Emergency Intercom Tiny Desk Concert

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Tiny Desk Concert - Detailed Summary

Episode Information:

• Title: Emergency Intercom Tiny Desk Concert
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (We will be violent)
• Release Date: November 3, 2023

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1. Introduction and Tech Banter

The episode begins with witty banter between hosts Enya and Drew about their shared experience with Apple AirPods Max. They humorously discuss the cleanliness of their headphones, setting a casual and playful tone for the episode.

• Enya: "Both of the pairs are very dirty. The dirtiest thing on the planet." [00:54]
• Drew: "Literally, every piece of gum I've ever eaten, I have swallowed." [02:21]

2. Personal Anecdotes: Flight Fiasco and Health Scares

Enya’s Near-Death Experience on a Flight

Enya shares a harrowing story about a flight delay caused by a maintenance issue. Under the influence of an edible and alcohol, she becomes convinced that the plane is about to crash. Her anxiety peaks as she recounts the pilot's futile attempts to fix the plane.

• Enya: "I was so convinced that it was done for me. Like, I kept making comments, like, oh my God, what if we got off the plane?" [07:18]
• Drew: "I see you. I'm watching you. I'm in your walls. I'm in your room." [01:15]

Despite her fears, the plane eventually takes off safely. Enya reveals that she documented her feelings in her notes, leading to a deeply emotional moment.

• Enya: "I was sitting in the front of the plane crying. I literally started crying." [09:03]
• Drew: "I should just do it from the beginning." [09:35]

Drew’s Battle with Cellulitis

Drew recounts his experience with cellulitis following a suspicious spider bite during a trip to New York City. Ignoring initial warnings from his parents and friends, he delays seeking medical attention, leading to a severe infection.

• Drew: "I have to go. But I have tons. My arm almost fell off." [16:02]
• Enya: "Drew is so difficult because everything is a dying matter." [16:21]

He emphasizes the importance of treating infections promptly, sharing his gratitude for surviving the ordeal.

• Drew: "Every day is a blessing, and you should treat it as such." [16:44]
• Enya: "You're 25, though. You're 17." [17:12]

3. Navigating Transportation: Taxi Driver Horror Story

Drew narrates an unsettling encounter with a hostile taxi driver in Los Angeles. From inflated fees to aggressive behavior, the experience escalates to Drew feeling threatened and ultimately tipping the driver generously to diffuse the tension.

• Drew: "This is crazy. So I get behind him and I grab the seat belt and I choke him out and I kill him." [33:27]
• Enya: "You were in a toxic relationship." [27:20]

Their discussion highlights the frustrations and unpredictability of dealing with transportation services, blending humor with real-life stressors.

4. Social Media and Screen Time Struggles

Enya and Drew delve into their struggles with excessive screen time and social media addiction. They humorously critique each other's phone usage habits while acknowledging the addictive nature of modern technology.

• Enya: "I have to post on Instagram.com and guess what? I don't even post on Instagram.com because I'm so tapped into my real life." [48:36]
• Drew: "10 hours and 41 minutes. And I was like, damn. I'm killing it." [45:19]

This segment underscores the podcast's comedic yet relatable take on contemporary issues like digital addiction.

5. Halloween Costume Chronicles

The hosts reminisce about their past Halloween costumes, sharing laughs over exaggerated and creative outfits. Drew mentions setting a trend on TikTok with his costumes, while Enya critiques their collective costume choices.

• Drew: "I set a trend. People are just following in the footsteps." [22:10]
• Enya: "Everybody's caught, like, my whole timeline on TikTok was like, a costume." [22:24]

Their stories provide lighthearted entertainment, showcasing their playful chemistry and creativity.

6. Media and Entertainment Insights

Enya discusses finishing the TV series "The Sopranos," expressing her emotional connection to the characters and excitement for starting "Nurse Jackie." Meanwhile, Drew shares his experience watching "Killers of the Flower Moon," juxtaposing their differing tastes in media.

• Enya: "I didn't want to finish it because I have become so connected to all those characters." [54:16]
• Drew: "I watch Killers of the Flower Moon or whatever the title of that movie is called." [54:47]

Their discussion emphasizes their passion for storytelling and the impact of well-crafted narratives.

7. Concluding Remarks and Future Teasers

The episode wraps up with light-hearted exchanges about future collaborations and teasing upcoming content. Enya and Drew encourage listeners to return for more engaging and humorous discussions.

• Enya: "Make sure you guys come back next week. It'll be a doozy." [46:50]
• Drew: "Peace and love and unity and respect bye." [55:50]

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Notable Quotes:

• Enya: "I see you. I'm watching you. I'm in your walls. I'm in your room." [01:15]
• Drew: "Every day is a blessing, and you should treat it as such." [16:44]
• Enya: "You should have farted in his car." [33:29]
• Drew: "I killed him with kindness." [34:34]
• Enya: "Everybody wants what they don't have is love." [50:13]

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Conclusion: In this episode of Emergency Intercom, Enya and Drew blend personal stories, humor, and candid conversations to create an engaging and relatable listening experience. From near-death experiences and frustrating transportation tales to struggles with social media addiction and creative Halloween memories, the hosts offer a rich tapestry of content that entertains and resonates with their audience.

Whether sharing heartfelt moments or cracking jokes, Enya and Drew maintain a natural flow, ensuring that both longtime listeners and newcomers find value and amusement in their discussions. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps adds depth, allowing listeners to reference specific moments that highlight the essence of their dynamic.

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Enjoyed this summary? Don't miss out on future episodes for more laughter, insights, and unexpected tales from Enya and Drew on Emergency Intercom!

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno, Cheez It Crackers, Oscar Mayer Lunchables, and Just Bear chicken Bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Enya]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

I'm Drew, and I do have Apple airpod maxes. And I'm like, I love them.

[Enya]

My name is Enya and I have them, too. And yes, if you are wondering, both of the. The pairs are very dirty. The dirtiest thing on the planet.

[Drew]

What? Are we going to talk to the camera or to each other?

[Enya]

I don't know why I'm talking to.

[Drew]

The camera, because I was talking to the camera, too.

[Enya]

Yeah, well, maybe sometimes it's good to speak to them.

[Drew]

Let them know.

[Enya]

Let them know that we. I see you. I'm watching you. I'm in your walls. I'm in your room.

[Drew]

I was just, like, chewing gum the whole time. Let me swallow real quick.

[Enya]

You swallow gum?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

I do not swallow gum anymore.

[Drew]

Really?

[Enya]

No, I.

[Drew]

Literally, every piece of gum I've ever eaten, I have swallowed.

[Enya]

Drew, you know the little, like, black dots on the concrete are gum, right?

[Drew]

Yeah, I know. And that's, like, why I don't spit it out, because I don't want to add to that pile.

[Enya]

So you'd rather just let it sit in your stomach?

[Drew]

Well, it doesn't actually. Like, the stomach acid in your stomach is, like, super powerful. It would melt your finger if you ate it.

[Enya]

So if I really was upset with you, I should throw up stomach bile and throw it in your face.

[Drew]

Actually, that's a good idea.

[Enya]

Well, should I talk about.

[Drew]

Oh, I have something very, very, very.

[Enya]

Oh, but I have something very important.

[Drew]

To say, like, so shut the hell up. No, I have something very important to address about the last episode. I just want to. It's, like, hard for me to talk about, but I wanted to hear for you.

[Enya]

Here, give a me your hand.

[Drew]

I want to just kind of clear the air.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yes, I have a ginormous schlong. Like a big, meaty, girthy.

