Drew Got Bullied

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Drew Got Bullied"

Podcast Information

• Title: Emergency Intercom
• Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Episode: Drew Got Bullied
• Release Date: August 12, 2022
• Description: A comedy podcast where Enya and Drew navigate humorous and intense conversations, often touching on personal anecdotes and quirky topics.

---

Introduction

In this episode titled "Drew Got Bullied," hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips delve into a personal and humorous incident where Drew finds himself on the receiving end of bullying from his twin, Kai. The conversation blends comedy with heartfelt insights, exploring their sibling dynamics, personal insecurities, and the importance of empathy within their relationship.

The Bullying Incident

The core of the episode revolves around an incident where Drew unintentionally bullied Kai, leading to a playful yet impactful retaliation. The story unfolds as they recount a night spent setting up a movie, which devolves into tensions and humorous exchanges.

• Drew’s Perspective: Drew describes his behavior during the incident, admitting to making fun of Kai for obsessing over his supplements. This led to a chaotic moment where he accidentally damaged Kai's belongings, feeling it was a targeted attack.

  "[04:17] Drew: I did that yesterday to Drew. I had one of my meltdowns..."

• Kai’s Retaliation: Kai counters Drew’s bullying by whispering swear words into Orion’s ears, escalating the situation in a way that leaves Drew both confused and momentarily silenced.

  "[14:02] Drew: Let me say from my point of view... he starts laughing so hard..."

• Emotional Impact: Despite the humorous tone, both hosts express underlying feelings. Kai feels genuinely hurt by the bullying, while Drew recognizes the unintended consequences of his actions.

  "[16:00] Kai: I don't need an apology or pity. Like, if you're going to be mean to me, be mean to Me. And I'll internalize it forever."

Host Dynamics and Emotional Insights

The discussion highlights the deep emotional bond between Drew and Kai, emphasizing their shared experiences and mutual understanding of each other's anxieties and insecurities.

• Shared Anxiety: Both twins acknowledge how their anxiety manifests similarly, strengthening their connection as they navigate stressful situations together.

  "[04:20] Drew: I did that yesterday to Drew. I had one of my meltdowns. Meltdowns, and then into silence."

• Empathy and Support: Drew appreciates Kai’s empathy, noting how she perceives people as individuals with unique emotions.

  "[04:41] Drew: I'm just empathetic. And, like, I see people, and, like, when I see them, I'm like, that's a person."

Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, Enya and Drew share various personal stories that add depth and humor to their conversation.

• Hair Woes: Kai vents about her struggle with oily hair, describing a mishap where excessive hair oil left her frustrated and self-conscious.

  "[08:32] Kai: If you're looking at my hair and you're like, damn, that is ratty, oily, disgusting... I woke up and it was the most oily like shit ever."

• Glass Shattering Incident: Drew recounts a near-accident where a glass shattered near him, adding to the chaotic humor of the episode.

  "[18:25] Drew: And the fact that you're constantly doing that and not giving me the panties after is crazy."

Insights on Compliments and Self-Esteem

A significant portion of the conversation delves into Kai's complex relationship with compliments and how they affect her self-esteem.

• Impact of Compliments: Kai explains that while compliments are meant to be positive, they often have the opposite effect, making her feel more insecure.

  "[17:01] Kai: Anytime someone compliments me, it inflates my ego in a way that I don't think the person understands what they're doing to me. Like, they really don't get it."

• Dependence on Positive Feedback: Despite the negative impact, Kai admits that she relies on compliments for her emotional well-being.

  "[18:25] Kai: But that doesn't mean stop complimenting me, because I literally am only alive for moments like that."

Social Media and Pop Culture Discussions

The hosts transition into a lively discussion about social media trends, particularly TikTok, and their influence on daily life and pop culture.

• TikTok Challenges: Kai introduces the "10 Scroll Challenge," where participants scroll through their TikTok feed ten times and record their reactions.

  "[19:41] Drew: What is that?" "[19:42] Kai: You go to your for you page and then you scroll 10 times and then I'm screen recording."

• Pop Culture References: They humorously dissect various pop culture elements, including misconceptions about the LGBTQ+ acronym and playful jabs at celebrities like Lady Gaga and the Beatles.

  "[22:21] Kai: Well, I just did mine, and that's basically what I'm scrolling down for. 8 and a half hours a day."

Financial Advice and Investments

In a surprising yet insightful segment, Kai offers financial advice, emphasizing the importance of investing and compound interest.

• Investing Tips: Kai encourages listeners to make their money work for them, highlighting the benefits of compound interest.

  "[53:24] Kai: Make your money work for you. You can make 7.5% compound interest on your investments. Look, put... If you put like 5k in now, by the time you're 65..."

• Drew’s Skepticism: Drew expresses skepticism about investing, questioning the stability and reliability of financial markets.

  "[53:08] Drew: What if I die? ... [54:03] Drew: Jesus H. Christ."

Upcoming Events and Promotions

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts pivot to promoting their upcoming performances and engaging with their audience.

• Festival DJing: Kai and Enya announce their role as DJs for an upcoming festival in New York, hyping up the event with enthusiasm.

  "[41:12] Kai: Oh, yes. So Kai and I are DJing a festival in New York. And not only that, but we are headlining and closing out the entire festival."

• Engagement with Audience: They encourage listeners to join them at events, blending promotional content seamlessly into their comedic banter.

  "[60:46] Drew: Some people watching this are going to the Bad Bunny concert in Miami tonight. And let's just say I'll be there. No."

Conclusion

"Drew Got Bullied" offers a blend of humor, personal storytelling, and insightful discussions about relationships, self-esteem, and navigating social dynamics. Through their candid and comedic interactions, Enya, Drew, and Kai provide listeners with relatable content that balances laughs with genuine emotional depth.

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Notable Quotes:

• "[04:20] Drew: We both do it."
• "[14:02] Drew: Let me say from my point of view..."
• "[17:01] Kai: Anytime someone compliments me, it inflates my ego in a way that I don't think the person understands what they're doing to me."
• "[53:24] Kai: Make your money work for you..."

This episode not only entertains but also offers listeners a window into the complex dynamics of sibling relationships, the impact of words on self-esteem, and the importance of empathy and understanding in overcoming personal challenges.

Transcript

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[Drew]

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[Drew]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Today we talk about why is the poop pressing so hard against my butthole right now? Yeah, you know what's crazy is I took my probiotic and then immediately that happened. But I think what spiked that is the anxiety I felt when I Shattered my second Mason jar of the day.

[Kai]

Wait, what is a glow?

[Enya]

I have no idea.

[Kai]

I actually don't know. I don't know. What amazing glass.

[Drew]

That's how you make me feel.

[Kai]

Sorry. I literally don't know. What amazing glass.

[Drew]

I wish I had the straight.

[Kai]

Wait, you pulled my hair. I was just. Enya is literally on little sister mode this week because I'm just chilling in my bed on my iPhone, and India will, like, like, literally hobble into my room, like, playing the loudest sounds from her phone, computer, iPad, whatever it is, and just lay on my bed for hours. And I would like to say that I. I wish I could say it was annoying, but it is so cute and endearing. That. And I love it so much that when you leave, I get sad. I. But yesterday when she left, as she was walking out, she, like, grabbed my leg hair and just pulled it. And we never said anything about it, but that hurt so bad. I was like, literally, why did she do that? But just.

[Drew]

That's what you get for watching the worst show ever and actually freaking out about it. Like, Drew's been watching, like, bingeing. I haven't seen Drew in the rest of the house all week because he goes in his room and turns on his iPad and binges what he claims is one of the worst shows he's ever seen. But he literally cannot stop watching it.

[Kai]

I can't. It's so hard to, like, stop. It's. It's Umbrella Academy. But it's just.

[Drew]

That's the thing about you is you can dedicate your time to something you hate, and I. I appreciate that. That's something I love about you is, like, even though, like, you hate things, like, you'll dedicate way too much time to it.

[Kai]

You know? What I love about you is when you let your anxiety win. It's just so powerful.

[Drew]

Oh, and then I, like, freak out and go silent.

[Kai]

Well, we're just twins in that way.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Because we both do it. We both do it.

[Drew]

I did that yesterday to Drew. I had one of my, like, meltdowns. Meltdowns, and then into silence. And then by the time we got home, I was like, damn, damn, damn.

[Kai]

I don't know why I did. I literally didn't think anything of it, because I do the same thing, and I can recognize that. But just know I see. I see the world how it's meant to be.

