Drew Has Never Felt The Meaning Of True Affection

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Drew Has Never Felt The Meaning Of True Affection
Hosted by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Release Date: October 7, 2022

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1. Introduction

In this episode of Emergency Intercom, hosts Drew Phillips and Kai dive into a variety of personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and thought-provoking discussions. Skipping over the brief advertisements, the conversation swiftly moves into Drew's personal experiences and broader societal topics.

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2. Drew's Medical Issues and LASIK Experience

Drew opens up about a unique and somewhat humorous medical issue concerning his anatomy. He shares:

Drew Phillips [00:57]: "Oh, cool. I have a pee drip on my pants that..."

Kai [01:05]: "It goes to your mid thigh."

The discussion takes a more serious turn as Drew recounts his unexpected experience during LASIK eye surgery:

Drew Phillips [01:36]: "I literally did go blind halfway through my Lasik eye surgery. Like, I'm not joking. And he didn't tell me."

Drew Phillips [02:27]: "It's indescribable. But, like, I could see, like, almost, like, electricity in my eye... I could also smell, like, my eye burning."

Kai and Drew attempt to demystify the LASIK procedure, leading to an engaging exchange about medical practices:

Kai [03:08]: "What is Lasik? Are they basically burning your eye so that it has to reconstruct itself?"

Drew Phillips [03:44]: "I have zero idea what this is supposed to mean..."

---

3. Commentary on Gender and Misogyny

A contentious topic arises when Kai confronts Drew about his derogatory remarks towards women:

Kai [04:49]: "But, like, I am a girl, and I have a wingbot, and let me tell you, things could get done."

Drew Phillips [25:02]: "Is that true that women can't come."

The hosts navigate this sensitive subject with a mix of confrontation and humor, encouraging a reflection on gender dynamics and personal beliefs.

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4. Food and Culinary Mishaps: Erewhon Smoothie, McDonald's Chicken

The conversation shifts to lighter topics as Kai shares a relatable kitchen mishap:

Kai [05:10]: "I left an Erewhon smoothie in my bag and this morning it exploded in my room."

They segue into a debate about fast food authenticity, particularly focusing on McDonald's chicken:

Kai [06:41]: "It tastes like chicken flavored gum. And that's what it tastes like here. And I love it."

Drew Phillips [07:14]: "It melts in your mouth... it's literally all fillers and it turns into like a puddle of, like, fake chicken flavor."

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5. Gym Anecdotes and Meeting Dalton

Drew recounts an amusing incident at the gym involving a case of mistaken identity:

Drew Phillips [10:05]: "And then, like, Dalton had gone into the locker room at the same time, because Dalton was there."

Drew Phillips [10:51]: "Moral of this story is that I'm sexy fucking hot. And I got mistaken for, like, a very sexy person with a sexy body."

The story highlights the humorous side of gym culture and the unexpected connections that can occur in such settings.

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6. Misadventures in Mexico City and COVID Testing

One of the more chaotic segments covers Drew and his friends' trip to Mexico City during the tail end of the COVID-19 pandemic:

Drew Phillips [16:38]: "But then Elisa had her digital code. She got on the plane, which in the moment I was pissed about."

Kai [19:12]: "So here's the crazy thing... waiting for flights. It was so... a nightmare of a trip all around."

The hosts describe a series of miscommunications and logistical nightmares that ultimately led to missed flights and extended airport stays, illustrating the lingering complexities of international travel amidst a pandemic.

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7. Parenting Rules and Discussions

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to debating modern parenting styles and creating rules for raising children:

Kai [24:30]: "So there's this trend going around, and it's like, rules for your daughter... only have sex with cool people."

Drew Phillips [32:42]: "I'm gonna be a hands off parent."

The hosts discuss various approaches to parenting, weighing the benefits and drawbacks of strict versus permissive methods, and reflecting on their own fears and aspirations as future parents.

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8. British Accents and Cultural Observations

A humorous tangent ensues when Drew makes an offhand comment about British people:

Drew Phillips [30:59]: "British people aren't real."

Kai [31:19]: "Oh, because they're like... everyone's got accents, but like, why do they sound like that if it's just English?"

The playful banter explores cultural stereotypes and the quirks of different accents, adding levity to the episode.

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9. Affection and Relationship Dynamics Between Hosts

Drew and Kai delve into the nuances of affection, particularly focusing on hand-holding and the perception of their relationship by outsiders:

Drew Phillips [38:04]: "Have you talked about it?"

Kai [38:13]: "We're just, literally, like siblings."

They discuss the blurred lines between platonic and romantic gestures, and how public perceptions can lead to misconceptions about their relationship status.

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10. Media Reviews: Harry Styles Movie, Lord of the Rings, Death Note

The hosts critique recent media releases, including a parody of a Harry Styles movie and popular TV shows:

Drew Phillips [42:35]: "It was the worst movie I've seen this year, easily."

Kai [44:31]: "The concept of the movie sadly could have been something awesome. It has a 3.1 on Letterbox."

They offer candid opinions on acting performances, plot development, and the overall execution of the films and shows they've consumed.

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11. Music Recommendations

Drew and Kai share their current favorite tracks and albums, providing listeners with a glimpse into their musical tastes:

Drew Phillips [52:28]: "Call Me Mother by RuPaul, Baggy by Tisa Korean and I Don't Want that Many Friends in the First Place by Quinn."

Kai [53:22]: "I've been listening to Certified Lover Boy the past, like, 24 hours."

The segment highlights their diverse preferences and promotes a variety of artists and genres.

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12. Miscellaneous Anecdotes: Chipotle, Steak Preferences

In the closing moments, the hosts touch upon their culinary preferences and the quirks of popular fast-food chains:

Kai [54:36]: "Chipotle... it's crazy because they stain like a bastard."

Drew Phillips [55:46]: "I don't. I'm not making that choice to eat steak. I don't know."

These light-hearted exchanges offer relatable content for listeners who enjoy food-related humor and personal food preferences.

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Conclusion

This episode of Emergency Intercom weaves together a tapestry of personal stories, humorous exchanges, and insightful discussions. From medical mishaps and parenting debates to cultural observations and media critiques, Drew Phillips and Kai provide an engaging and multifaceted conversation that resonates with a wide audience. Notable moments, such as Drew's LASIK ordeal at [01:36] and the chaotic Mexico City trip at [16:38], stand out as key highlights, offering both entertainment and relatable content for listeners.

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Notable Quotes:

• Drew Phillips [01:36]: "I literally did go blind halfway through my Lasik eye surgery."
• Kai [06:41]: "It tastes like chicken flavored gum. And that's what it tastes like here."
• Drew Phillips [10:51]: "Moral of this story is that I'm sexy fucking hot."
• Kai [24:30]: "So there's this trend going around, and it's like, rules for your daughter."
• Kai [38:13]: "We're just, literally, like siblings."

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, ensuring that both regular listeners and newcomers can appreciate the depth and humor of the conversation on Emergency Intercom.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew Phillips]

Welcome back to Emergency Intercom.

[Kai]

Welcome to this.

[Drew Phillips]

Are we recording?

[Kai]

Are we.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, making sure.

[Kai]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, cool. I have a pee drip on my pants that.

[Kai]

There's no way that's actually pee.

[Drew Phillips]

It's just my penis goes down that low that it just, like, drips.

[Kai]

It goes to your mid thigh.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That seems like a medical, like, issue.

[Drew Phillips]

It is. Every time I get an erection, the blood from my brain goes to my.

[Kai]

This is the second time we start an episode talking about your wiener. We did last week.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a huge topic of conversation.