[Enya]

And the thing is, you've warned everyone. You gave multiple warnings. Like, my wiener is huge. Everybody always talks about it. It's a big problem in my Love life.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And that's why you don't have romantic situations unfolding, because everybody wants to use you for that.

[Drew]

And it's also just extremely difficult because when I get erection, all the blood from my brain goes to my wiener and I pass out. Every time I stand up, it's because my penis gets blood in it. And that's why I'm, like, lightheaded. They. People want to blame it on, oh, like, oh, iron deficiency overdose. Yeah, no, it's.

[Enya]

You're going to be the first human to OD on.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right?

[Drew]

Like, literally. But most of my problems in my life are because of my big ginormous schlong.

[Enya]

I didn't even think about that. But there's are a lot of problems in your life that you could, like, trace back.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, it was funny that.

[Enya]

I.

[Drew]

Like, I. When I was watching the episode back, I was like, blur this, blur this. And, like, make sure you can't see this. And then, like, within the first five seconds of the episode, I'm, like, picking at it, like, and it's.

[Enya]

Yeah, you were, like, grabbing it and moving it around. Well, it's okay because, like, women's boobs should be sexualized. That I understand. But we shouldn't sexualize the wieners of men.

[Drew]

Yeah. I actually also have a question for you about boobs. When you and, like, Orion or you and any of your girlfriends are watching a movie, how quickly into the movie does it take before you start playing with each other's boobs?

[Enya]

Wow. We usually don't. Because I don't like.

[Drew]

What?

[Enya]

I don't, like, have sex with my friends.

[Drew]

Weirdo. Prude. Loser.

[Enya]

How does that make me approved? That's just like some. Not something I do well. Should I talk about? Okay, let me preface. So last time I saw Drew was. We did our Berkeley show.

[Drew]

Hey, Berkeley.

[Enya]

And it was amazing and awesome, but I had to rush out of there because I have. I had work in New York and Drew was gonna meet me in New York, first of all. Yeah. Because we're just like working groups.

[Drew]

We're working.

[Enya]

Our life is movie.

[Drew]

Hence why we're here.

[Enya]

Oh, also, shout out. Oh, you're gonna speak over me?

[Drew]

Yeah. Well, as a man should shout out stray rats for letting me use the. Letting us use the office. Because it's so fucking cool.

[Enya]

Yeah. If you were wondering where we're at, we're at the stray rat. The stray rats headquarters.

[Drew]

Julian is goaded with the sauce. Let's just say that extra goat.

[Enya]

Can I have a side of goat with My sauce? No. Can I have a set of sauce with my goat?

[Drew]

No, no, it's too much.

[Enya]

Anyways, when we were leaving Berkeley, I had to, like, rush out of there. I did not tell you this, but do you remember what I texted you before I took off?

[Drew]

That you were convinced you were gonna die or you. Something like that.

[Enya]

Oh, did I tell you that?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Oh, wait, but do you remember, along those lines, what else I said?

[Drew]

Not off the top, no. But I'll remember once you tell me.

[Enya]

Okay, so I'm going to say the story and then say why I texted you when I texted you. Because it's.

[Drew]

I have to go.

[Enya]

Look, I feel like I could find it. What was that?

[Drew]

Oh, my God. All of my notes just deleted. I'm not even kidding. I had, like, a hundred notes.

[Enya]

Recently deleted.

[Drew]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. That's fucking.

[Drew]

God, I literally almost had, like. I wasn't even have a conniption fit. I was just going to cry. But okay, keep going while I look here.

[Enya]

I know how to find it. Okay.

[Drew]

We didn't take so much.

[Enya]

We're. I'm like, leaving on a late flight out and I. It's a red eye, so I'm thinking to myself, okay, I need to sleep, because the next day I had to show up to twerk.

[Drew]

The twerk competition?

[Enya]

Yeah, I had to show up bright and early to get my booty all oiled up so I could start twerking for Giro. But I had work the next day. Like, I had to be at set early in the morning the next day. So I was like, okay, I need to make sure I sleep on this flight. So before I got on the floor fight, I did what anybody would do in my situation, which is instead of taking melatonin, because I don't believe in melatonin anymore, I took an edible and had, like, two drinks, which is like. I'm not saying to do.

[Drew]

Is it the morbid thought?

[Enya]

Okay, yeah. Wait, so I didn't. In my text, I didn't say that I thought I was going to die. I just, like, I had a morbid thought. Okay, so whatever. I'm just like, a little cross getting on my flight. This company that I'm working with got me, like, a nice flight, so I was like, the first person on the plane. Like, I could see right into the cockpit.

[Drew]

Bragging much?

[Enya]

I'm just saying, like, that it has to do with the story, but, like, my life is a movie and I am working with a company that treated me like an absolute princess. And I, like, flew business class. Like, it's like, really fucking easy. Like, honestly. Oh, wow. So whatever. I'm like a little cross getting onto the flight. I had taken an edible right before I boarded because I was like, by the time I sit down, I want to be high and knock out.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

So I'm sitting on the fly. I'm, like, on the phone, and then I go to get off the phone, and I'm like. Like, I get off the phone and I'm sitting there. And I had been on the phone the whole time until they said this. This is what made me hang up with the phone was we were getting a little delayed. And then the pilot got on, was like, okay, there's, like, a maintenance issue. We're gonna have some people come on. There's a switch for the navigation system that isn't working, and we're gonna have someone come on that.

[Drew]

For me, that's literally what happened on the image 240 in Malaysia Flight that, like, disappeared.

[Enya]

Yeah. Not okay. Like, I literally immediately started freaking the out. And, like, in that moment, him saying that ignited my edible in my brain. So I was so convinced that it was done for me. Like, I kept making comments, like, I like, to myself just kind of laughing, being like, oh, my God, what if we, like, got off the plane? What are we just going.

[Drew]

We should get off, like, right now. Final destination.

[Enya]

Get me off of here. Let me out of here. Get me in, please. The maintenance guy rushed past me into the cockpit, and they had pliers, and they were tugging at the the switch with pliers, like, trying to fix it. And he was like, oh, we're just going to turn the plane on and off again and see if it works. And they kept turning on and off the plane. They were literally just resetting it.

[Drew]

Like, it's a iPhone.

[Enya]

Yeah. Like, this is not an iPhone. This is, like, me and the lives of a bunch of people. Like, get me up. So they do that for, like, 20 minutes. We get delayed, and then the maintenance guys run out, and they're like, all right, I think everything should be good by now. We're just going to take off, and it should be fine. It should be fine. That's why read our text.

[Drew]

And you said, I just had the high. I just had the high. Thought, that's so morbid. I said what? She said, like, if I ever died, how would y' all get into my laptop?

[Enya]

Which. That being like, that's your.

[Drew]

That's your thought. That's what you're thinking about.

[Enya]

And then I'LL explain this. We keep going.

[Drew]

Like, to see my text and what the. Because I'd want yours. I was like, haha. Omg. You know mine. And then she gave me the password to the laptop because, like, my notes.

[Enya]

Okay. And then, like, that was kind of the end of it. But I didn't want to tell you what was happening because I didn't want you to get anxious then take off.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And then hear nothing from me. So I tried to play it cool. But what was actually happening is I was sitting in the front of the plane crying. Like, I literally started crying.

[Drew]

Well, that's where most people die in plane crashes. The front of the plane breaks off.

[Enya]

Dude, first class. I couldn't believe. I was like, I'm done. I'm like, this is why. Don't do this. This is why I. I need to be in an exit row in the back so I can jump out before the plane, like, crashes. Like, this is it. This is my envy.