[Drew]

You know, I'm just empathetic. And, like, I see people, and, like, when I see them, I'm like, that's a person.

[Kai]

I love the way your brain works. I really do. Has anyone ever said that seriously to you?

[Drew]

No, but I think you have.

[Kai]

I love the way your brain works.

[Drew]

No, but never in that sentence, because literally, as you're doing that, I thought about that old video of you, like, complimenting me when Ian had you, like, compliment me on camera. And I'm not kidding. Like, you've complimented me before, but I think, like, that was back when you still, like, were unable to evoke emotion, and you were, like, scared.

[Kai]

I'm still unable to evoke emotion.

[Drew]

Well, now you can be kind with your words, like, pretty often. Like, you, like, you can. You're very complimentary, like, emotionally now. But that was, like, literally. I'm not kidding that. I think that was the first time you had said it, like, in a serious way, even though it was on camera. And it was like, that's what that reminded me of.

[Kai]

But that was like, what, like, six months after living with each other? That was pretty quick into, like, moving in.

[Drew]

No, that was. That was 2019. That was like, a year after. Yeah, that was a little over a year damn time. Because my hair was brown and I. It was. It was after I had orange hair, I think. So it was like, later. 2019. No way. Nah. I have to begin.

[Kai]

Yeah, go, go look it up. Makes sense to me.

[Drew]

If that is true, I'm actually gonna freak the out. Because literally what doesn't make sense to me is how was 2019 before 2020?

[Kai]

That genuinely make.

[Drew]

That freaks me out. And I know it's obviously it's because, like, of the, like, lifestyle shift from 2019 to 2020. And also we went from, like, before the pandemic still being like, like, baby adults. Yeah, like, 19 to 20. And then, like, during pandemic, like, we all aged, like, three years.

[Kai]

Literally, we all age.

[Drew]

Like, we all became, like, adults, and now we all look like fudgeing adults. And it's scary.

[Kai]

I'm not an adult yet. I know you're 16, but, like, I'm turning 17.

[Drew]

But you carry yourself so adult, like.

[Kai]

Yeah, I'm just, like, really mature for my age.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

So, like, it's really easy. Sometimes I forget while you're looking for that, I just want to clear the air about my hair right now. So if you're looking at it and you're like, damn, your hair looks really fucking oily. It looks really, really bad.

[Drew]

No. Yeah. April 2019. How was that? 2019.

[Kai]

That's 20 twisted, dude.

[Drew]

It's like the way you age, like, you know, when you're like from four to seven, like you see someone age rapidly. Like that's when a human ages rapidly from like 18 to 21. That same rapid aging happens specifically inside your brain. Specifically like 18 to 23.

[Kai]

It's like even, even 21 to 23. Like even those a. That like period of time is completely like you age 10 years comparatively to like the rest of your life. But as I was saying is even.

[Enya]

Like 8 to 9 or even 8 to 9.

[Drew]

What?

[Enya]

Like ages 8 to 9?

[Drew]

Now you're just naming ages.

[Kai]

I really am so curious. I'm so curious.

[Enya]

Sorry, I was.

[Drew]

Kai, you can speak even like when you know something. When you know something.

[Kai]

Even, even 56 to 57.

[Enya]

I was going to say that.

[Drew]

Oh, also, wait, like 14 to like, like right before you turn 15. But like specifically that week before you turn 15.

[Kai]

Things change. Things change. This is going to be the summer of the rest of our lives.

[Drew]

Why is this going to be a trolls Christmas? You saying that was literally the funniest I'd ever heard.

[Kai]

Not this year's Christmas going to be a troll. It's going to be a troll's Christmas. It's actually crazy.

[Drew]

What were you saying about your hair?

[Kai]

If you're looking at my hair and you're like, damn, that is ratty, oily, disgusting. I know it looks like it smells bad. It's because you know how you were like, oh, like you need. You should try using some of that oil on your hair. I didn't read the bottle. And you used a ton. I didn't use a ton, but I applied it at my roots and at the bottom of my hair. And I went to bed last night and I was like, damn, my hair. I'm gonna wake up and it's gonna be so nice. And I woke up and it was the most oily like shit ever. And I was so fucking pissed because I was like, I showered last night, I don't wanna shower this morning. Cause I'm going to the gym later. It's completely pointless. But now I have disgusting hair and I have to be on camera and I'm not putting on a baseball cap. I'm done with baseball caps.

[Drew]

I know, I've noticed you haven't been doing that. Is it because when I pointed out the frizzy thing, like that's.

[Kai]

Yeah, like fully. I was like, oh, is that really what's breaking my hair, dude?

[Drew]

Yeah, that'll. That'll do it.

[Kai]

That'll do it. Bartle dud it. Bartle dude.

[Drew]

But yeah, that oil. You're not supposed to put hair oil in your roots. I put it in my ends, but also my ends take up so much oil. Because still. Although, like, I've had multiple haircuts in the past, like, few months.

[Kai]

No, you haven't.

[Drew]

Although I've cut my hair a ton. So annoying. There's still, like, ends of my hair that had blonde in it. So, like, the ends will, like, be really, really dry and scary. So I have to put a bunch of oil. And even then still, like, like the way my hair can, like, still, like, hold shape.

[Kai]

Oh, damn.

[Drew]

Is, like, kind of gross.

[Kai]

Did you.

[Drew]

Because it's like, not like a slayway. It's like a. Why can it do that?

[Kai]

There were hair suckers as kids. Do you know the kids that sucked their hair? Do you know the kids that suck their hair? Were either of you?

[Drew]

I was not that.

[Enya]

I was never that.

[Kai]

No, Never that. Never.

[Drew]

Were you a hair sucker? I don't think your hair was ever long enough. Like, this is probably the longest.

[Kai]

Yeah, there was, like, a moment where I did. It would, like, fall into my mouth and then I would just leave it there and play with it.

[Enya]

What?

[Drew]

I feel like I've done that.

[Kai]

Yeah. Okay. This is her. Long haired people, long hair, girls only. Like, you can't. Don't, don't try to relate.

[Drew]

Yeah, okay. You're having such a hard time getting that out. You're freaking out. But yeah, also, I didn't even finish the story. Basically, I made fun of Drew for having out his. Because we're going on a trip and Drew has all his probiotics and, like, pills and supplements, and I made fun of him for it. But then I thought about it and I was like, oh, my God, While I'm taking mine, I'm going to leave mine out. So I left mine out. And then when we were setting up the camera, I, like, reached over to help Kai with something and dragged the fudgeing charger and my fishy omega pills.

[Kai]

Dropped all over the place everywhere. And I felt like it was a targeted attack on me. I really do. I feel like she came from my life. I mean, she literally physically came from my life because two shards of glass.

[Drew]

No, I came from your life.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. Like two. Two. I didn't get that one, but two shards of glass flew right at me. And it was very weird because what's funny is.

[Drew]

What's funny is you feel like you're attacked, but trust me, when I attack you, it will not feel like you were being attacked. You will know you're being attacked, you idiot. And guess what? Your knees are so pink, it's scaring me. Oh, specifically this one that's holding your weight. It's like. I don't know if it's the lighting, but literally.

[Kai]

Is that the meanest thing anyone has ever said?

[Drew]

I. I don't know if my face. But I looked down and I'm like. I was like. I was, like, caught off guard.

[Kai]

This something is off today.

[Drew]

Yeah, you never push this close enough to your side. And usually I fix it. Also, this thing will break.

[Kai]

I know. Any. Any day now, it's just gonna collapse.

[Drew]

Half of the things in our house are things that, like, friends of ours who already lived here gave to us when we first moved here. And it's five years in and we have not replaced anything. No, but we're working on it. Working on it.

[Kai]

Working on it. Dina J. Dilla. I know a thing or two.

[Drew]

There was something we were going to talk about on the podcast. I was like, that's going to be good to talk about on the podcast. I fully forgot.

[Kai]

It literally took us like four hours to finish an hour and 30 long movie. Because, like, we would watch it for 15 minutes in pure silence. And then someone would stream fucking hardcore porn to the TV for everybody to watch. And we were like, oh, stop, wait. But like, who is this? What episode is this?

[Drew]

No. And then because someone broke the silence, we would all start airplaying things.

[Kai]

Things to, like, try to get the laugh out.

[Drew]

Also, I. This is actually gonna make you upset, me bringing this up. But that night when I did the whispering thing and it pissed you off.

