Drew’s Hat of Terror

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Drew’s Hat of Terror"

Release Date: September 2, 2022
Hosts: Enya Umanzor, Drew Phillips, and Kai
Podcast: Emergency Intercom by iHeartPodcasts

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1. Opening Banter and Host Dynamics

The episode kicks off with a humorous exchange between Drew Phillips and Enya Umanzor, setting the tone for the lively and irreverent nature of the podcast.

• [00:20] Enya Umanzor: “You have to look me in the eyes. Why aren't you looking me in the eyes?”
• [00:23] Drew Phillips: “Because I don't like looking at people in the eyes.”

This playful back-and-forth establishes the hosts' chemistry and their penchant for teasing each other throughout the episode.

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2. Recounting Last Night: The Photo Booth Adventure

The hosts delve into a narrative recounting of their previous night's escapades, blending humor with exaggerated storytelling.

• [03:00] Enya Umanzor: “Should we talk about what happened last night and how I saved your life?”
• [03:05] Drew Phillips: “What happened last night?”

a. The Photo Booth Visit

Enya shares her desire to visit a photo booth, leading to an emotional public cry—a moment that Drew surprisingly finds both beautiful and indicative of their ages.

• [04:20] Enya Umanzor: “I cried. Yes, I cried in public. I love doing it.”
• [05:00] Drew Phillips: “...the most beautiful, graceful cry I've ever seen in my entire life.”

b. Encounter with the Man on the Bike

Their evening takes a dramatic turn when they encounter a distressed man covered in blood and on a city bike, leading to tension and comedic frustration.

• [09:01] Enya Umanzor: “That was someone who was probably going to murder us.”
• [13:10] Drew Phillips: “We get in our Uber and we see his bike is parked in the middle of the road where we were.”

Notable Quote:
[10:19] Enya Umanzor: “And also covered in fucking blood.”

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3. Fashion Fiasco: Drew’s Infamous Hat

A significant portion of the episode humorously revolves around Drew's peculiar hat, which becomes a focal point for teasing and playful insults.

• [24:58] Drew Phillips: “You're welcome.”
• [25:10] Enya Umanzor: “Is this one real, though? Because I know the other one was really fake.”

Notable Quotes:
[41:04] Drew Phillips: “Why do you think I wear this hat? It's because it's hard for my hat.”
[56:07] Enya Umanzor: “It smells like Drew, shut the hell up.”

The hat becomes a symbol of Drew's unique style, sparking debates about fashion choices and gendered clothing norms.

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4. Humorous Interactions and Physical Comedy

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in light-hearted physical comedy and mock confrontations, adding to the dynamic and entertaining atmosphere.

• [28:56] Enya Umanzor: “Wait, can you hit that?”
  [28:58] Enya Umanzor: “I feel like I need to direction. Unpack my butthole.”

Notable Quote:
[29:05] Enya Umanzor: “So we were sitting in there, and I have to, like, close the blinds because the sun is, like, in your face.”

These interactions showcase the hosts' ability to maintain a comedic flow while navigating through various topics.

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5. Media of the Week: Shake Shack and Spotify Woes

The hosts transition into discussing popular media topics, including their frustrations with service deliveries and personal setbacks with digital platforms.

a. Shake Shack Delivery Complaints

• [57:05] Enya Umanzor: “Like, you're going to get a virus. Like, immediately.”

Enya criticizes the mishandling of orders, particularly the spilling of drinks and inconsistencies in food quality.

b. Drew’s Spotify Account Deletion

Drew shares his disappointment over his Spotify account being banned, lamenting the loss of his personal music library.

• [18:30] Drew Phillips: “My account was, like, gone.”

Notable Quote:
[19:31] Enya Umanzor: “I wish, we are going to spend the rest of our life being, like, we're going to go do that and then not doing it because we're just, like, caught up.”

This segment highlights personal frustrations and serves as a relatable topic for many listeners.

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6. Personal Stories and Absurd Humor

The conversation takes a turn towards sharing personal anecdotes infused with absurd and over-the-top humor, reflecting the podcast's comedic essence.

• [38:20] Drew Phillips: “My suicide manifests itself as, like, running away. Running away and camping.”

Notable Interactions:
[45:22] Drew Phillips: “I am the final, like, four millennial in this hat.”
[57:05] Enya Umanzor: “I'm gonna put it on, like, a blanket, and I'm gonna sell it.”

These exchanges emphasize the hosts' knack for blending serious topics with humor, creating an engaging and unpredictable narrative.

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Exchanges

As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue their signature style of banter, wrapping up with more jokes and light-hearted insults.

• [61:15] Enya Umanzor: “All right, let's get on to some media...”

Final Notable Quote:
[64:29] Enya Umanzor: “But you hate me.”

The episode concludes without a conventional closing, maintaining the open and conversational feel that defines "Emergency Intercom."

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Conclusion

"Drew’s Hat of Terror" exemplifies the zany and unfiltered humor that "Emergency Intercom" is known for. Through a blend of personal anecdotes, playful insults, and absurd scenarios, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips create an entertaining narrative that keeps listeners engaged from start to finish. The episode balances moments of genuine storytelling with relentless humor, making it both relatable and hilariously unpredictable.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [00:20] Enya: “You have to look me in the eyes. Why aren't you looking me in the eyes?”
• [04:30] Drew: “Before we get into it, I will say India, that night I was...”
• [10:19] Enya: “And also covered in fucking blood.”
• [24:58] Drew: “You're welcome.”
• [41:04] Drew: “Why do you think I wear this hat? It's because it's hard for my hat.”
• [18:30] Drew: “My account was, like, gone.”
• [38:20] Drew: “My suicide manifests itself as, like, running away. Running away and camping.”
• [64:29] Enya: “But you hate me.”

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor, personal storytelling, and the hosts' dynamic interactions.

Transcript

[Drew Phillips]

Welcome back.

[Enya Umanzor]

You have to look me in the eyes. Why aren't you looking me in the eyes?

[Drew Phillips]

Because I don't like looking at people in the eyes.

[Enya Umanzor]

Look me in my eyes.

[Drew Phillips]

Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Interview.

[Enya Umanzor]

We said it wrong. Look. You see? It's cuz you're not looking.

[Drew Phillips]

That's not wrong.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's welcome to this episode. We said welcome back by accident. Oh, look.

[Drew Phillips]

Welcome.

[Enya Umanzor]

Look me in the eyes. Drew, you're scared of me.

[Drew Phillips]

You're so scared.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's going to be one of the things people click when they're like, I just can't believe she would do that to him.

[Drew Phillips]

His trauma is so unnoticed.

[Enya Umanzor]

His trauma is overlooked.

[Drew Phillips]

It's crazy how my trauma is literally overlooked.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's not my fault you're a whole, but you do that to yourself. Why am I. Am I wrong?

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, it's just. It really is hard for me to exist on this platform with two people who treat me like fucking garbage and don't take into account that I am human.

[Kai]

We treat you super well.

[Enya Umanzor]

I knew you were a human whole. I didn't think you were.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm a garbage disposal.

[Enya Umanzor]

Disposal. You're the only person who says that word like that.

[Drew Phillips]

Because it's the right way to say.

[Enya Umanzor]

It is, I think.

[Drew Phillips]

It's just we've had this. It's. It. We've had this conversation before, but it's. It's spelled garbage dispose. All. Like you're disposing everything.

[Enya Umanzor]

Is that right?

[Drew Phillips]

Everybody says garbage disposal. But what if. What the Is a disposal?

[Enya Umanzor]

It's the thing pronunciation. Let's see.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, turn it up. Garbage disposal.

[Enya Umanzor]

Exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, you are not saying that, bitch.

[Kai]

Wait, wait, wait. Drew, say it.

[Drew Phillips]

Garbage disposal.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, you. Oh, so you're like. You're gaslighting me. That is not how you were saying.

[Drew Phillips]

It's disposal.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's how you were saying.

[Kai]

I feel like you were saying it different before.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, you were saying, gar.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like both of y' all should kill yourselves. I don't know how many times I have to say it. It's like, just do it, please. We're begging. Everybody's begging. All of the people are begging. They want it really bad.

[Kai]

I'll actually do it.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, that's okay. Like, yeah, we. Like, baby, yeah.

[Kai]

I'll do anything you want. I literally do whatever you want me to do.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'm gonna be honest. I don't know if that many people will be like that sad about it, but. But, like, him saying it to me is A big deal.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom. I'm Drew Phillips. I'm Enya Umanzor and this is our podcast.

[Enya Umanzor]

And here we have fun. We let loose.

[Drew Phillips]

We just say what we want to say.

[Enya Umanzor]

We say what's at the top of our brains. Should we talk about what happened last night and how I saved your life?

