Drew Hates Enya

Summary

Emergency Intercom Episode Summary: "Drew Hates Enya"

Release Date: July 22, 2022
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast: Emergency Intercom by iHeartPodcasts

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1. Introduction and Setting the Tone

The episode kicks off with Enya and Drew diving straight into their dynamic interplay, setting a humorous yet confrontational tone. Drew opens with a statement, "Sometimes the man has to take control" ([01:20]), which Enya counters playfully, highlighting their on-air chemistry.

2. Ageism and Interactions with Elderly Passengers

A significant portion of the episode centers around the hosts' frustrations with elderly individuals, particularly during air travel.

• Enya's Flight Experience:
  Enya recounts a troubling encounter on a flight where an elderly woman disregarded their seat-switching efforts, leaving Enya feeling disrespected and fueling her negative perceptions of older adults. She states, "That old fucking cunt was a bitch to me at Starbucks" ([07:28]).

• Drew's Perspective on Technology Dependence:
  Drew humorously laments his own dependence on his iPhone, contrasting it with the elderly passengers' apparent disinterest in modern technology. He mentions, "If I don't have an iPhone in my hand every five seconds, I actually don't know what I'm supposed to do" ([02:33]).

• Discussion on Mutual Ageism:
  The hosts discuss the broader issue of ageism, acknowledging that while they recognize their biases, their personal experiences continue to shape their views. Enya reflects, "I used to, like, fucking hate old people, but then I had a moment where I liked them in a mean way" ([06:01]).

3. Airplane WiFi Frustrations

Enya and Drew express their dissatisfaction with airplane WiFi services, highlighting limitations and poor user experiences.

• Enya's Struggle with Limited WiFi:
  Enya shares her frustration with having to purchase WiFi for long international flights, only to find the service restrictive: "I can't watch TikToks but I can't watch Netflix" ([29:00]).

• Drew's Avoidance of WiFi Purchases:
  Drew explains his strategy to forgo purchasing WiFi to disconnect from his phone, stating, "I'm taking my phone off" to embrace a moment of offline time ([29:01]).

4. Relationship Dynamics Between Drew and Enya

The hosts provide an entertaining glimpse into their personal relationship, filled with teasing and playful conflict.

• Flirting and Tension:
  Drew and Enya engage in a back-and-forth exchange about their relationship, with Drew asserting, "I never wanted you," and Enya challenging his statements. This playful banter underscores their complex dynamic ([18:08]).

• Physical Interactions and Humor:
  The conversation includes humorous attempts to bridge their differences, such as discussing insecurities and teasing each other about personal traits. For instance, Enya jokes about helping Drew with his height by giving him insoles, enhancing their lighthearted rapport ([54:35]).

5. Interactions with Josiah and Kai

Josiah and Kai, presumably friends or recurring guests, contribute to the episode's lively atmosphere.

• Josiah's Interruptions:
  Josiah frequently interjects with comments and anecdotes, adding another layer of humor and spontaneity to the discussion. His participation becomes a running theme throughout the episode ([19:06], [35:00]).

• Kai's Mental Health Briefing:
  Towards the end, Kai briefly shares about his struggles with sleep and anxiety, prompting Enya and Drew to offer comical yet caring advice. Enya suggests, "Maybe you shouldn't," in response to Kai's mention of taking chill pills ([50:38]).

6. Personal Anecdotes and Everyday Frustrations

The hosts delve into various personal stories and vent about everyday annoyances, maintaining a relatable and comedic tone.

• Dealing with Disrespectful Passengers:
  Enya narrates multiple encounters with inconsiderate passengers on flights, emphasizing the inconsiderate behavior of others and its impact on her travel experience ([07:28]).

• Flirting Failures and Embarrassing Moments:
  Drew shares an embarrassing attempt at flirting, revealing his awkwardness in social interactions: "My flirting was literally see you later" ([22:09]).

• Gym Routines and Health Habits:
  The conversation shifts to their gym routines and dietary habits, with Enya candidly discussing her overeating tendencies and Drew reflecting on his past unhealthy eating patterns. Enya remarks, "I just like doing it. And it feels really good for me" ([44:15]).

7. Conclusion and Final Exchanges

The episode wraps up with a mix of humor and camaraderie as the hosts interact with Josiah and Kai, sharing final thoughts and lighthearted jabs.

• Height Enhancement Prank:
  Enya and Drew experiment with height-increasing insoles on Kai, leading to a series of laughs and playful teasing about Kai’s stature. Enya comments, "You go from, like, five foot two and a half, and then with your personality, you get to, like, a 5.4 and 1/3" ([55:18]).

• Final Goodbyes and Teasing:
  The hosts conclude with humorous farewells, including a mock Eskimo kiss and playful remarks about each other's habits, keeping the tone light and entertaining until the end ([60:35]).

---

Notable Quotes:

• Drew on Technology Dependence:
  "If I don't have an iPhone in my hand every five seconds, I actually don't know what I'm supposed to do." ([02:33])

• Enya on Ageism:
  "I used to, like, fucking hate old people, but then I had a moment where I liked them in a mean way." ([06:01])

• Drew on WiFi Avoidance:
  "I'm taking my phone off. I'm trying to be off my phone and not need to use it." ([29:01])

• Enya on Personal Relationships:
  "I have to feed the village. I like don't have time." ([01:39])

• Kai on Mental Health:
  "Sometimes my depression just flares up." ([50:39])

---

Insights and Themes:

• Intergenerational Tensions:
  The hosts explore their frustrations with older generations, particularly in structured environments like airplanes, highlighting a generational divide in behavior and technology use.

• Technology Dependence:
  A recurring theme is the reliance on smartphones and the challenges of disconnecting, reflecting modern society's broader issues with technology addiction.

• Humor in Personal Struggles:
  Enya and Drew use humor to navigate and discuss personal insecurities, relationship dynamics, and mental health, making their discussions both entertaining and relatable.

• Group Dynamics:
  The interactions between the main hosts and recurring characters like Josiah and Kai add depth to the conversation, showcasing diverse personalities and their influence on group dynamics.

---

Conclusion:

"Drew Hates Enya" offers a candid and humorous exploration of everyday frustrations, personal relationships, and societal observations. Through their witty banter and relatable anecdotes, Enya and Drew engage listeners in a lively conversation that balances humor with genuine insights into their interactions and experiences.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

Sometimes the man has to take control.

[Enya]

That is true. Like as a girl, sometimes I'm like, oh my God, like my boob is getting more blood than my brain. So I like can't.

[Drew]

It's hard for you to understand certain things. I get it and I'm glad you get that.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Especially when you're making milk in there constantly.

[Enya]

Yeah. Cuz I have to like feed the village. I like don't have time.

[Drew]

One village.

[Enya]

Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

Welcome back to this episode.

[Enya]

I know as I said it I was like, we haven't made that mistake in like so long. We said that for the first like 30 episodes until we realized that was not correct.

[Drew]

Yeah. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom. This episode. We have a doozy for you.

[Enya]

When you say that and then follow it with nothing. It's like so anticlimactic. The first thing I want to talk about is old people. It's not based on that. So I just got back from New York and on my flight it like this lady next to me reminded me of my grandma. And this freaks me out about old people is the fact that they can just sit and do nothing for like five hours straight.

[Drew]

Like dead ass just didn't grow up with an iPhone in their hand. Like I actually, if I don't have an iPhone in my hand every five seconds, I actually don't know what I'm supposed to do. Like I have my iPhone charging on the other side of the room right now and it's normally in my pocket and I Actually feel naked without it. It's crazy.

[Enya]

It's because it's, like, the tick to pull it out and, like, swipe through, like, 8 million apps for, like, any sign of, like, serotonin or dopamine.

[Drew]

You can get serotonin depletion.

[Enya]

Yeah. But the lady next to me on the plane literally sat there for five hours doing nothing. Like, I went to sleep, and she was looking straight with her fucking hands on the tray. And when I woke up, she was.

[Drew]

Still doing that it's giving robot.

[Enya]

She literally was a little robot. She was just, like, rebooting and, like, recoding.

[Drew]

Our neighbor just took a flash photo.

[Enya]

Of us through the window.

[Drew]

So weird.