[Kai]

Oh, that. Literally, I was like, holy shit. Like, I am being bullied right now. I was the target of the night that everybody just attacked. And typically, I'm like, yeah, sometimes I deserve this. Like, I really do deserve this. But I walked into that room, made a joke about me being like, oh, like, I'm covering the tv. I'm covering the tv. And then Enya and Orion, like, were like, buddy, buddy, all night. And they. She whispered in Orion's ears and both of them died laughing. And then I was just like, okay, fuck this.

[Drew]

Let me finish, let me finish.

[Kai]

I'm out.

[Drew]

Let me say from my point of view. So we were trying to put on a movie. We got one on, and slowly all the boys left the room. So then it was me, Elisa, and Orion. And we were like, damn, they really just left. Whatever. And then Elisa and. And Christian had mentioned this movie. So we were like, let's Watch it. So we start the movie, and we're like, 15 minutes in, and Drew comes in and does that. And then I was like, oh, my God. Like, I made a comment, and then that fueled him more to bully me more. And he goes, oh, my name is Enya. I don't want anyone to talk. Like, he said something like that, being a dickhead to me. And I was like, oh, my God, you bitch. And then he sat down, and I was like, oh, my God. And I had paused the movie, and he was like, oh, I'm going to pause the movie because Drew's making too much noise. Like, he kept going from the corner of the couch. So then I was like, no. Orion started laughing, and I was like, wait, Orion, come here. And I whispered in her ear, and.

[Kai]

I was just going, I don't believe it. There's no way. There was. There was real words shared, and y' all are just having swear on my mother's urns.

[Drew]

Where on everyone in my family's life. Like, literally, I didn't say anything for a second. And because she knew that I was doing it to make him mad, it made her crack up so hard to. So then I started laughing so hard, and I just kept going until Drew was like, you didn't say anything. He just got up and walked away.

[Kai]

And then I walked into the boys room and was like, okay. And he's actually fucking pissing me off. Like, I was just joking. But she took it too far and whispered some shit. How was I supposed to know that There was nothing to be fair?

[Drew]

Right after, I was like, dude, he actually thinks we said something. So I texted him, but I don't think you had your phone on you. I. Me and Orion both texted him, and.

[Kai]

We were like, y' all were high as shit. So it was probably like, damn. Like, I up, like, even more than I normally would.

[Drew]

No, you know what's stupid is, like, it was pissing me off. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, now. I was like, oh, no, I'm.

[Kai]

So the apology didn't come from a real place. You literally are. So the apology didn't come from a real place, But I'm. I've never get.

[Drew]

And I went into the room, and I was like, drew, I didn't say anything, by the way. And he went, yeah, right? And then he just, like, kept watching.

[Kai]

What they were watching. It's simple. It's simple. Like, I don't need an apology or pity. Like, if you're going to be mean to me, be mean to Me. And I'll internalize it forever.

[Drew]

I literally don't even. I. I don't think there's anything I could say about you to Ryan that would make us laugh as hard as the idea of saying something to make you upset.

[Kai]

Well, I'm an insecure person, so.

[Drew]

Hey, hey. Better help babes. Not me. Not here. This. This isn't the space for that. Here.

[Kai]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Drew]

Wait, let me see your iPhone.

[Kai]

No, but there. Yeah, okay, okay, fair, fair.

[Drew]

But that was really funny. That whole night was just so funny. I love. Like, I started this sentence literally two podcasts ago, and I remember I didn't finish it because it was the episode where I was mentioning how I piss myself very often from laughing too hard. But I was saying this on the phone to a friend yesterday. I was like, dude, it genuinely is. Oh, because yesterday you said something really funny in my room that, like, made.

[Kai]

Me laugh, and I was, like, just.

[Drew]

Pissed me from that.

[Kai]

I don't even remember what it was.

[Drew]

I don't know. There was, like, three things yesterday that made me laugh so hard from you, and I don't remember them, but, see, it's because we laugh so hard as a friend group all the time that I literally don't remember half of the things we say to each other. But that is such. That is such an honor to be living a life where I am surrounded by such funny people that I am constantly pissing myself and giving myself the.

[Kai]

And the fact that you're constantly doing that and not giving me the panties after is crazy.

[Drew]

What? Wait, why do you want them?

[Kai]

There was a TikTok of us. Of us, like, doing, like, looking. There have been so many tik toks lately of me specifically, that, like, y' all need to chill because, like, I got rid of my ego, but, like, it's fully back now. Hold on, let me see if I saved any of these them. Because anytime someone compliments me, it inflates my ego in, like, a way that, like, I don't think the person understands what they're doing to me. Like, they really don't get it. They. It's like, actually, when people compliment me, it's actually more up if they didn't compliment me. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's doing more damage to me than if they said something mean to me.

[Drew]

I know. I literally know.

[Kai]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean stop complimenting me, because I literally am only alive for moments like that. Like, actually, like, if. If y' all don't compliment Me, I would be dead.

[Drew]

So then how did you go literally.

[Kai]

24 years of your life bear that cross. This is. I'm gonna. You're gonna die on that hill. You're trying to break another glass.

[Drew]

I have such bad luck. Oh, but the glass I broke the other day was our Brita filter is like on the top shelf and then at the bottom I will put my cup there and have it filling up because I'm a lazy so want to sit there for like three minutes like filling it up. And I had it doing that and I was on my iPhone and the glass hit the ground and shattered everywhere. All over my feet. And I screamed so loud.

[Kai]

And then I. I was like, enyo, are you okay? And she just ignored me.

[Drew]

I couldn't hear you cuz the tik tok I was watching mid all that happening was like.

[Kai]

And I was like, oh, this for real died. So I yelled again. I was like, are you okay? And she was like, yes, yes.

[Drew]

Yeah, now you're looking at my iPhone screen.

[Kai]

This podcast. Let's just get on text. I'm just gonna watch some tiktoks. Let's do the tin scroll challenge on Tick Tock right now.

[Drew]

What is that?

[Kai]

You go to.

[Drew]

I hate.

[Kai]

Oh my God. You go to your for you page and then you scroll 10 times and then I'm screen recording. So this one's about minerals.

[Drew]

I. I can't do that because it's. It's just pretty girls. What was that? Wait, go back. Your timeline is awful.

[Kai]

My dad, my stepdad just gave me 90 bucks. My mom bought a season passes to Six Flags. I'm getting my industrial repierce next weekend. My relationship with my mom is getting better. Old friends started reaching out and started talking again. This sound really does work. I'm gonna save that. I have to save that sound. I'm gonna use it later.

[Drew]

Do you have old friends that need to reach out? Yeah, I do.

[Kai]

Dude, my for you page is terrible. It's because I literally like every single video that pops up.

[Drew]

I know when Drew screenplays his phone to the TV for us to watch Tick Tocks. I watch him like every single thing we scroll.

[Kai]

It's so bad.

[Drew]

I'm just gonna do the 10 scroll and then I'll show which one I land on. One, two.

[Kai]

No, no, you show no because it's literally it.

[Drew]

Although it's public online and like. Yeah, but since it's just like a bunch of pretty women, like I feel like it's like low key weird to like just be like, so here's my timeline, and it's just, like, a bunch of girls hella feeling themselves.

[Kai]

Well, I just did mine, and that's basically what I'm scrolling down for. 8 and a half hours a day. And I really wish that number was an exaggeration.

[Drew]

No, see, I can't put this one on here.

[Kai]

Wait, I can't. What does it say? I actually can't read that.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

I swear to God, I tried so hard to read that. It makes no sense in my brain.

[Drew]

Kai's on my timeline, and then someone making a nasty vegan hot dog. That's my 10th scroll. Or is this a candle?

[Kai]

I think it's the wax melts. They, like, make realistic food as wax.

[Drew]

That is what it is.

[Kai]

Oh, it's a candle.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That's cool.

[Drew]

This is some alley kind of content.

[Kai]

Who?

[Drew]

Ali Spagnola.

[Kai]

Oh, don't get me started about Ms. Bagana. I love Ali Spagnola. Ali Spagnolo. If you want to be on the podcast, come through. Come through.

[Drew]

Come.

[Kai]

Okay, no one is talking about this and this. Actually, I was enlightened the other day to it, and I was like, wait, what the fuck? Like, okay, follow me. Lgbtq, right? We love them. We love those people. They're great people, but I didn't realize. What I didn't realize is what it stood for. The L. Let's the G go. No, The B. Brandon.

