Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Drew Got Veneers"

Release Date: May 27, 2022

Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Guest Participants: Kai and Orion

Introduction

In the episode titled "Drew Got Veneers," hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips engage in their signature comedic banter, joined by regulars Kai and Orion. The episode delves into personal anecdotes, humorous mishaps, and reflective conversations about vanity, social media, and early internet experiences. Amidst the laughter, the central theme revolves around veneers and the ensuing chaos they introduce into the hosts' lives.

The Veneer Debacle

Kai's Veneers Gone Awry

The episode kicks off with Drew teasing Kai about his new veneers, setting the stage for a series of comedic exchanges.

• [00:50] Drew: "Feeling really ugly. So if you have any comments about my appearance, don't say anything."

• [00:58] Kai: "Honestly, lately I've been feeling fantastic. I've been feeling sexy as fuck. Just don't ask me to say my S's because I can't save them because I got veneers and I'm not used to it yet."

Kai reveals that he recently got veneers via a Groupon deal in Arizona, leading to immediate complications as parts of them begin to fall out shortly after.

• [02:21] Drew: "We should have got the teeth paint."

• [05:04] Drew: "Wait, you saying the thing about they're removable. Your teeth shaved down under there."

The conversation escalates as Kai describes the unsettling experience of getting veneers from a dubious provider, including a visit to a creepy house with elements of drug use and the use of makeshift dental tools.

• [02:51] Kai: "They took me to this, like, really scary house. People were, like, overdosing on fentanyl in the front... they started chiseling away."

Drew expresses concern over the quality and safety of Kai's veneers, humorously questioning the professionalism of the service.

• [02:36] Drew: "Is it because they're cheap?"

Kai confirms the dubious nature of the provider, highlighting the low cost but questionable practices.

• [02:39] Kai: "They shaved my teeth down. It's like it was worth it. They cut them."

The veneers continue to deteriorate, causing Kai embarrassment and frustration.

• [04:04] Orion: "It just. Something really strange is happening to the bottom of your beard way right here."

• [04:13] Drew: "You just ripped it off."

• [05:27] Kai: "Why do you think I wear the hat?"

Kai's attempt to maintain his appearance leads to further comedic moments as his veneers and beard fall apart, culminating in him declaring his intention to remove his beard entirely.

• [05:56] Drew: "I get called up ugly. I had to rip out my veneers and my beard. I'm so ugly."

Celebrating Milestones with Mayhem

The Ad Banner and Confetti Cannon

In a bid to celebrate securing advertisements, the hosts decide to unveil a banner, triggering an over-the-top confetti cannon that engulfs the studio.

• [07:35] Drew: "We got something to celebrate. It's like a gender reveal."

The ensuing chaos includes confetti explosion, damage to the ceiling, and temporary sensory overload for the participants.

• [08:17] Orion: "I feel like I just got flashbang."

• [08:27] Drew: "We didn't even say anything."

Despite the mess, the hosts humorously embrace the situation, turning it into a part of the show's narrative.

• [09:02] Kai: "We suck."

• [09:32] Drew: "This has been very natural and chill."

Dreams and Altered Realities

Exploring Strange Dreams

The hosts shift gears to discuss bizarre and humorous dreams, offering insights into their subconscious fears and desires.

• [10:07] Kai: "It was literally an orgy where no sex happened, but it was initiated..."

• [12:51] Drew: "In my dream, I went with, like, I was with Orion and we went to an esthetician to both..."

Kai recounts a dream about orchestrating a non-consensual gathering, reflecting his discomfort with leadership roles in social settings.

• [10:28] Orion: "People hanging out."

• [10:39] Drew: "Mine was... I just don't want to say it."

Drew shares a vivid dream about getting lip fillers, which segues into a humorous discussion about elective surgeries and their potential mishaps.

• [13:59] Kai: "$34 me with my $180 veneers."

• [14:18] Kai: "That's the thing with any kind of elective surgery..."

Reflections on Early Internet Experiences

Nostalgia for the Early Days of Social Media

The conversation takes a nostalgic turn as the hosts reminisce about their formative years with early social media platforms like Ask FM, YikYak, Keek, and Omegle.

• [29:32] Kai: "I never had one. Like, I never did one publicly."

• [34:15] Drew: "Yes, I had Kick. That was hella grooming."

Kai and Drew discuss the anonymity and dangers of early internet platforms, sharing personal stories of catfishing and online bullying.

• [35:25] Kai: "I was getting head and had a seizure while driving and crashed the car."

• [35:46] Drew: "People believe that you were getting head so good that it..."

Kai confesses to drinking and driving, revealing a controversial moment from his past that blends humor with vulnerability.

• [36:00] Kai: "I'm just gonna kill myself."

• [36:03] Drew: "It's never the solution."

The hosts navigate through serious themes with their characteristic humor, balancing introspection with levity.

Fandoms and Pop Culture Obsessions

The Evolution of Musical Tastes and Fandoms

Kai and Drew dive into their musical preferences, highlighting their transitions from early pop icons to more mature tastes.

• [40:07] Drew: "I was a Beyonce girl when I was really young. And then I became a Justin Bieber girl..."

• [40:16] Kai: "She's so beautiful. Beautiful."

Kai emphasizes her longstanding admiration for Miley Cyrus and Beyoncé, contrasting it with Drew's One Direction obsession.

• [43:17] Drew: "You had this... can you get a big brain and big boobs?"

• [44:38] Kai: "Drew, shut the up, okay?"

Their discussions reflect on the impact of pop culture on their identities and relationships, with a humorous take on evolving tastes and the pressures of fandom.

Media Consumption and Personal Growth

Albums, Movies, and Personal Media Choices

The hosts share their current media interests, ranging from avant-garde music to complex films, showcasing their diverse tastes.

• [56:05] Kai: "This album that I've been listening to is Music for 18 Musicians by Steve Reich..."

• [58:17] Drew: "My media is waiting. By the Carousel by Robin Guthrie Blue Skied and Clear Slow Dive..."

Kai praises the orchestral depth of Steve Reich's work, while Drew discusses his appreciation for ambient music and true crime series.

Closing Remarks

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on their journey, the evolution of the internet, and their personal growth. They touch upon the changes in their friendships and the loss of close-knit connections.

• [60:15] Kai: "That's the episode. Thank you so much."

• [60:24] Drew: "Until next time."

With a mix of laughter and heartfelt moments, Enya and Drew conclude the episode, inviting listeners to continue engaging with their content.

Notable Quotes

• Kai (00:58): "I got veneers and I'm not used to it yet."

• Drew (05:04): "You just spent $180 to have them sitting here?"

• Drew (14:30): "That's literally why I don't dabble in that stuff also because, like, if I'm being honest, God did make me very perfect."

• Kai (36:01): "This is my last episode. I get called up ugly. I had to rip out my veneers and my beard. I'm so ugly."

• Drew (20:35): "Some of you are really ugly. And that's okay. Because we need the ugly people."

Conclusion

"Drew Got Veneers" offers a blend of raw honesty, comedic storytelling, and reflective conversations among friends navigating personal setbacks and societal pressures. From the pitfalls of cheap veneers to the nostalgia of early internet exploits, the episode encapsulates the chaotic yet endearing dynamics of the Emergency Intercom crew. Listeners are treated to a heartfelt exploration of vanity, friendship, and the enduring quest for self-acceptance, all wrapped in the hosts' trademark humor.