Emergency Intercom

Episode: “Drew was at Charli xcx's wedding”

Date: October 15, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Guest(s): Kai (frequent contributor), possible cameo by Benny Drama or Mary Beth Barone

Brief Overview

This episode is a quintessential Emergency Intercom experience—rambly, irreverent, and laced with digressions as the hosts and their friends veer from stories of homophobic run-ins, furry culture, and nostalgia for childhood mall staples, to inside gossip about SNL, Charli XCX’s wedding, and celebrity encounters. The episode is thick with Gen Z/LGBTQ+ humor, reflective observations, and a few surrealist tangents, but circling around big recent social moments in the hosts’ lives—especially Drew’s experience at Charli XCX’s wedding.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Shock Collars, Dog Necks, and Insecurities

• Opening banter about shock collars—both for dogs and jokingly, for podcast hosts.
• A brief discussion on neck size, clothing insecurities, and turtleneck-wearers.
  • Notable quote:
    “Very rarely has, like, my neck made me insecure. The only thing I’m just, okay...” — Drew (04:30)

2. Catalina Island Saga: Gay Safe Spaces, Homophobia, and Revenge

• Kai describes a weekend getaway with friends to Catalina Island.
  • The group finds both community (a queer-friendly environment) and tension (a homophobic man in a bar).
• Bar traditions, Jell-O shot mishaps, and a run-in with an antagonistic local in a red hoodie.
  • Defusing hostility: Kai responds to harassment by spending $20 to queue Taylor Swift and Death Grips on the jukebox—clearing out the bar.
    • “I went to the jukebox and I put $20 in and I bought Taylor Swift’s whole album, and I played it on repeat over and over. And then I bought Death Grips' whole album… So I got my lick back.” — Kai (09:02)
• Group jokes darkly about “luring the guy behind the bar and stabbing him”; veers into Shakespeare ("Et tu, Brute?") jokes.
• Broader point: Navigating public homophobia with humor, camaraderie, and subversive retaliation.

3. School Nostalgia, Performers, and Drag Queens

• The group reminisces about strange corporate/celebrity school visits, including Wale performing at elementary pep rallies.
• Shemar Moore and modern social media celebrity school tours, school security, and the spectacle of kids’ reactions.
• Contrast between drag queen library readings and celebrity encounters in schools— Kai jokes about teetering between “QAnon” brain and loving chaos.

4. Pirate Fest, Mermaid Fest & Party Subcultures

• Kai returns to their time on Catalina, discovering Pirate Fest is a massive swinger convention—allegations of rampant sexual assault.
  • “Found out that it’s just a big swinger convention. They all bang each other…there was a line of people waiting to talk to cops for sexual assault cases.” — Kai (15:19)
• Mermaid Fest is framed as much more wholesome.
• Extended tangent on mermen fantasy—should the hosts attend as “the only mermen,” abs out.
• The furry/cosplay "pipeline": discussion moves into subcultures’ unity and creativity, as well as the limits of furry culture (inflatable suits, zippers, latex, infantilization).

5. Gay Solidarity, Dualities, and Food Service

• Anecdote about receiving preferential service from a gay employee at Chipotle; discussion about the unspoken camaraderie among marginalized groups.
  • “That’s the sweet thing about—actually, that’s the only benefit to so many groups being hated on all the time and marginalized. They look out for each other.” — Drew (18:27)
• Followed by playful arguments about food safety, wooden vs. plastic utensils, and the horrors of E.Coli.

6. Hermit Crab Store, Mall Nostalgia, and the Starter Pet Culture

• Reminiscing about mall “Earthbound” stores and their inhumanely treated painted hermit crabs.
  • “Who. If you get reincarnated as a hermit crab, like, you did some really…” — Drew (36:10)
• Light debate about the ethics of childhood pets and the sanitized cruelty of mall retail culture.

7. Weird Adult Tangents: Vapes, Coca-Cola Freestyle Machines, and Microplastics

• Kai shows off a “vape with a squishy on it and a screen,” Drew is grossed out back to using a Juul.
• Kai describes seeing Casper’s 30th anniversary at the theater, finding machine parts in their AMC Coke Freestyle soda days later.
  • “There is, like, Coca-Cola freestyle giant machine parts, inside my soda. Like, giant, y’all, like, this big. And I was just sipping on macro plastics.” — Kai (48:28)

8. Phlebotomist Pipeline, Celiac Skepticism, and Childhood Medical Trauma

• Extended joke about the “Cookie Monster PJs to phlebotomist pipeline.”
• Rant about how most people who claim celiac disease are “just lying”—with playful flip-flopping and self-diagnosis.
  • “This is the second time this year you’ve said some anti-celiac disease rhetoric. And I’m really curious where this all stems from.” — Drew (33:57)
• Segues into mall childhood memory tangent.