[Drew]

Who's Brandon?

[Kai]

The T trump the Q. Qanon. The plus. Jesus's cross. So they've been with us the whole time.

[Drew]

I don't know if that's what that means. I thought it meant, like, let's get today.

[Enya]

That's what it is.

[Drew]

And Quiznos plus.

[Kai]

It's not let's go, Brandon Trump.

[Drew]

No, I think it's, let's get bitches today. And then the plus. You just put it there. Like, plus Quiznos. Let's get bitches and Quiznos today.

[Enya]

Even more. Yeah, I think.

[Kai]

Oh, because you get bitches at Quiznos.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's what I pull.

[Kai]

Okay, that's really fucked up and weird.

[Drew]

Wait, where did you get that explanation? That is not what that means.

[Enya]

Where are you getting your information, Drew?

[Kai]

I don't. I. I don't. I don't have to answer that question if I don't want to, so I'm not going to.

[Drew]

Are you being held hostage where you paid to say that?

[Kai]

No, I'm not. I'm not being held hostage. Help me.

[Drew]

The thing is.

[Kai]

Help me.

[Drew]

Huh? Wait. Every time I go to hey, don't look at me.

[Kai]

This is in our way.

[Enya]

Oh, yeah. It's getting. It's getting in between us.

[Kai]

Holy. Holy. I completely forgot this happened, but two days ago, two days ago, I was so tired for literally no reason at all. Like, there was zero reason for me to be this tired. But anyways, me and India were chilling in my bed because she was little sister mode. And I just knocked the out with India in my room. Just on my bed, fully closed, lights on. And per usual, I fell asleep on my arm.

[Drew]

Per usual, I get no play.

[Kai]

Where the fuck are you? I fell asleep on my arm and I woke up, like, at 1:30 in the morning. I fell asleep, what, at like 10:55 or something? And I'm not kidding, I have never felt my arm be so unalive before in my entire life. I genuinely thought I, like, had completely killed my arm. Like, there was no blood in it. It, like, was fully limp. Like, I wish I could describe. I actually felt like I had a dead person's limb on me. It was crazy.

[Enya]

But did you touch your stinky pepper?

[Kai]

Oh, Kai, of course I jerked myself off with my dead hand. It felt like it wasn't mine. Okay, it literally looks like I do touch my penis, but I, like, I could not pick it up. I literally could not pick it up. Like, I wish you could feel like I can actually feel what I'm feeling right now.

[Drew]

I'm sure you said this to Kai so I can put it on screen.

[Kai]

I, like, tried to lift it up and I couldn't. The end is crazy. But, yeah.

[Drew]

Did I see that?

[Kai]

See what? Oh, I need to never wear these shorts on this podcast. It looks like I have a bony.

[Drew]

Can I see your huge wiener?

[Kai]

There is a video that Kai sees, and every time he sees it, he's like, damn, you look so hung in this.

[Enya]

Yeah, you look like you have a coke can penis.

[Drew]

Coke can penis. But that video is so funny because also when he woke up, I thought he woke up from hearing me play Call of Duty Fortnite. And I was like, I was screaming too loud and I was like, did you wake up from that? He's like, no, but I, I. You will not believe what just happened. And he showed me that video and I, like, laughed so hard because I was like, dude, I thought there was gonna be like, look, there was a huge spider in my bed. Like, there was a fucking rat in the corner.

[Kai]

I saw the spider crawling on my wall. Like, you. There was a spider crawling on my wall. And then you came in like, three minutes later and sat right up against that wall, and he didn't say anything because I was just like, I'm just gonna leave him and let him roam. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Drew]

I went to the dentist for the first time, and I only have one cavity, which is pretty impressive.

[Kai]

Oh, are you gonna get it filled?

[Drew]

I have to wait till we get back. Yeah, you could fill it, though. I know something you can fill it with.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

He started laughing the second you said Phil.

[Kai]

I laugh at. Laughs at the word filled and stuffed.

[Enya]

Like, I love those words. Dude, I went to this. I went to. I think it's la pergoletta in purgatory. No, no, it's an Italian restaurant.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Enya]

But there I went with Skyler and, like, all of the pasta is, like, stuffed gnocchi, like, filled, creamy pesto. And I was, like, crying, laughing.

[Kai]

Name some of them off the top of your head. What you call creamy buffalo and stinky beef bolognese.

[Enya]

Yeah, buffalo mozzarella. Boba. I like to make boba sometimes. Yeah, me and Drew can make me make a lot of boba.

[Kai]

I make Kai make boba.

[Enya]

Yeah, the stinky crema.

[Kai]

Yes, stinky crema. There's pesto something.

[Enya]

Yeah, the stinky pesto. Buffalo mozzarella.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Drew's the crema king, though.

[Kai]

It's. It's like things he calls his semen.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I caught up so that I.

[Kai]

Think I was following that creamy buffalo sauce.

[Enya]

Oh, lemon meringue pie.

[Kai]

Sorry.

[Drew]

Lemon meringue pie. Like, that one's not even, like. That's, like a full, like. Like, hard dish.

[Kai]

You know what?

[Enya]

Yeah, Crack the top of the creme brulee. That's another one I say sometimes there.

[Kai]

It's actually fucked up that, like, to the normal person ear, like, that means nothing to anybody. But every single time I hear you say that or read it on a menu, my brain immediately goes there in, like, a very fucked up way. And, like, I can't eat creamy buffalo mozzarella anymore, dude.

[Enya]

I cannot see the word crema on a menu without blacking out.

[Drew]

I'm creaming right now. What the were we talking about? Like, how did it go there? I feel like we were saying something, and then it, like, ended up there.

[Enya]

Oh, yeah, the dentist.

[Drew]

My dentist. I do have one cavity. And then I was saying that to Josh as a flex, and he was like. When I was like, oh, my God, I went to the dentist, and it was actually so, like, I didn't. I basically had nothing. And then he was like, not even a cavity. And I was like, I had a cavity.

[Kai]

And then he was like, oh, well, that's not. Basically nothing.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's, like, a thing.

[Kai]

I. Growing up, I had really gnarly acid reflux as, like, a young child, like, 9, 7, 8, 9. And because of that, when I would sleep at night, my stomach acid would bubble up into my mouth as I slept, and it melted all of the enamel off of my teeth. So, like, from age 7 on, for the rest of my life up until now, like, anytime I go to the dentist, I just have cavities because I don't have that protective layer everybody has. I just really have fucked up teeth, and it sucks.

[Drew]

Well, my teeth were borderline perfect other than my one cavity. And I don't have to get my wisdom teeth removed again because I'm the perfect woman.

[Kai]

What was. What was the pain back there?

[Drew]

It was from grinding my jaw at night.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Which makes sense. No, Guy. What's so funny about that? I grind in my sleep, like, all the time.

[Enya]

I thought you were gonna make a joke.

[Kai]

I was gonna make a joke, but I let you go.

[Drew]

We're gonna make a head joke. Yeah, but we spoke about how much pressure that puts on me, so it's just.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, right. That is the best video of all time. Right?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Right. You ever had a Krispy Kreme? Was it Krispy? Right, right. Have you ever had a Krispy Kreme? Have you ever gone to Krispy Kreme? Was it crispy?

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

Yeah, right, right. That video is sick. The other video that's really sick is. I've been thinking about that.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, we have to play that one.

[Kai]

More than a million kids come up missing per year. What do y' all think happened to these kids? And every time people come up missing, the more and more people come up missing, the more they release more chicken sandwiches. And I'm noticing that girl I'm getting on my goddamn iPhone because I don't have service in this house.

[Drew]

Dude. I. We can't. I don't use the WI FI in our house because it's so bad.

[Kai]

More than a million kids come up missing per year. What do y' all think happened to these kids? And every time people come up missing, the more and more people come up missing, the more they release more chicken sandwiches. And I'm noticing that. I'm noticing that, dude, his eye.

[Drew]

His eye movement is what makes it so good, because he believes he's literally tapping his finger, and he's like.

[Kai]

He fully believes it. And I honestly, I believe that he believes it too.

[Drew]

I will say you had a vegan chicken sandwich the other day, and I looked at the inside of it and.

[Kai]

I was like, oh, that's just dust and plastic. Dust, plastic.

[Drew]

That's micro plastics.

[Kai]

Yeah. Fillers, oils, soy. What is a soy boy?

[Enya]

I think a soy boy is someone that is like, oh, I don't eat any meat because it's bad.