[Drew]

All.

[Enya]

Wow. Like, I can't. Like, I can't believe this, but I had a moment where I was just thinking. I didn't have morbid thoughts of this is so stupid, because obviously, I was not near death. I. I.

[Drew]

Like, you were so fine. You were just high.

[Enya]

I was near death. I didn't have any, like, sad thoughts. I genuinely was so satisfied and happy with my life. And the reason I gave you the password to my notes app is because I wrote this, which I'm not going to read out loud, but I wrote this, like, 307am October 25th.

[Drew]

Am I allowed to read this?

[Enya]

Yeah, but you can read it, but, like, don't read it out loud. We'll. We'll skip ahead because it's going to take Drew eight years to read that.

[Drew]

Ah, that's so.

[Enya]

And I literally was crying writing this, and I was just like, I need Drew to find this and share it to anybody who, like, why do I.

[Drew]

Have, like, 13 notes? Just like, dude.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's, like, bad. Like, if y' all go through, it'll be like, my life was amazing.

[Drew]

I love my friend's family for everything I've experienced.

[Enya]

Yeah. So that. I just thought. You thought? Yeah, funny. Like, I literally.

[Drew]

You were tweaking. You were literally tweaking off a bean.

[Enya]

The second that place our movie, I knocked out. And I literally.

[Drew]

All that for nothing. All that. But that's literally me. Every single flight, I am sitting in my seat, like, literally convinced I'm going to die. So I text everyone I know that I love them. I'm Like, I'm taking off. I love you. Like, that's my vibe, dude.

[Enya]

I've gone so far that. Down that path that I don't do it anymore. Because now I'm convinced doing that will solidify my death, Even though, like, either way, like, you planes are, like, really safe.

[Drew]

They're so scary. They're literally so.

[Enya]

Yeah, I just thought you would think.

[Drew]

That'S funny because, well, my life, while you were going through that, I literally almost died. And I know I say that, like, every episode. No, no, no. But this was very, very real. Like, it was not. Okay, but so on my flight, like, I must have gotten bit by, like, a spider or a mosquito or something. I don't know what the. The bite was, but, like, it was, like, really itchy. And then it kind of got really hot, and then it got, like, warm. And then I just didn't look at it for, like, four hours. And then, like, I got to the hotel that I'm staying in with my parents. Oh, my gosh. I'm in New York City with my parents. It's so cute.

[Enya]

Super cute. But I've done that before, so it's like. Like, what is.

[Drew]

Okay. Okay. But I. Wait, let me make sure you can hear my voice. Okay. But I get to the hotel, and I'm like, damn, this, like, itches really bad. And I look down on it or look down at it, and, like, it's, like, bulbous. Like, it's super swollen. The bite, it's, like, literally like, a quarter of an inch off of my skin and, like, the size of a quarter. And I'm like, wait, this was not like that. Like, what the hell is going on? And so I show my mom and dad, and they just, like, laugh at me. They're like, that's a spider bite. And I'm like, yeah, it literally is a spider bite. And I'm like, cool. I've never been bitten by a spider. And end of that. Well, like, a few hours later, we're eating, like, lunch or something, and I look down and, like, I just have this, like, giant red patch on my skin. And I'm like.

[Enya]

Pictures of it?

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, I heavily documented it, like, but, like, I have, like, this giant red patch on my skin, and I'm like, what the fuck is that? And I show my parents and at the diner, and they're like, bro, you're tweaking. You just scratched it. Like, that's a scratch area. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. And then, like, a couple hours later, I look back down, and it's starting to literally travel up my vein. Like, it literally went to my vein and started traveling up my vein. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? Like, is that, like, an infection? Like, am I, like, actually, like, about to, like, have sepsis? Like, is my blood infected with poison? Like, what the hell is going on? And so I show them again. Everyone is just like, bro, you scratched it. Like, it's not that.

[Enya]

Yeah. I literally was like, girl, you keep scratching it, so you're going to like, that's what's happening.

[Drew]

Yeah. And so I just ignore it. And then the line keeps crawling higher and higher. And then I'm like, okay. Like, this is not good. And then I'm just like, whatever. Like, if it's that bad, I'll be alive tomorrow, and I can figure it out tomorrow.

[Enya]

Like, whatever. I'll be alive.

[Drew]

Yeah. So then I'm like, it's like 4am and I text Josh and I'm like, yo, like, I need to talk to your dad. Like, I think something is very wrong with my arm. And I send the picture to Josh, and Josh's dad is like, okay, like, tell him not to panic. He's gonna be fine. But he needs to go to the hospital, like, right now. Like, he should have gone yesterday to the hospital. He needs to go right now. Or an urgent care, but, like, go and get antibiotics. I didn't do that. Like, I went the next day. I went to sleep, and then I woke up.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

In the line, the. Just to an urgent care. It's called, like, Me Doctor. Like, it was weird as hell, but there the line went all the way up into my shoulder. And what freaked me out is I was laying there and I could feel, like, my arm. Like, I've never. I've had, like, a sensation. I've never felt where, like, my fingers were. Like.

[Enya]

My fingers.

[Drew]

My fingers were like. Like, tingling and, like, numb. And then there were, like, certain spots that were, like, a deep, throbbing, like, almost bruise. Like, sorry, there's ghosts here. I know there's ooky spooky ghosts and skeletons all around, but, yeah, I'm, like, feeling this thriving pain. So I ended up calling Josh's. I ended up calling Josh, and, yeah, I went to the doctor the next day, and they told me I was like, I had, like, cellulitis, which I was like, isn't that, like, what people get on their thighs? But.

[Enya]

Or, like, cellulite.

[Drew]

Cellulite. But they were like, no, it's like cellulitis. Like, you have an infection under your skin and it's traveling up your vein right now. And I was like, oh, my God. So I'm popping pills I gotta take.

[Enya]

I know he's got some perks to go home with. I'm super excited.

[Drew]

Two perks a day for the pain because my arm almost fell off. But, like, tell me why.

[Enya]

So funny. Like, we literally. You can't tell me something's. But we've talked about this on the podcast before. Drew is so difficult because everything is a dying matter.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Extremely difficult to navigate any situation with him or tell the severity of it, because he kind of just likes talking about.

[Drew]

I was gonna say. I was gonna say, like, tell me why. I was like, what if I don't take these antibiotics? And, like, I have to, like, my arm falls off, like.

[Enya]

And I like not taking it.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I get to get, like, a cool chrome hearts, like, arm. Like, custom chrome hearts arm.

[Enya]

Oh, you can't afford that, though, so.

[Drew]

Oh, they do it for free. They do it for free. But, yeah, I'm gonna insert all the photos of it.

[Enya]

Because of your scary arm.

[Drew]

Yeah. This is, like, the last one where I was like, okay, I need to go. But, like, you can see it, like, traveling up. But, yeah, I survived. I'm surviving another day. Every day is a. Okay. Every day is a blessing, and you should treat it as such. And you should love the people around you.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. Wow. When did you find that out?

[Drew]

Yesterday, when I almost died.

[Enya]

You're 25, though. You're 17. You're 17. But by 17, I knew.

[Drew]

Why the does everyone keep saying that to me? Like.

[Enya]

Like, everyone keeps saying you're 25.

[Drew]

You're 25. That's such a weird age to lie about to land on.

[Enya]

Hold on. Let me look at my notes.

[Drew]

We should talk. Hold on.

[Enya]

Let me get on my phone.

[Drew]

About the Berkeley show.

[Enya]

No.