[Enya]

Should we go stop him? Or should we just let him have that for his enjoyment?

[Drew]

I mean, he can see at my skirt. I don't care.

[Enya]

You don't.

[Drew]

Oh, my God, your Catholic sleigh.

[Enya]

Today I'm wearing this baby doll dress that because of my big boobs.

[Drew]

Is it supposed to be pink?

[Enya]

Yeah, it's pink.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Just making a light pink color because I have too many white dresses that look like this. Oh, my God. Kai's doing the thing where he's covering my. Look my body with his hand.

[Drew]

Well, that's good for him because he's.

[Enya]

Scared he's gonna look at my boo.

[Drew]

The guy's been hella jealous recently. What?

[Kai]

No, I haven't.

[Enya]

What did he do?

[Drew]

Actually, he had.

[Enya]

What did he do?

[Drew]

He's been so jealous of me.

[Enya]

Oh, I know. He's been territorial.

[Drew]

I know it's crazy. And, like, I'm, like, territory. He's giving. Like, I never even said yes to anything.

[Enya]

I know. Y' all were never, like, exclusive, so you're being obsessive enough.

[Kai]

You were treating me like we were exclusive.

[Drew]

Okay, well, just because he was very clear from the beginning. I was very clear. I want nothing out of this except a hole.

[Enya]

And it doesn't matter that Drew was, like, taking you on dates and, like, listening to you talk all the time and emotionally tending to you and, like, picked you up from the airport every time you landed. And, like, all this stuff, like, that doesn't mean you're dating. That literally just means that he's going to fudge you later.

[Kai]

Okay?

[Enya]

And you're crazy, and you're so obsessed.

[Kai]

I'm not crazy. He treated me. I've never been treated like that. And, I mean, I guess he did only refer to me as whole, and that's.

[Enya]

And that's his fault that you've never been treated good.

[Kai]

Stop. He's like, playing with me right now. Can you see what he's doing?

[Enya]

Well, he wants to you.

[Drew]

We need to bleep all those F words out.

[Enya]

We're like the. He wants your hole. He wants your. He wants your slimy little hole. Hey, are you gonna have that hole slimy and ready for my friend or what? That's how I'm gonna hit on people at parties. I'd be like, he's. Hey, my friend over there literally wants your slimy, slippery hole ready and spread for him later tonight. Are you willing to do that or not?

[Kai]

Like, when Drew looked at me, I left snail trails on my. On my seat.

[Enya]

Thank God. They're like this fake leather that we could just wipe clean with, like, Lysol.

[Drew]

Because it's always clean.

[Enya]

You lick his sweaty hole.

[Drew]

I just want to say, oh, my.

[Kai]

God, when I saw that TikTok of you and Josiah, like, it really me up, and I honestly, I feel like you owe me an apology.

[Drew]

I don't owe you.

[Enya]

Do you have anything to say? Oh, Josiah and Kyra fighting. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Damn.

[Enya]

Okay, not to take sides, but he made a really good point there.

[Drew]

Points were made.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

I've been here for years with Drew.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Been at it for years.

[Enya]

But enough about you. Slutty holes. Old people. They fucking scare me. Actually, no. I used to, like, fucking hate old people, but then I, like, had a moment where I was like, I, like, liked them in, like, a mean way that was, like, almost like pitying old people, which I shouldn't do because they're, like, literally three times my senior, so I should be like, wow, you have so much to share. But, like, I just can't help but feel bad people.

[Drew]

No, that's mean. I can't even say it. Like, half of them don't even remember all their wisdom.

[Enya]

I mean, it's kind of true, dude. It actually makes me so sad. Like, when I see old people, I'm like, damn. Like, you're just like. You're in it for, like, the fuck of it now.

[Drew]

Like, dead ass. It's like, why are you still here? You did it. All right? I love, love, love my grandparents, but sometimes I'm like.

[Enya]

My grandma isn't old enough that I'm like, damn. Like, why are you still, like, kicking rocks right now? But I have seen old people where I'm like, okay, you're pushing it. Like, you're being.

[Drew]

Give that life to a newborn.

[Enya]

Like, make some room.

[Drew]

I know this may be the most problematic we've said on this podcast.

[Enya]

Because it's, like, hella ages.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, okay.

[Enya]

I just have a lot of rage for old people because this old fucking cunt was a bitch to me at Starbucks.

[Drew]

This is actually the most shocking moment I've ever experienced. Like. Like, I'll explain it. So we were walking into Starbucks, and me and Josiah were traveling behind Enya. And Enya went in before us and was holding the door for us. And then this old bag walked up with her stupid fucking Kelly Birkin, like, and her stupid jumpsuit tracksuit.

[Enya]

Her Lululemon. Like, the one that makes you, like, look like, give it up, girl.

[Drew]

Give it up, girl.

[Enya]

You're pushing it.

[Drew]

And Josiah was like, you know what? Like, why don't you. Why don't you go ahead of us? And she's like, yeah. And, like, basically was like, yeah, like, I know that was the plan all along. I should be doing this. Like, treat me better. And we were like, okay. And we didn't think anything of it. Anya held the door for her. She walked around Inya and, like, essentially ran to cut in front of Inya to, like, order before Inya. And. And I was like, I'm. I've never experienced that level of disrespect without a single word exchange.

[Enya]

Not even a glance. Like, we might as well have not existed.

[Drew]

Not a thank you.

[Enya]

So crazy.

[Drew]

Not a thank you, not a mm, Not a nod. Nothing. Literally just, like, robot old people. Like, I deserve this more than you.

[Enya]

Which is what's crazy also about, like, her fit is, like, she had fake Chanel flights flats on, which that's just me being mean to her to be mean to her. But how do you have a Kelly Birkin in your hand? It's probably fake Lululemon. Like, like, jacket and, like, Lululemon tights. And then, like, the flats aren't even, like, proper Chanel. Like, now you're just making me. Now you're just making me mad.

[Drew]

You're giving me a fucking.

[Enya]

You're being a mean.

[Drew]

You're giving.

[Enya]

And then what made it worse is she got her drink in, like, two minutes and fudgeing left and disappeared. And for some reason, my drink got put behind like, a plethora of other.

[Drew]

Actually six other after me.

[Enya]

So literally, I just, like, stood there, like, waiting for my drink for so long, and I felt so stupid and disrespected. And that's where my rage for old people has come from. Although most old people are super fucking nice and, like, I love them, but I don't know, I feel bad. Like, I Know, you shouldn't pity old people. But you know what I'm thinking about is literally like, the old. The old man. We almost saw trip and, like, break his fucking head open. Like, that made me really sad and scared. Like, like. Because, okay, you know what the difference was? I saw, like, a man around our age, Trip, and I, like, laughed because I was like, that's funny. And then an old man came by and tripped on the same thing. And I, like, literally got so scared and sad for him, I was like, no, that's really fucked up. We need to call the city.

[Drew]

Like, anyways, literally, like, no, we should actually, like, call the city right now. And I was like, when have you ever wanted to fix anything the city?

[Enya]

Because on that same street, I saw another old man once fall and hit his head. And it was, like, really gnarly. And I was driving by and I almost stopped the car to, like, go help, but he had his family around him and they were helping him already. But it free freaked me out because I was like, oh, my God. That's like. That's just one of those tragic things that's like, oh, my God. Like, that person could, like, literally die from that because, like, he's like 8 million years old already. His body shouldn't be experiencing that, experiencing trauma.

[Drew]

I don't think anybody should be experiencing that.

[Enya]

Oh. Oh, my God. Are you serious?

[Drew]

That's. You are just such an ageist.

[Enya]

You're an empath, if anything.

[Drew]

My God.

[Enya]

Is his ass out?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Enya]

Josiah's been taking down his pants as a bit. Not with his, like, weaner or anything, but he just, like, will start talking to you, and if you turn around and you turn back around, his pants are, like, around his thighs and he's, like, hobbling around you.

[Drew]

He has the worst I've had case of all time.

[Enya]

It's so ugly.

[Drew]

It matches his glasses. Flip it around. Oh, dude.

[Enya]

The hanging thread is a lot.

[Drew]

Dude. Like, that was made for the people that we were, like, talking about. Like, that woman in Starbucks has that.

