drew got arrested at disneyland

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary - "Drew Got Arrested at Disneyland"

Release Date: December 1, 2023
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: A comedy podcast where Enya and Drew navigate humorous and often outrageous topics, delivering sharp banter and unexpected insights.

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1. Spotify Wrapped & Top Artists Discussion (00:46 - 06:07)

The episode kicks off with the hosts diving into Spotify Wrapped, sharing their unique listening habits and top artists for the year. Kai emphasizes his distinct approach to music consumption, asserting, "It means I'm better than you... I'm built different" (01:58). Drew counters by expressing confusion over Kai's claims, leading to a playful debate about their musical preferences.

Notable Quote:

• Kai: "I listen to music differently from everyone... I'm the biggest bro." (01:58)
• Drew: "Everybody listens to music kind of the same." (02:24)

2. Recollections of Friend Groups and Late-Night Activities (07:06 - 10:28)

The hosts reminisce about their past friend groups, highlighting how their late-night hangouts have evolved. Drew shares nostalgic memories of recording each other and watching music videos, contrasting it with their current lifestyle where late nights are less frequent and more subdued. The conversation shifts to Josiah's penchant for pulling out random podcast mics, forcing impromptu raps and songs, adding a layer of chaos to their gatherings.

Notable Quote:

• Drew: "We would just get up all the time and hang out in the house and record each other doing stupid..." (07:20)
• Josiah: "We have 30 to 50 just though. Of the worst songs you've ever heard..." (09:02)

3. The Disneyland Arrest Incident (16:14 - 32:19)

The core of the episode revolves around Drew's unexpected arrest at Disneyland. Kai introduces the topic with dramatic flair, prompting a series of humorous and exaggerated confessions.

Key Points:

• Alleged Incident: Kai admits to being naked at Disneyland's "It's a Small World" attraction, leading to a security intervention and his subsequent arrest for indecent exposure (17:38).
• Host Reactions: Drew and Josiah react with disbelief and mock-seriousness, debating the legitimacy and consequences of Kai's actions. They discuss the potential legal ramifications and the absurdity of the situation, injecting humor throughout.
• Inserted Video Description: A brief overview is provided, describing a man in his underwear causing a delay at the ride and being apprehended by Anaheim police (18:17).

Notable Quotes:

• Kai: "It was me naked on It's a Small World at Disney World or Disneyland." (17:38)
• Drew: "I feel like that's almost more damning, but I guess you could play the insanity card in court." (19:07)
• Kai: "I need to right my wrongs." (19:10)
• Drew: "You really have so much depth to you that to try to explain something so complex in something as mundane and just earthly as a podcast would make no sense." (19:27)

4. Speculations and Backstories (32:19 - 38:55)

Following the arrest incident, the hosts delve into speculative storytelling, concocting elaborate backstories and familial connections related to the incident.

Key Points:

• Gypsy Rose Connection: Kai invents a narrative linking Kai and Drew to Gypsy Rose, suggesting familial ties and dramatic replacements due to criminal activities. This segment is filled with absurd humor and improvisational storytelling.
• Imaginary Scenarios: The discussion includes surreal ideas like shifting realms, body transformations, and fantastical elements interwoven with the comedic dialogue.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai: "If Gypsy Rose, Ms. Rose and your team, if you are hearing this, I want you on this podcast more than anything..." (31:56)
• Drew: "She was in Springfield, Missouri. That is. I'm not." (30:42)
• Kai: "We'll insert the picture for everybody, but, like." (39:12)

5. Light-Hearted Banter and Future Plans (38:55 - 55:35)

The conversation shifts back to lighter topics, including discussions about OnlyFans, emoji creations, and personal aesthetics. The hosts engage in playful teasing and genuine appreciation for each other's vulnerabilities.

Key Points:

• OnlyFans Humor: Kai jokes about starting an OnlyFans account, leading to humorous exchanges about potential subscriber behavior and content.
• Emoji Segment: They brainstorm ideas for Drew's personalized emojis, blending humor with creative suggestions.
• Fashion and Identity: Kai shares confident sentiments about wearing dresses and embracing femininity, receiving heartfelt responses from Drew.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai: "I'm just a man that isn't afraid to dress nice. And if that means I'm in a dress, that means I'm in a dress." (54:36)
• Drew: "Sometimes you say things that I'm like, you are so brave and vulnerable, and, like, I look up to you..." (55:16)
• Kai: "Confidence is... you are beautiful." (49:32)

6. Closing Remarks and Final Banter (55:35 - 60:19)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts continue their trademark banter, touching on topics like media consumption, personal anecdotes, and humorous scenarios.

Key Points:

• Media Discussions: They briefly mention anime shows like "Eden of the East" and upcoming movie plans, including attending a Beyoncé-related event.
• Final Banter: The hosts engage in a mix of sincere appreciation and playful teasing, maintaining the episode's comedic tone until the very end.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew: "I have never done dating apps. I don't think I ever will because, like, I just get whole thrown at me like, I don't need all that." (35:59)
• Kai: "By the way, not every Lady Gaga fan is gay. We exist." (58:53)
• Drew: "I'm going to make it." (56:35)

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Conclusion

"Drew Got Arrested at Disneyland" serves as a quintessential episode of Emergency Intercom, blending outrageous humor with candid conversations. The hosts expertly navigate between light-hearted banter and elaborate storytelling, ensuring an engaging experience for both regular listeners and newcomers. The centerpiece of the episode—the fictionalized account of an arrest at Disneyland—provides ample comedic material, enhanced by the hosts' quick wit and dynamic chemistry.

Highlighted Moments:

• Kai's Arrest Story (17:38): The dramatic revelation of Kai's antics at Disneyland sets the tone for the episode's humor.
• Friendly Teasing (55:35 - 57:34): The playful exchanges about OnlyFans and personal aesthetics showcase the hosts' camaraderie.
• Sincere Compliments (49:27 - 49:34): Moments of genuine appreciation add depth to the otherwise comedic narrative.

Recommendation:
This episode is a must-listen for fans seeking a blend of humor, candid discussions, and the unpredictable charm that Enya and Drew bring to Emergency Intercom. Whether you're into playful storytelling or enjoy quick-witted banter, "Drew Got Arrested at Disneyland" delivers an entertaining mix that keeps you hooked from start to finish.

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Timestamp Key: Each timestamp in the summary refers to the minute and second markers in the provided transcript, allowing listeners to easily locate specific segments discussed.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous? Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adid and more at your DSW store or dsw.com.

[Kai]

Welcome back to Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

Hi. Hi. Hi.

[Kai]

Hello. Okay.

[Drew]

Kai took out his headphones.

[Josiah]

Apparently so loud, but it was beautiful. But it was loud.

[Kai]

Thank you. So Spotify wrapped released today. And it's very special, but I want to make it very clear that I listen to music differently from everyone and like, the music I listen to is special to me. And it's. It means I'm better than you. Like what I listen to, I think.

[Drew]

What do you mean you listen to it differently, though? I think you might find that people kind of just like, list. Everybody listens to music kind of the same.

[Kai]

It's not the same. It's not the same. The way I, like, indulge in music, it means more to me.

[Drew]

Oh, okay. But like, how?

[Kai]

It's just different. Like, that's all I can say. I'm just built different. I'm biggest bro. Like, I put everybody on. So, like, it's just like, what are.

[Drew]

You putting people on to? Like, what are the artists like? Kind of like the underground artists.

[Kai]

You're Coldplay, Beyonce, Lana Del Rey. Just to Name a few.

[Drew]

Do you know. Do you even know Imagine Dragons, though?

