna say music, because my music taste is, like, awful of. But I've been watching a lot of tv, so I'll say this. I've been watching the other two. Fantastic. The new season. So fun.

[C]

I watched the first episode because you said to watch it.

[D]

I think it's so funny. I. Obviously, it can. Yeah, it's great. I think everyone's just really good at it. I'm watching. I watched Succession last night, obviously. Are you guys into Succession?

[C]

I have been letting the season collect, so I can binge it all in two days.

[D]

Is it not a thing that, like, I. When I first started watching Succession, I accidentally started watching, like, a different episode of a different season. I didn't know because that's how hard is to follow, but it's so good. What else have I been watching?

[C]

Is the season the newest season over?

[D]

Yeah, like, the whole show's done. Yesterday was the finale.

[C]

Heartbreaking. Okay, so I get to rewatch the whole season.

[D]

What else did I watch? Well, this is in New Orleans. I was doing a horror movie, so I just almost exclusively watch, like, SpongeBob. And, like, I watched the hotel. Hotel Transylvania 1, 2, and 3.

[C]

Oh, they're good.

[D]

And eat. I've been really not into, like, narratives right now I'm really into into, like, lobotomy shows, so. And movies. So Hotel Transylvania for sure. 1 and 3. 2 was kind of whatever. What else you.

[Drew]

About Transylvania?

[D]

Like, yeah, like, two was, like, whatever. One and three is, like, a masterpiece. What else? Yeah, that's SpongeBob. I really do recommend a rewatch of every single SpongeBob episode.

[Drew]

Yeah, I need to tap in, because every time I go to watch it, I start at the new season, and I just, like, don't want to watch new episodes.

[D]

And, like, work your way up and out now. It's really good. It's like, I really needed something that made me think nothing, and it's perfect.

[Drew]

Okay, I need to tap back into that, because, yeah, I've just been watching, like, I've been back on my murder documentary, and I'm like, okay, I need to, like, mix it up, because this is all I watch. And now I'm getting back to thinking that everybody is the killer, and I can't keep calling people the killer.

[C]

The killer is, like, here, Williams.

[D]

I mean, the killer's in this room right now.

[Drew]

I mean, yeah, right? He's been here the whole time.

[D]

Time.

[Drew]

Mine is. It's you, Kai. Come on. Like, duh. Keep those Teardrops From Falling by Natalie Bergman. Which is, like, all I do on this podcast is complain about people who make new music. That sounds old. But that song got me. I thought it was an old song, but now when I listen to it, the ending of it is so obviously a new song trying to be old, but it still gets away with it because it was a really good song. But then all my other stuff is, like, repetition. I've been thinking of listening to the album All Things Must Pass by George Harrison, which I know is a beetle. And, like, that's the worst thing to happen to me. But I already said that. And I like the Beatles.

[D]

Not. Yeah, I went to, like. Like, yeah, Like, I sure.

[Drew]

Yeah, put her in a position that I've already put myself in.

[D]

Listen, the Beatles is a band, and when I was, like, in choir like, as a kid, that's, like, always saying. And, like, I went to. I was, like, kind of forced to go to this, like, Broadway, like, Beatles rendition, like, like, show and W. So I can say, like, I'm a little bit of an expert.

[Drew]

Yeah. So you've got. You've got your stars, so I think that's all you need, really.

[D]

I wouldn't say I listen to them like, on, like. But also the music I listen to is, like, actually just, like, noises.

[C]

Give me one. One. One shitty song you listen to. I'm so curious.

[Drew]

And then the last one is Think.

[D]

I think they're shitty. But.

[C]

You don't have to. You don't have to.

[D]

I'm actually just looking like, what I like. It's literally, like, so predictable. I love, like, hyper Pop. Like, I'm not gonna lie.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Big hyperpop.

[D]

Big into hyperpop. Who's your. What do you listen to? Hyperpop? I'm, like, giving old head. I'm like, I wonder the kids listening to these days. I don't know.

[C]

I. I mean, I just like the classics like Hannah Diamond. Love Hannah diamond.

[Drew]

And damn, Hannah diamond is such a throwback. That's so crazy.

[C]

And I mean, so, of course, rest in peace, like, all of them. Is A.G. cook, the. The one that, like, makes the Charlie lot. Yeah, Charlie is the.

[D]

As we know, the goat.

[Drew]

But, yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on.

[D]

I can't believe I'm the only first guest.

[C]

Yeah. And maybe the only guest ever.

[D]

Okay. I. Wow. I just like to thank everyone for listening.

[C]

You're so special to us.

[D]

You're special to me.

[Drew]

And now we get to go have a little snack because I think I'm.

[D]

The way I just held your hand is so out of control. It's out of control.

[C]

It's like, help.

[Drew]

Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on. Actually, it's crazy also. I just, like. Usually we just say bye, and we're like, all right, that's it. Bye. But now that we have a guest.

[D]

I'm like, there should be some music.

[Drew]

Like, we'll just fade in music and we'll just, like, keep talking and, like, let us fade out. You know that. Oh, my God.

[C]

Wait, hold on.

[Drew]

That was amazing.

[C]

That was good.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th, score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal, drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies, and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event Long Savings Savings Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.