[Kai]

It's a huge deal. It's a huge ordeal. I didn't want to be wearing my glasses. I'm tired of wearing my glasses. I need to get LASIK eye surgery, but I know with my luck, I'd be the first hot girl to go blind via asic.

[Drew Phillips]

I for real, like, when I was.

[Kai]

I've been asic, I've been lasik.

[Drew Phillips]

I for real thought I was gonna go blind. I mean, I literally did go blind halfway through my Lasik eye surgery. Like, I'm not joking. And he didn't tell me. Like, they do, like, they shot. Okay, so this is how it went. They, like, cut the flap of my eye open, and then they, like, peeled it back, and then they fire, like, lasers into your eye. And before the lasers, like, he peeled my flip or my, like, layer back and on one of the eyes, and he was just doing one at one eye at a time. And I, like, completely lost all my vision. And he didn't say anything. Just. And he didn't say anything. And I was like, oh, fuck. Like, I'm blind. Like, I'm literally blind. And I was having, like, a panic attack internally. And I was like, they up. They shot the wrong. Yeah, they gave me, like, like, a form of Xanax.

[Kai]

I mean, even through that, you were able to draw the bravery to beef yourself.

[Drew Phillips]

I was like, oh, my God. Like, I'm blind in my right eye. Like, I can't see anything. I'm over. This is. And then, like, 30 seconds of me panicking, like, being completely blind. He was like, oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you, but, like, you'll literally experience, like, blindness right now. And I was like, oh, thank you. Thank God.

[Jester]

What was that?

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it was up. It was literally terrifying. Like, literally. It's indescribable. But, like, I could see, like. Like, like, almost, like, electricity in my eye. Like, I could see, like, the veins in the back of my eye when the lasers were firing in. I could also smell, like, my eye burning.

[Kai]

Yeah. Because what is Lasik? Are they basically burning your eye so that it has to reconstruct itself?

[Drew Phillips]

I literally have no idea. I think they shoot lasers into your eyes to, like, do something to, like, the cornea or some, like, melt it back or, like, the back of your eyeball, like, your optic nerve. Like, all those little lenses, and they're melting or some Literally making all.

[Kai]

Because I'm a genius. That makes sense to me. It's like. It's like when you have, like, a scar and you go and get scar removal, isn't part of that literally, like, re fracturing the skin so that it can, like, heal over?

[Drew Phillips]

I. I have no idea.

[Jester]

Yeah, I think so.

[Kai]

Yeah. Like, that's something that's done to, like, bodies a lot is, like, literally harming it so that your body can, like, regenerate.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Jester]

I think with, like, acne scars, they shoot it with lasers, and then it promotes collagen production or something.

[Kai]

So that's probably what happens to your eye. And, like, I see that's the thing about me is, like, if the world started over and I was put at the forefront of it, we'd honestly probably still be here.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, maybe, like, set back way more, though.

[Kai]

No, we might be further with less damage to the earth because, like, I would be leading with empathy.

[Jester]

Oh, can you guys imagine where we'd be if Hillary Clinton won in 2016? Like, just how much better every cry.

[Kai]

Are you going to cry because you hate women?

[Drew Phillips]

No, because I love women. What? I've never said I hated women.

[Kai]

No, play the clip.

[Drew Phillips]

I hate women.

[Kai]

Yeah, you've said it a lot.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Kai]

We actually have it on video, like, in Astonishing. You might actually. Wait, we have to call Guinness, because Drew might be the person who has said he hates. Has the most hatred towards women, has claimed his hatred for women the most on the Internet, and you're up against Some pretty prominent figures in that category. The amount in which men publicly get on the Internet to hate women is actually astonishing.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Men, though. I hate men and I don't give a. And it just doesn't. It's not. It doesn't go both ways.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Right, right, right, right. I left an Erewhon smoothie in my bag and this morning it exploded in my room.

[Drew Phillips]

And that's fermented literally overnight. I thought it was a whole food smoothie.

[Kai]

No, no, no, no.

[Drew Phillips]

I didn't know you got a smoothie from.

[Kai]

I got the Macawan.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, did you open it?

[Kai]

No, I just forgot it in my gym bag. And then this morning, I thought Azul was playing with something. I was like, I kept hitting the bed to make her stop. And then, like, I was like, what the fuck is that? And I, like, got up and I. When I finally got out of bed, I heard my bag literally hiss at me and I was like, bitch, did I bring a fucking animal in the house? But it was my Erewhon smoothie actually about to fucking explode and shoot. Huh?

[Drew Phillips]

You shop at Erewhon?

[Kai]

No, I think things like that are just overpriced and, like, honestly, like, played out and, like, very embarrassing. I don't claim.

[Drew Phillips]

We don't claim.

[Kai]

I don't lay claim. I do. And, like, at this point, it is embarrassing and I'm sorry, but, like, I do.

[Drew Phillips]

Their food is yummy.

[Kai]

Their pre made food is just lit.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it's so good.

[Kai]

You can't attack me because I have decision anxiety because of my own internal issues.

[Drew Phillips]

It's just so easy. You just get to go and you get to.

[Kai]

So don't fucking question what I get.

[Drew Phillips]

The same food you get every single time. And you know it's going to taste the same and it's going to be good. And it's also kind of healthy. And it's literally like McDonald's good places. So I'm just like, it's easy, simple, and yummers.

[Kai]

It's literally like McDonald's. Were we talking about it on the podcast that if we found out McDonald's chicken was fake, like, how would you react? Like, if you found out it was, like, not real, I. I would be so happy.

[Drew Phillips]

I wouldn't care. I would be like, oh, good, I'm not killing animals and I'm getting, like, kind of nutrition, like, and I'm getting my microplastics.

[Kai]

Yes. I argue with someone because they were like, I like McDonald's in Europe more because, like, the chicken is real. No, I don't want that. Like, I literally don't want tendons and real fat in my chicken nuggets from McDonald's. I want to eat that shit and.

[Drew Phillips]

It melts in your mouth.

[Kai]

Barbecue sauce and. And French fries in my mouth that it's just waiting for Coca Cola to be drizzled on.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally. I want it to melt in my mouth because it's literally all fillers and it turns into like a puddle of, like, fake chicken flavor.

[Kai]

Yeah. Chewy gum. Like, I want my McDonald's to taste like chicken flavored gum. And that's what it tastes like here. And I love it. Like, everything else is valid. Like the dairy in Europe being, like, lit. True, true, true. The gluten being less or whatever.

[Drew Phillips]

You're gonna respond to my butter tick tock that I sent you. There's this French butter going around that's super going around. It's literally making its rounds. It's making its rounds. And I was like, we need to go get it because it's very rarely sold in America. And there's a shop called French's selling this expensive ass butter.

[Kai]

Sorry, I was choking my flap.

[Drew Phillips]

A bunch of different flavors and.

[Kai]

Okay, see, it lost me because it was like, yuzu, lemon butter.

[Drew Phillips]

Sounds deloittious.

[Kai]

Hell no.

[Drew Phillips]

You ever had shrimp? Yes, Shrimp, butter and lemon.

[Kai]

Oh, no. What you're missing out is yuzu. Like, what? Isn't yuzu like a really sweet fruit?

[Drew Phillips]

No, it's like, like kind of citrusy. It's like a lemon.

[Kai]

I can't, I can't. I don't want sweet butter.

[Drew Phillips]

It's not sweet.

[Kai]

Like, in my head, all of those butter sounded sweet.

[Drew Phillips]

It was like the raspberry one.

[Kai]

Oh, that was the one that really threw me. I'm like, raspberry butter bitch.

[Drew Phillips]

Seaweed butter sounds yummers. See?