[Enya]

She owns this.

[Drew]

What are you doing?

[Enya]

What's he showing?

[Drew]

He's probably gonna look up grossest vagina ever on Google. That's just Aya's bit. Also, he'll just look up grossest vagina, Literally, verbatim, grossest vagina ever on Google, and then put it up.

[Enya]

He wants us to cut that.

[Drew]

No, it's not. He wants us to cut that.

[Enya]

Maybe you shouldn't.

[Drew]

Can you give me my iPhone?

[Enya]

Stop. I got so scared. Walk in frame, girl.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Enya]

Me went on that one painting in Italy. You know, the hands touching.

[Drew]

The girl with a pearl tattoo.

[Enya]

The girl with the pearl tattoo.

[Drew]

Eat and egg.

[Enya]

What did Josiah text me? He said, talk about Barbara Correia. Who is that?

[Drew]

Barbara Corcoran. Barbara Corcoran for Ms. Babs Babiana from Shark Tank.

[Enya]

Yeah, I've seen her. I've seen her in real life.

[Drew]

I saw her at a really popular, craziest lobster place.

[Enya]

Yeah, I know. She was literally wearing like a tie dye hoodie that said Miami beach on it. And she was paying for all of her and her girls drinks. And I was like, damn, that is such a slight. That's what I need to be doing now. She see that's an old person that I'm like, that's so slay. Maybe what I'm learning is I just find some people sad and that's a problem.

[Drew]

I'm reading the ideas that I have for this episode and it's crazy. They're usually crazy worms that eat plastic. They.

[Enya]

You want to make them?

[Drew]

No, they genetically modified some mealworms that literally their source of sustenance is plastic. And they need to release them bitches everywhere and just eat all the plastic. I don't give a fuck if they start eating plastic homes and shit. Like, eat it all, get it all out, please.

[Enya]

Wait. But it will, like degrade like that in their stomach from their stomach acids.

[Drew]

Yeah. Instead of taking like 700 years, it takes the worms just how long it takes them to shit.

[Enya]

But that means that literally at one point at Home Depot, you know how there's like the mothballs, there's going to be mealworm balls.

[Drew]

I'm so down for it. Get rid of all the plastic, please. Please get rid of all the plastic.

[Enya]

I don't trust green juices and like vegetable juices in plastic. That's.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, even those, like, shots.

[Enya]

Yeah, yeah. In plastic. I'm like, that feels like my body shouldn't be having, like, vitamins that have been like, chipping away at the, like.

[Drew]

Plastic that is like the acidity of like the citrus. Like. Yeah, like a Coca Cola in a plastic bottle. You're asking for.

[Enya]

Yeah. You're already drinking something that's so, like, unnatural. Like, what are you asking for?

[Drew]

Yeah, but like, don't put a green juice in a plastic bottle. Like, please don't do that.

[Enya]

Yeah. Fuck you.

[Drew]

Well, thank you guys for watching this episode of Emergency in the Com. We are out of here. No media.

[Enya]

Mine sucks so bad. It's. I really can't Believe other people are alive. That's one of them.

[Drew]

I've had that written down in my notes for the episode. Topic 36. Yeah.

[Enya]

Because I literally just, like, I can't believe it. Like, I don't know. Like, it's just, like, sometimes scares me so bad. Like, when I was on the plan, I was just like, damn, this plane is so full of people, and everybody's gonna get off and they have somewhere to go. That's the crazy part.

[Drew]

No, that's the craziest part about that, is that's not real. That's what they want you to think. I'm genuinely serious. Like, everybody is an actor. Everybody's a crisis actor.

[Enya]

So then why would they.

[Drew]

None of it.

[Enya]

Actors. Like the one who was mean to me today.

[Drew]

So we could talk about it on the podcast.

[Enya]

That's true.

[Drew]

And keep us in line.

[Enya]

So I could talk about on the podcast and get in trouble for calling out her fiction. No flats. Because then someone's gonna be like, what's. So what's the. What's the big deal about her having fake Chanel?

[Drew]

It's crazy how we're free thinkers. You ever thought about that? We're free thinkers.

[Enya]

And I said, I can't say who. Don't just agree to what I say. And then right after that, it's like, my biggest issue and problem is I say, like, it's a fact when I'm just guessing, but I'm usually right anyway.

[Drew]

So it doesn't matter. You don't do that.

[Enya]

Yes, I do. You. But you know what I was talking about. Like, yeah, I was talking to somebody.

[Drew]

All you want to say is the truth. And just, like, don't. Don't argue with me.

[Enya]

It's because any, like, literally any question you get asked, if you use, like, just a bit of common sense and, like, what is it? There. There's, like, a term for it. It's like. It's like when you're guessing on a test.

[Drew]

Everything I've. I'm. I genuinely believe this. Everything I've ever said or every word that has come out of my mouth has been real. Like, it's been the realest shit possible. I'm not.

[Enya]

I'm not kidding. That's how I feel, too, because I literally, random as fudge, got into a conversation about the LGA, like, LaGuardia Airport, because the LGBT.

[Drew]

Why are you discussing LGBT matters?

[Enya]

You wish I would talk about that.

[Drew]

But I don't know.

[Enya]

I don't. And I won't be talking about it. I don't know what that is.

[Drew]

It is July.

[Enya]

It is July. Done. But I was talking about the LaGuardia Airport and how like they don't take non stop flights from la. And I was talking to a friend about it and they were like oh, like I don't get why they don't do that. Like they would make so, so much more money. And I was like, well probably they like maybe even during like the pandemic, they stopped taking those flights because they just like had like lower staff or something and they just realized they could like still function at a high profit rate without those flights. And then I was like, or literally it's just a small ass airport and taking those long flights like might be a little dangerous like for like to like land a plane that's been flying.

[Drew]

That long or they signed a contract with JFK the reroute all of it to jfk.

[Enya]

No. So what it is? No, but I was kind of right. It's literally because it's a small airport and they just decided when it was built that it shouldn't take flights that traveled for more than 2, 000 miles. And then they pushed it to 1500. So I was kind of right. But the person I was talking to was like, no, I don't think that's true. Like off rip without any like knowledge themselves. Which pissed me off because I was like, why don't you just agree with me?

[Drew]

Like just literally. Just like that's the other thing. If I am wrong, internalize that shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm wrong. Because like, you have no right to.

[Enya]

Speak to me that way.

[Drew]

I'm serious. You have no right to speak to.

[Enya]

Me when I just went, no, you have no right.

[Drew]

You have no right to speak me that way.

[Enya]

I guess like also if I'm saying a hypothetical, just like go with it. Shut the fuck up. Like, don't. Like I say that. Like I'm not.

[Drew]

I was about to say every time we've ever had a hypothetical, you have to.

[Enya]

Because hypotheticals aren't real unless I'm saying it. Because then when I give a hypothetical, hypotheticals aren't real. No, see, because that's the thing is when I give a hypothetical, that shit is real. I'm literally tapping in and I'm picking your brain a little bit. And if you give me the wrong answer, you're a bad person. You're going to rot in hell forever.

[Drew]

Yeah, sure.

[Enya]

That's the difference between you and me. Like hypothetical is like, oh no, I'm using them to manipulate.

[Kai]

Josiah just asked if you guys could keep it down a little bit.

[Enya]

Oh, is he on his.

[Drew]

I'm going to ask Josiah to kill himself in my living room.

[Enya]

Hey, not there. Because it might stay.

[Drew]

Yeah, Yeah. I will hang myself. I wish I knew you wanted me.

[Enya]

I wish I knew you to me in 2016.

[Drew]

I wish I you to me in 2016.

[Enya]

No, that would be you to me because I wanted you.

[Drew]

And you would be like, I wish I knew you wanted me.

[Enya]

No, because if I'm saying that that makes it seem like you wanted me.

[Kai]

She's right.

[Enya]

Exactly.

[Drew]

I wish I knew you wanted me.

[Enya]

I wish I knew you wanted me. It's literally.

[Drew]

But I never wanted you.

[Enya]

No, it's because it's him saying, I wish I knew you had crush on me.

[Drew]

And that's you saying that to me. Because I never had a crush.

[Enya]

No, that would only make sense if you had a crush on me.