[Drew]

Oh, wow.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. Okay. Actually, we should, because it is so insane. People saw videos of us at the Berkeley show and were genuinely so confused about.

[Drew]

I'm an Ivy League. That's not an Ivy League. Like, iconic. At school, the Unibomber went there, killed a bunch of people. Oppenheimer went there.

[Enya]

Okay. Something's wrong with Jerome. You said that on stage?

[Drew]

Yeah. I was like, y' all are some.

[Enya]

Evil for what it is.

[Drew]

I was like, there's some evil creep in this room that's going to kill people.

[Enya]

Wow.

[Drew]

Even though I kind of agree with Ted Kaczynski. Not the killing people part or the bomb part.

[Enya]

Well, we went To Berkeley. And every time. This is the second college show we've done, and every time we do it, there are like, three moments on stage where we're like, oh, oh, oh, wow. Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Why did I say that?

[Enya]

Why are we saying this to college students right now? But your schools keep asking us to come, so. Oh, I was gonna make a really gross joke, actually. Me in the same sense as being like, why do we say that?

[Drew]

Yeah, no, I just can't talk about drinking Adderall water at a college campus.

[Enya]

And lean.

[Drew]

And lean. But my lean story was lit because it was like, the culmination was like, I'm stupid, but I'm not giving that away. Like, okay, that's the group.

[Enya]

I looked at my notes, and the other last thing, other than my. My uterus.

[Drew]

Can we talk about your uterus?

[Enya]

My uterus is not doing well. But we shouldn't talk about that because I'll get it fixed. I'll get it tightened up. But please, other than my eulogy that I wrote for myself, I wrote this. Like, this was one of the this. So this kids puts into frame where my mind was at while I was thinking I was dying. I said, the fact that I have headphones that can literally turn off the world.

[Drew]

Music in, world out. Literally, music in world.

[Enya]

He got in there because it is so crazy. Noise canceling headphones. Noise canceling headphones when I use my fingers.

[Drew]

Noise canceling headphones when I use my fingers to click the button.

[Enya]

But I'm not kidding. It actually freaks me out. Like, I don't understand how noise canceling headphones work. And I can't believe that they just do. Like, I just turn them on and I hit a button and I can't hear you bitches. Like, that is really crazy. Also very dangerous.

[Drew]

The clairvoyance mode is, like, literally the craziest thing I've ever experienced.

[Enya]

Clairvoyance mode?

[Drew]

No, like, it's crazy that I can hear the world, that there's still music playing in my ears.

[Enya]

But I think that, like, in my head, I'm like, that's just like, regular headphones.

[Drew]

I don't know. It's different. There's, like, microphones. It's, like, pumping audio.

[Enya]

Yeah. I just don't like clairvoyance because why would I want to hear outside louder? I'm putting on my headphones to turn off the world.

[Drew]

Like, when I was talking and walking with you, I had my headphones on, music playing, but I could hear every single word you were saying.

[Enya]

Okay. When I was Walking with you. And I had my headphones on. You were talking to me. I was ignoring you.

[Drew]

Because I just have a Dopamine addiction is really what it is. Like, I need to have two things going into my ear at the same time. 3. Conversation World and music.

[Enya]

I will say I sat in the car on the way to set the other day, and they just had the, like, radio playing, and I didn't put headphones on, and I just sat there listening to the radio and. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is so long. I've done this.

[Drew]

Sat in the radio, and it's okay. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[Enya]

I don't know. Oh, the songs on the radio are okay.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Songs on the radio are okay.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Big statement there.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Like, they're okay.

[Drew]

No, they ate.

[Enya]

No, they did not, though. Also. Okay, we need to talk about this past Halloween. What happened last year. Our. Our takeaway from Halloween was. It was some of the worst IG posts and some of the weirdest.

[Drew]

One thing about it, she's gonna have that damn jewel in her hand. One thing. That's what your Halloween costume should be.

[Enya]

I should be a big jewel.

[Drew]

Never mind. I'll get into that later. I'll let you finish, but.

[Enya]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

I was gonna say never mind, never mind. There's a thing called old people, like, claws that I noticed that old people have claws.

[Enya]

There's no way it's, like, called that.

[Drew]

No, I call it that. But, like, their thumb, like, I guess the muscle in their hand just kind of deteriorates, so their thumb. Thumb rests here instead of here.

[Enya]

And how many old people hands have you looked at?

[Drew]

All of them. But, like, they'll rest their hand like this, and it's just like. It's so cute.

[Enya]

That's how you rest your hand. But everybody's Halloween costume this year was so good. And I don't really understand, like, was that like a. Like a collective decision for everybody to go in? Yeah, everybody's caught, like, my whole timeline on TikTok was like, a costume.

[Drew]

I set a trend.

[Enya]

Oh, okay. Wow.

[Drew]

Yeah. People are just following in the footsteps. What did you.

[Enya]

How did you start that?

[Drew]

Just by throwing good costumes with grandpa eating paints. People just saw me and wanted to be me, period.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

No, but I agree. Everyone's costumes were so good. Like, I am literally, like, jaw dropped at Quinn's. Like, Grace Jones. Yeah, Grace Jones costume.

[Enya]

Like, I know. And it's not even Halloween yet. But are the going to post on Halloween, y' all Already posted everything. I'm going to go on people's I and go back to their post that they posted on Hallow weekend and be like hello, where's the next one?

[Drew]

Where's the real cause?

[Enya]

Waiting.

[Drew]

Waiting. Winning. Winning. No, that was crazy. That era was crazy.

[Enya]

He was so real.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, he ate. Look back at all this he was saying actually I'm not going to co sign that because I don't know what he was saying.

[Enya]

No idea what he was up to.

[Drew]

We were like seven some things he was eating.

[Enya]

I just like his. The, the one that's like popular on Tik Tok where it's like any drugs? Any drugs in the house? Yeah, there's drugs in the house. No there's not. Go find them. I did them. No, I didn't.

[Drew]

Okay, well I'm going to tell the taxi driver story. The evil, evil, evil, wicked taxi driver.

[Enya]

So why are you calling it a taxi driver? Cuz I got a taxi that's in San Fran. You got a taxi?

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. In la.

[Enya]

So in la you got a taxi.

[Drew]

I know, listen. So I land in LA and my bag is the first one. No, no, I didn't, I don't know, my bag was the first one off here. But I land in la, I'm like not in a rush. I'm kind of just vibing. I just want to get home.

[Enya]

Did you land late?

[Drew]

No, I landed like in the middle of the day. But I like if you know anything about la, like going there, flying to LAX is legitimately the worst place ever. If you don't have a ride to pick you up because you have to ride a flight shuttle and then you have to ride that shuttle to your Uber and it's like just hell because they pack you in. Like it's just, it's not chill.

[Enya]

Such an elongated process after like what is usually already such a long flight.

[Drew]

Yeah. And it's just like so, so, so, so, so annoying. But so, but you have the option if you want to call like an Uber select or whatever the it's called and they'll come pick you up just right there. But it's typically $60 more. And like I, almost every time I travel I work that into my budget is like, okay, when I get home I'm gonna have to pay 60 more extra dollars to get an Uber Black because I refuse to go there. But this time I was like, okay, that is just like genuinely the biggest waste of money ever. And I refuse to do it because yeah, it's just so Annoying. So I'm like, I'm just gonna do the Uber exit thing and I get there and when I get there there's legitimately 2,000 people. Like it was a safety fucking hazard. Like it was like mosh pit, like mobbing. Like not fucking chill.

[Enya]

Shit, it's 2000.