9. Charli XCX’s Wedding, SNL Stories, and Cultural ‘FOMO’

• The centerpiece: Drew’s experience at Charli XCX’s wedding.
  • Drew narrates anxieties about being “seen” and not wanting it to seem like he was there for clout:
    • “I didn’t want to be seen at Charlie’s wedding because I didn’t want it to be, like, one of these situations where it was like, oh, Drew wants to be seen at Charlie’s wedding so bad…” — Drew (67:48)
  • Wild asides: claims about firework displays, Young Lean performing, TikTokers, and all manner of celebrity guests.
  • FOMO is mutual— Kai says attending the wedding was “the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.” (66:59)
• SNL afterparty stories from the guest, meeting Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers, Troy Sivan, and more.
  • “It was a movie. It was extremely cinematic…” — Friend (possibly Benny Drama or Marybeth Barone) (60:21)
  • Notable encounter: making a joke about leg-lengthening surgery to Vince Vaughn.

10. Charli XCX’s ‘Brat’ Era and the State of Pop Culture

• Commentary on Charli’s perfect Brat album rollout and what it says about current pop practices:
  • "Every single move Charlie made in the rollout for Brat was the right move...like reposting tiktokers, getting close to the real tastemakers and culture creators." — Kai (70:37)
• Larger point about how today’s artists’ references are too narrow; Charli’s broad influences are “mad weird"—but refreshing.

11. Micro-Communities, Furry Fans, and Inclusivity

• Comparison between furries, AJR and Imagine Dragons fans, and other subcultural “freaks and geeks.”
  • “What is the real difference between making fun of a furry versus making fun of an AJR or Imagine Dragons fan? Those are the same people, two sides of the same coin.” — Drew (73:11)

12. Physical Insecurities, Genetic Jokes, and Parenting Styles

• Playful round-robin giving each other insincere physical compliments.
• Joke about Drew carrying Kai’s baby at age 35—then deconstructing why they'd be bad co-parents.

13. Media Recommendations

• Songs:
  • “Bless the Telephone” by Labi Siffre
  • “Different Drum” by Stone Poneys
  • “On and On” by Stephen Bishop
  • “Make It Easy on Yourself” by The Walker Brothers
  • “Strangers by Nature” by Adele (Kai)
• Shows:
  • Abbott Elementary (Drew just catching up on it—a “so fucking funny” show)
• Movies:
  • Twinless (praised, plot twist 20 minutes in)
• Random capstone: Kai wants to see Dylan O’Brien give a “twink back shot.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On fighting homophobia with camp:
  “I went to the jukebox and I put $20 in and I bought Taylor Swift’s whole album… So I got my lick back.” — Kai (09:02)

• On marginalized group solidarity:
  “That’s the only benefit to so many groups being hated on all the time and marginalized. They look out for each other.” — Drew (18:27)

• On Charli XCX's wedding:
  “I didn’t want to be seen at Charlie’s wedding because I didn’t want it to be… Drew wants to be seen at Charlie’s wedding so bad.” — Drew (67:48) “The Charlie wedding was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.” — Kai (66:59)

• On pop culture cycles:
  “Every single move Charlie made in the rollout for Brat was the right move…reposting tiktokers, getting close to the real tastemakers and culture creators.” — Kai (70:37)

• On subcultural micro-communities:
  “It’s either AJR or school shooters…what is the real difference between making fun of a furry versus making fun of an AJR or Imagine Dragons fan? Those are two of the same people.” — Drew (73:11)

Highlighted Timestamps

• [09:02] Kai jukebox revenge in Catalina — using music to fight off a homophobic dude.
• [33:57] Anti-celiac disease rhetoric — Drew teases Kai’s ongoing skepticism, a running joke.
• [60:21] SNL story kicks off — Friend describes the SNL taping and afterparty.
• [66:59] Kai’s recap: Charli XCX wedding = life highlight.
• [70:37] Breakdown of Charli’s ‘Brat’ era genius.
• [73:11] The “furry vs. Imagine Dragons fan” equivalency.

Conclusion

• This episode is a dense soup of stories, callbacks, self-roasts, niche subculture breakdowns, and pop culture analysis. Standout moments revolve around navigating queer nightlife, the shock of being “insider” enough for events like Charli XCX’s wedding, and reflecting on the joy and anxiety of belonging (or being excluded) in micro-communities. In classic Emergency Intercom style, it’s as much about the digression as any plot—a candid mix of inside jokes, queer wit, and genuine insight into pop’s oddest fringes.

For those who haven’t listened: Expect a chaotic, sometimes moving, very online comedy session with serious alt-pop credentials, bracing honesty, and endless zingers about the joy and mortification of being seen (or unseen) in today’s world.