[Drew Phillips]

What happened last night?

[Enya Umanzor]

Hello, me.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, the mass attack.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, the massive attack we went out for.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I wouldn't say you saved my life.

[Enya Umanzor]

I saved.

[Drew Phillips]

I'd say you were quick on your feet and that you saved your life. I. I had the situation under control, but you butted in and then you saved my life in turn.

[Enya Umanzor]

So without me, you would be dead. Probably. I think someone argue. Yes, but. So last night we got home and we were so tired, but I was like, you know what? I've been wanting to go to this photo booth because this one person made up this thing where it was like going to photo booths. Have you. Do you know what that is? Do you know what a photo booth is?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, well, I just like learned what it was. But before I explain what it is to you, because I still.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, wait, Brian, he invented the photo booth. I forgot he invented that. Wow. So he was the first person to do that.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. So like, he, like. I don't know how to explain it. He like. I don't even know how he made the machine, but someone else made a machine and I know where a machine is. So I was like, I'm gonna go to the machines because now they're like widely available. Post that. So I wanted to go to like this one spot we go to. That's cute. Because I had a lot to get off my chest to my girl. So I was like, let's go.

[Drew Phillips]

And like, we literally had a key.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. I was like, we need to go somewhere. And like, I need to like, express myself on a deep level. So we went and I cried. Yes, I cried in public. I love doing it.

[Drew Phillips]

Before we get into it, I will say India, that night I was. I'm not even just saying this. I was literally like taken aback by your beauty in that room. And I'm not even just saying that. Like, I literally there. I caught myself in moments when you were like telling you telling us what you were telling us, like, where I was like, holy shit. Like, you are like a gorgeous person. And then I also had a moment where I saw you and I was like, holy shit, we are 20 something year olds. Like, we're old as fuck. And then on top of all of that, you had the most beautiful, graceful cry I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Enya Umanzor]

Thank you. I wish. You know what it is? My best lighting is dim lighting. That's what it is. Like, my best lighting is, like, a bar lighting where it's, like, kind of dim and then there's, like, just enough light to, like, light my face, but not, like, with an orange hue. Like, ambient lighting is my most flattering light.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, girl, turn out the lights.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. Like, I look my best when you can kind of barely see me. And everybody has a drink in them.

[Drew Phillips]

And they're like, squint, and it's really loud.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay, now you're, like, going.

[Drew Phillips]

And you, like, can't see anything. That's your best.

[Enya Umanzor]

And because of how loud it is, it's messing with your other senses, like, your vision. So you're just seeing things, like, more.

[Drew Phillips]

Beautifully because, like, you know, like, how you have to turn down the radio to, like, listen to directions. That's what it's like. Like listening to loud music, it's hard to hear a conversation.

[Kai]

Don't look at me right now. When you say that. You look looking directly into my eyes. Freaking me out.

[Enya Umanzor]

You know? I don't like you. I don't like you.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. See, See, See?

[Enya Umanzor]

So we were at this. I'm, like, scared of my whole coochie coming out, and I have my feet on the sofa.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know where I've been looking this entire time. I think I've been looking into the lens.

[Enya Umanzor]

So whatever. We were there. We, like, had this, like, moment.

[Drew Phillips]

We didn't do the hat bit.

[Enya Umanzor]

It was sweet. It's not too late. Well, you called it out now, so, like, whoa. The way you're sitting is crazy. Anyway, so we went here. It was nice. Then we, like, left, and me and Elsie were like, we want something sweet. Like, maybe we get a little candy.

[Drew Phillips]

The sweet in question, British poppers. That's the sweets in question. British. British branded poppers. I've never seen that in my entire life. And you, that's what you got?

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, because I take risks.

[Kai]

How are those different than, like, normal American?

[Drew Phillips]

Way more potent.

[Enya Umanzor]

What's different is that a human probably shouldn't be putting that to their nose. Like, it literally, it felt like if I went straight up to a.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, try.

[Enya Umanzor]

Like if I went to a gas nozzle and started pouring gas on the floor and put my nose right to the stream, and some of it got up my nose.

[Drew Phillips]

If you don't snip Those poppers right now.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God. You can't make him do drugs. Like, it's literally, like, 4:00pm I don't give a.

[Drew Phillips]

We run this company different.

[Enya Umanzor]

We're gonna get in trouble.

[Drew Phillips]

Sniff the poppers.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, no, don't actually. Please don't do it.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't do it, because you will pass.

[Enya Umanzor]

You will actually pass away.

[Kai]

How big would it get? How sticky would it get?

[Enya Umanzor]

Your hole. Yeah, we're recording this.

[Kai]

Oh, this is. We started.

[Enya Umanzor]

You're not. I hope you're happy that this will be your last job that you will be able to get, because I don't know where else you're going to take this resume.

[Kai]

I know.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's the crazy thing. Like, what a resume.

[Kai]

Like, I've actually thought about that. If I ever had to, like, apply to LinkedIn again, they'd be like, all right, we're just going to, like, check in on what he's been up to. And I'm just, like, talking about making boba and doing poppers.

[Enya Umanzor]

Good. Bitch. I hope. I hope you never work another day in this town. What was I talking about?

[Kai]

Makes sense.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay, so we left this bar, we go around the corner, and we go to this deli. Because on. While we were walking past it, the tiniest fucking baby kittens were in there. They should not have been in there because they were also on the floor.

[Drew Phillips]

Young. They were like the smallest little baby kittens ever.

[Enya Umanzor]

Will Insert. They were so cute. And we were just hanging out in there, petting these kittens. It was the best time ever. And then, yes, something was purchased. Something sweet was purchased. And then. But on our way out, we were, like, walking out. And by this point, I was the only one who had, like. I had, like, two and a half drinks. It wasn't even the full three because I was, like, splitting one of them, but I had almost, like, three drinks, so I was, like, feeling myself. I was a little.

[Drew Phillips]

I drank water. Yeah, I drank a cup of water.

[Enya Umanzor]

Because he's a loser.

[Drew Phillips]

Because I take care of myself. And I love my body.

[Enya Umanzor]

Do you, though?

[Drew Phillips]

No, I hate my body. I hate. I love that. My body. I hate my body.

[Enya Umanzor]

The girls with the guns. That's like the best vine ever. Okay, so we, like, walk out, and this man comes up to us with a city bike. He's like, rolling a city bike. And he comes up to us and he is covered in blood.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. He came up to us and we were like. I saw. I spotted him from across the way and I was like, oh, like, he's probably lost and needs help. He's, like, shirtless and sweaty. And I was like, okay. My. Like, my instincts were telling me, like, okay, be careful here. He came up, and we. I. We saw, like, this down his neck, and we were all like, what the is that in our heads? And then we looked up at his forehead, and, like, his entire forehead was, like, gashed open, and he was bleeding, and he was sweaty, and he had, like, cuts everywhere, and we were like.

[Enya Umanzor]

And he looked, like, peeking on adrenaline.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, he was.

[Enya Umanzor]

Other than whatever else was in his system. Like, he looked, like, ready to go.

[Drew Phillips]

Every fiber in my being was like, please don't come up to us. And, like, we had locked eyes when he was across the street, and I knew he was going to come up to us, and he did. He came up to us, and my fight or flight, like, immediately kicked in. Like, I had so much adrenaline. I was like, I'm about to have to, like, beat this fucking dude up or some shit. I didn't know what the fuck was gonna happen because, like, he was obviously, like, on something not in the right state. Yeah. And, like.

[Enya Umanzor]

And also covered in fucking blood.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. So, like, yeah, of course. My brain was like, okay, we're gonna have to figure this shit out. But then he's. He asked us something like, do you know which way's Brooklyn? And, like, also, we were in Brooklyn stuttering like crazy. Like, it was, like, the worst performance ever. I was like. And then Enya steps in, and then.

[Enya Umanzor]

I was just like. I, like, wasn't really assessing. I, like, obviously, I was like, oh, he's covered in blood. How odd. But because I was, like, just kind of drunk, I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry we're not from here. And I. I couldn't even tell you where we are right now. Like, I, like, said something like that to him. I don't know what I said, but I was just like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. We're not from here. And then he was like, okay. And I was. I don't even know if I made any other comment. We're like, okay. I was just like, okay. And then we just kept walking, and.

[Drew Phillips]

He kind of just walked away. I got out of there immediately. I was like, fuck this. Y' all, for some reason, started, like, kind of loitering, and I was like, we got to go.

[Enya Umanzor]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

And I started walking across the street, and then you started walking the other way. Y' all started walking with me. And then y' all turned around and walked back towards them and then walked the other way. And. And then y' all were like, no.