[Drew]

Like it was crazy. It was fucking crazy.

[Enya]

Like we've gone so far with vocabulary.

[Drew]

No, like whenever, when I learned the word literally it has become the most used word in my vocabulary. Like whoever your vocabulary is. Like, I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you. But I get to the LAX that there's a thousand people. Like it was kind of actually dangerous. Like I felt like there was going to be like a crowd crush event or something. Like it was not chill. And like I call my Uber and wait like 10 minutes, he never comes. And so I call another one and then it cancels on me. And then the fee goes up $20 and I'm like, oh cool, I should have just got a Uber select up there. And then I'm just like Uber. Like I'm taking a stance against Uber. I hope Uber fails as a company. So I'm like, I'm gonna support the taxis. So because there's a taxi line and I get in the taxi line and.

[Enya]

The only person in LA who's ever been like a taxi. Yeah, I didn't even know they had taxes in la. That's why I'm so confused.

[Drew]

Like, yeah, they're, they're there and I get into my, I'm in the line. It goes by very quickly. I'm like, oh Per, I should have just did this from the beginning. Cool. I get in the car and last time I took a taxi from lax, it the guy randomly halfway through my ride just like added $30 to my ride and I just didn' of the car until he took it off. Cuz I was like, I watched you add that money there like new. So I was like very vigilant.

[Enya]

Anytime I have to imagine you interacting with a stranger in that way, like I can't imagine it.

[Drew]

No, it's crazy. So I get to the car and an older gentleman, I'm like, oh, he's like cute. Like this is a sweet vibe. Like cute. Immediately the meanest person I've ever interacted with in my entire life. Like immediately aggro. Like he, like, I get my bags and like he opens, swings the gate thing open and he's like rolling his eyes and I pick up my bags and he's like, oh, you don't think I couldn't do it. And I was like, oh, my God. No, I just was being nice. And he was like. And I put it down. And he's like, no, do it. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, this is so crazy already. But I was laughing. I was, like, having fun.

[Enya]

You were in a toxic relationship.

[Drew]

No, it was crazy. I was like.

[Enya]

Like, gaslighting you. He's like, oh, wow. You think I'm weak. No. Do it. Do it.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

No, I don't want to do it.

[Drew]

No, exactly. I was, like, being attacked. And so I get in the car, and I get in the seat behind him because I'm like, oh, that's where the payment station is. Like, whatever. And, like, he opens my door really, like, like, really hard. And he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, nothing. And he's like, scoot over. I'm like, oh, my God. Okay. Damn. Like, what? And so as I'm scooting over, okay.

[Enya]

If I was there, I would have let him talk to me.

[Drew]

No, I didn't. Like, that's the thing. I took up for myself. I took up for myself. Finally.

[Enya]

I didn't.

[Drew]

And so I'm like. I'm like, he's already been so mean to me, so I'm just, like, under my breath, like, at him. I'm like, jesus Christ. So I, like, rip. Rip my, like, duffel bag out of the back. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? What are you doing? And I'm like. I'm grabbing my bag, and, like, I guess he thought I was gonna, like, grab a gun out of my bag and kill him or something. And then I was like. He was like, go sit in the passenger seat.

[Enya]

And I was like, he made you sit next to him?

[Drew]

No, no, he meant in the back. Like, a passenger seat in the back. He was like.

[Enya]

He's like, what are you doing? Get to the front. He wants to put his hand on your thigh while you all. While he drives you home, actually.

[Drew]

And so I. What's it called? What's it called? What's it called? Oh, he's like, that's what. That's there for. You don't sit behind me. You sit there. And I was like, this is crazy. So I'm just, like, already in a bad mood, and I have my headphones on. So, like, this is a long fucking story, but I'm going to, like, keep it after this. But I have my headphones on, and I have clairvoyance mode On. And he's, like, talking to me, and I'm talking to him, and then he looks in the rear view mirror, and I just, like, see him look up at it, and, like, I see a scowl on his face. Like, he's angry. And he's like, what the fuck are those on your head? Says the F word. And I'm like. I'm like, excuse me? And he's like, what are those things on your head? What even is that? And I was like, they're headphones. I'm listening to music. And he's like, well, it makes it really, really difficult for me to talk to you. And I was like. I was like, we're not talking. I don't want to talk to you. Why are you yelling at me right now? And then he roll all of the windows. Yes. He, like, came back at me.

[Enya]

Oh. He was like, oh, I know how to turn this.

[Drew]

Literally, he rolled down all of the windows in the car on the freeway. And it was the loudest environment I've ever been in in my mind, like, it was awful. It was such a bad vibe. And I was just like, you know what? I'm not even gonna say. All the empty seats, like, literally in, like, semi trucks blasting by. And just, like, he would slow down, so the engines were, like, going through my window and, like, deafening me.

[Enya]

You might have gotten a ride from the most man on the plane.

[Drew]

I know, it was crazy. A lot more happened in the ride. And then I started recording because I was like, oh, if I'm telling this story, like, I'm gonna have to have evidence because this is crazy. Every time I recorded, nothing bad happened. It was just like. Like, the engines of cars, and it was just loud wind. It was like the worst sound ever. But we get close to the house, and, like, when I got in the car, he was like, where are you going? And I was like. I said the address to our house. And he was like, no, what area are you going to? And I was like, like. And I said, where? What area we live in? And he was like, what are the cross streets? And I was like, I don't know. Just go towards two streets by our house.

[Enya]

And also, I can't stand taxi drivers and Ubers who don't use the Google Maps literally. It's not the 1920s. You are not pushing this car with your feet like the Flintstones. Like, if you don't use your goddamn carplay because you. I know you got carplay.

[Drew]

It was. It was so absurd. And so we get close by the house And I'm like, oh. Like, I. I'll tell you, like, where to go from here. And like, I thought things were cool. And he took. He took.

[Enya]

I knew that.

[Drew]

So offended by it. And he was like, why don't you just tell me the streets? Do you. You don't think I know where I am?

[Enya]

This is literally my dad.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Without fail, anytime I've driven my dad, I can have the directions on my phone, on CarPlay, and I will know exactly where we're going. And he will give me step by step directions the whole way. He also gives me wrong directions all the time. Gives me wrong directions all the time. And then he's like, oh, they must have changed the street. And I'm like, know. You just don't know.

[Drew]

It's literally, it is fully a man thing because like, whenever, like, anybody tells me how to drive, like, boils my blood. But I'll be in the backseat, backseat driving, like, oh, like, watch out for that.

[Enya]

No, you won't, because you'll just be.

[Drew]

On tick tock and scrolling tick tock. I'd be on iPhone and car. Like, I treat it like my car.

[Enya]

And it's like getting into new iPhone.

[Drew]

Like, it's, It's a problem. But anyways, we go close by the house, and I tell him. I was like, I don't know the streets that I live on. Like, because I don't. I just know the area I live in.

[Enya]

This is the same person who from JFK called me. He's. He lands at jfk. I'm in Chinatown. Drew calls me and asked me how to call it Uber. And I literally was so shocked.

[Drew]

I was like, well, they it up. They put like, you have to take. Okay, listen to this. At jfk, you have to get on a shuttle to get on a train to get in a car. So we need to get you on.

[Enya]

The public transportation committee.

[Drew]

No, literally on. In a span of 15 minutes, you're on an airplane, a car, a bus, and a train. Like, insane. That's insane. Just let me call the car to the gate.

[Enya]

But yeah, that was like. But yeah, that makes sense that this person doesn't know the cross streets we live on because he called me to call an Uber.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

I was like, how am I even supposed to help this right now? Like, no terminal, no nothing. I was like, what terminal are you at? And you're like, I, I, I just got off the plane.