[Kai]

Imagine dragging these nuts across your face. Nah. But do you know what a CD is? You've been collecting CDs. Yeah, CDs, nuts.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. You know what's crazy is my Spotify listens went down because since I got so I got my nice CD player this year, I just listen to music at night. Like, I used to be one of those freak elites and you know this who would play Spotify like, music at night. Now I just listen to my CD. So imagine if my CDs were added to that. Who knows what would have made my top album?

[Kai]

Yeah, I only listened to, I think 9, 000 minutes of music this year.

[Drew]

Really?

[Kai]

I. When I was saying I'm not in love with music right now, I literally don't give a about it. Like, music means nothing to me right now.

[Drew]

But you just said you're different.

[Kai]

Yeah, like, when I do listen to music, I say, oh, you, you.

[Drew]

You're satiating it like. Or it's satiating you. Like, you let a hunger build and then you're like, oh, I need this deep, deep void. Full and satiated.

[Kai]

Yeah, I need like the hole in me filled deep with, like, music.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Like, I want it just filled where it's like almost oozing out.

[Drew]

Totally. I hope people like my outfit today. I feel like people kind of watch and like, oh, my God, I wonder what she's gonna wear today. And I really hope today people are like, wow, she's put something bricked as fit. She's put something extraordinary on.

[Kai]

You don't know Miami. Like, I know Miami, though.

[Drew]

I'm from Miami.

[Kai]

I built that city. No, that's my city.

[Drew]

Oh, that's your city. Well, that's funny because LA is my city and I built this with my bare hands. And people are always complaining about the infrastructure. And I'm like, hello. And imagine one woman building a city all alone like that. It's hard enough. But yeah, Spotify wrapped and like Apple, okay, The Apple Rewind, it's not even. Because I have Apple music too, but it's not even in the app. You have to get to Safari. Like, they don't even run it in the app. Like, I was on safari looking at.

[Kai]

My Apple Rewind, and it feels like when I type in that or that link or my information into that link, that someone random just made it and is hacking me. Like, literally how I feel about it. And, like, it's just someone collecting data and information of all your Passwords and logins, and I just do not trust it. But, like, y' all tried. Like, y' all tried it, but you'll never be Spotify. Like, just give it up.

[Drew]

I reign supreme. I'm sorry. Like, it's just true. And it's always, always, always been like that, too.

[Kai]

Yeah. Since literally the dawn of time. The day I downloaded it in ninth grade math class. It has consumed my entire listening.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's crazy, because I had Spotify in fifth grade, I think.

[Kai]

Oh, really?

[Drew]

It, like, started, I think, in 2006. And, yeah, by sixth grade, I had it.

[Josiah]

It did?

[Kai]

Well, I was, like, three years old in 2005 or 2006.

[Drew]

Okay, well, you should have been on one. Like.

[Kai]

Yeah, okay. Okay. But, yeah, let's go through our top. Should we do top five artists?

[Drew]

Yeah, let's do top five artists.

[Kai]

Okay, I'll let you go first.

[Drew]

Mines are funny. Mine is my top artist. I can never say his name, which is embarrassing, because he's my top artist. But Laby Sifre. Like, two is George Harrison. Three is hall and Oats. Four is the Sundays, and five is Robin Gutry. Robin Gutry. Oh, look at this. Stat. I didn't send this in the group chat because I actually don't know how I was able to. Like, this has to be a feat.

[Kai]

A feet. Where's feet? Wait, let me. Where's the feet? Let me see the feet. What feet?

[Drew]

No, I meant, like, a feature. Like a feet. Like, what the. Do you want to see my feet? Because I don't have socks on under this, so I could show you my feet really easily. No, don't do that.

[Kai]

You can't say the word feet and not expect me to see some feet. I'm gonna throw a fit if I don't see feet. Hey, featuring the feet. I'm a footy lover.

[Drew]

I love feet.

[Kai]

I love features. I love smelling feet and looking at them. Look at me. Look at me. Look at my feet.

[Drew]

Body. Body. I think we've talked about it. Our socks.

[Kai]

Yeah. We have not.

[Drew]

Oh, we haven't?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Okay, so we get really, like, deliriously tired. This is the crazy thing. Two thoughts. One, our friend group. Like, I was looking back at, like, old memories and, like, close friend stuff and, like, all my fins up. Our friend group, like, most friend groups who, like, live alone and, like, start hanging out alone for the first time without adult supervision. We would just get up all the time and hang out in the house and record each other doing stupid and just, like, hang out all night. Always ending the night with music videos. Now we are at a point where we start looking at the music videos dead sober at like 10. And by 12:30, we're all like, should we go to bed? Yeah, this is like, I'm really tired. Like, this is, like, kind of too time consuming for me right now. And then the other thing is, I don't want to hang out with you guys anymore.

[Kai]

Okay. That's why I don't want to hang out today either. So you would know a lot about that, wouldn't you?

[Drew]

You know a lot about not wanting to hang out with your friends, wouldn't you?

[Kai]

Oh, I don't know what Walmart is.

[Drew]

No. The other thing is we also now stay up way too late. Well, It'll be like 4am we're all dead sober. Sometimes I'm the only one in the room who's like, I'm the highest in the room. And we, Josiah will get on his fucking raggedy ass laptop, steal one of our podcast mics, and drag it into the living room and force us to start, like, rapping and, like, singing on random tracks he finds on YouTube. And the way we find them is we're like, what are we feeling tonight?

[Kai]

Okay, we're feeling like Cardi, Lana Del Rey vibe.

[Drew]

Lana Del Rey type B. Me and Josie really want to do a cover of something. But that's on a different tangent. We've been talking about doing a cover of, like, Yummy by Justin Bieber for actually, like, since the day it came out.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But we have all these awful songs which literally, if you want to make.

[Kai]

Any of us, you have. We have 30 to 50 just though. Of the worst songs you've ever heard in your entire life.

[Drew]

I want to, like, look up if I have the one from. Oh, this.

[Josiah]

Is that like a genre of music that doesn't exist.

[Kai]

I know. Josiah's on to some.

[Drew]

Why did he.

[Kai]

Let's go to the tennis court and I'll show you what I made of.

[Drew]

Like, why did he say, I think because we looked up Lord type B. Yeah.

[Kai]

And then he was like, oh, tennis court. So. But he didn't mean like that. He meant like, I'll. We'll play tennis back and forth and I'll beat you in tenants. Like, what does that mean?

[Drew]

But yeah, we have so many, like, songs and shit like that that literally, if you ever want to make us uncomfortable, just ask Josiah to pull that fucking laptop out. That's also the dangerous thing is only Josiah has them. Like, me and Drew literally don't have them. And if we bring people over, Josiah will be like, want to see something?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And then just start playing it. We have to, like, beg him to stop. Okay. One of my Spotify rap things that's, like, actually freaked me out, and I don't know how I did. This is. You peaked on October 27th at 5, period. You pe.

[Kai]

You peaked in 2017 with your.

[Drew]

Oh, you peaked when you were 3 because you didn't have Spotify yet.

[Kai]

You fucking know when you were doing your little music videos on YouTube, that's when you peaked.

[Drew]

My playlist video. Your playlist literally was my peak. You peaked on October 27th at 584 minutes of listening that day. That is nine hours of consecutive listening. I think I was on set and they gave me ox. So I was just terrorizing everybody with only my music all day. And then when we had breaks when it wasn't, I was like, headphones on, world.

[Josiah]

Oh, interesting.

[Drew]

Music is my drug. Like, that's. See, you don't understand because you. You're addicted to SSRIs.