[Drew]

Watch the girls agree with me.

[Enya]

Sorry we had to take a break because you're genuinely got mad over that, even though you know. You know.

[Drew]

And that's the thing, is I'm real. I'm real for admitting this. I'm real.

[Enya]

You know, embarrassing is when we listen back to it, you're going to see that you said the opposite.

[Drew]

No, I really was saying, like, it's coming out of. It's coming out of my mouth. Like, I'm saying, I wish I knew you wanted me, because if I knew you wanted me, I would have been like, yeah. Oh. Like, I wouldn't have pushed it on and egged it on. And you remember me saying that?

[Enya]

I. You did say that, but when I started it, I started it. There I was like, literally, you to me in 2016. And then you were like, no, you to me. And then that's why. That's literally.

[Josiah]

Why is this about the Steve lipstick?

[Enya]

For it to like. Like, literally. I wish y' all saw. I guess we have it on video, but maybe we don't play it because.

[Drew]

It got so serious for Drew. It got very.

[Enya]

He literally, he was like, you're laughing in my face. And I was like, dude, I'm sorry. Like, I don't know how I'm not supposed to laugh at this. Like.

[Drew]

Well. Well, let's talk about James Web's face.

[Enya]

And then I thought you were mad because I said that when I was 16, I didn't. Or when I was 17, I didn't actually want to have sex with you. And then I was like, wait, is this making him also offended and mad? Right now is that.

[Drew]

That did get under my skin. Well, because there was a moment.

[Enya]

Okay. But, like, you have to understand, I was, like, a virgin. And also, I literally like it. I mean, it plays into how I view sex now. It's literally, like, it takes so much for me to be like, yes, I'm sexually inclined by this person because I, I wanted to date literally everybody. I could literally name, like, 10 people who, like, I was like, oh, my God, I'm.

[Drew]

They love me.

[Enya]

They love me.

[Drew]

They want me.

[Enya]

And me. Because I had never experienced a single man being nice to me before.

[Drew]

I was like, wait, wait, this is what love is. But that's literally me now. Well, actually, no. I just fall in love with everybody.

[Enya]

That I see, and then when they start actually giving you attention, you get mad. You're like, no.

[Drew]

Why is this freak talking to me? Leave me alone.

[Enya]

Well, we just gave Steve lacy literally a 10 minute spot on the podcast, and it's us arguing.

[Drew]

Cut it.

[Enya]

Cut it now.

[Drew]

Cut it out.

[Enya]

Well, his album is awesome, so how about that?

[Drew]

Oh, you, you started liking it, yes or no? I remember saying, like, you only liked, like, four songs off of it or something.

[Enya]

I still like. I like there's only four songs that I would really listen to, like, on rotation, like, two of the singles and then, like, two of the other songs. But I don't, I just don't like listening to.

[Drew]

Just, Just take that off of that last.

[Enya]

I, I, I just like, I, I don't like, like, slow songs right now. I think because his singles were so, like, upbeat, that's, like, what I wanted, the whole thing.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

But speaking of flirting literally, okay, so.

[Drew]

I wrote this note down because it is, like, the most embarrassing thing. So I said, me flirting is so embarrassing. I thought this worker at the plant store was hot. Was like, I want to flirt. And, and my flirting was literally see you later. Like, I was literally like, see you later.

[Enya]

Ew. Also, no, you won't, bitch. You don't go anywhere.

[Drew]

I did do a lot of things. I bought those.

[Enya]

But you did not see him later. You did a lot of things, but.

[Drew]

You did not see them later. I have seen him there before.

[Enya]

Her.

[Drew]

Her. They. There. I've seen them there before.

[Enya]

We literally.

[Drew]

Like, what is this supposed to make me? Am I supposed to be like, let's go, let's run?

[Enya]

Wait, it's literally, no. We're being tested right now because it's for missing and endangered elderly. It's a silver alert. It's the lady.

[Drew]

Wait, what if this is like us outing ourselves? No, I can't even say that. But, yeah, let's ride. Let's go save them. Let's go save them.

[Enya]

That is such a good say. Like, what am I? Like, it's so loud as. It's like literally a call to action.

[Drew]

Yeah, I saw someone redesign, like, the. What are those called?

[Kai]

The Amber Alert.

[Drew]

Yeah, I saw them, like, redesign a redesign of it and I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense, but getting this scary ass text on your screen and that scary sound, like, literally just like, makes me want not want to do anything. But there was like a redesign of it where it was like, like a radius of where the person is missing. Like a picture of the car, a picture of the kid. It was like. It was really cool, actually. And I was like, that makes sense.

[Enya]

That makes more sense. Like, realistically, if I'm in my house and you're telling me like a plate number, the chances of me leaving the house and remembering that are, like, slim to none. Because what happens is I see that alert and then I'm. I just swipe up and I keep going on TikTok while I'm driving.

[Drew]

Literally, India does TikTok and drive. No, I do. I did. I did two days ago. I literally did. I was like, wait, I am too far into the hole and I need to, like, take a break from this.

[Enya]

I. Shockingly, I don't use my phone that much while I drive. Like, because I'm, like, really bad at it, so I just don't do it. But I love when people are in my car and I make the joke. I always do it and nobody ever says no, which is, like, really fucked up. But I always. If there's a new person who gets in my car, I'll pick up my phone. And I'm like, oh, you don't mind if I text and drive, right? And they always, always are like, no, not really. And I'm like, dude, have a little bit of self respect for your fucking safety. Like, I. I say no. Like, don't.

[Drew]

Well, I. The thing is, is I have no care for my own life, so you.

[Enya]

You should keep that to yourself.

[Drew]

If I'm being very honest, I'm just being vulnerable.

[Enya]

I mean, like, at what cost? Like, it's like, boring. It's just like super boring if I'm being honest. Like, your sob story is, like, boring as fuck. I actually saw a TikTok that said that it was like that this girl was talking about her trauma to somebody and then. And they were like, I'm gonna be honest with you. Your trauma is really boring.

[Drew]

It's not even good.

[Enya]

It's like so boring. It's like not that interesting at all. I would win. I would win a competition, though not.

[Drew]

To make it a competition trauma battle.

[Enya]

I think, like, I would be like, I'd have to be top. Top three in the friend group. Like not to like debunk anybody else's, but like I have to make top three.

[Drew]

Easy. Yeah, it's easy.

[Enya]

I'm walking home at least with a bronze. Honestly, I might. I might get home with a gold medal. I was.

[Drew]

I just got Kai looking at me.

[Enya]

I was dropping jaws.

[Drew]

He was just staring at me.

[Kai]

I wasn't looking at you.

[Enya]

You are so nasty.

[Kai]

There's like a. There's a way that your is pressing up against your. Sorry.

[Enya]

That was like really real. Look, you made a move.

[Drew]

Made me feel small.

[Kai]

I was talking to my friend recently and I was like. I've been saying and pussy ironically for so long that like, it is just. I don't even think about it when I say it.

[Drew]

That's so gross.

[Kai]

I know.

[Drew]

It's so good.

[Enya]

I say both those things with my full chest. I say them ironically and unironically.

[Kai]

You say pussy unironically?

[Enya]

Yes. Well, I fucking have a pussy.

[Drew]

What am I supposed to say?

[Enya]

What am I supposed to say? Oh my God, my vagina. My vagina is literally so wet right now. I say both unironically. Josie just wants to come in here, body check and then leave.

[Drew]

I know.

[Josiah]

P.

[Drew]

You'Re such a fucking pussy.

[Josiah]

Such a fucking pussy.

[Enya]

Ew. Get out of here.

[Josiah]

Wait, can you hear this on the mic guy?

[Drew]

The camera mic pe.

[Josiah]

It's hot in this fucking house.

[Drew]

I know you're running around, motherfucker.

[Josiah]

It's so hot in his house.

[Enya]

Please.

[Drew]

It really is so bad. Spotify.

[Josiah]

Yeah, hey, Spotify.

[Enya]

Also. I don't believe that airplane mode. Like you have to turn it on when you get on a flight. I just don't believe that.

[Drew]

I've never done it and I don't do it.