[Enya Umanzor]

We didn't walk back towards him. As we were crossing. As. As we were crossing, the light had changed, and a man behind the man who was at the front of, like, the line of cars honked, and me and Elsie were like, oh, this light just changed. And now we're in the middle of the street. So that's why we turned, and then we just walked the other way because the guy was starting to honk. And in my head, I was like, I don't want these start honking. And this crazy is like, who's honking at me?

[Drew Phillips]

So that's why you just keep watching. Ignore the honking. Keep walking.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, I fucking lived, and I saved your life, and there should be a little bit more respect. You know what? Next time, I'll let you stutter your way into a stabbing.

[Drew Phillips]

Next time, I'm going to get stabbed in front of you, and it's going to change the trajectory of your life forever.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. Because I'm about to get hell of use and post that shit on the podcast, and I'm going to pull up to the hospital you're being held in and put the mic, like, you're going to be, like, laying down because you're, like, so, like, wounded. I'm going to lay the mic next to your head and then keep talking on the podcast. But we, like, just went down, and we were sitting at this booth, and, like, Drew was like, is he there? Is he there? And I was like, dude, like, he's down the street, but I think he's, like, just off of us. Because I was like, oh. I think because I spoke to him like a normal human. He just was like, you passed. Like, that's what it felt like. It literally felt like, okay, you passed.

[Kai]

And, like, it.

[Enya Umanzor]

It just felt like we were on, like, what would you do? And. Because we just treated it normally and moved on, he just, like, moved off of us, and he was just, like, loitering in front of the deli. We were by, and we were like, okay, we need to call a car and just, like, get out of here. So, like, Drew called an Uber, and we're, like, sitting there waiting for the Uber. And then when we get back in the Uber, like, he had kind of, like, I feel like, gotten out of our viewscape, and we didn't know where he went. So we were like, this car needs to hurry up so we don't get murdered.

[Drew Phillips]

We get in our Uber and we see his bike is parked in the middle of the road where we were. And like, he's screaming at like, everyone that's passing. Like. Like, I don't want to mimic it because it's crazy, but he was like, yelling at everybody. Yeah, literally. And like, freaking the fuck out. And like charging at people. And like, he's charging at the car. He's running at our car. And I'm in the back of the Uber and I'm like, please, like, go. Like, just run the red light. Like, go. He's gonna start banging on the window.

[Enya Umanzor]

There was a group outside of the bar we were at.

[Drew Phillips]

He was like, like running after this group of like 30 people and like.

[Enya Umanzor]

Like a bunch of other bikes. And he had gotten off his bike. It was like running after them.

[Drew Phillips]

It was crazy.

[Kai]

Like, it was so good.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it was.

[Kai]

He treated us like.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, exactly. It was like five, five minutes after he has. He was like kind of normal with us. He like snapped and was like yelling at everybody.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, I literally think we just got lucky because I couldn't gauge my danger that I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, I don't know. And then he was just, huh.

[Drew Phillips]

I shut down.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. Drew and Elsie went dead silent. I was like, oh, I actually don't know. Like, I'm so sorry. We're not from here. And then he was like, okay. And I was like, I think I made a comment, like, hope you find your way. Like I said something. I don't remember exactly what I said, but then we just moved on. But, like, as we walked away, I was like, oh, that was somebody who was probably going to murder us. Like, cuz he was covered in blood. I'm curious how his night progressed that he has a city bike. Like, did he take the city bike from somebody he got into a fight with? Because, like, I know.

[Drew Phillips]

I think he fell off his bike.

[Enya Umanzor]

With his lift app. Like, oh, yeah, maybe he was drunk and fell.

[Drew Phillips]

That's what I think. I think he was like inebriated and fell off his bike.

[Enya Umanzor]

But he was shirtless and he wasn't carrying a shirt.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a hot night.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's true.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a hot night in New York.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's a beautiful night. We're looking for something, dude. Hey, baby.

[Drew Phillips]

I think I want to marry you.

[Enya Umanzor]

And that was our story of how I saved our life. And it was like, honestly, like, just easy for me. Like someone like me, like, you know how Harry Styles is, like, treat people with kindness. I don't even have. I don't feel Like, I have to live by that because I naturally do that.

[Kai]

It's an innate part of your character.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. And giving head is a part of that too, but Jesus Christ. Oh, are you soft serving right now?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. In the car. In the car, everybody was like, we went soft serve. We went soft serve. And I was like. And I gave him a soft serve.

[Enya Umanzor]

He's the only one who can do, like, a soft serve, because I can only do a full four serve. But Drew was in the craziest mood in the car. He was literally passing away, and his phone died. So he was, like, fully tapped out of reality because he couldn't just turn off his brain and scroll tick tock. He like, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, what are you actually. I don't know what you're supposed to do in the car anymore. Like, if you don't have a phone, I don't know what you're supposed to do.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'm the opposite. Because I get so car sick. I'm like, I don't. Like, I don't know how y' all are using your iPhone in the car and not wanting to throw up.

[Kai]

Oh, I'll just meditate.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God. You ass liar. Hey, jerk off, Stop interrupting us.

[Drew Phillips]

Play with myself.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'll play with you in the backseat. Yeah, but, yeah, Drew was just, like, going on, like, a delusional loop. And we passed the smoke shop and did you ever go to the website alliance?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no, I never went.

[Enya Umanzor]

We passed a smoke shop, and he was like, elsie's phone was the only one on. And he was like, write that down. Write that down. It wasn't saying what he was pointing at, but I saw it. I was like, aliens dot com.

[Drew Phillips]

I just wanted to see their website.

[Enya Umanzor]

He was like, write it down. He was like, no. And then we passed, like, three shops. We saw an ice cream shop. He's like, I'm going to make tonight about me, and we need to go get ice cream. And then he was like, what was I just saying to write down? And we were like, aliens right here.

[Drew Phillips]

It doesn't exist.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's not even. Oh, no, it's a L Y E E N S dot com. You're gonna get a virus. Like, immediately.

[Drew Phillips]

I think it was written down and spelled wrong.

[Enya Umanzor]

Or that's just the name of the shop. It's like. It's like, stupid also. That's like sushi.com at that, like, random ass ball. We went to a random ass mall in Hicksville and the rest. One of the restaurants was just called sushi.com. which is honestly so lit. It was like sushi.com Italian food. Like, it was like one of those setups where, like, all of the restaurants were just like, what the food was like. They weren't giving them names anymore. It was like, sandwich.

[Drew Phillips]

It was fake food.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. It was not real.

[Drew Phillips]

It was like, ghost kitchen food.

[Enya Umanzor]

We need a ghost kitchen.

[Drew Phillips]

No one's addressing the pandemic that is Ghost Kitchens.

[Enya Umanzor]

I think it kind of died down. I think Ghost Kitchens was, like, a huge. It's still a thing. But I'm thinking about, like, influencer Ghost Kitchen. Remember when, like, everybody just, like, was like, order from my place on Postmates.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Literally. Or, like, get my food truck.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. It was like, what?

[Drew Phillips]

Why? Like, no, I don't want your food. Like, you post Tick Tocks.

[Enya Umanzor]

Also you post me Chick fil A every single night. You think I'm gonna tr. Whatever food you're running through a ghost kitchen. No, I'm just not.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no one is talking about how devastating of a day I had yesterday. I woke up to quite possibly the worst news of my life. And actually, I'm not kidding. Not a soul said a thing to me.

[Enya Umanzor]

I literally was texting you about it.

[Drew Phillips]

It's like. It's fucked up. No, actually, I am, like, a little bit offended by everyone's behavior in the moment. Except for you. You were the only one that, like, actually treated me with fucking respect. But my fucking Spotify account got deleted and banned.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay?

[Drew Phillips]

I just fucked up.

[Enya Umanzor]

I do understand how deep it is because it's like, a catalog of, like, all of your things, and it's like, this was my moment, and I had this soundtrack. So I do understand. But I thought you were going to say something completely different, and something happened. Like, are you crying? You're. It's okay to cry. Boys cry too.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, now. Now boys are allowed to cry. But three episodes ago, boys weren't allowed to cry.

[Kai]

People change.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, I changed. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, cry, bitch, since you want to so bad. You're a little bitch.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. But, yeah, my Spotify account got deleted. And I thought about it, like, a couple months ago, we had this conversation. I had this conversation with someone, and. And I was like, dude, like, it is kind of terrifying how I don't own my music. Like, I don't own CDs of it. I don't own it on, like, itunes. I just, like, if it, like, something happened to, like, the Spotify servers and everything got deleted, like, I would not own a thing. And I spent all this money to own nothing. And it's.

[Enya Umanzor]

That is kind of insane.

[Kai]

It happened.