[Kai]

You're weird as. Yeah. Honestly, if you're on SSRIs, you have an addiction.

[Josiah]

Can I just say when I'm up? That's the real me. Okay. Okay, guys.

[Kai]

Yeah. The truth comes out when you're drunk.

[Josiah]

I don't listen to music because there's always an orchestral string symphony playing in my head.

[Drew]

That's it. Is that the. That's the.

[Josiah]

No, that's not what it is. It's beautiful. I wish I could share with you.

[Kai]

Well, you have synesthesia. I was gonna say I have synesthesia, so.

[Drew]

Okay. Sorry, I'm, like, haul, like, stalling for my top artist. Oh, no, I already said you go. You go, girl.

[Kai]

Okay, so mine is different. Like, you've probably never heard of these people before just because, like I said, I listen to music differently. And you're better. I'm better. I'm. I'm better. I'm allowed to say that I'm better than most people or I'm a narcissist.

[Drew]

No, it's just a confidence.

[Kai]

The truth. It's not even confidence. It's just the truth. Like, I'm better than true as fuck. Okay. My first artist is Apex Twin. My second artist, just this. It's like this random duo of twins that make beads together.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Kai]

And then my second artist is Lana Del Rey.

[Drew]

Wait, who's that?

[Kai]

She's, like, this gay musician.

[Drew]

She's gay or.

[Kai]

No, she makes music for gays.

[Drew]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Kai]

But I don't that's probably. I listen to it because it's hot.

[Drew]

I don't know it.

[Kai]

I listen to it her because she's hot.

[Drew]

And I mean, if she makes music for gay people, she's not on my top hop listens. But she's on your. Okay, that makes sense.

[Kai]

No, no, I was. I just explained it. She has boobs. So dumb. And I listen to her.

[Drew]

That's all it takes.

[Kai]

Yeah. Next is. Okay, this is actually what they call me, ironically enough. And it somehow ended up in my top. But this is like my nickname. But I'm called Death Grips. The band's called Death Grips?

[Drew]

Yeah, because you got that death grip back.

[Kai]

I got that grippy, grippy, whippy man. Fourth is 1o tricks point never gets no. Guy who listens to 100 tricks point never opn gets no. And then my fifth one is boards of Canada.

[Drew]

That sounds like the fact that you Death Grips is in your top listens makes you a very terrifying person.

[Kai]

No, it's not true. Like, I posted it on my story. Like, they have been in my top for, like, three years now. And I posted it the first year that it switched in, like, 2020 or something. And, like, a buddy of Min and Matt, like, responded and was like, are you okay? Like, like, is everything okay? And I was like, yeah, why? And they were like, oh, you're.

[Drew]

That being one of your top artists is, like, destructive.

[Kai]

It's not chill. But no, they. They make, like, good music, period.

[Drew]

Yeah, I mean, they really do. We were listening to so much. I was listening to so much. Seth Grips by proxy in 2020 because of you.

[Kai]

Yeah, they're lit. Like, that's all.

[Drew]

They have a lot of songs that aren't that scary. Somebody actually at the front.

[Kai]

No, no, Billy, not really that what.

[Drew]

Was just playing in my head. But somebody at Thanksgiving was like, I'm thankful for music that when I first listen, used to scare the out of me. But I have acclimated my brain into enjoying terrifying sounds.

[Kai]

And I'm thankful for artists who scare me literally. Drink.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like Blade. You don't seek out and find Blade. Blade seeks out and finds you when you're ready.

[Josiah]

Okay, I agree. I agree, period.

[Kai]

Also, Spotify for podcasters released a wrapped of our emergency intercom wrapped. And one surprising fact, which was actually genuinely really cool to hear.

[Drew]

And I don't understand.

[Kai]

I don't get it was more than 40 of our listeners aren't in America.

[Drew]

So where the are y' all from?

[Kai]

Yeah, where are y' all from? Leave a comment like, leave a.

[Drew]

Like, only 68 of our listeners are in America.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Now explain that.

[Kai]

Oh, I guess that's 32.

[Drew]

32 is, like, somewhere else. Where the are you?

[Kai]

Yeah, I know they're in Melbourne and London. I know the are Melbourne and London, but, like, we got Germany on here. We got Ukraine on here. We got Poland on here. We got South Korea and Japan.

[Drew]

Come on. Those are, like, our, like, the countries that, like, we're really popping, which is, like, to me, so random. Like, what?

[Kai]

We are kawaii coated, though. Like, it makes sense that we'd be in Japan.

[Drew]

No, because I got that swag. Yeah, that's on me.

[Kai]

Yeah, you got that Gilbert Godfrey swag.

[Drew]

Who the is that?

[Kai]

I don't even know.

[Drew]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Kai]

Oh, he's like. Like, the grouchy one.

[Drew]

Like, my name is Gilbert. God Rain. He plays the parrot in Aladdin probably.

[Kai]

I don't know. That's a deep cut.

[Josiah]

It sounds right.

[Drew]

What was I gonna say? What was I gonna say? Oh. Our top listed episode this year is Women Should Cheat More.

[Kai]

Yeah. And it's, like, a landslide.

[Drew]

Yeah. And it's our most shared. Like, it had, like. Like, a 300 more sharing rate than any other episode, and it was, like, played back over 800 and, like, 50 times.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So we're doing good. We're doing good. We are spreading positivity. We are making changes. A lot of y' all talk about feminism, and you're not actually pushing a feminist narrative and agenda, but we are pushing it and so spreading it and licking it from top to bottom and sealing that envelope and sending it off to the world. I was talking about an envelope.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Sounded just, like, a little weird there, but I don't think it's weird. Okay.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

I'm gonna get really serious for a moment.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Dead serious. Like, stop smiling. Like, this is real. Why are y' all laughing?

[Drew]

No, I'm always smiling because I'm just so happy.

[Kai]

This is really real. And. Okay, so I'm sure some of y' all have seen the video that I'm about to talk about.

[Drew]

No. RPR said don't talk about it.

[Kai]

I don't give a about rpr. This is very serious. And this is me, literally, Colleen Ballinger, be like, yeah, for real. But there's this video that came out of me, and I'm just gonna get to the point. It was me naked on It's a Small World at Disney World or Disneyland.

[Drew]

There's no proof it's Though, So I don't know why you're, like, admitting this is the proof you're going to go to jail.

[Kai]

I don't give a.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Like, I need to right my wrongs.

[Drew]

And I don't know if that's a wrong. You can just write by admitting to.

[Kai]

Yeah. If you haven't seen the video, we'll insert it here.

[Drew]

Video shows a man in his underwear walking around the popular attraction It's a Small World. Workers stopped the ride for about an hour as security tried to detain him. At one point, you can see the 26 year old took off all of his clothes and was waiting around in the water near the ride's entrance. Anaheim police eventually responded to the incident to arrest the 26 year old for indecent exposure. Us inserting a nude man in a Disneyland and being like, why are our videos getting demonetized? What's happening?

[Kai]

Yeah, well, we'll insert it before he was full or before I was fully naked. But, you know, really, people are asking, why did. Why did he do it? Why did you do it? I did it because the water feature looks fun to sit on and there's no. There's nothing on anything.

[Drew]

Or you were just like.

[Kai]

I was sober.

[Drew]

Oh, whoa. That's like, really?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I feel like that's almost more damning, but I guess you could play the insanity card in court.

[Kai]

No, no, no.

[Drew]

Oh, you're gonna just like, go.

[Kai]

I just wanted to do it.

[Drew]

Oh, okay.

[Kai]

And I wanted to kick one of those little in the head. The scary It's a Small World little critters like them.