[Drew]

I was like, so asleep on that flight. I was still asleep when I called y' all.

[Enya]

Okay, say you don't know the cross streets.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And I'm expecting the story to end with him hitting you or something.

[Drew]

Basically, he looks at me. He. This. This is like the climax of the story. He looks at me in the rear view mirror and he's like, what, are you stupid or something? You don't know what streets you live on. And I was, like, gagged. I was like, okay, honestly, like, respect, because, like, I should know the streets I live on. But, like, don't call me stupid. Like, this is crazy. So I, like, get behind him and I grab the seat belt and I choke him out and I kill him. Like, I kill him right there.

[Enya]

Like, when you said that, I was.

[Drew]

Like, no, no, no, no. So I just like. I'm like, no, I don't know the streets I live on.

[Enya]

You should have farted in his car.

[Drew]

No, I was like, you should have.

[Enya]

Pissed in his car.

[Drew]

When I. I sound like I'm being innocent, but I was, like, beefing right back to him to the point where I think he, like, respected it a little bit because, like, he was like, oh, word. Like, we're beefing. Like, I think it was, like, a fun thing for him to, like, yell at me. And I was kind of getting off on it too. Like, we were kind of like. We were kind of, like, perving on each other in a weird way. But anyways, we, like, we, like, get to the house. And he's like, where do you want to. Where do you want to be parked? And, like, I have video of this. This. But, like, I'm being aggro in it too. Back to him. And I don't want to put that into the world.

[Enya]

So I can't show this.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly. And then so I'm just like, pull over here. And he pulls over, and he's, like, talking. I'm like, okay, how do I pay? I have cash card. Like, what do you want? And he was like. I was like, what's easier for you? And he was like, we do card. And I was like, you don't want cash? And he was like, no, I want to do card. And I was like, okay, why did you tell me you can do cash if you want to do a card anyways? So I do the card, and he's yelling at me through the whole process of me doing the card, like, I can't read the tiny little stupid geriatrics. Take out your card. Like, literally. Literally. And so you know what I did? I killed him with kindness. And I tipped him $20 at the end of the ride.

[Enya]

That's not killing him with kindness.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen, listen. When I got out of the car, he, like, was almost teary eyed. Like, he was, like, profusely thinking with me. He was like, oh, my gosh. Like, thank you so much. Like, what the hell? Like, and it was. It was the weirdest switch up I've ever seen in my life. And I left, like, like, on my high horse because I was like, yeah, like, you. Like, I win you.

[Enya]

I let you yell at me for 40 minutes, and I gave you money for it.

[Drew]

Yeah. So that was like, my evil uber story. And he probably died of a heart attack three days later because I swear to God, he was 98 years old. Like, he had no business.

[Enya]

He was using his last soul, like, last moments to yell at you.

[Drew]

That's what I think. Like, I think he was, like, going through this thing where he's like, I need to experience all emotions again before I die. And he just wanted to yell at someone, and I was just the unlucky. And what's crazy is that he would have done this to a girl, because a girl was supposed to get in his car. And this is where I was like, oh, he's, like, in a bad mood because a girl walked up to him and was like, oh, I'm actually gonna get in this car. And he, like, threw his arms up and was like. He kept doing this old man grunt through the whole thing. He was like. Like, the whole time, like, anytime I would body him, he'd be like. And I'm like, okay.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. I lowkey need him. Like, wait, we need to meet.

[Drew]

No, he was fine. Like, he was literally fine.

[Enya]

That's why he said y' all were perfect.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Also, I'm gonna address it right now. Drew is straight, okay? Like, everybody keeps talking about it. Like, drew is straight. Like, go back on his ig. He's always like, Beyonce sexy. Lady. Gaga sexy. Lana Del Rey is sexy. Lord is so cute. Like, I, like, Drew goes in like, Drew knows an attractive woman when he.

[Drew]

Sees I love a body.

[Enya]

Yeah. And he, like, he understands. Like, women deserve the right to make art and be sexy at the same time. Like, he is straight.

[Drew]

Like, actually, no women should be in the kitchen, but.

[Enya]

Oh, okay. Yeah. But I mean, like, honestly, that adds to the straightness.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Enya]

And at most, maybe, maybe a little by maybe, maybe that's just like, if you get caught slipping so that no.

[Drew]

One can never, ever that okay, then never, never that never. That never. No, it's only punani.

[Enya]

Oh, whoa.

[Drew]

Okay, so Orion needed a camera from your room, so I was helping her look for a camera in your room. India has 25 cameras, and that wasn't even all of them. I counted 25 cameras. You have a problem.

[Enya]

You literally have an issue. So women making art and expressing themselves problem. Yeah, that's a problem.

[Drew]

Is you use maybe two of those cameras.

[Enya]

Yeah, I've been collecting them for years. I'm a collecting woman. No, when I saw Gathering.

[Drew]

When I saw them, me and Orion were, like, crying, laughing. We were like, why does she have this many cameras? This is crazy.

[Enya]

Well, to be fair, like, I. When I lived at home. Hold on, I have to fix this. When I lived back at home, I used to, like, I started collecting cameras. So I've been gifted a lot of those by multiple lovers and people who admire my body.

[Drew]

Not me.

[Enya]

Yeah, because you don't admire me anymore. You just. It's like the Madonna horror complex now. I'm like a mother to you.

[Drew]

I'm just left behind.

[Enya]

But, yeah, whatever. Oh, boo. I have a problem. I have a problem. And guess what? After this, I'm gonna go buy a T shirt. Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it? Shopping is just like, it gives me. Actually, recently, it hasn't been giving me anything. Like, it literally is, like, so unsatisfying and it's.

[Drew]

You know.

[Enya]

But that happens every year. So I'll be back. I'll be back in springtime, and I'll be right back to that shopping addiction. 11.

[Drew]

I was gonna say, what would be fun for you, since you don't like shopping, is saving money.

[Enya]

Oh, wow. Oh, it doesn't sound like a rainy.

[Drew]

Day fund or something.

[Enya]

No, I mean, it never rains in Southern California.

[Drew]

Oh. While I was looking for cameras, I found your journals and looked through all of them and read everything.

[Enya]

What the hell?

[Drew]

I read everything.

[Enya]

Okay. And did you like what you saw?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Wow. Should I publish them?

[Drew]

No.

[Enya]

Oh, okay. Then it seems like you.

[Drew]

I cannot believe I forgot about this. Me getting food poisoning before my flight.

[Enya]

Oh, Drew's had a really good health week.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, I got food poisoning and then blood.

[Enya]

Well, that's also what happens when you don't leave the house. And it's like, you know what doesn't leave the house for, like, months at a time. And then when he leaves it, everything goes wrong because you're, like, stacking up your outside living style karma. And then you have to get it all in one week because the universe knows that you're not gonna, like, come back out after you go back home.

[Drew]

Oppenheimer.

[Enya]

Ooh.

[Drew]

The way you. Never mind. But I. You know what I realized?

[Enya]

No. Okay.

[Drew]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

[Enya]

This is actually just a. I want to talk to. Your touch makes me. Your touch appalls me.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen. What is that from?

[Enya]

It's the Tyler, the creator.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. What was I saying? Oh, you know what? I think I got food poisoning. Okay, so.

[Enya]

Oh my God. Shut the hell up.

[Drew]

Let me talk. Let me talk.

[Enya]

Let me talk to you because I know it's about to be some nasty.