[Kai]

Yeah, that sounds lit as fuck. But that's because seaweed is, like, savory. But raspberry butter, bitch. I guess I'm tripping right now because it's like. It's like butter and jam.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

So, like, it. Maybe it's not that deep, but, like, for some reason it sounds so gross. You know what I'm thinking of is, like, last time I really had butter, it's at peak of me having a sore throat and I ate a piece of toast with butter on it and the butter hit the back of my throat and I was like, this human shouldn't be eating this because the way that just hit the back of my throat and the way it felt was not okay. Like, it actually felt like I was doing something genuinely unhealthy to my body, but so then I just covered it in jam and kept going.

[Drew Phillips]

But there you go.

[Kai]

There you go.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, well, um, we went to the gym. Like, I work out. Like, I go to the gym three to four times a week. Like, maybe five times. I'm feeling good. I'm just, like, I work out, I go to the gym. Like, it's. It's just a part of my routine.

[Kai]

Is this the story? Is that the point of what you're saying?

[Drew Phillips]

It's just part of my routine now? Well, at this gym, there was this guy that I felt like he knew who I was because he kept, like, looking at me, like, over and over again.

[Kai]

Like me when I'm big headed.

[Drew Phillips]

And I was like, oh, it's like a six sense. Like, you know what you know, and you know, and I just, like, had a feeling and.

[Kai]

And I know when you don't like me and you're around me and you know who I am from the Internet. And I, I. That's another sense.

[Drew Phillips]

It's like, you can feel it.

[Kai]

I can feel it off of you. And now it's just embarrassing because you don't like me for some weird reason. But I'm next to you.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And I'm about to be so nice that you're gonna feel like a little idiot when you get home.

[Drew Phillips]

So on top of that. So I had this. I had a feeling that this guy knew who I was. And I was like, fuck, dude. I really don't want this person to see me naked in the locker room. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. So I had my little conniption fit, and I waited until he went into the locker room. And ironically enough, Dalton had gone into the locker room at the same time, because Dalton was there.

[Kai]

Dalton is our friend through who is.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally one of the most sexy hot people on this planet. His body is actually built by the Greek gods.

[Jester]

Colton's body goes crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

He's literally gorgeous. And basically what happened was Dalton was in the sauna. And this dude, also, to preface, you.

[Kai]

Have to be butt naked nasty in the sauna.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

So keep that in mind for this story.

[Drew Phillips]

So this dude, who I thought knew who I was, went up to my buddy Dalton, who he didn't know that I. And was like, you're. You host that podcast. Like, you're. You're Drew Phillips, right? And Dalton was like, what? Like, what the. And he was like, oh, like, I just like the hair. And I just saw you working? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is weird. I'm sorry. I meant this weird. And then they moved on with their day. Moral of this story is that I'm sexy fucking hot. And I got mistaken for, like, a very sexy person with a sexy body.

[Jester]

Because maybe we throw a photo up, but I don't want to get demonetized because, like, a photo of that man shirtless.

[Kai]

Oh, I thought you were going to. You meant, like, a photo of him naked. I was like, yeah, you can't put a naked photo of.

[Drew Phillips]

You were saying, let's throw a photo up of Drew's body and get demonetized because it's terrifying.

[Jester]

The podcast over to rumble so we can post naked pictures of Dalton.

[Kai]

What I will say, the moral of that story is, please, if you recognize anybody, not even just us, if you ever recognize anybody in a spa setting where the person is butt naked, nasty, do not go up to them. Because that was my first thought is, like, the intense bravery and like. Like. Like being in a different planet of going up to some. If someone came up to me butt naked and, like, Like, I can feel like I've been in the locker room with, like, girls my age. And, like. Like Drew said, like, sometimes it's just a sixth sense, and I'm like, oh, this person, like, maybe doesn't know me, but, like, they're looking at me in a way that I'm like, they've probably seen me around, like, on the Internet. If one of those people then proceeded to go up to me while I'm in. Also, I'm in the sauna, so I'm, like, dripping sweat naked. SW was like, oh, my God, I love what you do. And my fucking tits are out. We're fighting now. We're gonna have sexy sauna wrestling.

[Drew Phillips]

See, for me, it's not that big of a deal. Like, just come up to me in the locker room.

[Kai]

Yeah. When I said that and got defensive over Drew, Drew was like, I don't care. And I was like, but I do. But I do.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, it doesn't bother me that much. But I. There is part of me that's like, no. Like, people cannot be gossiping about my body on the Internet. Like, absolutely.

[Kai]

I don't know if I would care if anybody saw me naked, because, like, realistically, I'm not. I've never been somebody who, like, even in high school, when you had to, like, change, like, I wasn't, like, going into the bathrooms. I was just like, whatever. Like, I'm going to get Butt naked. But, like, for some reason, breaking that wall of saying it is, like, too far. Like, I don't care if somebody knows me and sees me naked and, like, continues to talk to me, like, casually. But, like, please, while we are both naked, don't break that barrier. Like, once we're fully clothed and we're walking out, like, if you decide to be like, oh, by the way, like, I love the podcast, I'd be like, oh, that's kind of crazy because we just spoke butt naked nasty for, like, 20 minutes. But, like, don't while I'm naked. Be like, oh, also, I see you on the Internet everywhere. I think it's also different for girls because, like, my tits are literally, like, less than a foot away.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I'm covered up in a towel as well.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not ass naked.

[Kai]

Wait, do you get butt naked in the sauna or do you keep a towel on?

[Drew Phillips]

I, like, keep a towel on.

[Kai]

I literally go in there, lay my towel down, and sit with my legs like this. Like, literally, like, in the sauna. And all the other girls, like, I've been noticing because for a long time in the sauna, there was never anybody else. But recently, because we've been going later, there have been people in the sauna, and I'm like, oh, girls are going in, like, fully wrapped up.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And then it's like, me and one other brave soul who's, like, butt naked nasty, like, laying on her back with her legs up on the wall.

[Drew Phillips]

Crazy. Yeah. It's a very different vibe in the men's. I feel like everybody's covered up. But the reason I was like, oh, my God, is this note that I have taken down, and I. I actually have zero idea what this is supposed to mean. And, like, y' all tell me if, like, y' all can, like, understand what I'm getting out here, but I really, really have zero clue what this is. Inya is an Avenger. Avenger. Kaya's a model, and I'm Doja Cat's man. I swear to God, I have that written down. Like, literally. What the fuck does that mean?

[Kai]

Is that a dream you had?

[Jester]

Maybe I am a model, though.

[Kai]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jester]

I don't know if you guys saw that.

[Drew Phillips]

And we actually need to talk about that.

[Jester]

We need to talk about this.

[Drew Phillips]

So I think we've talked about. No, we. I don't think we've ever talked about the nightmare trip. Or have we?

[Jester]

I think we alluded to it, but it was so traumatizing at the time. We were like, no, it was for.

[Drew Phillips]

Real the gnarliest travel experience of my life that it almost made me never want to fly again. We went to, like, Mexico City for a little bit, and, like, it was, like, near the end of COVID Like, we. There weren't many Covid restrictions anymore, and we were, like, aware of that. Like, you didn't need a COVID test to fly in America. You didn't need one, blah, blah, blah, blah, to get into Mexico City. But what we failed to realize is that you needed one to get back into America from Mexico City. But all of us, we were like, oh. Like, we actually don't need a test. Like, Kai asked, like, a gay agent. The gate agent was like, oh, no. Like, you're good. Like, don't.

[Jester]

I think he was straight, actually.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But we.

[Kai]

But don't ever fucking interrupt.

[Drew Phillips]

I got us. I got us to the airport, like, four hours early because I was convinced we needed a test. Like, Elisa was convinced that we needed to test, but this gate agent was like, no, you don't need a test. So then we were like, okay, fine, I guess we don't need a test. And we just kind of loitered around. Like, we got through their version of tsa.