[Drew]

I thought you liked that ride. I'm like, getting so many mixed emotions. It's. I guess it's just like, you have so much depth to you that to try to explain something so complex in something as mundane and just earthly as a podcast would make no sense.

[Kai]

I exist in other realms. Like, truly.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I believe you because I don't know that any sane person who exists in our realm would get butt naked. Nasty. Like a Rick James super freak at It's a Small World.

[Josiah]

Did you have a nice little boner for me when you were naked at the ride?

[Kai]

Sorry, I didn't hear what you said.

[Josiah]

I could repeat it.

[Drew]

No, he chooses what he hears.

[Kai]

I was boring.

[Josiah]

Totally.

[Kai]

I just shifted for like five seconds.

[Drew]

Where did you go?

[Kai]

You don't want to fucking know.

[Drew]

Hey, where'd you go? Come home.

[Kai]

Miami.

[Drew]

Oh, you shifted. You chose to go to Miami.

[Kai]

I spent a lifetime in Miami. I had wife and children.

[Drew]

You had A wife and kids, period. Wait, you can shift into being straight.

[Josiah]

We talked about this. Drew's actually straight, so it's okay.

[Drew]

Sorry.

[Josiah]

I want it. It's just, like, going forward. Yeah, I know. It's like. I don't know. It's only been 100.

[Drew]

I mean, I live with him, so I think I would, like.

[Josiah]

I know, but it just seems like it's not.

[Drew]

But maybe for the sake of the public, I. I should stop.

[Josiah]

Yeah. And I know it's like, he's gone, so I'm gonna say this. It's super hard to remember because he does not seem straight.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

But, like, he is, and I just need you to, like. Yeah, say that.

[Drew]

I guess. I. I don't even. I don't know why I keep doing that. I don't even believe in, like, putting labels on people like that, so I should.

[Josiah]

No, it's the way that he sits and, like, the way that he walks.

[Drew]

Around and the way he looks.

[Josiah]

The way he. Look, totally.

[Drew]

And talks.

[Josiah]

Okay, he's coming. Okay, so just like. Hey, bud.

[Drew]

Hey. I'm sorry. Hey. I just want to say I'm sorry for how many times I've projected onto you.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, you're projecting.

[Drew]

I didn't say what I didn't. I don't know what that one means.

[Kai]

Don't touch me. Don't touch me, then. Okay. I have another topic that I want to explore.

[Drew]

There's no way you have more topics, bro. How do you always have something to say?

[Kai]

I got a lot of to say.

[Drew]

I know. Like, literally, how do we. Like, how do I not shut the up? And when we were in the car on the way to the show yesterday, I was like, oh, my God. I don't. Shut up.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was Sabrina here.

[Drew]

I heard the door close, like, the sl. Like, the softest it's ever closed.

[Josiah]

Dude.

[Kai]

Spooky. Ookie. Hi.

[Drew]

But, yeah, on the way to the show yesterday, I was like, how do I not shut the up?

[Kai]

It was. It was to a point where I was like, whoa. Like, every. You filled every second of silence in that car ride with the most random I've ever heard.

[Drew]

Yeah. My brain was moving at a thousand miles a minute in that car.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah. We didn't even talk about ucsb, but we did a show at ucsb.

[Drew]

Movie, movie.

[Kai]

Shout out to y' all. They wouldn't let us record, which is very big op behavior. Like, don't play, but just know, like, it was legitimately, like, the best live show we've ever done. And we want to do more.

[Josiah]

And when I went out, guys, like, people went crazy.

[Kai]

No, they went silent. Put the, put the clip on.

[Drew]

Okay, so we did bring someone special out that I think you guys are going to be really happy about. Guys, it's Kai.

[Kai]

It's Kai, everybody.

[Drew]

He's not on. He's not on camera, but he's there.

[Kai]

He's like behind the scenes.

[Drew]

If you ever know, if you ever just movie but like Oppenheimer, you guys.

[Josiah]

Can, you know, decide for yourself did the crowd go crazy or not?

[Drew]

You know how in Parasite they do a really good job of like building like, oh my God, I'm so scared of when this comes up the stairs. That's you.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Okay, well, that's you. I was more getting like a JFK vibe where everyone like, oh, like you.

[Drew]

Were going to get shot in the head. I was getting that. I was kind of getting that vibe too.

[Josiah]

Sorry. No, not that. Like when he was like universally loved and people just lose their minds. No John Lennon, no. My parents like text me and they were like, we can't wait to see your big reveal on stage. We like, we can't wait to see it. I'm gonna send them the video and see what they say.

[Kai]

Insert their screenshot. Yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

I hope they have like a devastating reply.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, it was, it was good. Kai came out, everybody went crazy. Then I said, or we set up where Kai came out and it was silent. But Kai is universally loved.

[Josiah]

He loved.

[Kai]

But I did want to talk about this. I was going to talk about it at the show, but I was just like, this is weird to talk about and it just doesn't make sense and I won't be able to fully articulate it. But okay, I want to know like what the videos Tik Tok shows you that have 0 likes, 0 comments, 0 views. Because to me, that's who you really are deep down. Like that all powerful, non sentient being tracking every single movement you make on your phone daily thinks that's what you need to see before everyone else. That to me is who you really are.

[Drew]

You know what's up is when I think about the ones with 0 likes, it's like usually like an older single woman who's kind of slightly drunk or drinking and listening to music.

[Kai]

Oh yeah.

[Drew]

So that is my future.

[Kai]

That's what I truly believe is like the deepest, deepest heart of hearts, who you are. And I want you to ponder that question. Leave a comment down below or wherever you fucking listen. Go to somewhere where you can comment because I'm genuinely curious who you are.

[Drew]

There's no one more insecure than the person who's screenplaying their tick tock feed. And it starts to turn into that. And, like, randomly when tick tock has its switch because you watch too many and it doesn't know what to show you anymore, and you have your moment, you're like, I'm gonna airplay because my timeline's been good. And the second you airplay, it's a million tick tocks with zero likes. And then it's the ones with like 8 million likes that literally are so jarring and, like, they genuinely feel like robots made them. Like, but it's real humans in the tick tock and it doesn't make sense when I.

[Kai]

When I screenplay. The reason I don't or I don't watch tick tock if people are looking over my shoulder is because the amount of thirst traps on my feed is crazy. And I don't need any of y' all seeing what I interact with, like, thirst trap wise, because I fall for thirst traps. Like, I think everybody does. You, like, even as corny as you.

[Drew]

Think it is, like, like, sexy people are sexy. And when they're being sexy, it's like, wait, wait, why are you.

[Kai]

Why are you eating?

[Drew]

Did you know you were sexy? Well, these are my. These are the ads I was getting the other night. And I don't know why it randomly shifted. I literally don't think we can put this on.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, we can, we can.

[Drew]

Okay. No, it's not what it looks like. She just left her piercing in a little too long, and I'm gonna take out all these dead stuff. Skin cells that are compacted in here. Stop fighting your body.

[Kai]

I got that one. I got the rainbow, the hairy butt.

[Drew]

The hairy peach butt.

[Josiah]

It looks like a.

[Drew]

Looks like a cut that leap that you. You cannot say that word.

[Kai]

Don't say that word.

[Drew]

I always forget that I'm showing a rancid hole. It's like, it's not what it looks like, girl. What is that supposed to be? An ear? Like, whose ear shaped like that? It's literally a. It's a vagina.