[Kai]

Okay?

[Enya]

I like, only watch, like, cnn.

[Kai]

So me.

[Enya]

Yeah, literally, it's both of us, man. I'm not gonna lie.

[Drew]

You eat like. What are you talking about?

[Kai]

I just eat plant based. Three meals.

[Drew]

You lowkey, do eat plant based because all you have is corn.

[Kai]

Literally looking at everything in our cabinet and realizing it's all corn. It's crazy. It's been corn the whole time. Not, like, physically corn, but like corn syrup processed corn bread. Cornbread at that point.

[Drew]

That is not corn. Like, what is that? They have to change the name of that.

[Kai]

That's what I'm saying. Like, actually, life is magic and you cannot tell me otherwise. Like, I'm being dead serious. Like, what? Nothing makes sense. And you can go as like, science, blah, blah, blah, explaining all this shit. But no, I don't know.

[Drew]

It's literally me in high school. Like, I fudgeing hated science classes because I was like, dude, what makes life awesome is actually having no idea how this works. And I don't want to know. Like, literally a biology class. I fucking hated that. I was like, I don't know what's on. I don't want to know. What exactly is on the inside of a deer. Like, what makes them awesome is that they're just like, there.

[Kai]

I'm like, actually explain to me how that cactus is alive. Like, literally, like, that makes no sense. It makes no sense. It make. My brain doesn't make sense. My insides don't make sense. Me making. Processing food and making energy out of it does not make sense. Where did you go? Come back to me.

[Drew]

I'm here, babe.

[Kai]

Come back to me. Baby, I'm here.

[Drew]

Where'd you go, baby? Nowhere.

[Kai]

I'm.

[Drew]

Here you go, baby.

[Kai]

Baby, are you mine forever?

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

Are you mine forever?

[Enya]

Wait, dude, no, I can't.

[Kai]

I can't do it. Please, you don't have to.

[Enya]

Wait. Oh, someone's phone is, like, close to the wire.

[Drew]

No, he's just doing that so that you don't.

[Kai]

Don't yell at me, Kai.

[Enya]

I'm not yelling at you. I'm trying to get the quality of the audio to be as good as it can be.

[Kai]

That thing, that thing, that thing.

[Drew]

I don't understand how, like, computers work and you, like, can't pay me to sit down and learn. I've said that before.

[Enya]

I could easily.

[Drew]

No, no.

[Kai]

No. That was so funny. That hit a note in me. Like, that was crazy how quick that happened. Holy. But we taught rocks and metals its own language.

[Drew]

Oh, whoa.

[Enya]

That's true. I saw that. Tick tock.

[Kai]

Right?

[Enya]

Honestly, that's a good point.

[Kai]

That's crazy. This dude made a tick tock about, like, how computers are literally just rocks and metal, like, raw materials. And we taught it. We made up a language for it, which we gave it the language, and now it learned math from that language. So we should be able to teach ourselves anything because we taught rocks and metal how to fucking speak a language and then in turn, do math and in turn send rockets to space and, like.

[Drew]

And in turn get Fortnight.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

And update the item shop 24 hours.

[Kai]

You would not have. I want that fucking skin so bad.

[Drew]

It's gonna go away.

[Kai]

The Silver Surfer skin in the Fortnite shop right now is so lit. Why don't we have a creator code in Fortnite? I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking about that, actually.

[Drew]

I don't know how many of these bitches got up and went to play Fortnite because how often we talk about it. If anything, it's like this embarrassing part.

[Kai]

Of, like, that we think everybody's relating to.

[Drew]

We're like, am I the only one who, like, genuinely cannot go to bed without playing Fortnite?

[Kai]

Yes. Yes.

[Drew]

My addictive personality.

[Kai]

I haven't been playing video games lately. I'm on another thing where I'm bored of them. But I'm gonna try to play with my brothers today because I go to New York and I don't want to leave them hanging dry, you know, I.

[Drew]

Am getting to the point where fortnight, like, makes me so fucking unenjoyable. Like, literally yesterday, I was so pissed playing it, but also because our WI fi yesterday was lagging so fucking bad.

[Kai]

When I was in the bathroom, I couldn't watch my videos. Like, I. What?

[Drew]

What's so funny about that? My girl's trying to take a big fucking dump and she can't watch her video.

[Kai]

That's.

[Enya]

Okay.

[Kai]

The thing is, I go into that bathroom and I literally hang out. I don't. I know.

[Drew]

And you do it like you've two nights in a row, you've done it at the exact time where I'm like, all right, time to, like, go to bed and get ready. And yesterday, just, like, the night before, I didn't do my skincare because Drew just so happened to be in the bathroom when I was gonna go do.

[Kai]

It out in there, like, in a very real way way.

[Enya]

It is a really nice bathroom.

[Kai]

It is comfortable.

[Enya]

I feel like I'm in, like, Europe or something when I'm in there.

[Drew]

And then you come back out here, and you're like, oh.

[Kai]

And you're like, damn.

[Drew]

And. And you see the job where you get, like, mutilated and, like, hit.

[Enya]

I thought we weren't supposed to.

[Drew]

You get hit on that. Let's change the narrative. Kai doesn't get hit. He gets hit on.

[Kai]

If I were you and you were me, I personally would not take that.

[Enya]

I personally.

[Drew]

I wouldn't let that slide, like, all the time, people.

[Kai]

Nathaniel B.

[Drew]

We already. Nathaniel B. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Aren't you. Nathaniel Be. Nathaniel.

[Enya]

Wait, any. What were you saying you guys are talking about?

[Drew]

No, bitch. We said this on the last fudgeing episode already where people thought it was real, but it's gotten to the point where somebody made an edit of the podcast, and somebody who didn't follow any of us commented and was like, like, don't they abuse their audio engineer? Like, they, like, said that? And they were being dead ass about it. And I was like, dude, it's literally getting to a point that, like, what if a brand is like, I want to work with them? And they look up the podcast and the top thing is us hitting the. At a kind. They're like, whoa.

[Enya]

Oh, I didn't tell you what happened. Balenciaga hit up the podcast email. But I get those emails, and I was like.

[Drew]

You ratted us out?

[Enya]

Yeah. They were like, we want to work with you, but we don't know what's going on here. Like, can you just clarify that? And I was like, they beat the out of me. Don't. Apparently, they were gonna.

[Kai]

Balenciaga.

[Drew]

Yeah, Balenciaga.

[Kai]

What were they gonna do?

[Enya]

They're just gonna give you guys a hundred thousand dollars of stuff? I don't know, but I don't know what Balenciaga is. So I'm like, okay, well, it's probably not a big deal.

[Drew]

Kim Kardashian.

[Enya]

I don't know.

[Kai]

Ever heard of Demna?

[Drew]

Demna? Kim Kardashian? Kanye West. Gap, Ring a bell.

[Enya]

Gap easy, Gap, Ring a bell.

[Drew]

I don't bag Boots, House.

[Enya]

Okay, that rings.

[Drew]

That's ringing a bell. Bags, boots, and House. Okay, not to bring I. I bring him up way too much. But you know what I thought about the other day is the video of James Charles explaining the term the house. Do you remember that?

[Kai]

Yes. Yes, I literally do.

[Drew]

Hey, come sit on this lap. He just farted.

[Enya]

Damn. I have never seen you move your body like that. Holy.

[Drew]

I'm not touching.

[Kai]

Get your hand off of me.

[Drew]

Oh, you're reaching out for me.

[Kai]

Damn. I don't know. I don't need to go to the gym and do legs today because I just got my workout just now. Doing that.

[Drew]

You swatting my hand away was the funniest. On your dry ass hands. They were like this. They started like.

[Kai]

They're so dry right now and I put lotion all over them this morning. And I think. I think big lotion companies are putting prop into their lotion to keep your hands dry. Because I. That was the first time I put lotion on. My hands weren't dry before I put the lotion on, but after I put the lotion on after like an hour and a half, they're dry. Explain that to me. But they weren't dry before.

[Drew]

They weren't dry before because you haven't taken a shower in 48 hours. And your hair was so oily and you sit and you scratch your.

[Kai]

I showered last night, babe.

[Drew]

That was freaking me out. You showering at night. I was like.

[Kai]

I was like, I was gonna hop in the bath, but it was your bath night last night. So I was just like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna do like a quick shower and I took a cold ass shower because I was like, oh, I.

[Drew]

Literally did take a bath because I was like, this guy's in the shower.