[Drew]

So what I originally thought 20 bet.

[Enya]

That he got the food poisoning from exactly where you would think you'd get food poisoning.

[Drew]

Okay, It's a curveball. So I thought I went to see. What is that movie? Killer of the flowers. Moons or whatever.

[Enya]

How was that?

[Drew]

It was pretty good. Like really fucking long and like, whatever. But it was.

[Enya]

I can't stand a long movie.

[Drew]

Objectively a decent.

[Enya]

They gotta start showing movies in double speed.

[Drew]

Like actually they need an option.

[Enya]

There should be a button or like a. Everybody in their seats can vote.

[Drew]

Or a separate theater for like brain rotted people because it was three and a half hours. Okay, let me. Okay, so before. Before the movie, I was like saving my stomach all day because I was like, oh, I'm gonna eat like 18 hot dogs. Like a bag of popcorn, a big soda. Like, dude, I'm gonna wild the out cuz movie hot dogs. I swear to God.

[Enya]

They put their scam. Because Drew's alive.

[Drew]

AMC put their whole. AMC put her whole in those hot dogs. I swear to God. Because like, they taste so good. Good.

[Enya]

Well, I will say they are so yummy.

[Drew]

I had a few of them and one of them, one of them was like crusty. Like, you know when you cook a hot dog too long and it's like wrinkly and dry. I ate it anyways. It tastes fine, but it just like the texture was nasty boots. And I think I thought it was that because I came home and like six hours later, like my stomach was churning. Like worst nausea of my life. I won't go into too much detail, but I was shitting and vomiting at the exact same time. Like that level of like, I won't.

[Enya]

Go into too much detail, but I was spraying out my butt.

[Drew]

You know what? I got lucky though, because I bought baby wipes before from H Mart, so I didn't have Like a bloody butthole. A bloody butthole. But I. What was the. I was. Oh, I, like, was vomiting all night long. All night long. And my flight was. I had to wake up at 3:50 in the morning. And an hour before I started throwing up, I booked my seat to be a window seat. So the entire flight I had to tap the person next to me and ask them to get up so I could go. And you should have crawled over them. Terrible. I thought about it a couple times, but he smelled bad. And he was mean too. He was like, you don't belong here. I was like, oh, my God. Like, what the hell? But you know what I realized where I think I got the food poisoning from?

[Enya]

What?

[Drew]

Remember after the Berkeley show when I drank sink water and I read a sign that said it's non potable water water, which means it's like, not treated water.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So I was just drinking, like untreated water and probably drink a brain eating.

[Enya]

Literally. I, like, people might think that this is a character he plays, but I am not kidding. This person. I don't know how when. When you, like, had to meet us here. I was like, I don't know if he'll make it. Like, I don't know if he'll make. And I beat you Manhattan to Chinatown. And I beat you kidnapped. And like, sold on Teemu. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen to it.

[Drew]

We got Drew on Teemu.

[Enya]

Yo. They have Drew. But, like, I don't understand how this person makes it after the Berkeley show. There's water. It's a school campus. There are water fountains. But Drew was in such a panic state to get water. He ran into the bathroom and drank a bunch of tap water out of the sink. And then I read out. And he, like, he was too embarrassed to empty the bottle he filled with tap water into the fountain and get regular water. So he just let his stomach sit on unfiltered water. And I know you didn't drink any more water for the rest of the day.

[Drew]

I didn't. I didn't. No, I didn't. It was. Was really one of the worst decisions I ever made. And I still do it. I didn't learn my lesson. I will drink, like, if I go to the bathroom at a restaurant, like.

[Enya]

I'll just drink a handful free water. Like, they give it to you. You just have to.

[Drew]

But it's so cold. Like, it hurts my teeth.

[Enya]

It's too cold.

[Drew]

It hurts my belly like it does. I hate. And I'm too nervous to Ask for no ice. Because it's like weird, but I think in my head, like. Like the free water they give me is just out of the sink anyways. Like it's all from the same.

[Enya]

Yeah. Depending on where you go.

[Drew]

But yeah. So I think I got my food poisoning from the sink from Berkeley campus.

[Enya]

Berkeley.

[Drew]

Count your days.

[Enya]

I still win $20 because you got it exactly where you would think you'd get a stomach virus.

[Drew]

Yeah, true.

[Enya]

So give apple cash me right now.

[Drew]

Really?

[Enya]

Go on. Hurry up. You move it to some though. Should be quicker.

[Drew]

I don't even know what your phone number is.

[Enya]

Make it 25.

[Drew]

Really?

[Enya]

Oh my God. Are you actually sending me money right now?

[Drew]

Are you sure you want this?

[Enya]

Yeah, I mean, like I would love $20.

[Drew]

20. All right. Sent.

[Enya]

I made a bet with somebody behind your back. The second I met them, I met. I made a bet about you behind your back.

[Drew]

What? Wait, who?

[Enya]

When we were all shopping, I had said to Max, I was like. I was like, what are the ch. I was like, I would put $20 down that he's going to go into that store, find something he really likes, look at the price tag and be like, that's just ridiculous.

[Drew]

And I did it three times.

[Enya]

No matter how bad he likes, he's gonna be like, that's. I could find that. And then he never looks for it.

[Drew]

And I don't need it. I. That's one thing about me is.

[Enya]

Yeah, you are good about that.

[Drew]

I don't need it.

[Enya]

I am in such need for a hit. You know what it is? You get all your dopamine hits from your iPhone.

[Drew]

14 hours on my phone a day.

[Enya]

Let's see that screen time. I guess it's been probably low because you're here.

[Drew]

No, I got a notification last night that said 10 hours and 41 minutes. And I was like. In my head, I was like, damn. I'm like killing it. Like, oh, no, no, no. Oh my God. Yeah. Yesterday was 10. How the was it 10 hours? I had to have fell falling asleep with that. That. That's crazy.

[Enya]

Yeah. Literally in New York with your parents, like going on like tourist attractions walking around, and you're still making that one thing about Ju is he's going to dedicate his time. He's going to get that screen done.

[Drew]

No, no, no, that cannot be real. It says 15 hours and 31 minutes. There's no way.

[Enya]

You know what's crazy is this is real. Cuz that means from Berkeley. And you just like, damn, you tunneled in.

[Drew]

I was tapped in.

[Enya]

Oh, you spent six hours and 40 minutes on tick Tock that.

[Drew]

Stop looking at my. Stop looking at my.

[Enya]

Look at the way your legs are twisted up right now. Oh, that's good. Wait, I want to see mine. Oh my God, Drew, you actually sent me money. That's funny. Thanks.

[Drew]

I was gonna talk about. But we're like pretty much over with this episode.

[Enya]

Yeah, you are pretty much over says.

[Drew]

Wow. I was gonna talk about this time. I'll just look forward to it next week because it's a doozy. But.

[Enya]

Make sure you guys come back next week. It'll be a doozy.

[Drew]

My mom took me and my sister for our like kindergarten aged birthday to a George Strait concert and it was awful. Like it was so bad we got like robbed. A tornado hit us. Like my mom got pulled over four times on the way home. Like she lost her phone and we got lost for like eight hours. It's hell on earth. Oh, wait, go back. Hold on. Now you're tripping because what is that? Oh, not much better than me. Nine hours and then the next day. The next day.

[Enya]

Okay. Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Nine hours.

[Enya]

Nine hours. Wow. Okay, but like how about this? My average on a week.

[Drew]

Week. Three minutes.

[Enya]

My average is like seven hours. Six hours. Yeah. Why is this one only an hour on October 8th to 15th.