[Kai]

Vagina, vagina. Have I talked about how I think video games are a form of meditation? I've, like, said it to y' all, but I genuinely believe that, like, I believe that, like, you enter this, like, ultra present state when you're playing video games. And, like, I think it's, like, borderline healthy where, like, you kind of disconnect from reality and all your anxieties and fears and like, like, you kind of just like, sit presently and, like, play this game and you're not thinking about, like, the future or, like, your past, and you're just sitting there killing kids in Fortnite. And I think it's, like, actually kind of a good thing, but it becomes bad if you're, like, avoiding certain things. But, yeah, I think video games are like meditation. Loki.

[Drew]

We should look up how many hours I've, like, racked on Fortnite on my PS5.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's probably. It's literally probably like 98 hours easily.

[Drew]

I think it might be more because I think last time I checked, Josiah's hours were like 400 and something. But he's been playing on his switch for, like, two years.

[Kai]

And he just constantly plays, like, anytime I call him, he's like, in a Fortnite game. Like, it's a problem.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

I think I have, like, 15, 000 hours in the Harry Potter Sex Gary's Mod Roleplays.

[Kai]

Oh, okay.

[Josiah]

And, yeah, I mean, I. I'm like, having out of body experiences in that. Totally, like, all the time. Hagrid's Hut back shots. It's like, on site.

[Kai]

Sit with that and just realize what you said, and we're gonna move on.

[Josiah]

Totally.

[Drew]

And we're gonna. We're not gonna prosecute you as.

[Josiah]

Can I just, like, apologize?

[Drew]

No. I don't even want to hear.

[Josiah]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

You don't get to do something like that and then apologize immediately after.

[Josiah]

That's my bad, and I'm sorry. I am sorry, though. Do you have another, like, a note? Can we move on or.

[Kai]

Gypsy Rose is getting out of jail in, like, 20 something days.

[Drew]

Where is she in jail? Like, like, what state is she?

[Kai]

Look it up.

[Drew]

Is it like, North Carolina? Because it feels like it'd be in North Carolina. Like, it's definitely like North Carolina.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Not south, but North Carolina, because Very different.

[Kai]

Missouri.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

She's in Missouri. She gets out on the 28th of December.

[Drew]

Wait, is she from Missouri?

[Kai]

I don't know where she's from, because.

[Drew]

I was gonna say two icons from Missouri.

[Kai]

Sexy Red Andrew.

[Drew]

Gypsy Rose. Oh, yeah, you. That's your twin. That's what no one's talking about, is that Madeline took the. Okay, so when Gypsy went to jail, they were like, we need to find a new.

[Kai]

She was in Springfield, Missouri. That is. I'm not.

[Drew]

Isn't that where your grandma.

[Kai]

Literally right next door. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Wow. Dude, we might actually be related because, like, why do I Look like her.

[Drew]

It's.

[Kai]

We'll insert the picture.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's. When she went to jail, your parents were like, we can't just, like, have Drew's twin leave his life. This will be so dramatic. So they replaced Gypsy with Madeline because they were like, we need a good, like, like, faithful, like, loving daughter who's, like, straight A student, just, like, on par. Because they didn't want you to find out that your sister was actually a murderer.

[Kai]

Wow. That actually makes a lot of sense.

[Josiah]

That does make a lot of sense.

[Drew]

I stand by her.

[Kai]

I don't go, no, I will die on that hill. And if you think it's problematic, literally suck my nuts from the back. Because she did what she had to do to get out of a dangerous situation. Gypsy Rose, Ms. Rose and your team, if you are hearing this, I want you on this podcast more than anything, immediately. More than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life. Like, more than me wanting a coral reef fish tank. More than me wanting a eurorack modular synthesizer. I want Gypsy Rose sitting right next to Enya. And we have a goof and a gaffer.

[Drew]

Okay, wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. So your top three interests and want is a reef tank, a eurorack, and Gypsy Rose?

[Kai]

Yes. And. Okay, we gotta take you to Apple Vision Reality Pro.

[Drew]

We need to take you to a psychiatrist immediately.

[Kai]

Apple Vision Pro.

[Drew]

We should get that for Gypsy to show her what the new world is like. She's been gone so long, she doesn't know that she can watch Apple.

[Josiah]

Her brain's gonna.

[Drew]

So she could watch Apple TV on the plane.

[Kai]

She doesn't know she could watch the act inside of her eyes, in her brain.

[Josiah]

You can show the Jason Nash live to her, and she'll be like, wow, the world is so awesome.

[Drew]

She's like, the world has evolved to a beautiful place. I, like, missed it so much.

[Kai]

Love live streamers, but digitally begging for money, I think it's a actually, like. I think it's, like, a great thing.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's community building. It's community building. Like, the idea that somebody who fell off is, like, now begging. It's like, oh, you're just like me.

[Kai]

Will y' all give me money if I fall off?

[Drew]

Will y' all give me money if I get on live and I beg and plead and scratch at my screen and scratch my arms, you know, freaking out.

[Kai]

I'll pour milk on me for every galaxy I get.

[Drew]

I'll fucking drop an egg in Drew's butt for every galaxy we get.

[Kai]

I'm thinking about starting an only vans.

[Drew]

Genuinely, like, okay, you always, like, somehow, like, you always bring that up, but, like, you're not gonna have subscribers.

[Josiah]

Like, yes, you will, dude, you're fucking sexy.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

I will say something. Whatever the you did, skin wise, whatever that procedure was, it looks good as damn. Like, you look like Luigi right now. I'm seriously.

[Drew]

No, you're gonna start in only fans and get like 18 random immediate subscribers. And all of them are gonna be like numbers and random and it's just Kai.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

You're gonna get 18 random messages for like 18 different angles and video requests immediately.

[Josiah]

No, I'm gonna put you on with the homies. I'm gonna share it.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, I think scratch. I really do think if I started in only fans, like, it wouldn't be wildly successful. Like, it would. It would probably generate a hundred thousand dollars a year total. But 90% of the people that subscribe would just be gawkers. They would just be people who, like, I want to see what this is. Like, they don't give a fuck about my penis.

[Drew]

You were like the most. This is the craziest statement ever. So I need to figure out how to word it. Not crazy, but when we go out, there is always somebody who's trying to on you. So I actually do think you're only fans. Like, Drew. I do not get hit on when we go out. Like, people don't like, come up to me and like, flirt with me and. But people go up to Drew. No, I'm too, like, it's like. It's like I said this to someone the other day. Like, I could get into a VIP booth with like, a man with money, but he's gonna immediately knew he made a mistake because this will not shut the up. He's gonna be like, damn, how do I kick her out in the night?

[Kai]

It's gonna be us in the car ride to ucsb. Like, damn, shut up. Shut up.

[Drew]

I was like, bro, I'm literally trying to listen to jerking get up and this girl won't shut the up. Because I think I've said this on the podcast, but, like, I have never done dating apps. I don't think I ever will because, like, I don't believe in it. And like, like, I just get whole thrown at me like, I don't need all that. But that is disgusting to say. I would, like, imagine swiping on me, like, looking at like, the best pictures of me. Whatever. Like, imagine like some of my best, like, IG pics. And stuff. I throw that on a dating app. I'm, like, a little funny and, like, kooky in my description or whatever, and I, like, tap in. You show up to a date with me, and it's me across the table, and my ass won't shut the up. I'm so annoying. I feel like I'm just too polarizing.

[Kai]

You'd find. You'd find the right person. Like, I. And you're a catch. And anybody would be lucky. Lucky to be able to, like, sit across the table on a date with.

[Josiah]

You guys both have magnetism, dysmorphia. Because you're both, like, magnetic.

[Kai]

Is that right?

[Josiah]

You're like, oh, I'm so.