[Jester]

Like, I think we showed up, like, four hours early and fell asleep.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's what I was just saying.

[Jester]

And then they, like, transferred it to another gate, and we, like, went over there, and we were on time and everything was fine.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. And it, like, we just loitered around, like, waited our four hours, and then we went to our gate, and we were. Our. We were sitting at a different gate that we were supposed to be at, but they changed the gate, like, literally last minute. And none of us got a notification. They didn't announce it. We didn't see it until we looked at our phone, and we were like, oh, my God, we're at the wrong gate. And we had, like, five minutes to run across the entire Mexico City airport to get to our gate.

[Kai]

And.

[Drew Phillips]

And we got there on time. We were like, oh, my fucking God. Thank God we made it. Like, I cannot believe we made it. Like, we thought that was the end of it. We were like, dude, like, we made this gate. We were like, literally some of the last people in line to get to this gate. And we pull up and they're asking for Covid tests, and we're like, oh, we're fine. We have, like, we brought our own little COVID test. We took them. Like, they're not digital, but they're like, the. They're analog Covid tests, and we show that to the gate agent, and. And she's like, this doesn't work. Like, y' all can't do this. Like, y' all have to go get a real COVID test that has a digital code. And we're like, what? Like, that doesn't make sense, but whatever. Elisa had her digital code. She got on the plane, which in the moment I was pissed about. I was like, no. Like, this ship is sinking. Come down with us. But then I realized. I was like, actually, you know what? Like, get on that fucking plane, because I would have done the same thing.

[Kai]

Also, she, like, told them. She was like, dude, no, that guy told you the wrong information.

[Drew Phillips]

It.

[Kai]

She was like, I looked this up. You need to have a she.

[Drew Phillips]

She.

[Kai]

She. Literally. That was the funny thing. And when y' all tell this, I just am like, this is so crazy because literally, like, we all looked it up when you, like, we're checking in for your flight. I don't blame Kai, though. I blame all of you, because all of you are, like, kind of crazy for just, like, going in with it and being like, all right, that sounds right. When we all looked it up, I.

[Drew Phillips]

Fought tooth and nail. I argued. I was like, no, we have to get a covet.

[Jester]

I think it was more so my fault.

[Kai]

Three days that we were there for three days. All three days. She wouldn't stop talking, not stop talking about. She was like, I have one with a QR code. I could give you guys my one that, like, doesn't. But you need a QR code because you need a digital. You need a digital. And she. She kept being like, I'm gonna wait till, like, right before we go to the airport because it has to be within this time frame, and you need it digital. And, like, would not. Literally the night before at dinner, it's like, all that was spoken about.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that was such a good dinner. But anyways, delicious. We get to the gate, and she's like, no, you can't. But there's a COVID testing spot in the airport, so we literally.

[Kai]

At drop.

[Jester]

Yeah, you have to go out of security again.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's. I'm not joking. It's like a mile and a half run. And we sprinted all the way there. Me, Jester, and Kai, we get there, we're like, oh, like, we kind of made it. We're, like, making good time. We get our COVID test. This is where Kai's campaign model. This is where that comes in.

[Jester]

They took us into, like, These individual cubicles to do the test. And I didn't see a camera in there, but the woman that gave me the test was, like, she had a mask. She had a shield over the mask. And I think. I'm pretty sure that she had blonde, curly hair.

[Drew Phillips]

No, she. No, there were cameras in Jester's room. Oh, they were taking pictures of Jester, too. Yeah, that's what Jester was saying.

[Jester]

Oh, I didn't even know that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. So, like, it's legitimately you, but this is the photo they.

[Jester]

I got dm, I think. Yesterday I woke up to a dm and it was like, oh, cool. I didn't know you modeled. And it's a. It's a photo of me with, like, big campaign. Yeah, it's a photo of me with a thing, like, shoved up my nose. And it's like, I was like, a lot of white guys look like me, but I do think that's me.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, yeah, no, it's 100% Kai. And it's, like, in one of those little rooms, like, it was. It's 100%. Like, without fail. When we were in, like, the biggest rush of our life getting our COVID test. But anyways, we got our COVID test, sprinted all the way back, and we were. We still made the line. Like, there were people walking onto the airplane in front of us, and, like, we were like, oh, thank God. Like, we made it. Like, I cannot believe we made it. We were kind of, like, celebrating, but we were also like, let's get on the plane before we celebrate. And we're literally, like, the last people to pull up. And we were like, oh, we got our test. Like, look. And, like, we're waiting in line, refreshing. Because the tests take, like, 10 minutes to, like, like, show up a negative or a positive. We didn't know if we were negative or positive. We show up. We, like, are refreshing in line. We're like, please, please, please, like. And then.

[Kai]

Did you not get your test results in time to, like, get on?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, we got to the front, and we were like, oh, we took our test. It's waiting. Like, we promise, like, it'll be, like, one more minute, two more minutes.

[Jester]

We can see people, like, walking onto the plane. Like, you can still see people, like, yeah, going down the tunnel.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, exactly. And then, like, she's like, no, I can't do that. And then right as we're saying, like, we're refreshing. We're, like, showing, and we're like, look like they're negative. Like, we're negative. Like, Let us on, Please, please, please. And she's just like, no, like, you're not getting on this fucking plane. Like, you're literally not. And we're like, dude, there's people walking on right now. So we didn't get on the fucking plane because we didn't get our COVID test. And it's a way longer nightmare of a story. Like, it keeps going and going and more bad keeps happening. Like, everything that you can think goes wrong. Like, it literally all.

[Kai]

That's just not true because I would be like, oh, my God, did the plane crash?

[Drew Phillips]

No, we were fully expecting it to.

[Jester]

We were actually ready for it to go.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. But, like, I don't think we're.

[Jester]

We were in that airport for another eight hours.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Waiting for flights. Like, it was so.

[Kai]

And meanwhile, me, I was still in Mexico City having the time of life. Met up with a few friends who came into the city.

[Drew Phillips]

Beautiful.

[Kai]

It was a bunch of Miami friends, too. I was like.

[Drew Phillips]

It was a beautiful moment, I don't think.

[Kai]

And then I was left with everybody who spoke Spanish. So we were like. It was a dream for me. Dream. I will say. The workers in the airport, first of all, youngest workers in an airport ever, because they were all around my age. I got wrong directions for the first. Thank God I got there early, too, because I got sent to, like, five different spots in that airport before I even got through my gate.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it was just a nightmare of a trip all around. It was beautiful and amazing, but, like, it was just crazy. Crazy boots. Crazy, crazy boots.

[Kai]

I have hot takes about people who are, like, obsessed with Mexico City, but this isn't. This isn't the space for it.

[Drew Phillips]

What do you mean?

[Kai]

I'm just saying, when I went to Mexico City, I was like, this is gorgeous. I love this. But it. Part of it that, like, I love is because it feels very familiar because my family is from Central America, so I'm just feeling very, like, oh, I know this vibe. And then I think there are a lot of people who go there who are like, this place is insane. What's happening? It's so cheap. And I'm like, oh, did you write down your rules for your daughter?

[Drew Phillips]

That's what I was just about to ask you and bring up. I literally still don't know if I did this right, like, at all. I don't know at all.

[Kai]

So there's this trend going around, and it's like, rules for your daughter. I didn't screenshot it. I just wrote, like, three rules of things that kind of Sounded right for me. So it's like, basically, you're supposed to be like, okay, so are you gonna give your daughter a curfew?

[Drew Phillips]

Like, are you gonna find an example and we'll put it on? We don't have to find it now.