[Enya]

Yeah. So it doesn't interfere with like the connection. I'm like, okay, this is a big piece of metal in the sky. You're going to tell me my little iPhone is going to. With your gps, like get a better.

[Drew]

I think it's on takeoff. Like, cuz they have to hear like the radio signals in their ears.

[Enya]

I never turn airplane mode on.

[Kai]

I do sometimes I feel like I would say 23% of the people. Yeah, 23% are turning it on.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Like, max the amount of like, old people who have gotten like actual phone calls, like on a plane, like, they're not turning that off.

[Drew]

All old people have androids. Let's have that.

[Enya]

Or they have the iPhones that they're like grandchildren.

[Drew]

The iPhone 3.

[Enya]

Yeah, they have like the one with the button still. I actually had to help the lady at the last few minutes of the flight. I felt bad for her because I was like, damn. So she would use her iPhone if she knew she could because she saw me using my iPhone.

[Drew]

We just need to put sudoku and chess on that.

[Enya]

No, she was like, she asked me, she was like, oh, how do you have service? And I was like, oh, it's WI fi. And then like, I helped her connect to the WI fi and she was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. And then we like, the WI fi turned off two minutes later because we were landing.

[Drew]

You made her waste $15?

[Enya]

No, thankfully she had T mobile, so.

[Drew]

She got free WI fi that's lit.

[Enya]

They changed it from an hour free WI fi to like the full flight, which is so awesome. And because literally. Okay, yeah, here I go on a six hour flight with my hour of WI fi.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

What the fuck do you want me to get done in an hour?

[Drew]

Like, I literally take the time on an airplane, like, to purposely not buy WI fi. I'm like, okay, this is like the one time I can like be off my phone and like, not need to use it. And I literally still think the world erupted in chaos and burns every single time I land. And right when I turn it on, I'm like, like seething at the mouth. They're like, see what's going on? But nothing ever happens. But I try not to buy WI fi. I did like the last, like two times, but typically I'm like, this is my moment.

[Enya]

I bought WI fi when I was going to Europe.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Enya]

Because I was like, trying not to sleep on the flight. So I was like, I need something to do. And then I slept anyway because I got too high and I like, needed to go to sleep. Freaking out.

[Drew]

Does it like, buy for the whole flight?

[Enya]

There's different. Like, that's the annoying part is literally, why am I spending $10 for two hours of like WI fi or like, for an hour of WI fi? Like, you're a scammer and I can't even watch TikToks. I didn't even get to watch Tick Tock on that WI fi.

[Drew]

Really?

[Enya]

Yeah. So I was like, what's the point?

[Drew]

What's the point?

[Enya]

Why can I watch TikToks but I can't watch like, like Netflix and stuff? Explain that to me. Like, what's the difference? Like, you can't stream like Netflix on an airplane's WI Fi. But I can watch 8 million TikToks.

[Drew]

Wait, what?

[Enya]

Like you can't like go on Hulu like on a plane with that WI Fi and just like watch anything on Hulu or Netflix.

[Drew]

But you can watch Tick Tocks.

[Enya]

Yeah, but you can watch Tick Tocks.

[Drew]

You couldn't watch.

[Enya]

No, I said, why can't I watch TikToks but I can't watch Netflix? Oh, I was like, I can watch 8 million TikToks, but I can't like watch a movie on Netflix. Like, why is that?

[Kai]

Maybe they want you to buy the movies on the plane or something.

[Enya]

Or like watch the movies that they have on there.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

So stupid. But the movies on so many, like, airlines suck. I haven't seen a TV on an American airline plane and ever, like, I don't think I've ever been on an American airline plane and they have a TV like that. I shouldn't be in a plane that doesn't have tv.

[Drew]

Yeah, like enough. That's a danger.

[Enya]

That is literally so fucking scary. Like, there's not a USB port. They gotta start upgrading them to USBC.

[Drew]

Because like, oh, literally. Because like I can't even use. They need Bluetooth.

[Enya]

Yeah, because now everybody has Bluetooth headphones and I'm not buying your fucking five dollar, like gringly ass little stupid headphones.

[Drew]

Yeah, but you have to buy them on JetBlue.

[Enya]

You have to buy the headphones. Every airline. Every airline, they do it differently. Like, it's so annoying. I'm like, also, can you all agree to doing something because like, why am I like following different rules?

[Drew]

Can someone monopolize the airline industry and just make it one airline? So I can like, can like combined all my points.

[Enya]

Points are also like, so pointless.

[Drew]

Scam.

[Enya]

That's the biggest scam ever. They're like, oh my God, make sure you sign up and use your points. It's like, oh my God, I have 8,000 points. That much be.

[Drew]

That must be so one way flight to Europe at least it's like a one foot way flight to like shit ass nowhere, Missouri.

[Enya]

You can get the $20 flight from Miami to Orlando.

[Drew]

Yeah. And you start to pay $700.

[Enya]

So stupid.

[Drew]

But we complain about airlines and airports on this podcast a lot because we're.

[Enya]

Just Always in them because our lives are moving.

[Drew]

Like I literally like I already forgot that I was there, like in la, you know what I mean? Like I'm traveling so much, I just.

[Enya]

Don'T know where I belong. And honestly it's like hurting my mental health and like I. I feel like disassociated because I get back to something and I'm like, how does this feel? So familiar, yet like so unfamiliar. Because I haven't been here for so long and it's like a never ending cycle and it's probably going to trigger like something really deep in my brain one day.

[Drew]

Literally.

[Enya]

Love. I am now on a cycle where I get to the airport an hour before my first flight takes off and I refuse to get there earlier.

[Drew]

That is so dangerous.

[Enya]

It's never, it's never fails for me. Like literally my flight was at 3:59 and I got to the airport at 3 and I still had time to go look at glasses. Josie is. You need so much attention.

[Drew]

You need Instagram.

[Enya]

Do you want to come sit on mom's lap?

[Josiah]

Why do you have that?

[Enya]

This? Because I was smoking hella vapes and stuff.

[Drew]

It's a fidget. How long can you do a wall sit for? I. When I first started working out, I couldn't even do a minute wall sitting and I did three. What is it? Reps of two minutes each this last session.

[Enya]

So six minutes.

[Drew]

Yeah, but I had like 30 seconds off in between each. It was a nightmare. It was like the most painful thing I've ever done.

[Enya]

I used to be punished like that in elementary school. So I'm like pretty good at it.

[Drew]

Yeah. Dude, that is crazy. We've already talked about that. Like literally doing the like wall sits and blur beads on the hot concrete. Yeah, like when you're suicide runs, you're like do in a push up position. You jump up into the air and then you go back down into a push up jump up.

[Enya]

You couldn't do that for very.

[Drew]

I wish I knew you wanted me.

[Josiah]

I feel like when I come into the room, things change.

[Enya]

I mean you like suck all the energy out of this room.

[Josiah]

I didn't even do anything though.

[Enya]

You just breathed so heavily in my ear for like three seconds and then sunk to the floor like. You look like something really bad happened to you.

[Kai]

I like to watch porn on the airplane.

[Enya]

Oh my God.

[Josiah]

I got so drunk on my last flight.

[Kai]

I got so up.

[Josiah]

I really did. I had like four vodka lemonades.

[Enya]

Is it because they were free?

[Drew]

They were free.

[Enya]

Why were they free?

[Josiah]

Kai can you hear me?

[Kai]

No, it sounds like shit.

[Enya]

Wait, why were they free?

[Josiah]

I was on a flight to the United Kingdom. I was on a flight to Europe. You can hear me now, right?

[Kai]

You gotta get closer.

[Josiah]

I was on the flight to the United Kingdom.

[Kai]

Sorry, just a little bit closer.

[Josiah]

What?

[Kai]

A little closer.

[Josiah]

I was on a flight to the uk.

[Drew]

You did not get any clues.

[Josiah]

And here's the thing. There were free drinks on the plane. And I have recently turned 21. So on that flight, I had four or five vodka lemonades.

[Drew]

That's so scary that you're only 21.

[Josiah]

And the woman was saying, she was like, you want another one? And I was like, yes. Like, I do. Drink orders were done, dude.

[Enya]

Yeah, because also, you know that when you're on an airplane, you get drunker faster.