[Drew]

Is that a thing?

[Josiah]

No. That's some. I made up because I'm a genius.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

I was gonna say it didn't sound good, so.

[Drew]

Yes.

[Josiah]

Oh, it didn't.

[Drew]

That's. I mean, that's why we asked if it was real, because I was.

[Kai]

Sucks.

[Drew]

I was like, what?

[Kai]

You're lit.

[Josiah]

Thank you.

[Kai]

But, yeah, I get a lot of play. I don't interact with it, though. I just, like, let it.

[Josiah]

That is grosser than.

[Drew]

But, yeah, I got hella play, bro.

[Kai]

I just don't interact with it because you're better. My celibacy art.

[Drew]

Yeah. And you're better than that.

[Kai]

Yeah. Because you're.

[Drew]

You're not that earthly.

[Kai]

Yeah, I'm not bound by these earthly things. Like, S in BJ's.

[Drew]

Hey, we need to throw up the meme you showed us of the guy getting head on the bus.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Drew]

That's such a good one.

[Kai]

Wait, that was us on the way.

[Drew]

To the show yesterday when y' all weren't looking, when there was, like, two seconds of silence because Drew was giving me head.

[Kai]

What the hell are we talking about?

[Josiah]

That is so inappropriate.

[Drew]

We were in the back seat. We were hitting.

[Josiah]

So inappropriate.

[Kai]

And.

[Drew]

Yeah, what?

[Josiah]

You're right.

[Drew]

I should show you were in our car.

[Josiah]

No, you're totally right. I'm constantly, like, stepping out of line.

[Drew]

Don't get in my. My car and expect me not to get head for my bro. Like, come on.

[Kai]

What were we talking about before this?

[Drew]

We were talking about you having a only fans.

[Kai]

Oh, is that where we were?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Only fans coming soon. Drew emoji coming soon.

[Drew]

Shut the up.

[Kai]

Drew emoji coming, like, hella soon. Like, expect.

[Drew]

I can't believe you never did that. I hate those emojis.

[Kai]

I love him so much.

[Drew]

It's also funny because it was, like, right when you got a mustache, like, it's so. Like, it was such a, like, immediate transitional arc of, like, the way you looked.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was. It was crazy. They're. They're really goaded. Have you seen them?

[Josiah]

Yes, I've seen them.

[Kai]

We'll insert the dream, but just know it's coming hella soon.

[Drew]

Kimoji.

[Kai]

Kimoji.

[Drew]

So funny, man.

[Kai]

Okay, a couple more things to talk about. Ariana Grande's boyfriend looks just like Frankie Grande. It's really, really bizarre. Like, it's really.

[Josiah]

Spongebob guy.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Yes. It's really, really. Look.

[Drew]

Look it up, look up. Like, side by sides. It's like, very eerie.

[Kai]

Crazy boots. And, like, that's all I have to say. Like, I don't. I don't give a fuck a About anybody's personal problems or loves or qualms or whatever. It's kind of bizarre, though. It's a little bizarre.

[Drew]

I feel like that's so common for what the. Like, us. Like, we just.

[Kai]

Can you flip it around?

[Drew]

Cousin lovers.

[Kai]

Yeah, true.

[Drew]

Yeah. So we can't really judge. Yeah, I.

[Josiah]

That's really crazy.

[Kai]

Put it. Put. We'll insert the picture for everybody, but, like. Yeah, man.

[Josiah]

Yeah. The mouth is really.

[Drew]

I will never get over the fact that, like, we had, like, a really big phase of listening to one of Frankie Grande songs and, like, we're obsessed with his music video for it. And I, up until less than a year ago, genuinely thought it was a cover of a Queen song.

[Kai]

We can't even say what song it is, but when you find it, you'll know.

[Drew]

You'll know. Rock and roll revolution. I'm an icon, baby. An institution. Okay, why is it when a song plays, I know those lyrics, but if somebody asked me to sing a song, I'm just like, oh, like, I get so scared because I was trying to send an audio message of me singing a song I just heard on Tick Tock, and I immediately scrolled over and held down to start singing to this person. I was like. I don't know what the. I was thinking. Like, I literally, like, all of the lyrics just left my brain. There has to be some psychology to that. Yeah, Just like, the senses are engaged.

[Kai]

I get like that. I look like that. I am like that.

[Drew]

I think I'm gonna do water birth. But, like, in a green juice. In, like, celery juice.

[Kai]

Slurp jug.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Did you guys know I was a piss birth baby?

[Drew]

Like, your mom squirted in a. Yeah.

[Josiah]

My mom just filled a bathtub up with squirt before she pushed me out. I can cut that if you guys want. I'm sorry, I'm just.

[Drew]

That is like, why I think you.

[Kai]

Want to cut it.

[Josiah]

No, I'm gonna leave it in.

[Drew]

Dude, at home burst literally freaked me out. I don't understand it. Like, imagine me giving birth in this apartment. That baby would die. That baby would.

[Kai]

Yeah, you have to live in, like a coquette cabin or something to give, like, do an at home birth. Like, you can't live in, like, an apartment or something.

[Drew]

Like, I think I would just be so annoyed to do an at home birth. Or like, people who go to, like, what are they called? They're like, not hospitals, but they're just, like, separate, like, entities to. Are you saying I stink right now?

[Kai]

The tuna box.

[Josiah]

I hate that so much.

[Drew]

Dude, my tuna box has been loud as, like, some of y' all are scared when you walk into an establishment with weed in your bag. I'm really scared when I have to walk in with my tuna box.

[Kai]

And imagine sitting next when I wear a skirt.

[Drew]

This tuna box is literally blasting, starting.

[Kai]

The rumor that you have a stinky box.

[Drew]

My stinky box, dude. When I pull my pens down to piss, it's literally Chernobyl. It's literally like. It's like radioactive scents get shot up to my, like, face. And that's probably why I have eczema, is because I'm looking down at.

[Kai]

Just shut the hell up, dude.

[Drew]

Did you know they wrote Chernobyl about my tuna box?

[Kai]

No, they didn't.

[Josiah]

Is that true?

[Drew]

Yes, dude.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew]

It's about the first time I squirted it was Chernobyl it why it really worked out. God, dude, I wasn't allowed to have sex for so long because I was being held captive by the government because they were like, that tuna box is gonna destroy power.

[Kai]

You're like a superhero to me.

[Drew]

It's. It's a nightmare.

[Kai]

No, you need to, like, utilize it, right? If you can clear out an entire town and make it so radioactive that it doesn't exist anymore, open that Cuda Bronson in a bank and rob that.

[Josiah]

That's a good ass point.

[Drew]

That is true. And I wouldn't get arrested for being, like, doing armed robbery because I'm like, what? That's just my tuna.

[Josiah]

Yeah, yeah. We have, like, nuclear fission and there's fusion, right?

[Drew]

And like, we need new.

[Josiah]

One of those is, like, gonna save the world.

[Kai]

It's in his tuna.

[Drew]

It's my nuclear.

[Kai]

Oh. Oh, nice. Should we talk about Lo Anthony's it's serving the army, literally. Okay. Like Lo Anthony went from serving to serving in the military. And I think low key it might be stolen valor. Low Anthony's stolen valor art.

[Drew]

Oh, like you don't think he's actually in the military?

[Kai]

I don't know. That fit just looked a little funky.

[Drew]

Girl. That was his Halloween costume.

[Kai]

Well, insert it. Was it? Actually, that's what I was thinking.

[Drew]

I'm. I'm kidding. But it possibly could be.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It's just such a random pick too.