[Kai]

But, like, maybe I show it to you, though, so that you, like, fully understand. Fully understand. Hey. Oh, my God, my watch history. I turned it on, like, two days ago. And how is it? Like, this intense. Like, I watched. This is all from, like, today.

[Drew Phillips]

You know what I find crazy?

[Kai]

What?

[Drew Phillips]

Is that women can't come. Like, they can't have orgasms.

[Kai]

Stop it. Because that's not true. Why? Do you actually think that? Or are you just saying, I'll believe.

[Jester]

It when I see it, you know?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, literally, like, I'm just trying to, like, I'm just trying to, like, figure out.

[Kai]

Like, I'm trying to figure out if you're joking, because there's actually no way that you think women are incapable of having an orgasm.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, every woman I've been with has just not.

[Kai]

Have you ever thought, like, that's more of, like, something you've done, like, a problem, like, you're, like, making or.

[Drew Phillips]

No, because I.

[Jester]

But also, like, I haven't. I have never seen that happen.

[Kai]

I mean, that makes a lot of sense.

[Drew Phillips]

What do you mean? There's two men in the room telling you that women can't come, and you're just.

[Kai]

But I am a girl, and I have a wingbot, and let me tell you, things could get done.

[Drew Phillips]

I can turn things get done in.

[Kai]

A very short amount.

[Drew Phillips]

I can turn up.

[Jester]

I think there is a Mythbusters episode about women coming, and they. They've busted. Really busted it. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Damn.

[Kai]

What?

[Jester]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Why'd you say that?

[Drew Phillips]

You want to apologize in for saying women can come?

[Kai]

What?

[Jester]

Yeah. Honestly, an apology to all men.

[Drew Phillips]

We just said the C word 10 times.

[Kai]

This sucks because it's just, like, the most. Like, this. I want to do it, too. This is going to be rules for my daughter. Not that this girl's tik tok sucks, but, like, I mean, 200 likes. I don't know how. How good it's going to be, but this is basically it. Like, obviously, I actually don't want to play this because one of the things is sex and sexuality, and I don't want to hear this random, but it's, like, rules for my daughter. Like, your idea on curfew, drinking, smoking, like, cursing. Like, are you going to allow your daughter to curse, like, all this? So here are some of mine rules for my daughter only have sex with cool people. But you have to have a lot of it, or I will not be letting you come home.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Yeah, this.

[Kai]

This kind of. Yeah, this kind of starts at age, like, honestly 15. And if by 15, you're not, like, boning, like, there's a problem. My daughter's getting her ass kicked. I feel like I have to clarify that that's a joke. Like, I hate that I have to clarify that somebody was like, that's like, the thing that it makes all these so interesting is because you're literally talking about, like, what you're gonna allow your, like, child to do. And everybody when they're talking about, like, obviously my kids are gonna have sex. Like, I'll, like, if they, like, have sex by age 13, like, blah, blah. And like, they go on these talks about, like, how they're gonna deal with it, and I'm like, that is terrifying.

[Drew Phillips]

To even think about it. I guess you do have to think about.

[Kai]

Yeah, you do have to, like, contemplate because, like, it's not. It's not like, the most common, but it's, like, not super uncommon. Okay. Curfew. You can only use your window, and your room will be on the top floor. So, like, basically, for me, like, I don't care what time you come home. I don't care who you come home with. Like, that's actually not my fucking business. I'm going to take parenting. Like, I'm your friends. Like, I'm your best friend.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you can drink.

[Kai]

Yeah, like, you can drink.

[Drew Phillips]

Make you mix drinks.

[Kai]

I'll teach you how to make a really good cocktail so you don't have to spend $15 on a really expensive cocktail. Sleepovers. Go to as many sleepovers as possible so me and your dad can have lots of sex.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Kai]

I just don't want my kids to be home ever. Like, I, like, do you feel.

[Drew Phillips]

Why do I relate to that? Yeah, like, I mean, ever since we had our kid taken, my life has gotten exponentially.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because, like, I know people are like, well, kids don't stop you from, like, having a fun life. They just add to that fun. But I couldn't feel like it was more opposite. Like, I literally felt like I used to have the most fun ever. And then when I had a kid and I had to, like, change its.

[Drew Phillips]

Diaper and stuff, I lost, like, all respect for myself and, like, I didn't keep up. It was. It was so bad.

[Kai]

Yeah, I lost a huge part of me. And I was just like, also like, once our daughter hit 15 and then she had friends and I saw that she was cool. I was like, honestly, I don't want anything to do with you because I wasn't that cool when I was a kid. So now I fucking hate you and I actually hope you get kidnapped.

[Drew Phillips]

I hate that our fake jokes are literally the same. No curfew because my daughter isn't out and lit. I don't want it. She will be a party girl and I'm gonna be serving the alcohol. That's all, literally all I wrote down.

[Kai]

It's crazy how there are parents who are literally like, bring everyone over and we can drink at my house. I'm like, those are.

[Drew Phillips]

There were several par parents, like, yeah, Texas, like serving me mixed drinks like growing up. And I'm not gonna lie, it was lit, like, it was so fun. And like, also we would like be like 17, 18 maybe partying with like these grown ass people. And like, it's kind of cute letting them like relive their like, glory days. But also they are serving children drinks. Yeah. So it's also a little weird.

[Kai]

I feel like so many households, like, have that idea. But like, dude, what's crazy and scary is like one, like watching everybody's like, takes on parenting when, like, we're all like in our early 20s and so much of that is subject to change. And I was like going down a rabbit hole of like watching them and looking at the comments. And like, this girl had one where she was like, she let her daughter do everything, but she would. She was like, the one thing I don't want is like my daughter to ever sleep over at someone else's house. And people were like, I agree with you on everything, but like the sleepover thing, like, some of my favorite memories are when I got to sleep over at my friend's house. But what's so crazy is like growing up as a daughter, like, that's such a thing. Like, is literally like, well, you can't go to so and so's house because, like, I don't know their parents and I don't know their dad and like that kind of like, rhetoric, which is so insane to think growing up. Like, the whole rhetoric and idea of like, well, like, you're literally drilled from like age 8 to be like, men are dangerous and if I'm not around you while you're around another man, I don't trust it. And like, that's so crazy. And then like, yeah, that, that's a whole Other topic, but just like put, put pants on, like, huh.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, British people aren't real.

[Kai]

Oh, what makes you say that?

[Drew Phillips]

I just know it.

[Kai]

Are those technically your ancestors.

[Drew Phillips]

British people? No, we just formed. White people just formed one day.

[Kai]

Oh, damn.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, damn, damn.

[Kai]

Are you gonna elaborate on you saying British people aren't real or like, was that it? Are you saying that because of the tick tock I played you the way it sounded this morning?

[Drew Phillips]

I just like, where that thought came from is I was like, oh, like, I guess it's not that weird to serve an 18 year old a drink because like in England, like London, whatever that place is called, like their parents are literally. Yeah, the uk, Their parents are literally allowed to like give them drinks and they like drink at the dinner table with their parents. Like, if you're 15 and your parents are like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna order a glass of wine for my 15 year old child. Like, the restaurants are like legally obliged to. And so I'm just like, is it really that weird? I mean, like, I don't, I don't know that.

[Kai]

Like, I don't know that it's that weird because I guess like to a certain extent in my head I'm like, oh, I guess maybe that's like teaching some sort of self control. But I feel like that's like the battle you face when you're a parent is like, once you get there, having to like go back and forth with the idea of like, okay, well, like, do I basically enable the possibility of my kid taking it too far or do I just get hands off with it and pray that they're able to make like, good decisions, decisions for themselves?