[Kai]

Oh, no. I took a cold ass shower. Well, shit. Well, shit. Well, shit.

[Enya]

Should we. Should we talk about our big show? The big event, the performance?

[Kai]

Oh, yes. So Kai and I are DJing a festival in New York. And not only that, but we are headlining and closing out the entire festival.

[Enya]

Yeah, we're headlining, sure. Yeah. That's what we've been telling people, is that we're headlining.

[Kai]

Yeah. But it's not real. But we are playing the third day at the last time slot.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Kai]

So technically, I think we technically have the third day. Technically, that's a headline.

[Enya]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

But technically that is a headline spot. A fucking weekend.

[Enya]

So, yeah, if you're in New York, it's gonna be really sick. Why is it called that A weekend?

[Kai]

Literally a weekend.

[Enya]

It's like a. Yeah, it's because everybody has to. And it's on the weekend, so.

[Drew]

Also some of the glass left over was on the floor and my face fell right next to it and I was like, if I would have cut my face with this glass, I wouldn't.

[Kai]

Scarred yourself.

[Drew]

God. Stop giving your toughest battles to your strongest warriors. I am done.

[Kai]

I'm dead ass not going to the gym ever again. Like, I'm done.

[Drew]

I'm not kidding. I don't think you can put that on here.

[Enya]

We can.

[Drew]

Like, it is so graphic. Like literally you can see the wrinkle so of that man's balls.

[Kai]

I'm dead ass done going to the gym. Like for real. Crop that photo, Kai. What else do I have on my meme account? Oh, fucking Abraham Lincoln predicting COVID 19.

[Drew]

I hate that you think this is funny.

[Kai]

Okay, well, I actually don't have fucking service.

[Enya]

Wait, is it supposed to be playing?

[Kai]

No, I have it paused. Oh.

[Drew]

What time are we at?

[Kai]

32 minutes, 44 minutes.

[Drew]

Cut me saying that. Hey, cut me saying that. It sounds like, it sounds like I don't love my job.

[Kai]

Actually, I do have a note. So tell me this would, Tell me this would not be the. A really cool like psychological thriller show.

[Drew]

I thought you're going to say like.

[Kai]

A psychological, like torture hiring a hitman on yourself, then killing the hitman in self defense. What happens there? Like are you, since you hired it on yourself, did you murder that man or did you murder him in self defense? So it's not murder, but you paid him to kill you, but he didn't kill you.

[Drew]

I think you will get a double charge of hiring a hitman and murder.

[Kai]

But you did it out of self defense.

[Drew]

But you hired a hitman and then.

[Kai]

You murdered someone, but he was trying to murder you. And then you came to and you're like, actually I don't want to die.

[Drew]

But if that was the agreement, why wouldn't you just be like, hey, honestly. Or unless in the agreement prior you were like, no matter how much I beg, do it.

[Kai]

Exactly.

[Drew]

But like in the times you met the hitman, I'm sure there was a bond that formed because you're a lovable person.

[Kai]

Yeah, I am a lovable person.

[Drew]

So like I would imagine like if I hired a hitman, like it would start off as like just business and then I'd be like, honestly, like I'm really scared about dying. Like, can we just get a coffee and I'll talk to you about like what exactly I want. And because I'm so charming and charismatic, he'd be like, damn, like, I actually, like, I'm so sad that I have to kill this girl. And then when it comes to it, and I had told him already, hey, no matter what, don't kill me when it comes to it, he, like, is about to do. And he's like, I can't do it. I have to admit something like, I think I'm in love with you. And then that's where the show.

[Kai]

Then it becomes a crime of passion. Yeah, a crime of passion. But no one dies. It's the crime of passion.

[Drew]

What dies is your ego.

[Kai]

Yeah. Oh, but I was in the middle of that. You said, you're such a lovely person. And then it triggered a thought in my head where I was like, that's the first time Anya has ever complimented me.

[Drew]

You say that every single time I compliment you. Like, every single time I compliment you, it becomes a gaslight of you attacking me and being like, that's the first time you've ever said anything nice to me.

[Kai]

It's not me attacking you. It's just me stating the truth. And if you can't handle the truth, get the out.

[Drew]

I don't believe in the truth. That's not real. I live in, like, a true reality and you're living in a make believe world. See, what are you talking?

[Enya]

I'm Drew's penis pilled.

[Kai]

You'll all see. You'll all see.

[Drew]

True.

[Kai]

Crazy. The Walking Phoenix. Lady Gaga.

[Drew]

I know. Musical.

[Kai]

Musical. Joker. Musical.

[Drew]

That's going to be everything. That is going to be so good. Joker was such a good movie. Like, it literally was. Why has no one said that before?

[Kai]

I don't think anybody's ever, like, had that take before, actually. Oh, my God. Anya, relax. It's not. It's really not that deep. Like, you don't have to freak out.

[Drew]

You're off center the whole time. But I'm excited to see that.

[Kai]

No one has ever said the Joker was a good movie before.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, why does no one talk about that? Yeah, why does that one talk about the phenomenon that is getting a little drunk with your friends and then proceeding to watch every single Lady Gaga Beyonce video, like, on their catalog?

[Kai]

It's crazy. We always start with like, telephone.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And then it ends up going to Lana Del Rey, then Judas and then like, like, literally there's so many, like, just hits that come on after that.

[Drew]

Yeah. What's up with the drinks to music video pipeline?

[Kai]

Yeah. Does that happen for anybody else? Like, I feel like that happens to everyone.

[Drew]

I did see a TikTok that it was like before you knew it. One day you're 24 and this is your life. And it literally was a group of friends doing that. And like one of the friends watching Lady Gaga on turning and being like she was 24 during this, that freaks me out. That is something I always do when I watch these videos. I'm like, fuck. Not only does this person look so fucking hot.

[Kai]

Who is Lady Gaga?

[Drew]

You don't know who Lady Gaga is?

[Kai]

No, I don't actually know who that is. I have no reason to know who that is.

[Drew]

Wait, why would you say that? She's. She's like an artist. She makes music.

[Kai]

I know, but like, I have never heard her music before.

[Drew]

So, like, the way you're sitting would suggest otherwise. But every time I'm watching these videos, I look the women up and then I'm like, shit. I used to watch it and be like, okay, so she's 22 when she made this. Have two years to get that hot. I'll figure it out.

[Kai]

I unironically do that with basketball players as well. Like, I'll see them, like, being 19 years old, playing in the NBA and like dunking it. And then I'm like 24 or 16 on my couch, like, looking up to them and like, being like, you are my hero. And I want to be like, wait.

[Drew]

You'Re talking about the past or you mean because you are 16?

[Kai]

16. Oh, okay. Yeah. But no, I mean, you have three years. At my old ass age, I'll like look back and be like, damn, they're like doing this with their life right now. I'm doing this.

[Drew]

I know. I'm like, like, Beyonce is literally like in this ring. Wait, let's see how old she is in that video. Because I'm thinking of a specific Beyonce video. Ring the alarm. Because I know, I know I have a year to look the way Lady Gaga looked during a certain era. So I have like six months to get my together.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

Which hopefully I could turn that out.

[Kai]

But what was she 24 in? Telephone?

[Drew]

Let's find out. Ring the alarm. Beyonce, 2006. Wait, how old was Beyonce in 2006? Okay, okay. I thought I said she was 22. She was 25.

[Kai]

Okay, so you gotta, like, you got some time.

[Drew]

Yeah, I haven't. I have time. Thank you, Jesus.

[Kai]

Okay, you, like, genuinely convinced that you're gonna look like Beyonce in two years?

[Drew]

How old was no Lady Garo look so good in the telephone video?

[Kai]

I have really good cap genetics. Look at that.

[Enya]

Well, you're pushing it out, right? Oh, no, you're not. Damn, they look really good.

[Kai]

No, I am.

[Drew]

Lady Gaga was 23 years old in that video.

[Kai]

Whoa.

[Enya]

Yeah. You have really? I don't know.

[Drew]

Was 23.

[Kai]

Damn. In telephone.

[Drew]

In telephone. How about Judas? No, this is going to hurt my she.

[Kai]

What? She was like, 27 in Judas. She better have been 27. And Judas, she's probably 26. Damn. They were young as.

[Drew]

I hate this.

[Kai]

That is crazy. I always saw them and I thought they were, like, 38 years old in those videos.

[Drew]

But, like, okay, she was 25.

[Kai]

Damn.

[Drew]

Okay, so I have a year. I have a year.