[Drew Phillips]

It got. My account got deleted, and I don't have any of the music I listened to when I was in high school. I don't have any of the music.

[Enya Umanzor]

That I was actually for that long.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's like. It's my account.

[Enya Umanzor]

That was your account since, like, 20. Because I. My Spotify account, I had two. So I went through, like, losing my Spotify because I basically gave it to my dad. And now, like, it's not like, I could go back and look at, like, oh, how often did I listen to this? Because it's like, I'm glad you liked listening to J. Balvin every day for three hours for the past five years.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, my account was. I shared it with, like, a couple of my buddies in high school. So, like.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, so, yeah, you've had it for, like, a long time. You've had it for, like, six.

[Drew Phillips]

I've had it since sophomore year.

[Kai]

But they just banned you, right? They weren't like.

[Enya Umanzor]

I think his account was, like, gone.

[Drew Phillips]

I think it's gone.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, I know what you could do. Just make an account and follow yourself. So then you could be paying for two accounts, literally. That's a good idea.

[Drew Phillips]

Hold on. What were you saying, Kai?

[Kai]

Oh, you can. You can mirror your Spotify to, like, Deezer or something?

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's what I think I got banned for is, like, using an illegal app. And I feel like.

[Enya Umanzor]

But I feel like you've done that and that hasn't happened to your account.

[Kai]

No, I only. I only do it with Deezer because all the apps that I use. No.

[Drew Phillips]

Are these your nuts?

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Kai]

God damn.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, who's your friend from North Carolina?

[Drew Phillips]

Laugh. I can't. I just can't laugh. We were at. This is actually the craziest. Like, this was probably rock bottom for me. Like, actually, it was real rock bottom, but rock bottom after rock bottom after rock bottom. Yeah, this is real rock bottom.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, I'm sorry. Oh, it's funny that it's about rock bottom.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, miss, I'm gonna rock your bottom.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, that was good.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, there was something there, but you missed it. But no, we were at, like, dinner yesterday, and one of the people at dinner is from South Carolina, and I was. She was just, like, talking about being from South Carolina, and I was like, oh, I have a friend from South Carolina. And I said it genuinely, and I believe that I had someone that I knew personally from South Carolina. And then I thought about it. And I was like, holy shit. Like, I don't know this person at all. And the even sadder part about it is this person is a literal porn star. And I like. And I've never spoken a single word to this person. I've never.

[Enya Umanzor]

But you've shared intimacy with them.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, exactly.

[Enya Umanzor]

In a lot of ways.

[Drew Phillips]

And it was almost the first person I've ever subscribed to on Only Fans. But since OnlyFans doesn't take AmEx, they wouldn't let me, so I just have to read their Twitter bio and know that they're from North Carolina.

[Kai]

So your. Your parasocial relationship with this porn star is so deep.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That you think that, you know.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that I. I genuinely was like. I mean, there's something to that friend.

[Enya Umanzor]

I feel like that's my friend.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, we jerked off together.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'm gonna say, like, that's the crazy thing is, like, of all parasocial, like, relationships, I feel like that, like, makes sense because, like, in a way, you had intimacy with someone.

[Drew Phillips]

The deepest form of human connect. Connection. Oh, whoa. Holy shit.

[Enya Umanzor]

That was a good save from, like, your crazy stutter. Also, every time you do this and look at me, it looks like you're smelling your armpit. And I thought that's what you're doing when you're fake crying. I was like, is he, like, acting like he's crying so he can smell his fucking armpit right now?

[Drew Phillips]

Basically Spotify you, actually.

[Enya Umanzor]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

Please.

[Enya Umanzor]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

But we love you. Love you, you know?

[Enya Umanzor]

You know? Oh, you know? All right, hold on. I have to, like, close the blinds because the sun is, like, in your face.

[Drew Phillips]

It's fine.

[Enya Umanzor]

I just don't want you to wait. You have a hat. Oh, you have a hat. Yeah, that's your hat that you have that you just have on standby to block out the sun. That's your hat.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, it literally works. It just, like.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, it, like, works almost too. It's blocking the sun from me.

[Drew Phillips]

You're welcome.

[Kai]

Where did you get that?

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, like, what? Where did you pull it from?

[Drew Phillips]

I. It was down here.

[Enya Umanzor]

I didn't even notice it.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's inconsistent. It's basically a stool. I used it as a stool, too, on that thing.

[Kai]

It's like, £10.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it is £10. It's Comme des garcon. Okay, First Hermes, next comb.

[Enya Umanzor]

Is this one.

[Drew Phillips]

I got it like that.

[Enya Umanzor]

Is it. Well, is this one real, though? Because I know the other one was really fake. Oh, you left the tag on. Why did you leave the Tag on.

[Drew Phillips]

For proof because no one will, or.

[Enya Umanzor]

To return it because you can't afford it.

[Drew Phillips]

You are so mad that I have the coolest hat ever. That's the thing. It's giving for real.

[Enya Umanzor]

It moves. No, it's like. It's like. It's giving, like, pilgrimage.

[Drew Phillips]

It's giving high fashion. It's giving swag.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's giving swag. It's giving.

[Drew Phillips]

It's giving. I get.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's giving. Like, I have a secret, and my head is about to explode because I can't keep it in any longer.

[Kai]

It looks like a Lego hat.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's crazy. Is it hollow? Oh, yeah, it is.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I keep things in here too, sometimes.

[Enya Umanzor]

Can you. Can you hold my water? Do you think you could or, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, it fits. Obviously. It's like what it's made for.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's what it's made for.

[Drew Phillips]

This is a little too big. Take your water bottle. But I store my iPhone in here. It's, like, really nice.

[Enya Umanzor]

Why? Why would anybody want to store their iPhone in their hat if you don't have pockets?

[Drew Phillips]

If you don't have pockets, you just put your phone in your.

[Enya Umanzor]

I guess. But then what if your hat falls off? I feel like that's a really prone to falling off hat. Like, what if someone's mad at you and they could just swing your hat off? Are you getting a phone call right now?

[Drew Phillips]

I'm getting a phone call. Oh, yo.

[Enya Umanzor]

Hey, can you.

[Kai]

Elsie. Absolutely folding.

[Enya Umanzor]

That was, like, insane.

[Drew Phillips]

Hey. I would have done the same thing. I was just going to be, like.

[Enya Umanzor]

I was shocked.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, are you almost here? Dude? I'm so happy. We were locked in. Like, we did not plan that out. I turned. I. Anya was going to do it. Were you going to call it a call?

[Enya Umanzor]

When it. When the call happened, I was like, who did that?

[Drew Phillips]

I know. That was. We were really locked in.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, can you hit that?

[Drew Phillips]

Why?

[Enya Umanzor]

Because seeing you hit a jewel and this, like, pilgrimage hat is crazy. I don't like that. Don't. Don't rub the rim.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it's like the cowboy hat thing.

[Enya Umanzor]

Like tipping your hat. Oh, can I try it on? I bet it looks good on me.

[Drew Phillips]

You cannot try this on.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

This is made for men.

[Enya Umanzor]

Whoa. Clothing, like, doesn't like girls Clothes should wear girls.

[Drew Phillips]

A girl should wear girls clothes. Men should wear men clothes. And that's it. Not wearing this.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's your statement? That's all.

[Drew Phillips]

I will die on that hill.

[Enya Umanzor]

I will die on the hill that.

[Drew Phillips]

Skirts are for girls.

[Enya Umanzor]

Kid Cudi.

[Drew Phillips]

Your.

[Enya Umanzor]

Your day is coming.

[Drew Phillips]

This second time we've hated on Kid Cuddy.

[Enya Umanzor]

My whole head can, like, go in this.

[Kai]

It looks longer on Enya for some reason.

[Drew Phillips]

Are you saying that I have a big head?

[Enya Umanzor]

That's what they. No, no. That's just what they say about me.

[Kai]

I'm not dissing you. Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

It's crazy how I have haters in the room.

[Kai]

I think you look good. I think you look really handsome.

[Drew Phillips]

Silent haters.

[Enya Umanzor]

I don't. He's not silent, though. He's, like, openly, like, being kind of mean to you. So I think that. I think that's pretty, like, cool of him. And it is weird because he's teetering on the edge of being fired. He's, like, on a constant loop of that. But, like, I mean, like, how is.

[Kai]

Me complimenting Enya a threat to you? Drew, I feel like we need to unpack that, honestly, because.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, why are you hitting on me?

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like I need to unpack these fists.

[Enya Umanzor]

I feel like I need to direction. Unpack my butthole. Okay, on to Drew.

[Kai]

Drew, if you're gonna hit me, hit me.

[Enya Umanzor]

Honestly, I feel like every time I do an episode I'm making, but you.