[Drew Phillips]

I'm gonna be a hands off parent.

[Kai]

Hands off.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm gonna.

[Kai]

There's like three words for. It's like literally like authoritarian, like diplomatic or something, and then like something else. Like, there's like literally like three ways to like there's three different forms of like parenthood, and then one's like super like, do whatever you want. One, super strict.

[Drew Phillips]

And then one's like, I'm gonna give them the option to do whatever they want, but explain the consequences to every option.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Be like, you can make this choice, you have free will, but these are the consequences that come with it.

[Kai]

I have a fear that I'm going to be like a really anxiety driven, obnoxious mother who like, my kids will.

[Drew Phillips]

The way you are with Azul. Like, yeah, it's, it's gonna happen. Yeah, you're not gonna let them. You're gonna Trap them inside.

[Kai]

I mean, even with my siblings, Like, I get told this all the time by, like, friends and people who've watched me interact with my siblings on, like, long term basis. Like, I am really obnoxious and I think, like, I overcompensate for, like, the way maybe I wanted to be, like, handled as a child. Or how I think I wanted to be handled. Can you do that?

[Jester]

I think it's fine.

[Kai]

Or how I, like, thought the camera's not recording. You're so annoying. How I thought I wanted to be handled. So, like, literally I'll be sitting with my 13 and 11 year old sibling and, like, they're silent. I'm like, are you okay? Like, are you okay? Like, what are you thinking? Like, do you. Are you comfortable here? Like, is this wrong? Like, whatever. And then like, literally, because I have such a big age gap with them, sometimes I take on, like, more of like a parental role than I need. I've definitely seen that where, like, I feel it's so normal for siblings to fucking argue and, like, get into fights and arguments. But if my little siblings are annoying the fuck out of me and I yell at them, I immediately get into like, oh, my God, like, I feel so bad. Like, that was, like, I just yelled at them in public. Like, that must be so traumatizing and embarrassment. Embarrassing. And now they're like, having this grudge against me because I, like, overstepped them and they feel dehumanized and disrespected. And literally I'm sitting here like, spiraling in a park being like, hey, like, I'm so sorry for raising my voice at you. That was like, so, like, incorrect of me. Like, I just, like, I felt really, like, frustrated with the way you were acting with me. And I'm like, sitting here, like, over analyzing an emotional interaction I had with like a 13 year old who couldn't give a fuck and is like, leave me the fuck alone. Like, move away from me until I figure it out on my own. But I'm sitting here being like, no. Like, what about it hurt your feelings? Like, please let me know. Like, I would love to know. Like, it's good for you to communicate. And my siblings are like, bitch, I have an iPhone.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't need to communicate. Yeah, like, I'm fine. I'm gonna just lose myself.

[Jester]

And yeah, for what it's worth, I think you're really good with Drew. He's like, no. How old are you now, Drew?

[Drew Phillips]

12?

[Kai]

No, no. Drew is 24 years old, almost 25. Like, I don't know.

[Jester]

I feel like he's. You've said that you were. I thought he said 16 before, but I guess he's 12.

[Kai]

Oh, is it happening that fast? Remember, we spoke about this? You have, like, Benjamin Button's disease.

[Jester]

Oh, right.

[Kai]

Oh, I'm really sorry.

[Jester]

But, yeah, you're really good with it.

[Kai]

Do you get weaker as you get younger?

[Drew Phillips]

Mama, I need baba.

[Kai]

Yeah. I am gonna be a really annoying mom.

[Jester]

Did the. Did the woman in Benjamin Button smash?

[Drew Phillips]

I. I've never seen that movie.

[Kai]

I've only seen grabs, but you're disgusting for even answer.

[Jester]

I'm literally just wondering if that was written.

[Kai]

You know, they had to get sex in there. Like, what? Why would someone make a movie with no sex in it?

[Drew Phillips]

That's what I'm talking about. That's literally what I'm talking.

[Kai]

A movie with no sex.

[Drew Phillips]

Where's the booze? And the media loses value. We need boobs.

[Kai]

How do you even make. How does the plot go? Like, okay, let's see. Okay, let's take the plot of a movie, but you take off the man. Okay, so girl is, like, living at the end. Like, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Where do the boobs come in?

[Jester]

Where do the boobs come in?

[Kai]

Girl is living. So sees man. She likes man. And her fall in love, have baby the end. But I just don't. Like, how are you supposed to get to the end if, like, the man.

[Jester]

Movies about other things besides sex.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, what?

[Kai]

Oh, yeah. Like, you can't name one.

[Jester]

Paris is Burning. You know, that's the first one. What is that for me?

[Kai]

That's at the top of your catalog.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Jester]

Period.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Why?

[Kai]

Period. Wait, what's the joke? We were. Oh, yesterday, me and Drew been, like, talking to each other in the house. Like, I'll be like, no, we haven't.

[Drew Phillips]

We haven't been talking.

[Kai]

Shut the up. I'm like, babe, it's time to go to the gym. Wait, what were you saying? Yes. You're like, okay, let's go serve.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I literally have no idea what you're referencing. Half the shit I say don't even know.

[Kai]

Last night, when I was talking to Drew about us going to the gym, I was like, babe. Like, babe, it's time to go to the gym. And you're like, okay, purr, babe.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Kai]

And I was like. I was like, babe, why do you talk like that? You talk like a bunch of my. Like. Like my gay friends. Like, it's so funny how that just rubbed off on you. Like, it rubbed off on you.

[Drew Phillips]

Purr. Sis, let's go to the gym, sis.

[Kai]

And I just love thinking about, like a hella, like, diluted couple where the girl just like, cannot see.

[Drew Phillips]

See the red flags. Remember when we were walking from the store holding hands and I was like, really? Like, I. I don't understand hand holding. Like, I get that it feels.

[Kai]

It was really sad.

[Drew Phillips]

I was like, what are we talking about for people? But, like, literally, why, like, what is that?

[Kai]

I mean, trying to explain to Drew what like, a sweet. Like, like a hand holding, like, between a couple is.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Like, this is how you hug your partner.

[Kai]

No, I was like, no. I was like, okay. Because we were holding hands walking down the sidewalk and he was like, what about this is like, romantic? Or like, like people.

[Drew Phillips]

Why do people do it?

[Kai]

To feel good. And I was like, I literally was stunned by that question because what a fucking weird ass question I was being dancing. Like, I was like, I don't know, like, it's just like a means of affection. And then me trying to show him, like, how, like, if you're holding hands with someone you're like, seeing you'll like, rub your finger.

[Drew Phillips]

It was all a ploy to get you to hold my hand again.

[Jester]

And I've seen a lot of up on this podcast, but that is the saddest moment I've ever experienced.

[Kai]

And me trying to explain to him, I was like, oh, you know, because, like, walking like, like this is harder. And like, whatever. He's like, okay. He's like, I guess it like, feels like, natural, but, like, I just don't understand.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it feels like the hands were designed to be held.

[Kai]

Like we are not, like, in love. So, like, of course it's not going to feel like this like, grand, like, gesture from me because, like, we're literally walking down the street being like, do you think.

[Drew Phillips]

Do you see us?

[Kai]

Do you think we're dating?

[Drew Phillips]

Like, when you hold like a partner's hand, like, do you feel like electricity?

[Kai]

Not electricity. Like, it's not like.

[Drew Phillips]

Or like, you know what I mean?

[Kai]

Like, sparks love to like. Like it feels. It's like an affirmation thing. It's like if I'm just walking, this person, like, wants my, like, physical affection so bad that they're. They're like they're feeding for it even within, like, a handhold.

[Drew Phillips]

Like I'm genuine. Like, I don't know if I could ever feel that.