[Kai]

Like, yeah, it kind of feels like he's not actually in the military, but like, damn, I cannot keep loan thing's name out of my mouth. I hope you realize that, like, he was like, very important to me growing up. Like, genuinely when I was like 12, 13, 14 or whenever he was having his like, or his like time on the Internet, like, it was really, really.

[Drew]

Like, dude, he ran by. He was like top tier viner, like.

[Kai]

Super special to me also. Just cuz like, yeah, it was, it was cool. I, I really with him. And then I did have this like, thought recently where I was just like, why do so many people care about his like, Christian arc? And then like, obviously, like, there's like the aspect of it where it's like denouncing an entire culture of people, but like, I. I don't know, I'm just like, do you. But like, keep everybody.

[Drew]

He's not really making it like a public mission to spread some word. It's, it's. I like, I think people are so invested in it because was such a. Like, this is sounds crazy, but in Internet age, he was such a martyr in terms of like being like a young, like gay person on the Internet who was very open about like, I. I don't know, not necessarily his sexuality, but about like being in tune to himself and not caring that like it was an age of the Internet where if you were a gay person, I mean, this still exists. But if you were a gay person, you were met with so much hate and so many people being like, you're a boy. Act like a boy. Like that kind of narrat. And he really was such a, like forefront of pushing past it. And like, of course there were like a bunch of other creators who were like, in that realm, but he was like at the forefront of it for young people on the Internet. So I think people are so tapped into it because it is like kind of terrifying, like how quickly that can switch. Like, it is so scary how like fast it can switch. But yeah, at least he's not like spreading basically misinformation on the Internet.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, it could be a lot worse. But, lo. Anthony, come back to us. Actually, come on to the pod. We'll interview you and call you sergeant. Yeah, we'll have. You'll have your little, like, platform to speak your piece. Speak your piece.

[Drew]

He. If. If he even saw this, he'd be like, hell, no.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, he's like, oh, those are some. We're not getting on that podcast. Blink that.

[Drew]

Oh, wow. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

And blur my mouth.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Kai]

Bleep and blur. Okay. I don't know why I have this written down, but it just says Inya's period.

[Drew]

Oh, it's because I was talking about how my period makes me feel through the lines. You brought it up. Hello. I'll. I'll stop having it. I'll stop having it.

[Josiah]

Okay, wait, you could just turn that off.

[Drew]

No, I'm gonna shove a fucking beauty blender up that hole and keep it pushing.

[Josiah]

So brave.

[Drew]

You know, people do that, but what.

[Kai]

The hell were you talking about?

[Josiah]

Are you serious?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Why did I write that note down? Oh, sorry. Keep going.

[Drew]

Women in sex work will, like, put, like, a sponge in there so that they can do scenes while they're on their period.

[Josiah]

Whoa. And it's a beauty blender.

[Drew]

Some use beauty blender. Some just use, like. But it's usually like, a makeup sponge because it's, like, a very soft, like, sponge that you can, like, rub against your skin and it won't hurt. You want me to run that for us?

[Kai]

No, no, no. I was just saying in general.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Yeah, like, do your thing.

[Drew]

So I'm allowed to have my period again?

[Kai]

No, absolutely not.

[Drew]

Okay. I have to figure that out. Are you gonna fund my surgery?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Oh, okay.

[Kai]

That's. That's not my.

[Drew]

I don't even know if that's possible.

[Kai]

It's not. That's not what I'm supposed to do.

[Drew]

I just have to make it.

[Kai]

But no. What was that? What did I write?

[Drew]

Oh. I, like, don't even know if I can say this, but, like, it. My period, like, makes.

[Kai]

You don't have to.

[Drew]

You don't have body dysmorphia so crazy that, like, for two weeks, I am genuinely convinced that if me and Bella Hadid were standing next to each other, I'm like, who knows who's who? Like, literally, who knows who's who? Like, I just, like. If you, like, like, put just, like, our bodies next to each other, people be like, I really don't know which One is which. Like, that's where my. I like, think I'm serving. Model, model, model. Like, I'm like, yeah, have fun guessing, like, me and Gigi Hadid, like, who's who. But then for another week, I'm like, oh, my God, I don't know what I ate, but, like, I literally think I'm dying. Like, my whole body has like, literally transformed. I have like, the true body of like, like a woman. I have like, I'm about to like, birth a child. Like, I, my, my childbearing hips have come in. Like, I'm literally ready to be pregnant. Like, this is crazy what's happening. Like, I don't know what I did and then I'll just be like, it. I might as well eat Wingstop eight times this week because, like, I gotta keep pushing. And then I get my period and then I'm like, guys, something else is happening. I'm, I'm on a body journey right now. Like, I literally feel like the people who are like, like, post their updates after working out all year. Like, that's what I feel like in a week, I'm like, from that Sunday to the next Sunday, I feel like I could do like a tick tock thing of like, I went to the gym every day, had blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I'm like, I might as well be a bodybuilder. I don't know how I was able to do that.

[Kai]

Literally, like clockwork. Like once a month you have like three or four days where you're like, I'm disgusting.

[Drew]

I hate even in my face, I'm like, I'm disgusted. I can't believe I got ugly overnight. Like, I just woke up and I'm putrid. Like, my hair looks like, I, I'm ugly. I'm disgusting. I'm gonna kill myself. And then three days later, I'm like.

[Kai]

And then three days later, you're sitting in your office desk chair, like, recording.

[Drew]

Like, like making 18 tick tocks. I'm like, someone's gotta see this. Like, the people have to see this. Like, because I know it's fleeting because I'm like, the people need to see this now because in three weeks time, I'll be back to being disgusting. So when there's those gaps in my TikToks and like selfies, that's when my, my cycle is attacking me.

[Kai]

Well, even in those disgusting moments where you think you're ugly and disgusting, I think you're beautiful.

[Drew]

Oh, wow.

[Kai]

And you're beautiful.

[Drew]

I mean, like, I have to look in the mirror and look at my face. So that's like really hard.

[Kai]

Yeah, I.

[Drew]

Never mind. I won't start with that. Yeah, but yeah, that's my story. I don't. And I don't know if we could keep it in because.

[Kai]

No, we have to. That was so funny. We literally have to.

[Drew]

But yeah, I feel like, like so many through that. Why is there like no light on us right now? We look like we're sitting in the dark.

[Kai]

We literally do. I think the A filter is on.

[Drew]

Kai, you're going to have, I think.

[Kai]

Like a UV filter.

[Josiah]

How do I change?

[Kai]

No, no, no, no.

[Drew]

I mean like later. We'll fix it in post.

[Josiah]

I'll fix it in post.

[Drew]

In post. By Bjork. Oh, should we get into some media?

[Kai]

I'm down, down Diddy down Did he down, down, down down, down Are you down? Did it down? Did it down D. Down, down, down.

[Drew]

I don't think you're singing that right. Down Diddy down Diddy down down, down, down. Okay, you. You're such a. Did you kill yourself?

[Kai]

Oh, wow. Okay, I'll give you the first 10 songs on my Spotify top songs of 2023. So we got X Style or Crystal by Aphex Twin. Here's where the story ends. The Sundays you think you're me. Let the light in Lana Del Gay Alone in Coyote Air in my room Frank Ocean Tom Ib Square Pusher Tom mib A Little Lost Arthur Rush Russell Abuse the dirty column White Tea Little Peep in a silent way Miles Davis, Rainbow Conversation, Stereo Lab. We are the music makers Apex Twin and then Porcelain moby.

[Drew]

Was that 10?

[Kai]

That was a lot more than 10. I think I'll count but 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. I did 13.