[Drew]

Yeah. Where were you? Why didn't you have your phone for five days?

[Enya]

I don't know. This actually makes no sense.

[Drew]

You're on Google Reddit. Google.

[Enya]

Wait, this actually makes no sense. What happened to my iPhone? Yeah, I just like, like sometimes I just tap into real life.

[Drew]

It literally says like two minutes, I'm.

[Enya]

Gonna go up like.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Hello? Yeah, it's. Dude, it's Cuz I was dedicating all my time to hitting my jewel.

[Drew]

Yeah, literally you were sucking that jewel down. Okay, one last thing before.

[Enya]

This one isn't new. Sorry. We had a hater off screen in our live audience saying it's cuz this is a new iPhone, but this isn't a new iPhone. This is the Iph and I've had.

[Drew]

And you bought a new phone and then left for two weeks and it's just there. It's like the most deranged thing I've ever seen.

[Enya]

Okay, well, it's because I have to post on Instagram.com and I was going to be out of town and guess what? I don't even post on Instagram.com because I'm so tapped into my real life and I don't use my phone.

[Drew]

Yeah, how about that?

[Enya]

Maybe I thought about that.

[Drew]

Yeah. Did y' all think about that?

[Enya]

Well, that. That phone is for sending nudes to you.

[Drew]

Yeah. And you got two hours and we've.

[Enya]

Been together like all the time, so I don't have to use it yet.

[Drew]

That's true. That's true. True. Okay, this is the last thing I'll say and then we'll get into media.

[Enya]

Stop deleting your notes.

[Drew]

Oh, God, that scared the out of me. Why did that happen?

[Enya]

Drew doesn't know how to use his phone. For someone who uses it, he does not know how to use something. He's trying to screenplay something and it's like he forgot you have to swipe up on your phone because he literally. Also the way he holds it makes it crazy. He was literally like this. He was like, how do you do this? Because I'm screenplaying and it's not working.

[Drew]

And he's like, yeah, like that's how I do it. So.

[Enya]

Yeah, something's wrong with Drew.

[Drew]

Okay, this is the last thing I'll say, but your eye cream is low key. Just hammer cream.

[Enya]

My eye cream, sis. I don't use eye cream. So jokes on you.

[Drew]

All eye cream is just repackaged hemorrhoid cream. Like the you put under your eyes. Cuz that's supposed to like do something to your blood vessels. And when you put eye cream under it does something your.

[Enya]

Oh, it's to like shrink your blood. Like the blood flow to the vessels.

[Drew]

So you get rid of the bag. So it's just hemorrhoid cream.

[Enya]

So what's crazy is I have this. This thing where like God chose me to have like the perfect under eyes and I don't put makeup on there and I don't put cream on there because I just look so gorgeous naturally.

[Drew]

I love under eye bags. I think they're so cute. I like tried to like not sleep for a long time to get.

[Enya]

Everybody wants what they don't have is love.

[Drew]

What you have me with straight people.

[Enya]

No, but have that. Oh, no. It's because you have that and you want the other side of it.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Enya]

Right.

[Drew]

Okay. Media sitting like this.

[Enya]

This looks like crazy.

[Drew]

Oh, look at my Halloween costume for next year.

[Enya]

You planning for next year? Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Isn't that crazy?

[Enya]

That's pretty good.

[Drew]

Like me.

[Enya]

I mean, it depends on like if anybody gives a about us next year, but if they do, if y' all still give a.

[Drew]

If y' all still care. Okay, I'll just do Drew side up corner these. I'm not gonna lie oh, my God.

[Enya]

That would be so good. We're gonna bleep this.

[Drew]

That would be lit.

[Enya]

That would be good.

[Drew]

That would be so fire. It's my podcast chair. I'm gonna be my podcast chair for Halloween next year. But. Okay. These ones are, like. Are so diabolically mid. Like, I, like, don't like them at all. But whatever.

[Enya]

I have two.

[Drew]

Oh, really? Tap in.

[Enya]

Should I go? No, you start it. It's yours.

[Drew]

Anxiety is so embarrassing. Like, oh, no. What if something happens? Like, come on. Jesus Christ. I was supposed to, like, deliver. Like, oh, no. Like. But no, I'm over it. Okay, people. I'm over it, people. A haunted house. But it's just filled with guys saying that they swear they can change for you. Despite. Despite the horrors of life, there will always be a phone to look at in bed. That one's just raw and real.

[Enya]

Yeah, that one's really good.

[Drew]

Is there a way to be gay without being a part of the lgbt? And that's all of them. Like, these suck, didn't they?

[Enya]

Well, yeah, mine kind of suck. Girl. Just on him. If you're mad at him. Just on him. You will have plenty of chances to on him. Just do it.

[Drew]

It.

[Enya]

And then. I don't trust people who stink at the pool or beach.

[Drew]

Stinging at the beach is crazy.

[Enya]

Like, how do you stink in a pool of Clorox? In a. In a pool of chlorine. Like, damn, you are really pushing through perseverance, honestly. So maybe it's something that's good about you that. Well, media of the week is. I'm not giving it to you, so suck my balls. Oh.

[Drew]

Interface occupied by sugars. S C H N E E R E G E N. Okay, me, when I'm saying my password, I don't know how to. I don't know how to say that word.

[Enya]

Let me see.

[Drew]

May skill.

[Enya]

Oh, yeah, I guess Maxel.

[Drew]

No, no, though make the S word.

[Enya]

Oh, I can't say that.

[Drew]

Yeah. Always calm. And this one's embarrassing. I love destroy. Lonely. Like, if looks could kill, I could be the fashion demon walking.

[Enya]

I've never heard.

[Drew]

You heard this song, bruh?

[Enya]

Oh, okay. I can't handle that.

[Drew]

I'm just opium pilled.

[Enya]

Yeah, you're just like, you're open.

[Drew]

Open or opium?

[Enya]

Well, mine is Venus as a boy, but the dream mix. Smoking gun Magnolia, Shoddy and Shoddy Bay coming to a city near you. And I still just been listening to a lot of hollow notes like Coco.

[Drew]

Rosie, too.

[Enya]

I finally finished the Sopranos. I finally finished What? I finally finished it. I finished it yesterday.

[Drew]

That's crazy.

[Enya]

So insane. I'll insert a clip of me, maybe my reaction to it. And if you finished it, you will know. And if you haven't, you still won't know, but you will maybe one day understand, but. Oh, I. I like.

[Drew]

Did you cry?

[Enya]

I didn't want to finish it. Yeah, I did cry. I didn't want to finish it because I have become so connected to all those characters. Like, I literally love everybody in that so much, and. But now I get to start Nurse Jackie, so I'm really excited about it. Yeah. Because I didn't want to start Nurse Jackie because I didn't want to, like, be. Watch two shows with, like, an actress playing two different roles because I didn't want to, like, I don't know, be like, oh, my God, what the is Carmela doing right now? But very exciting. And, yeah, I love the Sopranis, and I'm really sad it's over.

[Drew]

So, yeah, I watch Killers of the flower Moon or whatever the title of that movie is called.

[Enya]

Like, you watch Talk to her. Yeah, talk to the hand.

[Drew]

Take my hand.

[Enya]

All right, well, thank you guys so much for watching Shout out to stray rats for letting us use the space.

[Drew]

Beautiful, beautiful space.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. Wait. Collab coming soon or no way? Yes or no? Probably no. I don't know. I don't know if we're, like, important enough, but we'll see. All right.

[Drew]

Peace and love and unity and respect by.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like general Mills cereal drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies, and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.