[Jester]

It's like a Google engineer telling the.

[Drew Phillips]

Neural net, like, what love and like, machine learning. Like, I don't know. It just doesn't make sense. But when I'm doing s and I get my hands held, I'm like, this feels good. Well.

[Kai]

I know. And I'm trying to, like, imagine, like, in what ways your hands would be held passionately. Yeah, I know. And I know in what ways, but that's also different. Like. Like, that's a really.

[Drew Phillips]

How is that different?

[Kai]

Sex is because I'm thinking of a hand like this.

[Drew Phillips]

That's a really different thing. I know you thing. I'm just with you.

[Kai]

Well, one day you'll feel it. For now, we'll just keep holding hands and hope people take a picture.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. We were walking and we were holding hands, and I was like, I'm praying, praying someone takes a picture of us so it can be spread as misinformation online.

[Kai]

Because we were like. I was like, what's crazy is when we hold hands and, like, walk around together, people think we are a couple. And, like, we've gone on this, like, tangent before, but, like, me and Drew have multiple times been like, why don't more people come out up to us while we're out and, like, flirt with us? And it's literally because people see us and think we're a couple, and if.

[Drew Phillips]

They know us from the Internet, they know we're a couple.

[Kai]

Yeah. And I was just like, we were holding hands, walking on the sidewalk. I was like, to everybody in the cars passing, we just look like a couple who are leaving a store together. Like, no one else knows that. Like, we are, like, so far from, like, ever dating. Like, and we're just like, literally like siblings.

[Jester]

Like, I know that there's someone out there who's like, a fan of the podcast that has a wall dedicated with.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, strings, trying to figure out the.

[Jester]

Picture, the sexuality and, like, what relationships are real.

[Drew Phillips]

And the picture, that's also what me.

[Kai]

And Drew were talking about. We were like, one of these freaks Watching is dead set on the idea that me and Drew fucked. There are like a handful of people who are like, there's no way. What the was that?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know.

[Jester]

He just looked at me funny. Sorry. Have you guys actually not.

[Drew Phillips]

I've definitely tapped that.

[Kai]

He said, I definitely tapped that. Well, I wouldn't touch you with a 10 yard stick. Are you actually about to cry? Harry St. And don't worry, darling. Stop. No, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. No. All my long hairs movie was so insane. I'm Harry style. Have you talked about it?

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Kai]

I'm sorry, but I laughed. I could not stop laughing. It was I watched it High as Bones, and it was the best thing ever.

[Drew Phillips]

It was the worst movie I've seen this year, easily.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And I think I, like, went into it with an open mind and open heart, and I was like, like, oh, I'm gonna give this a chance. I'm really gonna give this a chance. And then it just never happened. And, like, it just felt like, be weird for weird's sake. Yeah, I will say Harry Styles, like, kind of did good with what he was given.

[Kai]

Yeah, he's not a bad actor at all once you get past the fact that, like, it was hard as somebody who's seen him in media for, like, 12 years now to kind of get over the hump of, like, that's literally Harry Styles. Like, that is Harry Styles. Like, are you kidding me? So it was, like, kind of hard to get past.

[Drew Phillips]

You're not fooling anybody. We know that's here.

[Kai]

Also, like, I love them having to, like, figure out a way to make it make sense.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no.

[Kai]

Them having to make it make sense that he had a British accent, that was honestly my favorite part of the movie. Spoiler alert. If you haven't seen the movie, close your ears for, like, three seconds. But basically, when he.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, wait, wait. Okay, what I was gonna say. Never mind. Just keep going.

[Kai]

When he's going into the thing or whatever, it's like you. You pick the attributes you want. And they had him. His character. Pick being British.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Which is so funny because then when you hear his American accent, it's just really funny because it's like, this is funny.

[Drew Phillips]

Something is not sitting right.

[Kai]

But, yeah, the concept, like, the, like, concept of the movie sadly could have been something awesome. It is, like, an interesting idea, but the movie itself, yeah, the movie, it was just so funny. And I love Florence, so it was really sad in that regard. I was like, oh, poor girl.

[Drew Phillips]

It was just literally like, let's be. Be, like, as weird as possible and do all these weird tropes and, like, just be strange and, like, just so many things just, like, didn't connect. Like, I know. Like, there were several things in that movie that, like, she thought, like, was gonna look good on screen. And then they recorded it, and she was like, fuck, dude. It didn't look good. It didn't. It just didn't come out in the edit, and they were, like, praying they could, like, edit it together and make it something good. But, like, I don't know. It, like, it was gorgeous. So I gave it one and a half stars. But, like. And, like, the idea. The idea is so good. Like, the idea of that movie.

[Kai]

Yeah, the idea. That's what I'm saying. The idea is, like, a really interesting thing that, like, I wish someone else wrote a screenplay for it, that idea, because, like, yeah, it's pretty crazy. It's crazy, though, because it has a 3.1 on letterbox.

[Drew Phillips]

Greta Thunberg just, like, did not really direct. Really good. She's not, like, a good director. Like, I get she's Thunder. I get she's, like, a climate activist, but, like, I think she should stick to climate activism and then leave the movies to, like, the other people who, like, that's their passion.

[Kai]

Greta Thunberg didn't make that.

[Drew Phillips]

Really? No, she literally. She was credited.

[Kai]

Wait, what was the joke you said to Josh? You were like, you know what would have made that movie?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh. Oh, like, okay, so this movie would have been, like, if. If it came out, like, in a week, that, like, this movie was an AI generated script and, like, it was just, like, created solely by computers based off of, like, information on the Internet.

[Kai]

Based off other movies it had watched.

[Drew Phillips]

Then that would have legitimately been a masterpiece. And I would have been like, oh, my fucking God, this is crazy, because it felt so robotic, but, like, if a robot was able to write that script and it be that decent, like, I would have been amazed. But, like, it wasn't written by robot. It was not.

[Kai]

It was indeed written and made by humans.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah, just cough at my words every. Like, you're always just coughing at me. You're going to cough at me.

[Kai]

I'm not coughing at you. I literally have just been sick.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you're not going to cough at me. You're not coughing at you.

[Kai]

I'm so confused why you keep saying.

[Drew Phillips]

That to me just ever. Whatever.

[Kai]

Are you trying to fight me over having a cough right now?

[Drew Phillips]

I'm done. I'm dying. I'm dying. Greta.

[Jester]

Greta Thunberg didn't make that movie, Drew.

[Kai]

I already said that.

[Jester]

I know, but I just want to reiterate that, because I think a man.

[Kai]

Saying it changes the. The way.

[Drew Phillips]

No, not at all. Seriously, guys.

[Jester]

Greta Thunberg made Ladybird, though.

[Kai]

What?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, Yeah, I just googled Greta Thunberg, and she comes up on Google. No, that doesn't mean, like, she's obviously.

[Kai]

No, she. Because she's like a. Like, an identifiable, like, pub, like, public figure. Like, right.

[Jester]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That doesn't mean she made a movie.

[Drew Phillips]

But she has a list of famous quotes. I shouldn't be up here. I shouldn't be up here. Our house is on fire.

[Kai]

I was gonna say.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, did you know Greta Thunberg is actually Bjork, but from the past.

[Kai]

Wait, do y' all know that by the time this comes out. Oh, I have been in Paris for.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, the past week, achieving her dreams and doing everything she's been wanting to do. It's finally coming to fruition.

[Kai]

So y' all go out there and you make your edits.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

You go out there and you make your compilation.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally. I'm so stoked for you. Like, literally. So proud of you. Thank you. It's, like, awesome to see you achieve your dreams.