[Kai]

Better knock me the fuck out.

[Drew Phillips]

What does that mean?

[Enya Umanzor]

This is kind of nice being in here. It smells like Drew, shut the hell up.

[Drew Phillips]

It smells like me, though. Oh, it's on there. It's really on. It's still stuck on you.

[Enya Umanzor]

Get it off.

[Drew Phillips]

It's stuck. Was it actually stuck?

[Enya Umanzor]

Not for a second. But then when you started yanking it, it went to an angle, and it, like, was grabbing my earrings and it hurled.

[Drew Phillips]

You pushed it down on my face, and it, like, hit the bridge of my nose. And I swore for, like, half a second. You broke my nose. No, don't do it again, please. Cuz it actually hurt.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Personally.

[Enya Umanzor]

Shut.

[Kai]

All right.

[Enya Umanzor]

Sorry. Drew's wind chimes are going on. His virtual wind chimes. The ring tone is so embarrassing. Like, the, like, ring, like, wind chimes is so embarrassing. And every time I'm anywhere close.

[Drew Phillips]

It.

[Kai]

It looks good. You guys look beautiful.

[Drew Phillips]

I can still wear the baseball.

[Enya Umanzor]

Like, a very scary.

[Drew Phillips]

You want to compliment me, but you don't want to put out.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, you're being. You're being, like, the ultimate tease.

[Kai]

Like, I'm your employee. That's weird to say. Okay, comment section is gonna agree with me.

[Drew Phillips]

Them.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, wait. When we were in that restaurant yesterday, did you hear me doing fart sounds in the bathroom? No, dude, I don't think you were I think you had already gone into the bathroom or you moved. And the person who was outside, that woman who was outside of my door, I think she heard all of that because I kept going up to the door. I was like.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I didn't know. I don't think we heard it because I was standing right next to her. I think she was like, if she gave you any sort of energy, it was because you opened the door, and I, as someone with, like, carrying, like, 30 pounds of glass cups was walking by, and you almost, like, hit him. And I was like, can you. No, no, no. But, like, nothing happened. But I think she made. That may have been the energy, but we could not hear you making farts.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's embarrassing, though, because that means I was just in the bathroom, like, peeing and making farts. I was doing it for so long.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I was like, kai's been doing this thing recently where he doesn't lock the bathroom door, which I think it's on purpose, so people see him defecating and walk in on him using the restroom.

[Enya Umanzor]

Defecating.

[Kai]

It's true.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's crazy.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Every.

[Kai]

Every time I've gone, you're weird. Pee or poo in the bathroom in New York. I haven't locked it. Cause it's, like, cool to be like, oh, at any moment, someone could come in, and I would be in this, like, compromising position.

[Enya Umanzor]

What else you got? Right there, man. Come on, man.

[Drew Phillips]

Why is every security guard the oldest person I've ever seen? No, but actually, why are they the oldest people ever?

[Enya Umanzor]

I know. Like, they're. I'm sorry. They're not. I'm running. I'm running.

[Drew Phillips]

I know I'm supposed to trust my life at. Like, I was at the bank, and I'm not kidding. This man was 98 years old. He was literally withering away in front of me. He had seconds left. Like, I'm. I guarantee he dies in the next four days. He was withering away, and I was sitting there thinking. I was like, who? Like, who is he protecting? Is he gonna protect me? Like, I'm gonna have to protect him.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

But I do understand why. Because, like, old people have to make money, too, to work, which is, like, crazy. But, like, security guards are disgustingly old.

[Enya Umanzor]

That was the craziest observation ever. Because it's so true. Like, I can't think of, like, a young security guard I've seen in the past, like, three months.

[Drew Phillips]

Just like every male flight attendant is a gay man, says, prove me wrong.

[Kai]

It's.

[Enya Umanzor]

I can't comments. Speak up. And then we'll accuse you of lying. In the next episode, we'll accuse you of lying. Well, that's like, had. Never mind. It was going to be really bad. And I don't want to say it because I'm really embarrassed.

[Drew Phillips]

The next note I have is, it's all theatrics.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

Everything is theatrics. Nothing is real. That security guard. That is not real. He's not protecting me. It's theatrics.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, that's what TSA is.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. All of it. Everything. All security. All things to protect us isn't real.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, everything is to make somebody feel in power, but in the same position. Disengaging somebody from power so that somebody else could be on top of somebody else. Like security guards are that like, what, we don't live in the 1920s anymore? Who's going in and robbing a bank? When's the last time a bank was robbed?

[Drew Phillips]

Can you even rob a bank? I genuinely feel like it's just debit cards now. Like, they don't have any.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, they don't have money in there. They probably have, like, such a small. I think I saw something about that, that somebody robbed a bank and took all the money that was there. And I'm not kidding. I think they had made a comment that it was like $3,000 and that's what was in cash at the bank.

[Kai]

And I was like, you saw. Was from our show because we had this conversation.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, what was it?

[Kai]

We talked about, like, who robs banks anymore? And then I looked up how much the average bank robbery is, and it's like seven somewhere. It's like seven grand.

[Enya Umanzor]

Really sexy person. Talk about that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. The Emergency Intercom Experience. We should make an intro to our show that it's like primates becoming sentient with third eyes, like, making their monkey sounds. And then like a woman.

[Enya Umanzor]

Comes an alternative intro to this.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. And then like a woman's voice, like, borderline robotic, kind of like all encompassing omnipresent is says the Emergency Intercom Experience.

[Kai]

I have some pretty bad news for you, Drew.

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Kai]

You just described the Joe Rogan Experience intro, like, word for word.

[Enya Umanzor]

Is that actually Joe Rogan's opening? Yeah, I. I'm not kidding. I have never seen an episode of that in my life. And I'm not kidding. I genuinely. If you put a picture of Joe Rogan in my face, I. I don't know if I would be able to name that. I don't know what he looks like.

[Kai]

Well, Drew and I are white guys, so it's like seared.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's like it's in our DNA.

[Enya Umanzor]

Joe Rogan is white, right?

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Enya Umanzor]

What is he?

[Drew Phillips]

He's Hispanic.

[Kai]

He's Italian. I'm pretty sure.

[Enya Umanzor]

Like I. I'm not kidding. If you put like 10 men in front of me and you were like point out Joe Rogan and you had a gun to my head, I'd be.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, okay, let's play that game right now. Okay, look up three men and you try it.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Look at like random white man. Random white man and then Joe Rogan.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

And we'll play that game.

[Enya Umanzor]

What do I win if I got get it right?

[Drew Phillips]

You get a big old smooch from me, they go kiss.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay. Why the would I want that like be real?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, people want that.

[Enya Umanzor]

Who wants that?

[Drew Phillips]

People like the people watching.

[Kai]

If Anya doesn't get this right.

[Drew Phillips]

These.

[Kai]

Are like Dolly 2 images. Are you making fun of my laugh?

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, I was. I thought it was going to crackle in my voice cuz I have bronchitis.

[Enya Umanzor]

You were speaking earlier and you had a voice like your lung pop. And I was like, oh my God, you're dying. And it's literally since you've gotten that jewel, like it's gone downhill. Like, like your voice.

[Drew Phillips]

We got, we got, we talked about this on the Patreon, but we got mint jewel pods shipped in from Russia that are a year expired and I've been hitting them and my lungs have been filling up with pus, but they taste so good.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yummy. They need to make mints that taste like that. Like mints that are jewel mint pod flavored.

[Drew Phillips]

The emergency intercom experience like Jolly Ranchers.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay, let's be like, okay, if we can't have mint juulpods anymore, they need to make a non nicotine based one that tastes and smells like that that I could put in a humidifier.

[Drew Phillips]

That's how I feel about Red Bull. Like Red Bull without caffeine. Yeah, put it in a humidifier.

[Enya Umanzor]

I don't know why they haven't done that. The unspiked. Maybe we should do that. We should just steal the formula.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's what I'm saying is like they. I've given them a billion dollar idea and they won't take it. So I'm just going to have to do it on my own.

[Kai]

Have the photos ready. Okay, I'll put these on screen. This is number one.

[Enya Umanzor]

What if I get it immediately? Then what's the fun in it.

[Kai]

This is number one.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay.

[Kai]

Me too. And then this is number three.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, it's incredibly easy because only one of them. Only one of them has a mic in their hand and looks like they're saying the most absurd ever. And the rest of them, it looks like they're LinkedIn profiles.

[Drew Phillips]

And, yeah, you just got tricked because that was Alex Jones.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, are you kidding?

[Kai]

Number two is Joe Rogan.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Enya Umanzor]

No. Swear to God. No, you're lying. I'm looking this shit up because y' all are lying. Wait, I'm so confused.