[Josiah]

Yeah. And you also get. I was. It was a 11 hour flight, so I was sober by the time we hit like ground in the uk.

[Drew]

Why were they free?

[Josiah]

I don't know.

[Enya]

I think because it's such a long flight.

[Drew]

We were like a long haul.

[Enya]

You were first class.

[Josiah]

First class.

[Kai]

Josiah. Wait, were you really Josiah?

[Josiah]

Oh, look a little closer. Like that.

[Enya]

You want to see him throw this mic so bad.

[Josiah]

So we went.

[Drew]

And he wants you to kiss.

[Josiah]

Went to the bathroom with the stewardess. No, I didn't.

[Drew]

No.

[Josiah]

But I did get very, very drunk on that flight. Me and Lucas both got drunk on that flight. And it was very. It was a very fun time. It was a good time. I had Fruit Ninja on my iPad.

[Enya]

Well, on my flight to Europe with Orion, we got like hella crossfaded. And we were talking to each other and we kept forgetting that we were like. We had headphones on. So we were screaming at each other and we were like, oh, my God, like, are they gonna come back with champagne? And we were like yelling at each other.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was just about to say that.

[Enya]

Wait, what farts?

[Drew]

We were talking about it yesterday when like, you were like, I've just been farting hella loud. Just randomly out loud. And then I was like, dude, when I'm on an airplane, I'll have like my noise canceling headphones on and I'll like rip ass. And like internally I'm like, was that loud? Like, did I just ask, like really loud?

[Enya]

It's bad when you can hear it where it's like, it's like an internal, like, it's like, like a loud fart. So you could feel it like vibrate the bottom half of your body. So you're like, you know that Was loud.

[Drew]

Since I have like such a big. Such big, like ash cheeks, like they like clap when I fart.

[Enya]

It's like there's no way. So wait, so your far is like, like that's how it comes out because it's like trying to escape through each class.

[Drew]

Yeah, dude.

[Enya]

I was sitting on the flight like this with my legs up on the chair in front of me, like bent over. And I had paused my music because I was like looking at something on Instagram. I was watching an Instagram reel and I pushed out like a fart and it was so loud, like I literally laughed out loud at myself. But I didn't mind because the man next to me was like annoying the out of me. So, like, I was like, good. I just farted on you.

[Drew]

You gave him a story to tell? Yeah, I was like, literally every person next to me gives me a story to tell. I sit next to the stinkiest people every single time I fly.

[Enya]

No, I had that for the first time.

[Drew]

I'm the common denominator.

[Enya]

Huh?

[Drew]

I said I'm the common denominator in all of these cases. What if I'm the stinky?

[Enya]

I know. I was going to say, like just so. It just so happened. You're always next to someone who stinks. Like it might be you.

[Drew]

It is a different smell every time. One time it was tomatoes. Someone smelled like rancid tomatoes. Like borderline ketchup.

[Enya]

Well, the man next to me smelt like the bunkest weed I've ever smelled. And he had two phones and then he started calling phones and he started falling asleep and he started falling on to me. And we'll insert that video because I got a video of it. He was literally falling on to me. And I really didn't with him because also I had an aisle seat before, but before we took off, this was the second mother who I gave my seat to. Like, I know I'm good, I'm a good person. But the first mother asked to switch seats with me. She had an aisle seat and I switched with her so she could sit by her like 10 year old son because I'm a saint. And then the next one, we're about to take off and like this mother and her daughter come in and her daughter had to be like 4 years old because she literally had her by the arm and like a little monkey plopped her between me and this random lady and then went sat in the middle seat in front of her. And the daughter was like, mom, sit next to me. Mom, why won't you sit next to me. And started, like, yelling and freaking out. And then the guy in front of me, I was like, hey, like, should we move so they can, like, sit next to each other? And he stands up and he's like, yeah, I don't care, but I just. I don't want to sit in the middle. And I was like, you're such a fudgeing cunt ass. Because, like, obviously I was probably going to move to the middle, like, no questions asked. But, like, you saying that was just so annoying.

[Drew]

Like, you did not have to.

[Enya]

Like, you think I want to sit in the middle? I'm just like, I feel bad for this literal child.

[Drew]

How old was the baby?

[Enya]

She was literally like four. Like, she could, like, speak, but she.

[Drew]

Was like, the mom bought a four year old another seat on the plane.

[Enya]

Maybe five. She. But she was tiny. Like, she was like a little ass girl.

[Drew]

Like, that's crazy.

[Enya]

But I think it was a situation where they got put on the flight because Delta had had a bunch of flights that got canceled, and it seemed like those were the two empty seats. And they just like, that was the closest they could get them without moving someone else. So we like. I switched and he smelt like weed and was falling all over me. And it was like the worst vibe ever.

[Drew]

Sometimes I think that's really cute. Telling me why, why, why, why, why, why?

[Enya]

Oh, wow, you look good.

[Drew]

And I know. I'm wondering why why Josiah got a haircut.

[Enya]

You look so good.

[Drew]

A cut and a dye. A cut and a dye.

[Enya]

You would look really bad with hair like this. Look at me. Turn around.

[Drew]

Dude, if you cut your hair short, it's so bad.

[Enya]

Josiah, look at me.

[Drew]

Josiah. Josiah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Don't breathe on her like that.

[Josiah]

I've gotten a. I got a cut in a color earlier, and I'm just. I feel really good about it, honestly.

[Drew]

That looks like.

[Enya]

Yeah, the new you.

[Drew]

It looks really bad. Dude, this wig is maybe one of the best investments we've ever made.

[Enya]

I know. We've used it. I know. We used it so much. We got it.

[Drew]

Field trip.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Can y' all post that on the Patreon?

[Enya]

No.

[Drew]

No. Hell no. No.

[Enya]

It's so bad.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

And that was the original. Original pilot.

[Enya]

I liked that one. That was. That one was when I wasn't in it.

[Josiah]

I know it was originally just me.

[Drew]

The. There. Wait, there was the art one, the ghost one, and the one with that one.

[Enya]

Yeah, I liked the one without me.

[Josiah]

OG1 was where you literally filmed it.

[Enya]

That's where I got Ernie from.

[Drew]

Yeah, Ernie.

[Enya]

That's where the nickname Ernie came from.

[Drew]

We should honestly post the horse one. I don't have it.

[Josiah]

I have it. I think I still have the link. It's like Unlisted on YouTube somewhere. We could download it.

[Drew]

MP4.

[Josiah]

YouTube to MP4.

[Drew]

I just had the MKV to MP4 for like the last 12 hours transitions.

[Josiah]

That they made for us. And I was like, oh, like no tea, no shade. But I mean, no, no shade, no all tea, no shade. It was very crazy.

[Enya]

You look insane. I can't believe you're like, I look smart. Also, you having the AirPods in like.

[Drew]

I have the craziest nausea ever right now. I really cannot eat before this podcast. I'm like, I just like burped throat already.

[Josiah]

So wet and like.

[Drew]

So it was gnarly.

[Enya]

Yeah. Cuz me and Josie had a breakfast that was divine. That was to die for.

[Josiah]

The protein. Bree. And that was good.

[Enya]

We had a breakfast that was to die for.

[Drew]

To die for.

[Josiah]

And then we ran into Helen Mirin.

[Drew]

Barbara Corcoran.

[Josiah]

Oh, really, Babs? Y' all were being lovely about her. She is an awful, awful human. She literally looks the way.

[Enya]

Is she bad?

[Josiah]

No, she's a good person.

[Drew]

Like Barbara.

[Enya]

You're just saying.

[Josiah]

She's not stand alone. Look at her or hear her. She hasn't made a deal on Shark Tank in like three seasons. She just always said, I don't get it.

[Enya]

Okay? Cuz she's real.

[Josiah]

She has wooden teeth and she has leather skin. She is lovely. I love her. But like, girl, we gotta. She's had knee surgery three times. That's crazy.

[Enya]

That's not that crazy. She's like an older woman. Why do you have to get knee surgery? Do your knees just not working?

[Drew]

Arthritis.

[Enya]

Arthritis. Author. Ride this, dick.

[Drew]

Arthur Wright. Tits. Bone apple.