[Kai]

Hurry up.

[Drew]

And I'm already late because the way she looked in telephone. I'm not there.

[Kai]

They were grown as. Like, they looked grown as.

[Drew]

I know. That's. That's something I always think about. Like, obviously I look like an adult, but, like, why am I not serving that? Like, but you know what's crazy is I bet to some people. No. To some people, I am serving Lady Gaga.

[Kai]

Some people, I am serving Beyonce.

[Drew]

Yeah. I am, like, serving like. Like, literally. Look at my frumpy ass right now. I'm like. I'm serving like, like, my ugly ass shirt and jeans. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, serving.

[Kai]

It's giving Gaga.

[Drew]

Also, I meant frumpy as in my frumpy clothing. Don't take my words out of context, you damn. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. That's, like, not on you. Like, I. Maybe, like, maybe that's on me. Psych. You're a fucking bitch and I fucking hate you.

[Kai]

Holy shit, man.

[Drew]

Fucking come for me. Shit. I'll fucking kill you, motherfucker.

[Kai]

Okay, let's read this one. I was laying down in bed with my eyes closed, awake. And all of a sudden, I get this very real feeling, memory slash flashback to preschool of me biting a kid, flipping him off, then building a fort out of big red cardboard bricks. And then I had the audacity to cry.

[Drew]

Okay, that's literally everybody who's like, I just made a song. And then they start singing that with.

[Kai]

A guitar like a B. I had.

[Drew]

A dream I was in preschool.

[Kai]

Just started crying.

[Drew]

What was that thought that you wrote down? Is that, like, you just woke up?

[Kai]

And I. I literally have no idea where that came from. It was. It was supposed to be in last episodes, but I didn't read it, because I read it and I was like, what the is this? And then I was just like, I read it now I've grown enough since then my.

[Drew]

I grow every day. That's the thing, that's what no one wants to talk about is my growth every day. Specifically in my breast area. Don't touch them. Don't touch them. They're off limits.

[Kai]

I.

[Drew]

This is gonna be the last episode in this kitchen for a while.

[Kai]

Yeah, I've been growing down the past six months. I feel like I grew up, hit the peak and now I'm like at like a dead cat bounce kinda. Those are stock terms if you really needed to know. Invest your money unironically though. Invest your money.

[Drew]

Nothing is real. Because I was thinking about like money investing the other day and I was like, dude, what's crazy is like all of that could crash. And then what? I just have to like be like, damn, I tried.

[Kai]

It's only gone up for the last 100 years only.

[Drew]

I just don't believe in anything. Like I'm. I'm not kidding. You can't explain it to me. I don't believe in it. See, Kai, Grace is making has been reality pilled.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Make your money work for you. You can make 7.5% compound interest on your investments. Look, put. If you put like 5k in now, by the time you're 65, let's say low 7.5%.

[Drew]

What if I die?

[Kai]

Then you try.

[Drew]

Do they get to keep that money?

[Kai]

No, it's your money. So it goes to like whoever you want it to.

[Drew]

But I don't think my family would know how to get that out of there.

[Kai]

They could probably figure it out.

[Drew]

I think they'll be too busy mourning the death of their.

[Kai]

I'm just saying be financially.

[Drew]

I invest in that. That's what I invest in. Never mind.

[Kai]

Okay. Jesus Christ. None of my messages are sending.

[Drew]

Jesus H. Christ. Where does the H come from? Like, have you heard someone say that before? Like Jesus H. Christ.

[Kai]

Have you heard the age come from.

[Enya]

It's for holiday. It's for like the holiday. Christmas. Jesus. Holiday Christmas.

[Drew]

I looked it up and somewhere it said that his middle name was Harold. But also that's not real.

[Kai]

Harold is the worst.

[Drew]

Jesus. Harold Christ.

[Enya]

I feel like Harold wasn't a name yet at that point.

[Drew]

Yeah, that dropped in like 2010.

[Kai]

Yeah, well the Bible is fake.

[Drew]

Oh my God.

[Kai]

The truth is the only truth.

[Drew]

Wait, what? Now you're denouncing like everything but the Drewth.

[Kai]

Where the fuck is the H? What does the H mean?

[Drew]

I looked it up, I couldn't find it. I hate that Google shows you fucking. I've said this before. I think I. Everything I say, I've repeated it. And I don't give a fuck. Fuck you.

[Kai]

Just listen to me.

[Drew]

I hate that Google shows you shit from, like, 1917 and fucking 15 BC now. Like, I don't need to know what the fuck bitches thought was the answer to this question in 1914. Like, I don't need to know. I need to know what bitches in 2022 think the answer is, because those are people living in my reality.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I don't know what they were doing in 1901. Like. And you know what? More importantly, I don't give a fuck. And fuck the Beatles.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, did you see that thing that I was like, someone's like, in the. When we enter, like, the 30th century, like, there. No more of the Beatles will be alive. And then someone quoted it with. And the music was still playing over, and they were like, like, let's go.

[Kai]

The Beatles really did trans. They really did transform music.

[Drew]

Because I'm not listening. I'm not listening.

[Kai]

Where's the pipeline from the Beatles to eat? Like, I don't. There's no connection there. Like, genuinely, you have to go through.

[Drew]

So many artists to get to that.

[Kai]

That it's like, actually what Playboy Cardi did for music is what people think. Think the Beatles did.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And I actually believe that.

[Drew]

And I wholeheartedly believe that. Like, could the Beatles make International Players Anthem?

[Kai]

No, no. Could the Beatles make Yesterday?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah. And if they had it, if they.

[Drew]

Dreamt it, because, like, that's cheating.

[Kai]

Could the Beatles.

[Drew]

You didn't even make that up.

[Kai]

Could the Beatles make Dark Paradise?

[Drew]

No, absolutely.

[Kai]

Absolutely not. But could Lana. I actually can't name a Beatles.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was gonna say Bathroom Window.

[Kai]

Is that a Beatles song?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Enya]

Bathroom Window.

[Drew]

Yeah. What? Swear to God. Swear to God.

[Kai]

Yellow Little Summer.

[Drew]

She came in through the bathroom window. Is that it? Or she broke out of the bathroom window.

[Kai]

I know there's a Beatles.

[Enya]

Oh, she came in through the bathroom Window.

[Drew]

That is such a long title. For no reason.

[Kai]

What's the. All the Beatles names?

[Drew]

See, they. They're so progressive to. They weren't taking into account the size of the iPhone screen because that title is too long.

[Kai]

What? That is so real.

[Drew]

Like, if they're. If they're so, like, ahead of the curve, why didn't they take streaming platforms into account?

[Kai]

And. Yeah, that is so real. Like, it's even, like, real for, like, YouTube video titles. Like, everything. Every sentence is getting shorter to fit on the iPhone screen. That is crazy. Not me.

[Drew]

Blowing your mind.

[Kai]

Can I blow your mind? Blew my back out. What are they all named? Because there's one. There's one Beatle that makes really good music with his wife.

[Enya]

Oh, it's John. John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, George Harrison, Aubrey Graham. And then Pete Best was.

[Kai]

Wait, Drake was a Beatle?

[Drew]

Wait, Pete Best? Who is that?

[Enya]

Pete Best is a guy that, like, was in it, and then I think he got kicked out or he left.

[Kai]

Wait, Drake was it right before they got.

[Drew]

Imagine fumbling the bag like that. I would actually kill.

[Enya]

Literally.

[Drew]

Yes. Drake was in the. No, Drake was in the Beatles and then left and then was frozen in time because he was like, now it's not the time. Like, it is not like the way I want it to be right now. Like, y' all are low key behind, and I'll let you do what you need to do so that later on I can, like, pick up the torch and, like, keep it moving.

[Enya]

Exactly. That's true.

[Kai]

There was John Lennon and then Ringo Starr.

[Drew]

That's not a name.

[Kai]

That's literally a dog.

[Drew]

That's not his birth name. That's two first names for a dog.

[Kai]

Johnny Depp.

[Drew]

My dog's Ringo.

[Kai]

And Star I have made.

[Drew]

So we're gonna get in trouble.

[Kai]

Putty ass jokes that y' all literally just have to ignore. But they're hearing them and they're like, wow, you have an advanced brain.

[Drew]

I remember I got Ringo Star a really real argument with somebody over the Beatles publicly on Twitter, and I'm, like, still friends with them, but it's just really funny. It was like, such a real argument. It was like a really real argument. Like, literally. It was such a real argument. It moved to DMS because this person was so pissed at me, like, making.