[Drew Phillips]

No, you got it right.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, okay. That actually confused me because I was like, I don't know how Alex Jones looks either. Like, I don't know. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, whoa.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you just got bodied.

[Kai]

I.

[Enya Umanzor]

That would have been awesome if I got bodied that way.

[Drew Phillips]

I wish.

[Kai]

Okay, I have one more.

[Enya Umanzor]

That's him.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm at that point where it's back to me wanting to run away and disappear again.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my gosh. Maybe when my suicidal ideations are forming into other things and I just, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Manifesting as hiking trips. My suicide. My suicide manifests itself as, like, running away. Running away and camping.

[Enya Umanzor]

I mean, that's, like, a healthy way for it to, like, go. Dude, have you been seeing, like, Tavia in.

[Drew Phillips]

I just saw it today on her IG story. That blue Fudge.

[Enya Umanzor]

We're going to. We're going to spend the rest of our life being, like, we're going to go do that and then not doing it because we're just, like, caught up. We're caught up in other things.

[Kai]

I feel like you guys do stuff, though.

[Enya Umanzor]

Shut.

[Kai]

I just. I. I'm trying to, like, validate the fact that you guys are living your.

[Enya Umanzor]

Lives and you go blind.

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Kai]

The fog.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'm sorry that came.

[Kai]

It's okay.

[Drew Phillips]

If you went blind, I would take care of you. You.

[Kai]

If I went blind, it would suck, cuz I could never.

[Enya Umanzor]

If you went blind, I would push you so crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't hit on me.

[Kai]

I'm not hitting on you.

[Enya Umanzor]

I would push you over physically.

[Drew Phillips]

I would wipe your ass for you in the street.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew Phillips]

I actually.

[Kai]

I feel like I don't think he.

[Enya Umanzor]

Would need help wiping his ass. I think you just really want to wipe his ass.

[Kai]

My eyes. That has been kind of bad recently, though, so maybe we should just start test it out. Just test it.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Oh, my God. She gets so jealous.

[Kai]

I know. When you talk about wiping my hiney.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. She, like, wants to, like, be, like, kissing on me.

[Kai]

Imagine me with my true. Imagine me with my legs up.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay. No, we're done. We're done, though.

[Drew Phillips]

You know that one video of the baby farting? Like, squeezing the farts out with.

[Kai]

Oh, yes.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll do that, too.

[Kai]

That would be awesome if you could get it all.

[Drew Phillips]

Can we actually try that?

[Kai]

I'm down. That's Patreon.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I'm not. I'm not even joking. Can we try that?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Enya Umanzor]

You don't. You hate farts?

[Drew Phillips]

I would. I would take a fart to the face for that.

[Enya Umanzor]

I farted around Drew, and he's gotten genuinely pissed because he hates farts, and he's like, oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

Just hold it in. Like, I hold it in until it dissipates inside.

[Enya Umanzor]

And that's why you can't.

[Kai]

Do your balls absorb the fart?

[Enya Umanzor]

If I squeezed your balls, would you fart?

[Drew Phillips]

No. Oh, no.

[Enya Umanzor]

Whatever. I'm just. I mean, you said they go to the.

[Kai]

Sometimes I get really angry when people fart. I don't know why.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm just like, really?

[Kai]

I don't know why.

[Drew Phillips]

You could just have not done that or made it silent, and I would have been like, which one of you motherfuckers farted? But, like, hearing it is completely so weird.

[Kai]

I was thinking about that the other day. Sounds like I make so many poop jokes, but I do. I am disgusted by farts in a way. I'm like, I fucking hate that.

[Enya Umanzor]

I think that's just funny. Y' all are.

[Kai]

No, it's funny. It is funny, but.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I don't care if guys fart, but when girls fart, I'm like, you're just.

[Enya Umanzor]

What the. No, that's, like, literally the source of the problem.

[Kai]

I like it when girls.

[Enya Umanzor]

You saying that in that hat is crazy. You don't feel weird for saying that?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I just think girls, if they don't poop, like, why should they be able to fart?

[Enya Umanzor]

No, girls poop. Girls like poop all the time.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't. Like, you can't lie to me. Like, I just lied to you and said Joe Rogan was Alex Jones. Like, you can't do that to me.

[Enya Umanzor]

I don't know who you are talking.

[Kai]

Look how big Drew's brain is.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly. Why do you think I wear this hat? It's because it's hard for my hat.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, because your hair. Hair has started to matte up from the top because you don't brush it. So now you have to hide it, and you have one big mound of matted hair at the top of your head that you can only hide with that hat. Oh, hello. Hey, you can't just hide.

[Drew Phillips]

Where'd you go?

[Enya Umanzor]

You can't just hide from me.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, this is gonna hurt.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I thought this wasn't gonna come off. I actually got so weird.

[Enya Umanzor]

Imagine we had to take you to the fire department. They had to. Oh, that would be. Pissed me off.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Please help me.

[Kai]

And, yeah, I think it's cool if girls make big diarrhea farts.

[Enya Umanzor]

Should we move on?

[Drew Phillips]

We think we should move on.

[Kai]

All right.

[Enya Umanzor]

I wish we were in our house and you were in this same chair and that chair was mine. Because if we were, I would kick the legs of it so hard that the wood would break and you would fall and you would be so embarrassed.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya Umanzor]

And then you would try to laugh it off and it wouldn't be funny.

[Kai]

Because my tailbone would hit the ground.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. And the wind would be knocked out of you.

[Kai]

Have you guys ever, like, slipped on ice and, like, hit your tailbone like that?

[Drew Phillips]

No, because.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah, because I have, like, balance.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I. I have hit my team.

[Kai]

We've all done that. Dude, come on.

[Enya Umanzor]

Ew. You're embarrassed.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I have. I have hit my tailbone and it's the worst pain.

[Kai]

That was the meanest shit anyone's ever said to me. Straight up.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, because I know how to walk. Like, what cool supreme sticker on your fucking lap?

[Kai]

I didn't even put that on there. What the.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I wrote the subway for the first time alone.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God. He keeps saying it. No, you have to mention that you got yelled at because you asked for help and you met the meanest person.

[Drew Phillips]

I didn't know where I was going, and I wanted to be sure I didn't fucking go to, like, Long island or some shit and ride the train for 30 minutes and, like, go the opposite way. So I was asking people for help along the way. Because if someone asked me for help and I knew where I was, I would be like, oh, yeah. Like, this is it. I would be nice about it because.

[Enya Umanzor]

I would fucking push them and spit on.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like you would be like, the type of person to kind of like, roll your eyes and be angry.

[Enya Umanzor]

What?

[Drew Phillips]

But I asked several people, and I don't know what it is about me, but I only approached women. And I think it's because I trust women. But I recognize that, like, to the average woman who doesn't know who I am, I am a scary looking straight man.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally, like. And I. I Can see that some people. And that's why I give. I'm giving her the benefit.

[Enya Umanzor]

You have to just go up to her and be like, hey, my beautiful slay queen.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Enya Umanzor]

Like, and then you can. And then, hey, girl, let's have a key.

[Drew Phillips]

But I asked her. I was like, so is this. This CD trainer, whatever. The train I was trying to get on the CDs. Nuts. Train. I have to do it.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, you said that to her?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Like, I was like, do you want to see my balls? What train is this? And I was like, why would you yell at me? I was like, you look so beautiful. You shouldn't be wearing makeup.

[Enya Umanzor]

Why are you. Why aren't you smiling right now?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, like, you should. You should put a smile on that face, girl.

[Enya Umanzor]

I could put a smile on your face.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, exactly. No, I just. I simply was just like, yo, is this the right train? And she, like, slowly looked up and then, like, turned her head to me and was like, she's. I don't remember what she said, but she said some Schlick shit where it was like, she, like, pointed to the wall across, and it was like, I don't know. Look. And then I was like, holy fucking shit. Like, well, like, I'm being genuine. And I'm asking you this seriously. Like, if a man approached you and, like, would you, like. And you were fearful for your life of him, would you be mean to him or would you try to, like, be nice?

[Enya Umanzor]

No, I don't even think it was a fear thing. She was probably just like. Like, annoyed because, like, I don't think you necessarily bring fear in people. Because, like, let's be real. Like, I mean.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I'm pretty big.

[Enya Umanzor]

What was that? What were you pointing.

[Kai]

You literally just flexed like, SpongeBob.

[Enya Umanzor]

Also, like, you were wearing the hat, which would piss me off.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Enya Umanzor]

So, like, I'd be like this.

[Drew Phillips]

You know, I am the final, like, four millennial in this hat. That's what I just realized. This is what that is.