[Drew]

Mine is Cannock Chase by Laby Sifray when the morning comes Daryl hall and John Oates. I just want to talk to you by chow. I just want to talk. I said Towels by Charles Brown and Sleepy Creek simple kind of life, no doubt. Muskrat Love by Willis Allen Ramsey. You have to do that version. Guess I'm dumb. Glenn Campbell. Hello, it's me, Todd Rundgren. A summer wasting Belle and Sebastian I'd have you anytime George Harrison. Watch me Laby Sifre Honeydew Jimmy Carter in the Dallas county green Turn to stone Electric light Orchestra practice twice Sam Precop and On Earth by the Sundays Pre computer. Yeah, Sam Precom. It's a weird name. I don't know why he would do that. But I guess I. That song does make you really horny when I play it, so it kind of makes sense.

[Kai]

It really does. And gets you going. Yeah. For real.

[Drew]

It's crazy. Me and Drew, when we have sex, we only listen to Aphex Winter Boards of Canada.

[Kai]

I like dark vibes.

[Drew]

I like something spooky.

[Kai]

Spooky.

[Drew]

You better not be making a rap song on that spooky track when I get there. We need to make a spooky song.

[Kai]

Yeah, we. We should have.

[Drew]

I guess I have all my evil verses.

[Kai]

What's up? The evil side is coming out again.

[Drew]

Oh, no. The evil side's coming out again.

[Kai]

But. Yeah, and then for, like, television. Tv, Movie television. I've been watching. What the was I watching? I. Oh, what anime was that? I watched it. I started watching a really, really good anime. It's something everyone knows already. It's Shonen or. Hold on. You talk.

[Drew]

I started Love has won, and that's really good. But I'm waiting for Drew to catch up so we can finish it together. Trying to think. What else? Still watching a bunch of stuff. Kaizen, have you ever seen Eden of the East?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

That's so good. I love Eden of the East. It's so cutesy.

[Kai]

Bootsy, Bo. And then. Then we're going to see Beyonce.

[Drew]

The Beyonce.

[Kai]

We're gonna go see the Beyonce movie on the 1st.

[Drew]

Are we gonna dress up?

[Kai]

I might just wear my silver vest, like, have a. Like a good vibe.

[Drew]

I don't know if I own silver, and I don't want to buy something for one thing, because silver looks bad on me. I remember somebody was, like, upset I didn't wear silver, and I was like, I love Beyonce more than you know. More than two will ever know. But silver looks bad on me, and I just can't do it. God bless.

[Kai]

Respect.

[Drew]

Respect. But I want to dress up. We should all get gowns.

[Kai]

Gowns. I'll wear a gown.

[Drew]

That would be so funny if we all wore, like, gowns.

[Kai]

I'll wear a wig. I don't give a. I'm gonna wear.

[Drew]

One of my big, puffy.

[Kai]

I'm just a man. Okay, listen. I'm just a man that isn't afraid to dress nice. And if that means I'm in a dress, that means I'm in a dress. And that doesn't. It doesn't take away from my masculinity. It just adds to my femininity, and I. And it's okay.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. You are you. Like. I'm not kidding. Sometimes you say things that I'm like, you are so brave and vulnerable, and, like, I look up to you in a way I don't think you understand, because you. I'm gonna.

[Kai]

And if I want to wear a purse, I'm gonna wear it.

[Drew]

No, you're gonna make me cry. Stop, please.

[Kai]

Like, oh, you want to cry? What about a skirt? Skirt?

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Yeah. What about a skirt?

[Drew]

You are so brave, and I love you so much.

[Kai]

What about a brawl?

[Drew]

And even if you look disgusting in all those clothes because you just. It's not flattering on you and you have bad style, I'm like, give me my hand. So brave.

[Kai]

Give me my hand back.

[Drew]

Every time you post on Instagram, I'm like, you are so brave. Oh, I'm like, you. Your confidence astounds me. Oh, I'm gonna start, like, commenting down people's things. Like, your confidence just astounds me.

[Kai]

Confidence is.

[Drew]

Are you gonna do a Drew psyop corner? Okay, I got scared. I got scared.

[Kai]

I. Okay, India. Like, when I asked her if I should start a new segment on the thing called. Wait, wait, wait. It's gonna be called Drew's Brain Floss, and it's like a segment where I talk about really cool historic events that happened. And you literally yelled at him, and ya was like, no, no, no. But I was like, it could be nice. Like.

[Drew]

Like, y' all think it's a joke when I don't want to hear a man explain something, but it's literally not a joke. And I was like, I literally. It. It felt like when an artist goes to record label was like, can I please make what I want to make? And they're like, no, you will make a tick tock hit. Like, that's what it felt like, because I was like, you can do it if you can keep it under five minutes, but I know you can't do that.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And he was like, no. Seven minutes. I was like, seven minutes. Are you kidding me? And Josiah was watching us, like, go back and forth about it.

[Kai]

We'll let the people decide. Do you want Drew. Drew's brain. Drew's brain floss. I have, like, a good one already set up called DB Cooper, if y' all want to hear about that. It's a pretty epic tale, and I'll talk about it in the next episode. But Drew's Blaine. I can't even say Drew's Brain Floss. Okay, but let's get into Drew's side up.

[Josiah]

I think you should call it Drew's Brain Floss. Not. I think Blaine Floss.

[Drew]

I think we should call it Drew Gives Anya Brain. Oh, don't hit him. Don't. We were. We said. We said we were gonna stop.

[Kai]

Stop.

[Drew]

Hit. We said we were going to stop. Hit.

[Kai]

Shut the up.

[Josiah]

I'm so.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Can you hit me on the other side of the face just to make it symmetrical, please?

[Kai]

I got you.

[Josiah]

Damn. You know how sticky it get.

[Drew]

Ew.

[Josiah]

Oh.

[Drew]

You need to stop. Okay, look, he's. Ew. He's moaning.

[Josiah]

Oh, guys, I moaned on that one episode. My bad.

[Drew]

Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

[Kai]

Okay, Drew, sigh up corner. Ever seen a Radiohead fan talk about sex and sit there like, who the is banging you? I need proof that's me about you.

[Drew]

When you said all your artists.

[Kai]

When I accidentally close my 47 tabs, it's like the burning of the Library of Alexandra, but worst. Worst. The burning of the Library of Alexandria, but worse. Dudes with dark yellow piss always got the most to say. Don't you got a headache, bro? Also, the reason they're not laughing is because I did these at ucsb, so.

[Drew]

No, it's because they're not funny. That's, like, different.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Oh, okay.

[Kai]

Y' all be so bored. Oh, never mind. I'm not doing that one. When I do Drew Scop Corner, it's mainly for laughs. But watch out, you might learn something.

[Drew]

Oh, wow. What would I learn?

[Kai]

By the way, not every Lady Gaga fan is gay. We exist. The world hasn't been right since that Popeyes Chicken sandwich came out. I hurt my hands. Like, fake slap.

[Josiah]

Oh, wow, your hand. I guess when you slap me in.

[Drew]

The face so hard, you should think about him. Why are you making it about you like it's not in the face?

[Josiah]

Maybe. Maybe you should think about me sometimes.

[Drew]

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

[Kai]

Do you feel how warm they are?

[Drew]

They are really warm.

[Kai]

He's got a warm face.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Next time, it's your bottom.

[Josiah]

Are you gonna, like, put me over.

[Kai]

My. Thank you, guys, for listening.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

All right. Thanks, guys, for listening. I would hate that. Maybe we won't be back ever again.

[Kai]

Yeah, Drew's playing Frost, DB Cooper, Airplane.

[Drew]

Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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