[Kai]

Thank you. Why am I, like, so terrified of the people who, like, are die Hard for Harry, who are gonna, like, actually, like, come for my blood?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no, we only had nothing but nice things to say to Harry. Pot as fucking.

[Kai]

It's so up. That is an attractive. That I will say. But let's keep that under wraps, because when I meet him, I am going to act like I don't know who he is.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, you're Harold. Harold Stiles. Harold Style.

[Kai]

Is that your real last name?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, Style Icon.

[Kai]

Is that accent of yours real?

[Drew Phillips]

Henry?

[Kai]

Where are you from? I'm gonna say, where are you from?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I see. I could. I thought that was, like, an American accent. I couldn't tell.

[Kai]

I can't really tell. I do a lot of traveling, so I get. I get the.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know. I just don't know where I am.

[Kai]

I almost literally went. Why do British people sound like that? Like, like, obviously everybody has accents, but, like, why do they sound like that if it's just English? Like, I don't understand.

[Drew Phillips]

And it's also, like, this is America. Like, speak English.

[Kai]

No, Drew, they don't live here. We just see it on our iPhone. But they don't, like, live here.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, so now you're telling me the Internet reaches the globe? Like, what? Like, no, it's obviously just from la. Like, what?

[Kai]

Wait, do you actually think that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Kai]

No. The Internet. So the Internet, like, anybody from all over the world can use it and get in contact with you.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, that may be the funniest thing you've ever said. You've ever said to me, I should have ate my granola and yogurt before this. I'm crashing like crazy.

[Kai]

I wonder if to, like, people from the uk, our accents sound as crazy as theirs do, but there's actually no way.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't think so.

[Kai]

There is literally no way.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, my name's Harry Styles, that's.

[Kai]

Not how he sounds.

[Drew Phillips]

My name's Harry Styles.

[Kai]

Is it true that motherfucker's gonna be in Marvel movies? Like, what universe are we living in?

[Drew Phillips]

The mcu, baby. The fucking witches are upstairs brewing their potions. My name is Harry Styles.

[Kai]

He's literally gonna be in. He's gonna be in Marvel movies.

[Drew Phillips]

One day you're gonna have to replace me with a dead body.

[Kai]

No, one day, I'm just gonna replace you with a real other functioning human bitch. And it's gonna be soon. Oh, well, should we tap into some media?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah. I want to read this note. And, yeah, you're beautiful, and I love you just the way you are.

[Kai]

I didn't ask you to say any of that.

[Drew Phillips]

And you don't have to change yourself for me.

[Kai]

I'm gonna take your skin, cut some of it off, dehydrate it, and then apply adhesive to the back of it and use your skin as nipple pasties.

[Drew Phillips]

I love the way you make words. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

What are you. Are you listening to what I just said?

[Drew Phillips]

You're gonna make me a skin suit?

[Kai]

No, I'm just gonna use you as my nipple paste.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out.

[Kai]

I'm freaking out.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm freaking out.

[Kai]

My media of the week is. Don't worry, darling. Yeah, you gotta go watch that.

[Drew Phillips]

Unironically, though.

[Kai]

You should watch it, because it was, like, it was a blast to watch with Josh. I felt bad because Drew was trying to, like, really get into it, but I went into it knowing that, like, I wasn't gonna really like it because I had seen people talk about it. So I was like, I know this is just gonna be funny. So I got high before I watched it, and I literally, like, I had a blast. Like, I felt like I was being sent into space. I felt like I, like, had cameras on me or something, and, like, people were, like, trying to catch me in the actual.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I felt that, but the opposite. I was like, they're seeing us laugh. Like, we were laughing out loud at, like, the worst parts. Like, you weren't supposed to be laughing. You were supposed to be, like, on the edge of your seat. And, like, we were just, like, dying laughing. I was like, someone in here is gonna be like, fuck these people.

[Kai]

They said eight words in that movie. They were taking three words the whole time.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally, though, were we.

[Kai]

Don't, darling. I'm gonna make my Rebuttal. It's like, worry not, darling.

[Drew Phillips]

Worry not.

[Kai]

It's me saving them.

[Drew Phillips]

But we not okay. I'm gonna say for my music, Call Me Mother by RuPaul, Baggy by Tisa Korean and I Don't Want that Many Friends in the First Place by Quinn. I don't really want that many. I don't want that many things.

[Jester]

Classic song.

[Drew Phillips]

Classic, Classic, classic. And I've been watching Lord of the Rings show. Definitely underwhelming, but not like the worst thing I've ever seen. But like, I can't stop watching it. So watch that. I've been watching still Game of Thrones. I. I'm re watching Death Note. I'm on like, episode four of Death Note and that is just really, like, actually a masterpiece. Like, I love that anime so much. It's so fun, funny lit, just awesome.

[Kai]

I've been listening to Certified Lover Boy the past, like, 24 hours.

[Drew Phillips]

You have actually. Yeah, I noticed that in the car.

[Kai]

The second I dropped you off. I blasted that album. So crazy because I was like, this album?

[Drew Phillips]

You. Yeah, you were playing Unsexy and I know it. Or what's that one? Oh, I'm Too Sexy for Me.

[Kai]

I hate that one.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I heard it playing. Yeah, I heard it playing and I was like, curious. I was like, damn.

[Kai]

Oh, just now?

[Drew Phillips]

No, like, in the car. In the car.

[Kai]

I just let it go because I was like, just want to listen to this album. I'm sweating like a bastard. But I hate that song. Tsu is so good. Has anybody heard that song?

[Jester]

That song's good.

[Kai]

You've. You haven't heard that song.

[Jester]

I've heard Tsu.

[Kai]

Okay. Yeah, you might be thinking of the actual. Huh?

[Jester]

Doesn't he say that it's going down for real?

[Kai]

No, there's no way. I don't think you're.

[Drew Phillips]

I think you're the only person.

[Kai]

Yeah. Like, would have heard it because you have to be, like, really musically intelligent to be on the level I am of, like, listening to music I listen to.

[Jester]

Maybe you're underestimating my musical intelligence because I have heard that song and I pop my to it whenever I hear.

[Kai]

You know what's funny is, like, if I were you, I would lie too, because it'd be really embarrassing that you don't know that song. But we can move on because, like, now I just feel bad.

[Drew Phillips]

I know the song.

[Kai]

I know you better than you know.

[Drew Phillips]

Yourself, and I know you don't know that song.

[Kai]

I know you know the one song, but. Yeah, that's Literally it for my media. Thank you guys so much for watching Loves.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm kind of losing my mind. I didn't eat before I had a.

[Kai]

Bite of an old burrito from Chipotle. They put. We're going to find out in a few years that they put an essential oil for red onion. Everything they make because it stay like.

[Drew Phillips]

Like the concentration, like the concentrate of an onion.

[Kai]

Yeah. Like they literally like juice, juice red onions and drizzle it in everything. It's crazy because it stains like a bastard.

[Drew Phillips]

It's crazy.

[Kai]

You can't have chipotle like after 8pm because you will go to sleep stinking.

[Drew Phillips]

You know, yesterday when I had my Chipotle bowl, that was the first time I had like steak from like a place like Chipotle in a very long time. And the steak did not taste like animal.

[Kai]

Who doesn't really like steak?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't. I don't. I can eat it if it's put in front of me and I will eat it. But, like, I'm not making that choice to eat steak. I don't know.

[Kai]

I just.

[Drew Phillips]

It's just not for me.

[Kai]

I used to be like red meat, but then I had like a really good steak at a restaurant recently and I was like, oh.

[Drew Phillips]

You just had really good steak one time.

[Kai]

What did you say?

[Drew Phillips]

Fine. I said my penis. All right. Actually.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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