[Kai]

Jokes about the needles. I have to find this.

[Enya]

We need to not focus on stuff like that.

[Kai]

Is it Paul McCartney?

[Drew]

You know where your head is at?

[Enya]

We're on the same page.

[Drew]

It's up your ass and you need to take it out.

[Enya]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say, like, we're on the same page.

[Drew]

No, that's what I was gonna say. Like, we were on the same page. If. If you couldn't read and you're not following along correctly and I've already moved on three pages later.

[Enya]

I'm so stupid.

[Kai]

Yeah, okay. It's Ramon.

[Enya]

Thank you.

[Drew]

It's all love. It's all love.

[Kai]

Ram by Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney is a really good album. Specifically the song Ram on Ramon.

[Drew]

I was thinking of a different song. I was like, ram and dear boy. Huh?

[Enya]

Copyrights.

[Drew]

Yeah, girl. This is. This is not true.

[Enya]

What does that mean?

[Drew]

This isn't monetized anyway. We're acting like we're like, oh, we gotta cut that so we can get monetized. But the thing is, like, I'll leave it here. The Beatles are good, but, like, chill out. We have Tick Tock now. Like, now we have too many people making music if I'm gonna be real. But that's a different.

[Kai]

That is another conversation for another time.

[Drew]

But that's like, they're good, but damn, that's the hill you're gonna die on.

[Kai]

But the.

[Drew]

I guess for a lot of people, it's like, nostalgic based. They like listening to it.

[Kai]

The only people making, like, actually real music and waves in the industry, and I genuinely believe this is me and kai and our DJ.

[Drew]

You're not making music.

[Kai]

Literally. Tomorrow we're DJing tomorrow.

[Enya]

When this comes out, it'll be today.

[Drew]

Bob Boney is playing in Miami. Go.

[Enya]

Oh, I was just gonna promote our show again.

[Drew]

Dude, you're, like. You're, like, thirsty. Like, you, like, need, like.

[Enya]

I'm not.

[Drew]

You're neat to say it.

[Enya]

It's a really big night for us.

[Drew]

Some people watching this are going to the Bad Bunny concert in Miami tonight. And let's just say I'll be there. No.

[Kai]

Damn, Drew.

[Drew]

What the.

[Enya]

Do that again. That's crazy. I'm not joking. No, you are, actually. There is real muscle there.

[Kai]

Dude, you just.

[Drew]

You turned so red.

[Kai]

I know. I have real muscle.

[Enya]

You developing a hemorrhoid like me exploding.

[Kai]

The vein in my arm, and it shoots up into my brain and I have an aneurysm and die.

[Enya]

I can't wait until I can see you, like, shirtless, and I can just see the whole. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Is there anything.

[Enya]

There's so much definition forming.

[Drew]

Rhythm.

[Kai]

Sing for the rhythm Everybody knows that I'm the winner.

[Drew]

The thing is, since I don't know the song for a second, I was like, oh, my God, this is the first song I've heard him sing correctly.

[Kai]

I said every word wrong. Okay, let's tap into some media. Yeah, you know what? No, no, no, no.

[Enya]

Not this week.

[Drew]

Not today. I'm here for an hour. That's how much I care about you guys. My hair looks like.

[Kai]

What is the Lana Del Rey song? Ballerina, ballerina.

[Drew]

Queen of disaster.

[Kai]

Queen of disaster. That leak is simply Lana's best song she's ever made. That's actually not true. But if she put that song out it would have been a chart topping masterpiece. It's so good. But that song, Queen of Disaster, what else? What else? We got Mia Kai, what was the Mia song you showed me that was really good. Like XR2.

[Enya]

XR2.

[Kai]

Yeah, I listened to XR2. Bamboo Banga is really good. That whole album is just like perfect. Like, you can't tell me otherwise. And then Inya put on some nerd in the car. Specifically, they're like self titled album. No one ever really dies. And that is awesome. And we were taught. We had that conversation where, like, people hated on this album for literally no reason. Like, like, it is so good.

[Drew]

And I think such a good album.

[Kai]

I don't know if it's as good. Like, it's as good as their other albums to me, but I don't know if it was as revolutionary as their other albums were.

[Drew]

I would think so though, because, like, the reason we even listened to that is because we were listening to Hug Me and I was like, song is so. I was like, dude, this beat is literally a beat that Pharrell didn't use on that nerd album. And it literally is like, if you listen to it, it sounds like it was made within the same time frame. And. And they were made within the same time frame. And I was like, dude, this, like, this is such a loved song right now. But it literally is. Tyler actually has like a really good quote where he was talking about music and he was like, nowadays everybody wants so badly to say, like, if something was good or bad and, like, leave it there. No one wants to talk about, like, why they like it, how it makes them feel. Like all this shit, it's literally just like, this sucks. It's not what I wanted. I don't like it. Or it's like, like, this is good. It's everything. This is a new thing. I love it. But like, literally songs can grow on you songs.

[Kai]

And I fall victim to that so often where, like, yeah, like, I listen to an album and I'm like, this sucks. And I don't listen to it for three months and then I come back and I'm like, wait, this album is actually really awesome. And I just don't give it a chance on the first listen because it's not what I'm used to. And I do that literally with every single album. Yeah, the only album recently that I listened to first time and I was like, like, oh, this is great. Was Beyonce's Renaissance. Like, I love that album.

[Drew]

Yeah, I do it all the time too also.

[Kai]

But I'm biased.

[Drew]

I was gonna say something I fully forgot. Well, I forgot I went to go drink water and I literally, like, I swallowed the thought. It was, like, at the tip of my tongue. But, yeah, I like. Oh. I was gonna say also, you don't have to, like, love everything. You can like something that maybe isn't like this Cuddy masterpiece and just listen to it because you like it and it makes you feel good.

[Kai]

Stop.

[Drew]

I'm right here. You do this to me all the time. Like, you're a fucking slut. Like, I didn't know I was marrying someone who was for the people. Show them. Show them. Show them what you did in your mouth. You're embarrassed. No, not that.

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

What is on your lip?

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

You're mine forever and always.

[Drew]

Yeah. So stop giving yourself away.

[Kai]

Forever and always.

[Drew]

Doesn't feel like it most of the time.

[Kai]

But the only reason I do that is because I don't get it.

[Drew]

Because.

[Kai]

From you. Well, because you don't give what you're supposed to give to me.

[Drew]

No, we'll have this conversation some other time because you're pissing me.

[Kai]

No, let's have it now.

[Drew]

No, they don't.

[Kai]

Let's have it now.

[Drew]

They don't need to see.

[Kai]

No, they are our everything. They deserve to see it.

[Drew]

They have to see the good and the bad, literally. My media of the week is Automatic by Hikaru Utada Shorty Shorty by Extreme. Still listening to Madonna. So good. I've just been listening to a lot of old bachata and Regatton because it reminds me of being a child and having no worries and being able to run around. Not on the Outside by Sylvia I repeat, media all the way. Huh? What?

[Kai]

The one you just said. I haven't heard this.

[Drew]

And then I've been listening to Cupid the Lock, which I've said before, and 1979.

[Kai]

Oh, I love 1975. They're so good.

[Drew]

No, 1979 by the smashing Pumpkins. True. Yeah. Yeah. And I've just been. That's it. That's honestly it. And then other songs that are on rotation are just like the classics. Like the usual for me.

[Kai]

The simple classics. What are in rotation? Oh, just Steve Lacey.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've been listening to that Steve Lacey album. Still. Cody Freestyle.

[Kai]

Kai texted me.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. So annoying.

[Kai]

Let's do this.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

He's here.

[Drew]

He's here. You just said that. He's here.

[Enya]

Always been here.

[Kai]

He was here the whole time and I've been here.

[Enya]

For 58 weeks.

[Drew]

You need to leave.

[Kai]

Kai, did you see that? The video that I sent you is us walking into clandestine.

[Enya]

Which one?

[Kai]

The one that I sent you.

[Enya]

Oh, of like the guys doing calisthenics?

[Kai]

Yes. Or like, like, that's us in the middle. Acro, James. Okay.

[Drew]

Okay, bye. Thank you so much.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. No, but actually, guys, thank you so much for everything. Unironically, though.

[Drew]

No, for real. For. For real, for real, for real, for real.

[Enya]

And my video of the week is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno, Cheez it Crackers, Oscar Meyer lunchables, and Just Bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.