[Enya]

This whole episode has just been like us arguing and then Josiah interrupting and saying Nothing for like 20 minutes.

[Drew]

Bone Apple tea. I wish you could have seen his full body.

[Josiah]

I look so pretty.

[Drew]

Let me describe you for him for the viewers, the listeners. He's wearing. His ass is voluptuous. His pants are ill fitting.

[Enya]

Ill fitting. But around his voluptuous cheeks. Rear.

[Josiah]

How is that open?

[Enya]

You can't just arch your back a little bit and just show that part of your body and then like.

[Drew]

You can't. Watch me. Oh, watch me, watch me.

[Josiah]

Oh, oh, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. But this is like kind of a big deal.

[Enya]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Drew]

When I oversleep, I'm taking a new Mindset on it. I'm not freaking out about being late. I'm just saying, oh, my body needed more sleep because that's the truth and my health comes first. What do you think of that?

[Enya]

I think that's a sweet sentiment, but I can't live like that because I am a greedy, gluttonous, and when I oversleep, it's literally not because I need it, it's because I just like doing it. And it feels really good for me. I can sleep like no other human. Like, I literally, I could go to sleep at 10pm and sleep until 12 the next day. And not in any world does my body need 14 hours of sleep. Like, I'm not doing anything that entails that kind of rest for my body.

[Drew]

I'm very neurotic about my sleep. I'm like, I only need six to eight hours, so I'm only gonna get it. And then I wake up and I start my day. But when I do sleep in, you know what's funny is I wrote that note down and then I saw a TikTok the next day of someone making fun of literally those exact same words. They were like, someone who's a morning person who slept in. And they quoted literally that. And I was like, I wouldn't claim I'm a morning person. I fucking hate being up in the morning. But if I'm not up in the morning, I feel like I wasted my day and I hate it.

[Enya]

Yeah, I feel that. I do feel like I wasted my day, but I'm just like, whatever. Because also when I wake up too early, like, I freak out because I'm like, I don't have anything to do, like, unless I have activities that I need to get done through the day. Then I'm like, oh, I need to wake up early. But, like, there's no reason for me to be awake before 9am there's no reason, like, for Anya humans or to be awake before 9am in the morning. There is not a single reason because I don't go to sleep until 1 or 2. So what in God's fucking name am I supposed to be doing for the next 17 hours? Literally, like, no, I don't need that.

[Drew]

Well, we're going to the gym at 10am Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays.

[Enya]

True. But, like, still, see, I don't need to be up before 9am for that.

[Drew]

True.

[Enya]

I wish I was the kind of morning person who's like, yeah, like, it's 9am Right now. I woke up at 6. I went to the gym, I took A shower. I had a little breakfast, and now I'm just, like, starting my day.

[Drew]

Someone's talking about me.

[Enya]

No, you're just like, no. You're losing your ability to hear because you're unhealthy. I saw a tick tock that. It was like. It was like when I was like, oh. I was like, no, girl, you feel good because you had a meal and you were like, girl, chill. People were like. Which this is, like, sweet, like, to think about. But like, they were like, she shouldn't have said that before he got to.

[Drew]

Don't say it. Don't talk about my eating habits, India.

[Enya]

And then I was like, okay. Like, I'm talking about my friend who eats Takis for every meal. And then he's shocked when he eats a real meal and is like, guys.

[Drew]

I get my calories. Let's just say that one way or another, I'm getting those calories.

[Enya]

He feels that belly, but sometimes not the correct way. I'll fill his belly loads.

[Drew]

No. I've been drinking so much protein, it's crazy. I'll drink collagen in the morning, and then in the afternoon, I just drink regular protein. And it's lit boots.

[Enya]

I literally can't believe that you were like, I feel like you would still do it, but now you've been having meals, so it's, like, not as crazy. But I literally, like, I can't stress enough. It is not a joke that Drew literally survived for, like, four years off of Hot Cheetos. When we were in 1304, it was even worse.

[Drew]

It was Hot Cheetos, Red Bull, and Slim Jim's. Like, that is literally. That was my meals. And I would be like, dude, why the fudge do I feel like shit all the time? And it's because, like, I'm. It's not exaggerating. And it's not even on some, like, Ed shit where I was like, I can't eat.

[Enya]

No, it's literally just because you like it.

[Drew]

It was. I was gluttonous, and I was giving my body what my brain wanted, not what it needed. And I. I'd have no idea how I'm still alive. And I'm always like, why am I so constipated? It's because I ruined my body for four years. I ruined.

[Enya]

Yeah, because before we moved in together, I feel like you used to eat good. Oh, but that you always eat better when you live with your parents, because, like, your parents are like, let's go eat. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And, like, also when we Were in tour, it was like, different because it was like we were. We were like, being given food. So, like, you. You were getting food, but it literally was like you were like. The classic case of like, man lives on his own is like, huh, huh, huh, bro.

[Drew]

What? I have to feed myself. What the fuck?

[Enya]

What. How am I even supposed to do. How am I supposed to buy food three times a day?

[Drew]

But, like, actually, that is something I've been thinking about a lot is like, how the do people eat three times a day? Like, it is hard for me to do. I've been doing it lately and it is actually really difficult. And I don't get how people are supposed to do that. And I think that's just big food planting these little eyes in our head. Just like Big milk told us. Everybody need big milk. Everybody needed milk, girl. No, the. We don't. We do not need calories.

[Enya]

Yeah. Also, everybody, like, eats so differently. Like, some people, like, that's like a. For the. Who are waking up at 6:00am Go ahead and have your three meals straight up. Miss, like, you literally have so much time to. If I was waking up at 6am I'd have four meals just to have something.

[Drew]

Do you think you can get monkeypox from the gym?

[Enya]

That's. I'm not kidding. I was thinking about that last night because of, like, sweat and, like, the steam room and like, things like that. I was like, thinking about that.

[Drew]

Gross. I need the monkeypox vaccine.

[Enya]

I think. I think I can give it to you. I. I'll make a concoction and I'll just make a holistic concoction.

[Drew]

You make something up. Yeah, I'll make some. I'll get something, right?

[Enya]

Oh, I'll get you something. All right.

[Drew]

Well, did you hear that?

[Enya]

No. Did you hit your head?

[Drew]

No, it just almost broke. I, like, leaned back on it and it just like, I thought you did.

[Enya]

The thing where you embarrassed yourself by, like, hitting your head and you're like, oh, my God. Did you, like, hear that?

[Drew]

It is kind of that.

[Enya]

Can I live? Oh, my God. All right, well, that's it for the most foul episode yet.

[Drew]

Because Kai was in a bad mood the whole time.

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

He didn't even care what I cared.

[Kai]

I was taking notes the whole time. Sometimes my depression just flares up.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. Did we ask, though? Like, let's. Let's be real.

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Are you okay?

[Kai]

You guys didn't ask. I'm okay, Kai. Honestly, I think I got three hours of sleep last night. Oh, yeah.

[Enya]

What time did you sleep?

[Kai]

I got in bed at, like, midnight, and then I just kept waking up with my heart racing.

[Drew]

That's the worst vibe ever.

[Kai]

Yeah. Just freaking out.

[Drew]

That sucks.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya]

You should take, like, a chill pill or something.

[Kai]

Those aren't real. Oh. Actually, I feel like a Xanax is probably.

[Enya]

Yeah, that's a chill pill. We just need to. To change the verb. The verbiage of that. It's a chill pill. Take some plan B. I actually do think I'm gonna start taking, like, six CBD gummies, like, around with me, because the way I freak out and explode things in my brain recently is actually, like, becoming a problem. Like, the simplest issues sends me on the craziest spiral, and I am like a. And evil and crazy to everybody in my vicinity because I'm freaking out and genuinely, like, I'm like, oh, my God, there's. There's a solution. But I can't think of it because I'm too busy thinking about all the, like, bad things that could happen if I don't come to a. A solution. And then people around me are trying to help me, and I'm like, no, you don't understand. You literally cannot help me because you don't know what, like, what's happening to me right now. And then 20 minutes later, I'm like, oh, my God, I was a little crazy just now. Huh?

[Drew]

Well, you just need to take a chill pill.