[Kai]

The millennial final boss.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Like, if I was at Burning man and I had this han on, you would get.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, but it would have to be that one shade of brown we were talking about. Like, the one shade of brown that everybody.

[Kai]

I feel like a maroon would look really good with that.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, I wouldn't be mean to you, but while you were having that experience, I was on the train because we were all meeting at Central park, and I was on the train alone also. And these three, like, 1516 year old kids were like vlogging and being so fudgeing obnoxious. And I was like, whatever, I'm obnoxious sometimes, whatever. But they kept doing this thing where they were screaming. And I think obviously because of like the state of like everyone in the US but specifically on public transportation in New York, people are kind of just like, you know, you see the videos, everybody's like, very like cognizant of like, what's happening around them. And they were on this train, like screaming and making noise and like obviously trying to invoke like fear because they thought it was funny. And everybody was just kind of annoyed with them. They just happened to be going to Central park too. So we got off at the same stop and they were in front of me. And like, then they crossed the street and they pulled out water guns and started spraying random people and recording it. And I was like, they are the worst people on this planet right now. Like, you cannot convince me otherwise. And they were like doing that and vlogging themselves. And then I had to cross to where they were because we were also going into the same entrance and I didn't want to elongate my walk by like 10 minutes. I was like, it. I'm just gonna get behind them. I was behind them and they kept turning around and seeing me and like slowing down because I knew they wanted to spray me with their stupid ass water guns. And basically I ended up just like going around them because they wouldn't stop. And when I was passing them, they said hi to me and I was like, this is so annoying because now they're gonna hit me with this water. And I felt a spray on my back and I didn't do anything. And I was like, whatever, I'll let them just be kids and be annoying and keep moving. And then they did it again and I didn't look back and I was holding my water bottle and I the middle finger. Then all of them were like, what? That wasn't even us. We said hi to you. We were being nice, you're being mean. And like, they were just being annoying. And then they did it again. They were like 16, 17, but I can't really gauge. They were just really tall. Like, they were all like, kind of taller than me. But you could tell they were children.

[Drew Phillips]

Personally, I would have pushed them under the train tracks.

[Enya Umanzor]

But you would have murdered children. I will say, and I've said it publicly, like, I do, like, when kids are being fucking batshit annoying, I do want them to die. Like, and I Am sorry, whatever, sue me. But they did it again and I knew they were recording me. And I was like, this is the lamest I'm probably ever gonna sound. Because I'm gonna sound like a 40 year old, like, single woman, a single mother, I meant, who's like, tired of my own kids. And I was just like, I was like, get from around me. Get go around me. And I was like, please, please. And then they were like, we were just playing. I was like, please, please, please. And then they just like went around me and I just moved the other way and they didn't even laugh. So I think, like, I maybe hurt their feelings. I couldn't tell and I couldn't give a fuck. I. But it annoyed me so bad. And all I could think about is that they have on video of them spraying my back. And like, I genuinely was walking and I was like, damn, you know what? I actually hope they get hit by a fucking car. Because, like the cars that were passing when people had their windows open, like there were truck drivers passing and they were spraying the people and it was like they were just being so rude and recording it. And I was like, this is why the Internet is like the worst thing to ever happen to like the human race. And I was like, they're being so evil and I want them to get hit by a car. Because in my head I'm like, the karma would play out that they would be like, oh, I was being awful to these people who are just working and living their life and it's karma. But then I was like, no, they would probably just become even worse people because they were like, obviously just straight kids who like, were like, not being like, don't have strict parents. Like, that was like kind of the vibe. But basically I was genuinely like walking to the park and instead of being peaceful, I was like ruminating because I was like, I genuinely want them to like, get hit by a car and not die, but just like be out of the game until they're like 18 and then they have time to be like, up. I can't be like a reckless idiot anymore. I'm a grown up now.

[Drew Phillips]

I completely forgot that this happened because I actually trauma blocked it. But probably around the same time you were experiencing that legitimately. I was like, I. I had the reason I rode the subway alone for the first time. Like, I. Yes, I. Oh my God. It's called subbing. We get on the subway, we do our thing, we get in New York and we do our thing and we ride the subway. Like, it's not that weird.

[Enya Umanzor]

You know who calls it subbing?

[Kai]

Nobody does that.

[Drew Phillips]

You take Suboxone and you get on the subway, take a box Suboxone.

[Enya Umanzor]

Is that like a, like a, like a medication? What is that?

[Drew Phillips]

Sort of, yeah, it's a lit as medication. But I got to my destination. I needed to go to my bank to get like a blank check or some and got all that figured out. I was waiting for Mason out front because he was meeting up with me and then we were going to go to Central park and meet you there and everybody else. And I had gone into Starbucks for the first time on my own, like volition, I think, ever in my life. It was like the first time I've ever like, been like, oh, I want a Starbucks drink. Which I will. I'm going to go on a fucking rampage about in a second.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, I'm sorry. We've seen your old ID posts. You've been into Starbucks on your own volition. Mr. Lana Del Rey is so beautiful.

[Kai]

How many vanilla.

[Enya Umanzor]

I know you were up those frappuccinos.

[Kai]

Yeah, how many vanilla Frappuccinos have you sucked down?

[Enya Umanzor]

You are such a vanilla bean Frappuccino. And I mean, I mean that derogatory.

[Drew Phillips]

What do you mean by that?

[Enya Umanzor]

Derogatory as hell. You are a vanilla bean Frappuccino.

[Drew Phillips]

But I went to Starbucks and I got my strawberry acai refresher, which is just acai. My pink drink. My pinkity drinkity drinky. And I, I just like, had to find something to do because I actually looked like a psycho tweak. And I was like pacing up and.

[Enya Umanzor]

Down the room, went in the bank and did your business and then stood outside the bank. You, like, looked like you were going to rob the bank.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, exactly. I. Mason, like, is never on time and he was like 30 minutes away when I left the bank. And I was like, okay, whatever, I'll just wait up and down the street. And I was like pacing back and forth for a while. Then I got my Starbucks and then I was like, okay, I need to fucking relax and just sit down on my iPhone. But I was trying to conserve my battery because it was dying very quickly. And I'm like crouching and I'm like, I'm bored as fog, so I'm not on my phone. I'm just kind of like thinking thoughts of myself. And then I'm like, oh, I should take my vitamins since I have this drink right now. So I like go into my wallet and I take out like six beef liver pills and like, to the untrained eye, it looks like Molly. Like, they look like actual drugs. And I'm sitting there, like. Like, imagine me, like, crouched in my, like, normal crouch position, like, skimming through my wallet, like, getting pills out. And then a fan comes up, and she's like, hey, I really, really love your podcast. Like, can I get a picture with you? And, like, immediately, I'm like, yeah, sure. Like, of course. And I stand up and, like, three pills fall out of my lap and, like, roll all over the ground. And, like, I'm just like, I promise I'm not doing drugs. Like, I swear it's not drugs. They're vitamins. They're my vitamins. And she just was like. And, like, took the picture and walked away. And, like, to her, it actually looked like I was doing drugs. Like, I looked like I was doing drugs.

[Enya Umanzor]

You look like a freak because you're crouching down in front of a. A bank.

[Kai]

Yeah. And you're alone. A hat that doesn't exist.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God. Wait, no, we have to tell that when.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I just. I got really light headed, actually.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, I did, too, because I haven't had, like, a. Like, a big enough meal. And when you were talking, I was.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, passing away, like, three quarters of. Or. Yeah, three quarters of Subway today. But they up my thing, and they put olives in this, like, sweet dressing.

[Enya Umanzor]

You being, like, in New York, which is, like, infamous for having, like, an infinite amount of delis that you could go to, and you ordering Subway?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I ordered Subway.

[Enya Umanzor]

Who?

[Kai]

True. I'm gonna put some sweet dressing in you. Right after we stop recording. I'm gonna take you upstairs and put some sweet dressing.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God, man.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Enya Umanzor]

But after we got the hat, me and Drew were sitting outside of this matcha spot, and we were, like, sitting in Soho just trying to figure out what we were gonna do, and he was wearing it, and this girl ran up to us, and she was like, oh, my God. Like, I'm out of breath because I just ran here, but my friend said you were here, and I wanted to come meet you. And then we were like, oh, what? Like, hey. We started talking to her, and we were like, like, wait, how did your friend see us? And then she was like, oh, because he was about to clock into work, and he was like, oh, my God, Drew is on the street. But, like, he's just in a really big hat.

[Drew Phillips]

So look for the big hat and.

[Enya Umanzor]

Look for the big hat. And that had me. Andrew. Cracking out, because I was like, dude. And they were like, Is that real? Like, are you wearing that seriously? And me, Andrew, were like, dude, who are we on the Internet that that's even a real question? Like, if the hat is, like, a real, like, fashion choice. But it was, like, like, genuinely making people upset and, like, angry, and they were, like, genuinely taking offense to the fact that Drew was wearing.