[Enya]

Yeah. But not actually, like, I. I don't want to be medicated for that feeling. I just want to, like, drink, fix it. Yeah, I just want to not do that. Like, I don't want to have to take medication for being, like, an anxiety ridden crazy girl recently. So I think I'm going to start drinking those. Like, what are they? Like, the mad, tasty CBD drinks? I'm going to start drinking those.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Oh, Slay Merch is shipping out today.

[Enya]

What's your media of the week? Oh, my media of the week is the rehearsal by Nathan Fielder. Yes.

[Drew]

So good.

[Enya]

He's crazy. Crazy. He's so good at what he does. That's it for the comp.

[Drew]

Why everybody dick writing for him, bro? He's not even that good.

[Enya]

And then my media of the week is there's just two new albums, Beatopia and Gemini Rights. Those are, like, the albums I've been, like, throwing on. And then I have, like, a few other things that I will be continuing to gatekeep, because that's what I do, and I still don't care. And you can't make Me not.

[Drew]

I have one song from Media of the Week, and it's Ain't Nobody Straight in la.

[Enya]

Oh, ain't Nobody Straight in la. This was my media a long time ago, so.

[Drew]

Ain't Nobody Straight in la.

[Enya]

It's true.

[Drew]

It's real. As. Except for me.

[Enya]

Okay. I mean, like, are you.

[Drew]

Sex on the beach by DJ Assault?

[Enya]

Are you serious?

[Drew]

Mystery of Love by I Don't know how to say His Name. And Stevens, you are not straight.

[Enya]

You. Hey, come here. Come here.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, I didn't get Kai's gig.

[Enya]

Why'd you.

[Drew]

Okay, so, Kai, you know how you came to me and you were like, okay, we need to nip the rumors, the short rumors in the bud, right?

[Kai]

Oh, no.

[Enya]

Which. I mean, like, calling. Calling something that you're insecure about a rumor is a really good way to deflect. Like, I will give that to you.

[Kai]

You have no idea. I'll get any comment that I've gotten. The last week has just helped.

[Drew]

Okay, well, he's five two, right?

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So.

[Enya]

And a half. And a half. And a half.

[Drew]

So I got you something off Amazon to make you feel a little bit better about it.

[Enya]

Because we care. Because we care.

[Drew]

Yes, we care.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Josiah]

All right.

[Enya]

And we feel bad for telling the truth.

[Drew]

Insoles that you put in your new sneakers.

[Kai]

No, I don't need those.

[Drew]

That make you grow by about 4 inches.

[Enya]

Come on, Kai.

[Drew]

Look, you put them on, and you put this inside your sneaker. Look.

[Enya]

And you'll be so tall.

[Drew]

And then it boosts you up and it gives you.

[Enya]

And then you'll be a solid, like, five.

[Kai]

Okay, if I were five.

[Drew]

Four.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So you. Kai is taller than me, y' all.

[Kai]

Why did you buy those? Are those.

[Enya]

Actually, Kai is taller than Drew. In theory.

[Drew]

I bought them for you. I actually want to see if they work.

[Kai]

My shoes are over there.

[Drew]

I'll go grab them.

[Enya]

Kai, the thing is, what you lack in height, you make up for in personality.

[Kai]

Okay, but I don't lack anything in height. I'm objectively.

[Enya]

So you go from, like, five foot two and a half, and then with your personality, you get to, like, a 5.4 and 1/3.

[Drew]

These are heavy shoes.

[Enya]

Okay.

[Josiah]

Are you guys done?

[Drew]

No, no. Yeah, yeah. The. Is that to make you taller? Yeah, there's even more. I know.

[Josiah]

I heard it right by your door.

[Drew]

3.

[Enya]

Oh, Drew walked over there.

[Drew]

Look, you can put a couple more. Should we put one more each?

[Enya]

No, let's just do that. We don't want them to get too tall because it'll be like.

[Drew]

It'll like shock you of your shoe as well.

[Kai]

Okay, let me try this.

[Enya]

Okay, Kai, no, you need to loosen them because your foot isn't in your shoe. It's freaking me out. Wait, is your foot in your shoe? Get your stinky ass foot out of there. It's in there.

[Drew]

Oh, it was fully in. These are crazy.

[Enya]

Well, I mean. Okay, do you want to be.

[Drew]

Wait, no, we need to do. We need to measure you before and then measure you after. After.

[Enya]

Well, we don't have a measuring tape.

[Drew]

We'll use my penis cuz it's four feet tall.

[Kai]

Your penis is not four feet tall.

[Enya]

Yeah, and you're not.

[Drew]

I want people to say that. Kai, you know the truth.

[Kai]

So you're saying that when we had.

[Enya]

This is crazy that your foot was in there. I thought your foot wasn't in there.

[Drew]

Like, what shoes are these made for? I don't know. What do you. What. Where. Who. What shoes are these made for?

[Kai]

Like boots or something?

[Enya]

You can. But it's so you wear jeans with it.

[Kai]

Is this obvious?

[Drew]

Wait, it does make you taller though. Wow. It's actually like almost unnoticeable.

[Enya]

Wait, turn to the side.

[Drew]

Wait, why are you actually so tall now?

[Enya]

Wait, it works.

[Drew]

He's actually so tall now.

[Enya]

Holy.

[Drew]

I don't like standing next to you like that.

[Kai]

But if I was five. Five.

[Drew]

Well, no, they'll give you like a.

[Enya]

Foot and a half.

[Drew]

Okay, well, now you're like 6:1 with those in like. Yeah, they're.

[Enya]

They give you like a. I'm sure.

[Kai]

That the viewers will see it and they'll be like, he's not 5 5. He's normal size. And now he thinks he's 3.

[Enya]

W. Don't. Don't assume what our girls are going.

[Josiah]

To think about you.

[Drew]

Wait, why does Kai kind of love them?

[Enya]

I know.

[Kai]

It would be so nice to be this tall.

[Drew]

Does it feel weird? Can I try?

[Enya]

What?

[Kai]

This is like an inch taller than me.

[Drew]

Does it feel weird like their feet are gonna fly out or do they kind of work?

[Enya]

Zamar, this tall.

[Kai]

Zamar's like taller than this, I think.

[Drew]

Yeah, he's taller. Yeah, he's huge.

[Enya]

Now we're just playing.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Kai]

Going to the club and hitting on girls.

[Drew]

And you're still.

[Enya]

I know. And getting home and taking your heels off, basically.

[Drew]

We're normally at eyeline.

[Kai]

Yeah. Also if we're at eyeline.

[Enya]

Well, because. Because you chronically stand on your toes, which is why we got this for you.

[Drew]

You have stilts on.

[Enya]

Because we Feel bad because you're gonna get arthritis in those toes if you don. Stop, like, stepping on it.

[Drew]

And you have the world's largest calves. It's crazy. You have big calves, honestly.

[Kai]

Thank you. Everyone makes fun of my legs. Honestly.

[Enya]

Kai, you are serving today, but it's probably because you.

[Drew]

Have you been working out?

[Kai]

Have I?

[Drew]

Yeah. Because when you walked in, I was like, you're, like, big right now. Well, you look good today wearing your heels.

[Enya]

Back to the. To the computer.

[Drew]

Click, Pause.

[Enya]

All right, well, thank you guys so much for watching. I hope you have a beautiful day. Should we rub noses? A little Eskimo kiss? No, I, like, couldn't get also that video that it's like, looks like me and Drew are kissing. Israel is real. And before we did that, he ate a handful of Doritos and he smelled so gross, and I couldn't believe he did that.

[Drew]

I. I ate Doritos. And then we fake kissed, and he was like, did you eat?

[Enya]

Because I was laughing while we were doing it, and we were just, like, looking at each other and laughing, and I was like, he smells.

[Drew]

At least. At least it wasn't garlic.

[Enya]

It's. I would argue that this. The artificial smell of cheese Doritos is worse than garlic.

[Drew]

Cheesy breath. Cheesy rest.

[Enya]

All right. Thank you so much, baby.

[Drew]

Thank you.

[Enya]

So me and you have to go because I have to oil up his breasts and rub my. My clitoris against his nipple.

[Drew]

No. You're going to milk me.

[Enya]

Yeah. With my vulva.

[Drew]

Yes, you.

[Enya]

Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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