[Drew Phillips]

I was getting bullied to my face for the first time in my life. And also in that situation when the girls were like, look, for the big hat, we were sitting next to this woman who, like, was just, like, minding her business, drinking her matcha and eating her ice cream. And, like, we just, like, invaded her space and sat next to her, and I had, like, a connection fit. Like a meltdown. I was like, every decision, the past six decisions I've made have been wrong. Like, I'm fucking up. Like, I'm ruining my life. Everybody hates me, like, freaking the fuck out, all while wearing this hat. And then I, like, stop myself for a second.

[Enya Umanzor]

I think I said something.

[Drew Phillips]

I was like, no, no. I saw myself for a second, and I, like, see myself in the third person, and I'm like. And I'm doing all this in this stupid hat. And then she just burst out laughing because, like, she wanted the hat to be addressed so bad.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah. Because she was probably like, dude, there's no way this man is actually sitting here freaking the fuck out with that on his head. Like, that should be, like, Whatever decisions you made that were wrong should be the least of your worries. If that hat was, like, also made, like, recently, like, that should be. That was the first bad decision. But honestly, it was the best decision.

[Drew Phillips]

I know because, look, we look good.

[Enya Umanzor]

Who's we?

[Drew Phillips]

You're the only one who wears my fucking altars.

[Kai]

You, like, you're getting sucked into a black hole right now.

[Enya Umanzor]

What time are we at?

[Kai]

One minute and. Or. Sorry. One hour and three minutes.

[Drew Phillips]

So we got, like, 10 minutes left.

[Kai]

No, you probably do, like, media, and you're good.

[Enya Umanzor]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

No, because we remove a bunch of cuts. We, like, sat around for, like, 10 minutes.

[Enya Umanzor]

It's, like, less than 10 minutes of cuts.

[Kai]

Yeah, I think it's, like, five to seven minutes of cuts.

[Drew Phillips]

There's another minute of cuts, so keep that in mind.

[Enya Umanzor]

I just want to, like. I want to make love to you in a really nasty way.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm a nasty woman with a president who looks like he's covered in Cheeto dust. Cheeto dust?

[Enya Umanzor]

Is that how she says it?

[Drew Phillips]

Cheeto dust? It sounds like I'm a nasty woman.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, should we put that on a shirt.

[Kai]

New merch.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'm gonna put it on, like, a blanket, and I'm gonna sell it.

[Kai]

I'm gonna make pink hats and call them hats.

[Enya Umanzor]

All right, let's go into some media, because, like, you're freaking me the out. My media of the week is the Shake Shack meal bundle off of the app Seamless.

[Drew Phillips]

Wow. Wait. But actually, not enough people are talking about when you get Shake Shack delivered to your house, they put the soda in the bag with it so it spills all over your meal, and you get home, and it's coated in Coca Cola. And then you eat it, and you're. Every once in a while, you get a fry that's like a sugar fry, because that's happened to me, like, actually six times. It's crazy.

[Enya Umanzor]

You seem pissed. I don't order Shake Shack because I literally don't post mates like that. Like, I'm just, like, different. But that's me, because I care about, like, the things I put in my body. But, you know, I couldn't say the same. I. I genuinely couldn't say the same thing about you. Oh, you're nodding off. That's good. Hello, Drew. Drew. Drew, we're working. Get up.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm good.

[Enya Umanzor]

We were saying, imagine Drew, front row at a fashion show during fashion week in this hat, nodding off.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, actually, it would be the. I'm not kidding. If I wore this hat to anybody's fashion show, I, like, one probably wouldn't get in. But if, by the grace of God, I did get in, I would be a viral clip, and it would take away everything from this fashion show. Everybody.

[Enya Umanzor]

Nobody behind you would be able to see.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that was what.

[Enya Umanzor]

Because he was supposed to go see a movie, but then he was like, dude, I have this fucking hat on, and I'm gonna block anyone who's sitting.

[Drew Phillips]

Behind me, sit inside this movie theater with this tall hat on and block the people behind me. Sitting. Sitting in the front, watching a movie.

[Enya Umanzor]

But there's just, like, this big, like, black, gaping hole in the middle of the screen because of Drew's hat. It's like a tunnel.

[Drew Phillips]

Yep.

[Enya Umanzor]

All right, let's get on to some media.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, let me check media real quick. Oh, I can't, because my Spotify got deleted.

[Enya Umanzor]

Here, I'll let you look at your own.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no, my playlist. I have a bunch of privated playlists. That's the thing. The thing of it all.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, my only media of the week is Amplified Heart by Everything but the Girl. That whole album is so Good.

[Drew Phillips]

See, the thing about you is you lie. And I don't know why you would lie.

[Enya Umanzor]

Wait, how was that a lie? I didn't say it's my favorite album. I said it's like my media of the week. Ew. Kai, get your toes out the camera.

[Kai]

Sorry.

[Enya Umanzor]

You've had those socks since 1953. Like, actually, let's be real. Your socks look like you started the sandlot with those. Like, does that make sense? Look at those. Those are sandlot socks.

[Drew Phillips]

Get them out of frame.

[Enya Umanzor]

They stink. Is.

[Drew Phillips]

Like home makeover videos. I haven't been able to cry unless it's at people getting their homes revealed.

[Enya Umanzor]

Was that one guy. Wait, I wanted to have sex with him. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Move that bus. You know who I'm talking about.

[Kai]

Oh, the extreme home makeover.

[Enya Umanzor]

Ty Pennington.

[Drew Phillips]

Then this is my other. This is my song for media.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, my God. I take that back.

[Kai]

Like, I think you used to look better than that.

[Enya Umanzor]

You need to stop it.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, right. Right here. Yeah, see, that's like the. This song is lit.

[Enya Umanzor]

There's the Cuban one that those Cuban like, whoa. The baby kitten picture just popped up on my phone. That those like, Cuban guys and that girl made was like. I don't remember. Is it.

[Drew Phillips]

What are you saying to me?

[Enya Umanzor]

No, they copied like a Selena flow. I think. I can't remember the song, but you know what I'm talking about. It's like the Cuban, like, Trump anthem. You. Anyway, my media, visually, I don't have anything because I literally haven't been watching anything. And I don't care and you can't sue me. And then I already gave my. My musical media and like, that's it. Somebody I saw was like, I can't get into the things Anya listens to anymore. That's it. So I don't know why I try to please you. You hate me.

[Drew Phillips]

My other media is Let go these nuts.

[Enya Umanzor]

We're gonna get demonetized. We're never monetized. We're never monetized.

[Drew Phillips]

No, we're monetized, but just barely.

[Kai]

It like will barely monetize or.

[Drew Phillips]

Or White Girl freestyling. It has 213 views. White girl. It just look up White Girl freestyle. Oh, this is my real media.

[Enya Umanzor]

No, my media of the week is girls farting.

[Drew Phillips]

Remember when this made me cry? Enya.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, yeah. That's amazing.

[Drew Phillips]

This is unironically BC homecoming edition. People who play in band in high school blow my mind. Like, y' all. It's insane up like this right here. This is a freestyle. The. The guy. What is it the main guy?

[Enya Umanzor]

Dude, humans are so crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Listen.

[Enya Umanzor]

Is something else playing on your phone?

[Drew Phillips]

No, it's in the background of the video. Every time. Hey, I get chills every time. This video.

[Enya Umanzor]

Oh, no, this part. It's like the. Is that a freestyle?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, he's freestyling. The band behind him isn't. But he got like a bunch of full ride scholarships to a bunch of really prestigious band academies because of that video. But like this.

[Enya Umanzor]

Well, in high school I was looking up how to roll blunt.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, how to roll blunt with blunt or with bible paper. Actually, I'm like trying to find you guys music, but all of my saved music is gone. So I'm like scrolling through my likes on YouTube and everything on here. I've already.

[Kai]

Why don't you just check your Spotify?

[Enya Umanzor]

Because he said all of his, like recently stuff is like private.

[Drew Phillips]

Then all the other is like, it's music, but it's like fucking blady. Ego baby. I've probably already said that song. Oh my God. Blade. Ego baby. Suck my balls.

[Enya Umanzor]

No one even caught, like, came for.

[Drew Phillips]

You or like this.

[Kai]

Oh, cool.

[Enya Umanzor]

Okay, well, that's that. And I hope you guys have like such a bad day that it makes you like reflect on your life in a very like, introspective way. Because you should know better and like, do better and you figure your out.

[Drew Phillips]

Figure it out.

[Enya Umanzor]

I'm just being real. But you know, it.